1 00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:03,880 Speaker 1: Buggle up here. It is strawberry letter. Thank you nephew. 2 00:00:04,040 --> 00:00:07,920 Speaker 1: Subject I want my husband to accept my male friend 3 00:00:08,320 --> 00:00:11,600 Speaker 1: here Stephen Shirley. In March of this year, my husband 4 00:00:11,600 --> 00:00:14,520 Speaker 1: and I separated and he moved out of the house. 5 00:00:14,920 --> 00:00:17,880 Speaker 1: During our separation, I started talking to a guy I 6 00:00:17,960 --> 00:00:21,000 Speaker 1: met at work. We started hanging out as friends, and 7 00:00:21,079 --> 00:00:24,599 Speaker 1: we ended up having sex. Eventually. My new friend was 8 00:00:24,640 --> 00:00:26,920 Speaker 1: aware of the problem to my husband and I were having, 9 00:00:27,160 --> 00:00:30,080 Speaker 1: and he was supportive. I recently told a friend that 10 00:00:30,120 --> 00:00:32,200 Speaker 1: my husband and I were trying to work things out 11 00:00:32,240 --> 00:00:35,800 Speaker 1: in our marriage, and he understood. We remained as friends 12 00:00:35,840 --> 00:00:39,600 Speaker 1: with benefits until my husband moved back in with me. 13 00:00:40,080 --> 00:00:42,800 Speaker 1: Now that my husband is back home, my friend and 14 00:00:42,840 --> 00:00:45,400 Speaker 1: I have not had sex and I no longer see 15 00:00:45,479 --> 00:00:48,800 Speaker 1: him in that way. We are just friends now and 16 00:00:48,880 --> 00:00:51,320 Speaker 1: he has a new girlfriend that he really likes. So 17 00:00:51,479 --> 00:00:55,360 Speaker 1: here's my problem. I'm tired of hiding my friendship with 18 00:00:55,400 --> 00:00:58,720 Speaker 1: this guy. He and I enjoy hanging out with each other, 19 00:00:58,920 --> 00:01:01,160 Speaker 1: and I don't want to do it sacred anymore. I 20 00:01:01,200 --> 00:01:03,400 Speaker 1: don't want my husband to see me out with this guy, 21 00:01:03,520 --> 00:01:06,080 Speaker 1: find a text message or see him calling me, and 22 00:01:06,120 --> 00:01:09,400 Speaker 1: then suspect that I'm cheating on him. My question is 23 00:01:09,600 --> 00:01:13,280 Speaker 1: should I introduce my friend to my husband. I want 24 00:01:13,319 --> 00:01:15,520 Speaker 1: to clear the air and tell my husband that my 25 00:01:15,640 --> 00:01:18,399 Speaker 1: friend and I had a sexual relationship, but it was 26 00:01:18,480 --> 00:01:21,000 Speaker 1: when he and I were separated, so it shouldn't matter. 27 00:01:21,840 --> 00:01:24,160 Speaker 1: Or should I just keep it to myself. I could 28 00:01:24,200 --> 00:01:26,920 Speaker 1: just end the friendship, but this guy has become such 29 00:01:26,959 --> 00:01:33,080 Speaker 1: a big part of my life. What should I do? No? No, no, Okay, 30 00:01:33,240 --> 00:01:35,720 Speaker 1: you can't share this with your husband. You just can't. 31 00:01:35,800 --> 00:01:38,960 Speaker 1: I guarantee you he's not going to take it like 32 00:01:39,040 --> 00:01:42,440 Speaker 1: you think he will, or um like you think he should. 33 00:01:42,480 --> 00:01:45,119 Speaker 1: Even um, it's not gonna matter. If you you were 34 00:01:45,160 --> 00:01:47,720 Speaker 1: separated from your husband during the time you have this 35 00:01:47,800 --> 00:01:50,680 Speaker 1: affair with this guy, is not gonna matter. Don't do this. 36 00:01:50,880 --> 00:01:52,600 Speaker 1: Even if this guy is only a friend to you. 37 00:01:52,720 --> 00:01:55,760 Speaker 1: Right now, your husband is gonna figure it out. He's 38 00:01:55,760 --> 00:01:58,960 Speaker 1: not gonna want to know about some quote unquote friend 39 00:01:59,040 --> 00:02:01,800 Speaker 1: you were having sex. It's just not gonna fly with him. 40 00:02:01,840 --> 00:02:04,360 Speaker 1: I mean, I gotta tell you, stay woke. This is 41 00:02:04,400 --> 00:02:06,880 Speaker 1: not a good look. If you want to get back 42 00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:09,920 Speaker 1: and stay with your husband, you're gonna have to learn 43 00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:13,480 Speaker 1: that you can't tell everything. You just can't tell everything. 44 00:02:13,520 --> 00:02:16,320 Speaker 1: You have to keep some things to yourself, and this 45 00:02:16,400 --> 00:02:20,240 Speaker 1: is definitely one of those things. No to your ex 46 00:02:20,320 --> 00:02:27,760 Speaker 1: boyfriends and your affair. No, Steve, my friend and I 47 00:02:27,840 --> 00:02:31,240 Speaker 1: had a sexual relationship, but it was when he and 48 00:02:31,280 --> 00:02:43,200 Speaker 1: I were separated, so it shouldn't matter what your lady, Yeah, 49 00:02:43,280 --> 00:02:46,000 Speaker 1: let me this had to hitting the letter. I had 50 00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:50,160 Speaker 1: a sexual relationship, but it was when he and I 51 00:02:50,240 --> 00:02:57,760 Speaker 1: were separated, so it shouldn't matter what you did. You 52 00:02:57,800 --> 00:03:02,640 Speaker 1: read one more times? I didn't do with me like 53 00:03:04,919 --> 00:03:06,560 Speaker 1: I want to let me read a little bit, moldy. 54 00:03:06,800 --> 00:03:10,200 Speaker 1: I want to clear the air and tell my husband 55 00:03:10,840 --> 00:03:14,040 Speaker 1: that my friend and I had a sexual relationship, but 56 00:03:14,120 --> 00:03:16,760 Speaker 1: it was green here and I was separated, so it 57 00:03:16,840 --> 00:03:26,960 Speaker 1: shouldn't matter what along the pause I pick out it 58 00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:30,799 Speaker 1: was a longer sentence already. Yeah, I'm reading one more 59 00:03:30,840 --> 00:03:34,120 Speaker 1: time and then pause it longer than so yeah, that 60 00:03:34,560 --> 00:03:40,280 Speaker 1: effect My question is should I introduce my friend to 61 00:03:40,480 --> 00:03:43,960 Speaker 1: my husband. I want to clear the air and tell 62 00:03:44,080 --> 00:03:49,000 Speaker 1: my husband that my friend and I had a sexual relationship, 63 00:03:49,560 --> 00:03:52,680 Speaker 1: but it was print here and I was separated, so 64 00:03:52,760 --> 00:04:02,160 Speaker 1: it shouldn't matter what like a little tracking your voice 65 00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:15,240 Speaker 1: almost crack? Okay, you know the subject I want my 66 00:04:15,440 --> 00:04:20,400 Speaker 1: husband to accept my male friend. First of all, let 67 00:04:20,400 --> 00:04:25,920 Speaker 1: me just clear up this for you. Not many of us, 68 00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:32,280 Speaker 1: except our wives, having male friends. Not many of us. 69 00:04:32,440 --> 00:04:36,479 Speaker 1: The ore exceptions, but not many. But chars is deeper 70 00:04:36,480 --> 00:04:39,839 Speaker 1: than this. Though. In March of this year, you and 71 00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:41,960 Speaker 1: your hubs were separated, he moved out of the house, 72 00:04:42,800 --> 00:04:44,640 Speaker 1: and then you start talking to this guy. You met 73 00:04:44,680 --> 00:04:46,640 Speaker 1: him work. You ain't met him at work, he'd been there. 74 00:04:49,040 --> 00:04:52,280 Speaker 1: We started hanging out as friends, and we ended up 75 00:04:52,320 --> 00:04:59,920 Speaker 1: having sex eventually, Okay, we ended up having sex eventually. 76 00:05:00,640 --> 00:05:02,560 Speaker 1: My new friend was aware of the problems with my 77 00:05:02,640 --> 00:05:06,360 Speaker 1: husband I was having and he was supported. Then I 78 00:05:06,400 --> 00:05:08,159 Speaker 1: told your friend and my husband I was trying to 79 00:05:08,160 --> 00:05:12,560 Speaker 1: work things out in the manage, and he understood. We remark, 80 00:05:12,760 --> 00:05:15,159 Speaker 1: you know why you understood, because that's all he wanted 81 00:05:15,200 --> 00:05:18,919 Speaker 1: from you anyway. See, lady, now I want you to 82 00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:21,680 Speaker 1: I want you to know how men are now once 83 00:05:21,760 --> 00:05:24,880 Speaker 1: he see you finding get back to your husband. Cool. 84 00:05:25,320 --> 00:05:28,200 Speaker 1: That's all I wanted anyway. So now I want you 85 00:05:28,240 --> 00:05:31,520 Speaker 1: to know who you're gonna risk your marriage over again 86 00:05:31,760 --> 00:05:35,240 Speaker 1: by introducing this guy too. I recently told my friend 87 00:05:35,240 --> 00:05:36,760 Speaker 1: and I was trying to work things out, and he 88 00:05:36,839 --> 00:05:41,840 Speaker 1: understood we remained as friends with benefits. You kept screwing 89 00:05:43,480 --> 00:05:47,640 Speaker 1: and to my husband moved back in with me. That's 90 00:05:47,640 --> 00:05:50,640 Speaker 1: how that's the best we're gonna go in. Maybe we 91 00:05:50,720 --> 00:06:01,560 Speaker 1: need right there. What Now that my husband has moved 92 00:06:01,600 --> 00:06:04,960 Speaker 1: back here with me and my husband is back home, 93 00:06:05,400 --> 00:06:08,040 Speaker 1: my friend and I have had not not had sex, 94 00:06:08,720 --> 00:06:10,920 Speaker 1: and I don't no longer see him that way. We're 95 00:06:10,960 --> 00:06:14,320 Speaker 1: just friends now, and he got a new girlfriend that 96 00:06:14,440 --> 00:06:18,159 Speaker 1: he really likes. So here's my problem. I'm tired of 97 00:06:18,240 --> 00:06:21,520 Speaker 1: hiding my friendship with this guy. Here and I joy 98 00:06:21,600 --> 00:06:24,440 Speaker 1: hanging out with each other, and I don't want to 99 00:06:24,480 --> 00:06:36,000 Speaker 1: do it in secret anymore. What you want to do 100 00:06:36,040 --> 00:06:43,039 Speaker 1: it this secret? No more? Yeah, here and I enjoy 101 00:06:43,120 --> 00:06:45,520 Speaker 1: hanging out. I don't want seeking up. I don't want 102 00:06:45,520 --> 00:06:51,520 Speaker 1: my husband to see me out with this guy. What 103 00:06:52,800 --> 00:06:59,920 Speaker 1: you find a text message? What? Or see him calling 104 00:07:00,040 --> 00:07:03,760 Speaker 1: me and suspect that I'm cheating on him? Look what 105 00:07:04,720 --> 00:07:08,080 Speaker 1: we'll be back with more of what people in hell want? 106 00:07:08,120 --> 00:07:12,080 Speaker 1: Ice water? You want your husband accept my male friend 107 00:07:12,960 --> 00:07:16,760 Speaker 1: that he don't know nothing about, though, See, so what 108 00:07:16,800 --> 00:07:19,640 Speaker 1: you're fit to do is interject some brand new news 109 00:07:19,760 --> 00:07:23,400 Speaker 1: to your husband while y'all were separated, you started having 110 00:07:23,440 --> 00:07:27,400 Speaker 1: sex with this dude here, your new friend. Then you 111 00:07:27,480 --> 00:07:29,560 Speaker 1: told your friend and your husband trying to get it 112 00:07:29,600 --> 00:07:32,960 Speaker 1: back together. He said they understood, but we remained a 113 00:07:33,080 --> 00:07:36,120 Speaker 1: friends with benefits until my husband moved back in with me. 114 00:07:36,840 --> 00:07:39,640 Speaker 1: Now my husband's back home, my friend and I've not 115 00:07:39,840 --> 00:07:42,840 Speaker 1: had sex, and I no longer see him in that way. 116 00:07:43,240 --> 00:07:46,440 Speaker 1: We're just friends now, and he got new girlfriend he 117 00:07:46,520 --> 00:07:50,400 Speaker 1: really liked though. So here my problem. I'm tired of 118 00:07:50,480 --> 00:07:54,440 Speaker 1: hiding my friendship with this guy. What be and I 119 00:07:54,560 --> 00:07:56,840 Speaker 1: enjoy hanging out with each other, and I don't want 120 00:07:56,840 --> 00:08:03,240 Speaker 1: to do it in secret? No more, I don't want 121 00:08:03,240 --> 00:08:08,360 Speaker 1: to do this. What did you plan on doing? That's 122 00:08:08,480 --> 00:08:12,600 Speaker 1: that's what it's supposed to be. This in sacred and done. 123 00:08:13,440 --> 00:08:15,200 Speaker 1: I don't want my husband to see me out with 124 00:08:15,280 --> 00:08:17,800 Speaker 1: this guy find a text Mexic or see him calling 125 00:08:17,840 --> 00:08:20,960 Speaker 1: me and suspect that I'm cheating on him. My question 126 00:08:21,160 --> 00:08:25,600 Speaker 1: is m hm. My question is should I introduce my 127 00:08:25,720 --> 00:08:35,800 Speaker 1: friend to my husband? What? Nothing can answer a questions? 128 00:08:36,679 --> 00:08:44,240 Speaker 1: Can um? Can J be the girl? Let's do it? Reenactment? Jay? 129 00:08:44,920 --> 00:08:46,880 Speaker 1: I want you to try to help. Can I get 130 00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:52,640 Speaker 1: help with a younger name because my name's okay, Sequida, Okayquita, 131 00:08:53,679 --> 00:08:57,600 Speaker 1: this got to be some young people don't only ask people. Quita. 132 00:08:57,720 --> 00:09:00,439 Speaker 1: You coming in the house to Terrel, and you fin 133 00:09:00,520 --> 00:09:03,840 Speaker 1: to tell me to rail that you're trying to find 134 00:09:03,840 --> 00:09:05,240 Speaker 1: a way to break it to me that you was 135 00:09:05,480 --> 00:09:09,400 Speaker 1: seeing this man pick another name because my son, Terrel 136 00:09:09,640 --> 00:09:14,319 Speaker 1: was swear. Okay, okay, no, no, I'm telling you I 137 00:09:14,840 --> 00:09:20,760 Speaker 1: know what's gonna happen me. Ain'tybody talking about you? All right? 138 00:09:22,400 --> 00:09:27,679 Speaker 1: That's how we eat Dante Dante. Okay, all right, I'm Dante. 139 00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:32,839 Speaker 1: You should quet it quet What was happening? Nothing down tape? Uh? 140 00:09:33,200 --> 00:09:35,480 Speaker 1: Can I tell you for a minute. Yeah, you know, 141 00:09:35,520 --> 00:09:37,800 Speaker 1: I thought we might go on in here since we're 142 00:09:37,840 --> 00:09:39,720 Speaker 1: trying to work things out. I want you to hold 143 00:09:39,760 --> 00:09:41,960 Speaker 1: up on that. But hold that thought. That's a good thought. 144 00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:43,760 Speaker 1: There's a good thing. I wanta tell you something first. 145 00:09:44,200 --> 00:09:46,880 Speaker 1: Remember when I when we broke up, Remember that time 146 00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:50,200 Speaker 1: we had broke up? Baby. Look look, look, look, look, 147 00:09:50,280 --> 00:09:52,520 Speaker 1: I know we went through some hard time. You ain't 148 00:09:52,520 --> 00:09:55,200 Speaker 1: gotta keep bringing all that up. How we Because I 149 00:09:55,240 --> 00:09:57,480 Speaker 1: know we broke up, baby, go on that matter. We 150 00:09:57,520 --> 00:09:59,600 Speaker 1: try to work it out. This part is so important. 151 00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:03,000 Speaker 1: It's going in here first, hold that thought because I 152 00:10:03,040 --> 00:10:05,080 Speaker 1: want to I want you to keep the energy. But 153 00:10:05,600 --> 00:10:07,640 Speaker 1: remember when he when we had kind of broke up, 154 00:10:07,720 --> 00:10:10,120 Speaker 1: like when we were yeah, we broke out, yeah, yeah, 155 00:10:10,200 --> 00:10:14,080 Speaker 1: you know I left, yeah, and then we got we 156 00:10:14,120 --> 00:10:16,400 Speaker 1: had got back there. But in between that time when 157 00:10:16,400 --> 00:10:19,080 Speaker 1: you had left and when you had come back, there's 158 00:10:19,080 --> 00:10:21,040 Speaker 1: a lot of space in between. So what I don't 159 00:10:21,040 --> 00:10:23,400 Speaker 1: want to talk to you about. Space ain't nothing to me, baby, 160 00:10:23,440 --> 00:10:26,880 Speaker 1: Space just time, time gone. You can't get it back. 161 00:10:27,520 --> 00:10:29,679 Speaker 1: You know, we were just going in this back room 162 00:10:29,760 --> 00:10:33,040 Speaker 1: here tell you, yeah, we could just see this. I'm 163 00:10:33,080 --> 00:10:36,120 Speaker 1: trying to Okay, there was a lot of space between 164 00:10:36,160 --> 00:10:39,720 Speaker 1: when when you left and when you came back. I know, baby, 165 00:10:39,760 --> 00:10:42,360 Speaker 1: But that whole time I was thinking about you. How 166 00:10:42,400 --> 00:10:47,400 Speaker 1: can I say this? This is I'm trying to tell you, Well, 167 00:10:47,679 --> 00:10:50,160 Speaker 1: when you left right and then you came back, the 168 00:10:50,240 --> 00:10:54,440 Speaker 1: space that was in between that something when you had left, 169 00:10:54,480 --> 00:10:59,199 Speaker 1: when you had you when you say space, something got 170 00:10:59,240 --> 00:11:01,439 Speaker 1: in between that. What you mean something guy in twin 171 00:11:01,480 --> 00:11:04,200 Speaker 1: with But because you wasn't here, you wasn't here at 172 00:11:04,200 --> 00:11:08,000 Speaker 1: that time, and then you had came back. So I'm 173 00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:10,679 Speaker 1: trying to focus. Remember now you customed me and told me, 174 00:11:10,800 --> 00:11:14,760 Speaker 1: you know I did remember all that. Okay, but how 175 00:11:14,760 --> 00:11:18,040 Speaker 1: can I school? Lord? This is like, oh father, god, 176 00:11:18,080 --> 00:11:22,439 Speaker 1: how do I say these words? What had happened? Well? M, 177 00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:25,480 Speaker 1: you can't temn times I heard that. Pay good money 178 00:11:25,480 --> 00:11:29,840 Speaker 1: for it anyway. Um, um you there was a there 179 00:11:29,960 --> 00:11:32,679 Speaker 1: was a friend. There was a support friend because I 180 00:11:32,679 --> 00:11:34,719 Speaker 1: had I was going through a lot of this. Cool baby, Hey, 181 00:11:34,720 --> 00:11:37,040 Speaker 1: look hey, look everybody need a friend when they're going 182 00:11:37,120 --> 00:11:40,120 Speaker 1: through something difficult. I just want to know, let you 183 00:11:40,160 --> 00:11:42,439 Speaker 1: know that while you was gone, he was How can 184 00:11:42,480 --> 00:11:44,040 Speaker 1: I say that? He was on top of the situation. 185 00:11:44,400 --> 00:11:49,080 Speaker 1: Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on? 186 00:11:50,320 --> 00:11:53,000 Speaker 1: What what what? What? What? What? What? What? What you mean? 187 00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:56,480 Speaker 1: He m? He was on Well there, I had some 188 00:11:56,559 --> 00:11:59,400 Speaker 1: problems that I was going through personally, and he was 189 00:11:59,440 --> 00:12:03,280 Speaker 1: on top of the situation. Who is who is who? Who? 190 00:12:03,559 --> 00:12:07,040 Speaker 1: Who is he? Baby? He was he's a friend from 191 00:12:07,040 --> 00:12:08,920 Speaker 1: the job. And what he did the problem that I had, 192 00:12:09,160 --> 00:12:11,040 Speaker 1: he just kind of spanked it out of me. You know, 193 00:12:11,080 --> 00:12:14,280 Speaker 1: he just spanked it out. Was all gone. Hold wait 194 00:12:14,280 --> 00:12:18,000 Speaker 1: wait wait wait wait wait you met somebody down Joe 195 00:12:18,080 --> 00:12:20,720 Speaker 1: Joel spanking No, no, no, no, no, no, that ain't. 196 00:12:20,760 --> 00:12:22,959 Speaker 1: What I'm saying is I had problems. I was, and 197 00:12:23,040 --> 00:12:25,080 Speaker 1: you said he spanked it out you But what what 198 00:12:25,240 --> 00:12:27,960 Speaker 1: what what? What is that figure speech or something? What 199 00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:32,520 Speaker 1: that means? Well? He in other words, I was going 200 00:12:32,559 --> 00:12:36,120 Speaker 1: through things and he got behind me to really deal 201 00:12:36,240 --> 00:12:39,840 Speaker 1: with this. You know what I'm saying? Hold on, hold on? 202 00:12:40,559 --> 00:12:45,040 Speaker 1: You trying to say that while I was gone that 203 00:12:45,200 --> 00:12:50,640 Speaker 1: another man came in him? No he wasn't. No, okay, 204 00:12:50,679 --> 00:12:54,960 Speaker 1: but what step I mean you started having? You? What 205 00:12:55,120 --> 00:12:58,280 Speaker 1: kind of friend is this? Real good friend? And when 206 00:12:58,320 --> 00:13:00,480 Speaker 1: you say real good friend, sequeen, what as you mean? 207 00:13:00,880 --> 00:13:02,760 Speaker 1: I mean? I have problems? He was right where I 208 00:13:02,840 --> 00:13:06,560 Speaker 1: had heard all that. We all had problems. That's why 209 00:13:06,600 --> 00:13:11,080 Speaker 1: I left. Know what kind of friend was it? Well, 210 00:13:11,120 --> 00:13:13,240 Speaker 1: I just want you to know that we're not going 211 00:13:13,320 --> 00:13:15,120 Speaker 1: through that anymore. And we had a happy in it, 212 00:13:15,320 --> 00:13:20,760 Speaker 1: So that's who had happy. Que Let me tell you something. 213 00:13:21,679 --> 00:13:24,240 Speaker 1: We're gonna work through this here. But if I find 214 00:13:24,280 --> 00:13:29,679 Speaker 1: out from you that you were seeing another man while 215 00:13:29,720 --> 00:13:35,320 Speaker 1: we broke up, it's gonna be some problems off up hill. Yeah, 216 00:13:35,720 --> 00:13:37,840 Speaker 1: and you you you you you you you you you 217 00:13:37,960 --> 00:13:40,199 Speaker 1: text if you want I bet not seeing no damn text. 218 00:13:40,840 --> 00:13:42,880 Speaker 1: I bet not see y'all. Ass I don't know where. 219 00:13:43,280 --> 00:13:45,400 Speaker 1: I bet I catch you on the phone with nobody. 220 00:13:46,040 --> 00:13:54,839 Speaker 1: You understand all right? Place to stay Instagram. That's your thoughts. 221 00:13:54,880 --> 00:14:01,079 Speaker 1: One today Strawberry Letter, Steve, you're listening, Dave Harday Morning 222 00:14:01,120 --> 00:14:03,760 Speaker 1: showm