1 00:00:02,680 --> 00:00:05,280 Speaker 1: Before we dive into today's episode. 2 00:00:04,760 --> 00:00:07,360 Speaker 2: I want to share something that's totally changed the way 3 00:00:07,400 --> 00:00:10,080 Speaker 2: I think about stories and where I find them. Like 4 00:00:10,200 --> 00:00:13,360 Speaker 2: a lot of people, I first open TikTok because everyone 5 00:00:13,440 --> 00:00:16,239 Speaker 2: kept talking about the book recommendations popping up there. 6 00:00:16,960 --> 00:00:19,640 Speaker 1: So I thought I'd browse a few popular reads and 7 00:00:19,720 --> 00:00:23,320 Speaker 1: call it a day. Spoiler alert. That did not happen. 8 00:00:23,600 --> 00:00:26,479 Speaker 2: I got lost in stories like Beat Read and The 9 00:00:26,560 --> 00:00:30,000 Speaker 2: Vanishing Half, and I found a community of people who 10 00:00:30,160 --> 00:00:31,520 Speaker 2: love those stories as. 11 00:00:31,520 --> 00:00:32,080 Speaker 1: Much as I do. 12 00:00:32,760 --> 00:00:36,360 Speaker 2: On TikTok, reading doesn't stop when you close the book. No, 13 00:00:36,600 --> 00:00:40,519 Speaker 2: it keeps going through reactions, fan edits in all the 14 00:00:40,600 --> 00:00:44,680 Speaker 2: creative ways people bring stories to life. You'll see readers 15 00:00:44,760 --> 00:00:49,360 Speaker 2: breaking down the themes that hit the hardest, creators debating endings, 16 00:00:49,760 --> 00:00:53,559 Speaker 2: and authors sharing the little sparks, the tiny little seeds 17 00:00:53,560 --> 00:00:55,920 Speaker 2: that inspired their worlds in the first place. 18 00:00:56,960 --> 00:00:57,720 Speaker 1: What I love. 19 00:00:57,600 --> 00:01:01,360 Speaker 2: Most, though, is how TikTok makes discover you feel personal. 20 00:01:01,840 --> 00:01:04,640 Speaker 2: One video might lead you to a bestseller you just 21 00:01:04,680 --> 00:01:06,360 Speaker 2: can't put down, and the next. 22 00:01:06,120 --> 00:01:08,199 Speaker 1: Could introduce you to a debut author. 23 00:01:08,319 --> 00:01:10,680 Speaker 2: You might not have seen it at the bookstore, but someone 24 00:01:10,720 --> 00:01:15,120 Speaker 2: who writes absolute magic. TikTok is an incredible space where 25 00:01:15,280 --> 00:01:19,399 Speaker 2: creativity and curiosity meet, and where stories in all their 26 00:01:19,440 --> 00:01:23,480 Speaker 2: amazing forms, remind us just how connected we are. It's 27 00:01:23,520 --> 00:01:28,400 Speaker 2: given me a community where ideas are shared, celebrated, and reimagined. 28 00:01:29,160 --> 00:01:31,759 Speaker 2: So yeah, I came to TikTok looking for my next 29 00:01:31,760 --> 00:01:35,960 Speaker 2: great read, but I stayed for the conversations, the perspectives, 30 00:01:36,200 --> 00:01:40,520 Speaker 2: and the feeling that stories are alive. Don't wait, start 31 00:01:40,560 --> 00:01:43,600 Speaker 2: your journey and see where your curiosity takes you at 32 00:01:43,640 --> 00:01:50,520 Speaker 2: TikTok dot com slash explore more. Today on the right side, 33 00:01:50,560 --> 00:01:52,800 Speaker 2: we're talking to someone who's made it his mission to 34 00:01:52,840 --> 00:01:56,400 Speaker 2: find humor in everything, even the hard stuff. Comedian Chris 35 00:01:56,440 --> 00:01:59,680 Speaker 2: Stuffy joins us to unpack one laughter isn't just entertainment, 36 00:02:00,040 --> 00:02:04,440 Speaker 2: it's connection, courage, and sometimes the only medicine that works. 37 00:02:04,840 --> 00:02:06,640 Speaker 3: Right here is the actual only time that you have 38 00:02:06,720 --> 00:02:10,960 Speaker 3: any control over. And I think humor is a really 39 00:02:11,080 --> 00:02:15,080 Speaker 3: great way of grounding yourself in that because one of 40 00:02:15,080 --> 00:02:18,000 Speaker 3: the things that it does is it releases this tension 41 00:02:18,680 --> 00:02:21,600 Speaker 3: of like I feel this fear, I feel this anxiety, 42 00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:23,520 Speaker 3: and then you laugh and it's just like it's released, 43 00:02:23,520 --> 00:02:26,520 Speaker 3: it's transformed into something else. But also, if you're laughing 44 00:02:26,520 --> 00:02:28,960 Speaker 3: really hard with a friend and you are crying and 45 00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:31,720 Speaker 3: you're both like clutching your sides about something that's probably 46 00:02:31,840 --> 00:02:35,720 Speaker 3: indescribable to someone else. You are not anywhere other than 47 00:02:35,720 --> 00:02:36,680 Speaker 3: where you are right back. 48 00:02:36,919 --> 00:02:39,280 Speaker 2: I'm simoone Boyce and this is the bright Side from 49 00:02:39,320 --> 00:02:45,400 Speaker 2: Hello Sunshine, Hello, Hello, welcome back to the bright Side. 50 00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:49,840 Speaker 2: I hope that you left this weekend feeling recharged, and 51 00:02:49,919 --> 00:02:53,120 Speaker 2: I hope you are ready to giggle. I already have 52 00:02:53,160 --> 00:02:55,560 Speaker 2: a giggle coming on. I could already feel it because 53 00:02:55,600 --> 00:03:00,120 Speaker 2: we are getting seriously unseerious today. On the bright side, 54 00:03:00,200 --> 00:03:03,600 Speaker 2: this conversation is all about cultivating a sense of humor. 55 00:03:04,080 --> 00:03:06,920 Speaker 2: Our guest is comedian Chris Stuffy, and you may have 56 00:03:06,960 --> 00:03:09,640 Speaker 2: heard him on Ted's How to Be a Better Human podcast, 57 00:03:09,880 --> 00:03:12,120 Speaker 2: or maybe you saw him delivering a Ted talk about 58 00:03:12,160 --> 00:03:16,119 Speaker 2: why laughter is everywhere. Let me tell you, I smiled 59 00:03:16,160 --> 00:03:20,160 Speaker 2: the entire time reading Chris's new book, Humor Me, and 60 00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:23,920 Speaker 2: I learned so much too. Chris makes a really compelling 61 00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:26,359 Speaker 2: case for why having a good sense of humor can 62 00:03:26,400 --> 00:03:30,400 Speaker 2: make you happier, more creative, and feel more connected to 63 00:03:30,440 --> 00:03:32,600 Speaker 2: the people around you, no matter what it is that 64 00:03:32,639 --> 00:03:35,200 Speaker 2: you do for a living. And if you're thinking, well, simone, 65 00:03:35,200 --> 00:03:37,600 Speaker 2: I'm just not a funny person, well maybe you just 66 00:03:37,640 --> 00:03:40,240 Speaker 2: don't know what your version of funny looks like. 67 00:03:40,360 --> 00:03:40,560 Speaker 3: Yet. 68 00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:43,280 Speaker 1: Chris is here to show us that humor isn't about 69 00:03:43,320 --> 00:03:44,000 Speaker 1: telling jokes. 70 00:03:44,320 --> 00:03:47,640 Speaker 2: It's actually about paying attention, because the world is full 71 00:03:47,720 --> 00:03:49,160 Speaker 2: of comedic gold if. 72 00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:50,640 Speaker 1: You're present enough to notice it. 73 00:03:51,240 --> 00:03:53,560 Speaker 2: He'll show us why humor is a fool proof way 74 00:03:53,560 --> 00:03:56,960 Speaker 2: to have a great conversation every time, and why the 75 00:03:57,000 --> 00:04:01,200 Speaker 2: secret to a magnetic personality might be the ability to 76 00:04:01,280 --> 00:04:03,880 Speaker 2: laugh at yourself. I am so excited for you to 77 00:04:03,920 --> 00:04:09,200 Speaker 2: hear this one. Let's dive in, Chris Stuffy, Welcome to 78 00:04:09,200 --> 00:04:09,880 Speaker 2: the bright Side. 79 00:04:10,080 --> 00:04:11,800 Speaker 3: Thank you so much for having me. What a joy 80 00:04:11,800 --> 00:04:12,240 Speaker 3: to be here. 81 00:04:12,720 --> 00:04:13,840 Speaker 1: I'm so happy to have you. 82 00:04:14,040 --> 00:04:17,719 Speaker 2: We were talking before we officially started the interview about 83 00:04:18,240 --> 00:04:20,320 Speaker 2: what it's like to be a parent in Los Angeles. 84 00:04:20,360 --> 00:04:22,960 Speaker 2: So can you start us off with a dad joke? 85 00:04:23,440 --> 00:04:26,080 Speaker 3: Oh, dad joke? Oh? Well, you know what my favorite 86 00:04:26,160 --> 00:04:30,160 Speaker 3: dad joke is is you're at a restaurant and you've 87 00:04:30,200 --> 00:04:34,080 Speaker 3: eaten everything on the plate, and then the server comes 88 00:04:34,120 --> 00:04:36,479 Speaker 3: by and says like, how was everything? And you go terrible, 89 00:04:36,839 --> 00:04:39,320 Speaker 3: couldn't eat it? Couldn't need a bite. That's my favorite 90 00:04:39,400 --> 00:04:42,240 Speaker 3: dad joke. That's because, you know, a good one, because 91 00:04:42,279 --> 00:04:45,000 Speaker 3: it's kind of totally harmless. But also it's like, yeah, 92 00:04:45,240 --> 00:04:46,800 Speaker 3: you kind of just said it was good, you know. 93 00:04:47,600 --> 00:04:49,760 Speaker 3: I think that's really fun. I think like table bits 94 00:04:49,800 --> 00:04:51,560 Speaker 3: are a fun genre of dad joke. 95 00:04:52,200 --> 00:04:52,640 Speaker 1: You know what. 96 00:04:52,839 --> 00:04:55,400 Speaker 2: And as you're saying this, I'm feeling so convicted because 97 00:04:55,400 --> 00:04:58,040 Speaker 2: I'm realizing I am that person. 98 00:04:58,320 --> 00:05:00,560 Speaker 3: Ah yeah, yeah, yeah, oh. 99 00:05:00,440 --> 00:05:02,719 Speaker 1: A person who does a table bit at a restaurant. 100 00:05:02,839 --> 00:05:05,520 Speaker 2: It's so appropriate that you are schooling us in the 101 00:05:05,560 --> 00:05:08,599 Speaker 2: manner of table bits, because Chris, you are a comedian 102 00:05:08,839 --> 00:05:12,760 Speaker 2: and I really really enjoyed your book Humor Me because 103 00:05:12,880 --> 00:05:15,159 Speaker 2: in this book you say the secret to living a 104 00:05:15,200 --> 00:05:18,359 Speaker 2: better life and treating people better is cultivating a sense 105 00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:18,920 Speaker 2: of humor. 106 00:05:19,160 --> 00:05:20,480 Speaker 1: Why do you know that to be true? 107 00:05:21,160 --> 00:05:24,440 Speaker 3: Well, I think I know it to be true in 108 00:05:24,520 --> 00:05:28,120 Speaker 3: my own personal experience. I've just found how dramatically having 109 00:05:28,160 --> 00:05:31,120 Speaker 3: a sense of humor can change situation. Right. It's like, 110 00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:37,240 Speaker 3: without making things immediately perfect or easy, having a sense 111 00:05:37,240 --> 00:05:39,200 Speaker 3: of humor about it can make it so that you 112 00:05:39,360 --> 00:05:41,400 Speaker 3: release the tension and you have fun. I've seen that 113 00:05:41,440 --> 00:05:43,520 Speaker 3: so many times in my own life. And then the 114 00:05:43,560 --> 00:05:46,320 Speaker 3: other thing I've seen is just when I think about 115 00:05:46,320 --> 00:05:49,120 Speaker 3: the people who I want to be around, and when 116 00:05:49,120 --> 00:05:51,480 Speaker 3: I think about who I'm excited to hang out with, 117 00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:54,280 Speaker 3: it's so often people who are having a good time, 118 00:05:54,400 --> 00:05:56,440 Speaker 3: and I have a good time with because we're laughing. 119 00:05:56,560 --> 00:05:59,120 Speaker 3: So I think there's kind of these two pieces where 120 00:05:59,160 --> 00:06:01,640 Speaker 3: it changes my internal experience of the world, and then 121 00:06:01,680 --> 00:06:04,880 Speaker 3: it also changes my external experience of the world in 122 00:06:04,880 --> 00:06:07,560 Speaker 3: the sense that it makes me have a bigger community 123 00:06:07,600 --> 00:06:08,360 Speaker 3: and social connection. 124 00:06:08,640 --> 00:06:11,680 Speaker 2: Well, as I'm hearing you speak, I'm remembering my own 125 00:06:11,760 --> 00:06:16,000 Speaker 2: youth and how I used humor to connect with new audiences. 126 00:06:16,760 --> 00:06:19,160 Speaker 2: Looking back, I was kind of a class clown from 127 00:06:19,240 --> 00:06:21,520 Speaker 2: a young age. I just I loved a bit, and 128 00:06:21,839 --> 00:06:25,160 Speaker 2: I realized that I could get this instant gratification from 129 00:06:25,560 --> 00:06:27,400 Speaker 2: cracking a joke when the teacher. 130 00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:27,839 Speaker 1: Turned their back. 131 00:06:27,960 --> 00:06:31,719 Speaker 2: And later on in my adolescence, I moved around a lot. 132 00:06:31,839 --> 00:06:34,760 Speaker 2: I moved from Miami, Florida to Memphis, Tennessee, which was 133 00:06:34,800 --> 00:06:37,640 Speaker 2: a huge culture shock, but I was able to use 134 00:06:37,760 --> 00:06:42,000 Speaker 2: humor as a way to connect with new people wherever 135 00:06:42,040 --> 00:06:42,400 Speaker 2: I was. 136 00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:46,279 Speaker 3: This is such a great example of the power of humor. 137 00:06:46,360 --> 00:06:49,719 Speaker 3: Is like a way to kind of instantly make people 138 00:06:49,720 --> 00:06:52,359 Speaker 3: feel comfortable, to make yourself feel comfortable, but then to 139 00:06:52,480 --> 00:06:56,080 Speaker 3: create this shared group identity and connection. Without getting too 140 00:06:56,120 --> 00:06:59,040 Speaker 3: deep into the science, one of the ideas that scientists 141 00:06:59,080 --> 00:07:03,840 Speaker 3: have about why humor evolved evolutionarily for humans across every 142 00:07:03,880 --> 00:07:06,839 Speaker 3: culture and every continent is because it's a way of 143 00:07:06,920 --> 00:07:09,440 Speaker 3: us immediately telling that we're on the same page. So 144 00:07:09,520 --> 00:07:11,720 Speaker 3: we're in the same group. I have a riddle and 145 00:07:11,760 --> 00:07:13,960 Speaker 3: you know the answer. Okay, we both get it, So 146 00:07:14,040 --> 00:07:17,200 Speaker 3: you're a safe person to be around. And for you, 147 00:07:17,200 --> 00:07:18,600 Speaker 3: you know, you came to a place where all of 148 00:07:18,640 --> 00:07:21,200 Speaker 3: a sudden, there's a whole new language, there's a whole 149 00:07:21,200 --> 00:07:25,040 Speaker 3: new culture. But one thing that every culture shares is 150 00:07:25,040 --> 00:07:27,920 Speaker 3: the ability to laugh and to have this connection through humor. 151 00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:30,120 Speaker 3: So I think that's a really amazing example of how 152 00:07:30,120 --> 00:07:32,080 Speaker 3: it can play out. And also it's funny because people 153 00:07:32,120 --> 00:07:34,720 Speaker 3: sometimes think, like, since I'm a comedy person and I 154 00:07:34,800 --> 00:07:36,240 Speaker 3: wrote a whole book about humor, that I would have 155 00:07:36,280 --> 00:07:38,880 Speaker 3: been a classic clown. But I was and remain such 156 00:07:38,920 --> 00:07:42,000 Speaker 3: a teacher's pet, like total suck up. Could never like 157 00:07:42,040 --> 00:07:44,000 Speaker 3: if someone's talking about how the teacher's back, I'd be like, 158 00:07:44,000 --> 00:07:47,040 Speaker 3: but she we have to pay attention. We're learning here. 159 00:07:47,360 --> 00:07:49,680 Speaker 2: I would have loved to have seen our dynamic in 160 00:07:49,960 --> 00:07:52,640 Speaker 2: class together, Chris. That would have been pretty funny. I've 161 00:07:52,640 --> 00:07:54,080 Speaker 2: for gotten real fed up. 162 00:07:53,960 --> 00:07:57,280 Speaker 3: With me, I would have admired you so much and 163 00:07:57,320 --> 00:07:59,400 Speaker 3: been like, Wow, if only I could be like Simoon. 164 00:07:59,560 --> 00:08:02,120 Speaker 3: But also, so my homework is done. I want to 165 00:08:02,120 --> 00:08:05,040 Speaker 3: make sure you know my homework is done, teacher. But 166 00:08:05,080 --> 00:08:07,040 Speaker 3: then afterwards I'd be like Simon, that was so funny 167 00:08:07,080 --> 00:08:09,520 Speaker 3: what you said. Oh man, I'm laughing about it still. 168 00:08:09,840 --> 00:08:12,720 Speaker 2: Well, you say that you weren't a class clown when 169 00:08:12,760 --> 00:08:15,480 Speaker 2: you were younger, but you definitely did have a penchant 170 00:08:15,520 --> 00:08:19,120 Speaker 2: for humor, and you sought out laughter because you described 171 00:08:19,160 --> 00:08:22,800 Speaker 2: yourself as a pint sized Patch Adams in reference to 172 00:08:22,920 --> 00:08:24,440 Speaker 2: that Robin Williams film. 173 00:08:24,720 --> 00:08:26,960 Speaker 3: Yeah. One of my first memories of telling a joke 174 00:08:27,280 --> 00:08:30,720 Speaker 3: is my great uncle was in the hospital. He had 175 00:08:30,840 --> 00:08:33,560 Speaker 3: had a hurt surgery, and I had this book of 176 00:08:33,679 --> 00:08:36,280 Speaker 3: I think it was one hundred and one Shaggy Dog jokes, 177 00:08:36,520 --> 00:08:38,640 Speaker 3: and I went in and was reading him these jokes 178 00:08:38,679 --> 00:08:41,080 Speaker 3: and they are just objectively not funny. 179 00:08:41,080 --> 00:08:41,240 Speaker 2: You know. 180 00:08:41,240 --> 00:08:42,720 Speaker 3: There are things like how do you make a shaggy 181 00:08:42,760 --> 00:08:44,760 Speaker 3: dog float, two scoops of ice cream, some soda, and 182 00:08:44,800 --> 00:08:47,560 Speaker 3: a very small shaggy dog, which is just barely clearing 183 00:08:47,600 --> 00:08:49,760 Speaker 3: the bar to even be considered a joke. But I 184 00:08:49,880 --> 00:08:51,840 Speaker 3: was just like in there, like I'm gonna heal you, 185 00:08:51,880 --> 00:08:55,320 Speaker 3: great uncle Norman here. Laughter is the best medicine, as 186 00:08:55,320 --> 00:08:58,160 Speaker 3: he was like, I actually think cardiothoracic surgery is quite 187 00:08:58,200 --> 00:08:59,880 Speaker 3: a better medicine than these shaggy dogs. 188 00:09:00,600 --> 00:09:03,960 Speaker 2: How precious is that, though you were still so courageous 189 00:09:04,040 --> 00:09:05,560 Speaker 2: enough to just put yourself out there. 190 00:09:05,960 --> 00:09:06,160 Speaker 1: Yeah. 191 00:09:06,200 --> 00:09:08,120 Speaker 3: Well, I think that's one of the fun things about 192 00:09:08,160 --> 00:09:11,120 Speaker 3: looking at it through the lens of kids is kids 193 00:09:11,160 --> 00:09:13,160 Speaker 3: don't view it as a risk. They view it as 194 00:09:13,320 --> 00:09:16,320 Speaker 3: natural and fun. But a five year old is so 195 00:09:16,520 --> 00:09:20,640 Speaker 3: good at pretend and laughter and just tapping into being silly. 196 00:09:21,040 --> 00:09:22,720 Speaker 3: And I think a lot of adults get this idea 197 00:09:22,760 --> 00:09:26,200 Speaker 3: that we have to be very self serious and not 198 00:09:26,320 --> 00:09:28,199 Speaker 3: laugh at ourselves, and kids are really good at just 199 00:09:28,240 --> 00:09:31,040 Speaker 3: recognizing like we are ridiculous, and that's fun. That's a 200 00:09:31,080 --> 00:09:32,240 Speaker 3: good thing, not a bad thing. 201 00:09:32,559 --> 00:09:35,600 Speaker 2: You've shared so much of your experience as a teacher 202 00:09:35,960 --> 00:09:38,680 Speaker 2: in your work, and I'm curious, what have you learned 203 00:09:38,960 --> 00:09:42,319 Speaker 2: about laughter and cultivating a good sense of humor from children. 204 00:09:42,840 --> 00:09:46,840 Speaker 3: The biggest lessons that I've learned about humor and also 205 00:09:46,840 --> 00:09:48,920 Speaker 3: the bagst lessons that I've just learned about being a person. 206 00:09:48,960 --> 00:09:51,280 Speaker 3: I've learned from the kids at the elementary school where 207 00:09:51,280 --> 00:09:55,319 Speaker 3: I taught. Teaching fifth grade was so fun because every 208 00:09:55,400 --> 00:09:57,800 Speaker 3: day I would come home and I would just think, like, 209 00:09:58,080 --> 00:10:00,600 Speaker 3: I could not have predicted that would happ today. And 210 00:10:00,640 --> 00:10:02,840 Speaker 3: sometimes it was intense things, but a lot of times 211 00:10:02,880 --> 00:10:04,800 Speaker 3: it was like a kid would come up and they'd go, 212 00:10:04,960 --> 00:10:07,480 Speaker 3: I just want to ask you something. Are horses real? 213 00:10:07,679 --> 00:10:09,400 Speaker 3: And I go, yeah, horses are real, And then they go, 214 00:10:09,440 --> 00:10:12,520 Speaker 3: but unicorns not real? And I'd be like, that's confirmed. 215 00:10:12,600 --> 00:10:14,360 Speaker 3: Unicorns are not real, and they go, good to know, 216 00:10:14,600 --> 00:10:16,400 Speaker 3: you know, It's just like that was running through their 217 00:10:16,440 --> 00:10:20,200 Speaker 3: head trying to tell which hoofed mammals are actually out 218 00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:22,800 Speaker 3: there in the day. But then I think the biggest 219 00:10:22,880 --> 00:10:25,360 Speaker 3: lessons that I learned were that, really these are the 220 00:10:26,040 --> 00:10:27,800 Speaker 3: tenants of humor. I call them in the book, the 221 00:10:27,840 --> 00:10:31,400 Speaker 3: three pillars of humor. Being present in the moment, noticing 222 00:10:31,440 --> 00:10:35,679 Speaker 3: things like go to in elementary school and try and 223 00:10:35,800 --> 00:10:39,160 Speaker 3: sneak something past the kids, They notice everything. The second 224 00:10:39,200 --> 00:10:41,760 Speaker 3: thing is being willing to laugh at yourself. Kids are 225 00:10:41,880 --> 00:10:45,320 Speaker 3: so willing to laugh about silly things, to notice funny 226 00:10:45,320 --> 00:10:47,920 Speaker 3: things that happened to them or then involve them. And 227 00:10:47,920 --> 00:10:50,880 Speaker 3: then the last one is taking social risks right. And 228 00:10:51,600 --> 00:10:53,200 Speaker 3: I think that this is really the kind of thing 229 00:10:53,200 --> 00:10:55,679 Speaker 3: that adults view as social risks. But like, kids are 230 00:10:55,760 --> 00:10:58,240 Speaker 3: so willing to go out there and walk up to 231 00:10:58,240 --> 00:11:00,840 Speaker 3: you and go, hey, by the way, today, my name 232 00:11:00,920 --> 00:11:05,000 Speaker 3: is not Sam. Today my name is lizard. And you're like, okay, lizard. 233 00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:07,600 Speaker 3: And then they go and I am a giant talking lizard, 234 00:11:07,640 --> 00:11:10,920 Speaker 3: and you're like, that is amazing that you are now Lizard, 235 00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:14,920 Speaker 3: the giant talking lizard. Adults don't play make believe like that, 236 00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:17,160 Speaker 3: and there's reasons why we don't walk up to our 237 00:11:17,200 --> 00:11:20,560 Speaker 3: bosses and say I'm a giant talking lizard. But I 238 00:11:20,600 --> 00:11:24,559 Speaker 3: think the willingness to pretend to get into something, to 239 00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:27,439 Speaker 3: put yourself out there and take a creative swing, I 240 00:11:27,480 --> 00:11:30,240 Speaker 3: think that's something that we can all benefit from doing. 241 00:11:30,280 --> 00:11:36,280 Speaker 2: More more from Chris Stuffy after this quick break, you 242 00:11:36,400 --> 00:11:40,280 Speaker 2: mentioned the three pillars of good humor and that the 243 00:11:40,320 --> 00:11:43,520 Speaker 2: first one is being present to notice the strange and 244 00:11:43,559 --> 00:11:45,600 Speaker 2: odd circumstances around us. 245 00:11:46,520 --> 00:11:48,000 Speaker 1: How do you see the world this way? 246 00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:51,560 Speaker 2: And what kinds of little details are everyday absurdities jump 247 00:11:51,640 --> 00:11:53,360 Speaker 2: out at you that the rest of us who aren't 248 00:11:53,360 --> 00:11:54,640 Speaker 2: as a tuned might miss. 249 00:11:55,240 --> 00:11:57,720 Speaker 3: How do I do this in my daily life, the 250 00:11:58,200 --> 00:12:01,520 Speaker 3: staying present and attuned to the weird and the absurd 251 00:12:01,800 --> 00:12:05,079 Speaker 3: and the delightful. You know, I think it's always good 252 00:12:05,120 --> 00:12:07,160 Speaker 3: to be honest, which is that a lot of us, 253 00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:09,160 Speaker 3: a lot of us being authors, and I can now 254 00:12:09,240 --> 00:12:11,080 Speaker 3: include myself this is my first book, but now I'm 255 00:12:11,080 --> 00:12:13,120 Speaker 3: going to say us meaning authors, a lot of people 256 00:12:13,280 --> 00:12:16,320 Speaker 3: write the book that they need, you know. And right 257 00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:20,920 Speaker 3: now I have a newborn child at home, so I 258 00:12:20,960 --> 00:12:23,199 Speaker 3: have two kids for the first time, and I am 259 00:12:23,400 --> 00:12:25,440 Speaker 3: not getting that much sleep. There's a lot of stress 260 00:12:25,480 --> 00:12:30,040 Speaker 3: around logistics. It is definitely a time where I'm having 261 00:12:30,480 --> 00:12:32,679 Speaker 3: more of this like tunnel vision where it's like I 262 00:12:32,720 --> 00:12:34,920 Speaker 3: just have to get through the day. And it's just 263 00:12:35,280 --> 00:12:37,560 Speaker 3: natural that when you're in a difficult period you kind 264 00:12:37,600 --> 00:12:39,400 Speaker 3: of get into like how can I get from A 265 00:12:39,559 --> 00:12:42,760 Speaker 3: to B to C, T D to sleep? Like that's 266 00:12:42,800 --> 00:12:44,720 Speaker 3: all that I need And that's not a very fun 267 00:12:44,760 --> 00:12:48,040 Speaker 3: way to go through your day, and so I'm trying 268 00:12:48,040 --> 00:12:50,200 Speaker 3: really hard to remind myself the lesson that I have 269 00:12:50,320 --> 00:12:52,560 Speaker 3: learned many many times in my life, which is that 270 00:12:52,880 --> 00:12:55,320 Speaker 3: when you have this tunnel vision where you're just going 271 00:12:55,800 --> 00:12:57,920 Speaker 3: from the thing you need to do the next thing, 272 00:12:58,000 --> 00:13:01,360 Speaker 3: you're totally ignoring everything else. The rest of the world 273 00:13:01,400 --> 00:13:04,000 Speaker 3: is a blur. It's not fun. It's so much more 274 00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:05,559 Speaker 3: fun if you can stop be in the moment that 275 00:13:05,600 --> 00:13:08,520 Speaker 3: you're at notice the things where they are, even if 276 00:13:08,559 --> 00:13:13,040 Speaker 3: they are so absurdly difficult. There's something funny about that, right, Like, 277 00:13:13,480 --> 00:13:15,600 Speaker 3: let's maybe like do an exercise here to just see 278 00:13:15,600 --> 00:13:17,959 Speaker 3: how it w I would love to. Yeah, okay, great. 279 00:13:17,960 --> 00:13:20,640 Speaker 3: So I think the thing Simon is like, it's very 280 00:13:20,679 --> 00:13:23,920 Speaker 3: hard to remember far in the past. Right If I 281 00:13:23,960 --> 00:13:25,760 Speaker 3: ask you right now, like, what's the last time you 282 00:13:25,840 --> 00:13:28,960 Speaker 3: saw something really ridiculous, do you have an answer? 283 00:13:29,640 --> 00:13:30,880 Speaker 1: I saw something early ridiculous. 284 00:13:30,880 --> 00:13:32,320 Speaker 3: It's a pretty hard question to answer. 285 00:13:32,360 --> 00:13:34,079 Speaker 1: I think for the most while, why am I struggling 286 00:13:34,120 --> 00:13:34,480 Speaker 1: with that? 287 00:13:34,679 --> 00:13:37,079 Speaker 3: It's not because you don't see ridiculous things every day, 288 00:13:37,360 --> 00:13:41,440 Speaker 3: certainly every week. It's because when we like don't write 289 00:13:41,480 --> 00:13:43,760 Speaker 3: them down, we don't take note of them. They just 290 00:13:44,200 --> 00:13:46,640 Speaker 3: leave our heads. We're not really well equipped to remember 291 00:13:46,679 --> 00:13:49,520 Speaker 3: them without trying to remember them. I'm sure that if 292 00:13:49,559 --> 00:13:51,360 Speaker 3: I said, what's the last time you had like an 293 00:13:51,400 --> 00:13:53,800 Speaker 3: embarrassing situation where you felt like you made a an 294 00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:56,400 Speaker 3: interpersonal mistake, that will pop right into your head. That 295 00:13:56,440 --> 00:13:59,480 Speaker 3: pops right into my head without any effort. So one 296 00:13:59,480 --> 00:14:00,800 Speaker 3: of the things that I I think people should try 297 00:14:00,800 --> 00:14:03,000 Speaker 3: and do is like when you notice where things, keep 298 00:14:03,040 --> 00:14:05,160 Speaker 3: it somewhere, keep it in a notebook, keep it in 299 00:14:05,240 --> 00:14:06,959 Speaker 3: a note on your phone, keep it in a little 300 00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:08,480 Speaker 3: post it note that then you put in a jar 301 00:14:09,080 --> 00:14:11,120 Speaker 3: something that delights you that you think is a little odd. 302 00:14:11,320 --> 00:14:13,240 Speaker 3: But the other part is I think you can notice 303 00:14:13,240 --> 00:14:17,160 Speaker 3: something almost anywhere. So like, if you just look around 304 00:14:17,200 --> 00:14:19,880 Speaker 3: the room that you're in, is there anything that seems 305 00:14:19,920 --> 00:14:21,920 Speaker 3: like a tiny bit off? Forget about it being funny 306 00:14:21,960 --> 00:14:24,760 Speaker 3: right now, just something that seems like maybe not exactly right, 307 00:14:24,840 --> 00:14:28,000 Speaker 3: maybe not exactly like normal or bland. 308 00:14:28,480 --> 00:14:30,320 Speaker 2: You know what's funny to me is I'm looking at 309 00:14:30,480 --> 00:14:32,600 Speaker 2: my ring light that's in front of me, and I 310 00:14:32,680 --> 00:14:37,760 Speaker 2: just think it's funny that this scene is now so normalized. 311 00:14:37,760 --> 00:14:42,360 Speaker 2: You go into anybody's home nowadays who works virtually and 312 00:14:42,520 --> 00:14:45,600 Speaker 2: find a mini TV setup in their house. 313 00:14:45,720 --> 00:14:46,440 Speaker 1: It's just odd. 314 00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:49,040 Speaker 3: Such a good example, right, So where are you right 315 00:14:49,040 --> 00:14:50,600 Speaker 3: now in your actual home? Where are you? 316 00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:53,160 Speaker 1: I'm in my office, Okay, so it is. 317 00:14:53,280 --> 00:14:55,400 Speaker 3: I think this is such a good example of something 318 00:14:55,400 --> 00:14:57,800 Speaker 3: that you think of as normal because it's just you 319 00:14:57,840 --> 00:15:00,400 Speaker 3: walk past, it becomes normal. And yet when you step 320 00:15:00,440 --> 00:15:04,040 Speaker 3: back for a second, you're like, this is truly bizarre. 321 00:15:04,160 --> 00:15:08,360 Speaker 3: I am talking into a giant illuminated eye that is 322 00:15:08,400 --> 00:15:10,640 Speaker 3: making me look like the sun is shining on me 323 00:15:10,720 --> 00:15:13,160 Speaker 3: when I am not in the sun. I am inside 324 00:15:13,160 --> 00:15:15,720 Speaker 3: in my home. But I think that's a great example 325 00:15:15,760 --> 00:15:18,480 Speaker 3: of like this is the line where it can make 326 00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:21,080 Speaker 3: you smile or chuckle a little bit. It doesn't have 327 00:15:21,160 --> 00:15:24,960 Speaker 3: to be like everything is like the best crush belly 328 00:15:25,040 --> 00:15:26,760 Speaker 3: laughed joke that you would tell anyone else. I think 329 00:15:26,760 --> 00:15:29,880 Speaker 3: it's just like noticing, like, huh, I'm staring into a 330 00:15:29,920 --> 00:15:32,440 Speaker 3: giant artificial sun and that's normal and I do that 331 00:15:32,520 --> 00:15:34,520 Speaker 3: all the time. A ring light is just here. 332 00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:35,520 Speaker 1: It's so true to me. 333 00:15:35,560 --> 00:15:37,360 Speaker 3: That's really fun and like a way to add a 334 00:15:37,440 --> 00:15:39,760 Speaker 3: little bit of humor into your life in just noticing 335 00:15:39,760 --> 00:15:40,640 Speaker 3: those kinds of moments. 336 00:15:40,880 --> 00:15:43,440 Speaker 2: Will you speak about humor as a muscle, and I 337 00:15:43,440 --> 00:15:46,440 Speaker 2: think that's a great example of tiny little exercises that 338 00:15:46,480 --> 00:15:49,120 Speaker 2: we can incorporate throughout our day to flex that muscle 339 00:15:49,160 --> 00:15:52,560 Speaker 2: even more. And it's fascinating to me that the foundation 340 00:15:52,880 --> 00:15:58,920 Speaker 2: of good humor is also the foundation of happiness and mindfulness. 341 00:15:58,960 --> 00:16:00,120 Speaker 1: The idea of being. 342 00:16:00,320 --> 00:16:02,720 Speaker 3: Present right here is the actual only time that you 343 00:16:02,760 --> 00:16:06,880 Speaker 3: have any control over. And I think humor is a 344 00:16:06,920 --> 00:16:11,200 Speaker 3: really great way of grounding yourself in that because one 345 00:16:11,240 --> 00:16:13,720 Speaker 3: of the things that it does is it releases this 346 00:16:13,840 --> 00:16:17,840 Speaker 3: tension of like I feel this fear, I feel this anxiety, 347 00:16:17,840 --> 00:16:19,760 Speaker 3: and then you laugh and it's just like it's released, 348 00:16:19,800 --> 00:16:22,760 Speaker 3: it's transformed into something else. But also, if you're laughing 349 00:16:22,760 --> 00:16:25,200 Speaker 3: really hard with a friend and you are crying and 350 00:16:25,240 --> 00:16:27,960 Speaker 3: you're both like clutching your sides about something that's probably 351 00:16:28,080 --> 00:16:31,960 Speaker 3: indescribable to someone else, you are not anywhere other than 352 00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:34,720 Speaker 3: where you are right then, like that is pure in 353 00:16:34,760 --> 00:16:36,160 Speaker 3: the moment you're so right. 354 00:16:36,600 --> 00:16:39,440 Speaker 2: So being able to laugh at your environment is one thing. 355 00:16:39,760 --> 00:16:42,680 Speaker 2: Being able to laugh at yourself is another. And that's 356 00:16:42,800 --> 00:16:45,920 Speaker 2: the second pillar of good humor that you outline in 357 00:16:45,960 --> 00:16:48,040 Speaker 2: your book. So in the spirit of being able to 358 00:16:48,120 --> 00:16:51,240 Speaker 2: laugh at ourselves. What's one thing about yourself that you're 359 00:16:51,280 --> 00:16:52,680 Speaker 2: able to laugh at? 360 00:16:53,360 --> 00:16:57,000 Speaker 3: Oh, well, lots of things. I think I'm able to 361 00:16:57,080 --> 00:17:00,480 Speaker 3: laugh at. One is which is just minutes before we 362 00:17:00,680 --> 00:17:03,880 Speaker 3: started this interview, I'm recording in a closet and I 363 00:17:03,920 --> 00:17:05,639 Speaker 3: was trying to make it sound better and I am like, 364 00:17:06,440 --> 00:17:09,480 Speaker 3: so not handy, but I have this sound blanket that's 365 00:17:09,480 --> 00:17:11,719 Speaker 3: supposed to make the sound sound better, and so I 366 00:17:11,760 --> 00:17:13,439 Speaker 3: was trying to do something which I think for a 367 00:17:13,440 --> 00:17:16,560 Speaker 3: handy person would have taken forty five seconds, which is 368 00:17:16,720 --> 00:17:19,439 Speaker 3: drill one hole in the wall and then hammer this 369 00:17:19,480 --> 00:17:22,000 Speaker 3: thing in that it could hang on. And I spent 370 00:17:22,200 --> 00:17:24,760 Speaker 3: the last forty five minutes before this interview trying and 371 00:17:24,800 --> 00:17:27,760 Speaker 3: failing to drill one hole in the wall. And there 372 00:17:27,840 --> 00:17:31,320 Speaker 3: is a giant hole in the wall with plaster leaking 373 00:17:31,359 --> 00:17:34,680 Speaker 3: out of it, and that like literally five minutes before 374 00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:37,240 Speaker 3: I was supposed to be on this interview. I was like, well, 375 00:17:37,800 --> 00:17:39,520 Speaker 3: I got to give up on that. This is not 376 00:17:39,560 --> 00:17:41,399 Speaker 3: who I am. I am not the person who can 377 00:17:41,440 --> 00:17:44,080 Speaker 3: hang this blanket. I thought I was, but that's not me. 378 00:17:44,560 --> 00:17:46,520 Speaker 3: And I just had to laugh and go this thing 379 00:17:46,560 --> 00:17:48,439 Speaker 3: is going to sit in a pile on the floor 380 00:17:48,560 --> 00:17:51,800 Speaker 3: across this whole interview because I am not a handy person. 381 00:17:52,320 --> 00:17:55,800 Speaker 2: I respect the ambition, though, Chris getting out the power 382 00:17:55,880 --> 00:17:57,679 Speaker 2: tools right before a podcast interview. 383 00:17:57,760 --> 00:17:59,160 Speaker 1: Yes, that's ambition. 384 00:17:59,480 --> 00:18:02,159 Speaker 3: It is when it comes to home improvement or home repair. 385 00:18:02,280 --> 00:18:05,000 Speaker 3: I am very much the embodiment of it's the thought 386 00:18:05,080 --> 00:18:07,600 Speaker 3: that counts, yes, because it's not the result. I'll tell 387 00:18:07,600 --> 00:18:09,840 Speaker 3: you that it is the intention, but it is never 388 00:18:09,920 --> 00:18:12,040 Speaker 3: the result. My wife, when we were dating in college, 389 00:18:12,080 --> 00:18:13,640 Speaker 3: I thought the pilot light was out on her stove 390 00:18:13,640 --> 00:18:14,639 Speaker 3: and I was like, I think I know how to 391 00:18:14,640 --> 00:18:17,040 Speaker 3: fix this, and I lifted the top of the stove 392 00:18:17,119 --> 00:18:18,400 Speaker 3: up and it was kind of stuck, and I pulled 393 00:18:18,400 --> 00:18:21,119 Speaker 3: really hard, and I accidentally cut the gas line and 394 00:18:21,280 --> 00:18:24,520 Speaker 3: caused her entire building to be evacuated. And people are like, maybe, 395 00:18:24,600 --> 00:18:27,399 Speaker 3: don't try and fix the pilot light ever again. 396 00:18:27,720 --> 00:18:31,200 Speaker 2: Stay away from my household appliances. 397 00:18:30,680 --> 00:18:33,960 Speaker 3: That's the wisest thing you've ever said, Chris. Stay away 398 00:18:33,960 --> 00:18:35,320 Speaker 3: from everything in my house. 399 00:18:35,960 --> 00:18:37,000 Speaker 1: Stay away. 400 00:18:37,560 --> 00:18:39,800 Speaker 3: What about you? What's something you laugh at about yourself? 401 00:18:40,240 --> 00:18:44,600 Speaker 2: I'm able to laugh at how vast my interests are. 402 00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:46,600 Speaker 1: Oh, I'm able to laugh at my. 403 00:18:46,760 --> 00:18:51,360 Speaker 2: Range because I'm someone who like take my playlist for example, 404 00:18:51,400 --> 00:18:55,320 Speaker 2: I can laugh at my playlist. My playlists have everything 405 00:18:55,520 --> 00:19:00,800 Speaker 2: from Hall and Oates and yacht rock to read to 406 00:19:01,920 --> 00:19:04,440 Speaker 2: Little Boosy and Southern rap. 407 00:19:04,520 --> 00:19:05,720 Speaker 1: I'm just all over the place. 408 00:19:05,720 --> 00:19:08,600 Speaker 2: And I'm kind of like that with movies too, Like 409 00:19:08,720 --> 00:19:13,040 Speaker 2: I'm obsessed with the Lord of the Rings, like obsessed 410 00:19:13,040 --> 00:19:14,240 Speaker 2: to an unhealthy level. 411 00:19:14,800 --> 00:19:17,040 Speaker 1: And I also love sex in the City. So sometimes 412 00:19:17,080 --> 00:19:19,359 Speaker 1: I just giggle at myself. I'm like, who are you? 413 00:19:20,240 --> 00:19:25,160 Speaker 3: I love that. That's great. Oh, I'm vest you are vast, 414 00:19:25,240 --> 00:19:28,280 Speaker 3: you contain multitudes. That's really good. Oh that's so good. 415 00:19:28,760 --> 00:19:31,399 Speaker 3: You know a way that I sometimes like if people 416 00:19:31,400 --> 00:19:33,919 Speaker 3: have trouble laughing at themselves or thinking about what it 417 00:19:33,960 --> 00:19:35,720 Speaker 3: is that you would laugh at about yourself. There's a 418 00:19:35,760 --> 00:19:38,800 Speaker 3: meme online that's called like the starter Kit, and I 419 00:19:38,840 --> 00:19:41,040 Speaker 3: really think this is like a fun way to imagine 420 00:19:41,480 --> 00:19:44,800 Speaker 3: what might be some funny things to laugh at yourself about, 421 00:19:44,960 --> 00:19:46,960 Speaker 3: which is like what would be in the U starter kit? 422 00:19:47,040 --> 00:19:49,600 Speaker 3: So like, what's the me? Starter kit is like gotta 423 00:19:49,640 --> 00:19:51,800 Speaker 3: be a six running shoes worn't all the time just 424 00:19:51,840 --> 00:19:54,760 Speaker 3: for comfort, not for fashion. It's going to be jeans 425 00:19:54,800 --> 00:19:56,920 Speaker 3: with a pocket full of tissues that I've used on 426 00:19:56,960 --> 00:19:59,760 Speaker 3: the children snacks in the other pocket, and it's going 427 00:19:59,800 --> 00:20:04,359 Speaker 3: to do be my phone with a notesapp open to 428 00:20:04,600 --> 00:20:08,159 Speaker 3: new Comedy Ideas number sixty seven. That's the me starter kit, right, 429 00:20:08,200 --> 00:20:12,720 Speaker 3: But like, what would the ways of you thinking about? 430 00:20:12,720 --> 00:20:14,840 Speaker 3: Like these are your things? What would the thing be? 431 00:20:15,680 --> 00:20:17,600 Speaker 3: Is often a great place to start at, which is 432 00:20:17,640 --> 00:20:18,560 Speaker 3: just like, what's so you? 433 00:20:18,840 --> 00:20:20,520 Speaker 1: Okay, can I do my starter kit? 434 00:20:20,760 --> 00:20:22,240 Speaker 3: Yeah? What's in the simone starter kit? 435 00:20:22,720 --> 00:20:25,840 Speaker 2: Definitely some kind of snacks, so we have that in common. 436 00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:28,720 Speaker 3: Okay, Great's what's your go to snack? Because specificity is 437 00:20:28,760 --> 00:20:29,960 Speaker 3: also really important for you? 438 00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:33,960 Speaker 2: Okay, So if I'm going to get specific about my snacks, 439 00:20:33,960 --> 00:20:36,439 Speaker 2: it's probably a sour candy snack. 440 00:20:36,520 --> 00:20:37,440 Speaker 1: Oh so fat? 441 00:20:37,440 --> 00:20:39,800 Speaker 3: Okay, you like a rope or a kid or a 442 00:20:40,119 --> 00:20:41,280 Speaker 3: like or a rash kid. 443 00:20:41,480 --> 00:20:44,640 Speaker 1: Yeah, or it's maybe one of my kids fruit snacks. 444 00:20:44,920 --> 00:20:48,320 Speaker 2: I probably have a cold brew coffee in my starter 445 00:20:48,440 --> 00:20:55,080 Speaker 2: pack at least sixty two computer tabs open, forty thousand 446 00:20:55,160 --> 00:21:00,359 Speaker 2: email yes mails, Okay, immediately knows so much of you 447 00:21:00,359 --> 00:21:02,639 Speaker 2: with all of that, right, Like it's so good to. 448 00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:05,959 Speaker 3: Get into the specificity of those things, and also like 449 00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:08,920 Speaker 3: the sour thing, there's something I had never thought about before. 450 00:21:08,960 --> 00:21:11,320 Speaker 3: But the shapes of things that we've decided can be 451 00:21:11,359 --> 00:21:14,280 Speaker 3: sour is also pretty funny, right, like true fish children 452 00:21:14,640 --> 00:21:17,880 Speaker 3: and peatrings. But there's something strange about that. We don't 453 00:21:17,880 --> 00:21:20,520 Speaker 3: ever have other sour things. You never see a sour house, 454 00:21:20,560 --> 00:21:21,080 Speaker 3: for example. 455 00:21:21,520 --> 00:21:22,680 Speaker 1: That's where we draw the line. 456 00:21:22,800 --> 00:21:25,280 Speaker 3: No, that's the line. We cannot have sour infrastructure. 457 00:21:25,760 --> 00:21:29,439 Speaker 2: You say that one of your secret hacks for interviews 458 00:21:29,720 --> 00:21:33,439 Speaker 2: is admitting what you don't know, which seems like a 459 00:21:33,480 --> 00:21:35,639 Speaker 2: way to laugh at yourself. Can you give me an 460 00:21:35,680 --> 00:21:37,320 Speaker 2: example of one of those confessions. 461 00:21:37,640 --> 00:21:41,359 Speaker 3: Oh, I mean, I think that like one hundred percent 462 00:21:41,400 --> 00:21:44,400 Speaker 3: of the time, I can say I am saying this, 463 00:21:44,680 --> 00:21:47,320 Speaker 3: But also I have no clue what I'm talking about, 464 00:21:47,359 --> 00:21:49,480 Speaker 3: so please correct me if I'm wrong. Even in this interview, 465 00:21:49,520 --> 00:21:51,440 Speaker 3: we're talking about my book, and I'm like, I bet 466 00:21:51,600 --> 00:21:54,560 Speaker 3: you know my book better than I know my book. 467 00:21:54,760 --> 00:21:57,600 Speaker 3: I am positive simon that you could quote my book 468 00:21:57,640 --> 00:21:59,919 Speaker 3: better than I can. So I think it's just important 469 00:22:00,080 --> 00:22:03,600 Speaker 3: to acknowledge that, right, Like, people trust and respect you 470 00:22:03,680 --> 00:22:06,439 Speaker 3: more if you say like, and I'm just speaking for 471 00:22:06,520 --> 00:22:08,520 Speaker 3: me right now, I am a buffoon and a clown. 472 00:22:08,600 --> 00:22:11,479 Speaker 3: I am literally professionally a clown, and you are going 473 00:22:11,520 --> 00:22:14,520 Speaker 3: to take advice for me that is ill advised. But 474 00:22:15,400 --> 00:22:17,560 Speaker 3: you know, if I'm interviewing a physicist, one of the 475 00:22:17,560 --> 00:22:20,359 Speaker 3: first things I'm going to say is, hey, I know 476 00:22:20,440 --> 00:22:22,600 Speaker 3: that I'm supposed to know this, because I'm positive I 477 00:22:22,680 --> 00:22:25,440 Speaker 3: literally took a class called physics in high school, but 478 00:22:25,720 --> 00:22:27,840 Speaker 3: I have no idea what physics is. Can we just 479 00:22:27,880 --> 00:22:30,760 Speaker 3: start with what is physics before you tell me about 480 00:22:30,760 --> 00:22:33,400 Speaker 3: your brilliant discoveries, like what is your field? Even mean 481 00:22:34,359 --> 00:22:38,440 Speaker 3: they're going to be disarmed by that because they don't 482 00:22:38,520 --> 00:22:42,320 Speaker 3: like pretending like you know everything either, And this way 483 00:22:42,760 --> 00:22:44,960 Speaker 3: you can start with a real connection. But also then 484 00:22:45,480 --> 00:22:46,960 Speaker 3: there's a part of honesty, which is like, if you 485 00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:48,800 Speaker 3: do know what physics is, don't say I don't know 486 00:22:48,840 --> 00:22:50,760 Speaker 3: what physics is. Admit that you know it. You know 487 00:22:51,080 --> 00:22:53,359 Speaker 3: it's so smart. I just think the more you can 488 00:22:53,400 --> 00:22:55,840 Speaker 3: take the air out of your own sales in a 489 00:22:55,880 --> 00:22:58,320 Speaker 3: healthy way, the more you can actually connect with other people, 490 00:22:58,400 --> 00:23:00,639 Speaker 3: because this is I think a big fallacy think that 491 00:23:00,720 --> 00:23:02,119 Speaker 3: if you want other people to like you, you have 492 00:23:02,200 --> 00:23:05,159 Speaker 3: to be perfect, And in fact, we love people who 493 00:23:05,200 --> 00:23:07,720 Speaker 3: are not perfect. We like a person who's relatable and 494 00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:09,920 Speaker 3: has made mistakes, and we can be ourselves around because 495 00:23:09,920 --> 00:23:11,160 Speaker 3: then we don't have to be perfect either. 496 00:23:11,600 --> 00:23:12,399 Speaker 1: So true. 497 00:23:12,640 --> 00:23:14,919 Speaker 2: There's actually a study that I read about in your 498 00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:20,000 Speaker 2: book where job candidates who spilled coffee on themselves actually 499 00:23:20,040 --> 00:23:21,880 Speaker 2: had a better chance of getting the job. 500 00:23:22,160 --> 00:23:24,720 Speaker 3: This is my favorite study that I learned about in 501 00:23:24,840 --> 00:23:26,520 Speaker 3: all of the research that I did for this book. 502 00:23:26,560 --> 00:23:28,520 Speaker 3: By far, my favorite study. I'm so glad you brought 503 00:23:28,560 --> 00:23:31,280 Speaker 3: it up. It's that they found that when people were 504 00:23:31,359 --> 00:23:33,920 Speaker 3: interviewing for a job, obviously you had to be qualified, 505 00:23:33,920 --> 00:23:36,640 Speaker 3: so people didn't like the unqualified candidates. But between people 506 00:23:36,640 --> 00:23:40,480 Speaker 3: who were qualified two identical candidates, if someone came in 507 00:23:40,520 --> 00:23:44,040 Speaker 3: the room and was just perfect, they liked them fine. 508 00:23:44,359 --> 00:23:46,080 Speaker 3: But the person they liked the most was the person 509 00:23:46,119 --> 00:23:48,280 Speaker 3: who came in the room was qualified and said, oh 510 00:23:48,280 --> 00:23:50,240 Speaker 3: my god, I just spilled coffee all over my shirt. 511 00:23:50,240 --> 00:23:52,920 Speaker 3: I am so sorry. I'm like I'm covered in coffee. 512 00:23:53,000 --> 00:23:56,199 Speaker 3: People love that person because they were able to do it, 513 00:23:56,240 --> 00:23:58,560 Speaker 3: but they were relatable, right, who has it like spilled 514 00:23:58,600 --> 00:24:01,000 Speaker 3: coffee before an important and then you're like, I have 515 00:24:01,040 --> 00:24:04,000 Speaker 3: this big stain. You would think that would make them 516 00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:06,280 Speaker 3: like you less. Instead, they all like that person more 517 00:24:06,359 --> 00:24:09,879 Speaker 3: because there was a way to connect to them and 518 00:24:09,880 --> 00:24:12,840 Speaker 3: to not feel like, oh, this person is just so perfect, 519 00:24:13,119 --> 00:24:15,160 Speaker 3: so poor, hot coffee on yourself before you go into 520 00:24:15,160 --> 00:24:17,320 Speaker 3: every job interview. That's my advice. 521 00:24:17,720 --> 00:24:20,359 Speaker 1: Great medical advice from Yeah, that's. 522 00:24:20,240 --> 00:24:22,959 Speaker 3: My medical advice. No, no, no, it's not about doing that intentionally. 523 00:24:22,960 --> 00:24:24,879 Speaker 3: It's about doing that in the more broad sense. 524 00:24:25,320 --> 00:24:27,679 Speaker 2: I hope this episode is putting a smile on your face. 525 00:24:27,920 --> 00:24:30,199 Speaker 2: You want to share that smile. Send this episode to 526 00:24:30,200 --> 00:24:31,840 Speaker 2: a friend who needs to hear it. We've got to 527 00:24:31,840 --> 00:24:33,760 Speaker 2: take a short break, but we'll be right back with 528 00:24:33,840 --> 00:24:40,600 Speaker 2: Chris Stuffie. And we're back with Chris Stuffie. I want 529 00:24:40,600 --> 00:24:43,240 Speaker 2: to round us out by talking about pillar of good 530 00:24:43,320 --> 00:24:48,080 Speaker 2: humor number three, taking social risks. How does having a 531 00:24:48,160 --> 00:24:51,879 Speaker 2: good sense of humor prime us for taking more social risks? 532 00:24:52,359 --> 00:24:54,720 Speaker 3: Well, I think one thing about humor that can prime 533 00:24:54,760 --> 00:24:57,040 Speaker 3: you to take social risks is the idea that, like, 534 00:24:57,359 --> 00:25:01,240 Speaker 3: other people might be on your side. Right you're laughing together. 535 00:25:01,359 --> 00:25:03,280 Speaker 3: We want to have fun together. They don't want to 536 00:25:03,280 --> 00:25:05,480 Speaker 3: like pounce on you and say that's stupid, that's a 537 00:25:05,520 --> 00:25:08,119 Speaker 3: bad idea. Instead, they want to like laugh and have 538 00:25:08,160 --> 00:25:10,600 Speaker 3: a good time with you. Which is frankly closer to 539 00:25:10,640 --> 00:25:16,480 Speaker 3: the truth, right, Like, strangers really overestimate how negative an 540 00:25:16,520 --> 00:25:19,320 Speaker 3: interaction with another stranger will be and underestimate how positive 541 00:25:19,359 --> 00:25:22,679 Speaker 3: it will be. So I think humor can predispose us 542 00:25:22,680 --> 00:25:26,199 Speaker 3: to viewing other people as like waiting to laugh together 543 00:25:26,359 --> 00:25:29,800 Speaker 3: rather than waiting to pounce. And I think it also 544 00:25:29,920 --> 00:25:33,399 Speaker 3: is like, let's just take a real situation, right, Like 545 00:25:33,480 --> 00:25:37,080 Speaker 3: you're about to start a new job and you're going 546 00:25:37,160 --> 00:25:41,080 Speaker 3: to go in and you are nervous about meeting all 547 00:25:41,080 --> 00:25:43,520 Speaker 3: these people, and you're also like, whatever, my first impression is, 548 00:25:43,600 --> 00:25:45,760 Speaker 3: I hope to be at this job for years. I 549 00:25:45,760 --> 00:25:48,000 Speaker 3: think if you go in with humor, right, if you 550 00:25:48,040 --> 00:25:50,280 Speaker 3: go in with like, here's a silly, funny thing about 551 00:25:50,320 --> 00:25:52,560 Speaker 3: me that I want to share. I'm going to bring 552 00:25:52,600 --> 00:25:55,359 Speaker 3: in a funny photo of a thing that happened to me. 553 00:25:55,440 --> 00:25:57,600 Speaker 3: I have a story I'm going to come in with 554 00:25:57,640 --> 00:26:01,280 Speaker 3: like a silly bit or something like that. That's a risk, right, 555 00:26:01,320 --> 00:26:05,320 Speaker 3: Like you're coming in with something, but then it pays 556 00:26:05,359 --> 00:26:08,120 Speaker 3: off so much more and it makes people connect to you. 557 00:26:08,280 --> 00:26:09,840 Speaker 3: And so all of that is just the kind of 558 00:26:09,920 --> 00:26:14,440 Speaker 3: roundabout way of saying going into situations assuming the best 559 00:26:14,440 --> 00:26:18,640 Speaker 3: and trying to connect with people through humor can take 560 00:26:18,720 --> 00:26:20,719 Speaker 3: something that would be intimidating and scary and make it 561 00:26:20,720 --> 00:26:23,600 Speaker 3: instead really fun and joyful, and it almost always goes 562 00:26:23,600 --> 00:26:24,280 Speaker 3: better than you think it. 563 00:26:24,280 --> 00:26:27,440 Speaker 2: Well, well, I'm thinking of people who are probably listening 564 00:26:27,560 --> 00:26:30,440 Speaker 2: right now who have some social anxiety whenever they go out. 565 00:26:30,480 --> 00:26:33,720 Speaker 2: I know it happens to me too, just not really 566 00:26:33,800 --> 00:26:38,000 Speaker 2: knowing where my place is in the conversation or how 567 00:26:38,040 --> 00:26:40,919 Speaker 2: to introduce myself. And I love the tips that you 568 00:26:41,080 --> 00:26:44,800 Speaker 2: just shared about sharing stories that you know will be engaging. 569 00:26:45,040 --> 00:26:49,480 Speaker 2: What are some other tips for using humor to connect 570 00:26:49,560 --> 00:26:51,960 Speaker 2: in intimidating social situations. 571 00:26:52,440 --> 00:26:53,879 Speaker 3: I think that one of the biggest things that I 572 00:26:53,920 --> 00:26:56,400 Speaker 3: would say if you're someone who is introverted or has 573 00:26:56,400 --> 00:27:00,000 Speaker 3: some social anxiety, is that a huge misconception about human 574 00:27:00,080 --> 00:27:01,560 Speaker 3: or is that you have to be the one at 575 00:27:01,560 --> 00:27:04,399 Speaker 3: the center of attention telling the joke. It is just 576 00:27:04,600 --> 00:27:07,679 Speaker 3: as good and arguably sometimes even better if you're the 577 00:27:07,680 --> 00:27:10,679 Speaker 3: one who is laughing and having a good time without 578 00:27:10,800 --> 00:27:12,720 Speaker 3: being the center of attention. So one thing I would 579 00:27:12,760 --> 00:27:16,280 Speaker 3: say is laughter is social, so you can also connect 580 00:27:16,280 --> 00:27:18,600 Speaker 3: with other people where if they're saying something that's funny, 581 00:27:18,680 --> 00:27:21,199 Speaker 3: showing them that you think it's funny, laughing and enjoying that. 582 00:27:21,560 --> 00:27:22,879 Speaker 3: The other thing you can do is it can be 583 00:27:22,920 --> 00:27:26,680 Speaker 3: a totally internal experience, right Like you can walk into 584 00:27:26,680 --> 00:27:30,199 Speaker 3: this situation where you're really nervous and think about, like, 585 00:27:30,320 --> 00:27:32,840 Speaker 3: what are the things that are making me nervous or 586 00:27:32,880 --> 00:27:35,199 Speaker 3: what are the things that are odd and strange and 587 00:27:35,240 --> 00:27:38,000 Speaker 3: weird about this, and then maybe take some notes on them. 588 00:27:38,080 --> 00:27:41,080 Speaker 3: Maybe take mental notes and find ways that you can 589 00:27:41,359 --> 00:27:44,439 Speaker 3: yourself be delighted even if you're not sharing anything with 590 00:27:44,520 --> 00:27:47,959 Speaker 3: anyone else. Right, Like, if you walk into a party 591 00:27:48,600 --> 00:27:51,800 Speaker 3: and you don't know anyone there and you're really stressing 592 00:27:51,800 --> 00:27:53,560 Speaker 3: about it, one thing to do is to kind of 593 00:27:53,600 --> 00:27:57,320 Speaker 3: like walk around and just think like how do these 594 00:27:57,320 --> 00:27:59,240 Speaker 3: people know each other? And come up with a backstory 595 00:27:59,240 --> 00:28:00,879 Speaker 3: for them, and you don't have to share that with anyone. 596 00:28:00,920 --> 00:28:02,840 Speaker 3: It can just make it so now you're laughing. I 597 00:28:02,880 --> 00:28:04,320 Speaker 3: love to do this at the airport, is to just 598 00:28:04,400 --> 00:28:06,400 Speaker 3: see strangers and go, how do you think those two 599 00:28:06,480 --> 00:28:08,120 Speaker 3: Matt so, I think those are those are some big 600 00:28:08,119 --> 00:28:09,600 Speaker 3: things that I would say to those people is you 601 00:28:09,600 --> 00:28:11,360 Speaker 3: don't actually have to make it so that it's your 602 00:28:11,400 --> 00:28:14,640 Speaker 3: the center of attention, effect allowing other people to have 603 00:28:15,000 --> 00:28:17,879 Speaker 3: the attention and being generous with your laughter and with 604 00:28:18,200 --> 00:28:20,600 Speaker 3: your appreciation of humor is a real gift as well. 605 00:28:21,000 --> 00:28:25,520 Speaker 2: Humor is so important in platonic relationships, and it is 606 00:28:25,600 --> 00:28:30,159 Speaker 2: so essential in romantic relationships, probably even more essential. My 607 00:28:30,280 --> 00:28:34,199 Speaker 2: husband and I, if we're not laughing together, there's something wrong. 608 00:28:34,280 --> 00:28:35,760 Speaker 2: And I know that you and your wife have a 609 00:28:36,320 --> 00:28:39,680 Speaker 2: daily ritual that uses humor as a way for you 610 00:28:39,760 --> 00:28:43,400 Speaker 2: to stay connected, especially during stressful times. Can you walk 611 00:28:43,480 --> 00:28:45,880 Speaker 2: us through how that daily ritual started and what it 612 00:28:45,920 --> 00:28:46,680 Speaker 2: looks like for you. 613 00:28:47,240 --> 00:28:48,880 Speaker 3: Yeah, at the end of the day, we try and 614 00:28:48,920 --> 00:28:52,160 Speaker 3: find like five minutes, ten minutes, whatever, it's small amount 615 00:28:52,160 --> 00:28:54,680 Speaker 3: of time and just show each other something that we 616 00:28:54,720 --> 00:28:56,360 Speaker 3: think will make the other person laugh or that made 617 00:28:56,440 --> 00:28:58,560 Speaker 3: us laugh, so we can just bring something back, you know, 618 00:28:58,600 --> 00:29:02,400 Speaker 3: like pies bringing a shiny thing back to the nest. 619 00:29:02,440 --> 00:29:04,360 Speaker 3: Ours is like here's a funny video I saw, or 620 00:29:04,400 --> 00:29:06,680 Speaker 3: here's a story about a funny thing that happened with 621 00:29:06,720 --> 00:29:08,719 Speaker 3: a neighbor or that one of our kids did, and 622 00:29:09,000 --> 00:29:11,160 Speaker 3: have that just moment of like we're going to laugh together. 623 00:29:11,560 --> 00:29:13,800 Speaker 3: So that's what it is. And this started actually in 624 00:29:13,840 --> 00:29:18,840 Speaker 3: an incredibly serious dark time for us, and it was 625 00:29:18,840 --> 00:29:20,920 Speaker 3: a time where most of our day was very serious 626 00:29:21,080 --> 00:29:24,160 Speaker 3: and it was not fun and it was bad. And 627 00:29:25,040 --> 00:29:27,520 Speaker 3: what we tried to do is to just say, Okay, 628 00:29:28,200 --> 00:29:31,680 Speaker 3: we don't have to deny the reality here, but is 629 00:29:31,720 --> 00:29:35,280 Speaker 3: it possible that we can just find a release of humor, 630 00:29:35,360 --> 00:29:38,600 Speaker 3: of laughter, of something that is funny every day. Let's 631 00:29:38,600 --> 00:29:40,760 Speaker 3: just try for that, even if we don't succeed at that. 632 00:29:41,440 --> 00:29:46,960 Speaker 3: And I was actually amazed by how dramatic a difference 633 00:29:47,000 --> 00:29:48,920 Speaker 3: it made to have this time at the end of 634 00:29:49,000 --> 00:29:51,080 Speaker 3: the day where like that tension could get released, where 635 00:29:51,120 --> 00:29:54,000 Speaker 3: we could laugh together, where even on a really hard 636 00:29:54,080 --> 00:29:56,160 Speaker 3: day we could be like, Okay, but that was pretty 637 00:29:56,160 --> 00:29:58,200 Speaker 3: funny that this thing happened. And I think that kind 638 00:29:58,240 --> 00:30:01,040 Speaker 3: of small moment of laughter together makes a huge impact 639 00:30:01,080 --> 00:30:03,760 Speaker 3: for us in our day to day marriage. It's also 640 00:30:03,840 --> 00:30:07,520 Speaker 3: something that has you know, it's not just in relationships. 641 00:30:07,600 --> 00:30:11,520 Speaker 3: I talked to some nurses who help run a home 642 00:30:11,560 --> 00:30:13,880 Speaker 3: for the elderly in Hong Kong, and they ran this 643 00:30:13,920 --> 00:30:16,080 Speaker 3: program where a big part of the program was the 644 00:30:16,400 --> 00:30:19,440 Speaker 3: elderly people living in the home would collect things that 645 00:30:19,480 --> 00:30:24,680 Speaker 3: made them laugh, songs, cartoons, stories, jokes, and then they 646 00:30:24,680 --> 00:30:26,680 Speaker 3: would share them with the other people in this group, 647 00:30:26,800 --> 00:30:30,040 Speaker 3: and they found that it really dramatically made a difference 648 00:30:30,080 --> 00:30:34,400 Speaker 3: in people's sense of connection. In people's experience of pain 649 00:30:34,520 --> 00:30:38,360 Speaker 3: went down, people's experience of loneliness went down. So I 650 00:30:38,360 --> 00:30:42,000 Speaker 3: think this idea that like humor is a gift that 651 00:30:42,040 --> 00:30:44,360 Speaker 3: we can share with other people and that when we 652 00:30:44,440 --> 00:30:47,160 Speaker 3: do it can actually make us feel a lot better, 653 00:30:47,720 --> 00:30:50,840 Speaker 3: is something that I really That's one of the reasons 654 00:30:50,840 --> 00:30:52,880 Speaker 3: why I'm really trying to spread the gospel about this 655 00:30:53,080 --> 00:30:55,960 Speaker 3: is I think that it's not just about you, right 656 00:30:56,080 --> 00:30:59,600 Speaker 3: share that with other people. It's a uniquely social thing, 657 00:30:59,680 --> 00:31:03,600 Speaker 3: and it's something that we as humans were evolved to 658 00:31:03,840 --> 00:31:05,480 Speaker 3: enjoy and to want to enjoy together. 659 00:31:05,880 --> 00:31:10,200 Speaker 2: When I think of uniquely social experiences, laughter can be 660 00:31:10,320 --> 00:31:12,280 Speaker 2: the best party trick that you can pull out of 661 00:31:12,320 --> 00:31:14,320 Speaker 2: your bag, right, being able to make a group of 662 00:31:14,320 --> 00:31:18,000 Speaker 2: people laugh. And I'm thinking about a scenario like delivering 663 00:31:18,120 --> 00:31:20,720 Speaker 2: a maid of honor speech at a wedding. That's something 664 00:31:20,720 --> 00:31:23,800 Speaker 2: that you want to knock out of the park. What 665 00:31:23,840 --> 00:31:27,200 Speaker 2: would be your advice for someone who wants to craft 666 00:31:27,320 --> 00:31:30,160 Speaker 2: a speech like that in a really memorable and funny way. 667 00:31:30,760 --> 00:31:33,480 Speaker 3: Yeah, I think when you are giving a toast like 668 00:31:33,480 --> 00:31:35,680 Speaker 3: at a wedding or a birthday or something like that. 669 00:31:37,120 --> 00:31:39,920 Speaker 3: I always tell people that the biggest mistake you can 670 00:31:40,000 --> 00:31:42,960 Speaker 3: make in there is not actually not being funny. The 671 00:31:43,000 --> 00:31:45,720 Speaker 3: biggest mistake is forgetting that this is like an opportunity 672 00:31:45,760 --> 00:31:48,280 Speaker 3: to tell someone that you love them and why you 673 00:31:48,320 --> 00:31:51,160 Speaker 3: care about them and why you love them. So I 674 00:31:51,200 --> 00:31:54,680 Speaker 3: think it's actually a really good way of identifying an 675 00:31:54,720 --> 00:31:58,160 Speaker 3: important distinction between like positive humor and negative humor, which 676 00:31:58,200 --> 00:32:00,440 Speaker 3: is if you're making it about you or you're like 677 00:32:00,560 --> 00:32:02,840 Speaker 3: roasting them, that can often be kind of the bad 678 00:32:02,880 --> 00:32:05,200 Speaker 3: side of humor. The positive side of humor is the 679 00:32:05,240 --> 00:32:08,960 Speaker 3: humor that brings us together, that celebrates the connection, that 680 00:32:09,000 --> 00:32:12,280 Speaker 3: makes people feel included. So what I would say is 681 00:32:12,520 --> 00:32:16,840 Speaker 3: start with, here is what I love about you. Here's 682 00:32:16,880 --> 00:32:19,320 Speaker 3: why I am so glad that I am here and 683 00:32:19,360 --> 00:32:22,200 Speaker 3: that I am your friend. And the more specific that 684 00:32:22,280 --> 00:32:25,920 Speaker 3: you get, I bet you that you will find that 685 00:32:26,000 --> 00:32:28,840 Speaker 3: it is actually really funny without it being like quote 686 00:32:28,880 --> 00:32:32,080 Speaker 3: unquote a joke by being specific about what you love 687 00:32:32,120 --> 00:32:34,400 Speaker 3: about that person, because you know, everyone can say like, 688 00:32:34,440 --> 00:32:36,600 Speaker 3: I love how good a friend you are. Oh, I 689 00:32:36,640 --> 00:32:40,160 Speaker 3: love the way you are always there, I love the 690 00:32:40,200 --> 00:32:42,600 Speaker 3: things you cook, right, Like those are kind of generic, 691 00:32:42,640 --> 00:32:45,800 Speaker 3: but if you get specific often that's really funny. Like, 692 00:32:46,000 --> 00:32:50,200 Speaker 3: you know, one of the things that I'm so grateful for, Simon, 693 00:32:50,360 --> 00:32:53,400 Speaker 3: is to know you and to know that in your 694 00:32:53,520 --> 00:32:55,760 Speaker 3: sixty two open tabs that you have at any time, 695 00:32:56,600 --> 00:33:00,360 Speaker 3: three of those tabs are my previous addresses, and how 696 00:33:00,400 --> 00:33:02,000 Speaker 3: to ship a gift to me, because that's the kind 697 00:33:02,000 --> 00:33:04,960 Speaker 3: of thoughtful friend you are, right, How can you put 698 00:33:05,000 --> 00:33:08,600 Speaker 3: those real specific details in and make it so that 699 00:33:09,680 --> 00:33:12,680 Speaker 3: you are really talking honestly about that person? Because I 700 00:33:12,680 --> 00:33:15,160 Speaker 3: think that truth and that detail and that willingness to 701 00:33:15,240 --> 00:33:18,760 Speaker 3: laugh together combined to make the most memorable speeches, in 702 00:33:18,760 --> 00:33:19,600 Speaker 3: my opinion. 703 00:33:19,520 --> 00:33:20,600 Speaker 1: Such a great reminder. 704 00:33:20,880 --> 00:33:22,800 Speaker 2: One thing that I've noticed throughout this conversation with you 705 00:33:22,920 --> 00:33:26,320 Speaker 2: is you are teaching us how to develop a good 706 00:33:26,360 --> 00:33:26,960 Speaker 2: sense of humor. 707 00:33:27,000 --> 00:33:29,480 Speaker 1: But it's also a lot about unlearning. 708 00:33:29,360 --> 00:33:31,920 Speaker 2: Some of the things that we think we know about 709 00:33:32,000 --> 00:33:36,160 Speaker 2: humor that aren't necessarily true. So if our listeners walk 710 00:33:36,160 --> 00:33:39,560 Speaker 2: away with one insight today about humor that could change 711 00:33:39,560 --> 00:33:42,200 Speaker 2: the way they live or relate to others, what would 712 00:33:42,200 --> 00:33:42,800 Speaker 2: you want it to be? 713 00:33:43,160 --> 00:33:46,280 Speaker 3: Well, let me say this first, If you walk away 714 00:33:46,320 --> 00:33:48,360 Speaker 3: with one insight that can change the way you live 715 00:33:48,400 --> 00:33:51,200 Speaker 3: and relate to others. I am shocked, How did you 716 00:33:51,240 --> 00:33:53,840 Speaker 3: get that out of me? That's incredible. I'm so glad 717 00:33:53,880 --> 00:33:56,120 Speaker 3: that you got something that can change your life from me. 718 00:33:56,200 --> 00:33:59,320 Speaker 3: That's really incredible. But if I'm going to try and 719 00:33:59,360 --> 00:34:03,400 Speaker 3: give you one, I will say that I think one 720 00:34:03,440 --> 00:34:06,160 Speaker 3: of the biggest things for me that I am trying 721 00:34:06,200 --> 00:34:11,040 Speaker 3: to take away from this is this idea that you 722 00:34:11,320 --> 00:34:14,880 Speaker 3: are not supposed to be perfect, that you're supposed to 723 00:34:14,920 --> 00:34:20,000 Speaker 3: be fallible, that you're supposed to have weird problems and 724 00:34:20,120 --> 00:34:23,920 Speaker 3: things that are strange and not going right. That makes 725 00:34:23,960 --> 00:34:28,200 Speaker 3: you more likable, That makes you more connectable with other people, 726 00:34:28,239 --> 00:34:31,160 Speaker 3: That makes you funnier. So I think that idea that 727 00:34:31,200 --> 00:34:33,840 Speaker 3: we talked about, of like the person who had spilled 728 00:34:33,840 --> 00:34:35,800 Speaker 3: the coffee on their shirt, is actually the most desirable 729 00:34:35,840 --> 00:34:37,880 Speaker 3: candidate to me. That's the thing that I hope you 730 00:34:37,880 --> 00:34:41,000 Speaker 3: will take away, which is who you actually are is 731 00:34:41,000 --> 00:34:44,160 Speaker 3: better than the perfect version of who you might possibly 732 00:34:44,200 --> 00:34:46,120 Speaker 3: be if nothing ever went wrong. The more you can 733 00:34:46,160 --> 00:34:49,239 Speaker 3: be honest and true to who you actually are and 734 00:34:49,360 --> 00:34:51,359 Speaker 3: laugh about that, the more that that can then be 735 00:34:51,960 --> 00:34:53,719 Speaker 3: a thing that people see as your greatest strength. And 736 00:34:53,800 --> 00:34:54,480 Speaker 3: not a weakness. 737 00:34:54,880 --> 00:34:56,840 Speaker 2: And Chris, this is one question that I like to 738 00:34:56,840 --> 00:34:58,799 Speaker 2: ask all our guests here on the bright side, what's 739 00:34:58,800 --> 00:35:01,120 Speaker 2: one thing you're celebrating in your life right now? 740 00:35:01,360 --> 00:35:08,319 Speaker 3: Ooh, I am celebrating right now that I, despite my 741 00:35:09,080 --> 00:35:11,160 Speaker 3: home improvement efforts where I destroyed the wall and tried 742 00:35:11,160 --> 00:35:12,600 Speaker 3: to hang up the souncord, that I made it to 743 00:35:12,640 --> 00:35:14,640 Speaker 3: this interview and then I got to have this incredible 744 00:35:14,680 --> 00:35:18,680 Speaker 3: conversation with you and got to meet you. I really, honestly, 745 00:35:18,760 --> 00:35:21,120 Speaker 3: like all kidding aside, I'm in a moment in my 746 00:35:21,160 --> 00:35:25,640 Speaker 3: life where I feel like being able to be present 747 00:35:25,719 --> 00:35:27,440 Speaker 3: with someone else and like make it to a meeting 748 00:35:27,480 --> 00:35:30,160 Speaker 3: on time and have a conversation with someone who is 749 00:35:30,600 --> 00:35:32,600 Speaker 3: you know, outside of my home and meet someone new 750 00:35:32,640 --> 00:35:34,560 Speaker 3: like that feels like such an accomplishment in a way 751 00:35:34,560 --> 00:35:37,319 Speaker 3: that when I'm not in an intense periit of my life, 752 00:35:37,320 --> 00:35:39,480 Speaker 3: it doesn't. I feel like that's just normal. So I 753 00:35:39,520 --> 00:35:42,960 Speaker 3: really am celebrating like having an event on the calendar 754 00:35:43,040 --> 00:35:45,160 Speaker 3: that I made it to that and that was so 755 00:35:45,320 --> 00:35:48,680 Speaker 3: delightful Like this that feels like that feels like the 756 00:35:48,760 --> 00:35:50,319 Speaker 3: kind of small thing that actually is a really big thing. 757 00:35:50,760 --> 00:35:54,319 Speaker 1: You showed up. Man, Chris, you did it. Congratulations if 758 00:35:54,360 --> 00:35:55,200 Speaker 1: I achieved. 759 00:35:54,880 --> 00:35:57,200 Speaker 3: The bare minimum, and you know what I'm going to 760 00:35:57,280 --> 00:35:59,759 Speaker 3: celebrate to in the bare minimum because sometimes you have to. 761 00:36:00,239 --> 00:36:03,000 Speaker 2: No, we are celebrating doing the bare minimum, because if 762 00:36:03,000 --> 00:36:04,959 Speaker 2: the bare minimum is all you have on that day, 763 00:36:05,040 --> 00:36:06,800 Speaker 2: you did the maximum. 764 00:36:07,040 --> 00:36:10,359 Speaker 3: Yes, I listen, I have the Bear maximum is That 765 00:36:10,480 --> 00:36:11,640 Speaker 3: is the Chris Duffie story. 766 00:36:12,080 --> 00:36:14,600 Speaker 2: Hey, that's going to be your next book, The Bear. 767 00:36:15,640 --> 00:36:16,759 Speaker 2: Thanks for coming on the show. 768 00:36:17,000 --> 00:36:18,719 Speaker 3: Thank you so much for having me. You are a 769 00:36:18,760 --> 00:36:21,279 Speaker 3: really fantastic and thoughtful interviewer, and I really appreciate the 770 00:36:21,280 --> 00:36:22,120 Speaker 3: time and carry put in. 771 00:36:23,200 --> 00:36:26,400 Speaker 2: Chris Duffy is a comedian, podcast host and author of 772 00:36:26,440 --> 00:36:29,719 Speaker 2: the upcoming book Humor Me. It hits shelves this January 773 00:36:29,800 --> 00:36:35,719 Speaker 2: and it's available for pre order now. The bright Side 774 00:36:35,760 --> 00:36:38,719 Speaker 2: is a production of Hello, Sunshine and iHeart Podcasts and 775 00:36:38,840 --> 00:36:42,440 Speaker 2: is executive produced by Reese Witherspoon and me Simone Boyce. 776 00:36:42,840 --> 00:36:46,399 Speaker 2: Production is by a Cast Creative Studios. Our producers are 777 00:36:46,440 --> 00:36:50,640 Speaker 2: Taylor Williamson, Abby Delk, and Adrian Bain. Our production assistant 778 00:36:50,680 --> 00:36:55,040 Speaker 2: is Joya putnoy A Casts Executive producers are Jenny Kaplan 779 00:36:55,120 --> 00:36:58,840 Speaker 2: and Emily Rudder. Maureen Polo and Reese Witherspoon are the 780 00:36:58,880 --> 00:37:03,560 Speaker 2: executive producers Hello Sunshine. Ali Perry and Lauren Hansen are 781 00:37:03,600 --> 00:37:07,600 Speaker 2: the executive producers for iHeart Podcasts. Our theme song is 782 00:37:07,600 --> 00:37:10,000 Speaker 2: by Anna Stump and Hamilton Lighthouser.