Speaker 1: Hey, hey, hey.
Speaker 2: We're back. We're rusty and happy New Year. I missed
Speaker 2: you so much.
Speaker 3: Now.
Speaker 1: First of all, I wish you guys could see because
Speaker 1: Mandy has her hair straight end. I feel like, you
Speaker 1: know what I want to start. Call this Mandy cam hm.
Speaker 1: So Mandy's hair girl.
Speaker 2: In my pretty school. Uh pbs special battery.
Speaker 1: But her hair is so long and so full luxurious.
Speaker 1: It's giving, pelt, it's giving, thick, it's giving.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it looks so beautiful straight.
Speaker 2: Let me show you what it's First of all, for
Speaker 2: you guys to know, happy New Year. This feels like
Speaker 2: a new year, New me situation. I don't really usually
Speaker 2: believe in that ship. However, if you haven't tried five
Speaker 2: day a week daycare for you were seventh month old baby,
Speaker 2: is this very specific advice? Try it? Because I feel
Speaker 2: brand fucking oh my god, the way that I just
Speaker 2: in my like the way that I brushed my teeth
Speaker 2: when I wanted to today and then took a shower
Speaker 2: when I wanted to, and I kept hearing phantom baby cries.
Speaker 2: But uh, I'm so happy remy rue is in daycare
Speaker 2: for the low low price of Are you ready for this?
Speaker 2: How much three thousand, two hundred forty five US American
Speaker 2: dollars a baby, Jesus, Yes, a month, just for just
Speaker 2: for remy. Do you know what my mortgages less than that?
Speaker 1: Oh my god? How people with kids?
Speaker 2: Holy shit. I could go on, I could go on,
Speaker 2: but you know what, it's an investment and hey, book
Speaker 2: advance money. Thank you because that's what you buy me.
Speaker 2: That's what you bought me. Yeah, yeah, yea, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: that's that's what we could get the cheaper place. The
Speaker 2: wait list was full, et cetera. But he's so you know,
Speaker 2: he's a dream.
Speaker 1: Wow. I didn't know. I remember when Carol had the
Speaker 1: two kids in daycare. At the time, it was twenty
Speaker 1: three hundred dollars. But that was for two kids.
Speaker 2: For two of them. Lord, So infants are more expensive,
Speaker 2: that's true, I think so. Which why because they're less annoying?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Because honestly, babies, I mean it's.
Speaker 2: Especially in the winter time. There should be a discount
Speaker 2: because them little toddlers, they have to put mittens hats.
Speaker 2: Like I watched the train of children go out and
Speaker 2: I just asked them, how long did it take you?
Speaker 2: Have you been in there for an hour? Getting them
Speaker 2: dressed or like, yeah, gotta have that that outside time.
Speaker 4: Well, how was your your Christmas in New Year? It's over.
Speaker 2: That's all I care to say about the holidays, and
Speaker 2: I don't want to. Typically I'm very sunshine and optimism,
Speaker 2: but their holidays were rough, augh and partly because we
Speaker 2: traveled with I travel I should say, alone with my
Speaker 2: two children from New York to Atlanta, which I've done
Speaker 2: with Remy like three times in the last few months.
Speaker 2: But actually I wanted tom blame the kids. They were
Speaker 2: the easy part. I've got some dream babies, like, oh,
Speaker 2: they're just the best. But the airports and the packing,
Speaker 2: the packing, Tiffany, the number of suitcases. I just kept saying,
Speaker 2: and there's gotta be more, because it was like and
Speaker 2: then the breast pump and then the travel crib. And
Speaker 2: I thought I was saving so much space by buying
Speaker 2: a car seat in Atlanta for my dad, you know,
Speaker 2: to put in his car because he was picking us up.
Speaker 2: But yeah, I get there and not only is he
Speaker 2: forty five minutes late, the man didn't have time to
Speaker 2: install the car seats. So guess who after being out
Speaker 2: since two am and we got in Atlanta two am,
Speaker 2: to finish the packing. Because the packing packing, I arrived
Speaker 2: to wait forty five minutes for my dad. And by
Speaker 2: the way, Atlanta Airport, you suck. Why are there no
Speaker 2: areas for Why are there no porters with carts like
Speaker 2: there are at LaGuardia. Yeah, Freckles, Yes, his name is
Speaker 2: Freckles Freckleton at the LaGuardia Airport. That's my guy. He
Speaker 2: recognized me and Remy. He's like, I've seen you here
Speaker 2: a few times. I'm like, yeah, bring the cart around, Freckles.
Speaker 2: He takes you to the checkout, you know, the check
Speaker 2: in area. Atlanta is like me and I felt like
Speaker 2: those people who sell mango on the highway just people
Speaker 2: cruise them by, like got no time, And however I
Speaker 2: had to. When I got to Atlanta, I was like,
Speaker 2: I have forty five minutes and Rio's starving, and I
Speaker 2: have all these bags and I can't care in a stroller.
Speaker 2: I couldn't get from like where we were at baggage
Speaker 2: claim just to go to anti An's to get this
Speaker 2: boys some pretzel nuggets because he was about to turn
Speaker 2: into like an insane person. However, I went into the
Speaker 2: wheelchair as system. You know, when you're walking in somewhere
Speaker 2: and you know they don't want to see you, and
Speaker 2: then and you know that they're going to give you attitude,
Speaker 2: and you know they're going to say, this isn't my job.
Speaker 2: Go somewhere else. Nachelle at the Atlanta air for Nichelle
Speaker 2: with an n I love you, baby girl, thank you
Speaker 2: so much, because you almost were blowing me off. But
Speaker 2: I kind of I just like I didn't touch you
Speaker 2: because we don't want to do that, but I like
Speaker 2: stopped you with my eyes and I said, I know
Speaker 2: I'm not supposed to be here. I know this isn't
Speaker 2: your job, but I look at these babies. Help me, Michelle,
Speaker 2: and then dang, I forgot the guy's name who helped
Speaker 2: us with our bags and then escorted us out. Just yes,
Speaker 2: that was those those two people, and the random guy
Speaker 2: who held Rety getting onto the plane and the random
Speaker 2: woman who helped him when I got off the plane.
Speaker 2: Thank you, thank you. Oh yeah. It was so it
Speaker 2: was just exhausting, but they had one. They had a
Speaker 2: great time. What about you?
Speaker 4: Wait?
Speaker 1: YEA, Mine was pretty low key because I stayed in Jersey,
Speaker 1: my mom was in Nigeria, and my sister Lisa were
Speaker 1: in Nigeria.
Speaker 4: Yeah, so, and so it.
Speaker 1: Was myself, my sister Carol Roman, and a million My
Speaker 1: sister Karen flew up for New Year's which was nice, oh,
Speaker 1: from Chicago with Lily. So it was nice for all
Speaker 1: the cousins. I know, it was all nice for all
Speaker 1: the cousins, you know, to to hang out. So it
Speaker 1: was cute.
Speaker 2: I it must be nice being the point of destination.
Speaker 4: It is, honestly, because I could just go up to this.
Speaker 2: I know, I'm like, why are we the ones with
Speaker 2: all the crap having to travel? I'm like, I know
Speaker 2: my house is small, but I mean pitch a tent like.
Speaker 1: I've always like, come here. I sent an uber for
Speaker 1: my dad to come to the house. It was good, honestly. Christmas,
Speaker 1: I mean it was good. I did. I certainly had
Speaker 1: I'm trying to think of how I say it, because
Speaker 1: I'm like, because I don't want.
Speaker 4: Nobody to tell.
Speaker 1: But I had a really tough conversation, you know. I
Speaker 1: feel like this Christmas or this holiday season was a
Speaker 1: lot of family conference.
Speaker 2: We're going there.
Speaker 1: We both keep a light light because yeah, but because
Speaker 1: somebody I'll be some tattletales.
Speaker 2: But already a weekend. The Christians flights are coming down?
Speaker 2: Can't we just forget?
Speaker 1: So I had some but I was really proud of
Speaker 1: myself because if you know me, you know I don't
Speaker 1: do tough conversations, especially not family ones. But I initiated
Speaker 1: it and I closed it, and I was so.
Speaker 4: Proud of myself.
Speaker 1: I slayed the dragon and I said, wait, I talk
Speaker 1: to doctor Green. I have I see here. Well, by
Speaker 1: the time y'all listen to this, it'll be Wednesday when
Speaker 1: I have my therapy.
Speaker 4: I was just really proud of myself.
Speaker 1: I said, yes, you said the things, Tiffany. It's it's
Speaker 1: just a new day, and I'm just excited. There's some
Speaker 1: big changes coming to me professionally and personally and personally.
Speaker 4: Are we no, I'm not getting married?
Speaker 2: A saying no I know about? Are you at least
Speaker 2: acknowledging something.
Speaker 4: That I'm dated?
Speaker 1: I'm dated?
Speaker 2: Okay?
Speaker 1: You go on podcast fish Okay, Yeah, I mean, like
Speaker 1: you know, I was lightly dating before. And it's funny
Speaker 1: because I have a friend named Tammy who's a widow
Speaker 1: as well, and she her husband actually passed away a
Speaker 1: year ago, a year and some change, and so she
Speaker 1: had gotten asked out by like a childhood friend. And
Speaker 1: at first she you know, she called me. She was like,
Speaker 1: I'm definitely gonna say no. I should say no, right,
Speaker 1: I said, well, she said, do you think it's disrespectful
Speaker 1: for him to ask me? I said, well no, because
Speaker 1: you know it's been over a year, and you know
Speaker 1: your husband is not here. He's not asking you out
Speaker 1: while you are currently your husband is currently here, and
Speaker 1: you do get to decide.
Speaker 4: She's around my age as well, So I said, you don't.
Speaker 1: There are there are some women who just decide, or
Speaker 1: not just women, the widowers, that decide that they will
Speaker 1: never engage with anybody else again, which is obviously you're right,
Speaker 1: But I said, you know, you're still young, so you
Speaker 1: get to decide engage, you know, but you know what
Speaker 1: I mean, like date or or do you know, go
Speaker 1: out or whatever, you know.
Speaker 4: But I just be with yes.
Speaker 1: And so I think in the beginning, especially for the
Speaker 1: first year, you tell yourself never at at least that's
Speaker 1: what I said, never ever.
Speaker 4: Ever, I don't even want to date.
Speaker 1: I don't want to see anybody else because draw was
Speaker 1: all that I ever hoped for and dream for and
Speaker 1: literally prayed for and so I just didn't think, how
Speaker 1: could it be possible?
Speaker 4: You can't get that twice?
Speaker 1: And certainly, no, you can't get Jarrell twice, but it
Speaker 1: is possible to love again, you know. And I thought
Speaker 1: to myself, if I had this amazing love with Jerrell,
Speaker 1: do I want to go the rest of my life
Speaker 1: while I'm here without experiencing that again? And over time
Speaker 1: it took me, like, you know, maybe like almost two
Speaker 1: years to like really decide I don't want to not
Speaker 1: experience that again. I don't know, like you know, we're
Speaker 1: I just know I don't want to not experience that
Speaker 1: again because for me, like life with Jarrell was so
Speaker 1: much better than life without him, you know, like partnership
Speaker 1: for me with the right person made life so beautiful,
Speaker 1: like I could take on the world, you know, as Mandy,
Speaker 1: you heard me and Mandy talk about this book Attached
Speaker 1: Yes a lot, And so I'm reading. I'm on chapter seven, Mandy,
Speaker 1: and it talks about secure attachment. And when I was
Speaker 1: just listening to that one yes, my favorite secure base
Speaker 1: go ahead, go ahead.
Speaker 2: My favorite line from that that I have been repeating
Speaker 2: over and over in my head is that a secure
Speaker 2: person understands that or believes that they are responsible for
Speaker 2: their partner's happiness. Yes, and that I think that is
Speaker 2: sort of like it goes against what you typically think about,
Speaker 2: like you must make yourself perfect and happy before you
Speaker 2: can be a good partner. And I do believe to
Speaker 2: some extent you are responsible for a lot of your happiness. However,
Speaker 2: let's not get you know, like you were saying, with
Speaker 2: the right partner, who really cares about your happiness, it matters.
Speaker 4: But it does matter, and so much difference.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So I just decided that, Like, you know, I'm
Speaker 1: forty four, not eighty four. If I was eighty four,
Speaker 1: i'd be like, oh cha, I just sit me down.
Speaker 1: But I just decided that, like, I don't want to
Speaker 1: spend the rest of my life without that secure base,
Speaker 1: because one of the lessons I learned from that chapter, Mandy,
Speaker 1: is that when you have a secured base, it makes
Speaker 1: it that much easier to take on the world. I
Speaker 1: can literally see how my life transformed from when I
Speaker 1: moved in with Jeralm. Everything from like everything got better,
Speaker 1: you know, because he was such a secure base. My
Speaker 1: business literally went within two years of living with him,
Speaker 1: from six figures to seven figures because I felt like
Speaker 1: I could take on the world. Someone always had my back,
Speaker 1: that no matter what, someone loved me, and so like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I want the opportunity to have that again. And so yeah,
Speaker 1: I've been dating. And at first I just was like
Speaker 1: a little here and a little there, you know, the
Speaker 1: ass We talked about it a little, you know, the apps,
Speaker 1: a little here, a little there, and which was cool.
Speaker 4: But you know, like nobody got new work. Yeah no.
Speaker 4: And then then I is somebody who I knew from
Speaker 4: some years back asked me out.
Speaker 1: And at first I was like nah, just like Tammy,
Speaker 1: I was like yeah, but then we just started to
Speaker 1: develop a friendship and so and then I started to tease, like,
Speaker 1: you know, a few months back that because it's what
Speaker 1: the young girl say, my man, that's not my man.
Speaker 1: That's my man, that's not my man.
Speaker 3: It's not my man, but you can't have him, right like,
Speaker 3: and so like literally for my birthday, I got flowers
Speaker 3: and it was the like m m m t not mom,
Speaker 3: you know, like this spelled out like that.
Speaker 1: I was like, who got me flower? And it was
Speaker 1: like from your man, that's not your man. And I
Speaker 1: was just like so I'm so I'm on the fence now,
Speaker 1: I know. So I was, you know what, So I
Speaker 1: guess what I'm struggling with is the fear of loss again,
Speaker 1: you know.
Speaker 2: Of course, So like I mean, I don't know, but
Speaker 2: I am not surprised to hear that.
Speaker 4: You know.
Speaker 1: That's the part that I'm struggling because I mean, honestly,
Speaker 1: he's great, He's really smart, You're really sweet, so kind.
Speaker 1: The thing that made me shift, like my thinking about
Speaker 1: him was when like I was gonna bring up Jirell
Speaker 1: for like the teenth time, and then I stopped myself, like, oh,
Speaker 1: this is probably too much, and he was like, Tiffany,
Speaker 1: I hope you know that you can talk about Durell
Speaker 1: as much as you want. I don't ever want you
Speaker 1: to not talk about Jerrell. And I'm grateful for him
Speaker 1: because I get this version of him because of how
Speaker 1: he loved you.
Speaker 4: And so that made me say, like, Okay, maybe there's
Speaker 4: something here.
Speaker 2: You got a keeper. I've been saying it since day one.
Speaker 2: I'm like, I thought it was hard dating. I thought
Speaker 2: that the great guys were all taken. That's what I hear.
Speaker 2: Tiffany's like, h got a perfect one, had a perfect
Speaker 2: one to begin with, didn't get another one, and.
Speaker 1: So that made me say, okay, so it's a safe
Speaker 1: space for me to grieve openly. I mean, I talk
Speaker 1: about Jerrell all the time, and I never feel like
Speaker 1: he's like, ah, right, here we go. It takes a
Speaker 1: secure person to be in that space. And so the
Speaker 1: only reason why I still teach that he's my man.
Speaker 4: That's not my man.
Speaker 1: I'm not dating anyone else, But it's just because I
Speaker 1: have this fear, you know, like that I've been working
Speaker 1: through in therapy that to accept somebody as my man.
Speaker 4: Then what like.
Speaker 1: I am still deathly afraid of loss, you know, and
Speaker 1: so like that's the hard part getting over and of
Speaker 1: course getting over the part that's like uh also too,
Speaker 1: Like y'all know, I bought that condom damn near a
Speaker 1: year ago, and I've been renovating slow as hell because
Speaker 1: it took me a while to realize. I'm like, why
Speaker 1: I've been like taking so long with this renovation is
Speaker 1: because I'm not quite ready to leave the house to
Speaker 1: Draw and I built together, Because in leaving this house,
Speaker 1: it makes it super real that like, wow, he's really
Speaker 1: not here. And I think in having like being in
Speaker 1: a relationship and saying this is my man. It makes
Speaker 1: it super real that he's really not here, and so
Speaker 1: that's really hard to like accept. There's still days when
Speaker 1: I'm like, wow, Darrell's really not here, you know. And
Speaker 1: so I think that's the space that I am in now.
Speaker 1: And so he's been so patient and been so great
Speaker 1: and you know, so, I mean I guess he. I mean,
Speaker 1: he's probably because he listens to the podcast. I'm like,
Speaker 1: all right, you my man, all right.
Speaker 2: I'm rooting for you. For you, I mean really, I'm
Speaker 2: rooting for you, Tiffany. So I think we all and
Speaker 2: I mean I said it, I think several times. But
Speaker 2: a world where you're not surrounded by love and loved
Speaker 2: by an incredible person and have that partnership, it doesn't
Speaker 2: make sense to me. It doesn't exist, you know. So
Speaker 2: I know you're going to do the work that you're in.
Speaker 2: You know, you're doing your work in therapy and that's important.
Speaker 2: And I just know that, like through it and on
Speaker 2: the other side of it, there's joy and there's a
Speaker 2: continuation of this you know, rich beautiful life that you deserve.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he's already met my sisters and they're like, oh,
Speaker 1: I cam you know, sisters be like, I guess girl,
Speaker 1: you know. And I met his family like and so
Speaker 1: they're super fun. So yeah, I think there is light
Speaker 1: at the end of this dark tunnel of grief. And
Speaker 1: so I'm just navigating. But some days, I like, I
Speaker 1: feel so bad because days I'll be like, oh, everything's
Speaker 1: all good, and I'm like, I don't want to do
Speaker 1: this anymore. Leave me alone.
Speaker 2: He's like, wait, what.
Speaker 4: Happened. I'm like, oh no, So yeah, it.
Speaker 1: Takes a lot of patience navigating somebody who's lost their partners, so,
Speaker 1: you know. So yeah, But that's.
Speaker 4: That's my update for life. My life update.
Speaker 2: Oh man, A lot of life, A lot of stuff
Speaker 2: I feel like has been happening in the news. I
Speaker 2: thought we might bring back brown Ambition buzz a little
Speaker 2: moment and let's start with something cute and light or
Speaker 2: something a little bit dark and twisty. Well, the most
Speaker 2: the thing that I can't get out of my head
Speaker 2: right now is the face of one Jonathan Major's He's
Speaker 2: doing a toell All interview For those who don't know,
Speaker 2: have you been listen? Do you not scroll an ig
Speaker 2: and see all the like posts? About Jonathan Major and
Speaker 2: the memes. But yeah, he was convicted of some version
Speaker 2: of assault. I don't know the particulars of his girlfriend.
Speaker 2: And then like during the trial there were some there
Speaker 2: was like a recording that came out a voice memo
Speaker 2: or something. Yeah, she recorded him basically saying that she
Speaker 2: needed and she's a white woman. I think, yeah, she's
Speaker 2: non black. She of him saying, you know, he wants her,
Speaker 2: she has to behave herself or hold herself like a
Speaker 2: Kreta Scott King, like a Michelle Obama to his Yes,
Speaker 2: you see where this is going. And almost I'm like
Speaker 2: as bad as the abuse that he was convicted of
Speaker 2: was like that attitude. Who anyway, But the clip that
Speaker 2: they showed this tell all interview that he's giving, he's
Speaker 2: like talking about his new girlfriend. He's dating Megan Good.
Speaker 2: Yeah okay, and he's like, I found her. That's my
Speaker 2: Coreta Scott King for me.
Speaker 4: I wish he would keep that lady's name out here.
Speaker 2: So we're doubling down. We're doubling down, are we? Oh?
Speaker 1: I wish he would keep that lady's name out of
Speaker 1: his mouth. So one of my friends posted today, Dimitria.
Speaker 1: She wrote I helped one of the King family members
Speaker 1: be like, stop mentioning my family. He did not do
Speaker 1: I have a dream for this.
Speaker 2: And desist. I don't know what to say about it
Speaker 2: other than he.
Speaker 4: You know, destroyed his own career.
Speaker 2: I really loved him. I'm mad at him because like
Speaker 2: I had just what because I'm so late, I think
Speaker 2: I had just watched the Creed that he was in.
Speaker 2: I don't. I'm not going to pretend like I know
Speaker 2: all about the Marvel stuff he was going to be
Speaker 2: in Marvel. I just really watching him as an actor,
Speaker 2: and he was in that movie that show black Craft,
Speaker 2: country love Craft, country Craft. Anyway, he was just so
Speaker 2: incredible and you want someone started continue rizing and you
Speaker 2: know it's it's his own doing. Am I gonna watch this?
Speaker 2: Tell all? Would you watch it? I kind of feel
Speaker 2: like I'll watch on TikTok after for the highlights. I'm curious.
Speaker 2: I'm curious for what he says. I I wonder from you, Tip,
Speaker 2: do you think career over is just like do you
Speaker 2: think he deserves a done career, like he should go
Speaker 2: get a job at subway slinging sandwiches? How do you feel?
Speaker 1: I don't know I think there are certain things where
Speaker 1: I'm like definitely over career, like a like a h
Speaker 1: who's our m B singer Chris Brown, No or Kelly.
Speaker 1: So there are some people who are like career over
Speaker 1: for sure, for sure, I'm start jail, well yeah, yes
Speaker 1: and so, and then there are some people who I'm
Speaker 1: just like, I don't know, I don't have like I
Speaker 1: don't think we should ever have judgment, but I do sometimes,
Speaker 1: But I don't have like career over judgment for him.
Speaker 1: I think that, I mean, the part that came out
Speaker 1: that was kind of like, oh wow, is that you
Speaker 1: know he went to either Yale, I forget what school
Speaker 1: or Columbia or something, and people who knew him then,
Speaker 1: you know, kind of came forward and said that he's
Speaker 1: been abusive for a very long time that they're so
Speaker 1: glad that it's kind of finally come out. And so
Speaker 1: I think, bigger than anything, as I hope that man
Speaker 1: gets some help before he hurt someone else. You know,
Speaker 1: there's some people who I'm like, I want help for,
Speaker 1: and there's some people who all want under the jail,
Speaker 1: like R Kelly out.
Speaker 4: You know, I don't care.
Speaker 1: About under the under the jail for r Kelly, you know,
Speaker 1: you know, but so long, I mean, and babies, you know,
Speaker 1: literally keep people's kids. And so I feel like for
Speaker 1: Jonathan Major's I feel like that if he can get
Speaker 1: some help, there's redemption for those who seek it. And so,
Speaker 1: you know, I don't know, maybe that's there's something there
Speaker 1: for him.
Speaker 2: So yeah, but I just Voldemort had to do was
Speaker 2: feel remorse for all he had done, and he couldn't
Speaker 2: do it. You know what I'm saying that some.
Speaker 1: People want to stand ten doos down in their wrongness,
Speaker 1: you know. And so but speaking of tell all, girl,
Speaker 1: did you see Kat Williams on Club.
Speaker 2: This is the one I'm not caught up on.
Speaker 4: I watch it.
Speaker 2: I don't care what it means. I don't I did
Speaker 2: not I did not know about that radio show with
Speaker 2: Shannon Shannon Sharp.
Speaker 1: Well that's the first time I ever watched it. But yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't know if it's radio. Maybe it's a podcast.
Speaker 1: I'm not sure.
Speaker 4: But it's called Club Shape.
Speaker 2: Okay. Kat Williams was on there. What he said, what
Speaker 2: all he had to say?
Speaker 1: So if anybody follows Kat Williams, you know, if Kat
Speaker 1: Williams is a damn fool, he is hilarious, So it
Speaker 1: was a mix of him doing kind of like stand up,
Speaker 1: although I'm sure he wouldn't say that's what it was.
Speaker 1: He went on there to do an interview and Kat
Speaker 1: Williams came with a suitcase full of grudges.
Speaker 4: Oh, I mean, Shannon.
Speaker 1: Was like, good morning Kat, and Kat was like f
Speaker 1: Steve Harvey entertainer.
Speaker 4: We were like, wait, he didn't have.
Speaker 2: It just Kat's career right now. Like, I know, he's
Speaker 2: a famous stand up and probably a gajillionaire, but where's
Speaker 2: he at in his career?
Speaker 4: I don't know.
Speaker 1: So he said that he's currently I guess he's taping
Speaker 1: a Netflix special, a figure Netflix special coming up. So
Speaker 1: he's been very successful also too, he was in a
Speaker 1: oh it was a show where he got nominated for
Speaker 1: a Emmy. No, I think he won the Emmy. And
Speaker 1: so Kat is just a really talented, hilarious, funny comedian.
Speaker 1: And so it was such an interesting master class of
Speaker 1: when someone had a clear agenda when they came onto
Speaker 1: a show and.
Speaker 4: Navigated that interview how he wanted it to go. It is.
Speaker 1: I mean, the last time I check, it was over
Speaker 1: twenty million views in less than a week. It was
Speaker 1: like over ten million I think the first day. And
Speaker 1: he had a clear agenda of comedians that he did
Speaker 1: not have respect for that he wanted to expose and
Speaker 1: he did. But also he was also hilarious and funny.
Speaker 1: I mean he there were so many memes that came
Speaker 1: out of it, like, Shannon, you have an unnatural allegiance
Speaker 1: with losers and that's not like you.
Speaker 4: I mean, the.
Speaker 2: Okay, so Shannon, I think.
Speaker 1: So I'm not going fami. From what I know, Shannon
Speaker 1: used to be an NFL player, you know, and then
Speaker 1: he was like on one of those like sports talk
Speaker 1: shows or whatever, and then something happened where he left
Speaker 1: or he got kicked off or whatever, and then started
Speaker 1: his own like show, splash, podcast whatever, which is this
Speaker 1: club station, and what I normally have seen from clips,
Speaker 1: it's a lot of athletes that were coming on, but
Speaker 1: also entertainers. So I'm not you know, I'm not super
Speaker 1: familiar with Shannon or his platform. It's just that because
Speaker 1: this show came out, I actually watched. You have to
Speaker 1: not just watch, but listen to the whole thing, and
Speaker 1: it was a masterclass of just shenanigans. I mean, so
Speaker 1: just watch it.
Speaker 4: You're gonna be like, oh my god, cat, don't do that.
Speaker 1: Like I'm sure half of what he said was not
Speaker 1: true because half of it was embellished obviously and like
Speaker 1: I as comedians are apt to do. But there was
Speaker 1: a lot of things there that you're like, oh wow,
Speaker 1: you know, like comedians that stole his jokes that he
Speaker 1: was angry at and to us we think, like, what's
Speaker 1: the big deal. But for comedians that's your currency. That's
Speaker 1: like someone stealing like you know, the my literature challenge
Speaker 1: and using it as theirs the thing that you created
Speaker 1: that draws people to you.
Speaker 4: And so yeah, there was just a lot of exposing.
Speaker 1: No. One of my one of my favorite lines, he said,
Speaker 1: he said, my goal when I left Hollywood was to
Speaker 1: not suck any beat and to leave with my virgin,
Speaker 1: my butthole still a virgin. He said.
Speaker 4: This is my goal in being Hollywood.
Speaker 1: He said, because and then he said this, he said,
Speaker 1: because he Diddy is gonna want a party, and you
Speaker 1: got to tell him no. You got to tell him
Speaker 1: no the way I howered, Oh.
Speaker 2: Another reputation that was doing.
Speaker 1: I mean, so it's just you have to go.
Speaker 2: That's what happened he's gone, well, yeah, so apparently so
Speaker 2: Dave Chappelle Styler kind of.
Speaker 1: That basically, how we all have heard the stories about
Speaker 1: how toxic and terrible Hollywood is, so he basically was
Speaker 1: exposing it from the comedian's perspective.
Speaker 4: That's really the purpose.
Speaker 1: Of this interview scene to be to expose Hollywood, Hollywood
Speaker 1: from the comedian's perspective, but in a way that was
Speaker 1: funny and entertaining, but also like a cautionary tale of
Speaker 1: like one of the reasons why it might not be
Speaker 1: as big as some of your biggest is because I said, now,
Speaker 1: it's because I wouldn't do so and things, and so
Speaker 1: that was kind of like the premise.
Speaker 2: I honestly think taking the high road. This is one
Speaker 2: of those situations where it's kind of like an exit interview,
Speaker 2: and it's like, is it ever really worth it to
Speaker 2: tell everyone how you feel about everything? I just feel
Speaker 2: in the end it hurts you, you know, because then
Speaker 2: I'm just thinking like it kind of it's it sounds
Speaker 2: like a sore loser kind of situation where you're like, well,
Speaker 2: I would have been bigger if everybody else da da
Speaker 2: da da da, you know, but I have to.
Speaker 1: Watch it, because I feel like he walked the very
Speaker 1: thin fine line of sounding bitter but not quite.
Speaker 2: Okay, No he went on some rampage.
Speaker 1: No, because he's just honestly was also hilarious and calm.
Speaker 1: And and then what came out afterwards is that so
Speaker 1: many people, so many comedians, young comedians and and just
Speaker 1: other people came out to say how many times that
Speaker 1: Cat Williams had helped them and sent them money and
Speaker 1: without you know, them knowing, like they would do maybe
Speaker 1: a set. You know, you're you're at a comedy club
Speaker 1: and they're not paying you. You know, you do an
Speaker 1: amazing set, and he would have somebody come over give
Speaker 1: you a thousand dollars, but not let that person tell
Speaker 1: you it was from him, you know. And so that
Speaker 1: he did that a lot, and so a lot of
Speaker 1: people came forward and was like, you know, Kat has
Speaker 1: been so generous with his time, his resources, his energy,
Speaker 1: his whole life. So that was really nice to see too. So, yeah,
Speaker 1: that was just hilarious.
Speaker 2: If you want another perspective on comedy, I really I
Speaker 2: started to listen to Leslie Jones' book, Leslie Fucking Jones,
Speaker 2: and just the first like I think I'm on the
Speaker 2: chapter like four, I'm where she's playing basketball in high school.
Speaker 2: This is so funny. That got me through an all
Speaker 2: night I was cleaning my dad's kitchen back to the holidays.
Speaker 2: Why am I re traumatizing myself? I cleaned my dad's
Speaker 2: kitchen from ten pm to four am, I said, Mary
Speaker 2: Grimos here, I am. I'm up on your floor for
Speaker 2: the fifth time. So gross. Anyway, she got me through
Speaker 2: that with her book, And anyway, in the beginning, she
Speaker 2: talks about Chris Rock and how you know, he was
Speaker 2: sort of her mentor and then like her perspective as
Speaker 2: a working successful but like not like you know, a
Speaker 2: list comedian and how they get like the travel and
Speaker 2: the and the fighting for your fees. I just, yeah,
Speaker 2: I would recommend that it's really good and really funny
Speaker 2: because I.
Speaker 1: Think that was like a big theme of that's how
Speaker 1: they break about pay right. Because Taraji came out.
Speaker 2: That thank you for segueing three on my list.
Speaker 1: I don't even know you had a last but here.
Speaker 2: We are, yes, mom, brain, Yeah, Taraji, Taraji, Taraji tell
Speaker 2: us about it. TEF.
Speaker 1: So Taraji was doing this interview and she kind of
Speaker 1: broke down and She shared how they don't make as
Speaker 1: much as you think that you might take home as
Speaker 1: little as ten percent of whatever your contract was. She said,
Speaker 1: you know, let's just say you get a million dollars
Speaker 1: to do a film, right, and then you know, you
Speaker 1: have a representation that's usually like ten or fifteen percent, right,
Speaker 1: and then an attorney is five percent usually they take
Speaker 1: and then you might have a publicist, you might have
Speaker 1: social media. By the time you would it all down
Speaker 1: that million dollars, you might only pocket one hundred thousand,
Speaker 1: you know, in that you know.
Speaker 4: So I remember I saw my friend Yvonne.
Speaker 1: Og she had posted that like on average, she takes
Speaker 1: home only thirty percent of like whatever her contract is
Speaker 1: after everything else is paid. And I thought, wow, because
Speaker 1: sometimes we see like, oh my gosh, you know, you
Speaker 1: got a million dollars, you know, but not knowing this
Speaker 1: person took home one hundred thousand. Now here's the thing.
Speaker 1: You might be like, well, that's still one hundred thousand,
Speaker 1: but Taraji's not getting paid a million. That's just some
Speaker 1: numbers I'm sharing. Like, So she did Benjamin Button. Then
Speaker 1: she went like an Academy Award for that.
Speaker 2: She was nominated but dominated yeah.
Speaker 1: And it was an amazing movie. If you haven't seen
Speaker 1: that movie, brad Pitt got paid ten million. She got
Speaker 1: one hundred and fifty thousand, and so what is ten
Speaker 1: percent of one hundred and fifty thousand. Isn't that fifteen
Speaker 1: thousand for like.
Speaker 2: Six months of your life because you got to be
Speaker 2: on set and then more time to promote it. Yes,
Speaker 2: and on top of that being a black woman, I'll
Speaker 2: just note it's ten percent of a fee that's already
Speaker 2: going to be diminished because you don't look like the
Speaker 2: you know, you're not going to do well overseas as
Speaker 2: they say about black films.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so it's just really I said, there was a
Speaker 1: lot of sympathy, but some people were like, oh, Taraji's networth,
Speaker 1: it's twelve million dollars.
Speaker 4: I'm like, y'all won't believe any memes.
Speaker 1: First of all, what that's just somebody's just slapped down
Speaker 1: on in font Times New Roman Fond. You know, it
Speaker 1: just had you realize because there are there's this great
Speaker 1: book called The Millionaire next Door where they talk about
Speaker 1: that there are some professions that it's harder to become
Speaker 1: a millionaire because of the maintenance of the profession, you know.
Speaker 1: You know, So for example, when I was teaching preschool
Speaker 1: and I was driving my you know, ninety nine toyo
Speaker 1: to camera, nobody cared. I'm a preschool teacher. I used
Speaker 1: to literally wear scrubs like nurses, scrubs like my uniform.
Speaker 1: I had five of them. I watched them every week.
Speaker 1: Nobody cared because I was a preschool teacher. That was
Speaker 1: our uniform. And so I used to save most of
Speaker 1: my money invested. In like two and a half years
Speaker 1: of teaching preschool, I had gotten up to thirty thousand
Speaker 1: dollars set aside.
Speaker 4: So but if you.
Speaker 1: Are, say like a plastic surgeon or something like that,
Speaker 1: you know, if you're driving a ninety nine tol you
Speaker 1: to camera, you know, people are going to wonder, like,
Speaker 1: is your business doing well? There are certain things that
Speaker 1: you have to There's a look that you have to
Speaker 1: present that's very expensive. So imagine a Hollywood actress. She
Speaker 1: has to have her lashes done, her brows have to
Speaker 1: stay them, her skin has to look good. So there's
Speaker 1: a lot of maintenance just to be able to be
Speaker 1: considered for jobs that cost. On top of the fact
Speaker 1: that and I saw this happening in the finance space.
Speaker 1: I don't know if you've seen this, Mandy, this whole
Speaker 1: I have a manager, I don't you know. So like
Speaker 1: so there's one of my mentees had a manager, which
Speaker 1: can be helpful depending on what you're doing. But a
Speaker 1: cotition manager, yes, But the issue was that the manager
Speaker 1: wasn't bringing her into work, but was getting still fifteen
Speaker 1: percent of any work that came.
Speaker 2: Into her that he or he or she did not know. Okay,
Speaker 2: and so you.
Speaker 1: Know, And so now here's the thing. In general, there's
Speaker 1: usually a mix. Your manager brings in things, so you
Speaker 1: bring in some things. They helped to negotiate the contract
Speaker 1: on both, but she realized after a year he had
Speaker 1: brought nothing to the table.
Speaker 4: He got to eat fifteen percent either way.
Speaker 1: And so I have someone who I use as like
Speaker 1: an odd ad hoc manager, and that she only gets
Speaker 1: paid her fifteen percent on the contracts I sent to
Speaker 1: her to negotiate. If I have some partners that I've
Speaker 1: worked with for a number of years, I feel comfortable
Speaker 1: negotiating the contract myself. I get my money, I get
Speaker 1: to keep it all. And then with Ellie, you know,
Speaker 1: I only send her certain things so I'm like, this
Speaker 1: is this is a lot of rigmarole. Go ahead and negotiate,
Speaker 1: and Ellie's really good about not only negotiating, but negotiating
Speaker 1: above and beyond what they're typically trying to offer. So
Speaker 1: it offsets the payment of fifteen percent to her, you know,
Speaker 1: but if you have a manager and you are a
Speaker 1: Hollywood starlet or whatever, that's how it goes. Anything that
Speaker 1: comes in, they're getting percentage either way, whether they brought
Speaker 1: it in or not, and so they could just get
Speaker 1: to be really.
Speaker 2: She fired her whole team, she said, yeah, after Empire,
Speaker 2: and you know what I think about it, And I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 2: where was her? Why wasn't she on the lorel commercial?
Speaker 2: Viola Davis got that after you know, what's that show
Speaker 2: with the Llawyer? It's not The Good Life?
Speaker 4: How to kill oh?
Speaker 2: To get away with?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm like, how to kill a millionaire?
Speaker 2: And the marketing budget for you, I don't know whatever? Yeah,
Speaker 2: but she yeah, I you know, and I and I
Speaker 2: think people don't. They reacted poorly to that, Like, you know,
Speaker 2: it just goes against it goes against that idea of
Speaker 2: a woman just being grateful, you know. Fuck that that's
Speaker 2: the twenty four motto, like you don't have to be
Speaker 2: grateful and you deserve and you know what, also, you
Speaker 2: may not want to act for your entire life. And
Speaker 2: the older you get, it's almost like being a gymnast
Speaker 2: or something in Hollywood. The older you get, the less
Speaker 2: capable you are of doing the hoops and the looped loops,
Speaker 2: and the more tired you are. You don't want to
Speaker 2: work forever, but you know you you hope to. That's
Speaker 2: why you see. You know, she launched her own damn hair,
Speaker 2: Caroline tph available at Target. Like I respect that a
Speaker 2: lot about her, and I just think the chatter, the
Speaker 2: blah blah blah blah, that's always going to happen, But
Speaker 2: I don't care. Pay her what she deserves and find
Speaker 2: a team and find people if they're not even if
Speaker 2: they represent a bunch of other people that are very incredible.
Speaker 2: I feel like at the end of the day, if
Speaker 2: if you don't feel like they are. And this also
Speaker 2: applies to people working nine to five with your manager.
Speaker 2: If there's not someone who you know is going to
Speaker 2: bat for you when you're not in the room, like
Speaker 2: that's not that's an indication that you're not going to
Speaker 2: be taken care of. You're not going to go very far.
Speaker 2: And the sooner you realize that, the sooner you can
Speaker 2: excize that person or quit that job and you know,
Speaker 2: move on where you do have advocates because we just
Speaker 2: can't be we can't be lied to and de lie
Speaker 2: to ourselves and say that we're better off just being
Speaker 2: grateful and not pushing back. It's the nice thing to do.
Speaker 2: Don't want to burn bridges all that bs.
Speaker 1: But it's like, man, you stay in that space. I mean,
Speaker 1: that's been the story of my life, you know that, like, oh,
Speaker 1: there's safety and silence, like even like I told you,
Speaker 1: like I had my difficult conversation on Christmas and one
Speaker 1: of my sisters was like, oh, sometimes it's just better
Speaker 1: to keep the peace, Tiffany, I said, but who's peace?
Speaker 4: Who's for?
Speaker 2: Who? Who's it better for?
Speaker 1: Yes?
Speaker 4: I said, I feel peaceful right about now because I
Speaker 4: said my piece.
Speaker 2: Yes.
Speaker 1: So it's like they're gonna be all right. And guess
Speaker 1: what they were. They were all right, We're cool now,
Speaker 1: you know, But a boundary has been said because I
Speaker 1: cannot move forward any longer.
Speaker 4: I have made so many changes.
Speaker 1: Mandy knows like so many changes behind the scenes of
Speaker 1: like what my boundaries will and will not allow, And
Speaker 1: I just don't want to live the second half of
Speaker 1: my life constricted by you know, what the people gonna say.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you know, that's what I call it, Like what
Speaker 4: the people gonna say, and.
Speaker 2: Like, oh, you're talking about their feelings and not yours,
Speaker 2: and keep the peace for who.
Speaker 1: Yeah, people think about themselves way more than they think
Speaker 1: about you. They might think of you for two minutes today,
Speaker 1: So for two minutes, I'm going to live my whole
Speaker 1: life because for two minutes somebody might think ill of me.
Speaker 1: Like I just I cannot, I will not, and neither
Speaker 1: should you. And I'm so glad that Taraji said something.
Speaker 1: And what I love is that y'all who listen. You know,
Speaker 1: you give us such great feedback of how we've been
Speaker 1: able to like encourage you and push you to ask
Speaker 1: for more, Encourage you and push you to look at
Speaker 1: your finances differently, you know, give you the tools and
Speaker 1: the resources that you need.
Speaker 4: To get what you deserve.
Speaker 1: Like you know, the people are always going to say something,
Speaker 1: but not in twenty twenty four.
Speaker 4: We're not living constrained by what the people are gonna.
Speaker 2: Say, let them to walk.
Speaker 4: Yeah, let them to walk, Let them to.
Speaker 2: Walk, Let the girls chatter in the comments and just
Speaker 2: sip your champagne like Taylor's whipped out the globes last night.
Speaker 2: Claudine Gay Harvard, can we please.
Speaker 1: Ooh the way?
Speaker 2: Yeah, texted my one of my good friends, not the lie,
Speaker 2: one of my one of my former mentors. We've like
Speaker 2: sort of you know how you like go. Everyone knows
Speaker 2: that you get older and you lose touch, but you
Speaker 2: still love those people. Anyway. She's one of the founding
Speaker 2: editors at the Nineteenth, which is the this women led,
Speaker 2: women founded media platform that covers just all sorts of things.
Speaker 2: But I was like, if you're covering that, she was
Speaker 2: uncovering Claudine Gay at Harvard, And I'm like, when you
Speaker 2: write your tell all about how black women are doomed
Speaker 2: to fail and just about any industry that we go
Speaker 2: into will be the first usability. But yeah, Claudine Gay
Speaker 2: resigning from Harvard as the first black female president less
Speaker 2: than what how long did she make? Six seven months?
Speaker 4: I mean, the shortest tenure in their history.
Speaker 2: Jesus. And if that it's so, it's like, why prove
Speaker 2: every like we already knew that. I feel like, as
Speaker 2: black women, that our mistakes are always bigger, We're always
Speaker 2: judged at the highest bar. There's no one who will
Speaker 2: find the fine print in a contract or in whatever
Speaker 2: social code or moral code, whatever. There's no one who
Speaker 2: will look more diligently at the fine print than someone
Speaker 2: trying to steal a position of power from a woman
Speaker 2: of color, you know what I mean? Like this whole
Speaker 2: bullshit around her and let me get back up the
Speaker 2: bullshit around her citations and her work. But Claudine Gay,
Speaker 2: first black president of Harvard, black female as well, was
Speaker 2: she was on She was being what do you call
Speaker 2: it when they're like asked to come to Congress and
Speaker 2: testify and answer questions from what do you call that? Oh?
Speaker 4: I don't know, I forget what it is, but I
Speaker 4: know you mean.
Speaker 2: They were there. She was there asking questions with several
Speaker 2: level several other heads of the elite universities, and she
Speaker 2: flubbed an answer around uh, you know, would she like
Speaker 2: would she get would it be a violation of student
Speaker 2: conduct if a student was saying anti Semitic remarks and
Speaker 2: calling for the genocide of Israel Israelis and you know, Jews,
Speaker 2: and she flubbed the answer. It was it was not
Speaker 2: a great answer. It was very like my lawyers prepared
Speaker 2: me to say this, and I'm too scared to say
Speaker 2: what I really think. But the victual and it wasn't
Speaker 2: just her, it was like the other presidents too. But
Speaker 2: the immediate vitriol and calls for her removal as the
Speaker 2: president of Harvard, that wasn't that was part. That was
Speaker 2: like the first nail in her coffin. And then the
Speaker 2: trolls got to digging and her whole entire body of
Speaker 2: work and found a couple of instances where she hadn't
Speaker 2: properly like cited sources in her research and ultimately in
Speaker 2: her statement. And also she wrote an op ed for
Speaker 2: The New York Times. She talks about her decision to resign,
Speaker 2: but at the same time, it's like, it's if Harvard
Speaker 2: can't protect a woman of color and power, like not
Speaker 2: that I had high expectations, but we're all on watch,
Speaker 2: be on watch. That's why I do Mandy money Makers.
Speaker 2: I'm like, be on watch. It is not a fair fight.
Speaker 2: We should we want to ascend to levels of power,
Speaker 2: you know, in these institutions. We want to, we deserve,
Speaker 2: we work hard for it. I'm not going to begrudge
Speaker 2: anyone of that ambition to rise and to be a leader,
Speaker 2: to make, to be a change maker, to be in
Speaker 2: the room where shit happens. We should all strive for that. However,
Speaker 2: please don't be surprised when all of a sudden, a
Speaker 2: technicality or someone with a little bit of power who
Speaker 2: was never in the room to decide if you got
Speaker 2: to be in there, finally has an issue with it.
Speaker 2: And they hold the money, you know, they hold the
Speaker 2: control over the people who did choose you, and they
Speaker 2: decide that no, I actually that's too much, that's not enough.
Speaker 2: We don't like this. There's this one little thing. They
Speaker 2: will pull that lever and you will fall down the
Speaker 2: hatch so fast. What's that in the what's the door
Speaker 2: the moon door in Game of Thrones. You're not really
Speaker 2: a TV person?
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, I didn't really watch, but I know you
Speaker 4: like that door.
Speaker 2: It's just like push the red button bye.
Speaker 1: So and it's just it's one of the reasons why
Speaker 1: I think you and I both kind of decided to
Speaker 1: do work outside of the confines of that kind of energy.
Speaker 2: So many black women. This is why we're the number
Speaker 2: one like growing, you know, to any community entrepreneurs.
Speaker 1: Yeah, honestly, because we're just like, yeah, there's actually no
Speaker 1: winning here. So I'm going to create my own thing
Speaker 1: where at least I have a fighting chance because I
Speaker 1: know that if I work really hard, the budgetiese is
Speaker 1: going to work one way or another. I don't want
Speaker 1: to be in a position where I'm like, I can
Speaker 1: work really hard and do all the right things and
Speaker 1: then it can be snatching. It doesn't mean I'm immune
Speaker 1: because still the space people still try me, Brands still
Speaker 1: try to get cute, still try to underpay.
Speaker 4: But this is why we have conversations.
Speaker 1: I'm like, what do I say, man, girl ask for this,
Speaker 1: you know, because it's just there's no way to escape
Speaker 1: this in totality.
Speaker 4: But certainly I'm trying my best to create that life
Speaker 4: for myself and then have it reflected in the women
Speaker 4: that I hire on my team. A safe space. But yeah,
Speaker 4: when I saw.
Speaker 1: That, I was just like, only to find out that,
Speaker 1: you know, the main guy, I guess that was like
Speaker 1: you know, campaigning against or his yes, his wife openly
Speaker 1: plagiarized in her thesis.
Speaker 2: I was like, oh, well yeah, And I mean she's
Speaker 2: like it was three it was one page out of
Speaker 2: three hundred, and I'm like, oh, well, but the rules
Speaker 2: are different, you know what I mean, The rules are different,
Speaker 2: and it depends on well, we don't need it. Yes,
Speaker 2: the rules are different, and the fine print only matters
Speaker 2: when people care enough to make it matter, and you're
Speaker 2: someone that they need to they need to foul out,
Speaker 2: that they need to get out the game because they
Speaker 2: figure you and everything you stand for. And if y'all
Speaker 2: haven't read Claudines op ed in The New York Times,
Speaker 2: she talks about that bigger issue so eloquently and ugh,
Speaker 2: this is real quick to if I not real quick.
Speaker 2: But I also the other side of this conversation around
Speaker 2: how we're just you know, you can be fine. You
Speaker 2: can you can definitely, you can, you can definitely reach
Speaker 2: high heights. I feel like in many institutions, as a
Speaker 2: woman of color, if you work hard enough and you
Speaker 2: get lucky enough and you know the right people, it's possible.
Speaker 2: I think both of us, especially me, like we did
Speaker 2: the damn thing until in my outspeaker for myself, I
Speaker 2: decided to leave. And one of the questions that I
Speaker 2: recently got from. I want to call them a mentee.
Speaker 2: But someone who I was like offering advice to, was well,
Speaker 2: I feel like, shouldn't I stay so that I can
Speaker 2: make it easier for the next to come after me?
Speaker 2: And you know, and the one hand, I can see
Speaker 2: that line of thought, but I also feel very at
Speaker 2: peace with how it's not our responsibility to fix those
Speaker 2: broken systems, and also we cannot because we do not
Speaker 2: hold the power. People who don't look like us have
Speaker 2: to care enough to fix the broken systems. And as
Speaker 2: long as they don't, why sit there and bang our
Speaker 2: fist up against a brick wall. It's not a ceiling,
Speaker 2: it's a brick wall sometimes, you know. And you had
Speaker 2: to also make peace with like what I got to
Speaker 2: a certain level and in corporate my corporate American career. However,
Speaker 2: along the way, I did feel like I made an impact,
Speaker 2: just you know, hiring women of color. I made sure.
Speaker 2: Secretly I was always plotting. I'm like, I'm going to
Speaker 2: hire a woman of color be my number two because
Speaker 2: I don't think I'm going to be here for another
Speaker 2: three years. And if I can leave here and say
Speaker 2: that another woman of color took my spot and gets
Speaker 2: to benefit from the negotiations. I had the clout, I
Speaker 2: earned the clout, I fought for the respective for and
Speaker 2: she gets to inherit that then, you know what, I'm
Speaker 2: good with that, and you know, let the rest of
Speaker 2: the let everyone else handle the rest. I did what
Speaker 2: I could with the little bit of power that I had.
Speaker 2: But I'm curious to hear your thoughts on that, TIF, Like,
Speaker 2: do you feel like there's an argument there that we
Speaker 2: should stick around just to see things through.
Speaker 1: I mean, I feel like every fight is not for everybody,
Speaker 1: and that there are some people who are uniquely qualified
Speaker 1: maybe to stick around. And it doesn't you know, in
Speaker 1: order to create space for other women to come behind them,
Speaker 1: for sure, but not at a detriment to your heart
Speaker 1: and your soul and if it's breaking you. Some people
Speaker 1: play the game well and enjoy that, like, you know,
Speaker 1: come come get it, you know, like I look at
Speaker 1: my friend Bosama, you know, from working at Endeavor to
Speaker 1: Papa John's, I mean, one of the most famous cmos
Speaker 1: you know out there and every place that she went.
Speaker 4: I know, people don't know.
Speaker 2: Any other famous cmos. Maybe Cheryl Sandberg. No, she was
Speaker 2: a COO yeah, yeah, you know, both of them made
Speaker 2: it possible, like.
Speaker 1: Yes, and so a lot of people had so much
Speaker 1: to say, like, oh, she don't stay in one place,
Speaker 1: but you don't see behind the scenes the people that
Speaker 1: she brought in and brought with her intentionally, you know,
Speaker 1: to be able to hear and talk to her personally,
Speaker 1: to be like, girl, I made sure this. I made
Speaker 1: sure that you don't know you know, and so. But
Speaker 1: then after a while she said it's enough. My heart
Speaker 1: and soul said it's enough. So you get to decide
Speaker 1: if you are going to stay and you are going
Speaker 1: to do the good work, you are going to fight
Speaker 1: the fight. You also can decide I've done it, I've
Speaker 1: done enough. I don't owe my heart and so I
Speaker 1: don't owe my health, I don't owe my happiness and so.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: So I mean, you only you can decide if you
Speaker 1: have it in you for the fight. And but there
Speaker 1: are other ways to fight. Just remember that, like you know,
Speaker 1: Mandy and I are fighting the fight, good fight. On
Speaker 1: the outside. I like to think about Amanda. Do you
Speaker 1: ever see like The Lord of the Rings or any
Speaker 1: of those movies where yes, there's a different plot that
Speaker 1: we've both seen, like that there's all these different plot lines.
Speaker 1: So it's like, okay, like the Wizards had to do
Speaker 1: this fight, and then the the what are the little
Speaker 1: known things on the Oh no, like yeah, the L's
Speaker 1: had to fight this fight. But then like Bilbo Baggins,
Speaker 1: like no, it's true. Like so they're like basically there's
Speaker 1: like three or four different storylines fighting the fight, and
Speaker 1: then it converges at the end. And so just know
Speaker 1: that you don't have to be in every storyline.
Speaker 4: That you could stick right in your lane.
Speaker 1: And if you once you get to your place, I
Speaker 1: promise you your sisters in corporate, you go see them.
Speaker 4: You will converge.
Speaker 1: Your sisters in in you know, social work, you'll see them.
Speaker 1: Your sisters also in entrepreneurship, you'll see them. So if
Speaker 1: we all are in our lanes where we excel and
Speaker 1: fight that fight there we can converge to create something
Speaker 1: more powerful. It's okay not to fight and necessary not
Speaker 1: to fight in every fight, but.
Speaker 2: There's a difference between choosing to be there for the
Speaker 2: fight and being forced to. And because you do have
Speaker 2: no other options, give yourself options. I feel like it's
Speaker 2: the key takeaway. Stack your coins so you can hit
Speaker 2: that eject button your damn self when you're ready, or
Speaker 2: so that if someone does it before you're ready, that
Speaker 2: they didn't catch you slipping. That you have something, you
Speaker 2: have an emergency shoot because you built it yourself. You know,
Speaker 2: that's what it's all about. And then find community and
Speaker 2: others like Brown Ambition, Mandy money Makers, dream Catchers where
Speaker 2: you can feel like, Okay, I don't have to stay
Speaker 2: because like, there are so many badasses out there who
Speaker 2: are fighting the good fight or have chosen to go
Speaker 2: and you're being in a vacuum. It makes you feel
Speaker 2: like but I'm the only one who can know. There's
Speaker 2: so many more of us.
Speaker 4: Out, so many more.
Speaker 1: That's actually go to my Brown Boost. I have a
Speaker 1: gift for y'all, So stay aroun for Brown Boost promers.
Speaker 1: We're gonnak a break in a minute. But yeah, so
Speaker 1: I got a gift for you to start the new
Speaker 1: year off. Okay, I love that.
Speaker 2: I would love to take a break. And that was
Speaker 2: Brown Ambition, a buzz worthy little holy but goodie. I
Speaker 2: just think we should continue doing that.
Speaker 1: That was no I think so too.
Speaker 2: Yeah, all right, be back in a minute, ba fam,
Speaker 2: and we're back in black and Brown. Yes, I know right,
Speaker 2: I felt the harm. Did you see the Color Purple?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 1: I need to girl, I just honestly, I want to go,
Speaker 1: like on a Wednesday night and no one's there, just
Speaker 1: so I can watch it without you know. I love
Speaker 1: my people, but sometimes we do a lot when we
Speaker 1: watch movies.
Speaker 2: I haven't I would, I have not seen it. I'm
Speaker 2: so mad. Here's my confession, real quick. I know we're
Speaker 2: going to do bron boos. I want to hear the song. However,
Speaker 2: my confession is that I saw the Taylor Swift Eras
Speaker 2: concert movie before Renaissance. Do you want to know why?
Speaker 2: Because that shit's available on streaming And Beyonce, I did
Speaker 2: see your show live and I yes, and it will
Speaker 2: forever be a car memory. That's one of the best
Speaker 2: days of my life. Five top five. But I it's
Speaker 2: so hard to get out to a movie theater. Now
Speaker 2: that I've got daycare, I get to go like, you know,
Speaker 2: the eleven thirty showing on a weekday. That's when I thrive. Yeah, so,
Speaker 2: Color Purple, I'm coming for you, Renaissance. If you're still
Speaker 2: in theaters, I don't know. I'm gonna come for you too, right,
Speaker 2: I'm not so mad.
Speaker 1: I don't see because I haven't seen Renaissance, but because
Speaker 1: I was, like girl, we was in club Renaissance on
Speaker 1: the floor, damn Near and Beyonce.
Speaker 2: Oh but yeah, the Eras concertory is great. She's a great,
Speaker 2: great gal. I love it. I'm a swiftye. I don't mind.
Speaker 2: I think I've Why should it be something you confess?
Speaker 4: Yeah, Taylor Swift. I see her early stuff like we
Speaker 4: were a bothy.
Speaker 2: She writes her way out of every fucking chapter. She
Speaker 2: is a pat like when you when you want inspiration
Speaker 2: to be creative and create art and no one can,
Speaker 2: no matter what. If you're creating your own art and
Speaker 2: you own that shit, you're unstoppable. That's what I love
Speaker 2: about day Yeah, I call.
Speaker 4: It well, I call it so Mike. Can I do?
Speaker 4: Go first?
Speaker 1: From Brown Break Brown Booth?
Speaker 2: Are you gonna sing us in? We didn't get to
Speaker 2: do the little intro? How does it go?
Speaker 4: How does it go?
Speaker 2: I know?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 2: Day Breaker, Booster, Oh.
Speaker 1: Now it's time to booster breaker, Booster Baker, Booster breaker boost.
Speaker 4: Are you gonna boost? Are you going to wait? What
Speaker 4: you're gonna do?
Speaker 1: What you gonna do?
Speaker 4: Is that a Stanley cup.
Speaker 2: First of all, I am such a basic bitch. No,
Speaker 2: it's not my sister. The one. One of the fun
Speaker 2: memories from Christmas is like the kitchen counter at my
Speaker 2: brother's house was like a sea of Stanley's because my mom.
Speaker 2: Y'all know, I'm half white, okay, and I love This
Speaker 2: is not a Stanley. My sister got this for me though,
Speaker 2: because I tease her about her Stanley all the time.
Speaker 2: But there was so many Stanley's. This is a brumante.
Speaker 2: And you know why, I think that's what it's called.
Speaker 2: It's probably called the brumand but I just tried to
Speaker 2: make it fancy brew matte. She got me. That's because look,
Speaker 2: it doesn't spill, and the because my ship gets knocked over,
Speaker 2: the child will always come, you know, and just like
Speaker 2: help me put it on the floor because that's what
Speaker 2: they think I want. Yeah, I don't know where she
Speaker 2: got it, but thank you, Mallory. And also, way, one
Speaker 2: more thing, this is not my boos, but one more thing. Okay,
Speaker 2: you guys see the hair.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I was gonna ask you, how'd you straighten?
Speaker 2: It's so silly. Please one of those.
Speaker 1: My sister Lisa has one of those does.
Speaker 2: It really work? Well, you're looking at the product, so
Speaker 2: you an one of these. Really, this is like and
Speaker 2: it's not even the Big Lots version mine. It looks
Speaker 2: like a sex toy, doesn't it. It kind of gives
Speaker 2: me like dil Yes, if you a dildo and a
Speaker 2: shop back had a baby, that would be the red Air.
Speaker 2: This is what I'm holding up for those who can't see.
Speaker 2: It's a Revair okay, which I'm sure you've seen on
Speaker 2: your Instagram feed or TikTok feed. It's hilarious. My daddy
Speaker 2: got me that.
Speaker 4: I told him that a long time to do it this.
Speaker 2: It took about an hour to do like yeah, and
Speaker 2: that's after I did it once. It took like an
Speaker 2: hour and a half because I was so like, so awkward.
Speaker 2: It's so I'll give my review. I'm not telling anyone
Speaker 2: to go out and buy it. I did not buy it.
Speaker 2: I told my dad I wanted it as a joke
Speaker 2: for my birthday. I was like, yeah, I want this
Speaker 2: rev Air thing, Dad, and it's almost like he was like, okay,
Speaker 2: challenge accepted. So I got it as a Christmas gift.
Speaker 2: So that was very thoughtful and it was so funny.
Speaker 2: Because like my dad growing up, it would be the
Speaker 2: Big Lots version of whatever I wanted. No, I'm serious,
Speaker 2: I wanted the Adidas that have the three stripes. He's like,
Speaker 2: Big Lots has an Adida's looking type vessel for your feet.
Speaker 2: I want the new Mary J. Blige and Alicia Keys album.
Speaker 2: Here you go. Oh, don't mind that, it's you know,
Speaker 2: bootleg from the guy at the corner store, like he
Speaker 2: was always. He was a man who liked to save
Speaker 2: a buck. But he got me the real red there.
Speaker 2: And no, don't go by it. It's not that it
Speaker 2: doesn't do anything more than a hair dry doesn't. It's
Speaker 2: so heavy and so awkward, and yeah, I'm not I
Speaker 2: will use it just because now I will just think
Speaker 2: about my dad each time. But it's ridiculous, it's so silly.
Speaker 2: Don't buy it, all right, continue we Oh?
Speaker 1: I so actually maybe I think this is like this
Speaker 1: is so I'm doing the Liverature Challenge again this year.
Speaker 4: We usually start the first week of January, but girl,
Speaker 4: it was January.
Speaker 1: Okay, Yeah, so I decided and said that the new
Speaker 1: Literature Challenge is starting next week January fifteenth. So this
Speaker 1: is the first challenge that Mandy and I actually did
Speaker 1: together when you were working with Nick over there at
Speaker 1: Credit sessiit. He was, no, why are we mane Magnified
Speaker 1: Money because they sponsored it was your first one though, No,
Speaker 1: but first one that I like you and I kind
Speaker 1: of partnered.
Speaker 2: Yes.
Speaker 1: Yes, And so it's the Literature Challenge Credit Edition. And
Speaker 1: so the way the Literature Challenges work it's that they're
Speaker 1: twenty two days, so they're three weeks, and every week
Speaker 1: we have a focus that has a credit theme. So
Speaker 1: last year's theme was savings. This year's theme is credit.
Speaker 1: So Week one is all about like what is credit?
Speaker 1: How do you accumulate it?
Speaker 2: What?
Speaker 1: Like what makes credit up? Week two is all about
Speaker 1: how do I raise my credit score? And Week three
Speaker 1: is all about maintenance, maintenance, maintenance, And we're doing it
Speaker 1: live together, so that means January fifteenth, we already have
Speaker 1: three hundred thousand people signed up, So you ain't going
Speaker 1: to be a Holy Sugar yes, and so you're not
Speaker 1: going to be alone and we're going to do a
Speaker 1: live So for the first time, we used to let
Speaker 1: people sign up whenever, but it got to be too
Speaker 1: confusing and with this many people, now we're doing it
Speaker 1: as a cohort. So we're starting on the fifteenth and
Speaker 1: it ends on the fifth, I believe of February, so
Speaker 1: you only have until January fourteenth to sign up. After that,
Speaker 1: you're gonna go to the site and it's gonna tell
Speaker 1: you can't sign up because you can't and until this
Speaker 1: cohort is done, and then we'll reopen it up again
Speaker 1: for the next cohort.
Speaker 4: So you have until.
Speaker 1: January fourteenth, midnight Eastern Standard time to sign up. It's
Speaker 1: totally free, it's always been free. You're gonna go to
Speaker 1: l RC for Literature Challenge LRC credit dot com. Like
Speaker 1: I said, it's totally free. It's twenty two days. It's
Speaker 1: a lot of fun. When you sign up, you're gonna
Speaker 1: we'll invite you to like a group, like a community group,
Speaker 1: or we'll all work on it together. Every week I
Speaker 1: go live to answer questions and offer encouragement. Honestly, it's
Speaker 1: a really good time. It's just that No, it's not,
Speaker 1: it's just that anything. I'm just like, I just know
Speaker 1: that credit is one of the things that holds people back,
Speaker 1: and so I wanted to do the credit edition this year.
Speaker 1: And so yeah, just you know, anybody's free to join.
Speaker 1: You don't have to be a woman, you don't have
Speaker 1: to be a black woman.
Speaker 4: It could be anyone.
Speaker 1: It's totally free l RC credit dot Com, but you
Speaker 1: only have until January fourteenth midnight to sign up.
Speaker 4: You get a starter kit right away.
Speaker 2: And you, guys, see the damn thing with your freebies.
Speaker 2: It's not like you know, it's not like you get
Speaker 2: what you pay for. You get so much more. I
Speaker 2: know what I tell you.
Speaker 1: For low key, we have announced it's any place else,
Speaker 1: but we created an app, our first app. You are
Speaker 1: really are happy.
Speaker 4: I'm now it looks so damn good. It's called money Match.
Speaker 4: I know it's not.
Speaker 1: Good, I mean and all like honestly, it's just I'm
Speaker 1: really excited because it's just we have taken it to
Speaker 1: the next level. And so yeah, so LRC credit dot
Speaker 1: Com and BTE whoever you want do not do it alone.
Speaker 1: If you don't have anyone to do it with, that's
Speaker 1: okay because there's already three hundred thousand people.
Speaker 4: You can do it with.
Speaker 1: And I'll remind you when we do our Friday, you know,
Speaker 1: be b a q A, I'll remind you again. But
Speaker 1: but yeah, I just wanted to invite every one because
Speaker 1: I want us to start the year off strong, you know,
Speaker 1: with the tools and resources you need for success, and
Speaker 1: credit is one of them.
Speaker 2: I love that.
Speaker 1: Maybe not we have We'll put the link in the
Speaker 1: show notes so I won't forget I don't let me
Speaker 1: forget any money.
Speaker 4: Let's put the link LRC credit. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, now that I have daycare childcare, maybe I'll do
Speaker 2: a challenge too. I would love to do a challenge
Speaker 2: around like pivoting, because I've done surveys of my community
Speaker 2: and the number one goal of people is not just
Speaker 2: to get a new job, is to pivot into a
Speaker 2: different field. Okay, and that's my favorite. That's my favorite
Speaker 2: kind of person to coach because it's one of the
Speaker 2: scariest things you need to coach, because pivoting is so scary.
Speaker 2: I'm not going to say it's hard. I mean it is, obviously,
Speaker 2: it takes effort, but the hardest part is just doing
Speaker 2: it and giving yourself permission. All right, So excited for
Speaker 2: you and this decade long? How long have you been
Speaker 2: doing the liverature challenge? Is it been a decade?
Speaker 1: I think the first one I did one. I want
Speaker 1: to say two, yeah, twenty twenty three or twenty four,
Speaker 1: so almost ten years.
Speaker 2: I mean thirteen four team, but yes, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: That's what I mean. But yeah almost. I mean we
Speaker 1: definitely had some years that we skip, like you know,
Speaker 1: the pandemic, because we were like, yeah, anybody do nothing,
Speaker 1: But yeah, no, I think that. Yeah, it's been just
Speaker 1: about ten years, and I'm really excited because we've helped
Speaker 1: literally millions of people through the challenge and it just
Speaker 1: keeps getting better. And it's my it's my give back
Speaker 1: every year, you know, because I know my rules always
Speaker 1: you don't have to spend money with me in order
Speaker 1: to get financial.
Speaker 4: Help because I have other things.
Speaker 1: Certainly I have like books and things like that, and
Speaker 1: we make money that way, so but you know, I don't.
Speaker 1: I just feel like it's my job to figure out
Speaker 1: how to make money, not your job. And so if
Speaker 1: you're needing help, I'm always going to offer ways for
Speaker 1: you to get help or you don't have to worry
Speaker 1: about it. And so you know, come on down, bring
Speaker 1: your cousins and them. It's gonna be a good time.
Speaker 2: I love it, all right. I'm gonna do a boost too,
Speaker 2: because we're being optimistic I'm gonna do a couple. First
Speaker 2: boost is that I contributed to my solo for before
Speaker 2: the end of the year. I had a whole big
Speaker 2: lump sum excuse me, and I think I maxed out
Speaker 2: my portion. But I was just very proud of myself
Speaker 2: and last year I did not do that. And so
Speaker 2: if you have a solo four one k, like you
Speaker 2: have to you have to contribute by the December thirty
Speaker 2: first to have it count for that year. Now, I
Speaker 2: can still contribute to my step I Ray, which I
Speaker 2: did last year, but you can't contribute as much because
Speaker 2: with the solo four one K, it's like almost the
Speaker 2: same as I think it is the same as like
Speaker 2: if you worked for a corporation twenty two to five
Speaker 2: or whatever it is, and then you can do a
Speaker 2: you know, like as your own employer, you can also
Speaker 2: match that. So anyway, I was very proud of myself
Speaker 2: and that I've you know gotten. I'm investing not with
Speaker 2: the same regular cadence as I was when I was
Speaker 2: nine to five, but I'm still doing it and.
Speaker 4: It's great.
Speaker 2: And thank you to my accountant, Safie for never making
Speaker 2: me feel as much of a shit show as I
Speaker 2: feel like I am with my taxes. She's always like
Speaker 2: helping me just realize, Hey, this is normal, You're good.
Speaker 2: You got me. She has my back. My other my
Speaker 2: big boost is that before the break, before the holidays,
Speaker 2: one of my you know, I have this village in
Speaker 2: my neighborhood, these women that have become just more than friends,
Speaker 2: just the people you call when you need someone and
Speaker 2: you need something and they're right here. We have this
Speaker 2: like little community of moms on my block and nearby
Speaker 2: one of them is she's a school teacher. Hey, Latania,
Speaker 2: love her. She works so damn hard. She works so hard.
Speaker 2: I don't know how she has time to come up
Speaker 2: with ideas for like community events and things like that,
Speaker 2: but she does. And I'm usually the one who's like, Latania,
Speaker 2: anybody got time for that? I'm too tired. We have
Speaker 2: to do and I'm like a thing for every holiday.
Speaker 2: But she wanted to do like a holiday party for
Speaker 2: the moms in the neighborhood, and I was like, and
Speaker 2: I thought about it, and I said no, no, but yes,
Speaker 2: let's not do a holiday party because this is the
Speaker 2: most stressful time for moms. If you really liked women
Speaker 2: and moms in general, you would do Mother's Day like
Speaker 2: the week after the holidays, and you would give all
Speaker 2: the moms off a week and give us a spot
Speaker 2: day because the holidays are so much work and for Latania.
Speaker 2: So I was like, no, however, let's do a Mom's
Speaker 2: Night in in January. So I picked the twentieth and
Speaker 2: I'm hosting about twenty moms here at my house and
Speaker 2: I'm not just hosting them. We're gonna do like a
Speaker 2: using those tiktoks. Latania I had to say yes to something,
Speaker 2: and she wanted us to do the boards like everyone
Speaker 2: does a different board, like you do the taco board,
Speaker 2: dessert board, it's charcuterie, but it's like different themes. You know,
Speaker 2: you do the blue board. Everything's got to be blue
Speaker 2: and anyway, So I said yes, and we're gonna wear
Speaker 2: nice jammies. We're probably gonna do a hot chocolate bar.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna do oh Husban got me the best gift
Speaker 2: so maker, way too expensive, but the most I am.
Speaker 2: So I love this man because this espresso maker is
Speaker 2: so good. So I'm gonna have an espresso martini bar
Speaker 2: for the girls who im vibe, and then a hot
Speaker 2: chocolate bar goodie bags, because I goodie bags for everyone
Speaker 2: and they're going to be good, Like I'm gonna put
Speaker 2: things we actually use in the goodie bags. I haven't
Speaker 2: told anybody, but I'm basically treating it with the same
Speaker 2: care that we give to like a four year old's party,
Speaker 2: because if you know, four year old's party are expensive
Speaker 2: and you got to invise people and you gotta do
Speaker 2: goodie bags, and there has to be like, you know,
Speaker 2: the right treats and the right decor. So I'm really
Speaker 2: excited Mom's Night In is happening on the twentieth, so
Speaker 2: uh yeah, I think it'll be a good time, and
Speaker 2: I'm excited to put some effort into other moms and
Speaker 2: not just the kids are great, but I think we
Speaker 2: deserve Yeah, I know, we deserve.
Speaker 1: That and a good, good, good goodie like you know,
Speaker 1: I love that honestly. So we're back and we're black
Speaker 1: for the new year. We would love to know, like,
Speaker 1: what are kind of your your hope streams and wishes
Speaker 1: for your twenty twenty four You can you can tweet us,
Speaker 1: you can you know, hit us up on ig Barna
Speaker 1: Vision podcast or the BA podcast on Twitter. We'd love
Speaker 1: to know like, what are your what are you excited
Speaker 1: about for the new year?
Speaker 4: What do you need help with? Maybe you need us
Speaker 4: to talk about something more, you know, And what's out?
Speaker 2: That's the mean now, yes and hydration, smiling out, stressing right.
Speaker 1: Hustle right, So yeah, we'd love to know until Friday.
Speaker 1: We will see you on Friday for b a qaa.
Speaker 2: So happy to be back me too.
Speaker 4: All right, bye y'all,