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Speaker 1: This is a miracle, there is no question, and there

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Speaker 1: are problems in this country between police and community.

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Speaker 2: Yes, you are a donkey.

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Speaker 3: The latest on that police killing of a black man,

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Speaker 3: now the new developments in the definitely spawshooting rampase, then

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Speaker 3: yes they it was a really bad day for him

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Speaker 3: and this is what he did, and.

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Speaker 2: So we are in a state of emergency. Okay.

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Speaker 4: White supremacist violence is always have been the number one

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Speaker 4: threat to our society.

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Speaker 2: But I'm also very proud that my wife was white.

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Speaker 2: The breakfast club bitches.

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Speaker 5: All right, Frenny, please tell me why was I your.

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Speaker 4: Donkey of the day. Donkey Today for Thursday of January

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Speaker 4: eleventh goes to one of the most unseerious yet hilarious

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Speaker 4: places in America, Capitol Hill. Now, I spent a lot

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Speaker 4: of time watching CNN, MSNBC, Fox News simply because some

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Speaker 4: of the best comedy in the country is coming from

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Speaker 4: these places. I know there is places folks go for comedy,

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Speaker 4: as comedy houses, comedy clubs all over the country. But

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Speaker 4: the best dramedy, which is my favorite genre, the best

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Speaker 4: is coming.

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Speaker 2: Live from Washington, DC. Okay, Look, I hate to be

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Speaker 2: the pessimist here.

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Speaker 4: But unless God intervened, we are in the America series finale.

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Speaker 4: All right, listen, all great empires folage some point, it's

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Speaker 4: inevitable for America to do the same.

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Speaker 2: We had a pretty decent run. And I know what

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Speaker 2: you're thinking.

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Speaker 4: If you are a minority in this country, You're like, no,

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Speaker 4: we have not had a decent run. Listen, trust me,

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Speaker 4: After this year, you are going to be begging for

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Speaker 4: old America back.

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Speaker 2: All right.

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Speaker 4: Once this country gets to taste the true fascism and

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Speaker 4: authoritarian rule, we're gonna be begging to get regular, good

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Speaker 4: old racist, homophobic, sexist America back. But I digress. Let's

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Speaker 4: get back to the comedy show that is Capitol Hill. Yesterday,

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Speaker 4: Hunter Biden, all right, decided to make a surprise guessappearance

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Speaker 4: to a Congressional contempt hearing about him. Yes, Hunter Biden

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Speaker 4: refused to appear for a private deposition on Capitol Hill

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Speaker 4: as part of Republicans impeachment inquiry and the President Joe Biden,

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Speaker 4: which centers on allegations of corruption by the President and

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Speaker 4: his family. And I don't blame Hunter at all. I'm

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Speaker 4: not doing a private deposition with the ops. Okay, let's

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Speaker 4: do this publicly for the world to hear, because I

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Speaker 4: don't trust y'all. They should have sworn him in right

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Speaker 4: there and spoke to him in front of the world.

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Speaker 4: But let's look at the reality of the situation. The

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Speaker 4: GOP is just torturing Hunter Biden in order to kill Joe.

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Speaker 2: That's all it is.

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Speaker 4: Republicans are given an Hunter Biden, pure hell, torturing him

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Speaker 4: in front of his father, hoping that President Biden has

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Speaker 4: a heart attack. That's all this is. Republicans are on

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Speaker 4: a seek and destroy mission. They just want to hurt

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Speaker 4: the Bidens, and it's hard to work with people who

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Speaker 4: aren't operating in good faith. So yes, two Republican Ledhouse

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Speaker 4: committees passed resolutions recommending that Hunter Biden be found and

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Speaker 4: contempt the Congress for refusing to be deposed behind closed doors.

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Speaker 4: But yeah, you not talking to me behind closed doors.

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Speaker 4: I'm sure all of us at some point have been

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Speaker 4: told if someone walks upon you with a gun or

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Speaker 4: a weapon and tries to get you to go somewhere else,

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Speaker 4: you don't go.

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Speaker 2: Whatever you want to do, do it to me right here.

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Speaker 4: That's the position Hunter Biden is in, And I don't

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Speaker 4: blame him for not going behind closed doors with people

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Speaker 4: who are clearly out to get him and his family.

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Speaker 4: I'm sure that's why he came to the hearing to

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Speaker 4: let y'all know I'm not hiding when I'm not going

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Speaker 4: behind closed.

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Speaker 2: Doors with y'all. I thought he was a complete.

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Speaker 4: Sucker for storming out, but I'm glad he did because

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Speaker 4: the comedy.

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Speaker 2: That ensued was priceless.

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Speaker 4: Now let's start with the congress woman from South Carolina

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Speaker 4: and Nancy Mason. She said it off on Hunter because

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Speaker 4: she was one of the only Republicans who had the

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Speaker 4: opportunity to directly confront him.

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Speaker 2: Let's listen.

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Speaker 3: First of all, my first question is who bribed Hunter

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Speaker 3: Biden to be here today?

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Speaker 2: That's my first question. Second question, You are the epitome

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Speaker 2: of white privilege coming into the Oversight Committee, spitting in

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Speaker 2: our face, ignoring a congressional subpoena to be deposed. What

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Speaker 2: are you afraid of? You have no balls to come

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Speaker 2: up here, and mister chairman, wart of iny.

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Speaker 1: Mister Chairman, I think that that Hunter Biden should be

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Speaker 1: arrested right here, right now and go straight to jail.

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Speaker 2: You are the epitome of white privilege and you have

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Speaker 2: no balls.

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Speaker 4: Fun fact, Nancy Mason and I attended the same high school,

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Speaker 4: Strafford High School, Goose Creek, South Carolina.

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Speaker 2: Dropping the clues bomb for Scraford.

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Speaker 4: High School, she dropped out, I got kicked up, and

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Speaker 4: her mother and my mother will both teachers at the

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Speaker 4: same school. Yes, Miss may SMIs McKelvey. I can't make

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Speaker 4: this up to me and Nancy cool all right. I

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Speaker 4: disagree with her that Hunter has no balls. I think

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Speaker 4: it takes a lot of balls to show up to

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Speaker 4: a contempt hearing about yourself, especially when you know what

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Speaker 4: the backlash will be because you already ignored this subpoena.

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Speaker 2: And I do agree.

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Speaker 4: It is a level of white privilege and who my

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Speaker 4: daddy is that made Hunter move like this. But it's

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Speaker 4: also Nancy what we call caucassidy unmelanated gall.

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Speaker 2: That's what Hunter was really showing, y'all.

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Speaker 4: He had the caucassidy, the unmelanated gall, the wipe his

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Speaker 4: ass with y'all subpoena, just like Donald Trump has always done.

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Speaker 4: Now it gets better. Representative Robert Garcia, California. He started

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Speaker 4: going in on Marjorie Tayler Green and he tapped her

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Speaker 4: jaw for showing penis picks that hearings in the past.

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Speaker 2: Listen, it's really.

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Speaker 3: Interesting to hear the gentle lady from Georgia speak about

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Speaker 3: Hunter Biden leaving. And she is a person that showed

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Speaker 3: nude photos of Hunter Biden, showing showing picks in this

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Speaker 3: committee room of Hunter to this committee, in this very room.

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Speaker 2: What the hell is happening on Capitol Hill penis picks.

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Speaker 4: Purity is out the window in politics, or should I

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Speaker 4: say the perception of purity. We know y'all have never

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Speaker 4: been pure, but there's no need to keep acting like it.

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Speaker 4: Y'all ghetto just like the rest of the world. Y'all

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Speaker 4: just chose to go into politics. There's one more I

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Speaker 4: want to play before I get into my favorite part.

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Speaker 4: This is Representative Prima Primila Jaya Powell. I'm messing her

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Speaker 4: name all the way, yes, but listen to what she

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Speaker 4: said about Donald Trump and what he incited.

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Speaker 1: But if we're gonna talk about outrageous things that have

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Speaker 1: happened or things that have never happened, let's talk about

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Speaker 1: the fact that President Trump incited an erection and.

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Speaker 2: Maybe that too.

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Speaker 5: Wow, they can talk about that too, I guess maybe

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Speaker 5: that too.

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Speaker 4: I know yesterday was hump dy all right, But between

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Speaker 4: Nancy Mays talk about balls, Robert Garcia's golden Marjorie Tailorgreen

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Speaker 4: for penis picks, and Representative Jayapal saying Trump incided an erection,

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Speaker 4: y'all was extra honey on Capitol Hill yesterday it was

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Speaker 4: a party par Okay.

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Speaker 2: Now, I want to know who's erection to Trump in site?

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Speaker 4: We found out last year it was the Democratic Senate

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Speaker 4: staff of having sex with another man in the Senate

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Speaker 4: hearing room. So we already know that men insight other

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Speaker 4: men to have erections on the hill.

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Speaker 2: So who amongst us has a ding dong for the Donald?

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Speaker 4: Now let's get into my favorite part of yesterday's mess

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Speaker 4: when Hunter by the oh we got bought?

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Speaker 2: This is the best part.

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Speaker 4: When Hunter Biden stormed out the House House hearing after

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Speaker 4: showing up unexpectedly.

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Speaker 2: He stepped out of the.

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Speaker 4: Frying pan into the fire because there was a reporter

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Speaker 4: on the scene asking all the questions inquiring minds wanted

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Speaker 4: to know.

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Speaker 3: Listen, please, I'll answer your question if you beat quiet

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Speaker 3: and let me make a statement.

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Speaker 2: Okay, practice you normally.

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Speaker 5: Smoke, mister Biden.

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Speaker 2: What kind of crack do you normally smoke? There's more

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Speaker 2: where the rest of it at? That? When he asked

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Speaker 2: about what type of crack, it was y'all don't have that.

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Speaker 4: Huh gosh, come on, man, y'all always failed me here.

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Speaker 4: I truly don't know how shoals like SNL are still

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Speaker 4: on because everything is a spoof and real life is funnier.

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Speaker 2: Daily Show, Where are are you? Okay?

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Speaker 4: Nobody makes fun of political news stories better than the

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Speaker 4: Daily Show? When are y'all coming back? And with what hosts?

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Speaker 4: I'm getting sidetracked dropping the clues bombs to the reporter

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Speaker 4: for asking real questions, okay, the real questions.

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Speaker 2: People wanted to know. Do we have that? Do we

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Speaker 2: have the rest of it?

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Speaker 4: Chet? Okay, well, never mind, people wanted to know these things.

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Speaker 4: You remember when my good brother Killer Mike was on

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Speaker 4: one of my TV shows that got canceled, and he said, this.

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Speaker 5: Jail because you don't want to sell that smoking cracking constitute.

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Speaker 2: He's right, okay.

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Speaker 4: And furthermore, the reporter asked Hunter Biden, not only you

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Speaker 4: know you are you smoking crack? What type of crack

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Speaker 4: do you smoke? I have no idea I had no

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Speaker 4: idea that was types of crack? Did you know that envy?

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Speaker 2: I did not.

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Speaker 4: What level of privilege do you have to be able

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Speaker 4: to have uh to get types of crack? Is that

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Speaker 4: like a crack in Robbins folks go to so they

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Speaker 4: can taste thirty one flavors of that fried cocaine.

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Speaker 2: What flavors do they have?

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Speaker 4: Pistachio, almond cracked, strawberryry, cheese crack, rainbow Sherbert crack, Reese's

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Speaker 4: peanut butter crack, Oreo cookies, and crack mint chocolate crack.

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Speaker 4: I didn't know when we referred to crack as butter.

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Speaker 4: We was talking about Peacan's old fashioned butter pecan crack.

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Speaker 4: That reporter did fantastic, But he would have really stuck

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Speaker 4: the landing if he knew kulture, Because you're supposed to

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Speaker 4: end that line of questioning with the famous words of

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Speaker 4: Morgan Freeman playing Joe clark On, lean on.

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Speaker 3: Me, you're smoke crack.

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Speaker 2: Don't you h your smoke cracked?

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Speaker 3: Don't you look at me by smoke crack?

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Speaker 4: If you would have hit him with that, if he

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Speaker 4: would have hit on a bidon with that ten ten

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Speaker 4: all across the board, listen, man, do y'all understand that

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Speaker 4: it's only January eleventh of twenty twenty four and it's

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Speaker 4: an election year. I knew the series finale of America

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Speaker 4: was gonna be great, but we.

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Speaker 2: Haven't even gotten to the good part yet.

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Speaker 4: As the good brother, Little du Ball says, if you're

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Speaker 4: not laughing at life, you are missing the point.

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Speaker 2: Furthermore, what else we supposed to do? Okay?

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Speaker 4: I truly believe this is above all of us. Now,

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Speaker 4: only God can figure any of this because humans simply can't.

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Speaker 4: Please let me, Mom, give everybody on Capitol healthy entire

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Speaker 4: Congress donkey of today.

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Speaker 2: Hee ha he ha, you stupid mother? Are you dumb?

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Speaker 2: All right?

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Speaker 5: Yes, well, thank you for that donkey today? Now we

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Speaker 5: come back, Let's open up the phone lines.

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Speaker 2: Ain't got nothing we do.

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Speaker 5: Let's talk parental competition. I'm gonna tell you where this

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Speaker 5: comes from. Shout to Macau. Producer came up with this idea.

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Speaker 5: He was asking, as parents, do y'all have friendly competition?

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Speaker 5: And what does that mean?

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Speaker 2: Well?

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Speaker 5: Travis Balker's ex wife expresses a frustration that she consistently

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Speaker 5: uh tries to outdo her in parenting. Well, what does

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Speaker 5: that mean explained. So when the kids are out with mommy,

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Speaker 5: they might do something else, But when the kids are

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Speaker 5: out with dadd or, you try to make it even

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Speaker 5: more fun. You try to make it better. You try

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Speaker 5: to make the experience better with dad than you do

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Speaker 5: with mom. So that is the question. Eight hundred and

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Speaker 5: five eighty five one oh five to one. Do y'all

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Speaker 5: have parental competition? You don't have that with your wife

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Speaker 5: when you go to kid.

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Speaker 2: No, why what's the point.

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Speaker 4: We're a family, we're having a good time together. No,

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Speaker 4: you're stupid. So if you do stuff like that, I

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Speaker 4: can I can see you doing dumb sy No.

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Speaker 5: I do fun stuff with the kids that I know

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Speaker 5: that mom won't do. Like I know that if I

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Speaker 5: take my kids to the jumpparll, I know my wife's

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Speaker 5: not jumping around and no damn jump hall. But I

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Speaker 5: do it with my kids because we have more fun.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, we got a competition though, because she's choosing. She

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Speaker 2: don't want to do it. That's true. It's not even competition.

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Speaker 2: She don't want to do it, that's true.

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Speaker 5: But that's the question. Eight hundred and five eight five

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Speaker 5: one oh five one. We're talking parental competition. Do you

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Speaker 5: have that competition within your family? Less discussed, Not if

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Speaker 5: it's a family.

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Speaker 4: Maybe if y'all separated and you know, you got a

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Speaker 4: house over here, she got a house over there, and

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Speaker 4: y'all not together, But there's no competition if y'all have a.

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Speaker 2: Family, why we let's discuss. It's the breakfast Luggle morning,

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Speaker 2: the breakfast Club,