1 00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:03,880 Speaker 1: And the path really to success, in my opinion, is 2 00:00:03,920 --> 00:00:06,720 Speaker 1: to be able to align those Okay, what am I 3 00:00:06,880 --> 00:00:11,520 Speaker 1: feeling and then to reflect intellectually. Is that the right 4 00:00:11,560 --> 00:00:21,120 Speaker 1: thing if I'm going to Hey everyone, welcome back to 5 00:00:21,239 --> 00:00:24,240 Speaker 1: On Purpose, the number one health podcast in the world. 6 00:00:24,280 --> 00:00:26,200 Speaker 1: Thanks to each and every single one of you that 7 00:00:26,320 --> 00:00:29,760 Speaker 1: come back every week to listen, learn, and grow. Now. 8 00:00:29,760 --> 00:00:33,640 Speaker 1: I know you're here because you love learning about new insights, ideas, 9 00:00:34,040 --> 00:00:37,239 Speaker 1: principles that can transform your life, things that you can 10 00:00:37,240 --> 00:00:40,640 Speaker 1: put into practice, Ideas that you can actually take into 11 00:00:40,640 --> 00:00:44,520 Speaker 1: your life, apply them and see changes in transformation happen. 12 00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:47,559 Speaker 1: Today's guest is one of the few guests who's been 13 00:00:47,600 --> 00:00:50,040 Speaker 1: on not just once, not just twice, but a third time. 14 00:00:50,080 --> 00:00:52,559 Speaker 1: I don't think there's more than three guests out of 15 00:00:52,600 --> 00:00:55,000 Speaker 1: our entire library that have been on as many times 16 00:00:55,240 --> 00:00:57,680 Speaker 1: as today's guest, and I couldn't be more excited to 17 00:00:57,720 --> 00:00:59,279 Speaker 1: talk to him. The first time I spoke to him. 18 00:00:59,440 --> 00:01:02,640 Speaker 1: We're speaking about his book Principles, an incredible book. If 19 00:01:02,680 --> 00:01:04,760 Speaker 1: you haven't read it, highly recommend that you get it. 20 00:01:05,400 --> 00:01:07,160 Speaker 1: Next time we spoke, we spoke about a second book, 21 00:01:07,280 --> 00:01:09,960 Speaker 1: Changing World Order, and the third one this interview we're 22 00:01:09,959 --> 00:01:13,240 Speaker 1: talking about his new journal called My Principles. I've been 23 00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:15,360 Speaker 1: flicking through this over the past few days since I've 24 00:01:15,360 --> 00:01:18,560 Speaker 1: had it, and it has given me so much self 25 00:01:18,560 --> 00:01:21,920 Speaker 1: awareness that I already believe I have, but the opportunity 26 00:01:21,959 --> 00:01:24,720 Speaker 1: to reflect on it again and again consistently makes a 27 00:01:24,800 --> 00:01:26,520 Speaker 1: huge difference. Of course, I'm talking about the one and 28 00:01:26,600 --> 00:01:29,440 Speaker 1: only Ray Daria. Ray. Thank you for being here, Thank 29 00:01:29,480 --> 00:01:33,120 Speaker 1: you for doing this pleasure all of these times. I 30 00:01:33,200 --> 00:01:34,920 Speaker 1: love it. Yeah, it's a joy to see you. After 31 00:01:35,000 --> 00:01:37,760 Speaker 1: three years. We did one digital into it, maybe even two. 32 00:01:37,800 --> 00:01:39,880 Speaker 1: I think we did in the middle of the pandemic. 33 00:01:39,920 --> 00:01:42,320 Speaker 1: Maybe this is your fourth time. Actually, maybe I'm completely wrong, 34 00:01:42,360 --> 00:01:44,760 Speaker 1: but either way, I'm just always grateful to be in 35 00:01:44,800 --> 00:01:46,839 Speaker 1: your presence. I learned so much from you. I remember. 36 00:01:46,880 --> 00:01:48,960 Speaker 1: I want to share this because the first time I 37 00:01:49,000 --> 00:01:52,840 Speaker 1: met you, i'd heard so much about you, and you know, 38 00:01:52,960 --> 00:01:56,560 Speaker 1: your reputation precedes you and you have this, you know, 39 00:01:56,680 --> 00:02:00,160 Speaker 1: huge brand beyond just I'm not talking about brand in 40 00:02:00,240 --> 00:02:02,400 Speaker 1: terms of social media. I think in the business world, 41 00:02:02,920 --> 00:02:04,200 Speaker 1: and I had no idea what you were going to 42 00:02:04,280 --> 00:02:05,960 Speaker 1: be like, and I was I was nervous. I was. 43 00:02:06,640 --> 00:02:08,560 Speaker 1: It was three years ago, but that was early in 44 00:02:08,600 --> 00:02:12,160 Speaker 1: my career of doing this, and I was thinking to myself, 45 00:02:12,160 --> 00:02:13,280 Speaker 1: I was like, what's he going to be like? I 46 00:02:13,360 --> 00:02:15,760 Speaker 1: have no idea, like, you know, how should I behave 47 00:02:15,800 --> 00:02:17,920 Speaker 1: around it? And then you came in and you were 48 00:02:17,960 --> 00:02:21,600 Speaker 1: the most charming, disarming individual that i'd met. You're so 49 00:02:21,680 --> 00:02:23,760 Speaker 1: comfortable to be around. I was telling my whole team that, 50 00:02:23,800 --> 00:02:26,359 Speaker 1: I was like you you forget everything in your presence. 51 00:02:26,400 --> 00:02:30,960 Speaker 1: You make everyone feel very comfortable, very respected, very very wanted, 52 00:02:30,960 --> 00:02:33,200 Speaker 1: and very valued. And I think that's a huge gift. 53 00:02:33,200 --> 00:02:35,320 Speaker 1: So I wanted to say that because I probably have 54 00:02:35,360 --> 00:02:37,200 Speaker 1: not told you that, but yes, two years ago, its 55 00:02:37,280 --> 00:02:41,239 Speaker 1: very nervous. Well, there are times where there's u and 56 00:02:41,400 --> 00:02:44,280 Speaker 1: a spree of core that there are similar values that 57 00:02:44,520 --> 00:02:47,359 Speaker 1: you're going after similar things, and you can also play 58 00:02:47,520 --> 00:02:50,200 Speaker 1: jazz together. It's almost like when we're right now, it's 59 00:02:50,240 --> 00:02:52,680 Speaker 1: almost like we can be playing together. Yeah, I love 60 00:02:52,760 --> 00:02:56,160 Speaker 1: and we have that, so I have the same respect 61 00:02:56,200 --> 00:02:58,400 Speaker 1: and we could, so let's go play some jazz. Yeah, 62 00:02:58,480 --> 00:02:59,640 Speaker 1: let's do it. I was going to ask you, do 63 00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:03,360 Speaker 1: you the first time you ever felt fear meeting someone, 64 00:03:03,480 --> 00:03:06,359 Speaker 1: because I know you talk a lot about the truth 65 00:03:06,440 --> 00:03:09,160 Speaker 1: and fearlessness, but Yeah, was there ever a time when 66 00:03:09,200 --> 00:03:12,840 Speaker 1: you remember meeting a mentor a business person, a person 67 00:03:12,880 --> 00:03:14,880 Speaker 1: in your world where you felt a sense of fear 68 00:03:14,919 --> 00:03:18,520 Speaker 1: and how you dealt with that. My reactions tend to 69 00:03:18,560 --> 00:03:22,920 Speaker 1: be more alike excitement. There's a nervous excitement. Yes, nervous 70 00:03:22,919 --> 00:03:25,560 Speaker 1: excitement is probably the right way. Yeah, yes, because I'm 71 00:03:25,639 --> 00:03:29,760 Speaker 1: walking in and I'm thinking okay, wow, okay. But it's 72 00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:33,120 Speaker 1: a little bit like life, you know, the question at 73 00:03:33,120 --> 00:03:39,320 Speaker 1: certain moments is that excitement For some people? It's excitement. 74 00:03:39,400 --> 00:03:42,520 Speaker 1: For some people it's fear. And it's not just at 75 00:03:42,560 --> 00:03:46,600 Speaker 1: those moments of meeting somebody like that. It happens a 76 00:03:46,640 --> 00:03:50,280 Speaker 1: lot in life, you know. It's almost ambiguity, a taste 77 00:03:50,280 --> 00:03:54,160 Speaker 1: for adventure. I think I'm more of the taste for adventure, 78 00:03:54,520 --> 00:03:58,400 Speaker 1: So I will nervously go in, maybe with some palpitations 79 00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:02,440 Speaker 1: and feeling more excitement at it, Like I feel excited 80 00:04:02,480 --> 00:04:05,600 Speaker 1: about this. I think that's a great refinement. I would 81 00:04:05,600 --> 00:04:08,320 Speaker 1: say I feel the same way. It's a nervous excitement. 82 00:04:09,320 --> 00:04:11,400 Speaker 1: That's something special you have. You have this ability to 83 00:04:11,440 --> 00:04:15,080 Speaker 1: be really clear about words, read really clear about emotions 84 00:04:15,080 --> 00:04:16,720 Speaker 1: when you read your work, when you're in your work, 85 00:04:17,320 --> 00:04:21,240 Speaker 1: was clarity something that you always found easy or how 86 00:04:21,279 --> 00:04:24,080 Speaker 1: did you develop that ability to be so clear about 87 00:04:24,080 --> 00:04:25,960 Speaker 1: the language you use even just what you did now 88 00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:27,960 Speaker 1: it was like I used a word and actually I 89 00:04:27,960 --> 00:04:30,280 Speaker 1: feel this, And I'm like, yeah, actually I feel that too, 90 00:04:30,360 --> 00:04:33,600 Speaker 1: So tell me where that refinement came. I honestly don't know. 91 00:04:34,360 --> 00:04:38,120 Speaker 1: I have a lousy rope memory. That means, I mean 92 00:04:38,279 --> 00:04:41,080 Speaker 1: really rope memory means like, if it doesn't have a 93 00:04:41,120 --> 00:04:43,159 Speaker 1: reason for being what it is, like a phone number 94 00:04:43,240 --> 00:04:45,880 Speaker 1: or name or anything like that, like I'm terrible, and 95 00:04:45,960 --> 00:04:49,400 Speaker 1: if it and in school terrible, you know, memorize this man. 96 00:04:49,760 --> 00:04:53,240 Speaker 1: But if it's within a context and there's a story 97 00:04:53,360 --> 00:04:56,680 Speaker 1: orhere there's something, I have a superb memory of how 98 00:04:56,680 --> 00:04:59,600 Speaker 1: that transpires. Well, I think I was born that way, 99 00:05:00,040 --> 00:05:02,960 Speaker 1: and so by being born that way, I'm wondering does 100 00:05:03,040 --> 00:05:08,279 Speaker 1: that enter into this particular question. And then I think 101 00:05:08,360 --> 00:05:11,480 Speaker 1: my job requires me to be thinking in terms of 102 00:05:11,680 --> 00:05:15,480 Speaker 1: fact sort of clarity. But I really don't know. Yeah, yeah, no, 103 00:05:15,560 --> 00:05:17,920 Speaker 1: I mean it's fascinating for us to at least learn 104 00:05:17,920 --> 00:05:20,039 Speaker 1: that and perceive that in you. But it seems like 105 00:05:20,040 --> 00:05:22,760 Speaker 1: you've done a lot of reverse engineering as well to 106 00:05:22,960 --> 00:05:26,719 Speaker 1: create the principles in the first place, like observing success, 107 00:05:26,800 --> 00:05:30,240 Speaker 1: observing failure, observing wins. It seems like there's been no 108 00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:32,400 Speaker 1: you're putting your finger on it. You know. What I 109 00:05:32,440 --> 00:05:34,719 Speaker 1: did is I got into habit at a very early 110 00:05:34,800 --> 00:05:39,320 Speaker 1: age that whenever I would make a decision, I would 111 00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:43,800 Speaker 1: pause and reflect, particularly if it was a painful decision 112 00:05:44,200 --> 00:05:47,120 Speaker 1: or a painful moment, I pause and reflect. I have 113 00:05:47,120 --> 00:05:52,160 Speaker 1: a principal pain plus reflection equals progress. And then I 114 00:05:52,200 --> 00:05:55,760 Speaker 1: would write down my reflections. That's why the journal. I 115 00:05:55,800 --> 00:05:58,520 Speaker 1: would literally use a journal. This journal, by the way, 116 00:05:58,600 --> 00:06:02,920 Speaker 1: is connected to an app that facilitates that. But and 117 00:06:02,960 --> 00:06:05,440 Speaker 1: that's what I want to pass along. And I think 118 00:06:05,440 --> 00:06:09,360 Speaker 1: that that helped my clarity because at that moment of 119 00:06:09,400 --> 00:06:13,320 Speaker 1: stepping back, when there is greater clarity, when there's calmness 120 00:06:13,360 --> 00:06:17,000 Speaker 1: after the storm maybe or the excitement of the adventure, 121 00:06:17,120 --> 00:06:21,760 Speaker 1: whatever it is, that you're reflecting on that reflection, writing 122 00:06:21,760 --> 00:06:25,360 Speaker 1: it down and thinking about it and thinking, am I clear? 123 00:06:25,680 --> 00:06:29,839 Speaker 1: I think helps my I know helps my clarity a lot. Wow. 124 00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:34,200 Speaker 1: I remember a few years ago when you went to something, 125 00:06:34,440 --> 00:06:38,400 Speaker 1: you know, extremely tragic. I emailed you just just a 126 00:06:38,520 --> 00:06:43,080 Speaker 1: note of love and support, and you quoted that back 127 00:06:43,080 --> 00:06:45,440 Speaker 1: to me then in an email, and I was just 128 00:06:45,440 --> 00:06:48,000 Speaker 1: blown away by that, because I have quoted pain plus 129 00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:51,480 Speaker 1: reflection equals progress by you a million times. I think 130 00:06:51,480 --> 00:06:54,039 Speaker 1: I repeat that in every keynote I give because I 131 00:06:54,040 --> 00:06:58,240 Speaker 1: think it's such a powerful it's such a powerful principle 132 00:06:58,279 --> 00:07:02,279 Speaker 1: because as soon as you remove the word reflection, progress 133 00:07:02,320 --> 00:07:05,360 Speaker 1: disappears and all you're left with is pain. And when 134 00:07:05,400 --> 00:07:07,960 Speaker 1: you repeated that back to me in that moment, I thought, Wow, 135 00:07:08,040 --> 00:07:11,600 Speaker 1: Like to remember that principle in this moment requires so 136 00:07:11,680 --> 00:07:15,560 Speaker 1: much just so much depth. And I was truly blown 137 00:07:15,600 --> 00:07:17,720 Speaker 1: away by that because it's one thing writing it, and 138 00:07:17,760 --> 00:07:20,480 Speaker 1: it's another thing living in the incident that you're referring 139 00:07:20,520 --> 00:07:23,000 Speaker 1: to is the worst thing that could ever have happened 140 00:07:23,040 --> 00:07:26,840 Speaker 1: to me. I would have rather died than have it happened. 141 00:07:26,920 --> 00:07:29,280 Speaker 1: Was the loss of my son. Yeah, but you know, 142 00:07:29,440 --> 00:07:35,320 Speaker 1: meditation helps a lot, right, So meditation and reflection, because 143 00:07:35,880 --> 00:07:40,640 Speaker 1: whenever there's pain, there's a reality. It tells you something 144 00:07:40,680 --> 00:07:44,800 Speaker 1: about reality, and it tells you something about how to 145 00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:50,120 Speaker 1: deal with reality. The reflections. Yeah, life is life. It 146 00:07:50,160 --> 00:07:54,600 Speaker 1: comes at you. It is reality. You can't change it, Okay, 147 00:07:54,760 --> 00:07:58,080 Speaker 1: you can influence it. Based on your reactions. But you 148 00:07:58,160 --> 00:08:00,680 Speaker 1: have to deal with it and have to deal with 149 00:08:00,720 --> 00:08:04,960 Speaker 1: it in a calm way. So meditation helps you be calm. 150 00:08:05,240 --> 00:08:08,160 Speaker 1: It helps you see the clarity and then move beyond 151 00:08:08,240 --> 00:08:10,520 Speaker 1: that to deal with the circumstance as well. I think, 152 00:08:10,680 --> 00:08:12,400 Speaker 1: how did you come to accept that? I think a 153 00:08:12,400 --> 00:08:16,600 Speaker 1: lot of people struggle with accepting that life's going to 154 00:08:16,640 --> 00:08:17,960 Speaker 1: come at you, it's going to do what it wants. 155 00:08:17,960 --> 00:08:19,760 Speaker 1: I think we have a desire for control. And when 156 00:08:19,800 --> 00:08:22,880 Speaker 1: someone looks at someone as successful as you, they would 157 00:08:23,440 --> 00:08:26,480 Speaker 1: infer that, oh, Ray probably is good at controlling things. 158 00:08:26,520 --> 00:08:29,560 Speaker 1: He's probably good at making things happen. What is that 159 00:08:29,640 --> 00:08:32,120 Speaker 1: balance or what have you discovered about the idea of 160 00:08:32,160 --> 00:08:35,520 Speaker 1: like control and acceptance? Like where where do you live 161 00:08:35,520 --> 00:08:37,920 Speaker 1: in between that space? Well? I think you know keeps 162 00:08:37,960 --> 00:08:42,400 Speaker 1: coming back the serenity prayer. God, give me the serenity 163 00:08:42,440 --> 00:08:45,920 Speaker 1: to accept that which I can't control, and give me 164 00:08:46,000 --> 00:08:49,080 Speaker 1: the power to control that which I can, and the 165 00:08:49,080 --> 00:08:51,240 Speaker 1: wisdom to tell the difference. And I think that that 166 00:08:51,320 --> 00:08:54,160 Speaker 1: really guides it. You know, what is your best and 167 00:08:54,200 --> 00:09:00,720 Speaker 1: so it is the combination of acceptance but also the 168 00:09:00,920 --> 00:09:05,320 Speaker 1: desire to influence, right, and so yeah, and if you're 169 00:09:05,360 --> 00:09:09,400 Speaker 1: going to influence, you have to have that equanimity, you know, 170 00:09:09,640 --> 00:09:12,800 Speaker 1: like a ninja. You know there are things coming at 171 00:09:12,840 --> 00:09:16,920 Speaker 1: you and you can't be hijacked by your emotions and 172 00:09:17,040 --> 00:09:21,160 Speaker 1: the smartness of your move will determine the outcomes. And 173 00:09:21,280 --> 00:09:25,720 Speaker 1: how do you learn that? Because it produces better results 174 00:09:26,040 --> 00:09:29,120 Speaker 1: and the other one produces bad results. And it's like, 175 00:09:29,160 --> 00:09:31,080 Speaker 1: do you learn anything, It's the same way you learn 176 00:09:31,280 --> 00:09:34,800 Speaker 1: don't put your hand on a hot stove. Yeah, absolutely, absolutely. 177 00:09:34,840 --> 00:09:36,559 Speaker 1: I love that because I think we live in the 178 00:09:36,600 --> 00:09:38,840 Speaker 1: world right now where it's like is it this way 179 00:09:38,920 --> 00:09:41,760 Speaker 1: or that way? It's always is either or, and you're saying, well, no, 180 00:09:41,800 --> 00:09:44,360 Speaker 1: it's both. Right. We need both acceptance and control. We 181 00:09:44,440 --> 00:09:48,240 Speaker 1: need both desires, and I think often we get lost thinking, right, 182 00:09:48,240 --> 00:09:50,040 Speaker 1: it's one or the other, you can only choose one. 183 00:09:50,480 --> 00:09:55,920 Speaker 1: And in all either of those cases, it's reality. Okay, 184 00:09:56,000 --> 00:10:00,120 Speaker 1: you're dealing with reality, so to go above it. It 185 00:10:00,320 --> 00:10:04,920 Speaker 1: is so important you know, here I am in this situation, 186 00:10:05,960 --> 00:10:10,240 Speaker 1: and what do I do? What resources can I use? 187 00:10:10,679 --> 00:10:13,920 Speaker 1: Who might I speak with for help? All of that 188 00:10:14,400 --> 00:10:17,240 Speaker 1: helps you navigate because you still have to do with 189 00:10:17,280 --> 00:10:21,320 Speaker 1: the reality. Yes, absolutely absolutely. When when did you we're 190 00:10:21,360 --> 00:10:23,800 Speaker 1: doing much my principle as the journal, and I know, 191 00:10:23,840 --> 00:10:25,440 Speaker 1: like you said, there's an app attached to it. And 192 00:10:25,480 --> 00:10:29,280 Speaker 1: for anyone who's wondering why this journal is different, there's 193 00:10:29,280 --> 00:10:31,240 Speaker 1: so many reasons why it's different. A because it has 194 00:10:31,280 --> 00:10:34,040 Speaker 1: better prompts than most journals I've seen. But it also 195 00:10:34,080 --> 00:10:36,280 Speaker 1: has this QR code that kind of you can scan 196 00:10:36,440 --> 00:10:39,240 Speaker 1: on every page. And so whether it's doing the assessment 197 00:10:39,320 --> 00:10:41,480 Speaker 1: or whether in this case it's what's a case study 198 00:10:41,480 --> 00:10:44,640 Speaker 1: of this principle in action, it's it's an interactive journal, right, 199 00:10:44,640 --> 00:10:46,199 Speaker 1: which is very different. I think we have lots of 200 00:10:46,280 --> 00:10:49,680 Speaker 1: journals where we write with a pendant, you're jotting down 201 00:10:49,679 --> 00:10:51,880 Speaker 1: your thoughts. But here, if you can see, there's you 202 00:10:52,120 --> 00:10:55,240 Speaker 1: exercises included as well. When did you I'm intrigued, when 203 00:10:55,280 --> 00:10:59,760 Speaker 1: did your personal journaling practice start ray? Or about twenty 204 00:10:59,800 --> 00:11:03,640 Speaker 1: five years ago? But I want to say that by 205 00:11:03,720 --> 00:11:06,960 Speaker 1: being it gives you sort of an option. Do I 206 00:11:07,040 --> 00:11:11,760 Speaker 1: want to have what I'm doing saved online so then 207 00:11:11,800 --> 00:11:13,559 Speaker 1: I can play around with it? In other words, I 208 00:11:13,640 --> 00:11:16,520 Speaker 1: got the data. So now once I've got the data 209 00:11:16,600 --> 00:11:20,040 Speaker 1: online rather than on piece of paper, you can do 210 00:11:20,160 --> 00:11:24,440 Speaker 1: things with it. But sometimes that piece of paper. But 211 00:11:24,559 --> 00:11:29,400 Speaker 1: I started about I guess about twenty five, maybe thirty 212 00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:33,200 Speaker 1: years ago. I can't tell you. I started. When I 213 00:11:33,240 --> 00:11:37,199 Speaker 1: started build my company, it was a point of having 214 00:11:37,240 --> 00:11:41,360 Speaker 1: sixty seven people. I remember it because every holiday season 215 00:11:42,280 --> 00:11:44,760 Speaker 1: I would you know, I started my company from nothing, 216 00:11:45,160 --> 00:11:47,920 Speaker 1: so I had two people, four people. Well, okay, we 217 00:11:47,960 --> 00:11:50,439 Speaker 1: got up to sixty seven. I remember it was sixty 218 00:11:50,440 --> 00:11:55,040 Speaker 1: seven because it was holiday season, and every holiday I 219 00:11:55,080 --> 00:11:59,160 Speaker 1: would shop for their individual gifts and I'd write each 220 00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:03,880 Speaker 1: individual law notes. And that was then long enough take 221 00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:07,120 Speaker 1: took me long enough to realize that I really need 222 00:12:07,120 --> 00:12:12,640 Speaker 1: to communicate better with them. I also journaled because I 223 00:12:12,760 --> 00:12:15,960 Speaker 1: needed to write down my decision rules for the markets 224 00:12:16,920 --> 00:12:20,160 Speaker 1: so that I could go back test them. So it's 225 00:12:20,200 --> 00:12:23,400 Speaker 1: a very great power if you can know what your 226 00:12:23,440 --> 00:12:27,079 Speaker 1: criteria would be and then say how would they have 227 00:12:27,160 --> 00:12:29,360 Speaker 1: worked in the past, how would they have worked in 228 00:12:29,400 --> 00:12:32,520 Speaker 1: this country or that country, Because then you're not just 229 00:12:32,760 --> 00:12:36,160 Speaker 1: making decisions, you have perspective on making the decisions. So 230 00:12:36,200 --> 00:12:40,600 Speaker 1: those two things together got me into journaling. I wanted 231 00:12:40,640 --> 00:12:44,079 Speaker 1: the world, my world, my people I worked with. We 232 00:12:44,080 --> 00:12:47,120 Speaker 1: went up to fifteen hundred people. How do you communicate 233 00:12:47,559 --> 00:12:50,560 Speaker 1: in a really good way? And it wasn't just journaling, 234 00:12:50,640 --> 00:12:55,120 Speaker 1: but then also I would combine the journaling with videos 235 00:12:55,120 --> 00:12:58,440 Speaker 1: of cases. My culture was to have meaningful work and 236 00:12:58,520 --> 00:13:03,679 Speaker 1: meaningful relationships through radical truthfulness and radical transparency. So what 237 00:13:04,320 --> 00:13:08,000 Speaker 1: we would do is video everything or tape everything for 238 00:13:08,040 --> 00:13:10,679 Speaker 1: everybody to see so that way they could see it. 239 00:13:10,720 --> 00:13:14,079 Speaker 1: And so by taking the principles and putting them together 240 00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:18,240 Speaker 1: with the situations, it was fabulous exposure. So everybody was 241 00:13:18,280 --> 00:13:21,520 Speaker 1: always informed and they were going through like this reality 242 00:13:21,600 --> 00:13:25,280 Speaker 1: TV type experience and that, and then they would give 243 00:13:25,480 --> 00:13:29,080 Speaker 1: answers as they were going through the experience because that 244 00:13:29,120 --> 00:13:32,720 Speaker 1: way they would have that experience, but imagine a reality 245 00:13:32,760 --> 00:13:36,760 Speaker 1: TV experience, but it's your reality around you, and then 246 00:13:36,800 --> 00:13:40,720 Speaker 1: you're making these this input and then that input would 247 00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:43,120 Speaker 1: be able to know what people would think. So we 248 00:13:43,240 --> 00:13:47,160 Speaker 1: found all that experience really well. So we took the journals, 249 00:13:47,400 --> 00:13:51,680 Speaker 1: the journaling of the principles I did, and put that 250 00:13:51,800 --> 00:13:55,000 Speaker 1: together with the videos. And that's that's on this app 251 00:13:55,440 --> 00:14:00,559 Speaker 1: Principles in Action. It's called Principles in Action and it's 252 00:14:01,320 --> 00:14:05,480 Speaker 1: rated four point nine. People love it. But that journaling experience, 253 00:14:05,520 --> 00:14:10,640 Speaker 1: that reflecting and reflecting together and communicating together helps the people, 254 00:14:11,080 --> 00:14:15,400 Speaker 1: bring people together, and it also helps people understand because 255 00:14:15,440 --> 00:14:18,000 Speaker 1: too much stuff is stuck up here. Oh wow, I 256 00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:20,840 Speaker 1: mean just hearing that. There's so many levels of journaling there. 257 00:14:20,840 --> 00:14:23,920 Speaker 1: There's the journaling of, like you're saying, you're writing down 258 00:14:23,960 --> 00:14:26,800 Speaker 1: your principles of the gifts and working with people. Then 259 00:14:26,840 --> 00:14:31,120 Speaker 1: there's the journaling of even videoing everything. I mean, that's journaling, right, 260 00:14:31,160 --> 00:14:35,280 Speaker 1: you're documenting it. It's recorded, it's there to reflect upon. 261 00:14:36,080 --> 00:14:38,960 Speaker 1: The most brilliant part about that, though, is that I 262 00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:41,840 Speaker 1: think today people have started to think journaling just means 263 00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:45,240 Speaker 1: writing down your feelings or writing down your thoughts. We're 264 00:14:45,320 --> 00:14:47,680 Speaker 1: just yeah, this is no no. I mean I think 265 00:14:47,680 --> 00:14:50,480 Speaker 1: it's good to write down your feelings, of course, yeah, 266 00:14:50,520 --> 00:14:53,240 Speaker 1: sort of bringing them forward to look up to and 267 00:14:53,320 --> 00:14:55,680 Speaker 1: to look at them. Is that that's a good exercise. 268 00:14:56,120 --> 00:14:59,000 Speaker 1: Religion is not is a way of life as an 269 00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:04,160 Speaker 1: approach to life. I don't mean the god part of religion. 270 00:15:04,360 --> 00:15:06,840 Speaker 1: I mean just how do you how do you approach life? 271 00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:11,320 Speaker 1: And you get to make that decision, and so it's 272 00:15:11,360 --> 00:15:14,840 Speaker 1: really when you're in a situation, what are you going 273 00:15:14,920 --> 00:15:18,000 Speaker 1: to do in that situation and why? And of course 274 00:15:18,040 --> 00:15:22,080 Speaker 1: it starts with your deeper needs, whatever they may be. 275 00:15:22,520 --> 00:15:24,840 Speaker 1: What do I want out of life? Who do I 276 00:15:24,880 --> 00:15:28,960 Speaker 1: want to be with? What are the directions? Okay, and 277 00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:32,280 Speaker 1: then it comes down to the particulars, and the particulars 278 00:15:32,400 --> 00:15:37,720 Speaker 1: can be aspirational. I'm seventy three years old. I know 279 00:15:37,800 --> 00:15:39,920 Speaker 1: that at this particular part in life, I want to 280 00:15:39,960 --> 00:15:42,520 Speaker 1: pass along the things that are valuable for me. It 281 00:15:42,600 --> 00:15:45,760 Speaker 1: could be on how do you fire a person? How 282 00:15:46,280 --> 00:15:48,840 Speaker 1: how do you treat that person? It could be what 283 00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:53,200 Speaker 1: is your relationship life? And so those are the principles. 284 00:15:53,240 --> 00:15:56,920 Speaker 1: It's not just it's not journaling feelings and so that 285 00:15:56,920 --> 00:15:59,480 Speaker 1: I found that very very valuable. But I'm in a 286 00:15:59,520 --> 00:16:01,760 Speaker 1: new phase of my life in which what I'm going 287 00:16:01,800 --> 00:16:04,920 Speaker 1: to do is get the best principles from everyone. I've 288 00:16:04,960 --> 00:16:07,800 Speaker 1: been passing along my principles and so on, and it's 289 00:16:07,840 --> 00:16:10,800 Speaker 1: been people find it helpful. What a joy it is, 290 00:16:11,440 --> 00:16:15,080 Speaker 1: as you must experience when people say, oh my god, 291 00:16:15,120 --> 00:16:18,800 Speaker 1: you've changed my life. But other people can do it. 292 00:16:19,160 --> 00:16:22,280 Speaker 1: You're doing it. And I say to so many people 293 00:16:23,320 --> 00:16:27,120 Speaker 1: who are really very very successful, people who have never 294 00:16:27,200 --> 00:16:30,880 Speaker 1: written down their principles, that they're going to die with them. 295 00:16:31,320 --> 00:16:35,920 Speaker 1: And if they instead write them down and make them clear. 296 00:16:36,520 --> 00:16:39,640 Speaker 1: Then they're teaching other people because there's a life arc, right. 297 00:16:39,760 --> 00:16:44,560 Speaker 1: We have experiences that things of decisions we make that 298 00:16:44,600 --> 00:16:48,640 Speaker 1: make us successful, okay, including how to deal with pain, 299 00:16:49,240 --> 00:16:52,600 Speaker 1: and so if we write those things down, we can 300 00:16:52,680 --> 00:16:55,640 Speaker 1: help other people. And I think, like, I probably won't 301 00:16:55,680 --> 00:17:00,520 Speaker 1: be around to speak to my grandchildren in the way 302 00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:02,760 Speaker 1: that I would like to then, but they will have 303 00:17:02,800 --> 00:17:06,960 Speaker 1: those principles. And so now my aspiration is to get 304 00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:11,440 Speaker 1: the best principles from wherever they come from. So this 305 00:17:11,520 --> 00:17:15,399 Speaker 1: journal will be accompanied by an ability for people to 306 00:17:15,560 --> 00:17:18,960 Speaker 1: submit their principles, and I'm doing that also with the 307 00:17:19,160 --> 00:17:22,760 Speaker 1: most successful, impactful people in the world. That's why I'm 308 00:17:22,760 --> 00:17:27,040 Speaker 1: going to regrabbing your principles and that'll be put online 309 00:17:27,480 --> 00:17:31,360 Speaker 1: so that people can vote up what are the best principles. 310 00:17:31,560 --> 00:17:34,600 Speaker 1: They could either go to Jay Chetti's principles or they 311 00:17:34,600 --> 00:17:37,359 Speaker 1: can say, all through that vote and what's the best 312 00:17:37,359 --> 00:17:40,760 Speaker 1: principle for the thing I'm dealing with? So that way 313 00:17:40,760 --> 00:17:43,080 Speaker 1: they can look and they say, I am dealing with 314 00:17:43,119 --> 00:17:46,720 Speaker 1: this situation, push the bus, and then what are the 315 00:17:46,720 --> 00:17:51,120 Speaker 1: best principles for that situation wherever they come from, and 316 00:17:51,160 --> 00:17:54,200 Speaker 1: then they could choose their principles and that's I think 317 00:17:54,280 --> 00:17:57,040 Speaker 1: foundational for life. Yeah, that's fantastic, and I know that's 318 00:17:57,040 --> 00:17:59,320 Speaker 1: what you're focusing with this is like you want people 319 00:17:59,359 --> 00:18:01,440 Speaker 1: to come up with their own Yeah, and that's going 320 00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:03,880 Speaker 1: to mean being exposed to a lot of different ideas, 321 00:18:03,880 --> 00:18:06,919 Speaker 1: a lot of different insights to find what they can 322 00:18:06,960 --> 00:18:09,840 Speaker 1: hold on to and then develop themselves. Did you always think? 323 00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:11,800 Speaker 1: You've always said that to me since I've met you, 324 00:18:11,840 --> 00:18:14,040 Speaker 1: And obviously that's been the journey that you're on right now, 325 00:18:14,080 --> 00:18:16,720 Speaker 1: that this phase in your life is giving back and 326 00:18:17,040 --> 00:18:20,000 Speaker 1: sharing the principles you've learned. Have you always had a 327 00:18:20,119 --> 00:18:22,880 Speaker 1: vision for different stages of your life? And I don't 328 00:18:22,880 --> 00:18:25,280 Speaker 1: mean a five year, ten year plan. I mean more 329 00:18:25,320 --> 00:18:27,960 Speaker 1: of like, this is the world I'm walking into? Like, 330 00:18:28,200 --> 00:18:30,560 Speaker 1: is that how you that day? I don't know how 331 00:18:30,600 --> 00:18:34,440 Speaker 1: many years ago I started to realize the arc of life, right. 332 00:18:34,600 --> 00:18:37,360 Speaker 1: There's actually an exercise in the book on the arc 333 00:18:37,400 --> 00:18:42,160 Speaker 1: and life, the arc in life, Yeah, and these are 334 00:18:42,320 --> 00:18:46,000 Speaker 1: all the different things that happened to you at that stage. 335 00:18:46,040 --> 00:18:51,080 Speaker 1: It's almost like a script. And by going down this script, 336 00:18:51,720 --> 00:18:55,840 Speaker 1: one could see where one is and one could see 337 00:18:55,880 --> 00:18:57,960 Speaker 1: the things that are going to come at them. I 338 00:18:58,080 --> 00:19:00,840 Speaker 1: started to realize that in a big picture pit I 339 00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:03,680 Speaker 1: don't know. Maybe it was twenty five thirty years ago, 340 00:19:03,720 --> 00:19:07,000 Speaker 1: I can't say. But then I began to research it 341 00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:11,879 Speaker 1: and understand it a lot greater, and then I began 342 00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:16,200 Speaker 1: to feel it. You feel it again. When you can 343 00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:22,400 Speaker 1: connect intellectually what's happening with subliminally and emotionally what's happening 344 00:19:22,440 --> 00:19:26,840 Speaker 1: to you, you gain perspective and so this, like this phase, 345 00:19:28,200 --> 00:19:31,800 Speaker 1: it's not just an intellectual thing. I don't know. Maybe 346 00:19:32,240 --> 00:19:37,600 Speaker 1: nature has programmed us in our minds to have these 347 00:19:38,119 --> 00:19:42,000 Speaker 1: needs and feelings at certain age. So I know that now, 348 00:19:42,480 --> 00:19:45,280 Speaker 1: like the greatest joy that I can have is to 349 00:19:45,320 --> 00:19:48,360 Speaker 1: help people be successful without me. I mean, I know 350 00:19:48,800 --> 00:19:52,840 Speaker 1: what my time arising is. And I know that my 351 00:19:52,960 --> 00:19:57,520 Speaker 1: greatest joy is not any longer in being successful myself. 352 00:19:58,440 --> 00:20:00,840 Speaker 1: That that was great aid, and it is fine and 353 00:20:00,880 --> 00:20:02,359 Speaker 1: so on, but I don't need more of that, And 354 00:20:02,440 --> 00:20:05,520 Speaker 1: I really my greatest joy is in helping other people. 355 00:20:05,720 --> 00:20:09,720 Speaker 1: And I can't say whether that is a instinctual, how 356 00:20:09,800 --> 00:20:13,320 Speaker 1: much it's instinctual, how much it's cerebral by seeing that 357 00:20:13,440 --> 00:20:17,359 Speaker 1: stage in life, but it's apparent. Yeah, no, absolutely, And 358 00:20:17,400 --> 00:20:20,520 Speaker 1: you're doing It. Away is a travel company that believes 359 00:20:20,560 --> 00:20:23,080 Speaker 1: that the more we travel, the better we all become. 360 00:20:23,600 --> 00:20:27,120 Speaker 1: This holiday season, Away off as a range of suitcases, bags, 361 00:20:27,160 --> 00:20:30,919 Speaker 1: and other traveler essentials made for different types of travelers, 362 00:20:30,920 --> 00:20:34,000 Speaker 1: from the overpackers to the minimalist, to the travel expert 363 00:20:34,080 --> 00:20:37,399 Speaker 1: to everyone in between. All over Way suitcases are built 364 00:20:37,440 --> 00:20:41,760 Speaker 1: to last with durable, lightweight exteriors that can withstand even 365 00:20:41,800 --> 00:20:45,480 Speaker 1: the roughest of baggage handlers. 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If you decide it's not 371 00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:05,159 Speaker 1: for you, you can return any non personalized item for 372 00:21:05,240 --> 00:21:09,680 Speaker 1: a full refund during that period, no ifs ands or asterisks. 373 00:21:09,920 --> 00:21:13,359 Speaker 1: Away offers free shipping and returns on any order within 374 00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:18,520 Speaker 1: contiguous US, Europe, Canada, and Australia, except for personalized products. 375 00:21:18,960 --> 00:21:21,800 Speaker 1: Christmas holiday is just around the corner, so I'm super 376 00:21:21,840 --> 00:21:24,359 Speaker 1: excited to spend it with my family. My wife's a 377 00:21:24,400 --> 00:21:28,399 Speaker 1: classic overpacker. Sometimes for a weekend trip she really packs 378 00:21:28,400 --> 00:21:30,840 Speaker 1: a lot of stuff just in case she needs somebody. 379 00:21:31,280 --> 00:21:33,640 Speaker 1: That's why I love using a suitcase from Away because 380 00:21:33,640 --> 00:21:37,520 Speaker 1: it fits everything we need perfectly this holiday season. Gift 381 00:21:37,560 --> 00:21:43,000 Speaker 1: away at awaytravel dot Com forward slash j that's Awaytravel 382 00:21:43,160 --> 00:21:47,240 Speaker 1: dot Com forward slash j. I remember last year, my 383 00:21:47,320 --> 00:21:49,640 Speaker 1: wife and I were doing a charity event to raise 384 00:21:49,720 --> 00:21:52,560 Speaker 1: funds for COVID nineteen in India because we read a 385 00:21:52,640 --> 00:21:55,240 Speaker 1: statistic that one person was dying every five minutes of 386 00:21:55,280 --> 00:21:57,200 Speaker 1: COVID nineteen. And I reach out to you, and you 387 00:21:57,280 --> 00:22:00,520 Speaker 1: just gave such a wonderfully generous donation, and so in 388 00:22:00,600 --> 00:22:04,360 Speaker 1: so many ways you're helping and supporting, and it's been 389 00:22:04,359 --> 00:22:07,200 Speaker 1: so beautiful to see you're doing something. We were talking 390 00:22:07,240 --> 00:22:09,760 Speaker 1: about this just before we started filming, but this idea 391 00:22:09,800 --> 00:22:12,840 Speaker 1: of like coaching and mentorship, right what you're saying is 392 00:22:13,040 --> 00:22:15,959 Speaker 1: you're trying to preserve this coaching and mentorship for your 393 00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:20,280 Speaker 1: grand creds, great grandkids, everyone else's grandkids and great grandkids 394 00:22:20,280 --> 00:22:24,000 Speaker 1: as well that will have access to this. And journaling 395 00:22:24,080 --> 00:22:26,600 Speaker 1: is someone that we see so many greats did as well. 396 00:22:26,640 --> 00:22:29,480 Speaker 1: It's a practice that has stood the test of time. 397 00:22:30,400 --> 00:22:34,040 Speaker 1: There are two schools of thought Some entrepreneurs believe that 398 00:22:34,280 --> 00:22:37,439 Speaker 1: mentors and coaches are a huge integral part of their life. 399 00:22:37,560 --> 00:22:42,320 Speaker 1: I know that I've had spiritual mentors, financial mentors, career mentors, 400 00:22:42,320 --> 00:22:44,120 Speaker 1: other mentors in every area of my life. I see 401 00:22:44,119 --> 00:22:46,639 Speaker 1: you as a mentor. On the other end, there are 402 00:22:46,720 --> 00:22:49,480 Speaker 1: entrepreneurs who believe they're self made. That you don't need mentors, 403 00:22:49,480 --> 00:22:51,040 Speaker 1: you don't need coaches, you don't need to listen to 404 00:22:51,040 --> 00:22:53,920 Speaker 1: anyone's advice. Where do you sit on that and how 405 00:22:53,960 --> 00:22:56,840 Speaker 1: do you help young people navigate that today? Because I 406 00:22:56,880 --> 00:22:59,840 Speaker 1: think a lot of people are stuck trying to figure 407 00:22:59,840 --> 00:23:02,800 Speaker 1: out or they're not doing either properly. As well, the 408 00:23:02,920 --> 00:23:09,119 Speaker 1: second group is stupid. But just be clear. Okay, that 409 00:23:09,280 --> 00:23:13,200 Speaker 1: was very radiclear. I just want to be clear. They 410 00:23:13,280 --> 00:23:19,840 Speaker 1: may confuse the fact that they may have good instincts, 411 00:23:20,520 --> 00:23:23,320 Speaker 1: they have to make their own decisions. They can be 412 00:23:24,760 --> 00:23:28,560 Speaker 1: independent thinkers that might do controversial things in order to 413 00:23:28,560 --> 00:23:32,280 Speaker 1: be successful. That all is true, Okay, that all is true, 414 00:23:33,160 --> 00:23:40,280 Speaker 1: But the perspectives gained, the learning, the wisdom that is gained, 415 00:23:40,320 --> 00:23:44,520 Speaker 1: the open mindedness, the power of stress testing your ideas. 416 00:23:44,960 --> 00:23:48,600 Speaker 1: I say that I think everybody to be successful should 417 00:23:48,640 --> 00:23:53,960 Speaker 1: be assertive and open minded at the same time people ask, well, 418 00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:58,640 Speaker 1: what does that merely mean? It means you have to believe, 419 00:23:58,760 --> 00:24:01,520 Speaker 1: you have to understand, and then at the same time 420 00:24:02,119 --> 00:24:05,800 Speaker 1: you have to doubt and pull out and get the 421 00:24:05,880 --> 00:24:10,359 Speaker 1: questions so that you stress tested and you're learning. And 422 00:24:10,400 --> 00:24:15,080 Speaker 1: so there's a great power in getting the other perspectives, 423 00:24:15,359 --> 00:24:19,200 Speaker 1: you know. A triangulation for me is the key to success. 424 00:24:19,359 --> 00:24:22,680 Speaker 1: One of the keys to success. Triangulation, I mean, get 425 00:24:22,720 --> 00:24:26,600 Speaker 1: the three smartest people that you know who will care 426 00:24:26,640 --> 00:24:31,760 Speaker 1: about you but will disagree with you, will stress test you, 427 00:24:32,200 --> 00:24:36,320 Speaker 1: and have those conversations, and I like to have them 428 00:24:36,840 --> 00:24:40,280 Speaker 1: disagree with each other. Yeah, so I'll bring them into 429 00:24:40,320 --> 00:24:44,080 Speaker 1: a room and we'll have a conversation and then okay, 430 00:24:44,200 --> 00:24:47,000 Speaker 1: do the back and forth you want to learn about anything, 431 00:24:47,119 --> 00:24:51,000 Speaker 1: Like I have big initiatives and where I don't know anything, 432 00:24:51,600 --> 00:24:54,560 Speaker 1: and I have found that if I follow that approach 433 00:24:54,880 --> 00:24:57,280 Speaker 1: by getting the best experts, and I do that, I 434 00:24:57,320 --> 00:25:00,680 Speaker 1: can go into things with the guidance. So it's so 435 00:25:00,920 --> 00:25:06,879 Speaker 1: obviously stupid, all right think or so obviously beneficial to 436 00:25:07,040 --> 00:25:10,200 Speaker 1: be able to draw up on the best thinking and 437 00:25:10,240 --> 00:25:13,320 Speaker 1: then not to just blindly believe. So when I say 438 00:25:13,320 --> 00:25:16,119 Speaker 1: it be assertive and open minded at the same time. 439 00:25:16,400 --> 00:25:20,119 Speaker 1: Don't just follow, Okay, do the back and forth. Here 440 00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:23,400 Speaker 1: are the disagreements, and then resolve the disagreements. It's an 441 00:25:23,440 --> 00:25:27,359 Speaker 1: extremely powerful approach. Yeah. No, there's this amazing study I 442 00:25:27,359 --> 00:25:30,760 Speaker 1: read a few years ago in MT where they said 443 00:25:30,800 --> 00:25:33,120 Speaker 1: that they did a study. MT did a study on 444 00:25:33,600 --> 00:25:37,560 Speaker 1: the most innovative people inside an organization, and they showed 445 00:25:37,560 --> 00:25:39,359 Speaker 1: two graphs to people and they said, who do you 446 00:25:39,359 --> 00:25:42,000 Speaker 1: think is more innovative? And in graph number one it 447 00:25:42,040 --> 00:25:45,800 Speaker 1: was where one person is connected to lots of different 448 00:25:45,800 --> 00:25:50,160 Speaker 1: people like this, and then graph two was people connected 449 00:25:50,160 --> 00:25:52,240 Speaker 1: to people and then the people they knew were connected 450 00:25:52,280 --> 00:25:54,560 Speaker 1: to each other, And they asked, who do you think 451 00:25:54,640 --> 00:25:57,600 Speaker 1: is more innovative, and most people said the second. I 452 00:25:57,640 --> 00:25:59,240 Speaker 1: don't know if that's because people don't have to read 453 00:25:59,320 --> 00:26:02,480 Speaker 1: graphs or whether people really thought it was, but the 454 00:26:02,520 --> 00:26:05,479 Speaker 1: answer was that if you know people who all know 455 00:26:05,600 --> 00:26:08,640 Speaker 1: each other, chances are you're going to be less innovative 456 00:26:08,640 --> 00:26:11,440 Speaker 1: and less effective because you live in an echo chamber. 457 00:26:11,720 --> 00:26:13,720 Speaker 1: But if you know people who don't know each other, 458 00:26:13,760 --> 00:26:17,600 Speaker 1: who have more random ideas disagreements, are less likely to 459 00:26:18,720 --> 00:26:22,160 Speaker 1: affirm each other's beliefs. Which is what you're saying, you're 460 00:26:22,160 --> 00:26:24,439 Speaker 1: actually going to get to a better answer. So they 461 00:26:24,440 --> 00:26:27,240 Speaker 1: were saying that if you know people from different backgrounds, 462 00:26:27,280 --> 00:26:32,000 Speaker 1: different walks of life, different expertise, therefore they will naturally 463 00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:34,359 Speaker 1: be debate, you get healthier answers. So I think that 464 00:26:34,440 --> 00:26:38,080 Speaker 1: study always stands out to me. And this is a problem. 465 00:26:38,359 --> 00:26:42,560 Speaker 1: The biggest problem of our society now. The biggest problem 466 00:26:42,640 --> 00:26:47,440 Speaker 1: of our society now is individuals who are highly opinionated, 467 00:26:48,359 --> 00:26:54,080 Speaker 1: who will not exchange open mindedly the different opinions about 468 00:26:54,160 --> 00:26:57,919 Speaker 1: things and are in their echo chambers, whether it's on 469 00:26:58,080 --> 00:27:01,600 Speaker 1: the particular media that they're connected to and so on, 470 00:27:02,040 --> 00:27:05,359 Speaker 1: who are then having conflicts with each other. This is 471 00:27:05,800 --> 00:27:09,399 Speaker 1: a threat to our society. Yeah, and let's talk about it. 472 00:27:09,440 --> 00:27:11,960 Speaker 1: I think that's such a fascinating topic and idea because 473 00:27:12,040 --> 00:27:13,720 Speaker 1: I couldn't agree with you more if I had to 474 00:27:13,720 --> 00:27:16,320 Speaker 1: say for myself, I feel like I think maybe it 475 00:27:16,400 --> 00:27:19,320 Speaker 1: was from you know, working. I love both my parents, 476 00:27:19,320 --> 00:27:21,880 Speaker 1: but I was mediating their marriage since I was a kid, 477 00:27:21,880 --> 00:27:23,560 Speaker 1: and so I was very good at being on both sides. 478 00:27:23,760 --> 00:27:26,760 Speaker 1: I love them both individually, and I would always like 479 00:27:26,760 --> 00:27:28,280 Speaker 1: I'd know I could listen to my mom and I 480 00:27:28,280 --> 00:27:30,280 Speaker 1: could hear her side and I could empathize with her, 481 00:27:30,440 --> 00:27:32,480 Speaker 1: and I do the same with my dad, and I'd 482 00:27:32,520 --> 00:27:34,600 Speaker 1: be there for both of them, and it became a 483 00:27:34,680 --> 00:27:36,400 Speaker 1: natural thing that I was able to do. I think 484 00:27:36,440 --> 00:27:38,520 Speaker 1: because of that, when I reflect on, I think that's 485 00:27:38,520 --> 00:27:40,600 Speaker 1: how I gained that skill. So I've always found it 486 00:27:40,680 --> 00:27:43,280 Speaker 1: very natural to be able to understand different sides, to 487 00:27:43,560 --> 00:27:46,560 Speaker 1: really empathize and connect with different people and see that 488 00:27:46,560 --> 00:27:50,080 Speaker 1: there's truth and challenges in both. But I think that's 489 00:27:50,119 --> 00:27:53,960 Speaker 1: hard to do because I think today we feel ideology 490 00:27:54,119 --> 00:27:57,000 Speaker 1: is our safety, right, and ideology is what makes us 491 00:27:57,040 --> 00:28:00,360 Speaker 1: feel secure and who we are, and so right, that's 492 00:28:00,359 --> 00:28:03,119 Speaker 1: a serious mistake, right, So yeah, let's let's get into that. 493 00:28:03,359 --> 00:28:06,240 Speaker 1: How do we let go of that in recognizing that 494 00:28:06,320 --> 00:28:10,399 Speaker 1: actually knowledge and knowing is far more a safety than 495 00:28:10,680 --> 00:28:14,040 Speaker 1: holding onto one ideology. I think it's simple. The fear 496 00:28:15,000 --> 00:28:19,800 Speaker 1: of making bad mistakes or being wrong should be a 497 00:28:19,880 --> 00:28:26,400 Speaker 1: motivator to take in these different perspectives and then weigh things. Okay, 498 00:28:26,720 --> 00:28:30,719 Speaker 1: an ideology, though let's say it's a political ideology. I 499 00:28:30,840 --> 00:28:34,600 Speaker 1: want my children to be educated in a certain way. 500 00:28:34,720 --> 00:28:39,600 Speaker 1: That's a very particular important ideology still means that there 501 00:28:39,600 --> 00:28:43,440 Speaker 1: are choices that you have, and then the question is 502 00:28:43,800 --> 00:28:46,320 Speaker 1: have you made those choices in the best way? And 503 00:28:46,320 --> 00:28:49,160 Speaker 1: then after you've made those choices, what are you going 504 00:28:49,240 --> 00:28:51,680 Speaker 1: to do about it? Should you move from one place 505 00:28:51,680 --> 00:28:55,360 Speaker 1: to another? Should what schools do you pick? I mean, 506 00:28:55,360 --> 00:28:57,760 Speaker 1: you know those kinds of things. Life is just a 507 00:28:57,800 --> 00:29:02,000 Speaker 1: matter of those particular choices. And there are win win relationships, 508 00:29:02,080 --> 00:29:05,920 Speaker 1: and there are lose lose relationships, and win win relationships 509 00:29:05,960 --> 00:29:09,440 Speaker 1: are a lot better than lose lose relationships. So knowing 510 00:29:09,480 --> 00:29:13,400 Speaker 1: the approach to that, live and let live. I can 511 00:29:13,440 --> 00:29:15,840 Speaker 1: make my choices, I can move here, I can do this. 512 00:29:16,360 --> 00:29:20,920 Speaker 1: Or the mutual respect that you have for it's okay, 513 00:29:21,040 --> 00:29:23,160 Speaker 1: you can have your point of view. To be less 514 00:29:23,280 --> 00:29:27,880 Speaker 1: judgmental is better. I mean it's better for everybody. Is 515 00:29:27,920 --> 00:29:30,800 Speaker 1: somebody doing you harm? That's a whole different thing. But 516 00:29:31,440 --> 00:29:34,400 Speaker 1: all of that I think is very very important. The 517 00:29:34,560 --> 00:29:39,040 Speaker 1: art of thoughtful disagreement is the basis of a very 518 00:29:39,960 --> 00:29:44,240 Speaker 1: innovative and also harmonious society. If you want to have 519 00:29:44,280 --> 00:29:47,920 Speaker 1: an innovative, harmonious society, you have to have the art 520 00:29:47,960 --> 00:29:52,520 Speaker 1: of thoughtful disagreement. And the mediator is a very important 521 00:29:52,560 --> 00:29:56,320 Speaker 1: role so that you played because, like I wrote in 522 00:29:56,360 --> 00:29:58,800 Speaker 1: my other book Principles, one of the handy things is 523 00:29:59,160 --> 00:30:02,320 Speaker 1: if you're having a disagreement, one of you might be wrong, 524 00:30:02,600 --> 00:30:04,280 Speaker 1: and how do you know and how do you get 525 00:30:04,280 --> 00:30:08,000 Speaker 1: past that? And so the classic thing is to find 526 00:30:08,440 --> 00:30:14,280 Speaker 1: to agree on somebody who you mutually agree will be 527 00:30:14,400 --> 00:30:17,880 Speaker 1: a fair judge and a fair mediator. And if you 528 00:30:18,000 --> 00:30:21,480 Speaker 1: mutually agree on that person, then you bring them. Then 529 00:30:21,520 --> 00:30:24,360 Speaker 1: they can get you, they can help you along. And 530 00:30:24,440 --> 00:30:28,200 Speaker 1: the exercise of going above it and saying, Okay, here's 531 00:30:28,280 --> 00:30:32,440 Speaker 1: this disagreement, and how do we deal with disagreement and 532 00:30:34,240 --> 00:30:37,040 Speaker 1: each other related to the disagreement, that is a good 533 00:30:37,080 --> 00:30:40,120 Speaker 1: perspective to have. And so I think that as we 534 00:30:40,160 --> 00:30:42,560 Speaker 1: look at all those things, I think that it's so 535 00:30:42,720 --> 00:30:46,920 Speaker 1: clear that approaches like that are and perspectives like that 536 00:30:47,240 --> 00:30:49,600 Speaker 1: are very very helpful. Yeah, and I love how you 537 00:30:49,680 --> 00:30:52,680 Speaker 1: cool and art because I remember when I was at 538 00:30:52,720 --> 00:30:55,240 Speaker 1: in my high school, I was part of my debating 539 00:30:55,240 --> 00:30:59,200 Speaker 1: team at school, and I first got into it because 540 00:30:59,560 --> 00:31:02,840 Speaker 1: I found public speaking natural and I enjoyed it. And 541 00:31:03,480 --> 00:31:05,200 Speaker 1: you know, I guess as a young man, I thought 542 00:31:05,240 --> 00:31:07,200 Speaker 1: it was fun to argue with people and defeat them, 543 00:31:07,200 --> 00:31:09,880 Speaker 1: and things like that, and I'd go up there and 544 00:31:09,880 --> 00:31:12,440 Speaker 1: I know how to pick apart someone's argument, and I'd 545 00:31:12,520 --> 00:31:14,600 Speaker 1: know how to bend it and twist it. And then 546 00:31:14,640 --> 00:31:17,800 Speaker 1: I remember one of our teachers or coaches. He sat 547 00:31:17,840 --> 00:31:20,080 Speaker 1: me down and he said, Jay, do you think you're 548 00:31:20,080 --> 00:31:22,480 Speaker 1: good at this? And I hadn't had a young person's 549 00:31:22,520 --> 00:31:24,600 Speaker 1: ego like you. I was were fifteen, sixteen years old, 550 00:31:24,600 --> 00:31:26,840 Speaker 1: and I was like, yeah, I'm really great at this. 551 00:31:27,120 --> 00:31:29,800 Speaker 1: And he said, well, actually, you you are just winning 552 00:31:29,880 --> 00:31:32,400 Speaker 1: because you get it arguing. But he goes, you don't 553 00:31:32,440 --> 00:31:34,720 Speaker 1: actually know how to debate. And I said, what do 554 00:31:34,760 --> 00:31:37,480 Speaker 1: you mean and he said, well, he said, you're debating 555 00:31:37,520 --> 00:31:40,120 Speaker 1: based on why your point is better. But he goes, 556 00:31:40,360 --> 00:31:43,800 Speaker 1: you don't know the other person's point well enough. And 557 00:31:43,880 --> 00:31:45,760 Speaker 1: so he said, the only way you become a great 558 00:31:45,800 --> 00:31:49,840 Speaker 1: debater is if you also deeply study the opposing argument. 559 00:31:50,160 --> 00:31:51,760 Speaker 1: He goes, you can't just win on the merit of 560 00:31:51,800 --> 00:31:55,440 Speaker 1: your argument. You have to actually understand where that person's 561 00:31:55,480 --> 00:31:57,800 Speaker 1: coming from. It changed my whole view. Yeah, so I'll 562 00:31:57,800 --> 00:32:00,560 Speaker 1: take that an one please, please, Oh, I'd love for 563 00:32:00,600 --> 00:32:04,320 Speaker 1: you to. Yeah. The one step further is not to 564 00:32:04,520 --> 00:32:09,479 Speaker 1: win your point of view. The one step further is 565 00:32:09,520 --> 00:32:15,040 Speaker 1: to get a truth. The real winner is somebody who 566 00:32:15,160 --> 00:32:20,800 Speaker 1: learns something. Okay, so I'm talking about in life. Maybe 567 00:32:20,840 --> 00:32:22,960 Speaker 1: on the stage you say, ah, you won the debate 568 00:32:23,240 --> 00:32:26,840 Speaker 1: because you ended up with the position you started with yes, 569 00:32:27,000 --> 00:32:29,960 Speaker 1: and you wont it. We give you the most points. 570 00:32:30,280 --> 00:32:33,320 Speaker 1: But the real winner in life is to try to 571 00:32:33,360 --> 00:32:36,440 Speaker 1: find what the best path is. And the one who 572 00:32:36,480 --> 00:32:40,719 Speaker 1: comes out of it, who has improved their understanding and 573 00:32:40,840 --> 00:32:44,240 Speaker 1: makes a step forward, is the real winner. So losing 574 00:32:44,280 --> 00:32:47,040 Speaker 1: the debate in many cases can make you a better winner. 575 00:32:47,360 --> 00:32:49,600 Speaker 1: I couldn't agree more. I couldn't agree more, and I think, 576 00:32:49,640 --> 00:32:51,400 Speaker 1: I think that's the challenge. I remember, there's there's a 577 00:32:51,440 --> 00:32:53,200 Speaker 1: famous phrase. I don't know where it comes from, but 578 00:32:53,840 --> 00:32:56,360 Speaker 1: there's three sides to every story. One's yours, one's mind, 579 00:32:56,400 --> 00:32:59,560 Speaker 1: and then the truth. Right like there's but we've so 580 00:32:59,760 --> 00:33:02,800 Speaker 1: off feel that our side is the truth. I know. 581 00:33:02,840 --> 00:33:05,479 Speaker 1: It's such a terror. We've been raised that way. You know. 582 00:33:05,760 --> 00:33:09,400 Speaker 1: The educational system means, okay, you take a test. I 583 00:33:09,440 --> 00:33:12,680 Speaker 1: came up with the right answer I want, Okay. It 584 00:33:12,720 --> 00:33:16,040 Speaker 1: doesn't take you through the journey of saying I'm now 585 00:33:16,080 --> 00:33:19,760 Speaker 1: having experience and I was wrong, And how do I 586 00:33:19,880 --> 00:33:22,280 Speaker 1: go above that. That's what one of the big reasons 587 00:33:22,280 --> 00:33:25,080 Speaker 1: why people often who are very successful in school are 588 00:33:25,080 --> 00:33:27,920 Speaker 1: not very successful in life. Yeah it's so true. Yeah, 589 00:33:27,920 --> 00:33:30,360 Speaker 1: it's so true. And I hope that this podcast at 590 00:33:30,400 --> 00:33:32,760 Speaker 1: least reminds people that any argument you have this week, 591 00:33:32,800 --> 00:33:34,880 Speaker 1: this doesn't just apply with a debate in the workplace 592 00:33:35,000 --> 00:33:38,000 Speaker 1: or a disagreement at home with your friends and your family, 593 00:33:38,040 --> 00:33:40,680 Speaker 1: wherever you are. If you can take a moment to 594 00:33:40,800 --> 00:33:43,760 Speaker 1: reflect on finding the truth, as you rightly said, and 595 00:33:43,800 --> 00:33:48,520 Speaker 1: a bad experience can become a good experience. In other words, 596 00:33:48,560 --> 00:33:51,719 Speaker 1: if you approach it as a fight, it's going to 597 00:33:51,760 --> 00:33:56,160 Speaker 1: produce a lot of anxiety. If you approach it as 598 00:33:56,200 --> 00:34:01,160 Speaker 1: a curiosity and a game almost that you're playing with 599 00:34:01,200 --> 00:34:05,000 Speaker 1: each other, okay, to try to get at truth, Okay, 600 00:34:05,040 --> 00:34:08,320 Speaker 1: then that could be really a wonderful experience. But somehow 601 00:34:08,360 --> 00:34:11,520 Speaker 1: we feel that admitting a mistake or admitting we were 602 00:34:11,560 --> 00:34:14,320 Speaker 1: wrong or discovering the truth makes us weak and makes 603 00:34:14,400 --> 00:34:19,799 Speaker 1: us bad. Education system bad, you know, because it just 604 00:34:19,880 --> 00:34:23,560 Speaker 1: looks at that particular answer, and it doesn't look at 605 00:34:23,600 --> 00:34:27,640 Speaker 1: the sequence of discovering truth. And that's that's a that's 606 00:34:27,680 --> 00:34:31,040 Speaker 1: a problem. It's a it's a problem. But I found 607 00:34:31,040 --> 00:34:34,160 Speaker 1: in people that it's not a problem that they can't 608 00:34:34,160 --> 00:34:38,640 Speaker 1: get over. Um, I've found that we have this culture 609 00:34:38,880 --> 00:34:42,239 Speaker 1: in which that's the culture, right, it becomes obvious if 610 00:34:42,239 --> 00:34:45,440 Speaker 1: you're not doing it. Yes, And when you have in 611 00:34:45,520 --> 00:34:50,040 Speaker 1: an environment like that, then people's behaviors changed pretty quickly. Yeah, 612 00:34:50,239 --> 00:34:52,680 Speaker 1: I would say, and I don't know how many months 613 00:34:52,680 --> 00:34:56,799 Speaker 1: it'll vary, but maybe eighteen months or side that they 614 00:34:56,840 --> 00:35:00,440 Speaker 1: would be curious, what are they what might they be missing? 615 00:35:00,960 --> 00:35:04,000 Speaker 1: And they understand that it almost is so silly to 616 00:35:04,120 --> 00:35:09,120 Speaker 1: be a blocker of ideas and to be antagonistic when 617 00:35:09,120 --> 00:35:12,239 Speaker 1: there's a different point of view, it's really stupid to 618 00:35:12,360 --> 00:35:15,520 Speaker 1: do that. And when they start to see themselves doing 619 00:35:15,520 --> 00:35:19,200 Speaker 1: that and asking why are they doing that? That reflection 620 00:35:19,680 --> 00:35:26,239 Speaker 1: and then changing behavior then produces change behavior that produces rewards, 621 00:35:26,320 --> 00:35:30,320 Speaker 1: better decisions and better relationships. When you have better decisions 622 00:35:30,320 --> 00:35:32,800 Speaker 1: and better relationships, you have a better life. Yeah, and 623 00:35:32,920 --> 00:35:35,239 Speaker 1: it does take time. And you said eighteen months there. 624 00:35:35,280 --> 00:35:37,200 Speaker 1: I think I was talking to my team before we 625 00:35:37,920 --> 00:35:39,600 Speaker 1: kicked off, and I was just saying that I feel 626 00:35:39,600 --> 00:35:42,479 Speaker 1: like we finally in my company have a culture where 627 00:35:43,000 --> 00:35:48,759 Speaker 1: everyone is so self reflective and self focused on what 628 00:35:48,800 --> 00:35:51,879 Speaker 1: they can improve and how they can be better. That 629 00:35:52,000 --> 00:35:55,759 Speaker 1: it makes it easier to have conversations where there's disagreement 630 00:35:55,880 --> 00:35:59,520 Speaker 1: and debate and a difference of opinion because everyone is 631 00:35:59,560 --> 00:36:02,560 Speaker 1: reflecting on themselves. They're not coming into something going no, 632 00:36:02,680 --> 00:36:04,359 Speaker 1: my idea is the best and we're getting it wrong. 633 00:36:04,719 --> 00:36:06,640 Speaker 1: But I think that takes a certain kind of person 634 00:36:06,719 --> 00:36:09,160 Speaker 1: and human who who has that ability to do that 635 00:36:09,200 --> 00:36:13,120 Speaker 1: while not losing their self esteem? Yes, but that that 636 00:36:13,160 --> 00:36:18,319 Speaker 1: can be trained. Okay, here's the way it works. There 637 00:36:18,480 --> 00:36:23,279 Speaker 1: is an intellectual, analytical part of our brains, logical and 638 00:36:23,280 --> 00:36:27,000 Speaker 1: so on, and then there's this subliminal which means we 639 00:36:27,040 --> 00:36:30,680 Speaker 1: don't even know what it's thinking, emotional part of our 640 00:36:30,719 --> 00:36:34,080 Speaker 1: brains that is operating. That if you speak with somebody 641 00:36:34,480 --> 00:36:37,600 Speaker 1: and you have you put them in the position of 642 00:36:37,719 --> 00:36:40,919 Speaker 1: saying would you like this or would you not like it? 643 00:36:41,400 --> 00:36:44,400 Speaker 1: And you they start to experience the two users I 644 00:36:44,520 --> 00:36:47,640 Speaker 1: call it. Then they start to see that they may 645 00:36:47,680 --> 00:36:51,120 Speaker 1: not make they may make a different choice. For example, 646 00:36:51,800 --> 00:36:56,960 Speaker 1: if I say, Jay, I have these thoughts about what 647 00:36:57,000 --> 00:37:00,800 Speaker 1: you're not doing, well, would you lie me to discuss 648 00:37:00,840 --> 00:37:03,560 Speaker 1: it with you? Or would you not like me to 649 00:37:03,600 --> 00:37:06,640 Speaker 1: discuss it with you, or I think you have I 650 00:37:06,680 --> 00:37:10,680 Speaker 1: don't know. It could be even a fatal flaw. By 651 00:37:10,680 --> 00:37:14,279 Speaker 1: the way, fatal flaws are not fatal because you may 652 00:37:14,320 --> 00:37:17,439 Speaker 1: not be able to change yourself, but you can work 653 00:37:17,480 --> 00:37:20,200 Speaker 1: with people who are strong where you're weak to be 654 00:37:20,280 --> 00:37:23,560 Speaker 1: able to be successful. Yes, but when you ask that 655 00:37:24,239 --> 00:37:27,520 Speaker 1: and those things that they find a barrier, it's quite 656 00:37:27,560 --> 00:37:32,960 Speaker 1: often the case that intellectually they understand it. Yes, Obviously 657 00:37:33,040 --> 00:37:36,520 Speaker 1: it's desirable for you to tell me maybe things I 658 00:37:36,560 --> 00:37:41,960 Speaker 1: don't want to hear, Okay, but I know that of course. 659 00:37:42,719 --> 00:37:44,600 Speaker 1: First of all, I want to know that you're hearing 660 00:37:44,600 --> 00:37:48,520 Speaker 1: those things, and secondly, maybe they're true. And so that 661 00:37:48,760 --> 00:37:55,040 Speaker 1: exercise of speaking where the intellectual and the subliminal are 662 00:37:55,080 --> 00:37:59,480 Speaker 1: at odds and they see that it's at odds, and 663 00:37:59,520 --> 00:38:03,239 Speaker 1: then they've begin to pursue a way of being, is 664 00:38:03,239 --> 00:38:06,879 Speaker 1: a training process that can help them to say I 665 00:38:06,920 --> 00:38:10,120 Speaker 1: want that. Yes. Yes, It's almost like the debate that 666 00:38:10,160 --> 00:38:14,080 Speaker 1: we're seeing externally is actually debate going on internally between 667 00:38:14,120 --> 00:38:17,040 Speaker 1: them already. Yes, if that is it. Yes. The biggest 668 00:38:17,040 --> 00:38:21,239 Speaker 1: debates we have is that debate the emotionalists with the 669 00:38:21,280 --> 00:38:25,120 Speaker 1: intellectual us and the path really to success, in my opinion, 670 00:38:26,000 --> 00:38:28,799 Speaker 1: is to be able to align those Okay, what am 671 00:38:28,840 --> 00:38:33,400 Speaker 1: I feeling, and then to reflect intellectually is that the 672 00:38:33,520 --> 00:38:36,320 Speaker 1: right thing? If I'm going to I don't know, punch 673 00:38:36,400 --> 00:38:39,120 Speaker 1: the person, or if I'm going to maybe eat what 674 00:38:39,239 --> 00:38:42,560 Speaker 1: I shouldn't eat or something, And then intellectually I can 675 00:38:42,600 --> 00:38:48,319 Speaker 1: have the reconciliation between that emotional and that intellectual to 676 00:38:48,400 --> 00:38:51,239 Speaker 1: make the decision and I get alignment. And by the way, 677 00:38:51,280 --> 00:38:54,759 Speaker 1: I find meditation helps a lot, I can get alignment, 678 00:38:55,239 --> 00:38:58,200 Speaker 1: and then I can take that view that I have 679 00:38:58,719 --> 00:39:02,799 Speaker 1: and then triangular aid it with others. The probability of 680 00:39:02,840 --> 00:39:07,400 Speaker 1: me making a much better decision has increased immensely, And 681 00:39:07,440 --> 00:39:10,239 Speaker 1: it's an all success in life is is making the 682 00:39:10,320 --> 00:39:15,920 Speaker 1: better decisions. Absolutely, yeah, absolutely, you It's it's really interesting 683 00:39:15,920 --> 00:39:17,839 Speaker 1: the path that we've gone down. And I love it 684 00:39:18,080 --> 00:39:20,279 Speaker 1: when you said jazz, It's like, it's definitely been like 685 00:39:20,320 --> 00:39:22,600 Speaker 1: that because we've gone down a completely different direction, which 686 00:39:22,640 --> 00:39:25,040 Speaker 1: which I love. But you you said something he was like, 687 00:39:25,080 --> 00:39:26,719 Speaker 1: you know, this is one of the biggest challenges in 688 00:39:26,760 --> 00:39:29,080 Speaker 1: society today. What are some of the challenges you see 689 00:39:29,080 --> 00:39:32,000 Speaker 1: in society that we should be addressing at the core 690 00:39:32,120 --> 00:39:35,279 Speaker 1: Because This isn't just going into like the current events, 691 00:39:35,480 --> 00:39:39,040 Speaker 1: it's really looking at root challenges that we Yeah, I've 692 00:39:39,080 --> 00:39:43,400 Speaker 1: been in global macro investor for about over fifty years, 693 00:39:43,880 --> 00:39:45,520 Speaker 1: and one of the things that I learned in my 694 00:39:45,560 --> 00:39:48,040 Speaker 1: life is that many of the things that surprised me 695 00:39:48,719 --> 00:39:51,600 Speaker 1: just hadn't happened to me before, but they happened many 696 00:39:51,640 --> 00:39:57,120 Speaker 1: times in history. So by studying history I could then 697 00:39:57,239 --> 00:40:00,440 Speaker 1: do well. So, for example, studying the Great Depression allowed 698 00:40:00,480 --> 00:40:02,200 Speaker 1: me to do very well in the two thousand and 699 00:40:02,200 --> 00:40:06,200 Speaker 1: eight financial crisis. What's happening now is allowing me to 700 00:40:06,239 --> 00:40:09,160 Speaker 1: do very well when others are having problems because of 701 00:40:09,480 --> 00:40:13,040 Speaker 1: things that are happening past the three big things, and 702 00:40:13,120 --> 00:40:15,319 Speaker 1: there are a couple more too, But the three big 703 00:40:15,360 --> 00:40:19,520 Speaker 1: things that are happening to us is first the financial 704 00:40:19,760 --> 00:40:22,880 Speaker 1: that's happening at a macro level, which is the creation 705 00:40:22,960 --> 00:40:25,680 Speaker 1: of a lot of debt and the printing of a 706 00:40:25,719 --> 00:40:30,239 Speaker 1: lot of money to pay for that debt so you 707 00:40:30,239 --> 00:40:32,200 Speaker 1: don't pay it back with hard dollars and so on. 708 00:40:32,560 --> 00:40:34,960 Speaker 1: That's putting a lot of money out there, and that's 709 00:40:35,040 --> 00:40:40,040 Speaker 1: producing the stagflation that we have, and the magnitudes of 710 00:40:40,080 --> 00:40:43,239 Speaker 1: that are unprecedented. You have to go back to the 711 00:40:43,320 --> 00:40:46,839 Speaker 1: nineteen thirties to see something like that. And so the 712 00:40:46,960 --> 00:40:50,239 Speaker 1: value of money and what you do with money and 713 00:40:50,360 --> 00:40:56,680 Speaker 1: its economic impact affects everybody. The second big influence is 714 00:40:56,719 --> 00:41:00,799 Speaker 1: the amount of internal conflict that is existing because of 715 00:41:00,920 --> 00:41:04,319 Speaker 1: larger large wealth gaps, the largest wealth gaps since the 716 00:41:04,400 --> 00:41:10,240 Speaker 1: nineteen thirties, the largest values gaps. And then this intransigent 717 00:41:10,600 --> 00:41:13,920 Speaker 1: win at all cost type of mentality which is reflected 718 00:41:13,920 --> 00:41:18,400 Speaker 1: in populism. In other words, a populist is a political 719 00:41:18,640 --> 00:41:22,080 Speaker 1: representative who says I will fight for you and win 720 00:41:22,160 --> 00:41:26,239 Speaker 1: at all cost, and that means not compromising. And that 721 00:41:26,400 --> 00:41:29,240 Speaker 1: win at all cost is why you see the January 722 00:41:29,360 --> 00:41:32,520 Speaker 1: sixth incidents and things like that. We may be in 723 00:41:32,560 --> 00:41:36,480 Speaker 1: a position where neither side in the next presidential election 724 00:41:36,680 --> 00:41:42,120 Speaker 1: accepts losing in the next presidential election. That conflict produces 725 00:41:42,160 --> 00:41:47,279 Speaker 1: the most irreconcilable differences and people who are in that mindset, 726 00:41:47,480 --> 00:41:51,920 Speaker 1: and that is what causes civil wars. Types of civil wars. 727 00:41:52,360 --> 00:41:56,760 Speaker 1: You can easily imagine that the central government might give 728 00:41:57,360 --> 00:42:00,239 Speaker 1: directions to the local government or people and they say, 729 00:42:00,280 --> 00:42:02,439 Speaker 1: I'm not going to follow that law. You might see 730 00:42:02,480 --> 00:42:05,439 Speaker 1: the Supreme Court, you may not find that. And that's 731 00:42:05,480 --> 00:42:09,080 Speaker 1: a world problem right now. So that second problem is 732 00:42:09,160 --> 00:42:11,880 Speaker 1: a problem. It's particularly a problem when you have the 733 00:42:11,880 --> 00:42:15,919 Speaker 1: first problem, because the first problem produces financial problems, which 734 00:42:15,960 --> 00:42:20,319 Speaker 1: produces stress and antagonism and says, this wealth gap or 735 00:42:20,360 --> 00:42:23,239 Speaker 1: whatever values gap, I'm going to fight for. You have 736 00:42:23,280 --> 00:42:26,719 Speaker 1: the second that's dangerous. And the third is the rise 737 00:42:26,760 --> 00:42:30,600 Speaker 1: of powers. Of the United States is no longer the 738 00:42:30,920 --> 00:42:33,600 Speaker 1: dominant power. In other words, if you look at the 739 00:42:33,600 --> 00:42:38,160 Speaker 1: percentage share of world GDP or military superiority in those 740 00:42:38,160 --> 00:42:42,080 Speaker 1: types of things, and so you have these rising powers 741 00:42:42,440 --> 00:42:46,200 Speaker 1: and the United States, and so you have bigger powers 742 00:42:46,320 --> 00:42:49,520 Speaker 1: in bigger conflicts. We see it obviously with Russia today, 743 00:42:49,560 --> 00:42:51,799 Speaker 1: but we see it with China and so on, and 744 00:42:51,840 --> 00:42:56,359 Speaker 1: so the whole geographic world order is changing. All of 745 00:42:56,400 --> 00:43:01,320 Speaker 1: these things make for greater conflict, right The financial conflict, 746 00:43:01,360 --> 00:43:04,919 Speaker 1: the financial pain. How do I deal with inflation? Where 747 00:43:04,920 --> 00:43:07,120 Speaker 1: should I keep my money? It's not the same, How 748 00:43:07,120 --> 00:43:10,640 Speaker 1: do I deal with that? Together with the internal conflict? 749 00:43:10,680 --> 00:43:15,360 Speaker 1: And that external conflict produces a very stressful and risky 750 00:43:15,560 --> 00:43:19,000 Speaker 1: period for the world. We are in a risky period 751 00:43:19,320 --> 00:43:22,879 Speaker 1: in the world. And so that those are from the 752 00:43:22,920 --> 00:43:28,040 Speaker 1: macro their perspective. The biggest influences I studied. When I 753 00:43:28,040 --> 00:43:30,480 Speaker 1: studied this, I studied the last five hundred years of 754 00:43:30,520 --> 00:43:34,560 Speaker 1: history and to see the arcs, because the arcs typically 755 00:43:34,600 --> 00:43:36,600 Speaker 1: take one hundred or one hundred and fifty years to 756 00:43:36,680 --> 00:43:39,120 Speaker 1: have an arc, a big cycle, and so I needed 757 00:43:39,160 --> 00:43:40,960 Speaker 1: to study the five hundred years and I put it 758 00:43:40,960 --> 00:43:44,080 Speaker 1: out in a book, Changing World Order, and there's also 759 00:43:44,120 --> 00:43:48,520 Speaker 1: a video free video online. Twenty four million people see that. 760 00:43:48,920 --> 00:43:52,000 Speaker 1: It's easy to see because I wanted to convey the message, 761 00:43:52,320 --> 00:43:58,000 Speaker 1: and you see those arcs repeating overtime for certain reasons. 762 00:43:58,080 --> 00:44:01,880 Speaker 1: I think it's very important that people understand those arcs. 763 00:44:01,920 --> 00:44:05,239 Speaker 1: And then again with the equanimity and the other things 764 00:44:05,239 --> 00:44:08,440 Speaker 1: that we're talking about, approach that set of circumstances. So 765 00:44:08,520 --> 00:44:11,680 Speaker 1: that's the mix of circumstances that I would say creates 766 00:44:11,719 --> 00:44:14,719 Speaker 1: the environment that we're in. And the key to any 767 00:44:14,840 --> 00:44:18,759 Speaker 1: environment is to know how to navigate it well. So 768 00:44:18,800 --> 00:44:22,080 Speaker 1: in that book, I wrote different principles of how do 769 00:44:22,120 --> 00:44:25,360 Speaker 1: you deal with that kind of an environment. I'm not 770 00:44:25,440 --> 00:44:29,120 Speaker 1: saying that environment. There's nothing sure in what I'm saying, yeah, okay, 771 00:44:29,400 --> 00:44:32,800 Speaker 1: but it does come back to some basics and those 772 00:44:32,840 --> 00:44:36,680 Speaker 1: basics means are how are people with each other? How 773 00:44:36,719 --> 00:44:38,920 Speaker 1: am I going to be with you? Can we have 774 00:44:39,040 --> 00:44:42,560 Speaker 1: thoughtful disagreement, Can we have compromised Can we have a 775 00:44:42,600 --> 00:44:46,080 Speaker 1: country in which we are more together that more and 776 00:44:46,280 --> 00:44:50,680 Speaker 1: fight and to understand how that choice together figuring it 777 00:44:50,680 --> 00:44:52,319 Speaker 1: out is going to be a whole lot better than 778 00:44:52,360 --> 00:44:54,239 Speaker 1: fighting with each other. Yeah, And I think that's the 779 00:44:54,320 --> 00:44:58,240 Speaker 1: challenge we're seeing, is this massive disparity between the challenge 780 00:44:58,239 --> 00:45:01,640 Speaker 1: getting more and more extreme and our skills still being 781 00:45:01,640 --> 00:45:03,960 Speaker 1: at the same level. Like that ability to have that 782 00:45:04,040 --> 00:45:07,600 Speaker 1: conversation or that debate or that disagreement, the skill level 783 00:45:07,680 --> 00:45:11,799 Speaker 1: we have is so low, that's right. And you see 784 00:45:11,880 --> 00:45:15,360 Speaker 1: by studying the French Revolution, in the Chinese Revolution, the 785 00:45:15,400 --> 00:45:18,560 Speaker 1: Russian Revolution, all of these Cuban revolutions and so on, 786 00:45:19,280 --> 00:45:25,000 Speaker 1: when it starts to intensify, you get past the point 787 00:45:25,040 --> 00:45:28,200 Speaker 1: of listening to each other, and then you go into 788 00:45:28,239 --> 00:45:32,440 Speaker 1: the fighting mode, and that's a cycle. So like in 789 00:45:32,520 --> 00:45:34,960 Speaker 1: the French Revolution, there were many in the middle who 790 00:45:34,960 --> 00:45:38,240 Speaker 1: said this system is not working and for both sides, 791 00:45:38,320 --> 00:45:41,640 Speaker 1: and there should be a reformation in making move But 792 00:45:41,680 --> 00:45:44,919 Speaker 1: if you were in the middle, you were guillotined or 793 00:45:45,760 --> 00:45:49,000 Speaker 1: anyone in the middle. You have to pick a side 794 00:45:49,000 --> 00:45:52,879 Speaker 1: and fight. And that's the nature of that dynamic. It's 795 00:45:52,960 --> 00:45:56,560 Speaker 1: all within us because if you take any measure of 796 00:45:56,600 --> 00:46:00,600 Speaker 1: living standards, the world, the world has more wealth and 797 00:46:00,719 --> 00:46:05,040 Speaker 1: it ever has. It can greater longevity because there's greater science. 798 00:46:05,239 --> 00:46:08,719 Speaker 1: So what we have and totality, the world has more 799 00:46:09,120 --> 00:46:13,360 Speaker 1: than it has ever had. Right, So our opportunity is 800 00:46:13,400 --> 00:46:16,880 Speaker 1: great if we could just work it out right. But 801 00:46:17,000 --> 00:46:19,919 Speaker 1: we can destroy each other. We can hurt each other 802 00:46:20,120 --> 00:46:23,600 Speaker 1: very badly because of human nature. And it's the same 803 00:46:23,719 --> 00:46:27,520 Speaker 1: human nature that existed through time. There are lessons just 804 00:46:27,840 --> 00:46:30,759 Speaker 1: don't do this. Yeah, I mean when you say that, 805 00:46:30,960 --> 00:46:34,359 Speaker 1: I start thinking of when you're studying history and you're 806 00:46:34,400 --> 00:46:36,600 Speaker 1: studying those five hundred years And I'm going to ask 807 00:46:36,600 --> 00:46:38,600 Speaker 1: you this in a second, but there's an example that 808 00:46:38,680 --> 00:46:40,879 Speaker 1: came to my mind. I was thinking about, like, where 809 00:46:41,239 --> 00:46:44,000 Speaker 1: did someone get it right or where is their progress 810 00:46:44,040 --> 00:46:47,239 Speaker 1: as well in history? And I recently got to visit 811 00:46:47,360 --> 00:46:51,360 Speaker 1: Rwanda and I would never thought I would have visited, 812 00:46:51,520 --> 00:46:53,960 Speaker 1: and it wasn't part of my plans. I went because 813 00:46:55,360 --> 00:46:58,040 Speaker 1: one of my friends opened up a conservation center for 814 00:46:58,080 --> 00:47:01,239 Speaker 1: the environment and for gorillas, and it's beautiful space out there. 815 00:47:01,880 --> 00:47:04,600 Speaker 1: So I went there and we got to trek with 816 00:47:04,640 --> 00:47:07,200 Speaker 1: the gorillas every day and walk with them, and it's 817 00:47:07,239 --> 00:47:09,200 Speaker 1: it's a really beautiful thing because you're walking with them 818 00:47:09,200 --> 00:47:11,720 Speaker 1: in the wild. They're not you know, kept in a 819 00:47:11,840 --> 00:47:13,759 Speaker 1: zoo or anywhere like that. They're in their home and 820 00:47:13,800 --> 00:47:15,399 Speaker 1: you get to go and observe them in their home. 821 00:47:15,440 --> 00:47:19,319 Speaker 1: But but more importantly, I went to the memorial, the 822 00:47:19,400 --> 00:47:22,839 Speaker 1: genocide memorial museum there and the genocide was just twenty 823 00:47:22,920 --> 00:47:26,040 Speaker 1: years ago, and you learn about the two tribes that 824 00:47:26,400 --> 00:47:29,360 Speaker 1: you know completely. I think one million people died in 825 00:47:29,400 --> 00:47:32,640 Speaker 1: the genocide out of the ten million population that the 826 00:47:32,680 --> 00:47:36,520 Speaker 1: country has. So it's huge, right like, And what I 827 00:47:36,560 --> 00:47:38,600 Speaker 1: was blown away by was I met with some of 828 00:47:38,600 --> 00:47:40,560 Speaker 1: the survivors and I sat with them because I was 829 00:47:40,600 --> 00:47:44,480 Speaker 1: just curious and intrigued because everyone there now is let 830 00:47:44,560 --> 00:47:47,360 Speaker 1: go of the names of the tribes. They've let go of, 831 00:47:47,880 --> 00:47:50,840 Speaker 1: you know, the heritage almost from their parents. Most of 832 00:47:50,840 --> 00:47:54,440 Speaker 1: these people's parents would have killed each other. Like it's 833 00:47:54,480 --> 00:47:57,560 Speaker 1: a it's a very like violent environment, but there's such 834 00:47:57,600 --> 00:48:00,719 Speaker 1: a healing, there's such a forgiveness, there's such a path 835 00:48:00,760 --> 00:48:03,360 Speaker 1: to letting go down. Of course, there's other challenges that 836 00:48:03,400 --> 00:48:05,080 Speaker 1: are going on in the country and the poverty, etc. 837 00:48:05,400 --> 00:48:11,160 Speaker 1: But the leadership has spearheaded this journey towards collective conscience 838 00:48:11,160 --> 00:48:14,480 Speaker 1: and like bringing people together and recognizing that we're more 839 00:48:14,520 --> 00:48:17,640 Speaker 1: alike than we are different. And I was just astounded 840 00:48:17,680 --> 00:48:20,279 Speaker 1: at how a country twenty years ago in that much 841 00:48:20,280 --> 00:48:25,320 Speaker 1: turmoil is rising from that. Did you find any examples 842 00:48:25,320 --> 00:48:29,439 Speaker 1: in history where people did have positive mediation. Well, what 843 00:48:29,480 --> 00:48:32,880 Speaker 1: you're describing is the typical cycle. So I'm just going 844 00:48:32,920 --> 00:48:36,760 Speaker 1: to make clear the typical cycle is. The typical cycle 845 00:48:37,160 --> 00:48:40,480 Speaker 1: is that you have a war, a civil war or 846 00:48:41,120 --> 00:48:44,600 Speaker 1: an international war, that you have a fight for power, 847 00:48:45,560 --> 00:48:51,800 Speaker 1: and then you have a horrendous experience, Okay, and then 848 00:48:51,960 --> 00:48:56,480 Speaker 1: out of that comes a new water, comes a new system. 849 00:48:56,560 --> 00:49:03,960 Speaker 1: Somebody is dominant. Spanish war is brothers fighting each other 850 00:49:04,040 --> 00:49:08,640 Speaker 1: and so on, how horrendous experience, and then some force 851 00:49:09,120 --> 00:49:14,520 Speaker 1: gains the power wins and it becomes such a horrendous experience. 852 00:49:14,560 --> 00:49:17,719 Speaker 1: The French Civil War, all of these civil wars, they 853 00:49:17,760 --> 00:49:23,720 Speaker 1: become such a horrendous experience that nobody wants it again, 854 00:49:24,960 --> 00:49:30,280 Speaker 1: and so the pendulum swings so that you then don't 855 00:49:30,320 --> 00:49:35,440 Speaker 1: have a war. So for example, my father and that 856 00:49:35,600 --> 00:49:40,040 Speaker 1: generation fought in a war. Okay, in the beginning parts 857 00:49:40,040 --> 00:49:44,120 Speaker 1: of these wars, they're into the war, you know, they're 858 00:49:44,160 --> 00:49:46,160 Speaker 1: brave and they're going to go there. And then the 859 00:49:46,200 --> 00:49:50,439 Speaker 1: war is so horrendous and it goes on so long, 860 00:49:50,560 --> 00:49:53,560 Speaker 1: and by the way, it's a great equalizer. They destroy wealth, 861 00:49:53,600 --> 00:49:56,960 Speaker 1: so wealth equality then becomes greater, and they go into 862 00:49:57,000 --> 00:50:01,399 Speaker 1: that environment and then it just it ends. And then 863 00:50:01,440 --> 00:50:03,799 Speaker 1: when it ends, there's so much hurting and so much 864 00:50:03,920 --> 00:50:06,680 Speaker 1: not wanting war that you come to a period of 865 00:50:06,719 --> 00:50:11,280 Speaker 1: peace and prosperity. And the cycle goes for peace and prosperity, 866 00:50:11,520 --> 00:50:15,319 Speaker 1: and then a new generation comes along, okay, who has 867 00:50:15,400 --> 00:50:20,800 Speaker 1: not experienced the war, and then comes into that and says, 868 00:50:21,400 --> 00:50:24,439 Speaker 1: we will fight and so on, like our generation has 869 00:50:24,520 --> 00:50:29,680 Speaker 1: not experienced those things. And yet they're intransigent in terms 870 00:50:29,680 --> 00:50:33,520 Speaker 1: of those fights, and they so many people could say, hell, yes, 871 00:50:33,640 --> 00:50:37,280 Speaker 1: I'm going to fight, and then you go through that cycle. 872 00:50:37,560 --> 00:50:41,080 Speaker 1: So that's how the cycle normally works. How do we 873 00:50:41,200 --> 00:50:46,600 Speaker 1: then make sure that people understand the ramifications and consequences. 874 00:50:47,040 --> 00:50:49,920 Speaker 1: I think that's when I put out the book, because 875 00:50:50,320 --> 00:50:53,200 Speaker 1: I want people to worry about this. I have a principle. 876 00:50:53,320 --> 00:50:55,600 Speaker 1: If you worry, you don't have to worry, and if 877 00:50:55,640 --> 00:51:01,080 Speaker 1: you don't worry, you need to worry. Okay. If you worry, 878 00:51:01,200 --> 00:51:05,000 Speaker 1: then you will take care not to do the thing 879 00:51:05,080 --> 00:51:09,640 Speaker 1: you're worrying about. If you don't worry about it, you're 880 00:51:09,680 --> 00:51:12,879 Speaker 1: probably going to do it. Okay. So when I look 881 00:51:12,920 --> 00:51:16,120 Speaker 1: at the set of circumstances, I believe that we as 882 00:51:16,160 --> 00:51:20,400 Speaker 1: a society are at a juncture. We recognize it this 883 00:51:20,520 --> 00:51:24,560 Speaker 1: conflict or can we have win win relationships? Can we compromise, 884 00:51:24,640 --> 00:51:27,400 Speaker 1: can we have this together? Can we work well together? 885 00:51:27,719 --> 00:51:31,440 Speaker 1: Or not? Okay, we're at that. I think by seeing 886 00:51:31,480 --> 00:51:36,800 Speaker 1: those alternatives and having a middle, you know, I pray 887 00:51:36,880 --> 00:51:42,600 Speaker 1: for a strong middle. I pray for avoiding the extremes 888 00:51:42,640 --> 00:51:46,120 Speaker 1: and the fighting between those extremes. And maybe if that's 889 00:51:46,160 --> 00:51:48,919 Speaker 1: the case, then we will get it. And it's hard 890 00:51:48,960 --> 00:51:51,399 Speaker 1: when the system has been set up for the extremes, right, 891 00:51:51,440 --> 00:51:54,760 Speaker 1: Like it's difficult when I think it's more human nature 892 00:51:54,800 --> 00:51:58,200 Speaker 1: than the system. Like, Okay, we've had this democratic system 893 00:51:58,960 --> 00:52:01,480 Speaker 1: over through a period, but we have one civil war 894 00:52:02,160 --> 00:52:04,880 Speaker 1: and we've had others. How are we going to be? 895 00:52:05,000 --> 00:52:07,800 Speaker 1: Democracy worked very very well for a lot of times 896 00:52:08,080 --> 00:52:10,120 Speaker 1: in a variety of ways, and I don't have to 897 00:52:10,160 --> 00:52:14,040 Speaker 1: recount them. But at the same time, the history of 898 00:52:14,080 --> 00:52:18,120 Speaker 1: democracy and cycles, Plato in his book The Republic tells 899 00:52:18,160 --> 00:52:21,280 Speaker 1: about these cycles over and over again. And the real 900 00:52:21,360 --> 00:52:25,960 Speaker 1: risk to democracy is anarchy because you can't have strong 901 00:52:26,120 --> 00:52:29,880 Speaker 1: leadership because everybody's fighting over everything, and it produces a chaos, 902 00:52:30,360 --> 00:52:33,759 Speaker 1: and that chaos becomes intolerable, and everybody wants to fight, 903 00:52:34,120 --> 00:52:37,120 Speaker 1: and then you have the fight. So I think it's 904 00:52:37,160 --> 00:52:41,080 Speaker 1: more human nature than a system. Yeah, human nature just 905 00:52:41,800 --> 00:52:45,799 Speaker 1: goes in that direction regardless. It's also like people who 906 00:52:45,840 --> 00:52:50,000 Speaker 1: went who didn't have anything and are broken or in 907 00:52:50,040 --> 00:52:55,480 Speaker 1: the worst possible positions, and a society like that, and 908 00:52:55,520 --> 00:52:58,920 Speaker 1: then they come out and then they work well together, 909 00:52:59,040 --> 00:53:02,920 Speaker 1: they make things, and then they can become decadent. The 910 00:53:03,040 --> 00:53:08,200 Speaker 1: society can become decadent. I think our society is decadent now. 911 00:53:08,360 --> 00:53:12,160 Speaker 1: I think it's got a problem in that the lower 912 00:53:12,239 --> 00:53:17,400 Speaker 1: levels of society intimate contact through my wife, particularly who 913 00:53:17,520 --> 00:53:21,560 Speaker 1: is helping the what it's called disengage in disconnected population 914 00:53:21,960 --> 00:53:25,200 Speaker 1: of high school students in Connecticut. Those are students who 915 00:53:25,640 --> 00:53:29,680 Speaker 1: disconnected means they're no longer in school, out they don't 916 00:53:29,680 --> 00:53:33,840 Speaker 1: know where they are and engage means that they have 917 00:53:33,920 --> 00:53:36,239 Speaker 1: an absentee rate of greater than twenty five percent. They're 918 00:53:36,239 --> 00:53:39,760 Speaker 1: failing classes. Twenty two percent of the high school students 919 00:53:39,960 --> 00:53:43,360 Speaker 1: in Connecticut are one of those one out of five. 920 00:53:43,480 --> 00:53:47,400 Speaker 1: Education isn't working, they're living in poverty. We have created 921 00:53:47,440 --> 00:53:53,239 Speaker 1: a self reinforcing cycle that children have. We didn't create 922 00:53:53,320 --> 00:53:59,960 Speaker 1: an acceptable bottom. You create a situation where children gone 923 00:54:00,480 --> 00:54:04,880 Speaker 1: in gangs, and children can't walk to school safely. Shootings 924 00:54:04,960 --> 00:54:08,840 Speaker 1: regularly in Hartford, Connecticut, Ridgeport, Connecticut just right up the 925 00:54:08,920 --> 00:54:13,080 Speaker 1: road from US. Okay, exists pockets throughout this and an 926 00:54:13,239 --> 00:54:17,360 Speaker 1: equal opportunity. We do not have equal opportunity. And to 927 00:54:17,560 --> 00:54:22,600 Speaker 1: simultaneously have a situation in which we are not taking 928 00:54:22,640 --> 00:54:27,080 Speaker 1: care of the basics, but we are really over you know, 929 00:54:27,160 --> 00:54:30,719 Speaker 1: doing the luxuries is creating a set of circumstances. That's 930 00:54:30,760 --> 00:54:35,640 Speaker 1: a problem, I think, And so I think that's how 931 00:54:35,760 --> 00:54:39,239 Speaker 1: man is with each other. So it's a cycle. If 932 00:54:39,280 --> 00:54:42,360 Speaker 1: you get spoiled like this is the thing I worry about. 933 00:54:43,120 --> 00:54:45,799 Speaker 1: You know, our family doesn't make sure our family doesn't 934 00:54:45,840 --> 00:54:48,960 Speaker 1: get spoiled and the kids don't get spoiled because what 935 00:54:49,120 --> 00:54:56,080 Speaker 1: happens is then they're not strong. That's a cycle. Yeah, 936 00:54:56,560 --> 00:55:00,720 Speaker 1: you know, it's like three generations, the classic three generation cycle. 937 00:55:01,040 --> 00:55:03,200 Speaker 1: You know, somebody works hard and they make it, they 938 00:55:03,200 --> 00:55:06,240 Speaker 1: have those sound values. Then what happens is then they 939 00:55:06,280 --> 00:55:09,280 Speaker 1: inherited it, and then they are in a position where 940 00:55:09,719 --> 00:55:11,840 Speaker 1: you know, they don't have the same and they're spoiled. 941 00:55:11,880 --> 00:55:14,239 Speaker 1: And there they say, I don't have to work as hard, 942 00:55:14,480 --> 00:55:17,120 Speaker 1: I'm living off of what I've got, and why don't 943 00:55:17,120 --> 00:55:20,160 Speaker 1: I enjoy life and so on, and then while people 944 00:55:20,200 --> 00:55:23,520 Speaker 1: around them maybe are suffering, And you know, but I 945 00:55:23,600 --> 00:55:28,200 Speaker 1: see it. I live in British Connecticut. It's Bridgeport, Connecticut. 946 00:55:28,200 --> 00:55:30,560 Speaker 1: People just don't have contact. They don't see it. And 947 00:55:30,600 --> 00:55:34,520 Speaker 1: so there are these cycles that happen, many of them. 948 00:55:34,880 --> 00:55:38,480 Speaker 1: They coincide the cycle that I'm talking about about attitude, 949 00:55:38,520 --> 00:55:41,680 Speaker 1: about protecting and how do we make a good society. 950 00:55:41,760 --> 00:55:44,239 Speaker 1: For the most thing, let's say the basic idea that 951 00:55:44,320 --> 00:55:47,359 Speaker 1: we should strive for equal opportunity. Yes, I mean that's 952 00:55:47,360 --> 00:55:51,840 Speaker 1: a fundamental thing, equal opportunity, right, but that doesn't become 953 00:55:51,880 --> 00:55:58,200 Speaker 1: the banner that either is pursuing. So these cycles of conflict, 954 00:55:58,560 --> 00:56:02,560 Speaker 1: wealth gaps, and all of those things exist. Yeah, it 955 00:56:02,640 --> 00:56:06,120 Speaker 1: seems like to me when I hear that, it perpetuates 956 00:56:06,120 --> 00:56:09,680 Speaker 1: and the cycle continues because it seems that not enough 957 00:56:09,719 --> 00:56:16,319 Speaker 1: people have experienced exactly right, the cycle lasts longer than 958 00:56:16,360 --> 00:56:20,560 Speaker 1: a lifetime, so you're only going to experience that piece 959 00:56:20,600 --> 00:56:26,480 Speaker 1: of the cycle in your lifetime. Right, Wars, depressions, Okay, 960 00:56:26,480 --> 00:56:28,840 Speaker 1: they happened throughout history. Are we not going to go 961 00:56:28,880 --> 00:56:31,040 Speaker 1: into a war again? Are we not going to have 962 00:56:31,040 --> 00:56:33,680 Speaker 1: another depression? That's of course, at some point, we're going 963 00:56:33,719 --> 00:56:37,960 Speaker 1: to have those things. Okay, But we were lucky. Nineteen 964 00:56:38,080 --> 00:56:40,640 Speaker 1: forty five was the end of the last war. We 965 00:56:40,800 --> 00:56:44,000 Speaker 1: began a new era. We had the cycle in which 966 00:56:44,080 --> 00:56:48,320 Speaker 1: things got better and better and there was equality better equality. 967 00:56:48,400 --> 00:56:50,960 Speaker 1: I know the world I was born into. I was lucky. 968 00:56:51,160 --> 00:56:53,399 Speaker 1: I was born in nineteen forty nine. I had two 969 00:56:53,440 --> 00:56:55,480 Speaker 1: parents who could take care of me. I went to 970 00:56:55,560 --> 00:56:57,959 Speaker 1: a public school, and I came out to a world 971 00:56:58,040 --> 00:57:01,320 Speaker 1: which for me was a world of equal opportunity. Okay. 972 00:57:01,680 --> 00:57:04,400 Speaker 1: You when you have those types of things and then 973 00:57:04,800 --> 00:57:07,560 Speaker 1: things evolve and we're in a very different part of 974 00:57:07,600 --> 00:57:10,839 Speaker 1: the cycle now. They amount the printing of money, the 975 00:57:10,880 --> 00:57:14,439 Speaker 1: internal conflict, the external conflict, those types of things. We're 976 00:57:14,440 --> 00:57:17,960 Speaker 1: in a different environment now and we have to recognize 977 00:57:18,000 --> 00:57:21,280 Speaker 1: that and why we never experienced it. Yeah, if we 978 00:57:21,360 --> 00:57:26,200 Speaker 1: experienced it and had that terror for it or the 979 00:57:26,320 --> 00:57:29,120 Speaker 1: choice of what could be the joy of the alternative, 980 00:57:29,480 --> 00:57:32,080 Speaker 1: we would be in a different position. Yeah, it also 981 00:57:32,160 --> 00:57:34,320 Speaker 1: sounds like we haven't experienced that, but we also haven't 982 00:57:34,360 --> 00:57:38,080 Speaker 1: experienced what it feels like to live in a culture 983 00:57:38,120 --> 00:57:40,960 Speaker 1: of higher values. Right, So like when you were talking 984 00:57:40,960 --> 00:57:43,000 Speaker 1: about earlier and I'm going a bit more micro, but 985 00:57:43,160 --> 00:57:46,080 Speaker 1: to take it macro again, when you said, and you know, 986 00:57:46,160 --> 00:57:49,680 Speaker 1: we create an organization, whereas about meaningful work, meaningful relationships, 987 00:57:50,240 --> 00:57:54,840 Speaker 1: you know, radical transparency. If you've never worked in a 988 00:57:54,960 --> 00:57:58,479 Speaker 1: culture like that, you don't know the value of it, 989 00:57:58,800 --> 00:58:03,920 Speaker 1: and therefore you naturally have a culture of disagreement, arguments, disconnection. 990 00:58:04,440 --> 00:58:06,040 Speaker 1: And so it's almost like, how do we get to 991 00:58:06,080 --> 00:58:09,880 Speaker 1: a point where everyone does like, you'll always go and 992 00:58:10,040 --> 00:58:13,720 Speaker 1: I'm going very micro here, but you'll always go for 993 00:58:13,800 --> 00:58:17,240 Speaker 1: the junk food unless you've had healthy tasty food. Right, 994 00:58:17,280 --> 00:58:21,560 Speaker 1: it's just natural because we've been programmed to look for sugars, carbs, fats, 995 00:58:21,560 --> 00:58:26,040 Speaker 1: you'll go for that unless you've had healthy, tasty food accessible. Yes, 996 00:58:26,120 --> 00:58:29,040 Speaker 1: and so on a macro level. The challenge again comes 997 00:58:29,040 --> 00:58:31,600 Speaker 1: that if you have junk values and you have healthy values, 998 00:58:31,920 --> 00:58:34,320 Speaker 1: you naturally go for the junk values because that's what 999 00:58:34,520 --> 00:58:37,280 Speaker 1: served you. And so it's like, how do you give 1000 00:58:37,320 --> 00:58:41,200 Speaker 1: people at scale an experience of how living with equal 1001 00:58:41,240 --> 00:58:46,880 Speaker 1: opportunity or other healthy values is actually better for everyone? Right? Like, 1002 00:58:47,000 --> 00:58:48,960 Speaker 1: it's how do we do that? Is that? Is that possible? 1003 00:58:49,120 --> 00:58:53,960 Speaker 1: That the goal? I think it's the same as good parenting, 1004 00:58:54,800 --> 00:58:59,120 Speaker 1: good mentoring, and the good work that you're doing. Right 1005 00:58:59,440 --> 00:59:02,480 Speaker 1: there are people on this broadcast and you're helping a 1006 00:59:02,520 --> 00:59:05,560 Speaker 1: lot of people, and I'm trying in my way to 1007 00:59:05,600 --> 00:59:10,160 Speaker 1: do the same. And then it's up here, comes in here, 1008 00:59:10,840 --> 00:59:15,320 Speaker 1: and then it has to be that visceral experience it 1009 00:59:15,680 --> 00:59:19,000 Speaker 1: so that you start to experience the rewards of it, 1010 00:59:19,440 --> 00:59:24,680 Speaker 1: so that you're afraid of not doing it right. Habit Okay, 1011 00:59:25,240 --> 00:59:27,800 Speaker 1: I talked about eighteen months. Okay, you can change the 1012 00:59:27,800 --> 00:59:31,920 Speaker 1: behavior in eighteen months, by and large, behavioral change is 1013 00:59:31,920 --> 00:59:37,000 Speaker 1: like an eighteen month thing. If you take somebody alcohol 1014 00:59:37,040 --> 00:59:40,160 Speaker 1: it's anonymous, or if you take other things, can you 1015 00:59:40,320 --> 00:59:46,400 Speaker 1: develop the subliminal que that you're working off of to 1016 00:59:46,560 --> 00:59:50,800 Speaker 1: produce a reaction that becomes instinctual, So you do it. 1017 00:59:50,960 --> 00:59:54,280 Speaker 1: That is the path and wherever it comes from, whether 1018 00:59:54,320 --> 00:59:58,560 Speaker 1: it's coming from this, that whatever we're doing, and then 1019 00:59:58,640 --> 01:00:03,080 Speaker 1: action that's taken to change one's habit and then experience 1020 01:00:03,160 --> 01:00:06,160 Speaker 1: the rewards of it that you know, that's the psychle 1021 01:00:06,360 --> 01:00:12,640 Speaker 1: I'm just you scientifically right, psychologically, scientifically, that's what it is. 1022 01:00:12,680 --> 01:00:16,080 Speaker 1: It's not a philosophical answer, it's just the way it is. Yeah, no, 1023 01:00:16,240 --> 01:00:18,680 Speaker 1: but that's what it is. It's it's building a new culture, 1024 01:00:19,240 --> 01:00:22,720 Speaker 1: and the culture starts with each individual building it within themselves. Right, 1025 01:00:22,760 --> 01:00:25,960 Speaker 1: And so you're making another good point. It's those things 1026 01:00:25,960 --> 01:00:31,959 Speaker 1: that I just said in a reinforcing environment in which 1027 01:00:32,000 --> 01:00:35,280 Speaker 1: others share those things, and then it makes it the 1028 01:00:35,440 --> 01:00:39,400 Speaker 1: better because that group reinforcing it, which is a culture, 1029 01:00:40,040 --> 01:00:43,120 Speaker 1: it has a great great power over what's going to happen. 1030 01:00:43,320 --> 01:00:48,040 Speaker 1: Culture is destiny. Culture's destiny. Well, what are some of 1031 01:00:48,040 --> 01:00:51,479 Speaker 1: the things that you think, after all these years, after 1032 01:00:51,520 --> 01:00:54,800 Speaker 1: all this study, after all this research, have become healthy 1033 01:00:54,880 --> 01:00:57,520 Speaker 1: things to aspire for. I think to be a human 1034 01:00:57,560 --> 01:01:01,640 Speaker 1: means to aspire, like we're always seeking, aspiring, wanting something. 1035 01:01:02,760 --> 01:01:05,520 Speaker 1: What do you think of healthy things or how can 1036 01:01:05,560 --> 01:01:08,960 Speaker 1: people discover because I think we all, you know, everyone 1037 01:01:09,000 --> 01:01:10,600 Speaker 1: could go down the path and think, Okay, there was 1038 01:01:10,640 --> 01:01:12,120 Speaker 1: a time it's what you said, like there was a 1039 01:01:12,160 --> 01:01:14,360 Speaker 1: time when all I wanted was money or success, and 1040 01:01:14,360 --> 01:01:16,440 Speaker 1: then often when people get that, they go, well, that 1041 01:01:16,560 --> 01:01:19,040 Speaker 1: was good, but that wasn't it. Is the goal to 1042 01:01:19,120 --> 01:01:21,320 Speaker 1: just seek and aspire for what you feel at the time, 1043 01:01:21,360 --> 01:01:23,400 Speaker 1: and then change it when you get that because you've 1044 01:01:23,400 --> 01:01:27,400 Speaker 1: realized that wasn't it. Or are there certain healthy characteristics 1045 01:01:27,480 --> 01:01:29,880 Speaker 1: or values that you think people can aspire for. I 1046 01:01:29,960 --> 01:01:35,400 Speaker 1: do agree on the journey and the evolutionary process of 1047 01:01:35,600 --> 01:01:39,280 Speaker 1: In other words, you go after something, you experience it, 1048 01:01:39,360 --> 01:01:42,640 Speaker 1: you learn, and you evolve, and so I believe it's 1049 01:01:42,640 --> 01:01:47,720 Speaker 1: an evolutionary process. Okay, so I think it is evolve 1050 01:01:47,920 --> 01:01:53,520 Speaker 1: well and contribute to evolution. If I was to say, 1051 01:01:53,560 --> 01:01:57,960 Speaker 1: for me, what my aspiration is is evolve well and 1052 01:01:58,040 --> 01:02:03,080 Speaker 1: contribute to evolution to yourself. That's why to know yourself 1053 01:02:03,160 --> 01:02:07,920 Speaker 1: means know your nature. I put out a free test 1054 01:02:07,960 --> 01:02:12,400 Speaker 1: for everyone wants. It's called Principles You. Yes, it's the 1055 01:02:12,520 --> 01:02:16,320 Speaker 1: universally and just determined like the most effective tests, Principles You. 1056 01:02:16,400 --> 01:02:21,080 Speaker 1: It's free online. You can go online and understand yourself, 1057 01:02:21,440 --> 01:02:24,120 Speaker 1: and it helps you understand other types of people. So 1058 01:02:24,320 --> 01:02:28,880 Speaker 1: knowing one's nature and then finding the path for that 1059 01:02:29,040 --> 01:02:33,720 Speaker 1: nature is a very important thing. And number three, I 1060 01:02:33,760 --> 01:02:39,840 Speaker 1: would say is meaningful work and meaningful relationships. For most people, 1061 01:02:40,400 --> 01:02:43,040 Speaker 1: if you have something you're into and it's a passion 1062 01:02:43,640 --> 01:02:48,520 Speaker 1: and you have wonderful relationships, it's from almost all people 1063 01:02:48,800 --> 01:02:52,439 Speaker 1: wonderfully rewarding. So I would say it's you know those 1064 01:02:52,760 --> 01:02:55,480 Speaker 1: those three things, right, there's a beautiful answer this. It's 1065 01:02:55,520 --> 01:02:58,200 Speaker 1: always such a joy and pleasure to talk to you. 1066 01:02:58,440 --> 01:03:01,280 Speaker 1: I always learned so much, and you set the tone 1067 01:03:01,280 --> 01:03:04,840 Speaker 1: when you said jazz. You gave us full permission to 1068 01:03:04,960 --> 01:03:08,160 Speaker 1: just go off peace and really co create. And I 1069 01:03:08,480 --> 01:03:10,520 Speaker 1: love where we got to. I you know, when we 1070 01:03:10,560 --> 01:03:12,080 Speaker 1: spoke last week and we were saying what should we 1071 01:03:12,120 --> 01:03:14,600 Speaker 1: talk about? And I never thought it would go in 1072 01:03:14,640 --> 01:03:18,280 Speaker 1: this direction. But I'm so satisfied by this meaningful conversation 1073 01:03:18,880 --> 01:03:21,000 Speaker 1: because I think we went somewhere we didn't plan to, 1074 01:03:21,680 --> 01:03:23,960 Speaker 1: and that always feels like a better end than what 1075 01:03:24,040 --> 01:03:25,800 Speaker 1: you did plan to as well. Well, this was like 1076 01:03:25,880 --> 01:03:29,160 Speaker 1: playing good jazz. But this isn't the end, no, please, 1077 01:03:29,240 --> 01:03:31,800 Speaker 1: Like I'm what I'm telling you is that I'm coming 1078 01:03:31,840 --> 01:03:34,160 Speaker 1: back at you man, right, Oh, okay, So I am 1079 01:03:34,240 --> 01:03:36,800 Speaker 1: going to you asked me a lot of questions, okay, 1080 01:03:36,920 --> 01:03:39,160 Speaker 1: But what I'm going to do is I'm coming at 1081 01:03:39,240 --> 01:03:43,960 Speaker 1: you for your principles. Okay. I want you articulated, and 1082 01:03:44,040 --> 01:03:47,320 Speaker 1: I'm going to give you those things because i want 1083 01:03:47,320 --> 01:03:51,720 Speaker 1: that to be put out, okay, and distributed, and i 1084 01:03:51,800 --> 01:03:55,200 Speaker 1: want people to vote them up for the best situation. 1085 01:03:55,520 --> 01:03:58,480 Speaker 1: How do you deal with a divorce, a death in 1086 01:03:58,520 --> 01:04:01,080 Speaker 1: the family, whatever. I'm going to give you a bunch 1087 01:04:01,080 --> 01:04:05,520 Speaker 1: of those types of questions. What's your formula for success? Okay? 1088 01:04:05,640 --> 01:04:09,000 Speaker 1: So imagine now there's Jay Chetty's and there's other people 1089 01:04:09,120 --> 01:04:11,600 Speaker 1: there that they can vote those things up to get 1090 01:04:11,640 --> 01:04:15,480 Speaker 1: whatever they think is the best, which is essentially creating 1091 01:04:16,160 --> 01:04:19,240 Speaker 1: the principles for themselves or almost the way of life, 1092 01:04:19,280 --> 01:04:22,280 Speaker 1: the religion for themselves that they think is going to 1093 01:04:22,320 --> 01:04:25,160 Speaker 1: be best. So I think that's a paramount importance. I 1094 01:04:25,160 --> 01:04:27,680 Speaker 1: can't wait for that. I'm so excited. I'm so excited 1095 01:04:27,680 --> 01:04:30,720 Speaker 1: to contribute, more excited to use it. Sounds like a 1096 01:04:30,720 --> 01:04:34,320 Speaker 1: fantastic resource. Are you doing. You're developing that right now? Yeah, 1097 01:04:34,360 --> 01:04:36,640 Speaker 1: and the goal is that it will be every area 1098 01:04:36,640 --> 01:04:41,320 Speaker 1: of life, every business, family, that's right. I want anybody 1099 01:04:41,320 --> 01:04:45,120 Speaker 1: on anything that's on the principles. Right, you just push 1100 01:04:45,200 --> 01:04:47,480 Speaker 1: the button, you say I need help with I've got 1101 01:04:47,480 --> 01:04:53,160 Speaker 1: a I don't know, an add four year old. Yeah, okay, yeah, 1102 01:04:53,520 --> 01:04:57,720 Speaker 1: push the button. What's the best principle? Okay, that's what 1103 01:04:57,760 --> 01:05:01,959 Speaker 1: I'd like to do. So tell me in terms of 1104 01:05:02,120 --> 01:05:07,440 Speaker 1: the journey of life? What are you going after and why? 1105 01:05:07,880 --> 01:05:09,960 Speaker 1: How do you look at your journey of life? What 1106 01:05:10,000 --> 01:05:13,600 Speaker 1: are you going after? Why? And that's you? And then 1107 01:05:14,200 --> 01:05:17,680 Speaker 1: what do you think other people should do for their 1108 01:05:17,760 --> 01:05:20,840 Speaker 1: journey of life? Because they may go after different things. 1109 01:05:21,280 --> 01:05:24,520 Speaker 1: So give me the more general answer that may not 1110 01:05:24,680 --> 01:05:30,160 Speaker 1: be just yours. So there's a few steps to this. 1111 01:05:31,760 --> 01:05:34,200 Speaker 1: The first thing I'd say is a general is that 1112 01:05:34,400 --> 01:05:39,880 Speaker 1: there are four really important decisions that I believe we 1113 01:05:39,920 --> 01:05:44,040 Speaker 1: have to make in life. And the first principle is 1114 01:05:44,120 --> 01:05:46,960 Speaker 1: how do I feel about myself? I think that's a 1115 01:05:46,960 --> 01:05:49,680 Speaker 1: really important decision and choice we get to make every day. 1116 01:05:49,720 --> 01:05:51,880 Speaker 1: Is who am I? And how do I feel about 1117 01:05:51,920 --> 01:05:54,480 Speaker 1: who I am and who I want to be? How 1118 01:05:54,520 --> 01:05:56,439 Speaker 1: do I feel about myself? Now, when we get there, 1119 01:05:56,520 --> 01:05:58,959 Speaker 1: I'm going to go to a principle that's going to help. Please, 1120 01:05:59,120 --> 01:06:02,680 Speaker 1: I'm going to pull pull it out of you. Okay, yeah, 1121 01:06:02,760 --> 01:06:06,760 Speaker 1: so what do you do do you then, as you're 1122 01:06:06,800 --> 01:06:11,240 Speaker 1: making these choices, say, I'm experiencing this and therefore I 1123 01:06:11,280 --> 01:06:15,560 Speaker 1: feel better, and then therefore that helps guide me on 1124 01:06:15,600 --> 01:06:18,040 Speaker 1: what I should do. Yeah. So I think with that one, 1125 01:06:18,480 --> 01:06:21,400 Speaker 1: I think we're very aligned on the aspect of nature. 1126 01:06:21,720 --> 01:06:23,640 Speaker 1: I think we're very aligned on that. It's why I 1127 01:06:23,680 --> 01:06:28,200 Speaker 1: love the principles you assessment, like the idea of knowing 1128 01:06:28,280 --> 01:06:31,280 Speaker 1: that there is a wiring in the way that we've 1129 01:06:31,320 --> 01:06:34,920 Speaker 1: been created and evolved that allows us to be effective. 1130 01:06:34,960 --> 01:06:39,040 Speaker 1: And so for me, I have a short formula for that, 1131 01:06:39,080 --> 01:06:44,000 Speaker 1: and it's passion plus strengths plus service. So I believe 1132 01:06:44,040 --> 01:06:47,240 Speaker 1: that your passion is what makes you happy, and when 1133 01:06:47,240 --> 01:06:49,960 Speaker 1: you use your passion in the service of others, it 1134 01:06:50,000 --> 01:06:52,520 Speaker 1: makes other people happy. And so when you add your 1135 01:06:52,520 --> 01:06:54,800 Speaker 1: passion to your strengths and you add it to service 1136 01:06:54,880 --> 01:07:00,880 Speaker 1: or contribution, it equals what it equals purpose Okay, yeah, okay, 1137 01:07:01,160 --> 01:07:06,320 Speaker 1: So people have to have a purpose, okay, and that 1138 01:07:06,520 --> 01:07:11,440 Speaker 1: equals the passion plus the strengths, right plus contribution or 1139 01:07:11,440 --> 01:07:14,040 Speaker 1: service the ability to use that in the service Okay, 1140 01:07:14,160 --> 01:07:18,760 Speaker 1: there we go. There's a formula there, right, there's a principle. Yes, okay, yeah, 1141 01:07:19,200 --> 01:07:22,000 Speaker 1: that's the general. That's the general. Like, that's the first 1142 01:07:22,040 --> 01:07:24,520 Speaker 1: that's only the first decision, and that's the formula for 1143 01:07:24,560 --> 01:07:28,080 Speaker 1: the first decision. Overarching, overarching. Yeah. Like that For me 1144 01:07:28,240 --> 01:07:32,240 Speaker 1: has been my dedication is to help people figure out 1145 01:07:32,280 --> 01:07:35,880 Speaker 1: their purpose because I believe that if we have people 1146 01:07:36,200 --> 01:07:39,760 Speaker 1: of purpose, there'll be better people. There'll be better partners, 1147 01:07:39,800 --> 01:07:42,720 Speaker 1: there'll be better parents, they'll be better professionals. Because I 1148 01:07:42,760 --> 01:07:45,320 Speaker 1: think what's missing in the world is a feeling of 1149 01:07:45,400 --> 01:07:49,800 Speaker 1: individual and collective value. I see, and then they know 1150 01:07:50,000 --> 01:07:56,000 Speaker 1: that they're getting it because of how they feel about themselves. Yes, 1151 01:07:56,120 --> 01:07:59,920 Speaker 1: I think when you yeah, when you have purpose, you whatever. 1152 01:08:00,240 --> 01:08:02,760 Speaker 1: What's fascinating about purpose is I think one of the 1153 01:08:03,000 --> 01:08:06,440 Speaker 1: and this is probably quite a nuance, but one of 1154 01:08:06,480 --> 01:08:10,280 Speaker 1: the signs of a lack of purpose is that we 1155 01:08:11,120 --> 01:08:14,280 Speaker 1: envy everyone. We want to be like everyone. We look 1156 01:08:14,320 --> 01:08:16,200 Speaker 1: at what someone doesn't. I wish I could do that. 1157 01:08:16,240 --> 01:08:18,040 Speaker 1: I wish I could do that. When one finds a 1158 01:08:18,080 --> 01:08:22,000 Speaker 1: sense of purpose, one can actually appreciate someone else for 1159 01:08:22,080 --> 01:08:24,680 Speaker 1: what they do really well, because you realize that's their 1160 01:08:24,760 --> 01:08:26,519 Speaker 1: nature and that's what they were born to do. And 1161 01:08:26,560 --> 01:08:28,040 Speaker 1: this is mine and this is what I was born 1162 01:08:28,080 --> 01:08:30,519 Speaker 1: to do. And so there's a lack of envy I 1163 01:08:30,560 --> 01:08:34,280 Speaker 1: think is a great indicator to a sense of purpose. 1164 01:08:34,400 --> 01:08:36,559 Speaker 1: Like I love what you do. I admire what you do. 1165 01:08:36,640 --> 01:08:39,439 Speaker 1: I could never do what you did over all these years, 1166 01:08:39,479 --> 01:08:43,519 Speaker 1: not because I'm insignificant or invaluable. I'm not smart. It's 1167 01:08:43,520 --> 01:08:45,960 Speaker 1: just because my sparts are different and I'm meant to 1168 01:08:46,000 --> 01:08:49,799 Speaker 1: be following a different part. And we so agree knowing 1169 01:08:49,840 --> 01:08:53,040 Speaker 1: what your nature is and getting that feedback. And by 1170 01:08:53,040 --> 01:08:56,559 Speaker 1: the way, and we both like principles you as a 1171 01:08:56,640 --> 01:08:59,400 Speaker 1: way as a step toward or towards that. What about 1172 01:08:59,760 --> 01:09:02,800 Speaker 1: the life are Yes? The second most important decision applies 1173 01:09:02,840 --> 01:09:04,719 Speaker 1: to the first is what do I do for money? 1174 01:09:04,840 --> 01:09:06,360 Speaker 1: I think that's one of the that's the same and 1175 01:09:06,360 --> 01:09:08,559 Speaker 1: that applies to what we said it so that that 1176 01:09:08,600 --> 01:09:10,599 Speaker 1: applies to the two things. Those first two things are 1177 01:09:10,640 --> 01:09:12,760 Speaker 1: solved by the equation we just discussed, Like what do 1178 01:09:12,800 --> 01:09:14,840 Speaker 1: I do for money? That's an important decision we have 1179 01:09:14,880 --> 01:09:17,000 Speaker 1: to make in life. Everyone needs to make money, everyone 1180 01:09:17,000 --> 01:09:19,639 Speaker 1: needs to pay bills. So that's already there. The third 1181 01:09:19,720 --> 01:09:22,400 Speaker 1: most important decision we make in life. I don't want 1182 01:09:22,400 --> 01:09:25,599 Speaker 1: to skip over. Can we drill into that or should 1183 01:09:25,640 --> 01:09:27,439 Speaker 1: we go to the next No, son, we can drill 1184 01:09:27,479 --> 01:09:29,839 Speaker 1: into that, I think, yeah, we can drill into that absolutely. 1185 01:09:30,040 --> 01:09:31,880 Speaker 1: How do you approach that question? I think that's what 1186 01:09:31,880 --> 01:09:34,320 Speaker 1: I'm saying. Some parts of it apply to the nature aspect, 1187 01:09:34,400 --> 01:09:36,960 Speaker 1: and I think the part that is missed mostly in that. 1188 01:09:37,120 --> 01:09:41,160 Speaker 1: And I love the author of Flow who talked about 1189 01:09:41,200 --> 01:09:48,920 Speaker 1: the beautiful synergy between our challenge and our skills. So 1190 01:09:48,960 --> 01:09:51,599 Speaker 1: he said that we experienced flow when our challenge meets 1191 01:09:51,600 --> 01:09:54,960 Speaker 1: our skills. When our skills are high and our challenge 1192 01:09:55,000 --> 01:09:59,000 Speaker 1: is low, we feel bored, we feel disconnected, we feel disengaged. 1193 01:09:59,280 --> 01:10:01,280 Speaker 1: But when our challeng lenges high and our skills are low, 1194 01:10:01,320 --> 01:10:04,240 Speaker 1: we feel depressed, we feel lost, we feel confused. And 1195 01:10:04,280 --> 01:10:06,080 Speaker 1: so if we want to feel experience flow in life, 1196 01:10:06,080 --> 01:10:08,920 Speaker 1: we have to find where our skills meet our challenge. 1197 01:10:08,920 --> 01:10:11,719 Speaker 1: And to me, that's where how what we do for money? 1198 01:10:11,960 --> 01:10:13,720 Speaker 1: I think one of the biggest mistakes we make is 1199 01:10:13,760 --> 01:10:17,040 Speaker 1: today people are only focusing on passion and not building 1200 01:10:17,080 --> 01:10:20,120 Speaker 1: their skills and their strengths. And so to me, when 1201 01:10:20,120 --> 01:10:21,800 Speaker 1: you're figuring out what you want to do, for money. 1202 01:10:21,800 --> 01:10:24,120 Speaker 1: You have to figure out what skill am I willing 1203 01:10:24,160 --> 01:10:27,240 Speaker 1: to get really good at? What am I genuinely willing 1204 01:10:27,280 --> 01:10:31,160 Speaker 1: to discipline myself to become phenomenal at right? And if 1205 01:10:31,160 --> 01:10:33,000 Speaker 1: I can do that, then that's a good thing you're saying, 1206 01:10:33,040 --> 01:10:35,800 Speaker 1: and which I agree with them, as we covered know 1207 01:10:35,920 --> 01:10:40,240 Speaker 1: your nature and discover it along the way. But also 1208 01:10:40,760 --> 01:10:43,880 Speaker 1: for me, it's if I can make my work and 1209 01:10:43,960 --> 01:10:47,479 Speaker 1: passion the same thing and not forget about the money part, yes, 1210 01:10:49,040 --> 01:10:54,000 Speaker 1: then I am going to probably be successful because I'll 1211 01:10:54,040 --> 01:10:58,040 Speaker 1: be happy. I'll also be good at what I'm doing, yes, 1212 01:10:58,120 --> 01:11:00,720 Speaker 1: And the money part is an important part that you 1213 01:11:00,760 --> 01:11:06,520 Speaker 1: can't forget about, absolutely absolutely. I think. Another principle ideally 1214 01:11:06,720 --> 01:11:10,800 Speaker 1: is to be self sufficient plus. What I mean by 1215 01:11:10,840 --> 01:11:15,000 Speaker 1: self sufficient plus is that you're not dependent on the 1216 01:11:15,040 --> 01:11:18,080 Speaker 1: money coming from anybody else if you can right that, 1217 01:11:18,200 --> 01:11:21,840 Speaker 1: because you then have if it doesn't come from anyone else. 1218 01:11:21,880 --> 01:11:24,920 Speaker 1: In that way, first, you're raising yourself to the level 1219 01:11:24,960 --> 01:11:27,960 Speaker 1: to be self sufficient, and I don't really care whether 1220 01:11:28,080 --> 01:11:31,400 Speaker 1: that's at a high level of income or a low 1221 01:11:31,479 --> 01:11:34,960 Speaker 1: level of income. The important thing is that you are 1222 01:11:35,040 --> 01:11:39,439 Speaker 1: happy that you pursue goals, and that happiness and that 1223 01:11:39,520 --> 01:11:42,479 Speaker 1: particular thing. But if you're self sufficient plus, it means 1224 01:11:42,479 --> 01:11:45,160 Speaker 1: you're free, you're self sufficient, and it means also that 1225 01:11:45,200 --> 01:11:48,240 Speaker 1: you can help others if you because you've got some plus. 1226 01:11:49,280 --> 01:11:54,120 Speaker 1: What are your thoughts about where that's one of mine? 1227 01:11:54,240 --> 01:11:57,679 Speaker 1: What about yours? In terms of that measurement about money? 1228 01:11:58,040 --> 01:12:00,959 Speaker 1: How do you approach money? What is the right amount 1229 01:12:01,360 --> 01:12:03,920 Speaker 1: of money? Yeah, I would say that we're very aligned. 1230 01:12:03,960 --> 01:12:05,960 Speaker 1: I think the right amount of money is what's right 1231 01:12:06,040 --> 01:12:08,519 Speaker 1: for you and what you're creating. But I love the 1232 01:12:08,520 --> 01:12:12,599 Speaker 1: self sufficient plus. Because I had this conversation, I had 1233 01:12:12,600 --> 01:12:15,599 Speaker 1: to really rewire my relationship with money as I grew older, 1234 01:12:15,640 --> 01:12:17,880 Speaker 1: because I was kind of trained to believe that I 1235 01:12:17,920 --> 01:12:21,080 Speaker 1: always needed just enough. I always grew up with just enough. 1236 01:12:21,120 --> 01:12:23,080 Speaker 1: I saw zero in my bank I started working when 1237 01:12:23,120 --> 01:12:25,759 Speaker 1: I was fourteen and saw zero in my bank account 1238 01:12:25,800 --> 01:12:28,599 Speaker 1: for many, many years, and that was fine. It was like, Okay, 1239 01:12:28,680 --> 01:12:30,840 Speaker 1: I had just enough. I paid for that thing. Okay, 1240 01:12:30,840 --> 01:12:32,720 Speaker 1: if I have zero, that's good. Like I lived like 1241 01:12:32,800 --> 01:12:36,400 Speaker 1: that from fourteen to twenty one, and when I went 1242 01:12:36,400 --> 01:12:38,360 Speaker 1: back into the world of work, I just realized how 1243 01:12:38,439 --> 01:12:40,760 Speaker 1: that was not the way to live. And it wasn't 1244 01:12:40,800 --> 01:12:43,040 Speaker 1: I lived that way because I had luxuries or it 1245 01:12:43,080 --> 01:12:44,800 Speaker 1: was just what I had. It wasn't that I was 1246 01:12:44,800 --> 01:12:46,840 Speaker 1: wasting money. It was just that I never knew how 1247 01:12:46,840 --> 01:12:49,760 Speaker 1: to make it, keep it, save it, invest it. And 1248 01:12:49,800 --> 01:12:52,240 Speaker 1: so when I rewired my relationship with money, I love 1249 01:12:52,320 --> 01:12:56,040 Speaker 1: self sufficiency plus because to me, I also realized that 1250 01:12:56,200 --> 01:12:59,599 Speaker 1: being able to contribute, being able to give back, being 1251 01:12:59,600 --> 01:13:02,519 Speaker 1: able to haws on was such a healthy part of it. 1252 01:13:02,520 --> 01:13:05,360 Speaker 1: But so often we're trained that simplicity is having enough 1253 01:13:05,360 --> 01:13:08,439 Speaker 1: for yourself, but having enough should include being able to 1254 01:13:08,479 --> 01:13:11,519 Speaker 1: also give whatever that may be. The same experience happened 1255 01:13:11,520 --> 01:13:13,920 Speaker 1: to me, And we're talking about the life arc like 1256 01:13:14,160 --> 01:13:18,120 Speaker 1: for me up until I guess it was probably it 1257 01:13:18,200 --> 01:13:21,880 Speaker 1: was certainly my early twenties. I was exactly like you, like, 1258 01:13:22,280 --> 01:13:24,040 Speaker 1: I like to do the things I like to do. 1259 01:13:24,320 --> 01:13:26,559 Speaker 1: If I've got enough money to do them, I'm having 1260 01:13:26,560 --> 01:13:29,120 Speaker 1: a blast. I don't need any more than that. Yes, 1261 01:13:29,400 --> 01:13:32,360 Speaker 1: And then I got to a point where I started 1262 01:13:32,400 --> 01:13:37,240 Speaker 1: to calculate how many weeks I could live if not 1263 01:13:37,360 --> 01:13:41,479 Speaker 1: a dollar came in. Okay, if I could live, Can 1264 01:13:41,520 --> 01:13:47,720 Speaker 1: I live a month? Can I live twelve months? I 1265 01:13:47,760 --> 01:13:50,240 Speaker 1: would calculate if I'm spending it this and I have this, 1266 01:13:50,560 --> 01:13:54,719 Speaker 1: and I wanted to live have enough freedom of that 1267 01:13:55,080 --> 01:13:59,880 Speaker 1: worry that I could have that amount. And I got 1268 01:13:59,880 --> 01:14:03,600 Speaker 1: to the point where it was about three years. If 1269 01:14:03,800 --> 01:14:07,800 Speaker 1: I could have three years, then I knew, like I'm downtime, 1270 01:14:08,240 --> 01:14:11,240 Speaker 1: and that gives me enough wiggle room. And so I 1271 01:14:11,280 --> 01:14:14,360 Speaker 1: started to realize that if I took the amount of 1272 01:14:14,479 --> 01:14:18,200 Speaker 1: money I had by the rate at which I spend it, 1273 01:14:19,040 --> 01:14:22,800 Speaker 1: and I calculated how long it would last, that that 1274 01:14:22,880 --> 01:14:26,599 Speaker 1: gave me that kind of perspective and that and that 1275 01:14:26,880 --> 01:14:29,559 Speaker 1: and then I have a family. Yeah, and then as 1276 01:14:29,600 --> 01:14:32,040 Speaker 1: I start to think of the family, that number changes. 1277 01:14:32,400 --> 01:14:35,400 Speaker 1: And of course what like you say, everybody then is 1278 01:14:35,400 --> 01:14:40,160 Speaker 1: an investor, correct, because everybody's how has that has to 1279 01:14:40,200 --> 01:14:42,479 Speaker 1: put it somewhere. I got to know about it, but 1280 01:14:42,520 --> 01:14:45,200 Speaker 1: I had the same experience. I think that experience is 1281 01:14:45,240 --> 01:14:48,000 Speaker 1: part of the life arc. Yes, you know and earlier 1282 01:14:48,080 --> 01:14:51,280 Speaker 1: part of your life reassuring to hear that it's normal. 1283 01:14:51,400 --> 01:14:54,360 Speaker 1: Then you get to a certain other part of your life. Yeah. 1284 01:14:54,400 --> 01:14:56,280 Speaker 1: And I think the other thing for me, and the 1285 01:14:56,320 --> 01:14:58,840 Speaker 1: measure that I give people is that, let's say, when 1286 01:14:58,840 --> 01:15:01,439 Speaker 1: you start your work life. Hopefully it isn't this case, 1287 01:15:01,479 --> 01:15:03,080 Speaker 1: but I think for the majority of people. It will 1288 01:15:03,120 --> 01:15:05,839 Speaker 1: be when you first start your career, one hundred percent 1289 01:15:06,360 --> 01:15:09,519 Speaker 1: of your time at work is potentially doing something you 1290 01:15:09,600 --> 01:15:12,320 Speaker 1: don't love. And I think it's good for you. Yeah, 1291 01:15:12,360 --> 01:15:14,720 Speaker 1: that's good for you. It's important. It's builds resilience and 1292 01:15:14,760 --> 01:15:17,719 Speaker 1: builds character. It's great. But I think success and happiness 1293 01:15:17,760 --> 01:15:20,879 Speaker 1: to me is that as life goes on, that percentage 1294 01:15:20,880 --> 01:15:23,000 Speaker 1: starts to get lower and low. I think it is. 1295 01:15:23,600 --> 01:15:27,040 Speaker 1: I think it's just that you do things for me anyway. Yeah, 1296 01:15:27,160 --> 01:15:30,759 Speaker 1: it's that I do things that I don't love because 1297 01:15:30,800 --> 01:15:34,000 Speaker 1: I get things that I love more. Yes, I couldn't 1298 01:15:34,000 --> 01:15:35,840 Speaker 1: agree more. I say that along my life today when 1299 01:15:35,840 --> 01:15:37,280 Speaker 1: everyone's like, oh, yeah, you must love your life, and 1300 01:15:37,360 --> 01:15:39,120 Speaker 1: I'm like, I do plenty of things that I don't 1301 01:15:39,200 --> 01:15:41,840 Speaker 1: love to do in order to make time and space 1302 01:15:41,880 --> 01:15:43,360 Speaker 1: to do what I love to do and do more 1303 01:15:43,400 --> 01:15:46,519 Speaker 1: of I fully agree. But I think that percentage needs 1304 01:15:46,560 --> 01:15:48,760 Speaker 1: to shift because you don't want one hundred percent of 1305 01:15:48,760 --> 01:15:50,720 Speaker 1: your time at work to be doing something you don't love. 1306 01:15:50,880 --> 01:15:53,240 Speaker 1: Another principle I would say, and I want to get 1307 01:15:53,280 --> 01:15:57,920 Speaker 1: your thoughts, I'm gonna pull out. Your principle is own 1308 01:15:58,000 --> 01:16:02,280 Speaker 1: it and don't be the victim. What I mean, yes, 1309 01:16:03,120 --> 01:16:09,960 Speaker 1: that person who describes you know, this terrible thing and 1310 01:16:10,080 --> 01:16:15,120 Speaker 1: also tends to blame others. I didn't this thing happened, 1311 01:16:15,120 --> 01:16:19,040 Speaker 1: and that thing happened is probably not looking at it 1312 01:16:19,240 --> 01:16:23,040 Speaker 1: as what do I do in this chest lit game 1313 01:16:23,120 --> 01:16:26,479 Speaker 1: of life that is now having these things come at me? 1314 01:16:26,880 --> 01:16:30,120 Speaker 1: Where if you own it and you say, listen, this 1315 01:16:30,240 --> 01:16:34,240 Speaker 1: is your game, this is your life, and these things 1316 01:16:34,280 --> 01:16:37,920 Speaker 1: come at you and now it's your move, and you've 1317 01:16:37,960 --> 01:16:41,519 Speaker 1: got to make those moves, right, So you're thinking, not 1318 01:16:41,840 --> 01:16:44,920 Speaker 1: woe is me, but you're thinking, Okay, now I've got 1319 01:16:44,920 --> 01:16:48,080 Speaker 1: to do that. Yes, I think that's an important approach 1320 01:16:48,120 --> 01:16:50,200 Speaker 1: to life. What do you think of and what it's 1321 01:16:50,520 --> 01:16:53,439 Speaker 1: or your version of something like that. Feel free to 1322 01:16:53,439 --> 01:16:57,360 Speaker 1: totally disagree. No, no, I wish. I mean I'm not 1323 01:16:57,400 --> 01:16:59,800 Speaker 1: thinking I wish I disagree with you. I don't because 1324 01:16:59,840 --> 01:17:02,760 Speaker 1: I think there's a lot of similarities. I've always got it. 1325 01:17:02,840 --> 01:17:05,720 Speaker 1: Changed the situation, change yourself, and it's like I think 1326 01:17:05,760 --> 01:17:08,280 Speaker 1: a lot of us, those are two choices. And I 1327 01:17:08,320 --> 01:17:09,800 Speaker 1: think a lot of the time we put a lot 1328 01:17:09,840 --> 01:17:14,200 Speaker 1: of energy into changing a situation, and to me, that's 1329 01:17:14,240 --> 01:17:16,000 Speaker 1: a lot of the time that's out of our control. 1330 01:17:16,040 --> 01:17:19,400 Speaker 1: What we were discussing, like, I can't decide the weather today. 1331 01:17:19,439 --> 01:17:22,679 Speaker 1: I can't decide whether someone's going to like me because 1332 01:17:22,680 --> 01:17:26,160 Speaker 1: of how I behave with them. I can't change someone's 1333 01:17:26,160 --> 01:17:29,240 Speaker 1: complete energy or or towards me. I can't always change 1334 01:17:29,240 --> 01:17:31,080 Speaker 1: the situation, but I can change how I view it. 1335 01:17:31,120 --> 01:17:33,799 Speaker 1: I can change myself. And Wayne Diet had a beautiful 1336 01:17:33,800 --> 01:17:36,559 Speaker 1: statement where he said that when we change the way 1337 01:17:36,560 --> 01:17:39,160 Speaker 1: we look at things, the things we look at change. 1338 01:17:39,479 --> 01:17:41,599 Speaker 1: And I think that's always been very important to me, 1339 01:17:41,720 --> 01:17:44,800 Speaker 1: is that if I can't change the situation, how can 1340 01:17:44,840 --> 01:17:47,120 Speaker 1: I look at it differently? How can I change the 1341 01:17:47,240 --> 01:17:49,840 Speaker 1: lens through which I'm perceiving this? So I hear that 1342 01:17:49,960 --> 01:17:52,439 Speaker 1: connected to the thing that you said earlier about whether 1343 01:17:52,439 --> 01:17:55,760 Speaker 1: you're feeling good for yourself. Yeah, And it brings up 1344 01:17:55,760 --> 01:18:00,320 Speaker 1: another is don't worry so much about the approval of others. Yes, Yeah, 1345 01:18:00,320 --> 01:18:02,559 Speaker 1: that's a great one. I mean, that's that's a huge one. 1346 01:18:02,640 --> 01:18:04,760 Speaker 1: I mean, that's at the core of so much of this. 1347 01:18:04,960 --> 01:18:07,439 Speaker 1: It's I talk about in my book Think like a Monk. 1348 01:18:07,479 --> 01:18:10,439 Speaker 1: I talk about the four seas for the four types 1349 01:18:10,439 --> 01:18:12,320 Speaker 1: of people you'll meet in your life. And the problem 1350 01:18:12,360 --> 01:18:13,920 Speaker 1: is we're trying to find one person to do all 1351 01:18:13,960 --> 01:18:15,880 Speaker 1: the four of them. So some people in your life 1352 01:18:15,880 --> 01:18:17,800 Speaker 1: are going to have character. You go to them because 1353 01:18:17,840 --> 01:18:20,639 Speaker 1: you know they have high character. That's why you trust them. 1354 01:18:21,120 --> 01:18:23,160 Speaker 1: They may not always be around, they may not always 1355 01:18:23,200 --> 01:18:25,120 Speaker 1: be available, they may not be you know, they may 1356 01:18:25,160 --> 01:18:27,040 Speaker 1: not be next to you every day, but you go 1357 01:18:27,120 --> 01:18:28,680 Speaker 1: to them because you know, if you want to make 1358 01:18:28,680 --> 01:18:30,679 Speaker 1: a decision with high integrity, that person is a person 1359 01:18:30,720 --> 01:18:32,960 Speaker 1: of high character. Then you have someone in your life 1360 01:18:32,960 --> 01:18:36,240 Speaker 1: who's consistently there. You have someone who's always been your friend. 1361 01:18:36,280 --> 01:18:38,439 Speaker 1: They've always been around. They don't necessarily give the best 1362 01:18:38,439 --> 01:18:40,760 Speaker 1: advice to the worst advice, but they're consistent, they're they're 1363 01:18:40,800 --> 01:18:43,760 Speaker 1: they're with you. They will go through the trenches with you, 1364 01:18:43,800 --> 01:18:46,679 Speaker 1: and they're consistent. They don't always have the best next 1365 01:18:46,720 --> 01:18:49,640 Speaker 1: move or the best idea or insight, but they have 1366 01:18:49,760 --> 01:18:52,000 Speaker 1: value in the fact that they're loyal, they're consistent, but 1367 01:18:52,080 --> 01:18:54,880 Speaker 1: that is their value. And knowing that. The third is care. 1368 01:18:55,000 --> 01:18:56,920 Speaker 1: Someone who cares about you. Always give the idea of 1369 01:18:56,960 --> 01:18:59,320 Speaker 1: my mother, Like if I called my mom right now, 1370 01:18:59,360 --> 01:19:01,679 Speaker 1: it's like Mom, I with Ray. I just intervieed Ray Dalio. 1371 01:19:01,680 --> 01:19:03,759 Speaker 1: I learned she would just be like, have you eaten today? 1372 01:19:03,760 --> 01:19:05,240 Speaker 1: Like that's what my mom would ask me, she said, 1373 01:19:05,280 --> 01:19:07,280 Speaker 1: what did you have for breakfast? And be like, Mom, 1374 01:19:07,360 --> 01:19:08,640 Speaker 1: like I just smoked to Ray and she'd be like, 1375 01:19:08,680 --> 01:19:09,960 Speaker 1: no, no no, no, what did you have for breakfast? What 1376 01:19:09,960 --> 01:19:11,800 Speaker 1: are you hanging for lunch? Right, that's it's someone who 1377 01:19:11,880 --> 01:19:13,760 Speaker 1: cares for me. I'm not necessarily going to go to 1378 01:19:13,800 --> 01:19:15,920 Speaker 1: my mom to ask her for advice for my podcast, 1379 01:19:16,240 --> 01:19:18,120 Speaker 1: but I know she's the person that cares for me, 1380 01:19:18,200 --> 01:19:19,519 Speaker 1: like I know she will be there for me no 1381 01:19:19,560 --> 01:19:23,120 Speaker 1: matter what. And the final one is competence. There are 1382 01:19:23,120 --> 01:19:25,519 Speaker 1: people in our life who are high competence. They may 1383 01:19:25,560 --> 01:19:27,360 Speaker 1: not care about us, they may not have high character, 1384 01:19:27,400 --> 01:19:29,600 Speaker 1: but they're very competent in what they do, and I 1385 01:19:29,680 --> 01:19:31,639 Speaker 1: may take advice from them in that So to me 1386 01:19:32,400 --> 01:19:35,200 Speaker 1: knowing who to get approval of in different areas. If 1387 01:19:35,200 --> 01:19:38,040 Speaker 1: I try and get career approval from my mom, she 1388 01:19:38,080 --> 01:19:40,559 Speaker 1: may never give it to me because she's not happy 1389 01:19:40,560 --> 01:19:41,960 Speaker 1: for me to be on a plane and she's not 1390 01:19:42,000 --> 01:19:45,000 Speaker 1: happy for me to be running around and missing meals. 1391 01:19:44,760 --> 01:19:47,920 Speaker 1: She doesn't approve of that. At the same time, I 1392 01:19:47,960 --> 01:19:51,040 Speaker 1: don't need my spiritual teacher. For example, I go to 1393 01:19:51,120 --> 01:19:54,120 Speaker 1: him because he's a high character. But if I asked 1394 01:19:54,200 --> 01:19:56,280 Speaker 1: him for business advice, he'd say to me, well, this 1395 01:19:56,360 --> 01:19:59,479 Speaker 1: is my integrity principle. But he's not necessarily going to 1396 01:19:59,520 --> 01:20:02,080 Speaker 1: give me in advice. So I think becoming very clear 1397 01:20:02,120 --> 01:20:05,320 Speaker 1: about who I went to approval for what became very useful. 1398 01:20:05,680 --> 01:20:09,439 Speaker 1: You see, Um, these are coming out nice and quickly. 1399 01:20:09,479 --> 01:20:12,280 Speaker 1: It's like playing jazz, you know. Yes, there's something that 1400 01:20:12,360 --> 01:20:16,160 Speaker 1: happens really quickly, and it happens, but very important to 1401 01:20:16,360 --> 01:20:18,479 Speaker 1: slow that down because I'm going to be able to 1402 01:20:18,479 --> 01:20:22,320 Speaker 1: take this Okay, Yes, I have no no, this is 1403 01:20:22,360 --> 01:20:25,640 Speaker 1: playing jazz. Okay, I'm saying then to convert it to 1404 01:20:25,680 --> 01:20:29,200 Speaker 1: principles so that somebody can look it up. Yes, okay, 1405 01:20:29,439 --> 01:20:31,280 Speaker 1: is going to be This is why it's so great 1406 01:20:31,640 --> 01:20:34,760 Speaker 1: because I can take what you've done and we can 1407 01:20:34,840 --> 01:20:37,559 Speaker 1: put it there and then somebody says, when I go 1408 01:20:37,640 --> 01:20:40,280 Speaker 1: for that moment, how do I push the button and 1409 01:20:40,360 --> 01:20:43,600 Speaker 1: get the answer. Yeah, right, it's gonna be okay. That 1410 01:20:43,720 --> 01:20:46,320 Speaker 1: that's this is this is an important thing. It's going 1411 01:20:46,400 --> 01:20:49,439 Speaker 1: to be fantastic, right, So I want to just keep 1412 01:20:49,479 --> 01:20:52,800 Speaker 1: pulling these things from you, right, Yeah, I love it. 1413 01:20:52,800 --> 01:20:55,120 Speaker 1: I can't wait to do more and and you know 1414 01:20:55,120 --> 01:20:57,200 Speaker 1: I won't. We won't go into depth on these decisions 1415 01:20:57,200 --> 01:21:00,360 Speaker 1: three and decision four. The third most important as we 1416 01:21:00,400 --> 01:21:01,680 Speaker 1: make in life is who do we give our love 1417 01:21:01,720 --> 01:21:04,120 Speaker 1: to and who do we receive love from? And it's 1418 01:21:04,120 --> 01:21:07,720 Speaker 1: a huge decision, the most maybe the most maybe the 1419 01:21:07,880 --> 01:21:10,200 Speaker 1: one of the most important, one of the most important decisions, 1420 01:21:10,240 --> 01:21:14,160 Speaker 1: the most important decision. I just just that I'm sorry 1421 01:21:14,160 --> 01:21:15,439 Speaker 1: to me. No, I want to hear from you. I 1422 01:21:15,840 --> 01:21:19,920 Speaker 1: was just at my one my son's weddings, and I 1423 01:21:19,960 --> 01:21:22,400 Speaker 1: was just describing what it is and the piece that 1424 01:21:22,520 --> 01:21:25,479 Speaker 1: I have, and I was making the point, which I 1425 01:21:25,479 --> 01:21:29,400 Speaker 1: truly believe, is who you pick as your life partner, 1426 01:21:29,880 --> 01:21:33,360 Speaker 1: the person you wake up with in the morning, and 1427 01:21:33,560 --> 01:21:37,200 Speaker 1: who was in that life partner is the most important 1428 01:21:37,240 --> 01:21:40,439 Speaker 1: decision you can make. Probably it's it's certainly right up there. 1429 01:21:40,800 --> 01:21:44,120 Speaker 1: So you're touching on that. So I didn't mean to no, no, 1430 01:21:44,160 --> 01:21:45,880 Speaker 1: I want to I mean no, hearing about your sons, 1431 01:21:46,760 --> 01:21:49,519 Speaker 1: I fully agree. That's what I hear you say. Yeah, 1432 01:21:49,560 --> 01:21:52,160 Speaker 1: so it's exactly that. And I think for me, I 1433 01:21:52,240 --> 01:21:56,280 Speaker 1: broke that down from from research, from coaches, from working 1434 01:21:56,320 --> 01:21:58,800 Speaker 1: with clients in that space who have been married for 1435 01:21:58,840 --> 01:22:00,600 Speaker 1: a lot longer than I have, and of course it 1436 01:22:00,600 --> 01:22:03,599 Speaker 1: would be wonderful to get your feedback, and wonderful Jim, 1437 01:22:03,640 --> 01:22:05,920 Speaker 1: who's both of our book agents as well, who's had 1438 01:22:05,920 --> 01:22:08,639 Speaker 1: a very long marriage himself, And so I'm always stress 1439 01:22:08,720 --> 01:22:10,800 Speaker 1: testing my ideas with Jim. I'm saying, Jim, what do 1440 01:22:10,800 --> 01:22:13,120 Speaker 1: you think of this? But I came with three things. 1441 01:22:13,640 --> 01:22:16,599 Speaker 1: The first thing is this is the obvious one. It's 1442 01:22:16,600 --> 01:22:19,559 Speaker 1: like liking someone's personality. You have to like them, they 1443 01:22:19,600 --> 01:22:21,400 Speaker 1: have to like it. That's obvious. We know that there's 1444 01:22:21,400 --> 01:22:25,080 Speaker 1: a sense of compatibility more than just chemistry. I think 1445 01:22:25,080 --> 01:22:28,320 Speaker 1: people often I was liking recently an analogy of like 1446 01:22:28,400 --> 01:22:30,519 Speaker 1: chemistry is like a spark, Like you like a match. 1447 01:22:30,920 --> 01:22:32,960 Speaker 1: There's like the spark, you hit, the sound, you see 1448 01:22:33,000 --> 01:22:34,960 Speaker 1: the fire, but then the flame is going to burn out. 1449 01:22:34,960 --> 01:22:37,080 Speaker 1: The match is gonna last like this long. But if 1450 01:22:37,080 --> 01:22:39,360 Speaker 1: you use that match to burn a candle, that candle 1451 01:22:39,439 --> 01:22:41,519 Speaker 1: is going to give sent forever. It's gonna last, It's 1452 01:22:41,520 --> 01:22:44,719 Speaker 1: gonna burn and be beautiful for so many people to experience. 1453 01:22:44,760 --> 01:22:48,559 Speaker 1: So that's that compatibility piece. The second piece, which I 1454 01:22:48,560 --> 01:22:52,480 Speaker 1: think is rare, is like a deep awareness and respect 1455 01:22:52,600 --> 01:22:54,759 Speaker 1: for each other's values. So I think if you really 1456 01:22:54,760 --> 01:22:58,759 Speaker 1: love someone, they don't necessarily have the exact same values. 1457 01:22:58,840 --> 01:23:01,760 Speaker 1: I don't think they have. They have similar versions, but 1458 01:23:01,800 --> 01:23:05,720 Speaker 1: they're never exactly the same. And I think respecting and 1459 01:23:05,760 --> 01:23:09,400 Speaker 1: being aware and encouraging the other person towards their values 1460 01:23:09,479 --> 01:23:11,120 Speaker 1: is really healthy. So I always give the example of 1461 01:23:11,160 --> 01:23:13,759 Speaker 1: me and my wife. My wife her first value is family, 1462 01:23:13,800 --> 01:23:16,559 Speaker 1: that's her number one value, and my number one value 1463 01:23:16,600 --> 01:23:19,519 Speaker 1: is purpose. They're very different and they can be conflicting often. 1464 01:23:19,600 --> 01:23:20,880 Speaker 1: I want to be on a plane when we have 1465 01:23:20,880 --> 01:23:23,280 Speaker 1: a family event. I'm at an event when we're doing this. 1466 01:23:23,720 --> 01:23:26,639 Speaker 1: But we found a way of respecting each other's values 1467 01:23:26,800 --> 01:23:29,439 Speaker 1: and then showing each other that we respect it, but 1468 01:23:29,479 --> 01:23:31,840 Speaker 1: we're not forcing each other to have the same value 1469 01:23:31,880 --> 01:23:34,599 Speaker 1: because we're different people. And then the third and final 1470 01:23:34,680 --> 01:23:40,479 Speaker 1: one I found is a dedication to helping that person 1471 01:23:40,600 --> 01:23:43,200 Speaker 1: get to their goals, for them to reach their potential. 1472 01:23:43,560 --> 01:23:45,280 Speaker 1: That I love you so much that I'm going to 1473 01:23:45,360 --> 01:23:48,120 Speaker 1: help you get to your goal. Not my projection of 1474 01:23:48,160 --> 01:23:50,280 Speaker 1: who you should be or who I wish for you 1475 01:23:50,320 --> 01:23:51,720 Speaker 1: to be, but who you want to be. I'm going 1476 01:23:51,800 --> 01:23:54,000 Speaker 1: to help you because I think that's the greatest act 1477 01:23:54,000 --> 01:23:56,040 Speaker 1: of love is that if you really love someone, you 1478 01:23:56,080 --> 01:23:57,840 Speaker 1: want to see them become the best version. Well, I'm 1479 01:23:57,920 --> 01:24:00,800 Speaker 1: very excited about taking these and them in the writing 1480 01:24:00,800 --> 01:24:03,400 Speaker 1: and pushing the buttons. So everybody, I'm excited. And they're 1481 01:24:03,400 --> 01:24:05,120 Speaker 1: only my new book, Eight Rules of Love, so that 1482 01:24:05,160 --> 01:24:09,160 Speaker 1: comes out next year, Eight Rules of Love. Okay, it's interesting. 1483 01:24:09,800 --> 01:24:12,479 Speaker 1: And have you taken the test of five types of 1484 01:24:12,520 --> 01:24:15,320 Speaker 1: love that I have? Yes, yes, very good. It's a 1485 01:24:15,360 --> 01:24:18,920 Speaker 1: great test. Yeah, it was so interesting to see if 1486 01:24:19,200 --> 01:24:22,120 Speaker 1: we did it at family you know, yes, my son's 1487 01:24:22,200 --> 01:24:24,120 Speaker 1: daughter in laws. And what are yours? I'm interested? What 1488 01:24:24,160 --> 01:24:28,439 Speaker 1: are your love languages? I want? Well, i'm acts of 1489 01:24:28,560 --> 01:24:34,240 Speaker 1: love okay, acts of service, yeah, I am not the compliments, yes, yeah, 1490 01:24:34,320 --> 01:24:38,960 Speaker 1: no words of affirmations right right, yeah, don't give me 1491 01:24:38,960 --> 01:24:44,800 Speaker 1: the words. Good to know. And it's so interesting because, um, 1492 01:24:44,960 --> 01:24:48,439 Speaker 1: I see it all the time in our relationship. Yes, 1493 01:24:48,479 --> 01:24:52,599 Speaker 1: so being able to articulate that, yes, I forgot what 1494 01:24:52,640 --> 01:24:58,200 Speaker 1: the ones are. There's there's words of affirmation, such a gift, 1495 01:24:58,680 --> 01:25:03,439 Speaker 1: touch and time and time qualities yeah, quality time that's 1496 01:25:03,479 --> 01:25:06,320 Speaker 1: important too. But I see it when we did the 1497 01:25:06,360 --> 01:25:09,360 Speaker 1: little test, and we did it, we could see where 1498 01:25:09,600 --> 01:25:13,360 Speaker 1: sometimes it was going like that, Yes, yeah, oh yeah, completely, 1499 01:25:13,479 --> 01:25:16,599 Speaker 1: it could be totally opposite. Yeah. In other words, I'm 1500 01:25:17,000 --> 01:25:21,479 Speaker 1: I'm giving you something, yeah, and you're not appreciating it 1501 01:25:21,520 --> 01:25:25,200 Speaker 1: because you're looking for the other type exactly. And it's 1502 01:25:25,240 --> 01:25:29,840 Speaker 1: so handy to do, and these personality profile tests are 1503 01:25:29,960 --> 01:25:33,519 Speaker 1: valuable in finding out our nature and operating that way. 1504 01:25:33,560 --> 01:25:35,479 Speaker 1: So I'm looking forward to your book. No, thank you. 1505 01:25:35,520 --> 01:25:38,479 Speaker 1: I think what you're doing in extragal principles and putting 1506 01:25:38,520 --> 01:25:41,519 Speaker 1: them in one place, I think that's really special because, yeah, 1507 01:25:41,560 --> 01:25:43,280 Speaker 1: if I went through my first book and now my 1508 01:25:43,320 --> 01:25:46,360 Speaker 1: second book, there's so many principles in there, but like 1509 01:25:46,439 --> 01:25:49,000 Speaker 1: you said, you know you have to flick pages to 1510 01:25:49,040 --> 01:25:51,639 Speaker 1: find them. To be able to just search into an 1511 01:25:51,640 --> 01:25:55,000 Speaker 1: engine is a brilliant I created a what I call 1512 01:25:55,080 --> 01:25:59,759 Speaker 1: a coach and it's in this there's principles for action. 1513 01:26:00,080 --> 01:26:02,280 Speaker 1: And the way it works is because I was thinking, 1514 01:26:03,000 --> 01:26:05,920 Speaker 1: what do I need an answer to and then it 1515 01:26:05,960 --> 01:26:09,040 Speaker 1: gets you to the right prince. Yeah. Yeah, because if 1516 01:26:09,080 --> 01:26:12,439 Speaker 1: you have a book of principles, you don't have that access. 1517 01:26:13,400 --> 01:26:18,080 Speaker 1: So the app is needed to be able to say, okay, 1518 01:26:18,240 --> 01:26:24,040 Speaker 1: here I am, I'm in this situation poem button get 1519 01:26:24,080 --> 01:26:26,840 Speaker 1: the right ones because you'll never find them, You'll never 1520 01:26:26,920 --> 01:26:29,599 Speaker 1: raise that book again. Yeah, why not use it? Yeah? 1521 01:26:29,640 --> 01:26:33,800 Speaker 1: Absolutely much quicker and easily accessible. And I think the 1522 01:26:34,120 --> 01:26:35,800 Speaker 1: fourth one to finish it off, to finish of my 1523 01:26:36,240 --> 01:26:38,880 Speaker 1: piece at least, was the fourth most important decision in 1524 01:26:38,920 --> 01:26:40,800 Speaker 1: the world is that we make in our lives is 1525 01:26:41,240 --> 01:26:42,960 Speaker 1: how do we serve the world? How do we how 1526 01:26:42,960 --> 01:26:44,599 Speaker 1: do we help the world. And it's interesting to hear 1527 01:26:44,600 --> 01:26:48,080 Speaker 1: you because those four decisions that I talked about, they 1528 01:26:48,160 --> 01:26:50,519 Speaker 1: moved through the four stages of life as defined by 1529 01:26:50,560 --> 01:26:52,360 Speaker 1: the Vaders, which is what I studied as a monk. 1530 01:26:52,880 --> 01:26:56,479 Speaker 1: And so the four stages which I've reconfigured into my 1531 01:26:56,560 --> 01:27:03,559 Speaker 1: language a love yourself, love, heal from pain, and then 1532 01:27:03,600 --> 01:27:06,080 Speaker 1: love the world. And I feel like that's the journey 1533 01:27:06,080 --> 01:27:08,040 Speaker 1: that we're being encouraged to go on in life. Is 1534 01:27:08,400 --> 01:27:10,320 Speaker 1: we first have to learn to love ourselves. Second, we 1535 01:27:10,400 --> 01:27:14,680 Speaker 1: learn to love others, wives, kids, families. Third, we have 1536 01:27:14,680 --> 01:27:17,600 Speaker 1: to actually heal from the pain of love, because sometimes 1537 01:27:18,120 --> 01:27:21,120 Speaker 1: love can you know, there's a few thorns along the way, 1538 01:27:21,160 --> 01:27:23,120 Speaker 1: there's a few challenges, and I feel sometimes we hold 1539 01:27:23,120 --> 01:27:25,920 Speaker 1: onto that bitterness, and when you cure that bitterness, you 1540 01:27:25,960 --> 01:27:28,240 Speaker 1: actually get the ability to love everyone. Love everyone you 1541 01:27:28,320 --> 01:27:30,360 Speaker 1: meet and love the world. So the fourth stage is 1542 01:27:30,360 --> 01:27:31,920 Speaker 1: how do we learn to serve the world, how do 1543 01:27:31,960 --> 01:27:34,960 Speaker 1: we contribute to the world, which you're demonstrating at this 1544 01:27:35,000 --> 01:27:36,280 Speaker 1: stage in your life where you're like, I want to 1545 01:27:36,280 --> 01:27:38,519 Speaker 1: give back, I want to I want to help. And 1546 01:27:38,600 --> 01:27:41,760 Speaker 1: so that's the fourth one, and it's so wise. I 1547 01:27:41,800 --> 01:27:46,679 Speaker 1: think that I didn't really appreciate in the middle part 1548 01:27:46,720 --> 01:27:51,519 Speaker 1: of my life the power of love. I think that 1549 01:27:51,560 --> 01:27:55,479 Speaker 1: there's accomplishment and your focus in accomplishment. Yeah, and sometimes 1550 01:27:55,520 --> 01:27:59,840 Speaker 1: that has conflict, and you do the conflict, but you 1551 01:28:00,200 --> 01:28:07,759 Speaker 1: don't realize how enjoyable love is, how enjoyable giving love 1552 01:28:07,880 --> 01:28:13,000 Speaker 1: is and receiving love is, or being in a loving community, 1553 01:28:13,520 --> 01:28:16,520 Speaker 1: which is also one of the reasons that the environment 1554 01:28:16,600 --> 01:28:21,439 Speaker 1: that I perceive now is so repugnant to me because 1555 01:28:21,479 --> 01:28:24,240 Speaker 1: it has so much the opposite of love. It has 1556 01:28:24,280 --> 01:28:26,479 Speaker 1: so much hate, it has so much anger, it has 1557 01:28:26,520 --> 01:28:30,840 Speaker 1: so much fighting in it that's so destructive, that's so toxic. 1558 01:28:31,320 --> 01:28:35,719 Speaker 1: So that love and a society that it has that Oh, 1559 01:28:35,760 --> 01:28:38,439 Speaker 1: it is true that the greatest joy you get is 1560 01:28:38,479 --> 01:28:42,640 Speaker 1: that experience of helping others and them and the connections 1561 01:28:42,720 --> 01:28:46,479 Speaker 1: and all of that, and it produces an environment that 1562 01:28:46,520 --> 01:28:49,240 Speaker 1: you want to be in. Absolutely absolutely, and I think 1563 01:28:49,280 --> 01:28:53,720 Speaker 1: that for those who are listening and love feels ethereal 1564 01:28:53,840 --> 01:28:56,439 Speaker 1: or elusive, I think as a basic for me, love 1565 01:28:56,560 --> 01:28:59,920 Speaker 1: is like safety plus understanding. Right. If someone feels safe 1566 01:29:00,280 --> 01:29:03,439 Speaker 1: and someone feels understood, that is the beginning of love. 1567 01:29:03,479 --> 01:29:06,439 Speaker 1: It isn't love in itself, but people need to feel 1568 01:29:06,439 --> 01:29:08,200 Speaker 1: a sense like I feel safe with you and I 1569 01:29:08,240 --> 01:29:11,040 Speaker 1: feel understood by you. You know, that's the beginnings of 1570 01:29:11,040 --> 01:29:14,599 Speaker 1: that feeling. And in a workplace, safety and understanding are 1571 01:29:14,720 --> 01:29:18,559 Speaker 1: very core aspects that could easily be implemented, and even 1572 01:29:18,600 --> 01:29:23,400 Speaker 1: in a relationship. My view of what love is is 1573 01:29:23,439 --> 01:29:29,919 Speaker 1: that I feel what you feel so that it brings 1574 01:29:30,040 --> 01:29:35,840 Speaker 1: me happiness. Yeah, because you have a relationship that ah, 1575 01:29:35,880 --> 01:29:41,320 Speaker 1: you're well, yes, you're happy. Yes, and that brings me happiness. Yes, 1576 01:29:41,439 --> 01:29:44,439 Speaker 1: that's yeah, that's beautiful. Yeah. Yeah. Feeling other people's pain, 1577 01:29:44,520 --> 01:29:47,120 Speaker 1: feeling other people's love, like being able to have that 1578 01:29:47,200 --> 01:29:50,479 Speaker 1: ability it hurts me, yeah, if it brings me joy, 1579 01:29:50,800 --> 01:29:53,879 Speaker 1: yeah yeah, yeah, that is love. That is really beautiful 1580 01:29:53,920 --> 01:29:56,639 Speaker 1: and yeah, I think that's what It's so crazy. We've 1581 01:29:56,680 --> 01:30:00,240 Speaker 1: talked about so many different topics that are and it's 1582 01:30:00,240 --> 01:30:03,200 Speaker 1: amazing how how love is that one unifying force that 1583 01:30:03,240 --> 01:30:07,160 Speaker 1: we're all seeking for. But it's almost like there's just 1584 01:30:07,240 --> 01:30:12,559 Speaker 1: so many We've created so many barriers to love because 1585 01:30:12,600 --> 01:30:15,840 Speaker 1: we think love makes us weaker to some degree. We 1586 01:30:15,920 --> 01:30:19,040 Speaker 1: feel that feeling someone else's pain or feeling someone else's 1587 01:30:19,120 --> 01:30:21,960 Speaker 1: joy somehow takes it away from us, and think, like 1588 01:30:22,000 --> 01:30:25,160 Speaker 1: a monk, I call it. I say that there are 1589 01:30:25,240 --> 01:30:29,639 Speaker 1: unlimited seats in the theater of happiness, But we're living 1590 01:30:29,640 --> 01:30:31,400 Speaker 1: in a world that has made us believe there are 1591 01:30:31,400 --> 01:30:34,960 Speaker 1: a finite number of seats. Because now, if you want 1592 01:30:34,960 --> 01:30:36,760 Speaker 1: to go see a big sports game, there are a 1593 01:30:36,800 --> 01:30:39,080 Speaker 1: finite number of seats. There are a finite number of 1594 01:30:39,160 --> 01:30:42,479 Speaker 1: VIP tickets, and so that mindset has made us believe 1595 01:30:42,520 --> 01:30:45,080 Speaker 1: that even in the theater of happiness, there are a 1596 01:30:45,160 --> 01:30:48,720 Speaker 1: finite number of seats. But be reassured that your name 1597 01:30:49,280 --> 01:30:51,600 Speaker 1: is on a seat and you can claim it and 1598 01:30:51,640 --> 01:30:53,759 Speaker 1: no one else can have that seat. It's there waiting 1599 01:30:53,760 --> 01:30:56,679 Speaker 1: for you. And well, for me, love works in that 1600 01:30:57,400 --> 01:31:01,799 Speaker 1: it reinforces my well being and it reinforces my joy 1601 01:31:02,600 --> 01:31:07,000 Speaker 1: because it's part of that evolutionary process because I also 1602 01:31:07,120 --> 01:31:11,120 Speaker 1: get what your happiness is, and that's the sense because 1603 01:31:11,160 --> 01:31:15,400 Speaker 1: it's interesting. Psychologists in terms of what has produced happiness, 1604 01:31:16,400 --> 01:31:19,639 Speaker 1: they show that past a certain basic level of income 1605 01:31:20,080 --> 01:31:25,360 Speaker 1: or money, there's not a correlation between happiness and money. Yes, 1606 01:31:26,360 --> 01:31:31,479 Speaker 1: the highest is community across societies. If you have a 1607 01:31:31,560 --> 01:31:36,880 Speaker 1: sense of community, Yeah, you have a higher level of happiness, 1608 01:31:36,920 --> 01:31:40,280 Speaker 1: You live longer, all of those things. That is love, 1609 01:31:40,400 --> 01:31:44,280 Speaker 1: that is connectivity. I think that's a real power. Yeah, 1610 01:31:44,400 --> 01:31:47,559 Speaker 1: it's it's almost like saying like it's not about the journey, 1611 01:31:47,560 --> 01:31:50,280 Speaker 1: it's not about the destination, it's about community, Like that's 1612 01:31:50,280 --> 01:31:53,559 Speaker 1: the key thing. Meaningful work and meaningful relationships is a 1613 01:31:53,600 --> 01:31:57,160 Speaker 1: powerful combination. Yeah, well I could do this with so 1614 01:31:57,280 --> 01:31:59,600 Speaker 1: could I mean we can literally, I'm so glad you 1615 01:31:59,640 --> 01:32:02,200 Speaker 1: did this jazz right, Yeah, this is beautiful. I'm sorry 1616 01:32:02,200 --> 01:32:04,040 Speaker 1: happy that you flifted back on me. I got to 1617 01:32:04,080 --> 01:32:06,639 Speaker 1: share some things that I haven't really talked about in 1618 01:32:06,680 --> 01:32:10,840 Speaker 1: that way yet aspect more. Yes, I'm going to organize it. 1619 01:32:11,040 --> 01:32:13,720 Speaker 1: I want to help thee. Yeah, I'm more that we 1620 01:32:13,800 --> 01:32:15,840 Speaker 1: put those principles in a good way. I think that 1621 01:32:15,920 --> 01:32:18,360 Speaker 1: is such a genius idea. Honestly, I'm all in any 1622 01:32:18,400 --> 01:32:22,400 Speaker 1: any help and supple I can give to formatting, sharing, amplifying. 1623 01:32:22,439 --> 01:32:25,559 Speaker 1: I'm in great, it sounds incredible. Great, honestly, the world 1624 01:32:25,600 --> 01:32:27,880 Speaker 1: will be a better place. Yeah, I'm looking forward to that. 1625 01:32:28,000 --> 01:32:29,920 Speaker 1: What is it called? This is the app This is 1626 01:32:29,920 --> 01:32:31,639 Speaker 1: on the apple, This is separate to the end. Well, 1627 01:32:31,640 --> 01:32:34,400 Speaker 1: this is going to be built out on the appect. 1628 01:32:34,479 --> 01:32:36,800 Speaker 1: We have the means by which we can collect them. 1629 01:32:36,840 --> 01:32:40,240 Speaker 1: Now we haven't built the voting them up yet, so 1630 01:32:40,360 --> 01:32:43,960 Speaker 1: there's going to be a connected to this. Yeah. All 1631 01:32:44,000 --> 01:32:46,280 Speaker 1: people will input their principles and we're going to have 1632 01:32:46,360 --> 01:32:48,240 Speaker 1: all of these things and they can go on and 1633 01:32:48,280 --> 01:32:54,639 Speaker 1: they say Jay's principles. Yeah, that'll exist. That's so cool. Um, 1634 01:32:54,720 --> 01:32:57,000 Speaker 1: and take a clip of this tape and put it 1635 01:32:57,040 --> 01:32:59,320 Speaker 1: on or whatever it is so that people can see it. 1636 01:33:00,439 --> 01:33:03,240 Speaker 1: But the voting up was building, so that has to 1637 01:33:03,280 --> 01:33:06,759 Speaker 1: be built. That's brilliant. And we have a tool called 1638 01:33:06,760 --> 01:33:09,400 Speaker 1: the coach that will help to get them to the 1639 01:33:09,479 --> 01:33:11,599 Speaker 1: right principles. But that's got to be built up more. 1640 01:33:11,760 --> 01:33:14,000 Speaker 1: That's amazing. Well, we figure out the coach as well. 1641 01:33:14,040 --> 01:33:16,639 Speaker 1: There will be some synergies. There's oh, okay, i'll show 1642 01:33:16,640 --> 01:33:18,880 Speaker 1: you the show me that. Yeah, because we have the 1643 01:33:18,960 --> 01:33:21,760 Speaker 1: first version exactly, and I love your feedback and you're 1644 01:33:21,760 --> 01:33:24,160 Speaker 1: talking about how to do that incredible. Yeah, it's cool, 1645 01:33:24,320 --> 01:33:26,360 Speaker 1: amazing everyone who's been listening and watching, I hope you've 1646 01:33:26,439 --> 01:33:30,080 Speaker 1: enjoyed the jazz. I can't play any instruments anymore. I 1647 01:33:30,080 --> 01:33:31,760 Speaker 1: don't know if Ray still plays that. My dad was 1648 01:33:31,800 --> 01:33:35,120 Speaker 1: a jazz music really and I can't play. Yeah. I 1649 01:33:35,360 --> 01:33:37,040 Speaker 1: learned the piano and the drum ket now I can't 1650 01:33:37,040 --> 01:33:39,519 Speaker 1: play either. But either way, I hope you enjoyed the music. 1651 01:33:39,800 --> 01:33:42,320 Speaker 1: I'm so grateful to sit down with Ray to have 1652 01:33:42,360 --> 01:33:45,000 Speaker 1: this free flowing conversation. These are my favorite conversations where 1653 01:33:45,000 --> 01:33:49,040 Speaker 1: I literally feel like we're just co creating, collaborating, inventing together. 1654 01:33:49,800 --> 01:33:51,800 Speaker 1: I highly recommend that you grab a copy of the 1655 01:33:51,840 --> 01:33:55,599 Speaker 1: journal My Principles. It's out right now. We've referred to 1656 01:33:55,760 --> 01:33:59,080 Speaker 1: a lot of different things, books, and apps in the conversation. 1657 01:33:59,280 --> 01:34:01,280 Speaker 1: We'll put them all in the show notes so you 1658 01:34:01,280 --> 01:34:03,439 Speaker 1: have access to each of them. We have interviews with 1659 01:34:03,520 --> 01:34:07,040 Speaker 1: Ray on Principles, You Changing World Order and Principles as 1660 01:34:07,040 --> 01:34:08,640 Speaker 1: well on the show, so if you want to go 1661 01:34:08,720 --> 01:34:11,479 Speaker 1: back and reference those, please feel free. A big thank 1662 01:34:11,520 --> 01:34:13,439 Speaker 1: you to Ray for being so generous with your time. 1663 01:34:13,479 --> 01:34:15,920 Speaker 1: I think we've been together for a couple of hours. 1664 01:34:16,160 --> 01:34:20,200 Speaker 1: I'm so thank you Jay. This is fun to play. 1665 01:34:19,520 --> 01:34:20,880 Speaker 1: J Ryan Day