1 00:00:16,560 --> 00:00:21,120 Speaker 1: Hello, and welcome to my favorite murder the minisode Let's 2 00:00:21,160 --> 00:00:26,520 Speaker 1: do it. Let's read emails from the world you go first. Okay, 3 00:00:27,400 --> 00:00:30,760 Speaker 1: this email is a response email to a thing I 4 00:00:30,800 --> 00:00:34,760 Speaker 1: said one time. We love those ones. And the subject 5 00:00:34,760 --> 00:00:37,680 Speaker 1: line of this email is the real Transylvania University has 6 00:00:37,720 --> 00:00:40,519 Speaker 1: a professor buried in the administration building. 7 00:00:40,880 --> 00:00:45,360 Speaker 2: What that's from the Meet the Kentucky Meat Shower. 8 00:00:45,159 --> 00:00:48,760 Speaker 1: Right, Yes, I believe so. I think they say. Oh here. 9 00:00:49,479 --> 00:00:52,440 Speaker 1: It starts hello, lovely ladies. I've been listening since well 10 00:00:52,440 --> 00:00:55,320 Speaker 1: before COVID, and then in parentheses it says not quite 11 00:00:55,360 --> 00:00:57,640 Speaker 1: day one, but close enough to feel like we're friends. 12 00:00:58,600 --> 00:00:59,080 Speaker 2: That's nice. 13 00:00:59,120 --> 00:01:02,800 Speaker 1: I like it. We're COVID friends. I thought about writing 14 00:01:02,840 --> 00:01:04,960 Speaker 1: in so many times. Then I heard episode five point 15 00:01:04,959 --> 00:01:09,120 Speaker 1: thirty nine. It keeps getting ruined and Karen. Karen asked 16 00:01:09,280 --> 00:01:13,120 Speaker 1: if Transylvania University was actually real. That's my alma mater, 17 00:01:13,280 --> 00:01:16,920 Speaker 1: so naturally I had to shoot my shot. Transylvania University 18 00:01:16,959 --> 00:01:20,640 Speaker 1: is a real, tiny liberal arts school in Lexington, Kentucky, 19 00:01:20,959 --> 00:01:24,480 Speaker 1: with only about eleven hundred students. Wow. It was founded 20 00:01:24,480 --> 00:01:27,440 Speaker 1: in seventeen eighty, making it the first university west of 21 00:01:27,440 --> 00:01:31,039 Speaker 1: the Apple Achians right, and despite what every person I've 22 00:01:31,080 --> 00:01:35,400 Speaker 1: ever met immediately asks, No, Dracula did not attend. Why 23 00:01:35,480 --> 00:01:38,759 Speaker 1: is it called that hold on? Okay, the name comes 24 00:01:38,760 --> 00:01:43,319 Speaker 1: from the Latin. The name comes from the Latin trans 25 00:01:43,319 --> 00:01:48,560 Speaker 1: Sylvam meaning across the woods. Okay, trans Sylvan. When the 26 00:01:48,560 --> 00:01:52,040 Speaker 1: school was founded, Kentucky was basically one giant forest. Nothing 27 00:01:52,080 --> 00:01:53,320 Speaker 1: creepy in those woods. 28 00:01:53,640 --> 00:01:58,440 Speaker 3: Nope, everything is non cryptoid camp away, let's keep going. 29 00:01:59,360 --> 00:02:02,320 Speaker 1: Now for the fun part. Every student quickly learns about 30 00:02:02,360 --> 00:02:07,800 Speaker 1: Constantine Samuel Raffanesque, an absolutely brilliant naturalist, botanist, and by 31 00:02:07,800 --> 00:02:12,320 Speaker 1: all accounts, an eccentric menace. Yes right. Legend says that 32 00:02:12,360 --> 00:02:14,600 Speaker 1: he was so angry after leaving the university that he 33 00:02:14,680 --> 00:02:19,760 Speaker 1: cursed the school. That's my energy entirely. Naturally, instead of 34 00:02:19,880 --> 00:02:22,919 Speaker 1: just letting go, alumni decided decades later the best solution 35 00:02:23,120 --> 00:02:26,480 Speaker 1: was to dig him up and bring him back to campus. 36 00:02:26,560 --> 00:02:28,320 Speaker 1: This is shades of Widow's Bay. 37 00:02:28,600 --> 00:02:29,079 Speaker 2: Wow. 38 00:02:29,360 --> 00:02:33,520 Speaker 1: Today he's entombed inside Old Morrison, our main administration building. 39 00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:35,640 Speaker 2: That's like, yeah, he got bit by that animal and 40 00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:36,680 Speaker 2: he became that. 41 00:02:36,639 --> 00:02:41,280 Speaker 1: Animal, became the animal. Every relationship I've ever had, except 42 00:02:41,480 --> 00:02:44,200 Speaker 1: there's a very real possibility they dug up the wrong person. 43 00:02:44,639 --> 00:02:48,640 Speaker 1: What I should have kept getting better now. No one's 44 00:02:48,800 --> 00:02:53,000 Speaker 1: entirely sure the remains in the tombor actually Rafinesques, which 45 00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:55,800 Speaker 1: somehow makes the whole story even better. Very true. We 46 00:02:55,880 --> 00:02:59,360 Speaker 1: embrace the weird. Every October there's RAF Week. Students can 47 00:02:59,480 --> 00:03:02,800 Speaker 1: enter a rap to spend Halloween nights sleeping in the tomb. 48 00:03:03,520 --> 00:03:04,240 Speaker 2: Oh my god. 49 00:03:05,200 --> 00:03:08,160 Speaker 1: Our campus cafe is called the raft Scaler, and our 50 00:03:08,200 --> 00:03:10,760 Speaker 1: mascot is Raphanesque's big eared bat. 51 00:03:11,160 --> 00:03:14,160 Speaker 3: They just like double down on saying fuck you to him, Yes, 52 00:03:14,680 --> 00:03:15,760 Speaker 3: like triple down. 53 00:03:16,160 --> 00:03:18,399 Speaker 1: They're like, we'll move your body wherever we want. Yeah, 54 00:03:18,480 --> 00:03:20,920 Speaker 1: we're gonna theme you out like Mickey Mouse. 55 00:03:20,720 --> 00:03:23,520 Speaker 2: Everything after you. 56 00:03:22,600 --> 00:03:25,760 Speaker 1: Get ready if curse professors aren't enough. The campus is 57 00:03:25,800 --> 00:03:29,200 Speaker 1: also forever connected to the tragic nineteen sixty one murder 58 00:03:29,520 --> 00:03:33,040 Speaker 1: of student Betty Gail Brown. She was killed after leaving 59 00:03:33,040 --> 00:03:36,040 Speaker 1: a late night study session, and despite decades of investigation, 60 00:03:36,520 --> 00:03:41,040 Speaker 1: it's still one of Kentucky's most infamous unsolved murders. Walking 61 00:03:41,080 --> 00:03:43,800 Speaker 1: past Old Morrison at night definitely hits it a little 62 00:03:43,800 --> 00:03:47,160 Speaker 1: differently once you know the history. Oh and because apparently 63 00:03:47,160 --> 00:03:49,880 Speaker 1: the universe decided one bizarre story wasn't enough for our 64 00:03:49,920 --> 00:03:52,920 Speaker 1: little school. Our library became the site of the infamous 65 00:03:52,960 --> 00:03:55,920 Speaker 1: two thousand and four rare book heist. I remember I 66 00:03:56,000 --> 00:03:58,960 Speaker 1: did this. You did the rare book heists that inspired 67 00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:02,560 Speaker 1: the movie American Animal. Wait, will you check if I 68 00:04:02,600 --> 00:04:02,920 Speaker 1: did it? 69 00:04:03,360 --> 00:04:04,280 Speaker 2: I'm akan right now. 70 00:04:04,320 --> 00:04:07,320 Speaker 1: I could have just seen that movie. You should do 71 00:04:07,200 --> 00:04:08,960 Speaker 1: it on it, like write it down to do it. 72 00:04:09,120 --> 00:04:11,320 Speaker 1: I think I did because it was Remember it was 73 00:04:11,360 --> 00:04:13,800 Speaker 1: like the boys that kept going into ask to look 74 00:04:13,840 --> 00:04:15,360 Speaker 1: at the books that were behind the glass. 75 00:04:15,440 --> 00:04:17,080 Speaker 2: I'm going to say yes, and then Moll's going to say, 76 00:04:17,080 --> 00:04:18,719 Speaker 2: you didn't do it. Cover it, and I'm going to. 77 00:04:18,760 --> 00:04:21,960 Speaker 1: Look the stupidest, and then that's right. That's how I 78 00:04:22,040 --> 00:04:24,120 Speaker 1: do it, is that I put my ass out there. 79 00:04:24,279 --> 00:04:27,159 Speaker 1: But yours is the one in this lane, right, Yours 80 00:04:27,160 --> 00:04:28,520 Speaker 1: is the one in the jackpot. 81 00:04:28,760 --> 00:04:31,800 Speaker 3: Okay, Karen, I'm not seeing that you covered it, but 82 00:04:31,839 --> 00:04:33,080 Speaker 3: I'm going to keep checking. 83 00:04:33,080 --> 00:04:35,440 Speaker 2: How dare I knew that? I shouldn't say that I 84 00:04:35,520 --> 00:04:37,279 Speaker 2: knew what you were talking about? Is what I'm saying. 85 00:04:37,320 --> 00:04:42,440 Speaker 1: Can someone call Stephen? We're texting him now if we 86 00:04:43,839 --> 00:04:49,400 Speaker 1: won't The idea that this show has been going on 87 00:04:49,480 --> 00:04:52,920 Speaker 1: so long that the memory is reality. What we've watched, 88 00:04:52,920 --> 00:04:55,200 Speaker 1: what we've seen, what we've talked about casually. 89 00:04:55,520 --> 00:04:59,400 Speaker 3: One hundred something episodes, almost like five hundred and fifty episodes. 90 00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:01,560 Speaker 2: We're not going to rumin goddamn anything. 91 00:05:01,720 --> 00:05:04,640 Speaker 1: Well, and also we remember everything, so it's like it's 92 00:05:04,680 --> 00:05:08,359 Speaker 1: all the old book heist. But you know, now I 93 00:05:08,440 --> 00:05:10,920 Speaker 1: realize I watched the movie. It was a good I 94 00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:13,560 Speaker 1: think I watched it on a plane. It was kid. Well, 95 00:05:13,560 --> 00:05:17,279 Speaker 1: it's just crazy because they you know, those heisters, and 96 00:05:17,279 --> 00:05:17,839 Speaker 1: they're logic. 97 00:05:17,960 --> 00:05:21,720 Speaker 2: Let's have a high schirl summer, high squirrel summer. 98 00:05:22,360 --> 00:05:27,960 Speaker 1: Yes, Bolla Clava's fucking stealing people's shit and driving away SPF. 99 00:05:27,960 --> 00:05:33,800 Speaker 3: It's UV coverage of Balaklava opera gloves, Balaclava's really bright 100 00:05:33,839 --> 00:05:35,440 Speaker 3: lipstick and like bikini. 101 00:05:35,880 --> 00:05:39,359 Speaker 1: Yes, okay, sorry, that's spring Breakers. 102 00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:41,120 Speaker 2: That's true. Oh shit, you're right. 103 00:05:41,640 --> 00:05:44,440 Speaker 1: Okay did you do so? Yes, our tiny liberal arts 104 00:05:44,440 --> 00:05:47,880 Speaker 1: college somehow produced a Hollywood crime film. So to answer 105 00:05:47,880 --> 00:05:52,440 Speaker 1: your question, yes, Transylvania University is very real. For a 106 00:05:52,480 --> 00:05:55,320 Speaker 1: school with barely eleven hundred students, we've managed to accumulate 107 00:05:55,360 --> 00:05:58,880 Speaker 1: a curse professor, a possible case of mistaken remains inside 108 00:05:58,920 --> 00:06:02,840 Speaker 1: the Administration Building, and unsolved murder, a multimillion dollar rare 109 00:06:02,880 --> 00:06:05,760 Speaker 1: book heist, and a name that makes everyone immediately ask 110 00:06:05,839 --> 00:06:08,920 Speaker 1: about vampires. Anyway, thanks for giving me an excuse to 111 00:06:08,920 --> 00:06:11,599 Speaker 1: finally write in again. If you ever need more weird 112 00:06:11,960 --> 00:06:16,120 Speaker 1: transy stories, I guess they call it transy. I've got 113 00:06:16,160 --> 00:06:21,160 Speaker 1: plenty SSDGM Jay she her Transylvania University class of two 114 00:06:21,200 --> 00:06:24,760 Speaker 1: thousand and six. And here is a picture of himself, 115 00:06:25,040 --> 00:06:29,080 Speaker 1: Constantine Samuel Raffiness. Wow, that's the man that they moved 116 00:06:29,160 --> 00:06:31,880 Speaker 1: the body and put him in the Administration building. A thumb. 117 00:06:32,720 --> 00:06:35,680 Speaker 2: He's They look like they drew with that, like drew 118 00:06:35,680 --> 00:06:37,960 Speaker 2: a thumb and then drew his picture on the thumb. 119 00:06:38,040 --> 00:06:40,400 Speaker 1: To me, it looks like he's done so much reading 120 00:06:40,440 --> 00:06:43,080 Speaker 1: that his eyes are moving around his head like a flounder. 121 00:06:43,360 --> 00:06:46,240 Speaker 2: Like he's he's turning into he's what's it called. 122 00:06:46,680 --> 00:06:50,440 Speaker 1: He's morphing into a book. He got bit by a book, 123 00:06:50,440 --> 00:06:51,559 Speaker 1: and then he's turning into a book. 124 00:06:51,560 --> 00:06:57,600 Speaker 3: He's morphing for easier reading capabilities. Okay, love it, good job, 125 00:06:57,960 --> 00:06:59,599 Speaker 3: thank you, Okay, good job Jay? 126 00:06:59,680 --> 00:07:01,120 Speaker 2: Start Yeah. 127 00:07:01,320 --> 00:07:02,880 Speaker 3: Is it weird that I'm like, I bet that college 128 00:07:02,920 --> 00:07:05,680 Speaker 3: would have accepted me. If I had, like, you know, 129 00:07:06,240 --> 00:07:06,760 Speaker 3: I would have. 130 00:07:06,680 --> 00:07:08,000 Speaker 1: Been accepted at Transylvania. 131 00:07:08,279 --> 00:07:10,640 Speaker 3: Someone in Pennsylvania would have Oh god, what if we 132 00:07:10,720 --> 00:07:16,600 Speaker 3: got a fucking honorary diploma from Pennsylvania University for being creeps? 133 00:07:17,120 --> 00:07:18,280 Speaker 1: We major in being creeps? 134 00:07:18,360 --> 00:07:23,760 Speaker 3: That would be rad okay, hey, friends. Back in the 135 00:07:23,800 --> 00:07:26,360 Speaker 3: glory days of two thousand and three ish, my mom 136 00:07:26,440 --> 00:07:28,880 Speaker 3: was going through what she now lovingly refers to as 137 00:07:28,920 --> 00:07:32,360 Speaker 3: her middle aged crazy aka. She was post divorced and 138 00:07:32,400 --> 00:07:35,280 Speaker 3: really into cheap vodka and dudes on motorcycles. 139 00:07:36,200 --> 00:07:40,880 Speaker 1: This is very Aaron BROCKOVICI. I bet she's like thirty nine, right, Yeah, 140 00:07:40,880 --> 00:07:43,040 Speaker 1: you mean when this is happening. Yeah, yeah. 141 00:07:43,160 --> 00:07:45,760 Speaker 3: I was a disaffected fifteen year old, my first cell 142 00:07:45,760 --> 00:07:48,440 Speaker 3: phone and an addiction to AOL instant messenger. 143 00:07:48,600 --> 00:07:49,239 Speaker 2: What a time. 144 00:07:49,960 --> 00:07:52,840 Speaker 3: My mom was dating one particular shithead with a motorcycle 145 00:07:52,920 --> 00:07:54,880 Speaker 3: and the two of them enjoyed going out for long 146 00:07:54,960 --> 00:07:55,920 Speaker 3: rides on the weekend. 147 00:07:56,320 --> 00:07:57,200 Speaker 2: What else were they doing? 148 00:07:57,400 --> 00:07:58,560 Speaker 1: You're not my dad, Ramby. 149 00:08:00,040 --> 00:08:02,360 Speaker 3: My dad was a flight attendant, so I was expected 150 00:08:02,400 --> 00:08:04,800 Speaker 3: to watch my eleven year old brother most nights they 151 00:08:04,800 --> 00:08:07,840 Speaker 3: went out. This particular evening, my mom made sure to 152 00:08:07,880 --> 00:08:09,760 Speaker 3: tell me that they were going to a movie after 153 00:08:09,800 --> 00:08:12,040 Speaker 3: their ride and probably wouldn't have their cell phones on, 154 00:08:12,080 --> 00:08:14,080 Speaker 3: so I should call my dad if I needed anything. 155 00:08:14,520 --> 00:08:16,800 Speaker 3: Being a teenager, I rolled my eyes or gave her 156 00:08:16,840 --> 00:08:19,200 Speaker 3: some equally asshole response, and they were on their way. 157 00:08:20,080 --> 00:08:22,400 Speaker 3: An hour or so later, I was chatting on AIM 158 00:08:22,840 --> 00:08:24,960 Speaker 3: while my brother watched the Tom Green show. 159 00:08:25,680 --> 00:08:28,360 Speaker 2: Oh my God, Yeah. 160 00:08:27,960 --> 00:08:31,000 Speaker 3: And we were drinking Jolt cola right when suddenly my 161 00:08:31,000 --> 00:08:33,760 Speaker 3: cell phone started to ring. The number was blocked, and 162 00:08:33,800 --> 00:08:36,200 Speaker 3: as I was a sweet summer child who still believed 163 00:08:36,200 --> 00:08:39,480 Speaker 3: in answering the phone at all times, much less unknown numbers, 164 00:08:39,520 --> 00:08:41,920 Speaker 3: I picked up. I said hello, and was greeted with 165 00:08:42,080 --> 00:08:44,480 Speaker 3: the lowest, most gravelly voice I'd ever heard. 166 00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:47,240 Speaker 2: I've been waiting. I know you're alone. 167 00:08:47,600 --> 00:08:52,360 Speaker 3: I'm in the backyard, I screamed, and immediately hung up 168 00:08:52,360 --> 00:08:54,920 Speaker 3: the phone, and like a good baby, Murderino locked the 169 00:08:54,920 --> 00:08:58,160 Speaker 3: bedroom door. Even though I was freaked out, I knew 170 00:08:58,160 --> 00:09:00,079 Speaker 3: it was likely one of my friends messing with me. 171 00:09:00,160 --> 00:09:02,559 Speaker 3: I quickly sent AIM trats to all my closest friends, 172 00:09:02,559 --> 00:09:05,160 Speaker 3: demanding that they admit they'd call me, but they swore 173 00:09:05,240 --> 00:09:08,240 Speaker 3: over and over that it wasn't them. Meanwhile, my phone 174 00:09:08,320 --> 00:09:11,120 Speaker 3: was blowing the fuck up. I answered it a few 175 00:09:11,160 --> 00:09:13,240 Speaker 3: more times, trying to convince the person on the other 176 00:09:13,320 --> 00:09:16,000 Speaker 3: end to give up the gag, but the threats continued. 177 00:09:16,360 --> 00:09:18,880 Speaker 3: I'm on your porch now I have a knife. 178 00:09:19,120 --> 00:09:19,520 Speaker 1: Fuck. 179 00:09:20,400 --> 00:09:22,360 Speaker 3: It was then that my brother and I heard banging 180 00:09:22,360 --> 00:09:26,000 Speaker 3: on the sliding glass door downstairs, followed by scraping along 181 00:09:26,080 --> 00:09:28,840 Speaker 3: the walls at the back of the house. Our backyard 182 00:09:28,960 --> 00:09:32,120 Speaker 3: was basically a big forest that cushioned us from another neighborhood, 183 00:09:32,360 --> 00:09:35,079 Speaker 3: very easy for someone to hide out back there. At 184 00:09:35,080 --> 00:09:37,440 Speaker 3: this point, I was sobbing, calling my mom, dad, and 185 00:09:37,520 --> 00:09:40,480 Speaker 3: even the shitead boyfriend, only to get their voicemails. I 186 00:09:40,559 --> 00:09:42,520 Speaker 3: was convinced I was about to be murdered and had 187 00:09:42,559 --> 00:09:45,280 Speaker 3: no idea what to do. The phone kept ringing, so 188 00:09:45,400 --> 00:09:48,240 Speaker 3: my sweet angel baby brother yelled at me to call 189 00:09:48,280 --> 00:09:49,760 Speaker 3: the cops and get in the closet. 190 00:09:50,120 --> 00:09:50,800 Speaker 2: It's eleven. 191 00:09:51,920 --> 00:09:54,360 Speaker 3: I watched as he darted down the hall and grabbed 192 00:09:54,360 --> 00:10:00,000 Speaker 3: the shitty boyfriend's hunting rifle from under the bed. Eleven oh, 193 00:10:00,280 --> 00:10:02,800 Speaker 3: and he closed the bedroom door again and sat there 194 00:10:03,040 --> 00:10:06,199 Speaker 3: staring at it with the gun pointed directly at it. 195 00:10:07,120 --> 00:10:09,040 Speaker 3: The nine one one operator who had been talking me 196 00:10:09,120 --> 00:10:11,280 Speaker 3: off a ledge told me to peek out my bedroom 197 00:10:11,320 --> 00:10:13,640 Speaker 3: window and I would see a patrol car pulling up 198 00:10:13,679 --> 00:10:16,520 Speaker 3: with no lights on. Sure enough, an officer was sneaking 199 00:10:16,559 --> 00:10:19,640 Speaker 3: up my driveway to assess the situation. About a minute later, 200 00:10:19,880 --> 00:10:22,480 Speaker 3: the operator explained that everything was okay and I should 201 00:10:22,559 --> 00:10:24,800 Speaker 3: go down to the driveway to talk to the officer. 202 00:10:25,360 --> 00:10:28,000 Speaker 3: Scared shitless but wanting to follow directions, my brother and 203 00:10:28,040 --> 00:10:33,360 Speaker 3: I walked down the stairs to find my mother. She 204 00:10:33,480 --> 00:10:36,280 Speaker 3: and her boyfriend were drunk off their asses and trying 205 00:10:36,280 --> 00:10:39,600 Speaker 3: to explain why they'd been pretending to be murderers in. 206 00:10:39,559 --> 00:10:41,559 Speaker 2: The backyard for the last hour. 207 00:10:42,240 --> 00:10:44,840 Speaker 3: The shitty boyfriend had been using a rake against the 208 00:10:44,840 --> 00:10:47,679 Speaker 3: walls to create the creepy noises, and Mom had turned 209 00:10:47,679 --> 00:10:50,160 Speaker 3: her phone off so we'd get her voicemail When we called. 210 00:10:51,240 --> 00:10:54,880 Speaker 2: Everyone could have killed her. Everybody, fucking cops, the brother. 211 00:10:55,600 --> 00:10:57,839 Speaker 1: I mean, I'm so furious, What in the fuck are 212 00:10:57,840 --> 00:11:01,760 Speaker 1: you doing? Totally to aa, you fucking weirdo. 213 00:11:03,280 --> 00:11:05,880 Speaker 3: My brother called both of them bitches, his favorite part 214 00:11:05,920 --> 00:11:08,839 Speaker 3: of the story, and stomped back upstairs. Well, I sat 215 00:11:08,840 --> 00:11:12,520 Speaker 3: there basically apopalyptic. 216 00:11:11,240 --> 00:11:12,600 Speaker 1: Apoplectic, apoplectic. 217 00:11:12,960 --> 00:11:14,800 Speaker 2: It's a tough and sobbing. 218 00:11:14,920 --> 00:11:17,360 Speaker 3: My mom walked over to comfort me, but my crying 219 00:11:17,400 --> 00:11:20,520 Speaker 3: made her laugh so hard that she, no shit, almost 220 00:11:20,520 --> 00:11:23,480 Speaker 3: peed herself and had to walk away. This isn't This 221 00:11:23,520 --> 00:11:25,800 Speaker 3: is not called trash trash mom, and it should be. 222 00:11:25,880 --> 00:11:26,240 Speaker 1: It isn't. 223 00:11:26,440 --> 00:11:28,760 Speaker 3: No, you'd think she'd feel bad about it, but to 224 00:11:28,760 --> 00:11:31,559 Speaker 3: this day, my mom can't tell that story without laughing 225 00:11:32,880 --> 00:11:34,000 Speaker 3: until she hears it here. 226 00:11:34,600 --> 00:11:36,440 Speaker 1: Your mom is a sociopath. 227 00:11:37,120 --> 00:11:39,319 Speaker 3: I love reminding her of how she turned me into 228 00:11:39,400 --> 00:11:42,080 Speaker 3: a neurotic weirdo who always locks her fucking doors, and 229 00:11:42,120 --> 00:11:44,920 Speaker 3: how her insane antics are going to fill my memoir 230 00:11:45,040 --> 00:11:45,800 Speaker 3: one of these days. 231 00:11:45,880 --> 00:11:46,600 Speaker 2: That's working right. 232 00:11:46,840 --> 00:11:49,000 Speaker 3: Thank you for everything you do. If you're ever in 233 00:11:49,120 --> 00:11:53,400 Speaker 3: atl at Lama, facials are on me. Oh yes, I know, 234 00:11:53,720 --> 00:11:56,560 Speaker 3: stay sexy and avoid the middle aged crazy Amy. 235 00:11:57,960 --> 00:12:00,640 Speaker 1: Well, I mean that I forgot about Amy. His mom 236 00:12:00,800 --> 00:12:03,640 Speaker 1: basically at the beginning, was like, hey, I was going 237 00:12:03,679 --> 00:12:07,640 Speaker 1: through some stuff, but that is torture. Yeah, And I 238 00:12:07,679 --> 00:12:09,840 Speaker 1: also is it wrong to admit that I have a 239 00:12:09,880 --> 00:12:11,839 Speaker 1: crush on that eleven year old boy that went I'm 240 00:12:11,840 --> 00:12:13,080 Speaker 1: gonna go get the fucking gun. 241 00:12:13,240 --> 00:12:15,320 Speaker 2: He knew what he was doing, and that eleven and 242 00:12:15,400 --> 00:12:16,400 Speaker 2: two thousand and three. 243 00:12:16,559 --> 00:12:20,120 Speaker 3: That was twenty three years ago, so that means he's 244 00:12:21,120 --> 00:12:22,080 Speaker 3: thirty or four. 245 00:12:22,559 --> 00:12:25,880 Speaker 1: Perfect for me. It's just because that's it. That's a 246 00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:28,080 Speaker 1: that's a boy who got turned into a man that 247 00:12:28,200 --> 00:12:31,320 Speaker 1: day and that probably never stopped where he's like, these 248 00:12:31,360 --> 00:12:33,360 Speaker 1: bitches are in charge now I have to be in 249 00:12:33,440 --> 00:12:34,040 Speaker 1: charge totally. 250 00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:37,040 Speaker 3: And he took care of his older sister, so obviously 251 00:12:37,080 --> 00:12:39,760 Speaker 3: he knows he's doing well. Yes, match made in Heaven. 252 00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:42,880 Speaker 1: I mean, this is this is what you know the 253 00:12:42,920 --> 00:12:49,240 Speaker 1: bad parenting begets, which is hyper responsible and handling. You 254 00:12:49,280 --> 00:12:51,199 Speaker 1: stay here, I'm gonna go get the guts totally. 255 00:12:51,520 --> 00:12:54,400 Speaker 3: So like, lock your guns up, people, lock your boyfriend's 256 00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:54,959 Speaker 3: guns up. 257 00:12:55,000 --> 00:12:56,640 Speaker 2: When your children are so many things. 258 00:12:56,800 --> 00:13:00,439 Speaker 1: Don't be in the seventies socializing with fuck and Hell's 259 00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:02,320 Speaker 1: Angels or whatever the fuck it was you were doing. 260 00:13:02,400 --> 00:13:03,440 Speaker 2: It was two thousand and three. 261 00:13:03,800 --> 00:13:12,840 Speaker 1: Yeah, oh that's bad. Oh well, okay, Uh. The subject 262 00:13:12,880 --> 00:13:15,680 Speaker 1: line of this email is making customers cry. I was 263 00:13:15,720 --> 00:13:18,400 Speaker 1: listening to MINNISO two ninety nine about that poor fraud 264 00:13:18,440 --> 00:13:20,920 Speaker 1: rep who was expected to out the guy with the 265 00:13:20,960 --> 00:13:24,960 Speaker 1: sex work credit card charges to his wife when Karen said, quote, 266 00:13:25,040 --> 00:13:26,920 Speaker 1: if anything you're about to do is going to make 267 00:13:26,920 --> 00:13:30,480 Speaker 1: the customer cry that goes upstairs, and I thought, do 268 00:13:30,520 --> 00:13:32,960 Speaker 1: you remember not know what you're talking about? It was 269 00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:36,760 Speaker 1: basically like tell the manager before you okay, blow it up, 270 00:13:37,520 --> 00:13:39,520 Speaker 1: and they say, And I thought I'd share some tales 271 00:13:39,520 --> 00:13:43,440 Speaker 1: of making customers cry. So Karen nailed it. Most customer 272 00:13:43,480 --> 00:13:45,600 Speaker 1: service reps do not get paid enough to deal with 273 00:13:45,640 --> 00:13:48,560 Speaker 1: this shit. But guess who does up there sitting at 274 00:13:48,559 --> 00:13:51,120 Speaker 1: the top of those proverbial stairs. That'd be me. I'm 275 00:13:51,120 --> 00:13:54,160 Speaker 1: a customer service manager at a small town bank. I 276 00:13:54,240 --> 00:13:56,240 Speaker 1: manage a team of tellers and I tell them the 277 00:13:56,240 --> 00:13:58,560 Speaker 1: same thing Karen said. You don't get paid enough if 278 00:13:58,600 --> 00:14:02,480 Speaker 1: a client is escalating in nice a woman, and then 279 00:14:02,480 --> 00:14:04,400 Speaker 1: you tag in the eleven year old boy with the shotgun. 280 00:14:05,080 --> 00:14:07,480 Speaker 1: A woman came in already in tears. Her husband had 281 00:14:07,520 --> 00:14:09,520 Speaker 1: taken her debit card and kicked her out of the house, 282 00:14:09,679 --> 00:14:11,640 Speaker 1: and she wanted to know if she could just withdraw 283 00:14:11,679 --> 00:14:15,680 Speaker 1: some cash. She said, he's just not very nice and 284 00:14:15,800 --> 00:14:18,760 Speaker 1: looked away with tears rolling down her face. I took 285 00:14:18,800 --> 00:14:21,200 Speaker 1: her to my desk, reviewed her account, and in my 286 00:14:21,280 --> 00:14:24,320 Speaker 1: perkis customer service voice said, well, look you here. You 287 00:14:24,360 --> 00:14:27,040 Speaker 1: are listed as the second account owner on your joint account, 288 00:14:27,080 --> 00:14:29,440 Speaker 1: meaning you have full authority to do anything with the 289 00:14:29,480 --> 00:14:32,760 Speaker 1: account that you need. Yes, we closed the account, issued 290 00:14:32,800 --> 00:14:35,520 Speaker 1: her check, made payable only to her, used it to 291 00:14:35,560 --> 00:14:38,160 Speaker 1: open an account with only her name on it, got 292 00:14:38,200 --> 00:14:40,920 Speaker 1: her own debit card, gave her a thousand dollars in cash, 293 00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:42,960 Speaker 1: and called her a cab to the next town over 294 00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:44,720 Speaker 1: where her sister lived. 295 00:14:44,760 --> 00:14:45,000 Speaker 3: Fuck. 296 00:14:45,080 --> 00:14:47,800 Speaker 2: Yes, that's the end of the story, right and goodbye. 297 00:14:48,640 --> 00:14:50,360 Speaker 1: She had no more tears going out the door. But 298 00:14:50,400 --> 00:14:53,440 Speaker 1: guess who had big fat crocodile tears the next day 299 00:14:53,480 --> 00:14:56,240 Speaker 1: when he stumbled in wondering why his card wasn't working. 300 00:14:56,760 --> 00:15:00,520 Speaker 1: That's right. Then he was crying because how could he 301 00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:04,120 Speaker 1: live without her paycheck? Who was going to pay his bills? 302 00:15:04,520 --> 00:15:07,800 Speaker 1: Then he said, quote she never thinks of the consequences 303 00:15:07,840 --> 00:15:11,440 Speaker 1: when she does stupid shit like this, and quote When 304 00:15:11,480 --> 00:15:13,520 Speaker 1: I was unmoved by his tears, he turned them off 305 00:15:13,560 --> 00:15:15,800 Speaker 1: like a faucet and stormed out the door. Of course, 306 00:15:16,360 --> 00:15:18,360 Speaker 1: thank you ladies for all you do good. 307 00:15:18,360 --> 00:15:20,880 Speaker 3: I thought it was I thought the scam the lady 308 00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:21,600 Speaker 3: was a scammer. 309 00:15:21,720 --> 00:15:23,240 Speaker 2: No, no, you got okay. 310 00:15:23,400 --> 00:15:25,760 Speaker 1: I think it was basically like they're the customer service 311 00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:29,680 Speaker 1: people who actually give real needed customer service. It stay 312 00:15:29,680 --> 00:15:32,520 Speaker 1: sexy and maybe don't be a money grubbing douche canoe. 313 00:15:33,280 --> 00:15:37,160 Speaker 1: Oh and be kind to customer service personnel. Sarah love it. 314 00:15:37,600 --> 00:15:43,800 Speaker 3: Yeah, this is a side hustle, children's side hustle. Oh yes, 315 00:15:44,120 --> 00:15:47,720 Speaker 3: hello all, you asked for stories about late confessions, late 316 00:15:47,720 --> 00:15:51,240 Speaker 3: in life confessions. Perhaps the story will tickle your fancy. 317 00:15:52,320 --> 00:15:54,280 Speaker 3: I was in grade nine when I realized that I 318 00:15:54,280 --> 00:15:57,440 Speaker 3: could forge my mom's signature. All of a sudden, I 319 00:15:57,600 --> 00:16:01,160 Speaker 3: wasn't scooping class. I had an excused apps. The kicker 320 00:16:01,200 --> 00:16:03,120 Speaker 3: to all this. My mom taught at the same high 321 00:16:03,160 --> 00:16:05,760 Speaker 3: school I attended. I would hand in the notes with 322 00:16:05,800 --> 00:16:08,280 Speaker 3: her signature on it, and no one in the office. 323 00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:11,360 Speaker 2: Would question it. That's a fucking dangerous game you're playing. 324 00:16:11,440 --> 00:16:14,520 Speaker 1: That's sloppy. Well, but also yeah, it would literally take 325 00:16:14,560 --> 00:16:17,360 Speaker 1: one of this like huh, just a light curiosity. You'd 326 00:16:17,360 --> 00:16:20,560 Speaker 1: be like comparing this, Hey, Joan, could you just write 327 00:16:20,600 --> 00:16:21,760 Speaker 1: your signature in here for me? 328 00:16:21,880 --> 00:16:24,080 Speaker 2: Andrea called out again today, Joan. 329 00:16:25,560 --> 00:16:27,560 Speaker 3: Every time I brought my report card home, my mom 330 00:16:27,600 --> 00:16:30,760 Speaker 3: would comment about not remembering that many absences, but she 331 00:16:30,920 --> 00:16:33,800 Speaker 3: never followed up on it. One day, a friend asked 332 00:16:33,800 --> 00:16:36,360 Speaker 3: if I could forge her parents signature. She got me 333 00:16:36,360 --> 00:16:38,600 Speaker 3: a sample. I practiced a few times, and my high 334 00:16:38,600 --> 00:16:41,920 Speaker 3: school side hustle was born. For a mere five dollars 335 00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:44,240 Speaker 3: and a sample signature, I could get my friends out 336 00:16:44,240 --> 00:16:48,480 Speaker 3: of class, or sign the disciplinary note that had been 337 00:16:48,520 --> 00:16:51,600 Speaker 3: sent home, or give permission to attend a field trip. 338 00:16:52,160 --> 00:16:54,440 Speaker 3: I kept it fairly low key as to not get caught, 339 00:16:54,480 --> 00:16:56,480 Speaker 3: but I made a nice little sum for it. 340 00:16:56,440 --> 00:16:57,440 Speaker 2: Over the four years. 341 00:16:57,520 --> 00:17:00,440 Speaker 3: Holy shit, five dollars a signature, or maybe like a 342 00:17:00,440 --> 00:17:01,040 Speaker 3: couple of month. 343 00:17:01,440 --> 00:17:04,560 Speaker 1: I wonder what like the blaw she's breaking is like? 344 00:17:04,640 --> 00:17:06,679 Speaker 1: For example, like in Law and Order they're always like, 345 00:17:06,720 --> 00:17:08,880 Speaker 1: this is a Rico case or whatever? What is that? 346 00:17:09,440 --> 00:17:10,680 Speaker 1: I guess forgery? 347 00:17:10,760 --> 00:17:14,240 Speaker 3: But under eighteen a teenager, they proably don't give a shit, right, They're. 348 00:17:14,040 --> 00:17:14,840 Speaker 2: Just going to scare them. 349 00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:17,840 Speaker 1: It's just a field trip, yeah, to the more. 350 00:17:19,640 --> 00:17:21,080 Speaker 2: Liquor store missionary. 351 00:17:21,920 --> 00:17:25,200 Speaker 3: My sister could got my mom's signature down so hard 352 00:17:25,240 --> 00:17:26,960 Speaker 3: she used to do it for us, of course she did, 353 00:17:27,119 --> 00:17:29,520 Speaker 3: uh huh. About six or seven years after I graduated, 354 00:17:29,600 --> 00:17:32,280 Speaker 3: my short stint living the life of a criminal long forgotten, 355 00:17:32,560 --> 00:17:33,560 Speaker 3: and my mom retired. 356 00:17:33,600 --> 00:17:34,680 Speaker 2: The two of us went for lunch. 357 00:17:34,960 --> 00:17:37,159 Speaker 3: She had recently had surgery on her right hand, so 358 00:17:37,200 --> 00:17:39,280 Speaker 3: when the credit card receipt needed to be signed, she 359 00:17:39,320 --> 00:17:41,600 Speaker 3: passed it over to me. She was in the middle 360 00:17:41,600 --> 00:17:43,520 Speaker 3: of telling me not to worry about how it looked, 361 00:17:43,560 --> 00:17:46,240 Speaker 3: because she'd notify the company about the surgery. 362 00:17:46,320 --> 00:17:47,600 Speaker 2: When I, out of. 363 00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:52,360 Speaker 3: Habit, did my perfect forgery of her signature. She took 364 00:17:52,400 --> 00:17:54,840 Speaker 3: one look at the sign receipt and demanded to know 365 00:17:54,960 --> 00:17:57,200 Speaker 3: how long I had been able to sign her name. 366 00:17:57,840 --> 00:18:00,000 Speaker 3: I watched the pieces fall into place. After I told 367 00:18:00,240 --> 00:18:02,720 Speaker 3: I first did in grade nine, she said, I knew 368 00:18:02,720 --> 00:18:05,040 Speaker 3: I had never signed you out of that many classes. 369 00:18:05,920 --> 00:18:08,080 Speaker 3: Since then, I've continued to sign things for her when 370 00:18:08,119 --> 00:18:09,320 Speaker 3: she just doesn't. 371 00:18:09,080 --> 00:18:09,639 Speaker 2: Feel like it. 372 00:18:10,119 --> 00:18:12,560 Speaker 3: The number of birthday checks I've signed for myself and 373 00:18:12,640 --> 00:18:15,000 Speaker 3: my siblings should probably get me into some sort of 374 00:18:15,040 --> 00:18:17,760 Speaker 3: legal trouble. But my mom's hands are shaky now and 375 00:18:17,800 --> 00:18:20,840 Speaker 3: she doesn't want to lose her backup, so she'll never squeal. 376 00:18:21,440 --> 00:18:22,800 Speaker 2: Cheers Andrea, She. 377 00:18:22,960 --> 00:18:27,000 Speaker 1: Her, Andrea, that is perfection, yea, because also that's the 378 00:18:27,119 --> 00:18:29,320 Speaker 1: kind of I feel like we're out of that age 379 00:18:29,800 --> 00:18:32,320 Speaker 1: in the tech age that we're in right that truly 380 00:18:32,359 --> 00:18:34,880 Speaker 1: feels like a Little House on the Prairie story. Totally 381 00:18:35,320 --> 00:18:38,600 Speaker 1: remember when you had to forge signatures and your parents 382 00:18:38,600 --> 00:18:40,720 Speaker 1: wouldn't even know or like it's a report card they 383 00:18:40,760 --> 00:18:41,400 Speaker 1: never knew came. 384 00:18:41,600 --> 00:18:43,680 Speaker 3: It's like driving stick shift, like you won't need that 385 00:18:43,880 --> 00:18:46,600 Speaker 3: and forging signatures until the end days. Yeah, they're going 386 00:18:46,640 --> 00:18:50,080 Speaker 3: to come in handy again someday. I learned the other 387 00:18:50,119 --> 00:18:52,480 Speaker 3: day that Vince doesn't know how to drive stick shift, 388 00:18:52,520 --> 00:18:55,600 Speaker 3: and I kind of was like, you got the egg. 389 00:18:55,960 --> 00:18:57,760 Speaker 2: No, I was just like I thought I knew you. 390 00:18:58,280 --> 00:19:01,560 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, it's a brand. Oh your whole relationship. You're 391 00:19:01,560 --> 00:19:03,520 Speaker 1: gonna have new discoveries. Is't that wonderful? 392 00:19:03,840 --> 00:19:07,080 Speaker 2: Thirteen years in and I'm still like what I was 393 00:19:07,160 --> 00:19:07,719 Speaker 2: very shocked. 394 00:19:08,240 --> 00:19:10,879 Speaker 1: I'm really good at teaching people how to drive stick shift. 395 00:19:10,880 --> 00:19:13,440 Speaker 3: If he ever needs to, great end days, we're gonna 396 00:19:13,480 --> 00:19:14,560 Speaker 3: come over, Yes exactly. 397 00:19:14,880 --> 00:19:17,040 Speaker 1: We'll mount a machine gun on the phone. 398 00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:20,439 Speaker 3: We'll get the little brothers in the back with his 399 00:19:20,560 --> 00:19:21,359 Speaker 3: fucking right. 400 00:19:21,320 --> 00:19:23,800 Speaker 1: Yep, we'll tape him to the front mad Max style. 401 00:19:26,160 --> 00:19:26,560 Speaker 2: Okay. 402 00:19:26,800 --> 00:19:30,320 Speaker 1: My last one is I have a deathbed treasure hunt story. 403 00:19:30,800 --> 00:19:32,960 Speaker 2: Come on those two things together. 404 00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:36,680 Speaker 1: Yeah, and listen to this. Hey you guys, Greetings from Wisconsin. 405 00:19:36,920 --> 00:19:40,040 Speaker 1: So it's kind good. You love kookie grandparents stories, you 406 00:19:40,080 --> 00:19:42,920 Speaker 1: love treasure, you ask for deathbed treasure hunts and minnesot 407 00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:47,120 Speaker 1: for sent before and this story has it. Oh, let 408 00:19:47,160 --> 00:19:50,320 Speaker 1: me introduce you to my Grandpa Randall, whom I affectionately 409 00:19:50,400 --> 00:19:52,480 Speaker 1: call And this kind of ruined it for me, but 410 00:19:52,520 --> 00:19:58,080 Speaker 1: we're going to power through it. Grampy Gray was Grampy 411 00:19:58,200 --> 00:20:00,520 Speaker 1: was the true definition of a self made man. He 412 00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:04,240 Speaker 1: rode bucking broncos in the rodeo. He had his pilot's license. 413 00:20:04,400 --> 00:20:07,320 Speaker 1: He was a business owner twice over all on just 414 00:20:07,359 --> 00:20:11,680 Speaker 1: an eighth grade education. Wow, see, we're like Grampy. He 415 00:20:11,760 --> 00:20:14,280 Speaker 1: loved telling us stories of his childhood in the forties, 416 00:20:14,520 --> 00:20:16,920 Speaker 1: like how his parents gave chickens to the local hospital 417 00:20:16,920 --> 00:20:18,360 Speaker 1: to settle a medical tih. 418 00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:21,240 Speaker 2: My god, amazing. 419 00:20:24,119 --> 00:20:26,360 Speaker 3: Gee, I just think you're like I pictured them giving 420 00:20:26,400 --> 00:20:28,479 Speaker 3: them to the medical center to become doctors. And then 421 00:20:28,480 --> 00:20:31,600 Speaker 3: the chickens had little like doctors cats on and little stethoscopes. 422 00:20:31,920 --> 00:20:36,760 Speaker 2: They come, they're not food, they become the doctor. That's right. 423 00:20:36,760 --> 00:20:38,960 Speaker 1: We got to get these guys in training. We need 424 00:20:38,960 --> 00:20:42,239 Speaker 1: more help and X ray okay. So, or how they 425 00:20:42,240 --> 00:20:45,639 Speaker 1: would trade car parts from their salvage yard for tattoos. 426 00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:49,320 Speaker 1: Amazing even see you. I have him to thank for 427 00:20:49,400 --> 00:20:51,760 Speaker 1: my love of true crime. I can remember spending my 428 00:20:51,960 --> 00:20:55,080 Speaker 1: many childhood sleepovers at Grammy and Grampy's curled up in 429 00:20:55,080 --> 00:20:57,080 Speaker 1: the living room. Oh, it makes more sense with Grammy 430 00:20:57,160 --> 00:21:00,520 Speaker 1: sounds gross. We can't have a freestanding Grampy. It's just 431 00:21:00,600 --> 00:21:04,080 Speaker 1: too thick. Yeah, curled up in the living room, eating 432 00:21:04,119 --> 00:21:07,440 Speaker 1: peach rings and cheese bopcorn dam and watching true crime 433 00:21:07,440 --> 00:21:10,159 Speaker 1: classics like Forensic Files in Dateline. He was quick with 434 00:21:10,200 --> 00:21:12,960 Speaker 1: a joke and even quicker to tell us he loved us. Sadly, 435 00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:15,760 Speaker 1: we lost him in twenty nineteen, about a year after 436 00:21:15,800 --> 00:21:17,760 Speaker 1: his passing. I was sitting at my grandma's kitchen table 437 00:21:17,840 --> 00:21:21,800 Speaker 1: drinking coffee when Grammy abruptly blurted out, Have I told 438 00:21:21,840 --> 00:21:27,120 Speaker 1: you about your Grandpa's hidden stash? Huh? I asked, uh No, 439 00:21:27,400 --> 00:21:30,520 Speaker 1: But I need to know. Then she proceeded to tell 440 00:21:30,520 --> 00:21:33,719 Speaker 1: me this story. A few months after he died, Grammy 441 00:21:33,760 --> 00:21:36,160 Speaker 1: had finally worked up the courage to go through some 442 00:21:36,200 --> 00:21:39,639 Speaker 1: of Granby's belongings when she was cleaning out his wallet. 443 00:21:39,760 --> 00:21:41,679 Speaker 1: Tucked in the very back was a piece of paper 444 00:21:41,720 --> 00:21:44,679 Speaker 1: folded up with her name on it. Upon unfolding it, 445 00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:47,359 Speaker 1: she was confused to find a rough drawn outline of 446 00:21:47,440 --> 00:21:48,000 Speaker 1: their home. 447 00:21:48,440 --> 00:21:49,280 Speaker 2: Oh my god. 448 00:21:49,400 --> 00:21:52,639 Speaker 1: As she examined it closer, she realized it was a 449 00:21:52,720 --> 00:21:57,199 Speaker 1: treasure map X marks the spot and all. After a 450 00:21:57,280 --> 00:22:00,320 Speaker 1: quick hunt, she located the stash in the utility room 451 00:22:00,359 --> 00:22:03,119 Speaker 1: next to the water heater, and tucked into the wall 452 00:22:03,280 --> 00:22:06,640 Speaker 1: behind a loose piece of insulation was a ziploc bag 453 00:22:07,359 --> 00:22:11,800 Speaker 1: stuffed with cash. Yes, over the decade that they had 454 00:22:11,840 --> 00:22:14,720 Speaker 1: lived there, he had squirreled away over six thousand dollars. 455 00:22:14,760 --> 00:22:18,800 Speaker 1: Holy shit, safe to say. When she moved out that summer, 456 00:22:18,840 --> 00:22:21,480 Speaker 1: she turned that place inside out, making sure there wasn't 457 00:22:21,520 --> 00:22:24,800 Speaker 1: another hidden stash. There wasn't. Thanks for keeping me company 458 00:22:24,840 --> 00:22:27,800 Speaker 1: and adding some joy to the otherwise mundane tasks of life. 459 00:22:28,359 --> 00:22:32,000 Speaker 1: Stay sexy and hug your grandparents, Robin, She her. 460 00:22:32,320 --> 00:22:34,840 Speaker 2: Oh my god, that is amazing. 461 00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:37,000 Speaker 3: I am gonna make vince We're worth going to buy 462 00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:40,000 Speaker 3: each other a present, hide a map in case one 463 00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:40,520 Speaker 3: of us dies. 464 00:22:40,640 --> 00:22:43,280 Speaker 1: Yes, right, post death surprises and price. 465 00:22:43,359 --> 00:22:44,120 Speaker 2: I love that. 466 00:22:44,480 --> 00:22:45,359 Speaker 1: It's really sweet. 467 00:22:45,359 --> 00:22:48,080 Speaker 2: It's so sweet, it's really a lovely wee. 468 00:22:48,600 --> 00:22:51,480 Speaker 1: Cash is amazing. But then any kind of like, Hey, 469 00:22:52,160 --> 00:22:54,359 Speaker 1: I was thinking of you before I left. 470 00:22:54,520 --> 00:22:58,720 Speaker 2: Before I left this murder mortal coil, I love it. Yeah, okay. 471 00:22:58,720 --> 00:23:02,560 Speaker 3: My last one is called Little Sister Lore. Hi friends, 472 00:23:02,680 --> 00:23:06,480 Speaker 3: longtime listener and lifetime older sister. Here. I've spent the 473 00:23:06,520 --> 00:23:08,680 Speaker 3: last time plus years trying to get my little sister 474 00:23:08,760 --> 00:23:11,160 Speaker 3: Mandy to listen to your show, simply because you guys 475 00:23:11,160 --> 00:23:14,200 Speaker 3: get the dynamic we have. It's exhausting being right all 476 00:23:14,240 --> 00:23:14,639 Speaker 3: the time. 477 00:23:15,400 --> 00:23:16,200 Speaker 2: Mandy is the. 478 00:23:16,119 --> 00:23:18,720 Speaker 3: Best kind of person, a con artist in her past 479 00:23:18,800 --> 00:23:21,720 Speaker 3: life with the biggest heart. When we were ten and 480 00:23:21,720 --> 00:23:24,000 Speaker 3: twelve ish back in the nineties, we'd go to Costco 481 00:23:24,080 --> 00:23:26,399 Speaker 3: with our parents every week. We weren't allowed to be 482 00:23:26,480 --> 00:23:28,800 Speaker 3: left alone in the aerostar after we thought it would 483 00:23:28,800 --> 00:23:30,720 Speaker 3: be funny one time to hide under the seats when 484 00:23:30,720 --> 00:23:33,399 Speaker 3: our parents came back from shopping, making them think we 485 00:23:33,400 --> 00:23:34,080 Speaker 3: were kidnapped. 486 00:23:34,160 --> 00:23:37,160 Speaker 1: Yes, fuck yeah, when the kids do it, it's funny. Yeah, 487 00:23:37,200 --> 00:23:38,359 Speaker 1: when the kids do it, it's. 488 00:23:38,440 --> 00:23:41,679 Speaker 3: When the parents know, and then it says whoops. In 489 00:23:41,720 --> 00:23:43,840 Speaker 3: the store, I'd spend the whole time in the book 490 00:23:43,880 --> 00:23:46,840 Speaker 3: section while my parents shop, and Mandy would be my shadow. 491 00:23:47,080 --> 00:23:48,280 Speaker 3: One day, when it came time. 492 00:23:48,160 --> 00:23:50,040 Speaker 2: To check out. A worker approached our. 493 00:23:49,960 --> 00:23:52,720 Speaker 3: Family and told us to come to the manager's office, 494 00:23:52,960 --> 00:23:57,040 Speaker 3: where it was revealed that my tiny, sweet Mandy shoplifted 495 00:23:57,400 --> 00:23:59,760 Speaker 3: an electronic translator. 496 00:24:01,520 --> 00:24:02,240 Speaker 2: The nineties. 497 00:24:03,040 --> 00:24:05,080 Speaker 3: The worker accused both of us of being in on it, 498 00:24:05,160 --> 00:24:08,840 Speaker 3: and my no bullshit Filipina nurse mother immediately said, no, 499 00:24:09,119 --> 00:24:12,439 Speaker 3: I know this one, pointing to me her eldest didn't 500 00:24:12,440 --> 00:24:15,720 Speaker 3: do it. It had to be my younger daughter. She 501 00:24:15,840 --> 00:24:17,840 Speaker 3: knew us and immediately set the story straight. 502 00:24:17,880 --> 00:24:18,560 Speaker 2: And she was right. 503 00:24:18,960 --> 00:24:21,679 Speaker 3: I was none the wiser wanting to read. Mandy was 504 00:24:21,680 --> 00:24:24,440 Speaker 3: a sneaky kid who saw a translator system, knowing I 505 00:24:24,520 --> 00:24:26,920 Speaker 3: wanted to learn a new language and wanted. 506 00:24:26,640 --> 00:24:27,679 Speaker 2: To steal it for me. 507 00:24:28,280 --> 00:24:32,600 Speaker 3: Oh so criminally sweet, we had to abandoned the huge 508 00:24:32,600 --> 00:24:34,760 Speaker 3: cart of groceries. They wouldn't even let them check out. 509 00:24:35,160 --> 00:24:37,160 Speaker 3: Am I gonna get fucking toilet paper in bulk? 510 00:24:37,720 --> 00:24:40,920 Speaker 1: I mean? And also, just don't punish the mother of 511 00:24:40,960 --> 00:24:42,360 Speaker 1: the older sister totally. 512 00:24:43,119 --> 00:24:45,560 Speaker 2: Mandy was banned from Costco for a whole year. 513 00:24:46,119 --> 00:24:47,160 Speaker 1: She did it at Costco. 514 00:24:47,560 --> 00:24:50,439 Speaker 3: Yeah, and she had to write an apology letter to 515 00:24:50,480 --> 00:24:50,919 Speaker 3: the store. 516 00:24:51,320 --> 00:24:53,560 Speaker 2: It's extreme, our family. 517 00:24:53,359 --> 00:24:54,679 Speaker 1: Hot dogs, I'm so sorry. 518 00:24:55,640 --> 00:24:58,480 Speaker 3: Our family still laughs about this today, because while Mandy 519 00:24:58,520 --> 00:25:02,080 Speaker 3: avoided a life of crime, I ever stopped being the creative, considerate, 520 00:25:02,160 --> 00:25:06,639 Speaker 3: and fearless woman only little sisters can be. I know 521 00:25:06,720 --> 00:25:09,520 Speaker 3: you both talk a lot about your role as younger sisters, 522 00:25:09,520 --> 00:25:12,439 Speaker 3: and while us elders can be bossy, deep down we 523 00:25:12,600 --> 00:25:15,359 Speaker 3: love you more than any book, fancy new gadget or 524 00:25:15,440 --> 00:25:19,400 Speaker 3: cartful of wholesale priced goods. Plus, I think the funniest 525 00:25:19,400 --> 00:25:21,200 Speaker 3: people in the world are baby sisters. 526 00:25:21,840 --> 00:25:25,199 Speaker 2: Sorry, Laura and Leah, but it's true. It is true. 527 00:25:25,480 --> 00:25:28,000 Speaker 1: Thank you. That's an official older sister vote. 528 00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:30,720 Speaker 3: Hell yeah, it's why this podcast is my favorite breath 529 00:25:30,760 --> 00:25:35,359 Speaker 3: of comedic fresh air. Oh my god, eat that, Laura, Lea. 530 00:25:35,560 --> 00:25:37,280 Speaker 1: Laura's like, I don't know that you're saying that because 531 00:25:37,320 --> 00:25:38,200 Speaker 1: I don't look exactly. 532 00:25:38,760 --> 00:25:39,840 Speaker 2: My sister is like same. 533 00:25:40,040 --> 00:25:41,000 Speaker 1: Lea's like, can't hear you. 534 00:25:41,080 --> 00:25:43,320 Speaker 3: Yeah, stay sexy and don't steal from one of the 535 00:25:43,359 --> 00:25:46,920 Speaker 3: few companies that stand firmly with DEI initiatives and sell 536 00:25:46,960 --> 00:25:48,199 Speaker 3: a dollar fifty hot dogs. 537 00:25:48,600 --> 00:25:51,560 Speaker 1: Missy, Missy, thank you for that messaging at the end. 538 00:25:51,680 --> 00:25:55,120 Speaker 1: That was flawless, Missy, very strong. Cosco is now on 539 00:25:55,160 --> 00:25:57,560 Speaker 1: TikTok and one of the first videos was that guy 540 00:25:57,800 --> 00:26:00,800 Speaker 1: that said he'll never raise the heat. He told the 541 00:26:00,840 --> 00:26:02,399 Speaker 1: CEO that if you ever raised the price of the 542 00:26:02,400 --> 00:26:03,240 Speaker 1: hot dogs, I'll kill you. 543 00:26:03,280 --> 00:26:03,919 Speaker 2: Oh my god. 544 00:26:03,880 --> 00:26:06,240 Speaker 1: The owner basically, and he made a video of himself 545 00:26:06,280 --> 00:26:07,280 Speaker 1: eating one of the hot dogs. 546 00:26:07,280 --> 00:26:11,679 Speaker 3: Hell yeah, so good, missy, you've shoplifted our hearts. 547 00:26:11,920 --> 00:26:14,440 Speaker 2: Thank you for that email, and thank you guys for listening. 548 00:26:14,600 --> 00:26:16,080 Speaker 1: Yeah, this was a really good one. This is a 549 00:26:16,160 --> 00:26:16,600 Speaker 1: nice bout. 550 00:26:16,640 --> 00:26:18,480 Speaker 3: Send us your stories, whatever they may be at My 551 00:26:18,480 --> 00:26:21,320 Speaker 3: Favorite Murder at gmail. We need to hear from middle sisters. 552 00:26:22,040 --> 00:26:24,119 Speaker 3: Oh my god, what are they like? 553 00:26:24,359 --> 00:26:29,680 Speaker 1: What's the fifth of five? Sisters? Act like Jesus so 554 00:26:30,720 --> 00:26:33,560 Speaker 1: the book Little Women? Oh all right, we'll. 555 00:26:33,480 --> 00:26:35,160 Speaker 2: Stay sexy and don't get murdered. 556 00:26:35,680 --> 00:26:37,760 Speaker 1: Goodbye. Never read Little Women? 557 00:26:38,480 --> 00:26:40,440 Speaker 2: Sae Elvis, do you want to COOKI? 558 00:26:48,400 --> 00:26:50,200 Speaker 1: This has been an exactly right production. 559 00:26:50,359 --> 00:26:52,520 Speaker 3: Our managing producer is Molly Smith. 560 00:26:52,320 --> 00:26:54,919 Speaker 1: Our consulting producer is Kate Shellenbach. 561 00:26:54,440 --> 00:26:56,600 Speaker 2: Our creative lead is Alison Agosti. 562 00:26:56,359 --> 00:26:59,879 Speaker 1: Our associate producer is Tessa Hughes, and our editor is Aristotle. 563 00:27:00,720 --> 00:27:02,800 Speaker 2: This episode was mixed by Leona Squillacci. 564 00:27:03,000 --> 00:27:05,680 Speaker 1: Email your hometowns to My Favorite Murder at gmail dot 565 00:27:05,720 --> 00:27:08,920 Speaker 1: com and follow the show on Instagram at My Favorite Murder. 566 00:27:09,000 --> 00:27:11,679 Speaker 3: Listen to My Favorite Murder on the iHeartRadio app, Apple 567 00:27:11,720 --> 00:27:14,280 Speaker 3: Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts, or. 568 00:27:14,359 --> 00:27:17,600 Speaker 1: Watch new episodes every week on Netflix. Search for My 569 00:27:17,680 --> 00:27:20,199 Speaker 1: Favorite Murder, add us to your list, and hit the 570 00:27:20,240 --> 00:27:23,440 Speaker 1: double thumbsup button. Goodbye,