WEBVTT - I Choose ... a Happy Holiday!

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<v Speaker 1>You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Girl. Happy

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<v Speaker 1>holidays everyone, Okay, I'm sending you so much love from

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<v Speaker 1>my house to yours. And at my house, the trees decorated,

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<v Speaker 1>the lights are on, the music's on. We are all

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<v Speaker 1>still in our cute matching jammies, our Christmas jammies. I've

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<v Speaker 1>made it a tradition, you guys, to all have matching

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<v Speaker 1>jammis every year. I know it's a little extra. The

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<v Speaker 1>guys don't really love it as much as the girls,

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<v Speaker 1>but they humor me. So thanks guys. And honestly, I

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<v Speaker 1>might just order Chinese food because I'm so wiped for Thanksgiving,

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<v Speaker 1>if I'm being honest. But in all this coziness, I'm

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<v Speaker 1>also thinking ahead, because somehow we are already on the

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<v Speaker 1>edge of twenty twenty six. I cannot believe it. So

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<v Speaker 1>today's episode of I Choose Me is a gentle one.

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<v Speaker 1>It's a pause, a look back at twenty twenty five,

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<v Speaker 1>the places we have stretched ourselves to thin, the moments

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<v Speaker 1>we abandon our own needs, the boundaries we didn't hold,

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<v Speaker 1>and then the part I love. We are going to

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<v Speaker 1>walk into the new year together with honesty and forgiveness,

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<v Speaker 1>and six simple ways to choose ourselves with more peace

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<v Speaker 1>and intention. So if you need a little grounding today,

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<v Speaker 1>a little hope, or just a moment that is yours,

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<v Speaker 1>this episode is for you because we are on the

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<v Speaker 1>cusp of a brand new year. So here we go.

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<v Speaker 1>Here's my first question for you. Where did you give

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<v Speaker 1>more energy than you got back? Think about that. Maybe

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<v Speaker 1>it was your work. Maybe it was a relationship where

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<v Speaker 1>you did more of the heavy emotional lifting. Maybe it

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<v Speaker 1>was always being the reliable one, the fixer, the helper,

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<v Speaker 1>the person everyone calls when their lives are falling apart.

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<v Speaker 1>Even though you would drop everything to help the people

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<v Speaker 1>you love, maybe you didn't ask for help because, like me,

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<v Speaker 1>you didn't want to be a burden. We all do it.

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<v Speaker 1>We all have those blind spots where we treat ourselves

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<v Speaker 1>like an afterthought. The problem is when you spend a

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<v Speaker 1>whole year being the emotional shock absorber for everyone else,

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<v Speaker 1>you end up depleted, resentful, and just bone tired in

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<v Speaker 1>a way sleep can't even fix. So let's do this.

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<v Speaker 1>Let's name it. Where did you say yes when you

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<v Speaker 1>meant no? Where did you ignore the little voice in

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<v Speaker 1>your gut? Where did you feel small or invisible or unheard,

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<v Speaker 1>but just kept going anyway. I had moments of that

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<v Speaker 1>this year. Moments where my schedule owned me like a

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<v Speaker 1>dog on a leash instead of the other way around.

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<v Speaker 1>Moments where I let someone else's expectations override my own needs.

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<v Speaker 1>Moments where I poured from a cup that was basically

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<v Speaker 1>as dry as the Haar desert. This year, I like

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<v Speaker 1>to be done with that this new year. I want

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<v Speaker 1>to stand up for myself the way I stand up

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<v Speaker 1>for my kids, from my mom, from my husband, for

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<v Speaker 1>my friends. And I want that for you too. So

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<v Speaker 1>get ready. Let's blow twenty twenty six up in the

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<v Speaker 1>best way possible. So here are six solid ways to

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<v Speaker 1>chew yourself in the new year. Not fluffy resolutions that

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<v Speaker 1>never happen, not New Year Knew Me, bullshit pressure. I'm

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<v Speaker 1>talking real tools for real humans trying to build real peace.

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<v Speaker 1>Number One, set one boundary you can actually enforce, not

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<v Speaker 1>ten boundaries. One boundary, one place where you stop abandoning yourself.

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<v Speaker 1>Maybe it's not answering work techs after a certain hour.

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<v Speaker 1>I see my producer nodding right now, hoping that I

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<v Speaker 1>do that one. Maybe it's telling the friend who always

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<v Speaker 1>trauma dumps. I love you, but I am not available

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<v Speaker 1>for this right now. Maybe it's saying no to hosting everything,

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<v Speaker 1>every holiday, every school thing, every family obligation. Find the

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<v Speaker 1>place where twenty twenty five took advantage of you and

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<v Speaker 1>seal that leak. A boundary is not a wall, it's

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<v Speaker 1>a doorway where you are the one who gets to

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<v Speaker 1>decide who walks through. Number two, Reclaim the time you

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<v Speaker 1>gave away last year. In my twenty fifth hour episode,

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<v Speaker 1>we talked about how there is no magical extra hour

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<v Speaker 1>waiting for us in the sky. We have the same

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<v Speaker 1>twenty four hours as everyone else. And guess what, we

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<v Speaker 1>use a good chunk of twenty twenty five pouring our

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<v Speaker 1>time into things that didn't serve us or our well being.

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<v Speaker 1>So in twenty twenty six, picture yourself choosing one window

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<v Speaker 1>of time every week, just one that is yours, non negotiable, untouchable,

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<v Speaker 1>and start to cross off that time in your brand

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<v Speaker 1>new calendar. Maybe it's Sunday mornings, Maybe it's Wednesdays at lunch.

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<v Speaker 1>Maybe it's thirty minutes the end of the day. In

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<v Speaker 1>your version of a rose Garden, protect it. Follow through

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<v Speaker 1>with it. Treat it like it is an appointment with

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<v Speaker 1>your future self, because that is exactly what it is.

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<v Speaker 1>Number three, stop explaining your no. We over explain everything

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<v Speaker 1>because we don't want to disappoint anyone. We over explain

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<v Speaker 1>because we feel guilty for our own needs. We over

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<v Speaker 1>explain because we think a no has to come with

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<v Speaker 1>a full report, but it doesn't. A simple thank you,

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<v Speaker 1>but I'm not available right now, or I can't take

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<v Speaker 1>that on this week. That's enough. It might be hard

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<v Speaker 1>because they may be disappointed, But my dear, that is

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<v Speaker 1>theirs to hold, not yours. I know, why know. Maybe

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<v Speaker 1>let's hear that again. If they're disappointed because you said no,

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<v Speaker 1>that is theirs too hold. That might take some practice,

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<v Speaker 1>but you can do it. You saying no is okay.

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<v Speaker 1>A no is complete on its own. You don't need

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<v Speaker 1>to dress it up, accessorize it, or give it a

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<v Speaker 1>long backstory. Next year, allow yourself to say no more often.

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<v Speaker 1>Number four, Rest like it's part of your job, because

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<v Speaker 1>it is. Here's something we forget. Rest is not a

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<v Speaker 1>reward at the end of the week. It's maintenance that

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<v Speaker 1>allows you to show up for a busy week. I've

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<v Speaker 1>said it before, rest is not lazy. It's maintenance for

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<v Speaker 1>your soul. And that truth applies double during the holiday

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<v Speaker 1>season as we wind down and and we ramp up

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<v Speaker 1>for a new year. We live in a culture that

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<v Speaker 1>celebrates burnout like it's a badge of honor. We choose

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<v Speaker 1>productivity like it's proof of our worth or something. We

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<v Speaker 1>treat exhaustion like it's noble. But if you don't rest,

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<v Speaker 1>guess what you break. And if you break, everything around

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<v Speaker 1>you breaks a little bit too. In these last days

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<v Speaker 1>at twenty twenty five, choose rest, Choose recovery, Choose softness,

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<v Speaker 1>Choose not pushing through when your body is begging you

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<v Speaker 1>to stop. You know, I'm also talking to myself here,

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<v Speaker 1>so thank you for walking this journey with me. And

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<v Speaker 1>I really mean that number five. Tell yourself the truth

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<v Speaker 1>about your relationships. I know this is a hard one,

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<v Speaker 1>but in the new year, you deserve honesty. So I

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<v Speaker 1>want you to ask yourself who showed up for you

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<v Speaker 1>this year, Who consistently took from you without giving back,

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<v Speaker 1>Who drains your energy? Who makes you feel good? Who

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<v Speaker 1>makes you feel like the person you want to be.

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<v Speaker 1>This isn't about cutting people out dramatically. I wouldn't recommend

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<v Speaker 1>that I've done it doesn't go over well. It's about

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<v Speaker 1>repositioning what's important to you. Spend less time chasing people

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<v Speaker 1>who don't choose you, and spend more time watering the

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<v Speaker 1>relationships that make you feel whole. Choose reciprocity, Choose emotional safety.

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<v Speaker 1>Choose people who see your worth without asking you to

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<v Speaker 1>earn it. And number six for twenty twenty six, choose

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<v Speaker 1>goals that serve your soul. Your New year goals don't

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<v Speaker 1>have to be sparkly, impressive or instagram worthy. Honestly, most

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<v Speaker 1>New Year's resolutions actually fail in the first two weeks

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<v Speaker 1>of January. So make goals that serve you period. Maybe

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<v Speaker 1>your goal is to speak more kindly to yourself or

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<v Speaker 1>to your spouse. Maybe it's to stop fixing other people's problems.

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<v Speaker 1>Maybe it's to let something be good enough instead of perfect,

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<v Speaker 1>to stop saying sorry every time you need something or

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<v Speaker 1>don't like something. Maybe it's to practice being comfortable saying no.

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<v Speaker 1>Your goals should nourish you, not push you too hard

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<v Speaker 1>or punish you. Okay, now take a little break, take

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<v Speaker 1>a breath, Let that all settle in choosing yourself in

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<v Speaker 1>the New Year isn't about tightening up or toughening up

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<v Speaker 1>or being stronger. It's about softening into who you really

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<v Speaker 1>are and protecting that person with everything you've got. It's

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<v Speaker 1>about deciding that the version of you who got bruised

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<v Speaker 1>in twenty twenty five deserves better in twenty twenty six.

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<v Speaker 1>It's about creating a life where your peace is not

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<v Speaker 1>an afterthought. It's about remembering that you can love deeply

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<v Speaker 1>and still say no. Sometimes you can show up and

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<v Speaker 1>still set boundaries. You can be nurturing and still refuse

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<v Speaker 1>to deplete yourself completely. Remember you don't need another hour.

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<v Speaker 1>You just need to believe that you are worthy of

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<v Speaker 1>the hours you already have. So as we say goodbye

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<v Speaker 1>to twenty twenty five, let's give ourselves a break. Let's

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<v Speaker 1>reflect on all that has happened, what we've accomplished, and

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<v Speaker 1>what we have chosen for ourselves so far. In the

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<v Speaker 1>new year, please stay with me as we continue to

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<v Speaker 1>challenge ourselves to grow and to choose ourselves all over again.

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<v Speaker 1>Congratulations on a job well done. I'm so proud of you.

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<v Speaker 1>Congratulations for getting comfortable choosing yourself, for honoring the version

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<v Speaker 1>of yourself you are becoming because when you choose yourself,

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<v Speaker 1>everything else becomes a little more possible. I love you

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<v Speaker 1>all so much. Happy holidays, Let's keep going together.