Speaker 1: Are leaving.
Speaker 2: I you wanna way back home?
Speaker 3: Either way, we want to be there, doesn't matter how
Speaker 3: much baggage you claim, and give us time and a
Speaker 3: terminol and gay.
Speaker 4: We want to send you off inside. You wanna welcome
Speaker 4: you back home?
Speaker 1: Tell us all about it. We scared her?
Speaker 2: Was it fine? Now?
Speaker 1: Porn? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 3: Do you need ride?
Speaker 2: With Karen and Chris welcome to Do you need a ride?
Speaker 2: That's sighing next to me. It's Karen Kilgarriff. I'm Chris
Speaker 2: Fairbanks and I'm Karen. Yes, yeah, I mean we covered
Speaker 2: I ruined the I.
Speaker 1: Have to say. It is like the signature verbal signature.
Speaker 2: I am me, I am only Chris Fairbanks.
Speaker 1: Listen to the airport while we're we're still here.
Speaker 2: We're the sights and sounds of l a X just
Speaker 2: passing the international yates. See if you can pick out
Speaker 2: some accents, maybe German or Taiwanese.
Speaker 1: Or Winnipegean, which is where I just came up.
Speaker 2: How are the Winnipegans doing?
Speaker 1: I love them and I mean and I'm sincere when
Speaker 1: I say, there are some of the and I think
Speaker 1: it's kind of all of Canada. I'm slowly starting to
Speaker 1: understand how incredibly amazing Canada is, because it's like a
Speaker 1: country filled with librarians, like very reasonable, seemingly educated people
Speaker 1: who don't speak in loud tones and who listen. It's
Speaker 1: very strange and it was a very satisfying experience.
Speaker 2: Oh sure, mister buss ass, that's all I could think
Speaker 2: to call him, because he was rubbing against.
Speaker 1: Me, rubbing it up against you, and that was.
Speaker 2: What a rude. I have half a mind to call
Speaker 2: the hurtzmanal cap here's the.
Speaker 1: Thing that you might be in the that lane. Could
Speaker 1: you be in the shuttle lane?
Speaker 2: You're on his side?
Speaker 1: Well, I have to be. I can't believe I am
Speaker 1: the Devil's Advocate starring Keanu Reeves an al Pacino.
Speaker 2: Al Pacino is so good that he is. He gives
Speaker 2: a huge performance, not.
Speaker 1: A one, he gives. He gives the largest performance, al
Speaker 1: pacino size performance.
Speaker 2: I like how he yells a lot.
Speaker 1: Yeah you know why, because he does it in weird ways,
Speaker 1: like Christopher Walkin speaks. He yells with strange accents, which
Speaker 1: is kind of really the secret to acting. Yeah, it
Speaker 1: just kind of twisted around.
Speaker 2: Her ones vocal. I remember taking an acting class and
Speaker 2: she said, you kind of stay at the same volume me.
Speaker 2: I want you to occasionally get loud and then get quiet.
Speaker 2: And I'm like, oh, so, don't act like a normal human,
Speaker 2: right exactly. You're telling me not to act natural.
Speaker 1: You might have a little Canadian India gus truly. I mean,
Speaker 1: do you know what I'm talking about?
Speaker 2: People that are just kind of calm. I like to
Speaker 2: stay quiet like a nation of librarians. Yeah. No, I
Speaker 2: love every part of Canada I've been to, and that's
Speaker 2: Calgary and Quebec, yes, and some BC. I guess. I've
Speaker 2: been to most of the providences providences. I've been to
Speaker 2: Rhode Island.
Speaker 1: Provinces and then province.
Speaker 2: Where is Winnipeg for those who don't know, of course,
Speaker 2: I do.
Speaker 5: You know.
Speaker 1: I couldn't offhand. What I remember being told is we
Speaker 1: were kind of directly above Minnesota, Okay, and it's apparently
Speaker 1: one of the coldest cities in the world.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 1: It's further north than Siberia, wow, and colder than most places.
Speaker 2: Now, let's say you got hold of a Siberian tiger
Speaker 2: let's say you caught that tiger pike. Yes, and he
Speaker 2: hasn't hollered, so you've.
Speaker 1: So I don't have to let him go.
Speaker 2: No, no, not yet, but once he does, you could
Speaker 2: take a Siberian tiger and just take him to Winnipeg
Speaker 2: and he'd be like, ah, home sweet home.
Speaker 1: He might be like, oh, could you get me a
Speaker 1: tiger sweater?
Speaker 2: I would I do anything to make it tiger happy
Speaker 2: or just keep him from getting mad?
Speaker 1: Remember that part in did you ever see the movie
Speaker 1: Man Hunter? Which was a prequel to Silence of Lambs
Speaker 1: And it's an eighties movie very much.
Speaker 2: No, there's a prequel the Silence.
Speaker 1: Well, it's not an official prequel, but in the book
Speaker 1: series it is the prequel, but not the movies don't
Speaker 1: necessarily connect in any way.
Speaker 2: But it's like Shawshank Redemption as a prequel to the
Speaker 2: Body which became stand by Me. It's just in the
Speaker 2: same book.
Speaker 1: No, no, so different because that's like similar authors, and
Speaker 1: that's like the Stephen King world or whatever they call it. Yes,
Speaker 1: but this is actually Hannibal Elector is in Manhunter. Oh,
Speaker 1: but he is not the star and it's not about
Speaker 1: him his business. Well, it's kind of similar. It's his
Speaker 1: business handle elector eight. Have you been? Have you watched
Speaker 1: this TV series? It's so good?
Speaker 2: Should I? Yes?
Speaker 1: I one hundred percent recommend it. It's really graspuating.
Speaker 2: Wasn't it canceled and everyone was up in arms?
Speaker 1: Yes? Okay, but this this last season is just ending.
Speaker 1: But it's so gorgeously shot and beautifully are directed and
Speaker 1: like very thoughtful and the action crazy and it's very graphic.
Speaker 1: I think that's what people don't like or like. Probably
Speaker 1: what suits don't like about it is like literally every
Speaker 1: episode animal act or eats someone in a very gourmet,
Speaker 1: highly gourmet way.
Speaker 2: Oh wow, But it's it's.
Speaker 1: Very well written and well done.
Speaker 2: But I would love it already. I love Russian humans ee,
Speaker 2: the other humans.
Speaker 1: It's and beautifully like with a big it'll be like
Speaker 1: a big beautiful cabbage leaf underneath.
Speaker 2: And he's just presenting it for himself, like he makes no.
Speaker 1: He often is feeding it to other people they don't know.
Speaker 2: Oh see a guy did that in Great Falls, Montana
Speaker 2: once and I not to you, I guess in a
Speaker 2: TV movie or a series, it's okay, but no, just
Speaker 2: to some neighborhood people.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's horrifying.
Speaker 2: And then someone about my age was from Great Falls
Speaker 2: after a show in Boise, and she said, I'm from
Speaker 2: Great Falls. And every time I hear about Great Falls,
Speaker 2: I hear about that kid who was cooked up and
Speaker 2: served in the neighborhood banquet style. And she said, yeah,
Speaker 2: that was my neighbor. And she started to cry, and
Speaker 2: I'm like, well, I'm great with people.
Speaker 1: Hold on, no, I reject her doing that to you.
Speaker 2: She it was she didn't want to feel bad.
Speaker 1: How many years had it been.
Speaker 2: I don't know if she burst into tears, but she'd
Speaker 2: seemed very close.
Speaker 1: To the maybe put that on people though you show.
Speaker 2: Maybe she had a taste I may have.
Speaker 1: Really well, then she shouldn't leave her goddamn house.
Speaker 2: I still can't have meat low.
Speaker 1: I used to look hot dug so much. Now I
Speaker 1: can't have any dug.
Speaker 2: I'm so all your poor thing. That's why. That's why
Speaker 2: I say when cries, oh.
Speaker 1: Oh, bless your bless your little hearted. But I say
Speaker 1: when people cryst you're not allowed to put that on me.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's why I should don't put that ship on ma.
Speaker 1: Take take that ship back home and work it out
Speaker 1: until you can be out in public. That's my style.
Speaker 2: Are you so you did shows at some kind of festival?
Speaker 2: Am I right about that?
Speaker 1: Yes? It was the first year of the Winnipeg Comedy Festial,
Speaker 1: which is called the odd Block Festival of All not
Speaker 1: to be confused with the odd Ball No, although it
Speaker 1: probably helped them publicity wise.
Speaker 2: To confused, but just in case you're googling festivals and
Speaker 2: you start with.
Speaker 1: Oh, yes, that one would be the Meryl Streep to
Speaker 1: this young local talent, hot actress. But still in community theater.
Speaker 2: How were the comics in Winnipeg? I heard there's a
Speaker 2: lot of funny.
Speaker 1: People there there, there were great people there. I can't
Speaker 1: say that I saw. There was a couple like local shows, but.
Speaker 2: I was doing Latin themed shows.
Speaker 1: Locals only Oak. Don't you know local Wednesdays.
Speaker 2: Don't you know it sounds like I'm doing a racist voice.
Speaker 2: But that's from Cypress Hill.
Speaker 4: Oh.
Speaker 1: I was going to do Love's Blind Homegirl, and that's from.
Speaker 2: Me Vi to Loca. We started to Edward James almost
Speaker 2: has a smooth face. I've used that joke on the
Speaker 2: show before the game, I.
Speaker 1: Laughed, I do that though. That's kind of my thing.
Speaker 1: I enjoy your comedy.
Speaker 2: Thank you, thank you. I enjoy yours too, Oh my god,
Speaker 2: thank yous. Enjoy your company.
Speaker 1: They it seemed that they did. Here's the one funny
Speaker 1: thing that happened, because Drennan and I've been performing our
Speaker 1: songs together so much with.
Speaker 2: You on this strip were he was there, okay.
Speaker 1: But then we all they also booked us separately on shows.
Speaker 2: Oh cool.
Speaker 1: So there was one show and of course, as it
Speaker 1: happens at festivals. I don't know if any of our
Speaker 1: listeners have ever gone, but they're like, it's like shows
Speaker 1: all day long, for say, three days in a row,
Speaker 1: and so you kind of were like looking at a
Speaker 1: piece of paper, You're like, I've got one at seven,
Speaker 1: I've got one at nine, and I've got one at eleven. Whatever.
Speaker 1: So I kind of forgot that I had this show
Speaker 1: by myself, so I showed up. I went to the show.
Speaker 1: Because it was also a very small festival, so it
Speaker 1: was basically every show was Ria Butcher, Me, Drennan, Ron
Speaker 1: Lynch and like James Domain, and there was like base.
Speaker 1: They only had enough comedians to have three different combinations.
Speaker 2: Why did I think it was a damn funny ladies? Competition.
Speaker 1: Nope, there's there's an j All Jane No Dick, which
Speaker 1: is in Portland, I believe next.
Speaker 2: Time nothing to do with Winnipeg, okay, but North sure times.
Speaker 1: And Ria Butcher, who's Lario's participating, one of my She's
Speaker 1: one of my favorite people because I did uh. I
Speaker 1: just have gotten to hang out with her a lot
Speaker 1: lately because we were in Denver together at High Planes
Speaker 1: just the weekend before. I'm very I'm festivaled out. I
Speaker 1: will tell you that right now, are you? I just
Speaker 1: am too old. I don't want to hang around. I
Speaker 1: don't want to listen to fresh young comics who love
Speaker 1: to riff riffing presentationally anymore. All that has lost any
Speaker 1: amount of charm for me. Green rooms aren't. I don't
Speaker 1: love them. I just want to charge my phone and
Speaker 1: stare at Twitter. It's I'm just it's.
Speaker 2: Just and the way that I and most comics deal
Speaker 2: with it, it's like, well, let's get drunk so we
Speaker 2: can be comfortable with everyone talking at once. Yes, yeah,
Speaker 2: and that's what I do. And you don't have that luxury.
Speaker 1: I don't have that luxury, and I don't have the
Speaker 1: luxury of really anything right now, except for unfortunately, my
Speaker 1: main serious problem, which is sugar. And I don't know
Speaker 1: if you've ever had a Canadian KitKat.
Speaker 2: No, but I do know they do amazing things with
Speaker 2: our candies.
Speaker 1: Yes, Canada is doing it right because they're clearly using
Speaker 1: whole products and right making things taste delicious and not
Speaker 1: filling them with wax.
Speaker 2: And kit caught the kit cat, that's first of all,
Speaker 2: that's how they pronounce it. They put an ume land
Speaker 2: over the A, and by that I meant um lot. Wow,
Speaker 2: what the fuck's wrong with my brain?
Speaker 1: I like the idea of a fucking kit cat which
Speaker 1: is big enough to lay in and take a nap
Speaker 1: in and eat at the same time.
Speaker 2: But that's the best, right kit cat bite your Pillowiera
Speaker 2: and I love it. Yeah, they'll you'll buy the chocolate
Speaker 2: and it it tastes like the chocolate of a toe.
Speaker 1: Blar right, Yeah, exactly, It's very rich. But then the
Speaker 1: kitcat wafers had almost a very slight malted taste to them.
Speaker 1: It just tasted really good. And so the first one
Speaker 1: I had, they had like a tiny little store in
Speaker 1: the front of the hotel, the Alt Hotel, which is
Speaker 1: a very nice hotel, in Winnipeg. If you're going, I
Speaker 1: will completely plug them, because I thought it was gonna
Speaker 1: be kind of gross.
Speaker 2: The old hotel sponsored all hotel.
Speaker 1: They like to use primary colors and fancy chairs made
Speaker 1: of rope. I can't explain it.
Speaker 2: Not rope chairs, it's all the hotel will leave a
Speaker 2: light on for you. Whoops, we're being sued.
Speaker 1: So they had. I would be like, everyone would be
Speaker 1: hanging out and they'd start the next show and they'd
Speaker 1: be like, yeah, let's go do this, and then I'd
Speaker 1: be like, totally, I'll see you in one minute, and
Speaker 1: I would get into a mini van and make some
Speaker 1: child drive me back to the hotel.
Speaker 2: Oh you Irish goodbye and nothing. Every times but the
Speaker 2: parties early without telling anyone.
Speaker 1: I'm proud of it because I don't owe anybody anything
Speaker 1: at this point.
Speaker 2: And the thing is, I always noticed when Howard Kramer
Speaker 2: always did that. When I moved here, I'd be hanging
Speaker 2: out with him. Then he just spared, and I called it,
Speaker 2: where'd you go? Worried about as well? Being yeah, there
Speaker 2: went home? Then well then I'd have to say goodbye
Speaker 2: and everybody, and I didn't want to have to part
Speaker 2: of that you'll be doing it soon.
Speaker 1: Part of it too, I mean, part of it is
Speaker 1: just it's self preservation and it's it's for sanity of
Speaker 1: like then you you don't want to get into these
Speaker 1: rounds of like goodbye, No, we'd have to.
Speaker 2: Talk to you about one thing whatever, no, thank you.
Speaker 1: But the other thing is, which I believe Howard and
Speaker 1: I both suffer from, is self importance, where we really
Speaker 1: think people are gonna make a big deal, so we
Speaker 1: gotta do this thing just you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: Like there is a bit of a self aggrandizement concept
Speaker 1: of I have to irish goodbye, right or everyone will
Speaker 1: just tear it my sweater because I'm so popular. It's
Speaker 1: a little bit of that. But at this thing, it's
Speaker 1: more like they're doing shows, and truly, I'm I know
Speaker 1: for a fact, people don't give a shit. It's not
Speaker 1: like they're gonna be like care and stick around because
Speaker 1: all anyone's doing is comedy for other people.
Speaker 2: I think that you're probably being realistic, I think I am.
Speaker 2: I mean at the level of how much do they
Speaker 2: want you? Are they going to be clawing, are they
Speaker 2: really gonna hurt your sweater, right? Or are they just
Speaker 2: gonna bore you with their thoughts on comedy, which is
Speaker 2: bad enough.
Speaker 1: It's pretty bad. I mean, there was a couple of
Speaker 1: people there that it was fun to see, and like
Speaker 1: Michelle Buteau was there, who's one of my favorite people.
Speaker 1: Such a hilarious comedian and such a I just could
Speaker 1: spend every day with her.
Speaker 2: I'm guessing by the way you pronounce her name, i'd
Speaker 2: have trouble spelling it.
Speaker 1: Uh you eau, Yeah, a little bit. If you don't
Speaker 1: know her from stand up in New York coll I
Speaker 1: know her from cipling. No, I don't know.
Speaker 2: I should I don't know a lot of New Yorkers. Actually,
Speaker 2: I need to go there more.
Speaker 1: Michelle and Riha and I were like a posse that
Speaker 1: sounds and we had a great time.
Speaker 2: I like Rea skateboards.
Speaker 1: She's hilarious, truly, so fun.
Speaker 2: She was a little skate rat.
Speaker 1: That's right. I saw those pictures on Twitter. Yeah, so
Speaker 1: we had the girls had a good time, and then
Speaker 1: once they both left on the same day, and then
Speaker 1: I was like, all right, well anyhow, but it was
Speaker 1: a very fun and I met We have a big
Speaker 1: fan in Winnipeg named Ian. I don't remember your last
Speaker 1: name Ian. I I'm not sure his Twitter is Twitter
Speaker 1: avatar is crazy. It looks like he's standing on stage
Speaker 1: doing comedy, but he's with like a like a couga
Speaker 1: clock on his head.
Speaker 2: Oh I wish we could. We're always given shout outs,
Speaker 2: but then we don't. I know, we don't know the details.
Speaker 1: Name, but I know the details, but you don't. I
Speaker 1: got to meet him in real life, but he was there,
Speaker 1: came to all my shows. Is a big fan of
Speaker 1: the podcast and a fan of Drennan and my songs,
Speaker 1: and it was just cool. It was nice to have
Speaker 1: a fan.
Speaker 2: I guess right now it's time we apologize for not
Speaker 2: having an episode last Monday. This Monday. But but we've
Speaker 2: been busy. I have a job job now, Chris has
Speaker 2: a job job. It's a job job. I wake up,
Speaker 2: stay late job job, every day job. And well, you know,
Speaker 2: I'm getting used.
Speaker 1: To it, and we're doing our best, and.
Speaker 2: We both have had weekend gigs.
Speaker 1: And here's what I love though, I will say this.
Speaker 1: I love that this is not we're not just doing
Speaker 1: this in evacuuming up our own ass, like we're being
Speaker 1: idiots or self indulgent. I love that people actually complain
Speaker 1: to us if we don't put this out, because that
Speaker 1: means it actually means something to people other than just you.
Speaker 1: And yeah, that's very nice.
Speaker 2: At least two people out there that look that get
Speaker 2: upset and our voicing. Who knows how many other dozens
Speaker 2: aren't saying anything about it.
Speaker 1: They might even be angrier and they can't talk because
Speaker 1: their faces.
Speaker 2: Are so red because theirs are shaking.
Speaker 1: They want to murder using our part.
Speaker 2: Oh god, let's keep doing it. That sounds terrible.
Speaker 1: Yes, we are all going to be mood anyway. Sorry.
Speaker 1: So that was nice and it was just a fun thing.
Speaker 1: It was like, it was very cool to be in
Speaker 1: a different country but not have to fly on a
Speaker 1: plane for that long and have a legitimately different vibe
Speaker 1: of culture and of like.
Speaker 2: Because a lot of people scoff at the idea of that,
Speaker 2: because you go to Calgary and it doesn't seem that different.
Speaker 2: It just seems like a laid back town in Texas
Speaker 2: because there's oil buildings everywhere, a gas company. But the
Speaker 2: part of Canada you were in, did it feel European
Speaker 2: at all?
Speaker 1: Other than no, you know what, it felt like that
Speaker 1: was different to me. I kept tripping every time I
Speaker 1: walked in anywhere, because there's a little ledge everywhere you
Speaker 1: walk in because of snow. So you know, like nothing's
Speaker 1: just flat flat once you know what I mean, You're
Speaker 1: you have to step up to go into any restaurant.
Speaker 1: And so the first day I was there, I tripped
Speaker 1: pretty much everywhere I walked into. But there were things
Speaker 1: like that I noticed.
Speaker 2: They call that the American shovels to come in.
Speaker 1: Oh I heard people talking behind my back, That's what
Speaker 1: they were saying. Yeah, she shuffled on in. But it's
Speaker 1: the kind of place that you can tell. And maybe
Speaker 1: this is just because I'm from California and so snow
Speaker 1: places look similar to me, like the one first time
Speaker 1: I was in Madison or whatever, where like the roofs
Speaker 1: have a certain angle. All the buildings are very flat fronted.
Speaker 1: You're not gonna have a thing on the front of
Speaker 1: your building and it's gonna collect snow, right sure, things
Speaker 1: like that. The cars all seem new, maybe because they
Speaker 1: rust out so fast.
Speaker 2: And there's probably basements. You know, the only reason for basements,
Speaker 2: it's because the has to be six feet underground.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, so don't freeze.
Speaker 2: So around here, pipes don't freeze. Nope, no need for
Speaker 2: basements except maybe storage. But screw you. You got pipe,
Speaker 2: You can afford a storage unit. You don't have to
Speaker 2: huddle up in the winter, right, So you're working during
Speaker 2: the winter, whereas you know in Montana people just hide
Speaker 2: behind their beards and flannel.
Speaker 1: The idea, though, of living in a snow environment is
Speaker 1: borderline romantic to me now because I've only ever done
Speaker 1: it once, and it was in New York City. Yeah,
Speaker 1: the coldest it got was ten and I couldn't stop laughing.
Speaker 1: I got off the subway. I thought it felt like
Speaker 1: I was in a jar of liisteringe and I laughed
Speaker 1: all the way to the front door of my work.
Speaker 1: Oh my eyes were watering, and it was like when
Speaker 1: I inhaled. It felt crazy and I'd never it was
Speaker 1: like being on a different planet. I'd never experienced anything
Speaker 1: like that before, and I loved it. So it appeals
Speaker 1: to me the idea of a a very snowbound lifestyle
Speaker 1: because it's so different.
Speaker 2: It was part of my life forever. I would spend
Speaker 2: year round some years where it was snowing. Just take
Speaker 2: really take my body to Oregon, even in the summertime
Speaker 2: and go to snowboard camps. And it was so important
Speaker 2: to me to be around snow and probably the most.
Speaker 1: Important, and it was snowboarding.
Speaker 2: It was the Yeah, it was just to be able
Speaker 2: to snowboard all the time. I snowboarded like it was
Speaker 2: my job, but it really wasn't.
Speaker 1: Did you ever get sponsored?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 2: I you know, my cousin Ross rode for K two
Speaker 2: and so he got free stuff and then I got
Speaker 2: stuffed through him.
Speaker 1: And oh nice.
Speaker 2: So you just made it easier. But it is an
Speaker 2: expensive sport. It's like golfing or something. It's like you're
Speaker 2: spending a lot of money for I used to live
Speaker 2: in Oregon, just buy a pass and live off saltines
Speaker 2: in the lodge.
Speaker 1: And fucking love saltines though.
Speaker 2: But every day I don't know how I survived. And
Speaker 2: just hiking every day. Oh and always having energy. That's
Speaker 2: that's a story about a twenty year old person.
Speaker 1: Also where now, if you did get protein, where would
Speaker 1: you get some protein?
Speaker 2: I would buy TVP, which is textured vegetable protein. It
Speaker 2: comes in powder form, you add water and then put
Speaker 2: it in a pan. I seriously ate that one winter
Speaker 2: every day.
Speaker 1: What the fuck. Is that like.
Speaker 2: It is? Yeah, it's it's a texture vegetable. It's it's
Speaker 2: even poorer. You can buy it in bulk. I just
Speaker 2: had a giant bag of dry powder that was my dinner,
Speaker 2: and I didn't really complain. I think it was actually
Speaker 2: pretty healthy because I was eating the same thing every day,
Speaker 2: like someone training for something.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but who would eat that normally?
Speaker 2: Sorry, someone that probably doesn't also drink malt liquor every night.
Speaker 2: So I was. I was solid muscle, but I had
Speaker 2: a nice belly on me, just to give that fun
Speaker 2: that uh, extra extra kiss if I don't quite care
Speaker 2: enough about myself.
Speaker 1: Or maybe it might look like you at a parasitic twin.
Speaker 1: Just maybe, yes, just because everything else made so much sense.
Speaker 2: A parasitic worm with my face, just gorging away snowboard beer.
Speaker 1: Feed me, feed me beer at snowboards.
Speaker 2: I wish I had arms and legs, but I'm just sedimentary.
Speaker 1: So I will rule you. I have all kinds of
Speaker 1: political aspirations.
Speaker 2: It's all. What if you have an evil typeworm that
Speaker 2: just was hell bent on ruling the world, buddy is
Speaker 2: caught in your body, Yeah, it would at least give you.
Speaker 1: Indigestion in the very least, you'd be worried, just.
Speaker 2: A little power hungry Trump.
Speaker 1: I don't know if we've talked about this, but that
Speaker 1: idea of a tapeworm with your face very much upsets me.
Speaker 2: Oh, it's the worst ever since I brought it up.
Speaker 1: Have you been as upset as.
Speaker 2: For the past minute.
Speaker 1: Yes, I am krrying because do you remember that book? Well,
Speaker 1: I saw it as a book, but it was also
Speaker 1: the movie called Freaks, and it was the circus people,
Speaker 1: and then the people went to the circus and they
Speaker 1: ended up like it's it's an old like a movie
Speaker 1: from the thirties, and it features all of these circus
Speaker 1: performers who so it's like, you know, the very a
Speaker 1: very the tiniest man in the world. It was maybe
Speaker 1: Tom Thumb. I'm not. This is all so vague, And
Speaker 1: there's people out there that are so livid right now
Speaker 1: because they know all the names and they love it
Speaker 1: and or they're.
Speaker 2: Gonna look it up and act like they know it.
Speaker 1: Right, Well, let me call the people out really fucking
Speaker 1: getting in their faces, like.
Speaker 2: Daddy and what's your last name? We should know? Take
Speaker 2: that fan? He would never he wouldn't you know him
Speaker 2: better than I do?
Speaker 1: Uh? Yeah, I know really well. Well, but there was
Speaker 1: a man in that series and he they called him
Speaker 1: the Worm, and he not only was a little person,
Speaker 1: he was very very little and he had no arms
Speaker 1: or legs, so he was literally ahead on a body
Speaker 1: of a stump. And his thing was that he could
Speaker 1: roll cigarettes with his mouth.
Speaker 2: That was his power.
Speaker 1: Well, like that was his yeah, I mean, like and
Speaker 1: the second I saw him in that book, like because
Speaker 1: when I was young, I used to love morbid curiosities
Speaker 1: like that, Like I was very fascinated about those kinds
Speaker 1: of things until I saw that guy, and then I
Speaker 1: was like, that is very upsetting.
Speaker 2: Yeah, just so he's a worm like man.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, like, you know, there was a person
Speaker 1: that took care of him well, because the thing that
Speaker 1: bothered me was you could just pick him up if
Speaker 1: you wanted to.
Speaker 2: I kind of understand why you would smoke. His smoking's
Speaker 2: bad for your circulation and over time people have cold
Speaker 2: tingling extremities fingertips. He didn't have to worry about that.
Speaker 2: Smoke away, Johnny.
Speaker 1: That's right, And it made him look cool because he's like, oh,
Speaker 1: you think I'm just a worm man. We'll check this
Speaker 1: shit out. I can do a thing that almost no
Speaker 1: one can do. Roll a cigarette.
Speaker 2: Now, was there a smoking worm in Alice? In Wonderland?
Speaker 1: There was a smoking centipede guy. Yes, he had tons
Speaker 1: of legs.
Speaker 2: Centipedes are like worms to me, with legs, lots of
Speaker 2: millions of legs.
Speaker 1: It's they're basically equal opposites.
Speaker 2: Misfits of science. Do you remember that show?
Speaker 1: I remember the name.
Speaker 2: There was a Courtney Cox I think could become invisible.
Speaker 2: That was Courtney Cox was in Okay. And then there
Speaker 2: was another huge guy that could get very small. That's
Speaker 2: all I remember. But it sounds like Freaks. Sounds like
Speaker 2: it was based off of Freaks.
Speaker 1: It was, yes, except for they were just from the thirties.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think could play it after a greatest American hero.
Speaker 1: Like literally one of the freaks was just a super
Speaker 1: fat lady.
Speaker 2: That now, well that's not yeah, nowadays we don't say that.
Speaker 2: You would just call her a modern woman.
Speaker 1: Hey what hey, God, damn it.
Speaker 2: That's no, it's it's not. I'm it's just because I
Speaker 2: have a beard, and I don't know why you've never
Speaker 2: dressed it.
Speaker 1: I'm glad you because so I can wear a tuxedo
Speaker 1: on the weekend half.
Speaker 2: Half tuxedo half wedding dress. It's like to be that
Speaker 2: person have the dress on the beard side, just to
Speaker 2: mess with people.
Speaker 1: Well, that's called RuPaul's drag race, my friend.
Speaker 2: I know a lot of people do it these days
Speaker 2: because the new look, it's almost like a hipster drag
Speaker 2: look these days, is to be this insanely gorgeous woman.
Speaker 1: But that I mean, I shouldn't say that. An insanely
Speaker 1: gorgeous person that looks like a woman but has a
Speaker 1: total hipster beard. You got it? These days, they you
Speaker 1: have to.
Speaker 2: I think, Well, it's not like you're going to go
Speaker 2: up to someone and say, how do you identify yourself?
Speaker 1: I would? I guess, I guess I'll start, I mean,
Speaker 1: or you can just hang out until they say something
Speaker 1: thing or learn their name. I think maybe learning people's
Speaker 1: names is the key.
Speaker 2: Yeah, oh god, we all know. I'm bad at that.
Speaker 1: I know. Then then you're saying someone's name over and
Speaker 1: over like a weird cult leader who wants that.
Speaker 2: I don't even like it. During news interviews, when someone
Speaker 2: goes they're on laddermen and they're like, well, David. You know, David,
Speaker 2: I uh, and that's basically the story. David. Yeah, stop
Speaker 2: doing that little gimmick. Well, see right through it. If
Speaker 2: you say my name hated when people the same.
Speaker 1: Name me, same here, what are you trying to get
Speaker 1: for me? Keep your hands out of my wallet?
Speaker 2: Yeah, just yelled at.
Speaker 1: But so you can just drop me off here on
Speaker 1: the four or five.
Speaker 2: Dishambled, disheveled, dis shredded tire. Get inside it. Act like
Speaker 2: that baby. Act like the baby.
Speaker 1: Act like a baby from Michelin. You called it dishambled,
Speaker 1: which might be my favorite word now. Oh, it's so
Speaker 1: dishambled over here.
Speaker 2: I love making up where I find that I do
Speaker 2: it a lot now that I'm in a room of
Speaker 2: a room of writing. I say things and I realized
Speaker 2: because I'm talking out loud and I'm hearing myself talk
Speaker 2: more often. Yes, and I'd noticed it a little when
Speaker 2: we're doing this, but I sometimes just don't know what
Speaker 2: the hell I'm saying.
Speaker 1: Karen, you just get a whole new word coming out. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I love it. Is that room fun and be careful,
Speaker 1: becaus this will be recorded forever and most of the
Speaker 1: people you work with listen to.
Speaker 2: Our I've had a lot of fun. We laugh, and
Speaker 2: ideas are had. There's times where we're on a roll.
Speaker 2: But the hard part is coming up with ideas and
Speaker 2: really and them not being approved. Yes, because it is
Speaker 2: a pilot and the network has a lot of opinions
Speaker 2: on what the show should be that aren't necessarily what
Speaker 2: we want to make, which is something that is in
Speaker 2: all comedy. It also has to be informational. So yeah,
Speaker 2: coming up with factual things and then basing jokes off
Speaker 2: it isn't It's like I don't know. I mean we're learning.
Speaker 2: I'm learning.
Speaker 1: Yes, Well that's how it is on pilots. Yeah, you
Speaker 1: just everyone. I think oftentimes even the network doesn't really
Speaker 1: know what they want. They just keep saying that they
Speaker 1: don't want until something takes shape.
Speaker 2: Yeah. It's when I was doing art for a living.
Speaker 2: That was so common that people, just to validate their position,
Speaker 2: would say, no, they know what they don't want, but
Speaker 2: they couldn't begin to describe what they do want. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and then so you'd end up drawing a bunch of
Speaker 2: different things or designing other versions of it based on
Speaker 2: their feedback, and ultimately they end up liking the first
Speaker 2: thing you ever showed them.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I.
Speaker 2: Think that hopefully that happens here a little bit.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because nobody's going to go with the first thing.
Speaker 1: I mean that just illogical to You have to just
Speaker 1: kind of suss out all options.
Speaker 2: Yeah. No, one's willing to believe that your first idea
Speaker 2: might be your best because it's your because.
Speaker 1: It's the first. Yeah, and it's and you look at
Speaker 1: it as like, eventually you look at it. It's it's
Speaker 1: fun to think of nine options and then if you
Speaker 1: have to go back to the first one, fine, But
Speaker 1: like the fun and the game and the talent everybody
Speaker 1: has is the ability to come up with endless amount
Speaker 1: of choices.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and it's kind of fun to do that because
Speaker 2: then when you do come up with another one that's
Speaker 2: a variation, that's better. It feels even better because it
Speaker 2: was teamwork.
Speaker 1: It really is a fun thing.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's hard for me just in general. Oh sorry too, No, no,
Speaker 2: to Yeah, to assemble an idea with people, Is that
Speaker 2: what you're gonna say?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Group writing, Yeah, you have to get used to
Speaker 1: it because you you're you were such a like one
Speaker 1: man band when you did World Stumbas.
Speaker 2: Yeah, with the symbols and then I trumpet, and then.
Speaker 1: You wouldn't even work with a monkey.
Speaker 2: No selfish, I needed something grinded, but I yeah, it's
Speaker 2: it's been interesting working with others. It's been interesting going
Speaker 2: into a room that is just has a table and
Speaker 2: no windows, and I don't smoke or anything. There's no
Speaker 2: like brakes. I you know, I'm thinking of just periodically
Speaker 2: getting up and doing sit ups or jumping jacks because
Speaker 2: I'm already feeling quite sedentary. And yes, it's thet drive there.
Speaker 2: My back jiggles a little more because I've lost musculature.
Speaker 1: Yes, so it's true. It's a very well also, well
Speaker 1: you're not this anyway, but like I'm already like a
Speaker 1: stress eater or like an emotional eater, so then you
Speaker 1: get into that kind of thing of like when you
Speaker 1: do leave the room, it's to go get something or
Speaker 1: suddenly you have these weird cravings exactly, and then you're fighting.
Speaker 2: Now, yes, it's happening. I've been either there's these bags
Speaker 2: of little chewy fruits. Yes, and I'm not a candy
Speaker 2: own of a sweet tooth, and I'm developing one out
Speaker 2: of boredom. Yeah, hopefully be nice, mister Carr, you did it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, uh no, that's that can be the worst part.
Speaker 1: I started drinking a lot of green tea. But my
Speaker 1: problem is just I always balance, like anxiety or any
Speaker 1: kind of negative feeling. My answer has always ingest something yeah,
Speaker 1: instead of like me write it out and just you know, understandable.
Speaker 2: Yeah. The reasons you decided not to drink anymore, I
Speaker 2: have the same why. I'm pretty addictive, I think, And
Speaker 2: I don't need it to be coffee all day because
Speaker 2: my ass is gonna fall.
Speaker 1: Out of it.
Speaker 2: It's just going to drop out.
Speaker 1: But it really does do something in the morning. I mean,
Speaker 1: it really does get your brain going and get your
Speaker 1: kind of like when you have to be hyper. It's
Speaker 1: like that commedy thing you have to be in a
Speaker 1: little spazzy state to kind of let good things.
Speaker 2: It took me a few days to start blurting. I
Speaker 2: think I get kind of shy and I'll have an
Speaker 2: idea of that. I'm like, it's going to be dumb.
Speaker 2: But now I just let the dumb ideas fly like
Speaker 2: I do on this podcast.
Speaker 1: Right. Well, I told Jamie that on the first day
Speaker 1: she was she just reported back to me of like
Speaker 1: here's this and here's that. And then I said, is
Speaker 1: Chris quiet? And she said he was kind of quiet,
Speaker 1: and I said, yep, he's going to do that until
Speaker 1: like you just wait till the end of the week
Speaker 1: because I know that you're exactly like me in that way,
Speaker 1: where like when I'm in a question mark situation, I
Speaker 1: just wait. I let everybody else, do you know what
Speaker 1: I mean? Like, that's my thing is just kind of
Speaker 1: like you hang back. Yeah, then once you get comfortable,
Speaker 1: people cannot man it make me shut up.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I'm just starting to get to where it's like, Okay,
Speaker 2: I'm a valid part of this.
Speaker 1: Let me speak my mind, but you need to. It's
Speaker 1: almost like I always need to know exactly what the
Speaker 1: game is, you know what I mean, like instead of
Speaker 1: just like hey, what about this that like I hate
Speaker 1: being wrong so much that I have to know the
Speaker 1: full perimeter, right, I don't know saying.
Speaker 2: Yeah no or your your kind of voice in the room.
Speaker 2: Mine has been people are setting up an idea and
Speaker 2: I blurred out what the person should should say, trying
Speaker 2: to get a laugh in the room. But I'm, you know, structure.
Speaker 2: I think I need to leave to other people because
Speaker 2: I'm schizophrenic. Schizophrenic. Nope, okay, I wasn't asking him.
Speaker 1: Oh you're asking the other voice.
Speaker 2: See that's a classic one two bit.
Speaker 1: It was good.
Speaker 2: Oh it's Cat's Gillon, Cat's skillion. It's Cat's Gillion. Am
Speaker 2: I going the right?
Speaker 1: I'm going Yeah, you're gonna have to get all the
Speaker 1: way over to the left pretty much.
Speaker 2: I am going some time right when we're done, purchase gasoline.
Speaker 1: Okay, weird.
Speaker 2: Hey, I think there's a few things we should know.
Speaker 2: This podcast is going.
Speaker 1: Okay, right, I feel great about it.
Speaker 2: I guess who's driving O.
Speaker 1: Chris Fairbanks is driving? Yeah, and sound manning.
Speaker 2: And also we were at Lax there was a lot
Speaker 2: of traffic and didn't who didn't fly off the engines?
Speaker 1: Chris Fairbanks? Yeah, not one time.
Speaker 2: Yeah. And I think it's you know, I'm learning to
Speaker 2: play well with myself.
Speaker 1: That's private.
Speaker 4: Well.
Speaker 1: Also it's that I was actually super tense because all
Speaker 1: day long I've thought today was Sunday, and because it's
Speaker 1: just one of those weird.
Speaker 2: Like, right, we were planning home on a Sunday, meaning
Speaker 2: we would have had the podcast.
Speaker 1: That's okay, But also that's the terrible night at LAX.
Speaker 1: And even though it's not great right now, what certainly.
Speaker 2: Wasn't as terrible Monday?
Speaker 1: Was its Monday worse than Sunday.
Speaker 2: I don't know, you're right, because.
Speaker 1: Sunday's the end of the weekend. Yeah, so at least
Speaker 1: it wasn't. I mean, it was like ninety percent awful,
Speaker 1: but at least it was ninety eight percent off.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I always come back on Sunday. Yeah, certainly all
Speaker 2: the comics are coming back on Sunday.
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, okay, And actually he I asked him to
Speaker 1: do the podcast. He had already gotten a ride, but
Speaker 1: he wants to do it.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, that would have been great if he just
Speaker 2: jumped in. But we can have him in the future. Yes, terrific.
Speaker 1: This was my time, my time. It's actually fun to
Speaker 1: legitimately be getting a ride home from you, though.
Speaker 2: Isn't it it? Have we have? Have we done it
Speaker 2: like this?
Speaker 1: I can't remember.
Speaker 2: I can't remember. If maybe someone out there could tell
Speaker 2: us which episode.
Speaker 1: I've been driven home before it was just.
Speaker 2: Karen and I. Did we drive Karen home from l
Speaker 2: A X I don't think answer that, and you get
Speaker 2: a free pillow case filed with soap. Yes, nuts this okay,
Speaker 2: no scared of this. Oh, certainly I will appear drunk now,
Speaker 2: I'm just drifting like i'm driving in.
Speaker 1: What have you been doing?
Speaker 2: Work?
Speaker 1: Sorry?
Speaker 2: Working? But also site's been doing some stand up still
Speaker 2: I'm trying to keep doing that. I've been doing warm
Speaker 2: up for the comments section, which has kind of become fun.
Speaker 2: I've like a headset and the guy's like, Okay, we're
Speaker 2: gonna need applause out of breaking.
Speaker 1: How many have you done?
Speaker 2: I think six of them?
Speaker 1: Oh, that's great, and.
Speaker 2: It's I'm starting to get the hang of it. I'm
Speaker 2: realizing you don't just do your jokes, you you. I
Speaker 2: literally have to make the audience laugh the second, third,
Speaker 2: or fourth time they've heard the same joke. Yeah, and
Speaker 2: yell at them like fourth graders, which is weird because
Speaker 2: some of them are people I know that aren't being
Speaker 2: paid to be there. Yeah, but other audience member studio
Speaker 2: audiences are often paid, and often they're just like just
Speaker 2: move to La from Ukraine. Yes, And maybe the jokes
Speaker 2: aren't hitting for them, and.
Speaker 1: Maybe English isn't their first language, maybe they're on a
Speaker 1: tiny bit of smack, or it's just.
Speaker 2: An audience person that's simply on smack.
Speaker 1: And it's a simple ast smack.
Speaker 2: It's a simplest smack.
Speaker 1: Oftentimes in this town.
Speaker 2: They have they have they have billboards.
Speaker 1: Actually, I'm very proud that you're doing you're still doing that,
Speaker 1: because I think warm up is the hardest job there is.
Speaker 2: It's fun. I mean, it's an opportunity to get paid
Speaker 2: to kind of do stand up in town. And also
Speaker 2: it's it's forcing me to fill a lot of time
Speaker 2: and not worry ready and not have jokes. And yeah,
Speaker 2: it's made me tell stories that I think will turn
Speaker 2: into jokes. And it's been nothing but enjoyable.
Speaker 1: That's great.
Speaker 2: I like being busy, Karen, look at.
Speaker 1: You, Johnny. Two jobs.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Jimmy, Jimmy, two chaps. Can I be Jimmy? Sorry
Speaker 2: it's your middle name is James?
Speaker 1: Oh yes, absolutely? How about Jimmers, let's not be crazy
Speaker 1: about it. That's what I call my dad when when
Speaker 1: he's mad, to make him a little more mad. Jimmers,
Speaker 1: what's wrong? It off?
Speaker 2: That's my dad's name to jimmers.
Speaker 1: Did you ever throw jimmers at him?
Speaker 2: I haven't yet.
Speaker 1: It's fun. He'll really gum up the works.
Speaker 2: Sometimes sometimes I call him Jimmy, Jim Jim. That's his
Speaker 2: second wife's.
Speaker 1: She would say that, how many wives has he had?
Speaker 2: What's that?
Speaker 1: How many wives does he have?
Speaker 2: His third wife? And when my dad first got married
Speaker 2: the second time, so I guess not the first.
Speaker 1: Time, the second time first got remarried.
Speaker 2: Yes, when he first got remarried, I was a little
Speaker 2: nervous because he's they were very excited, you know, out
Speaker 2: of their first marriages, divorced, and then so excited that
Speaker 2: they were matching Rugby shirts. Uh, you know, that took
Speaker 2: its start. But we went to a therapy forum. We
Speaker 2: went to a landmark seminar, and I said, I hate
Speaker 2: these shirts. He's like, okay, son, don't stop wearing rugby
Speaker 2: shirts that you know. Like, sometimes it seems like someone
Speaker 2: will have two kids and they aren't twins, but they
Speaker 2: just want to dress them up the same yea, Or
Speaker 2: are they fraternal because the one has the red hair? No, No,
Speaker 2: we just dressed them up.
Speaker 1: It's just easier for me to see them in a group.
Speaker 2: Well you are, you don't know, you're doing irreptable damage
Speaker 2: to their development as an adult. You might as well
Speaker 2: give them.
Speaker 1: These rifles boo. But in your case, it was your
Speaker 1: parents that were wearing matching shirts.
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, yeah, yeah, dad. If you're listening, sir, and.
Speaker 1: We're laughing at oh, I'm so sorry, I gyms, I'm
Speaker 1: so sorry. But the idea that it is terrible because
Speaker 1: it's just like you know what parents are anyway.
Speaker 2: You turn just because we've only been talking about forty minutes.
Speaker 1: Oh, keep it going, let's keep this going. But the
Speaker 1: idea that it was such a problem that you had
Speaker 1: to take it to the Landmark Forum is incredibly delightful
Speaker 1: to me.
Speaker 2: Well, I saw, and really I had to come up
Speaker 2: with something fast because the guy that spoke right before
Speaker 2: me was a big tough truck driver and boy did
Speaker 2: his dad touch his bottle?
Speaker 1: Oh man, And he.
Speaker 2: Was being very open and honest, and he's like, well, ye,
Speaker 2: he had his way with me number of times, and
Speaker 2: it was be a huge tough guy and it must
Speaker 2: have been so hard for him to talk. And then
Speaker 2: I was just scrambling like a dad, hit me, hit me,
Speaker 2: now give me something. But yeah, it was. It was
Speaker 2: that thing is a cult. And I think you're familiar
Speaker 2: with the Landmark thing, but yes, not a cult.
Speaker 1: I want to it's like a pid scheme. It is
Speaker 1: ye for something.
Speaker 2: I feel like they scam the people that end up
Speaker 2: giving the becoming the leaders of it.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Also, anytime you have to pay a bunch of
Speaker 1: money to get healthy.
Speaker 2: Right, I guess what.
Speaker 1: The therapy is pretty expensive, but I have insurance. Yeah
Speaker 1: you can't, you know, And it's like it doesn't increase
Speaker 1: my I know, I'm going to pay one hundred bucks
Speaker 1: each time to like basically complain at one lady and
Speaker 1: she does. She doesn't say here's what you've got to
Speaker 1: do one, two, three, four five, She just goes, I
Speaker 1: don't know about that.
Speaker 2: And then I go right, Yeah, the deeper you got
Speaker 2: with this thing, the more that seminars cost, you realize
Speaker 2: the people teaching them are hypnotized into doing it for
Speaker 2: almost nothing. You know. That's the problems I had with
Speaker 2: But I had what I did get a lot out
Speaker 2: of it, and I think it was because I went
Speaker 2: with my family.
Speaker 1: Well, and also this goes back to mind. I know
Speaker 1: I've talked about this before. I won't go on about it,
Speaker 1: but I very much if you I so believe in
Speaker 1: the Brene Brown, who is a I've talked to you
Speaker 1: about that, right, she's the same shame researcher, and she's
Speaker 1: written all these books about shame and shame resilience, because
Speaker 1: that's what the big trucker before you saying the thing
Speaker 1: that you think makes you different, ugly alone everything, saying
Speaker 1: that out aloud to a group of people, and having
Speaker 1: that group of people go, oh, fuck, that's terrible, we
Speaker 1: hear you, that's awful, Thank you for being here. That
Speaker 1: makes shame and all the terrible things that go along
Speaker 1: with shame go away. And that's what people are looking
Speaker 1: for in all of those systems that they end up
Speaker 1: going to, whether it's a cult or a or something
Speaker 1: that actually helps them or whatever. Everyone's just looking for
Speaker 1: someone to go. Not to go, oh, here's how you
Speaker 1: fix it, or never say that again or whatever, but
Speaker 1: to go, I hear what you're saying. That is fucked.
Speaker 1: You didn't deserve that, you know, And we're here with you,
Speaker 1: just being in it with them.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I think I can use it.
Speaker 1: Right now.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm gonna say I uh, as a kid, Karen
Speaker 2: and I I used to eat my bookers. And you
Speaker 2: know what I haven't told anyone ever. I it was gross.
Speaker 1: It is gross.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And to quit to quit, and I quit on
Speaker 2: my own. I would imagine me collecting so many boogers
Speaker 2: together that it was the size of a baseball, and
Speaker 2: I had to bite it like an apple, Like an apple,
Speaker 2: a sphere of boogers. Sometimes different people's no, yeah, and
Speaker 2: that's how I quit.
Speaker 1: Is any of this true?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 1: Is it for real?
Speaker 2: Hey, that's not what they do. What if I went
Speaker 2: to that truck driver your butthole? What kind of a father?
Speaker 1: Is that?
Speaker 2: Is any of this true?
Speaker 1: But that's why I'm not on the podcast with that
Speaker 1: truck driver. It's not at all.
Speaker 2: I'm glad it feels good for me to have said that.
Speaker 1: Fine, I'll say mine. I used to eat. My mom
Speaker 1: would buy Mulano cookies, booker balls that were I would
Speaker 1: collect them from around my neighborhood. My mom would get
Speaker 1: Milano cookies when guests would come over, because she had
Speaker 1: this specific dessert she used to make. And I would
Speaker 1: go in and you know how those peppers from cookies,
Speaker 1: they are laid in on levels, so there's like four
Speaker 1: in a little white cup, and then there's a piece
Speaker 1: of cardboard. So we would I would eat the levels
Speaker 1: and then just replace them with things. So that once
Speaker 1: she went to make dessert there was only the top four, but.
Speaker 2: It was just a higher key or something.
Speaker 1: It would be like or I would leave the cardboard
Speaker 1: in tipped up, so it was just holding the cups up,
Speaker 1: almost like a little house of cards. It was a
Speaker 1: real house of cards emotionally, because.
Speaker 2: You know, it came toppling down one day.
Speaker 1: Because clearly I had a major eating problem from day one,
Speaker 1: and so did you.
Speaker 2: My problem was there's no goddamn food.
Speaker 1: I guess that. Do you think that's what it might
Speaker 1: have been, like an anxiety response to that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I always ate, and I still eat with the
Speaker 2: urgency of someone in a prison mass hall, because I
Speaker 2: eat like someone's gonna come and take it away. Yeah,
Speaker 2: because oftentimes, and I think we've talked about this, my
Speaker 2: mom would find would make a dish or something and
Speaker 2: be there on the counter, and my sister and I
Speaker 2: would scramble over to get it, and she said, don't
Speaker 2: eat that. It's for a recipe for work. You're like,
Speaker 2: damn it, frozen burritos. It is.
Speaker 1: So she would do things like we knew she.
Speaker 2: Was able to follow a recipe and cook. Well, not
Speaker 2: that late, but I think moms should maybe provide food.
Speaker 1: No. Absolutely, My mom was the same way. We had truscuts.
Speaker 1: She would come home from work in the truscuts and
Speaker 1: cheese and wine and then sometimes throw in like a
Speaker 1: couple of chicken breasts and overcook them and make some
Speaker 1: minute rice. That was I actually love that meal now,
Speaker 1: Like if I make that, it's really comforting minute rice,
Speaker 1: canned corn and a really overcooked chicken breast.
Speaker 2: That doesn't sound bad to me. I think it's the
Speaker 2: only person that went off to college and everyone's complaining
Speaker 2: about the food and the food zoo where everyone and
Speaker 2: I thought it was the best shit I'd ever eaten.
Speaker 2: I gained that fifteen pounds that people talk about.
Speaker 1: It's so funny. It's like I always think about that
Speaker 1: of like, so the people who are so lucky that
Speaker 1: they don't that food isn't their thing, it's some other thing.
Speaker 1: And then I'm just like, yeah, but that thing is
Speaker 1: torturing them the way food tortures me. Yeah, it's all
Speaker 1: it's just a different result. It just seems to me
Speaker 1: like the people who are addicted to exercise, you know,
Speaker 1: or simply smack or simply smack, then they get to
Speaker 1: have nice bodies. Yeah, on all the great things that
Speaker 1: go along with it.
Speaker 2: Loose teeth, loose.
Speaker 1: Teeth being groped on the bus. Was this some cop action?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 2: My cops are making me nervous lately. Is it something
Speaker 2: I've done?
Speaker 1: Have you are your licenses?
Speaker 2: All my licenses are in order. Fishing good commercial.
Speaker 1: Driving c class. You can drive a.
Speaker 2: Big gears shift the fun out of Can you do one.
Speaker 1: Of those three point turns on the eighteen in an
Speaker 1: eighteen wheeler?
Speaker 2: I can try right now and then that's the end
Speaker 2: of the podcast. Back. Oh, okay, I thought you were
Speaker 2: that person at the party.
Speaker 1: That's very similar. Those truck drivers love to party.
Speaker 2: Someone sent us a nice or sent me an email
Speaker 2: on my little contact for him on my website and
Speaker 2: said they really appreciate when we talked about our moms.
Speaker 2: So we really Yeah, maybe not this time, but we
Speaker 2: should have a mom episode.
Speaker 1: We should. You know, it's weird. I will say this.
Speaker 1: I keep on dreaming. I don't know if you get this, ever.
Speaker 1: I keep having dreams where my mom is fine, and
Speaker 1: in the dream, I go, what the fuck? She was
Speaker 1: really really bad?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: And in the dream, but you're not supposed to say
Speaker 1: anything in all dream.
Speaker 2: And I have the same dream you have that dream?
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, and you get I get really irritated, but
Speaker 1: I know I'm not allowed to be.
Speaker 2: I get mad because she's been pretending.
Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, and you can't but you know you can't.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Oh shit, we have the same same dream.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I really do. I've I've, you know, because and
Speaker 2: I think that's good because we don't want to remember
Speaker 2: our moms without all their.
Speaker 1: Brain right exactly.
Speaker 2: It's I think it's good, and I think I that
Speaker 2: is how I remember my mom.
Speaker 1: And it's easier because we definitely have resentment towards our moms,
Speaker 1: for lee, yes, and so it's easier to feel that
Speaker 1: towort of the healthy version of your mom in a dream,
Speaker 1: right than the feeling that I have sometimes, which is
Speaker 1: just like what the fuck and it just hits me
Speaker 1: randomly every once in a while where I just go,
Speaker 1: oh fuck, like that's such a weird absence yea, yeah.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna run out of gas. Speaking of absence, the
Speaker 2: absence of feel I'm drunk right now. Speaking of absence, Ah.
Speaker 1: Oh, you should not have gotten drunk on absence before you.
Speaker 2: Can figure out, I'm just so blue and inviting. It's green,
Speaker 2: are green and inviting?
Speaker 1: You were writing all your sad poems and sipping absent.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I do it very classically. I have a
Speaker 2: thimble of coke and a powdered wig.
Speaker 1: Yes, and then just tons of jokes for Jamie Lee's show.
Speaker 2: Just coming off of a scroll. I just tomorrow, I'm
Speaker 2: just gonna roll it across the table here.
Speaker 1: Hey, did you have to write? Did you have to
Speaker 1: watch the VMA's for that show?
Speaker 2: No? No, but I did watch today a clip of
Speaker 2: Chris Hardwick hosting some segment of the VMA's in nineteen
Speaker 2: ninety five, and I realized, Wow, shit was twenty years ago.
Speaker 1: Oh no, he's been busting ass for quite some time.
Speaker 2: Is this where we were? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Yes, your left hand. Yeah. I just watched the part
Speaker 1: which I really loved, where Nicki Minaj got her award
Speaker 1: and then she started talking shit at Miley sick.
Speaker 2: Hey, yeah, explain that to me. I heard.
Speaker 1: It was like basically, Miley Cyrus got interviewed and Miley
Speaker 1: Cyers was talking about race, some element of race and
Speaker 1: mentioned Nicki Minaj, which is not smart. But and so
Speaker 1: when she got her award. She was like, and now
Speaker 1: back to this bitch who's been talking about me in
Speaker 1: the press and did a dead yeah. Yeah, Miley, what's good?
Speaker 1: Which is my favorite. It's like because she's basically saying
Speaker 1: fuck you or like what's up? Or come at me?
Speaker 1: But it was what's good, Like I feel like a
Speaker 1: ninety year old woman these days, where like all the
Speaker 1: slang is totally non sensible.
Speaker 2: You know, I'm pretty up to speed when I think
Speaker 2: most slang except I just sat up to speed.
Speaker 1: But I think this is Nicki Minaj's personal slang, Like
Speaker 1: I think that's probably what she says, what's good, what's good?
Speaker 1: Which And I just I love her. Do you know
Speaker 1: that Miley cyrus in her in her classic Disney star
Speaker 1: child star way when you know that things get turned
Speaker 1: around in the press like weirdly calmly received the comment
Speaker 1: like when I the clip, I watched.
Speaker 2: Like a well trained yes child who has.
Speaker 1: Been just just a creepy uh person who was when
Speaker 1: they were seven was also thirty five, Yeah.
Speaker 2: There was if I told you. By the time, there
Speaker 2: was like a celebrity golf tournament and on one team
Speaker 2: golfing together where Kenny g Michael Douglas and Haley Joel
Speaker 2: Osmond and he was Haley was sinking these long putts
Speaker 2: with the concentration of a seasoned pro.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: And then at the end, but Kenny g and Michael Douglas,
Speaker 2: we're treating him like a kid, and he'd sink a
Speaker 2: pot and they'd put him up on their shoulders and like, hey,
Speaker 2: the kid, he's got it, and that he was like
Speaker 2: put me down, stirs like he seemed really And then
Speaker 2: at the end his dad came over and they shook
Speaker 2: hands with full eye contact, that kind of handshake that
Speaker 2: you only make with a business partner.
Speaker 1: Oh no, And it just was.
Speaker 2: But he seems to have grown up fine, grown up
Speaker 2: you know.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, spoils a Babylon One of my favorite shows.
Speaker 2: Is he on It?
Speaker 1: He's on it. He plays Kristen Wiggs' son, and he's
Speaker 1: so funny. He knows exactly who he is, what he is,
Speaker 1: and he's hilarious and he is a great actor.
Speaker 2: Yeah, maybe you don't need the pitfalls of struggling through
Speaker 2: a youth to become a level headed adult. No.
Speaker 1: I think he had some pitfalls. I remember he got
Speaker 1: arrestled for dui.
Speaker 2: Right, Yeah, I guess.
Speaker 1: I mean, but yeah, your kids. He's no Macaulay Culkin.
Speaker 1: But no, no, I think he's lived at least he's
Speaker 1: lived a little.
Speaker 2: He's no party monster.
Speaker 1: No, he didn't murder anybody.
Speaker 2: Sorry about that noise.
Speaker 1: God damn it.
Speaker 2: God damn the noise, God damn it. I'll try and
Speaker 2: doctor it. I'm not the best sound engineer, but I've
Speaker 2: been taking some stabs at it. Or the last step
Speaker 2: is you know, I'm doing what I can.
Speaker 1: I mean, we're doing good for two people who don't
Speaker 1: know what the fuck they're doing. Ever, Yes, well you
Speaker 1: do that.
Speaker 2: I'll take that. I'll take that.
Speaker 1: I think we're doing good. The fact that, oh, when
Speaker 1: I was in Denver, there was a guy ship I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: I won't remember your name because it was Denver. That
Speaker 1: was one that was one festival ago. What is my life?
Speaker 1: I'm so old. But he told me that we our
Speaker 1: stuff goes up on Stitcher and there's something wrong.
Speaker 2: Made a comment the other day and said you're no
Speaker 2: longer on stitcher and it makes me sad. So we
Speaker 2: got to find out what the hell stitcher is.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we have to find out what that What can
Speaker 1: be done about it. What we're supposed to do here.
Speaker 1: The person I talked to said that that there might
Speaker 1: be people at All Things Comedy that know the passwords
Speaker 1: or whatever. Oka, but it was like it goes back
Speaker 1: to a certain it it ends at Chip Pope's episode,
Speaker 1: so yeah, it's a it's a recent thing.
Speaker 2: Anyway, episodes ago.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I mean it's not like you know, I
Speaker 1: don't know.
Speaker 2: We'll get to the bottom of it.
Speaker 1: I mean, is there any other business you need to
Speaker 1: work out? Should I bounce my check book right now?
Speaker 2: I could use I've counted up these receipts. I'll go
Speaker 2: ahead and handle.
Speaker 1: These screen visor, Okay.
Speaker 2: These are all it's all just in my wealth.
Speaker 1: Jockey White, are you buying all this rhubarb?
Speaker 2: I don't know. It's the tanginess, it's the fact I
Speaker 2: don't know what to do with it. It's the fact
Speaker 2: that I don't really like salary, but this looks like it,
Speaker 2: so maybe it don't help with my salary hatreds. I know,
Speaker 2: I don't know. I don't know. I don't know rubarb
Speaker 2: from chinola?
Speaker 1: But you do? You do? You're up on the slang.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, for Land's.
Speaker 1: Sake, shinol. It doesn't exist anymore.
Speaker 2: Though, No, no, it was. It was quickly pushed away
Speaker 2: by the popularity of which the kids can't stop talking.
Speaker 1: Don't forget chick reroot or I'm so now we're just
Speaker 1: naming this because it sound weird.
Speaker 2: Oh I love focab turetts Now I mean it. I'm
Speaker 2: dropping you off.
Speaker 1: Your Okay, good, because I'm so tired. I'm gonna die.
Speaker 2: Just lay down in the map. Lay down in a map. Okay,
Speaker 2: figure out what you're doing tomorrow.
Speaker 1: Did you drop me off of the gas station? I
Speaker 1: have to buy a map?
Speaker 2: Yes, of course. We haven't had a paper map for
Speaker 2: a decade, all of us. And I'm tired of these
Speaker 2: cash only places. I haven't had cash in my pocket
Speaker 2: since the nineties. Do I look like some kind of
Speaker 2: fence mender.
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: I get paid in checks, like grown up.
Speaker 1: We just actually at this festival. We got paid in
Speaker 1: cash and it's pretty exciting.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's fun to get ale.
Speaker 1: Is there a car in front of my house that's
Speaker 1: so set?
Speaker 2: We're about to give them some lip?
Speaker 1: This is what I fear.
Speaker 2: Now they are in front of your house?
Speaker 1: Okay, good?
Speaker 2: Well that was a fun time there is.
Speaker 1: Oh, I don't know. I'm so scared. I don't know want.
Speaker 1: I don't want to honk in front of my asshole neighbor. Chuck.
Speaker 2: It's okay. I think people know that we do that,
Speaker 2: and I can do. You know that. I'm like a
Speaker 2: Michael Winslow and it comes to voice sounds.
Speaker 1: Will you do a vocal honk?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I can do that.
Speaker 1: Okay, then I'm going to do your part. Okay, do
Speaker 1: you have anything you want to plug?
Speaker 2: I am going to be doing some gigs with Todd
Speaker 2: Berry in the eleventh and twelfth ofly in Arizona at
Speaker 2: Tempe and Tucson on the respectively, eleventh and twelfth, and
Speaker 2: then Missoula, Montana, my hometown, with Todd Berry on the sixteenth.
Speaker 1: Oh fun, and oh that you talked about that?
Speaker 2: Sure for my calendar that I'm gonna sell a calendar?
Speaker 5: Oh okay, yeah, self intuligent calendar of my own face,
Speaker 5: well me and photographs that are illustrating some of my jokes.
Speaker 1: Oh that's cool. Yeah, is that your idea?
Speaker 2: It's my friend Andy Chemis's he's a photographer, and he said,
Speaker 2: let's make a calendar, and I said, okay, I guess
Speaker 2: I'm not opposed to that.
Speaker 1: That's a great idea.
Speaker 2: Thanks.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be doing Dave Ross's Terrified live at Meltdown
Speaker 1: Comics on Monday, September seventh and nine o'clock. And that's
Speaker 1: kind of that. I like a lot. That's a live podcast.
Speaker 1: It should be good.
Speaker 2: So that sounds great.
Speaker 1: I feel like it. Come to that, I like it.
Speaker 1: I really like Dave Ross. All right, so this has
Speaker 1: been Do you need a ride?
Speaker 2: D y n A R? Are you leaving? I you
Speaker 2: wanna way back home?
Speaker 3: Either way, we want to be there. Doesn't matter how
Speaker 3: much baggage you claim and give us time and day
Speaker 3: Turman on engage.
Speaker 4: We want to send you off inside. We wanna welcome
Speaker 4: you back home. Tell us all about it.
Speaker 2: We scared?
Speaker 1: Or was it fine? Malt porn?
Speaker 2: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need ride? Do you need to ride? Do
Speaker 1: you need.
Speaker 2: With Karen and cress
Speaker 1: H