Speaker 1: Are you leaving? I you on your way back home?
Speaker 2: Either way, we want to be there.
Speaker 3: Doesn't matter how much baggage you claim and give us
Speaker 3: time and they termino and gage.
Speaker 2: We want to send you off inside. We wanna welcome
Speaker 2: you back home.
Speaker 3: Tell us all about it.
Speaker 1: We scared her? Was it fine? Melborn? Do you need
Speaker 1: to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need
Speaker 1: to ride? Do your need you ride?
Speaker 2: Ride with Karen and Chris. You're listening, so do you
Speaker 2: need to ride? Welcome? I know I'm trying to mix
Speaker 2: it up. That was totally on purpose. You're listening to
Speaker 2: do you need to ride? Already? So welcome. My name
Speaker 2: is Chris.
Speaker 1: Fairbanks and I'm Karen Tilgarriff.
Speaker 4: We got thrown off. There was a red light run
Speaker 4: right in front of us. We started with drama. I
Speaker 4: promise that drama won't stop.
Speaker 3: We're like some sort of HBO it doesn't exist anymore
Speaker 3: HBO show where it starts with a gunshot and you're like, wait,
Speaker 3: I just got to know that person.
Speaker 1: You already killed them off?
Speaker 3: Yes, we will do that in this it's a podcast version,
Speaker 3: so it's much more looky.
Speaker 4: It's like a it's like a cold open. It reveals
Speaker 4: a lot about what you're going to see.
Speaker 3: Yes, and just make no assumptions. Nothing is safe, No
Speaker 3: one is. Anybody could run a red light. Mercury is
Speaker 3: fully in retrograde in a very intense way.
Speaker 2: Yeah, because of the moon. You have no idea what's
Speaker 2: going to happen today?
Speaker 4: Yep, you think that that is a telling moment, the
Speaker 4: red light running. This is going to be this whole
Speaker 4: podcast is going to get turned up on its head.
Speaker 2: Try and predict what's going to happen.
Speaker 1: In fact, three guesses right now, Chris, what's going to happen?
Speaker 4: We will see a grouping of diagonal fire trucks. Yes,
Speaker 4: we are going to see a child alone in a
Speaker 4: park with no adults around and a cause for concern.
Speaker 2: I know that's specific, but.
Speaker 4: I'm just leaking something that I saw on the way there.
Speaker 2: I almost pulled over. And why is this car they're
Speaker 2: almost touching?
Speaker 1: They literally were almost too.
Speaker 2: I wanted to pull over. I saw a little boy
Speaker 2: in a giant park over here and there's no adults round, Like,
Speaker 2: why is there like a toddler?
Speaker 3: Was it the one that's kind of near the freeway. Yes,
Speaker 3: the parent or guardian. I bet you was sitting at
Speaker 3: the base of a tree. So it's almost like you
Speaker 3: can go anywhere around here, because I used to walk
Speaker 3: the outside of that park for exercise. And there's a
Speaker 3: lot of free range child fake fakery where that child
Speaker 3: believes that they do have the ability to.
Speaker 4: Go where if they want free range child. That's the
Speaker 4: only restaurant all of it had.
Speaker 2: I feel like that parent.
Speaker 4: There was no trees nearby, though, I really I slowed
Speaker 4: down and I'm like, what is happening?
Speaker 1: That is scary?
Speaker 2: Too bad? I have somewhere to be.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and then you slowed down and then you hit
Speaker 3: that gas and said, don't get me involved.
Speaker 1: Yeah, this is not my problem.
Speaker 2: There are days where I have to be selfish and
Speaker 2: this was one of them.
Speaker 3: Yeah, because we have to a podcast instead of save
Speaker 3: a child's life, I don't.
Speaker 4: I do feel like I should have done something. And
Speaker 4: what is that's the third thing you did ask for
Speaker 4: three things that we will see today?
Speaker 2: Oh, it might be this hot off the presses.
Speaker 5: Uh.
Speaker 4: Oh, I'm back on the road. And who has a
Speaker 4: gift card to say in our bucks? But from Christian
Speaker 4: Whitney and Boise. Oh my God, says skip the lemonade
Speaker 4: in your coffee this time, and ready.
Speaker 1: To use Whitney and Christy. Is that their names?
Speaker 2: It is, yes, Christy and Whitney from Boise in any order.
Speaker 1: That's so nice. Thank you so much, Christian Whitney.
Speaker 2: It's happening again.
Speaker 1: It's like the cards are coming back.
Speaker 3: Yes, sweet asked, because we were out completely right.
Speaker 6: Oh, I have.
Speaker 2: Others and I will continue to bring them.
Speaker 3: I mean you should be forced to report them like
Speaker 3: a government tax I will.
Speaker 4: You know what I'll do is I'll bring them. We'll
Speaker 4: just rest them in the console here.
Speaker 3: They will get stolen out because I constantly leave my
Speaker 3: car out irresponsibly.
Speaker 1: I'm totally joking.
Speaker 2: You think that there will be smash and grab well.
Speaker 1: Or just the door is open and just a grab.
Speaker 4: Oh, just like a casual friendly. I'm gonna steal this,
Speaker 4: but not break your window grab.
Speaker 1: It used to happen at my other house all the time.
Speaker 1: In my Honda Fit.
Speaker 3: I would come out there and the middle box would
Speaker 3: be kind of rifled through, and it would be like
Speaker 3: I took your EarPods that still have a cord on them,
Speaker 3: or some shit like that.
Speaker 4: Yeah, well, this space Age vehicle probably has a voice that.
Speaker 1: Says, do not do this. You will regret this.
Speaker 3: The door is a jar, don't be a white supremacist,
Speaker 3: even though our company is having serious problems.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that one rarely comes up. But if this car
Speaker 2: will say that, I hope that that doesn't happen.
Speaker 4: But I do think this is a good place to
Speaker 4: keep some of the Starbucks cars.
Speaker 1: I did not have a dozen. Here's the thing.
Speaker 3: I didn't mean to ruin what is my my favorite
Speaker 3: news because we would get those. I would get them
Speaker 3: on the road when I was on the road, and
Speaker 3: you would get them when you would get them, and
Speaker 3: we would keep them because people would be giving us
Speaker 3: like twenty five or fifty dollars on a gift card,
Speaker 3: like multiple beverages.
Speaker 2: Yep.
Speaker 1: So nice.
Speaker 4: It is very nice, and it's happening again. It's like
Speaker 4: memory Lane, except it's a future lane. It's a good
Speaker 4: present lane. Love Ith. Yeah, it's so.
Speaker 1: How is your show in Boise Boys was great?
Speaker 2: I was worried going there because I love Boise, Idaho.
Speaker 4: It's one of those you know, it's a it's a
Speaker 4: capital city town. So even though it's a very red state.
Speaker 4: They no longer have access to abortion. There there's men
Speaker 4: with gone open caerry like Texas style, which and I
Speaker 4: happen to arrive on their Pride weekend.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 4: Which when there's men with guns, even if they're you know, sportsmen,
Speaker 4: my favorite athlete, the man with the gun.
Speaker 2: Uh there, it just made me nervous.
Speaker 1: And yeah, but it's supposed.
Speaker 2: To yes, and and you know, weed is very illegal,
Speaker 2: and not that I'm a huge weed person, but I
Speaker 2: did have a joint in my pocket that was a gift, and.
Speaker 1: I thought that's very scary.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but I I went to the The Pride parade
Speaker 4: was early, it was like nine in the morning, but it.
Speaker 2: Was so sweet. I saw like an little old guy
Speaker 2: and his overalls in his lawn chair by himself, and
Speaker 2: he had his little rainbow flag.
Speaker 6: It was enough to oh, yeah, I love it, dude.
Speaker 2: Do know that my eyelids were not arid?
Speaker 4: I yeah, like, And when I got picked up the
Speaker 4: uber at the airport, my driver was a older guy,
Speaker 4: seventy year old man with fishing lures in his hat,
Speaker 4: and he was telling me about everything happening that weekend. Well,
Speaker 4: there's the football game and the art's fair and it's
Speaker 4: it's Pride Week. And I was like, oh, have you
Speaker 4: been taking people there? He's like, yeah, you know, it's curious.
Speaker 4: Some folks have me drop them off two blocks away.
Speaker 4: And I'm like, well, where's your pride in that?
Speaker 2: You know, he was an old guy.
Speaker 4: It was I love that he was bringing up that point.
Speaker 4: I guess they're scared showing at work. Assume he was
Speaker 4: a very oh. He also said because he's noticed I skateboard.
Speaker 4: He's like, no, there's a skate park under you got
Speaker 4: Rhodes Park, and then Ken telling me where the skate
Speaker 4: parks were.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: And then I said, well, Rhodes is a little intimidating
Speaker 2: for me.
Speaker 4: It's like twelve foot deep pools. I'm kind of a
Speaker 4: low impact skater. And then he said, oh, you must
Speaker 4: go through a lot of trucks. First of all, I
Speaker 4: knew that the axle of a skateboard is called a truck. Yeah,
Speaker 4: my dad even would still call it an axle, I think.
Speaker 4: But he knew low impact meant I skate curbs. I'm like,
Speaker 4: how do you? I had to ask how he knew
Speaker 4: these things, and then he said, why I try and
Speaker 4: peep on top of everything, I'm on TikTok a lot. No, yeah,
Speaker 4: And then he was an old man.
Speaker 2: If I could show you a picture of him, you'd
Speaker 2: be even more impressed.
Speaker 4: And then he played some song that I didn't recognize,
Speaker 4: but I guess it's on TikTok a lot. It was
Speaker 4: like a hip hop song, like the new kind of rap.
Speaker 4: Like he there's no I don't. I doubt he enjoys it,
Speaker 4: but he was. It's for his routine. I'm hip and
Speaker 4: I'm it's important to me to pay attention to what
Speaker 4: young people are into.
Speaker 2: Did he say skateboarding? I'm gonna know about new hip hop,
Speaker 2: not just my old school stuff, not just dre Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, wait really quick? Did he have a family? Is
Speaker 3: that part of the reason I.
Speaker 2: Wanted to ask?
Speaker 4: And I thought he would give me the information, but
Speaker 4: he let me think it was because of TikTok that
Speaker 4: he knew.
Speaker 1: I love it even more.
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1: I thought he wants to be a part of things.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: It was great, And I think that's the majority of people.
Speaker 3: I think, truly, Like, I think there's a lot of
Speaker 3: people that could have gotten swept up in trump Ism
Speaker 3: or what they thought it meant maybe in the beginning,
Speaker 3: and that are just quietly being like, welcome to our town.
Speaker 3: It's Pride weekend, because they're like, oh right, I don't
Speaker 3: want to be that person, right, Nobody really wants to
Speaker 3: be that extreme, like evil and kind of empty.
Speaker 1: I don't think.
Speaker 4: Yeah, even if that's what they're thinking. Everyone's conscious of
Speaker 4: how they appear. But this was genuine.
Speaker 1: This guy was this guy wants to be connected with
Speaker 1: his fellow man.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's beautiful. It was great.
Speaker 4: I did sit in the car at my drop off
Speaker 4: point and talked to him a little longer, nice, just
Speaker 4: because he was interesting to me. But that was just
Speaker 4: one of the many. This is one of those trips
Speaker 4: where I did nothing to prepare. I knew at a
Speaker 4: hotel with the venue the first night, but I stayed
Speaker 4: two more nights just to do a pop up show,
Speaker 4: and then the last day I was just going to
Speaker 4: skateboard with old boise pals. I did all those things
Speaker 4: and I didn't even have a hotel lined up, and
Speaker 4: I stayed in this nice man that owns the pie
Speaker 4: Hole pizzeria. He let me stay in his place, this
Speaker 4: basement apartment refused for me to even pay for a cleaner.
Speaker 4: People were picking me up. Do you need a ride
Speaker 4: to the airport? Do you need Hey, how's it going?
Speaker 4: Do you need lunch today?
Speaker 2: Like old friends that are from Montana that live there
Speaker 2: now nice.
Speaker 1: It was the enthusiast like a like a welcome guest.
Speaker 2: I felt like the person that's loved.
Speaker 1: That's so sweet.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, it's great, but yeah, you know, there's it
Speaker 2: was a good weekend ago.
Speaker 5: It is.
Speaker 2: It's there's no zero homeless people.
Speaker 4: There's certain things that like say, sound nice on paper,
Speaker 4: but it's always unrealistic when it's like where do you where?
Speaker 4: How do you get rid of? Everything's too clean? There's
Speaker 4: no one sleeping on the.
Speaker 3: Streets right because they'll those guys with guns right with
Speaker 3: their open carryable citizen arrest What if you got citizen
Speaker 3: arrested for having a joint in your book?
Speaker 4: Did you have anyone like that growing up that was
Speaker 4: a citizen on patrol?
Speaker 1: No, that's what are you talking about exactly?
Speaker 4: And and that's how I know the character I went
Speaker 4: into Reno nine one one. I know that they ended
Speaker 4: up having Paul Rubins do it, but my idea was
Speaker 4: based on a real guy in Missoula who had like
Speaker 4: a Bronco with a police scanner and CB radio and
Speaker 4: all through high school, if there was a.
Speaker 2: Fight and that's all people did on weekends in the.
Speaker 4: Nineties, he would show up and actually break up the
Speaker 4: fight or run after people and hold them down, wait
Speaker 4: for the police to come and they'd shake.
Speaker 2: His hand or you know.
Speaker 4: He was like And then one day I think he
Speaker 4: pulled out a gun at at a JB's restaurant or something,
Speaker 4: and they revoked his citizen on patrol status. But my
Speaker 4: character was he was going in and obviously had committed
Speaker 4: the crime, but because he.
Speaker 2: Had it all figured out, or that's what I thought.
Speaker 4: You had to improvise with them, and I thought it
Speaker 4: went well, even though I was nervous.
Speaker 2: But then they gave it. They took that idea and
Speaker 2: gave it a pev hear. But that's okay, I'm not
Speaker 2: I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: Are we changing topics? What's happening now?
Speaker 2: There?
Speaker 1: The citizen you're talking about an audition? Yes, Chris, Yeah,
Speaker 1: don't do that to me. I'm trying to drive a lot.
Speaker 2: I know I'm trying to follow you.
Speaker 5: You would have.
Speaker 2: It's just a windy road. I told the story perfectly.
Speaker 1: I'm just confused because of my surrounding.
Speaker 2: Yes, the citizen on patrol was was solidified in time
Speaker 2: as a character on Reno nine one one got you
Speaker 2: guy I almost played, but no, it was.
Speaker 3: But essentially it's Chris's idea everybody. But now essentially there's
Speaker 3: citizens on patrol everywhere. There's not the one weirdo. There's
Speaker 3: all kinds of weirdos doing it right.
Speaker 4: And this guy's heart was in the right place supposedly,
Speaker 4: but no, he was a weird George's Immermann type.
Speaker 3: Well, I mean knew why didn't he just audition to
Speaker 3: be a cop because he was mentally unstable and did
Speaker 3: not pass the tests.
Speaker 2: That was public knowledge.
Speaker 1: So they were like, whoa wow, I like him.
Speaker 2: He almost touched us.
Speaker 1: Literally, cars keep almost touching.
Speaker 4: I have why don't touch me? It's not even wearing
Speaker 4: a mask. His fender almost touched your fender.
Speaker 3: Yeah, he swung in a little maybe is a way
Speaker 3: to say I'm in charge.
Speaker 4: And look at his elbow. He is tattooed like the
Speaker 4: American flag. His whole arm see the stars.
Speaker 1: I thought it was a long sleeve shirt.
Speaker 2: I think it is. It's a sheer.
Speaker 4: So then forget the tattoo. He's wearing a patriotic fake
Speaker 4: tattoo body suit. Yeah, and I hope it's had to toe.
Speaker 4: I will almost Steve's his driving bodysuit.
Speaker 3: I like the idea that the citizen on patrol in
Speaker 3: your town decided they needed to monitor teenagers, right, that's like,
Speaker 3: don't you think red flag number one on through five?
Speaker 4: Yes, especially since he always was holding binoculars.
Speaker 2: I know. No, I just added a joke. And then
Speaker 2: after he.
Speaker 4: Got in trouble for pulling out a gun, he was
Speaker 4: then in like a little Honda Cord. He didn't have
Speaker 4: the truck with this with the CB radio anymore. He
Speaker 4: was just in a car. You're right, I didn't realize.
Speaker 4: This is like the when I told you my grandma
Speaker 4: kept stepping on rakes. I wasn't seeing things as they were.
Speaker 4: This guy was maybe.
Speaker 1: You're a child, and I thought you're a child.
Speaker 4: I mean I was, you know, sixteen through twenty one.
Speaker 4: The guy was around a good portion of my.
Speaker 1: Life, and you just took it all on face value
Speaker 1: of like, yeah, this guy.
Speaker 2: Chairs yeah, he's trying to fight the fight.
Speaker 1: I hope he doesn't wrestle me to the ground again.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, he never was focused on me. You know,
Speaker 2: I was shy. I didn't I need no patrolling. I
Speaker 2: like today, you know, with all my home and invasions
Speaker 2: and things I've been doing, spare time.
Speaker 1: Hips, all the stuff, all the illegal stuff. Yeah, that
Speaker 1: you're just addicted to. I'm very aware to God, if
Speaker 1: one more car fucking lane is.
Speaker 2: Are the the roads narrower? That guy was on his phone.
Speaker 2: He was just about to kiss your fender.
Speaker 1: Yeah. And also this asshole.
Speaker 2: Here needs to get somewhere.
Speaker 1: He needs to get up there.
Speaker 4: Come on, we're in the same model A vehicles. Come on,
Speaker 4: Why do you need to outperform us?
Speaker 1: Think of Elon and what he needs.
Speaker 4: Yeah, this isn't battle Bots hosted by our friend Bill.
Speaker 3: Am I going to be able to turn?
Speaker 1: I guess we'll see.
Speaker 4: That is always what I repeat over and over whenever
Speaker 4: I'm in West Hollywood.
Speaker 2: I'm very excit.
Speaker 4: I did about our guests today, and I predict he
Speaker 4: has a very funny joke that is about Tesla's and
Speaker 4: I hope that he does it, but he probably won't.
Speaker 3: I don't think he would. He won't if he's a
Speaker 3: genuinely funny, but.
Speaker 2: I've already quoted it. In this car.
Speaker 4: They went about any car can be a tesla if
Speaker 4: you look at a laptop instead of the road.
Speaker 2: This person, everyone's crazy. They honked out of haha, sager frustration.
Speaker 2: And now I'm taunting you.
Speaker 1: They're like, I can do.
Speaker 5: What I want.
Speaker 2: Is that this guy today is in rare form. No,
Speaker 2: you will just wait until you see look at that
Speaker 2: handsome lad, and then I'll be like, bingo, Okay.
Speaker 1: Don't be weird.
Speaker 2: I am not.
Speaker 1: I mean because he's new.
Speaker 2: He doesn't know us, right, so don't yelp bingo. All right,
Speaker 2: and we are, Yeah, we are. It's very close. I'm
Speaker 2: gonna put I'm already celebrating.
Speaker 1: Its unlocked. Hello, Hi, get into this car.
Speaker 4: You've seen our guest today. Clubs and colleges across the country.
Speaker 4: Put your ears together for Jared Goldstein.
Speaker 6: Hi, Jar, how are you?
Speaker 2: You make up? And then we will read Hi.
Speaker 1: Good, nice to meet you, Karen.
Speaker 5: Karen, Jared, thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 4: I I promised her that upon entry you would do
Speaker 4: your tesla joke.
Speaker 2: But it's okay, you're off the hook.
Speaker 4: But I would love to I've done it, I think
Speaker 4: three times, just because this. When I see this this monitor,
Speaker 4: I think of your joke.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, and then I repeat it.
Speaker 5: And you know, honestly, that joke. I'm proud of it,
Speaker 5: but I feel like I just ripped off a Parna
Speaker 5: on sheer La.
Speaker 2: Oh really the joke.
Speaker 5: She's funnier than me.
Speaker 6: The joke, the tesla joke is any car is it?
Speaker 5: I talk about my bad car, but any car is
Speaker 5: a Tesla if you look at your iPad instead of.
Speaker 1: The road, right.
Speaker 5: And there's a formula to that joke. The first time
Speaker 5: I heard it was from a Parna and her joke was,
Speaker 5: any pizza is a personal pizza if you cry while
Speaker 5: you eat it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, oh I remember that joke and you don't. I don't.
Speaker 2: It's just I mean, I mean, it's just the format.
Speaker 1: It's just a structure.
Speaker 5: Yeah yeah, yeah, And maybe a Parna didn't even invent it,
Speaker 5: but that's who I credit it to.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it feels like a very twittery structure where it's like, oh, great, idea,
Speaker 3: I'll put my own subject verb in there.
Speaker 6: What did my Tesla tweek get one hundred and fifty four.
Speaker 5: Likes on Twitter maybe it did. That's no longer on Twitter.
Speaker 5: I hung out my hat. Ye, I had a good week.
Speaker 4: The week the artist formerly known as Twitter. Yeah this
Speaker 4: X everyone.
Speaker 2: No one just calls it X.
Speaker 4: They have to go Comma the social media formerly known
Speaker 4: as Twitter.
Speaker 3: Because X is meaningless. Yes, X is curious George's signature.
Speaker 1: What are you doing?
Speaker 5: Yeah? Didn't you also get like sued because someone already
Speaker 5: owns X.
Speaker 2: The band X.
Speaker 1: Maybe could be that could be the Marxist spot people, the.
Speaker 2: Alcohol industry, the porn industry.
Speaker 3: Porn I think would have it over every Oh alcohol,
Speaker 3: if there's three?
Speaker 5: Yeah, is a professor?
Speaker 1: Yeah that's right, Yeah.
Speaker 4: There's everyone's a person that used to be your larrior
Speaker 4: or girlfriend.
Speaker 2: The exes. Oh see, I always come in with a
Speaker 2: with a nice soft landing.
Speaker 1: If there's a riff, we were just winding that one down.
Speaker 2: Yeah stop. Courtesy of me, Jared.
Speaker 1: How was your day so far?
Speaker 5: My day so far is pretty good.
Speaker 6: I felt really hungover in Yucky yesterday.
Speaker 5: So today, by virtue of the fact that I did
Speaker 5: not have three tequila sodas, I feel like Superman.
Speaker 1: Did you party? Was it a party? Was there an event?
Speaker 6: I went to Dodger Stadium for the first time in
Speaker 6: my life?
Speaker 2: Ohoh wow, Yeah, what'd you think?
Speaker 5: It was fine? It was like it was a little
Speaker 5: more fun than I had thought it would be, which
Speaker 5: would which was not very right. I'll say one really
Speaker 5: cool thing when we got there, it drizzled for like
Speaker 5: one minute, which was just enough.
Speaker 6: Giant rainbow. The wow, giant rainbow over the whole stadium.
Speaker 2: That's cool.
Speaker 5: So my first time ever going to Dodger Stadium, it's
Speaker 5: at sunset, there's a giant rainbow.
Speaker 2: Did you react like that?
Speaker 4: The Double Rainbow guy who was a former cage fighter
Speaker 4: and was delighted by the double Rainbow star cage fighter. Yeah,
Speaker 4: I looked into him. I don't remember why. I think
Speaker 4: he was featured on Tosh point zero back when I
Speaker 4: was affiliated or opening for that guy. Yeah, and so
Speaker 4: maybe they I think they interviewed him, but he did
Speaker 4: not seem he was like a hippie guy that camps
Speaker 4: in the woods.
Speaker 2: But he used to choke people out.
Speaker 6: I mean, speaking of a double rainbow.
Speaker 5: Coming up on our left is is two rainbow flags.
Speaker 5: Oh wow, I.
Speaker 4: Thought you were going to say the old twenty four
Speaker 4: hour Fitness location.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's no longer there. That is a double rainbow flag.
Speaker 5: Look at that.
Speaker 3: We're officially in West Hollywood. Now we are parallel to
Speaker 3: the flags.
Speaker 2: We're right in the thick.
Speaker 5: We've arrived. We're also if anyone was confused, in America,
Speaker 5: there's also an American flagwaving. Yes.
Speaker 2: Yes, we usually say that at the top of the hour,
Speaker 2: Welcome America.
Speaker 6: This is America. Oh that's a different show.
Speaker 4: When you say your first time at Dodger Stadium in
Speaker 4: your life.
Speaker 2: You're from New York.
Speaker 6: Right, Yes, I'm from New York, but I've been here
Speaker 6: for quite a while.
Speaker 5: My Okay, so I used to have a joke about
Speaker 5: how I've been to Dodger Stadium twice. It was for
Speaker 5: the vaccine, right, and that's the only time I've ever been.
Speaker 5: So this was technically my third time going to Dodger Stadium.
Speaker 5: The first two times it was, you know, to drive
Speaker 5: through the parking lot to receive the COVID nineteen Madernavaca.
Speaker 1: I wish they frightening time.
Speaker 4: I wish they gave the shot on the pictures mound.
Speaker 4: That would have been I think more people would have
Speaker 4: gotten vaccinated.
Speaker 5: Have you ever been on the JumboTron.
Speaker 2: Oh, I haven't. I've always wanted to be.
Speaker 5: I know, I really want that too. I feel like
Speaker 5: there's gotta be. If I go to a few more games,
Speaker 5: I'll figure out there's there's an opportunity there.
Speaker 1: You know, you have to have something in your back pocket.
Speaker 5: You do, You're not gonna waste that moment by jumping
Speaker 5: around like a maniac.
Speaker 2: No.
Speaker 4: It's one of my favorite things to watch on my phone,
Speaker 4: which is my entertainment system, is when someone has a
Speaker 4: big thing in their back pocket and they have a
Speaker 4: whole choreograph dance, and the cameraman follows them down the
Speaker 4: stairs and they are dancing to whatever song is playing. Yeah,
Speaker 4: it's very specific, but it's one of my favorite genres.
Speaker 5: You'd have to try to top a baby. That's kind
Speaker 5: of that seems like the winner. Yeah, being on the
Speaker 5: JumboTron is babies. So I have to just figure out
Speaker 5: what's better than babies?
Speaker 3: What about if you force a kiss cam on a
Speaker 3: stranger next to you.
Speaker 1: That's kind of my like I.
Speaker 5: Bring like kind of a I bring my own frame,
Speaker 5: Like I'm wearing the frame like it's a Halloween costume.
Speaker 5: And it says like kiss cam. Yeah, with like a
Speaker 5: little red dot recording.
Speaker 4: Yeah, just bring a kissing booth, a frame that says
Speaker 4: of thirty five cents psychiatric help and kisses.
Speaker 3: I mean we can just spitball so many ideas. Yeah,
Speaker 3: I got a ton of them.
Speaker 5: That's my Oh okay, yeah. Two babies. Oh, I bring two.
Speaker 3: Babies and not twins, because that's the easy version. Yeah,
Speaker 3: like two disparate babies.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yes, I think you definitely would get on camera
Speaker 4: if you holding two babies. Each arm and on your
Speaker 4: head is one of those drinking helmets, but in each
Speaker 4: holster is milk and the straws or.
Speaker 5: Do they go to the babies?
Speaker 1: Yes, well yeah, but do they or do they?
Speaker 4: Oh that that that provides some open that you can
Speaker 4: improvise a little but that Yeah, oh maybe I'll take
Speaker 4: a little zip.
Speaker 2: The crowd would go wid crazy.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I take it from the baby, I take a sip,
Speaker 5: give it back to the baby, and then you do
Speaker 5: so like a take.
Speaker 1: To the camera of like parenting. Am I right? So
Speaker 1: it's like, of course I need a little nourishment myself.
Speaker 5: Okay, I think we're getting close to something. Because they
Speaker 5: think they don't people don't have to like it. They
Speaker 5: just have to react to it and share it.
Speaker 1: That's right, They just have to have an experience at
Speaker 1: the moment.
Speaker 4: Yes, now, I'm we're going to run into the problem
Speaker 4: I've experienced many times for trying to shoot a sketch
Speaker 4: or a funny video.
Speaker 2: Where do we get a baby?
Speaker 5: I know a lot of babies.
Speaker 2: Now, Oh, who do I know that are bad parents?
Speaker 2: That will let me take their bies.
Speaker 5: To a Dodger Days?
Speaker 1: And then you'll also need a set teacher so that you.
Speaker 2: Know, oh right, like all the.
Speaker 5: All the school they would miss they have, they have school.
Speaker 5: Do you know?
Speaker 6: I was a child actor and I missed school and
Speaker 6: I had set teachers?
Speaker 2: Oh really?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Well how'd you feel about that?
Speaker 5: I feel great about it. Give me out of there.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 5: I also taught myself math better than my teacher at
Speaker 5: the time taught me math.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and my math.
Speaker 5: Teacher agreed to that. Agreed.
Speaker 2: Oh really yeah, because you came back with more knowledge.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 5: They said that they were shocked that I learned it.
Speaker 1: Wow.
Speaker 3: Yeah, So was that because your set teacher was good
Speaker 3: or because you were just good?
Speaker 6: By here's the thing about the set teachers.
Speaker 5: They were great, but they were for like young, young,
Speaker 5: young children. I was an older looking I mean a
Speaker 5: younger looking seventeen year old right, Oh, so like this
Speaker 5: who looked eleven.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 5: I was a really late bloomer. So I was able
Speaker 5: to play children much, you know, for longer than a
Speaker 5: lot of other kids who were very naturally and normally
Speaker 5: going through puberty at eleven, twelve, thirteen. I was not.
Speaker 5: So I was able to keep working. So I was.
Speaker 6: I was always on set with like nine year olds ten.
Speaker 5: So the tutors were for those, you know, aged children,
Speaker 5: and they never knew my I was like I was
Speaker 5: in ap classes.
Speaker 6: Oh yeah, and they were doing like, you know, sentences.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Wow. So none of the small talk with the
Speaker 2: other child actors was about school. No, No, like you're
Speaker 2: doing long division.
Speaker 5: Yeah, exactly exactly. So yeah, it was it was. It
Speaker 5: was tough, and it was fine. It was better than
Speaker 5: being in school. It was like, it was very glamorous.
Speaker 4: So how how young were you and how old was
Speaker 4: the character you were playing when you were like on
Speaker 4: a Modern Family.
Speaker 2: Were you secretly like twenty years old?
Speaker 5: No? At that point I was a much older child actor,
Speaker 5: still still at it playing I guess that character was
Speaker 5: probably like twenty five.
Speaker 2: Oh really yeah? Okay, Yeah.
Speaker 5: When I was a kid, I wasn't doing like acting
Speaker 5: like I was doing theater. Oh. I was like doing
Speaker 5: musical theater in New York. How yeah, like.
Speaker 2: Broadway.
Speaker 5: You freaking know it?
Speaker 1: Are you saying? What did you do?
Speaker 6: I was in a Christmas Carol at Madison Square Garden.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, yeah, that's what. Who was your character
Speaker 2: in a Christmas Guy?
Speaker 5: I played?
Speaker 1: That's a wig.
Speaker 5: Yes, when I played Scrooge when he was a kid,
Speaker 5: when they go back in time with the ghost of
Speaker 5: Christmas Past.
Speaker 2: That's amazing.
Speaker 6: And you learned that he was once very good.
Speaker 4: I'm so glad you didn't have to be the one
Speaker 4: at the end who has to go get the Christmas goose.
Speaker 2: That's a terrible gig.
Speaker 5: But I did also play Tiny Tim's brother, and a
Speaker 5: rich kid and a poor kid. I played four parts.
Speaker 1: That's range.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 6: I played young Scrooge, tiny Tim's brother, a rich.
Speaker 2: And that was a musical. Oh wow.
Speaker 3: When you played the rich kid, did you have a
Speaker 3: certain posture and then when you played the poor kid
Speaker 3: you had the inverted version of that posture.
Speaker 5: I had a rich kid. I had like a beautiful jacket,
Speaker 5: and it was like it was like made us some
Speaker 5: kind of special like authentic wool, which means it was
Speaker 5: ugly and bad because this is like what it was
Speaker 5: like the eighteen hundreds. Don't even know when it was. Yeah,
Speaker 5: it never happened. Times when it was it was never
Speaker 5: because Christmas Carol is not a document.
Speaker 2: They had the real jacket.
Speaker 1: I just loved what you said.
Speaker 3: Theautiful jacket to really show us.
Speaker 5: But yeah, I mean like it was a it was
Speaker 5: a navy jacket with black like wool like kind of like, uh,
Speaker 5: I don't know what epaulets are, but I bet it
Speaker 5: was epaulets. And then I had a like like a beret,
Speaker 5: essentially a bray like a French fort. It was like
Speaker 5: a like a navy beret. And that's what I wore
Speaker 5: when I was a rich kid.
Speaker 2: And then when you oversized lollipop too, it seems like
Speaker 2: that's what goes with that.
Speaker 5: That would have worked. And then when I was playing
Speaker 5: a poor kid, I dressed like everyone dresses like I
Speaker 5: would probably say, like in twenty fourteen, fingers.
Speaker 6: You got it, you got it?
Speaker 5: Yeah, fingerless glove, beanie, suspender.
Speaker 2: Eh and m fash fash fast.
Speaker 1: Yeah, just like a.
Speaker 5: Crop sweater like those sort of like remember those like
Speaker 5: fried boots everyone was wearing like that to look like
Speaker 5: a cobbler or something.
Speaker 1: Mm hmmm.
Speaker 3: Impossible to break in those boots. Horrible, just unless you
Speaker 3: work on a ranch.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 5: I only wore boat shoes for six years because of fashion.
Speaker 5: And now I have forever callouses on both big toes.
Speaker 2: Yeah, forever.
Speaker 5: There's no curing the callus that I have on either side.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that makes.
Speaker 2: Sense, just from like Sperry topsiders, Yeah, sock list without
Speaker 2: sock Oh, Batt'll do it.
Speaker 6: Yeah, and working on my feet in them too.
Speaker 1: Did you ever have a problem with foot odor? And
Speaker 1: some Perry.
Speaker 5: Topsiders with no sy totally?
Speaker 3: That was so I had wore those and also kids
Speaker 3: in the eighties because I was there for the eighties. Yeah,
Speaker 3: and that was one of the most embarrassing things that
Speaker 3: ever happened. Was one time at my friend's house taking
Speaker 3: off my kids, and my friend's like, oh my god,
Speaker 3: your feet smelled so bad, and I was like, wait
Speaker 3: what And it was like I had to discover, like
Speaker 3: as a twelve year old, that you can't just wear
Speaker 3: socks in kids.
Speaker 1: And get away with it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, it is, it is.
Speaker 4: It was an unfair time because they didn't have these
Speaker 4: new invisible stuff socks, no.
Speaker 6: No, I had to make my own invisible song.
Speaker 2: Did you you're the inventor of invisible?
Speaker 5: Yeah? I've invented so many things, but I just didn't
Speaker 5: get around to what else? What else? Froze? Oh yeah,
Speaker 5: funny froze.
Speaker 6: Really that was me?
Speaker 5: That was me?
Speaker 1: Since what year? Would you say?
Speaker 5: Since like twenty thirteen? Twenty thirteen, and then it hit
Speaker 5: the scene and I want to say twenty fifteen. Wow, yeah,
Speaker 5: Crose was me. Also, the clip that attaches your tablet
Speaker 5: to your bed so you can feel like you have
Speaker 5: a TV when you don't. Oh, that's a great idea.
Speaker 1: Good job on that one. I did that only on
Speaker 1: that one.
Speaker 2: Do you just not know a patent clerk?
Speaker 5: Yeah? Can I? When I have these million dollar ideas,
Speaker 5: it hits me like a ton of bricks, and it's
Speaker 5: a really it's actually a very sad moment because I
Speaker 5: just know the truth is like either I'm not I'm
Speaker 5: just not going to get around to doing it, or
Speaker 5: someone already has and it's months out. It's months out
Speaker 5: for the reveal.
Speaker 6: Yeah, and it's just what am I going to do?
Speaker 1: Right?
Speaker 3: There's a there's a real almost like a good idea
Speaker 3: paralysis where it's like, oh, this could really go somewhere,
Speaker 3: and now I'm a burden.
Speaker 5: Yeah. And also just the reality that, like I know,
Speaker 5: especially you know, certain times in my life, I'm certainly
Speaker 5: not busy.
Speaker 3: Now.
Speaker 5: If I have any million dollar ideas, I would love
Speaker 5: to pursue them vigorously. But I've been busy before. And
Speaker 5: you know, you just you have to have a lot
Speaker 5: of free time, right to make an idea of reality?
Speaker 2: Yeah, you have to hang out in your garage a
Speaker 2: lot and do a lot.
Speaker 5: Of You got a grind with other inventors, right, you
Speaker 5: know you have.
Speaker 1: To hire a lawyer, you have to.
Speaker 3: Yes, Yeah, you have to protect your rights completely.
Speaker 2: You have to wear a lot of lab coats and
Speaker 2: have wacky hair.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 3: You have to be open to other people's ideas horrifying.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I gotta work on that.
Speaker 6: I'm really like stubborn.
Speaker 1: Because you know, you have the best ideas.
Speaker 6: I think I do. Yeah, I certainly think I do.
Speaker 4: I don't I don't get that from you. I found
Speaker 4: you to be very open when I when I've met you.
Speaker 5: Okay, good?
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1: You also smell like coconut, which I really like.
Speaker 6: I'm wearing designer sunscreen.
Speaker 2: Oh really, Yeah, this is a banana boato.
Speaker 5: No it's no, it's it's it's incredibly normal sunscreen. But
Speaker 5: they just like, you know, kind of put a label
Speaker 5: on it. I don't even know what the label is. Actually,
Speaker 5: it's called Vacation. I think that's what it's called. Oh,
Speaker 5: it's called vacation. It might it's not from Supergroup.
Speaker 3: But it's I have a Supergoop thirty.
Speaker 5: You have a Super Good thirty. This is next to Supergoop,
Speaker 5: and it's it's just you remember, like American apparel. Ye,
Speaker 5: it's like American apparel, but it's sunscreen and it's called Vacation.
Speaker 5: And the bottle is so beautiful and it's it's like
Speaker 5: designed to be scented like classic Oh yeah, nineties eighties sunscreen.
Speaker 1: It smells so good.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that was a bunch of memories just washed ashore.
Speaker 4: Right.
Speaker 3: Yeah, there's a pinacla vibe to it. There's a real like, yeah,
Speaker 3: we're all having a great time.
Speaker 5: And if you see the font on the bottle, you
Speaker 5: will you really feel the fantasy.
Speaker 6: You're like, oh my god, it's nineteen ninety one.
Speaker 5: Yes, remember the original, Like not the origine, but like
Speaker 5: in the nineties, the Dorito's label, it used to just
Speaker 5: be like kind of a nice font.
Speaker 6: Yeah, and then at some point.
Speaker 5: In like the early two thousands, everything got like electric.
Speaker 5: Yeah yeah, yeah, you know, but it used to be
Speaker 5: like Cheerios. Everything was just kind of like kind of
Speaker 5: felt like.
Speaker 6: The fifties or something. Yeah, this bottle.
Speaker 4: Looks like that as as a I'm a big fan
Speaker 4: of simple, legible fonts. Yeah, and clean logos, and Doritos
Speaker 4: is all over the map.
Speaker 2: It's just a mess.
Speaker 5: Oh, it's crazy. Remember three D Doritos, Like what those
Speaker 5: tops they put them in a plastic like tube. Three
Speaker 5: D Doritos. For me, that was like the death of art. Yeah,
Speaker 5: that was like we've lost art over. Yeah.
Speaker 2: But they do come with those fun glasses.
Speaker 5: Them. Yeah.
Speaker 3: I for a little while they were spicy Doritos, but
Speaker 3: they looked so much like the normal bag that I
Speaker 3: would accidentally get the spicy bag, not kind of not
Speaker 3: paying attention to Detai then.
Speaker 1: Be like, I don't like Dorito's anymore. They burn. I
Speaker 1: can't do it. And then it's like, yeah, you're buying
Speaker 1: the wrong flavor.
Speaker 4: Yeah, there are some chips out there that will affect
Speaker 4: the rest of your day.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I don't want to get more detailed. Good good,
Speaker 2: I love it. Are you still singing?
Speaker 5: I sing at home?
Speaker 1: But I'm good.
Speaker 4: You're You're probably about to say you aren't. And you
Speaker 4: were good as a child and now you are. But
Speaker 4: I bet you're really good.
Speaker 5: I'll say I was good as a child and I'm
Speaker 5: fine now I'm better than most.
Speaker 2: But do you blame puberty?
Speaker 5: Of Oh, it was terrible, Like it was like overnight,
Speaker 5: it was gone.
Speaker 6: It was gone, and it just did not come back.
Speaker 5: It kind of came back a little bit, like maybe
Speaker 5: fully ten years later, but it's still just like it's
Speaker 5: just it just left. It just left, and I just
Speaker 5: have to say goodbye to it.
Speaker 4: I have a feeling, though, what if I took you
Speaker 4: to a karaoke night, would you surprise me by melting
Speaker 4: everyone's faces?
Speaker 6: I wouldn't, I swear to god, I wouldn't.
Speaker 5: Really, yeah, I wouldn't. I think if you, like, if
Speaker 5: you maybe caught me on a good day and you
Speaker 5: you had your ear up to my window and you
Speaker 5: heard me singing in the bathroom, you might think for
Speaker 5: a second it was the radio and then go, oh
Speaker 5: my god, wait, who is like that? You might have
Speaker 5: that experience, but no any like any kind of like
Speaker 5: live performing of singing. It's like it just got It
Speaker 5: was so bad and hard and sad and like to
Speaker 5: really to like go from Broadway to like I can't
Speaker 5: get a job like as like a teenager. It was
Speaker 5: just like devastating.
Speaker 1: That's a lot.
Speaker 3: Yeah, like too, you'd have to be very I think
Speaker 3: maybe even overly therapized to be able to process that
Speaker 3: and not have it be bad.
Speaker 5: Yeah. Yeah, it was just like honestly, the best I
Speaker 5: could do was like after years and years of like
Speaker 5: trying and trying and trying to get it back, I
Speaker 5: just gave up on trying. And then a little while
Speaker 5: later I was at work at a restaurant job, and
Speaker 5: I was had my headphones in and I was just
Speaker 5: like singing to myself kind of like you know, without
Speaker 5: any awareness of people around me. And the hostess at
Speaker 5: the restaurant, she she laughed at me and she goes,
Speaker 5: she's like, she goes, don't quit your day job. And
Speaker 5: then when we know but here's the thing. This used
Speaker 5: to be my dad literally literally, but we both laughed
Speaker 5: and I laughed genuinely, and it was the first time
Speaker 5: that I that that would even be like remotely funny
Speaker 5: or yeah, I had any levity about it.
Speaker 4: It is always funny to say that to someone as
Speaker 4: you're both at your day job.
Speaker 5: Yes, exactly, yes, So it was like, oh wow, in
Speaker 5: that moment, it was kind of nice. It was like,
Speaker 5: oh look, I really did kind of let this go.
Speaker 5: And then later on in life, I woke up in
Speaker 5: the first thing I did was look at Instagram, because
Speaker 5: I have normal healthy practices, of course, and I saw
Speaker 5: a reel of like a Broadway show and it just
Speaker 5: looked so silly to me, and it was like it
Speaker 5: became clear to me. It was like, oh wait, like
Speaker 5: I actually it was. I'm sad that it was taken
Speaker 5: away and that I didn't get to choose if I
Speaker 5: wanted to keep doing it. But if I could choose
Speaker 5: to keep doing it, I wouldn't want to.
Speaker 4: I wouldn't choose that for you either, because I've seen
Speaker 4: you do stand up, Oh thank you.
Speaker 2: I think that that's what.
Speaker 1: You should be, that's what you're meant to do.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I've seen a lot of stand up lately, well
Speaker 2: not as much as I used to. They're just starting
Speaker 2: as many shows.
Speaker 4: But we've been on a few shows together, and you
Speaker 4: always have great jokes.
Speaker 5: Thank you.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, I'm really said that when you're not in
Speaker 4: the car.
Speaker 1: Yes, it's true.
Speaker 2: Yeah, this is behind you.
Speaker 5: Yeah, and now I'm saying thank you, behind yours.
Speaker 2: It's the way the car is configured.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but I do think what you're saying this just
Speaker 3: is making me think of a like a similar thing
Speaker 3: that I went through where when it was like not
Speaker 3: my choice to it felt like the world was ending
Speaker 3: and so horrifying that car's abandoned.
Speaker 2: That question it is, how did you even know?
Speaker 1: Because I was making sure.
Speaker 3: I literally was like, hey, we're you're not going to
Speaker 3: come and t bone me. I like to see if
Speaker 3: I can't, And there's just no one.
Speaker 1: In the car.
Speaker 4: They even took the time, and maybe the car does
Speaker 4: it on their own. They've fold up their I want
Speaker 4: to call them ears, but that's not the cars of
Speaker 4: yours side view mirrors.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's right, you got it.
Speaker 5: Yeah, that's wild.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 3: But point being just exactly what you said is very wise,
Speaker 3: which is when it's about choice. So grieving the loss
Speaker 3: of a choice can sometimes be as sad as anything
Speaker 3: else because you're just like I believed in myself and
Speaker 3: I thought it was like better than you know, the
Speaker 3: average person, and then now I'm having to look at
Speaker 3: it in a different way. And then you can be
Speaker 3: like late a little later on when you get to
Speaker 3: have those feelings, then you're just like or not or
Speaker 3: that whole experience was just what it was.
Speaker 5: Yeah, and it was a great experience that I'm like,
Speaker 5: it's like if the worst thing that happened to me
Speaker 5: was I was on Broadway only as a child, it's great.
Speaker 5: It's so great, and I'm like it's all lucky, and
Speaker 5: obviously I'm just bitter and jealous now, but yeah, it was.
Speaker 5: It was cool and I'll never shut up about it.
Speaker 1: Ever.
Speaker 2: It is was it? Were you cool? Then?
Speaker 5: Like?
Speaker 2: At school? Did you miss a.
Speaker 5: Lot of My sister was really popular and I was
Speaker 5: really not, And doing this helped. Right when I was
Speaker 5: a kid, I was I was in a sketch on
Speaker 5: SNL one weekend. Yeah, and uh, a teacher of mine
Speaker 5: asked me to bring the VHS of it to school,
Speaker 5: So I did and then in every next class there
Speaker 5: was a student from the from the class prior who
Speaker 5: would say, Jared was on SNL this weekending, I vies
Speaker 5: and is with him making play with was white. So
Speaker 5: we just played it all day long, and I guess
Speaker 5: that was probably my first experience of going viral. Yeah,
Speaker 5: that's the views every forty five minutes that that video
Speaker 5: got thirty views.
Speaker 4: That's I still have dreams about about going back to
Speaker 4: school and something like that.
Speaker 2: I don't know why.
Speaker 4: It's usually a piano concert in the gymnasium, but something
Speaker 4: that all the.
Speaker 2: Kids, uh, something love, Yeah, whether it be a perfect
Speaker 2: dance or something something to make you stand out other
Speaker 2: than just being quiet and shy, which is what I was.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 1: What sketch was it that you were at?
Speaker 5: It was called the Fun Friends Club. Tina Fey wrote it.
Speaker 5: It's with Jimmy Fallon as the director of a kids show.
Speaker 5: Ray Liotta played Barney, and the joke was we had
Speaker 5: all come back from hiatus and all the kids were
Speaker 5: now going to puberty, and it really was sort of
Speaker 5: a foreshadowing of my future. Oh, it totally was, Yeah,
Speaker 5: because the joke was that my voice changed. Did you
Speaker 5: lower your voice or did you know Don Pardo the announcer,
Speaker 5: that's my voice and my lip synced to Don Pardo
Speaker 5: do it like he literally did? Excuse me? May I
Speaker 5: go to the bathroom. And before saying that, Brayley Yoda
Speaker 5: says to Who's only where, Who's Who's taking the head
Speaker 5: off of his Barney costume and he's smoking a cigarette.
Speaker 5: He says to Jimmy Fallon, who's the director, It's only
Speaker 5: gonna get worse.
Speaker 6: I think Jao Ping's voice is changing.
Speaker 5: And then I walk up and my characters name is choking.
Speaker 5: Oh wow, which used to get a really big laugh yea.
Speaker 5: Over the year, I now say that people kind of go,
Speaker 5: what's that written?
Speaker 2: Or that wow?
Speaker 1: Yeah, Everyone's just like, no, thank you.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's amazing. Was that one of your earlier TV jobs?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 6: Yeah, that's like one of the coolest things.
Speaker 3: And what I love is you remember the lines, because
Speaker 3: I bet you they're in your brain forever.
Speaker 5: I remember the songs. I don't remember the choreography, but
Speaker 5: I could maybe remember that if I tried, I can
Speaker 5: get the choreography back.
Speaker 1: You could. Yeah, it's all muscle memory.
Speaker 6: Yeah, it's all in there there.
Speaker 4: So where all the other kids ten years younger literally
Speaker 4: were I was the only one who knew where I was.
Speaker 5: I was freaking out. I was so excited to me
Speaker 5: Jimmy Fallon, Oh yes, and all these people, I couldn't
Speaker 5: believe it.
Speaker 2: They had had no idea. They were like eight, that's
Speaker 2: so great.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I was fourteen, that's so crazy.
Speaker 3: And wait, so can you talk about the feeling of
Speaker 3: doing it live?
Speaker 1: Did you have any kind of uh.
Speaker 3: Like realization this is live and they don't mess up
Speaker 3: in all those kind of panics.
Speaker 5: Not really, honestly, just because like I was coming from
Speaker 5: musical theater, so I was really used to like just
Speaker 5: every time.
Speaker 6: Counts, you just do it. You rehearse it.
Speaker 5: You also you get to rehearse it so like you
Speaker 5: don't have to feel scared because you've done it a bunch.
Speaker 4: You're likely the only child there that had performed at
Speaker 4: Radio City Musical.
Speaker 5: Actually, no, one of the other kids was in the
Speaker 5: show with me.
Speaker 2: Oh really Yeah, Tiny Tim's other brother.
Speaker 6: Yeah, Tiny Tim's cousin.
Speaker 3: You're just staring him down, like and stop getting the jobs.
Speaker 1: I guess you know.
Speaker 5: Actually it was Tiny Tim's sister. That's real.
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, it was. It was a good litld time.
Speaker 5: But that's also when I started doing stand up. That's
Speaker 5: what I really liked about it was like, oh, it's
Speaker 5: like theater because like I'm on a stage, there's lights,
Speaker 5: the people are here.
Speaker 6: I hear it right away. I get to practice it
Speaker 6: before I do.
Speaker 5: It, because like when you're like doing television or film,
Speaker 5: it's like it's really scary because there's this camera and
Speaker 5: you're like, oh my god, like action like go you
Speaker 5: know that. That was very intimidating, But like getting like
Speaker 5: anything live was like you just also like if you
Speaker 5: mess up, like no one really even knows, you know
Speaker 5: what I mean, Like you're just kinda like.
Speaker 1: Although having to lip sync, I bet was a.
Speaker 6: Little okay, can I'll be vulnerable right now.
Speaker 5: In the rehearsal, I my lip sync was perfect in
Speaker 5: the In the actual you know show, my lip sync
Speaker 5: is not perfect.
Speaker 4: Well, it's a hard thing. You don't know when Pardo
Speaker 4: is about to start.
Speaker 5: Literally yeah, like there's no music, it's fully just like, yeah,
Speaker 5: we didn't.
Speaker 6: It didn't happen. It didn't come together.
Speaker 2: So when you were practicing, were you practicing to a recording?
Speaker 5: I don't really remember. Yeah, I think we just practiced
Speaker 5: a couple of times. You know, it's crazy, it's live.
Speaker 6: The intro to the show is live every time. I
Speaker 6: didn't know that.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2: Old him saying all those nay, I didn't know.
Speaker 5: That any single show. Don.
Speaker 6: But I think now it's Daryl Hammond. I think I
Speaker 6: don't know what they do anymore.
Speaker 5: But back in the day, Don Pardo was in the
Speaker 5: building every Saturday night saying it every time.
Speaker 2: Wowow, very exciting, Jamie, kind of a Halloween I'm haunting
Speaker 2: you with the cow.
Speaker 1: Very spooky.
Speaker 2: Wow. That is amazing.
Speaker 4: Yeah, So when you when your voice changed and you
Speaker 4: were like, I don't know if I'm going to be
Speaker 4: a musical theater person name or where your parents like
Speaker 4: support them?
Speaker 2: Did they want you to be doing.
Speaker 5: That or yeah? It was like it was that part
Speaker 5: was hard because like we just didn't know, like, you know,
Speaker 5: we didn't like my my mom does nails, my dad's
Speaker 5: an accountant, Like we didn't have any like experience like
Speaker 5: with like it was so fun when it was good,
Speaker 5: and then when it got bad, like we just didn't
Speaker 5: know what to do, and like all we really had
Speaker 5: to go off of was like Mariah Carey's behind the music.
Speaker 1: So you just showed everybody all your slips. Yeah.
Speaker 5: Yeah, So.
Speaker 6: We just were like it was just like, you know,
Speaker 6: get tough for go home.
Speaker 5: Yeah, and we were and like it that that part
Speaker 5: was the hard part was like when it started going badly,
Speaker 5: like it very much felt like it was my fall
Speaker 5: and like a better, more dedicated, you know, destined star
Speaker 5: would figure this out and I wasn't figuring it out.
Speaker 6: And I was trying to figure it out and I
Speaker 6: just couldn't.
Speaker 5: So it was like it was already sad, but then
Speaker 5: on top of that, it was like I felt like
Speaker 5: I was failing and I felt like I was somehow
Speaker 5: doing the wrong thing, or like if I if I
Speaker 5: ever felt I remember at the time like I got
Speaker 5: fired from this musical and then essentially after that, I
Speaker 5: just like never worked again. And I remember like my manager,
Speaker 5: who was like exactly what you would think like a
Speaker 5: child acting manager was to a t, she was exactly that.
Speaker 5: She She told my that, like, you know, he might
Speaker 5: be gun shy for a little while, and like that's
Speaker 5: okay and we just have to like just know that.
Speaker 5: And then my mom told me that, and I was like,
Speaker 5: what's gun shy, right, and like that's how I learned
Speaker 5: the word gun shy. And it like that that went
Speaker 5: so deep and I was like, damn, I guess I'm
Speaker 5: gun shy.
Speaker 2: It was a simpler time children. You staff to act
Speaker 2: at gunpoint, yeah, and you had to love it.
Speaker 1: You had to really be.
Speaker 2: Good, smile and dance. Yeah, It's never loaded.
Speaker 3: But also doesn't it seem like in that I feel
Speaker 3: like I know myself lots of people that have done
Speaker 3: it where it's like anything that's happening while things are
Speaker 3: slowing down or not going well.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it doesn't.
Speaker 3: People could be saying anything and it's like I'll never forget.
Speaker 3: Like I was like, it's like you just a phrase,
Speaker 3: a passing phrase that someone says somebody I can't. I
Speaker 3: think it was like Roger Rittenhouse somebody one time in
Speaker 3: the middle of a bar turning me and goes, what
Speaker 3: happened with you? Everybody thought like you were gonna do
Speaker 3: like and I was like looking at him.
Speaker 2: Lightly, and I was very nice.
Speaker 3: I was real drunk, but I was like looking at
Speaker 3: him like what the fuck? And then it was like
Speaker 3: I was probably twenty five or twenty six, and I
Speaker 3: was like, oh, yeah, I'm done, Like this is there's
Speaker 3: no hope.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 1: And that's the thing if.
Speaker 3: You're too young and you don't know, it's like there's
Speaker 3: not you just said I I never worked again. It's like,
Speaker 3: yes you have, Yes, you've done all kinds of stuff,
Speaker 3: like there's such a chapter two, next chapter whatever waiting
Speaker 3: and we can't know that at that time because we
Speaker 3: just have to like go through the bad part.
Speaker 5: Yeah. Yeah, and it's yeah, it's tough. It's tough also
Speaker 5: because it's like it's it's just hard and like they
Speaker 5: don't know one means to hurt you like that. Then
Speaker 5: I realize it's happening. It's like a passing moment for them.
Speaker 1: Right.
Speaker 5: But it's like when things are bad, like yeah, maybe
Speaker 5: maybe maybe I'll write a book someday on how to
Speaker 5: how to talk to a child actor who doesn't book, Yeah,
Speaker 5: you know, how to talk to you aboard?
Speaker 4: Yes, yeah, it's a children's book, a pop up book.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's a picture of a kid who looks just
Speaker 5: like them, but a little bit younger. It's like popping out.
Speaker 1: And everyone's gathered around.
Speaker 2: But now, oh my god. Yeah.
Speaker 4: Yeah, when people say that, it's it's almost like they're
Speaker 4: trying to compliment you. Like ever since I first saw you,
Speaker 4: I thought you were destined for something. Isn't it crazy
Speaker 4: that it hasn't happened? But that hurts when someone says that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, just don't say it.
Speaker 4: Don't tell people that you had expectations of them.
Speaker 2: That guy is just gonna. I bet he abandons the car.
Speaker 5: And they're doing two podcasts.
Speaker 3: Yeah, one's about toad trucks, the other ones about being toad, which.
Speaker 1: Can be very humiliating.
Speaker 2: Sometimes.
Speaker 6: I've never I have not yet been toad ever.
Speaker 5: No, I've only been dry for like two years.
Speaker 2: Oh well there's the answer.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Yeah, my first ten years I was toe free, real yeah,
Speaker 4: born without toes.
Speaker 2: And then I moved.
Speaker 4: It happened. I but such stupid things. I remember leaving
Speaker 4: Michelle Balloon.
Speaker 2: Used to live right up here on Hollywood Boulevard, and
Speaker 2: I just left my car overnight and slept on her
Speaker 2: couch and it was gone the next day, and I
Speaker 2: called the police. My car has been stolen. Like I
Speaker 2: just was so laive and so kept happening. I have
Speaker 2: been to it many times. Oh damn, and avoid it.
Speaker 4: Read those signs. They can be confusing. Oftentimes there's seven
Speaker 4: of them stacked on top of each other. But the
Speaker 4: whole going to the holding area and having to pay
Speaker 4: for the daily them having your car there.
Speaker 2: It's expensive. You don't meet any nice people.
Speaker 1: No, they don't care about your story.
Speaker 2: No they don't. And I always tell it.
Speaker 1: But what how I was gonna say, how different is
Speaker 1: Los Angeles from New York.
Speaker 5: No, it's exactly the same.
Speaker 1: It is, isn't it.
Speaker 5: It's literally the same.
Speaker 4: But that is why you've only been driving a couple
Speaker 4: of years, right, Yeah.
Speaker 5: Yeah. When I first got here, I was borrowing my
Speaker 5: friend's cars and that was that was great. I when
Speaker 5: I moved here, I was like friends with all these
Speaker 5: actors who were doing really well, and they would like
Speaker 5: go to film a movie for three months in Budapest
Speaker 5: and maybe like take my twenty ten Honda.
Speaker 2: You're like car sitting.
Speaker 5: Yeah yeah, And I literally like got by for years
Speaker 5: like that. There are so many twenty three year olds
Speaker 5: in the city who are currently in Budapest for Atlanta.
Speaker 1: They have apartments, they have cars, you can sit.
Speaker 5: Their dog completely totally.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 5: So I just got by like that for a while,
Speaker 5: and then that stopped working. For and then but then
Speaker 5: Uber was it came around and then yeah, and then
Speaker 5: I used to like uberpool and lyft line everywhere. When
Speaker 5: when lyft Line first started, I once lifted to the
Speaker 5: airport for sixteen dollars. Right, we took up anyone, We
Speaker 5: didn't pick anyone up. It was a lift line from
Speaker 5: West Hollywood to lax the Dream.
Speaker 6: Yeah, sixteen dollars.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Those early years were the best and it was crazy. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 4: totally makes sense. What I can't believe is how many
Speaker 4: adults I knew when I moved here in the early
Speaker 4: two thousands that were adults that had never driven and
Speaker 4: lived in this city and took taxis that.
Speaker 2: I was like, how do how does that work?
Speaker 4: But Paul Tompkins, remember he was like, yeah, did not
Speaker 4: have a license, had never driven, and was a full
Speaker 4: on functioning adult. But nowadays, because of Left and Uber,
Speaker 4: you could do it. I think about it sometimes I.
Speaker 2: Should just leave this car at a stop light and
Speaker 2: just walk into Echo Park. It is an option. Yeah.
Speaker 5: Do you test those like float or have any kind
Speaker 5: of water protections?
Speaker 3: I think there is a kind of like they I
Speaker 3: don't think they float.
Speaker 1: That would be incredible.
Speaker 3: I would have driven it into something by now, But
Speaker 3: I do think they have like a sealed off thing.
Speaker 4: Whoa, I do think that available on YouTube are videos
Speaker 4: of these cars being driven into water and really yeah,
Speaker 4: and they will act like a boat for a moment.
Speaker 1: Are you sure you're not thinking of the boat car video?
Speaker 4: I am thinking of the James Bond Lotus that becomes
Speaker 4: a submarine's but it's the same color.
Speaker 2: As this car.
Speaker 1: Did you hear that?
Speaker 3: Elon Musk was live streaming driving his car and he
Speaker 3: put it into Elon mode and he almost the car
Speaker 3: almost killed them.
Speaker 5: Whoa, well a.
Speaker 3: Lot live stream, I mean, because he was like this
Speaker 3: Elon mode where all the rules are being broken and
Speaker 3: all this crazy shit, and then it just drove him
Speaker 3: through a red light and through a four way stop.
Speaker 2: How symbolical.
Speaker 5: Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's our experience with him.
Speaker 6: I didn't hear that.
Speaker 2: And you can. I can watch that, Yes you can
Speaker 2: right now. Won't it be bad for podcasts?
Speaker 1: Yes, it's not a good idea.
Speaker 2: Okay, I won't, but you can. Wow, of course that happened, Jared.
Speaker 1: How's your summer Ben? Overall? Do you want to talk
Speaker 1: about any highlights?
Speaker 5: Sure?
Speaker 6: I met my boyfriend's family on Long Island. How was it?
Speaker 1: Really?
Speaker 5: It was great? It was really good. I'm a brand
Speaker 5: new boyfriend. It's my first time ever doing it, and
Speaker 5: I'm really bad at it. But I gotta say I
Speaker 5: knocked out of the.
Speaker 6: Park meeting the family. I like him, yes, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 6: he likes you a lot.
Speaker 3: Cool.
Speaker 6: Yeah, he's really great.
Speaker 5: He's great, and he grew up in a famously haunted
Speaker 5: house in a gorgeous town. We're both from Long Island
Speaker 5: and we're both just about the same age, which is
Speaker 5: fun because we just we're only just now meeting and
Speaker 5: we're you know, we're long distance and all these things.
Speaker 5: So when I just thought we grew up the same
Speaker 5: because we both grew up on Long Island. But his
Speaker 5: town is.
Speaker 7: Like so so beautiful, and it was cool to go
Speaker 7: and like eat crab and like see like these like
Speaker 7: little islands and stuff, and that was like a fun
Speaker 7: part of the summer.
Speaker 1: Nice.
Speaker 2: I'm so.
Speaker 4: I don't know anything about Long Island and this might
Speaker 4: make everyone laugh, but is it indeed an island?
Speaker 5: It is, and it's also really long, like if you
Speaker 5: drive to like Montalk or the Hamptons, which is at
Speaker 5: the end of it. Essentially, it takes so long you
Speaker 5: hate it and you can't believe it, and you're like,
Speaker 5: oh my god, it really is so long.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: So wait, he still lives there your boyfriend?
Speaker 6: No, well he lives in Brooklyn.
Speaker 2: Now, oh, I didn't know it was. It's currently long distance.
Speaker 6: Yeah, although he's actually in my apartment right now.
Speaker 5: With food poisoning prove it.
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, he got food poisoning.
Speaker 1: Did he get it at the Dodger Stadium.
Speaker 5: Well, here's a thing I felt terrible yesterday, which included
Speaker 5: nausea but also kind of just being hungover from like
Speaker 5: the drinking. He felt okay. We then went to a
Speaker 5: diner where he had Morella sticks. Oh, and then the
Speaker 5: first thing he threw up in the middle of the
Speaker 5: night was Monzerelli sto. So he feels like maybe he
Speaker 5: got food poisoning from the diner, but maybe it was
Speaker 5: maybe it was like a delayed you know, maybe it
Speaker 5: was a one two punch of Dodger Stadium wow, diner.
Speaker 4: Yes, No, it's some you never know what. I have
Speaker 4: narrowed it down where my food poisoning came from. One time.
Speaker 4: It was the Burger place next to the comedy club
Speaker 4: in Austin. I knew I got it there, and I
Speaker 4: went back to tell them, Hey, by the way, I
Speaker 4: got sick yesterday, but I showed up hungry and I
Speaker 4: ended up getting another burger. There's no way it's going
Speaker 4: to happen again. And it, even though it made me sick,
Speaker 4: it was delicious.
Speaker 2: I do recall it.
Speaker 1: My god, you refuse to learn.
Speaker 2: The last time I saw you, Jared, we did a
Speaker 2: show here at the Pleasure Chest.
Speaker 4: Yes, it's where I met said boyfriend, and then I
Speaker 4: had my nieces in town.
Speaker 2: But you then you went across the street and I
Speaker 2: couldn't go, and you said, well, let's have lunch sometime soon.
Speaker 6: Yes, And I've thought about it.
Speaker 4: I felt like too much time for out of the
Speaker 4: blue recently to suddenly say, hey, let's do that lunch.
Speaker 5: And I think that's actually the right call, so I
Speaker 5: think we should. I don't think we should ever get lunch.
Speaker 2: Right, Okay, that's what I did. You you knew? Is
Speaker 2: it too late to call it off? Good? Okay, I'm
Speaker 2: glad the mistake.
Speaker 5: Yeah, no, let's definitely get lunch. Also, you missed nothing.
Speaker 5: We went to bar Lubitch for two minutes and then
Speaker 5: just went home.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 5: Well we didn't even get a drink. We just walked
Speaker 5: in realized this wasn't the move.
Speaker 1: We went on bar lubitch is it.
Speaker 3: I always thought that that would be such a cool
Speaker 3: place to have fun on a non comedy night because
Speaker 3: of maybe because of the black and white tile floor,
Speaker 3: or that there would be some sort of I don't know,
Speaker 3: Russian vibe meet Russian person.
Speaker 1: I don't know, but I feel like that never has happened.
Speaker 4: Right, It's aesthetically pleasing. And then I have been there
Speaker 4: for non comedy events. I even had like my.
Speaker 2: First album release party there.
Speaker 4: It is like if you're not in that back room
Speaker 4: doing stand up on that stage.
Speaker 5: Which I love, it's so fun, so good, it's so fun,
Speaker 5: such a good run.
Speaker 4: I don't know what it is about it, but I've
Speaker 4: never not had fun on that stage.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I performing for six people.
Speaker 5: Yes, it's always fun.
Speaker 1: I just had a memory the other day.
Speaker 3: This is I'll be vulnerable too, because this is really
Speaker 3: embarrassing to admit, but it's true and no surprise. But
Speaker 3: I was thinking about a set I did there one time,
Speaker 3: and it was when I was doing my comedy music,
Speaker 3: which of course I felt a lot of shame about
Speaker 3: as I would perform it. And I started a song
Speaker 3: and these kind of drunkie these it was a table
Speaker 3: of women that had a real bachelorette party vibe to them,
Speaker 3: and they started singing along with me, and in perfect time,
Speaker 3: I just went no. And then right into the next thing,
Speaker 3: do you ever do that? Will you remind yourself of?
Speaker 3: Like a complete improvised victory from saying it, The audience
Speaker 3: went so insane for just like the lightest smack.
Speaker 1: And I just thought of.
Speaker 2: That the other day, and I was just like, they
Speaker 2: knew your song, they knew your lyrics. Were these fans no, no, no?
Speaker 3: It was almost like they'd gotten to the chorus and
Speaker 3: they were gonna they were going to do it too,
Speaker 3: or some shit. I don't really know what they were thinking,
Speaker 3: but I was not into it.
Speaker 4: I feel that way even when an audience starts clapping.
Speaker 4: I like when an artist is like, please don't clap now,
Speaker 4: I have to actually listen to the drummer that a
Speaker 4: few times. It's like that no one's ever been no
Speaker 4: audience has ever been good at clapping and.
Speaker 2: Keeping the beat.
Speaker 1: No, we just say no. White audience.
Speaker 4: I'm sorry, everyone, but can we look at that robot
Speaker 4: and not agree that not only are they kind of cute,
Speaker 4: I worry about those delivery robots.
Speaker 2: Yes, that's what I was talking about.
Speaker 5: Their proximity to children makes them like exponentially cuter. Yeah,
Speaker 5: I feel like I'm watching a Pixar movie robot.
Speaker 4: If you talk about them or address them, they do
Speaker 4: slow down, like they they.
Speaker 5: They're aware of you.
Speaker 4: Yes, And I wonder if a little kid went up HI,
Speaker 4: if they'd stop. And because they have a smiling face,
Speaker 4: they have a voice that says excuse me.
Speaker 6: They're like Wally, they say excuse me.
Speaker 2: Yes, they are adorable.
Speaker 4: I'm always worried someone will vandalize them.
Speaker 1: I saw a video of one rolling through a crime
Speaker 1: scene one time.
Speaker 3: It's just like those tape up and cops standing around,
Speaker 3: and that thing just rolls right through the start and.
Speaker 2: They're picking up blood samples.
Speaker 6: Whoa and you would never know if that was your food.
Speaker 1: You're like, did my five guys just get rolled through?
Speaker 2: There's a right, five guys, there's blood on my front.
Speaker 5: Do you think they put those like circle lights that
Speaker 5: kind of look like eyes on them as like a
Speaker 5: defense mechanism.
Speaker 2: They Yeah, they must have. I hope they have some
Speaker 2: defense mechanism.
Speaker 4: Because people, just like half the city, their tendency is
Speaker 4: to walk up to that bird scooter and just kick
Speaker 4: it over. Yeah, because they want to be punk rock
Speaker 4: or something. I do feel like they probably get vandalized
Speaker 4: all the time. So a giant light.
Speaker 5: Right, Like imagine if that limescreater had a giraffe head. Yeah,
Speaker 5: wouldn't you be like you'd like probably like fuck with it?
Speaker 2: Last? Yeah, you're right, Yeah, they should add a little
Speaker 2: faces like a Tommy the Train fish.
Speaker 5: Yeah. Yeah, I honestly I'm not convinced yet that they
Speaker 5: haven't already done that. I feel like those circles because
Speaker 5: they don't need those lights. Do they are those lights?
Speaker 5: It's not lighting the way or anything right makes them.
Speaker 5: It's like it just gives it. It's the suggestion of
Speaker 5: a face.
Speaker 3: Yeah, anthropomorphizes, yes, So it's like it's it's it's a
Speaker 3: little bit sinister in a way.
Speaker 5: But I really.
Speaker 2: It's a great idea.
Speaker 5: I know, what can we do?
Speaker 1: I mean, who cares well?
Speaker 4: I almost started talking about putting little outfits on them,
Speaker 4: but we can totally chose.
Speaker 2: But he's got a beret and a be a full jacket.
Speaker 1: Beautiful.
Speaker 2: Oh, this is terrific.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we've really driven all around.
Speaker 4: Yeah, if you haven't seen your neighborhood yet, I hope
Speaker 4: you're enjoying it.
Speaker 5: You got to stop by. This H and R block.
Speaker 1: So much nicer than the one in my neighborhood.
Speaker 2: They're so good with a state planning.
Speaker 4: Yeah, very that location specifically, I feel it's very that
Speaker 4: you were hungover because of three drinks. Lets me know
Speaker 4: that is a very innocent number of drinks. And I
Speaker 4: think that if I lived in this area when I
Speaker 4: was younger and when I first moved here, I would
Speaker 4: have been in trouble because it's so easy to just walk.
Speaker 4: Oh i'm bored, let's go party for no reason.
Speaker 5: Totally totally.
Speaker 3: Let's go watch some like drag Bingo or something that's
Speaker 3: the Bot's my personal favorite.
Speaker 2: It is a fun part of town to be.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I've been slowing down on drinking.
Speaker 2: I have, It's well, I have not for six months.
Speaker 2: I think I'm done.
Speaker 6: Oh beautiful, I think, oh that's great.
Speaker 5: But okay, cool. But also if you're not done.
Speaker 4: Fine, right, I am leaving that possibility open. Because I
Speaker 4: don't want to disappoint myself later. But between me and
Speaker 4: myself and everyone in this car, and I guess the listeners,
Speaker 4: I think I'm done.
Speaker 5: I think you're done.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 6: The less you do it, the easier it is to
Speaker 6: be done.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 5: Also, here's what I'm realizing now, and this is this
Speaker 5: is a part of the reason. It's I feel great
Speaker 5: in taking a break right now. I'm tired of the
Speaker 5: drinks that we have right now, I've had them all.
Speaker 1: What have you been drinking lately?
Speaker 5: Like, you know, we get new drinks every seven years.
Speaker 5: Right now it's orange wine and the groanie and oh
Speaker 5: that's right, things, you know, Like I've had them, and
Speaker 5: like I have like some of them. I like some
Speaker 5: of them I don't. I've definitely had enough of all
Speaker 5: the ones I really like. And now I'm at a
Speaker 5: point where, like when I when I I've also exhausted
Speaker 5: my classics, like the idea have a martini, I'm just
Speaker 5: kind of like, oh, I have a martini. So I'm
Speaker 5: kind of just bored of drinking right now. So I'm like,
Speaker 5: let me wait a few years until we get some
Speaker 5: you know, green.
Speaker 6: Wine and wine.
Speaker 5: Yeah, Like I need new drinks because I'm like, I'm
Speaker 5: bored of what we have. And I'm like, yeah, it's
Speaker 5: You're right.
Speaker 4: I've never really realized that there was like the year
Speaker 4: of the Mahido, the Year of the Moscow.
Speaker 5: Yes, and people, and my god, but if you that's
Speaker 5: for a Moscow mule today?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I know, I go like, this guy's from twenty thirteen. Yes, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna look at this old nerd.
Speaker 5: Yeah, moos, that was like two thousand and seven.
Speaker 4: And you invented that, right, Yeah, that was all Yeah.
Speaker 2: Wait, what's the drink? You invented a frozen frozen frozen yeah,
Speaker 2: which yeah, my my extensive knowledge of the language means
Speaker 2: a frozen rosy exactly. Yeah, I agree. I put that
Speaker 2: those two together.
Speaker 1: So good.
Speaker 4: We're actually dropping you off at your driveway, which looks
Speaker 4: more like a walkway.
Speaker 5: Yeah yeah. And it used to look even better. They
Speaker 5: went too far with the like landscaping. It used to
Speaker 5: be so overgrown and lush. It looked like Jurassic Park.
Speaker 5: It was so cool and now it's you know, it's
Speaker 5: it's still there.
Speaker 2: Wait do you have park? Do people drive on that? Yeah?
Speaker 5: Yeah, you drive right up that cool which is kind
Speaker 5: of fun. You kind of bounce up and you drive
Speaker 5: straight into the back and then there's a garage back there.
Speaker 1: So it was like more of this yeah stuff.
Speaker 5: There's so much more. Really, it looked like a jungle.
Speaker 6: It looked like you were entering a jungle.
Speaker 5: It was so cool. It was definitely like.
Speaker 6: One of the most exciting parts of the apartment.
Speaker 2: If I was visiting here and I didn't know better,
Speaker 2: I would just see this and go, oh, this is
Speaker 2: where the shaw Melrose plays.
Speaker 6: It's got that.
Speaker 2: Yes, you are you pels with all your neighbors.
Speaker 6: I am pals with some of them.
Speaker 2: Yes, not all of them, No, certainly not. Most people
Speaker 2: are terrible.
Speaker 1: In this.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Do you want to plug anything before we wrap it up?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 6: I will plug Licospheric vitamin C.
Speaker 2: Oh.
Speaker 5: Sure, it's great for your skin. Okay, try It's expensive,
Speaker 5: but it's kind of worth it.
Speaker 1: What does it do for your skin?
Speaker 5: It just makes it kind of plump. But you know,
Speaker 5: like vitamin C serum is designed to like make you
Speaker 5: plump and bright. I feel like it doesn't really work,
Speaker 5: but if you eat it, it does. And lipospic vitamin
Speaker 5: C if you put it into a cup of water
Speaker 5: and you throw it back like a shot. It looks
Speaker 5: like orange mucus. It's very cool.
Speaker 8: And then a couple of days later you wake up
Speaker 8: and you go, really, your face in the Yeah, I'm yeah.
Speaker 4: That's interesting that I would think it would have to
Speaker 4: be topical, otherwise it would take years to see the
Speaker 4: topical takes years.
Speaker 5: Yeah, take it, vitamins.
Speaker 2: Now, can I squirt the lotion that I already have
Speaker 2: into my mouth?
Speaker 5: Now?
Speaker 2: Don't do that? Okay, what if it smells like your
Speaker 2: sunscreen delicious coup.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a good thing that it smells. So it
Speaker 1: smells amazing.
Speaker 5: Isn't that crazy?
Speaker 3: And it's kind of like it's not just a scent,
Speaker 3: but it is a vibe.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm sorry to say that.
Speaker 6: You don't need to wear Colonne. When you're wearing a
Speaker 6: sc it.
Speaker 2: Does remind me of a girlfriend that was mean to me,
Speaker 2: But it doesn't.
Speaker 1: That's your thing.
Speaker 4: Well, everyone that has a computer, just type and Jared
Speaker 4: Goldstein and enjoy his life's works.
Speaker 2: On the computer.
Speaker 5: It's all there. It's all there. Yeah, thanks for having me.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're the best.
Speaker 1: It was so nice to meet you.
Speaker 5: This was great.
Speaker 4: Yeah, so fun and check out Jared Jared's stand up.
Speaker 4: Most importantly, to me, Emmy and Karen, you've been listening
Speaker 4: to Do You Need a Ride?
Speaker 2: D y n a R. This has been an exactly
Speaker 2: Right production.
Speaker 3: Produced by Analise Nelson, mixed by Edson Choy. Our talent
Speaker 3: booker is Patrick Cottner.
Speaker 2: Theme song by Karen Kilgarreth.
Speaker 1: Artwork by Chris Fairbanks.
Speaker 3: Follow the show on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook at dinar
Speaker 3: podcast That's d y n ar Podcast.
Speaker 4: For more information, go to exactly rightmedia dot com.
Speaker 1: Thank you, Oh you're welcome.
Speaker 2: Oh no, oh, there's a doubt.
Speaker 1: Set the dog