1 00:00:05,519 --> 00:00:05,640 Speaker 1: Hi. 2 00:00:05,600 --> 00:00:08,320 Speaker 2: I am Kate Hudson and my name is Oliver Hudson. 3 00:00:08,560 --> 00:00:11,880 Speaker 2: We wanted to do something that highlighted our relationship and 4 00:00:11,880 --> 00:00:21,040 Speaker 2: what it's like to be siblings. We are a sibling railvalry. 5 00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:32,000 Speaker 1: No, no, sibling, don't do that with your mouth, revelry. 6 00:00:33,680 --> 00:00:42,800 Speaker 2: That's good introduction with Oliver Hudson. This is the intro 7 00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:48,400 Speaker 2: of the podcast Sibling Revelry. I am doing the intro 8 00:00:49,080 --> 00:00:51,800 Speaker 2: in case anyone is wondering. I'm doing the intro before 9 00:00:53,600 --> 00:00:56,600 Speaker 2: we introduced our guest, Emma Seppola. I just want to 10 00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:59,560 Speaker 2: talk about the end of school, because the end of 11 00:00:59,600 --> 00:01:03,720 Speaker 2: school is upon us for those of you who have children, 12 00:01:04,360 --> 00:01:10,040 Speaker 2: and it is the most exciting time ever because I 13 00:01:10,080 --> 00:01:13,120 Speaker 2: guess it depends what age your kids are, you know 14 00:01:13,160 --> 00:01:16,959 Speaker 2: what I mean, Because some people maybe don't look forward 15 00:01:17,040 --> 00:01:20,080 Speaker 2: to summer because now you have to occupy your children 16 00:01:20,160 --> 00:01:23,920 Speaker 2: because they are of a certain age to where they're 17 00:01:23,959 --> 00:01:26,479 Speaker 2: not away in school and you have like six seven 18 00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:30,119 Speaker 2: to eight hours to you know, work, to do your thing, 19 00:01:30,840 --> 00:01:34,720 Speaker 2: and then summer comes and boom. Now you're inundated with 20 00:01:34,760 --> 00:01:38,120 Speaker 2: your children having to find activities. But that's not me. 21 00:01:38,959 --> 00:01:43,399 Speaker 2: It's goddamn summertime and it's time to sleep, it's time 22 00:01:43,440 --> 00:01:49,560 Speaker 2: to celebrate. We have two more days. When they were kids, 23 00:01:51,440 --> 00:01:54,080 Speaker 2: I'm one to embarrass my children. I just love doing it, 24 00:01:54,160 --> 00:01:58,080 Speaker 2: and hopefully it makes some stronger people because of it. 25 00:01:58,320 --> 00:02:01,560 Speaker 2: Or they could be an extinsive therapy. I don't know. 26 00:02:02,160 --> 00:02:04,720 Speaker 2: It will go one of two ways. There's no right 27 00:02:04,760 --> 00:02:07,840 Speaker 2: down the middle. But you know, I would love to 28 00:02:07,880 --> 00:02:11,600 Speaker 2: pull up blasting schools out for summer. And they hated it. 29 00:02:11,639 --> 00:02:13,960 Speaker 2: And then now you know, I got a sixteen year old, 30 00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:17,200 Speaker 2: a fourteen year old. It's horrifying for them. I mean, 31 00:02:18,160 --> 00:02:23,280 Speaker 2: it's just horrifying. They care so much about what people think, 32 00:02:23,320 --> 00:02:25,040 Speaker 2: as we all did when we were that age, like, 33 00:02:25,080 --> 00:02:31,160 Speaker 2: oh my god. But summers upon us very excited. It's 34 00:02:31,160 --> 00:02:35,200 Speaker 2: time to party. I got a haircut, a fresh cut, chop, 35 00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:40,280 Speaker 2: my salad. I'm ready to roll. But first, let's get 36 00:02:40,280 --> 00:02:43,200 Speaker 2: into some happiness. Let's get into some science of happiness, 37 00:02:44,880 --> 00:02:50,120 Speaker 2: because connecting those two things, summer makes you happy. Let's 38 00:02:50,160 --> 00:02:55,640 Speaker 2: figure out why interesting we're living in this sort of 39 00:02:55,720 --> 00:03:00,120 Speaker 2: new age, not new age, but this you know, we 40 00:03:00,160 --> 00:03:02,920 Speaker 2: are all trying to sort of find the secret sauce. 41 00:03:03,720 --> 00:03:07,480 Speaker 2: How do we stay happy of course, the ups and 42 00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:10,320 Speaker 2: the downs of life will happen. But how do we 43 00:03:10,400 --> 00:03:15,880 Speaker 2: consistently stay in somewhat of a frame of mind to 44 00:03:15,960 --> 00:03:20,320 Speaker 2: where we're not spewing these negative feelings and creating these 45 00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:25,799 Speaker 2: negative emotions that are only a detriment, honestly to our 46 00:03:25,880 --> 00:03:31,680 Speaker 2: physical well being. I'm always on a bit of a search. 47 00:03:32,800 --> 00:03:38,160 Speaker 2: I write in my journal, I do little manifestations that 48 00:03:38,240 --> 00:03:39,760 Speaker 2: I may or may not believe in, But why not 49 00:03:39,880 --> 00:03:44,760 Speaker 2: fucking give it a shot. But let's talk to Ami Sepola, 50 00:03:45,120 --> 00:03:48,120 Speaker 2: because she actually has studied this shit instead of me, 51 00:03:48,600 --> 00:03:54,080 Speaker 2: you know, spouting my certain beliefs. And she has a 52 00:03:54,080 --> 00:03:59,160 Speaker 2: new book out called Sovereign, And then there's a bunch 53 00:03:59,240 --> 00:04:01,520 Speaker 2: of other things like Sovereign, like how to become the 54 00:04:01,560 --> 00:04:03,320 Speaker 2: greatest human being in the world or whatever it is, 55 00:04:03,360 --> 00:04:06,800 Speaker 2: but Sovereign. Just google Sovereign and buy Sovereign. That is 56 00:04:06,840 --> 00:04:09,360 Speaker 2: the book that might change your life. Anyway, Let's bring 57 00:04:09,440 --> 00:04:11,839 Speaker 2: her on so she can educate me and everyone else 58 00:04:11,880 --> 00:04:18,880 Speaker 2: around us, maybe make this this date a little bit better. Hello, Hello, Hello, 59 00:04:20,120 --> 00:04:23,200 Speaker 2: how are you good? Well, I'm so glad to talk 60 00:04:23,200 --> 00:04:28,120 Speaker 2: to you. Thank you for coming on. Our friend James Dodie, 61 00:04:28,240 --> 00:04:33,000 Speaker 2: he was so awesome. We actually exchanged phone numbers. We 62 00:04:33,120 --> 00:04:36,159 Speaker 2: kind of text. Now I think we're becoming best friends. 63 00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:36,880 Speaker 2: I'm not sure. 64 00:04:38,520 --> 00:04:41,000 Speaker 3: That's awesome. He's a really good friend to have. I 65 00:04:41,080 --> 00:04:41,520 Speaker 3: love him. 66 00:04:42,160 --> 00:04:42,640 Speaker 1: He is. 67 00:04:42,920 --> 00:04:47,320 Speaker 3: Yeah, we work together for many years, and yeah, he's special. 68 00:04:47,960 --> 00:04:51,039 Speaker 2: He is. I mean, his story was really inspiring, you know, 69 00:04:52,360 --> 00:04:55,719 Speaker 2: just about sort of you know, the world of manifestation, 70 00:04:56,360 --> 00:04:59,880 Speaker 2: the neuroscience behind it, which is why I'm sort of 71 00:05:00,480 --> 00:05:03,440 Speaker 2: I'm excited to talk to you about for so many 72 00:05:03,480 --> 00:05:07,720 Speaker 2: different reasons. Number one, it holds a special place for 73 00:05:07,800 --> 00:05:09,880 Speaker 2: me as far as sort of the science of happiness 74 00:05:09,920 --> 00:05:13,840 Speaker 2: because this is what my mother has been sort of 75 00:05:14,040 --> 00:05:19,000 Speaker 2: researching for years and years and years now, I mean 76 00:05:19,120 --> 00:05:23,560 Speaker 2: twenty plus years. Yes, happiness has been sort of her 77 00:05:23,640 --> 00:05:30,200 Speaker 2: focus joy sort of not just the sort of existential 78 00:05:30,240 --> 00:05:33,280 Speaker 2: idea of it, but the actual science behind it, you know. 79 00:05:34,160 --> 00:05:37,160 Speaker 2: And to talk to someone who has actually dedicated a 80 00:05:37,200 --> 00:05:41,400 Speaker 2: lot of their lives to that is exciting because you 81 00:05:41,440 --> 00:05:43,680 Speaker 2: can actually put some data to it. 82 00:05:44,120 --> 00:05:45,839 Speaker 3: Yeah, Yeah, I love it. 83 00:05:45,960 --> 00:05:46,159 Speaker 2: Yeah. 84 00:05:46,200 --> 00:05:50,160 Speaker 3: I've been aware of her research with the meditation and 85 00:05:50,200 --> 00:05:52,359 Speaker 3: with children and yeah for a while because I've been 86 00:05:52,400 --> 00:05:55,080 Speaker 3: in that field for wellness. It's really awesome work. 87 00:05:55,680 --> 00:05:58,480 Speaker 2: So how did you get into this? You know, I mean, 88 00:05:58,800 --> 00:06:00,920 Speaker 2: how did this all happen for you? And did it 89 00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:01,880 Speaker 2: start like this? 90 00:06:02,880 --> 00:06:04,760 Speaker 3: Well, it started with so I grew up in Paris, 91 00:06:04,839 --> 00:06:08,159 Speaker 3: which sounds, you know, really romantic, but it's actually there's 92 00:06:08,200 --> 00:06:10,920 Speaker 3: a lot of negativity in the culture, and so growing 93 00:06:10,960 --> 00:06:13,440 Speaker 3: up there, you always think everything's always going a hell 94 00:06:13,480 --> 00:06:15,560 Speaker 3: and a hand basket. You're never good enough, nothing will 95 00:06:15,560 --> 00:06:18,400 Speaker 3: ever work out. That's kind of the thoughts that are 96 00:06:18,440 --> 00:06:20,400 Speaker 3: going on. Even as a kid. You just learned that. 97 00:06:21,040 --> 00:06:23,400 Speaker 3: And then I moved to the US for college and 98 00:06:23,720 --> 00:06:26,159 Speaker 3: I saw, oh, wow, like, people don't have time for 99 00:06:26,200 --> 00:06:28,800 Speaker 3: complaints here, people are more positive. I thought, I really 100 00:06:28,839 --> 00:06:31,559 Speaker 3: like this. But then I looked around and I saw, wow, 101 00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:35,599 Speaker 3: people believe I am what I do and my achievements 102 00:06:35,640 --> 00:06:39,599 Speaker 3: are essential to my identity. And I saw people burning 103 00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:44,360 Speaker 3: themselves into the ground that there's something that's still causing 104 00:06:44,360 --> 00:06:46,400 Speaker 3: a lot of suffering, you know, And I think we 105 00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:48,760 Speaker 3: can see that around us all the time. And then 106 00:06:48,880 --> 00:06:50,920 Speaker 3: after college, I went to China for a couple of years, 107 00:06:51,040 --> 00:06:54,040 Speaker 3: and I saw people who had absolutely nothing, and they 108 00:06:54,040 --> 00:06:58,240 Speaker 3: were freaking grateful for everything, and they were so strong, 109 00:06:58,680 --> 00:07:02,080 Speaker 3: they were so resilient, and even though having nothing, and 110 00:07:02,120 --> 00:07:05,120 Speaker 3: I was like, WHOA, like, these people have something that 111 00:07:05,240 --> 00:07:09,080 Speaker 3: in the West we have outer wealth, these people inner wealth. 112 00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:13,000 Speaker 3: And I saw the same in India and then I thought, okay, 113 00:07:13,120 --> 00:07:14,960 Speaker 3: I needed research this further. So then I did a 114 00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:19,840 Speaker 3: master's in East Asian Studies slash Buddhist studies at Columbia 115 00:07:19,880 --> 00:07:24,280 Speaker 3: with Bob Thurman, who you probably know about. Yeah, yeah, 116 00:07:24,320 --> 00:07:26,760 Speaker 3: and so, and that was awesome and I loved it, 117 00:07:27,360 --> 00:07:31,160 Speaker 3: and I thought, okay. Oh. At one point I thought 118 00:07:31,160 --> 00:07:32,600 Speaker 3: I'm gonna do a pag with him, and I thought, no, 119 00:07:32,760 --> 00:07:35,120 Speaker 3: I don't want to make this just an intellectual exercise. 120 00:07:36,280 --> 00:07:39,240 Speaker 3: And I started really getting serious about my meditation practice. 121 00:07:39,880 --> 00:07:41,320 Speaker 3: And then I thought, okay, let me do a peach 122 00:07:41,360 --> 00:07:44,160 Speaker 3: in psychology because I can do research on meditation and 123 00:07:44,200 --> 00:07:46,320 Speaker 3: whether it benefits people and show it with data and 124 00:07:46,360 --> 00:07:49,040 Speaker 3: if it does, that can help people. And so then 125 00:07:49,080 --> 00:07:51,960 Speaker 3: I went into I did a pH in psychology and 126 00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:55,080 Speaker 3: looked at the science of well being and compassion, and 127 00:07:55,240 --> 00:07:58,960 Speaker 3: also did studies on meditation for mental health, for well being, 128 00:07:58,960 --> 00:08:01,880 Speaker 3: and I work with veterans with trauma using breathing practices 129 00:08:01,960 --> 00:08:04,679 Speaker 3: and a lot of the things that had also helped 130 00:08:04,720 --> 00:08:07,120 Speaker 3: me because I was in New York City during nine 131 00:08:07,120 --> 00:08:09,880 Speaker 3: to eleven and I had definitely had some some trauma 132 00:08:09,880 --> 00:08:10,560 Speaker 3: stuff going on. 133 00:08:10,880 --> 00:08:12,760 Speaker 2: Yeah, I was about to ask that, like, you know, 134 00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:17,040 Speaker 2: did you suffer with your own sort of anxiety depression 135 00:08:17,440 --> 00:08:19,600 Speaker 2: or sort of who am I in this big world? 136 00:08:19,680 --> 00:08:23,840 Speaker 2: This overwhelming feeling, you know, of how am I going 137 00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:25,200 Speaker 2: to make a difference? Who am I? 138 00:08:25,440 --> 00:08:25,640 Speaker 3: You know? 139 00:08:25,720 --> 00:08:28,280 Speaker 2: And then had to sort of utilize some of your 140 00:08:28,320 --> 00:08:32,120 Speaker 2: practices meditation to get yourself out of funks? 141 00:08:32,600 --> 00:08:37,120 Speaker 3: Absolutely, absolutely, And I think it was it just became 142 00:08:37,160 --> 00:08:39,720 Speaker 3: really apparent after nine and eleven. Every morning at eight thirty, 143 00:08:39,720 --> 00:08:42,000 Speaker 3: I'd be sitting in my little, you know, studio apartment 144 00:08:42,040 --> 00:08:45,720 Speaker 3: on West hundred Street shaking before going out. And I 145 00:08:45,760 --> 00:08:48,719 Speaker 3: was like, all right, like something's got to change. You know. 146 00:08:48,880 --> 00:08:50,440 Speaker 3: I tried so many things. I didn't want to go 147 00:08:50,440 --> 00:08:52,520 Speaker 3: with the medication route. I did want to go with 148 00:08:52,520 --> 00:08:54,800 Speaker 3: the meditation route, but I tried a lot of things 149 00:08:54,800 --> 00:08:58,240 Speaker 3: that I tried, you know, you know, I was going 150 00:08:58,240 --> 00:09:01,480 Speaker 3: to the Tibet House all the time, following Bob them 151 00:09:01,480 --> 00:09:03,959 Speaker 3: around and all the Tibetan monks, hoping to gain inner 152 00:09:04,040 --> 00:09:07,880 Speaker 3: piece by osmosis, and that wasn't working. I did. I 153 00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:10,040 Speaker 3: did beagrim yoga like five times a week, and I 154 00:09:10,120 --> 00:09:13,040 Speaker 3: was strong, but I was still anxious. And then I 155 00:09:13,080 --> 00:09:15,559 Speaker 3: also was trying mindfulness, which was sort of new at 156 00:09:15,559 --> 00:09:21,319 Speaker 3: the time, new in the sense of Kebatsin's work had 157 00:09:21,360 --> 00:09:23,400 Speaker 3: just sort of his first books were out and not 158 00:09:23,440 --> 00:09:25,560 Speaker 3: a lot of people knew about it yet. But I 159 00:09:25,600 --> 00:09:28,640 Speaker 3: still felt like, if I just sit here and observe, 160 00:09:28,760 --> 00:09:31,520 Speaker 3: I'm just so freaking aware that I'm anxious and it's 161 00:09:31,559 --> 00:09:33,400 Speaker 3: making me crazy, you know. And I was like, this 162 00:09:33,440 --> 00:09:36,480 Speaker 3: isn't working for me. And then I stumbled into a 163 00:09:36,520 --> 00:09:40,560 Speaker 3: breathing practice that I learned at Columbia. Some of the 164 00:09:40,559 --> 00:09:44,840 Speaker 3: fellow students had organized this program. It's called skybreath meditation, 165 00:09:46,440 --> 00:09:49,800 Speaker 3: and I thought, I hate this. And then at the 166 00:09:49,920 --> 00:09:52,439 Speaker 3: end of the class, the teacher said, do this for 167 00:09:52,440 --> 00:09:54,800 Speaker 3: forty days and then see if it works for you. 168 00:09:54,840 --> 00:09:56,120 Speaker 3: And I said, yeah, I'm going to do this because 169 00:09:56,120 --> 00:09:58,640 Speaker 3: I don't believe you, you know, And also as a scientist, 170 00:09:58,720 --> 00:10:02,280 Speaker 3: I just that's how I think I'm twenty years later, 171 00:10:02,320 --> 00:10:05,120 Speaker 3: I'm still practicing every day and that's what I've done 172 00:10:05,120 --> 00:10:07,280 Speaker 3: some of my research on the breathing. So I just realized, 173 00:10:07,280 --> 00:10:10,800 Speaker 3: like poor anxiety. That was a really good practice for me, 174 00:10:10,840 --> 00:10:14,920 Speaker 3: and that's when I then connected research with veterans later on, 175 00:10:15,400 --> 00:10:17,880 Speaker 3: because I think a form of meditation. 176 00:10:18,320 --> 00:10:20,040 Speaker 2: I mean, I think we have this idea that it's 177 00:10:20,080 --> 00:10:23,199 Speaker 2: just sitting quietly with your legs sort of cross with meditation. 178 00:10:23,760 --> 00:10:25,959 Speaker 2: And this is just my own opinion, but it can 179 00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:28,720 Speaker 2: mean so many things. I mean, I can have a 180 00:10:28,800 --> 00:10:33,440 Speaker 2: meditative experience while I'm walking, or the other day I 181 00:10:33,520 --> 00:10:37,720 Speaker 2: was running and my eyes were so focused only about 182 00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:40,360 Speaker 2: ten feet in front of me, and I almost lost 183 00:10:40,480 --> 00:10:43,480 Speaker 2: consciousness in the sense of I know, I'm heading in 184 00:10:43,520 --> 00:10:46,720 Speaker 2: a direction, but my mind is no longer on sort 185 00:10:46,760 --> 00:10:50,120 Speaker 2: of that direction, and I was my brain started to 186 00:10:50,160 --> 00:10:53,560 Speaker 2: move into this sort of sort of peaceful meditative place, 187 00:10:53,800 --> 00:11:00,840 Speaker 2: you know. So it's finding your meditation, your personal meditation, right, yes. 188 00:11:00,720 --> 00:11:03,800 Speaker 3: And I think we go into meditative states throughout the day, 189 00:11:03,800 --> 00:11:05,640 Speaker 3: whether we realize it or not. And children are in 190 00:11:05,720 --> 00:11:08,760 Speaker 3: it a lot. They're so present, they're so immersed in 191 00:11:08,800 --> 00:11:11,960 Speaker 3: the moment, you know. And it's interesting though, in our 192 00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:14,800 Speaker 3: time and age, when things are moving so fast and 193 00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:19,040 Speaker 3: we're getting pinged from all sides constantly. It's like our 194 00:11:19,160 --> 00:11:23,360 Speaker 3: current modern way of life is stopping us from going 195 00:11:23,360 --> 00:11:26,000 Speaker 3: into those natural places of meditation that we would otherwise 196 00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:27,319 Speaker 3: go into. So which is why we kind of have 197 00:11:27,360 --> 00:11:28,439 Speaker 3: to make it a practice. 198 00:11:28,679 --> 00:11:31,760 Speaker 2: You know. Yeah, no, I know it's so true. I mean, look, 199 00:11:31,800 --> 00:11:36,360 Speaker 2: we can't deny the future. We can't deny the evolution 200 00:11:36,559 --> 00:11:41,200 Speaker 2: of technology. It's just what it is, you know. But 201 00:11:41,360 --> 00:11:45,520 Speaker 2: I do think nature is extremely important in that balance 202 00:11:45,640 --> 00:11:48,960 Speaker 2: because the minute you get into a place where you 203 00:11:49,040 --> 00:11:51,120 Speaker 2: have trees, you have the ocean, you have a river, 204 00:11:51,200 --> 00:11:53,400 Speaker 2: you have a lake, and you are, you know, in 205 00:11:53,600 --> 00:11:59,160 Speaker 2: somewhat solitary place. You almost you can't help, but your 206 00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:02,960 Speaker 2: mind sort of open up and sort of wander a 207 00:12:02,960 --> 00:12:07,680 Speaker 2: little bit, and you know, find awe. It's so awe. 208 00:12:08,040 --> 00:12:10,720 Speaker 2: The word all awe used to be something I felt 209 00:12:10,720 --> 00:12:12,600 Speaker 2: like we had a lot of, and now it's sort 210 00:12:12,640 --> 00:12:16,440 Speaker 2: of moved away a little bit, that sort of wondrous 211 00:12:16,520 --> 00:12:18,760 Speaker 2: Oh my god, look at what we're looking at. 212 00:12:18,840 --> 00:12:22,520 Speaker 3: You know, yeah, I mean, awe is something we could experience. 213 00:12:22,520 --> 00:12:25,800 Speaker 3: All the kids experience all the time, right all the time, 214 00:12:25,880 --> 00:12:28,920 Speaker 3: and it's like everything is amazing, Like, oh we're still 215 00:12:28,920 --> 00:12:31,080 Speaker 3: alive for another day. That's searching amazing. I mean, there's 216 00:12:31,080 --> 00:12:34,760 Speaker 3: so many things to be so in awe of and 217 00:12:34,760 --> 00:12:37,600 Speaker 3: and I love what you said about nature because you know, 218 00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:42,400 Speaker 3: the science shows that exposure to nature decreases anxiety, depression, 219 00:12:42,400 --> 00:12:45,680 Speaker 3: increases well being, increases creativity. So if you take like 220 00:12:45,720 --> 00:12:47,560 Speaker 3: a team, you know, people always trying to get their 221 00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:49,920 Speaker 3: team to be more innovative, and it's like, well, you're 222 00:12:49,920 --> 00:12:54,160 Speaker 3: having them sweating and sympathetic activation, stressed out at their computer. 223 00:12:54,360 --> 00:12:55,760 Speaker 3: I'm not going to get more innovative there. But if 224 00:12:55,800 --> 00:12:58,760 Speaker 3: you if you have people go into nature for three days, unplugged, 225 00:12:58,800 --> 00:13:02,040 Speaker 3: without their fall nothing, guess how much more creativity they 226 00:13:02,120 --> 00:13:02,559 Speaker 3: come back with. 227 00:13:03,080 --> 00:13:07,960 Speaker 2: Mm hmm. Well you have no choice. Yeah, yeah, oh 228 00:13:07,960 --> 00:13:10,040 Speaker 2: oh my god. I mean you watch I have three 229 00:13:10,120 --> 00:13:13,680 Speaker 2: kids sixteen, fourteen, and eleven, you know, and we're not 230 00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:17,240 Speaker 2: crazy about technology, meaning like I'm not limiting it. I'm 231 00:13:17,280 --> 00:13:20,719 Speaker 2: sort of of the world. We're in it, do it. 232 00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:23,360 Speaker 2: But there's going to be a balance here. You're going 233 00:13:23,440 --> 00:13:25,640 Speaker 2: to have to get outside. You're going to have to 234 00:13:25,760 --> 00:13:29,440 Speaker 2: find something other than sitting in a room and scrolling 235 00:13:29,480 --> 00:13:34,600 Speaker 2: through TikTok. I will say though, that when they don't 236 00:13:34,600 --> 00:13:37,240 Speaker 2: have their phones, or when maybe one is lost or 237 00:13:37,280 --> 00:13:41,800 Speaker 2: something happens, your creativity just opens way up and remember 238 00:13:41,800 --> 00:13:44,360 Speaker 2: when we were kids, it's like, okay, what do we 239 00:13:44,400 --> 00:13:47,959 Speaker 2: do now, Oh well, let's build this and create this 240 00:13:48,120 --> 00:13:51,080 Speaker 2: and jump off of this, even though it might be dangerous, 241 00:13:51,160 --> 00:13:55,760 Speaker 2: you know. I mean, we just did so many more 242 00:13:55,920 --> 00:13:57,920 Speaker 2: things that were innovative. 243 00:13:59,440 --> 00:14:01,600 Speaker 3: Absolutely. I mean, that's one of the reasons I wrote 244 00:14:01,600 --> 00:14:04,800 Speaker 3: my most recent books called Sovereign is just about bringing 245 00:14:04,840 --> 00:14:08,200 Speaker 3: awareness to the fact that we have there are ways 246 00:14:08,240 --> 00:14:10,840 Speaker 3: in which we're limiting our own our own well being, 247 00:14:10,880 --> 00:14:14,160 Speaker 3: but also our own potential. For example, creativity. Again not 248 00:14:14,280 --> 00:14:17,760 Speaker 3: meaning just exclude technology forever from your life, but making 249 00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:19,600 Speaker 3: sure to have boundaries with it. Like we grew up 250 00:14:19,600 --> 00:14:24,160 Speaker 3: in a we just grew up with phones and technology 251 00:14:24,200 --> 00:14:26,680 Speaker 3: taking over our lives without even thinking about Wait a sec, 252 00:14:26,880 --> 00:14:29,320 Speaker 3: what are healthy boundaries? And should I take some time off? 253 00:14:29,320 --> 00:14:30,920 Speaker 3: I mean, I know, for me, when i want to 254 00:14:30,920 --> 00:14:33,760 Speaker 3: write a book or like run a study where I'm 255 00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:37,080 Speaker 3: figuring out the solutions to a problem, It's going to 256 00:14:37,080 --> 00:14:38,560 Speaker 3: come to me when I'm not thinking about it, when 257 00:14:38,560 --> 00:14:41,480 Speaker 3: I'm in nature, when I'm you know, doing something other 258 00:14:41,560 --> 00:14:45,800 Speaker 3: than highly stressed or focused on something. In fact, research 259 00:14:46,040 --> 00:14:48,600 Speaker 3: is that it's not just if you don't have access 260 00:14:48,600 --> 00:14:51,480 Speaker 3: to nature, which a lot of people don't. Unfortunately, then 261 00:14:51,560 --> 00:14:53,560 Speaker 3: even having a plant on your desk, and if you 262 00:14:53,640 --> 00:14:57,480 Speaker 3: don't have a window, even having a screensaver or poster 263 00:14:58,120 --> 00:15:00,800 Speaker 3: has an impact on your well being. That's just how 264 00:15:01,040 --> 00:15:02,200 Speaker 3: people wired. 265 00:15:01,880 --> 00:15:06,000 Speaker 2: We are for it. Okay, love, oh my god, totally. 266 00:15:06,080 --> 00:15:09,000 Speaker 2: I mean, if we're going back to sort of primal man, 267 00:15:09,120 --> 00:15:11,200 Speaker 2: I mean, it's just in our dna. I mean, I 268 00:15:11,200 --> 00:15:15,320 Speaker 2: think that's why. I mean, I can only speak for myself, 269 00:15:15,320 --> 00:15:19,800 Speaker 2: but when I actually get into nature, something happens physically 270 00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:23,440 Speaker 2: to me that I can feel, you know, and it's 271 00:15:23,480 --> 00:15:26,080 Speaker 2: probably I think you can say a lot of people 272 00:15:26,120 --> 00:15:27,560 Speaker 2: feel that way, and I think it's just sort of 273 00:15:27,600 --> 00:15:39,120 Speaker 2: this unconscious reconnection with something primal. I want to go 274 00:15:39,160 --> 00:15:41,520 Speaker 2: back real quick to the breathing because I'm interested in that. 275 00:15:42,720 --> 00:15:45,880 Speaker 2: I've been. I've sort of suffered. I guess you can 276 00:15:45,920 --> 00:15:48,560 Speaker 2: say the word with anxiety since my twenties, and I'm 277 00:15:48,600 --> 00:15:52,400 Speaker 2: sure even before that without the recognition of it. I 278 00:15:52,440 --> 00:15:57,000 Speaker 2: am on medication, I'm on lexapro. I have been meditating, 279 00:15:57,040 --> 00:16:03,080 Speaker 2: but not consistently enough of the practice of mindfulness because 280 00:16:03,080 --> 00:16:06,400 Speaker 2: I firsthand know how it can sort of affect me 281 00:16:06,600 --> 00:16:09,880 Speaker 2: in the most positive way. But it's not. It's it's 282 00:16:09,880 --> 00:16:13,160 Speaker 2: it's much more difficult than people sort of say. It's 283 00:16:13,200 --> 00:16:16,680 Speaker 2: it's not easy to follow and to actually practice. So 284 00:16:17,080 --> 00:16:19,680 Speaker 2: this breathing I'm interested in. What was it called against sky? 285 00:16:20,320 --> 00:16:21,880 Speaker 3: It's called sky breath Menita. 286 00:16:21,800 --> 00:16:23,000 Speaker 2: How does how does it work? 287 00:16:23,840 --> 00:16:26,680 Speaker 3: Yeah? So it's so it's a practice that originally stems 288 00:16:26,720 --> 00:16:28,520 Speaker 3: from India. I don't know if you've heard of Grudev 289 00:16:29,040 --> 00:16:32,360 Speaker 3: Rabbie Shankar. He's like an Indian Yes, yes, yoga master, 290 00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:35,480 Speaker 3: and so he started teaching this I think like forty 291 00:16:35,520 --> 00:16:39,920 Speaker 3: years ago and now you can just learn it online 292 00:16:40,120 --> 00:16:43,800 Speaker 3: a couple of sessions. It's a series of breathing practices 293 00:16:43,840 --> 00:16:46,480 Speaker 3: and that when they come together. What our research I 294 00:16:46,480 --> 00:16:48,240 Speaker 3: can tell you, I mean, I know I feel better 295 00:16:48,280 --> 00:16:50,360 Speaker 3: when I do. It helped me with my anxiety and trauma. 296 00:16:51,080 --> 00:16:52,960 Speaker 3: And then from a scientific perspective, I can tell you 297 00:16:53,040 --> 00:16:54,120 Speaker 3: what we what we see. 298 00:16:54,400 --> 00:16:55,880 Speaker 2: I loved that because I want to get into the 299 00:16:55,880 --> 00:16:57,200 Speaker 2: science of all of this as well. 300 00:16:57,560 --> 00:17:01,680 Speaker 3: Yes, definitely, so what we found. So we worked with 301 00:17:01,800 --> 00:17:05,280 Speaker 3: veterans who for whom traditional treatments hadn't worked, and we 302 00:17:05,359 --> 00:17:07,840 Speaker 3: know that for people with post traumatic stress or veterans 303 00:17:07,840 --> 00:17:12,240 Speaker 3: with post traumatic stress. The therapeutic approach wasn't always something 304 00:17:12,480 --> 00:17:14,640 Speaker 3: that they could complete or that was successful for them, 305 00:17:14,640 --> 00:17:17,120 Speaker 3: including the pharmaceutical approach as well, or they didn't want 306 00:17:17,160 --> 00:17:18,720 Speaker 3: to do the therapy, they didn't want to do the meds. 307 00:17:18,760 --> 00:17:22,280 Speaker 3: So what we ended up seeing was so many veterans 308 00:17:22,320 --> 00:17:24,920 Speaker 3: are dropping out of these studies and then, sadly you've 309 00:17:24,920 --> 00:17:27,639 Speaker 3: probably heard about the suicide rate is really high. Gosh, 310 00:17:27,640 --> 00:17:32,040 Speaker 3: it's so sad because you know, yeah, they basically just 311 00:17:32,119 --> 00:17:34,199 Speaker 3: sort of handed their life over to you know, and 312 00:17:34,240 --> 00:17:36,440 Speaker 3: then they come back and they can't really make it through. 313 00:17:36,480 --> 00:17:39,439 Speaker 3: So it's really sad. And so I thought, you know, 314 00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:42,119 Speaker 3: the breathing worked for me and traum and I know 315 00:17:42,160 --> 00:17:43,920 Speaker 3: it had worked for other people and survivals of the 316 00:17:43,920 --> 00:17:46,560 Speaker 3: tsunami and so forth. There was a couple of research studies, 317 00:17:46,560 --> 00:17:49,240 Speaker 3: so I thought, you know, let's do this, and we 318 00:17:49,320 --> 00:17:51,159 Speaker 3: ran this study over a week. So we had one 319 00:17:51,160 --> 00:17:54,040 Speaker 3: group of veterans who did the learned the breathing, and 320 00:17:54,080 --> 00:17:56,600 Speaker 3: one group veterans who did not. And what we found 321 00:17:56,680 --> 00:17:58,880 Speaker 3: is that over the course of one week, their anxiety 322 00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:02,080 Speaker 3: normalized and it was just you know, with the questionnaire 323 00:18:02,160 --> 00:18:05,359 Speaker 3: like you feel less like it was also physiologically, so 324 00:18:05,400 --> 00:18:09,280 Speaker 3: we put them in a situation where they're sitting in 325 00:18:09,320 --> 00:18:11,320 Speaker 3: a room with the lights turning on and off and 326 00:18:11,400 --> 00:18:14,880 Speaker 3: like blasts of white noise coming, which is mildly annoying 327 00:18:14,880 --> 00:18:16,639 Speaker 3: if you don't have trauma, but if you do, it 328 00:18:16,840 --> 00:18:20,520 Speaker 3: can be very lead to kind of a large startle 329 00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:22,640 Speaker 3: response in the body. And we saw that the more 330 00:18:22,720 --> 00:18:27,600 Speaker 3: their anxiety improved, the less they respond they had an 331 00:18:27,600 --> 00:18:31,119 Speaker 3: anxiety response. We're seeing at the physiological level a shift. 332 00:18:31,160 --> 00:18:33,359 Speaker 3: And then most recently we ran a second study with 333 00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:36,440 Speaker 3: a larger group of veterans with the Palo Alta via 334 00:18:37,200 --> 00:18:39,520 Speaker 3: and they found that it's at least as good as 335 00:18:39,560 --> 00:18:43,560 Speaker 3: the gold standard therapy or post traumatic stress, but even 336 00:18:43,560 --> 00:18:45,760 Speaker 3: more powerful at the level of the brain with regard 337 00:18:45,760 --> 00:18:49,359 Speaker 3: to ability to regulate your emotions. So again from a 338 00:18:49,400 --> 00:18:52,320 Speaker 3: scientific perspective, you know. And again we ran the study 339 00:18:52,320 --> 00:18:54,800 Speaker 3: at Yale as well, not with veterans but with Yale students, 340 00:18:54,840 --> 00:18:58,320 Speaker 3: and we want to see which well being intervention is 341 00:18:58,440 --> 00:19:01,359 Speaker 3: most powerful. Is it the breathing or We did a 342 00:19:01,359 --> 00:19:03,840 Speaker 3: mindfulness based stress reduction class, and then we did an 343 00:19:03,880 --> 00:19:07,639 Speaker 3: emotional intelligence class and a control group, so the students 344 00:19:07,640 --> 00:19:09,600 Speaker 3: would do one of those and we found that the 345 00:19:09,640 --> 00:19:12,840 Speaker 3: breathing had the best results. And what we think is 346 00:19:12,880 --> 00:19:16,480 Speaker 3: happening is it's almost like you're reprogramming your nervous system. 347 00:19:16,960 --> 00:19:18,399 Speaker 3: And if you think about it, like in our day 348 00:19:18,440 --> 00:19:20,720 Speaker 3: and age, we're programmed to be in sympathetic so we're 349 00:19:20,800 --> 00:19:23,560 Speaker 3: programmed to be in fight or flight, m Like, that's 350 00:19:23,560 --> 00:19:27,919 Speaker 3: what our modern life is conditioning us for, starting with 351 00:19:28,280 --> 00:19:30,919 Speaker 3: coffee in the morning, you know, it just starting with that, 352 00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:33,880 Speaker 3: but then go go go stimulation, you know. And also 353 00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:36,399 Speaker 3: this sort of addiction to a dread. I it's one 354 00:19:36,400 --> 00:19:38,440 Speaker 3: of the things I write about my new book. It's 355 00:19:38,480 --> 00:19:42,159 Speaker 3: we're almost addicted to adrenaline. We're almost it's a high, 356 00:19:42,200 --> 00:19:44,560 Speaker 3: it's definitely a high. And it's we think I can't 357 00:19:44,560 --> 00:19:47,440 Speaker 3: get anything done unless I'm in the state, although we're 358 00:19:47,440 --> 00:19:49,800 Speaker 3: really only supposed to be there like one percent of 359 00:19:49,880 --> 00:19:51,679 Speaker 3: five percent of our life, you know, if we want it, 360 00:19:51,760 --> 00:19:55,000 Speaker 3: like anyway, we can go into that. But in any case, 361 00:19:55,680 --> 00:19:58,840 Speaker 3: what this breathing seems to do from a scientific perspective, 362 00:19:58,880 --> 00:20:01,520 Speaker 3: what we're seeing is it to condition your you for 363 00:20:01,960 --> 00:20:05,400 Speaker 3: to be in a balanced state, so you're you're coming 364 00:20:05,440 --> 00:20:07,879 Speaker 3: back to a more parasympathetic state. But also with regards 365 00:20:07,920 --> 00:20:11,120 Speaker 3: to trauma, what the veterans report is I remember what happened, 366 00:20:12,200 --> 00:20:14,200 Speaker 3: but I can move on. So in the case of 367 00:20:14,200 --> 00:20:17,200 Speaker 3: post traumatic stress, it's as if that trauma is right 368 00:20:17,240 --> 00:20:18,960 Speaker 3: in front of you, so you're afraid to go into 369 00:20:18,960 --> 00:20:21,280 Speaker 3: them all because it's a crowded place, and in crowded 370 00:20:21,280 --> 00:20:25,320 Speaker 3: places you experienced an attack or whatever. Right, So, or 371 00:20:25,359 --> 00:20:27,439 Speaker 3: if you could think about, oh, I'm in a new relationship, 372 00:20:27,440 --> 00:20:29,560 Speaker 3: but I have trauma from the last relationship, so I'm 373 00:20:29,640 --> 00:20:33,359 Speaker 3: scared in this relationship, you know. And so what it 374 00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:37,280 Speaker 3: seems to be doing is something we call memory reconsolidation. 375 00:20:37,680 --> 00:20:40,880 Speaker 3: So when you have trauma, you're you're remembering. Let's see, 376 00:20:40,880 --> 00:20:42,720 Speaker 3: you have a car accident, right, and you remember that 377 00:20:42,880 --> 00:20:46,240 Speaker 3: car accident, and you could think, oh, you know, I'm 378 00:20:46,280 --> 00:20:49,760 Speaker 3: over the car accident. But then whenever you're in a car, 379 00:20:50,440 --> 00:20:53,520 Speaker 3: you get at your heart starts beating and you're in 380 00:20:53,520 --> 00:20:57,960 Speaker 3: this fight or flight activation. So it's the memory is 381 00:20:57,960 --> 00:21:01,400 Speaker 3: attached to your body being stressed. Does that make sense? 382 00:21:02,040 --> 00:21:03,879 Speaker 3: And that's in a sense a way you could think 383 00:21:03,920 --> 00:21:06,760 Speaker 3: of post traumatic stress. But what happened with the breathing 384 00:21:06,920 --> 00:21:10,920 Speaker 3: is that they could have the memory but without their 385 00:21:10,920 --> 00:21:14,400 Speaker 3: whole body hijacking the moment. It's like when you've seen 386 00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:16,280 Speaker 3: a movie that's scary, You're like, yeah, that was scary, 387 00:21:16,320 --> 00:21:18,400 Speaker 3: but you're not scared now anymore. That's how a memory 388 00:21:18,440 --> 00:21:21,359 Speaker 3: should be, right, But in trauma, it's like, no, the 389 00:21:21,400 --> 00:21:24,000 Speaker 3: trauma's still here. Twenty five years later, I'm still here. 390 00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:26,320 Speaker 3: I'm still in the trauma. And that's what it seems 391 00:21:26,359 --> 00:21:31,440 Speaker 3: to be, sort of rep normalizing your nervous system and 392 00:21:31,960 --> 00:21:34,760 Speaker 3: thereby so we call it memory reconsolidation, or this idea 393 00:21:34,760 --> 00:21:36,960 Speaker 3: of being able to shift the relationship. 394 00:21:37,680 --> 00:21:41,520 Speaker 2: Do you have to use thought a thought process when 395 00:21:41,560 --> 00:21:45,080 Speaker 2: you are doing this breathing or is it just taking 396 00:21:45,080 --> 00:21:46,000 Speaker 2: care of itself. 397 00:21:46,480 --> 00:21:48,480 Speaker 3: It's taking care of itself, which is really good because 398 00:21:48,760 --> 00:21:52,600 Speaker 3: the veterans they just first of all, they had a 399 00:21:52,600 --> 00:21:54,680 Speaker 3: real show me attitude. They were just doing the study 400 00:21:54,680 --> 00:21:56,240 Speaker 3: for the money. They're like, I'm just here for the money. 401 00:21:56,240 --> 00:21:58,560 Speaker 3: This isn't going to work. And second of all, I 402 00:21:58,600 --> 00:22:01,919 Speaker 3: think they were shying away from all cognitive like you know, 403 00:22:02,080 --> 00:22:05,639 Speaker 3: rethink this rethink, it's just a lot, you know, and 404 00:22:06,040 --> 00:22:09,520 Speaker 3: we also know that you know, there's this idea in 405 00:22:09,520 --> 00:22:12,760 Speaker 3: psychology sort of change your thoughts, change your life, you know, 406 00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:15,399 Speaker 3: and that's okay, But if you're dealing with big trauma 407 00:22:15,480 --> 00:22:18,560 Speaker 3: or big emotion, it's not going to work because when 408 00:22:18,560 --> 00:22:20,879 Speaker 3: you have a big trauma, you're at migdala is activated 409 00:22:20,920 --> 00:22:24,000 Speaker 3: that the emotion centers are activated. You don't have access 410 00:22:24,040 --> 00:22:26,480 Speaker 3: to your ability to think clearly. We know that that's 411 00:22:26,520 --> 00:22:30,080 Speaker 3: what neuroscience shows. So change your thoughts, change your life 412 00:22:30,359 --> 00:22:32,440 Speaker 3: maybe works. If you're upset about a parking ticket. It's 413 00:22:32,440 --> 00:22:33,760 Speaker 3: not going to work if you're upset because you just 414 00:22:33,760 --> 00:22:34,760 Speaker 3: found yourselfs. 415 00:22:34,400 --> 00:22:37,919 Speaker 2: Cheating on you, right right, Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, I 416 00:22:37,960 --> 00:22:41,399 Speaker 2: know because I went through you know, stilling CBT, you know, 417 00:22:41,520 --> 00:22:45,919 Speaker 2: cognitivile therapy, and I really loved it. It made the 418 00:22:45,960 --> 00:22:48,520 Speaker 2: most sense to me. It was very active therapy. Yeah, 419 00:22:48,520 --> 00:22:50,640 Speaker 2: but it has to be paired with sort of more 420 00:22:50,640 --> 00:22:54,679 Speaker 2: of a mindful practice as well. Yes, And then of 421 00:22:54,680 --> 00:22:57,280 Speaker 2: course I subscribed to the ball of fire theory, which 422 00:22:57,320 --> 00:22:59,560 Speaker 2: is my own, which is this earth. We're all going 423 00:22:59,600 --> 00:23:02,400 Speaker 2: to be a flaming ball of fire at some point, 424 00:23:02,600 --> 00:23:06,119 Speaker 2: So what does it all really matter? I know that 425 00:23:06,160 --> 00:23:09,359 Speaker 2: sounds nihilistic, but at the same time, it's like we 426 00:23:09,400 --> 00:23:12,879 Speaker 2: have all, we create, all of these problems you know, 427 00:23:13,040 --> 00:23:19,040 Speaker 2: that are catastrophized and actually based in no reality yet 428 00:23:19,040 --> 00:23:23,760 Speaker 2: because we're projecting, and that projection actually physically makes us 429 00:23:23,960 --> 00:23:28,480 Speaker 2: feel pain, whether it be short of breath, whatever sort 430 00:23:28,480 --> 00:23:31,000 Speaker 2: of you know, stress pains that you have and you're 431 00:23:31,440 --> 00:23:37,840 Speaker 2: hurting your body physically by creating total bullshit. Yeah, and 432 00:23:37,840 --> 00:23:40,840 Speaker 2: then when you think, well, why do I care so much? 433 00:23:41,359 --> 00:23:44,960 Speaker 2: You know, in a million years or whatever, but civilization 434 00:23:45,000 --> 00:23:49,480 Speaker 2: will no longer exist where you know, sometimes that makes 435 00:23:49,520 --> 00:23:52,240 Speaker 2: me feel better. But what is the breathing? What is 436 00:23:52,240 --> 00:23:56,680 Speaker 2: the actual practice like of this specific style of breathing? 437 00:23:57,680 --> 00:24:00,359 Speaker 3: Yeah, so I recommend learning it from an instructor. 438 00:24:00,160 --> 00:24:03,720 Speaker 2: Don't give you yeah, just a basic Yeah. 439 00:24:03,720 --> 00:24:06,520 Speaker 3: It starts with a series of different panama similar to 440 00:24:06,520 --> 00:24:08,440 Speaker 3: what you might learn in yoga class, but a little 441 00:24:08,440 --> 00:24:13,520 Speaker 3: bit more extensive. And then it has a rhythmic breathing 442 00:24:13,560 --> 00:24:16,040 Speaker 3: that goes in a certain pattern and it's guided, so 443 00:24:16,040 --> 00:24:17,879 Speaker 3: you're guided through it when you do the class. 444 00:24:18,160 --> 00:24:21,760 Speaker 2: M M. You could probably find it on YouTube right now, right, 445 00:24:21,840 --> 00:24:22,920 Speaker 2: I mean, so. 446 00:24:22,840 --> 00:24:24,920 Speaker 3: I wouldn't recommend YouTube because I don't know what they're 447 00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:27,200 Speaker 3: putting out there, but I would learn it from a 448 00:24:27,240 --> 00:24:30,400 Speaker 3: trained instructor. Just because you want to do it, learn 449 00:24:30,440 --> 00:24:32,920 Speaker 3: it the right way. That's at least what our research. 450 00:24:33,600 --> 00:24:36,760 Speaker 3: We've only done research on that. Like the actual you 451 00:24:36,800 --> 00:24:39,440 Speaker 3: can learn it through the nonprofit car Art of Living. 452 00:24:39,480 --> 00:24:41,760 Speaker 3: You could just it's like a zoom two or three 453 00:24:41,800 --> 00:24:43,199 Speaker 3: sessions in a row something like that. 454 00:24:43,440 --> 00:24:45,200 Speaker 2: Yeah, great, amazing. 455 00:24:45,840 --> 00:24:48,280 Speaker 3: Yeah, but I can teach you a really short breathing 456 00:24:48,320 --> 00:24:51,200 Speaker 3: practice that's like a mini mini practice that you could 457 00:24:51,240 --> 00:24:52,840 Speaker 3: just you know it. 458 00:24:53,320 --> 00:24:55,840 Speaker 2: I think this is important too, even for me. I 459 00:24:55,840 --> 00:24:58,480 Speaker 2: mean I would say selfishly want it, but you know, 460 00:24:58,760 --> 00:25:00,879 Speaker 2: I think a lot of people, obviously, as we know, 461 00:25:01,040 --> 00:25:03,040 Speaker 2: especially today, a lot of people are struggling with some 462 00:25:03,080 --> 00:25:05,960 Speaker 2: sort of a mental health situation, even if it's even 463 00:25:05,960 --> 00:25:08,640 Speaker 2: if it's minor, even if it is you know, anxiety 464 00:25:08,720 --> 00:25:10,680 Speaker 2: or a bit of depression or where am I? Who 465 00:25:10,680 --> 00:25:13,399 Speaker 2: am I? Why? Where all these things? And if you 466 00:25:13,440 --> 00:25:15,919 Speaker 2: can even just sort of have a mini practice or 467 00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:18,600 Speaker 2: something that can bring you back to center, even if 468 00:25:19,080 --> 00:25:23,080 Speaker 2: for that moment, so then the it's almost like you're 469 00:25:23,080 --> 00:25:29,359 Speaker 2: building confidence in yourself to regulate. It's not necessarily about 470 00:25:29,359 --> 00:25:32,160 Speaker 2: this idea that you are going to be regulated forever, 471 00:25:32,800 --> 00:25:35,760 Speaker 2: but when you sort of move off kilter a little bit, 472 00:25:36,000 --> 00:25:38,800 Speaker 2: you're like, Okay, I'm not going to spiral into this 473 00:25:38,960 --> 00:25:41,639 Speaker 2: whole of anxiety because I know I have a tool 474 00:25:42,200 --> 00:25:43,960 Speaker 2: to bring me back to center. 475 00:25:44,400 --> 00:25:49,160 Speaker 3: Yes, you know completely, absolutely, So you know I think 476 00:25:49,240 --> 00:25:51,399 Speaker 3: sometimes it helps to know the science behind it. So 477 00:25:51,440 --> 00:25:53,840 Speaker 3: when you when you inhale, your heart rate is increasing, 478 00:25:54,520 --> 00:25:59,159 Speaker 3: when you exhale its slowing down. So if you breathe, 479 00:25:59,240 --> 00:26:00,800 Speaker 3: do you want me to guide to your practice or just. 480 00:26:00,720 --> 00:26:03,680 Speaker 2: Discussed I'm going to do it right now. 481 00:26:03,800 --> 00:26:06,000 Speaker 3: Okay, So all right, so just close your eyes for 482 00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:08,440 Speaker 3: a moment, and I just want you to just tap 483 00:26:08,480 --> 00:26:10,800 Speaker 3: in and notice how you feel at this moment so 484 00:26:10,840 --> 00:26:13,960 Speaker 3: that you can see how you'll feel after. So you 485 00:26:13,960 --> 00:26:16,600 Speaker 3: can notice sort of how your body feels any areas 486 00:26:16,640 --> 00:26:21,040 Speaker 3: of looseness or tension. Can also notice, you know, your 487 00:26:21,080 --> 00:26:24,119 Speaker 3: thought traffic, so just notice if there's a lot of 488 00:26:24,160 --> 00:26:30,639 Speaker 3: thoughts coming in, are not so many, And then you 489 00:26:30,640 --> 00:26:35,359 Speaker 3: can also notice how you feel your emotional state. And 490 00:26:35,400 --> 00:26:37,720 Speaker 3: then we're gonna shift or breathing. So we're going to 491 00:26:37,760 --> 00:26:40,159 Speaker 3: breathe in and try to breathe through your nose and 492 00:26:40,200 --> 00:26:42,120 Speaker 3: have your hands on your lap palm spacing up because 493 00:26:42,160 --> 00:26:43,840 Speaker 3: it's just an easy You're going to be able to 494 00:26:43,880 --> 00:26:45,920 Speaker 3: breathe deeper that way. So we're going to breathe through 495 00:26:45,960 --> 00:26:53,800 Speaker 3: the nose. Breathe in two three four, hold and breathe 496 00:26:53,800 --> 00:27:00,919 Speaker 3: out two three four, five, six seven eight. Breathe in 497 00:27:01,880 --> 00:27:07,479 Speaker 3: two three four, fill your lungs, hold and breathe out 498 00:27:07,880 --> 00:27:14,840 Speaker 3: two three four, five, six seven eight. A couple more 499 00:27:14,880 --> 00:27:20,119 Speaker 3: times deep, breath in, fold at the top, and breathe 500 00:27:20,200 --> 00:27:23,680 Speaker 3: out for twice as long as you breathe in five 501 00:27:23,960 --> 00:27:30,479 Speaker 3: six seven eight deep, breath in two three four, holds 502 00:27:31,720 --> 00:27:39,080 Speaker 3: and breathe out two three four, five, six seven eight, 503 00:27:39,920 --> 00:27:42,520 Speaker 3: and do two more on your own, knowing that as 504 00:27:42,560 --> 00:27:46,280 Speaker 3: you're breathing out, because you're lengthening that exhale, you're starting 505 00:27:46,320 --> 00:27:48,399 Speaker 3: to slow down the heart rate. And as you do that, 506 00:27:48,480 --> 00:27:51,320 Speaker 3: you're tapping into your parasympathetic nervous system, which is the 507 00:27:51,359 --> 00:27:56,800 Speaker 3: calming response, the opposite of the fight or flight. And 508 00:27:56,880 --> 00:28:01,919 Speaker 3: after this next exhale, it can just relax, keep your 509 00:28:01,920 --> 00:28:04,840 Speaker 3: eyes closed, just notice any shifts and how you feel 510 00:28:09,320 --> 00:28:13,040 Speaker 3: and the traffic in your mind, and when you're ready 511 00:28:13,080 --> 00:28:14,040 Speaker 3: you can open your eyes. 512 00:28:15,440 --> 00:28:24,200 Speaker 2: Mm hmm, yeah, totally feel it. Yeah, yeah, one hundred percent, 513 00:28:24,440 --> 00:28:27,840 Speaker 2: I mean one million percent. This is sort of what 514 00:28:27,920 --> 00:28:31,320 Speaker 2: I do sometimes to go to sleep, you know, without 515 00:28:31,400 --> 00:28:37,000 Speaker 2: even really knowing it. Yeah, you just I don't. I mean, 516 00:28:37,040 --> 00:28:39,280 Speaker 2: if anything just feels like you've got more oxygen going 517 00:28:39,320 --> 00:28:42,800 Speaker 2: into your brain, it clearly feels a little clearer, a 518 00:28:42,800 --> 00:28:45,080 Speaker 2: little lighter, you know exactly. 519 00:28:45,440 --> 00:28:48,200 Speaker 3: Yeah, And that's you know, I just feel like that's 520 00:28:48,280 --> 00:28:50,640 Speaker 3: in our sovereignty, Like that's inner wealth. You know. We 521 00:28:50,680 --> 00:28:53,120 Speaker 3: talk about outer wealth. We talk about mental health. It's 522 00:28:53,160 --> 00:28:56,400 Speaker 3: like this is you know, we have the ability. It's free, 523 00:28:56,560 --> 00:29:00,760 Speaker 3: it's at our fingertips. It's ancient, you know, it's the 524 00:29:00,800 --> 00:29:02,520 Speaker 3: one thing we've been doing since we were born, and 525 00:29:02,560 --> 00:29:04,920 Speaker 3: we'll do till we die. Like if you're alive, you're breathing, 526 00:29:05,040 --> 00:29:07,040 Speaker 3: you know. Doesn't work with the veterans too. It was like, 527 00:29:07,200 --> 00:29:09,320 Speaker 3: it doesn't matter if you're a wounded wet veteran, if 528 00:29:09,360 --> 00:29:12,560 Speaker 3: you you know, are injured, but if you're alive, you're breathing. 529 00:29:13,040 --> 00:29:16,160 Speaker 2: Yeah. So explain the title because I love it, you know, 530 00:29:17,720 --> 00:29:20,600 Speaker 2: because it's freedom essentially, right, I mean, is that kind 531 00:29:20,640 --> 00:29:24,640 Speaker 2: of the idea behind it, or you know, explain that 532 00:29:24,680 --> 00:29:26,560 Speaker 2: title a little bit why, you. 533 00:29:26,600 --> 00:29:29,680 Speaker 3: Know, Yeah, And I think we often think about outer freedom, 534 00:29:29,760 --> 00:29:32,080 Speaker 3: like let me let me have, you know, what I 535 00:29:32,120 --> 00:29:34,120 Speaker 3: need to be sovereign on the outside, like let me 536 00:29:34,160 --> 00:29:37,760 Speaker 3: have my own house, in my own bank, accountant, this 537 00:29:37,800 --> 00:29:40,560 Speaker 3: and that. It's like, well, that's all fine and good 538 00:29:40,600 --> 00:29:44,719 Speaker 3: and it's great. But if on the inside you're feeling bound, 539 00:29:44,760 --> 00:29:49,160 Speaker 3: you you're not feeling free, then that's only part of 540 00:29:49,200 --> 00:29:51,720 Speaker 3: the you know, part of the equation. And on the 541 00:29:51,720 --> 00:29:55,320 Speaker 3: other hand, when you have that inner sovereignty, then you 542 00:29:55,440 --> 00:29:58,360 Speaker 3: have almost everything that you need, you know. And I 543 00:29:58,400 --> 00:30:01,479 Speaker 3: think for myself, I just saw how easy it is 544 00:30:01,520 --> 00:30:06,400 Speaker 3: for us to fall for thought patterns, behaviors, compulsions in 545 00:30:06,440 --> 00:30:08,200 Speaker 3: our life that are actually standing in the way of 546 00:30:08,240 --> 00:30:10,960 Speaker 3: our own freedom. I'll give you an example. So I 547 00:30:11,000 --> 00:30:13,840 Speaker 3: teach leaders at the Yale School of Management, teach executives 548 00:30:13,880 --> 00:30:17,400 Speaker 3: and Vijillie's talented people that come in and also some 549 00:30:17,440 --> 00:30:20,320 Speaker 3: of the students, and I see that the biggest thing 550 00:30:20,400 --> 00:30:25,160 Speaker 3: standing in their way is their relationship with themselves. For example, 551 00:30:25,200 --> 00:30:26,720 Speaker 3: if I ask an audience how many of you are 552 00:30:26,760 --> 00:30:29,560 Speaker 3: self critical, ninety five percent of them raise their hand. 553 00:30:30,000 --> 00:30:32,880 Speaker 3: If you look at it from a psychological perspective, self 554 00:30:32,920 --> 00:30:37,800 Speaker 3: criticism is self loathing. It's so powerful. It's self loathing 555 00:30:37,840 --> 00:30:39,600 Speaker 3: you know, and some people are like, whoa, this is 556 00:30:39,600 --> 00:30:42,400 Speaker 3: self critical, you know, essential for self improvement. It's like 557 00:30:43,280 --> 00:30:46,120 Speaker 3: self awareness is being like, oh I suck at statistics? 558 00:30:46,240 --> 00:30:50,000 Speaker 3: Is that self awareness? Right? But self criticism is beating 559 00:30:50,040 --> 00:30:53,200 Speaker 3: yourself up, is feeling shame, not feeling good enough. Eighty 560 00:30:53,240 --> 00:30:56,000 Speaker 3: percent of millennials endorse the idea I'm not good enough 561 00:30:56,040 --> 00:30:58,960 Speaker 3: with regards to almost every area of their life. If 562 00:30:58,960 --> 00:31:01,520 Speaker 3: you think about that, it's so heartbreaking. 563 00:31:02,040 --> 00:31:03,240 Speaker 2: What do you attribute that to? 564 00:31:04,320 --> 00:31:07,720 Speaker 3: I think I call it like viral, toxic viral programming, 565 00:31:07,760 --> 00:31:10,880 Speaker 3: Like it's it's runs in families, it runs in communities, 566 00:31:10,920 --> 00:31:17,080 Speaker 3: it runs in societies, it's running rampant, and it's something that, 567 00:31:17,160 --> 00:31:20,920 Speaker 3: when you look at the research, leads to anxiety, depression, burnout, 568 00:31:21,000 --> 00:31:23,840 Speaker 3: fear of failure, less willingness to try again, basically the 569 00:31:23,840 --> 00:31:27,800 Speaker 3: opposite of resilience. And yet if you have the so 570 00:31:27,840 --> 00:31:30,200 Speaker 3: if you are able to have a life affirming relationship 571 00:31:30,240 --> 00:31:33,640 Speaker 3: with yourself, like sky's the limit. So whenever I ask 572 00:31:33,720 --> 00:31:35,960 Speaker 3: that question to the audiences I speak to, there's one 573 00:31:36,040 --> 00:31:37,720 Speaker 3: or two people who are not self critical. And when 574 00:31:37,760 --> 00:31:41,280 Speaker 3: I when you look at those people, they're so freaking powerful. 575 00:31:41,520 --> 00:31:44,560 Speaker 3: They are so powerful it's like, Wow, you have a 576 00:31:44,640 --> 00:31:47,560 Speaker 3: life affirming relationship with yourself. It doesn't mean that they're 577 00:31:47,600 --> 00:31:50,920 Speaker 3: like ego driven or all self centered. It just means 578 00:31:50,960 --> 00:31:53,960 Speaker 3: that they have the kind of relationship with themselves that 579 00:31:54,000 --> 00:31:56,240 Speaker 3: they would have with their best friends. That's support it. 580 00:31:56,840 --> 00:31:59,719 Speaker 3: You know. I often think about that, like, how are 581 00:31:59,720 --> 00:32:01,520 Speaker 3: you going to show up on the battlefield of your life? 582 00:32:01,600 --> 00:32:04,160 Speaker 3: Are you going to show up, you know, are you 583 00:32:04,240 --> 00:32:06,360 Speaker 3: going to show up wounded because you kicked your way there? 584 00:32:06,440 --> 00:32:08,680 Speaker 3: Or are you going to show up brand spanking your 585 00:32:08,760 --> 00:32:10,560 Speaker 3: armor because you loved your way there? You know? 586 00:32:19,760 --> 00:32:22,800 Speaker 2: How would you sort of explain or tell the difference 587 00:32:22,840 --> 00:32:28,400 Speaker 2: between delusion and sort of just a strong sense of 588 00:32:28,440 --> 00:32:31,880 Speaker 2: self worth, Like you're talking about meaning, oh, I can 589 00:32:31,920 --> 00:32:34,720 Speaker 2: do nothing wrong because I have so much self love 590 00:32:34,920 --> 00:32:36,520 Speaker 2: that no I can do this. I can do that. 591 00:32:36,560 --> 00:32:40,520 Speaker 2: I have the ultimate compassion and forgiveness for myself. So 592 00:32:40,600 --> 00:32:42,560 Speaker 2: now I'm going to take advantage of that and just 593 00:32:42,600 --> 00:32:46,360 Speaker 2: sort of you know what I mean, Yeah, because I 594 00:32:46,360 --> 00:32:49,840 Speaker 2: feel like that probably could happen. 595 00:32:50,320 --> 00:32:53,160 Speaker 3: You know, it could happen. I mean I think that 596 00:32:53,520 --> 00:32:56,320 Speaker 3: oftentimes the people who've met who have that inner sovereignty 597 00:32:56,400 --> 00:32:59,760 Speaker 3: also very humble, you know, because when you're aware, when 598 00:32:59,800 --> 00:33:06,200 Speaker 3: you're deeply aware of yourself. So by that self compassionate 599 00:33:06,240 --> 00:33:08,800 Speaker 3: relationship with yourself is one in which you are you 600 00:33:08,840 --> 00:33:11,520 Speaker 3: care for yourself. Like I think the best analogy is 601 00:33:11,560 --> 00:33:13,480 Speaker 3: if you have kids. You have kids, right, and yeah, 602 00:33:14,000 --> 00:33:16,080 Speaker 3: you're aware of Oh, when was the last time the 603 00:33:16,160 --> 00:33:18,280 Speaker 3: kid ate? Or I mean now they're older, but when 604 00:33:18,280 --> 00:33:19,280 Speaker 3: there's when. 605 00:33:19,200 --> 00:33:21,280 Speaker 2: Less they still no matter what you're like, dude, what 606 00:33:21,360 --> 00:33:23,360 Speaker 2: did you eat? Did you eat? Why are you eating 607 00:33:23,720 --> 00:33:27,400 Speaker 2: total dog shit? You've just consumed eight billion calories of 608 00:33:27,560 --> 00:33:30,040 Speaker 2: ultra processed food. Do you realize how bad that is 609 00:33:30,080 --> 00:33:30,520 Speaker 2: for you? 610 00:33:30,600 --> 00:33:30,800 Speaker 3: Dad? 611 00:33:30,800 --> 00:33:33,520 Speaker 2: I'm fine, I'm young. Look at my muscles. I'm like, 612 00:33:33,520 --> 00:33:36,520 Speaker 2: I don't care about your muscle. So, yes, I still 613 00:33:36,560 --> 00:33:39,160 Speaker 2: have these conversations, right, you're. 614 00:33:39,040 --> 00:33:41,120 Speaker 3: Aware like when is that time they ate? When is 615 00:33:41,200 --> 00:33:43,520 Speaker 3: that time they slept? They get enough reast like you know, 616 00:33:43,640 --> 00:33:46,880 Speaker 3: And it's really just about when we have that nurturing 617 00:33:46,960 --> 00:33:49,840 Speaker 3: relationship with ourselves. And it also means being deeply honest 618 00:33:49,880 --> 00:33:54,840 Speaker 3: with yourself, you know. But the three tenets of self compassion, 619 00:33:55,000 --> 00:33:57,320 Speaker 3: the research shows one is to be able to treat 620 00:33:57,320 --> 00:33:59,320 Speaker 3: yourself like you would a friend. So I often asked 621 00:33:59,360 --> 00:34:01,720 Speaker 3: this question, like, what did you say to yourself the 622 00:34:01,760 --> 00:34:05,440 Speaker 3: last time you made a cringe worthy mistake? And people 623 00:34:05,480 --> 00:34:07,920 Speaker 3: will often say things like you're such an idiot or worse, 624 00:34:08,080 --> 00:34:10,319 Speaker 3: like really awful things. When you look at it, you're like, 625 00:34:10,320 --> 00:34:12,640 Speaker 3: this is so heartbreaking. This is how people talk to themselves. 626 00:34:12,880 --> 00:34:14,440 Speaker 3: But when I ask, okay, so what would you say 627 00:34:14,440 --> 00:34:17,400 Speaker 3: to your best friend who made the same mistake? They say, 628 00:34:17,760 --> 00:34:21,359 Speaker 3: You're okay, You've got this. Everyone makes mistakes, no big deal, 629 00:34:21,440 --> 00:34:24,600 Speaker 3: Like it's just so so kind, you know. And when 630 00:34:24,640 --> 00:34:28,480 Speaker 3: you think about it from a research perspective, those people 631 00:34:28,480 --> 00:34:31,040 Speaker 3: will have a more self compassionate relationship. They end up 632 00:34:31,080 --> 00:34:33,759 Speaker 3: with much better mental health, they have better relationships. If 633 00:34:33,800 --> 00:34:35,640 Speaker 3: you're hard on yourself, you're also hardest on the people 634 00:34:35,680 --> 00:34:38,080 Speaker 3: you love the most to unhurt the least. Yeah, they 635 00:34:38,120 --> 00:34:41,719 Speaker 3: have better sleep, they have better cognitive abilities. I mean, 636 00:34:41,719 --> 00:34:42,400 Speaker 3: the list goes on. 637 00:34:43,000 --> 00:34:45,840 Speaker 2: Sticking with that real quickly though, the science behind that, 638 00:34:45,920 --> 00:34:48,719 Speaker 2: because I love that, and I you know, you were 639 00:34:49,680 --> 00:34:52,080 Speaker 2: I think, and I don't. I'm not a scientist and 640 00:34:52,120 --> 00:34:55,480 Speaker 2: anyway whatsoever. But I assume that when you were having 641 00:34:55,520 --> 00:34:59,280 Speaker 2: these positive affirmations, when you have self compassion and self 642 00:34:59,280 --> 00:35:02,200 Speaker 2: forgiveness and you do speak to yourself like you are 643 00:35:02,600 --> 00:35:08,319 Speaker 2: your best friend. I'm assuming that even chemicals, dopamine, all 644 00:35:08,360 --> 00:35:12,839 Speaker 2: of these things are probably serotonin released because you are 645 00:35:12,880 --> 00:35:17,400 Speaker 2: having a healthy, positive relationship, right. I guess my question 646 00:35:17,520 --> 00:35:20,960 Speaker 2: is the science behind that when you all have self love? 647 00:35:21,080 --> 00:35:25,000 Speaker 2: Is there actual physical evidence behind your brain and the 648 00:35:25,040 --> 00:35:26,440 Speaker 2: chemistry that that goes on. 649 00:35:27,200 --> 00:35:29,279 Speaker 3: I love that you think like a scientist. I love 650 00:35:29,400 --> 00:35:32,600 Speaker 3: that you asked that, because what self compassion researchers have 651 00:35:33,080 --> 00:35:35,560 Speaker 3: positive is that when you have a more self compassionate 652 00:35:35,640 --> 00:35:38,400 Speaker 3: relationship with yourself, it's like you're in this. You create 653 00:35:38,400 --> 00:35:41,120 Speaker 3: a more nurturing relationship that puts you back in the parasympathetic. 654 00:35:42,080 --> 00:35:44,160 Speaker 3: Our conversation keeps going back to that, like it's all 655 00:35:44,200 --> 00:35:46,000 Speaker 3: about how do we come back to there? Because when 656 00:35:46,000 --> 00:35:48,359 Speaker 3: we're in parasympathetic, that's when we show up as our 657 00:35:48,360 --> 00:35:51,160 Speaker 3: most creative. We're the best decision makers, we're more emotionally intelligence, 658 00:35:51,160 --> 00:35:53,640 Speaker 3: we're healthier, we sleep better, you know, we have better 659 00:35:53,680 --> 00:35:56,239 Speaker 3: immune system, and the list goes on and again. So 660 00:35:56,800 --> 00:36:01,640 Speaker 3: you know, reclaiming your inner sovereignty. Yes, life has its stressors. 661 00:36:01,800 --> 00:36:05,800 Speaker 3: You're going to base financial stressors, relationship stressors, help stressors. 662 00:36:05,400 --> 00:36:08,400 Speaker 2: Whatever out of doubt. Yeah, I mean, yeah, of course. 663 00:36:08,560 --> 00:36:11,520 Speaker 3: Yeah, But let's not add to it. Let's not add 664 00:36:11,640 --> 00:36:14,520 Speaker 3: all the other layers that are preventing you from them 665 00:36:14,560 --> 00:36:18,680 Speaker 3: being as resilient as you possibly could be when those 666 00:36:18,680 --> 00:36:19,520 Speaker 3: situations arise. 667 00:36:20,040 --> 00:36:22,520 Speaker 2: So let's go through an example. Okay, let's just take 668 00:36:22,560 --> 00:36:26,320 Speaker 2: finances for a second. Okay, I'm I, I don't know 669 00:36:26,360 --> 00:36:28,440 Speaker 2: if I want to make my rent and I'm having 670 00:36:28,440 --> 00:36:30,759 Speaker 2: the stress. You know, kids are healthy, everything's good, but 671 00:36:30,800 --> 00:36:34,520 Speaker 2: holy fuck, how do you sort of reframe that in 672 00:36:34,719 --> 00:36:39,200 Speaker 2: order to you know, have better self talk when the 673 00:36:39,239 --> 00:36:41,520 Speaker 2: reality is like I don't know if I'm going to 674 00:36:41,520 --> 00:36:44,000 Speaker 2: make rent a real life problem, you know. 675 00:36:45,280 --> 00:36:51,279 Speaker 3: Yeah, So in those situations, which are difficult situations, if 676 00:36:51,320 --> 00:36:53,800 Speaker 3: you can bring your own mind back to a place 677 00:36:53,960 --> 00:36:57,560 Speaker 3: of greater peace in your nervous system, back to that place, 678 00:36:57,600 --> 00:36:59,840 Speaker 3: you're able to think more clearly. So back to the 679 00:37:00,160 --> 00:37:02,000 Speaker 3: sort of idea we were talking about before. You know, 680 00:37:02,040 --> 00:37:04,719 Speaker 3: when do we get our best ideas or able to 681 00:37:04,920 --> 00:37:08,000 Speaker 3: ability to think clearly, It's when our nervous system is 682 00:37:08,040 --> 00:37:13,600 Speaker 3: more relaxed. And if you think about like when for yourself, 683 00:37:13,640 --> 00:37:15,359 Speaker 3: if you're working on a problem or trying to think 684 00:37:15,400 --> 00:37:16,840 Speaker 3: of a solution to something. When do you come up 685 00:37:16,840 --> 00:37:17,560 Speaker 3: with your best. 686 00:37:17,360 --> 00:37:21,560 Speaker 2: Ideas mm hmm, Yeah, when you least expect it, Honestly, 687 00:37:21,600 --> 00:37:24,040 Speaker 2: when you're at your most sort of even state. 688 00:37:24,239 --> 00:37:26,439 Speaker 3: Yeah, like what kind of activities. 689 00:37:27,719 --> 00:37:31,319 Speaker 2: Again, running? I mean my brain rolls when I'm sort 690 00:37:31,360 --> 00:37:36,200 Speaker 2: of in an exercise mode, when I am sort of daydreaming. 691 00:37:36,320 --> 00:37:39,960 Speaker 2: You know, I have a very creative brain. I probably 692 00:37:40,000 --> 00:37:44,760 Speaker 2: have some sort of ADHD, but in the best possible way, 693 00:37:45,239 --> 00:37:47,880 Speaker 2: you know, because it allows me to sort of relax 694 00:37:47,920 --> 00:37:50,560 Speaker 2: into myself and my brain will just wander and not 695 00:37:50,640 --> 00:37:53,200 Speaker 2: think about all of these sort of things I need 696 00:37:53,239 --> 00:37:54,680 Speaker 2: to accomplish in that day. 697 00:37:55,120 --> 00:37:58,800 Speaker 3: Yes, you know exactly. So when you go in those spaces, 698 00:37:58,840 --> 00:38:01,919 Speaker 3: your brain is an alpha wave mode, which means, which 699 00:38:02,000 --> 00:38:04,200 Speaker 3: research has shown, is when we're most likely to get 700 00:38:04,200 --> 00:38:07,080 Speaker 3: our aha moments of insight or innovation, like is happening 701 00:38:07,120 --> 00:38:10,960 Speaker 3: for you? And those moments come not when you're in 702 00:38:10,960 --> 00:38:13,520 Speaker 3: this highly stressed or focused mode, but when you are 703 00:38:13,960 --> 00:38:15,359 Speaker 3: allowing your mind to be in this You can think 704 00:38:15,360 --> 00:38:16,759 Speaker 3: of it as a meditative state of mind. 705 00:38:16,840 --> 00:38:17,840 Speaker 2: Mm hmm, exactly. 706 00:38:18,000 --> 00:38:21,800 Speaker 3: Yeah, And in that moment you so the outer stresses 707 00:38:21,840 --> 00:38:25,120 Speaker 3: are there, but and yet when you're able to do things, 708 00:38:25,120 --> 00:38:28,680 Speaker 3: whether it's breathing, meditation, going in nature and calm yourself down. 709 00:38:28,680 --> 00:38:31,399 Speaker 3: You're able to think more clearly, You're able to make 710 00:38:31,440 --> 00:38:34,320 Speaker 3: better decisions. You're able to come up with innovative solutions 711 00:38:34,320 --> 00:38:38,080 Speaker 3: you wouldn't have come up with before. And I always think, gosh, 712 00:38:38,320 --> 00:38:41,600 Speaker 3: if we keep always stay hooked in this high adrenaline 713 00:38:41,680 --> 00:38:46,560 Speaker 3: mode no matter what, we are preventing ourselves from coming 714 00:38:46,640 --> 00:38:49,279 Speaker 3: up with the most innovative solutions that we have and 715 00:38:49,320 --> 00:38:52,719 Speaker 3: reclaiming your sovereignty with regards. So that is engaging in 716 00:38:52,760 --> 00:38:55,480 Speaker 3: some of these practices that are allowing you or to 717 00:38:55,560 --> 00:38:58,160 Speaker 3: do that. You know, and people will roll over in 718 00:38:58,160 --> 00:38:59,640 Speaker 3: the morning and the first thing they look at is 719 00:38:59,640 --> 00:39:02,520 Speaker 3: their phone. It's like every moment that you're highly focused, 720 00:39:02,520 --> 00:39:05,319 Speaker 3: you're taking away from your ability to come up with 721 00:39:05,360 --> 00:39:08,160 Speaker 3: those innovative solutions that would otherwise arise in the early 722 00:39:08,239 --> 00:39:10,040 Speaker 3: morning hours when maybe things are slower. 723 00:39:10,320 --> 00:39:14,120 Speaker 2: Yeah, everyone does that. I fucking do it too. It's 724 00:39:14,160 --> 00:39:18,000 Speaker 2: like I get up, grab the phone. I mean, it's horrible. 725 00:39:19,560 --> 00:39:22,080 Speaker 3: It's interesting. See how like in the positive sense, we 726 00:39:22,080 --> 00:39:24,399 Speaker 3: can think of it as let me carve out some time, 727 00:39:24,440 --> 00:39:26,560 Speaker 3: which you do when you're running. It sounds like when 728 00:39:26,560 --> 00:39:29,000 Speaker 3: you're running, you're not also looking at your phone or 729 00:39:29,040 --> 00:39:33,399 Speaker 3: listening to something necessarily. Yeah, so let me make sure 730 00:39:33,440 --> 00:39:35,840 Speaker 3: that in my day I have these moments in which 731 00:39:35,920 --> 00:39:38,640 Speaker 3: I am allowing for the alpha wave mode in my brain, 732 00:39:38,719 --> 00:39:41,160 Speaker 3: you know, at whatever time. And if you think about it, 733 00:39:41,160 --> 00:39:44,560 Speaker 3: that's why kids are so innovative, they're so genius. And 734 00:39:44,600 --> 00:39:47,399 Speaker 3: the reason is because they are in that space a lot, 735 00:39:47,960 --> 00:39:49,960 Speaker 3: you know, unless you give an iPad at ah two 736 00:39:50,000 --> 00:39:51,520 Speaker 3: you know what I mean, And they're constantly in there. 737 00:39:51,719 --> 00:39:54,120 Speaker 3: But otherwise, like my kids are constantly pulling all this 738 00:39:54,120 --> 00:39:56,760 Speaker 3: stuff out of the recycling bent to build stuff, you know. Yeah, 739 00:39:56,800 --> 00:39:58,400 Speaker 3: and right my last night, my kid is like, I 740 00:39:58,440 --> 00:39:59,520 Speaker 3: want to write I'm running a book. 741 00:39:59,520 --> 00:39:59,680 Speaker 2: Mom. 742 00:39:59,719 --> 00:40:01,799 Speaker 3: I get back to my I got to write this book. 743 00:40:01,880 --> 00:40:05,879 Speaker 3: And you know, sky's the limit and that's all of 744 00:40:05,920 --> 00:40:06,799 Speaker 3: our potential. 745 00:40:07,400 --> 00:40:09,200 Speaker 2: No, I know what it almost feels like too, because 746 00:40:09,239 --> 00:40:12,560 Speaker 2: you're a parent, right, So it's like we have this 747 00:40:12,760 --> 00:40:20,320 Speaker 2: next generation that is honestly probably first or second generation 748 00:40:20,440 --> 00:40:24,920 Speaker 2: that is truly growing up on the technology that is today, 749 00:40:25,320 --> 00:40:30,399 Speaker 2: you know, and how to sort of maintain that that 750 00:40:30,440 --> 00:40:34,160 Speaker 2: creativity or to keep that that creativity going now, not 751 00:40:34,320 --> 00:40:37,759 Speaker 2: to say that it's all bad, meaning technology is definitely 752 00:40:38,760 --> 00:40:41,440 Speaker 2: you know, my kids are more entrepreneurial. They're like, Okay, 753 00:40:41,680 --> 00:40:43,439 Speaker 2: how do I sell things? I want to make money? 754 00:40:43,520 --> 00:40:46,160 Speaker 2: What if I create this online sort of store and 755 00:40:46,239 --> 00:40:48,399 Speaker 2: put some of my old stuff on there. I mean, 756 00:40:48,960 --> 00:40:51,600 Speaker 2: you know, there is the positive elements to that, but 757 00:40:51,680 --> 00:40:56,960 Speaker 2: as far as sort of you know, maintaining or you know, 758 00:40:57,120 --> 00:41:01,800 Speaker 2: keeping that primal creativity that has to do with building 759 00:41:02,080 --> 00:41:04,399 Speaker 2: you know that, you know, what if I do this 760 00:41:04,480 --> 00:41:07,839 Speaker 2: and put this together, you know, how do we how 761 00:41:07,880 --> 00:41:11,200 Speaker 2: do we keep that? Is it just by taking this 762 00:41:11,320 --> 00:41:14,080 Speaker 2: away from them and saying go outside? You know? 763 00:41:14,960 --> 00:41:16,520 Speaker 3: I mean in a way, That's why I've been writing 764 00:41:16,520 --> 00:41:18,480 Speaker 3: about this, because it's like a cry for like our 765 00:41:18,560 --> 00:41:21,520 Speaker 3: planet in many ways of sinking ship. It's like, we 766 00:41:21,560 --> 00:41:25,200 Speaker 3: need innovation, we need creativity, We need brilliant solutions, and 767 00:41:25,239 --> 00:41:26,840 Speaker 3: we can have them and we can get them, and 768 00:41:27,000 --> 00:41:31,359 Speaker 3: our next generation is definitely gonna be doing some of that. 769 00:41:31,520 --> 00:41:34,960 Speaker 3: And it's that's having that awareness because what the research 770 00:41:34,960 --> 00:41:38,399 Speaker 3: shows that is in the last twenty years, creativity kids, 771 00:41:38,440 --> 00:41:41,680 Speaker 3: creativity has been plummeting. It's not just because of technology, 772 00:41:41,760 --> 00:41:44,480 Speaker 3: because prior to like ten years ago, you know, there's 773 00:41:44,520 --> 00:41:47,600 Speaker 3: certain amount of generations that didn't have technology right at 774 00:41:47,640 --> 00:41:50,280 Speaker 3: their fingertips all the time. But it was also because 775 00:41:50,280 --> 00:41:53,800 Speaker 3: in school we're prioritizing logic and reason and so forth, 776 00:41:54,080 --> 00:41:55,600 Speaker 3: which is great, like you need to be able to 777 00:41:55,640 --> 00:42:01,120 Speaker 3: think and write clearly, but we have not and allowed 778 00:42:01,560 --> 00:42:05,160 Speaker 3: there to be emphasis also on the other modalities of thinking. 779 00:42:05,400 --> 00:42:07,440 Speaker 3: In fact, I have a whole chapter on intuition in 780 00:42:07,480 --> 00:42:09,520 Speaker 3: my book because we could think of intuition. 781 00:42:09,920 --> 00:42:13,279 Speaker 2: Yes, intuition, you reminded me, that's another thing I wanted 782 00:42:13,280 --> 00:42:15,760 Speaker 2: to hit upon before we finish this intuition. 783 00:42:16,040 --> 00:42:19,520 Speaker 3: Yeah, so keep going, Well, there's this thought, oh, intuition's 784 00:42:19,560 --> 00:42:21,839 Speaker 3: magical things like well, actually, you know, if you look 785 00:42:21,840 --> 00:42:26,400 Speaker 3: at the data, it's these aha moments are also you 786 00:42:26,400 --> 00:42:30,680 Speaker 3: could think of as moments of intuition or insight. And 787 00:42:31,120 --> 00:42:33,560 Speaker 3: you know, like Albert Einstein, he knew how to tap 788 00:42:33,560 --> 00:42:36,400 Speaker 3: into this. He would go and listen to or play 789 00:42:36,440 --> 00:42:39,040 Speaker 3: Mozart and he knew that was and he would see 790 00:42:39,440 --> 00:42:43,400 Speaker 3: he would say intuition is a maybe misquoting, but it's 791 00:42:43,400 --> 00:42:47,960 Speaker 3: like intuition is a divine gift and reason is a 792 00:42:48,000 --> 00:42:50,920 Speaker 3: faithful servant. We've created a society where we honor the 793 00:42:51,000 --> 00:42:54,200 Speaker 3: servant and have thrown away the gift. So for him, 794 00:42:54,719 --> 00:42:57,799 Speaker 3: he would get these insights like downloads insights and then 795 00:42:57,840 --> 00:42:59,480 Speaker 3: he would go and work on it and write the 796 00:42:59,480 --> 00:43:02,680 Speaker 3: paper or you know, do the study or whatever. But 797 00:43:03,600 --> 00:43:08,120 Speaker 3: in our society we've just we've completely not made room 798 00:43:08,360 --> 00:43:11,239 Speaker 3: even in education for those moments of insight. So the 799 00:43:11,280 --> 00:43:14,000 Speaker 3: little little kids still have oftentimes they'll come up with 800 00:43:14,040 --> 00:43:17,080 Speaker 3: something creative, but as of you know, eleven, twelve thirteen, 801 00:43:17,280 --> 00:43:20,920 Speaker 3: if you're not prioritizing that or giving kids the ability 802 00:43:20,920 --> 00:43:22,920 Speaker 3: to be in that day dreaming mode. I mean, I 803 00:43:22,960 --> 00:43:24,879 Speaker 3: remember as a kid just sitting in the bus going 804 00:43:24,920 --> 00:43:27,480 Speaker 3: home and just daydreaming, what else is I going to do? 805 00:43:27,680 --> 00:43:27,799 Speaker 2: Right? 806 00:43:27,960 --> 00:43:30,360 Speaker 3: But that's when you're also coming up with your brain 807 00:43:30,400 --> 00:43:32,760 Speaker 3: is an active problem solving mode when you think you're idle. 808 00:43:32,800 --> 00:43:35,919 Speaker 3: And I think in the US particular, our culture here 809 00:43:36,120 --> 00:43:42,799 Speaker 3: values doing doing doing, but in that process we devalue 810 00:43:42,840 --> 00:43:46,520 Speaker 3: those moments. You know, most Americans have very little vacation 811 00:43:46,680 --> 00:43:48,680 Speaker 3: and they don't even take it, and of those who 812 00:43:48,719 --> 00:43:50,560 Speaker 3: do take it, they're checking their email, so it's just 813 00:43:50,600 --> 00:43:53,880 Speaker 3: like checking their work email, you know. But in so doing, 814 00:43:53,960 --> 00:43:57,319 Speaker 3: we have stopped ourselves from being as innovative as we 815 00:43:57,360 --> 00:43:57,680 Speaker 3: could be. 816 00:44:00,040 --> 00:44:08,080 Speaker 2: Yeah, So I want to get back to intuition, but 817 00:44:08,120 --> 00:44:10,120 Speaker 2: first I wanted to hit upon sort of India China 818 00:44:10,160 --> 00:44:11,600 Speaker 2: what you talked about in the very beginning, because I 819 00:44:11,640 --> 00:44:13,400 Speaker 2: went to India when I was nineteen years old. I 820 00:44:13,400 --> 00:44:16,520 Speaker 2: was there for three weeks, and you know, it was 821 00:44:16,560 --> 00:44:20,680 Speaker 2: definitely life altering in the sense of sort of being, 822 00:44:20,840 --> 00:44:23,960 Speaker 2: you know, a young man and seeing you know, a 823 00:44:24,000 --> 00:44:28,600 Speaker 2: different culture that I had never experienced before, and coming 824 00:44:28,640 --> 00:44:33,240 Speaker 2: back with this sense of wow. Like you said, these 825 00:44:33,800 --> 00:44:36,799 Speaker 2: people a lot of them have absolutely nothing, but the 826 00:44:37,000 --> 00:44:41,040 Speaker 2: joy and sort of the happiness, you know, was just 827 00:44:41,080 --> 00:44:44,520 Speaker 2: you know, penetrating. I was like, whoa, what do you 828 00:44:44,640 --> 00:44:49,240 Speaker 2: attribute that to from a cultural standpoint, from a scientific standpoint, 829 00:44:49,320 --> 00:44:52,360 Speaker 2: and when you're talking about China, when you're talking about India, 830 00:44:52,440 --> 00:44:55,160 Speaker 2: and then you're sort of relating that to the US, 831 00:44:55,200 --> 00:44:58,279 Speaker 2: where everything is like consume, consume, consume. How do we 832 00:44:58,400 --> 00:44:59,080 Speaker 2: breach the top? 833 00:45:00,160 --> 00:45:03,440 Speaker 3: They may not, especially if you see that the poorer communities, 834 00:45:03,480 --> 00:45:08,000 Speaker 3: they may not have any much materially, but they have 835 00:45:08,160 --> 00:45:12,480 Speaker 3: each other community. We see that also from a cultural 836 00:45:12,960 --> 00:45:17,280 Speaker 3: research perspective in lower socioeconomic status groups in the US, 837 00:45:17,680 --> 00:45:20,319 Speaker 3: is that the lower socioeconomic status, the more connected to 838 00:45:20,360 --> 00:45:24,279 Speaker 3: one another. But there's the community as that. There's also 839 00:45:24,320 --> 00:45:26,640 Speaker 3: the gratitude and I think see that a lot in India, 840 00:45:26,719 --> 00:45:29,040 Speaker 3: Like they get a new car and they'll like do 841 00:45:29,080 --> 00:45:31,279 Speaker 3: a pooja in it and a prayer of gratitude in 842 00:45:31,320 --> 00:45:33,239 Speaker 3: the car. Like there's I could be one day a 843 00:45:33,320 --> 00:45:36,400 Speaker 3: year where they like celebrate their cars and their vehicles 844 00:45:36,400 --> 00:45:40,680 Speaker 3: and there's just this gratitude for everything that research shows 845 00:45:40,840 --> 00:45:44,239 Speaker 3: gratitude is one of the best kept secrets to happiness 846 00:45:44,320 --> 00:45:48,799 Speaker 3: because especially you know, in our society, research shows that 847 00:45:49,080 --> 00:45:51,680 Speaker 3: three times more positive things than negative things happen to 848 00:45:51,760 --> 00:45:53,600 Speaker 3: us every day. But what are we focusing on? Oh 849 00:45:53,640 --> 00:45:56,479 Speaker 3: that nasty email I got or oh I didn't sleep 850 00:45:56,520 --> 00:45:58,640 Speaker 3: well last night? Well, do you have a roof over 851 00:45:58,680 --> 00:46:00,960 Speaker 3: your head? Do you have a meal? Like are you 852 00:46:01,760 --> 00:46:04,080 Speaker 3: able to engage with the world and you know whatever, 853 00:46:04,120 --> 00:46:07,040 Speaker 3: and some way you're doing really really well, but we can't. 854 00:46:07,440 --> 00:46:09,160 Speaker 3: And that was how it was in France. You know, 855 00:46:09,200 --> 00:46:11,480 Speaker 3: it was like someone was telling me this the other day. 856 00:46:11,480 --> 00:46:13,799 Speaker 3: It's like in France, everybody lives in heaven but thinks 857 00:46:13,840 --> 00:46:15,560 Speaker 3: they live in hell. Well, if you think you live 858 00:46:15,560 --> 00:46:17,279 Speaker 3: in hell, doesn't matter where you live, you know what 859 00:46:17,280 --> 00:46:20,319 Speaker 3: I mean. Yeah, And I was there's a woman that 860 00:46:20,400 --> 00:46:23,600 Speaker 3: I talk about in my book called Nazarene and Sheik, 861 00:46:23,600 --> 00:46:28,400 Speaker 3: who's incredible. She she grew up in the sweatshop sweatshops 862 00:46:28,400 --> 00:46:32,360 Speaker 3: of Katmandus, who's the child slave, so really intense story. Anyway, 863 00:46:32,440 --> 00:46:34,200 Speaker 3: she lives in the US now and I have the 864 00:46:34,200 --> 00:46:36,040 Speaker 3: privilege of meeting her the other day and I was 865 00:46:36,120 --> 00:46:37,880 Speaker 3: talking to her and she's like, yeah, I'm she's just 866 00:46:37,880 --> 00:46:41,000 Speaker 3: like a Nepal they have nothing, but there's so much joy. 867 00:46:41,000 --> 00:46:42,840 Speaker 3: And she's like, come here and people have everything, but 868 00:46:42,880 --> 00:46:46,320 Speaker 3: they're empty inside. And it's profound to hear that from her. 869 00:46:47,760 --> 00:46:50,080 Speaker 3: So yeah, So there's I think there's the community aspect, 870 00:46:50,120 --> 00:46:54,560 Speaker 3: and there's this a gratitude aspect. And I think India 871 00:46:54,600 --> 00:46:56,319 Speaker 3: and also in China I saw this. They have this 872 00:46:56,480 --> 00:47:02,640 Speaker 3: long tradition millennia of about this inner sovereignty aspect. And 873 00:47:02,800 --> 00:47:06,319 Speaker 3: here we're like, like you said, just buy this, look 874 00:47:06,400 --> 00:47:08,720 Speaker 3: like this, do this, whatever, and then you'll be happy. 875 00:47:08,760 --> 00:47:12,040 Speaker 3: And it's like I was just actually touring some houses 876 00:47:12,160 --> 00:47:14,799 Speaker 3: last week because I'm thinking of moving somewhere, and I 877 00:47:14,920 --> 00:47:17,160 Speaker 3: walked through the houses, these really nice houses, and I 878 00:47:17,200 --> 00:47:20,840 Speaker 3: was like, wow, everything is perfect, like everything is decorated perfectly. 879 00:47:20,880 --> 00:47:23,879 Speaker 3: And I got me wondering, like, here, we decorate our 880 00:47:23,880 --> 00:47:28,440 Speaker 3: houses perfectly, what about the inner what about the inner mansion? 881 00:47:28,800 --> 00:47:31,560 Speaker 3: What's that look like? You know, we don't think about that. 882 00:47:31,719 --> 00:47:33,840 Speaker 3: We don't talk about wisdom in our society. That's not 883 00:47:33,920 --> 00:47:37,719 Speaker 3: something that's sexy. It's like, oh what, But you know 884 00:47:37,760 --> 00:47:40,399 Speaker 3: in other cultures that's always been part of the it's 885 00:47:40,400 --> 00:47:41,840 Speaker 3: always been part of the conversation. 886 00:47:42,600 --> 00:47:45,160 Speaker 2: Yeah, I love that. That's then internew book like your 887 00:47:45,200 --> 00:47:51,279 Speaker 2: inner mansion. That's it. No, it's so true. I mean 888 00:47:51,280 --> 00:47:54,319 Speaker 2: it is so true. I mean it's funny because you 889 00:47:54,400 --> 00:47:57,400 Speaker 2: hear about it all the time. I mean it's nothing new, Like, 890 00:47:57,480 --> 00:47:59,680 Speaker 2: you know, money can't buy you happiness all these things. 891 00:47:59,680 --> 00:48:02,800 Speaker 2: But when you're attaching sort of you know, actual science 892 00:48:02,840 --> 00:48:06,680 Speaker 2: to it is what my mom was as achieved and 893 00:48:06,719 --> 00:48:09,240 Speaker 2: has been trying to achieve for twenty years with children especially, 894 00:48:09,880 --> 00:48:12,279 Speaker 2: you know, it just it validates it a little more 895 00:48:12,280 --> 00:48:14,680 Speaker 2: over because you know, people are less apt to sort 896 00:48:14,680 --> 00:48:18,600 Speaker 2: of it's like, oh, what is this woo woo crap basically, 897 00:48:18,880 --> 00:48:21,080 Speaker 2: But when you're like, no, look, look, here's a picture 898 00:48:21,120 --> 00:48:24,920 Speaker 2: of your brain. And here's what happens when you have gratitude. 899 00:48:24,920 --> 00:48:28,080 Speaker 2: Here's what happens when you have self compassion and you 900 00:48:28,120 --> 00:48:32,360 Speaker 2: can forgive yourself and you are creating that inner mansion. 901 00:48:32,640 --> 00:48:35,000 Speaker 2: You know, here's an actual study. And then on the 902 00:48:35,000 --> 00:48:37,439 Speaker 2: flip side of it, here's what happens to your brain 903 00:48:37,480 --> 00:48:41,040 Speaker 2: when you self loath and self hate and you're just 904 00:48:41,080 --> 00:48:45,759 Speaker 2: living in this state of negativity and selfishness and selfishness. 905 00:48:45,760 --> 00:48:49,200 Speaker 2: And when you can see that scientifically, how can it 906 00:48:49,239 --> 00:48:51,240 Speaker 2: not sort of bring on a change? And it feels 907 00:48:51,360 --> 00:48:55,080 Speaker 2: like mindfulness, meditation, you know, it feels like there is 908 00:48:55,120 --> 00:48:57,920 Speaker 2: a shift. But there's three hundred plus million people in 909 00:48:57,920 --> 00:48:59,399 Speaker 2: this country, so it's going to be hard to shift 910 00:48:59,400 --> 00:49:01,879 Speaker 2: the whole country. But yeah, one at a time. 911 00:49:03,200 --> 00:49:07,480 Speaker 3: We're getting spent these messages though. This like every marketing 912 00:49:07,520 --> 00:49:09,560 Speaker 3: agent in the world who's directed at your segment of 913 00:49:09,600 --> 00:49:11,799 Speaker 3: the population is hitting you home with like, look like this, 914 00:49:11,880 --> 00:49:15,080 Speaker 3: buy this, achieve this, do this, become wealthy, become powerful, 915 00:49:15,120 --> 00:49:18,000 Speaker 3: become famous, become whatever the things, and it's like and 916 00:49:18,040 --> 00:49:21,160 Speaker 3: so that goes into the mindset. But I was talking 917 00:49:21,160 --> 00:49:22,680 Speaker 3: to this seventeen year old the other day who's been 918 00:49:22,719 --> 00:49:26,160 Speaker 3: meditating since he's eight. I said, hey, do you feel 919 00:49:26,160 --> 00:49:29,680 Speaker 3: different from your from your friends? And he's like it's like, yeah, 920 00:49:29,760 --> 00:49:31,760 Speaker 3: you know, I kind of see through stuff. My friends 921 00:49:31,800 --> 00:49:35,120 Speaker 3: they want big car, big house. And I'm like, he's like, 922 00:49:35,400 --> 00:49:38,160 Speaker 3: I'm just really interested in like science, and like he's 923 00:49:38,200 --> 00:49:41,200 Speaker 3: just interested in like he's curious. But he's like he's 924 00:49:41,239 --> 00:49:42,959 Speaker 3: like I kind of see through things. And he wasn't. 925 00:49:43,200 --> 00:49:45,799 Speaker 3: He was humble, quiet, he wasn't like showing off. But 926 00:49:45,840 --> 00:49:47,880 Speaker 3: it was like, Wow, if we can help people like 927 00:49:47,920 --> 00:49:51,719 Speaker 3: your mom, like we can help kids see through all that, 928 00:49:51,840 --> 00:49:55,080 Speaker 3: you know. Actually, in my in my book, I interviewed 929 00:49:55,160 --> 00:49:59,719 Speaker 3: a colonel in the Air Force whose job it was 930 00:50:00,120 --> 00:50:04,239 Speaker 3: to brainwash the enemy. Okay, so he was brainwashing the 931 00:50:04,280 --> 00:50:07,600 Speaker 3: tet that I'm through messaging and so forth, and so 932 00:50:07,640 --> 00:50:10,279 Speaker 3: I said, WHOA, Like, how do you sort of walk 933 00:50:10,320 --> 00:50:12,880 Speaker 3: around your world, you know, because you're someone who crafts 934 00:50:12,880 --> 00:50:17,040 Speaker 3: messaging and manipulate people's minds. He's like, oh, I always 935 00:50:17,040 --> 00:50:18,880 Speaker 3: look for intent. And I was like, well, how do 936 00:50:18,920 --> 00:50:20,520 Speaker 3: you teach your kids that? And he's like, well, when 937 00:50:20,560 --> 00:50:22,360 Speaker 3: we go through the grocery aisle and we get to that, 938 00:50:22,520 --> 00:50:25,480 Speaker 3: like if the kid wants something like say unhealthy cereal. 939 00:50:25,520 --> 00:50:26,800 Speaker 3: I'll be like, oh, why do you want that? And 940 00:50:26,800 --> 00:50:28,640 Speaker 3: then the kid'll be like, because look at the box 941 00:50:28,760 --> 00:50:31,440 Speaker 3: is like so cute and stand all these little characters 942 00:50:31,440 --> 00:50:33,120 Speaker 3: on it, and he's like, oh yeah, why do you 943 00:50:33,120 --> 00:50:34,080 Speaker 3: think that's like that? 944 00:50:34,719 --> 00:50:34,919 Speaker 2: Oh? 945 00:50:34,960 --> 00:50:38,040 Speaker 3: Because it's fun makes me fun. I want to play 946 00:50:38,040 --> 00:50:39,560 Speaker 3: with the box, I want to look at it. And 947 00:50:39,560 --> 00:50:40,319 Speaker 3: it's like, okay, so what. 948 00:50:40,400 --> 00:50:40,799 Speaker 2: Do you think. 949 00:50:40,880 --> 00:50:42,279 Speaker 3: Why do you think they made a box like that 950 00:50:42,880 --> 00:50:45,320 Speaker 3: so kids would like it? You know, it's like training 951 00:50:45,360 --> 00:50:48,200 Speaker 3: the kid to see through stuff. I thought that was 952 00:50:48,239 --> 00:50:48,759 Speaker 3: pretty cool. 953 00:50:48,960 --> 00:50:51,120 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean I'm in the middle 954 00:50:51,160 --> 00:50:51,440 Speaker 2: of it. 955 00:50:51,520 --> 00:50:51,719 Speaker 1: You know. 956 00:50:51,880 --> 00:50:54,880 Speaker 2: Again, we live in this TikTok culture where it is 957 00:50:54,960 --> 00:50:58,280 Speaker 2: literally creating clones. I see my child on the street 958 00:50:58,320 --> 00:51:00,440 Speaker 2: eighty times a day with the same hair and the 959 00:51:00,480 --> 00:51:02,680 Speaker 2: pants and the whole thing. I'm like, holy shit. I 960 00:51:02,719 --> 00:51:06,880 Speaker 2: mean it's nutty. And then all the trends, All of 961 00:51:06,920 --> 00:51:09,520 Speaker 2: a sudden, everyone wants cologne. All of a sudden, everyone 962 00:51:09,600 --> 00:51:13,360 Speaker 2: wants this. I mean, it's unbelievable to see how it 963 00:51:13,520 --> 00:51:18,280 Speaker 2: happens in a large group setting. It's not an individual choice. 964 00:51:18,320 --> 00:51:22,359 Speaker 2: It's just following these trends that are being fed to you. 965 00:51:22,520 --> 00:51:27,840 Speaker 2: Through social media, and it's a little bit scary. You know, 966 00:51:27,880 --> 00:51:30,839 Speaker 2: it's like, well, individuates yourself, you know, maybe get a 967 00:51:30,840 --> 00:51:33,359 Speaker 2: different haircut. But it's like Dad, like you don't get it. 968 00:51:34,680 --> 00:51:36,919 Speaker 2: And then again it's about sort of oh, I want 969 00:51:36,920 --> 00:51:42,040 Speaker 2: to wear these clothes or you know, it's a definite material, 970 00:51:42,680 --> 00:51:47,160 Speaker 2: materialistic sort of world that we're living in right now. 971 00:51:47,200 --> 00:51:50,200 Speaker 2: And it's I always give give them shit about it, 972 00:51:50,239 --> 00:51:51,880 Speaker 2: but they're like, you don't get it, old man. I 973 00:51:51,880 --> 00:51:53,000 Speaker 2: mean they call me you know what I mean, And 974 00:51:53,000 --> 00:51:55,280 Speaker 2: I'm like, okay, it's the need. 975 00:51:55,200 --> 00:51:58,480 Speaker 3: To go along. Also, we have a fundamental after food 976 00:51:58,480 --> 00:52:00,759 Speaker 3: and shelter, it's our greatest need. And of course as 977 00:52:00,800 --> 00:52:04,000 Speaker 3: teenagers it's going to be very very at the forefront. 978 00:52:04,040 --> 00:52:08,759 Speaker 3: They need to belong. Yeah, but it's interesting because so 979 00:52:08,920 --> 00:52:10,480 Speaker 3: you know, going back to what you're saying earlier about 980 00:52:10,480 --> 00:52:14,359 Speaker 3: the research, so when you when you look the brain, 981 00:52:14,400 --> 00:52:18,360 Speaker 3: when you get something for yourself, it increases dopamine for 982 00:52:18,400 --> 00:52:19,880 Speaker 3: a little bit, not for very long, but for a 983 00:52:19,960 --> 00:52:24,040 Speaker 3: little bit. But when you're giving to others, it increases. 984 00:52:24,160 --> 00:52:28,120 Speaker 3: It makes you happier than when you receive, and it 985 00:52:28,280 --> 00:52:31,759 Speaker 3: sustains the level of happiness. So you know, when we 986 00:52:31,840 --> 00:52:34,160 Speaker 3: live a lifestyle, it's just all about me, myself and 987 00:52:34,200 --> 00:52:37,800 Speaker 3: I and like getting the big check, getting the whatever material, 988 00:52:37,920 --> 00:52:41,840 Speaker 3: whatever things that leads to these little dope bursts of dopamine. 989 00:52:41,920 --> 00:52:44,800 Speaker 3: But they don't last. So we're on this treadmill craving 990 00:52:44,800 --> 00:52:48,360 Speaker 3: more world or more and it never satisfying. And yet 991 00:52:48,480 --> 00:52:52,080 Speaker 3: when you are engaged in compassionate activity or service activity 992 00:52:52,160 --> 00:52:53,520 Speaker 3: or doing something for others, we all know what it 993 00:52:53,560 --> 00:52:55,239 Speaker 3: feels like. I feel the helpers high, you know, at 994 00:52:55,280 --> 00:52:58,680 Speaker 3: on point, there's nothing better. And what the research shows 995 00:52:58,680 --> 00:53:01,160 Speaker 3: is at the level of the brain that sustained well 996 00:53:01,160 --> 00:53:04,239 Speaker 3: being and those people live longer have lower inflammation. Like 997 00:53:04,280 --> 00:53:05,240 Speaker 3: it's really amazing. 998 00:53:06,640 --> 00:53:11,520 Speaker 2: Yes, I totally yeah. I mean I volunteered the children's 999 00:53:11,560 --> 00:53:14,480 Speaker 2: hospital for a few years and I was heavily involved 1000 00:53:14,480 --> 00:53:17,040 Speaker 2: and it was an incredible feeling, you know, and it's 1001 00:53:17,040 --> 00:53:19,160 Speaker 2: something I need to get back to because we become 1002 00:53:19,200 --> 00:53:22,240 Speaker 2: so inundated in ourselves. How are we going to advance? 1003 00:53:22,280 --> 00:53:24,960 Speaker 2: We but you know, in a reasonable way too. I 1004 00:53:24,960 --> 00:53:28,040 Speaker 2: think it's self preservation. I need to provide for my family. 1005 00:53:28,120 --> 00:53:30,120 Speaker 2: I need to make sure that they have shelter and 1006 00:53:30,120 --> 00:53:32,480 Speaker 2: they have food and all the basics you know, and 1007 00:53:32,600 --> 00:53:35,400 Speaker 2: you know you've created a certain lifestyle for yourself, you 1008 00:53:35,400 --> 00:53:38,920 Speaker 2: have to maintain that lifestyle. You know. I do think 1009 00:53:39,000 --> 00:53:41,920 Speaker 2: that at times you forget to sort of put yourself 1010 00:53:41,960 --> 00:53:43,040 Speaker 2: in the give back mode. 1011 00:53:43,360 --> 00:53:43,560 Speaker 1: You know. 1012 00:53:44,360 --> 00:53:45,439 Speaker 3: That balance is key. 1013 00:53:45,840 --> 00:53:49,400 Speaker 2: Yeah, it really is. It really is something that I 1014 00:53:49,480 --> 00:53:50,960 Speaker 2: need to work on, to be honest. 1015 00:53:51,560 --> 00:53:53,719 Speaker 3: Well, and if I can summarize the signs of happiness 1016 00:53:53,719 --> 00:53:55,960 Speaker 3: in one sentence, that's how I would summarize it. The 1017 00:53:56,160 --> 00:53:59,120 Speaker 3: happiest people who live the most fulfilled lives, but also 1018 00:53:59,120 --> 00:54:02,280 Speaker 3: the most healthiest, longest lives are the ones who balance 1019 00:54:03,000 --> 00:54:09,719 Speaker 3: compassion for others with self compassion. That balance is profound, 1020 00:54:10,080 --> 00:54:12,359 Speaker 3: you know. And one of my favorite research studies looked 1021 00:54:12,360 --> 00:54:14,759 Speaker 3: that people who had been really stressed, so who had 1022 00:54:14,840 --> 00:54:17,440 Speaker 3: gone through a very stressful life experience like war or 1023 00:54:18,520 --> 00:54:20,960 Speaker 3: something like that, and those people usually live shorter lives 1024 00:54:21,000 --> 00:54:25,600 Speaker 3: because stress shortens your life, especially a high intensity trauma 1025 00:54:25,640 --> 00:54:28,560 Speaker 3: like that. And yet my colleagues found this subgroup of 1026 00:54:28,600 --> 00:54:31,880 Speaker 3: people within this group that were like living forever. It 1027 00:54:31,960 --> 00:54:33,880 Speaker 3: was like, why are these people living so long? It 1028 00:54:33,920 --> 00:54:36,479 Speaker 3: doesn't make any sense. Yeah. I turned out all those people, 1029 00:54:36,560 --> 00:54:39,520 Speaker 3: in some way were engaged in compassionate service. Oriented activity. 1030 00:54:39,680 --> 00:54:40,000 Speaker 2: Wow. 1031 00:54:40,280 --> 00:54:42,480 Speaker 3: Didn't mean they were doing anything crazy like drawling to 1032 00:54:42,520 --> 00:54:46,919 Speaker 3: Africa and feeding orphans, but and that preserved their life 1033 00:54:46,960 --> 00:54:49,240 Speaker 3: and erased the effect of the trauma. It's amazing. 1034 00:54:49,680 --> 00:54:52,799 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's the lesson here. Everyone go do something for 1035 00:54:52,840 --> 00:54:54,799 Speaker 2: somebody else. I mean, even if it's small, you know, 1036 00:54:54,880 --> 00:54:57,759 Speaker 2: it doesn't have to be this huge thing that's going 1037 00:54:57,840 --> 00:54:59,399 Speaker 2: to take all of your time. I mean, just even 1038 00:54:59,400 --> 00:55:02,640 Speaker 2: the small little things. I were coming to the end. 1039 00:55:03,320 --> 00:55:05,080 Speaker 2: This has been so much fun. But I definitely want 1040 00:55:05,080 --> 00:55:08,400 Speaker 2: to hit on intuition for a second, because you know, 1041 00:55:08,440 --> 00:55:12,000 Speaker 2: I said, it's it's it feels magic, meaning I think 1042 00:55:12,120 --> 00:55:16,040 Speaker 2: people have stronger intuitions than others. I feel like I 1043 00:55:16,080 --> 00:55:20,839 Speaker 2: have a strong intuition maybe reading somebody in the first 1044 00:55:20,840 --> 00:55:23,960 Speaker 2: few minutes of getting to know them and being correct, 1045 00:55:24,080 --> 00:55:27,040 Speaker 2: you know. I think that might and this is my 1046 00:55:27,080 --> 00:55:29,840 Speaker 2: own self analysis, but it might have It has to 1047 00:55:29,880 --> 00:55:32,720 Speaker 2: do with my own work and sort of my own 1048 00:55:32,920 --> 00:55:37,799 Speaker 2: psychology and wanting to learn about who I am, why 1049 00:55:37,880 --> 00:55:40,200 Speaker 2: I am, who I am, the human condition in general 1050 00:55:40,239 --> 00:55:42,840 Speaker 2: as related to me. I feel like I have some 1051 00:55:42,960 --> 00:55:48,120 Speaker 2: insight just because of that. But when you talk about intuition, 1052 00:55:48,280 --> 00:55:53,319 Speaker 2: it's that feeling of I have a feeling, and I 1053 00:55:53,360 --> 00:55:57,440 Speaker 2: think you right that that's usually the right feeling or 1054 00:55:57,520 --> 00:56:01,120 Speaker 2: that first instinct is correct one, Am I right in 1055 00:56:01,200 --> 00:56:01,719 Speaker 2: saying that? 1056 00:56:02,560 --> 00:56:04,879 Speaker 3: So to answer you know all the things you said, 1057 00:56:04,880 --> 00:56:08,080 Speaker 3: First of all, some people are Research shows some people 1058 00:56:08,160 --> 00:56:10,080 Speaker 3: do tend to be more intuitive if they have this, 1059 00:56:10,880 --> 00:56:12,480 Speaker 3: if they tend to have more what we call it 1060 00:56:12,600 --> 00:56:15,440 Speaker 3: openness to experience. So, given that you've shared about you 1061 00:56:15,520 --> 00:56:20,560 Speaker 3: being naturally a very creative person and having that, research 1062 00:56:20,600 --> 00:56:23,719 Speaker 3: shows you do have a propensity to being more intuitive. 1063 00:56:24,080 --> 00:56:27,400 Speaker 3: But everyone does have a certain level of intuition, and 1064 00:56:27,440 --> 00:56:29,720 Speaker 3: it can be fostered and nurtured through things like meditation. 1065 00:56:29,800 --> 00:56:33,719 Speaker 3: But you also do. But what neuroscience shows is that 1066 00:56:33,760 --> 00:56:38,359 Speaker 3: when you're making a decision that's complicated, going with your 1067 00:56:38,400 --> 00:56:41,160 Speaker 3: gut feeling is going to lead to a better decision 1068 00:56:41,200 --> 00:56:43,760 Speaker 3: than if you were to try and analyze all the pieces. 1069 00:56:44,080 --> 00:56:46,759 Speaker 3: Let's say you know your phone is broken, should you 1070 00:56:46,760 --> 00:56:49,040 Speaker 3: buy a new one? That's not a complicated decision, right, 1071 00:56:49,080 --> 00:56:50,960 Speaker 3: I mean, finances could be an issue, but like, it's 1072 00:56:50,960 --> 00:56:53,120 Speaker 3: not a complicated decision. There's a problem, you got to 1073 00:56:53,160 --> 00:56:55,560 Speaker 3: fix it. But let's say, hey, you got this job 1074 00:56:55,600 --> 00:56:57,360 Speaker 3: in another city. You'll have to move schools, you have 1075 00:56:57,400 --> 00:56:59,840 Speaker 3: to buggleld a new house, don't get into a new community. 1076 00:57:00,000 --> 00:57:02,160 Speaker 3: It's going to impact your spouse's job, like all this 1077 00:57:02,200 --> 00:57:05,440 Speaker 3: other stuff, and you're weighing a lot of things. Then 1078 00:57:05,600 --> 00:57:09,080 Speaker 3: research shows that going with your gut feeling is going 1079 00:57:09,120 --> 00:57:10,400 Speaker 3: to tend to make them You're going to make a 1080 00:57:10,400 --> 00:57:14,080 Speaker 3: better decision. That's what. Yeah, that's what the data shows. 1081 00:57:14,400 --> 00:57:17,240 Speaker 3: And the military has actually been studying intuition for decades now, 1082 00:57:17,240 --> 00:57:18,680 Speaker 3: and it was made fun of it in a movie 1083 00:57:18,680 --> 00:57:20,240 Speaker 3: called Men Who Stare at Goats. I don't know if 1084 00:57:20,240 --> 00:57:20,919 Speaker 3: you're heard that movie. 1085 00:57:21,280 --> 00:57:24,400 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, But since then, yeah. 1086 00:57:24,640 --> 00:57:27,920 Speaker 3: Yeah, they've created they've launched a new research study because 1087 00:57:27,960 --> 00:57:32,400 Speaker 3: so many veterans were coming back from Afghanistan and Iraqs saying, yeah, 1088 00:57:32,600 --> 00:57:34,520 Speaker 3: I just had a feeling I shouldn't go down that road, 1089 00:57:34,520 --> 00:57:36,480 Speaker 3: and like save their lives, so the lives of others, 1090 00:57:37,280 --> 00:57:41,200 Speaker 3: and you know, it's it's something we've all experienced. My 1091 00:57:41,200 --> 00:57:44,160 Speaker 3: friend Krishnel was in the Twin Towers during nine to 1092 00:57:44,160 --> 00:57:47,440 Speaker 3: eleven and the guards were saying stay inside, and he 1093 00:57:47,560 --> 00:57:50,520 Speaker 3: had this instinct to run, and he ran and he 1094 00:57:50,560 --> 00:57:52,880 Speaker 3: saved his life by a hair. You know what, we're 1095 00:57:52,920 --> 00:57:54,680 Speaker 3: trained out of it. How many people also had that 1096 00:57:54,720 --> 00:57:58,240 Speaker 3: feeling but thought to stay because they wanted to obey orders. 1097 00:57:58,320 --> 00:58:02,400 Speaker 3: You know, we're taught just listen, talk, you know, pay 1098 00:58:02,400 --> 00:58:05,200 Speaker 3: attention to the voices outside of you. But we actually 1099 00:58:05,280 --> 00:58:09,760 Speaker 3: are wired physiologically with a cognitive ability that we're still 1100 00:58:10,000 --> 00:58:13,360 Speaker 3: you know, in the we're still researching this idea of intuition. 1101 00:58:13,480 --> 00:58:16,160 Speaker 3: But what it shows is that it's designed to save 1102 00:58:16,160 --> 00:58:16,880 Speaker 3: our lives. 1103 00:58:17,080 --> 00:58:21,720 Speaker 2: Yeah, no, it's it's so interesting. I definitely want to 1104 00:58:21,760 --> 00:58:23,640 Speaker 2: go down that path a little bit more once the 1105 00:58:23,720 --> 00:58:26,600 Speaker 2: research just becomes more available and more in tuned and 1106 00:58:26,800 --> 00:58:30,120 Speaker 2: fine tuned, you know, because intuition seems like can be 1107 00:58:30,160 --> 00:58:34,320 Speaker 2: clouded and muddied with fear as well. And I only 1108 00:58:34,440 --> 00:58:37,520 Speaker 2: you know, which is not a true intuition. So I 1109 00:58:37,520 --> 00:58:39,520 Speaker 2: can only say that because I had a fear of flying. 1110 00:58:39,560 --> 00:58:41,600 Speaker 2: I don't much anymore, but I had a real fear 1111 00:58:41,600 --> 00:58:43,720 Speaker 2: of flying, and it would be like, my intuition is 1112 00:58:43,720 --> 00:58:45,880 Speaker 2: telling me don't get on the plane because it's going 1113 00:58:45,960 --> 00:58:49,800 Speaker 2: to fucking crash, and that's of course not true. But 1114 00:58:49,880 --> 00:58:54,160 Speaker 2: I am almost creating an intuition rather than having an intuition. 1115 00:58:54,400 --> 00:58:56,520 Speaker 3: You know, well, I love that again, you have like 1116 00:58:56,520 --> 00:58:59,919 Speaker 3: a real sign. Do you think really scientifically? Because that's it. 1117 00:59:00,200 --> 00:59:03,960 Speaker 3: We want to know what's real what's not. And when 1118 00:59:04,000 --> 00:59:05,920 Speaker 3: we have fear, Yeah, I could be like, oh no, 1119 00:59:06,600 --> 00:59:08,400 Speaker 3: my intuition says, don't go up on stage and talk 1120 00:59:08,400 --> 00:59:10,400 Speaker 3: in front of a million people. It's like, wow, you're 1121 00:59:10,520 --> 00:59:13,439 Speaker 3: just afraid. But I'll give you one more example about 1122 00:59:13,480 --> 00:59:16,120 Speaker 3: how physiologically wired we are for it. So have you 1123 00:59:16,120 --> 00:59:18,240 Speaker 3: ever been around someone where you just have a bad 1124 00:59:18,280 --> 00:59:19,960 Speaker 3: feeling but you can't explain it and you just want 1125 00:59:19,960 --> 00:59:22,080 Speaker 3: to that to wait. We have that all the time. 1126 00:59:22,320 --> 00:59:25,280 Speaker 3: So let me give you an example of what could 1127 00:59:25,320 --> 00:59:28,800 Speaker 3: be going on this situation in our society. We don't 1128 00:59:28,840 --> 00:59:30,480 Speaker 3: know what to do with our emotions, so most of 1129 00:59:30,600 --> 00:59:32,440 Speaker 3: us suppress them, right. That's kind of what we're told. 1130 00:59:32,440 --> 00:59:34,800 Speaker 3: If you're feeling angry, just mask it. Right. So let's 1131 00:59:34,800 --> 00:59:36,560 Speaker 3: say I were feeling angry right now and I was like, no, 1132 00:59:36,640 --> 00:59:40,120 Speaker 3: I'm not angry, I'm just fine. Your heart rate would increase, 1133 00:59:41,200 --> 00:59:43,800 Speaker 3: Your intellect will have not caught on. You'll be like, oh, 1134 00:59:43,840 --> 00:59:48,200 Speaker 3: she's smiling, she seems fine, but your physiology has registered 1135 00:59:49,480 --> 00:59:54,880 Speaker 3: my physiology. We do that very quickly. It's a subconscious 1136 00:59:54,920 --> 00:59:59,120 Speaker 3: physiological resonance very very fast. And what that registers is 1137 01:00:00,000 --> 01:00:01,920 Speaker 3: there's this threat for you in your nervous system. And 1138 01:00:01,920 --> 01:00:03,360 Speaker 3: I'll give you an example. Why So, have you heard 1139 01:00:03,360 --> 01:00:04,920 Speaker 3: of equine facilitated therapy? 1140 01:00:05,640 --> 01:00:06,920 Speaker 2: Yes, yes I have. 1141 01:00:07,440 --> 01:00:09,520 Speaker 3: So there's a therapist and who uses a horse with 1142 01:00:09,600 --> 01:00:10,120 Speaker 3: the patient. 1143 01:00:10,360 --> 01:00:11,080 Speaker 2: Yeah. 1144 01:00:11,120 --> 01:00:13,240 Speaker 3: So let's say they're working with the kid with trauma 1145 01:00:13,240 --> 01:00:14,760 Speaker 3: and the kid comes up and they're like, I'm not 1146 01:00:14,800 --> 01:00:16,960 Speaker 3: scared of that horse. I'm just fine, I'm not scared. 1147 01:00:17,040 --> 01:00:19,800 Speaker 3: But they're actually scared. The horse is moving all over 1148 01:00:19,840 --> 01:00:23,520 Speaker 3: the place, super anxious, and as soon as the child 1149 01:00:23,560 --> 01:00:27,120 Speaker 3: says a cam scared, the horse calms down. Why the 1150 01:00:27,160 --> 01:00:30,480 Speaker 3: horse doesn't understand English, but the horse, being an animal 1151 01:00:30,520 --> 01:00:34,760 Speaker 3: of prey, is hyper aware of this physiological resonance. And 1152 01:00:34,760 --> 01:00:38,840 Speaker 3: we registers inauthenticity as threat, of course, because you don't 1153 01:00:38,880 --> 01:00:40,760 Speaker 3: know what could be coming at you, and we do 1154 01:00:40,880 --> 01:00:46,040 Speaker 3: the same thing we do. So it's literally physiological that 1155 01:00:46,080 --> 01:00:48,400 Speaker 3: we can sometimes register what's going on and we register 1156 01:00:48,440 --> 01:00:50,680 Speaker 3: it as threat. But our intellefe is so far behind 1157 01:00:50,720 --> 01:00:52,800 Speaker 3: and much slower at processing this kind of thing. So 1158 01:00:52,800 --> 01:00:56,920 Speaker 3: it's just another way that we that our intuition kicks in. 1159 01:00:56,960 --> 01:00:59,800 Speaker 3: It's almost an instinct, so there's different forms of intuition 1160 01:01:00,080 --> 01:01:00,680 Speaker 3: can think about. 1161 01:01:01,080 --> 01:01:05,840 Speaker 2: Mm hm, amazing. Well this has been amazingly insightful and 1162 01:01:05,920 --> 01:01:08,000 Speaker 2: so fun. And why don't you tell his name of 1163 01:01:08,160 --> 01:01:10,800 Speaker 2: the new book again? The whole title? I didn't. Yeah, 1164 01:01:12,480 --> 01:01:15,840 Speaker 2: there's a there's it's a lot. It's Sovereignty and then bang, 1165 01:01:15,920 --> 01:01:17,120 Speaker 2: so go ahead with the title. 1166 01:01:17,960 --> 01:01:21,360 Speaker 3: It's called Sovereign Reclaim your freedom, energy and power in 1167 01:01:21,400 --> 01:01:24,080 Speaker 3: a time of distraction, uncertainty, and chaos. 1168 01:01:25,000 --> 01:01:28,959 Speaker 2: And it's a must read. Honestly, it's retaining that power. 1169 01:01:29,080 --> 01:01:33,360 Speaker 2: It's so important. That's done self love too, you know, 1170 01:01:33,440 --> 01:01:37,280 Speaker 2: it all leads to good things. Well, thank you, and 1171 01:01:37,360 --> 01:01:41,520 Speaker 2: I appreciate the time. Yeah, it was a blast, This 1172 01:01:41,680 --> 01:01:44,439 Speaker 2: was awesome. I'm glad the saw this all went down. 1173 01:01:45,000 --> 01:01:46,800 Speaker 2: I can't wait to read the book. I mean candidly, 1174 01:01:46,800 --> 01:01:48,560 Speaker 2: I haven't read the book yet, so I'm I'm this 1175 01:01:48,600 --> 01:01:50,440 Speaker 2: is definitely what I'm gonna read right now. So I 1176 01:01:50,600 --> 01:01:53,920 Speaker 2: hadn't read James as either, and he is in my 1177 01:01:54,000 --> 01:01:56,440 Speaker 2: ears now all the time because I want I'm listening 1178 01:01:56,480 --> 01:01:58,480 Speaker 2: to it and then your next stup for sure, I 1179 01:01:58,480 --> 01:01:59,040 Speaker 2: cannot wait. 1180 01:01:59,680 --> 01:02:01,640 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, let me know what you think. 1181 01:02:01,800 --> 01:02:04,360 Speaker 2: I will I will thank you so much. I appreciate it. 1182 01:02:04,640 --> 01:02:06,240 Speaker 3: Yes, it's my pleasure. Thank you. 1183 01:02:06,520 --> 01:02:14,920 Speaker 2: All right. Wow, It's like I'm just educating myself. I 1184 01:02:14,920 --> 01:02:17,840 Speaker 2: feel like this podcast is more for me than it 1185 01:02:17,920 --> 01:02:23,920 Speaker 2: is for anyone who's listening. Maybe I'll just dedicate my 1186 01:02:24,080 --> 01:02:30,600 Speaker 2: guests to self realization, so it has nothing to do 1187 01:02:30,680 --> 01:02:33,240 Speaker 2: with what you the listeners want, It has to do 1188 01:02:33,280 --> 01:02:36,400 Speaker 2: with me and what I need. That's going to be 1189 01:02:36,400 --> 01:02:40,680 Speaker 2: the new theme of this podcast, sibling revelry, but it's 1190 01:02:40,720 --> 01:02:44,600 Speaker 2: more of just Oliver Hudson's Psychosis. Maybe we'll change the 1191 01:02:44,680 --> 01:02:52,400 Speaker 2: name to ohp Oliver Hudson's Psychosis. Anyway, that was awesome. 1192 01:02:52,600 --> 01:02:54,960 Speaker 2: You should get that book. You should. I'm going to 1193 01:02:55,000 --> 01:02:57,960 Speaker 2: get it. I think it's I think it's going to 1194 01:02:58,040 --> 01:03:00,960 Speaker 2: be pretty rad. There's so many things that we can 1195 01:03:01,000 --> 01:03:02,920 Speaker 2: do to just to be happier, you know what I mean. 1196 01:03:03,880 --> 01:03:05,840 Speaker 2: There's no doubt that we're fucked up, and we've got 1197 01:03:05,880 --> 01:03:07,520 Speaker 2: all kinds of shit going on in our lives, and 1198 01:03:07,560 --> 01:03:09,360 Speaker 2: you wake up and it's like, oh my god, bills 1199 01:03:09,400 --> 01:03:12,440 Speaker 2: and kids and this and stresses and it's just normal 1200 01:03:12,560 --> 01:03:18,680 Speaker 2: across the board. But I think there's definitely a real way, 1201 01:03:18,840 --> 01:03:23,840 Speaker 2: a spiritual and scientific way to regulate and to actually 1202 01:03:24,000 --> 01:03:26,680 Speaker 2: just live each day a little happier. I mean, even 1203 01:03:26,720 --> 01:03:30,040 Speaker 2: if it's one percent, it's still just still one percent more. 1204 01:03:31,520 --> 01:03:34,560 Speaker 2: And I'm gonna do that today. I'm gonna try and 1205 01:03:34,760 --> 01:03:40,200 Speaker 2: do my best. All right. I love y'all and I'll 1206 01:03:40,240 --> 01:03:42,120 Speaker 2: talk to you soon. Hey, you know what, give me 1207 01:03:42,120 --> 01:03:45,280 Speaker 2: a call, shoot me at d M. I'm out.