1 00:00:00,720 --> 00:00:04,960 Speaker 1: Scrubbing In with Becca Tilly and Tanya red An iHeartRadio podcast. 2 00:00:10,240 --> 00:00:15,280 Speaker 2: Hello everybody, we are scrubbing in. It's Thursday and we 3 00:00:15,400 --> 00:00:18,520 Speaker 2: have a book club episode. 4 00:00:18,920 --> 00:00:21,919 Speaker 3: Are we doing this right? By the way, Like, is 5 00:00:21,960 --> 00:00:24,320 Speaker 3: this how book I've never been in a There are 6 00:00:24,360 --> 00:00:25,000 Speaker 3: no rules. 7 00:00:25,120 --> 00:00:26,239 Speaker 1: You guys can do it, however, I. 8 00:00:26,160 --> 00:00:30,320 Speaker 3: Want to want Okay, are people enjoying this? Like, are 9 00:00:30,360 --> 00:00:32,120 Speaker 3: we getting any feedback. 10 00:00:32,200 --> 00:00:32,920 Speaker 1: One of these? Haven't you? 11 00:00:33,120 --> 00:00:35,159 Speaker 2: Yeah? Oh? 12 00:00:35,200 --> 00:00:35,440 Speaker 3: Really? 13 00:00:35,560 --> 00:00:39,640 Speaker 4: Yeah, yes, You've gotten great feedback. Everyone loves it. We've 14 00:00:39,640 --> 00:00:40,640 Speaker 4: gotten lots of dms. 15 00:00:40,920 --> 00:00:42,680 Speaker 1: Have you given Hana her index card yet? 16 00:00:43,240 --> 00:00:45,080 Speaker 3: I have not given on her index card. 17 00:00:45,159 --> 00:00:46,080 Speaker 1: I'm looking forward to that. 18 00:00:46,400 --> 00:00:46,680 Speaker 2: Really. 19 00:00:47,520 --> 00:00:50,400 Speaker 4: Yeah, hopefully it brings some excitement to my life. 20 00:00:50,960 --> 00:00:52,760 Speaker 3: It will. It brought me the love of my life. 21 00:00:52,520 --> 00:00:52,720 Speaker 5: I know. 22 00:00:52,760 --> 00:00:53,640 Speaker 4: I'm so excited. 23 00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:55,800 Speaker 1: I just feel like Tina's more open to receiving the 24 00:00:55,800 --> 00:00:56,800 Speaker 1: love of her life. 25 00:00:57,200 --> 00:00:59,800 Speaker 4: Is my goal for my twenty fourth year in life 26 00:01:00,120 --> 00:01:04,000 Speaker 4: to be more open minded, so to dating just in 27 00:01:04,040 --> 00:01:05,080 Speaker 4: general in general. 28 00:01:05,680 --> 00:01:06,280 Speaker 2: I love that. 29 00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:12,640 Speaker 4: So I think this is a good time. Yep, so 30 00:01:13,040 --> 00:01:16,080 Speaker 4: close minded in me, I would either of those things. 31 00:01:16,240 --> 00:01:18,360 Speaker 1: No, I think just the way you talk, you're just 32 00:01:18,400 --> 00:01:20,600 Speaker 1: kind of talking like this, like you don't really, you 33 00:01:20,640 --> 00:01:22,119 Speaker 1: don't sound passionate about this. 34 00:01:22,240 --> 00:01:24,080 Speaker 4: I'm just a monotone person. 35 00:01:27,480 --> 00:01:32,399 Speaker 2: Anyways. No, I just know the person that gets to 36 00:01:32,440 --> 00:01:35,039 Speaker 2: be with you, Hanna is going to be very lucky, 37 00:01:35,200 --> 00:01:38,680 Speaker 2: whether this index card brings him in or you call 38 00:01:38,800 --> 00:01:42,680 Speaker 2: in the one or you just have a kismet connection. 39 00:01:43,319 --> 00:01:47,840 Speaker 3: An Honestly, I think you would really benefit from calling 40 00:01:47,880 --> 00:01:50,960 Speaker 3: in the one because it does encourage you to like 41 00:01:51,040 --> 00:01:52,360 Speaker 3: block out all those things. 42 00:01:52,520 --> 00:01:54,200 Speaker 1: Did you do a workbook for seven weeks? 43 00:01:54,440 --> 00:01:54,880 Speaker 2: I would. 44 00:01:55,240 --> 00:01:57,880 Speaker 3: It's so good. It's it's like therapy. It's like therapy 45 00:01:57,920 --> 00:02:00,920 Speaker 3: in a book that you do on your own. I'll 46 00:02:00,960 --> 00:02:03,560 Speaker 3: do it and I'll report back it's really good. I 47 00:02:03,560 --> 00:02:07,440 Speaker 3: would do it again. Why because it helped me just 48 00:02:07,440 --> 00:02:10,080 Speaker 3: get figure out a lot of stuff in my brain. 49 00:02:10,680 --> 00:02:13,200 Speaker 6: Do you recommend people in relationships do calling in the one? 50 00:02:13,240 --> 00:02:16,120 Speaker 3: Honestly, I don't know, because, like, but I do think 51 00:02:16,120 --> 00:02:18,280 Speaker 3: it helped me, like kind of like it makes you 52 00:02:18,320 --> 00:02:20,200 Speaker 3: realize all these packs that you made. Like I remember, 53 00:02:20,280 --> 00:02:22,120 Speaker 3: I made a pact with Andy, this guy that used 54 00:02:22,120 --> 00:02:24,840 Speaker 3: to work with us, that if like by forty we 55 00:02:24,840 --> 00:02:26,960 Speaker 3: weren't neither one of us were married, we would marry 56 00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:30,080 Speaker 3: each other. And like having those packs is actually like 57 00:02:30,160 --> 00:02:32,280 Speaker 3: really bad because it's putting out into the universe that 58 00:02:32,400 --> 00:02:35,080 Speaker 3: like you're not gonna be married until you're forty, and 59 00:02:35,120 --> 00:02:36,520 Speaker 3: so you have to go back and kind of like 60 00:02:36,560 --> 00:02:37,919 Speaker 3: dissolve all these like. 61 00:02:38,280 --> 00:02:39,120 Speaker 2: Did you have those? 62 00:02:39,440 --> 00:02:39,840 Speaker 1: Yeah? 63 00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:43,120 Speaker 3: Oh, I called Andy and told him we cannot marry 64 00:02:43,160 --> 00:02:45,880 Speaker 3: each other. And he's like, I have a girlfriend. I've 65 00:02:45,880 --> 00:02:47,400 Speaker 3: had a girlfriend for like three years. 66 00:02:48,440 --> 00:02:51,560 Speaker 2: I wouldn't die for like a rom com based on 67 00:02:51,680 --> 00:02:56,160 Speaker 2: your stories, Like it would be so good that scene alone, 68 00:02:56,600 --> 00:02:58,960 Speaker 2: like you being like I have to make the call 69 00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:01,440 Speaker 2: and you're like all nervous, like he's gonna be heartbroken, 70 00:03:01,560 --> 00:03:03,560 Speaker 2: and you call it and you're like, I just had 71 00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:05,280 Speaker 2: to let you know, like we have to dissolve our pack. 72 00:03:05,560 --> 00:03:07,799 Speaker 3: He's like, we cannot get married if we are single. 73 00:03:07,840 --> 00:03:14,560 Speaker 2: By the like I'm engaged, the back was long dissolved. 74 00:03:14,639 --> 00:03:17,760 Speaker 3: Yeah, he was like, yeah, I figured, so I have 75 00:03:17,800 --> 00:03:19,520 Speaker 3: a girlfriend that I've been dating for I don't know 76 00:03:19,520 --> 00:03:21,120 Speaker 3: how many years. I was like, okay, so just so 77 00:03:21,160 --> 00:03:25,160 Speaker 3: we're clear, Just so we're clear that this arrangement is dissolved. 78 00:03:26,040 --> 00:03:28,400 Speaker 2: Hailey said she'd watch a show like based around You, 79 00:03:28,520 --> 00:03:30,959 Speaker 2: so maybe like she can produce it. And direct it 80 00:03:31,080 --> 00:03:34,639 Speaker 2: because there's a success story here. 81 00:03:34,720 --> 00:03:37,000 Speaker 3: Yeah, but like you have, you have all these things 82 00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:38,600 Speaker 3: that you did and that you did in your like 83 00:03:38,800 --> 00:03:41,560 Speaker 3: teens and twenties that put all that bad juju out 84 00:03:41,600 --> 00:03:43,640 Speaker 3: there and you have to go back and correct it. 85 00:03:44,120 --> 00:03:46,400 Speaker 1: I encourage scrubbers to go through YouTube and see some 86 00:03:46,440 --> 00:03:48,280 Speaker 1: of the old Tanya ad videos that are out there 87 00:03:48,320 --> 00:03:50,480 Speaker 1: from the Morning Show, like the date with a snowboarder 88 00:03:50,520 --> 00:03:52,880 Speaker 1: and stuff like that. There's so funny and they're so 89 00:03:53,160 --> 00:03:55,920 Speaker 1: it's still so the one where this isn't a dating one, 90 00:03:55,920 --> 00:04:01,119 Speaker 1: but at the Haunted House, that's a good, great classic 91 00:04:01,160 --> 00:04:02,240 Speaker 1: time you're at from. 92 00:04:03,280 --> 00:04:04,960 Speaker 6: I love Ryan making you spit out your gum. 93 00:04:06,160 --> 00:04:10,960 Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, I was like, thanks Dad, okay. 94 00:04:12,680 --> 00:04:12,840 Speaker 4: Oh. 95 00:04:12,880 --> 00:04:15,160 Speaker 2: I was also thinking about this. So last week when 96 00:04:15,480 --> 00:04:17,640 Speaker 2: we were in the studio, you were talking about how 97 00:04:17,720 --> 00:04:20,039 Speaker 2: y'all used to sit like way closer to each other, 98 00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:21,920 Speaker 2: like everyone's a little closer, and you were like, oh, yeah, 99 00:04:21,920 --> 00:04:23,799 Speaker 2: it's so nice. Now I have my own little oasis 100 00:04:23,800 --> 00:04:26,599 Speaker 2: over there in my space, and it was making it 101 00:04:26,640 --> 00:04:32,039 Speaker 2: made me think about how like certain in certain situations, 102 00:04:32,080 --> 00:04:35,159 Speaker 2: even though generally with certain people you love to be 103 00:04:35,320 --> 00:04:38,760 Speaker 2: right next to them, there are also situations where you 104 00:04:38,800 --> 00:04:42,120 Speaker 2: do like your space, you're not always consistently needing to 105 00:04:42,160 --> 00:04:43,120 Speaker 2: be next to the person. 106 00:04:43,279 --> 00:04:44,400 Speaker 3: The pandemic changed me. 107 00:04:45,680 --> 00:04:50,320 Speaker 2: Mmm. I think so during the pandemic and like when 108 00:04:50,320 --> 00:04:52,320 Speaker 2: we were doing the podcast at your house, it was 109 00:04:52,480 --> 00:04:54,440 Speaker 2: very encouraged. I sat on the same side of the 110 00:04:54,480 --> 00:04:54,960 Speaker 2: desk with you. 111 00:04:55,080 --> 00:04:56,400 Speaker 3: Yes, but you're like family to me. 112 00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:58,720 Speaker 2: Okay, So that's what I'm saying. So it's different people, 113 00:04:58,800 --> 00:05:02,279 Speaker 2: because I think what's been portrayed on Instagram and social 114 00:05:02,320 --> 00:05:05,200 Speaker 2: media about me, like from your perspective is that I 115 00:05:05,240 --> 00:05:08,799 Speaker 2: don't like physical touch or hugs, but like with Haley, 116 00:05:09,120 --> 00:05:12,840 Speaker 2: I have like no limit, like I never need space. 117 00:05:12,920 --> 00:05:16,039 Speaker 2: I'm like, totally fine. I think it's just like I 118 00:05:16,080 --> 00:05:21,039 Speaker 2: think in general, in that deeper no I'm saying, I 119 00:05:21,080 --> 00:05:25,800 Speaker 2: almost think when it's forced upon you, it like. 120 00:05:25,839 --> 00:05:27,240 Speaker 3: So I have to play hard to get with you. 121 00:05:27,600 --> 00:05:28,599 Speaker 3: We're so far past that. 122 00:05:29,800 --> 00:05:32,000 Speaker 2: Well, No, yeah, I think we're I think if you 123 00:05:32,080 --> 00:05:33,800 Speaker 2: tried to play hard again, I'd be like, oh, she's 124 00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:36,920 Speaker 2: trying to get my attention, which would make me which 125 00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:40,560 Speaker 2: would make you unreceptive. Oh so you know, so your 126 00:05:40,560 --> 00:05:42,359 Speaker 2: best option is to just force it on me. I 127 00:05:42,360 --> 00:05:45,560 Speaker 2: guess if you want it, But I was just thinking 128 00:05:45,600 --> 00:05:49,600 Speaker 2: about the difference because people are like, well, Becca's love 129 00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:53,880 Speaker 2: language is definitely not like physical touch, but that is 130 00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:56,320 Speaker 2: physical touch and quality time or like my two top 131 00:05:56,440 --> 00:05:59,520 Speaker 2: leve languages in my relationship, which I think is so interesting. 132 00:05:59,680 --> 00:06:01,320 Speaker 3: It is interesting because. 133 00:06:01,400 --> 00:06:04,159 Speaker 2: How people think of me based on what you both. 134 00:06:04,279 --> 00:06:07,240 Speaker 2: They're like, dang, Haley MutS be lonely. 135 00:06:08,839 --> 00:06:11,640 Speaker 3: She's begging for. 136 00:06:09,720 --> 00:06:14,120 Speaker 2: A Yeah, so I thought that was interesting, Yeah, because 137 00:06:14,120 --> 00:06:16,360 Speaker 2: I was like, oh, Tanya also gets like that just 138 00:06:16,400 --> 00:06:17,480 Speaker 2: depends on who it is. 139 00:06:17,600 --> 00:06:19,360 Speaker 3: I think the pandemic changed me. I think when like 140 00:06:19,400 --> 00:06:20,919 Speaker 3: I remember when we came back in for the first 141 00:06:20,920 --> 00:06:24,200 Speaker 3: time the studio, I was like, oh, so many people 142 00:06:24,240 --> 00:06:26,960 Speaker 3: are really close to me. This feels weird. 143 00:06:27,880 --> 00:06:31,320 Speaker 2: It did, yeah, but not for like people such as me. 144 00:06:31,560 --> 00:06:36,760 Speaker 3: Correct, yeah, key ones like that girl like lucky, girls 145 00:06:36,880 --> 00:06:37,359 Speaker 3: like you. 146 00:06:38,960 --> 00:06:42,240 Speaker 2: So the chapters that you were encouraged to read for 147 00:06:42,360 --> 00:06:47,000 Speaker 2: this week of book club, yes, Teacher, were parts nine 148 00:06:47,400 --> 00:06:50,920 Speaker 2: Dragons through part thirteen imagine. 149 00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:55,120 Speaker 3: Can I tell you? And so again I'm not so 150 00:06:55,240 --> 00:06:56,720 Speaker 3: great with this book club and the fact that I 151 00:06:56,760 --> 00:06:59,240 Speaker 3: should probably take better notes, like I should write down 152 00:06:59,279 --> 00:07:01,520 Speaker 3: like what page my quotes came from. I'll do better 153 00:07:01,560 --> 00:07:04,720 Speaker 3: next week. But there was a quote that I want 154 00:07:04,760 --> 00:07:09,640 Speaker 3: to talk about okay because it was so good. Destruction 155 00:07:10,640 --> 00:07:15,160 Speaker 3: is essential to construction. If we want to build the new, 156 00:07:15,440 --> 00:07:21,000 Speaker 3: we must be willing to let the old burn. How 157 00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:23,960 Speaker 3: good is that? In order to create, in order to 158 00:07:24,080 --> 00:07:31,200 Speaker 3: construction construct something new, it requires destruction, It requires getting 159 00:07:31,280 --> 00:07:37,280 Speaker 3: rid of the old, burning it down, letting it die. 160 00:07:39,160 --> 00:07:40,400 Speaker 3: Did not hit you the way it hit me. 161 00:07:40,840 --> 00:07:45,960 Speaker 2: I think it's well, it's similar into it's always like, 162 00:07:47,920 --> 00:07:50,240 Speaker 2: it's just what you were talking about, how you made 163 00:07:50,240 --> 00:07:53,320 Speaker 2: these packs with these people. Yes, and you have to 164 00:07:53,360 --> 00:07:56,160 Speaker 2: go back and destruct them to build something new, to 165 00:07:56,160 --> 00:07:56,880 Speaker 2: build your future. 166 00:07:57,000 --> 00:08:00,920 Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly, Becca, That's exactly it. 167 00:08:16,920 --> 00:08:18,400 Speaker 2: Well, I think it's true. I think a lot of 168 00:08:18,440 --> 00:08:21,800 Speaker 2: times I even think that sometimes this might be going 169 00:08:21,840 --> 00:08:26,640 Speaker 2: too deep into it. But you know, when if a 170 00:08:26,680 --> 00:08:31,280 Speaker 2: relationship isn't working out because let's say one person has 171 00:08:31,320 --> 00:08:33,000 Speaker 2: like trauma that they're trying to work through, where they 172 00:08:33,080 --> 00:08:37,400 Speaker 2: have habits or patterns that they it's so unhealthy for 173 00:08:37,440 --> 00:08:39,840 Speaker 2: the relationship that the relationship eventually ends. 174 00:08:39,880 --> 00:08:40,080 Speaker 5: Right. 175 00:08:40,240 --> 00:08:45,040 Speaker 2: Yeah, until that person fixes that pattern and destructs that pattern, 176 00:08:45,760 --> 00:08:50,040 Speaker 2: they can't even have a healthy relationship with someone new. 177 00:08:50,120 --> 00:08:54,200 Speaker 2: Because if you're continually bringing these unhealthy things into the 178 00:08:54,240 --> 00:09:00,240 Speaker 2: next relationship, then it's always going to end with destruction, right, 179 00:09:01,040 --> 00:09:03,960 Speaker 2: And I think that when Glenna's talking about it, she's 180 00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:06,120 Speaker 2: basically talking about the end of her marriage, and it 181 00:09:06,160 --> 00:09:09,440 Speaker 2: was like she kind of had to destruct everything to 182 00:09:09,559 --> 00:09:13,680 Speaker 2: rebuild the life she has now, and that meant taking 183 00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:17,920 Speaker 2: the risk of her family's approval, her kid's approval, her 184 00:09:17,960 --> 00:09:21,800 Speaker 2: friend's approval, just anyone who was following her. She was 185 00:09:21,840 --> 00:09:25,280 Speaker 2: like an established author at this point, had written about 186 00:09:25,480 --> 00:09:28,000 Speaker 2: her marriage and the struggles and then rebuilding it. And 187 00:09:28,040 --> 00:09:31,760 Speaker 2: while she's at a conference promoting the book that's about 188 00:09:31,760 --> 00:09:33,680 Speaker 2: the reconstruction of her marriage. 189 00:09:33,800 --> 00:09:34,960 Speaker 3: I know, But do you know what I found so 190 00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:37,360 Speaker 3: interesting too, is that she was more concerned about, like 191 00:09:37,400 --> 00:09:41,160 Speaker 3: the storyline of her book being messed up than like 192 00:09:41,160 --> 00:09:43,920 Speaker 3: her actual life. Like I feel like she was more 193 00:09:43,960 --> 00:09:46,400 Speaker 3: concerned that the way that she had written it, the 194 00:09:46,400 --> 00:09:49,000 Speaker 3: way that her book portrayed her life and how it 195 00:09:49,320 --> 00:09:53,080 Speaker 3: played out, is not in actuality how it was happening, 196 00:09:53,120 --> 00:09:56,240 Speaker 3: and she was like more upset that her story was 197 00:09:56,280 --> 00:09:58,360 Speaker 3: failing than her life. 198 00:09:58,559 --> 00:10:02,680 Speaker 2: But that's so exactly how it feels when when you're 199 00:10:02,720 --> 00:10:06,839 Speaker 2: living for other people's expectations, right, You're like, this isn't 200 00:10:06,880 --> 00:10:09,440 Speaker 2: how things are supposed to play out, and this wasn't 201 00:10:09,440 --> 00:10:11,520 Speaker 2: what my life was supposed to look like according to 202 00:10:11,559 --> 00:10:15,000 Speaker 2: other people that I'm trying to please. Yeah, so if 203 00:10:15,080 --> 00:10:17,640 Speaker 2: I make this decision for myself, then I'm gonna let 204 00:10:18,240 --> 00:10:20,280 Speaker 2: all those people down, and I'm going to ruin my 205 00:10:20,559 --> 00:10:23,360 Speaker 2: story that I'm writing or that's supposed to be written 206 00:10:23,360 --> 00:10:23,720 Speaker 2: about me. 207 00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:24,719 Speaker 3: Yeah. 208 00:10:24,800 --> 00:10:28,600 Speaker 2: I had that big time. It was like this, like, wait, 209 00:10:28,679 --> 00:10:31,120 Speaker 2: my whole story was at I was a virgin who 210 00:10:31,200 --> 00:10:34,520 Speaker 2: went on the Bachelor twice and got dumped, and now 211 00:10:34,559 --> 00:10:37,440 Speaker 2: I'm searching for love, to find my happily ever after 212 00:10:37,640 --> 00:10:41,520 Speaker 2: with a man, to have to get married and have 213 00:10:41,640 --> 00:10:46,680 Speaker 2: this grand wedding and have babies with And obviously when 214 00:10:46,720 --> 00:10:49,720 Speaker 2: my life took such a sharp left turn, it was like, 215 00:10:50,800 --> 00:10:54,600 Speaker 2: how do I navigate that? How do I navigate disappointing 216 00:10:54,640 --> 00:10:57,280 Speaker 2: people's expectations of what it was supposed to be and like, 217 00:10:57,520 --> 00:11:02,680 Speaker 2: honestly disappointing my own expectations because other people's expectations became 218 00:11:02,720 --> 00:11:05,240 Speaker 2: my own expectations, right, you know. I took that on 219 00:11:05,360 --> 00:11:06,959 Speaker 2: and I was like, oh, this is what I'm supposed 220 00:11:06,960 --> 00:11:08,240 Speaker 2: to want, So this is what I'm going to do 221 00:11:08,280 --> 00:11:10,960 Speaker 2: for my life. I can be content. I think not 222 00:11:11,240 --> 00:11:15,079 Speaker 2: knowing what love felt like was at my advantage because 223 00:11:15,679 --> 00:11:17,960 Speaker 2: I was content enough and I was like, well, I 224 00:11:17,960 --> 00:11:21,440 Speaker 2: can find happiness. I can find joy now that I 225 00:11:21,520 --> 00:11:23,560 Speaker 2: know what love feels like and what it feels like 226 00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:26,160 Speaker 2: to be in a relationship where you're like obsessed with someone. 227 00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:29,440 Speaker 2: It could never be like that again. Yeah, But at 228 00:11:29,440 --> 00:11:31,880 Speaker 2: that time, I was like, I can make this work. 229 00:11:32,360 --> 00:11:33,959 Speaker 2: I don't think I can fall in love the way 230 00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:36,600 Speaker 2: other people fall in like I'm just not capable of it. Yeah. 231 00:11:36,679 --> 00:11:39,440 Speaker 2: So like I find someone who treats me well and we. 232 00:11:39,559 --> 00:11:41,400 Speaker 3: Have a great life together, and you're in such a 233 00:11:41,400 --> 00:11:46,120 Speaker 3: power position, such a power position, I know, Oh my gosh. 234 00:11:46,200 --> 00:11:49,400 Speaker 3: Not being in love makes you like powerful? Powerful? 235 00:11:52,400 --> 00:11:57,400 Speaker 2: Does love is like the most like powerful thing in 236 00:11:57,440 --> 00:11:58,120 Speaker 2: both ways? 237 00:11:58,600 --> 00:11:59,240 Speaker 3: Yeah? 238 00:11:59,480 --> 00:12:03,280 Speaker 2: Like it's ale edged swords sometimes, do you agree? 239 00:12:03,480 --> 00:12:05,559 Speaker 3: No, because I think I would never want to trade 240 00:12:05,559 --> 00:12:09,400 Speaker 3: being in love or anything. But because you had never 241 00:12:09,440 --> 00:12:13,120 Speaker 3: felt it, I was like, damn, like this is pretty 242 00:12:13,160 --> 00:12:16,160 Speaker 3: like you you've got it good. 243 00:12:17,080 --> 00:12:20,359 Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, because you're like, oh you you can't experience 244 00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:22,800 Speaker 2: heartbreak with that. It's like the same thing that they 245 00:12:22,840 --> 00:12:26,000 Speaker 2: taught when they talk about grief, like how the reason 246 00:12:26,040 --> 00:12:29,400 Speaker 2: people experience grief is because they love so much. So 247 00:12:29,600 --> 00:12:35,439 Speaker 2: like when you don't experience love, you don't experience heartbreak, 248 00:12:35,480 --> 00:12:38,439 Speaker 2: which gives you a sense of confidence and power that 249 00:12:38,559 --> 00:12:41,959 Speaker 2: you can't be destructed. Yeah, So like I learned a 250 00:12:42,080 --> 00:12:44,320 Speaker 2: very hard lesson on what it looked like to like 251 00:12:44,440 --> 00:12:49,560 Speaker 2: destruct expectations and my story and like disappoint people, which 252 00:12:49,600 --> 00:12:51,240 Speaker 2: is my biggest fear at that time. 253 00:12:51,360 --> 00:12:54,319 Speaker 3: That was another note that I made was Glennon Eagles 254 00:12:54,360 --> 00:12:57,679 Speaker 3: beca with her irrational desire to please everybody. 255 00:12:58,640 --> 00:13:03,560 Speaker 2: Yeah, I know, it's it's like so debilitating. It really 256 00:13:03,640 --> 00:13:08,120 Speaker 2: is like to live your life. And I think everything 257 00:13:08,240 --> 00:13:10,400 Speaker 2: changed when I met Haley because I never had to 258 00:13:10,520 --> 00:13:13,160 Speaker 2: make those decisions. I kind of always chose, like what's 259 00:13:13,200 --> 00:13:15,840 Speaker 2: gonna be the easier route for what people think of me? 260 00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:18,480 Speaker 2: You know what it's gonna be like the easier thing 261 00:13:18,480 --> 00:13:20,080 Speaker 2: for where people are gonna be pleased with me? 262 00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:23,440 Speaker 3: Or like you still feel that now, Like you said, 263 00:13:23,480 --> 00:13:25,760 Speaker 3: like you're paralyzed. You don't post stuff on Instagram because 264 00:13:25,760 --> 00:13:27,559 Speaker 3: you're scared of what people are gonna say or think. 265 00:13:28,240 --> 00:13:31,280 Speaker 2: Oh, I think that's more of like, I don't know 266 00:13:31,320 --> 00:13:33,800 Speaker 2: if people listening can relate to this, but there's like 267 00:13:34,080 --> 00:13:36,320 Speaker 2: I don't know if it's Southern culture or Christian culture, 268 00:13:36,360 --> 00:13:38,760 Speaker 2: but you kind of grow up and it's like making 269 00:13:38,800 --> 00:13:42,840 Speaker 2: sure that you present a certain way, and like, I 270 00:13:42,880 --> 00:13:46,000 Speaker 2: think that I've always carried that. I think I'll always 271 00:13:46,080 --> 00:13:49,480 Speaker 2: carry that with me. I just think sometimes I like 272 00:13:51,280 --> 00:13:53,559 Speaker 2: when I see you post stuff and you're just kind 273 00:13:53,559 --> 00:13:56,080 Speaker 2: of like it's me and whatever, who cares. I love 274 00:13:56,400 --> 00:13:59,200 Speaker 2: Robbie's tongue out and I don't care what anyone thinks 275 00:13:59,200 --> 00:14:02,040 Speaker 2: about that. And if it's like even if people have 276 00:14:02,080 --> 00:14:07,200 Speaker 2: a reaction, my brain's like if I got a DM 277 00:14:07,320 --> 00:14:09,520 Speaker 2: or like someone messaged me about it, I think I'd 278 00:14:09,559 --> 00:14:10,679 Speaker 2: be like, oh I should take that. 279 00:14:10,679 --> 00:14:14,200 Speaker 3: Down, right, But is that not wanting to please people? 280 00:14:15,600 --> 00:14:16,440 Speaker 2: Yeah? 281 00:14:16,760 --> 00:14:18,120 Speaker 3: I mean I think so interesting. 282 00:14:19,240 --> 00:14:23,200 Speaker 2: Yeah, I think, well, I'm definitely a people pleaser still. Yeah, 283 00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:25,240 Speaker 2: I mean, it's not like it just goes away. I 284 00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:27,480 Speaker 2: think I can work on things and do things that 285 00:14:28,800 --> 00:14:31,200 Speaker 2: are for me, but I think like the core of 286 00:14:31,240 --> 00:14:33,160 Speaker 2: who I am as a people pleaser, I can always 287 00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:37,040 Speaker 2: improve on it. But yeah, I mean that's a couple 288 00:14:37,080 --> 00:14:41,360 Speaker 2: of years of therapy doesn't take that away. But one 289 00:14:41,400 --> 00:14:46,120 Speaker 2: of my favorite parts of uh Untamed is when Glennon 290 00:14:46,160 --> 00:14:49,160 Speaker 2: talks about meeting Abby for the first time. Yeah, because 291 00:14:49,200 --> 00:14:51,960 Speaker 2: she talks about how she's at this conference promoting her 292 00:14:51,960 --> 00:14:56,239 Speaker 2: book and she knows that her marriage is like in shambles, 293 00:14:56,240 --> 00:14:59,000 Speaker 2: but she's written this book about how they're rebuilding it 294 00:14:59,120 --> 00:15:03,600 Speaker 2: and you know, gonna power through with the love that 295 00:15:03,680 --> 00:15:08,320 Speaker 2: they have. And then Abby walks in and Glennon said 296 00:15:08,360 --> 00:15:11,480 Speaker 2: she just felt this feeling that there was like this 297 00:15:11,560 --> 00:15:13,360 Speaker 2: voice in her head that was just it was like, 298 00:15:13,440 --> 00:15:15,960 Speaker 2: there she is. And she was like I didn't know 299 00:15:15,960 --> 00:15:17,960 Speaker 2: where that was or like who said it or where 300 00:15:17,960 --> 00:15:19,920 Speaker 2: it came from, but it was just like, there she is. 301 00:15:20,840 --> 00:15:23,920 Speaker 2: And I think I had that moment, like I remember 302 00:15:23,960 --> 00:15:27,320 Speaker 2: when I saw Haley the first time. I didn't know 303 00:15:27,440 --> 00:15:31,400 Speaker 2: what it was. I just remember like this very distinct 304 00:15:31,520 --> 00:15:35,120 Speaker 2: feeling of like, oh, there she is, kind of there 305 00:15:35,160 --> 00:15:35,560 Speaker 2: she is. 306 00:15:35,920 --> 00:15:37,640 Speaker 3: And was that when you met her at the album 307 00:15:37,680 --> 00:15:38,160 Speaker 3: at her album? 308 00:15:38,200 --> 00:15:41,160 Speaker 2: Yeah? But I think in my mind I just was like, oh, 309 00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:43,480 Speaker 2: there she is. Like she's she's the star of the show. 310 00:15:43,520 --> 00:15:46,400 Speaker 2: It's her party, you know. But I think even though 311 00:15:46,440 --> 00:15:48,040 Speaker 2: I tried to set her up with my sister and 312 00:15:48,080 --> 00:15:50,320 Speaker 2: I was trying. I think there was I knew in 313 00:15:50,360 --> 00:15:52,440 Speaker 2: my gut at that moment. I think that there was 314 00:15:52,560 --> 00:15:55,720 Speaker 2: something really yeah, Like when I think about it now, 315 00:15:56,280 --> 00:15:58,440 Speaker 2: I think I go back to that feeling. And even 316 00:15:59,240 --> 00:16:01,600 Speaker 2: we left the and then we went back and I 317 00:16:01,600 --> 00:16:03,440 Speaker 2: remember she came over and danced with me, and I 318 00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:06,120 Speaker 2: was like, just happy to see her again. 319 00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:08,840 Speaker 3: I'm sorry you left the party and came back. 320 00:16:09,040 --> 00:16:13,000 Speaker 2: We left her album release party, went to Warwick and 321 00:16:13,040 --> 00:16:15,080 Speaker 2: then went back and Dean was with us, and they 322 00:16:15,080 --> 00:16:17,200 Speaker 2: wouldn't let Dean in the like section because it was 323 00:16:17,240 --> 00:16:19,920 Speaker 2: like these guys just like wanted girls there until we're like, 324 00:16:19,960 --> 00:16:22,240 Speaker 2: we're leaving. And then we went back to her party. 325 00:16:23,040 --> 00:16:23,480 Speaker 3: Got it. 326 00:16:23,640 --> 00:16:28,320 Speaker 2: Yeah, And then I told Lauren ha Regge that we 327 00:16:28,360 --> 00:16:30,160 Speaker 2: had a mutual friend who was a makeup artist. 328 00:16:31,080 --> 00:16:32,920 Speaker 3: You say her name? I think that was it? How 329 00:16:32,960 --> 00:16:33,440 Speaker 3: to gee? 330 00:16:34,400 --> 00:16:38,280 Speaker 2: Oh? How to Lauren had to gee from Fifth Harmony 331 00:16:38,360 --> 00:16:39,240 Speaker 2: formally fifth. 332 00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:40,240 Speaker 3: Harmony, yes, formally. 333 00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:43,040 Speaker 2: Where did I get her name? That's not no one's 334 00:16:43,080 --> 00:16:43,520 Speaker 2: ever said it. 335 00:16:43,520 --> 00:16:45,360 Speaker 3: Like, I've never heard anybody call her. 336 00:16:45,760 --> 00:16:47,520 Speaker 6: Her name has been pronounced every possible well. 337 00:16:49,480 --> 00:16:54,320 Speaker 2: Anyways, but yeah, I just I resonate so much. I 338 00:16:54,320 --> 00:16:57,880 Speaker 2: remember the first time I read Untamed, I was like, wow, 339 00:16:57,960 --> 00:17:01,120 Speaker 2: I love this. I think so many people relate to 340 00:17:01,160 --> 00:17:04,159 Speaker 2: this when they meet their person. Yeah, whether it's like 341 00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:08,119 Speaker 2: the VTS that you had and you felt like you 342 00:17:08,200 --> 00:17:10,080 Speaker 2: knew like he was going to be in your life, 343 00:17:10,160 --> 00:17:10,480 Speaker 2: you know. 344 00:17:10,600 --> 00:17:15,359 Speaker 3: Long term, Yeah, it is interesting. I remember walking in 345 00:17:15,400 --> 00:17:17,760 Speaker 3: a black liquor market and seeing him, like, and that 346 00:17:17,920 --> 00:17:20,200 Speaker 3: gonna sounds so cheesy, but like, I really he took 347 00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:21,159 Speaker 3: my breath away. 348 00:17:22,359 --> 00:17:23,080 Speaker 2: When you saw him. 349 00:17:23,240 --> 00:17:26,919 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, Like it was weird. And he's just like 350 00:17:26,920 --> 00:17:29,880 Speaker 3: sitting in a booth at like a bar. Did y'all 351 00:17:29,920 --> 00:17:31,960 Speaker 3: get up and he's wearing like a I think he 352 00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:34,479 Speaker 3: was wearing like a navy sweater or something. 353 00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:36,920 Speaker 2: I think you're right because I remember we did this 354 00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:38,400 Speaker 2: on the Newlywed game. 355 00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:39,199 Speaker 3: Oh did we? 356 00:17:39,440 --> 00:17:39,600 Speaker 4: Yeah? 357 00:17:39,680 --> 00:17:41,119 Speaker 2: You said he was wearing a navy swetter. 358 00:17:41,240 --> 00:17:41,920 Speaker 3: Yeah. 359 00:17:42,480 --> 00:17:44,600 Speaker 2: How long did y'all talk on hinge before y'all met? 360 00:17:44,800 --> 00:17:45,240 Speaker 3: A week? 361 00:17:45,600 --> 00:17:47,960 Speaker 2: Okay? Did y'all get up and like hug each other? 362 00:17:48,160 --> 00:17:48,400 Speaker 3: Yeah? 363 00:17:48,640 --> 00:17:50,159 Speaker 2: And like when you hugged, was it like, oh that 364 00:17:50,200 --> 00:17:54,480 Speaker 2: felt like home? Yeah? Yeah, I wasn't gonna stay home, 365 00:17:54,480 --> 00:18:01,840 Speaker 2: but we'll go with it. I love it. Should we 366 00:18:01,840 --> 00:18:04,280 Speaker 2: take a break let's take a break. We'll be right back. 367 00:18:22,320 --> 00:18:27,240 Speaker 2: All right, we are back. So Chapter eleven is called feel, 368 00:18:27,800 --> 00:18:30,760 Speaker 2: and there's a part in that where she says a 369 00:18:30,800 --> 00:18:34,000 Speaker 2: woman like at that meeting told her that you have 370 00:18:34,080 --> 00:18:37,240 Speaker 2: to feel everything to be fully human, even if it hurts. 371 00:18:37,880 --> 00:18:40,359 Speaker 2: And Glennon always thought that you were just supposed to 372 00:18:40,400 --> 00:18:44,239 Speaker 2: feel happiness and then you hide everything else. And I 373 00:18:44,400 --> 00:18:46,600 Speaker 2: was like, oh, I totally feel. I get that feeling, 374 00:18:48,200 --> 00:18:51,160 Speaker 2: like just be happy and like everything else, just sweep 375 00:18:51,200 --> 00:18:53,560 Speaker 2: it under the rug. You can ignore it, it'll go away. 376 00:18:53,760 --> 00:18:56,280 Speaker 3: I always get I don't know what the word is 377 00:18:56,320 --> 00:18:59,200 Speaker 3: for it, but like when you're upset about something or 378 00:18:59,280 --> 00:19:01,640 Speaker 3: you're sad about something, and then you're like, but there's 379 00:19:01,680 --> 00:19:03,679 Speaker 3: people who don't even have food and don't even have 380 00:19:03,720 --> 00:19:07,120 Speaker 3: a home, and like I always feel like my woes 381 00:19:07,240 --> 00:19:13,199 Speaker 3: are so like minimal or like not relevant or you know, 382 00:19:13,560 --> 00:19:15,680 Speaker 3: I don't know. I always feel like they're not justified 383 00:19:15,760 --> 00:19:18,600 Speaker 3: because I have food and I have shelter, and like 384 00:19:19,040 --> 00:19:21,000 Speaker 3: I have all those necessities that a lot of people 385 00:19:21,040 --> 00:19:23,520 Speaker 3: don't have, and so like I have that. I think 386 00:19:23,520 --> 00:19:25,320 Speaker 3: it is it's called something. I don't know what it is, 387 00:19:25,320 --> 00:19:29,000 Speaker 3: but like I always feel bad feeling bad about the 388 00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:32,480 Speaker 3: things I feel bad about, which is like not what 389 00:19:32,640 --> 00:19:36,240 Speaker 3: you should be able to just like feel how you feel. Well. 390 00:19:36,440 --> 00:19:40,879 Speaker 2: I think the reality is that, especially in everyone in 391 00:19:40,920 --> 00:19:44,320 Speaker 2: this room, there's always going to be someone who has 392 00:19:44,480 --> 00:19:47,520 Speaker 2: it worse than us. Like we're you know, I think 393 00:19:47,800 --> 00:19:52,000 Speaker 2: we could owe anything that we do. We can say, well, 394 00:19:53,040 --> 00:19:55,879 Speaker 2: I shouldn't be complaining about that because someone else is 395 00:19:55,920 --> 00:19:59,480 Speaker 2: it way worse. But I do think there's challenges in 396 00:19:59,520 --> 00:20:04,160 Speaker 2: life where they're valid, whether someone's always gonna have it worse, 397 00:20:04,200 --> 00:20:05,840 Speaker 2: you know, and you can still go through things. I 398 00:20:05,880 --> 00:20:09,000 Speaker 2: think having perspective, though, is really a blessing because I 399 00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:11,199 Speaker 2: don't think everyone. I think a lot of people complain 400 00:20:11,240 --> 00:20:14,679 Speaker 2: without even having awareness of like it could be so 401 00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:18,040 Speaker 2: much worse. So I think there's just finding a balance. 402 00:20:18,119 --> 00:20:20,119 Speaker 2: Jojo and I were talking about that how she posted 403 00:20:20,160 --> 00:20:22,280 Speaker 2: something she was having a really hard time when they 404 00:20:22,280 --> 00:20:24,080 Speaker 2: were building their house. It was like she was really 405 00:20:24,080 --> 00:20:27,040 Speaker 2: frustrated and she's like, I feel so bad complaining because 406 00:20:27,040 --> 00:20:30,720 Speaker 2: I have it so good, And I'm like, that's true, right, 407 00:20:30,800 --> 00:20:33,560 Speaker 2: and also like this is probably really this is frustrating 408 00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:36,919 Speaker 2: and stressful. Yeah, for anyone who who would be doing this, 409 00:20:37,080 --> 00:20:39,760 Speaker 2: you know right, And it's like, I think even just 410 00:20:39,840 --> 00:20:47,240 Speaker 2: having a heart that recognizes that is what means what's 411 00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:49,600 Speaker 2: important because you can always go back to like someone 412 00:20:49,640 --> 00:20:50,480 Speaker 2: has a worse. 413 00:20:50,720 --> 00:20:53,080 Speaker 3: And then in that same chapter she talks about like 414 00:20:53,080 --> 00:20:56,720 Speaker 3: taking pain and turning turning it into something positive, and 415 00:20:56,760 --> 00:20:58,920 Speaker 3: I feel like that's also like a really good perspective 416 00:20:58,960 --> 00:21:00,879 Speaker 3: to have too, because I feel like, sometimes, you know, 417 00:21:01,240 --> 00:21:03,320 Speaker 3: life is peaks and valleys, and you have to go 418 00:21:03,359 --> 00:21:05,120 Speaker 3: through the peaks to get to the valleys, and. 419 00:21:05,560 --> 00:21:07,320 Speaker 2: You have to go through the valleys to get to 420 00:21:07,359 --> 00:21:07,800 Speaker 2: the peaks. 421 00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:13,320 Speaker 3: Yes, yes, thank you. Yes, I reverse that you go 422 00:21:13,400 --> 00:21:15,880 Speaker 3: through the peaks to get to the valleys, sorry, valleys 423 00:21:15,920 --> 00:21:22,679 Speaker 3: to get to the peaks. But that, I feel like 424 00:21:23,760 --> 00:21:25,199 Speaker 3: was really interesting and I feel like that's what I 425 00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:27,159 Speaker 3: try to do with my dear future husband. Journal was 426 00:21:27,200 --> 00:21:29,000 Speaker 3: like whenever I was going on those horrible dates, I 427 00:21:29,040 --> 00:21:31,280 Speaker 3: would try and like reverse it into something positive and 428 00:21:31,280 --> 00:21:33,639 Speaker 3: like rite about like the person that was gonna be 429 00:21:33,840 --> 00:21:35,680 Speaker 3: my husband and how he was gonna treat me. And 430 00:21:35,680 --> 00:21:37,600 Speaker 3: I feel like that got me through a lot of 431 00:21:37,640 --> 00:21:42,919 Speaker 3: the dating like mishaps and train wrecks and keeping that 432 00:21:42,960 --> 00:21:44,520 Speaker 3: positive perspective, what. 433 00:21:44,440 --> 00:21:47,600 Speaker 2: Are you gonna do with the dear future husband Journal? Journal? 434 00:21:47,840 --> 00:21:48,959 Speaker 2: Is that yours forever? 435 00:21:49,880 --> 00:21:52,440 Speaker 3: Yeah? It's actually in my apartment right now, so it's 436 00:21:52,440 --> 00:21:53,320 Speaker 3: gonna have to make the move. 437 00:21:53,800 --> 00:21:56,639 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, Do you have a box of things 438 00:21:56,640 --> 00:22:01,400 Speaker 2: with all your uh like just Robbie stuff, Robbie box? Yes, okay. 439 00:22:01,560 --> 00:22:02,520 Speaker 3: Do you have a Haley box? 440 00:22:04,320 --> 00:22:07,320 Speaker 2: A small one? Really, I've recently started. 441 00:22:08,280 --> 00:22:12,359 Speaker 3: I'm a giant one checks out. Yeah, it's actually broken. 442 00:22:12,520 --> 00:22:14,000 Speaker 3: There's so much stuff in it. I need to get 443 00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:14,400 Speaker 3: a new one. 444 00:22:14,480 --> 00:22:15,200 Speaker 2: How big is it? 445 00:22:15,320 --> 00:22:17,439 Speaker 3: Pretty big? It's like a butterfly box. And it's like 446 00:22:18,400 --> 00:22:21,359 Speaker 3: I don't know how how like this this wide and 447 00:22:21,400 --> 00:22:24,360 Speaker 3: about like this tall? Pretty big? 448 00:22:24,960 --> 00:22:25,560 Speaker 2: What's in there? 449 00:22:26,400 --> 00:22:27,160 Speaker 3: What's not in there? 450 00:22:27,160 --> 00:22:28,440 Speaker 2: I could fill it up like that? 451 00:22:28,720 --> 00:22:35,560 Speaker 3: So much stuff, every card, every letter. Uh, there's like 452 00:22:35,600 --> 00:22:38,440 Speaker 3: a magazine, a Vegas magazine that put our picture in 453 00:22:38,480 --> 00:22:40,399 Speaker 3: it from like the dial opening, so I kept like 454 00:22:40,440 --> 00:22:44,879 Speaker 3: the magazine. There's like a couple Christmas ornaments. 455 00:22:45,440 --> 00:22:47,959 Speaker 1: Uh are you gonna pair this down? Are you? Are 456 00:22:47,960 --> 00:22:49,080 Speaker 1: you just going to keep adding to it? 457 00:22:49,600 --> 00:22:49,800 Speaker 2: You know? 458 00:22:50,160 --> 00:22:53,159 Speaker 3: It's interesting because I don't think I can keep adding 459 00:22:53,200 --> 00:22:53,440 Speaker 3: to it. 460 00:22:54,119 --> 00:22:56,600 Speaker 1: Uh could probably go. 461 00:22:56,720 --> 00:22:58,359 Speaker 3: And it's also the majority of it is from like 462 00:22:58,440 --> 00:23:01,840 Speaker 3: our early days. Oh there's some uh what are they 463 00:23:01,840 --> 00:23:04,760 Speaker 3: called menus from like the restaurants that we made in Covid, 464 00:23:05,040 --> 00:23:09,440 Speaker 3: No I made for Covid. Oh yeah, okay, Pisanzia's restaurant 465 00:23:10,119 --> 00:23:14,320 Speaker 3: like menu, and like the massage parlor menu. And then 466 00:23:14,320 --> 00:23:15,919 Speaker 3: oh and then I have the painting that he painted 467 00:23:15,960 --> 00:23:17,919 Speaker 3: of me, the very first painting he painted of me. 468 00:23:18,600 --> 00:23:25,000 Speaker 2: I feel like Donald Trump with braces. Yeah, it was 469 00:23:25,080 --> 00:23:27,120 Speaker 2: an artistic take on your face. 470 00:23:27,280 --> 00:23:28,200 Speaker 3: Yeah. 471 00:23:28,320 --> 00:23:30,200 Speaker 2: I feel like you could make a really cute scrap 472 00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:33,439 Speaker 2: book like the year, the years of like yell dating, 473 00:23:33,520 --> 00:23:37,240 Speaker 2: and just like glue those on into a book so. 474 00:23:37,160 --> 00:23:39,320 Speaker 3: That, yeah, like I have to do something with them. 475 00:23:39,320 --> 00:23:40,760 Speaker 3: And you're right, I should go through it because there's 476 00:23:40,760 --> 00:23:42,240 Speaker 3: a lot of like post its and stuff that I 477 00:23:42,280 --> 00:23:45,200 Speaker 3: don't necessarily need, like the post its, but I want 478 00:23:45,200 --> 00:23:46,919 Speaker 3: to keep all the like the early cards before we 479 00:23:46,920 --> 00:23:49,200 Speaker 3: said I love you, you know, where it's just like cheers, 480 00:23:49,720 --> 00:23:54,840 Speaker 3: like yeah, best and like your rock star, you know 481 00:23:54,880 --> 00:23:57,160 Speaker 3: what I mean, Like in the very early days before 482 00:23:57,200 --> 00:23:58,800 Speaker 3: you say I love you, Like I definitely want. 483 00:23:58,680 --> 00:24:01,720 Speaker 2: To keep all those so funny you're a rock star. 484 00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:03,680 Speaker 3: Yeah, Like I remember our first live show that we 485 00:24:03,720 --> 00:24:05,639 Speaker 3: did in San Francisco. He sent me a bottle of 486 00:24:05,680 --> 00:24:08,200 Speaker 3: champagne to the hotel and that was what when it 487 00:24:08,320 --> 00:24:09,480 Speaker 3: was at January. 488 00:24:10,520 --> 00:24:12,679 Speaker 6: Yeah, it was in January twenty twenty. 489 00:24:12,880 --> 00:24:15,600 Speaker 3: Yeah, so we've been dating for two months. And so 490 00:24:15,680 --> 00:24:18,560 Speaker 3: the card on it said like congrats you're such a 491 00:24:18,680 --> 00:24:23,720 Speaker 3: rock star, Cheers Robbie or something like that regards Robbie 492 00:24:24,960 --> 00:24:27,320 Speaker 3: Warnley Robbie. 493 00:24:27,880 --> 00:24:28,400 Speaker 2: Yeah. 494 00:24:28,560 --> 00:24:30,440 Speaker 3: Yeah, so I want to say, with all that stuff. 495 00:24:30,200 --> 00:24:31,640 Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like you could do some really cute 496 00:24:31,640 --> 00:24:32,119 Speaker 2: stuff with that. 497 00:24:32,359 --> 00:24:33,399 Speaker 3: Yeah. 498 00:24:33,640 --> 00:24:37,119 Speaker 2: I do you ever feel like, uh, sometimes Haley and 499 00:24:37,160 --> 00:24:39,320 Speaker 2: I will talk about high school days or like when 500 00:24:39,359 --> 00:24:42,920 Speaker 2: we were younger, and I sometimes I get not sad, 501 00:24:42,960 --> 00:24:46,200 Speaker 2: but sometimes I go like, oh, I feel like nostalgic wishing, 502 00:24:46,440 --> 00:24:47,960 Speaker 2: nostalgic wishing that. 503 00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:49,440 Speaker 3: We knew each other then. 504 00:24:49,720 --> 00:24:52,080 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, Like sometimes I wish I could just have 505 00:24:52,119 --> 00:24:54,160 Speaker 2: a day of like going back and like seeing each 506 00:24:54,200 --> 00:24:57,320 Speaker 2: other in high school with her like punk rock, weird 507 00:24:57,359 --> 00:25:01,359 Speaker 2: haircut and my teased hair, yeah, and like that, you know, 508 00:25:01,960 --> 00:25:04,680 Speaker 2: like who we were, just like what we have even 509 00:25:06,960 --> 00:25:09,480 Speaker 2: like what we have even connected, you know, right right, 510 00:25:09,560 --> 00:25:11,480 Speaker 2: Because sometimes she talks about her high school self and 511 00:25:11,480 --> 00:25:14,159 Speaker 2: I'm like, like I would have been. 512 00:25:15,240 --> 00:25:17,679 Speaker 6: I have so much gratitude that Allison did not know 513 00:25:17,760 --> 00:25:19,800 Speaker 6: me and I. She would never we've talked about this, 514 00:25:19,840 --> 00:25:22,399 Speaker 6: she would never spoken to me. Yeah, give me the 515 00:25:22,440 --> 00:25:22,880 Speaker 6: time of date. 516 00:25:22,960 --> 00:25:23,240 Speaker 1: Nothing. 517 00:25:24,240 --> 00:25:26,720 Speaker 6: So I'm so glad we can't do that. You met 518 00:25:27,400 --> 00:25:28,560 Speaker 6: for a reason, exactly. 519 00:25:29,280 --> 00:25:32,679 Speaker 2: I do believe that. Yeah, yeah, I do believe that. 520 00:25:32,760 --> 00:25:37,639 Speaker 2: You me. But the invisible string theory, which is that 521 00:25:37,800 --> 00:25:42,520 Speaker 2: actually people were in the same spot and then there 522 00:25:42,600 --> 00:25:44,840 Speaker 2: was always that string because you and Robbie, your invisible 523 00:25:44,880 --> 00:25:47,760 Speaker 2: string was like at the Maybourne, right in the courtyard. Yeah, 524 00:25:47,800 --> 00:25:49,840 Speaker 2: and I feel like that's that's true. 525 00:25:51,000 --> 00:25:53,280 Speaker 3: I know we were talking about engagement photos, like where 526 00:25:53,320 --> 00:25:55,320 Speaker 3: to do the engagement photos, and I was like, we 527 00:25:55,320 --> 00:25:57,159 Speaker 3: should do them at the Mayborn and he was like, 528 00:25:57,200 --> 00:25:59,679 Speaker 3: we can't have everything at the same place. I'm like, 529 00:25:59,680 --> 00:26:04,880 Speaker 3: but that's our invisible string. Everything's in this courtyard, like. 530 00:26:04,840 --> 00:26:08,199 Speaker 2: Every wedding spot where you got engaged. 531 00:26:08,520 --> 00:26:08,800 Speaker 1: I know. 532 00:26:08,920 --> 00:26:11,120 Speaker 3: I was thinking about that too. Actually, how many people 533 00:26:11,119 --> 00:26:11,879 Speaker 3: can fit on this. 534 00:26:12,960 --> 00:26:15,119 Speaker 2: How many can this hold? People can all rent the 535 00:26:15,200 --> 00:26:21,320 Speaker 2: rooms to watch them, the balconies exactly. Yeah, I was, yeah, 536 00:26:21,400 --> 00:26:25,040 Speaker 2: the invisible string. I don't know if Aley and I 537 00:26:25,080 --> 00:26:26,119 Speaker 2: had an invisible string. 538 00:26:26,200 --> 00:26:28,280 Speaker 3: Think about it. You guys, should be your homework. You 539 00:26:28,280 --> 00:26:30,400 Speaker 3: guys should think about it, because you probably. 540 00:26:30,000 --> 00:26:32,960 Speaker 1: Do because we found three I think for us, So 541 00:26:33,000 --> 00:26:34,639 Speaker 1: I bet you did. You just haven't come up with 542 00:26:34,680 --> 00:26:36,680 Speaker 1: it yet. I'm sure there was times you've crossed paths 543 00:26:37,240 --> 00:26:38,199 Speaker 1: without realizing it. 544 00:26:39,760 --> 00:26:41,200 Speaker 3: Think about it. That should be your homework for the 545 00:26:41,200 --> 00:26:41,760 Speaker 3: next podcast. 546 00:26:41,760 --> 00:26:42,960 Speaker 2: I mean too much a bachelor. 547 00:26:44,520 --> 00:26:48,440 Speaker 3: I mean, that's not nothing, nothing exactly, that's not nothing, not. 548 00:26:48,240 --> 00:26:51,040 Speaker 2: Nothing, Yeah, like an invisible. 549 00:26:51,720 --> 00:26:59,880 Speaker 3: Fling nice so proud, Like yeah, okay, So I think 550 00:26:59,880 --> 00:27:01,800 Speaker 3: that should be your homework that you and Haley should 551 00:27:01,920 --> 00:27:05,919 Speaker 3: really get to thinking and find the invisible string that 552 00:27:06,359 --> 00:27:07,840 Speaker 3: was tying you guys together before you met. 553 00:27:08,080 --> 00:27:10,440 Speaker 2: So that means like you were in a certain place 554 00:27:10,480 --> 00:27:13,119 Speaker 2: at the same time. What is that entail? 555 00:27:13,560 --> 00:27:17,600 Speaker 3: So like it's subjective, you know, it's interpretive, So whatever 556 00:27:17,680 --> 00:27:18,280 Speaker 3: that means to. 557 00:27:18,280 --> 00:27:22,000 Speaker 2: You, guys, So we just make up our own roles. 558 00:27:22,040 --> 00:27:24,800 Speaker 3: I mean, I think so. Actually, after we got engaged 559 00:27:24,840 --> 00:27:27,119 Speaker 3: at the Champagne, tost Raquel pulled Robbie and I aside 560 00:27:27,119 --> 00:27:30,080 Speaker 3: and she's like, I will never forget ten years ago 561 00:27:30,320 --> 00:27:32,400 Speaker 3: us sitting out in front of this fountain right here 562 00:27:32,440 --> 00:27:35,760 Speaker 3: that we're looking at, praying it was after I'd gone 563 00:27:35,760 --> 00:27:37,800 Speaker 3: through a really bad heartbreak and Raquel's like, we were 564 00:27:37,800 --> 00:27:40,400 Speaker 3: praying about her future husband and like, now you're here. 565 00:27:41,920 --> 00:27:44,320 Speaker 2: Well, there is a funny. The way I found out 566 00:27:44,320 --> 00:27:46,840 Speaker 2: that Haley watched The Bachelor is that she did a 567 00:27:46,880 --> 00:27:50,440 Speaker 2: full skit like hiking, and it was basically her recreating 568 00:27:50,880 --> 00:27:54,000 Speaker 2: one of my conversationshsible. 569 00:27:54,200 --> 00:27:55,399 Speaker 3: Yeah. Sure. 570 00:27:55,800 --> 00:27:58,160 Speaker 2: So she had told me she didn't watch my season. 571 00:27:58,320 --> 00:28:00,720 Speaker 2: She was like, oh no, she didn't watched. And then 572 00:28:00,920 --> 00:28:04,000 Speaker 2: I went back way deep and stalked her and I 573 00:28:04,119 --> 00:28:07,159 Speaker 2: found this video of her hiking and I'm trying to 574 00:28:07,200 --> 00:28:09,080 Speaker 2: find it right now, and she's like re enacting and 575 00:28:09,119 --> 00:28:12,480 Speaker 2: I'm like, this feels like you're kind of like making 576 00:28:12,480 --> 00:28:16,280 Speaker 2: fun of me, and then she came clean. 577 00:28:19,200 --> 00:28:22,639 Speaker 1: Yeah, I'll take that one, but it's not. But do 578 00:28:22,640 --> 00:28:25,080 Speaker 1: you see how she's being drawn to you subconsciously? 579 00:28:25,400 --> 00:28:27,800 Speaker 3: Yes, see, exactly right. 580 00:28:27,840 --> 00:28:29,399 Speaker 1: It's one thing if she had seen the show, that 581 00:28:30,119 --> 00:28:32,000 Speaker 1: that is something, because not everybody in the world watches 582 00:28:32,040 --> 00:28:34,080 Speaker 1: The Bachelor, so that would be something. But the fact 583 00:28:34,119 --> 00:28:36,320 Speaker 1: that she was so drawn to you in a conversation 584 00:28:36,440 --> 00:28:38,320 Speaker 1: you had that she felt the need to recreate it 585 00:28:38,360 --> 00:28:39,760 Speaker 1: on social media, I think that's a. 586 00:28:39,720 --> 00:28:42,239 Speaker 2: String even though she's kind of like making fun of me, right, 587 00:28:42,360 --> 00:28:42,840 Speaker 2: doesn't matter. 588 00:28:42,920 --> 00:28:44,000 Speaker 1: She was drawn. 589 00:28:44,280 --> 00:28:45,760 Speaker 3: What you do when you have a crush, You make 590 00:28:45,800 --> 00:28:47,480 Speaker 3: fun of me to her? 591 00:28:48,200 --> 00:28:50,320 Speaker 1: Popped like popped out you. 592 00:28:53,840 --> 00:28:56,600 Speaker 2: Whatever you all think, I don't know. 593 00:28:57,040 --> 00:29:01,760 Speaker 5: Isn't it just so pretty to see? All along there 594 00:29:02,120 --> 00:29:07,760 Speaker 5: was some invisible stream time you to me. 595 00:29:11,520 --> 00:29:12,600 Speaker 2: I'm gonna try and find it. 596 00:29:13,800 --> 00:29:17,240 Speaker 3: So for next week we're gonna do chapter fourteen. Let 597 00:29:17,280 --> 00:29:20,240 Speaker 3: it go burn, Let it burn all. 598 00:29:20,080 --> 00:29:23,400 Speaker 2: The way to goals, Let it burn to. 599 00:29:23,560 --> 00:29:26,560 Speaker 3: Goals, Let it burn to goals. 600 00:29:27,200 --> 00:29:30,320 Speaker 2: And with that said, we will be back on Monday. 601 00:29:30,680 --> 00:29:32,200 Speaker 3: And we love you very much, and we love. 602 00:29:32,120 --> 00:29:33,680 Speaker 2: You so much. Have a wonderful weekend.