1
00:00:01,120 --> 00:00:03,960
Speaker 1: This week at the Parlor Live Comedy Club from Saturday

2
00:00:04,040 --> 00:00:07,760
Speaker 1: Night Live Chris Catan March thirteenth through the fifteenth. Tickets

3
00:00:07,760 --> 00:00:10,600
Speaker 1: are available at Parlorlive dot com and you can call

4
00:00:10,680 --> 00:00:15,640
Speaker 1: four two five two eight nine seven thousand. It's another

5
00:00:16,200 --> 00:00:20,880
Speaker 1: three mornings on the twenties. You were shouting two hundred

6
00:00:20,920 --> 00:00:26,400
Speaker 1: and fifty bucks next. Hello. Hi is Lauren there? Hey,

7
00:00:26,440 --> 00:00:28,680
Speaker 1: this is Lauren, Lauren. How are you? This is Tyson.

8
00:00:29,120 --> 00:00:32,120
Speaker 1: You've been talking with my wife Kate about the nanny position.

9
00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:36,320
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh. Yeah, Hi, Hi. Um listen, I know

10
00:00:36,360 --> 00:00:38,559
Speaker 1: that my wife thinks you're perfect for the job. I

11
00:00:38,600 --> 00:00:40,559
Speaker 1: just wanted to call myself and ask you a few

12
00:00:40,640 --> 00:00:43,320
Speaker 1: questions before we made a final decision. Is that okay?

13
00:00:43,720 --> 00:00:46,879
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, of course, definitely wonderful. Thank you. Now, she

14
00:00:46,920 --> 00:00:48,040
Speaker 1: mentioned to me that you do have a lot of

15
00:00:48,080 --> 00:00:52,520
Speaker 1: nanny experience. Ah, yes, they do, so eight years experience.

16
00:00:54,640 --> 00:00:58,720
Speaker 1: I'm sorry you said eight years. M h okay, that's good.

17
00:00:58,800 --> 00:01:06,640
Speaker 1: That's are you? Are you okay? No, I'm not. Oh

18
00:01:06,680 --> 00:01:10,000
Speaker 1: my god, this is you know. She's sleeping with the

19
00:01:10,040 --> 00:01:19,119
Speaker 1: guy who cuts our lawn, right, um uh yeah, my wife,

20
00:01:19,440 --> 00:01:21,960
Speaker 1: my wife Kate, the one you've been talking to about

21
00:01:21,959 --> 00:01:25,399
Speaker 1: the nanny position. She's she's sleeping with the guy who

22
00:01:25,440 --> 00:01:34,880
Speaker 1: cuts our lawn. Uh, oh my god. I um, I don't.

23
00:01:34,920 --> 00:01:40,560
Speaker 1: I don't know. I've only talked to her a few times, so, um,

24
00:01:42,080 --> 00:01:43,759
Speaker 1: you know, talk to her a little more. I'm sure

25
00:01:43,800 --> 00:01:46,000
Speaker 1: she'll start telling you all gouts of stories about what

26
00:01:46,040 --> 00:01:54,760
Speaker 1: a stallion is. Um um, this is really weird. I know.

27
00:01:54,800 --> 00:01:58,400
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. I just wanted to ask you a few

28
00:01:58,480 --> 00:02:01,240
Speaker 1: questions about how qualify you were to be a nanny here,

29
00:02:01,360 --> 00:02:03,200
Speaker 1: and then it got me thinking about people that help

30
00:02:03,200 --> 00:02:05,120
Speaker 1: out around the house, and they got me thinking about

31
00:02:05,160 --> 00:02:07,360
Speaker 1: what he does to my wife when I'm not around.

32
00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:11,720
Speaker 1: Oh my god, know that I'm the person you should

33
00:02:11,720 --> 00:02:15,600
Speaker 1: be talking your marriage. You know that she makes fun

34
00:02:15,639 --> 00:02:21,800
Speaker 1: of my body right O. God, she calls me jelly roll.

35
00:02:22,440 --> 00:02:24,920
Speaker 1: I'm sure she probably said to you like, hey, my husband,

36
00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:28,840
Speaker 1: jelly roll is gonna be calling tell me a little

37
00:02:28,919 --> 00:02:31,799
Speaker 1: thing and your wife never you know what she did

38
00:02:31,800 --> 00:02:36,600
Speaker 1: to me the other day. She donut at me and said,

39
00:02:36,720 --> 00:02:42,800
Speaker 1: go fetch patty. Oh, I don't know that I'm the

40
00:02:42,840 --> 00:02:45,240
Speaker 1: person that you want to be telling. Oh and there

41
00:02:45,360 --> 00:02:49,720
Speaker 1: you go laughing at me too. No, No, I'm not

42
00:02:49,919 --> 00:02:52,320
Speaker 1: I'm not laughing at you. I can't help it. If

43
00:02:52,400 --> 00:02:59,040
Speaker 1: my life donuts, I can't. They're delicious, you know, don't cry.

44
00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:03,920
Speaker 1: It's okay. You know everyone everyone likes donuts. That's what

45
00:03:04,080 --> 00:03:07,800
Speaker 1: I said. I said everybody likes donuts, not just me,

46
00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:11,320
Speaker 1: but just like, oh, it's all the donuts around here,

47
00:03:14,080 --> 00:03:16,320
Speaker 1: mister Crawford. I just, I just I don't know that

48
00:03:16,320 --> 00:03:19,320
Speaker 1: it's ums gonna be like appropriate for me that to

49
00:03:19,440 --> 00:03:22,960
Speaker 1: nanny for you guys. No, no, no, no, don't say that.

50
00:03:23,200 --> 00:03:26,400
Speaker 1: I think you're great. I will double the pay. I'll

51
00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:29,359
Speaker 1: double what we were offering you. If you come to

52
00:03:29,480 --> 00:03:34,280
Speaker 1: any for us, You'll double it. Here's the thing. I

53
00:03:34,320 --> 00:03:36,120
Speaker 1: will double it, but only if you do this. And

54
00:03:36,560 --> 00:03:39,440
Speaker 1: believe me, I would never cheat all my wife. Never.

55
00:03:39,600 --> 00:03:42,200
Speaker 1: But can I just tell her that we slept together?

56
00:03:42,600 --> 00:03:45,760
Speaker 1: You and I what? Yeah, I just want to tell

57
00:03:45,760 --> 00:03:49,680
Speaker 1: her just to get her bare. I just want to

58
00:03:49,680 --> 00:03:51,440
Speaker 1: get her back from what she's been doing with the

59
00:03:51,560 --> 00:03:56,240
Speaker 1: long guy. I'm gonna be like, oh, definitely not doing

60
00:03:56,280 --> 00:03:58,920
Speaker 1: that at all. You don't have to actually do any

61
00:03:59,720 --> 00:04:02,320
Speaker 1: that we even brought that up. I definitely do not

62
00:04:02,360 --> 00:04:06,080
Speaker 1: want to be working for you. Is it because I'm fat. No,

63
00:04:06,120 --> 00:04:10,360
Speaker 1: I've never donuts you. I don't even I don't know

64
00:04:10,560 --> 00:04:13,160
Speaker 1: you at all, mister Profford. You're just calling me up

65
00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:19,240
Speaker 1: and Lauren. No, absolutely, absolutely no, Lauren. I'm just trying

66
00:04:19,240 --> 00:04:21,560
Speaker 1: to tell you that this is actually Jewil from Brook

67
00:04:21,600 --> 00:04:23,560
Speaker 1: and Jewel in the morning. I'm moving ninety two point

68
00:04:23,600 --> 00:04:31,080
Speaker 1: five doing a phone tap on you. What. Yeah, your

69
00:04:31,120 --> 00:04:32,880
Speaker 1: best friend Beth and he told us all about the

70
00:04:32,960 --> 00:04:35,800
Speaker 1: nanny position you're applying for. She said you're really goldbal

71
00:04:36,680 --> 00:04:38,479
Speaker 1: and thought it would be a great idea to phone

72
00:04:38,480 --> 00:04:44,000
Speaker 1: tap you. No, but hey, listen, Oh my god, can

73
00:04:44,040 --> 00:04:49,440
Speaker 1: I still tell everybody that we slept together week up

74
00:04:49,520 --> 00:04:52,280
Speaker 1: every morning with Jewel phone taps weekday mornings on the

75
00:04:52,360 --> 00:04:58,040
Speaker 1: twenties now six mo