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Speaker 1: Right now it is time for today's Strawberry Letter. If

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Speaker 1: you need some advice on relationships, on work, on sex,

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Speaker 1: on dating, on parenting, and more, please submit your Strawberry

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Speaker 1: letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com and click submit Strawberry Letter.

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Speaker 1: Write Steve tell him thank us absolutely correctly. You really

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Speaker 1: don't have many options because miss Abbey has paid. Oh

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Speaker 1: you mean, like dear Abbey that used to have the

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Speaker 1: column and the Wow, she paid, So it's just a

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Speaker 1: usually get the paper. Yeah all right, Well we could

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Speaker 1: be reading your letter live on the air like we're

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Speaker 1: gonna read this one today. Come on, nephew, buckle up,

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Speaker 1: hold on tight, we got it for you. Here it

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Speaker 1: is the straw Berry Letter. Subject he wants me but

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Speaker 1: not the children. Dear Stephen Shirley. I am a forty

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Speaker 1: nine year old female married to a forty nine year

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Speaker 1: old man. We have five children and five grandchildren. Here

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Speaker 1: is the problem my current husband, he says, I have

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Speaker 1: five children and five grandchildren. Okay, oh, okay, here is

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Speaker 1: the problem. My current husband is not the father of

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Speaker 1: my children. I married this man when my children were young,

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Speaker 1: so he's been in their lives for a very long time.

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Speaker 1: My youngest son just graduated from high school and we'll

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Speaker 1: be going away for college. So now my husband thinks

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Speaker 1: that we are done raising children and from now on

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Speaker 1: it will be just the two of us. He has

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Speaker 1: said that that we don't have to worry about the

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Speaker 1: kids anymore because they are all grown and have their

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Speaker 1: own lives. So am I not supposed to So am

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Speaker 1: I not supposed to be involved with my children since

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Speaker 1: they are no longer living at home. My children range

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Speaker 1: from ages thirty two to eighteen years old, and all

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Speaker 1: five of them live in different states. I want to

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Speaker 1: see them and my grandkids as often as I can.

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Speaker 1: In fact, I'd like to move closer to them. My

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Speaker 1: husband does not want anything to do with them period.

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Speaker 1: He doesn't want to visit them, and he doesn't want

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Speaker 1: them to visit us. He said that they don't need

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Speaker 1: to come for the holidays. What the hell? He really

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Speaker 1: thinks that because they are adults, I am supposed to

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Speaker 1: forget that they exist. I understand that these are our

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Speaker 1: golden years and we should be enjoying quality time together

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Speaker 1: and traveling the world, but our travels should also include

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Speaker 1: trips to see my children. If he's really serious, I

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Speaker 1: may have to spend my golden years alone. Stephen Shirley,

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Speaker 1: can you please help me? Well, your letters started off nicely,

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Speaker 1: so I'll put it like this. Your husband, I'm sure,

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Speaker 1: feels like he's done his job and it's over. These

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Speaker 1: were not his kids. He raised them anyway. He's been

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Speaker 1: in their lives since they were really young, so he's

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Speaker 1: done and not being their biological debt. Like I said,

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Speaker 1: the ties are cut. He has no connection really to them.

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Speaker 1: It seems he cut them off and his concentration is

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Speaker 1: now on you and you guys the future together. He

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Speaker 1: wants to live, he wants to live his life, you know,

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Speaker 1: and do all of those things. But now I think

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Speaker 1: that he's being very unrealistic when he says the children

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Speaker 1: he doesn't want the kids to come and see you,

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Speaker 1: or he doesn't want you to go see the kids.

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Speaker 1: How is that? I mean, really, that's a bit unrealistic,

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Speaker 1: especially if it makes you happy to see your kids.

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Speaker 1: You're his wife. He should want to see you happy

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Speaker 1: and do those things that make you happy. I mean,

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Speaker 1: it's very unrealistic to say that. He really thinks that

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Speaker 1: because they're adults, you're supposed to forget that they exist. No,

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Speaker 1: that's not the issue. And he knows that's not the issue.

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Speaker 1: They are grown and they are living their own lives.

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Speaker 1: That part is definitely true. But you guys got to

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Speaker 1: come to some kind of compromise in terms of when

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Speaker 1: you see the kids and when you go see the kids.

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Speaker 1: Even if you just go by yourself, you have to

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Speaker 1: see your kids. These are your kids, Steve, you're a

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Speaker 1: parent now he wants me, but not to children. Okay,

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Speaker 1: that I can relate to. I don't want mine either, though, God,

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Speaker 1: and on any day between the seven of them, you

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Speaker 1: can come get folk just like that. But we are parents.

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Speaker 1: You're forty nine, Your mand's forty nine. You got five

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Speaker 1: children and five grandkids. He's not the father of the kids.

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Speaker 1: Your youngest son just graduated high school going away to college.

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Speaker 1: So now your husband thinks that we've done raising children

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Speaker 1: and from now on there to just be the two

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Speaker 1: of us. He had says that we don't have to

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Speaker 1: worry about the kids no more because they all grown

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Speaker 1: and have their own lives. Okay, are you kidding me?

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Speaker 1: You really think that's how it goes? Do you know

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Speaker 1: that you are a parent for life? You may not

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Speaker 1: be a husband or a wife for life, but once

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Speaker 1: you become a parent, you're a parent for life. Now,

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Speaker 1: there are some good ones out there and there are

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Speaker 1: some bad ones out there. I got it, you, sir,

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Speaker 1: are about to turn into a bad one because you

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Speaker 1: don't get it. You are in your goal, in you

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Speaker 1: and you said that later in the letter. Your kids

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Speaker 1: are from thirty two to eighteen. All of them live

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Speaker 1: in different states, and you want to see your kids

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Speaker 1: and your grandkids. Matter of fact, you want to move

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Speaker 1: closer to him. Your husband don't want nothing to do

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Speaker 1: with them, period. He doesn't want to visit them, and

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Speaker 1: he doesn't want them to visit us. He says, they

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Speaker 1: don't need to come for the holiday. That's what the

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Speaker 1: lady type don't need to come for the holidays. What

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Speaker 1: the hell? What the hell is right? Come home? Man?

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Speaker 1: Are you for real? Bro? You're gonna just act like

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Speaker 1: you never met these people. He gotta come home. He's

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Speaker 1: not ready to live on his own. And I got that.

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Speaker 1: The kids range from thirty two to eighteen. Man, do

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Speaker 1: you know how much advice they need? So how much

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Speaker 1: help they need financial support they need? Come home, man,

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Speaker 1: that ain't how this work? Man? You crazy? Him? Want

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Speaker 1: him to vid. He don't want him to come for

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Speaker 1: the holiday. What the hell he thinks that, because they

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Speaker 1: are adults, I'm supposed to forget the day exist. That's

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Speaker 1: the craziest part of them. You gotta be nuts. It

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Speaker 1: doesn't work that way. Come on, man, I understand that

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Speaker 1: these are our golden years. You ain't be forty nine

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Speaker 1: hell goldie. But if that's how you want to look

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Speaker 1: at it, okay, cool, and that we should be enjoying

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Speaker 1: quality time together and traveling the world. Plans should also

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Speaker 1: include trips to see my children. If he's really serious,

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Speaker 1: I may help spend my golden years a longer. We

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Speaker 1: will be back kid, what you say, Steve? All right?

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Speaker 1: We will be back at twenty three after with part

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Speaker 1: two of Steve's response, too, he wants me but not

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Speaker 1: the children? Right after this. You're listening, all right, Steve.

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Speaker 1: Here we are part two of today's Strawberry Letters. The

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Speaker 1: subject he wants me but not the children. Wow. Well,

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Speaker 1: the youngest one and graduated. The boy's five kids, none

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Speaker 1: of them he is now he going wile they graduated,

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Speaker 1: They gone. We threw with him, they out. He's saying, no,

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Speaker 1: they have their own lives. They're adults. They should be

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Speaker 1: able to make it on their own. I want to

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Speaker 1: see my grandkids as offer I can. It's what the

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Speaker 1: woman says. In fact, I want to move closer to him.

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Speaker 1: My husband doesn't want anything to do with them, period.

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Speaker 1: He don't want to visit them. He don't want them

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Speaker 1: to visit us. He said they don't need to come

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Speaker 1: for the holiday to him, and ladies said what to him? No,

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Speaker 1: we don't come for the holidays. What is Christmas about? Exactly?

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Speaker 1: He really thinks that because they're adults, I'm supposed to

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Speaker 1: forget they exist. I understand that these are golden years

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Speaker 1: and we should be enjoying quality time together and traveling

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Speaker 1: the world. But I traveled playing to be called trips

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Speaker 1: to see my children. He's really serious. I may have

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Speaker 1: spent my golden years along Steve Sheley. Can you please

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Speaker 1: help me? He wants to check out. In essence, he

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Speaker 1: wants to check out. He wants to say that I've

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Speaker 1: done my duty. I raised these kids to the best

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Speaker 1: of my ability. I've contributed, and now they're gone. That's it.

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Speaker 1: I'm chilling. I wish that was the case. But honey,

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Speaker 1: why don't you want to see the kids. I mean,

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Speaker 1: did something happen. We've already seen the kids. Well, yeah,

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Speaker 1: you've seen them since they were young. I mean, and

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Speaker 1: they live their own lives now. I saw all I

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Speaker 1: needed to see when they was here. I'm tired. I've

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Speaker 1: been working, paying bill, putting kid to college, and covering

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Speaker 1: up dream. I bought that Born than Carbon machine, all

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Speaker 1: that old and honey we appreciated so much. But these

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Speaker 1: are my kids. I have to see them on the holidays.

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Speaker 1: That's what the holidays of four family holidays. Yes, family

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Speaker 1: like Thanksgiving, like Christmas, like Thanksgiving like Christmas. We ain't

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Speaker 1: going down now. I've already made arrangements for them to

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Speaker 1: come here. They here here to the house. I'm you know,

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Speaker 1: getting the big Christmas tree and everything. They're just got

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Speaker 1: ready to We just got rid of the damn boy.

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Speaker 1: And what the hell you're inviting them back for? They

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Speaker 1: don't think we won't them. Well, he has to have

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Speaker 1: somewhere to go when he's out of school for Christmas

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Speaker 1: break school, don't He ain't downed that one of them

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Speaker 1: in the National school, but he I want him to

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Speaker 1: come home. I missed them. I carried them for nine months.

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Speaker 1: This is my blood. See, you raised and the kids

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Speaker 1: to be none but chumps. That wrong right here. He's

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Speaker 1: a great kid. He's in college now, great kidself gold

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Speaker 1: make it. You know he ain't gonna get a job. Wow,

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Speaker 1: I don't understand. I mean, you were so good with

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Speaker 1: them when they were young and helping me raise them.

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Speaker 1: Now all of a sudden, it's like, who are they are?

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Speaker 1: I don't know you counting the day? What do you

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Speaker 1: mean you were counting the day till they got out

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Speaker 1: this house? But you were so good. They call you daddy.

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Speaker 1: You're not even there, fling that she never gonna call

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Speaker 1: me daddy called They can't find that. Well, you know,

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Speaker 1: I just wanted to let you know that I really

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Speaker 1: appreciate that you were there for me, there for my kids.

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Speaker 1: I know you do, Baby, I appreciate. Now I want

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Speaker 1: you to be here for me. Well, I am here

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Speaker 1: for you, But I'm also all the time all that

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Speaker 1: the mom days over with. No, the mom days are

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Speaker 1: never over with. They is over They gone. No, they're

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Speaker 1: not they no, they're not called you keeping fighting them back,

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Speaker 1: leaving more. They girl, these are my kids and this

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Speaker 1: is my house too. They're coming home for the holidays. Okay,

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Speaker 1: I put my foot down getting hit. We're fighting them

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Speaker 1: back over for the holiday. It's just you don't be

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Speaker 1: in here. We ain't got no where. We ain't gonna

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Speaker 1: be able put a tree up. We're gonna put a

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Speaker 1: tree up right over there. But when are you you

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Speaker 1: put a tree up over there? And then all these

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Speaker 1: people coming to the house, we're gonna be decorated. It's

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Speaker 1: just five kids and five grandkids and there's ten people.

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Speaker 1: Look at the little room. Well, then maybe we need

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Speaker 1: a bigger house because I'm not getting rid of my kids.

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Speaker 1: Bigger house. Yes, it's a bigger house. Girl, the girl,

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Speaker 1: we can finally go out all the people out of here.

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Speaker 1: In here, we need a bigger house. It's just for

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Speaker 1: a few days during the holiday's honey, you don't want

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Speaker 1: to sing Christmas carols? Yeah? No, matter of fact, I won't.

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Speaker 1: Just how stage saying side so they they're already outgrow it.

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Speaker 1: And who's gonna we need a bigger house? Who's gonna

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Speaker 1: help me cook? That's what we love doing, that, me

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Speaker 1: and the girls cooking together, well, preparing Christmas dinner and

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Speaker 1: Thanksgiving dinner. Huh, you ain't helping cool. We're gonna damn Joe,

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Speaker 1: the woman in that you donna try to slide in

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Speaker 1: and you can cook. We're gonna end damn woman in

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Speaker 1: the letter can cut even the letter, try to slide in?

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Speaker 1: And who's gonna help you cook? That? We've been trying

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Speaker 1: to find out, Sit two thousand. I don't know what

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Speaker 1: the new Mexican man what his name? His name is?

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Speaker 1: Nest to black dude? S are you Steve? Are you

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Speaker 1: still the man in the letter? Make up your mind?

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Speaker 1: I'm not man in the letter, but what you try

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Speaker 1: to slide in with a cooking compliment by yourself? And

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Speaker 1: I ain't gonna let you do it? The surely you

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Speaker 1: can't cook? Who's gonna help me cook? Anybody? I'm speaking

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Speaker 1: as the woman in the letter. All Right, we gotta go,

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Speaker 1: We gotta get out of here. Email us or instagram

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Speaker 1: us your thoughts on today's Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey

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Speaker 1: f Ammer, you can go to my girls. Surely you're

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Speaker 1: listening Stave Harday Morning showm