Speaker 1: Hell. I suck at Dating with the Ungler and Dared
Speaker 1: Haven and I heard radio podcast What's Up Everyone, Welcome
Speaker 1: to a new week of help. I suck at Dating.
Speaker 1: I'm currently lounge John and couch at Kalin's apartment. Probably
Speaker 1: gonna follow a seapack with of the episode because it's
Speaker 1: so comfortable with Jared and I were just talking about
Speaker 1: how it's the comfortable comfortable couch on the face of
Speaker 1: the earth. Well, I'm pretty sure Tanner and Jade have
Speaker 1: that same couch and it is fantastic. I'm currently in
Speaker 1: my mother in law's bedroom, so things are going pretty
Speaker 1: well for me. Why did you move out of the
Speaker 1: office today? Uh? Because the mic was set up here.
Speaker 1: It's it's pretty this is this is the this in
Speaker 1: the office of the best WiFi spots, and I think
Speaker 1: actually just likes recording her podcast in here, and I
Speaker 1: wasn't gonna move the equipment, so here I am. It's
Speaker 1: not that uncomfortable. It's a spacious room. This is the
Speaker 1: room even actually sleeping. No, no, this is my mother
Speaker 1: in law's room. She sleeps here with alone because my
Speaker 1: father in law's quarantine still in the basement because he
Speaker 1: works at the hospital. Uh, you find it. You don't
Speaker 1: find it awkward at all to be in your mother
Speaker 1: in law's bedroom. I did it first, but now being
Speaker 1: quarantined to the house forever two months, I don't feel
Speaker 1: all that uncomfortable. Fine, do you feel more or less
Speaker 1: comfortable that the bed is not made right now? I
Speaker 1: think I'm pretty indifferent about it. I don't know if
Speaker 1: I feel any worse or better. There's something about an
Speaker 1: unmade bed when you walk into the room that you're like,
Speaker 1: someone slept right there. And then when the bed is made,
Speaker 1: you're like, okay, like this is a new it's it's
Speaker 1: a fresh new palette, a new canvas. Just feels a
Speaker 1: little less invasive. I think if you walk into a
Speaker 1: room that's got a made bed, you know, yeah, that's
Speaker 1: that's my that's one man's opinion. Interesting. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't think I've really put too much thought into it.
Speaker 1: But you said you were pretty tired, but you're also
Speaker 1: tired today because you posted on your Instagram that you
Speaker 1: woke up at four thirty in the morning to go golfing. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I take it off at five forty six am today
Speaker 1: for early seat time. I ever, why why not schedule
Speaker 1: a tea time for eleven fifteen in the morning. I
Speaker 1: don't know. One of my buddies too I've been playing
Speaker 1: golf with lately, said hey, this is the only tea
Speaker 1: time they have available. Do you want to do it?
Speaker 1: And I was like, well, I mean I got nothing
Speaker 1: else to do, so sure, golf is like the first
Speaker 1: sports I can part take in with my leg, so
Speaker 1: it's like I want to kind of be doing it often.
Speaker 1: And I mean I figured I could just get around
Speaker 1: and before I could cut came home and podcasting with
Speaker 1: you guys. So it's actually kind of a nice I mean,
Speaker 1: we were the first team out or a first group out,
Speaker 1: so we didn't have to wait for anyone. We finished
Speaker 1: around in under three hours. You know, I think I
Speaker 1: might start teaming off more often. So you're saying it
Speaker 1: was worth it. It was worth team being the first
Speaker 1: people of tea off. It was worth waking up at
Speaker 1: four thirty in the morning, I will say with my
Speaker 1: alarment off at four three in the morning, I was like,
Speaker 1: there's no way I'm going to get out of bed
Speaker 1: and go golfing. And then I like, I snoozed it right.
Speaker 1: I thought that I had snoozed my alarm, but in reality,
Speaker 1: I turned it off, and so I rolled over at
Speaker 1: like four eight, and I was like, wait, it's been
Speaker 1: so long since my alarm went off, I'm probably gonna
Speaker 1: miss the tea time now. I realized that I still
Speaker 1: at times, so I woke up. You're probably just delusional
Speaker 1: because it's four thirty in the morning. You're hallutening. Gosh,
Speaker 1: it was worth Yesterday when I got home from running
Speaker 1: into some errands, I ordered a full Domino's pizza with pepperoni,
Speaker 1: sausage and extra halapanos, and I just smothed the whole
Speaker 1: thing in ranch uh and I ate the whole thing
Speaker 1: in one sitting, literally in twenty minutes. I ate this
Speaker 1: entire pizza that was just covered and all these things.
Speaker 1: And so my my stomach hasn't been feeling well. So
Speaker 1: I woke up that like one am. It's been a
Speaker 1: good thirty minutes in the bathroom. I was like, I
Speaker 1: want to make sure I had up time this morning
Speaker 1: to probably at the bathroom again before I left. So
Speaker 1: it's been you know, it's been an eventful of twenty
Speaker 1: four hours for me. How has Cavin felt about the
Speaker 1: past twenty four hours. Did you wake her up this
Speaker 1: morning she was awake. Yeah. I think I accidentally nudged
Speaker 1: here when I woke up. If I woke up at
Speaker 1: four thirty in the morning to go golfing and woke
Speaker 1: up Ashley, she'd stab me in my sleep. Yeah, I'm
Speaker 1: sure she wasn't pleased. She's just how was it going golfing?
Speaker 1: Did you feel uncomfortable at all? Because now things are
Speaker 1: starting to open up a little bit. Yeah, so the
Speaker 1: way that the golf courses are set up, at least
Speaker 1: the ones that I've been to, it's all you're in
Speaker 1: your own car, you wear a mask the whole time,
Speaker 1: you don't touch the flagstick. You know, you the ball
Speaker 1: doesn't go all the way in, so you know, it's
Speaker 1: still pretty contactless in terms of being around people, which
Speaker 1: is like, you know, it's not any It's probably slightly
Speaker 1: less safe obviously than like staying at home because you're
Speaker 1: not seeing anyone on your home, but it's still it's
Speaker 1: one of the safer activities in my opinion, that you
Speaker 1: could be doing. I don't really feel weird doing it,
Speaker 1: but I could see the argument being made against it.
Speaker 1: But I mean, that's just what seems to be happening.
Speaker 1: Things are slowly opening up. You know, golf, I've been
Speaker 1: golfing for two weeks now. It seems like, uh, there
Speaker 1: was just a NASCAR races past weekend. It was like golf, yes,
Speaker 1: a couple of days ago. Tom Brady practiced with a
Speaker 1: few members of his Tampa Bay Buccaneers today, which was
Speaker 1: a huge step because Florida is starting to reopen, and
Speaker 1: even like I heard yesterday in New York, California, they're
Speaker 1: saying that starting in June, they're going to allow sports
Speaker 1: teams just playing stadiums empty stadiums. But that's obviously a
Speaker 1: huge step. Dude. I just need to step my toe
Speaker 1: back into society. That's what's killing me right now, because
Speaker 1: like the past two and a half months, I've just
Speaker 1: had this mindset of stay home, don't don't be near
Speaker 1: anybody because they all have coronavirus. And I really need
Speaker 1: to get myself out of this mindset. Like yesterday, Ashley
Speaker 1: and I went to go get a mcflury because you know,
Speaker 1: you gotta have you gotta win some battles during COVID nineteen,
Speaker 1: and I like, honestly, in my head, I was like Okay,
Speaker 1: this is a good thing because I'm gonna go I'm
Speaker 1: gonna wear a mask. They'll be wearing a mask. Hit
Speaker 1: my mic uh like go through the drive through, don't
Speaker 1: have a panic attack. And yet still, like when the
Speaker 1: guy was handing it to me, it was like this
Speaker 1: moment of like, Okay, you're just gonna grab it. You're
Speaker 1: gonna be fine. It's gonna be fine. Everything's gonna work out.
Speaker 1: So like I need to start doing more steps like that.
Speaker 1: Which you get Eminem duh, dude, don't tell me you're
Speaker 1: an oreo guy. Don't worry about flavor. Mcclur do you
Speaker 1: like to get I've never had one. You've never had
Speaker 1: a mcflurry? Are you? I guess not? You got that's
Speaker 1: like you know, McDonald's gotta get. I was actually gonna
Speaker 1: ask you, like, what really is a mcflurry? Is it
Speaker 1: just like a milkshake? No? Yeah, it's probably three thousand
Speaker 1: calories in a tiny cup, but it's the most delicious
Speaker 1: thing ever. You've never had a mcflurry. It's vanilla ice
Speaker 1: cream and then it's pretty much vanilla ice cream. You
Speaker 1: can get either Eminem's in it or you can get
Speaker 1: oreos in it. If you're weird, eminem is a way
Speaker 1: to go. It's not just vanilla ice cream. There's some
Speaker 1: sort of special secret sauce that McDonald's does to it.
Speaker 1: It's McDonald's so that it's like vanilla ice cream on steroids,
Speaker 1: you know, Yeah, exactly. I think ice cream is the
Speaker 1: worst dessert you can ever partake in terms of flavor
Speaker 1: or what just health wise. No, it's just like ice
Speaker 1: cream melts, so you really only have like two minutes
Speaker 1: to enjoy that dessert, so you're inhaling it, so you
Speaker 1: don't really get to enjoy it, and then by the
Speaker 1: time you finish it, you're like, I still need more,
Speaker 1: So then you eat like a whole carton and then
Speaker 1: you never feel good about yourself because you ate it
Speaker 1: in like five minutes because it was melting all over
Speaker 1: you and I was getting messy. And then you if
Speaker 1: you're in your car, then you leave your thing in
Speaker 1: the car and then it's just like a puddle of milk.
Speaker 1: It's just like, grab a cookie and be happy with
Speaker 1: your life your ice cream in a car person foremost, Yeah,
Speaker 1: what the hell are you doing with your life? Tori?
Speaker 1: I don't know. I'm a big. I'm with you, Dan,
Speaker 1: I'm a big ice cream guy. Dan. Are you more
Speaker 1: of an Oreo or M and M mcflury guy? I'm
Speaker 1: an Oreo mcflurry guy, like every sain American. Why why
Speaker 1: do you choose Oreo over M and m's Because oreos
Speaker 1: just in general are of a much better flavor than
Speaker 1: M and m's. I also don't like how the M
Speaker 1: and m's like they lose their color when they sit
Speaker 1: in the ice cream for too long? Do you you
Speaker 1: bite into them? So I'm I was saying a little
Speaker 1: little too hard. And then they also are like your
Speaker 1: eye on the inside. It just doesn't It's just not
Speaker 1: a good experience. All right, Well we agree to disagree anyway,
Speaker 1: should we get into like, oh, I don't know dating
Speaker 1: topics or what a problem we have? Any dating topics
Speaker 1: we want to talk about? Say we have a couple
Speaker 1: of things, Well, Tori has one that she really wants
Speaker 1: to talk about. Well, I only send a run down
Speaker 1: the night before, and I read the rundown. I was
Speaker 1: leading Jared into answering the question for the listeners out
Speaker 1: there that haven't read the rundown. Obviously, I've read the
Speaker 1: rundown We're gonna talk about Kate and Mary Kate Olsen
Speaker 1: and her husband who are getting a divorce and she's
Speaker 1: got an iron clad prenuptial agreement with him. And would
Speaker 1: you ever ask someone to sign a preduptual agreement? Jared?
Speaker 1: Did you ask Ashley de sign a prenuptial agreement? Alright?
Speaker 1: Don't never ask you if I didn't read the rundown
Speaker 1: or not. Tori, Okay, I think you just read it
Speaker 1: for the first time. Well, he read the headline, so
Speaker 1: it's not totally. Dean's a headline reader. He's that guy
Speaker 1: who like reads a headline on Twitter and then Regord
Speaker 1: his hates that, like being like, oh, you know what else,
Speaker 1: and then he says the headline click bait where you're like,
Speaker 1: is that true? I did see the head ofline. Mary
Speaker 1: Kay Olson has an ironclad preen up, and I was like,
Speaker 1: I think reading that headline is enough for me to
Speaker 1: not have to read that article. Yeah, so I'll give
Speaker 1: a rundown and then you guys can go off into
Speaker 1: the questions about this. But Mary Kay Olsen and her
Speaker 1: husband Pierre Olive Olivierer, I don't know if that's how
Speaker 1: you say it. Star Cozy are splitting up, and apparently
Speaker 1: Mary Kate's prenup is iron clad and basically he like
Speaker 1: kicked her out of apartment and all this stuff. But
Speaker 1: Ashley Olson has an estimate net worth of five d
Speaker 1: million between them, so she's like, obviously, yes, I have
Speaker 1: a pre nup um and I would just like to know.
Speaker 1: So let's start from the beginning, Ashley Olson. Gosh, Mary
Speaker 1: Kay Olson and her ex have a seventeen year age gap,
Speaker 1: so he's fifty years old and then that makes her
Speaker 1: what thirty? Yeah? Three? Um, have you or would you
Speaker 1: ever date older? Yes? I think you'll be challenging you
Speaker 1: to date someone seventeen years older, But I mean I
Speaker 1: have dated Yeah, well Dean, you're year old. I really
Speaker 1: dating myself on that one. So you so, right now,
Speaker 1: if you were single and you weren't with Kalen, if
Speaker 1: you were to date someone seventeen years older than you,
Speaker 1: you'd be dating someone who's forty six. Do you think
Speaker 1: you could do that? Ah? Man, dude, I don't know.
Speaker 1: Actually that's a tough one. My brother used to date
Speaker 1: a woman who was probably twenty plus years older than
Speaker 1: him and they had a great relationship. I think It
Speaker 1: all depends on what your goals are, like kids, family planning,
Speaker 1: because that really comes into factor when you when you
Speaker 1: think about age. But I could definitely, I I could
Speaker 1: definitely date someone older. When I was in my like
Speaker 1: early to mid twenties, I found it incredibly sexy someone
Speaker 1: who's in like their mid to late thirties. I know
Speaker 1: what's funny about that, too, is you found that sexy.
Speaker 1: And I bet you when you were dating them, they
Speaker 1: found you like, uh, you're like like your spirit uplifting
Speaker 1: and not creepy, but like they're probably, Oh he's young,
Speaker 1: and he's like fun and you know this this energetic guy,
Speaker 1: and like they you guys liked each other for the
Speaker 1: same reasons in a way, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: Guys love older girls. I mean, why do you like
Speaker 1: not to go down this path? But like, Mills are
Speaker 1: a very search a man in his twenties? Is that true?
Speaker 1: I guess I haven't in Google search. Please you? Well,
Speaker 1: I'm sure you were a fan of Mills. I mean
Speaker 1: I'm familiar with the category. Well, let's put it this way.
Speaker 1: Jennifer Gardner is forty eight years old. Dean, could you
Speaker 1: ever date or marry Jennifer Gardner money aside. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: don't think it's really fair to characterize celebrities into that because, yeah,
Speaker 1: Jennifer Gardner, like Rachel Anne, Jennifer Aniston. What did I say,
Speaker 1: Rachel Aniston? Her name I'm friends was Rachel. Yeah. Those
Speaker 1: are like forever young in a sense, and they're they're
Speaker 1: like they're gonna beautiful until the day they die when
Speaker 1: they're ninet, you know what I mean, Just like men
Speaker 1: like Brad Pitt, like Tory, you're twenty four, You could
Speaker 1: date Brad Pitt even though he's like sixty eight, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean. I couldn't, though, really, So hold on,
Speaker 1: you're telling me that if Brad Pitt slid into your
Speaker 1: d M s and said, hey, let's go grab dinner
Speaker 1: on Friday night, you'd say no, I would go to dinner,
Speaker 1: but I couldn't marry him. So what if he wanted
Speaker 1: a second day? And what if he was like, hey,
Speaker 1: I had a really good time. I could see this
Speaker 1: going somewhere. I would date him, but I could not
Speaker 1: marry him. Like you could easily say you date you
Speaker 1: could date somebody older, for sure, but I couldn't never
Speaker 1: marry someone older because could you imagine like being, Hey,
Speaker 1: we're gonna go watch the Super Bowl? What my friend's house,
Speaker 1: and then like bringing him he would be so unentertained
Speaker 1: by our conversation or my life where I was at
Speaker 1: that point compared to him. If you wanted to bring
Speaker 1: Brad Pitt to my super Bowl party, I would take
Speaker 1: that with open arms. I guess the other reservation with
Speaker 1: an ah gap that large is like he's gonna die
Speaker 1: and you're gonna be thirty five and a widow. That
Speaker 1: would be kind of a bummer. But with most age gaps,
Speaker 1: like we see, I'm just trying to think practically here.
Speaker 1: With Mary Kay, it's like, you know, she's seventeen years
Speaker 1: Younger women typically outlive men, so she would be you know,
Speaker 1: let's say the guy lives to be eighty, that's a
Speaker 1: good life. She would be sixty three, And then it's like,
Speaker 1: what does she wanted? She doesn't want to be single
Speaker 1: and sixty three. That's that's kind of like the worst situation.
Speaker 1: You know. Do you view it differently if a man
Speaker 1: dates a younger girl versus a woman dating a younger guy. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think it's a few differently, least by society, the
Speaker 1: guy is dating a younger girl. Sometimes I think that's
Speaker 1: like more expected and it depends how young you go,
Speaker 1: but it could be kind of Stevie. You know, I
Speaker 1: agree for some reason in my head when a got
Speaker 1: older guy, DA's a younger girl, I'm like, uh. And
Speaker 1: then yet if an older girl dates a younger guy,
Speaker 1: I'm like, good for her. Yeah, Exactly why is that?
Speaker 1: I wonder? I have no idea. I think probably because
Speaker 1: as a guy, I just know a guy's mentality, and
Speaker 1: I'm like, you're just going for the young hot girl.
Speaker 1: You're not leave for the emotional connection. Yeah, where a girl,
Speaker 1: a woman, an older woman, it's like going after someone
Speaker 1: who's keeping her young. And I'm like, you know, good
Speaker 1: for you girl. You know you go. I'm probably wrong,
Speaker 1: but for some reason that's immediately where my head goes.
Speaker 1: I mean, though I agree with you, whether it's wrong
Speaker 1: or right, I'm in the same camp, so hopefully it's right.
Speaker 1: Do you think a guy who dates younger, especially like
Speaker 1: ten years or younger, can never have ever starts out
Speaker 1: with pure intentions in dating that person? Of course, how
Speaker 1: long are these two married for? That's the radiation. Let
Speaker 1: me look that up, wasn't it a while? I felt
Speaker 1: like that's true, I guess, And the fact that he
Speaker 1: was willing to sign a prenup means he probably had
Speaker 1: pretty good intentions even going into the marriage. Yeah, but
Speaker 1: I see Tory's point. I feel like, you know, if
Speaker 1: let's say your thirty five and you meet a girl
Speaker 1: who's twenty one, I don't think that you're like, oh,
Speaker 1: this girl is going to be my wife. I think
Speaker 1: you're thinking like, wow, that girl is young and hot
Speaker 1: and I haven't eat seen one of those in a while. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but what if you're like forty eight and she's thirty one?
Speaker 1: That's fine? I think I agree. I view that differently.
Speaker 1: Dating in your twenties is always just like one of
Speaker 1: those things where it's like, Okay, what's gonna happen? Like
Speaker 1: it's kind of especially in your early twenties, right, it's
Speaker 1: always just a crapshoot, like are people seriously dating? Are
Speaker 1: you just dating to get onto the next part of
Speaker 1: your life? It? But then once you get into your thirties,
Speaker 1: it's more serious. I don't know, but that's with that's
Speaker 1: with like, I feel like everybody in their early twenties,
Speaker 1: you know, or early to mid twenties. Whether you're dating
Speaker 1: someone who's also in their early in mid twenties or
Speaker 1: you're dating someone older, it's always that question of like, well,
Speaker 1: how serious can they take it? Uh? And I'm not
Speaker 1: saying it's wrong or right, because I also think there
Speaker 1: are people in their early to mid twenties that can
Speaker 1: settle down early and can be in a relationship. You
Speaker 1: here all the time about high school sweethearts, and it's
Speaker 1: very sweet. But from my own personal opinion, I do
Speaker 1: think it's probably better to get married later in life
Speaker 1: and to experience individuality early on. Let me ask you this,
Speaker 1: I'm twenty nine, klyn is twenty five. Does that make
Speaker 1: me skivie? What a creep? Four years feels twenty six
Speaker 1: in a month? Okay? I think so for for one
Speaker 1: more month, it's a little skibi. But I don't think
Speaker 1: it's at skibi. I don't think there's that much of
Speaker 1: an age difference. Plus your your your personality. Dude, you're
Speaker 1: like twenty five. I don't know if I could take
Speaker 1: this compliment or not. It's funny. There was this kid
Speaker 1: when I was probably when I was getting my skyde
Speaker 1: I've licensed. There was this. Uh, this kid was with us.
Speaker 1: It's like YouTube kid, and he was I think nineteen
Speaker 1: at the time. Uh. And after a couple of days
Speaker 1: of like hanging out and getting our licenses, he goes,
Speaker 1: how old are you? I think it was like twenty
Speaker 1: seven at the time. He goes, oh, that's so much
Speaker 1: older than I thought you were. I thought you're gonna
Speaker 1: be like twenty one. I go, why because I'm like
Speaker 1: so mature, and he goes, no, just because the way
Speaker 1: that you act like you're kind of an idiot. It's
Speaker 1: like I get where we're coming from, though, you know.
Speaker 1: So to jump into the next part of this, So
Speaker 1: they were married for five years and prior to getting married,
Speaker 1: they signed a prenup. What are your thoughts on prenups?
Speaker 1: I could be honest, I don't know exactly what a
Speaker 1: pre nump is, which makes which answers the question if
Speaker 1: I've signed a prenup or not. I'm assuming that that
Speaker 1: means if we ever get divorced, my stuff is my stuff,
Speaker 1: your stuff is your stuff. So it's a prenuptial agreement.
Speaker 1: So it's anything you guys figure out with your assets
Speaker 1: or um. It can even go down to your dog
Speaker 1: and like who your dog goes to if you ever
Speaker 1: got a divorce, So everything is just it's an agreement
Speaker 1: that you make prior to your marriage, and then you
Speaker 1: make it legal with a lawyer. You guys both sign it,
Speaker 1: and then that way, if you ever did divorce, you
Speaker 1: guys kind of disperse it the way you agreed to
Speaker 1: it in the beginning. Whenever I think of a prenuptial agreement,
Speaker 1: I just think of that episode of Seinfeld where George
Speaker 1: is trying to have Susan break up with him, and
Speaker 1: Jerry was like, you know, asked her to sign a
Speaker 1: prenump and then she'll leave you. And then he asked
Speaker 1: her and she laughed in his face and she's like,
Speaker 1: I have way more stuff than you. Yeah, sure I'll
Speaker 1: sign it. Uh yeah, of course, I'm totally down for
Speaker 1: signing a prenump. Why not? Why? I guess why are
Speaker 1: people against it? You think because it sets a bad uh,
Speaker 1: like sets a bad vibe already in the beginning of
Speaker 1: the marriage. I think it kind of it's a bad tone.
Speaker 1: I think the only time at the answer. There are
Speaker 1: plenty of times when they get signed or form many
Speaker 1: different reasons, but I think the main reason is when
Speaker 1: there's a large discrepancy in the earning the earners. So like,
Speaker 1: let's say that girl makes a lot more than the guy.
Speaker 1: It seems like in this case, and it's like such
Speaker 1: a big difference that she's like, I'm just gonna make
Speaker 1: I'm gonna protect my assets here by doing this if
Speaker 1: anything were to go south. I think what the bad
Speaker 1: thing about it is, It's like, by signing a prenuptial agreement,
Speaker 1: you're basically admitting to the idea that divorce is a possibility.
Speaker 1: You know. Yeah, But I feel like, does anybody really
Speaker 1: think divorces a how do I phrase this? Nobody thinks
Speaker 1: they're getting divorce when they get married, but I it's
Speaker 1: it happens all the time. I do think the idea
Speaker 1: that things will never change it might be a little naive.
Speaker 1: And so I'm I'm not against signing a prenup right, Well,
Speaker 1: I think that's like the logical way to look at it.
Speaker 1: But a lot of people, I mean, you do say
Speaker 1: till death do us part, So you're kind of going
Speaker 1: against that by saying, in the event that instead of
Speaker 1: death doing this part, we just want to part on
Speaker 1: our own terms. I want to make sure that I
Speaker 1: have my money. I think that's kind of like the
Speaker 1: underlying issue with it all. It's like, hey, I want
Speaker 1: I love you and I want to get married to you,
Speaker 1: but also if it doesn't work out between us, I
Speaker 1: want to make sure I keep on my money. You
Speaker 1: know what I mean. I personally wouldn't mind. I guess
Speaker 1: I wouldn't mind signing a prenup. I Uh, it's hard
Speaker 1: to put myself in that situation, obviously, because I don't
Speaker 1: even see it. You know, I don't necessarily where my
Speaker 1: life is going. But I don't see why I would
Speaker 1: have any issue signing a prenup. Here here's a question
Speaker 1: for you. Do you think that the person who wants
Speaker 1: to sign a prenup should get married in the first place, Because,
Speaker 1: like you said, if you're taking if you're willing to
Speaker 1: take a vow saying to to death till a part,
Speaker 1: how do you say that I've said it, I don't
Speaker 1: remember it. To death till death do us part, thank
Speaker 1: you till death do us part. Wow. It's been a
Speaker 1: little while actually, in like seven months. Um, but if
Speaker 1: somebody is willing to say that and then right around
Speaker 1: this time saying wow in case it doesn't work out,
Speaker 1: we should sign a prenup. Do you think that person
Speaker 1: should get married? It's a great point, and I think
Speaker 1: that it's it's something even it's something worth talking about.
Speaker 1: I agree with what you're thinking where it's like, why
Speaker 1: are they getting married if they even have an inkling
Speaker 1: or a possibility that it doesn't work out like they
Speaker 1: wanted to. But like I said, it's like, why do
Speaker 1: anything I don't know? I well, let's let's think about
Speaker 1: it like this for a minute. Okay, there's two scenarios
Speaker 1: that kind of popped up in my head. Obviously, you
Speaker 1: don't go in expecting to divorce when you sign a prenup.
Speaker 1: But there is a chance that someone could cheat. So
Speaker 1: let's say you're in a marriage and you're so happy
Speaker 1: and then a guy cheats, decides to leave you, and
Speaker 1: then your left or you know, girl cheats and decides
Speaker 1: just about to say, well, like whoever has Let's say
Speaker 1: like you're married to someone and she cheats on you,
Speaker 1: but she's like the breadwinner of the house, So now
Speaker 1: you're having to adjust your whole lifestyle beca has your
Speaker 1: spouse selfishly decided to leave and now you didn't sign
Speaker 1: a prenup or anything. So they're like, sorry, I'm actually
Speaker 1: in love with this younger stallion and leaves and hop
Speaker 1: ships and now you're like, okay, well I have two
Speaker 1: kids beneath me that now I have to provide for,
Speaker 1: and yeah, there's child support. But what would you do
Speaker 1: in that scenario? You know that that kind of can happen.
Speaker 1: I don't know what I would do in that scenario.
Speaker 1: I guess when you were saying that, my mind started
Speaker 1: drifting off and thinking about what would happen if you
Speaker 1: made if you were the person that was being supported
Speaker 1: in the marriage, the other person cheated, the bread earner
Speaker 1: quote unquote cheated, and then you wanted to get a divorce,
Speaker 1: but you had a prenup sign. So by divorcing that person,
Speaker 1: then you're basically just making yourself broke again. Then what
Speaker 1: do you to do? That's like, I don't know. Situation
Speaker 1: into marriage is just stupid. No one should ever get married.
Speaker 1: Jared Nashley aside, They're going to be the last marriage
Speaker 1: of all time because people you start paying married all together.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I sometimes do, Yeah, so you're sometimes married.
Speaker 1: I'm just getting no. I agree, like listen at the
Speaker 1: end of the day. How I honestly feel about it
Speaker 1: is I think that it's okay to sign a prenup.
Speaker 1: I think it's okay too possibly be aware that things
Speaker 1: might change down the road, that you guys might get divorced,
Speaker 1: as horrible as it is to even think about early
Speaker 1: in the stages of marriage, you know, I'm always the
Speaker 1: type of person that says, just, you know, prepare for
Speaker 1: the worst. That's it. Like, hopefully it never comes to that.
Speaker 1: But if it ever does, like Tori said, God forbid
Speaker 1: something awful happened within your relationship, at least you're somewhat
Speaker 1: prepared for it. So that's my advice. I know we're
Speaker 1: wrapping it, but I would love to know, Jared, why
Speaker 1: you did not sign a prenup or did you and
Speaker 1: actually ever have a conversation about it. We we I
Speaker 1: remember we were talking about it jokingly at one point,
Speaker 1: but I don't think we ever seriously um talked about it,
Speaker 1: which we probably should because once we started, even once
Speaker 1: we really started dating, once we got engaged, we started
Speaker 1: kind of combining our money. Um, and uh, I'm I'm
Speaker 1: saying that's right or wrong. I know a lot of
Speaker 1: couples who uh Lauren married couples to still have separate
Speaker 1: bank accounts. Um, but we just decided to kind of
Speaker 1: like lumps up our money and then move forward together.
Speaker 1: So I guess in that aspect, we probably should sign
Speaker 1: it pre up. I'm pretty sure though, if I asked
Speaker 1: Hashley to sign it right up, I don't know how
Speaker 1: should react. If I seriously asked her, you know what
Speaker 1: we should do? Maybe I should secretly record her while
Speaker 1: I asked the question, and I'm a hundred percent serious
Speaker 1: about it, and see what her true reaction would be
Speaker 1: and then just post it the help I second dating Instagram.
Speaker 1: It's gonna be the exact same castanza moment. She makes
Speaker 1: more money than you, she does, so she probably laughed
Speaker 1: in my face. Yea, give me the papers off sign them. Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1: My company's name is actually Mr Ashley I Incorporated. So
Speaker 1: that just tells you my life it's more wanted than
Speaker 1: me too, So it would be the exact same situation.
Speaker 1: That's awesome. Wait, so let me ask you just just
Speaker 1: a question that's kind of a tangential. So you don't
Speaker 1: have your own bank account anymore, you guys, just every money,
Speaker 1: every dollar you make, it's put into a collective pool.
Speaker 1: Let me sorry, we do have separate bank accounts, but
Speaker 1: we have like she knows what's in mind and I
Speaker 1: know what's hers. So technically we don't have a joint
Speaker 1: bank account. We're not that advanced. I don't think you
Speaker 1: and Kalin do, right, You guys have just joint phone bills,
Speaker 1: phone plans. Now we have a joint bank account. Yeah, really,
Speaker 1: Oh you told me this before. Yes, because then you
Speaker 1: guys put in money for like future vacations and travels
Speaker 1: and stuff like that. Yeah, and uh, like for instance,
Speaker 1: catal in it and I will do like an ad
Speaker 1: for like dog food or something like that. What we
Speaker 1: agreed on was all of that money goes into the
Speaker 1: joint bank account. And like, so Pappy got his teeth
Speaker 1: removed a couple of weeks ago. That surgery was like
Speaker 1: two thousand dollars. Neither of us really paid for that.
Speaker 1: We just used the money that we made for his
Speaker 1: you know, branded post on Instagram for that teeth removal surgery.
Speaker 1: How is Pappy doing after the teeth and removal? Oh
Speaker 1: my god, he's a puppy again, dude. He's readingtting some spunk,
Speaker 1: all those quirkiness is back. He's just running around. He's
Speaker 1: the happy slottle dude over it's the best. And his tongue,
Speaker 1: his tongue limps out of his mouth sometimes too, and
Speaker 1: he's length laying down. It's the funniest thing in the world.
Speaker 1: Could you imagine that, you guys almost didn't keep that dog? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean I could. Calen couldn't imagine that. Calen is
Speaker 1: so attached to that dog. And I mean rightfully, so,
Speaker 1: he's the cutest dog I've ever seen in my life.
Speaker 1: But they definitely have a bit more special of a
Speaker 1: bond than him and I do. I'm just like, I'm
Speaker 1: just like he's like, I'm just like, that's a cute
Speaker 1: little dog, and he's like, hey, that's like a fun
Speaker 1: Harry dude to like pet me every once in a while.
Speaker 1: But in reality they're like the mom and son. Yeah,
Speaker 1: he's a MoMA's boy. He's a MoMA's boyf that's adorable.
Speaker 1: How are the dogs over there doing. They're doing fine,
Speaker 1: They're doing great. Lowis is going to be depressed when
Speaker 1: we get out of here. She's got a huge backyard here,
Speaker 1: she's got a friend in neth. She's loving life. She
Speaker 1: goes on walks multiple times a day. I mean, we
Speaker 1: take her own walks, but the backyard is all the
Speaker 1: difference in the world. She gets to run around, she
Speaker 1: has another dog. There's everybody's home constantly. There's always somebody home.
Speaker 1: So when she when we go back to the apartment
Speaker 1: and we have to leave her alone, she's gonna freak
Speaker 1: and it's quite sad. I feel bad for her. Um,
Speaker 1: But we do have to take a little break. We
Speaker 1: do have some very special guests coming up. So Dean
Speaker 1: and I are gonna play a little game of seven
Speaker 1: minutes in heaven. No, we're not gonna be in the
Speaker 1: closet together, even though that could be fun too, um,
Speaker 1: but we're we're gonna be able to talk about things
Speaker 1: that we want to talk about for seven minutes. And
Speaker 1: I have a guest coming on the podcast. I don't
Speaker 1: know what. Tory and Dean are doing something back and
Speaker 1: forth while I'm trying to be professional here, trying to
Speaker 1: be a pro jer You're so good. These seven minutes
Speaker 1: are so heavenly, Dean. I gotta be honest, if I
Speaker 1: was on a closet with you, I'd probably only last
Speaker 1: about two and a half. Come on, there, he is there,
Speaker 1: he is uh, but we have a special guest coming up.
Speaker 1: He is one of my probably my favorite author of
Speaker 1: all time, Ben Meseric. He's the author of Bitcoin Billionaires
Speaker 1: The Accidental Billionaires, which was the book that Aaron Sorkin
Speaker 1: adapted his screenplay for The Social Network off of. He
Speaker 1: also wrote Bringing Down the House, which was made into
Speaker 1: the movie twenty one, which was obviously a huge cess.
Speaker 1: Ben Mesicks coming on the podcast. I'm super super excited
Speaker 1: to talk to him. Ask him many questions. He has
Speaker 1: a new novella serialized story on the Boston Globe called
Speaker 1: The Mechanic that is out right now that you guys
Speaker 1: can all read. But he's gonna be coming up shortly
Speaker 1: after the break. Dean, what are you gonna be talking
Speaker 1: about for your seven minutes in Heaven? I don't freaking know, Jared,
Speaker 1: but I'll tell you what. You don't want to miss it,
Speaker 1: So sticking around after this break and we'll dive right
Speaker 1: into our four teen minutes in Heaven. All right, we
Speaker 1: are back with more help. I suck at dating. And
Speaker 1: just before we went to break, Jared had mentioned that
Speaker 1: this week we're trying something new. We are both going
Speaker 1: to partake in our seven minutes in Heaven and what
Speaker 1: that means, because it's a weird idea. I think that
Speaker 1: Tory act tore you thought of this idea, right, Oh,
Speaker 1: I wish it was Amy Sugarman. It was Amy Sugarman,
Speaker 1: your Amy. We love her. She's fantastic and talented and
Speaker 1: is very gifted and the things that she does so
Speaker 1: it employs us. So yes, thank you for the paychecks. Um,
Speaker 1: So what the idea is behind this? Essentially, we're going
Speaker 1: to talk about something we're interested in for seven minutes,
Speaker 1: and the essence of the seven minutes in Heaven is
Speaker 1: these are things that we like and so we're gonna
Speaker 1: enjoy talking about them for seven minutes. The challenging thing
Speaker 1: from my perspective is I don't I like a lot
Speaker 1: of things. I don't love a lot of things. I
Speaker 1: don't have very many passions. I've got a lot of interests,
Speaker 1: and so it's like when I talked about this in
Speaker 1: our group chat, it's it's when you're in high school
Speaker 1: or college and the teacher says, I want you to
Speaker 1: write a ten page essay and they don't give you
Speaker 1: something to write about, and then you're racking your brain
Speaker 1: and trying to figure out what you're supposed to write about,
Speaker 1: and you just can't figure that part out. And so
Speaker 1: I've been racking my brain NonStop since we decided we
Speaker 1: were gonna do the seven minutes in Heaven bit, which
Speaker 1: I think partly is Jared's fault, because he has this
Speaker 1: great guest who is going to be coming up in
Speaker 1: a little bit, and Jared and we found a way
Speaker 1: to work that into this podcast, and then that put
Speaker 1: the pressure on me to then think of something to
Speaker 1: talk about for seven minutes. And by the way, I
Speaker 1: started the timer at the top of this whole monologue
Speaker 1: and we're already a minute and a half in, so
Speaker 1: I step in. I was gonna stay all right ready,
Speaker 1: I'm about to set my seven minutes. Dean. You're the
Speaker 1: opposite of me where I don't have that. I mean,
Speaker 1: I have interest, but I don't have that many. But
Speaker 1: the things that I am interested in I'm very passionate about.
Speaker 1: So I could speak a lot. As you guys have
Speaker 1: known from my Rob Thomas tom Brady, you you are
Speaker 1: interested in less things, but you put more into those
Speaker 1: fewer things that you're interested in. I'm a simple mind, really,
Speaker 1: and that's that's great. With the simple mind who needs
Speaker 1: some thing. I think the thing that I wanted to
Speaker 1: talk about during the seven minutes and by the way,
Speaker 1: we only have just under five minutes left. Six minutes.
Speaker 1: Thank you very much for a long time, especially coming
Speaker 1: after the show, coming coming off of the show the
Speaker 1: first time and really realizing that my life was going
Speaker 1: to change pretty greatly. Uh, and in essence kind of
Speaker 1: hit like a lottery ticket, right. I thought about how
Speaker 1: I was going to take a year off of work
Speaker 1: and I was going to pursue the thing that I
Speaker 1: found over that year as my passion and my purpose.
Speaker 1: And a year came and a year went, and I
Speaker 1: wasn't any closer to having that passion or purpose understood.
Speaker 1: And I was always, you know, anxious and stressed out
Speaker 1: about the idea that I wasn't sure what I was doing,
Speaker 1: and I was kind of aimlessly moving through this thing
Speaker 1: that we call life in a in a directionless state,
Speaker 1: and I wasn't going anywhere. While I still am that
Speaker 1: person and I still am doing that thing. Ah, what
Speaker 1: I've came to realize is that there are a lot
Speaker 1: of people that are like that, and that I think
Speaker 1: that we should start as a society kind of preaching
Speaker 1: that that is an okay thing for us to be
Speaker 1: doing and that uh sometimes it takes lack of direction
Speaker 1: and lack of uh not like lack of passions. But
Speaker 1: sometimes you learn a lot about yourself in those moments
Speaker 1: where you don't necessarily know what you're doing. So for me,
Speaker 1: for instance, like I said, you know, I used to
Speaker 1: be a recruiter with a great company here in Los Angeles.
Speaker 1: But once I realized, I guess I didn't have to
Speaker 1: do that quote unquote for the paycheck. I stopped doing
Speaker 1: that because it wasn't my passion and so then I
Speaker 1: started doing other things. But for a while I was
Speaker 1: just doing stupid things like parting with my friends on
Speaker 1: the weekends and I don't know, going on golfing trips
Speaker 1: with my friends. While I still do enjoy golf, I
Speaker 1: don't think that was ever. Remember, it's like kind of
Speaker 1: like a means doing it. I'm like golf, I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna be on the tour. I'm not gonna be a
Speaker 1: tour player at any point in my life. So I
Speaker 1: wasn't necessarily like pursuing my purpose in life in that sense.
Speaker 1: So what I started doing was just doing the things
Speaker 1: that I always thought of about myself. So I started
Speaker 1: rock climbing more, which is, uh, you know, I'm not
Speaker 1: saying I'm passionate about rock climbing, but something I really
Speaker 1: enjoy I like to do a few big trips a year.
Speaker 1: I started, obviously, skydiving, got my license with that, and
Speaker 1: that's something that I've wanted to do ever since I
Speaker 1: was a kid, but I am not passionate about it,
Speaker 1: even though I do thoroughly enjoy it. I started photography
Speaker 1: a lot more, which you know, I really enjoyed that,
Speaker 1: but I wouldn't say I'm passionate about it either. I
Speaker 1: started traveling a lot more, while I'm I guess that's
Speaker 1: probably my passion is travel. But even like in this
Speaker 1: amidst this whole coronavirus shut down, as much as I
Speaker 1: missed travel and I yearned to be traveling, I'm like
Speaker 1: perfectly okay, just like sitting on the couch all day.
Speaker 1: So do I consider travel a passion? I don't know.
Speaker 1: Maybe I'm being too harsh on myself, but my point
Speaker 1: is I want to I guess normalize the idea that
Speaker 1: just because you're not like fulfilling your life's purpose in
Speaker 1: this moment doesn't mean that you won't eventually find it. Like,
Speaker 1: I'm twenty one years old and I have every ounce
Speaker 1: of possibility at my fingertips, but I still haven't found
Speaker 1: out exactly what I need to be doing or should
Speaker 1: be doing, and what I'm working towards, you know, And like,
Speaker 1: while that's terrifying because I feel like I might be
Speaker 1: wasting my time and my breath, it's still kind of
Speaker 1: nice knowing that I'm not in it alone and there
Speaker 1: are millions and millions and millions of other people out
Speaker 1: there as well. So that's kind of like my long
Speaker 1: winded way of saying, just because you don't know what
Speaker 1: you're doing, or where you're going, or what you're working
Speaker 1: for or towards, it doesn't mean that you're doing something wrong.
Speaker 1: It just means that that's gonna come later in life,
Speaker 1: in my opinion. And so now as I'm five minutes
Speaker 1: and fifty seconds into my seven minutes in heaven, but
Speaker 1: let's be honest, before I get to the seven minute market,
Speaker 1: no one lasts seven minutes. Seven minutes is in heaven
Speaker 1: in reality is more like two minutes in heaven, especially
Speaker 1: for high schoolers. So I just wanted to make that clear.
Speaker 1: I wanted last seconds. Uh. And so that's my launch
Speaker 1: feel of I don't have these things that I'm super
Speaker 1: passionate about. While I have my interests in my hobbies
Speaker 1: and of course my relationship with all these things, I
Speaker 1: don't have like this one. I don't have my Rob Tomns.
Speaker 1: I don't have my Tom Brady. I don't have those
Speaker 1: things where I would like, you know, eat, sleep, breathe, bleed,
Speaker 1: and die for because I just think that that's kind
Speaker 1: of my personality is I just don't care deeply about
Speaker 1: a lot of you would. And that's fantastic, and I'm
Speaker 1: envious envious that you care to because that you care
Speaker 1: so much about things like that, because I sometimes struggled too,
Speaker 1: and I think that sometimes it's actually kind of a
Speaker 1: bad thing for me to just be like so nonchalant
Speaker 1: and blase about almost everything in my life. I would
Speaker 1: say like nine point nine, if not a dred percent
Speaker 1: of the things in my life I kind of just
Speaker 1: don't really care about, which is not really the best
Speaker 1: way to be moving through life. So I'm envious of
Speaker 1: your ability to um focus on those passions and interests
Speaker 1: so greatly, but I also want we should be so
Speaker 1: hard on you. But I guess my I certainly don't
Speaker 1: think you should be my purpose, my purpose of this
Speaker 1: whole thing, as I've said earlier in it, as well
Speaker 1: as to tell the people out there that might be
Speaker 1: listening to this that if they are on a kind
Speaker 1: of more on my side of things rather than yours,
Speaker 1: that it's an okay thing to be doing, because it's
Speaker 1: not your responsibility to have it figured out by any
Speaker 1: set of time. It's just, you know, keep focusing on
Speaker 1: the things that you're interested in, and maybe one day
Speaker 1: you'll develop a passion for it, which I'm hoping for myself.
Speaker 1: I and I want to ask you a question about that.
Speaker 1: And also I don't want you to think, or anybody
Speaker 1: to think just because I have passions about things that
Speaker 1: I have things figured out, because I have zero figured
Speaker 1: out my friend uh as Ashley will attest to. But
Speaker 1: my question for you is, and this is something that
Speaker 1: I kind of believe in, do you think life is
Speaker 1: more about uh this grand overall scheme of finding your purpose?
Speaker 1: Or do you think it's just kind of a series
Speaker 1: of moments that you collect and adds up to become
Speaker 1: I mean, I purpose, I personally think that's a collection
Speaker 1: of moments and the randomness of us even being here
Speaker 1: is enough of a reason for us to be content
Speaker 1: with our existence itself. But I do, I do think
Speaker 1: that there is a lot of pressure put on ourselves
Speaker 1: that we put on ourselves and the others put on ourselves.
Speaker 1: You know, Like it's got to be hard for uh,
Speaker 1: like a business major or a communications major to go
Speaker 1: to school graduate and then ste their friends who are
Speaker 1: like nursing majors or doctors or lawyers or scientists, to
Speaker 1: like have this unflinching passion for the thing that they
Speaker 1: chose to focus on when they were eighteen. Because these
Speaker 1: like broad degrees like business and communications. While they're fantastic
Speaker 1: and they take a lot of work, they don't necessarily
Speaker 1: read the same I guess work ethic or like interest
Speaker 1: in like things like sciences and mathematics and like those
Speaker 1: types of things, you know what I mean. So it's like,
Speaker 1: while comparing comparisons are always a bad thing, it's just
Speaker 1: difficult to be like super okay with not necessarily knowing
Speaker 1: exactly what you're doing, you know, but I and I
Speaker 1: completely agree with you. But I would also say that
Speaker 1: those people that make it look like they had everything
Speaker 1: figured out and went to school for something they've always
Speaker 1: wanted to do, and you know, worked very hard and
Speaker 1: now they're there, I firmly believe that at some point,
Speaker 1: or probably still do, they've had doubts about what they've
Speaker 1: been working hard towards. Is it worth it? Is this
Speaker 1: something I want to do. I'm more passionate about that
Speaker 1: I should have done this. Everybody has doubts, you know,
Speaker 1: everybody a second guess as themselves, and so if you're
Speaker 1: second guessing yourself or you're unsure where you're headed or
Speaker 1: what you've been doing, you're not alone. And that's okay.
Speaker 1: And I completely agree with what you're saying. Thanks man,
Speaker 1: I appreciate that. So I hope you guys enjoyed my
Speaker 1: seguments in Heaven. I loved it all, right, welcome back
Speaker 1: to help I suck at dating. We have a very
Speaker 1: special guest who's on the line right now. He's one
Speaker 1: of my favorite authors of all time. He's the author
Speaker 1: bringing Down The House Inside Story, The Six m I
Speaker 1: t students who took down Vegas for millions, which was
Speaker 1: course turned into the hit movie twenty one. He was
Speaker 1: also the writer of The Accidental Billionaires, which was adapted
Speaker 1: into My favorite movie all time to Social Network. He
Speaker 1: wrote The Bitcoin Billionaires, one of my favorite books, and
Speaker 1: now he has a novella serialized story in the Boston
Speaker 1: Globe called The Mechanic Ben Meserric Ben, how are you doing, buddy?
Speaker 1: Thank you so much, awesome, thanks for having me. I'm
Speaker 1: a big fan of you guys as well, So this
Speaker 1: is well to me. This is the closest I'll ever
Speaker 1: get to being on any bachelor franchise, So this is good. Well,
Speaker 1: you've been married for thirteen years. It would be weird
Speaker 1: if it would. It would, but I don't think I
Speaker 1: was likely even before that, So it's it's nice, too
Speaker 1: nice to be here. How long you've been a fan
Speaker 1: of show we have been watching? Um, I would think
Speaker 1: I was good friends with Andrew Firestone. So how far
Speaker 1: back does that go? I mean somewhere in the Yeah,
Speaker 1: I met him. I was already a fan of the
Speaker 1: show for probably three years, and then met him at
Speaker 1: Sundance and became friends with him. Um, so Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: been a long time. I've been watching a Bachelor, Bachelorette,
Speaker 1: all of the different variations. So yeah, it's awesome. Man,
Speaker 1: it's cool. It's great. It's great storytelling. You know, how,
Speaker 1: I don't know how much is produced and how much
Speaker 1: is real. I'm assuming a lot of it is produced.
Speaker 1: But it's the way they capture a story from beginning
Speaker 1: to end. Is is very novel like. So it's cool. Oh, totally,
Speaker 1: it's very It's very real. As you can tell. Both
Speaker 1: Dean and myself are in relationships from it. But uh,
Speaker 1: you know, the producers are there for a reason. They
Speaker 1: make a good television show. But then I wanted to
Speaker 1: talk about the Mechanic first, because that all twenty one
Speaker 1: chapters I believe are already out on the Boston website. Uh,
Speaker 1: and so I've read it. It's an incredible story. It's
Speaker 1: like very uh da Vinci Code like National Treasure. Um.
Speaker 1: But tell us a little bit about the Mechanic and
Speaker 1: why you decided to write a serialized story. And what
Speaker 1: I mean by that is, as about two weeks ago
Speaker 1: when this first came out, you released about two chapters
Speaker 1: a day until the story was completed. Why did you.
Speaker 1: So the Boston Globe came to me, you know, they're
Speaker 1: the big newspaper in Massachusetts, and they asked if, if
Speaker 1: you know, I would be willing to do this. It's
Speaker 1: basically writing a book. In two weeks, you put out
Speaker 1: a chapter, two a night, um, and the whole city
Speaker 1: and basically the whole Anybody who wants to go online
Speaker 1: and read it is a good giant book club. And
Speaker 1: it was also being published in the paper. So it
Speaker 1: started on the cover of the Sunday Globe two weeks ago,
Speaker 1: has run every day for two weeks and just ended
Speaker 1: its run yesterday basically, but um, it's all there online.
Speaker 1: So if you go to Boston Globe dot com you
Speaker 1: can binge read just like a book. Um. And it
Speaker 1: really it's like a National Treasure thriller takes place um
Speaker 1: on the Freedom Trail and the streets of Boston, goes
Speaker 1: back in history to the beginnings of America and American history. Um.
Speaker 1: But it's I wanted to do it because we're all
Speaker 1: sick of all this crazy dark news, Like you pick
Speaker 1: up the newspaper and it's just ugly story after ugly story,
Speaker 1: and it's nice to have a diversion. So anybody who
Speaker 1: was interested in seeing something different in the newspaper was
Speaker 1: able to read it. And it became this huge thing.
Speaker 1: I mean, you know, it ended up being the most
Speaker 1: read thing on the Boston Globe and it's become this
Speaker 1: huge um book club basically. And it was a diversion
Speaker 1: for me. Um. You know, I'm stuck at homes like
Speaker 1: everybody else's and this took my mind off of all
Speaker 1: the all the madness and uh. And it's been just
Speaker 1: a great experience. And I always wanted to write the
Speaker 1: Da Vinci Code. Um, So for me, it's a great
Speaker 1: way of trying to write a thriller like that. Um.
Speaker 1: And it will be a series. I'm doing a sequel now. Yeah,
Speaker 1: would become really into it. We sent it out and
Speaker 1: we're getting all these offers today actually, so it will
Speaker 1: be a movie or a TV show of some sort,
Speaker 1: um and hopefully become a big series. So we'll see
Speaker 1: how it goes. Yeah, that's very exciting. Congratulations do you
Speaker 1: I gotta ask you about Bitcoin Billionaires because that's probably
Speaker 1: my favorite book that you've written, is that Bitcoin Billionaires
Speaker 1: is set up as a movie. Um, we haven't put
Speaker 1: out you know, are any official sort of news about
Speaker 1: who is making it or what. But we were about
Speaker 1: to announce something when all of this craziness went down.
Speaker 1: So when Hollywood faws out a little bit, we're gonna
Speaker 1: make an announcement about that movie. But Bitcoin Billionaires, for
Speaker 1: people who don't know, is the story of the Winklevoss
Speaker 1: twins and their rise um from being the bad guys
Speaker 1: in the social network to who they are today, which
Speaker 1: is there worth billions of dollars. They owned two hundred
Speaker 1: thousand bitcoin and a single bitcoin is now worth almost
Speaker 1: ten thousand dollars, so they've got a couple of billion
Speaker 1: in bitcoin um and it makes you rethink who they
Speaker 1: are because in the social network they were the big
Speaker 1: dumb jocks who were rowing their way and you know,
Speaker 1: Mark Zuckerberg was the evil nerd and that was the battle.
Speaker 1: But the reality is is very different and now Mark
Speaker 1: Zuckerberg is kind of evil and the twins have become
Speaker 1: these revolutionaries in this new form of money. So it's
Speaker 1: a cool story, and we are going to make the
Speaker 1: movie um as soon as everything you know gets back
Speaker 1: to filming. Yeah that's saying obviously. So you know, the
Speaker 1: army would be awesome. You know, there's only a few
Speaker 1: people out there who could play the Winklebox twins. Um.
Speaker 1: You know, you've got to be big and in shape,
Speaker 1: but also really be able to come across as smart
Speaker 1: and and there's also the sort of I mean they're
Speaker 1: you know, they're the like Greek God's kind of I
Speaker 1: mean they walk on yeah, and you're playing an army.
Speaker 1: Army Hammer did it very very well, so we would
Speaker 1: love to see Army doing it again, but it's gonna
Speaker 1: depend on who the director is, what the script looks like,
Speaker 1: and Army. Since the Social Network has done so many
Speaker 1: great films, Um, he's really grown into a great actors,
Speaker 1: So I would love to see this. Um. But the
Speaker 1: winkle Fire or not who you think they are. And
Speaker 1: that's kind of what's cool about this story is they're
Speaker 1: not the dumb jocks. You know, they're not just the
Speaker 1: men of Harvard. These are guys who studied economics. There's
Speaker 1: guys who speak five languages. Um, you know, their Olympic rowers,
Speaker 1: so they have the ability to train and stuff like that.
Speaker 1: But they're they're really smart guys. So it's it's a
Speaker 1: it's an interesting sort of way of looking at them again. Now,
Speaker 1: what got me into your books was actually the social
Speaker 1: network because for some reason I am fascinated with the
Speaker 1: entire story of Facebook. And so then after I saw
Speaker 1: the movie, I read your book and then that led
Speaker 1: me to bring you know, read Bringing Down the House
Speaker 1: and Bitcoin Billionaires, and now reading Straight Flus, which is
Speaker 1: I I love it. I'm about halfway through right now.
Speaker 1: You write so many books about what I deem such
Speaker 1: cool things, whether it be Bitcoin, technology, uh, Facebook, card counting?
Speaker 1: What is it about those things that makes you want
Speaker 1: to write about? So I'm really into people who are
Speaker 1: kind of going against authority in one way of another,
Speaker 1: and not like criminals, you know, but people who are
Speaker 1: using their brains or abilities to beat the system. That's
Speaker 1: always the kind of story I look for. So people
Speaker 1: who kind of think outside the box. They're not, you know,
Speaker 1: just getting a job and going forward, but they come
Speaker 1: up with an idea like Facebook, or they find this
Speaker 1: secret world like card counting and they hit Vegas and
Speaker 1: made millions. Straight Flush is about a group of college
Speaker 1: kids who figured out online game and they've created an
Speaker 1: online poker site. Before you know today that's normal, but
Speaker 1: back when they did it, this was a brand new thing.
Speaker 1: It wasn't necessarily legal, and they moved to Costa Rica
Speaker 1: with their fraternity to try and create this thing. And
Speaker 1: I love these people are making millions of dollars a
Speaker 1: day doing something crazy and a little shady sometimes, but
Speaker 1: the fun of it is the sort of adventure of
Speaker 1: of of changing the world, you know, just using your
Speaker 1: brain or or some sort of skill set or something
Speaker 1: like that. It's just, you know, I live vicariously through
Speaker 1: these characters, um, which you know, I want my readers
Speaker 1: so do I, which is why I look. You can
Speaker 1: dive inside and you know you were let's hit Vegas.
Speaker 1: But in real life, if I go hit Vegas, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna get clawber. But but when you read the book,
Speaker 1: you know, you see people who actually did it, and
Speaker 1: these are all true stories, which is kind of what's
Speaker 1: what's cool about them. So yeah, I get pitches, you know,
Speaker 1: people just send me stories and I look through them
Speaker 1: and try and find characters who've really done something unreal,
Speaker 1: you know, and follow them around. Well, if you ever
Speaker 1: want to write a book about two reality TV has beens,
Speaker 1: you got your people right there, you know. I I
Speaker 1: there's definitely a story in that. But hopefully you guys
Speaker 1: don't end up in jail like doing when you take
Speaker 1: down some big thing like Vegas. I'm gonna be there
Speaker 1: and follow that story for sure. But yeah, I mean,
Speaker 1: you know, you never know where the story is gonna
Speaker 1: come from. Um, the Zuckerberg story. You know, when I
Speaker 1: wrote that, it's two thousand and seven. Facebook was not
Speaker 1: in all of our lives yet. It was really just
Speaker 1: getting started. But there was this crazy drama between Mark
Speaker 1: and Eduardo and the Winkleby twins. You couldn't invent those
Speaker 1: guys if you wanted to. That whole scenario of them
Speaker 1: battling for something that became a multi billion dollar company.
Speaker 1: It's it's really intense. Um. So you know that came
Speaker 1: out of nowhere to me, and you never know where
Speaker 1: these stories are gonna come from. Oh no, it's it's fascinating.
Speaker 1: Like you said, I love your book so much because
Speaker 1: I also live vicariously through your through your characters, because
Speaker 1: I would never have the balls to do those things,
Speaker 1: but I want to so badly, Like I want to
Speaker 1: be the person like even like Zuckerberg early in the
Speaker 1: days where like he just god, he was so focused
Speaker 1: on getting Facebook to be this huge successful company, um
Speaker 1: and nothing was going to stop in his way. And
Speaker 1: I just envy that so much. And also a fun
Speaker 1: story about you is that you put yourself through these
Speaker 1: weird scenarios, even I'm not saying on lawful scenarios, but
Speaker 1: like I heard a story about you because you wanted
Speaker 1: to immerse yourself into what your characters went through. You
Speaker 1: smuggled and you write it in the book and bringing
Speaker 1: down the house, you smuggled like two hulls to the
Speaker 1: airport or something like that. Technically it's it's not illegal
Speaker 1: to move your own money through an airport. However, if
Speaker 1: you get caught by the T s A with a
Speaker 1: couple hundred thousand dollars in an adult bag, it it
Speaker 1: looks really bad and you will probably end up in
Speaker 1: handcuffs at some point. So you know, to be a
Speaker 1: to feel like I was in the story, I would
Speaker 1: carry money with the M T. Black Jack team and
Speaker 1: you go through Usually you carry a lot of it
Speaker 1: in chips because the T s A doesn't know that
Speaker 1: chips or money, you know, they just think you're going
Speaker 1: to a poker game or something. But you would wear
Speaker 1: velcro and this was you have to remember. Today's security
Speaker 1: is a lot different than it was when I wrote
Speaker 1: Bringing Down the House. But you used to be able
Speaker 1: to wear money belts and you could put money in
Speaker 1: your pant legs and you could you would carry money
Speaker 1: all over yourself, like the Michelin man and you go
Speaker 1: to Vegas and you go to the bathroom and you
Speaker 1: would trade money out from you know, under under the
Speaker 1: stalls in the bathroom and things like that. So it's
Speaker 1: like it's like method writing. You know, actors are method acting.
Speaker 1: I'm a method writer. So I dive inside whatever the
Speaker 1: story is and uh and try and figure it out,
Speaker 1: you know, from the inside. Um, that's what's fun about writing.
Speaker 1: Writing itself is not fun, you know, sitting in a
Speaker 1: room for eight hours a day for three months is
Speaker 1: the least fun you could possibly have. But researching the
Speaker 1: stories and following these characters around, and you know, I
Speaker 1: wrote Bringing Down the House in Vegas over fourteen days,
Speaker 1: literally staying in a different casino every night with the
Speaker 1: M I. T. Black Check team, and you know, those
Speaker 1: are experiences that really are just awesome as a writer
Speaker 1: to be able to have. So do you get writer's
Speaker 1: I never have writer's block, So a writer's block to
Speaker 1: me is, um, you're not writing the right thing often,
Speaker 1: or or you started in the wrong place. Usually you
Speaker 1: have to go backwards. I have all these tricks and
Speaker 1: systems and things like that to get around stalling. Um So,
Speaker 1: I don't have writer's block once I start a project.
Speaker 1: It's between projects. Often I'm searching for the right story.
Speaker 1: So months can go by when you're watching Stay by
Speaker 1: the Bell over and over again. But uh, but you know,
Speaker 1: once you like figure out a story that really is
Speaker 1: compelling and crazy, I dive in and I write it
Speaker 1: like the you know, the Mechanic for instance, literally wrote
Speaker 1: in two weeks because it was we're putting chapters up
Speaker 1: every night in the globe. So that kind of thing
Speaker 1: you can't install. You know, if you stall, all things
Speaker 1: gonna fall apart. And and so I write very quickly
Speaker 1: and there's no chance of that happening. It's about choosing
Speaker 1: the right story and finding the right characters and seeing yourself.
Speaker 1: I'm very cinematic, so I'm basically writing movies as books.
Speaker 1: Um So I actually sell the movie before I write
Speaker 1: the book. I write a fourteen page treatment. Um So
Speaker 1: it's basically I tell the story in fourteen pages. I
Speaker 1: take it out to Hollywood. I landed some studios somewhere.
Speaker 1: Then I write, then I sell the book, and then
Speaker 1: I write the book. So I already know when I'm
Speaker 1: writing the book there's at least the potential of a movie.
Speaker 1: So I'm thinking of it with actors in mind. I'm
Speaker 1: really writing the book thinking it through like that. Um,
Speaker 1: and that makes it a lot more fun. I love
Speaker 1: that because that's probably why I love your book so much,
Speaker 1: because they are so dramatic and cinematic, and I as
Speaker 1: a movie buff, I I love it. So last question
Speaker 1: before you go, Um, this is a dating podcast. You've
Speaker 1: been married for thirteen years, so so tell us wait,
Speaker 1: of course please, we'd love to hear from time. Yeah,
Speaker 1: tiens here this is hi entity and uh, she's way
Speaker 1: out of my lead. So it's as if I went
Speaker 1: on the Bachelor and I won somehow by you hypnotism
Speaker 1: or one of these little skill set um tiny and
Speaker 1: I we dated for a couple of years, a number
Speaker 1: of years before we got married, and I was never great.
Speaker 1: I'm sure you guys had a much easier high school
Speaker 1: and college experience night and dating. I don't know. I
Speaker 1: would be amazed. But I was never that good at it.
Speaker 1: Um and uh, but I was persistent. I think persistence
Speaker 1: is the key, right yeah, uh, just yes, I mean,
Speaker 1: as Ashley's husband, I could persistance is key. Um. But
Speaker 1: my question for you guys before you go is just
Speaker 1: you have one piece of advice for the listeners out
Speaker 1: there about how to keep a marriage going after third while,
Speaker 1: how to keep the marriage going after years, separate bathrooms,
Speaker 1: I mean the whole thing. When I got married, and
Speaker 1: people say this to everyone gets married, you know, happy wife,
Speaker 1: happy life. And the reality is the happier she is,
Speaker 1: the happier you will be. And so if you attempt
Speaker 1: to make yourself happy, it's never gonna work if she's
Speaker 1: not happy. So you really do have to make allowances
Speaker 1: for that daily and uh, you know, it's like keeping
Speaker 1: a plant happy, right, you gotta water every days. Great handbags,
Speaker 1: it helps, it helps. But no, honestly, I think you
Speaker 1: need to pick the right person. I think that that
Speaker 1: is the key to this whole thing, like, um, you know,
Speaker 1: even if it takes too longer to get there. Um,
Speaker 1: you know, I'm telling you to people on the Bachelor
Speaker 1: who have to do this in how many episodes. But
Speaker 1: the reality is rushing in isn't isn't necessarily the best answer.
Speaker 1: It's it's finding that person who really works with you,
Speaker 1: and you have to be partners. So when you're dating someone,
Speaker 1: I think you should be thinking about if you're thinking
Speaker 1: long term, is this person going to be a partner?
Speaker 1: Like all the off is that I know are incredibly
Speaker 1: jealous of of what she does for my career. I
Speaker 1: would be in sweatpants, sitting in a room twenty four
Speaker 1: hours a day and have never had the career that
Speaker 1: I had. Um Tanya is the one who makes sure
Speaker 1: that I'm out there and my book is out there.
Speaker 1: And so having a partner who is your secret weapon
Speaker 1: is really key, both for women and for men. Think
Speaker 1: of that person as that's a partner. It's not someone
Speaker 1: you know. There you have to be a pair and
Speaker 1: everything I think so it works for us, you know,
Speaker 1: I think that's awesome advice and and and Ben and Tanya.
Speaker 1: I I can't thank you enough for coming on the podcast.
Speaker 1: Re appreciate it U to all the listeners out there,
Speaker 1: go check out The Mechanic. It is currently on the
Speaker 1: Boston Globe right now. You can subscribe. I subscribed. Uh,
Speaker 1: it's four dollars for the whole month. So check out
Speaker 1: the Mechanic. All twenty one chapters are on there right now.
Speaker 1: It's an incredible story, very national treasure esque. Um. And
Speaker 1: then also check out Bitcoin Billionaires, which was you can
Speaker 1: kind of like a sequel to The Accidental Billionaires about
Speaker 1: the Winklevoss twins getting into bitcoin very early. It's fascinating,
Speaker 1: especially in today's world, learning more and more about bitcoins.
Speaker 1: So check those out. You can get that Amazon anywhere
Speaker 1: you buy books. Really. Um and Ben again, thanks, thank you.
Speaker 1: You're fans, so I'm excited to be here. Thank you
Speaker 1: very much. All Right, we're back from a break. Jared,
Speaker 1: how was that for you? Because you are obviously a
Speaker 1: huge fan. I'm a big fan, so I admittedly have
Speaker 1: never read any of his books, but I'm a big
Speaker 1: fan of the movie Renditions obviously twenty one and Social
Speaker 1: Network are two huge movies. A fan of those. So
Speaker 1: what was it like for you to be able to
Speaker 1: talk to a guy that you, you know, I've admire
Speaker 1: so much, Dude, it was awesome. He's super nice and
Speaker 1: I've seen a lot of interviews with him and it's
Speaker 1: funny because the picture, like his author picture that's always
Speaker 1: on his book is like him with a leather jacket
Speaker 1: and glasses, and he's got like an interesting look to him,
Speaker 1: and you're like, is this guy like? What is this
Speaker 1: guy like? And so it's so awesome meeting him and
Speaker 1: just realizing that he's so down to earth and super
Speaker 1: just like a normal du and uh, it's it's so
Speaker 1: funny that he's a Bachelor fan. You never know who
Speaker 1: watches the freaking show, Like what a fan of somebody
Speaker 1: that I've been a fan of for so long watches
Speaker 1: the show knows who I am, and like things like
Speaker 1: this are able to happen because of that, and it's
Speaker 1: freaking the coolest thing. Man. But like I remember watching
Speaker 1: The Social Network. I watched it in Boston the weekend
Speaker 1: it came out, and like, I wasn't into Facebook. I
Speaker 1: wasn't a big social media guy, and I was like,
Speaker 1: I we'll see I walked to that theater and I
Speaker 1: love that movie so much. Uh, And obviously read the
Speaker 1: accents of the Billionaires, which he wrote in The Bitcoin Billionaires,
Speaker 1: which is like somewhat of a sequel. I even I
Speaker 1: just recently read over this quarantine book called The Facebook Effect,
Speaker 1: which is literally marketed as the true story to the
Speaker 1: social network. Uh, with interviews from it's mostly like an
Speaker 1: interview from Mark Zuckerberg that this guy wrote about. But dude,
Speaker 1: it's it's fast. He's a great writer, and like he said,
Speaker 1: he writes everything cinematically, so it does feel very um
Speaker 1: uh dramatic while reading the book, which I love because
Speaker 1: the stakes are high, and he writes about things that
Speaker 1: are are in my mind the coolest things, like I said,
Speaker 1: card counting and poker and and bitcoin and technology and
Speaker 1: social media things that I am captivated by. So it
Speaker 1: was it was cool, man, it was so cool. Like
Speaker 1: that dude, that dude right there wrote a book that
Speaker 1: Aaron Sorkin and David Fincher created a screenplay off of
Speaker 1: and got nominated for Best Picture. Like that's to say,
Speaker 1: it's funny with it must be incredible to write a
Speaker 1: book basically knowing that it's going to be made into
Speaker 1: a movie like he did Thick Bitcoin Billionaires. He's like, well,
Speaker 1: there is nothing to announce yet, but there I wrote it.
Speaker 1: Uh what does he say? Cinematically? And so it's basically
Speaker 1: guaranteed to be made into a movie. Like, that's just
Speaker 1: pretty crazy thing I think about. That's awesome. But yeah,
Speaker 1: so it wasn't about dating. So I apologized saw the
Speaker 1: audience members all the listeners that it wasn't really that
Speaker 1: much about dating. But at the same time, it was
Speaker 1: really cool and I hope everybody listened found it very
Speaker 1: interesting and engaging and and something different. And sorry I
Speaker 1: went over seven that. Heavenly you had it last as
Speaker 1: long as you could. I can get it. Man, Hey,
Speaker 1: should we do it an email before we before we
Speaker 1: say goodbye for this week? Yes, obviously, definitely, most certainly
Speaker 1: the best part. Please keep your emails coming. Okay, I
Speaker 1: love that enthusiasm. Atti you Well, this one kind of
Speaker 1: sounds similar to what we talked about last week. Essentially,
Speaker 1: what's happened is this girl is dating a guy for
Speaker 1: they've been dating for one and a half years. It's
Speaker 1: from Samantha. They're temporarily doing long distance, but her boyfriend
Speaker 1: is a big surfer and once not too long ago,
Speaker 1: while he was surfing, he met a girl who was
Speaker 1: surfing by herself. She asked for his Instagram handle. She
Speaker 1: then d m him uh later on and asked if
Speaker 1: he would like to go surfing with her. This guy
Speaker 1: the whole time has made clear that his a girlfriend.
Speaker 1: He even told his girlfriend who is our emailer, that
Speaker 1: you know, he met this girl who was just wanting
Speaker 1: to surf, and now she's sitting him up to surf again,
Speaker 1: just them too. Um, her question is where And Samantha
Speaker 1: said in the moment that it was fine for him
Speaker 1: to do this, to meet up with this girl to
Speaker 1: surf with her. However, she's not sure how to feel
Speaker 1: about it now, so she's asking us, Jared, do we
Speaker 1: think it's appropriate for someone in a relationship to hang
Speaker 1: with someone of the opposite sex alone? And on the
Speaker 1: flip side of it, would it be appropriate for someone
Speaker 1: to tell their significant miller to hang out with someone
Speaker 1: of the opposite sex. So I guess to to kind
Speaker 1: of put it all and together quickly, because we talked
Speaker 1: about this last week a little bit. But this is
Speaker 1: a different situation because it's not like a friend who
Speaker 1: was kind of grandfather been before. It's it's someone that
Speaker 1: they've met recently that's asking to hang out one on one.
Speaker 1: What do you think about it? It's a great area. Uh.
Speaker 1: I think what it comes down to is making sure
Speaker 1: that You're significant other is friends with this person. That's
Speaker 1: like the main the main purpose here what I'm getting behind. Like,
Speaker 1: for example, everybody says like, oh, Jared, you have a
Speaker 1: best friend that's a girl. I'm like, yeah, but her
Speaker 1: and Ashley now are like best friends and she sees
Speaker 1: our dynamic and how it's brother and sister. Like, So
Speaker 1: this significant other, Samantha needs to hang out with this
Speaker 1: girl and the boyfriend at the same time. The boyfriend
Speaker 1: needs like overcompensate during the moment and be like, Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm always gonna have my arm around you. I'm always
Speaker 1: gonna be holding your hand. I'm gonna show that like
Speaker 1: I love you. You're the girl for me. This other
Speaker 1: person is just a friend, and then maybe you can
Speaker 1: start feeling comfortable about it. But until that happens, then
Speaker 1: I don't know. I gotta say I disagree with you
Speaker 1: on this one. So I think in the sense of
Speaker 1: them hanging out, it's totally okay for them to do.
Speaker 1: If every time they hang out there surfing, If it's like, hey,
Speaker 1: come lord to my house and watch a movie, probably
Speaker 1: not gonna fly. But if they met surfing, they have
Speaker 1: a shared interest that is surfing it's better to surf
Speaker 1: with a brand and then just to surf alone. So
Speaker 1: I don't see the harm and like, hey, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: go surfing with this person, Like okay. So, and maybe
Speaker 1: the reason I'm justifying it this way is because sometimes
Speaker 1: I'll get d m s from girls with But it's
Speaker 1: obviously we get ms from girls, right, it's a very
Speaker 1: well known fact that we're both in relationships. But sometimes
Speaker 1: people who are like interested in rock climbing or like
Speaker 1: I remember after Paradise was done filming, this girl was like, Hey,
Speaker 1: I live up in Seattle. If you ever up in
Speaker 1: the area, let's go rock climbing or something like that.
Speaker 1: If I'm by myself and I want to go rock climbing,
Speaker 1: like you need a partner to rock climb with. So
Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, I'm gonna hang out with this person
Speaker 1: in the rock climb, you know what I mean. So
Speaker 1: I think if you have like a shared interest in
Speaker 1: this case it's surfing, in my case would be rock
Speaker 1: climbing or scott diving or whatever it might be, I
Speaker 1: think it's totally okay. But I don't think that if
Speaker 1: you ever Stamantha, if you ever hear your boyfriend and
Speaker 1: say something like, Hey, this girl is gonna come over
Speaker 1: and watch a movie with me. That's the red flag
Speaker 1: and that's cause for concern. But in the ace of surfing,
Speaker 1: I don't think it's a big deal at all. I agree,
Speaker 1: if it escalates, you have a big problem. My only
Speaker 1: concern with what you're saying is like Samantha, being a
Speaker 1: significant other has to trust that that other girl doesn't
Speaker 1: have all. I don't think it's about the other girl
Speaker 1: at all. I think it's just about her boyfriend. If
Speaker 1: her boyfriend, can she trust her boyfriend or not? You
Speaker 1: know what I mean? Like for instance, again, I can
Speaker 1: only do. All I can do is relate it back
Speaker 1: to my scenarios, Like I know that I would never
Speaker 1: do anything with any girl other than Kaylin, so I
Speaker 1: don't have any interest. And you're like, yeah, let's go rock.
Speaker 1: If this guy is and on his girlfriend, who for
Speaker 1: for the record, they've been dating long with than Kaylin
Speaker 1: and I have, then he has not even a single
Speaker 1: desire to do anything that's you know, considered uh, promiscuous
Speaker 1: or whatever. So if she has a reason to believe
Speaker 1: that she should be uncomfortable, then maybe there's something underlying there,
Speaker 1: But I personally, I don't think that it's an issue.
Speaker 1: Let me ask you that what is what is calin
Speaker 1: like doing? What's like one of her hos ukulele? Okay,
Speaker 1: So what if some dude, random dude DMR and said, hey, listen,
Speaker 1: I know your relationship. I just want I also play
Speaker 1: the ukulele, and I'd love to learn side by side
Speaker 1: so we can kind of get better at this together.
Speaker 1: Would you mind if like we go to a public place,
Speaker 1: like it could be a coffee shop, whatever, and we
Speaker 1: just kind of like go back and forth and learn
Speaker 1: how to play the ukulele. I see what you're doing.
Speaker 1: I gotta say that's a little bit of different in
Speaker 1: a situation, but I would be totally okay with it.
Speaker 1: I don't see why not. Like again, I have full
Speaker 1: and utter, to the utmost trust, more than I could
Speaker 1: trust anyone else in the world. With Kalin, I know
Speaker 1: that she would never do anything to hurt me physically
Speaker 1: or emotionally. So I would have no issue with their
Speaker 1: going to a coffee shop with a guy to play
Speaker 1: the ukulele because I know that her intention is to
Speaker 1: improve with the ukulele and to have someone to work
Speaker 1: on that way and not to hook up with anyone else,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. I think for me, it's
Speaker 1: not so much of trusting as it is a jealousy thing.
Speaker 1: And maybe I'm just a jealous guy and that's not
Speaker 1: a healthy habit to have. But if, like if if
Speaker 1: Ashley was going like weekly with this other dude that
Speaker 1: I didn't really know or didn't know at all, to
Speaker 1: like do something that she's very passionate about, It's not like, no,
Speaker 1: I trust you, I just don't trust them, and and
Speaker 1: it just makes me jealous, that's all. Like, Nah, Navy,
Speaker 1: I'm not saying I would tell her not to do it,
Speaker 1: But if it became like a weekly thing and I
Speaker 1: did not know the person, I'd be like, I don't
Speaker 1: know how comfortable I feel about this. Not that I
Speaker 1: don't trust you, but that dude could go no. I
Speaker 1: guess that makes sense too. I don't know. I don't
Speaker 1: know in the world of like surfing and doing like
Speaker 1: these activities outside that are like less intimate and more
Speaker 1: about the experience than they are about the company. Is
Speaker 1: surfing like going to a coffee shop, like playing you
Speaker 1: It's like it's a hobby. I don't know. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't think it's an issue, but like, yeah, I
Speaker 1: think we're on the same page. But with saying hang
Speaker 1: out with them, see if you what's long distance? I
Speaker 1: guess you can't hang out with them at the time,
Speaker 1: but I don't think that you should, okay. And here's
Speaker 1: another example. If Caitlin was like, look, I don't want
Speaker 1: you to meet up with that person or rock climb,
Speaker 1: I would kind of be like, well, what's the deal.
Speaker 1: You don't trust me, or like you don't want me
Speaker 1: to like go do this, Like I don't understand, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean? Yeah, And you know what sucks
Speaker 1: about the social distancing right now? You're right because she
Speaker 1: even says in the email that I forgot about that
Speaker 1: they're doing long distance right now because of the pandemic,
Speaker 1: and that would that would cause that would cause some
Speaker 1: moneyase on my end, because then the person that you're
Speaker 1: you're dating, you're not only not hanging out with them,
Speaker 1: but they're actively hanging out with another girl. And while
Speaker 1: you trust them, it's just like this this little small
Speaker 1: voice in the back of your head being like, don't
Speaker 1: let them do it like that. This is not good.
Speaker 1: This is not good. Uh so it's hard, it's it's
Speaker 1: it's not easy. Relationships aren't easy between jealousy and and uh,
Speaker 1: it's it's very complicated. So I wish we had a
Speaker 1: better answer for I see, if you asked me the
Speaker 1: same question shin like two or three years ago, or
Speaker 1: for you know, however long ago, probably even any time
Speaker 1: before my current relationship, I would say, it's okay for
Speaker 1: you to be like a little worried about it, but now,
Speaker 1: like I've never I guess I hate making this all
Speaker 1: about me, but like I'm in a relationship now, more
Speaker 1: than more comfortable in this relationship than I've ever happen before.
Speaker 1: So my mindset is always like, yeah, do the thing
Speaker 1: that makes you happy. I don't you know. If I
Speaker 1: can do it with you all, I will, But if
Speaker 1: I can't, I want you to be able to do
Speaker 1: it with other people that should that same interest as
Speaker 1: you used to go do that. And it's just like
Speaker 1: a level of trust for me now is I've never
Speaker 1: what I've never had before. So hopefully Samantha can have
Speaker 1: that with her boyfriend without having to feel guilty for
Speaker 1: telling him not to hang out with someone, because I
Speaker 1: know she obviously she wants him to be surfing having fun.
Speaker 1: You know, do you think be bad if Samantha said,
Speaker 1: I don't want you to stop doing this, but I
Speaker 1: also wouldn't mind if you just made me feel comfortable
Speaker 1: while going, you know, while you do this, whether it
Speaker 1: be just like you know, like face timing or from
Speaker 1: the beach or you know, talking to her while he's there.
Speaker 1: It's a good way to compromise, I guess would be
Speaker 1: like face time and when you get there, because I
Speaker 1: can so I can meet her, not like it in
Speaker 1: a weird way, but just be like, oh, like hey,
Speaker 1: like you're my boyfriend's new surfing buddy, Like it's nice
Speaker 1: to meet you, you know what I mean. And that way,
Speaker 1: like obviously if she everyone knows who's in the relationship.
Speaker 1: But it's always good once you put a face to
Speaker 1: the other person's significant other. I think that like really
Speaker 1: ingrains the idea, and you know what I mean, So
Speaker 1: by I think it's a really good idea. By doing that,
Speaker 1: it's like, Okay, there's not gonna be any funny business
Speaker 1: either way, Like she can kind of rest easy, and
Speaker 1: then the girl that he's surfing with can be like Okay, Like,
Speaker 1: now that I have a face to the guy's girlfriend,
Speaker 1: I am certain that this isn't going to be anything romantic,
Speaker 1: you know, yeah, and it certainly can't hurt. Thank you
Speaker 1: so much for listening to a new episode of Help
Speaker 1: by Second Dating. Thank you, of course to Ben Mezrick
Speaker 1: for coming on the podcast check out once again. His
Speaker 1: The Mechanic Would is on the Boston Globe, all twenty
Speaker 1: one chapters. Also by his book Bitcoin Billionaires, which is
Speaker 1: one of my favorites. Uh. Thank you so much Dean
Speaker 1: for opening up during your seven minutes of Heaven. I
Speaker 1: hope this is something that can continue to happen because
Speaker 1: I found yours very interesting. I hope people found mine
Speaker 1: somewhat interesting. But I've already started like brainstorming things that
Speaker 1: I kind of want to uh talk about and get
Speaker 1: off my chest. And during our seven minutes of Heaven heavenly, Uh, Tori,
Speaker 1: thank you so much for showing up. You're amazing as always. Uh.
Speaker 1: Thank you to Amy for employing us. Uh, thank you
Speaker 1: for all the dedicated listeners. We appreciate and and are
Speaker 1: so grateful for you. Uh. Thank you for the emails
Speaker 1: because those are our favorite parts of the podcast listening
Speaker 1: from you, make sure you follow us on all social channels.
Speaker 1: We are on Facebook and more importantly Instagram. We're at
Speaker 1: help I Suck at Dating, so you can definitely follow
Speaker 1: us there and everybody I'm missing there for emailing us.
Speaker 1: So if forget to email us at I suck a
Speaker 1: Dating at iHeart media dot com to hear your stories.
Speaker 1: You want to know what's going on in your lives.
Speaker 1: It helps us connect with you. Even if we give
Speaker 1: these non answer answers like we did just then, it's
Speaker 1: still hopefully helps you guys in a way. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: mean it's so. I think it's always best to give
Speaker 1: a non answer answer because we don't want to tell
Speaker 1: you exactly what to do, because honestly, we don't know
Speaker 1: what the hell we're doing either. We're just trying to help.
Speaker 1: We're all just trying to get through this life together.
Speaker 1: You know, that's it. We're all in this together, guys.
Speaker 1: So make sure you listen next week to an all
Speaker 1: new episode where hopefully we all suck a little less.
Speaker 1: Follow Help by Suck at Dating on I Heart Radio
Speaker 1: or wherever you listen to podcast