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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Annie and Samantha, and welcome to Stephman.

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Speaker 1: Never told you objection of iHeart Radio.

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Speaker 2: And welcome to another happy hour. I guess this is

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Speaker 2: my gin wine session for the end of the year.

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Speaker 2: Before we start. One disclaimer, No, two, maybe five, I

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Speaker 2: don't know. Several disclaimers. One, we are not necessarily being

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Speaker 2: sponsored by anything we talk about. We do have sponsors,

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Speaker 2: just not the ones we're saying out loud. That could change. Yes,

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Speaker 2: sponsorships happened throughout all of our career, and it changes

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Speaker 2: as the corporations change. One.

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Speaker 1: Two.

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Speaker 2: If you were drinking or doing anything, whether it's driving, whatever,

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Speaker 2: be responsible because we know we'd like to drive and

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Speaker 2: listen to podcasts which we love, and thank you for

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Speaker 2: listening and letting us be with you on your commute.

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Speaker 2: But just be responsible. Whatever you are doing, be cautious,

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Speaker 2: be aware of your surroundings, all the things, do it responsibly,

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Speaker 2: and take care of yourself. Yes, those are that Annie,

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Speaker 2: Are you drinking something today?

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Speaker 3: I am so.

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Speaker 1: My mom gave me I think I've said before, but

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Speaker 1: a lot, on a lot of special occasions, she gives

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Speaker 1: me a bottle of wine that she gets from our

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Speaker 1: hometown which actually makes wine near there. Oh yeah, And

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Speaker 1: she gave me this rose that I have been putting

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Speaker 1: off trying, not because I don't have a problem with rose,

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Speaker 1: but I was going to share it with people and

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Speaker 1: then it just never happened. But she was like, I

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Speaker 1: really need to know if you like that rose, which

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Speaker 1: I intervert to me, and she's wondering if she should

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Speaker 1: get it again. Yes, for a gift. So I am

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Speaker 1: trying it now, a rose. It's not as sweet as

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Speaker 1: I thought it was.

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Speaker 3: Going to be. I was a little worried it was

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Speaker 3: going to be too sweet for you.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, they've really classed up the rose.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, And like to be clear, I if you like

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Speaker 1: a sweet wine, I go for it. But it's just

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Speaker 1: like not normally my thing, which is why I was

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Speaker 1: going to try it with a group. Right, But this

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Speaker 1: is nice. It's not too sweet. It's pretty dry.

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Speaker 3: Right.

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Speaker 2: And when I say classied up, I'm saying that in

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Speaker 2: a very obviously facetious tone, because it is a very

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Speaker 2: sexist ideal that this drink, which is associated with women typically,

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Speaker 2: that this is not classy. It is. And there's this

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Speaker 2: whole level of conversation of like rose like champagnes or prosecco,

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Speaker 2: which is a whole artisanal thing, Like it is an artistry,

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Speaker 2: artistry to get this done because of the way they

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Speaker 2: had to like get it qualified. So I say that facetiously.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, you know.

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Speaker 2: But once upon a time people were like rose, what

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Speaker 2: that's just a blend of red and white? Mm hmm,

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Speaker 2: stop it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it is funny because I love a rose.

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Speaker 1: But even I was putting this off because it's like,

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Speaker 1: I don't know, I don't know, that's very nice.

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Speaker 3: I'll have to report back to my mom.

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Speaker 2: Yes, there's a levels like sweetness that is different that

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Speaker 2: people want the tannins like, I don't like nays that's

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Speaker 2: too like much for me. But yeah, that's definitely a

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Speaker 2: whole conversation. But I am doing my teenage thing where

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Speaker 2: I mixed my uh tangerine juice with the ginger mouse.

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Speaker 2: I actually did it with soju the other day and

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Speaker 2: that was lovely. I'm not doing that today because we

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Speaker 2: have too much to do and I can't be sleepy.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, we're at the end of the year, like recording

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Speaker 1: long days, so we're where that was.

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Speaker 2: But with that, this happy hour has been kind of

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Speaker 2: coming because we've talked about friends giving and friends gives

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Speaker 2: mus and just like going out in general. And I've

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Speaker 2: started making this announcement to people that I've found, I'm like, wow,

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Speaker 2: I'm taking this self deprecating thing to a whole new

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Speaker 2: level of like, please go ahead and excuse my awkwardness

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Speaker 2: because I'm trying to get it together. Was that level

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Speaker 2: to the point that my good friend of mine was like, girl,

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Speaker 2: I need you to get out more. She just outrights

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Speaker 2: them that to me, I was like, you know what,

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Speaker 2: you are correct, because I'm very confused about what's happening

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Speaker 2: in the world today. But yeah, so I'm having these

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Speaker 2: moments where you and I have talked about we did

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Speaker 2: not want to the holiday party because the previous ones

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Speaker 2: that we've been to have been so awkward that it

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Speaker 2: has put me into an anxiety spiral that I'm just like,

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Speaker 2: I just I can't do this. That can't because it

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Speaker 2: takes me out emotionally in a spiral for weeks, and

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Speaker 2: when it comes to the holidays, that is not a

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Speaker 2: good place because I could get stuck there and it

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Speaker 2: is to me, it is like a very big sign

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Speaker 2: for me when I have spiral that I have to

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Speaker 2: back away. I don't do anything Christmasy or holiday like

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Speaker 2: in general. You will not see trees in my house,

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Speaker 2: you will not see stockings. I've gotten presents, that's my

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Speaker 2: Favorit part is buying people's presence and then like hoping

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Speaker 2: I got imatchined a personality or that something that they're

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Speaker 2: going to be excited about that feels like a game

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Speaker 2: and I love that, but we haven't wrapped it yet.

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Speaker 2: We did finally go and buy wrapping paper, super cute

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Speaker 2: wrapping paper as well as but it can't be too christmasy.

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Speaker 2: It's like gold, blue and silver and white, like it's

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Speaker 2: not red, green or any of that. And then I

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Speaker 2: did buy some holiday cards, which was recute that we're

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Speaker 2: going to give to our service people with like little

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Speaker 2: gifts to say thank you. But all that to say

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Speaker 2: is like I try to avoid because when I try

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Speaker 2: too hard, it makes me sad, you know what I'm saying,

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Speaker 2: Because it just feels empty somehow, like there's something missing.

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Speaker 2: We've talked about this previously, like I do not love

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Speaker 2: the holidays, none of that, but that includes trying to

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Speaker 2: go out and celebrate the holidays. It just makes it difficult.

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Speaker 2: I feel like there's too much pressure, and I try

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Speaker 2: to just stay away from it. But I did go

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Speaker 2: to friends giftmus and it did go because partially a

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Speaker 2: it's been a while since I've seen a few friends

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Speaker 2: be the person who does it. We are not super

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Speaker 2: super close, but he invites me every year and I

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Speaker 2: don't go, and so I started thinking, like he's gonna

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Speaker 2: be offended by this eventually if I don't show up.

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Speaker 2: So I finally went, and he has a wonderful home.

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Speaker 2: It's a pretty giant townhouse, but it's still echoy and

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Speaker 2: pretty loud, and you know, most of gatherings like that,

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Speaker 2: you end up in the kitchen, crowded together and just

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Speaker 2: like zoning in all the food, which is great, which

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Speaker 2: is wonderful, which is one of my favorite things to

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Speaker 2: do as kid. I remember, and I was just graze

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Speaker 2: all the foods all the time, and it was one

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Speaker 2: of my favorite things to hang out at the table

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Speaker 2: talk with everybody while grabbing a piece of a roll

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Speaker 2: or something, just eating, not like mindlessly as you talk.

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Speaker 2: But because I was in a situation where I didn't

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Speaker 2: know everyone, or I hadn't seen everyone in a very

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Speaker 2: long time, I was already like freaking out. It was

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Speaker 2: really hot in the house as well, and I was

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Speaker 2: wearing a sweater, y'all. I was wearing a fuzzy sweater,

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Speaker 2: as I do, and so it just got very very

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Speaker 2: very very loud very quickly. I got very anxious, like

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Speaker 2: I felt like I was in the way constantly, and

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Speaker 2: I was literally like holding myself in trying to get

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Speaker 2: out of the way and making comments I'm awkward, I'm

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Speaker 2: so sorry, I'm standing here, I'm in your way like

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Speaker 2: that was the continuous conversation. Finally, and our dear host

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Speaker 2: was like, y'all can move. They're sitting in there, like

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Speaker 2: you're trying to let us know they're sitting everywhere. Please

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Speaker 2: go so you can have your conversations as it's great,

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Speaker 2: but you're also in my way as I'm prepping the

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Speaker 2: dinner table. Can you move? So we were trying to

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Speaker 2: get out there, and because part of me is a

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Speaker 2: nosy know it all, I'm like, hey, he said to move. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Of course no one really heard that because I said

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Speaker 2: I sound more commanding now than I did, and I

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Speaker 2: was like, hey, he wants us to move. Oh okay, okay,

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Speaker 2: cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool well, I'm

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Speaker 2: just gonna keep standing here. I finally did move and

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Speaker 2: a group of us. Caroline was there the past house

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Speaker 2: of the show, and we all moved, like there's a

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Speaker 2: few of us, and my small group went to the

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Speaker 2: dining room table and hung out and sat there. But

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Speaker 2: I had moments where people would want to talk. But

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Speaker 2: because I'm sitting and you're sitting at a dining room table,

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Speaker 2: people would come up behind you. So are not only

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Speaker 2: are you trying to have conversations with people sitting front

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Speaker 2: next and you know, beside you, but you're also turning

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Speaker 2: around trying to have this conversation with people you don't

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Speaker 2: know well, and you're trying to figure out what is

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Speaker 2: going on. And because I'm hearing all this other noise,

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Speaker 2: I'm darting. My head is darting, so I look really

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Speaker 2: especially rude. And I even do this on zoom. You

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Speaker 2: notice I will start like looking around everywhere else like

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Speaker 2: I look off here, look dawn looked at it because

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Speaker 2: I just I can't sit immediately still, which is like

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Speaker 2: what it is. But then when you have noise and

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Speaker 2: other activities, and then it starts sounding like echoes in

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Speaker 2: my head that it is overwhelming, So the entire time,

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Speaker 2: I'm trying to explain I'm so sorry. I'm apologizing because

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Speaker 2: I feel like I'm being rude, but I can't stop

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Speaker 2: doing what I'm doing because I'm in a place of

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Speaker 2: chaos to me, which is not chaos, is just people

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Speaker 2: having conversations, but because there's ten conversations, I feel like

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Speaker 2: it's chaos. So I'm just having this time of like,

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Speaker 2: oh my god, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. What'd

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Speaker 2: you say? What'd you say? What'd you like? Making jokes?

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Speaker 2: But this joke's being off because I didn't exactly understand

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Speaker 2: what they said to me, like so many of those things.

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Speaker 2: Finally we got up and went to a separate room,

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Speaker 2: which was so much quieter. I'm like, okay, I can

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Speaker 2: handle this. And I was with my immediate people that

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Speaker 2: I was fake comfortable with. But then we had people

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Speaker 2: I don't know as well, who I've known for years

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Speaker 2: but not well, you know, those acquaintances that comes around

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Speaker 2: in the circle who come down who are very I

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Speaker 2: am pretty intense, they're more intense, they're very highly intellectuals

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Speaker 2: type of things that like really think on a different level,

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Speaker 2: you know what I mean, And are very quick in conversation,

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Speaker 2: catches very quickly, but then moves on very quickly, very

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Speaker 2: intense gazing and like very intense conversationalists. But they're standing

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Speaker 2: behind you, so I'm like, what am I doing? And

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Speaker 2: unfortunately one of those people didn't realize my chair was

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Speaker 2: like a wiggly chair where it rocks and would hold

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Speaker 2: onto the back of my chair and rock me. So

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Speaker 2: the whole level of like, oh my god, oh my god,

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Speaker 2: oh my god, oh my god, I have to get out.

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Speaker 2: So I immediately like, okay, I'm gone, Like I abruptly

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Speaker 2: stand up and say, all right, well I'm done. That's

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Speaker 2: literally is the announcement I give to my close group

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Speaker 2: of friends who know me well enough to know, oh

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Speaker 2: she's had enough. This is to anybody else, it would

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Speaker 2: seem rude to them. It's just me right right. But

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Speaker 2: it was interesting because one of the conversations I did

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Speaker 2: have which I'm reacting like this, I'm like, I'm overstimulated.

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Speaker 2: I want to be at home with my partner and

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Speaker 2: my dog. I just want to sit. I wish someone

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Speaker 2: could just bring me this food and let me be,

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Speaker 2: because the food was quite delicious. But the person who

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Speaker 2: was hosting it. We had an interesting conversation that were

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Speaker 2: talking about how because they're such an extrovert, they have

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Speaker 2: recently started developing anxiety, partially because he's not getting enough interaction,

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Speaker 2: to the point that now when he does get that interaction,

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Speaker 2: he feels like he has to perform extra hard. And

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Speaker 2: I was like, as where I retreated into myself more,

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Speaker 2: which made me awkward. They are trying to remember because

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Speaker 2: they missed it so much, but because they missed it

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Speaker 2: so much, they're anxious about it to this level. And

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Speaker 2: it's interesting because I was pulled up as an article

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Speaker 2: from the Washington Post about returning after the pandemic and

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Speaker 2: awkward socialism, Like is it just because of pandemic? Am

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Speaker 2: I worse because of that? Or is it because the

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Speaker 2: time gap? It just didn't show me how awkward I

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Speaker 2: was to begin with, Like it showed me clearly as

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Speaker 2: well before I didn't notice it as much because it

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Speaker 2: just always has been. But it says loneliness is another

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Speaker 2: emotion that's ballooned during the pandemic, and the lonelier you are,

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Speaker 2: the likelier you are to be socially anxious. And apparently

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Speaker 2: this was an expert we talking about it that since

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Speaker 2: this person and her Instagram followers if they felt their

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Speaker 2: social skills had deteriorated during the pandemic, about eighty percent

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Speaker 2: of her followers said yes, so I feel much better. However,

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Speaker 2: even if you perceive yourself as awkward, there's a good

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Speaker 2: chance others haven't noticed. I'm pretty sure people noticed that

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Speaker 2: I was awkward, but I'm going to push that to

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Speaker 2: the side to this conversation about as awkward as I

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Speaker 2: feel as being an introvert, extroverts are feeling this too.

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Speaker 2: And when he was talking about his experiences and he's like,

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Speaker 2: I almost had a panic attack twice. He's like, I've

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Speaker 2: never had that. And then coming here, I've realized, oh

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Speaker 2: my god, I'm so alone that when I'm starting to

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Speaker 2: talk to people, I can't stop and figure out what

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Speaker 2: I want to say, and it becomes overwhelming. But I

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Speaker 2: need to be with people. He's like, I really wish

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Speaker 2: I could just go to the office. And while I

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Speaker 2: was saying that, I'm like, can you go into the office,

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Speaker 2: and he's like, there's nobody there, and everybody's kind of like,

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Speaker 2: you know, we're still in I don't think it's going

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Speaker 2: to change now, like people have tried to change it

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Speaker 2: than not working from home, but people are too set

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Speaker 2: in their ways, and I'm glad. But for people like him,

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Speaker 2: this is really causing him a lot of anxiety, which

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Speaker 2: I feel bad for him, but also feels like relieving

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Speaker 2: and validating to me to be like, Okay, so we're

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Speaker 2: not I as the introvert being awkward now awkward er

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Speaker 2: uh huh. I can see that it's actually affecting everyone

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Speaker 2: to come back together. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I've been thinking about this a lot to what I'm

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Speaker 1: calling like the new isolation, because I am an extrovert.

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Speaker 1: I am definitely an extrovert. For a while, I was like,

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Speaker 1: it doesn't seem like I am, but I am. But

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Speaker 1: I have now instituted new rules, which Samantha is very

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Speaker 1: familiar with. R Like, I try to have one day

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Speaker 1: where I don't deal with anybody like in person. And

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Speaker 1: it's interesting to me because I do relate to what

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Speaker 1: this fellow was telling you. When I go out now,

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Speaker 1: it's like something inside of me as like, oh God,

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Speaker 1: how do we do this? I don't remember how to

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Speaker 1: do this anymore, but I have to do it. But

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Speaker 1: then there's also like the people pleasing that people are

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Speaker 1: conditioned to do, which is I think why I shut

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Speaker 1: down so hard. Yeah during the pandemic was oh, like okay, Well,

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Speaker 1: there is something to be said about being an extrovert

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Speaker 1: and being a people pleaser, especially.

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Speaker 3: As a woman.

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Speaker 1: I think, yeah, where I am an extrovert, and I

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Speaker 1: do feel energized about when I talk to people when

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Speaker 1: we do this, even though as silly as it is,

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Speaker 1: it makes me anxious to podcast to this day, it

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Speaker 1: does energize me. But at the same time, I'm like,

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Speaker 1: it's like I'll lose myself. I'll lose myself into pleasing

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Speaker 1: other people with the extrovertedness involved, and then I'll come

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Speaker 1: home and I'll crash and I think I did everything

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Speaker 1: wrong that could ever have been done wrong right.

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Speaker 2: Right, And that's exactly like it seems like it's a

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Speaker 2: spectrum on both ends, like there's so much to this.

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Speaker 2: Like me, I feel the same way, But I've always

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Speaker 2: been an introvert, Like I'm an introverted extrovert, Like is

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Speaker 2: that the word where I can put it on? And

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Speaker 2: when I do, I'm on, But I get tired and

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Speaker 2: like I'm done, I'm spent, And I feel that like

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Speaker 2: I almost have it's like I've deflated and I have

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Speaker 2: no motion, so like I can do it. People who

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Speaker 2: first meet me and I have that on are really

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Speaker 2: surprised to find out that I'm an introvert. Later then

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Speaker 2: they see it, They're like, oh, yeah, you're definitely not.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, yeah, I play the game that I have

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Speaker 2: to and I'm entertaining when I have to be. But

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Speaker 2: done right, I'm gonna be quiet in the corner and

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Speaker 2: probably just stare at you. But for those who are extrovert,

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Speaker 2: who are always on and are energized by this, they

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Speaker 2: still have this level of awkwardness coming in social social

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Speaker 2: anxiety again. So we just did an episode of The

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Speaker 2: Money min me about doctor TikTok As I called it

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Speaker 2: because like I was watching all these videos telling me

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Speaker 2: that I may be these following things. I had this

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Speaker 2: moment of like when I tell you that the echoing

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Speaker 2: chamber where I was so overwhelmed and it sounds something

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Speaker 2: like I was in a box where everything was echoing

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Speaker 2: off and that's all I could hear. The people have

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Speaker 2: that as a sign of autism. I was like, oh,

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Speaker 2: maybe the whole darting and not being able to make

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Speaker 2: contact and when they make intensive eye contact with me,

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Speaker 2: and I'm like looking down because I'm like, please stop,

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Speaker 2: please stop looking at me like that, what's happening? What

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Speaker 2: do they do? Like I'm like maybe I am on

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Speaker 2: the spectrum like all these things. Part of that is

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Speaker 2: like can you grow into it? Of course I think

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Speaker 2: it's more like you know you haven't been correctly diagnosed,

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Speaker 2: and then you discover science way back. But these were

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Speaker 2: not things that I had problems with younger. So even

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Speaker 2: pre pandemic, yes, overwhelming noise still like get get to me,

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Speaker 2: but it was never debilitating to me where I'm almost

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Speaker 2: having a panic attack because of it. Like that's been

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Speaker 2: more recent of course, Like if I'm in stress, but

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Speaker 2: it's obvious that I'm stressed, that's a different conversation. I've

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Speaker 2: had panic attacks before where it had everything to do

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Speaker 2: with my job, where I'm like, I'm about to lose

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Speaker 2: a kid literally like that, or that did lose somebody

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Speaker 2: in my thing, or trying to make heavy decisions about

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Speaker 2: childhood like affect everybody's life. Things like that, being overwhelmed

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Speaker 2: that something bad would happening because I have sixty cases

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Speaker 2: with like two kids each and I have to figure

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Speaker 2: out what to do that panic attacks made more sense

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Speaker 2: to me. But this where I'm not in that lifestyle anymore.

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Speaker 2: I'm just hanging out with friends. This is supposed to

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Speaker 2: be fun. We're eating and drinking and being merry, but

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Speaker 2: I'm overwhelmed to the point that I'm like I have

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Speaker 2: to run away or I'm gonna collapse here or some

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Speaker 2: oh you know, like that level is so much newer.

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Speaker 2: But like seeing all those tiktoks and reels, be like

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Speaker 2: maybe I am this severe on this one or this

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Speaker 2: level and this diagnosis, like they've maybe they got me

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Speaker 2: in understanding. Eh. Of course, like everybody has symptoms of things.

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Speaker 2: Whether that means you should be diagnosed with something is

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Speaker 2: not necessarily true. Again, putting it like that and seeing

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Speaker 2: it like that and me joking, I'm not really joking

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Speaker 2: about it. I was kind of like, maybe I need

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Speaker 2: to think about this, but it does make it almost trivialized,

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Speaker 2: and you have to we have to be careful. I

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Speaker 2: have to be careful about what I say or what

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Speaker 2: I'm thinking about this because I don't want to trivialize

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Speaker 2: what being on the spectrum is and and also normalize

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Speaker 2: again this conversation, like their symptoms that, as you had

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Speaker 2: said in the Monday many that overlap that could be

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Speaker 2: a part of anything. That does not necessarily mean this

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Speaker 2: is your diagnosis that you can self diagnose in any

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Speaker 2: way at all, But moments like this is when I

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Speaker 2: start questioning, Oh my anxiety is to a different level.

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Speaker 2: Maybe it's a different thing.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, And I definitely go listen to that Monday Mini

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Speaker 1: if you haven't heard it yet, I think it. We're

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Speaker 1: all struggling to deal with what is the pandemic? Especially

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Speaker 1: for us who like isolated and trying to come back out?

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Speaker 2: What is for me?

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Speaker 1: It's like, was I just always like I don't know

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Speaker 1: if masking is the right word, but was I always

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Speaker 1: just like I'd gotten used to right managing these things

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Speaker 1: and now I'm not used to managing these things anymore?

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Speaker 1: And what is both what is like perhaps the overlap

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Speaker 1: in that because I've definitely had panic attacks where I

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Speaker 1: wouldn't have had them before the pandemic, and that also

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Speaker 1: can be things change you get older, like so it's

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Speaker 1: hard to say, it's hard to say.

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Speaker 2: That gap really makes you question things that your gap

380
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Speaker 2: of like what happened because you really were able to

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Speaker 2: analyze yourself a little too much.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and then you're all around all these people again

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Speaker 1: and you're like what trying to remember like what you

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Speaker 1: what you would do? And then it's kind of like, well,

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Speaker 1: why is it a thing that I have to remember?

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Speaker 1: Why is it not just a batural right?

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Speaker 2: But yeah, so with all of that, I did see

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Speaker 2: if there was a there are articles about being awkward,

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Speaker 2: and yes, this article that was written by someone who

390
00:21:06,040 --> 00:21:09,680
Speaker 2: is an extrovert by nature. So this was twenty twenty one,

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Speaker 2: so not recently but pretty much pretty recently after the

392
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Speaker 2: quarantine and realizing things have changed. But she talks about

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Speaker 2: being socially awkward as well, even though she is an extrovert,

394
00:21:21,840 --> 00:21:26,639
Speaker 2: and in that she talks about some ways to be

395
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Speaker 2: less awkward, and one of them is about, you know,

396
00:21:31,359 --> 00:21:34,800
Speaker 2: control what you can. And that's a really smart conversation

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Speaker 2: to have, Like we kind of get in that panic

398
00:21:37,640 --> 00:21:40,040
Speaker 2: situation because we think about everything we did wrong, which

399
00:21:40,160 --> 00:21:42,040
Speaker 2: include most of the times sayings that has nothing that

400
00:21:42,080 --> 00:21:46,760
Speaker 2: you can control, whether it's standing in silence for a second,

401
00:21:47,119 --> 00:21:52,160
Speaker 2: both of you are feeling that maybe or not being

402
00:21:52,200 --> 00:21:54,800
Speaker 2: able to hear in that context, like all of these

403
00:21:54,840 --> 00:21:57,520
Speaker 2: things understanding you can control what you can and let

404
00:21:57,640 --> 00:21:59,240
Speaker 2: go of what you can't control and let just let

405
00:21:59,240 --> 00:22:03,280
Speaker 2: it be, which is which is a hard hard thing

406
00:22:03,320 --> 00:22:07,239
Speaker 2: to learn. But I like this other one. Awkwardness can

407
00:22:07,280 --> 00:22:09,600
Speaker 2: be bonding, which is I think what I like that's

408
00:22:09,760 --> 00:22:12,879
Speaker 2: my self defense is to call it out quickly and

409
00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:15,879
Speaker 2: hopes that we can get past it. Right, I'm gonna

410
00:22:15,880 --> 00:22:19,120
Speaker 2: call my awkwardness out real quick. I'm going to do

411
00:22:19,160 --> 00:22:22,200
Speaker 2: the things that like, oh, that's silly me, I'm so sorry,

412
00:22:22,400 --> 00:22:24,520
Speaker 2: I'm the one that did this, or right, you know,

413
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Speaker 2: any other things to make myself like the self deprecation,

414
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Speaker 2: but at the same time trying to ease it up.

415
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Speaker 1: M hm.

416
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Speaker 2: But it's having that moment of like, I feel like,

417
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Speaker 2: after all this, me and you really did bond in

418
00:22:37,359 --> 00:22:41,200
Speaker 2: realizing we went to the same thing during that party,

419
00:22:41,320 --> 00:22:43,480
Speaker 2: thinking that we were alone and trying to escape both

420
00:22:43,560 --> 00:22:47,600
Speaker 2: each other and the spot, but together like that all

421
00:22:47,640 --> 00:22:51,720
Speaker 2: of those things were happening. And then just also realizing

422
00:22:51,800 --> 00:22:55,800
Speaker 2: again you're not the only one, even though it feels

423
00:22:55,840 --> 00:22:57,680
Speaker 2: like it and you feel like you're the one that's

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00:22:57,960 --> 00:23:01,399
Speaker 2: having to perform. And I think those are some smart

425
00:23:01,400 --> 00:23:03,160
Speaker 2: like she has some other things on here is from

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Speaker 2: FastCompany dot com. It's an eight twenty twenty one article

427
00:23:07,560 --> 00:23:10,240
Speaker 2: about it. But I found that that to be like, yeah, okay,

428
00:23:10,240 --> 00:23:13,679
Speaker 2: that makes sense, but it just it's not changing for me.

429
00:23:13,760 --> 00:23:17,360
Speaker 2: It's growing, even though technically I have practiced more. Yeah,

430
00:23:17,400 --> 00:23:24,560
Speaker 2: I've been going out more, but it's still like difficult.

431
00:23:23,160 --> 00:23:27,240
Speaker 1: It is, and I've gotten a much more. I feel

432
00:23:27,280 --> 00:23:30,040
Speaker 1: like I've I've sort of I've started going out more,

433
00:23:30,119 --> 00:23:32,600
Speaker 1: and I've started like not crying when I get home

434
00:23:32,600 --> 00:23:35,439
Speaker 1: from going out, which unfortunately was what was happening for

435
00:23:35,480 --> 00:23:41,520
Speaker 1: a while. But I've also become much more like, no,

436
00:23:42,080 --> 00:23:45,000
Speaker 1: I need I need this data myself, which I don't

437
00:23:45,000 --> 00:23:49,800
Speaker 1: think is necessarily bad, but that was not Oh not all.

438
00:23:49,520 --> 00:23:51,120
Speaker 2: That's a great thing you can control.

439
00:23:51,560 --> 00:23:56,679
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, And I do think also this isn't always

440
00:23:56,680 --> 00:23:58,600
Speaker 1: the most comforting thought that a lot of times I

441
00:23:58,640 --> 00:23:59,760
Speaker 1: tried to comfort myself with it.

442
00:23:59,840 --> 00:24:00,840
Speaker 3: But I also think, like.

443
00:24:00,800 --> 00:24:02,840
Speaker 1: A lot of times when I get home and I'm like, oh,

444
00:24:03,760 --> 00:24:07,399
Speaker 1: what have I done? Probably everyone I talked to is

445
00:24:07,520 --> 00:24:10,040
Speaker 1: not thinking about anything that I've done, Hopefully, I mean,

446
00:24:10,119 --> 00:24:13,080
Speaker 1: unless I've done something agreetious.

447
00:24:12,520 --> 00:24:16,320
Speaker 2: Right like honestly, unless I mentioned it that.

448
00:24:16,440 --> 00:24:20,280
Speaker 1: Like you did, Yeah, it's I think it's human nature.

449
00:24:20,320 --> 00:24:22,920
Speaker 1: I think we all do it. It's true, and I'm

450
00:24:22,960 --> 00:24:26,000
Speaker 1: not I don't want to dismiss or invalidate it, but

451
00:24:26,040 --> 00:24:28,760
Speaker 1: I do think we all do it. And there probably

452
00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:33,879
Speaker 1: a lot of times people are not like she I

453
00:24:33,920 --> 00:24:34,560
Speaker 1: saw her.

454
00:24:36,720 --> 00:24:39,720
Speaker 2: They probably take it upon themselves like what did I do? Yeah?

455
00:24:39,760 --> 00:24:41,440
Speaker 3: Exactly honestly.

456
00:24:42,200 --> 00:24:45,320
Speaker 1: But it also is strange because occasionally I thought that

457
00:24:45,400 --> 00:24:49,280
Speaker 1: and then I've learned that it wasn't the case where people.

458
00:24:49,080 --> 00:24:54,240
Speaker 3: Were like, oh, she wasn't there, and to do this,

459
00:24:55,200 --> 00:24:56,680
Speaker 3: I don't know. I don't know if it's.

460
00:24:56,560 --> 00:25:03,400
Speaker 2: Worth Oh you don't tell me, but oh my goodness, No.

461
00:25:03,960 --> 00:25:07,439
Speaker 1: It's just it is interesting how much of for me

462
00:25:07,640 --> 00:25:12,280
Speaker 1: and for you? I would say the pandemic is really like,

463
00:25:12,320 --> 00:25:13,520
Speaker 1: it's not going away from me.

464
00:25:13,760 --> 00:25:16,320
Speaker 3: It is something that I'm like, it's.

465
00:25:16,200 --> 00:25:18,640
Speaker 2: Been a little while, like this article was twenty twenty one,

466
00:25:18,800 --> 00:25:23,520
Speaker 2: and I'm like, how they feel today? Have they learned? Right?

467
00:25:23,840 --> 00:25:27,040
Speaker 2: Not awkward? Like they gave the advice. So I'm wondering, Hey,

468
00:25:27,119 --> 00:25:31,639
Speaker 2: Gwin morn, if you were how are you doing today?

469
00:25:32,760 --> 00:25:33,320
Speaker 2: That's the writer?

470
00:25:35,040 --> 00:25:39,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, it is interesting. Well you and I have hung out, Sam,

471
00:25:39,720 --> 00:25:43,639
Speaker 1: and that's good. You always think yeah.

472
00:25:43,160 --> 00:25:49,760
Speaker 2: And so we're comfortable. Well I would think no.

473
00:25:48,200 --> 00:25:52,639
Speaker 1: No no no no no, You've been great. But cheers

474
00:25:52,840 --> 00:25:57,359
Speaker 1: to you, cheers and to you listeners. Please let us

475
00:25:57,359 --> 00:25:59,800
Speaker 1: know if you have thoughts about this, if you can relate,

476
00:26:01,480 --> 00:26:04,159
Speaker 1: you can email us at stuffan your mom Stuff at

477
00:26:04,200 --> 00:26:06,560
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478
00:26:06,560 --> 00:26:09,320
Speaker 1: mom Stuff podcast, or on Instagram and TikTok at stuff one.

479
00:26:09,400 --> 00:26:12,160
Speaker 1: Never told you. We have a tea public store and

480
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Speaker 1: we have a book where you can get it where

481
00:26:14,359 --> 00:26:17,520
Speaker 1: if you get your books. Thanks so silis too, our

482
00:26:17,680 --> 00:26:21,080
Speaker 1: super producing Christina, our executive producer Maya, and your contributor Joey.

483
00:26:21,240 --> 00:26:24,600
Speaker 1: Thank you, Yes who we need to hang out I

484
00:26:24,800 --> 00:26:28,440
Speaker 1: r L with soon, but yes, thanks to you for listening.

485
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