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Speaker 1: Welcome back to another episode of Alchemy. This sign your

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Speaker 1: host Kevin First pets a cat name Rascal ste Guy

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Speaker 1: grew up on willow Brook Drive, So yes, for the

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Speaker 1: what's your porn actor name game? Mine would be Rascal

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Speaker 1: willow Brook. You bet you? What's yours? Listeners? But I digress.

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Speaker 1: Let's meet Chamis shall we no particular order? Let's welcome

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Speaker 1: Craig a cow skik cow standout thing you learned this

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Speaker 1: summer um. I'm still thinking my porn name, which is

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Speaker 1: Kitty wood Fern. They're always so great. Oh what a

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Speaker 1: Maybe that's it. Since we're still in the summer, Kitty,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna stick with Kitty Wood first wood Fern, uh Fern.

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Speaker 1: We need you on set. Please say hello to Gary

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Speaker 1: Anthony will Yeah a lot, Gary Anthony Williams to say

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Speaker 1: hello to you. Yeah, I take some time. Yeah please Hi.

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Speaker 1: G Dub Recalling life as a child, What was a

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Speaker 1: truly odd thing you heard someone say which would later

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Speaker 1: make sense as an adult? Dude? One time? And this

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Speaker 1: is real. First of all, my parents, my dad was

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Speaker 1: very dry, funding my mother was kind of loud. Once

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Speaker 1: when I was a tiny, tiny, tiny kid, she was

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Speaker 1: sitting around with a bunch of her women friend um,

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Speaker 1: and they were eating these little, uh little Debbie oat

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Speaker 1: will snapcakes with cream in the middle, and my mother

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Speaker 1: said to Miss Elizabeth or Miss Elizabeth, she said, uh, Lizabeth,

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Speaker 1: you want one of these? And Ms Lize said no,

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Speaker 1: and my mother said, well when you know you like

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Speaker 1: that white stuff going down your throat and the like,

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Speaker 1: and they just busted out laughing. And I had no

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Speaker 1: idea why they laughed, so I just followed it away

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Speaker 1: and things to think about as I'm older. And then

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Speaker 1: when I got older, I realized that my mom was

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Speaker 1: talking about Miss Lizabeth eating. Just how old were you

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Speaker 1: when that beautiful memory? For me, I wasn't even in school. Yes,

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Speaker 1: I had to be about five years old. And when

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Speaker 1: the memory sprung, when it made sense, it was just

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Speaker 1: a couple of years ago. It was no more than

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Speaker 1: ten years ago. And I was like, Mama, thank you

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Speaker 1: very much for all of that. In the Hoose, Jackie

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Speaker 1: Gonzala to wrote that, Jay, do do you remember baking

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Speaker 1: your first cake? Never baked a cake? Don't like cake,

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Speaker 1: won't stop it? What about pie? What I love pie? Yes,

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Speaker 1: first pie you baked? I do remember baking my first pie.

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Speaker 1: It was an apple pie. I think it was my

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Speaker 1: first Thanksgiving being staying in Los Angeles and not going home.

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Speaker 1: And what a treat, What a treat? It went well, Yes,

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Speaker 1: it went very very well. It turns out I'm very

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Speaker 1: good at making pie. Did you do the fold up

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Speaker 1: thing at the edges? No? I didn't go crazy, but

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Speaker 1: I did make my own dough and the doll was

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Speaker 1: very very good. And I still use the same recipe.

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Speaker 1: I recently made a peach pie. May I recommend peach

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Speaker 1: and blueberry next time? Please? Yeah, I'll take any recomdiation.

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Speaker 1: I love making and eating pie. My porn name is

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Speaker 1: Andrew Montgomery, and I also love an animal pet named Andrew.

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Speaker 1: Oh that's good. And now James Eni jumping Jimmy Flash.

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Speaker 1: If you did have a face to face with an

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Speaker 1: actual alien, what might you say? I would say, what's

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Speaker 1: the secret to traveling so quickly across so much space?

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Speaker 1: And you can call me Sarah South Street? Sarah South Street?

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Speaker 1: Do you say the street partner? Just Sarah South? Yeah.

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Speaker 1: My first dog's name was Sarah, and I lived on

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Speaker 1: South Street. Sarah South Street. We need you on at

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Speaker 1: five and last, but stick your finger in it if

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Speaker 1: you think at least it's Joey Greer, pumpkin hole. Odd

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Speaker 1: nicknames you were given. I wasn't given any nicknames. I

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Speaker 1: was given titles. Okay, what was title three? Title three

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Speaker 1: was let's see, it was probably Admiral of the New Oceans. Okay, yeah,

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Speaker 1: good buddy of mine bestowed that upon me, sweet sweet path.

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Speaker 1: And then my poor name is vagina fat cock name,

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Speaker 1: fat fat cock? You do you're not in that cul

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Speaker 1: de sac? Did you grew up in that cul de

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Speaker 1: sac on fat cock? Yeah? I did. What my Yeah,

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Speaker 1: my family lived in the cul de sac right right

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Speaker 1: there at the very yeah yeah, yeah, right there that

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Speaker 1: the ball of the tip of the world. That is

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Speaker 1: so yeah, that's a family. That's a family thing. Family.

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Speaker 1: That the guy, the white people who owned my family,

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Speaker 1: they left part of that too. Uh. Here I go

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Speaker 1: and talk about who owned me again later, get them started.

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Speaker 1: All of our scene suggestions to gather from your listener

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Speaker 1: emails or from our patroon the IPS to become a

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Speaker 1: patron support of the show and enjoy exclusive content like

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Speaker 1: stand alone bonus scenes that's new, or video of our

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Speaker 1: recording sessions, or at the highest level of support Alcomaniac,

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Speaker 1: you'll have a choice to join us for one of

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Speaker 1: these recording sessions. You heard me. Just head on over

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Speaker 1: to patreon dot com slash alchemy this if you'd like

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Speaker 1: a scene suggestion sent via email. Hey, I love to

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Speaker 1: read them, love to respond Alchemy this email at gmail

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Speaker 1: dot com. That's alcome This email. Scene one comes from

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Speaker 1: Patreon alcomaniac, Will, who wrote Hello Alchemist, Will Morris of

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Speaker 1: upstate St. Louis. Every genre Reality TV fights in an

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Speaker 1: all out Highlander style war to the death. They can

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Speaker 1: only be one thank you, love you, ps order up. Hey,

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Speaker 1: who are you here for? I am I'm reading for

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Speaker 1: my dance partner. He was supposed to be here three

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Speaker 1: hours ago. I can't go on stage without him. I understand. Okay,

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Speaker 1: so we're gonna wait for your partner, Yeah, if we can.

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Speaker 1: I hope he's okay. He's I just need you to

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Speaker 1: sign in. I just need you to sign in. If

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Speaker 1: you wouldn't mind, please just their name, name in the show,

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Speaker 1: shoe size, and if you have a button, that'd be great. Um, okay,

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Speaker 1: show button, show button. Um. I have a button on

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Speaker 1: my outfit. And if it's not going to ruin the

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Speaker 1: outno show button, like a button that has the name

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Speaker 1: of the show on it. I haven't received that yet,

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Speaker 1: all right, So right now, we'll just take shoe size,

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Speaker 1: name of you and your sure Okay, so um shoe

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Speaker 1: size four and a half child child for and half. Um.

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Speaker 1: My partnership's name is Diablo Duo Duo. I know for

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Speaker 1: a fact those goddamn property brothers are right behind that wall. Okay,

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Speaker 1: Now we gotta get in there. We gotta bludge them

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Speaker 1: to death. All right. How do we know which one?

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Speaker 1: We're blood and both of them, both of them, okay,

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Speaker 1: both of them, and you honestly don't want to see

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Speaker 1: one more dead than you want to see the other,

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Speaker 1: cause I want one more dead. Take that one. Take

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Speaker 1: that one. You don't have any charge, you don't have

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Speaker 1: any choice in the matter. You're indifferent about that kind

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Speaker 1: of what does it matter? Okay? We have made our

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Speaker 1: way through half of the h G TV personality lineup,

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Speaker 1: all right. I haven't even processed what we've done. Okay,

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Speaker 1: blood on our hands, there's guilt in our hearts, but

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Speaker 1: there's something we gotta do, Okay, because if they if

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Speaker 1: they get to us, they're gonna do the same thing exactly. Hey,

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Speaker 1: first of all, if you be headed before me, no, no,

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Speaker 1: let's let's let's do this in the right way. If

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Speaker 1: I get be headed before you, I want you to

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Speaker 1: pick my head up and look into my eyes and

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Speaker 1: say something to see if I try to answer okay, okay, okay.

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Speaker 1: And then if if my head gets cut off before you,

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Speaker 1: I don't want to imagine that. That sounds like a tray.

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Speaker 1: Hi checking in ted property to property my brother twelve

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Speaker 1: and a half and twelve and a half. The show

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Speaker 1: is property, brothers Okay? Is that the button? This is

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Speaker 1: the show button. That's a winner. That's a damn good button.

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Speaker 1: That's that's one for that's one for you, and uh

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Speaker 1: and Todd Todd is a little gift for you as well.

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Speaker 1: Here you go. We made this ourselves that you can

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Speaker 1: hang that around your neck. Is that a pot? It's

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Speaker 1: like a button, But you don't have to put a

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Speaker 1: hole in your shirt. You killed my brother, tied property,

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Speaker 1: and now it's time for you to property pulling out

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Speaker 1: by testing. Man, I'm not sure that's gonna do the job. There.

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Speaker 1: You cut my head still is talking. I'm still oh, yes,

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Speaker 1: his head his head. I forgot how long could you

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Speaker 1: stop doing that? I'm gonna call nine one one and

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Speaker 1: see if we can't save this fellow. Happy Hello there

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Speaker 1: you Uh yeah, we have a situation down at the

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Speaker 1: Reality Contesting horrible situation Burbank Boulevard. If you could send

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Speaker 1: someone MT. I think in the MT. We just need

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Speaker 1: to shove some intestants back inside of one of our contestants.

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Speaker 1: That's contestants contestants, Well, what's happening? Also, my head separated

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Speaker 1: from my body. He's lost his head as well. I'm

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Speaker 1: not sure if that's metaphorical or actual. His head is actual,

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Speaker 1: his head is talking with Actually, I've got a talk

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Speaker 1: in the head here. This is crazy. He's supposed to

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Speaker 1: be dead. If it's I know, we gotta get in

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Speaker 1: there and figure out what paul of him we need

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Speaker 1: to cut off to make him die. Maybe maybe maybe

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Speaker 1: he shouldn't have died. May, Maybe we shouldn't have cut

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Speaker 1: off his head. Huh. May maybe some of the people

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Speaker 1: that we've been cutting off the heads shouldn't have got

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Speaker 1: their heads cut off. Okay, here's here's what we can do.

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Speaker 1: Directed by the situation. I'm gonna sneak back in there

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Speaker 1: before the four not one one of whoever. He is there,

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Speaker 1: and I'm gonna try to reinstate his head onto his body. Okay, okay, Okay,

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Speaker 1: hold on, before we do that, Okay, let's let's come

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Speaker 1: up with a reveal. Okay, we're gonna have a reveal,

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Speaker 1: have a review, Okay, a little before and after Okay.

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Speaker 1: So that means we're gonna have to get some interviews

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Speaker 1: done of people who know him beforehand, right right hand

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Speaker 1: interview right okay, say okay, and then we're gonna have

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Speaker 1: to maybe uh, she's like a rehab of the body

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Speaker 1: or something, so when he gets the body looks better

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Speaker 1: than what it was. Jacoba, I'm outside. I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I can't audition without you. Where are you? I am

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Speaker 1: stuck in traffic. Come on you mostly a little bit longer.

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Speaker 1: Please give me a show button without you being here.

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Speaker 1: But they all got to show. I have a show button.

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Speaker 1: Don't worry about it. I'm almost there, Moppen. I can't

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Speaker 1: be on the phone. It's too hard to steal it.

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Speaker 1: When I'm on the phone, do you look to me, Jacob,

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Speaker 1: I'm absolutely freaking out. You know how nervous I get

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Speaker 1: before our big auditions. What do you want me to do?

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Speaker 1: Split the lanes and get myself killed? No, I don't

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Speaker 1: want to get yourself killed, but yeah, you can. Gonna

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Speaker 1: be patient. They didn't know there was gonna be so

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Speaker 1: much traffic. Well I didn't know that I need to

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Speaker 1: be patient when I signed up to the passa doorlay

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Speaker 1: with you. Come on? Uh, wet socks. I got wet

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Speaker 1: socks for sale. One sick it? I need to get

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Speaker 1: these mopen. He wanted to move his moped and giving

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Speaker 1: him what he wants and then move it the moped. Alright,

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Speaker 1: hey man, he wants some wet socks for sale? Two

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Speaker 1: pairs of Can I get two pairs? One for men

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Speaker 1: and one for women? Wet socks? Two pairs? Oh they're

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Speaker 1: unisex man? I mean okay? Can I get one large

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Speaker 1: and one small? Their unisex? Man? Are you dumb? Huh? Dumb? Okay,

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Speaker 1: I'll pick two socks and get your ass over here. Now, okay,

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Speaker 1: I'm on my way. Huh what happened? Hello? Is anyone

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Speaker 1: left here? Oh? My god, there's so much bund Hello,

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Speaker 1: Oh goddish have seen one? So I promised soon as

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Speaker 1: Sean Connery got here, we would cut that fucker short.

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Speaker 1: Oh baby, seemed to come from listener Milton, who wrote

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Speaker 1: high crew after hearing my email read in the Best Podcast,

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Speaker 1: I thought less effort on the opening lines, more energy

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Speaker 1: for the scene suggestion and since I heard you guys

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Speaker 1: like when the audience themselves rate their own suggestions, here's

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Speaker 1: a good one. Scene suggestions. Short term memory detective closing

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Speaker 1: in on the infamous senile killer kiss Me Little Kiss,

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Speaker 1: Milton from Sweden. I mean just doesn't make any sense.

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Speaker 1: What's the problem, well, I mean none of the clues

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Speaker 1: are added up. I just don't get it. I mean

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Speaker 1: it's just not good with math or clue. What the

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Speaker 1: fund is your problem? Are we working together or not? Man? Huh,

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Speaker 1: I don't know, you don't know. God damn. Look every

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Speaker 1: weapon is different, yep, I see everything shot is different,

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Speaker 1: every case is different. There's no remo reason. I don't

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Speaker 1: know what the motivating factor is for this psycho. Now, well,

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Speaker 1: let's not use words like psycho is do you have

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Speaker 1: to put a title like that on this particular person?

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Speaker 1: That's all they are right now as a person. Do

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Speaker 1: you know what we're talking about? Murder? Multiple clues? Okay,

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Speaker 1: for the first time in a long time, you're actually

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Speaker 1: paying attention. Usually just like, forget what the hell I'm

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Speaker 1: talking about, Franklin, Della. No, I need both of you

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Speaker 1: in the office right now. Stop my come in captain.

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Speaker 1: Just let me do the talking this time, all right

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Speaker 1: from the guy who just said, fuck my life. I

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Speaker 1: want you heading this great? Yeah, awesome, Okay, you know what,

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Speaker 1: Let's have you do all the talking. Then I'll stand

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Speaker 1: there like an idiot. No, you know, why don't you

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Speaker 1: go in there, dude? Right? Give us a second? Yeah, no, no, guys, guys, guys,

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Speaker 1: figure out who's gonna do the talking before you get

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Speaker 1: into this office. I don't have all damn day. All right,

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Speaker 1: you do the you do the talking. Oh excuse me,

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Speaker 1: could you help me with my oven? It seems to

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Speaker 1: not be working in my unit. Sure, I was just

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Speaker 1: heading out to the garage. It'll take just a moment.

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Speaker 1: Come into my unit. Okay, all right? Oh thish is

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Speaker 1: the oven right here? There's a problem with the oven?

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Speaker 1: What is it? Nut turning on? Put your head inside

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Speaker 1: of it. I'm not gonna put my head in the

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Speaker 1: oven a bit, please. I shocked to wrong with my

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Speaker 1: I can't cook my pot pies. Do you have Hubert's number?

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Speaker 1: He's the super for this building. Oh, I can't wait

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Speaker 1: that long. It gets so late so early. Here, put

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Speaker 1: your head in the oven. Okay, I'm not I'm not

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Speaker 1: putting my head head in the oven. Yeah, after four

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Speaker 1: D grades? How Oh, I can't wait. Totals detectives, fightness.

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Speaker 1: It should be here in the biddies. Was it coming

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Speaker 1: to the garage? Are talking about Hubert? Are you talking

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Speaker 1: about Hubert? I'm talking James. James is doing garage duty.

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Speaker 1: I understand that, But Hubert's not around either. What the hell? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's kind of strange. Have you even noticeding like a

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Speaker 1: lot of a lot of people been getting killed lately?

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Speaker 1: Not only that fucking killed, A lot of people are around.

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Speaker 1: Check out my eyebrowsers. They go up sucking missing as well,

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Speaker 1: a lot of people aren't around. Huh you know what

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Speaker 1: I mean? Yeah, I'm sure James will be here any moment. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm sure. Yeah. It was excuse me, felish. I hate

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Speaker 1: the body. I was asked to investigate a case here.

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Speaker 1: I was wondering if either of you, uh know where

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Speaker 1: three apartment three Apple A three A. I'm sorry, three

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Speaker 1: Apple A, three A, because there's both of those departments.

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Speaker 1: My mistake, thank fellish. What the hell was that about it?

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Speaker 1: We could have you know? Was it me? Or was

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Speaker 1: that duster jacket on him? Way too big? Too big

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Speaker 1: for what? You never too big to look good? Right exactly?

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Speaker 1: I'm always like, why don't they make the dusters just

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Speaker 1: unisex right, like wetting them down, wet them down to

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Speaker 1: make exactly. But a lot of people don't realize unisex

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Speaker 1: means the same size. It's not even about but it's

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Speaker 1: not gentlemen, I hate the disturbed this rather candid conversation

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Speaker 1: you're having. Can I ask if either of you know

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Speaker 1: where I might find an apartment three A as an apple?

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Speaker 1: That's okay, that's what we were asking earlier. You said

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Speaker 1: three apple A or three You were asking each other

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Speaker 1: when I just as I was asking you, and then

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Speaker 1: you you scratched your head and you, ah, this is

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Speaker 1: my first time here, sir, right, don't recall your first time.

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Speaker 1: So is it department three A that I'm looking for

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Speaker 1: as an apple? And hey, he said this is his

285
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Speaker 1: first time here, and clearly he just walked up to us,

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Speaker 1: and I know you're hurting my elbow. Yeah, so you

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00:18:08,160 --> 00:18:11,320
Speaker 1: know that's fine, It's fine. I totally agree. This is crazy,

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Speaker 1: and I grab hard and I do seriously. I mean,

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Speaker 1: I know, I know. Oh god, damn when you heard

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00:18:17,160 --> 00:18:19,359
Speaker 1: him like you saw him the first time. Yes, clearly

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Speaker 1: I've come with a bad time. Gentlemen. You I'm just looking,

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Speaker 1: you know what, I'll just keep I'll go from one

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Speaker 1: A to two A and eventually I'll find three. Yeah

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Speaker 1: you mad, Yeah, that's one of the boys to do

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Speaker 1: bonjeour my friends. I was wondering if you could tell

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Speaker 1: me where his apartment three? A second guy did, And

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Speaker 1: what's up with this kind of like a fantasy, kind

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Speaker 1: of steampunk look you got going on here? I have,

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Speaker 1: I have elaborate waxed mustache and bowler bowler hats. But

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Speaker 1: I don't know, oh that I would necessarily say it's

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Speaker 1: steam got a cane And he looked like you're from like,

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Speaker 1: I don't know, Turn of the Sentry kind of ship.

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Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. So we we masure apartment three.

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Speaker 1: Follow that fellow there in the what my partner considers

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Speaker 1: an oversized duster. Just follow him. He's here. I mean

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Speaker 1: it is an oversized duster. You consider it that way,

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00:19:21,600 --> 00:19:29,720
Speaker 1: but his past patty in the past. Hell, what's everybody

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00:19:29,880 --> 00:19:35,080
Speaker 1: doing here in my place? I shied a body you, ma'am.

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Speaker 1: I don't know who you know. I was in the

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Speaker 1: middle of of kissing a little kiss from from a

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Speaker 1: boyfriend of mine. I was in the middle of kissing

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Speaker 1: a little kids door. I understand. I'm looking for attomption fellow.

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Speaker 1: Now my boyfriend. Now, I was going to get it

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Speaker 1: in and now he's asleep. He's name the door. He

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Speaker 1: fell asleep. He's a that time. I can come back

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Speaker 1: at another time. I'm very I also come come back

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Speaker 1: at another time. I'm just saying, you've already ruined my night.

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Speaker 1: What's everyone doing here? You need some you need you

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00:20:13,080 --> 00:20:16,240
Speaker 1: need some some fruits. I just had a couple of

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Speaker 1: questions for a fellow by the name of Thompson. Thompson. Oh,

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Speaker 1: you're looking for three A apple. This is three A

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Speaker 1: It's just me by my lonesome here. That's over good.

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Speaker 1: One of you two boys, could you help me? I

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00:20:35,280 --> 00:20:39,159
Speaker 1: have a problem with my blender and in unit three

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Speaker 1: a apple. One of you two boys, but certainly totally one. Well,

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Speaker 1: we gotta be quick. We're looking for looking for a buddy, James,

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00:20:51,520 --> 00:20:56,400
Speaker 1: and he's also missing. But James should be It's probably

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00:20:56,440 --> 00:20:59,119
Speaker 1: a real simple fix. It's a little tiny blender. What

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00:20:59,520 --> 00:21:05,000
Speaker 1: were you in here? Oh? I burned to pie? I

330
00:21:05,600 --> 00:21:10,080
Speaker 1: to pie. It was a chicken pot pie. Look. Look,

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Speaker 1: we don't mind helping out, but we uh, we work

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00:21:12,760 --> 00:21:15,720
Speaker 1: as a we work as a pair. That's time. It's

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00:21:15,760 --> 00:21:18,400
Speaker 1: just clearly a job for just one person. So if

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00:21:18,440 --> 00:21:22,080
Speaker 1: one of you could leave, Look, if you want, this

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00:21:22,160 --> 00:21:23,919
Speaker 1: is your teeth on the floor here. They look like

336
00:21:24,600 --> 00:21:30,680
Speaker 1: thank you. I couldn't find those. Do look like James's teeth? Huh? Weird? Okay?

337
00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:36,919
Speaker 1: That look on the inside inside a insignia on the

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00:21:36,920 --> 00:21:40,840
Speaker 1: belt you see that. Oh my god, dude, that's James insignia. James,

339
00:21:41,520 --> 00:21:43,159
Speaker 1: one of you. I need one of you. Could you

340
00:21:43,280 --> 00:21:45,560
Speaker 1: to help me with the splendor and put your hands

341
00:21:46,320 --> 00:21:49,439
Speaker 1: just reach into the splendor here on my hands. My

342
00:21:49,480 --> 00:21:52,000
Speaker 1: hands aren't letting me get to the end. Then that

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00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:55,399
Speaker 1: if you're going to fix the blender. Ah, my friend,

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00:21:55,440 --> 00:21:59,159
Speaker 1: my little gray cells, tell me that three a Apple

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00:22:00,080 --> 00:22:05,120
Speaker 1: is another impartment entirely I suggesting we're in the wrong buildings.

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Speaker 1: I think we may be in the room building. That's

347
00:22:09,560 --> 00:22:13,160
Speaker 1: something those reapples. Actually right, it's just the unit right

348
00:22:13,200 --> 00:22:16,200
Speaker 1: next door I can live. The walls are very thin.

349
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Speaker 1: I hear most of what he's going on. You know,

350
00:22:18,880 --> 00:22:21,479
Speaker 1: he's got a lot of Maybe we don't need to

351
00:22:21,480 --> 00:22:24,280
Speaker 1: talk to Mr Thompson. We can ask you what sort

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00:22:24,320 --> 00:22:27,399
Speaker 1: of sounds of your cared coming from that place. A

353
00:22:27,400 --> 00:22:30,199
Speaker 1: lot of grunts and grounds. The guys always in the

354
00:22:30,280 --> 00:22:34,160
Speaker 1: kitchen cooking up things. But it never smells good, smells nasty,

355
00:22:36,960 --> 00:22:41,080
Speaker 1: messed up, and it does. It doesn't smell madame like.

356
00:22:41,560 --> 00:22:45,920
Speaker 1: It's the cooking of a human being. Yeah, I've never

357
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Speaker 1: could I've never done that. I couldn't tell you that,

358
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Speaker 1: but if I did have to decipher Roddy flash and

359
00:22:55,480 --> 00:22:58,120
Speaker 1: my boyfriend up, my boyfriend's awake, Oh my god, it's

360
00:22:58,119 --> 00:23:00,439
Speaker 1: so embarrassing. Oh well, we don't want to stop you

361
00:23:00,560 --> 00:23:03,120
Speaker 1: from throwing it in, as you said earlier, so good

362
00:23:03,200 --> 00:23:06,440
Speaker 1: luck with that. We hope it worked out, Montly, and

363
00:23:08,040 --> 00:23:11,000
Speaker 1: really throw it in at this point in my life,

364
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Speaker 1: you know, or else I'm not gonna feel its think

365
00:23:15,200 --> 00:23:18,439
Speaker 1: it's a big target. It's a big target. Maybe we

366
00:23:18,520 --> 00:23:21,040
Speaker 1: got to move out of three CS and cat. We

367
00:23:21,160 --> 00:23:23,720
Speaker 1: gotta move out of here. Do you hear them over

368
00:23:23,760 --> 00:23:26,639
Speaker 1: there trying to kiss a little kiss. They're trying to

369
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Speaker 1: kiss a little kiss, and I'm over here trying to

370
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Speaker 1: read a book. Not because you care about that. I'm

371
00:23:34,600 --> 00:23:38,439
Speaker 1: talking about of you babies. Go ahead. I don't know

372
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Speaker 1: why we don't kiss a little kiss anymore ourselves. I agree,

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Speaker 1: I mean, you should just kiss a little kill. Look,

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Speaker 1: your job is to watch us do or not do

375
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Speaker 1: whatever we're going to do. Your job is to not

376
00:23:50,200 --> 00:23:52,560
Speaker 1: chime in on where that we should kiss you. I

377
00:23:52,640 --> 00:24:03,400
Speaker 1: think we should change those rules. Then I agree. Oh okay,

378
00:24:03,440 --> 00:24:06,600
Speaker 1: well it is not the thropple and three scats that

379
00:24:06,840 --> 00:24:10,440
Speaker 1: they are. They are totally innocent, that that is true. Yeah,

380
00:24:10,680 --> 00:24:13,880
Speaker 1: we can rule them out for sure. We can't rule

381
00:24:13,920 --> 00:24:15,760
Speaker 1: them out. To my friend, let's make sure we have

382
00:24:15,840 --> 00:24:19,200
Speaker 1: the same building as we thought we did. But this

383
00:24:19,520 --> 00:24:22,200
Speaker 1: is a scene. This is being this one. Maybe this

384
00:24:22,440 --> 00:24:24,800
Speaker 1: is a and then the next one would be a apple?

385
00:24:25,160 --> 00:24:30,960
Speaker 1: Is that right? Yes? Yes, this is how the alphabet goals. Right. Okay, Well,

386
00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:33,560
Speaker 1: if you want to knock and started, maybe I gotta

387
00:24:33,600 --> 00:24:36,160
Speaker 1: show all off kill to go ahead. Please be my gig,

388
00:24:36,920 --> 00:24:44,280
Speaker 1: all right, knock, knock, knock. Oh oh, well, well, well

389
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Speaker 1: if it isn't measured or sorry to disturb you. My

390
00:24:49,720 --> 00:24:52,920
Speaker 1: friend here had a couple of questions. I'm just gonna stand. Oh,

391
00:24:53,000 --> 00:24:58,639
Speaker 1: I could ask your questions. Okay, a question, Okay, go ahead.

392
00:24:58,760 --> 00:25:03,120
Speaker 1: This is first question. I am a Cuba. Oh. Many

393
00:25:03,119 --> 00:25:05,439
Speaker 1: people think I am French, but I am, of course

394
00:25:05,640 --> 00:25:13,880
Speaker 1: Beljean ni obviously uh. And knowing that I have a

395
00:25:14,000 --> 00:25:19,639
Speaker 1: very very distinct skills in the olfactory area, I smell

396
00:25:19,720 --> 00:25:25,240
Speaker 1: the distinct smell of human being cooking. No, no, no,

397
00:25:25,359 --> 00:25:29,600
Speaker 1: I was I was burning my nail clippings. I was

398
00:25:29,640 --> 00:25:33,879
Speaker 1: getting rid of my nail clippings. This is a plausible explanation.

399
00:25:34,200 --> 00:25:39,560
Speaker 1: Although I have found that skin, it is the largest organ,

400
00:25:39,640 --> 00:25:43,760
Speaker 1: of course, smells very different than what you call your nails.

401
00:25:44,760 --> 00:25:47,679
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, but sometimes when I cut my nails, I

402
00:25:47,760 --> 00:25:50,240
Speaker 1: cut so far that some of the skin comes with it.

403
00:25:50,240 --> 00:25:53,000
Speaker 1: It's as simple as that. It's just a little bit

404
00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:56,360
Speaker 1: of skin on the nails. Could we take a look

405
00:25:56,359 --> 00:25:59,840
Speaker 1: in your oven your mind? Don't just be a mom

406
00:25:59,880 --> 00:26:03,040
Speaker 1: I sir, I mean I could go back to the

407
00:26:03,080 --> 00:26:05,119
Speaker 1: station and get a warrant to face what you're a

408
00:26:06,359 --> 00:26:11,359
Speaker 1: h Please don't. We'll be We're just put our heads

409
00:26:11,359 --> 00:26:14,800
Speaker 1: in the oven. Look around a little bit. We can

410
00:26:14,840 --> 00:26:17,200
Speaker 1: both put a minute the same time. I don't think

411
00:26:17,200 --> 00:26:20,840
Speaker 1: that will be a problem. If you guys have finished

412
00:26:20,960 --> 00:26:23,520
Speaker 1: arguing out there, who's gonna talk when they come in

413
00:26:23,600 --> 00:26:28,320
Speaker 1: and speak to me? Detectives. I'm ready, Yeah, I know

414
00:26:28,440 --> 00:26:31,159
Speaker 1: he's got it, Captain gun What do you mean? What

415
00:26:31,240 --> 00:26:32,800
Speaker 1: do you pulled on a second? You said you were

416
00:26:32,840 --> 00:26:36,320
Speaker 1: going to talk the guys. If you don't have it

417
00:26:36,359 --> 00:26:38,800
Speaker 1: down yet, I'm happy to wait until you guys know

418
00:26:38,840 --> 00:26:44,280
Speaker 1: who's captain. We're ready. We're to step on it. Face

419
00:26:44,560 --> 00:26:48,399
Speaker 1: you do it, guys, for real, for real, This is

420
00:26:48,440 --> 00:26:49,920
Speaker 1: how it works. If you're not ready to come in

421
00:26:49,960 --> 00:26:53,919
Speaker 1: and talk. Ready, Captain, we were ready to go. Okay,

422
00:26:54,119 --> 00:26:58,439
Speaker 1: here's the problem. Or at the apartments, so to speak.

423
00:26:58,960 --> 00:27:01,960
Speaker 1: Two of our best texts have gone miss hold on it,

424
00:27:03,320 --> 00:27:06,480
Speaker 1: so to speak. It's not so they might be condos,

425
00:27:07,480 --> 00:27:13,720
Speaker 1: so to speak. Hercule and colam they're not uh, they're

426
00:27:13,720 --> 00:27:18,159
Speaker 1: not asking their phones at all. Oh my god, I know.

427
00:27:18,720 --> 00:27:20,919
Speaker 1: Maybe they just can't find their phone. Captain. We've been

428
00:27:20,960 --> 00:27:23,640
Speaker 1: over this before. Sometimes now that these guys are idiots.

429
00:27:23,840 --> 00:27:26,600
Speaker 1: Maybe not, but I don't want any more guesswork. He

430
00:27:26,640 --> 00:27:28,960
Speaker 1: doesn't use anything modern. He loves to live in the past.

431
00:27:29,000 --> 00:27:33,800
Speaker 1: And I'm not here to discuss the men you're factoring

432
00:27:33,880 --> 00:27:39,480
Speaker 1: of evidence or the way they do things. What I'm

433
00:27:39,520 --> 00:27:42,200
Speaker 1: here to say is two of our finest are gone.

434
00:27:42,960 --> 00:27:44,679
Speaker 1: I mean you too, to go figure out what the

435
00:27:44,680 --> 00:27:47,439
Speaker 1: hell is going on? Could we also be considered two

436
00:27:47,480 --> 00:27:56,280
Speaker 1: of our finest? Captain just before we head out? Uh yeah, yeah, said,

437
00:27:57,520 --> 00:28:01,760
Speaker 1: we're gonna do this. Call me on my cell phone. Sure, Hello?

438
00:28:04,840 --> 00:28:08,280
Speaker 1: What's everybody now doing over here at this hour? You

439
00:28:08,320 --> 00:28:12,200
Speaker 1: know I have a boyfriend. You know. We're not here

440
00:28:12,320 --> 00:28:15,680
Speaker 1: to solicit a little kids hugging a little hug, touching

441
00:28:15,680 --> 00:28:19,080
Speaker 1: a little touch, poking a little pole. Who are you

442
00:28:19,160 --> 00:28:22,720
Speaker 1: throwing it in? Man? What the fuck? Yeah? I was, Yeah,

443
00:28:22,800 --> 00:28:27,560
Speaker 1: we were throwing it in. We had to do. We

444
00:28:27,640 --> 00:28:30,240
Speaker 1: have to or else it's never going to get in there.

445
00:28:30,280 --> 00:28:33,040
Speaker 1: You gotta do it with gusto. Okay, you don't got

446
00:28:33,119 --> 00:28:34,880
Speaker 1: to dip down with the rust, all right, So um,

447
00:28:35,400 --> 00:28:37,760
Speaker 1: come on, I gotta show you a little bit. It's

448
00:28:37,760 --> 00:28:40,640
Speaker 1: fine man, all right. So let's just see we're looking

449
00:28:40,680 --> 00:28:44,480
Speaker 1: for two detectives that might have been around here. Columb

450
00:28:44,480 --> 00:28:49,720
Speaker 1: and Hercule. Oh yeah, sure, I saw two detectives can't

451
00:28:49,760 --> 00:28:53,040
Speaker 1: talk to me and they were absolutely they were long

452
00:28:53,040 --> 00:28:56,760
Speaker 1: ago along ago. Was that what you said? Gosh? Maybe

453
00:28:56,800 --> 00:29:01,880
Speaker 1: three fucks ago? Maybe three? Not the same too? Who

454
00:29:04,600 --> 00:29:11,600
Speaker 1: you know? It's a good time. C three comes from

455
00:29:11,600 --> 00:29:14,800
Speaker 1: some listener Dan, who wrote, Hey, Kevin, sometimes my mind

456
00:29:14,800 --> 00:29:18,000
Speaker 1: wanders at work and wonder to myself if I send

457
00:29:18,040 --> 00:29:21,240
Speaker 1: them an email where they really have to improvise any

458
00:29:21,280 --> 00:29:24,400
Speaker 1: crazy idea that I have. I happened across such an

459
00:29:24,400 --> 00:29:29,360
Speaker 1: idea and couldn't hold back during a frat hazing some

460
00:29:29,440 --> 00:29:33,960
Speaker 1: pledges wake up at a furry convention. I'm ready to

461
00:29:34,000 --> 00:29:38,440
Speaker 1: hear some mere magic yours, Dan, Oh, what's happening? I

462
00:29:38,560 --> 00:29:42,600
Speaker 1: haven't shut up? All right, fly folded right now, and yeah,

463
00:29:43,040 --> 00:29:48,000
Speaker 1: cross com bag on your head, all right. I can't breathe.

464
00:29:46,960 --> 00:29:51,239
Speaker 1: I can't breathe. All right, let's take off. You know.

465
00:29:51,400 --> 00:29:55,360
Speaker 1: If she can talk, if you can talk, you can breathe. Okay,

466
00:29:56,200 --> 00:30:01,760
Speaker 1: all right, Well what's happening? But what's happening? So keep

467
00:30:02,280 --> 00:30:06,720
Speaker 1: on your head? So? Uh do you want to do this? No?

468
00:30:06,880 --> 00:30:08,200
Speaker 1: I don't want to do this, but I don't want

469
00:30:08,240 --> 00:30:10,240
Speaker 1: them to do the head. Did you take the bag

470
00:30:10,280 --> 00:30:12,320
Speaker 1: off your head when you were getting brought it? I

471
00:30:12,360 --> 00:30:17,280
Speaker 1: wouldn't have bags when I was in college. What never?

472
00:30:19,160 --> 00:30:21,240
Speaker 1: Can we just get a stay on the point, Okay,

473
00:30:21,320 --> 00:30:25,160
Speaker 1: I don't think Okay, okay, sorry, I had bags when

474
00:30:25,200 --> 00:30:30,040
Speaker 1: I got I'm taking the bag off, I'm taking Oh

475
00:30:30,120 --> 00:30:34,800
Speaker 1: my god, she's fucking dead, dude, She's not dead, just dead,

476
00:30:35,280 --> 00:30:39,160
Speaker 1: Oh my god. Oh okay, okay, uh oh, I know

477
00:30:39,160 --> 00:30:42,680
Speaker 1: what to do. Try mouth to mouth. No, okay, get

478
00:30:42,720 --> 00:30:45,640
Speaker 1: in there, throw it in. No, we just okay, look,

479
00:30:45,680 --> 00:30:47,560
Speaker 1: we just gotta accept that she's dead. All right. We

480
00:30:47,640 --> 00:30:52,760
Speaker 1: just gotta accept that she's dead. She's part of the pledge. Okay, deeck.

481
00:30:52,920 --> 00:30:56,520
Speaker 1: You know you're a twentieth year senior. You know I've

482
00:30:56,520 --> 00:30:59,560
Speaker 1: been Yeah, you've been here longer than I've been Dean,

483
00:31:00,280 --> 00:31:03,680
Speaker 1: all right, and uh, you know I know that Pledge

484
00:31:03,680 --> 00:31:06,560
Speaker 1: Week is what you live for. And you you take

485
00:31:06,600 --> 00:31:10,080
Speaker 1: one three credit class a semester just so you can,

486
00:31:10,520 --> 00:31:14,280
Speaker 1: you know, stay in the frat. Uh. And and now

487
00:31:14,360 --> 00:31:17,600
Speaker 1: that you're this is some sort of co ed frat

488
00:31:18,200 --> 00:31:21,560
Speaker 1: that that you're initiating people into what what's what's going on?

489
00:31:21,600 --> 00:31:22,960
Speaker 1: What do you mean what's going on it's called the

490
00:31:23,000 --> 00:31:26,440
Speaker 1: future Dean. And also I just want to say um

491
00:31:26,480 --> 00:31:30,560
Speaker 1: for Thanksgiving this year. Uh, like, I know you're you

492
00:31:30,560 --> 00:31:32,959
Speaker 1: know you're you and my daughter are kind of on

493
00:31:33,000 --> 00:31:37,560
Speaker 1: the rocks right now. But yes, I mean the fact

494
00:31:37,560 --> 00:31:42,200
Speaker 1: that you're my stepdad makes all this more awkward. Alright, Die,

495
00:31:44,000 --> 00:31:46,440
Speaker 1: I just want you to know that we're we're happy

496
00:31:46,480 --> 00:31:48,280
Speaker 1: to you know, do it at our house. So we're

497
00:31:48,280 --> 00:31:50,479
Speaker 1: doing it here at the frat house. So but anyway,

498
00:31:50,480 --> 00:31:52,160
Speaker 1: I don't I don't want to have thanks Giving at

499
00:31:52,160 --> 00:31:56,600
Speaker 1: the frat house, Okay, to start later, and yeah, I

500
00:31:56,640 --> 00:32:02,080
Speaker 1: can't pledge a lady now, all right, fine, I I

501
00:32:02,160 --> 00:32:08,160
Speaker 1: think that that actually is, you know, encouraging. And maybe

502
00:32:08,200 --> 00:32:10,240
Speaker 1: you don't open your desk because someone might have taken

503
00:32:10,240 --> 00:32:15,480
Speaker 1: his ship and all your drawers. Oh, come on, you're

504
00:32:15,560 --> 00:32:21,960
Speaker 1: fifty three years old, grow up. Okay, yes, there's a

505
00:32:21,960 --> 00:32:26,200
Speaker 1: ship in my desk. You're happy now, you just get deeked.

506
00:32:28,880 --> 00:32:34,320
Speaker 1: I've been deeked more than enough times, okay, And uh, look,

507
00:32:34,440 --> 00:32:37,160
Speaker 1: we need to have some vegetarian options that Thanksgiving this

508
00:32:37,280 --> 00:32:41,840
Speaker 1: year fucking way, yes, Like I'm not gonna eat your

509
00:32:41,840 --> 00:32:47,440
Speaker 1: fried tur ducan. It's so fucking good you're gonna love it.

510
00:32:47,760 --> 00:32:51,400
Speaker 1: You're gonna it's all right. But Allison is mostly vegetarian now,

511
00:32:51,440 --> 00:32:54,000
Speaker 1: so I think we're just gonna concentrate on size. It's

512
00:32:54,000 --> 00:32:56,120
Speaker 1: all the bullshit you're putting in her head. She used

513
00:32:56,120 --> 00:33:04,160
Speaker 1: to eat meat. Okay, Hi deck Uh, let you pick

514
00:33:04,240 --> 00:33:06,520
Speaker 1: up the phone please. This is your doctor. This is

515
00:33:06,560 --> 00:33:13,800
Speaker 1: from Sherman Doctor in Center. Hi deeck, Hi, how buddy.

516
00:33:14,520 --> 00:33:17,880
Speaker 1: Uh you came in two weeks ago for a full physical.

517
00:33:18,600 --> 00:33:23,320
Speaker 1: Uh and uh, first of all, everything looks good. We

518
00:33:23,360 --> 00:33:26,000
Speaker 1: did not get your fecal samples back. You just send

519
00:33:26,040 --> 00:33:34,560
Speaker 1: an empty bag of air. Yeah, kind of unloading. Gonna

520
00:33:34,640 --> 00:33:41,000
Speaker 1: unloaded on my son in law. That's that's information. Uh,

521
00:33:41,520 --> 00:33:44,600
Speaker 1: not necessarily anything. We just need to get your fecal

522
00:33:44,640 --> 00:33:50,280
Speaker 1: samples in so that no prop doc. I got a question. Yeah,

523
00:33:50,640 --> 00:33:52,360
Speaker 1: you think it's funked up if I drink beer and

524
00:33:52,400 --> 00:33:59,120
Speaker 1: smoke weed. It's a bit prematured. I mean a prematurity.

525
00:33:59,720 --> 00:34:03,400
Speaker 1: You a mature person just to be asking a doctor

526
00:34:03,400 --> 00:34:06,760
Speaker 1: that I'm a doctor. I'm a medical doctor of medicine.

527
00:34:07,240 --> 00:34:10,040
Speaker 1: But just bring that fecal samples by as soon as

528
00:34:10,080 --> 00:34:13,840
Speaker 1: you're able to make them, could you? No prob no,

529
00:34:15,360 --> 00:34:17,799
Speaker 1: please treat me with a little bit of respect. I

530
00:34:17,880 --> 00:34:22,879
Speaker 1: have a doctorate in doctorism, Babe. I just I don't

531
00:34:22,880 --> 00:34:25,800
Speaker 1: want to tell my dad that we're pregnant. I just don't.

532
00:34:27,640 --> 00:34:29,799
Speaker 1: I mean, he's going to be a granddad. I mean,

533
00:34:29,840 --> 00:34:35,120
Speaker 1: he's gonna want to know that, right. It's more do

534
00:34:35,360 --> 00:34:37,840
Speaker 1: I want, you know, do I want to submit my

535
00:34:38,040 --> 00:34:43,760
Speaker 1: child to that. It's it's boundaries and it's a personal choice.

536
00:34:43,960 --> 00:34:48,239
Speaker 1: And honestly, I don't think he'd noticed, like, yes, I'm

537
00:34:48,280 --> 00:34:51,520
Speaker 1: seven months, very much so showing. I just don't think

538
00:34:51,560 --> 00:34:55,520
Speaker 1: you noticed. Now. I think you're right, he's oblivious to

539
00:34:55,640 --> 00:35:01,879
Speaker 1: most things. I mean he's been the entire your entire life.

540
00:35:01,880 --> 00:35:03,839
Speaker 1: He's been going to college, he's been a frat bro.

541
00:35:04,560 --> 00:35:09,279
Speaker 1: Growing up in that house was scarring, to say the lead.

542
00:35:09,360 --> 00:35:11,520
Speaker 1: I don't even understand how does he make money? Like,

543
00:35:11,560 --> 00:35:15,319
Speaker 1: how is how is how was money coming in? You know,

544
00:35:15,480 --> 00:35:18,680
Speaker 1: his parents died when he was twenty one, and that's

545
00:35:18,719 --> 00:35:21,520
Speaker 1: exactly at the same time that his trust fund came

546
00:35:21,560 --> 00:35:27,400
Speaker 1: into place, so he just got bombarded with cash. All right, Well,

547
00:35:27,440 --> 00:35:29,920
Speaker 1: thanks for coming in. I appreciate that, and again, sorry

548
00:35:29,960 --> 00:35:33,160
Speaker 1: for your loss. Um. I just wanted to let you

549
00:35:33,239 --> 00:35:36,560
Speaker 1: know that the trust fund kicks in now that you've

550
00:35:36,600 --> 00:35:39,680
Speaker 1: turned twenty one, and so I'm just curious what your

551
00:35:39,719 --> 00:35:44,040
Speaker 1: plans are as well be managing those funds. Uh for

552
00:35:44,200 --> 00:35:46,440
Speaker 1: right now? I don't know, I think, Um, I mean,

553
00:35:46,480 --> 00:35:48,759
Speaker 1: you're in college, You're supposed to be graduating soon. I'm

554
00:35:48,800 --> 00:35:54,160
Speaker 1: just curious what the future holds for you. Ah well, Um,

555
00:35:54,280 --> 00:35:57,400
Speaker 1: I was thinking maybe um traveling the world, trying to

556
00:35:57,400 --> 00:36:04,080
Speaker 1: find enlightenment in peace? Right, Bruce, Wayne, listen, we're here

557
00:36:04,080 --> 00:36:08,120
Speaker 1: to help. We take our jobs seriously. So you tell

558
00:36:08,200 --> 00:36:10,200
Speaker 1: us what you'd like to do and we'll try to

559
00:36:10,239 --> 00:36:16,000
Speaker 1: help make that up. Oh, I don't know. Maybe I

560
00:36:16,080 --> 00:36:21,160
Speaker 1: guess stay in college, get fucked up. N I'm sorry

561
00:36:21,160 --> 00:36:23,400
Speaker 1: to interrupt. I'm going to take an early lunch break.

562
00:36:23,960 --> 00:36:25,919
Speaker 1: When I stepped away from my desk a moment ago,

563
00:36:26,560 --> 00:36:30,880
Speaker 1: someone put a steamer in my desk drawer and I

564
00:36:30,920 --> 00:36:32,879
Speaker 1: just need to go clear my mind and take a break.

565
00:36:32,920 --> 00:36:37,160
Speaker 1: Can I bring anything back from the from the Sfteria

566
00:36:38,239 --> 00:36:41,000
Speaker 1: Sandwich place where they makes the sandwiches? Yes, Cafteria, Yes,

567
00:36:41,320 --> 00:36:43,880
Speaker 1: sorry you lost me at the fecal sample. Is that

568
00:36:43,920 --> 00:36:46,880
Speaker 1: what they left at you? They left a steaming hunk

569
00:36:46,960 --> 00:36:49,799
Speaker 1: of fecal matter in my desk, and I just need

570
00:36:49,800 --> 00:36:51,799
Speaker 1: a sandwich to clear my mind. And you don't have

571
00:36:51,840 --> 00:36:53,440
Speaker 1: any idea who that might have come. No, No, I

572
00:36:53,480 --> 00:36:55,960
Speaker 1: stepped away for just a moment, Hi, sir, I stepped

573
00:36:55,960 --> 00:36:59,680
Speaker 1: away for just a moment, right, Okay, yeah, give me

574
00:37:00,080 --> 00:37:02,720
Speaker 1: uh if they have any chili, I'll take the chili

575
00:37:02,960 --> 00:37:06,600
Speaker 1: they have. They have chili. Okay, Why do you want

576
00:37:06,600 --> 00:37:09,759
Speaker 1: me to take a dump in this bag? Deeke? I

577
00:37:09,840 --> 00:37:11,880
Speaker 1: just need it for a dog sample. Just do it.

578
00:37:11,920 --> 00:37:15,680
Speaker 1: Don't be an ass. I mean it's pretty probably you

579
00:37:15,719 --> 00:37:18,360
Speaker 1: about to do it. But all right, I already dumped

580
00:37:18,360 --> 00:37:26,040
Speaker 1: my load. Okay, Okay, okay, Jesus, did you rip the bag? God?

581
00:37:26,280 --> 00:37:30,959
Speaker 1: Damn dude, I'm gonna get another bag. Man, I gotta

582
00:37:31,000 --> 00:37:42,359
Speaker 1: get another. Stop going, I gotta get another day. I can't. Yeah, deck,

583
00:37:42,719 --> 00:37:49,160
Speaker 1: What's what's going on here? Man? What you gonna not? Look,

584
00:37:49,160 --> 00:37:52,600
Speaker 1: there's been some complaints about you projecting porn movies on

585
00:37:52,719 --> 00:37:56,520
Speaker 1: the side of the cigap house. Okay, you're having a

586
00:37:56,560 --> 00:38:00,799
Speaker 1: regular Andrew Montgomery Film Festival. I figure it's the only

587
00:38:00,840 --> 00:38:06,800
Speaker 1: action they can get. Okay, Look, you can't. It's it's offensive,

588
00:38:06,840 --> 00:38:09,000
Speaker 1: all right. You can't project porn on the side of

589
00:38:09,040 --> 00:38:13,200
Speaker 1: your building. Can you give me that bag? This bag here,

590
00:38:14,239 --> 00:38:20,319
Speaker 1: oh Jesus heavy, just digging your hand into it? Put

591
00:38:20,480 --> 00:38:25,600
Speaker 1: put my hand right in there. Okay, Oh I got

592
00:38:24,680 --> 00:38:33,719
Speaker 1: de whoa? Where am I? What's happening? What? There's a

593
00:38:33,719 --> 00:38:39,640
Speaker 1: bunch of very costume Is this heaven? Wait? You're you're

594
00:38:39,680 --> 00:38:45,160
Speaker 1: at a very convention? Manor welcome? Yeah? Man, we made

595
00:38:45,160 --> 00:38:52,120
Speaker 1: it through. I know over my head and I was

596
00:38:52,719 --> 00:38:55,640
Speaker 1: not breathing. Well, we brought you back to life. Yeah,

597
00:38:55,680 --> 00:38:59,640
Speaker 1: you're gonna be okay, Thank you. You're gonna be okay. Welcome, welcome,

598
00:39:00,920 --> 00:39:04,960
Speaker 1: very custom. But you're gonna be okay. Oh oh, whoa?

599
00:39:05,000 --> 00:39:10,280
Speaker 1: And I'm and I'm dressed like Pikachu. This is wow. Yeah,

600
00:39:10,320 --> 00:39:15,640
Speaker 1: I'm dressed like a Wolf of the bob Tail. Welcome, Welcome.

601
00:39:16,000 --> 00:39:19,120
Speaker 1: What happens to Mr? Wolf? What do we do now? Well,

602
00:39:19,400 --> 00:39:22,560
Speaker 1: now that we know that you're okay, we can't very

603
00:39:22,600 --> 00:39:25,719
Speaker 1: well let let you go out and tell everybody else

604
00:39:25,760 --> 00:39:30,839
Speaker 1: about our secret convention here. Wait, what suppose we'll either

605
00:39:30,920 --> 00:39:35,480
Speaker 1: have to stay or that's your only option? Your options

606
00:39:35,600 --> 00:39:40,440
Speaker 1: are you have to stay? Okay, scratch with us, scritch

607
00:39:40,560 --> 00:39:43,880
Speaker 1: with you. We'll scritch you if you scratch us back. Okay,

608
00:39:43,880 --> 00:39:48,120
Speaker 1: how does that work? I mean, before I can say

609
00:39:48,200 --> 00:39:49,960
Speaker 1: yes or no. I think it would be helpful to

610
00:39:50,000 --> 00:39:56,240
Speaker 1: know what it is I'm scratching you now getting scritched. Jesus,

611
00:39:56,280 --> 00:39:58,600
Speaker 1: Dina was a prank. Okay, Allison was supposed to wake up.

612
00:39:58,640 --> 00:40:00,200
Speaker 1: But she's gonna be in the friend all right. I

613
00:40:00,239 --> 00:40:04,920
Speaker 1: don't know where the hell is now. You're trying to

614
00:40:04,960 --> 00:40:07,920
Speaker 1: asreciate your own daughter into your frats. She doesn't want

615
00:40:07,960 --> 00:40:13,400
Speaker 1: to be a part of it, Deac, she doesn't. And

616
00:40:13,480 --> 00:40:17,239
Speaker 1: you're gonna be a grandfather there. I said it. You

617
00:40:17,239 --> 00:40:18,960
Speaker 1: didn't notice when you put her in a bag that

618
00:40:19,080 --> 00:40:25,399
Speaker 1: she seven months pregnant. What do you mean what you're

619
00:40:25,400 --> 00:40:29,319
Speaker 1: trying to do? I'm not gonna graduate. Yeah, maybe maybe

620
00:40:29,440 --> 00:40:32,359
Speaker 1: one of the classes you never took his basic biology? Okay,

621
00:40:32,800 --> 00:40:35,839
Speaker 1: because she's having my child, Oh my god, and we'd

622
00:40:35,880 --> 00:40:37,800
Speaker 1: like you to be a part of our child's life.

623
00:40:38,960 --> 00:40:41,560
Speaker 1: Oh my god. I just can't help but thinking that's

624
00:40:41,560 --> 00:40:44,319
Speaker 1: somewhere along the way that there was a deeper, more

625
00:40:44,360 --> 00:40:51,640
Speaker 1: philosophical deacon there. Uh, bro, you know there's no grampus

626
00:40:51,640 --> 00:40:56,560
Speaker 1: allowed in the frat ship. That's one of the frat

627
00:40:56,600 --> 00:41:00,160
Speaker 1: by laws that you wrote yourself. Deak, Well, then it's

628
00:41:00,200 --> 00:41:08,520
Speaker 1: just that means then I'm not going to be a grandpa, doin.

629
00:41:08,600 --> 00:41:13,279
Speaker 1: I gotta talk to you, Okay, Well, listen, I know

630
00:41:13,320 --> 00:41:15,880
Speaker 1: that I've only had a campus security and I'm not

631
00:41:15,880 --> 00:41:18,480
Speaker 1: supposed to be making any kind of vigilante your arrests

632
00:41:18,600 --> 00:41:21,080
Speaker 1: or anything. But i gotta tell you we've got women

633
00:41:21,160 --> 00:41:24,960
Speaker 1: dropping like flies around this campus. First Clutch Tina, then Alice,

634
00:41:24,960 --> 00:41:27,239
Speaker 1: and people are going missing, people are dying, and and

635
00:41:27,280 --> 00:41:29,959
Speaker 1: no one seems to be given any any cheese about it.

636
00:41:31,160 --> 00:41:34,919
Speaker 1: I want your permission to make some vigilante arrests. And yes,

637
00:41:35,280 --> 00:41:41,000
Speaker 1: I have a taser permission. Granted that was extreme. I

638
00:41:41,080 --> 00:41:43,880
Speaker 1: was ready to come in goneto blazing. I thought you

639
00:41:43,920 --> 00:41:47,879
Speaker 1: were gonna shut me down. No, you can taste up

640
00:41:47,880 --> 00:41:53,040
Speaker 1: to the point of death. WHOA, I gotta thinking of

641
00:41:53,080 --> 00:41:54,839
Speaker 1: the same target? Are we thinking of the same time?

642
00:41:54,880 --> 00:41:56,880
Speaker 1: I mean, I've got to have some investigations to do.

643
00:41:56,960 --> 00:41:58,799
Speaker 1: I mean, I definitely want to make sure that I

644
00:41:58,840 --> 00:42:01,920
Speaker 1: am targeting the right person before I taste to the

645
00:42:01,960 --> 00:42:05,160
Speaker 1: point of death. Knock, knock, knock. I have a special

646
00:42:05,200 --> 00:42:08,279
Speaker 1: delivery for the Dean. Hey, I didn't ask you to

647
00:42:08,400 --> 00:42:11,279
Speaker 1: come in, Deek Deep, what do you mean, I'm just

648
00:42:11,400 --> 00:42:15,560
Speaker 1: a puture delivery guy. Okay, you've got to You've got

649
00:42:15,600 --> 00:42:19,919
Speaker 1: a ridiculous mustache on. It's obviously you. Here's just take

650
00:42:19,960 --> 00:42:30,080
Speaker 1: a bite. Well, I am kind of hungry. Oh come on, Deep,

651
00:42:30,520 --> 00:42:38,680
Speaker 1: I should have noticed the box was right around your waist. Okay, Well,

652
00:42:39,400 --> 00:42:41,560
Speaker 1: this is Mitchell, the head of our campus security. This

653
00:42:41,640 --> 00:42:46,879
Speaker 1: is my my step my stepdad, Deek. Hey, de nice

654
00:42:46,880 --> 00:42:51,400
Speaker 1: to meet you. I'd love to ask you some questions

655
00:42:51,400 --> 00:42:54,560
Speaker 1: once I have my two detectives here. I've I've if

656
00:42:54,600 --> 00:42:57,800
Speaker 1: it's okay with you, Dean, I did outsource some detective

657
00:42:57,800 --> 00:43:00,480
Speaker 1: work because I'm here for the vigilantea right, But I'm

658
00:43:00,480 --> 00:43:04,239
Speaker 1: not here for the actual investigation. That's that's beyond my

659
00:43:04,920 --> 00:43:08,680
Speaker 1: the investigation questions. So we're about ready to just start

660
00:43:08,719 --> 00:43:14,080
Speaker 1: grilling people. Okay, you're the detective. I'm one of them, okay,

661
00:43:14,920 --> 00:43:18,440
Speaker 1: and I'm the other one. So let's start the grilling,

662
00:43:18,640 --> 00:43:22,759
Speaker 1: shall we. All Right, they're here, there's your right now,

663
00:43:22,760 --> 00:43:25,680
Speaker 1: and they're ready to go. Okay, great, can you start

664
00:43:25,719 --> 00:43:29,880
Speaker 1: with this subject right here? Oh geez, what do you say?

665
00:43:30,560 --> 00:43:32,880
Speaker 1: It's just taking a pizza box is what it is.

666
00:43:33,360 --> 00:43:36,360
Speaker 1: It's a dick in a pizza box and a pizza box. Okay,

667
00:43:37,320 --> 00:43:39,759
Speaker 1: that one. Thanks to see if we can see if

668
00:43:39,760 --> 00:43:41,560
Speaker 1: we can ask you a couple of questions they get

669
00:43:41,640 --> 00:43:46,239
Speaker 1: us there. Hey, how did you have to uh to

670
00:43:46,280 --> 00:43:48,759
Speaker 1: get your dick in a pizza box? Well, it took

671
00:43:48,800 --> 00:43:51,640
Speaker 1: a while, but I figured it out. You just cut

672
00:43:51,680 --> 00:44:00,920
Speaker 1: a hole and then you stuff crusted it. Okay, okay, okay,

673
00:44:00,960 --> 00:44:03,640
Speaker 1: I actually have other campus business to get to. By

674
00:44:03,680 --> 00:44:06,319
Speaker 1: the way of my time is taken up with deep

675
00:44:06,360 --> 00:44:09,560
Speaker 1: related issues. Just a moment, sare before you leave? Can

676
00:44:09,600 --> 00:44:13,360
Speaker 1: I ask one question? Did you, in fact how close

677
00:44:13,440 --> 00:44:16,440
Speaker 1: did you get to the penish in the book? Okay?

678
00:44:16,440 --> 00:44:18,920
Speaker 1: First of all, I'm not leaving. This is my office, right.

679
00:44:20,560 --> 00:44:24,200
Speaker 1: I took you literally when you said you had to go. Okay,

680
00:44:24,600 --> 00:44:27,080
Speaker 1: I have to attend to other business. But how close

681
00:44:27,120 --> 00:44:30,600
Speaker 1: did I get? I grabbed it thinking I was grabbing

682
00:44:30,640 --> 00:44:34,680
Speaker 1: a slice of pepperoni. All right, and you've had pepperoni

683
00:44:34,719 --> 00:44:41,000
Speaker 1: pizza pet Yes, yes, I have direct the train here

684
00:44:41,000 --> 00:44:43,080
Speaker 1: because we need to do some investigating about all the

685
00:44:43,120 --> 00:44:46,680
Speaker 1: women who are missing on this campus. I mean, let's listen,

686
00:44:46,840 --> 00:44:49,600
Speaker 1: but listen to listen to what's happening. He grabbed the

687
00:44:49,640 --> 00:44:54,040
Speaker 1: piece of pepperoni that was penichet. That's weird, right, So

688
00:44:54,120 --> 00:44:59,240
Speaker 1: it's it's blamed the victim. Huh wow, I'm to blame

689
00:44:59,520 --> 00:45:01,920
Speaker 1: because I open a pizza box thinking a hot pizza

690
00:45:01,920 --> 00:45:05,560
Speaker 1: body in there. And that's exactly why being a fur

691
00:45:05,680 --> 00:45:10,719
Speaker 1: you so special. Well, yeah, and we really think you'd

692
00:45:10,719 --> 00:45:12,400
Speaker 1: do good to be here. I mean, we have a

693
00:45:12,400 --> 00:45:15,520
Speaker 1: fantastic support system to be able to raise your kid here.

694
00:45:16,680 --> 00:45:18,719
Speaker 1: It's just I've been here for three days now and

695
00:45:18,920 --> 00:45:21,799
Speaker 1: you guys haven't given me any food or anything. Oh,

696
00:45:21,840 --> 00:45:26,759
Speaker 1: we forgot literally literally forgot it intentional. We don't know

697
00:45:26,800 --> 00:45:30,040
Speaker 1: what happened me about your community for so long, and

698
00:45:30,200 --> 00:45:33,520
Speaker 1: I get it now, and you know I'm here. I'm here,

699
00:45:33,840 --> 00:45:39,200
Speaker 1: but I'm hungry. What a what a Pikachu's eat? I mean,

700
00:45:39,200 --> 00:45:43,239
Speaker 1: I know what a wolf eats, I know what a

701
00:45:43,280 --> 00:45:48,200
Speaker 1: lion eats a cat, I don't know what a Pikachu eats. Burritos.

702
00:45:48,280 --> 00:45:52,279
Speaker 1: If you guys have burritos, Pika Pikachu will eat some

703
00:45:53,840 --> 00:45:57,400
Speaker 1: delivers place we can get there. We can get barritos

704
00:45:57,440 --> 00:46:01,800
Speaker 1: in from this. We can do that delivery. Can you guys,

705
00:46:01,800 --> 00:46:09,600
Speaker 1: get a penis pie. Penis pie, Yeah, to pick up.

706
00:46:09,600 --> 00:46:16,359
Speaker 1: This is the doctor's office. Hi, we got the full

707
00:46:16,440 --> 00:46:20,480
Speaker 1: back sample that you sent in. My little stamp on

708
00:46:20,560 --> 00:46:23,640
Speaker 1: there and are addressed on that big leaking bag. Your

709
00:46:23,640 --> 00:46:27,719
Speaker 1: poop looks absolutely fine. By the way, you're clear to

710
00:46:27,760 --> 00:46:30,560
Speaker 1: get the insurance. We were a little bit concerned about

711
00:46:30,600 --> 00:46:35,480
Speaker 1: your Your penis is starting to u good little pepperonious

712
00:46:35,520 --> 00:46:39,680
Speaker 1: looking towards the end. So we don't think there's anything

713
00:46:39,680 --> 00:46:42,360
Speaker 1: to worry about now. But come back in fifteen years,

714
00:46:42,400 --> 00:46:45,080
Speaker 1: maybe when you're a sophomore. We'll take another look at

715
00:46:45,080 --> 00:46:48,879
Speaker 1: that for you. Chill. No, no, I'm not upset about

716
00:46:48,960 --> 00:46:52,200
Speaker 1: it at all. Dec I'm just telling you relaxed, dude. No,

717
00:46:52,320 --> 00:46:56,320
Speaker 1: I'm not upset. I'm just a doctor giving information. I'm

718
00:46:56,320 --> 00:46:59,600
Speaker 1: just then you know you're all clear and good to go.

719
00:47:00,000 --> 00:47:02,720
Speaker 1: I'll never become a doctor when I graduate. I'm probably

720
00:47:02,719 --> 00:47:07,080
Speaker 1: going a skateboarder. Okay, that everybody gets there. I'm very

721
00:47:07,160 --> 00:47:09,440
Speaker 1: indifferent about your future. Deck. I just really need to

722
00:47:09,440 --> 00:47:11,640
Speaker 1: get off the phone right now. Hell yeah, all right,

723
00:47:11,800 --> 00:47:17,160
Speaker 1: I'll come over. No no need to literally, no need.

724
00:47:17,280 --> 00:47:19,440
Speaker 1: This was a phone call. This was like a verbal

725
00:47:19,480 --> 00:47:23,400
Speaker 1: coming over. That you just did good. We'd do you

726
00:47:23,400 --> 00:47:26,719
Speaker 1: want to pick me up? Or well, well, I'll go

727
00:47:26,719 --> 00:47:29,759
Speaker 1: around and say what we're thankful for. I'm sure if

728
00:47:29,800 --> 00:47:36,960
Speaker 1: Alison was here she'd be participating. Uh, but I'm I

729
00:47:37,000 --> 00:47:40,520
Speaker 1: guess I'm thankful for the opportunity to be around uh

730
00:47:41,880 --> 00:47:50,359
Speaker 1: friends and family and uh and in laws and deck

731
00:47:50,440 --> 00:47:54,040
Speaker 1: you want to go. Yeah. First of all, I want

732
00:47:54,040 --> 00:47:56,560
Speaker 1: to say thank you to the High Life for making

733
00:47:56,560 --> 00:48:02,799
Speaker 1: such a badass beer. Second, I want to say I'm

734
00:48:02,840 --> 00:48:06,360
Speaker 1: super thankful that Dean is here. Uh, we're able to

735
00:48:06,400 --> 00:48:09,080
Speaker 1: bury the hatchet for the holidays and stay what we're thankful.

736
00:48:09,120 --> 00:48:11,400
Speaker 1: My name is Jeff, by the way, Dean is my title.

737
00:48:14,360 --> 00:48:20,279
Speaker 1: You've never learned that. Wow? All right? Uh, maybe he's

738
00:48:20,320 --> 00:48:25,160
Speaker 1: had too many highlights. But I am still glad that

739
00:48:26,320 --> 00:48:30,840
Speaker 1: Jin is here and that we're able to hang out

740
00:48:30,640 --> 00:48:32,759
Speaker 1: and do this. And I'm also just want to stay

741
00:48:32,760 --> 00:48:39,920
Speaker 1: from the bottom of my heart that you know I

742
00:48:40,000 --> 00:48:44,080
Speaker 1: really love you, all right, I love you too. I'm

743
00:48:44,080 --> 00:48:53,759
Speaker 1: talking to the high Life. He got deep time. Who

744
00:48:54,960 --> 00:49:01,399
Speaker 1: let's thank all of our come starting with Jackiegnzala. Thank

745
00:49:01,400 --> 00:49:03,160
Speaker 1: you so much, Jackie, right to see you as always

746
00:49:05,440 --> 00:49:10,880
Speaker 1: going direct, folks, any particular place to. I mean, you

747
00:49:10,880 --> 00:49:16,040
Speaker 1: can find me, you can find me, and that's that's

748
00:49:16,080 --> 00:49:20,759
Speaker 1: that's where you can find me right now. Thank you.

749
00:49:20,760 --> 00:49:23,560
Speaker 1: See in the backyard and about twenty James Heeney, thank

750
00:49:23,600 --> 00:49:27,759
Speaker 1: you so damn much. Thank you for thanking me. It's

751
00:49:27,760 --> 00:49:31,719
Speaker 1: been a pleasure. Uh, the real James Heeney on Instagram.

752
00:49:31,760 --> 00:49:35,960
Speaker 1: Go ahead and check it out, and don't forget alchemy

753
00:49:36,040 --> 00:49:40,239
Speaker 1: this pod on Reddit and uh you can find out

754
00:49:40,280 --> 00:49:43,919
Speaker 1: every episode, who's in it, get a little updated there.

755
00:49:43,960 --> 00:49:48,440
Speaker 1: It's really great cool. Thanks sweet sweet reddit plug. Gary,

756
00:49:48,760 --> 00:49:51,279
Speaker 1: thank you so much. Thank you guys, thank you for

757
00:49:51,360 --> 00:49:54,040
Speaker 1: letting me be a part of this on the internet.

758
00:49:54,200 --> 00:49:57,640
Speaker 1: On Instagram at Gary Anthony Williams. I got a new

759
00:49:57,680 --> 00:50:03,239
Speaker 1: cartoon coming up test that call the Harper House. Yeah, yeah, yeah,

760
00:50:03,280 --> 00:50:06,920
Speaker 1: I have a podcast out there because I'm literally I

761
00:50:06,960 --> 00:50:11,960
Speaker 1: think this is the first podcast ever done. It's called

762
00:50:12,320 --> 00:50:17,400
Speaker 1: Day Drinking with Gary and Elliott. Two episodes soon, but

763
00:50:17,520 --> 00:50:20,000
Speaker 1: you can check out some of the archived ones right now.

764
00:50:20,840 --> 00:50:24,520
Speaker 1: Get at it, folks. Craig Kakowski, welcome back to this

765
00:50:24,600 --> 00:50:26,759
Speaker 1: side of the country and so nice to have you.

766
00:50:27,400 --> 00:50:29,080
Speaker 1: It's nice to be in the same time zone again.

767
00:50:30,200 --> 00:50:33,920
Speaker 1: I don't have to learn two times. Uh yeah, at

768
00:50:33,960 --> 00:50:38,120
Speaker 1: Kikowski on Twitter, Seek Kikowski on Instagram. I miss spoke

769
00:50:38,200 --> 00:50:40,520
Speaker 1: last time. I guess I have closer to four thousand followers,

770
00:50:40,560 --> 00:50:48,640
Speaker 1: so thanks. Not too shabby, Joey. You know it. Everyone's

771
00:50:48,680 --> 00:50:50,960
Speaker 1: thinking it, so let's just get to it. I'm on TikTok.

772
00:50:50,960 --> 00:50:52,600
Speaker 1: I've been doing it for a second. I don't know

773
00:50:52,600 --> 00:50:54,000
Speaker 1: how I feel about it. I don't know what it's

774
00:50:54,200 --> 00:50:57,360
Speaker 1: hurting me in, but we'll find out in the coming weeks.

775
00:50:58,280 --> 00:51:00,120
Speaker 1: Check me out of Gobless Jim Chump and I'll so.

776
00:51:00,480 --> 00:51:02,840
Speaker 1: If you really want to know what's going on, Alchemy

777
00:51:02,920 --> 00:51:06,160
Speaker 1: this on Instagram, check it out. Check it out now.

778
00:51:07,160 --> 00:51:10,120
Speaker 1: All right, let's thank our engineering at the stars, Mr Doug.

779
00:51:11,920 --> 00:51:16,759
Speaker 1: Folks that I heard media. It's Kevin Pollock thanking each

780
00:51:16,800 --> 00:51:18,560
Speaker 1: and every damn one. If you please tell everyone you've

781
00:51:18,600 --> 00:51:20,879
Speaker 1: ever met about us, and we look forward to seeing

782
00:51:20,880 --> 00:51:21,719
Speaker 1: you next time on