WEBVTT - Checking In w/ Tamron Hall 0:00:00.120 --> 0:00:03.000 Welcome to Checking In with Michelle Williams, a production of 0:00:03.040 --> 0:00:20.119 iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. The more you get to 0:00:20.239 --> 0:00:27.120 know someone, the more you appreciate their journey, the more 0:00:27.160 --> 0:00:33.080 you appreciate their resilience, the more you appreciate the standards 0:00:33.120 --> 0:00:36.360 that they have through the work that they do as well, 0:00:37.240 --> 0:00:40.839 and then tie that in with being a wife and 0:00:40.920 --> 0:00:44.960 a mother. I'm just really excited about today's guest. 0:00:45.960 --> 0:00:46.640 Stay tuned. 0:00:49.360 --> 0:00:53.040 Hey, everybody, what an amazing way to check in today. 0:00:53.159 --> 0:00:58.680 I've got somebody totally special, someone that so many people 0:00:58.760 --> 0:01:03.040 look up to, especially She's from Texas to Chicago to 0:01:03.240 --> 0:01:06.240 New York. She's the Emmy Award winning host of one 0:01:06.240 --> 0:01:10.040 of the highest rated talk shows, a seasoned journalist, author, 0:01:10.560 --> 0:01:15.520 mom and wife. Please welcome Tameron Hall to Checking In. 0:01:16.240 --> 0:01:19.039 Hey, it's so good to check in with you, Michelle. 0:01:19.360 --> 0:01:21.200 So good to see you and hear you and all 0:01:21.240 --> 0:01:24.800 of those wonderful things, and congratulations on this podcast and 0:01:24.840 --> 0:01:27.160 just everything you've done in this space of mental health 0:01:27.240 --> 0:01:30.880 and conversation. It's really beautiful to watch you shine. 0:01:31.160 --> 0:01:37.480 Thank you, Tameran, tamfam, are y'all in the building, Yes, yes, 0:01:37.640 --> 0:01:40.880 Oh MG, we are just so excited I was telling 0:01:41.040 --> 0:01:43.160 someone that works with you by the name of Taylor. 0:01:43.560 --> 0:01:46.080 When I was living in Chicago and the Chicago area, 0:01:47.240 --> 0:01:49.720 Nicole Maingroom used to do my hair. She is Oprah's 0:01:49.760 --> 0:01:54.120 hairstylist now for the past years, and I went very 0:01:54.160 --> 0:01:58.240 short about two years, and I used to tell Nicole. 0:01:57.920 --> 0:02:04.760 Give me God like I remember the very first time 0:02:04.800 --> 0:02:09.000 that I interviewed you in Chicago, I was in local news. 0:02:09.360 --> 0:02:13.840 You just joined Destiny Child, and everyone was so excited 0:02:13.880 --> 0:02:17.680 that this Illinois, beautiful bright light was coming on board. 0:02:17.720 --> 0:02:19.680 And I remember sitting in my local news and then 0:02:20.560 --> 0:02:22.680 right when I started with the Today Show, me and 0:02:22.720 --> 0:02:25.440 my mom were in sackt with Avenue doing some shoe 0:02:25.480 --> 0:02:27.760 shopping and I looked over and there you were, this 0:02:27.800 --> 0:02:30.920 beautiful light, and you were so kind to come over 0:02:31.440 --> 0:02:33.400 to say hello. I mean, here you are at the 0:02:33.480 --> 0:02:36.280 height of your fame and everyone's trying to get your attention, 0:02:36.400 --> 0:02:39.079 and that you stopped to say hello to my mom 0:02:39.160 --> 0:02:42.800 while reaching for a blue blutan behind her was absolutely 0:02:42.960 --> 0:02:46.240 so thoughtful and wonderful. So you've just been in that part. 0:02:48.440 --> 0:02:53.240 I would have dreams of my business management of bills 0:02:54.400 --> 0:02:57.040 that y'all and we don't have a lot of time 0:02:57.080 --> 0:03:00.519 with Tameran. But that shoe department at Sex it's like 0:03:00.880 --> 0:03:04.360 its own zip code. It is absolutely insane. So you 0:03:04.520 --> 0:03:08.440 caught me in one of my favorite places. Okay, but 0:03:08.680 --> 0:03:11.560 we are we are really delighted to have you here. 0:03:11.760 --> 0:03:15.440 We're excited because you've got a new book, Watch Where 0:03:15.520 --> 0:03:20.920 They Hide. Your first was so so, so successful. It 0:03:21.000 --> 0:03:26.440 is a crime series. And just tell us because your 0:03:26.520 --> 0:03:30.799 background is in journalism, but it seems that it's been 0:03:30.880 --> 0:03:34.720 like your niche has been in the area. My major 0:03:34.760 --> 0:03:37.160 was criminal justice, so I'm just going to say criminal law, 0:03:37.240 --> 0:03:38.520 criminal justice. 0:03:39.040 --> 0:03:40.240 So tell us that journey. 0:03:40.280 --> 0:03:42.840 Okay, Well, for this all makes sense then, because listen. 0:03:43.000 --> 0:03:47.240 Jordan Manning is a character inspired by my years as 0:03:47.240 --> 0:03:50.000 a reporter in Chicago. Watch Where They Hide, which is 0:03:50.040 --> 0:03:52.840 my new novel as well as the first as the Wicked. 0:03:52.920 --> 0:03:56.880 Watch all set in Chicago, in and around the Chicago 0:03:56.960 --> 0:03:59.840 area and over the pandemic. I, like so many people, 0:04:00.120 --> 0:04:02.640 trying to figure out what you want next. Right, life 0:04:02.680 --> 0:04:05.120 came into a different perspective, and I'd always wanted to 0:04:05.120 --> 0:04:07.600 write a novel. I grew up reading Nancy drew in 0:04:07.760 --> 0:04:11.040 crime novels and also being a crime reporter. I showed 0:04:11.080 --> 0:04:14.840 Deadline Crime. I went for six seasons. Someone they knew 0:04:15.520 --> 0:04:18.280 a stow that I recently did. So I've always been 0:04:18.360 --> 0:04:21.839 quite fascinated, of course, as a journalist, but the deeper 0:04:22.000 --> 0:04:24.880 part of crime that I wanted to reveal with Jordan 0:04:25.000 --> 0:04:27.960 Manning was what is it like to cover those stories. 0:04:28.200 --> 0:04:31.919 We know the stories, but from a reporter standpoint. The 0:04:31.960 --> 0:04:34.280 first book was inspired by a case out of Chicago, 0:04:34.400 --> 0:04:36.680 Ryan Harris, this little girl who was killed on the 0:04:36.760 --> 0:04:40.080 South Side of Chicago. And I remember that night, Michelle 0:04:40.200 --> 0:04:43.720 going home after standing just a few yards from where 0:04:43.760 --> 0:04:47.440 she was found and just sobbing and being so just 0:04:47.520 --> 0:04:49.599 torn up inside. You know, here I am on TV. 0:04:49.760 --> 0:04:52.600 I'm supposed to present myself as this reporter with your 0:04:52.640 --> 0:04:55.560 microphone and the crime tape is behind you, and then 0:04:55.560 --> 0:04:57.719 I'm supposed to go home and forget that this little 0:04:57.720 --> 0:05:00.040 girl wasn't going to go home to her mother. You 0:05:00.080 --> 0:05:02.440 would never celebrate a prom, she would never be able 0:05:02.440 --> 0:05:04.719 to get married or go to college, any of the 0:05:04.800 --> 0:05:06.800 dreams that you and I have been able to pursue. 0:05:07.120 --> 0:05:11.200 And so with Jordan Manning, I wanted to show through 0:05:11.279 --> 0:05:13.800 my experience and also what I've witnessed what is it 0:05:14.120 --> 0:05:16.800 like to be a crime reporter? But also what is 0:05:16.839 --> 0:05:19.320 it like to be a woman climbing the ladder where 0:05:19.320 --> 0:05:23.920 people believe you're putting work before love. And she's got 0:05:23.920 --> 0:05:25.800 this great friend circle. So it's a little bit of 0:05:25.839 --> 0:05:28.280 sex in the city. It's a little bit of you know, 0:05:29.120 --> 0:05:32.200 life that I live. But also I wanted it to 0:05:32.240 --> 0:05:34.520 be a juicy thriller that you know, whether you're on 0:05:34.640 --> 0:05:37.320 vacation or you know, you just need some time to 0:05:37.400 --> 0:05:39.039 relax and you don't want to be on social media 0:05:39.080 --> 0:05:41.880 and you just want to read something good. It's got escapism, 0:05:41.920 --> 0:05:44.640 but it's also got heart, like what is what is 0:05:44.680 --> 0:05:47.480 fueling Jordan Manning? And I have to tell you as 0:05:47.480 --> 0:05:49.719 I'm sitting here talking to you, we've been able to 0:05:49.760 --> 0:05:52.520 option it and we're looking at turning it into a series. 0:05:52.560 --> 0:05:54.599 And now that I know you have criminal justice background, 0:05:54.680 --> 0:05:57.039 you need to be Jordan Manning because you are like 0:05:57.080 --> 0:06:00.520 your faith everything. If somebody I'm going to put it 0:06:00.520 --> 0:06:03.800 out here in the universe, we're casting Michelle as Jordan 0:06:03.960 --> 0:06:08.680 Manning in the series because you would be perfect. She changed. 0:06:09.360 --> 0:06:13.039 She's got a background in forensics and decided to pursue 0:06:13.040 --> 0:06:17.040 this journalism career, and now she's using what she learned 0:06:18.080 --> 0:06:22.240 in her studies with what she's learned in real time 0:06:22.560 --> 0:06:25.960 as a journalist to solve the stories that she's supposed 0:06:26.000 --> 0:06:29.200 to be covering. But now she's turned investigator to find 0:06:29.200 --> 0:06:31.800 out in the end why this crime happened and who 0:06:31.800 --> 0:06:32.000 did it. 0:06:32.800 --> 0:06:37.599 Wow, Okay, y'all, I'm so excited. Major new criminal justice. 0:06:37.800 --> 0:06:39.719 Forensics is what I wanted to go to to be 0:06:39.760 --> 0:06:43.680 a forensic psychologist because I like I like to get 0:06:43.720 --> 0:06:46.560 into the mind and pull the lakers, try to get 0:06:46.560 --> 0:06:51.000 to the root of behaviors and responses and all of that, 0:06:51.120 --> 0:06:55.279 which I've used that skill in relationships. So ladies, gentlemen, 0:06:55.320 --> 0:06:57.320 if you need me to find out anything, call me child, 0:06:57.320 --> 0:06:59.599 I'll get to the root of it. A shell. 0:07:00.040 --> 0:07:02.039 It is Jordan Manning. You heard it here. 0:07:03.600 --> 0:07:05.280 I am so excited. 0:07:05.440 --> 0:07:07.760 But I'm so glad that you were talking about how 0:07:07.920 --> 0:07:12.800 it kind of almost well, it doesn't totally mirror or parallel. 0:07:12.200 --> 0:07:13.760 Your entire life. 0:07:14.240 --> 0:07:16.360 But that is so good because you can take the 0:07:16.440 --> 0:07:18.240 route as well of you can know, you can do 0:07:18.280 --> 0:07:22.840 the biography, the autobiography. But then but the word escapism 0:07:23.600 --> 0:07:25.640 is so huge of what I've learned to me and 0:07:25.680 --> 0:07:29.640 an author like people like your real life story, but 0:07:29.680 --> 0:07:33.160 they also like the escapism part. I can be in 0:07:33.200 --> 0:07:35.120 the airport. I'm going to have this book because I'm 0:07:35.120 --> 0:07:36.880 going to go to the beach and I'm going to 0:07:37.040 --> 0:07:41.080 read this book. We are so excited, excited. 0:07:41.120 --> 0:07:43.320 That's what I wanted. I want to you know, like 0:07:43.320 --> 0:07:46.160 I said, I use some of the inspiration of For example, 0:07:46.400 --> 0:07:49.640 you know, in this book The Newest One Watcher They Hide, 0:07:49.720 --> 0:07:53.040 Jordan is approached by the sister of a woman who 0:07:53.160 --> 0:07:57.120 is missing, and the sister is begging for media attention 0:07:57.200 --> 0:08:00.480 and begging Jordan to help her find out what happened 0:08:00.480 --> 0:08:03.280 to her sister. I've been very open about the death 0:08:03.280 --> 0:08:06.800 of my own sister and an unsolved crime, so it 0:08:06.880 --> 0:08:10.600 does touch a little bit on my real life. But 0:08:11.200 --> 0:08:14.760 with Jordan, I am able to create a world and 0:08:14.800 --> 0:08:16.960 a character who can do things I never could. I mean, 0:08:17.000 --> 0:08:21.520 there's scenes where Jordan, the crime, the disappearance happens in Indiana, 0:08:21.760 --> 0:08:25.320 and there's Jordan getting in her car, driving to Indiana 0:08:25.400 --> 0:08:27.360 to get to the business to find out, and then 0:08:27.440 --> 0:08:29.320 driving back to try to make it to a date 0:08:29.640 --> 0:08:32.040 with a guy that's been interested in her for a while, 0:08:32.400 --> 0:08:35.600 but believes that all she thinks about is work and 0:08:35.679 --> 0:08:39.120 that her whole focus is work. So you see this 0:08:39.280 --> 0:08:42.760 character inspired by me but experiencing I think something very 0:08:42.800 --> 0:08:46.040 relatable in many ways that all of us are going 0:08:46.120 --> 0:08:48.320 to solve crime, Like Michelle can whip out her little 0:08:49.440 --> 0:08:51.760 Sherlock home a magnifying glass. 0:08:51.920 --> 0:08:54.199 I will, I sure will. 0:08:54.559 --> 0:08:57.640 But we I think many of us understand that work 0:08:57.760 --> 0:09:00.200 life imbalance, because I don't call it balance. There no 0:09:00.240 --> 0:09:04.000 such thing, you know, the work life imbalance, the struggle 0:09:04.120 --> 0:09:07.000 to find identity. She's in her thirties and it's like, 0:09:07.040 --> 0:09:09.120 what is this all for? What do I really want 0:09:09.160 --> 0:09:12.440 to do? So while she is solving these crimes, we 0:09:12.480 --> 0:09:16.800 see this richly layered character that really is a combination 0:09:16.920 --> 0:09:19.600 of many people that I've experienced and things that I've seen. 0:09:19.640 --> 0:09:23.439 So it's juicy and it's you know, it's betrayal, it's infidelity, 0:09:23.440 --> 0:09:25.040 it's all those things that going to have you like 0:09:25.080 --> 0:09:28.040 look inside eye at your next date. But it's good. 0:09:28.160 --> 0:09:28.880 It's good stuff. 0:09:29.040 --> 0:09:32.520 Listen not only side I at your next date. But Tamraon, 0:09:32.720 --> 0:09:35.439 have you ever had people maybe do the page turner, 0:09:35.840 --> 0:09:38.360 you know, with your book and they're wondering, Okay, now 0:09:38.880 --> 0:09:39.360 is this. 0:09:39.400 --> 0:09:42.599 Real life you? Oh? Yeah, of course, of course, you know. 0:09:42.679 --> 0:09:44.760 I have to tell you In fact, when I wrote 0:09:44.760 --> 0:09:47.640 the first one, I was in bed with my husband 0:09:47.679 --> 0:09:50.120 and night and I'm writing and I burst out. He 0:09:50.160 --> 0:09:52.920 was actually fall asleep and I'm writing and I started laughing, 0:09:52.960 --> 0:09:55.160 and he's like, what are you laughing about it? I said, oh, 0:09:55.200 --> 0:09:58.880 I'm writing this scene with Jordan and she's on this 0:09:59.000 --> 0:10:01.400 day and he is writing about your exes. I was like, 0:10:03.480 --> 0:10:06.920 I was like, well, uh, what I. 0:10:07.240 --> 0:10:11.160 Like, Noney, I'm writing about how you make me laugh? 0:10:11.720 --> 0:10:14.400 Is Jordan's She just needs someone in her life like 0:10:14.480 --> 0:10:15.480 you to make her laugh. 0:10:15.760 --> 0:10:19.400 Right. People have tried to figure out some of the 0:10:19.520 --> 0:10:22.840 names are similar, uh, And I've already started, you know, 0:10:23.000 --> 0:10:25.640 writing the third book, and there's a character named Nelson, 0:10:25.679 --> 0:10:27.960 and some people have you know, made some speculations about that. 0:10:28.000 --> 0:10:30.319 But we are like, you know, there's there's a lot. 0:10:30.160 --> 0:10:35.040 Of fun in creating as you know, characters and creating 0:10:35.080 --> 0:10:38.640 a world and touching on things with Jordan's you know, 0:10:38.800 --> 0:10:41.600 I tell people covering crime for all those years, I 0:10:41.640 --> 0:10:43.960 didn't realize the level of and I don't use this 0:10:44.040 --> 0:10:46.000 loosely this level of PTSD that I. 0:10:46.000 --> 0:10:49.480 Experienced because you know, when I was pregnant. Even I 0:10:49.520 --> 0:10:52.920 remember sitting and writing and reading this h crime that 0:10:52.960 --> 0:10:55.400 I was covering, and the woman had been murdered and 0:10:55.480 --> 0:10:57.280 she was pregnant, and I was like, oh my god, 0:10:57.320 --> 0:10:58.960 I can't do this for a living. This is not 0:10:59.000 --> 0:11:02.240 what I can do. And when I was creating Jordan, 0:11:02.679 --> 0:11:06.679 I was able to really face some of those things 0:11:06.840 --> 0:11:10.920 as a crime journalist or a you know, true crime 0:11:11.080 --> 0:11:15.319 reporter that people don't know exists in that world. And 0:11:15.400 --> 0:11:18.360 so it was it was cathartic. It was a relief, 0:11:18.400 --> 0:11:21.960 but it was also and I use this word very 0:11:22.000 --> 0:11:24.320 carefully because it is about crime, but it was it 0:11:24.360 --> 0:11:28.600 was exhilarating. I'm over fifty, I'm fifty three years old, 0:11:29.120 --> 0:11:31.679 and to be able to step out and do something 0:11:31.840 --> 0:11:35.680 new that you don't think you can do. That also 0:11:35.720 --> 0:11:37.720 became a bit of the story. Right It's like, i 0:11:37.760 --> 0:11:40.080 have this book, and now I have this series, and 0:11:40.120 --> 0:11:42.400 even though I've got the talk show and things that 0:11:42.440 --> 0:11:44.920 I've worked on in the past, as you said, people 0:11:44.960 --> 0:11:47.760 approach people and wanting a memoir. They wanted a beauty book, 0:11:48.000 --> 0:11:49.839 and that's not where my head was at that time, 0:11:50.360 --> 0:11:54.480 I really wanted to take on this new challenge and say, 0:11:54.520 --> 0:11:56.080 you know, can I do it? Let me do it? 0:11:56.400 --> 0:11:59.800 And I talk about that because I want the tanfam, 0:12:00.080 --> 0:12:03.800 whomever it is, to always feel inspiration to step out there, 0:12:03.920 --> 0:12:07.200 do things that no one's expecting, things that might make 0:12:07.280 --> 0:12:08.319 you feel uncomfortable. 0:12:08.360 --> 0:12:11.240 Even wow, because I definitely was gonna ask if you 0:12:11.400 --> 0:12:14.960 had advice for aspiring writers, but you just you just 0:12:15.000 --> 0:12:17.199 gave it to us, like try. 0:12:16.920 --> 0:12:19.800 Something new to trypt We would. 0:12:19.520 --> 0:12:22.640 Still love a memoir, We would still love the beauty book, 0:12:23.160 --> 0:12:25.720 and how like and then this has nothing to do 0:12:25.800 --> 0:12:27.680 with the book, but as far as the beauty book 0:12:27.760 --> 0:12:32.200 is concerned, you have literally coined for especially for journalists 0:12:32.240 --> 0:12:34.880 and women of color. Now I get to say it, 0:12:35.000 --> 0:12:39.600 she don't, but everybody got the Tamil haircut. That is 0:12:39.679 --> 0:12:42.440 a black journalist, and that's great. 0:12:43.559 --> 0:12:45.400 So we definitely want to you know. 0:12:45.480 --> 0:12:47.840 And then it's like, okay, wait a minute, has she 0:12:47.880 --> 0:12:49.720 ever thought can she go along? But there's like no, 0:12:49.840 --> 0:12:53.400 that's part of her brand, you know, and I do. 0:12:53.480 --> 0:12:55.240 I wanted to like because you know, it's so funny. 0:12:55.520 --> 0:12:57.440 Even now I'm working on a little bit of a 0:12:57.480 --> 0:13:00.160 memoir that you know, was down the line. But I 0:13:00.240 --> 0:13:03.240 talk about when I first cut my hair, so crazy, Michelle. 0:13:03.320 --> 0:13:05.640 I was in Chicago and Johnny Wright, who you know, 0:13:05.720 --> 0:13:08.920 my hair solace since he was eighteen. Johnny and I 0:13:08.920 --> 0:13:10.960 met Chicago and I cut my hair. And when I 0:13:11.000 --> 0:13:12.959 was in Chicago, people everyone's like, oh, the hair is 0:13:12.960 --> 0:13:14.640 so fly, I want the haircut. I wanted the haircut. 0:13:14.640 --> 0:13:18.080 I came to National News and I remember being an 0:13:18.200 --> 0:13:20.840 MSNBC in the beginning of my career, and people started 0:13:20.960 --> 0:13:23.320 this was right. They were like, why do you have 0:13:23.400 --> 0:13:27.760 short hair? And you know, is she this? Is she 0:13:27.880 --> 0:13:30.960 that looking? And that I remember reading someone saying women 0:13:31.040 --> 0:13:33.080 with short hair are lazy because that's a lazy haircut. 0:13:33.080 --> 0:13:35.600 Oh no, I read it all. And I a pretty 0:13:35.600 --> 0:13:38.560 confident person. So imagine the stark contrast. I leave Chicago 0:13:38.640 --> 0:13:40.600 where people are like, can I get the tamer Hall haircut? 0:13:40.600 --> 0:13:44.760 And beating down Johnny Store to the National press and 0:13:44.800 --> 0:13:47.400 some of the people in national articles questioning, you know, 0:13:47.520 --> 0:13:50.600 short hair aesthetic, and I started to grow my hair out. 0:13:50.640 --> 0:13:52.480 I'm not kidding when I was so insecure and I 0:13:52.480 --> 0:13:54.080 started to cry. And then one day I looked on 0:13:54.120 --> 0:13:55.800 air and I had a full mushroom and I was like, 0:13:55.800 --> 0:13:57.480 oh no, no, no, no, We're not going out like that. 0:13:57.920 --> 0:14:00.240 And I called Johnny he was with Michelle Obama at 0:14:00.280 --> 0:14:01.920 the time, because the only time we've never had a 0:14:01.960 --> 0:14:04.280 break was when he was worth the first lady. I 0:14:04.320 --> 0:14:05.720 called Johnny. I was like, if you don't get on 0:14:05.760 --> 0:14:07.480 that to sell a train and get here and cut 0:14:07.520 --> 0:14:09.959 my hair right now, because I cannot go out like that. 0:14:10.000 --> 0:14:12.320 But you go through those moments. But yeah, it's crazy, 0:14:12.320 --> 0:14:14.240 and that's part of what I'll talk about in my 0:14:14.679 --> 0:14:18.240 memoir one day, is that that betting on yourself and 0:14:18.240 --> 0:14:21.280 not letting people rock your boat, you know, finding for 0:14:21.440 --> 0:14:22.120 who you are. 0:14:26.960 --> 0:14:30.680 The Tameron Hall Show has been renewed, you know. And 0:14:30.720 --> 0:14:34.280 then you're an author, wife and mom. People ask all 0:14:34.360 --> 0:14:37.120 the time, where are you finding the time? And to 0:14:37.280 --> 0:14:43.280 seemingly do things so seamlessly and with excellence, nothing seems 0:14:43.320 --> 0:14:47.640 to miss a oh so great. 0:14:47.400 --> 0:14:50.520 You know what it is? It's first of all for me, 0:14:50.320 --> 0:14:56.800 I'm a virgo. So anybody know that I'm like I 0:14:56.880 --> 0:15:00.120 overthink everything, all right. My poor phone is like I 0:15:00.200 --> 0:15:03.440 littered with notes. I'm always taking notes. I try my best, 0:15:03.520 --> 0:15:06.000 like keep it with the wardrobe, whether it's my personal 0:15:06.040 --> 0:15:08.400 wardrobe or here on the set. I tell people that 0:15:08.400 --> 0:15:10.800 the whole week of wardrobe is picked out in advance, 0:15:10.800 --> 0:15:12.520 because that's one less thing I have to think about. 0:15:12.720 --> 0:15:14.360 And I learned that from my dad, who was in 0:15:14.360 --> 0:15:17.080 the military. He was like, pick it out, but Biggie, say, 0:15:17.080 --> 0:15:19.320 I'm Gucci down to the socks. I pick out everything 0:15:19.400 --> 0:15:23.120 down to the sphinx, and I'm all laid out for 0:15:23.400 --> 0:15:25.640 that week. I don't I could have a white suit 0:15:25.640 --> 0:15:27.280 picked out and it could rain mud, and I'm not 0:15:27.400 --> 0:15:30.920 changing that suit because that's one less thing I have 0:15:31.000 --> 0:15:33.480 to think about. Think about how many times you're getting 0:15:33.520 --> 0:15:35.240 ready to go somewhere and you're like, oh, that shirts 0:15:35.240 --> 0:15:36.880 dirty and wait a minute, where does that shoot? And 0:15:36.920 --> 0:15:40.640 before you know it, it's taking your time, taking your mind, 0:15:40.720 --> 0:15:44.160 and now you're late. You arrived frazzle and you're not present. 0:15:44.400 --> 0:15:47.520 So the decisions that I can make in advance, I do. 0:15:47.600 --> 0:15:49.840 I PI line out my son's lunch. The whole week 0:15:49.880 --> 0:15:53.200 of lunch is all in advance. Is breakfast all. We 0:15:53.240 --> 0:15:55.720 write it all down. And some might think that that's 0:15:56.040 --> 0:15:59.120 a very strident way to live, but it allows for 0:15:59.200 --> 0:16:02.600 me to be creative. It allows for me to be 0:16:02.680 --> 0:16:05.000 prepared for the unknown variable. I tell my husband all 0:16:05.040 --> 0:16:08.160 the time. We were on vacation recently and he was 0:16:08.200 --> 0:16:10.640 all going through in his mind about something, and I said, 0:16:10.800 --> 0:16:13.480 you better enjoy this moment because listen, as my friend 0:16:13.480 --> 0:16:15.960 Bevy Smith says, life be life, and it's gonna come. 0:16:16.280 --> 0:16:19.160 You don't have to look for it. The unknown variable 0:16:19.200 --> 0:16:22.720 that's going to screw up your whole time is coming. 0:16:22.800 --> 0:16:25.480 We were the Huntel we were in Italy once and 0:16:25.760 --> 0:16:28.440 his great vacation. We're on the plane and oh my gosh, 0:16:28.640 --> 0:16:30.520 you're all in our fields and we land and I'll 0:16:30.560 --> 0:16:33.080 never forget the phones started buzzing as soon as I 0:16:33.160 --> 0:16:36.400 landed our house to flood it, and I'm like, what 0:16:37.080 --> 0:16:39.880 But had I not taken that respite, and had I 0:16:40.080 --> 0:16:43.240 not you know, said I need to decompress, and I 0:16:43.280 --> 0:16:46.080 would have been on ten, landed and gone to one 0:16:46.200 --> 0:16:48.800 hundred and been crying. But I was just kind of 0:16:48.840 --> 0:16:50.960 in this relaxed state because I had taken a moment 0:16:51.000 --> 0:16:54.040 to appreciate that time with him, that time with my son, 0:16:54.600 --> 0:16:57.400 that the rewards of the hard work right being able 0:16:57.400 --> 0:16:59.560 to be in Italy. So when I landed, don't get 0:16:59.600 --> 0:17:04.159 me wrong, was highly upset, but I'd taken that breathing 0:17:04.240 --> 0:17:08.240 moment because that unknown variable of that challenge in our home, 0:17:08.359 --> 0:17:10.679 it was waiting for me. I didn't know it, but 0:17:10.760 --> 0:17:12.399 it was waiting for me. You so you have to 0:17:12.440 --> 0:17:14.640 take care of yourself when you can, and that allows 0:17:14.720 --> 0:17:18.199 me to find room to create like I did, you 0:17:18.240 --> 0:17:21.800 know the book? Or be present with my child who 0:17:21.840 --> 0:17:25.200 was looking to me as his guide. I am his life. 0:17:25.240 --> 0:17:27.160 I'm his guide, and I want to be the best 0:17:27.200 --> 0:17:27.919 guide I can be. 0:17:28.520 --> 0:17:30.000 Well you are, y'all. 0:17:30.080 --> 0:17:33.240 The son that she speaks so beautifully about is his 0:17:33.359 --> 0:17:35.119 name is Moses. 0:17:35.080 --> 0:17:37.240 Four years old? Now is he four. 0:17:37.119 --> 0:17:40.920 Years or he'll be five in April? And he is 0:17:41.119 --> 0:17:45.159 oh a whole vibe. He's a Taurus and he is 0:17:45.880 --> 0:17:49.320 I live with a baby bull. But he's very, very fun. 0:17:49.440 --> 0:17:52.080 You know. I never imagine being a parent. I remember 0:17:52.080 --> 0:17:54.040 when I'm on the cover of People magazine, it's like 0:17:54.119 --> 0:17:57.160 Tammernhall forty eight year old miracle baby, And I was like, wait, 0:17:57.160 --> 0:17:59.280 first of all, I'm forty eight. How that happened? And 0:17:59.320 --> 0:18:02.800 then are I didn't because when you're in the throes 0:18:02.840 --> 0:18:05.880 of it, you don't fully understand or you're not conscious, 0:18:05.880 --> 0:18:07.840 I think of the enormity of it. And then I 0:18:07.880 --> 0:18:11.280 started hearing from other women who had gone through IVF struggles, 0:18:11.320 --> 0:18:14.480 and some were able to conceive and others were not. 0:18:14.640 --> 0:18:18.480 But they thanked me for being open about this late 0:18:18.560 --> 0:18:21.080 in life journey that I'm now on. But no, he's 0:18:21.119 --> 0:18:24.359 a whole firecracker. He's a company, he's a comedy. I 0:18:24.400 --> 0:18:26.280 don't know what he is. Somebody said, what do you think. 0:18:26.400 --> 0:18:29.480 I think it's gonna be comedian because all he wants 0:18:29.520 --> 0:18:31.480 to do is be silly and make people laugh. He's 0:18:31.480 --> 0:18:32.000 so sweet. 0:18:32.880 --> 0:18:35.480 Oh well, he's gonna have to make his first stand 0:18:35.520 --> 0:18:37.439 up comedy appearance on your show. 0:18:38.600 --> 0:18:40.920 You know, you have been. 0:18:40.880 --> 0:18:45.320 So open about things personally, even talking about your iv 0:18:45.440 --> 0:18:47.360 OF journey. I'll be forty five this year. 0:18:47.400 --> 0:18:48.200 I have yet. 0:18:48.000 --> 0:18:51.280 To have children, and it's been in the back of 0:18:51.280 --> 0:18:54.520 my mind because you could be so career oriented or 0:18:54.560 --> 0:18:58.639 then when you are then being in a relationship, I'm like, 0:18:58.960 --> 0:19:02.439 wait a minute, do I want this? And then us, 0:19:02.480 --> 0:19:06.040 you know, producing this show that you are my guest on, 0:19:06.480 --> 0:19:08.520 you know, and you sharing you gave birth at the 0:19:08.640 --> 0:19:11.080 age of forty eight, But you're like, I even know, 0:19:11.240 --> 0:19:12.280 I don't feel forty eight. 0:19:12.400 --> 0:19:14.879 I don't feel fifty three, you know, And it's like, 0:19:15.880 --> 0:19:20.000 what do people like to be fifty three? 0:19:20.680 --> 0:19:25.159 Yeah, you're more like twenty three energy wise, and just 0:19:25.760 --> 0:19:27.080 let me not say energy wise. 0:19:27.600 --> 0:19:29.760 Well, yes, energy wise because. 0:19:29.560 --> 0:19:32.639 In order to move with the capacity, in order to 0:19:32.680 --> 0:19:36.640 move at the capacity in which you do, you've got 0:19:36.680 --> 0:19:40.240 to feel young. But for people to maybe feel like 0:19:40.280 --> 0:19:44.480 they're discouraged to get married or have children, I feel. 0:19:44.200 --> 0:19:48.400 Like when you get older, you feel better. I do, I. 0:19:48.480 --> 0:19:51.199 Do, you know. Listen, there are two versions of this, 0:19:51.320 --> 0:19:54.160 right of course, there are versions of that. I will 0:19:54.160 --> 0:19:55.960 be very very honest with you in a way that 0:19:56.000 --> 0:19:58.960 I have not been honest with anybody. There are times 0:19:58.960 --> 0:20:02.440 where I say, damn, you know, was I supposed to 0:20:02.480 --> 0:20:05.760 be at twenty seven, twenty five? You know? And I 0:20:06.400 --> 0:20:08.560 wasn't trying at twenty five or twenty seven. It wasn't 0:20:08.600 --> 0:20:10.560 even front of mine. I was dating, I had a 0:20:10.600 --> 0:20:12.560 couple of boyfriends probably you know, and a lot of 0:20:12.560 --> 0:20:16.000 things going on, but I didn't. And then when I 0:20:16.040 --> 0:20:19.000 tried in my thirties, ran into complications. I was in 0:20:19.000 --> 0:20:21.400 a serious relationship and ran into some complications, and then 0:20:21.520 --> 0:20:23.760 that relationship ended in that the thought of it ended. 0:20:23.800 --> 0:20:27.960 In my mind. I wasn't a person who would say 0:20:28.040 --> 0:20:29.800 like I was like, oh gosh, I have to have 0:20:29.840 --> 0:20:32.440 a kid. I knew I wanted. I probably, if I'm 0:20:32.480 --> 0:20:34.919 being honest as well, I probably assumed that it was 0:20:34.920 --> 0:20:36.600 just a part of my life. I assumed that I 0:20:36.600 --> 0:20:38.240 was going to get married one day and have a kid. 0:20:38.280 --> 0:20:41.399 It wasn't I've never I never looked in wedding books 0:20:41.400 --> 0:20:44.120