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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Stephen Ferdick.

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Speaker 2: I'm the pastor of Elevation Church and this is our podcast.

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Speaker 2: I wanted to thank you for joining us today.

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Speaker 1: Hope this inspires you. Hope it builds your faith.

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Speaker 2: Hope it gives your perspective to see God has moving

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Speaker 2: in your life.

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Speaker 1: Enjoy the message. My message title is forgiving what you

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Speaker 1: can't forget. And I know the minute that I say forgiveness,

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Speaker 1: a lot of you are like, oh, please, not this today.

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Speaker 1: You don't know what I've been through this week, because

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Speaker 1: a minute I say forgiveness, you start to feel like

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Speaker 1: I'm going to attach this to the hardest thing that's

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Speaker 1: ever happened to me. And I am not in the

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Speaker 1: mood right. I understand that. That's why I'm going to

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Speaker 1: preach this message with great tenderness. Let's go to the Lord. Lord.

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Speaker 1: Thank you so much that you came and you died

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Speaker 1: for us so that we might have life and be

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Speaker 1: set free. Jesus, you are so well acquainted with the

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Speaker 1: hurts and the heaviness of what we walk through as humans.

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Speaker 1: You loved us so much, and Hebrews that you tell

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Speaker 1: us that you came to be a merciful and faithful

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Speaker 1: High Priest. And how true that is because you know

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Speaker 1: the grit and the grime and the gruesome heartbreak that

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Speaker 1: can happen when we are hurt, betrayed, overlooked, devalued, lied about,

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Speaker 1: cheated on. Lord. You know, right before you went to

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Speaker 1: the cross, Lord, you gave us these amazing words to

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Speaker 1: give us an insight into how much you understand. When

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Speaker 1: you cry out from the garden of Kosemite, my soul

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Speaker 1: is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. And then, Lord,

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Speaker 1: you prayed the same prayer I prayed so many times.

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Speaker 1: Everything is possible for you, God, take this cup from me.

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Speaker 1: But then, in your great mercy, because you are a

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Speaker 1: God of freedom, you reminded us at the end of

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Speaker 1: that prayer these nine glorious, health shaking, demon quaking, earth

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Speaker 1: shattering words. Yet not what I will, but what you will. God, Lord,

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Speaker 1: help us to trade our will for thy will, because

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Speaker 1: we are so confident you will. And all God's people said, amen,

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Speaker 1: you can have a seat. So my journey with forgiveness.

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Speaker 1: You know, it's kind of ironic that I'm preaching a

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Speaker 1: sermon today on forgiveness when this very week I have

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Speaker 1: struggled to forgive something hard that has happened. You know,

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Speaker 1: I feel like sometimes life is like whack a mole.

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Speaker 1: Did y'all ever play whack a mole? It's like, we

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Speaker 1: get one thing taken care of, and it's like kind

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Speaker 1: of calmed down, but then three more pop up, and

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Speaker 1: then those three you work as hard as you can

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Speaker 1: to get those to calm down, and then two more

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Speaker 1: pop up over here and one over here, and it

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Speaker 1: just feels like we're never going to get to the

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Speaker 1: place where life can be tied up in a neat,

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Speaker 1: nice bow and where things just all line up, the

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Speaker 1: birds sing, the sun shines, and you think, ain't nobody

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Speaker 1: hurt my feelings today? Wouldn't that be amazing? Right? So Yeah,

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Speaker 1: preaching a message on forgiveness in a very week that

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Speaker 1: I've struggled with being hurt. It's a tough thing. But

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Speaker 1: as I was praying about it, I thought, Lord, thank

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Speaker 1: you for bringing this hurt so fresh, so I can

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Speaker 1: preach this message with the deep tenderness that a message

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Speaker 1: on forgiveness deserves. You See, sometimes when we hear that

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Speaker 1: word forgiveness, like I said, we will attach it to

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Speaker 1: the hardest things that we have ever walked through, and

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Speaker 1: we will feel like some of us like forgiveness is

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Speaker 1: such an unfair gift that we now have to give

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Speaker 1: to the person who hurt us the most. Have you

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Speaker 1: ever felt that way about forgiveness? You see, I have

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Speaker 1: an attitude toward forgiveness. As a matter of fact, when

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Speaker 1: I set out to write my book Forgiving What you

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Speaker 1: Can't Forget, I did over a thousand hours with a

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Speaker 1: theologian studying in the Bible exactly what God's word says

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Speaker 1: about forgiveness. That is a lot of hours. But before

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Speaker 1: you get all impressed, I want you to know about

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Speaker 1: seven hundred and fifty of those hours I was looking

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Speaker 1: for the loophole. Surely, God does not mean we are

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Speaker 1: to forgive everyone, right, surely, But what I discovered is

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Speaker 1: that forgiveness is an absolute command by God. Forgiveness is

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Speaker 1: an absolute command by God. But here's the comfort. Reconciliation

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Speaker 1: is not a command that you always have to reconcile.

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Speaker 1: God would not put us in a position where we

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Speaker 1: have to stay close enough to someone who has used us,

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Speaker 1: abused us, and let that person keep doing it over

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Speaker 1: and over and over. Forgiveness is not their ticket to

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Speaker 1: keep hurting us. Absolutely not. So. While forgiveness is a

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Speaker 1: command by God, reconciliation is very conditional, and I think

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Speaker 1: we're going to see that as the message goes on.

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Speaker 1: Why did I even start studying forgiveness with an attitude

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Speaker 1: because I walked through some really hard stuff. A lot

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Speaker 1: of you know my story. You know it's inconvenient to

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Speaker 1: be a private person who lives a very public life,

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Speaker 1: and so when hard things happen, everybody knows about it.

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Speaker 1: And even if I chose not to tell the story,

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Speaker 1: the media would get a hold of it and they

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Speaker 1: would tell the story for me. So, for those of

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Speaker 1: you who don't know what my family and I have

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Speaker 1: walked through the past ten years, our family changed into

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Speaker 1: something that I never thought it would be. I was

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Speaker 1: married almost twenty nine years, and my marriage ended in

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Speaker 1: an incredibly devastating way. I was heartbroken. I felt so

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Speaker 1: incredibly betrayed, and though I fought and begged God to

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Speaker 1: save my marriage for years and years and years, I

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Speaker 1: would forgive, and then things would fall apart. I would forgive,

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Speaker 1: and then things would fall apart. I would forgive, and

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Speaker 1: then things would fall apart. And in the end, I

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Speaker 1: walked through the devastation of an unwanted divorce. It was hard,

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Speaker 1: it was awful, and it was something I never thought

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Speaker 1: my family would face. But I'm not unique with that story.

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Speaker 1: So many of you have a very similar story to me.

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Speaker 1: And you came to church this week and you were

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Speaker 1: just hoping that I would preach a message about how

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Speaker 1: bad people really are, you know, and then you walk

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Speaker 1: in here and you're like, dang, she's preaching on forgiveness. Great,

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Speaker 1: you know, But I just want you to know I

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Speaker 1: understand the hurt. And maybe your story is nothing like mine,

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Speaker 1: but here's what I know to be true about all

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Speaker 1: of us. We've either just been through so hurt, we're

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Speaker 1: in the middle of some hurt, or we're about to

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Speaker 1: go through some hurt. And you go, wow, that's not

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Speaker 1: very positive. No, I'm positive we've either been through some hurt,

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Speaker 1: we in some hurt, We've had to go through some hurt, right,

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Speaker 1: And so I think this is a message for all

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Speaker 1: of us. In the middle of one of the hardest

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Speaker 1: parts of my journey, I was in one of those

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Speaker 1: places where it was hard to get out of bed,

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Speaker 1: and I remember I had scheduled a counseling appointment, and

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Speaker 1: I drove up to the counselor's office and I remember

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Speaker 1: looking in the riover mirror and thinking, how long has

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Speaker 1: it actually been since I washed my hair. Now, you

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Speaker 1: with short hair, you will not understand this. But for

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Speaker 1: those of you with hair that's more complicated like my hair,

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Speaker 1: you know, the top knot is God's gift to us, right,

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Speaker 1: because you can just have dirty hair whip it up

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Speaker 1: into a top knot. And so as I looked at

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Speaker 1: my reflection, I thought to myself, I look awful. And

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Speaker 1: then I was walking into the counselor's office and I

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Speaker 1: had a second thought, I can't remember if I put

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Speaker 1: on deodorant today or not. And I thought, you know,

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Speaker 1: I can deal with dirty hair, but I'm not walking

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Speaker 1: in my counseling a point of stinking. And so I

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Speaker 1: went to the bathroom and I thought, I am a

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Speaker 1: resourceful girl, and so I opened up the bottom cabinet

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Speaker 1: and there was no deodorant in there, but there was

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Speaker 1: peach air freshener, and I thought that'll do, and so

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Speaker 1: I applied the peach air freshener to me, and I

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Speaker 1: walked into that counseling session, and I smelled like a

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Speaker 1: freshly baked peach cobbler. I really did. The counselor looked

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Speaker 1: at me. His name is Jim. Jim has been such

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Speaker 1: an incredible gift to me and my family, and so

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Speaker 1: I looked at Jim, and Jim looked at me and

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Speaker 1: he said, catch me up. How are you doing? And

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Speaker 1: I said not well at all. I said, I'm hurting

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Speaker 1: so bad. I just don't want to get out of

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Speaker 1: bed some days. And he said, huh, well, today is

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Speaker 1: a good day then for us to start working on forgiveness.

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Speaker 1: And I looked back at him and I said, are

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Speaker 1: you high, Mike? Truly? Like I just said, I am hurting,

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Speaker 1: and now you say we have to work on forgiveness. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm not going to do that today. And he said, okay, okay,

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Speaker 1: why don't we start with your pain? And he handed

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Speaker 1: me a big stack of three by five cards and

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Speaker 1: I said, great, very well acquainted with my pain, I

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Speaker 1: will definitely be able to participate in this activity. And

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Speaker 1: so he handed me this stack of three by five

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Speaker 1: cards and he told me to write one thing on

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Speaker 1: each card of something that had been done that had

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Speaker 1: hurt me, something that had been said to me that

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Speaker 1: had hurt me. Just write down all the facts of

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Speaker 1: the trauma that you've experienced. And so I did. I

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Speaker 1: wrote card after card after card after card, and then

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Speaker 1: he told me to lay out the cards on the

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Speaker 1: floor of his office, and I did that, and before

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Speaker 1: too long, the entire office floor was full of those cards.

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Speaker 1: And as I turned and placed the last card and

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Speaker 1: I looked at all of that pain, I thought to myself,

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Speaker 1: no wonder, I feel so heavy inside. No wonder, I

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Speaker 1: don't want to get out of bed because look at

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Speaker 1: all I have been carrying. And so I looked up

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Speaker 1: at Jim, and Jim did the best thing that anybody

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Speaker 1: could do in a situation like that. He looked back

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Speaker 1: at me and he said, I believe you. What's been

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Speaker 1: done to you is terrible. It should have never happened.

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Speaker 1: And if no other human ever dares to say these words,

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Speaker 1: I'll say them to you. I am so sorry. I'm

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Speaker 1: so sorry. And in that moment, something in me softened,

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Speaker 1: and I realized I have been waiting all this time

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Speaker 1: for the person who hurt me to give me that gift,

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Speaker 1: to acknowledge how badly they've hurt me, to say that

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Speaker 1: they were sorry, to do some kind of repentance and

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Speaker 1: to promise they would never ever do it again. But

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Speaker 1: if I continue to wait for that person who hurt

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Speaker 1: me to say they're sorry before I can heal and

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Speaker 1: move forward, then I am allowing that person to hurt

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Speaker 1: me twice, because that's a choice they may never ever

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Speaker 1: make right. And I realized in that moment, I didn't

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Speaker 1: really need that person to say that they were sorry.

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Speaker 1: What I needed was for another human to bear witness

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Speaker 1: to the pain of what I'd walk through. And so

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Speaker 1: I want to do that for you today. Before we

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Speaker 1: even get into the scriptures and the message, I want

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Speaker 1: to say to you, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry that they said what they said. I'm sorry

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Speaker 1: that they didn't say what they should have said. I'm

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Speaker 1: sorry that they hurt you. I'm sorry that they stole

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Speaker 1: from you. I'm sorry that they belittled you. I'm sorry

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Speaker 1: that they abused you. I'm so sorry for what you've

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Speaker 1: gone through. But friend, you deserve to stop suffering because

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Speaker 1: of what another person has done to you. Right, deserve

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Speaker 1: to stop suffering because of what another person has done

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Speaker 1: to you. Forgiveness It's my choice. It's your choice. We

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Speaker 1: can take a stake and drive it in the ground today,

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Speaker 1: on this very day, and say I refuse to keep

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Speaker 1: suffering because of what they did to me. Forgiveness is

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Speaker 1: my choice, and I choose to receive this provision from

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Speaker 1: God to help my human heart heal. That's what forgiveness

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Speaker 1: really is. Now here's the other thing about forgiveness that

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Speaker 1: can seem very very complicated forgiveness. It can seem if

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Speaker 1: we forgive that person, then that's us saying that what

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Speaker 1: they did is now okay, and it's not okay. So

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Speaker 1: that's not what forgiveness means. Forgiveness can seem like, well, okay,

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Speaker 1: if I participate and I forgive, does that mean that

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Speaker 1: I can't ever process this Again, That's not what forgiveness means.

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Speaker 1: You can keep processing, you can keep healing. And also,

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Speaker 1: for a long time, I felt like a forgiveness failure

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Speaker 1: because I would say that I forgave that person, and

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Speaker 1: then a minute down the road or a week later,

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Speaker 1: all of a sudden, I would get triggered in my pain.

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Speaker 1: Do you know what a trigger is? Yes? Is so complicated, right,

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Speaker 1: don't you wish we could time triggers like Tuesday night

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Speaker 1: would be a good time for a trigger to hit,

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Speaker 1: and so let's schedule it. I'll be in the bathtub,

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Speaker 1: I'll be taking communion and I'll be listening to praise songs, right,

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Speaker 1: and then a trigger can hit me and I will

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Speaker 1: just cry it all out in the privacy of my

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Speaker 1: own bathtub. Right. But that's not how triggers happen. Triggers

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Speaker 1: just happen in the middle of our every day. And

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Speaker 1: have you ever been hit with a trigger. You've already

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Speaker 1: forgiven that person, but then a trigger hits and the

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Speaker 1: pain feels so fresh, and you think to yourself, I'm

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Speaker 1: bitter still. I must be a forgiveness failure. You're not

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Speaker 1: a frigid giveness failure. Every trauma is two parts. It's

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Speaker 1: fact an impact. Therefore, forgiveness can be two parts as well.

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Speaker 1: We can forgive for the facts of what happened, and

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Speaker 1: that satisfies the command of God to forgive. At the

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Speaker 1: same time, we can also walk through the healing process

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Speaker 1: of healing from the impact and forgiving for the impact.

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Speaker 1: What that person did to us. It cost us something.

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Speaker 1: That's the impact, and that is going to take time.

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Speaker 1: I used to think that triggers were such a curse,

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Speaker 1: But now I see it as God's mercy, because if

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Speaker 1: the full impact would have hit me at once, it

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Speaker 1: probably would have killed me. So how good of God

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Speaker 1: to let the impact leak into my life over time.

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Speaker 1: As I'm healing, I've already forgiven for the fact. But

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Speaker 1: then when an impact hits me, when a trigger hits me,

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Speaker 1: and I realize an impact is nothing more than an indication.

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Speaker 1: There's a little more healing needed right here. There's a

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Speaker 1: little more forgiveness needed right here. So I had all

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Speaker 1: those cards laid out on Jim's office floor, and then

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Speaker 1: he handed me a stack of red felt squares and

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Speaker 1: he looked at me and he said, Lisa, I think

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Speaker 1: you should just go card by card by card, and

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Speaker 1: you should make the choice to forgive. And I said,

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Speaker 1: that's great, except my mouth will say it, and my

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Speaker 1: feelings haven't signed up for it yet. So what do

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Speaker 1: I do about that?

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Speaker 2: Right?

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Speaker 1: And he said, why don't you say this? Out of

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Speaker 1: obedience to God, I am choosing to forgive this person

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Speaker 1: for the fact of what they did to me. And

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Speaker 1: then take a piece of redfelt and lay it on

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Speaker 1: top of that card. And then say, and whatever my

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Speaker 1: feelings will not yet allow, for the blood of Jesus

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Speaker 1: will surely cover it. Right, So I went card by

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Speaker 1: card by card and said, I forgive this person for

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Speaker 1: this fact of how they've hurt me, and whatever my

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Speaker 1: feelings will not yet allow, for covered it with a

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Speaker 1: red card. The blood of Jesus will surely cover it.

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Speaker 1: And when I was done and I looked back, I

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Speaker 1: didn't have all that pain staring back at me. I

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Speaker 1: saw the beautiful work of Jesus Christ. Jesus died so

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Speaker 1: that we could receive God's forgiveness. And as we receive

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Speaker 1: God's forgiveness, we simply must cooperate with his forgiveness as

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Speaker 1: his forgiveness flows to us, because we are not perfect,

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Speaker 1: and we have also sinned and fallen short. But that

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Speaker 1: doesn't justify what they did at all. And maybe we

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Speaker 1: didn't participate in in in that situation where they hurt us,

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Speaker 1: but maybe we've been carrying some bitterness. And so as

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Speaker 1: we receive God's forgiveness as it flows to us, we

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Speaker 1: must cooperate with it and then let us flow through

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Speaker 1: us to other people. We don't have to originate forgiveness.

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Speaker 1: I used to feel like I would just have to

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Speaker 1: grit my teeth like I forgive you and conjure up

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Speaker 1: some forgiveness from mimy. That's not forgiveness. Forgiveness originates from God,

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Speaker 1: flows to us, flows through us, and it goes to

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Speaker 1: other people. So what does God's word say about forgiveness?

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Speaker 1: I want to start with Matthew chapter six, verses nine

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Speaker 1: through thirteen. I find it pretty amazing that when Jesus

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Speaker 1: was asked how should we pray, think about all the

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Speaker 1: things that could be taught in that moment of how

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Speaker 1: you can pray. This is Jesus and the people are

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Speaker 1: asking him how do we pray? So if I was

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Speaker 1: put in charge of saying the ultimate Lord's prayer, I

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Speaker 1: probably would never have thought that forgiveness should be such

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Speaker 1: a big part of it. And yet Jesus knows the

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Speaker 1: human heart so well. He answers the people, this is then,

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Speaker 1: how you should pray our Father in heaven, how it

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Speaker 1: would be your name, your kingdom, Come, Your will be

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Speaker 1: done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us

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Speaker 1: today our daily bread, and forgive us our debts, as

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Speaker 1: we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not

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Speaker 1: into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one. And

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Speaker 1: then he goes on in verse fourteen and as another

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Speaker 1: little section, for if you forgive other people when they

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Speaker 1: sin against you, your heavenly father will also forgive you.

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Speaker 1: But if you do not forgive others their sins, your

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Speaker 1: father will not forgive your sins. Isn't it incredible that

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Speaker 1: of all those words that we just study, that's in

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Speaker 1: the prayer that Jesus taught us to pray, that forgiveness

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Speaker 1: is one of the main subjects in that prayer. And

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Speaker 1: this is supposed to be a daily prayer. In other words,

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Speaker 1: each day when we wake up, we should pray something

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Speaker 1: similar to this. We should pray our Father in heaven,

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Speaker 1: how would be your name, your kingdom? Con Your will

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Speaker 1: be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give

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Speaker 1: us today our daily bread, that daily provision. That's how

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Speaker 1: I know this is a daily prayer. And then make

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Speaker 1: forgiveness part of that prayer. How incredible would it be

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Speaker 1: if we laid in our beds before our feet ever

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Speaker 1: hit the floor, and we wake up and the day

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Speaker 1: is fresh, and there's new opportunities, and we decided one

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Speaker 1: of the main things we're going to do before we

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Speaker 1: get out of bed, is that we are already going

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Speaker 1: to pre forgive the fools that hurt us that day. Right,

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Speaker 1: wouldn't that be so amazing? It would be so amazing.

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Speaker 1: You know where I got this idea years ago? Pastor

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Speaker 1: Steven preached a message on a fence, and he brought

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Speaker 1: up a fence up here was anybody else here? It

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Speaker 1: was so amazing, right, And so I started doing this,

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Speaker 1: And how great is it that as I walk into

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Speaker 1: my day, inevitably it's like I'll be happy, happy, happy,

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Speaker 1: and then somebody bumps into my happy And it used

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Speaker 1: to be that they would hijack my day because of

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Speaker 1: their foolish situation whatever they were doing to me, right,

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Speaker 1: But now I'm like, oh, you do, you boo? You

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Speaker 1: get all stirred up right here in the coffee line

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Speaker 1: because they frapaid your latte and waylaid your whole day. Okay,

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Speaker 1: I got it right. I mean, if that's the worst

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Speaker 1: thing that happened to me today, I would still have

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Speaker 1: a pretty good day. But you do, you boo, because

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Speaker 1: you know what, You're the person I brak for this morning,

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Speaker 1: and I have already preforgiven you and Just because you

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Speaker 1: laid down on a fence does not mean I'm going

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Speaker 1: to pick it up, carry it with me, and let

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Speaker 1: it ruin my whole day. Right. It is incredible what

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Speaker 1: can happen when we make forgiveness part of our everyday routine, eating, sleeping, breathing, loving, forgiving.

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Speaker 1: But there's one other thing I want to point out.

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Speaker 1: In this section of the Lord's Prayer. Right after we're

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Speaker 1: instructed to forgive, it says, and lead us not into temptation,

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Speaker 1: but deliver us from the evil one. There is a

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Speaker 1: pattern throughout scripture, and it is all throughout scripture wherever

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Speaker 1: there's unattended to anger, bitterness, resentment, desires for revenge. Right

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Speaker 1: near that passage, it's instructive. We are instructed to forgive,

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Speaker 1: and if we don't, the evil one comes close. It

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Speaker 1: is like drop dropping blood in a body of water

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Speaker 1: and it draws the sharks near. Let me show you

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Speaker 1: a couple of other passages where we see this very thing.

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Speaker 1: If we go all the way back to Genesis in

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Speaker 1: Genesis chapter four, verses two through seven. Now Abel kept

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Speaker 1: flocks and Cain worked the soil. Adam and Eve had

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Speaker 1: two children, Cain and Abel, Right, two brothers. Abel kept

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Speaker 1: the flocks and Cain worked the soil. In the course

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Speaker 1: of time, Cain brought some of the fruits of the

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Speaker 1: soil as an offering to the Lord, and Abel also

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Speaker 1: brought an offering fat portions from some of the firstborn

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Speaker 1: of his flocks. The Lord looked with favor on Abel

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Speaker 1: and his offering, but on Cain and his offering, he

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Speaker 1: did not look with favor. So Cain was very angry

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Speaker 1: and his face was downcast. Now some people, as we've

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Speaker 1: studied these scriptures, you know, some people really are concerned.

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Speaker 1: Why is it that the Lord favored Abel's offering and

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Speaker 1: not Cain's offering. Theologians have debated this, but I'm going

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Speaker 1: to give you what I personally see in the scripture.

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Speaker 1: Here it says that in the course of time, Cain

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Speaker 1: brought his offering, but Abel brought his first fruits, right

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Speaker 1: his first born. And so I don't know if that's

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Speaker 1: what it is, but I do know that whatever it was,

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Speaker 1: the Lord was not pleased with Cain, and Cain was

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Speaker 1: very angry and his face was downcast. Now, if you've

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Speaker 1: studied the Bible before, you know that Cain goes on

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Speaker 1: to murder his brother Abel. But there's something that happens

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Speaker 1: in between Cain being very angry and Cain murdering his brother.

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Speaker 1: The Lord himself comes and talks to Cain. What how

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Speaker 1: many times have I just prayed? Lord? I will not

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Speaker 1: tell anybody, but if you can just come right here

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Speaker 1: into my closet, let me see you and tell me

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Speaker 1: what to do. I will listen, right. And I know

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Speaker 1: that that's not going to happen, but if it did happen,

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Speaker 1: I would keep it a secret, just between me and you.

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Speaker 1: But look what happens here. Cain gets that. The Lord

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Speaker 1: comes to Cain and says, in verse six, why are

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Speaker 1: you angry? Why is your face downcast? If you do

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Speaker 1: what is right, will you not be accepted? But if

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Speaker 1: you do not do what is right, sin is crouching

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Speaker 1: at your door. It desires to have you, but you

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Speaker 1: must rule over it. Unattended to anger, and sin is

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Speaker 1: crouching out the door, right, and it says, sin is

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Speaker 1: crouching out your door, desires to have you, but you

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Speaker 1: must rule over it. Let's look at one other place

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Speaker 1: in scripture Ephesians, chapter four, starting in verse twenty six,

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Speaker 1: in your anger, do not sin do not let the

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Speaker 1: sun go down while you are still angry, and do

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Speaker 1: not give the devil a foothold. And then it goes

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Speaker 1: on in verse twenty nine to say, do not let

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Speaker 1: any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only

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Speaker 1: what is helpful for building others up according to their needs,

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Speaker 1: that it may benefit those who listen. And do not

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Speaker 1: greet the Holy Spirit with whom you recealed for the

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Speaker 1: day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger,

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Speaker 1: brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be

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Speaker 1: kind and compassionate to one another forgiving each other, just

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Speaker 1: as in Christ, God forgave you. We don't want to

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Speaker 1: reduce our life down to the limitations of living heard.

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Speaker 1: There is a big, beautiful world out there, full of

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Speaker 1: such possibilities that you do not want to miss. And

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Speaker 1: if we are so stuck on the hurt that has

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Speaker 1: been caused to us and we think about it over

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00:28:06,960 --> 00:28:10,879
Speaker 1: and over and over and over, that's just allowing that

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00:28:11,040 --> 00:28:16,000
Speaker 1: trauma to traumatize us over and over and over. When

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00:28:16,080 --> 00:28:20,359
Speaker 1: cruel things have been done to you, it is life altering,

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Speaker 1: but it does not have to be life ruining. Forgiveness

429
00:28:30,400 --> 00:28:36,040
Speaker 1: forgiveness is God's provision for us to heal. Forgiveness is

430
00:28:36,160 --> 00:28:41,200
Speaker 1: actually a gift from God. Now, if I were you

431
00:28:41,240 --> 00:28:43,600
Speaker 1: and I was sitting there and I was thinking, Okay,

432
00:28:43,800 --> 00:28:47,760
Speaker 1: that's nice, But what do I do when the person

433
00:28:47,760 --> 00:28:52,440
Speaker 1: who hurt me seems to get away with everything? What

434
00:28:52,520 --> 00:28:55,520
Speaker 1: do I do about that? Because honestly, as I take

435
00:28:55,560 --> 00:28:59,520
Speaker 1: an assessment in my heart, sometimes the very thing that

436
00:28:59,680 --> 00:29:06,920
Speaker 1: pull's bitterness back into my feelings is that it feels

437
00:29:07,120 --> 00:29:11,600
Speaker 1: like they're off living in happy, happy world and I'm

438
00:29:11,680 --> 00:29:14,720
Speaker 1: here dealing with all the pain and the fallout of

439
00:29:14,760 --> 00:29:18,000
Speaker 1: the decisions. Have you ever been there, Well, let me

440
00:29:18,040 --> 00:29:22,760
Speaker 1: read you what the scripture says Galatians six seven through eight.

441
00:29:22,880 --> 00:29:27,480
Speaker 1: Do not be deceived. God cannot be mocked. A man

442
00:29:27,960 --> 00:29:32,080
Speaker 1: reaps what he sows. Whoever sows to please their flesh

443
00:29:32,120 --> 00:29:35,400
Speaker 1: from the flesh will reap destruction. Whoever sows to please

444
00:29:35,440 --> 00:29:39,560
Speaker 1: the spirit from the spirit will reap eternal life. God

445
00:29:39,600 --> 00:29:43,800
Speaker 1: will not be mocked. There's a story of Esther, and

446
00:29:44,120 --> 00:29:47,920
Speaker 1: there's several characters in Esther, but there's this one character

447
00:29:48,720 --> 00:29:51,440
Speaker 1: that his name is Hayman, and he has bent on

448
00:29:51,560 --> 00:29:57,120
Speaker 1: destroying the Jewish people. Mordecai, Esther's uncle finds out about

449
00:29:57,160 --> 00:30:01,479
Speaker 1: Hayman's plans. Esther has access to the king, and so

450
00:30:01,840 --> 00:30:05,080
Speaker 1: through the course of time, Esther is able to reveal

451
00:30:05,480 --> 00:30:12,040
Speaker 1: Hayman's plot to the king. The very gallows that Hayman built.

452
00:30:12,560 --> 00:30:14,840
Speaker 1: I want you to listen to what scriptures said. The

453
00:30:14,960 --> 00:30:17,920
Speaker 1: very gallows that Haman built to kill the Jewish people

454
00:30:18,280 --> 00:30:20,880
Speaker 1: are the very gallows that he was then hanged on.

455
00:30:21,840 --> 00:30:24,640
Speaker 1: Esther seventeen. So they hanged Hayman on the gallows that

456
00:30:24,680 --> 00:30:29,840
Speaker 1: he had prepared for Mordecai. Romans twelve nineteen through twenty one.

457
00:30:30,000 --> 00:30:33,120
Speaker 1: Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room

458
00:30:33,160 --> 00:30:36,000
Speaker 1: for God's wrath. For it is written it is mine

459
00:30:36,080 --> 00:30:40,320
Speaker 1: to avenge. I will repay, says the Lord. On the contrary,

460
00:30:41,000 --> 00:30:44,920
Speaker 1: if your enemy is hungry, feed him. If he is thirsty,

461
00:30:45,440 --> 00:30:48,840
Speaker 1: give him something to drink. In doing this, you will

462
00:30:48,880 --> 00:30:53,600
Speaker 1: heat burning coals on his head. Do not be overcome

463
00:30:53,800 --> 00:30:58,840
Speaker 1: by evil. Sin is crouching at your door, but you

464
00:30:58,920 --> 00:31:03,040
Speaker 1: must rule over You must rule over it. Do not

465
00:31:03,160 --> 00:31:06,280
Speaker 1: let it have you. Do not give the devil a

466
00:31:06,320 --> 00:31:10,040
Speaker 1: foothold in your anger. Do not sin, Do not give

467
00:31:10,080 --> 00:31:15,120
Speaker 1: the devil a foothold, Lord, deliver us from the evil one,

468
00:31:15,360 --> 00:31:18,080
Speaker 1: And forgiveness is such a powerful part of that. Do

469
00:31:18,200 --> 00:31:23,680
Speaker 1: not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

470
00:31:25,120 --> 00:31:28,520
Speaker 1: I think that the very vest the very best time

471
00:31:29,000 --> 00:31:35,080
Speaker 1: to forgive is before we're ever offended. But the next

472
00:31:35,120 --> 00:31:41,120
Speaker 1: best time to forgive is right now. You know. I

473
00:31:41,200 --> 00:31:46,120
Speaker 1: started doing these things as I was working on forgiveness

474
00:31:46,160 --> 00:31:50,880
Speaker 1: because I really had reduced my life down to the

475
00:31:50,920 --> 00:31:55,000
Speaker 1: limitations of living hurt. I really had done that. I

476
00:31:55,080 --> 00:31:58,600
Speaker 1: don't know if you can just check your heart and see,

477
00:31:58,800 --> 00:32:01,840
Speaker 1: are there places where I've limited myself because of the

478
00:32:01,920 --> 00:32:05,560
Speaker 1: hurt that I've endured? Right? And so I started doing

479
00:32:05,600 --> 00:32:11,000
Speaker 1: these things called rebellious acts of resilience. And what a

480
00:32:11,040 --> 00:32:14,960
Speaker 1: rebellious act of resilience? First of all, I love the

481
00:32:15,000 --> 00:32:17,960
Speaker 1: word rebellious because I'm such a rule follower that it

482
00:32:18,040 --> 00:32:21,240
Speaker 1: kind of feels good to say I'm doing something rebellious, honestly,

483
00:32:21,960 --> 00:32:25,000
Speaker 1: But what a rebellious act of forgiveness is is for

484
00:32:25,040 --> 00:32:28,080
Speaker 1: me to start listening to the I can'ts and I

485
00:32:28,200 --> 00:32:34,360
Speaker 1: don't in my vocabulary. So I had forgiven for the

486
00:32:34,440 --> 00:32:36,880
Speaker 1: hurt that it happened to me, but I was still

487
00:32:37,040 --> 00:32:40,520
Speaker 1: dealing with the impact very much. So I went on

488
00:32:40,560 --> 00:32:43,760
Speaker 1: a beach trip with some friends. And on this beach

489
00:32:43,800 --> 00:32:47,960
Speaker 1: trip we had a little house and the ice maker

490
00:32:48,080 --> 00:32:51,400
Speaker 1: wasn't working. Now I am very into ice, especially at

491
00:32:51,400 --> 00:32:54,560
Speaker 1: the beach. I like cold things, very very cold. I

492
00:32:54,600 --> 00:32:56,720
Speaker 1: have this thing about the beach. I like to pack

493
00:32:56,800 --> 00:32:59,200
Speaker 1: it cooler with ice in it. I like to put

494
00:32:59,280 --> 00:33:02,320
Speaker 1: my water and my Dike Cob. Don't send me a

495
00:33:02,320 --> 00:33:04,840
Speaker 1: message about that. I understand how that it is for me.

496
00:33:05,240 --> 00:33:07,320
Speaker 1: I understand that police use it to clean blood off

497
00:33:07,320 --> 00:33:09,920
Speaker 1: the road. I got the whole thing, okay. But I

498
00:33:10,040 --> 00:33:12,200
Speaker 1: like my water, and I like my Dike coke, my

499
00:33:12,240 --> 00:33:14,720
Speaker 1: little sandwich, and I put it in a cooler with

500
00:33:14,760 --> 00:33:16,600
Speaker 1: some ice, go down to the beach, and that is

501
00:33:16,640 --> 00:33:19,440
Speaker 1: my happy place. I just love it. The problem was

502
00:33:20,080 --> 00:33:23,760
Speaker 1: I quickly discovered the ice maker was broken, and I

503
00:33:23,920 --> 00:33:28,360
Speaker 1: had an out of portion reaction to the situation at hand.

504
00:33:29,120 --> 00:33:32,280
Speaker 1: I was like yet another thing he's taken from me.

505
00:33:32,720 --> 00:33:34,720
Speaker 1: You see, if he would have been faithful, then we

506
00:33:34,760 --> 00:33:36,640
Speaker 1: would still be married. And if we were so married,

507
00:33:36,680 --> 00:33:38,640
Speaker 1: he would be here and he would fix the ice maker.

508
00:33:38,640 --> 00:33:42,520
Speaker 1: But because he isn't here, I can't have ice, you know.

509
00:33:43,960 --> 00:33:47,120
Speaker 1: And I'm like, it's ice, Lisa, like it's ice, right,

510
00:33:47,840 --> 00:33:51,760
Speaker 1: But boy, did it flood me with I can't. I can't.

511
00:33:51,920 --> 00:33:55,880
Speaker 1: I can't. That's reducing your life down to the limitations

512
00:33:55,920 --> 00:34:01,080
Speaker 1: of living hurt. And so I stopped myself after being

513
00:34:01,240 --> 00:34:05,480
Speaker 1: very embarrassed at my overreaction, and I said, but what

514
00:34:05,520 --> 00:34:10,319
Speaker 1: if I could? What if I could? And so I

515
00:34:10,520 --> 00:34:14,239
Speaker 1: googled instructions how do you fix an ice maker? I

516
00:34:14,280 --> 00:34:18,080
Speaker 1: am terrible with written instructions. They were utterly unhelpful. But

517
00:34:18,200 --> 00:34:25,879
Speaker 1: then I remembered the YouTube, y'all, and so I YouTube directions,

518
00:34:25,960 --> 00:34:28,600
Speaker 1: how do you fix an ice maker? And I thought,

519
00:34:28,640 --> 00:34:30,360
Speaker 1: what's the worst that can happen? It's already broke? What

520
00:34:30,360 --> 00:34:33,560
Speaker 1: if I broke it more? Okay, you know? And I

521
00:34:33,640 --> 00:34:35,960
Speaker 1: tinkered with it, and I looked at the video and

522
00:34:36,000 --> 00:34:40,200
Speaker 1: I did what it said and I fixed that ice

523
00:34:40,280 --> 00:34:48,200
Speaker 1: mak God. And in that moment, it wasn't like I

524
00:34:48,280 --> 00:34:54,399
Speaker 1: epically healed, but I absolutely epically proved to myself I

525
00:34:54,440 --> 00:34:57,879
Speaker 1: still have a lot of life to live. I reduced,

526
00:34:58,160 --> 00:35:01,279
Speaker 1: I refused to reduce my life down to the limitations

527
00:35:01,320 --> 00:35:05,200
Speaker 1: of living hurt. And when that I fell into that bucket, y'all.

528
00:35:05,560 --> 00:35:08,480
Speaker 1: I did the EMC hammer dance around the kitchen, right.

529
00:35:09,160 --> 00:35:12,040
Speaker 1: It was glorious. So then my two friends who were

530
00:35:12,040 --> 00:35:15,640
Speaker 1: with me, they said, hey, Lisa, let's go down to

531
00:35:16,080 --> 00:35:19,239
Speaker 1: the ocean. And I thought, great, I've got my cooler now,

532
00:35:19,400 --> 00:35:22,720
Speaker 1: all prepared. So I get my book, I get my towel,

533
00:35:22,840 --> 00:35:25,319
Speaker 1: I get my chair and my little cooler and I'm

534
00:35:25,360 --> 00:35:27,919
Speaker 1: headed down to the ocean. And my friend Jess, who

535
00:35:28,000 --> 00:35:30,120
Speaker 1: was with me, she says, wait, wait, wait, wait wait,

536
00:35:30,440 --> 00:35:34,200
Speaker 1: I have a boogie board for you. And I said,

537
00:35:34,200 --> 00:35:36,160
Speaker 1: why do I need a boogy board because I'm gonna

538
00:35:36,160 --> 00:35:38,040
Speaker 1: sit in my chair and read my book. That does

539
00:35:38,120 --> 00:35:41,360
Speaker 1: not require a boogie board, right, And she said no, no, no, no,

540
00:35:41,360 --> 00:35:43,640
Speaker 1: We're going to play in the ocean. I said, oh,

541
00:35:43,760 --> 00:35:46,840
Speaker 1: I don't do oceans. There are sharks in there that

542
00:35:46,960 --> 00:35:50,320
Speaker 1: eat people every day. There's like shells that cut your feet,

543
00:35:50,400 --> 00:35:54,680
Speaker 1: jellyfish that sting. I don't do oceans. And we sat

544
00:35:54,760 --> 00:35:58,160
Speaker 1: down on the beach. She grabbed her boogie board. She

545
00:35:58,280 --> 00:36:01,040
Speaker 1: went and jumped into the water. But before she did that,

546
00:36:01,120 --> 00:36:02,920
Speaker 1: she laid my boogie board right in front of me

547
00:36:02,960 --> 00:36:06,080
Speaker 1: because she had carried it down for me, and I

548
00:36:06,120 --> 00:36:08,480
Speaker 1: was looking at her. I was looking at that boogie board,

549
00:36:09,040 --> 00:36:12,920
Speaker 1: and I saw her laughing and smiling, and I kept thinking,

550
00:36:12,920 --> 00:36:16,600
Speaker 1: I don't do oceans. But then I stopped myself again.

551
00:36:16,840 --> 00:36:19,120
Speaker 1: I'm not going to reduce my life down to the

552
00:36:19,160 --> 00:36:24,640
Speaker 1: limitations of living hurt. Therefore, what if I did? What

553
00:36:24,719 --> 00:36:28,640
Speaker 1: if I did? And before my overthinking brain could kick in,

554
00:36:29,000 --> 00:36:32,160
Speaker 1: I grabbed that boogie board. I went and I jumped

555
00:36:32,160 --> 00:36:36,840
Speaker 1: into the ocean. It was disastrous. The wave took me under.

556
00:36:37,280 --> 00:36:40,120
Speaker 1: My bathing suit bottoms came down. It was like a

557
00:36:40,200 --> 00:36:43,879
Speaker 1: whole situation, you know. I stood up. I did get

558
00:36:43,920 --> 00:36:47,920
Speaker 1: my bathing suit bottoms back on, just to clarify, and

559
00:36:49,040 --> 00:36:53,719
Speaker 1: then I laughed and I played, and for a few

560
00:36:53,760 --> 00:36:59,680
Speaker 1: minutes I wasn't a woman who was living in pain.

561
00:37:01,080 --> 00:37:04,399
Speaker 1: I was that same care free person that I had

562
00:37:04,440 --> 00:37:13,520
Speaker 1: been for so long. I can't I don't listen for

563
00:37:13,600 --> 00:37:19,280
Speaker 1: those types of words, because even after you've forgiven, sometimes

564
00:37:19,920 --> 00:37:23,640
Speaker 1: you stay stuck in this place where you just feel

565
00:37:23,680 --> 00:37:30,040
Speaker 1: like you can't move forward rebellious acts of resilience. You can,

566
00:37:30,840 --> 00:37:41,160
Speaker 1: and you will, and you should, and it is good right. Indeed,

567
00:37:41,600 --> 00:37:44,520
Speaker 1: the best time to forgive is before we're ever offended.

568
00:37:45,080 --> 00:37:49,240
Speaker 1: But the next best time is now, if you're physically able,

569
00:37:49,400 --> 00:37:51,920
Speaker 1: will you please stand. I have something that I've written

570
00:37:51,920 --> 00:37:57,759
Speaker 1: that I really want to share with you. This is

571
00:37:57,800 --> 00:38:03,640
Speaker 1: a declaration. And when I wrote this, it was a

572
00:38:03,680 --> 00:38:09,520
Speaker 1: message really to myself, because I remember waking up at

573
00:38:09,600 --> 00:38:13,680
Speaker 1: two am in the morning and just feeling the weight

574
00:38:13,840 --> 00:38:17,200
Speaker 1: of all that I was facing. Two am is such

575
00:38:17,280 --> 00:38:20,480
Speaker 1: a complicated hour, isn't it. It's like too late to

576
00:38:20,520 --> 00:38:23,200
Speaker 1: call your late friends, too early to call your early friends.

577
00:38:23,280 --> 00:38:28,400
Speaker 1: So it is just you, right, And so often I

578
00:38:28,440 --> 00:38:32,560
Speaker 1: would pray just the simplest prayers, like Jesus, I love

579
00:38:32,640 --> 00:38:36,120
Speaker 1: you and you love me, and that's all I've got.

580
00:38:37,520 --> 00:38:40,000
Speaker 1: And so to comfort myself, a lot of times I

581
00:38:40,000 --> 00:38:43,440
Speaker 1: would pull out my journal and I would write declarations.

582
00:38:44,120 --> 00:38:49,040
Speaker 1: So this declaration was something that I wrote for myself,

583
00:38:49,120 --> 00:38:51,239
Speaker 1: but I'm so grateful I get to share it with

584
00:38:51,280 --> 00:38:56,520
Speaker 1: you today. This is forgiveness, making the decision that the

585
00:38:56,520 --> 00:38:59,640
Speaker 1: ones who hurt you no longer get to limit you,

586
00:39:00,239 --> 00:39:04,160
Speaker 1: label you, or project the lies they believe about themselves

587
00:39:04,200 --> 00:39:09,920
Speaker 1: onto you. Somewhere along the way, they got hurt, really

588
00:39:10,360 --> 00:39:16,799
Speaker 1: really hurt. Maybe they really aren't necessarily bad people, but

589
00:39:17,000 --> 00:39:24,440
Speaker 1: chances are maybe they're unhealed people. But honestly, aren't we

590
00:39:24,600 --> 00:39:28,840
Speaker 1: all unhealed people? Do we ever really get to the

591
00:39:28,920 --> 00:39:31,560
Speaker 1: place where we're like, finally I figured it all out,

592
00:39:32,160 --> 00:39:34,360
Speaker 1: like I'm not going to do anything else or wrong. No,

593
00:39:34,440 --> 00:39:36,840
Speaker 1: we never get to that place. On this side of eternity.

594
00:39:37,040 --> 00:39:40,200
Speaker 1: We can grow, we can go to counseling, we can

595
00:39:40,239 --> 00:39:43,520
Speaker 1: study the Bible, we can allow God to have his

596
00:39:43,600 --> 00:39:48,480
Speaker 1: way with the sanctification process, all of that. But you see,

597
00:39:48,480 --> 00:39:50,920
Speaker 1: if if I look at people who have hurt me

598
00:39:52,800 --> 00:39:58,160
Speaker 1: and I just say to myself like they're such bad people,

599
00:39:58,800 --> 00:40:02,120
Speaker 1: then forgiveness will feel like a really unfair gift that

600
00:40:02,200 --> 00:40:04,600
Speaker 1: I have to give. But if I just change my

601
00:40:04,719 --> 00:40:10,640
Speaker 1: perspective and I say they're unhealed people, it helps. And

602
00:40:10,800 --> 00:40:13,440
Speaker 1: something happened to them along the way. I don't have

603
00:40:13,480 --> 00:40:15,880
Speaker 1: to know what it is. But if they're doing something

604
00:40:15,920 --> 00:40:18,120
Speaker 1: cruel to you, something cruel has been done to them,

605
00:40:18,680 --> 00:40:21,640
Speaker 1: it doesn't make it right, It doesn't justify it. It's

606
00:40:21,719 --> 00:40:25,520
Speaker 1: just a fact to consider. When people have a deep wound,

607
00:40:25,600 --> 00:40:29,120
Speaker 1: they feel they must protect the pain from that festering

608
00:40:29,160 --> 00:40:32,759
Speaker 1: place is often what they'll project. So you must make

609
00:40:32,800 --> 00:40:36,480
Speaker 1: the decision that their offense will not define you or

610
00:40:36,560 --> 00:40:40,880
Speaker 1: confine you by the smallness of bitterness. The sum total

611
00:40:40,920 --> 00:40:44,560
Speaker 1: of your one incredible life must not be reduced to

612
00:40:44,600 --> 00:40:49,520
Speaker 1: the limitations of living hurt. The completely delightful, beautiful, fun

613
00:40:49,600 --> 00:40:53,239
Speaker 1: and brilliant way God made you must not be tainted

614
00:40:53,600 --> 00:40:56,960
Speaker 1: by someone else who lost their way. You've got much

615
00:40:57,040 --> 00:40:59,960
Speaker 1: too much going for you to be stunted by anger

616
00:41:00,360 --> 00:41:03,840
Speaker 1: or haunted by resentment, or held back by fear. Grow

617
00:41:03,920 --> 00:41:10,880
Speaker 1: into God's grace by giving forgiveness kindly and receiving it freely.

618
00:41:11,280 --> 00:41:14,319
Speaker 1: Throw your arms up in victory and declare, I'm free

619
00:41:14,360 --> 00:41:18,560
Speaker 1: to forgive so that I can live. Do it once,

620
00:41:18,840 --> 00:41:22,080
Speaker 1: do it twice, do it seventy times seven. Make it

621
00:41:22,120 --> 00:41:26,200
Speaker 1: an undeniable fact that you are indeed bound one day

622
00:41:26,280 --> 00:41:29,759
Speaker 1: for heaven. This forgiveness message you dare to declare is

623
00:41:29,880 --> 00:41:35,080
Speaker 1: evidence of Jesus in you that not one soul can deny.

624
00:41:35,960 --> 00:41:38,719
Speaker 1: Sing it like an anthem that the one who was

625
00:41:38,840 --> 00:41:42,880
Speaker 1: crushed will not have their joy hushed. Scatter it like confetti,

626
00:41:42,960 --> 00:41:46,680
Speaker 1: coloring bland, surviving with the radiance of thriving. Release it

627
00:41:46,760 --> 00:41:51,920
Speaker 1: like the fantastic fragrance everyone loves and always wants more of. Now,

628
00:41:52,680 --> 00:41:55,680
Speaker 1: put your fingers on your pulse. Go ahead, you can

629
00:41:55,719 --> 00:42:01,600
Speaker 1: do it. Do you feel that it's your heart is beating, pumping,

630
00:42:02,160 --> 00:42:07,279
Speaker 1: willing you to press onward and upward your life, your

631
00:42:07,360 --> 00:42:11,000
Speaker 1: future is full of possibility, new joys that you do

632
00:42:11,040 --> 00:42:14,840
Speaker 1: not want to miss. So maybe it's time to get

633
00:42:14,880 --> 00:42:19,160
Speaker 1: carried away dancing to that song, you know, the one

634
00:42:19,440 --> 00:42:22,040
Speaker 1: where you can't stay down when its rhythm gets turned

635
00:42:22,080 --> 00:42:26,480
Speaker 1: all the way up. And if it's not a pray song,

636
00:42:27,440 --> 00:42:31,600
Speaker 1: if it's not a Jesus song, sing it to Jesus anyways, Right,

637
00:42:32,920 --> 00:42:36,680
Speaker 1: it's time to get moving and on with living. This,

638
00:42:37,000 --> 00:42:40,640
Speaker 1: my friends, is the power of forgiving.

639
00:42:45,719 --> 00:42:48,279
Speaker 2: Thank you for joining us special thanks to those of

640
00:42:48,280 --> 00:42:51,279
Speaker 2: you who give generously to this ministry. Is because of

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Speaker 2: you that this ministry is possible. You can click the

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Speaker 2: link in the description to give now, or visit Elevation

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00:42:57,719 --> 00:43:01,359
Speaker 2: Church dot org slash podcast for more information and if

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Speaker 2: you enjoyed the podcast.

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Speaker 1: You can subscribe.

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Speaker 2: You can share it with your friends. You can click

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Speaker 2: the share button, take a screenshot and share it on

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Speaker 2: your social stories and tag us at Elevation Church. Thanks

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Speaker 2: again for listening. God bless you