1 00:00:02,720 --> 00:00:05,880 Speaker 1: Hey, guys, welcome to Tommy Talk. This is a new 2 00:00:05,880 --> 00:00:08,360 Speaker 1: weekly series that's part of my I've Never Said This 3 00:00:08,480 --> 00:00:12,160 Speaker 1: Before podcasts where I am talking about things that well, 4 00:00:12,200 --> 00:00:16,600 Speaker 1: I've never really publicly talked about before. It is totally unfiltered, unscripted. 5 00:00:17,239 --> 00:00:19,479 Speaker 1: I turn on my mic in my camera and Irock 6 00:00:19,560 --> 00:00:24,400 Speaker 1: and Roll and today's topic is why a simple gratitude 7 00:00:24,400 --> 00:00:27,600 Speaker 1: practice can change your life. So I'm going to get 8 00:00:27,640 --> 00:00:29,880 Speaker 1: really raw and kind of open and vulnerable here for 9 00:00:29,920 --> 00:00:35,240 Speaker 1: a minute and tell you guys that, admittedly, a couple 10 00:00:35,280 --> 00:00:40,279 Speaker 1: of years ago, I started getting really bad anxiety, and 11 00:00:40,320 --> 00:00:45,479 Speaker 1: the anxiety was very work related. I just wasn't being 12 00:00:45,520 --> 00:00:50,479 Speaker 1: made to feel super valued and appreciated in some of 13 00:00:50,520 --> 00:00:53,440 Speaker 1: the lines of work that I do with some of 14 00:00:53,440 --> 00:00:56,320 Speaker 1: the different companies over the years, and it left me 15 00:00:56,440 --> 00:01:01,400 Speaker 1: feeling really defeated and honestly like shit, Like I felt 16 00:01:01,440 --> 00:01:04,360 Speaker 1: really really bad about myself. And I think a lot 17 00:01:04,400 --> 00:01:08,479 Speaker 1: of people can sympathize and empathize with that in their 18 00:01:08,520 --> 00:01:13,720 Speaker 1: respective careers. But there's something especially lonely sometimes about being 19 00:01:14,080 --> 00:01:18,080 Speaker 1: your own boss, about being a freelancer. And I work 20 00:01:18,160 --> 00:01:22,000 Speaker 1: for amazing companies and dream companies. I mean, I'm so 21 00:01:22,080 --> 00:01:24,959 Speaker 1: grateful for it. But with that comes kind of you 22 00:01:25,040 --> 00:01:27,039 Speaker 1: working alone on your own little island a lot of 23 00:01:27,080 --> 00:01:31,360 Speaker 1: the time, and nobody really sees the immense, immense amount 24 00:01:31,400 --> 00:01:34,200 Speaker 1: of behind the scenes work that goes into bringing all 25 00:01:34,240 --> 00:01:36,759 Speaker 1: of the things to life right, so you just feel 26 00:01:36,760 --> 00:01:39,760 Speaker 1: alone sometimes. And I was really suffering from bad anxiety. 27 00:01:40,360 --> 00:01:44,200 Speaker 1: So I scheduled my first ever therapy session a couple 28 00:01:44,160 --> 00:01:47,400 Speaker 1: of years ago with this incredible woman, and we had 29 00:01:47,400 --> 00:01:50,960 Speaker 1: a session and it literally it just changed my entire 30 00:01:51,040 --> 00:01:53,320 Speaker 1: outlook in my perspectives. One of the things she said 31 00:01:53,360 --> 00:01:56,280 Speaker 1: to me, in fact, in that therapy session was, sometimes 32 00:01:56,280 --> 00:01:59,440 Speaker 1: it feels like I'm on a volleyball court and I 33 00:01:59,480 --> 00:02:01,960 Speaker 1: am bound the ball kind of up and down, up 34 00:02:01,960 --> 00:02:04,880 Speaker 1: and down, up and down volume to myself, and I 35 00:02:04,960 --> 00:02:06,240 Speaker 1: just want to be able to hit it over the 36 00:02:06,280 --> 00:02:09,040 Speaker 1: net and have someone catch it. But I don't have that, 37 00:02:09,639 --> 00:02:12,520 Speaker 1: and I often feel like I don't have that, and 38 00:02:12,560 --> 00:02:15,440 Speaker 1: it really put things in perspective to just kind of, 39 00:02:16,360 --> 00:02:19,000 Speaker 1: you know, justify that I can feel the way I 40 00:02:19,040 --> 00:02:21,800 Speaker 1: feel sometimes. But then I'm somebody who likes action and 41 00:02:21,840 --> 00:02:25,239 Speaker 1: I like to make changes to better my life. That's 42 00:02:25,240 --> 00:02:28,440 Speaker 1: always been my jam. I'm not small. Alesta wallow. I 43 00:02:28,480 --> 00:02:31,040 Speaker 1: don't like to say, you know, there's nothing we can do. 44 00:02:31,200 --> 00:02:35,320 Speaker 1: I'm like an action oriented goal setting Let's make things better. 45 00:02:35,360 --> 00:02:39,840 Speaker 1: We have one life to live, let's fucking go. So 46 00:02:40,200 --> 00:02:43,600 Speaker 1: over the last few years, I really started tapping into 47 00:02:43,639 --> 00:02:46,040 Speaker 1: my own gratitude practice. And I kid you not, and 48 00:02:46,080 --> 00:02:48,680 Speaker 1: I'm sorry if this sounds a little woo woo and whatever, 49 00:02:48,800 --> 00:02:51,840 Speaker 1: but you're here for a reason. It has changed my 50 00:02:52,080 --> 00:02:55,840 Speaker 1: entire life and my entire outlook. Of course, there's always 51 00:02:55,840 --> 00:02:57,680 Speaker 1: going to be a day that's not great, you know, 52 00:02:57,760 --> 00:03:00,200 Speaker 1: that's life. You're never going to have a perfect three 53 00:03:00,280 --> 00:03:03,240 Speaker 1: hundred and sixty five day year. But these tools have 54 00:03:03,280 --> 00:03:06,200 Speaker 1: helped me really tap into the things that make me 55 00:03:06,320 --> 00:03:08,640 Speaker 1: feel good and make me feel appreciative and give me 56 00:03:08,720 --> 00:03:11,120 Speaker 1: gratitude and grace in my life so that when things 57 00:03:11,160 --> 00:03:14,040 Speaker 1: are tough, I can focus also on the things that 58 00:03:14,600 --> 00:03:19,400 Speaker 1: make life great. So here's what I do. And this 59 00:03:19,720 --> 00:03:23,600 Speaker 1: makes me feel super calm and just connected and grounded 60 00:03:23,680 --> 00:03:25,440 Speaker 1: and like I actually do have both feet on the 61 00:03:25,440 --> 00:03:30,720 Speaker 1: ground during a really kind of uneasy time that we're 62 00:03:30,720 --> 00:03:33,520 Speaker 1: all living in in this world. So the first thing 63 00:03:33,560 --> 00:03:35,760 Speaker 1: I do for my gratitude practice, and I've never really 64 00:03:35,760 --> 00:03:39,080 Speaker 1: talked about this. This is me being vulnerable and very 65 00:03:39,120 --> 00:03:40,880 Speaker 1: like I said, a little woo wooie, but I hope 66 00:03:40,880 --> 00:03:43,200 Speaker 1: it helps you. The first thing I do for my 67 00:03:43,240 --> 00:03:46,680 Speaker 1: gratitude practice is every morning when I walk to the gym, 68 00:03:47,840 --> 00:03:54,200 Speaker 1: I literally thank the universe and God whatever that means 69 00:03:54,240 --> 00:03:57,360 Speaker 1: to you for the things in my life, things that 70 00:03:57,440 --> 00:04:01,000 Speaker 1: can include you know, I'm thankful for the roof above 71 00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:03,200 Speaker 1: my head. I'm thankful for the friends and family I have, 72 00:04:03,400 --> 00:04:06,240 Speaker 1: or my husband, for my health. Whatever that list is, 73 00:04:06,360 --> 00:04:08,320 Speaker 1: I go through it and I kind of say it 74 00:04:08,360 --> 00:04:11,440 Speaker 1: to myself very quietly as I walk to the gym. 75 00:04:11,920 --> 00:04:14,280 Speaker 1: Literally say it out loud, not in your mind, just 76 00:04:14,400 --> 00:04:17,159 Speaker 1: gently say it out loud to yourself. So whether you 77 00:04:17,200 --> 00:04:19,279 Speaker 1: do that in your kitchen when you're doing dishes or 78 00:04:19,560 --> 00:04:22,480 Speaker 1: having a cup of coffee, it's just an important time 79 00:04:22,520 --> 00:04:24,160 Speaker 1: to do it. And it takes no more than I 80 00:04:24,200 --> 00:04:27,360 Speaker 1: don't know, a minute, right, takes a minute. Then I 81 00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:29,719 Speaker 1: say hello to the people in my life who have 82 00:04:29,760 --> 00:04:34,000 Speaker 1: passed away. I've lost some incredible people in my life, 83 00:04:34,080 --> 00:04:37,360 Speaker 1: and then I've had people who have died before I 84 00:04:37,400 --> 00:04:39,760 Speaker 1: was even bored, like my grandma who I've never met. 85 00:04:39,920 --> 00:04:42,920 Speaker 1: And I've started this dialogue with her over the last 86 00:04:42,920 --> 00:04:47,159 Speaker 1: few years, pretty consistently daily, to the point where I 87 00:04:47,160 --> 00:04:48,880 Speaker 1: feel like she knows me and I know her, and 88 00:04:48,920 --> 00:04:51,800 Speaker 1: it's just reassuring. It's just nice to feel like you 89 00:04:51,839 --> 00:04:54,719 Speaker 1: have people out there looking after you and hearing you 90 00:04:54,800 --> 00:04:56,440 Speaker 1: and listening to you, and that you can vent to 91 00:04:56,560 --> 00:04:59,520 Speaker 1: and talk to. So I have about five people who 92 00:04:59,520 --> 00:05:01,599 Speaker 1: have passed on my list, and I always say good 93 00:05:01,600 --> 00:05:04,760 Speaker 1: morning and good night too, and I talk to them sometimes. 94 00:05:04,839 --> 00:05:06,560 Speaker 1: I talk to them, sometimes I tell them what I 95 00:05:06,560 --> 00:05:09,000 Speaker 1: miss about them. Sometimes I ask them for guidance and 96 00:05:09,040 --> 00:05:11,680 Speaker 1: help for whatever's going on in my life. But having 97 00:05:11,720 --> 00:05:16,040 Speaker 1: that realization that there's so much more beyond just this, 98 00:05:16,320 --> 00:05:20,120 Speaker 1: beyond us, is something that makes me feel less anxious 99 00:05:20,160 --> 00:05:22,719 Speaker 1: as well. It just does. I can't explain why, but 100 00:05:22,800 --> 00:05:24,960 Speaker 1: it does. And I also express my gratitude for having 101 00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:27,960 Speaker 1: those relationships. While they're not physical, they mean everything to 102 00:05:28,000 --> 00:05:29,960 Speaker 1: me and I don't know what I would do without them. 103 00:05:30,360 --> 00:05:31,840 Speaker 1: Have I lost you, guys yet? I told you this 104 00:05:31,880 --> 00:05:35,520 Speaker 1: is a little woo WOOI I also am a really 105 00:05:35,520 --> 00:05:41,159 Speaker 1: big believer in putting out the things you want to attract, 106 00:05:41,320 --> 00:05:45,680 Speaker 1: and I'm not like this, you know, super super over 107 00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:48,760 Speaker 1: the top manifestor, but I keep it simple, and here's 108 00:05:48,800 --> 00:05:51,600 Speaker 1: what I say every morning, five times in a row. 109 00:05:51,800 --> 00:05:54,760 Speaker 1: I say, I am ready for all of the wonderful 110 00:05:54,839 --> 00:05:58,080 Speaker 1: and magical things that are coming my way today, professionally 111 00:05:58,160 --> 00:06:00,440 Speaker 1: and personally. I am ready for for all of the 112 00:06:00,480 --> 00:06:03,000 Speaker 1: magical and wonderful things that are coming my way today, 113 00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:06,480 Speaker 1: professionally and personally. I say it five times back to back, 114 00:06:06,760 --> 00:06:08,560 Speaker 1: and that just kind of clears the air, sets the 115 00:06:08,600 --> 00:06:11,000 Speaker 1: tone for you know, you being open to receive all 116 00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:13,120 Speaker 1: of the amazing things that may be coming personally and 117 00:06:13,160 --> 00:06:15,960 Speaker 1: professionally your way. I say it every single day, and 118 00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:18,359 Speaker 1: it just clears the energy. It keeps that anxious energy 119 00:06:18,400 --> 00:06:20,919 Speaker 1: away so that you are open to some amazing things 120 00:06:20,960 --> 00:06:22,800 Speaker 1: that may come your way that you don't even know 121 00:06:23,200 --> 00:06:26,880 Speaker 1: would come, but that will come. I also like to 122 00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:30,600 Speaker 1: focus any anxiety I have on other people, and in 123 00:06:30,680 --> 00:06:33,400 Speaker 1: those morning you know, messages or prayers or whatever you 124 00:06:33,400 --> 00:06:36,560 Speaker 1: want to call it. I also always wish for happiness 125 00:06:36,880 --> 00:06:38,760 Speaker 1: for all of the friends and family that I love, 126 00:06:38,880 --> 00:06:41,960 Speaker 1: and that their wildest dreams come true. And I think 127 00:06:41,960 --> 00:06:43,840 Speaker 1: that's just kind of a nice statement to put out 128 00:06:43,880 --> 00:06:47,920 Speaker 1: there to show you care and genuinely want the best 129 00:06:47,960 --> 00:06:49,760 Speaker 1: for other people, and I do. I want the people 130 00:06:49,800 --> 00:06:53,520 Speaker 1: in my life to have amazing, wonderful, happy, thriving lives. 131 00:06:53,560 --> 00:06:56,760 Speaker 1: So it's important for me to put that little little 132 00:06:56,800 --> 00:07:01,279 Speaker 1: notion out there for them. And that all takes I 133 00:07:01,279 --> 00:07:05,760 Speaker 1: don't know, four minutes total, three minutes total between the 134 00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:07,680 Speaker 1: talking and of the family members and friends who have 135 00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:10,600 Speaker 1: passed and saying what I'm grateful for and my wishes 136 00:07:10,640 --> 00:07:13,560 Speaker 1: for the people i love and my kind of daily 137 00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:16,680 Speaker 1: you know, manifestation of being open for all the good 138 00:07:16,680 --> 00:07:19,440 Speaker 1: things to come for the day. It really makes you 139 00:07:19,480 --> 00:07:23,520 Speaker 1: feel good, and that little practice reframes everything no matter 140 00:07:23,560 --> 00:07:25,160 Speaker 1: what kind of comes your way for the day. I 141 00:07:25,160 --> 00:07:28,720 Speaker 1: feel like setting up your day with that just makes 142 00:07:28,760 --> 00:07:31,480 Speaker 1: you feel good. And then of course life happens and 143 00:07:31,520 --> 00:07:33,760 Speaker 1: you work, and you have stress, and you have all 144 00:07:33,800 --> 00:07:36,040 Speaker 1: the things kind of going on in your daily life, 145 00:07:36,440 --> 00:07:38,400 Speaker 1: which is why I like to also end the day 146 00:07:39,040 --> 00:07:42,280 Speaker 1: by saying good night to the people that have passed 147 00:07:42,800 --> 00:07:45,240 Speaker 1: and by also saying, you know, these are the things 148 00:07:45,240 --> 00:07:47,760 Speaker 1: today that I'm grateful for that happened. And I never 149 00:07:47,840 --> 00:07:51,560 Speaker 1: realized I had this kind of deep gratitude practice until 150 00:07:51,880 --> 00:07:53,880 Speaker 1: my husband kind of pointed it out to me one 151 00:07:53,920 --> 00:07:56,480 Speaker 1: day and he's like, you really do have a pretty 152 00:07:57,320 --> 00:08:00,160 Speaker 1: intense and beautiful practice, And he actually came out with 153 00:08:00,240 --> 00:08:01,800 Speaker 1: the idea for me to share this today because it 154 00:08:01,840 --> 00:08:04,200 Speaker 1: is very personal to me, and I don't talk about 155 00:08:04,200 --> 00:08:06,120 Speaker 1: it a lot, and I think that whatever things you 156 00:08:06,160 --> 00:08:09,000 Speaker 1: guys do in your prayer time or your practice time, 157 00:08:09,040 --> 00:08:12,760 Speaker 1: that's personal. So I don't think to necessarily share that, 158 00:08:13,200 --> 00:08:15,280 Speaker 1: but I do think it's important because this has really 159 00:08:15,400 --> 00:08:18,680 Speaker 1: changed the game for me in terms of I feel 160 00:08:18,720 --> 00:08:22,280 Speaker 1: less anxious, I feel less stressed. I feel like, no 161 00:08:22,320 --> 00:08:25,320 Speaker 1: matter what life throws my way, I will always remember 162 00:08:25,480 --> 00:08:27,960 Speaker 1: and talk about and think about and be thankful for 163 00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:31,400 Speaker 1: the things that truly give me gratitude and that I feel, 164 00:08:31,840 --> 00:08:36,520 Speaker 1: you know, lucky to have in this life, even something 165 00:08:36,559 --> 00:08:38,600 Speaker 1: as simple as, you know, a roof above my head. 166 00:08:38,640 --> 00:08:40,560 Speaker 1: And I mentioned that earlier. I say it every day. 167 00:08:40,720 --> 00:08:44,400 Speaker 1: I genuinely am grateful for that. I mean, why wouldn't it. 168 00:08:44,400 --> 00:08:47,200 Speaker 1: We be life's hard, man, Life's hard, and you have 169 00:08:47,240 --> 00:08:50,400 Speaker 1: to count your blessings. So being able to focus on 170 00:08:50,600 --> 00:08:54,160 Speaker 1: not just work, not just the bad things, not just 171 00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:57,240 Speaker 1: the stresses that come up, and constantly daily remind yourself 172 00:08:57,280 --> 00:08:59,920 Speaker 1: of what is good in your life. Then there's good. 173 00:09:00,080 --> 00:09:02,880 Speaker 1: You gotta look for it sometimes, but there's good. I 174 00:09:02,920 --> 00:09:09,520 Speaker 1: think is such a beautiful and necessary way to stay present, 175 00:09:09,760 --> 00:09:14,440 Speaker 1: to stay grateful, to stay happy, to stay away from 176 00:09:14,480 --> 00:09:17,520 Speaker 1: the misery and the pitfalls and falling into a negativity 177 00:09:18,400 --> 00:09:23,520 Speaker 1: cycle of spinning and spewing out things that are not 178 00:09:23,600 --> 00:09:27,520 Speaker 1: serving you for the higher good. Right, So, gratitude is 179 00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:30,280 Speaker 1: so so important. Some people like to journal, some people 180 00:09:30,360 --> 00:09:32,920 Speaker 1: like to write the things are grateful for down rock on. 181 00:09:33,040 --> 00:09:35,040 Speaker 1: If that's your vibe, I just say it to myself. 182 00:09:35,120 --> 00:09:36,920 Speaker 1: I say it to myself, and I really carve out 183 00:09:36,960 --> 00:09:38,800 Speaker 1: those few minutes in the morning to do it in 184 00:09:38,840 --> 00:09:40,960 Speaker 1: a few minutes right before bed as I'm falling asleep 185 00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:43,080 Speaker 1: to do it. Sometimes I fall asleep mid mid thought 186 00:09:43,080 --> 00:09:45,160 Speaker 1: in my mind, and that's okay, that's a beautiful way 187 00:09:45,200 --> 00:09:47,640 Speaker 1: to fall asleep. But I think that we have to 188 00:09:47,720 --> 00:09:50,560 Speaker 1: remember in the busyness of life to carve out time 189 00:09:50,600 --> 00:09:55,400 Speaker 1: to do that. So that's just the little things I do. 190 00:09:55,480 --> 00:09:57,200 Speaker 1: I'm sure there are more things I do that I 191 00:09:57,240 --> 00:09:58,839 Speaker 1: can't think of right now, but that's kind of my 192 00:09:59,320 --> 00:10:02,720 Speaker 1: tried and true and I think it gives great perspective 193 00:10:03,440 --> 00:10:06,280 Speaker 1: for your day. For your life, for your year, and 194 00:10:06,640 --> 00:10:09,760 Speaker 1: we should never stop being grateful for the things that 195 00:10:09,800 --> 00:10:12,400 Speaker 1: we do have. Life's hard, man, life is hard, and 196 00:10:12,440 --> 00:10:14,360 Speaker 1: there's not always going to be good days. But if 197 00:10:14,360 --> 00:10:16,800 Speaker 1: we can find a little bit of good in our day, 198 00:10:17,679 --> 00:10:19,760 Speaker 1: then it sets it's up for more success. And like 199 00:10:19,800 --> 00:10:23,160 Speaker 1: I said, it's helped me tremendously with my anxiety and 200 00:10:23,240 --> 00:10:28,600 Speaker 1: it's made me feel really really just frickin blessed and 201 00:10:28,640 --> 00:10:31,360 Speaker 1: grateful to be here. I know if wu wu is 202 00:10:31,400 --> 00:10:33,440 Speaker 1: not your thing, thank you for bearing with me on 203 00:10:33,480 --> 00:10:37,840 Speaker 1: this episode. But I'm just sharing my truth. I am 204 00:10:37,920 --> 00:10:40,480 Speaker 1: sharing my truth with you in hopes that you two 205 00:10:40,600 --> 00:10:44,120 Speaker 1: can feel better about whatever it is you're going through, 206 00:10:44,360 --> 00:10:47,040 Speaker 1: or just day to day feels just a little bit happier, 207 00:10:47,080 --> 00:10:49,480 Speaker 1: because that's what we all deserve. We all deserve that 208 00:10:50,120 --> 00:10:52,320 Speaker 1: we need to take care of our mind, body, and spirits. 209 00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:54,160 Speaker 1: Wellness is a huge thing for me. I think you 210 00:10:54,200 --> 00:10:56,120 Speaker 1: know that if you follow me by now. And I'm 211 00:10:56,160 --> 00:10:59,240 Speaker 1: not just big on exercising in the physicality of it all, 212 00:10:59,480 --> 00:11:02,320 Speaker 1: I'm getting better and better with my own mental health 213 00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:05,920 Speaker 1: and I think that's super super important. So here's to 214 00:11:06,320 --> 00:11:10,680 Speaker 1: being grateful and for celebrating the things in our lives 215 00:11:10,720 --> 00:11:13,559 Speaker 1: that make us feel good because you, my friends, you 216 00:11:13,679 --> 00:11:16,440 Speaker 1: deserve it. Now go get yourselves out of bed or 217 00:11:16,920 --> 00:11:19,640 Speaker 1: down the street or with a fun beverage and say 218 00:11:19,640 --> 00:11:22,520 Speaker 1: what you're grateful for. All right, Love you guys, You're 219 00:11:22,520 --> 00:11:27,760 Speaker 1: the best. I've Never Said This Before is hosted by Me, 220 00:11:28,080 --> 00:11:32,920 Speaker 1: Tommy Dedario. This podcast is executive produced by Andrew Publisi 221 00:11:33,040 --> 00:11:37,520 Speaker 1: at iHeartRadio and by Me Tommy, with editing by Joshua Colaudney. 222 00:11:38,240 --> 00:11:40,480 Speaker 1: I've Never Said This Before is part of the Elvis 223 00:11:40,559 --> 00:11:45,040 Speaker 1: Duran podcast Network on iHeart Podcasts. For more, rate review 224 00:11:45,120 --> 00:11:48,199 Speaker 1: and subscribe to our show and if you like this episode, 225 00:11:48,400 --> 00:11:52,760 Speaker 1: tell your friends. Until next time, I'm Tommy Dedario.