1 00:00:01,639 --> 00:00:08,880 Speaker 1: You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Girl. Happy 2 00:00:08,920 --> 00:00:13,480 Speaker 1: holidays everyone, Okay, I'm sending you so much love from 3 00:00:13,480 --> 00:00:17,439 Speaker 1: my house to yours. And at my house, the trees decorated, 4 00:00:17,480 --> 00:00:20,960 Speaker 1: the lights are on, the music's on. We are all 5 00:00:21,040 --> 00:00:25,680 Speaker 1: still in our cute matching jammies, our Christmas jammies. I've 6 00:00:25,680 --> 00:00:28,880 Speaker 1: made it a tradition, you guys, to all have matching 7 00:00:28,960 --> 00:00:31,720 Speaker 1: jammis every year. I know it's a little extra. The 8 00:00:31,760 --> 00:00:34,240 Speaker 1: guys don't really love it as much as the girls, 9 00:00:34,240 --> 00:00:38,159 Speaker 1: but they humor me. So thanks guys. And honestly, I 10 00:00:38,320 --> 00:00:41,760 Speaker 1: might just order Chinese food because I'm so wiped for Thanksgiving, 11 00:00:41,800 --> 00:00:46,120 Speaker 1: if I'm being honest. But in all this coziness, I'm 12 00:00:46,159 --> 00:00:51,080 Speaker 1: also thinking ahead, because somehow we are already on the 13 00:00:51,280 --> 00:00:54,880 Speaker 1: edge of twenty twenty six. I cannot believe it. So 14 00:00:55,160 --> 00:00:58,960 Speaker 1: today's episode of I Choose Me is a gentle one. 15 00:00:59,320 --> 00:01:02,320 Speaker 1: It's a pause, a look back at twenty twenty five, 16 00:01:02,760 --> 00:01:06,840 Speaker 1: the places we have stretched ourselves to thin, the moments 17 00:01:06,880 --> 00:01:10,880 Speaker 1: we abandon our own needs, the boundaries we didn't hold, 18 00:01:11,680 --> 00:01:14,720 Speaker 1: and then the part I love. We are going to 19 00:01:14,800 --> 00:01:19,560 Speaker 1: walk into the new year together with honesty and forgiveness, 20 00:01:19,720 --> 00:01:25,360 Speaker 1: and six simple ways to choose ourselves with more peace 21 00:01:25,600 --> 00:01:29,480 Speaker 1: and intention. So if you need a little grounding today, 22 00:01:29,720 --> 00:01:32,880 Speaker 1: a little hope, or just a moment that is yours, 23 00:01:33,560 --> 00:01:36,720 Speaker 1: this episode is for you because we are on the 24 00:01:36,840 --> 00:01:41,399 Speaker 1: cusp of a brand new year. So here we go. 25 00:01:41,480 --> 00:01:45,400 Speaker 1: Here's my first question for you. Where did you give 26 00:01:45,840 --> 00:01:50,400 Speaker 1: more energy than you got back? Think about that. Maybe 27 00:01:50,880 --> 00:01:55,080 Speaker 1: it was your work. Maybe it was a relationship where 28 00:01:55,160 --> 00:02:01,440 Speaker 1: you did more of the heavy emotional lifting. Maybe it 29 00:02:01,480 --> 00:02:06,480 Speaker 1: was always being the reliable one, the fixer, the helper, 30 00:02:06,600 --> 00:02:11,919 Speaker 1: the person everyone calls when their lives are falling apart. 31 00:02:12,480 --> 00:02:15,799 Speaker 1: Even though you would drop everything to help the people 32 00:02:15,840 --> 00:02:20,200 Speaker 1: you love, maybe you didn't ask for help because, like me, 33 00:02:21,480 --> 00:02:24,520 Speaker 1: you didn't want to be a burden. We all do it. 34 00:02:24,919 --> 00:02:29,840 Speaker 1: We all have those blind spots where we treat ourselves 35 00:02:29,880 --> 00:02:33,920 Speaker 1: like an afterthought. The problem is when you spend a 36 00:02:33,960 --> 00:02:38,840 Speaker 1: whole year being the emotional shock absorber for everyone else, 37 00:02:39,440 --> 00:02:45,040 Speaker 1: you end up depleted, resentful, and just bone tired in 38 00:02:45,080 --> 00:02:49,440 Speaker 1: a way sleep can't even fix. So let's do this. 39 00:02:49,600 --> 00:02:53,840 Speaker 1: Let's name it. Where did you say yes when you 40 00:02:53,919 --> 00:02:58,360 Speaker 1: meant no? Where did you ignore the little voice in 41 00:02:58,440 --> 00:03:04,880 Speaker 1: your gut? Where did you feel small or invisible or unheard, 42 00:03:05,720 --> 00:03:09,880 Speaker 1: but just kept going anyway. I had moments of that 43 00:03:10,080 --> 00:03:14,080 Speaker 1: this year. Moments where my schedule owned me like a 44 00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:17,880 Speaker 1: dog on a leash instead of the other way around. 45 00:03:18,520 --> 00:03:24,960 Speaker 1: Moments where I let someone else's expectations override my own needs. 46 00:03:25,800 --> 00:03:28,960 Speaker 1: Moments where I poured from a cup that was basically 47 00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:33,480 Speaker 1: as dry as the Haar desert. This year, I like 48 00:03:33,560 --> 00:03:37,840 Speaker 1: to be done with that this new year. I want 49 00:03:37,880 --> 00:03:40,880 Speaker 1: to stand up for myself the way I stand up 50 00:03:40,920 --> 00:03:43,600 Speaker 1: for my kids, from my mom, from my husband, for 51 00:03:43,760 --> 00:03:48,640 Speaker 1: my friends. And I want that for you too. So 52 00:03:49,360 --> 00:03:53,440 Speaker 1: get ready. Let's blow twenty twenty six up in the 53 00:03:53,480 --> 00:03:59,640 Speaker 1: best way possible. So here are six solid ways to 54 00:03:59,760 --> 00:04:03,280 Speaker 1: chew yourself in the new year. Not fluffy resolutions that 55 00:04:03,360 --> 00:04:08,000 Speaker 1: never happen, not New Year Knew Me, bullshit pressure. I'm 56 00:04:08,040 --> 00:04:13,160 Speaker 1: talking real tools for real humans trying to build real peace. 57 00:04:14,440 --> 00:04:21,200 Speaker 1: Number One, set one boundary you can actually enforce, not 58 00:04:21,320 --> 00:04:26,960 Speaker 1: ten boundaries. One boundary, one place where you stop abandoning yourself. 59 00:04:28,040 --> 00:04:31,680 Speaker 1: Maybe it's not answering work techs after a certain hour. 60 00:04:32,160 --> 00:04:35,039 Speaker 1: I see my producer nodding right now, hoping that I 61 00:04:35,120 --> 00:04:39,400 Speaker 1: do that one. Maybe it's telling the friend who always 62 00:04:39,760 --> 00:04:44,000 Speaker 1: trauma dumps. I love you, but I am not available 63 00:04:44,040 --> 00:04:49,120 Speaker 1: for this right now. Maybe it's saying no to hosting everything, 64 00:04:49,279 --> 00:04:55,240 Speaker 1: every holiday, every school thing, every family obligation. Find the 65 00:04:55,279 --> 00:04:58,680 Speaker 1: place where twenty twenty five took advantage of you and 66 00:04:58,839 --> 00:05:03,920 Speaker 1: seal that leak. A boundary is not a wall, it's 67 00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:07,400 Speaker 1: a doorway where you are the one who gets to 68 00:05:07,440 --> 00:05:12,880 Speaker 1: decide who walks through. Number two, Reclaim the time you 69 00:05:13,040 --> 00:05:17,440 Speaker 1: gave away last year. In my twenty fifth hour episode, 70 00:05:17,440 --> 00:05:20,479 Speaker 1: we talked about how there is no magical extra hour 71 00:05:20,839 --> 00:05:23,680 Speaker 1: waiting for us in the sky. We have the same 72 00:05:23,680 --> 00:05:27,640 Speaker 1: twenty four hours as everyone else. And guess what, we 73 00:05:27,800 --> 00:05:30,880 Speaker 1: use a good chunk of twenty twenty five pouring our 74 00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:35,119 Speaker 1: time into things that didn't serve us or our well being. 75 00:05:36,120 --> 00:05:41,680 Speaker 1: So in twenty twenty six, picture yourself choosing one window 76 00:05:41,920 --> 00:05:48,080 Speaker 1: of time every week, just one that is yours, non negotiable, untouchable, 77 00:05:48,800 --> 00:05:51,320 Speaker 1: and start to cross off that time in your brand 78 00:05:51,400 --> 00:05:57,360 Speaker 1: new calendar. Maybe it's Sunday mornings, Maybe it's Wednesdays at lunch. 79 00:05:58,080 --> 00:06:01,400 Speaker 1: Maybe it's thirty minutes the end of the day. In 80 00:06:01,760 --> 00:06:07,800 Speaker 1: your version of a rose Garden, protect it. Follow through 81 00:06:07,839 --> 00:06:11,120 Speaker 1: with it. Treat it like it is an appointment with 82 00:06:11,240 --> 00:06:14,520 Speaker 1: your future self, because that is exactly what it is. 83 00:06:16,120 --> 00:06:22,520 Speaker 1: Number three, stop explaining your no. We over explain everything 84 00:06:22,560 --> 00:06:25,800 Speaker 1: because we don't want to disappoint anyone. We over explain 85 00:06:25,880 --> 00:06:30,240 Speaker 1: because we feel guilty for our own needs. We over 86 00:06:30,320 --> 00:06:33,640 Speaker 1: explain because we think a no has to come with 87 00:06:33,720 --> 00:06:39,880 Speaker 1: a full report, but it doesn't. A simple thank you, 88 00:06:40,040 --> 00:06:43,600 Speaker 1: but I'm not available right now, or I can't take 89 00:06:43,640 --> 00:06:47,839 Speaker 1: that on this week. That's enough. It might be hard 90 00:06:47,960 --> 00:06:54,159 Speaker 1: because they may be disappointed, But my dear, that is 91 00:06:54,160 --> 00:06:59,440 Speaker 1: theirs to hold, not yours. I know, why know. Maybe 92 00:06:59,520 --> 00:07:04,240 Speaker 1: let's hear that again. If they're disappointed because you said no, 93 00:07:05,240 --> 00:07:10,120 Speaker 1: that is theirs too hold. That might take some practice, 94 00:07:10,320 --> 00:07:14,640 Speaker 1: but you can do it. You saying no is okay. 95 00:07:15,360 --> 00:07:18,560 Speaker 1: A no is complete on its own. You don't need 96 00:07:18,600 --> 00:07:21,000 Speaker 1: to dress it up, accessorize it, or give it a 97 00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:27,000 Speaker 1: long backstory. Next year, allow yourself to say no more often. 98 00:07:34,760 --> 00:07:39,240 Speaker 1: Number four, Rest like it's part of your job, because 99 00:07:39,320 --> 00:07:43,240 Speaker 1: it is. Here's something we forget. Rest is not a 100 00:07:43,280 --> 00:07:46,880 Speaker 1: reward at the end of the week. It's maintenance that 101 00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:50,000 Speaker 1: allows you to show up for a busy week. I've 102 00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:53,720 Speaker 1: said it before, rest is not lazy. It's maintenance for 103 00:07:53,840 --> 00:07:58,400 Speaker 1: your soul. And that truth applies double during the holiday 104 00:07:58,440 --> 00:08:01,040 Speaker 1: season as we wind down and and we ramp up 105 00:08:01,160 --> 00:08:03,400 Speaker 1: for a new year. We live in a culture that 106 00:08:03,600 --> 00:08:08,360 Speaker 1: celebrates burnout like it's a badge of honor. We choose 107 00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:13,720 Speaker 1: productivity like it's proof of our worth or something. We 108 00:08:13,800 --> 00:08:18,320 Speaker 1: treat exhaustion like it's noble. But if you don't rest, 109 00:08:18,960 --> 00:08:23,600 Speaker 1: guess what you break. And if you break, everything around 110 00:08:23,680 --> 00:08:27,920 Speaker 1: you breaks a little bit too. In these last days 111 00:08:27,920 --> 00:08:34,520 Speaker 1: at twenty twenty five, choose rest, Choose recovery, Choose softness, 112 00:08:35,200 --> 00:08:39,040 Speaker 1: Choose not pushing through when your body is begging you 113 00:08:39,120 --> 00:08:43,800 Speaker 1: to stop. You know, I'm also talking to myself here, 114 00:08:44,240 --> 00:08:47,720 Speaker 1: so thank you for walking this journey with me. And 115 00:08:47,760 --> 00:08:53,880 Speaker 1: I really mean that number five. Tell yourself the truth 116 00:08:54,120 --> 00:08:59,679 Speaker 1: about your relationships. I know this is a hard one, 117 00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:03,960 Speaker 1: but in the new year, you deserve honesty. So I 118 00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:06,679 Speaker 1: want you to ask yourself who showed up for you 119 00:09:07,160 --> 00:09:12,520 Speaker 1: this year, Who consistently took from you without giving back, 120 00:09:13,679 --> 00:09:18,320 Speaker 1: Who drains your energy? Who makes you feel good? Who 121 00:09:18,400 --> 00:09:21,160 Speaker 1: makes you feel like the person you want to be. 122 00:09:22,679 --> 00:09:26,880 Speaker 1: This isn't about cutting people out dramatically. I wouldn't recommend 123 00:09:26,920 --> 00:09:30,800 Speaker 1: that I've done it doesn't go over well. It's about 124 00:09:31,120 --> 00:09:37,000 Speaker 1: repositioning what's important to you. Spend less time chasing people 125 00:09:37,080 --> 00:09:41,720 Speaker 1: who don't choose you, and spend more time watering the 126 00:09:41,800 --> 00:09:48,959 Speaker 1: relationships that make you feel whole. Choose reciprocity, Choose emotional safety. 127 00:09:49,480 --> 00:09:52,480 Speaker 1: Choose people who see your worth without asking you to 128 00:09:52,559 --> 00:09:58,920 Speaker 1: earn it. And number six for twenty twenty six, choose 129 00:09:58,960 --> 00:10:04,440 Speaker 1: goals that serve your soul. Your New year goals don't 130 00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:10,720 Speaker 1: have to be sparkly, impressive or instagram worthy. Honestly, most 131 00:10:11,080 --> 00:10:14,360 Speaker 1: New Year's resolutions actually fail in the first two weeks 132 00:10:14,360 --> 00:10:20,360 Speaker 1: of January. So make goals that serve you period. Maybe 133 00:10:20,360 --> 00:10:24,280 Speaker 1: your goal is to speak more kindly to yourself or 134 00:10:24,320 --> 00:10:29,679 Speaker 1: to your spouse. Maybe it's to stop fixing other people's problems. 135 00:10:30,720 --> 00:10:34,640 Speaker 1: Maybe it's to let something be good enough instead of perfect, 136 00:10:35,679 --> 00:10:40,440 Speaker 1: to stop saying sorry every time you need something or 137 00:10:40,520 --> 00:10:45,319 Speaker 1: don't like something. Maybe it's to practice being comfortable saying no. 138 00:10:46,760 --> 00:10:51,920 Speaker 1: Your goals should nourish you, not push you too hard 139 00:10:52,080 --> 00:10:57,400 Speaker 1: or punish you. Okay, now take a little break, take 140 00:10:57,440 --> 00:11:02,040 Speaker 1: a breath, Let that all settle in choosing yourself in 141 00:11:02,080 --> 00:11:05,640 Speaker 1: the New Year isn't about tightening up or toughening up 142 00:11:05,720 --> 00:11:10,440 Speaker 1: or being stronger. It's about softening into who you really 143 00:11:10,520 --> 00:11:16,439 Speaker 1: are and protecting that person with everything you've got. It's 144 00:11:16,480 --> 00:11:21,600 Speaker 1: about deciding that the version of you who got bruised 145 00:11:21,640 --> 00:11:26,120 Speaker 1: in twenty twenty five deserves better in twenty twenty six. 146 00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:31,200 Speaker 1: It's about creating a life where your peace is not 147 00:11:31,880 --> 00:11:37,679 Speaker 1: an afterthought. It's about remembering that you can love deeply 148 00:11:38,280 --> 00:11:43,760 Speaker 1: and still say no. Sometimes you can show up and 149 00:11:43,920 --> 00:11:49,440 Speaker 1: still set boundaries. You can be nurturing and still refuse 150 00:11:50,200 --> 00:11:56,439 Speaker 1: to deplete yourself completely. Remember you don't need another hour. 151 00:11:57,120 --> 00:12:01,120 Speaker 1: You just need to believe that you are worthy of 152 00:12:01,160 --> 00:12:05,920 Speaker 1: the hours you already have. So as we say goodbye 153 00:12:06,160 --> 00:12:11,360 Speaker 1: to twenty twenty five, let's give ourselves a break. Let's 154 00:12:11,400 --> 00:12:16,360 Speaker 1: reflect on all that has happened, what we've accomplished, and 155 00:12:16,400 --> 00:12:21,240 Speaker 1: what we have chosen for ourselves so far. In the 156 00:12:21,280 --> 00:12:26,080 Speaker 1: new year, please stay with me as we continue to 157 00:12:26,320 --> 00:12:31,840 Speaker 1: challenge ourselves to grow and to choose ourselves all over again. 158 00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:37,200 Speaker 1: Congratulations on a job well done. I'm so proud of you. 159 00:12:37,679 --> 00:12:43,079 Speaker 1: Congratulations for getting comfortable choosing yourself, for honoring the version 160 00:12:43,280 --> 00:12:47,600 Speaker 1: of yourself you are becoming because when you choose yourself, 161 00:12:48,080 --> 00:12:53,640 Speaker 1: everything else becomes a little more possible. I love you 162 00:12:53,760 --> 00:12:59,160 Speaker 1: all so much. Happy holidays, Let's keep going together.