WEBVTT - Liz 0:00:01.160 --> 0:00:05.080 Liz Hiccox lives in Newport, Rhode Island, in a postcard 0:00:05.200 --> 0:00:08.720 perfect New England cottage by the water, with her husband Brian, 0:00:08.880 --> 0:00:12.400 and a black lab named Salty. She's an athlete. On 0:00:12.440 --> 0:00:14.920 any given weekend, you'll probably find her on her bike 0:00:15.240 --> 0:00:19.880 training for her next Iron Man. She's been a runner 0:00:19.960 --> 0:00:23.880 for decades, finishing the New York City Marathon a dozen times, 0:00:24.560 --> 0:00:26.720 but she didn't get on a racing bike until two 0:00:26.720 --> 0:00:29.840 thousand and fifteen, after she said she'd do this three 0:00:29.920 --> 0:00:33.800 day charity ride for breast cancer survivors. I had a 0:00:33.920 --> 0:00:36.040 very good friend who was a young survivor. She was 0:00:36.080 --> 0:00:39.040 a mom of about thirty seven, two young kids, who 0:00:39.080 --> 0:00:41.960 was diagnosed in her early thirties. And she would come 0:00:41.960 --> 0:00:44.320 to me and asked for a donation. Every year she 0:00:44.320 --> 0:00:46.040 would do this ride and I would write a check. 0:00:46.479 --> 0:00:50.639 And then one year her friend couldn't participate, and I said, well, 0:00:50.640 --> 0:00:54.240 when's the ride And she said some thirty days as well, 0:00:54.280 --> 0:00:56.280 I'll do it. And she said you have a bike, 0:00:56.320 --> 0:01:00.160 and I said no. She borrowed her friends, crashed at 0:01:00.160 --> 0:01:02.640 the first stop side and I came to I had 0:01:02.680 --> 0:01:05.559 no idea how to shift or anything. I remember riding 0:01:05.840 --> 0:01:08.200 to a hill and found some guy in stretchy shorts 0:01:08.200 --> 0:01:09.880 and said, could you please help me figure out to 0:01:09.880 --> 0:01:11.680 shift this? I don't know how to do this. So 0:01:11.720 --> 0:01:13.959 I went out and trained every day for thirty days. 0:01:14.640 --> 0:01:18.400 She was hooked on both the bike and the organization. 0:01:19.080 --> 0:01:21.520 She met women who said making the ride was the 0:01:21.560 --> 0:01:24.520 goal that had gotten them through chemo. She saw how 0:01:24.520 --> 0:01:28.080 they drew strength from this shared accomplishment, even if they 0:01:28.080 --> 0:01:31.360 could only make it a few miles. The whole experience 0:01:31.440 --> 0:01:34.280 was honestly life changing. And I said to Brian and said, 0:01:34.319 --> 0:01:37.119 you've got to do this. This was a really important event. 0:01:37.200 --> 0:01:40.000 And I couldn't feel more strongly that you know, you 0:01:40.040 --> 0:01:42.160 need to take part in it. And then the next 0:01:42.240 --> 0:01:46.120 year he did. In late September two thousen, a streak 0:01:46.160 --> 0:01:49.800 of tendonitis sidelined her for the Breast Cancer Ride, so 0:01:49.840 --> 0:01:52.640 she volunteered to help at the rest stops, where women 0:01:52.680 --> 0:01:56.120 would take breaks for water and snacks. Everyone's patting each 0:01:56.200 --> 0:01:58.880 on their backs, saying you got this. This is incredible. 0:01:59.200 --> 0:02:03.040 People are singing and cheering, you know, saying, oh my gosh, 0:02:03.040 --> 0:02:05.200 you know that was so hard or that was so easy. 0:02:05.560 --> 0:02:09.040 As the day was winding down, another cyclist came up 0:02:09.080 --> 0:02:12.120 to Liz and asked her a favor. There's a young 0:02:12.160 --> 0:02:14.440 woman that's coming in and she's at the end of 0:02:14.440 --> 0:02:18.560 the pack and she's missed all of the photographers and 0:02:18.600 --> 0:02:21.520 it's her first ride, and we'd really like to get 0:02:21.520 --> 0:02:24.320 her picture. Would you mind snapping a picture for her? 0:02:24.680 --> 0:02:26.600 Can I remember? She said? She has a pink sock 0:02:26.760 --> 0:02:29.240 and she has a green sock on. The woman said 0:02:29.240 --> 0:02:32.399 the writer's name was Sarah, and she had recently been 0:02:32.440 --> 0:02:37.160 diagnosed with stage four breast cancer and that she hadn't 0:02:37.200 --> 0:02:41.359 even told her husband yet. Her husband was away overseas. 0:02:41.400 --> 0:02:43.720 He was a pilot, and she had gotten the news 0:02:44.160 --> 0:02:48.000 while he was away on this particular trip. During this event, 0:02:48.120 --> 0:02:50.320 she had gotten the news that her cancer had progressed, 0:02:51.280 --> 0:02:53.079 and she just didn't know how she was going to 0:02:53.200 --> 0:02:58.360 tell him. Liz felt for Sarah. About twenty minutes later, 0:02:58.560 --> 0:03:01.960 a woman with mis match box came riding by. She 0:03:02.000 --> 0:03:04.480 had flown past me and gone into the rest stop, 0:03:04.520 --> 0:03:06.680 and I said, oh my gosh, you must be Sarah. 0:03:06.720 --> 0:03:08.720 I said, can you need me a favor? I said, 0:03:08.800 --> 0:03:11.679 can you go back out, turn around and ride back 0:03:11.720 --> 0:03:13.519 in because I had one job, and I was to 0:03:13.600 --> 0:03:16.760 get your picture, and she laughed, and she did, and 0:03:16.840 --> 0:03:19.320 she she came back in and I snapped her photo, 0:03:20.400 --> 0:03:22.720 and I said, what's your number? I'm going to text 0:03:22.760 --> 0:03:26.520 it to you. As the months passed, their friendship grew, 0:03:26.840 --> 0:03:30.440 with message exchanges quickly ballooning from one a day to 0:03:30.600 --> 0:03:33.840 sometimes a hundred or more. Sarah did have a way 0:03:34.000 --> 0:03:38.400 of quickly turning a casual text feed into an emotional avalanche. 0:03:39.360 --> 0:03:42.480 The following spring, Sarah told Liz there was a more 0:03:42.560 --> 0:03:46.480 immediate threat to her life even than cancer, a stalker, 0:03:46.840 --> 0:03:50.560 someone obsessed with her good looking husband. She said that 0:03:50.640 --> 0:03:53.200 she was smitten with her husband and that she was 0:03:53.280 --> 0:03:57.240 sending him messages saying that after Sarah was gone, they'd 0:03:57.280 --> 0:04:01.520 be together, and she was saying to Sarah, You're not 0:04:01.640 --> 0:04:05.720 pretty enough for him. This hit Liz hard. She had 0:04:05.800 --> 0:04:08.800 told Sarah that when she was nineteen, a classmate of 0:04:08.800 --> 0:04:12.240 hers had been killed by a stalker. Over the course 0:04:12.240 --> 0:04:15.560 of the next forty eight hours or so, Sarah would 0:04:15.600 --> 0:04:18.479 tell me, I'm at the gym. Oh my gosh, she's outside. 0:04:19.400 --> 0:04:21.839 She's I can see her parked out there. She's looking 0:04:21.880 --> 0:04:24.400 at me. She even sent Liz a video when she 0:04:24.480 --> 0:04:27.280 was trying to dodge her. She's wearing a scarf wrapped 0:04:27.279 --> 0:04:30.160 around her head and glistening with sweat while she's at 0:04:30.160 --> 0:04:34.080 the gym. Sarah's out of breath, but her voice is confident, 0:04:34.440 --> 0:04:37.599 even defiant. I'm not gonna let her take this away 0:04:37.640 --> 0:04:42.719 from me. I'm bigger than that. So for forty eight hours, 0:04:42.720 --> 0:04:45.880 she had me wrapped in this web of drama of 0:04:46.000 --> 0:04:49.559 high intensity with this stalker who was now attacking my friend, 0:04:50.040 --> 0:04:53.479 who I thought was already under attack of a terminal illness. 0:04:53.880 --> 0:04:59.600 I couldn't breathe, my chest was heavy. The next day, 0:04:59.640 --> 0:05:02.200 Sarah told Liz she wanted to face time with her. 0:05:02.240 --> 0:05:05.560 As she walked out of a Walmart and she said, Liz, 0:05:05.640 --> 0:05:10.160 she's there. I said, what do you mean? And says, 0:05:10.200 --> 0:05:14.120 she's there between the cars by my car. What do 0:05:14.160 --> 0:05:16.559 I do? I said, you need to run into the store. 0:05:17.200 --> 0:05:20.760 And so she ran into the store and she said, 0:05:20.800 --> 0:05:23.479 oh my god, she has a gun. The phone went 0:05:23.600 --> 0:05:26.680 dead for more than a minute, with Liz frantic on 0:05:26.720 --> 0:05:30.600 the other end. Then she got a text and she 0:05:30.680 --> 0:05:35.360 said they got her. Seven people were shot. She said, 0:05:35.520 --> 0:05:39.479 I took a bullet in the knee. Sarah told Liz. 0:05:39.640 --> 0:05:42.560 She was in an ambulance. A couple of days later, 0:05:42.600 --> 0:05:45.720 to get more details about the shooting, Liz's husband Brian 0:05:45.839 --> 0:05:49.159 called up a friend in law enforcement, a guy named Tom, 0:05:49.440 --> 0:05:52.360 And as I'm talking on the phone, I said, oh wait, 0:05:52.560 --> 0:05:55.840 you know what, I've never actually googled Sarah's name. I 0:05:55.839 --> 0:05:59.800 should probably do that. He typed Sarah de Lashman into 0:05:59.800 --> 0:06:07.120 this search. Barn I said, Holy sh it, Tom, I'm 0:06:07.200 --> 0:06:12.280 Laura Beale. You're listening to Sympathy Pains. This is episode 0:06:12.320 --> 0:06:22.799 three Liz. Liz and Brian are one of those couples 0:06:22.839 --> 0:06:26.640 who actually found true love in a bar, in the 0:06:26.680 --> 0:06:30.520 biggest pickup bar you could ever meet, in Wellington, Florida. 0:06:32.080 --> 0:06:36.039 It was April of two thousand five. Liz is an equestrian, 0:06:36.200 --> 0:06:38.600 and she was in Florida competing at a horse show. 0:06:39.320 --> 0:06:41.000 I was leaving to go home to Rhode Island the 0:06:41.040 --> 0:06:43.640 next day, literally less than twelve hours later, and he 0:06:43.839 --> 0:06:46.480 had just arrived in Florida. He was the only guy 0:06:46.960 --> 0:06:49.440 there that you know, probably had a pickup truck and 0:06:49.440 --> 0:06:51.360 a yellow lab and I was definitely the only girl 0:06:51.400 --> 0:06:55.360 there in a baseball hat and jeans. He um vaguely 0:06:55.400 --> 0:06:57.320 reminded me of Kenny Chesney, and that was a good 0:06:57.360 --> 0:07:00.359 thing at that point in my life. She was a 0:07:00.360 --> 0:07:02.720 New York City native who had left the city for 0:07:02.760 --> 0:07:06.400 good after nine eleven. He was working in Florida for 0:07:06.560 --> 0:07:10.280 Merrill Lynch. He came up for a couple of dates 0:07:10.280 --> 0:07:12.120 in Newport and he said, you know what, I can 0:07:12.200 --> 0:07:14.600 really live here. And then literally after three dates, I 0:07:14.600 --> 0:07:17.200 said to him, you can. You can be my boyfriend 0:07:17.240 --> 0:07:19.720 if you want, but you have to move here, and 0:07:19.760 --> 0:07:22.880 he did. They married after dating for about a year 0:07:22.920 --> 0:07:25.920 and a half and ended up founding a financial services 0:07:25.960 --> 0:07:29.920 business together in Rhode Island. Every winter, they relocate to 0:07:29.960 --> 0:07:33.239 a rented bungalow in Florida, just a mile from shore 0:07:33.320 --> 0:07:36.760 on the Intercoastal Waterway. You pretty much wake up every 0:07:36.800 --> 0:07:44.119 day and I love our life. Back in the fall 0:07:44.200 --> 0:07:47.000 of two thousand and eighteen, after the bike ride where 0:07:47.000 --> 0:07:51.040 she met Sarah, Liz started noticing Sarah's posts on the 0:07:51.160 --> 0:07:55.920 organization's private Facebook group, pictures of herself sitting in what 0:07:56.160 --> 0:07:59.880 looked like um hospital bed with tubes running and taped 0:08:00.080 --> 0:08:03.160 her shirt, wearing a cancer scarf with you know, a 0:08:03.280 --> 0:08:05.720 thumbs up or so. A lot of times She would 0:08:05.760 --> 0:08:09.320 have headphones on and she would say, you know, getting 0:08:09.720 --> 0:08:13.480 getting the juice today, looking for prayers and support, you know, 0:08:13.520 --> 0:08:17.320 going in for a scan today, you know, wish me luck. 0:08:18.160 --> 0:08:21.600 They touched me because I knew of her as a 0:08:21.680 --> 0:08:26.720 young mom whose husband was away, who was battling stage 0:08:26.760 --> 0:08:32.240 four cancer, and I felt completely helpless. It's something that 0:08:33.080 --> 0:08:36.520 spoke to me. For several weeks after the bike ride, 0:08:36.760 --> 0:08:41.160 Liz would write messages of support under the photos. Christmas 0:08:41.160 --> 0:08:44.920 time came. One day in December, Liz pulled a handful 0:08:44.960 --> 0:08:48.040 of holiday envelopes out of her mailbox and found a 0:08:48.080 --> 0:08:53.960 card from Sarah, a photo card of perhaps nine photos 0:08:54.920 --> 0:08:57.280 a little girl with one of those giant bows on 0:08:57.320 --> 0:09:00.840 her head, and she had little white socks on and 0:09:00.960 --> 0:09:04.000 black Patton white or black Patent leather shoes, like little 0:09:04.000 --> 0:09:07.800 girl shoes. And that was the Christmas card from Sarah 0:09:08.120 --> 0:09:11.960 James and Bindy, her fourteen month old daughter. And I thought, 0:09:12.040 --> 0:09:16.439 oh cute when I saved it. And shortly thereafter, probably 0:09:16.600 --> 0:09:20.360 literally days later, Brian and I left for Florida for 0:09:20.400 --> 0:09:25.080 the winter. We pack up our house, we head down south, 0:09:25.200 --> 0:09:27.840 we take our office, we take our dog, and we 0:09:27.920 --> 0:09:31.240 literally kind of move our work home life for a 0:09:31.280 --> 0:09:35.559 couple of months during the winter. In January, Liz got 0:09:35.559 --> 0:09:39.079 a message from Sarah through Facebook Messenger. It said her 0:09:39.120 --> 0:09:42.080 cancer had progressed and she had tumors in her liver 0:09:42.200 --> 0:09:46.640 and brain. After that, Liz and Sarah began exchanging notes 0:09:46.679 --> 0:09:49.439 almost every day. As soon as someone messages me, I 0:09:49.440 --> 0:09:50.600 feel like I have to get right back to them 0:09:50.600 --> 0:09:52.960 where they're going to be insulted or hurt in some way, 0:09:53.080 --> 0:09:57.040 so you know, I would respond, which would prompt another 0:09:57.080 --> 0:10:00.000 response from her, And lots of conversations and dare's her 0:10:00.000 --> 0:10:02.199 need to get more regular at this point, and we 0:10:02.200 --> 0:10:06.040 were just talking about life and her chemo and her treatment. 0:10:06.960 --> 0:10:11.120 Weeks of message exchanges drew them closer as Sarah underwent 0:10:11.240 --> 0:10:15.520 grueling treatments. Liz wrote encouragement, you got this, and she 0:10:15.600 --> 0:10:19.240 started calling Sarah's sister friend, trying to make her feel loved. 0:10:23.200 --> 0:10:26.640 In February of two thousand nineteen, Sarah said she was 0:10:26.679 --> 0:10:29.240 going to be in southern Florida that she worked as 0:10:29.280 --> 0:10:32.679 a flight attendant, which allowed her easy travel. She wanted 0:10:32.720 --> 0:10:35.520 to visit Liz and Brian, saying I'm going to take 0:10:35.520 --> 0:10:37.680 a chance here and I'm going to drive up and 0:10:37.720 --> 0:10:41.679 I'm going to see you. And part of me was like, wow, 0:10:42.760 --> 0:10:46.200 you know she trust me enough. That's that's really great. 0:10:46.320 --> 0:10:49.319 This woman who is, you know, fighting for her life 0:10:49.320 --> 0:10:54.600 every day, values me and trusts me enough and us 0:10:55.400 --> 0:10:58.400 to come visit us. And I was a little nervous 0:10:58.400 --> 0:11:03.080 about that, excited and honestly honored, and at that point 0:11:04.080 --> 0:11:06.360 it kind of became my duty to make sure she 0:11:06.480 --> 0:11:09.680 had a wonderful experience. And I had to say to her. 0:11:09.720 --> 0:11:12.280 I said, Sarah, you know, we have a very small 0:11:12.600 --> 0:11:14.960 cottage here. It's just one bedroom. We don't even have 0:11:15.040 --> 0:11:20.800 a couch. But Liz's mother, Maggie, a Florida retiree, lived nearby. 0:11:20.920 --> 0:11:23.480 It was the main reason they headed south every year. 0:11:24.280 --> 0:11:26.760 So she calls me up and I picked up the phone. Hello. 0:11:27.160 --> 0:11:30.560 She asked me if she could have a friend of hers, 0:11:30.640 --> 0:11:34.040 who she met on this spike ride, come and spend 0:11:34.559 --> 0:11:38.280 the weekend with us, because after rule, she doesn't have 0:11:38.440 --> 0:11:42.199 enough room in her place. She said, Mom, Sarah is 0:11:42.360 --> 0:11:46.960 final stage cancer. And as soon as I heard that, 0:11:47.679 --> 0:11:52.360 my heart dropped, my stomach left and it was like, Elizabeth, fine, 0:11:52.600 --> 0:11:57.960 she can't come, Okay, no problem. So that's where Sarah stayed, 0:11:58.640 --> 0:12:01.360 she wanted to do a try etheln and she wanted 0:12:01.400 --> 0:12:04.200 to be like my daughter Elizabeth. We thought we were 0:12:04.240 --> 0:12:07.160 going to give her a life changing experience in a weekend. 0:12:10.360 --> 0:12:13.520 Liz hadn't seen Sarah in person since the bike ride 0:12:13.520 --> 0:12:17.160 where they met. She arrived wearing a scarf around her 0:12:17.160 --> 0:12:21.040 head and a wig. Brian, Liz, and Sarah spent the 0:12:21.120 --> 0:12:25.160 next day cycling around Jupiter Island, a perfect Florida winter 0:12:25.240 --> 0:12:28.920 day with a warm sun and an ocean breeze. Sarah 0:12:28.960 --> 0:12:34.560 seemed to struggle but made the ride. We went back 0:12:34.600 --> 0:12:38.840 to our house, the cottage, and she went back to 0:12:38.920 --> 0:12:41.840 my parents house where she was going to go home, 0:12:42.400 --> 0:12:45.040 you know, shower up, get ready for dinner. I think 0:12:45.080 --> 0:12:47.520 she said she needed to take a nap and call 0:12:47.600 --> 0:12:51.720 her husband, etcetera. By now, my mother is completely enchanted 0:12:51.760 --> 0:12:56.360 with her, and I think at this point Sarah is 0:12:56.360 --> 0:12:59.560 already calling her mom. My mother is one of the 0:12:59.640 --> 0:13:02.680 kindest people on this earth and is getting up in 0:13:02.679 --> 0:13:05.640 the morning before Sarah rides and making sure she has 0:13:05.640 --> 0:13:09.320 a full breakfast. That evening, Brian and Liz stopped and 0:13:09.360 --> 0:13:14.200 bought fresh fish. Brian made tacos for dinner. Afterwards, they 0:13:14.240 --> 0:13:16.840 sat in their backyard at the water's edge, under the 0:13:16.880 --> 0:13:20.640 shade of a bishop wood tree. It's a really peaceful place. 0:13:20.640 --> 0:13:23.600 There's a hammock there, and Sarah sat in the hammock 0:13:23.679 --> 0:13:26.400 and she said, this is now my happy place. Remember 0:13:26.480 --> 0:13:28.439 giving her a margarite to thinking, oh my gosh, is 0:13:28.480 --> 0:13:31.960 this okay? Can I do this? And candidly I needed 0:13:31.960 --> 0:13:34.719 that margharita myself so much because this dress was so 0:13:34.760 --> 0:13:39.120 great about you have someone's life in your hands. You know, 0:13:39.840 --> 0:13:42.480 this woman is battling a terminal illness, and here I 0:13:42.520 --> 0:13:46.280 am giving her a margharita. Is it okay? They sipped 0:13:46.280 --> 0:13:50.640 their cocktails and talked about life and death. Remember, she 0:13:50.640 --> 0:13:52.880 said to me, I don't want to be forgotten. I 0:13:52.920 --> 0:13:55.920 was sitting in kind of beach chair and I looked 0:13:55.960 --> 0:13:58.120 over at the one of the palm trees that's by 0:13:58.160 --> 0:14:02.400 the water, and I thought, my goodness forgotten. Like just 0:14:02.480 --> 0:14:07.520 imagine being a young mom, a wife and thinking two 0:14:07.640 --> 0:14:10.600 years from now people might not remember me. That just 0:14:10.679 --> 0:14:15.040 really got me. Monday morning came time for Sarah to leave. 0:14:15.800 --> 0:14:19.480 Liz and Brian had to work. As Sarah left, they 0:14:19.520 --> 0:14:21.960 stood in front of the house and pose for pictures, 0:14:22.240 --> 0:14:24.840 the three of them and the dog. We all had 0:14:24.840 --> 0:14:28.840 our arms around each other, you know, we literally hugged 0:14:28.840 --> 0:14:30.800 her like we didn't know if we were going to 0:14:30.840 --> 0:14:35.880 see her again. It was very emotional. I remember her tears. Yeah, Um, 0:14:36.160 --> 0:14:39.680 she started to cry, and I mean, I know Lizzie did, 0:14:39.720 --> 0:14:42.960 and I would have had a at least a tear drop. 0:14:46.840 --> 0:14:50.640 Sarah got in her rented car and drove off. We 0:14:50.720 --> 0:14:56.920 are just honestly exhausted from caring about her, from talking, 0:14:57.040 --> 0:15:01.920 from crying, worrying, and we sat in the backyard and 0:15:02.000 --> 0:15:05.960 oh my gosh, I'm just exhausted. And then around five 0:15:06.040 --> 0:15:09.040 pm that evening we got a text, a text from 0:15:09.040 --> 0:15:12.280 her saying, guess what, guys, my flight was canceled. I'm 0:15:12.320 --> 0:15:17.640 coming back. We can have fish tacos again. And honestly, 0:15:17.680 --> 0:15:19.560 at that moment, I looked at Brian and I was like, 0:15:19.760 --> 0:15:22.000 oh my gosh, I don't know if if I can. 0:15:22.440 --> 0:15:25.080 I don't find the energy, you know, but what we 0:15:25.120 --> 0:15:29.320 have to do this. Sarah stayed the extra night. The 0:15:29.400 --> 0:15:33.600 next weekend. Liz's mom was doing a triathlon that week. 0:15:33.760 --> 0:15:37.120 Brian got a text from Sarah saying, Hey, I'd like 0:15:37.280 --> 0:15:42.600 to come down this weekend to cheer on Mom. And 0:15:43.240 --> 0:15:46.080 you know, I said, I fully understand. I mean, obviously 0:15:46.400 --> 0:15:49.200 Mom has given you a lot to Sarah and and 0:15:49.240 --> 0:15:51.440 I thought that was very nice. It was probably what 0:15:51.560 --> 0:15:53.720 six o'clock or so in the morning on the day 0:15:53.720 --> 0:15:56.840 of the race, and I knew that Sarah was on 0:15:56.880 --> 0:16:00.200 her way, but he didn't mention anything to live or 0:16:00.200 --> 0:16:03.920 her mom. He wanted Sarah's second visit to be a surprise. 0:16:04.640 --> 0:16:07.360 I remember putting my mom's bike helmet on her, like 0:16:07.480 --> 0:16:09.480 dropping it on her, and I just thought the irony, 0:16:09.640 --> 0:16:11.960 like here I am putting my mom's bike helmet on, 0:16:12.040 --> 0:16:14.800 like she's my kid, you know, she's seventy seven years old. 0:16:14.920 --> 0:16:17.160 And someone topped me on the shoulder from behind me 0:16:17.560 --> 0:16:22.920 and lo and behold, who's there but Sarah. Sarah had 0:16:23.000 --> 0:16:26.520 flown in the night before, stayed in a hotel in 0:16:26.600 --> 0:16:30.600 Fort Lauderdale, and drove up from Fort Laiderdale to Stewart 0:16:31.000 --> 0:16:34.480 to be there at six o'clock in the morning to 0:16:34.600 --> 0:16:40.760 be at my first triathlon. Elizabeth had made T shirts 0:16:41.360 --> 0:16:44.080 for me, and on the back of the T shirt 0:16:44.800 --> 0:16:51.400 it said te Meg's te for Team Meg's, m Ags 0:16:51.760 --> 0:16:54.840 for Maggie and you know, who also had the same 0:16:54.880 --> 0:17:00.880 T shirt Sarah. Maggie was touched. She must really adore 0:17:00.960 --> 0:17:04.119 Elizabeth to do something like that, and she doesn't think 0:17:04.119 --> 0:17:08.200 too badly of me either. Is just you know, hey, 0:17:08.760 --> 0:17:11.080 I can't even get my husband to get up at 0:17:11.080 --> 0:17:14.080 six in the morning to go to Marathon's with me. 0:17:15.200 --> 0:17:19.720 So there was another Sarah weekend the bike's Hammock Tacos. 0:17:20.320 --> 0:17:22.600 We just took her out solely on the boat to 0:17:22.640 --> 0:17:26.639 see the flying Fish that Saturday night. Sitting on the 0:17:26.680 --> 0:17:31.160 couch with Maggie's Chihuahua Pedro in her lap, Sarah calmly 0:17:31.200 --> 0:17:34.720 talked about a stalker that was after her. He felt 0:17:34.760 --> 0:17:38.439 sorry for this girl with the stalk rafter and dying 0:17:38.480 --> 0:17:43.400 a cancer and with the wig and this and all that, 0:17:43.480 --> 0:17:46.440 and all she was trying to do was do a 0:17:46.800 --> 0:17:51.440 triathlon before she died. Sensing that Sarah was working her 0:17:51.440 --> 0:17:55.080 way deeper into the family, Brian made it clear to 0:17:55.119 --> 0:17:58.560 Sarah that she absolutely could not come for a third 0:17:58.640 --> 0:18:01.639 weekend in a row. My father was coming in for 0:18:01.720 --> 0:18:04.280 a visit with his his girlfriend at the time, and 0:18:04.560 --> 0:18:07.080 next weekend, just you can't, you can't come, you know, 0:18:07.119 --> 0:18:08.960 not that we've been making plans for it, but just 0:18:09.040 --> 0:18:13.600 like we can't have a a surprise, but this was Sarah. 0:18:13.880 --> 0:18:20.000 Sarah was full of surprises. The last weekend in February 0:18:20.119 --> 0:18:23.679 two thou nineteen was a family gathering for Liz and Brian. 0:18:24.359 --> 0:18:27.639 Brian's dad was visiting. They went fishing in the boat 0:18:27.680 --> 0:18:30.720 that anchors just off their backyard. They caught a tuna 0:18:30.920 --> 0:18:33.760 and came back to the dock. I just put the 0:18:33.760 --> 0:18:36.720 fish down, and that's when she walked in the backyard 0:18:36.800 --> 0:18:42.439 and I'll just never forget the hi guys. And I 0:18:42.480 --> 0:18:45.600 looked up and I sare and I did not say 0:18:45.600 --> 0:18:49.560 a word. I just kind of walked past her. I 0:18:49.600 --> 0:18:52.800 walked to the house and I took a moment, and 0:18:52.880 --> 0:18:56.120 Lizzie came in a minute or so later, and she 0:18:56.400 --> 0:18:58.919 kind of yelled at me, and she said, you you 0:18:58.960 --> 0:19:00.880 can't be rude like that, and I said, I'll be fine. 0:19:00.920 --> 0:19:02.720 I just I just need a minute. She was not 0:19:02.840 --> 0:19:05.399 welcome for the weekend, but I'm not gonna say anything. 0:19:06.000 --> 0:19:08.080 And so she spent the weekend you know, with me 0:19:08.160 --> 0:19:11.200 and my father and us, and she crashed our family 0:19:11.240 --> 0:19:15.560 reunion in every way. But they made the best of it. 0:19:16.040 --> 0:19:17.960 And by this time she's gotten to be one of 0:19:18.000 --> 0:19:21.840 the family. Pago looks for a When Sarah pulled up 0:19:21.880 --> 0:19:26.080 to the house, Maggie noticed something different about her rental car. 0:19:26.600 --> 0:19:29.480 It had a bike rack and strapped to it. It 0:19:29.560 --> 0:19:31.880 was a beautiful bike. It looked like it was brand new. 0:19:32.560 --> 0:19:35.760 I think it was maroon, and they're not cheap, these 0:19:35.840 --> 0:19:42.600 marathon bikes. Brian and Liz made it clear in the 0:19:42.760 --> 0:19:45.959 starkest of terms that she could not come back for 0:19:46.080 --> 0:19:49.240 yet another weekend, telling her as much as I would 0:19:49.240 --> 0:19:53.160 love to see you next weekend, I really need to focus. 0:19:53.280 --> 0:19:55.560 I haven't seen any of my friends or family. I 0:19:55.640 --> 0:19:59.359 haven't been able to do any work. I have my 0:19:59.400 --> 0:20:02.800 own races. I needed trade for next weekend. I need 0:20:03.000 --> 0:20:07.080 just to catch up. I've been the worst friend. I 0:20:07.119 --> 0:20:10.840 haven't seen my parents alone. They told Sarah they had 0:20:10.880 --> 0:20:14.920 plans a good friend was getting married. I've missed all 0:20:14.960 --> 0:20:18.480 of the bridal things that my dear friend needs me 0:20:18.520 --> 0:20:21.719 to do. I need this weekend to myself. But Sarah 0:20:21.880 --> 0:20:27.080 burrowed into Lizz's life anyway. It was early March two 0:20:27.080 --> 0:20:31.360 thousand nineteen when Liz first started getting messages about her stalker. 0:20:31.800 --> 0:20:35.000 Sarah wrote, I'm hiding in the bathtub. I cam afraid 0:20:35.040 --> 0:20:39.320 to leave my house. And then from Sarah's husband James, 0:20:39.400 --> 0:20:43.240 messaging me when she's not saying she's having a panic attack. 0:20:43.320 --> 0:20:45.800 You're the only person that can talk to her. She'll 0:20:45.840 --> 0:20:49.959 only listen to you. For two days, Liz was sucked 0:20:50.000 --> 0:20:54.199 into the vortex of Sarah in trouble, culminating with the 0:20:54.240 --> 0:21:00.239 shooting at an Illinois Walmart. I'm absolutely exhausted because been 0:21:00.400 --> 0:21:05.119 forty eight hours of the stalker chasing her, following her, 0:21:05.640 --> 0:21:09.199 threatening her, and now you know, chasing her down to 0:21:09.240 --> 0:21:12.320 the walmart and showing up with a gun after her 0:21:12.520 --> 0:21:15.960 and there's shots fired. I'm exhausted. I just can't even 0:21:16.040 --> 0:21:20.960 believe what just happened. But something about it struck Brian 0:21:21.119 --> 0:21:26.200 as off. We are starting to, of course, look for 0:21:26.240 --> 0:21:29.159 any record of a shooting at at a Walmart in 0:21:29.480 --> 0:21:31.800 you know, in Illinois, where seven people are shy like 0:21:31.840 --> 0:21:35.159 you're going to see something in the news, and nothing 0:21:35.200 --> 0:21:37.480 was in the news, and we found that to be strange. 0:21:37.960 --> 0:21:41.400 Sarah had an explanation. She said the FBI was trying 0:21:41.440 --> 0:21:43.600 to keep it quiet that they had told her to 0:21:43.640 --> 0:21:46.600 go to the store to lure the stalker out. What 0:21:46.760 --> 0:21:49.440 she didn't know was that Liz and Brian had a 0:21:49.480 --> 0:21:55.439 friend with FBI connections. Their friend Tom, our friend, openly laughed. 0:21:55.480 --> 0:21:58.200 He's like, that's not how it works. He made a 0:21:58.240 --> 0:22:01.399 quick call to the local station there and they said, no, 0:22:01.480 --> 0:22:04.000 there's there hasn't been a shooting here, you know, maybe 0:22:04.119 --> 0:22:07.439 maybe not ever. And that is when Brian began to 0:22:07.520 --> 0:22:11.119 ask a question, a question that many people had asked 0:22:11.119 --> 0:22:17.040 before him and would ask later. Who is Sarah Delashman. 0:22:26.200 --> 0:22:30.960 It was March seventh, two. Brian Hickocks was on his 0:22:31.040 --> 0:22:34.640 phone in the backyard pacing. After learning from his law 0:22:34.720 --> 0:22:38.439 enforcement friend that there had been no Walmart shooting, Brian 0:22:38.560 --> 0:22:41.760 googled Sarah's name on his phone. He clicked on the 0:22:41.840 --> 0:22:45.920 first hit. The first article that came up was that 0:22:46.560 --> 0:22:49.639 there's a record of Sarah losing her nursing license in 0:22:49.640 --> 0:22:53.399 the state of Virginia. The document was from almost five 0:22:53.480 --> 0:22:59.679 years earlier, dated July two, fourteen. Sarah was living in Virginia. 0:23:00.320 --> 0:23:02.960 That's where she met Naomi, the college student who tried 0:23:03.000 --> 0:23:06.919 to support her through miscarriages and an abusive boyfriend. The 0:23:07.040 --> 0:23:10.960 Virginian Nursing Board was pulling Sara's license because they learned 0:23:11.000 --> 0:23:12.960 that she had lost her license in the state of 0:23:13.000 --> 0:23:18.000 Oklahoma earlier that year. Document said that Sara was working 0:23:18.040 --> 0:23:21.000 as a nurse in the neonatal Intensive Care unit at 0:23:21.000 --> 0:23:24.920 Oklahoma University Medical Center in the fall of two thousand twelve. 0:23:25.640 --> 0:23:28.840 During that time, over a period of about four months, 0:23:28.880 --> 0:23:31.800 she started stuffing pillows under her clothes so she would 0:23:31.800 --> 0:23:34.959 look pregnant. She showed her co workers copies of an 0:23:35.040 --> 0:23:39.120 ultrasound of twins, and then at some point she said 0:23:39.160 --> 0:23:42.359 she had delivered the twins prematurely and they had died. 0:23:43.600 --> 0:23:46.879 The report also said it was the second time she 0:23:46.960 --> 0:23:50.720 had faked a pregnancy as a nurse. In her testimony 0:23:50.720 --> 0:23:53.199 to the nursing board, she said she pretended to be 0:23:53.320 --> 0:23:56.440 pregnant to make friends, that she had seen how much 0:23:56.480 --> 0:24:00.439 support women got when they lost a baby. Faced with 0:24:00.480 --> 0:24:03.399 the discipline that could result from a formal hearing, she 0:24:03.560 --> 0:24:09.000 surrendered her Oklahoma nursing license on May two, fourteen. If 0:24:09.000 --> 0:24:11.960 she wanted to get her license back, the board recommended 0:24:12.000 --> 0:24:18.040 a psychiatric evaluation. Standing under the bishop Wood tree, staring 0:24:18.080 --> 0:24:22.000 at his phone, Brian was astonished. I walked back into 0:24:22.040 --> 0:24:25.040 the house and I said, Lizzie do not contact her again. 0:24:25.080 --> 0:24:27.560