1 00:00:00,440 --> 00:00:03,000 Speaker 1: It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if 2 00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:06,080 Speaker 1: you need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting, and more, 3 00:00:06,360 --> 00:00:09,399 Speaker 1: please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HAARBFM dot com 4 00:00:09,400 --> 00:00:12,600 Speaker 1: by clicking submit Strawberry Letter, we could be reading your 5 00:00:12,680 --> 00:00:14,800 Speaker 1: letter live on the air, just like we're going to 6 00:00:14,840 --> 00:00:19,000 Speaker 1: read this one right here, right now, right now. Buckle 7 00:00:19,120 --> 00:00:20,560 Speaker 1: up and hold on time. We got it for you. 8 00:00:20,640 --> 00:00:23,919 Speaker 1: Here it is is Strawberry Letter all right now you 9 00:00:24,079 --> 00:00:26,840 Speaker 1: thank you. Subject. Am I just a rebound with a 10 00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:30,760 Speaker 1: nice apartment. Dear Stephen Shirley. I am twenty eight years 11 00:00:30,800 --> 00:00:34,199 Speaker 1: old and my boyfriend is twenty seven. He was an 12 00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:36,919 Speaker 1: old flame that I had in school, and I decided 13 00:00:36,920 --> 00:00:40,120 Speaker 1: to rekindle things with him. He pursued me, and I 14 00:00:40,280 --> 00:00:43,960 Speaker 1: finally gave in. I realized he was the missing piece 15 00:00:43,960 --> 00:00:46,160 Speaker 1: in my life and he told me the same thing. 16 00:00:46,600 --> 00:00:50,360 Speaker 1: He moved in with me the second week of our relationship, 17 00:00:50,440 --> 00:00:53,600 Speaker 1: and we were learning to love each other again. All 18 00:00:53,760 --> 00:00:56,880 Speaker 1: was well until he took me to his family reunion. 19 00:00:57,320 --> 00:01:00,320 Speaker 1: His ex girlfriend was there and he knew she would 20 00:01:00,360 --> 00:01:03,600 Speaker 1: be there. He has a daughter with her, so she 21 00:01:03,680 --> 00:01:07,000 Speaker 1: came with his daughter. My boyfriend's mama said that she 22 00:01:07,040 --> 00:01:09,959 Speaker 1: doesn't think it's appropriate that the ex girlfriend came, and 23 00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:12,160 Speaker 1: I need to tell my man to stop playing in 24 00:01:12,160 --> 00:01:15,119 Speaker 1: my face. I didn't trip because they have a child together, 25 00:01:15,400 --> 00:01:18,720 Speaker 1: but his mama put something on my mind. My boyfriend 26 00:01:18,800 --> 00:01:21,800 Speaker 1: was living with his mom when we started dating. He 27 00:01:21,840 --> 00:01:24,920 Speaker 1: said that he said that this girlfriend had put him 28 00:01:24,959 --> 00:01:27,800 Speaker 1: out and he'd been at his mom's house for a year. 29 00:01:28,280 --> 00:01:30,560 Speaker 1: When we got back together, I asked him if it 30 00:01:30,640 --> 00:01:34,360 Speaker 1: was over, if he was over his ex, because he 31 00:01:34,480 --> 00:01:37,399 Speaker 1: talked about her a lot. He held me close and 32 00:01:37,560 --> 00:01:40,600 Speaker 1: cried as he poured his heart out to me, telling 33 00:01:40,640 --> 00:01:44,720 Speaker 1: me how he feels about me. I believed everything he said, 34 00:01:45,080 --> 00:01:47,720 Speaker 1: but I've noticed that he posts more pictures of us 35 00:01:47,760 --> 00:01:50,480 Speaker 1: than I do, and I think that's strange for a 36 00:01:50,520 --> 00:01:54,000 Speaker 1: man to do. I recall how he was overdoing things 37 00:01:54,080 --> 00:01:57,320 Speaker 1: at the family reunion. He kept calling me baby, and 38 00:01:57,400 --> 00:02:00,360 Speaker 1: he kissed on me as much as he could. I 39 00:02:00,360 --> 00:02:02,440 Speaker 1: don't want to be a rebound, and I don't want 40 00:02:02,440 --> 00:02:05,080 Speaker 1: to be housing him because he didn't have anywhere else 41 00:02:05,120 --> 00:02:08,160 Speaker 1: to go. Should I trust my intuition or am I 42 00:02:08,320 --> 00:02:12,120 Speaker 1: creating unnecessary drama in my head? Is he acting like 43 00:02:12,160 --> 00:02:14,120 Speaker 1: he's so in love with me? Just to make his 44 00:02:14,320 --> 00:02:18,079 Speaker 1: ex jealous. Okay, I'm gonna be honest with you. Yes, 45 00:02:18,120 --> 00:02:20,320 Speaker 1: he could be using you for a place to stay 46 00:02:20,440 --> 00:02:23,240 Speaker 1: and to make his ex jealous. He could be. But 47 00:02:23,320 --> 00:02:25,839 Speaker 1: whose fault is this? I mean, this is yours? Who 48 00:02:25,880 --> 00:02:28,720 Speaker 1: allows someone to move in with them two weeks into 49 00:02:28,760 --> 00:02:32,560 Speaker 1: their relationship. You dated him in school. You don't know 50 00:02:32,600 --> 00:02:35,400 Speaker 1: the person he is now. You didn't give yourself time 51 00:02:35,440 --> 00:02:37,959 Speaker 1: to find out. Now the questions you should have asked 52 00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:42,000 Speaker 1: prior to his moving in, you're asking after the fact. 53 00:02:42,360 --> 00:02:44,880 Speaker 1: You're now living with a man who went from his 54 00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:48,080 Speaker 1: mom to his baby mama, back to his mom for 55 00:02:48,120 --> 00:02:52,120 Speaker 1: a whole year, and now to you, on to you 56 00:02:52,200 --> 00:02:55,640 Speaker 1: after two weeks of being with you just in school, 57 00:02:55,720 --> 00:02:57,800 Speaker 1: like you said, And he has a child, so you 58 00:02:57,840 --> 00:02:59,480 Speaker 1: know the child is going to be there on his 59 00:02:59,520 --> 00:03:02,800 Speaker 1: custody dates. So I have to ask because you didn't say, 60 00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:05,880 Speaker 1: is he contributing to the household? I mean, you said 61 00:03:05,919 --> 00:03:08,520 Speaker 1: you're learning to love each other again, but what are 62 00:03:08,560 --> 00:03:11,400 Speaker 1: your plans together? I mean, have you discussed any of 63 00:03:11,440 --> 00:03:14,360 Speaker 1: this since he's been there? The extra kissing at the 64 00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:17,560 Speaker 1: family reunion, his constant talking about his ex, and all 65 00:03:17,600 --> 00:03:20,320 Speaker 1: of the posting of the two of you by him. 66 00:03:21,080 --> 00:03:23,959 Speaker 1: That's raised red flags, and now you're feeling some kind 67 00:03:23,960 --> 00:03:27,360 Speaker 1: of way. You guys moved very fast in this relationship, 68 00:03:27,360 --> 00:03:30,120 Speaker 1: and now you're second guessing everything. So I say, trust 69 00:03:30,200 --> 00:03:33,000 Speaker 1: what you're feeling. It's not too late to change things. 70 00:03:33,040 --> 00:03:35,320 Speaker 1: You are not married to this man. There's nothing wrong 71 00:03:35,360 --> 00:03:37,560 Speaker 1: with him moving out. If you need your space to 72 00:03:37,640 --> 00:03:39,520 Speaker 1: sort things out, Steve. 73 00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:41,560 Speaker 2: Let me just get right to it. We ain't got 74 00:03:41,560 --> 00:03:43,880 Speaker 2: to mess around. I probably won't even need two breaks 75 00:03:43,920 --> 00:03:47,080 Speaker 2: to discuss this letter. The name subject is am I 76 00:03:47,160 --> 00:03:50,360 Speaker 2: a rebound with a nice apartment. My only question in 77 00:03:50,440 --> 00:03:54,640 Speaker 2: this whole letter is how come he always needs somewhere 78 00:03:54,680 --> 00:04:00,440 Speaker 2: to stay? U? Ha? This man ain't ever got where 79 00:04:00,920 --> 00:04:03,680 Speaker 2: he called home? How come he always got some were 80 00:04:03,680 --> 00:04:06,360 Speaker 2: to stay? Hey? He always needs some were to stay? 81 00:04:06,440 --> 00:04:09,320 Speaker 2: I don't understand this and what you want with him? 82 00:04:10,320 --> 00:04:13,240 Speaker 2: You twenty eight your boyfriend in twenty seven. He was 83 00:04:13,280 --> 00:04:16,760 Speaker 2: an old flame I had in school. Why y'all didn't 84 00:04:16,839 --> 00:04:20,920 Speaker 2: keep flaming? See? See that? What killed me about y'all? 85 00:04:21,360 --> 00:04:24,080 Speaker 2: Y'all find these old flames? You gotta ask him say 86 00:04:24,200 --> 00:04:28,919 Speaker 2: why didn't y'all keep flaming? What fizzled it out? I 87 00:04:29,040 --> 00:04:32,599 Speaker 2: decided to rekindle. Rekindle, let me relight the flame with him. 88 00:04:32,960 --> 00:04:37,119 Speaker 2: He pursued me. I finally gave in. Then you said, 89 00:04:37,160 --> 00:04:39,480 Speaker 2: I realized he was the missing peace in my life, 90 00:04:39,520 --> 00:04:42,839 Speaker 2: and he told me the same thing. Really, so he 91 00:04:42,960 --> 00:04:45,440 Speaker 2: moved in with me the second week of our relationship, 92 00:04:45,839 --> 00:04:48,839 Speaker 2: and we were learning to love each other again. Oh 93 00:04:48,880 --> 00:04:51,240 Speaker 2: so you moved in to learn to love each other 94 00:04:51,240 --> 00:04:54,600 Speaker 2: again instead of loving each other again then moving in? Okay, 95 00:04:55,680 --> 00:04:59,960 Speaker 2: all was well until he took me to his family reunion. 96 00:05:01,680 --> 00:05:02,679 Speaker 2: And here where the problems. 97 00:05:02,720 --> 00:05:02,880 Speaker 1: Though. 98 00:05:03,040 --> 00:05:07,000 Speaker 2: His ex girlfriend was there and he knew she would 99 00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:10,359 Speaker 2: be there. He got a daughter with her, so she 100 00:05:10,520 --> 00:05:14,640 Speaker 2: came with the daughter your boyfriend. Mama said, she don't 101 00:05:14,640 --> 00:05:17,360 Speaker 2: think it's appropriate that the ex girlfriend came. Why she 102 00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:19,320 Speaker 2: had the family you and she ain't in the family 103 00:05:19,440 --> 00:05:23,560 Speaker 2: that y'all wasn't even made. You need to tell your 104 00:05:23,640 --> 00:05:26,480 Speaker 2: man to stop playing in your face. I didn't trip 105 00:05:26,680 --> 00:05:30,240 Speaker 2: because they have a child together. But this mama had 106 00:05:30,279 --> 00:05:34,760 Speaker 2: put something on my mind. My boyfriend that he would 107 00:05:34,800 --> 00:05:38,880 Speaker 2: go was living with his mom when we started dating. 108 00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:47,720 Speaker 2: Red Flag twenty eight year old man living with his mama. 109 00:05:49,120 --> 00:05:53,800 Speaker 2: When y'all started dating, I got news for you. When 110 00:05:53,800 --> 00:05:59,719 Speaker 2: he was in school, he was living with his mama. 111 00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:07,520 Speaker 2: Now he twenty eight, he living with his mama. Y'all 112 00:06:07,560 --> 00:06:12,159 Speaker 2: started dating, and two weeks later he lived with you. 113 00:06:14,560 --> 00:06:17,760 Speaker 2: Here's my original question when I first got this letter, 114 00:06:19,560 --> 00:06:25,800 Speaker 2: why he always needs somewhere to stay? M What decisions 115 00:06:25,839 --> 00:06:29,240 Speaker 2: has this nothing ask dude made where he ain't ever 116 00:06:29,760 --> 00:06:34,680 Speaker 2: got nowhere to stay? He ain't got a key to 117 00:06:36,080 --> 00:06:38,480 Speaker 2: hang on, no lease with his name on it. 118 00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:41,600 Speaker 1: We'll have part two of your response coming up at. 119 00:06:41,560 --> 00:06:44,559 Speaker 2: After the hour. 120 00:06:45,560 --> 00:06:48,680 Speaker 1: Today's strawberry letter, subject that might just rebound with a 121 00:06:48,800 --> 00:06:51,520 Speaker 1: nice apartment. We'll get back into it right after this. 122 00:06:51,839 --> 00:06:56,160 Speaker 1: You're listening Morning show? All right, Come on, Steve, let's 123 00:06:56,160 --> 00:06:58,640 Speaker 1: recap today's strawberry letter. The subject, Am I just to 124 00:06:58,680 --> 00:07:00,000 Speaker 1: rebound with the nice apartment? 125 00:07:00,839 --> 00:07:03,520 Speaker 2: Well, he would go again because I just saw something 126 00:07:03,560 --> 00:07:05,520 Speaker 2: on the break, y'all. Let me point it out. The 127 00:07:05,600 --> 00:07:09,040 Speaker 2: name of this letter should be why he ain't ever 128 00:07:09,400 --> 00:07:12,760 Speaker 2: got nowhere to stay? This is twenty eight year old woman. 129 00:07:12,840 --> 00:07:15,160 Speaker 2: She's dating a boyfriend of twenty seven. There was old 130 00:07:15,200 --> 00:07:18,480 Speaker 2: flames in school. Something caused it to fizzle out. They 131 00:07:18,600 --> 00:07:21,800 Speaker 2: ran up into each other. Recently, she rekindled things with him. 132 00:07:21,800 --> 00:07:24,640 Speaker 2: That means she lit the fire. He pursued me and 133 00:07:24,800 --> 00:07:27,520 Speaker 2: finally gave in. Well, it wasn't a long pursuit because 134 00:07:27,560 --> 00:07:30,040 Speaker 2: it was only two weeks. She realized he was a 135 00:07:30,120 --> 00:07:32,920 Speaker 2: missing piece in her life and she was a missing 136 00:07:32,960 --> 00:07:35,280 Speaker 2: piece in his life. That's what he told her. So 137 00:07:35,320 --> 00:07:39,400 Speaker 2: he moved in with me. The second week of our relationship, 138 00:07:42,800 --> 00:07:45,680 Speaker 2: we were learning to love each other again. Then they 139 00:07:45,760 --> 00:07:47,720 Speaker 2: finally thought it was going good till it took him 140 00:07:47,760 --> 00:07:50,440 Speaker 2: to the family reunion and his ex girlfriend was there 141 00:07:50,480 --> 00:07:53,600 Speaker 2: and they happened to have a baby together. Your boyfriend's 142 00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:55,920 Speaker 2: mama told you he need to quit playing in your 143 00:07:56,000 --> 00:07:58,520 Speaker 2: face because there was no reason for the girl to 144 00:07:58,560 --> 00:08:04,520 Speaker 2: be there at the family reunion. So you didn't trip 145 00:08:04,560 --> 00:08:06,720 Speaker 2: because you got a child together. But his mama put 146 00:08:06,760 --> 00:08:10,400 Speaker 2: something on your mind. But listen to this. My boyfriend 147 00:08:10,480 --> 00:08:14,560 Speaker 2: was living with his mom when we started dating. What 148 00:08:14,640 --> 00:08:19,520 Speaker 2: the hell? He said that his girlfriend here we go, 149 00:08:19,920 --> 00:08:25,080 Speaker 2: had put him out, so now he was living with 150 00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:31,200 Speaker 2: another person. She put him out, so he didn't live 151 00:08:31,240 --> 00:08:35,640 Speaker 2: with his mama when he was in school. Then he 152 00:08:36,080 --> 00:08:40,040 Speaker 2: lived with this girl till she put him out. Now 153 00:08:40,080 --> 00:08:43,880 Speaker 2: he lived with you, and he been his mom's house 154 00:08:43,920 --> 00:08:48,040 Speaker 2: for a year, a whole year. When we got I 155 00:08:48,120 --> 00:08:50,200 Speaker 2: asked him if he was over his ex, because he 156 00:08:50,240 --> 00:08:55,280 Speaker 2: talks about her a lot. Now, Hi, go okay, Now, 157 00:08:55,280 --> 00:08:57,520 Speaker 2: if I'm talking about my ex to a woman, hit 158 00:08:57,559 --> 00:09:00,400 Speaker 2: the one thing I ain't finna do. He held me 159 00:09:00,600 --> 00:09:04,320 Speaker 2: close and cried as he poured his heart out to me. 160 00:09:04,800 --> 00:09:09,080 Speaker 2: Why the hell am I holding you close crying talking 161 00:09:09,080 --> 00:09:09,800 Speaker 2: about my ex? 162 00:09:12,400 --> 00:09:13,040 Speaker 1: How that son? 163 00:09:16,760 --> 00:09:20,360 Speaker 2: What's this dude? What kind of man do you think 164 00:09:20,400 --> 00:09:24,960 Speaker 2: you have? Because obviously everybody keep figuring he ain't a man, 165 00:09:26,480 --> 00:09:28,800 Speaker 2: even his mama, because mama keep letting him come back 166 00:09:28,840 --> 00:09:32,080 Speaker 2: home because she got to take care of her baby. 167 00:09:33,040 --> 00:09:34,480 Speaker 1: Oh lord, mess you. 168 00:09:35,920 --> 00:09:38,720 Speaker 2: I believed everything he said, but I've noticed that he 169 00:09:38,840 --> 00:09:42,120 Speaker 2: posts more pictures of us than I do. I think 170 00:09:42,120 --> 00:09:45,400 Speaker 2: that's strange for a man to do. I recall he 171 00:09:45,520 --> 00:09:47,960 Speaker 2: was overdoing things at the firm of union, kept calling 172 00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:50,880 Speaker 2: me baby, kissed on me as much as he could. 173 00:09:51,440 --> 00:09:53,600 Speaker 2: I don't want to be a rebound and I don't 174 00:09:53,600 --> 00:09:56,080 Speaker 2: want to be housing him because he didn't have anywhere 175 00:09:56,080 --> 00:10:00,000 Speaker 2: else to go. What the hell you think you doing? Yeah, 176 00:10:00,559 --> 00:10:02,760 Speaker 2: he lived at a mama's house when he was in school. 177 00:10:03,240 --> 00:10:05,800 Speaker 2: He had a baby with another girl. He lived at 178 00:10:05,840 --> 00:10:09,560 Speaker 2: her house till she put him out. Now he went 179 00:10:09,559 --> 00:10:11,720 Speaker 2: from putting him out to living back at his mama's 180 00:10:11,720 --> 00:10:13,520 Speaker 2: house for a year. And now you done took him 181 00:10:13,559 --> 00:10:15,560 Speaker 2: in after two weeks and he lived in your house. 182 00:10:17,120 --> 00:10:18,880 Speaker 2: You don't want to be a rebound because he ain't 183 00:10:18,920 --> 00:10:20,600 Speaker 2: got nowhere else to go. He ain't got nowhere to go, 184 00:10:20,679 --> 00:10:25,480 Speaker 2: He ain't got no house. He always at somebody else's house. 185 00:10:26,120 --> 00:10:28,880 Speaker 2: Should I trust my intuition, all my creed? None necessary? 186 00:10:28,960 --> 00:10:30,880 Speaker 2: Drop me in my head. That's the problem with women, 187 00:10:31,040 --> 00:10:34,680 Speaker 2: y'all won't trust your intuition. God gave you intuition to 188 00:10:34,720 --> 00:10:38,560 Speaker 2: protect you from us, from the stupidity and the hunting 189 00:10:38,640 --> 00:10:43,080 Speaker 2: tactics of men. That is what intuition is for. But 190 00:10:43,120 --> 00:10:47,840 Speaker 2: then when you have intuition, you ignore it. Is he 191 00:10:48,040 --> 00:10:50,480 Speaker 2: acting like he's so in love with me just to 192 00:10:50,559 --> 00:10:56,000 Speaker 2: make his ex jealous? Could be? I think he is. 193 00:10:56,880 --> 00:10:58,760 Speaker 2: But you know why I really think he's so in 194 00:10:58,800 --> 00:11:02,520 Speaker 2: love with you? Why? Because you got somewhere to stay 195 00:11:02,800 --> 00:11:06,440 Speaker 2: and he don't. So it's he to stay with you 196 00:11:06,880 --> 00:11:09,800 Speaker 2: because he can't go back to that girlfriend's house. All 197 00:11:09,840 --> 00:11:12,920 Speaker 2: he got to go back to his mama's house. Now, 198 00:11:13,040 --> 00:11:25,199 Speaker 2: mama can cook. But if mama don't fry bacon, you do. 199 00:11:25,280 --> 00:11:26,640 Speaker 2: I'm so sick of this letter. 200 00:11:27,840 --> 00:11:28,520 Speaker 1: What you want me? 201 00:11:28,760 --> 00:11:33,199 Speaker 2: Sure need to tell you what, lady, what you wanted 202 00:11:33,280 --> 00:11:38,920 Speaker 2: to tell you? You ain't got nothing. He's not a man's man, 203 00:11:39,040 --> 00:11:43,320 Speaker 2: and he's not a woman's man. You have a mama's boy, 204 00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:47,000 Speaker 2: and all he do is when things go wrong, go 205 00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:49,360 Speaker 2: back to his mama's house. He was at of mama's 206 00:11:49,360 --> 00:11:53,479 Speaker 2: house for a year. Who want to stay with their mama. 207 00:11:53,679 --> 00:11:56,080 Speaker 1: After the baby? Mama put him on there. 208 00:11:56,120 --> 00:11:57,640 Speaker 2: You're twenty seven years old, told him I want to 209 00:11:57,640 --> 00:12:05,800 Speaker 2: stay with their mama? Or shouldn't Nobody listen to me, ladies. 210 00:12:07,280 --> 00:12:11,520 Speaker 2: If a man does not have the ability to take 211 00:12:11,559 --> 00:12:19,680 Speaker 2: care of himself, how do you think he gonna take 212 00:12:19,720 --> 00:12:25,920 Speaker 2: care of y'all? You and a baby? He can't take 213 00:12:25,920 --> 00:12:29,680 Speaker 2: care of himself. Now, I got men who fall on 214 00:12:29,760 --> 00:12:32,800 Speaker 2: hard times. I got that. But let him get back up. 215 00:12:33,360 --> 00:12:36,439 Speaker 2: Support him to get back up. But you ain't got 216 00:12:36,559 --> 00:12:40,960 Speaker 2: movie me in now, let him show you some skill 217 00:12:41,120 --> 00:12:45,080 Speaker 2: set of recovery. If you don't, you're gonna enable him. 218 00:12:45,360 --> 00:12:49,320 Speaker 2: That's all. So the name of this letter is why 219 00:12:49,360 --> 00:12:52,800 Speaker 2: he ain't ever got no where to stay. That's the 220 00:12:52,920 --> 00:12:56,280 Speaker 2: name of a letter and the reason he ain't got 221 00:12:56,280 --> 00:12:58,520 Speaker 2: nowhere to stay because all the women in his life 222 00:12:58,559 --> 00:12:59,360 Speaker 2: provide him a. 223 00:12:59,320 --> 00:13:03,960 Speaker 1: Place to stay, all right. Leave your comments on Today's 224 00:13:03,960 --> 00:13:07,080 Speaker 1: Strawberry Letter on Instagram and Facebook at Steve Harvey FM, 225 00:13:07,080 --> 00:13:10,160 Speaker 1: and check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on the free 226 00:13:10,240 --> 00:13:13,320 Speaker 1: iHeartRadio app. And coming up next, Tommy is in for 227 00:13:13,480 --> 00:13:17,000 Speaker 1: Junior with news on Brett Farv. We'll talk about it 228 00:13:17,120 --> 00:13:20,840 Speaker 1: right after this. You're listening to Dave Harvey Morning Show.