1
00:00:00,720 --> 00:00:03,400
Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam. This is John the og story

2
00:00:03,480 --> 00:00:04,360
Speaker 1: Time podcast host.

3
00:00:04,360 --> 00:00:06,200
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, and we got some great stories coming up.

4
00:00:06,240 --> 00:00:08,639
Speaker 1: But before that, we get a teeny two minute break

5
00:00:08,680 --> 00:00:11,600
Speaker 1: from the sponsors that keep this show propped up like

6
00:00:11,600 --> 00:00:12,280
Speaker 1: a little house.

7
00:00:12,360 --> 00:00:14,000
Speaker 2: Oh you, My.

8
00:00:14,040 --> 00:00:17,640
Speaker 3: Parents forbid me from speaking to my stepsister, but won't

9
00:00:17,640 --> 00:00:18,040
Speaker 3: tell me.

10
00:00:18,040 --> 00:00:20,360
Speaker 4: Why you can't talk to her.

11
00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:23,840
Speaker 3: In May this year, my mother, forty three female, caught

12
00:00:23,880 --> 00:00:26,760
Speaker 3: the thing that shall not be named. No symptoms, so

13
00:00:26,800 --> 00:00:29,600
Speaker 3: she was fine and is fine. And my stepfather, forty

14
00:00:29,680 --> 00:00:32,879
Speaker 3: nine male, was presenting a few symptoms, but neither she

15
00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:36,160
Speaker 3: or him were bad enough to be admitted at an hospital,

16
00:00:36,440 --> 00:00:39,080
Speaker 3: so doctors recommended staying at home and all that. By

17
00:00:39,080 --> 00:00:40,839
Speaker 3: the way, this comes from deleted and if you want

18
00:00:40,840 --> 00:00:42,640
Speaker 3: to smit your own stories, go to the r slash. Okay,

19
00:00:42,680 --> 00:00:46,239
Speaker 3: Storytime suppered it. I'm Sophia, I'm Carly, I'm Keon, and

20
00:00:46,280 --> 00:00:48,080
Speaker 3: we're here to give you good advice coofully, But we

21
00:00:48,120 --> 00:00:51,159
Speaker 3: don't have all the answers. We only know what we'd do,

22
00:00:51,240 --> 00:00:52,640
Speaker 3: So let us know what you would do in the

23
00:00:52,680 --> 00:00:56,560
Speaker 3: common and OP says, because I fifteen female have a

24
00:00:56,600 --> 00:00:59,279
Speaker 3: week immune system, both of them called some of our

25
00:00:59,320 --> 00:01:01,800
Speaker 3: relatives who close by to see who could keep me

26
00:01:01,880 --> 00:01:04,480
Speaker 3: for a few weeks, but the majority of them couldn't,

27
00:01:04,520 --> 00:01:06,600
Speaker 3: and the only one who could was making me share

28
00:01:06,640 --> 00:01:08,920
Speaker 3: a room with three of my male cousins, so we

29
00:01:08,959 --> 00:01:12,600
Speaker 3: all refused. With no options, my stepfather called his daughter

30
00:01:12,760 --> 00:01:16,520
Speaker 3: to ask this favor, and she accepted. Before I even

31
00:01:16,600 --> 00:01:19,440
Speaker 3: packed my things, my mother pleaded with me to stay

32
00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:22,200
Speaker 3: the maximum of my time there in the guest bedroom,

33
00:01:22,240 --> 00:01:24,640
Speaker 3: trying my best not to get involved with their stepdaughter.

34
00:01:25,560 --> 00:01:28,679
Speaker 3: I'm going to call her Asa, eighteen female. To be honest,

35
00:01:28,760 --> 00:01:31,800
Speaker 3: until that point, I barely knew her. I even imagined

36
00:01:31,840 --> 00:01:34,520
Speaker 3: her being twenty something. The only thing I knew was

37
00:01:34,560 --> 00:01:37,560
Speaker 3: that she lived relatively close to us. I was getting

38
00:01:37,600 --> 00:01:40,840
Speaker 3: ready to pass the most uncomfortable weeks of my life,

39
00:01:41,319 --> 00:01:45,360
Speaker 3: and I was dang wrong. Asa is only three years

40
00:01:45,400 --> 00:01:48,120
Speaker 3: older than me, and she is one of the funniest,

41
00:01:48,280 --> 00:01:51,600
Speaker 3: most charitable, and kindest people I have ever met. The

42
00:01:51,640 --> 00:01:54,160
Speaker 3: whole first week, Asa went the extra mile to get

43
00:01:54,160 --> 00:01:57,080
Speaker 3: to know me and make things comfortable for me. One

44
00:01:57,120 --> 00:02:00,200
Speaker 3: example is that she shares the house with two college students,

45
00:02:00,200 --> 00:02:02,680
Speaker 3: to whom she rents sweets in a more private part

46
00:02:02,680 --> 00:02:05,080
Speaker 3: of the house, but she asked them to keep most

47
00:02:05,080 --> 00:02:07,000
Speaker 3: of their time on their part of the house while

48
00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:09,120
Speaker 3: I was getting while I was getting used to the

49
00:02:09,160 --> 00:02:11,800
Speaker 3: new living situation. And the house she lives in is

50
00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:15,320
Speaker 3: like this perfect paradise. Asa lives in a big house

51
00:02:15,360 --> 00:02:19,480
Speaker 3: that has a greenhouse and a garden where she plants vegetables, fruits,

52
00:02:19,520 --> 00:02:23,040
Speaker 3: and flowers. She inherited it from her aunt, who raised

53
00:02:23,040 --> 00:02:26,440
Speaker 3: her and taught Asa everything about it. There are also

54
00:02:26,520 --> 00:02:28,760
Speaker 3: so many puppies, kittens and little birds.

55
00:02:28,919 --> 00:02:33,639
Speaker 2: What now, y, this just sounds lovely, So you want

56
00:02:33,680 --> 00:02:34,280
Speaker 2: to visit her.

57
00:02:34,520 --> 00:02:36,760
Speaker 4: You're a little Eden in your backyard. I love this.

58
00:02:37,400 --> 00:02:39,280
Speaker 3: She takes care of them while they are finding a

59
00:02:39,320 --> 00:02:42,080
Speaker 3: place to live. I was in awe the whole time there.

60
00:02:42,560 --> 00:02:45,120
Speaker 3: She taught me how to cook a few foreign dishes,

61
00:02:45,560 --> 00:02:48,440
Speaker 3: how to take proper care of plants. She introduced me

62
00:02:48,480 --> 00:02:51,040
Speaker 3: to Lonely Island because I'm a new Andy Samberg fan,

63
00:02:51,480 --> 00:02:54,080
Speaker 3: and she even helped me with homework. I had such

64
00:02:54,080 --> 00:02:57,560
Speaker 3: a wonderful time. After my stay ended, we decided to

65
00:02:57,639 --> 00:03:01,680
Speaker 3: keep in touch. We basically talk every day. Today. We

66
00:03:01,720 --> 00:03:04,440
Speaker 3: are on discord, being a loud as heck, laughing and

67
00:03:04,480 --> 00:03:07,560
Speaker 3: having fun as we've been doing since May. Then my

68
00:03:07,600 --> 00:03:09,600
Speaker 3: stepfather knocked on the door and asked me to go

69
00:03:09,680 --> 00:03:12,720
Speaker 3: help mom with lunch. My stepfather asked who I was

70
00:03:12,800 --> 00:03:16,079
Speaker 3: talking to because he didn't recognize the voice. My mother

71
00:03:16,200 --> 00:03:18,639
Speaker 3: chimed in and said she heard us talking another day

72
00:03:18,680 --> 00:03:21,080
Speaker 3: and asked if I wanted to invite my new friend

73
00:03:21,480 --> 00:03:24,560
Speaker 3: to dinner. I decided to stop omitting things and told

74
00:03:24,600 --> 00:03:28,200
Speaker 3: them it was Asa, that we were getting along pretty well.

75
00:03:28,800 --> 00:03:31,920
Speaker 3: My stepfather made an annoyed face, and my mother acted

76
00:03:31,960 --> 00:03:34,920
Speaker 3: like I had punched her in the gut. They started

77
00:03:34,920 --> 00:03:37,720
Speaker 3: telling me that Asa was a terrible person, that she

78
00:03:37,880 --> 00:03:40,840
Speaker 3: always had been since she was a child, that talking

79
00:03:40,880 --> 00:03:43,360
Speaker 3: to Asa now that it's not needed anymore, was an

80
00:03:43,400 --> 00:03:47,800
Speaker 3: act of betrayal. Asa was manipulative and a liar. They

81
00:03:47,880 --> 00:03:49,880
Speaker 3: warned me not to get involved when I went there,

82
00:03:49,960 --> 00:03:51,880
Speaker 3: and they only set me there because they didn't have

83
00:03:51,920 --> 00:03:52,800
Speaker 3: another choice.

84
00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:57,280
Speaker 4: I'm gonna need a reason. What did Asa do to y'all?

85
00:03:57,440 --> 00:04:00,720
Speaker 2: Because she seems a great because I want to go

86
00:04:00,840 --> 00:04:01,960
Speaker 2: visit Asa.

87
00:04:01,800 --> 00:04:05,720
Speaker 3: And her puppies and kittens and garden. When I tried

88
00:04:05,760 --> 00:04:08,240
Speaker 3: to defend Asa and asked the whole story, my mother

89
00:04:08,320 --> 00:04:12,520
Speaker 3: started crying, like really crying. My stepfather said that I

90
00:04:12,560 --> 00:04:15,640
Speaker 3: have no idea of the mount of pain. ASA put

91
00:04:15,640 --> 00:04:21,159
Speaker 3: that through exactly, so tell me, so tell her. I

92
00:04:21,240 --> 00:04:23,320
Speaker 3: tried to ask again for the whole story and said

93
00:04:23,360 --> 00:04:26,360
Speaker 3: I wasn't going to stop talking to ASA until they

94
00:04:26,360 --> 00:04:28,440
Speaker 3: told me. They told me to got to my room.

95
00:04:28,760 --> 00:04:30,960
Speaker 3: I was calling ASA to ask the whole story, but

96
00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:34,599
Speaker 3: my stepfather came in, took my phone and canceled the call.

97
00:04:34,720 --> 00:04:38,360
Speaker 3: Before she could even answer. He yelled at me, calling

98
00:04:38,360 --> 00:04:41,159
Speaker 3: me insensitive, and left. I cried a bit in my

99
00:04:41,279 --> 00:04:45,599
Speaker 3: room before lunch. After a silent and awkward lunch, my

100
00:04:45,720 --> 00:04:48,120
Speaker 3: mother gave me back my phone and warned me not

101
00:04:48,360 --> 00:04:52,440
Speaker 3: to contact ASA. Immediately contacting ASA, yeah, she told me

102
00:04:52,480 --> 00:04:55,040
Speaker 3: they were going to tell me everything at night after work.

103
00:04:55,400 --> 00:04:58,119
Speaker 3: What should I do? Should I try to call ASA again?

104
00:04:58,320 --> 00:05:01,440
Speaker 3: She sent me a text asking everything okay, right after

105
00:05:01,560 --> 00:05:04,719
Speaker 3: my stepfather took my phone. She is so kind, So

106
00:05:04,800 --> 00:05:07,760
Speaker 3: I have no idea what she could have done. Maybe

107
00:05:07,800 --> 00:05:10,919
Speaker 3: she is manipulative, is using me for revenge, and I

108
00:05:10,960 --> 00:05:14,080
Speaker 3: should listen to my parents. Maybe I ignored or am

109
00:05:14,160 --> 00:05:17,280
Speaker 3: unaware of all the red flags she's been showing. All

110
00:05:17,320 --> 00:05:19,760
Speaker 3: of this is making my anxiety flare up. I don't know.

111
00:05:19,800 --> 00:05:22,480
Speaker 3: What to do and can't wait until tonight. Then someone

112
00:05:22,560 --> 00:05:24,839
Speaker 3: helped me with what I should do, and there isn't

113
00:05:24,839 --> 00:05:25,160
Speaker 3: at it.

114
00:05:25,480 --> 00:05:29,760
Speaker 2: Okay, So now I will say, if they're only asking

115
00:05:29,760 --> 00:05:32,440
Speaker 2: you to hold off till tonight, I don't think it's

116
00:05:32,480 --> 00:05:34,600
Speaker 2: wrong to text Asa that you're okay.

117
00:05:34,720 --> 00:05:36,520
Speaker 3: That's what I think. Just text her. I was gonna say,

118
00:05:36,520 --> 00:05:36,880
Speaker 3: you don't.

119
00:05:36,720 --> 00:05:37,200
Speaker 4: Have to call her.

120
00:05:37,279 --> 00:05:40,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, don't need a college. Just hey, I'm okay. I

121
00:05:40,400 --> 00:05:42,680
Speaker 2: might reach out again tonight. I need to figure some.

122
00:05:42,600 --> 00:05:43,560
Speaker 4: Stuff out real fast.

123
00:05:43,960 --> 00:05:47,440
Speaker 2: Hear your parents out, yes, because if they really are

124
00:05:47,520 --> 00:05:49,560
Speaker 2: so adamant that this could be a bad thing, it's

125
00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:53,320
Speaker 2: not the worst thing to just wait the half day

126
00:05:54,080 --> 00:05:54,920
Speaker 2: probably and.

127
00:05:54,920 --> 00:05:56,040
Speaker 3: Just absolutely with them.

128
00:05:56,120 --> 00:05:56,520
Speaker 4: Yeah.

129
00:05:57,120 --> 00:05:59,760
Speaker 3: Edit, so my mom texted me saying they won't come home,

130
00:05:59,839 --> 00:06:02,800
Speaker 3: or that I opened some deep scars and they wanted

131
00:06:02,800 --> 00:06:07,440
Speaker 3: to unwind a little bit. Okay, I won't be having

132
00:06:07,440 --> 00:06:11,080
Speaker 3: my answers today. I already texted my grandma asking her

133
00:06:11,120 --> 00:06:13,479
Speaker 3: to call me the moment she wakes up. She's probably

134
00:06:13,520 --> 00:06:16,719
Speaker 3: asleep as she lives in another country. I'll try to

135
00:06:16,760 --> 00:06:19,000
Speaker 3: sleep too. For now. Thank you all for the advice.

136
00:06:19,640 --> 00:06:22,440
Speaker 3: And there is an update. Let's get into it.

137
00:06:22,520 --> 00:06:23,279
Speaker 4: Let's do it.

138
00:06:23,680 --> 00:06:27,040
Speaker 3: So a lot happened this weekend, like a lot a lot.

139
00:06:27,440 --> 00:06:29,680
Speaker 3: ASA is aware of this post and gave me full

140
00:06:29,720 --> 00:06:32,479
Speaker 3: permission to post it. I got all the information that

141
00:06:32,520 --> 00:06:35,479
Speaker 3: I wanted, and in the end, I really regret learning it.

142
00:06:35,640 --> 00:06:36,120
Speaker 2: Oh.

143
00:06:36,440 --> 00:06:38,680
Speaker 3: To be honest, I can't look my mom and stepfather

144
00:06:38,760 --> 00:06:41,279
Speaker 3: in the face anymore. Before I start, I want to

145
00:06:41,279 --> 00:06:45,520
Speaker 3: make two things clear. First, I wouldn't do this update

146
00:06:45,600 --> 00:06:49,480
Speaker 3: if it weren't for people genuinely concerned about ASA. And second,

147
00:06:49,520 --> 00:06:51,240
Speaker 3: because I know a lot of you were thinking this

148
00:06:51,360 --> 00:06:53,919
Speaker 3: happened because it is something real that happens with a

149
00:06:53,920 --> 00:06:57,680
Speaker 3: lot of people from all genders. ASA wasn't essayed great.

150
00:06:57,880 --> 00:07:00,400
Speaker 3: None of the sides of the story contradict you. So

151
00:07:00,440 --> 00:07:03,159
Speaker 3: I will tell everything in order of what happened. I

152
00:07:03,240 --> 00:07:06,800
Speaker 3: will be calling Ace's deceased aunt Lily. So basically, my

153
00:07:06,839 --> 00:07:10,520
Speaker 3: stepfather never got along with his sister. They hated each

154
00:07:10,520 --> 00:07:14,200
Speaker 3: other because my stepfather is ablest and Lily has Down syndrome.

155
00:07:14,840 --> 00:07:18,480
Speaker 3: His father also hated his own daughter. So my stepfather's

156
00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:20,480
Speaker 3: mom bought another house on the other side of the

157
00:07:20,480 --> 00:07:23,480
Speaker 3: city and lived going from one side to another. When

158
00:07:23,480 --> 00:07:26,160
Speaker 3: his father passed away, his mother sold the house and

159
00:07:26,240 --> 00:07:29,120
Speaker 3: asked him to live with them in Lily's house. Because

160
00:07:29,160 --> 00:07:31,000
Speaker 3: he said the same thing as his father, she cut

161
00:07:31,080 --> 00:07:34,120
Speaker 3: him out until Asa was born. Asa was born from

162
00:07:34,160 --> 00:07:37,360
Speaker 3: a shotgun wedding. Her grandmother would take care of her

163
00:07:37,400 --> 00:07:40,680
Speaker 3: together with Lily, almost every day. When Asa was six,

164
00:07:40,760 --> 00:07:44,600
Speaker 3: her parents got divorced because neither of them connected with her.

165
00:07:44,760 --> 00:07:47,480
Speaker 3: They didn't want to raise her where I live. The

166
00:07:47,560 --> 00:07:50,600
Speaker 3: child custody battle only starts if the parents really want

167
00:07:50,760 --> 00:07:53,560
Speaker 3: or need to, as the child support would be like

168
00:07:53,600 --> 00:07:57,320
Speaker 3: eighty two hundred bucks. Ace's mother wasn't interested. They were

169
00:07:57,360 --> 00:07:59,880
Speaker 3: going to put her into the adoption system when Lily

170
00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:04,560
Speaker 3: decided to adopt her instead. Unfortunately, when Asa was eleven,

171
00:08:04,640 --> 00:08:09,080
Speaker 3: her grandmother passed away. Lily became depressed, barely left the

172
00:08:09,120 --> 00:08:12,320
Speaker 3: bed ate or did anything. It got worse when my

173
00:08:12,360 --> 00:08:15,160
Speaker 3: stepfather wanted to take the house and the inheritance from

174
00:08:15,160 --> 00:08:20,600
Speaker 3: her and sell it. Yikes. He planned on using the

175
00:08:20,640 --> 00:08:23,840
Speaker 3: money to open a diner. My mother always hated to work,

176
00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:25,520
Speaker 3: so she wanted the money to be able to be

177
00:08:25,560 --> 00:08:27,640
Speaker 3: a housewife, and they wanted to put me in a

178
00:08:27,640 --> 00:08:31,240
Speaker 3: private school and in the future a private college. They

179
00:08:31,320 --> 00:08:34,240
Speaker 3: tried to lawyer up, but the prices were insane, and

180
00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:38,400
Speaker 3: they even lost way too much with only consultations. The

181
00:08:38,480 --> 00:08:40,680
Speaker 3: last advice they heard was to wait for Lily to

182
00:08:40,760 --> 00:08:45,520
Speaker 3: pass away. Yes, a lawyer actually said that, and they thought, Yeah,

183
00:08:45,559 --> 00:08:47,640
Speaker 3: that's solid advice, thanks man.

184
00:08:48,040 --> 00:08:48,880
Speaker 4: Yikes.

185
00:08:49,080 --> 00:08:52,800
Speaker 3: Two years later, when Lily did eventually pass away, Asa

186
00:08:52,840 --> 00:08:56,040
Speaker 3: and Lily's ex caregiver told them the house was never

187
00:08:56,160 --> 00:09:00,360
Speaker 3: in Lily's name what it was always in the caregivers name,

188
00:09:00,400 --> 00:09:03,720
Speaker 3: as no one thought Lily was capable of managing money. Oh.

189
00:09:03,840 --> 00:09:05,840
Speaker 3: A few weeks later, Asa gave them a paper in

190
00:09:05,960 --> 00:09:09,080
Speaker 3: order to be emancipated and ask them to sign it,

191
00:09:09,160 --> 00:09:11,920
Speaker 3: as in my country, you become emancipated the moment you

192
00:09:11,960 --> 00:09:15,479
Speaker 3: file the papers, especially if you have both parents signatures,

193
00:09:15,559 --> 00:09:19,320
Speaker 3: and it is irreversible. They both sign without even thinking,

194
00:09:19,720 --> 00:09:21,880
Speaker 3: as Asa said, CPS, I don't know the right word

195
00:09:21,960 --> 00:09:24,160
Speaker 3: to use here, so I'm using this one. Was going

196
00:09:24,200 --> 00:09:25,800
Speaker 3: to send her to live with one of them, and

197
00:09:25,840 --> 00:09:28,360
Speaker 3: she wanted to keep living with the caregiver without having

198
00:09:28,400 --> 00:09:31,000
Speaker 3: to spend a few months in their houses. So it

199
00:09:31,040 --> 00:09:35,720
Speaker 3: turns out Asa did lie and manipulate, but for survival. Yeah,

200
00:09:35,760 --> 00:09:37,840
Speaker 3: I mean she was trying to get, you know, to

201
00:09:37,920 --> 00:09:40,319
Speaker 3: the best, like the person who's actually gonna take care

202
00:09:40,360 --> 00:09:40,600
Speaker 3: of her.

203
00:09:40,960 --> 00:09:42,880
Speaker 2: She was like, hey, sign this so I can stay

204
00:09:42,880 --> 00:09:44,880
Speaker 2: with the caregiver or else I come live with you,

205
00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:46,280
Speaker 2: and they were like, we don't want that.

206
00:09:46,880 --> 00:09:50,959
Speaker 3: You here. Like everything was in Lily's name and when

207
00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:54,760
Speaker 3: she passed, it went to ASA. The ex caregiver gave

208
00:09:54,760 --> 00:09:57,640
Speaker 3: her the idea. Before this, my mother and stepfather were

209
00:09:57,679 --> 00:10:02,280
Speaker 3: indifferent towards ASA. They hated Growing up, I always thought

210
00:10:02,280 --> 00:10:05,679
Speaker 3: my family members who I lost contact with stop communicating

211
00:10:05,679 --> 00:10:08,760
Speaker 3: with us because they live in another country, or I

212
00:10:08,760 --> 00:10:11,520
Speaker 3: thought it was only normal. Some people in the original

213
00:10:11,559 --> 00:10:15,040
Speaker 3: post pointed out that my mother and stepfather tried everyone

214
00:10:15,120 --> 00:10:20,000
Speaker 3: before ASA. The everyone was like five relatives according to

215
00:10:20,040 --> 00:10:23,000
Speaker 3: my grandma. I have more than thirtyish relatives. I don't

216
00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:25,880
Speaker 3: have enough contact to know the exact amount. Some of

217
00:10:25,920 --> 00:10:28,560
Speaker 3: them caught my grandma for still sending us money. She

218
00:10:28,679 --> 00:10:32,080
Speaker 3: sends me allowance. But we are Latinos. We have a

219
00:10:32,200 --> 00:10:35,240
Speaker 3: huge family. Some even live in my Dang city. The

220
00:10:35,280 --> 00:10:38,000
Speaker 3: difference between my life and Aesa's was shocking to me.

221
00:10:38,600 --> 00:10:41,240
Speaker 3: I learned my parents' side the next day I posted here,

222
00:10:41,720 --> 00:10:44,719
Speaker 3: and I spent the whole day really mad, locked in

223
00:10:44,800 --> 00:10:46,880
Speaker 3: my room. In the middle of the night, I did

224
00:10:46,920 --> 00:10:49,320
Speaker 3: something I was yelled at for by Grandma and Asa.

225
00:10:49,800 --> 00:10:52,520
Speaker 3: I just grabbed my bike and went to ASA's house.

226
00:10:53,080 --> 00:10:55,200
Speaker 3: I only learned about the lily part after talking with

227
00:10:55,280 --> 00:10:58,800
Speaker 3: Asa that night. After that, I couldn't stop hugging her

228
00:10:58,840 --> 00:11:03,160
Speaker 3: and crying. Basically, I just stopped crying. Today, I am

229
00:11:03,200 --> 00:11:06,160
Speaker 3: still at ASA's house. I get sick every time I

230
00:11:06,200 --> 00:11:08,839
Speaker 3: think about my mother and stepfather. I want to live

231
00:11:08,840 --> 00:11:10,880
Speaker 3: with my dad, but I can't because he lives in

232
00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:13,880
Speaker 3: another state. I don't want to stop seeing my friends

233
00:11:13,880 --> 00:11:16,800
Speaker 3: at ASA. My grandmother said she can come back to

234
00:11:16,840 --> 00:11:18,679
Speaker 3: my country, but I don't want to make her drop

235
00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:22,600
Speaker 3: everything just for me, and no, living with Asa isn't

236
00:11:22,600 --> 00:11:25,120
Speaker 3: an option. I'm now thinking about getting a job so

237
00:11:25,160 --> 00:11:28,640
Speaker 3: I can move out the moment I turn eighteen. My mom, however,

238
00:11:28,800 --> 00:11:32,400
Speaker 3: can't stop texting me. She knows where I am, and

239
00:11:32,440 --> 00:11:34,600
Speaker 3: she said I could stay the week, but to come back.

240
00:11:35,160 --> 00:11:37,280
Speaker 3: The last advice I ask is how can I start

241
00:11:37,320 --> 00:11:40,400
Speaker 3: having contact with the relatives who cut my mother off?

242
00:11:40,720 --> 00:11:42,680
Speaker 3: How do I show or tell them I am not

243
00:11:42,920 --> 00:11:45,520
Speaker 3: like her? But there is a little bit left to

244
00:11:45,640 --> 00:11:47,880
Speaker 3: this story. Any final thoughts.

245
00:11:47,640 --> 00:11:51,280
Speaker 2: Oh I mean, I feel like start just reach out

246
00:11:51,320 --> 00:11:53,599
Speaker 2: to the I mean, if you can get their contact

247
00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:54,800
Speaker 2: of these people you even.

248
00:11:54,720 --> 00:11:57,440
Speaker 4: Talked to, I mean, reach out Grandma, maybe explain that. Yeah.

249
00:11:57,800 --> 00:12:01,040
Speaker 3: Edit, my other relatives do not know Asa, They never

250
00:12:01,080 --> 00:12:05,040
Speaker 3: even saw her. They just know how much of how

251
00:12:05,120 --> 00:12:07,600
Speaker 3: much of an a hole my stepfather and mother are.

252
00:12:08,160 --> 00:12:10,120
Speaker 3: I'm leaving out a lot of personal things, but the

253
00:12:10,160 --> 00:12:13,520
Speaker 3: reason why Asa accepted taking me in was because she

254
00:12:13,559 --> 00:12:16,480
Speaker 3: always wanted to meet one of her step siblings outside

255
00:12:16,520 --> 00:12:19,880
Speaker 3: the ex caregiver and now me. Asa doesn't have a family,

256
00:12:20,480 --> 00:12:23,520
Speaker 3: so when my stepfather called, she ignored everything he said

257
00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:27,160
Speaker 3: and only wanted the opportunity to meet me. She also

258
00:12:27,240 --> 00:12:29,920
Speaker 3: was really scared of the possibility of me becoming an orphan.

259
00:12:30,280 --> 00:12:33,120
Speaker 3: She didn't know my dad or grandma existed. And that

260
00:12:33,360 --> 00:12:34,560
Speaker 3: is the end of that story.

261
00:12:34,559 --> 00:12:38,320
Speaker 2: Folks, My step kids want to move back in and

262
00:12:38,400 --> 00:12:40,920
Speaker 2: are furious I stole their rooms.

263
00:12:41,040 --> 00:12:44,120
Speaker 3: Those are my rooms.

264
00:12:43,320 --> 00:12:46,280
Speaker 2: And we have a trigger warning for emotional ABETI. My

265
00:12:46,640 --> 00:12:50,600
Speaker 2: female thirty one husband male forty five, has two kids

266
00:12:50,679 --> 00:12:54,679
Speaker 2: from a previous relationship who are female twenty and male

267
00:12:54,760 --> 00:12:58,200
Speaker 2: twenty three. When we married, they had already moved out

268
00:12:58,240 --> 00:13:01,720
Speaker 2: of their house we have a baby together, male one,

269
00:13:02,320 --> 00:13:05,760
Speaker 2: who now sleeps in his own room, which is stepdaughter's

270
00:13:05,840 --> 00:13:09,480
Speaker 2: old room that we turned into a baby room. By

271
00:13:09,480 --> 00:13:11,960
Speaker 2: the way, this comes from particular.

272
00:13:11,440 --> 00:13:12,760
Speaker 4: Box sixty to fifty two.

273
00:13:12,880 --> 00:13:14,679
Speaker 2: And if you want usbmit your own stories, go to

274
00:13:14,679 --> 00:13:18,080
Speaker 2: the r slash Okay storytime subreddit. I'm Carly, I'm Sophia,

275
00:13:18,440 --> 00:13:21,840
Speaker 2: I'm Keon, and we're here to give good advice Goofily,

276
00:13:21,960 --> 00:13:24,200
Speaker 2: but we don't have all the answers. We only know

277
00:13:24,240 --> 00:13:25,880
Speaker 2: what we would do, So let us know what you

278
00:13:25,920 --> 00:13:29,640
Speaker 2: would do in the comments. And Opie says, now all

279
00:13:29,679 --> 00:13:31,640
Speaker 2: of a sudden, they both want to move back in.

280
00:13:32,240 --> 00:13:35,480
Speaker 2: Stepdaughter lost her job and can't afford her house anymore.

281
00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:38,960
Speaker 2: Stepson is done with college and recently moved back to

282
00:13:39,040 --> 00:13:41,880
Speaker 2: our city. I said, they are both welcome back, but

283
00:13:41,920 --> 00:13:45,360
Speaker 2: they have to share stepson's room. There is no other

284
00:13:45,440 --> 00:13:47,920
Speaker 2: room to put baby's stuff, and I'm not gonna put

285
00:13:47,920 --> 00:13:50,959
Speaker 2: it all in a storage or something like that. That's

286
00:13:51,120 --> 00:13:53,960
Speaker 2: baby's room. Now they are adults, and they moved out,

287
00:13:54,040 --> 00:13:56,240
Speaker 2: and I wasn't gonna keep the rooms empty for them.

288
00:13:56,679 --> 00:13:59,080
Speaker 2: Now they are angry and saying I'm the a hole

289
00:14:00,200 --> 00:14:02,319
Speaker 2: and am I the a hole has no consensus, but

290
00:14:02,559 --> 00:14:05,760
Speaker 2: OPI received mixed responses, but leaning towards not the A hole.

291
00:14:06,400 --> 00:14:09,920
Speaker 3: I I don't think that you are the A whole.

292
00:14:10,040 --> 00:14:12,720
Speaker 3: I wonder why they're getting mad at you specifically and

293
00:14:13,400 --> 00:14:14,160
Speaker 3: their dad.

294
00:14:14,440 --> 00:14:17,360
Speaker 2: My only thing is I think that you should always

295
00:14:17,440 --> 00:14:19,000
Speaker 2: plan for someone who's been at.

296
00:14:18,880 --> 00:14:20,160
Speaker 4: College to move back in.

297
00:14:20,440 --> 00:14:24,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, and you can't necessarily expect a twenty and a

298
00:14:24,320 --> 00:14:27,320
Speaker 2: twenty three year old of opposite gender siblings to want

299
00:14:27,320 --> 00:14:27,800
Speaker 2: to share in.

300
00:14:28,600 --> 00:14:30,920
Speaker 3: Absolutely I agree with both of those things.

301
00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:32,200
Speaker 4: Or share one with a baby though.

302
00:14:32,600 --> 00:14:33,040
Speaker 3: Yeah.

303
00:14:33,200 --> 00:14:36,680
Speaker 2: Relevant comments Commenter one, why are you having to be

304
00:14:36,720 --> 00:14:39,920
Speaker 2: the bad guy. It seems like your husband's problem to solve, not.

305
00:14:39,920 --> 00:14:42,200
Speaker 4: The A hole. Yeah, yeah, it should.

306
00:14:41,960 --> 00:14:44,640
Speaker 2: Not all be on op No, and Opie says, because

307
00:14:44,640 --> 00:14:47,160
Speaker 2: they keep arguing with me while he is not around,

308
00:14:47,440 --> 00:14:49,720
Speaker 2: he has made it clear that they that either they

309
00:14:49,800 --> 00:14:51,920
Speaker 2: take that one room that is given to them, or

310
00:14:51,960 --> 00:14:55,560
Speaker 2: they can just leave. Comment or two. Start turning a record.

311
00:14:55,840 --> 00:14:59,040
Speaker 2: Start turning a recorder on your phone when your husband

312
00:14:59,080 --> 00:15:01,680
Speaker 2: is not around, and this step kids are make sure

313
00:15:01,720 --> 00:15:04,440
Speaker 2: they do not notice. Then show a husband how they

314
00:15:04,520 --> 00:15:07,440
Speaker 2: treat you when he's not around. Maybe he will realize

315
00:15:07,440 --> 00:15:09,960
Speaker 2: they should not move back in. Maybe they can share

316
00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:13,000
Speaker 2: a cheap apartment. Opie says, I don't need to. He

317
00:15:13,080 --> 00:15:15,960
Speaker 2: believes me over everyone. I just don't want to be

318
00:15:16,080 --> 00:15:18,680
Speaker 2: that kind of stepmom. If I told him they are

319
00:15:18,720 --> 00:15:21,040
Speaker 2: bothering me, he would let them. He wouldn't let them

320
00:15:21,040 --> 00:15:23,640
Speaker 2: stay here at all. Comment to three says, does your

321
00:15:23,640 --> 00:15:26,600
Speaker 2: home have a basement? Where is your husband in this equation?

322
00:15:27,040 --> 00:15:29,720
Speaker 2: Opie says, it has an unfinished basement that needs a

323
00:15:29,760 --> 00:15:31,800
Speaker 2: lot of work done and will cost us a lot.

324
00:15:32,160 --> 00:15:35,120
Speaker 2: We have a baby. It's expensive. We don't have extra

325
00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:37,560
Speaker 2: money to just finish the basement for them, and he

326
00:15:37,600 --> 00:15:38,240
Speaker 2: agrees with me.

327
00:15:38,440 --> 00:15:39,080
Speaker 4: Come under four.

328
00:15:39,360 --> 00:15:42,800
Speaker 2: Just curious, but where do they suggest the baby be

329
00:15:43,280 --> 00:15:45,640
Speaker 2: with you and your husband? Would they rather share a

330
00:15:45,720 --> 00:15:48,600
Speaker 2: room with a baby? Are they suggesting the baby stay

331
00:15:48,640 --> 00:15:51,120
Speaker 2: in the unfinished basement? If they do not want to

332
00:15:51,160 --> 00:15:53,600
Speaker 2: share a room, they can get an apartment together. One

333
00:15:53,640 --> 00:15:55,720
Speaker 2: could not move in, or one of them can clear

334
00:15:55,800 --> 00:15:58,560
Speaker 2: spot in the basement for themselves. Baby needs a room.

335
00:15:58,880 --> 00:16:01,320
Speaker 2: They may be tiny, but they come with lots of stuff,

336
00:16:01,760 --> 00:16:03,640
Speaker 2: not the a hole. I hope they bugger off and

337
00:16:03,680 --> 00:16:06,080
Speaker 2: give you some peace. Opie says, they think the baby

338
00:16:06,080 --> 00:16:08,640
Speaker 2: should be with me? And my husband and a down

339
00:16:08,760 --> 00:16:11,640
Speaker 2: voted commenter, you're the a hole, but because of how

340
00:16:11,680 --> 00:16:14,560
Speaker 2: you said it, not because of the situation. You could

341
00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:18,040
Speaker 2: have handled that more sensitively or let that discussion happen

342
00:16:18,120 --> 00:16:21,600
Speaker 2: between their father and them instead of coming from you. Yes,

343
00:16:21,800 --> 00:16:23,880
Speaker 2: it makes sense that one of the rooms is for

344
00:16:23,960 --> 00:16:27,240
Speaker 2: the baby. They're probably just mad about the situation. You

345
00:16:27,280 --> 00:16:30,520
Speaker 2: should talk to your husband about your response and waste

346
00:16:30,520 --> 00:16:33,120
Speaker 2: to cool things off before continuing to discuss with your

347
00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:33,880
Speaker 2: step children.

348
00:16:34,240 --> 00:16:36,840
Speaker 3: I don't why was that downvoted Yeah, I think that's

349
00:16:37,080 --> 00:16:39,280
Speaker 3: I kind of agree with that. Maybe because they said

350
00:16:39,280 --> 00:16:39,880
Speaker 3: you're the a hole.

351
00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:43,240
Speaker 2: Maybe they started off and I was like, ah, Honestly,

352
00:16:43,280 --> 00:16:46,800
Speaker 2: in my personal opinion, if if there was no space

353
00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:48,920
Speaker 2: for the baby's crib to be out and for like

354
00:16:48,960 --> 00:16:50,720
Speaker 2: an air mattress to just go in there or something,

355
00:16:51,360 --> 00:16:53,720
Speaker 2: brother gets his room back because he's the last one

356
00:16:53,720 --> 00:16:56,480
Speaker 2: out because sister just had a house. Yeah, baby has

357
00:16:56,520 --> 00:16:58,720
Speaker 2: that room, or sister's crashing in there for a little bit,

358
00:16:58,840 --> 00:17:02,160
Speaker 2: or sister gets the basement. Yeah, I agree, Opie says,

359
00:17:02,280 --> 00:17:04,720
Speaker 2: I don't discuss with them. They keep discussing with me

360
00:17:04,920 --> 00:17:08,160
Speaker 2: when my husband isn't around. Why don't the step children

361
00:17:08,240 --> 00:17:10,880
Speaker 2: stay with their mother, Opie says, she has a much

362
00:17:10,880 --> 00:17:11,920
Speaker 2: smaller house than us.

363
00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:13,320
Speaker 4: They are uncomfortable there.

364
00:17:13,359 --> 00:17:15,119
Speaker 3: Well, then why doesn't one stay with you and then

365
00:17:15,119 --> 00:17:15,480
Speaker 3: one with.

366
00:17:15,480 --> 00:17:18,919
Speaker 2: Three sister go to mom brother go back to his house.

367
00:17:19,520 --> 00:17:22,800
Speaker 2: Opie's stepchildren can move in and refinish the basement themselves.

368
00:17:23,320 --> 00:17:26,120
Speaker 2: Opie says they don't have the money either. Also, it

369
00:17:26,200 --> 00:17:29,040
Speaker 2: needs to be temporary. I don't want thirty year old

370
00:17:29,080 --> 00:17:30,520
Speaker 2: adults living in my basement.

371
00:17:30,880 --> 00:17:33,080
Speaker 3: I don't know, man, Yeah, I don't know.

372
00:17:33,920 --> 00:17:36,880
Speaker 4: But we have an update the next day. Ooh.

373
00:17:37,440 --> 00:17:40,160
Speaker 2: I decided to just tell my husband everything they've been saying.

374
00:17:40,600 --> 00:17:43,320
Speaker 2: I didn't want to say something originally because I didn't

375
00:17:43,359 --> 00:17:46,080
Speaker 2: want to cause problems between them. But they are old

376
00:17:46,200 --> 00:17:48,520
Speaker 2: enough to know exactly what they are doing, so they

377
00:17:48,520 --> 00:17:52,480
Speaker 2: should also be prepared for the consequences. Again, though twenty

378
00:17:52,520 --> 00:17:55,520
Speaker 2: and twenty three, you can still be pretty young and

379
00:17:55,560 --> 00:17:58,160
Speaker 2: immature twenty three.

380
00:17:58,160 --> 00:18:01,600
Speaker 3: I agree, I mean especially twenty especially twenty.

381
00:18:01,680 --> 00:18:02,960
Speaker 4: Look at me so.

382
00:18:03,080 --> 00:18:06,439
Speaker 2: Young and immature at twenty nine. I'm going through a

383
00:18:06,440 --> 00:18:10,200
Speaker 2: lot lately. I'm still struggling with PPD that just doesn't

384
00:18:10,240 --> 00:18:12,760
Speaker 2: seem to go away. I told my husband that I

385
00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:14,960
Speaker 2: will never ask him to choose me and his kids.

386
00:18:15,359 --> 00:18:17,360
Speaker 2: But I have to choose between me and his kids,

387
00:18:17,440 --> 00:18:21,199
Speaker 2: and I choose me. My mental health is important. His

388
00:18:21,400 --> 00:18:24,159
Speaker 2: kids haven't even moved in, but they are already here

389
00:18:24,280 --> 00:18:26,880
Speaker 2: all the time because they don't have a place to live,

390
00:18:27,760 --> 00:18:30,320
Speaker 2: and they keep arguing and nagging and pushing me to

391
00:18:30,359 --> 00:18:33,200
Speaker 2: my limits. And I can't worry about them sharing a room.

392
00:18:33,680 --> 00:18:35,160
Speaker 2: I have enough problems already.

393
00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:37,320
Speaker 3: Oh so you know, Oh, she doesn't even want them.

394
00:18:37,400 --> 00:18:39,560
Speaker 2: She doesn't want them. I think she's fine if they

395
00:18:39,640 --> 00:18:42,200
Speaker 2: share a room, but she's like, don't, don't keep yelling

396
00:18:42,200 --> 00:18:43,000
Speaker 2: at me, don't involve me.

397
00:18:43,160 --> 00:18:44,160
Speaker 3: Okay, to figure it out.

398
00:18:44,240 --> 00:18:46,439
Speaker 4: Yeah, I have enough problems already.

399
00:18:46,800 --> 00:18:48,560
Speaker 2: I told him I'm going to stay in a hotel

400
00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:50,520
Speaker 2: for a few days because I need to be away

401
00:18:50,520 --> 00:18:51,160
Speaker 2: from him.

402
00:18:51,040 --> 00:18:53,680
Speaker 4: And his kids. This includes the little one.

403
00:18:54,160 --> 00:18:57,280
Speaker 2: He didn't let me leave and instead took the baby

404
00:18:57,320 --> 00:19:00,680
Speaker 2: and left. He returned about an hour ago. He had

405
00:19:01,440 --> 00:19:04,080
Speaker 2: bought some takeout for me. He asked how I'm doing

406
00:19:04,200 --> 00:19:06,199
Speaker 2: and said the baby is with his sister and is

407
00:19:06,240 --> 00:19:06,800
Speaker 2: doing well.

408
00:19:06,960 --> 00:19:09,640
Speaker 3: What's that got nice? I don't know if he's gonna

409
00:19:09,720 --> 00:19:12,840
Speaker 3: like this, but it sounds good to me, Like She's like,

410
00:19:12,880 --> 00:19:16,000
Speaker 3: I'm leaving again. You have to be out of your

411
00:19:16,040 --> 00:19:16,520
Speaker 3: own house.

412
00:19:16,560 --> 00:19:18,280
Speaker 2: He's like, okay, you know, i'd be nicer to stay

413
00:19:18,280 --> 00:19:18,640
Speaker 2: in my eye.

414
00:19:18,760 --> 00:19:20,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think this is nice.

415
00:19:20,320 --> 00:19:20,760
Speaker 1: Okay.

416
00:19:21,320 --> 00:19:23,600
Speaker 2: He gave me the keys he has given his kids

417
00:19:23,640 --> 00:19:26,000
Speaker 2: and said he took them away and they can't just

418
00:19:26,200 --> 00:19:28,800
Speaker 2: walk in ever again and need permission from now on.

419
00:19:29,520 --> 00:19:31,840
Speaker 2: He said, I should have just said something sooner instead

420
00:19:31,840 --> 00:19:34,399
Speaker 2: of waiting until I get to my breaking point. We

421
00:19:34,520 --> 00:19:37,120
Speaker 2: got a little bit more. I get that they've been

422
00:19:37,760 --> 00:19:41,640
Speaker 2: I don't know which you right, but you have also

423
00:19:41,680 --> 00:19:46,080
Speaker 2: said that you have stepped in as their parent, and

424
00:19:46,240 --> 00:19:47,760
Speaker 2: that is often what.

425
00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:49,000
Speaker 4: How old kid parents.

426
00:19:49,080 --> 00:19:51,679
Speaker 2: I agree, and I don't think it changed if you

427
00:19:51,800 --> 00:19:53,960
Speaker 2: if you have fully been their parent for a while

428
00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:55,720
Speaker 2: and have stepped up as that role, I don't think

429
00:19:55,800 --> 00:19:57,879
Speaker 2: now it changes because you're their step parents.

430
00:19:58,000 --> 00:20:00,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, no, they probably. They probably is a lot of

431
00:20:00,520 --> 00:20:02,280
Speaker 3: hostility between the kids or her.

432
00:20:02,720 --> 00:20:05,000
Speaker 2: I am sure, so maybe it's not smart for them

433
00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:07,320
Speaker 2: to come back. Yeah, but I would be a little

434
00:20:07,320 --> 00:20:10,560
Speaker 2: bit sad if my father. Yeah, which you should have

435
00:20:10,760 --> 00:20:14,840
Speaker 2: had more conversation with your father's stepmom. But I would

436
00:20:14,840 --> 00:20:16,960
Speaker 2: be really upset if suddenly it was like oh, you're

437
00:20:16,960 --> 00:20:19,120
Speaker 2: taking her side and I'm from the.

438
00:20:19,119 --> 00:20:21,720
Speaker 3: House and I'm don and you have a new kid. Yeah,

439
00:20:22,640 --> 00:20:23,919
Speaker 3: complicated situation.

440
00:20:24,960 --> 00:20:27,160
Speaker 2: He is gonna help his kids find a cheap apartment

441
00:20:27,280 --> 00:20:29,920
Speaker 2: and some roommates, and he will help them with rent

442
00:20:29,960 --> 00:20:31,960
Speaker 2: for a few months until they can afford to pay

443
00:20:31,960 --> 00:20:32,560
Speaker 2: it themselves.

444
00:20:32,560 --> 00:20:34,440
Speaker 3: This was the other option that I was thinking, Why.

445
00:20:34,480 --> 00:20:35,720
Speaker 4: Was sitting on the table sooner?

446
00:20:35,880 --> 00:20:39,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, they are not happy, but he is not willing

447
00:20:39,359 --> 00:20:42,160
Speaker 2: to give them more. He and our baby will stay

448
00:20:42,160 --> 00:20:43,919
Speaker 2: with his sister for a night or two so I

449
00:20:43,920 --> 00:20:46,800
Speaker 2: can get some rest. But if I want them back sooner,

450
00:20:47,800 --> 00:20:50,280
Speaker 2: I can just call them and he will return. I

451
00:20:50,280 --> 00:20:53,920
Speaker 2: think that's just wanting the baby, not everybody. We are

452
00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:56,400
Speaker 2: finally gonna repurpose stepson's room as well.

453
00:20:56,640 --> 00:20:59,359
Speaker 3: I understand a lot of the comments saying like, yeah,

454
00:20:59,400 --> 00:21:01,960
Speaker 3: they're old, you know, they're adults, they can get apartment,

455
00:21:02,040 --> 00:21:05,760
Speaker 3: but like, it also is super common for people to

456
00:21:05,880 --> 00:21:08,159
Speaker 3: move back into their parents' house because they can't afford

457
00:21:09,119 --> 00:21:11,480
Speaker 3: to buy a house, or like, don't necessarily have a

458
00:21:11,480 --> 00:21:14,280
Speaker 3: whelping job yet because they just graduated in college.

459
00:21:14,359 --> 00:21:17,880
Speaker 5: Again, it's the case in point of if you had

460
00:21:17,880 --> 00:21:19,920
Speaker 5: a conversation with them, like hey, we're going to turn

461
00:21:19,920 --> 00:21:21,480
Speaker 5: your rooms, yeah, to the baby.

462
00:21:21,240 --> 00:21:24,800
Speaker 2: Room, right, which they only turned the older one who

463
00:21:24,880 --> 00:21:27,320
Speaker 2: was in a house's room into something. And I feel

464
00:21:27,359 --> 00:21:29,199
Speaker 2: like at that point, fair, you thought she would have

465
00:21:29,200 --> 00:21:30,280
Speaker 2: a house that she'd stay in.

466
00:21:30,400 --> 00:21:31,439
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean.

467
00:21:31,400 --> 00:21:34,000
Speaker 2: And now they're like, well, now we'll repurpose Stepson's room, and.

468
00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:36,679
Speaker 3: I'm like it feels a little yeah, I don't know.

469
00:21:37,320 --> 00:21:39,960
Speaker 2: We are finally going to repurpose Stepson's room as well.

470
00:21:40,520 --> 00:21:43,399
Speaker 2: It will just be a guest room for now. But

471
00:21:43,480 --> 00:21:45,200
Speaker 2: at that point, like, why why do you even need

472
00:21:45,200 --> 00:21:46,760
Speaker 2: to stay in that room? Then?

473
00:21:46,840 --> 00:21:47,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, why do you.

474
00:21:47,480 --> 00:21:49,359
Speaker 4: Even need to change this?

475
00:21:50,119 --> 00:21:52,840
Speaker 2: But he wants to buy some bookshelves as well so

476
00:21:52,880 --> 00:21:55,560
Speaker 2: he can so we can have a library too. I

477
00:21:55,600 --> 00:21:59,000
Speaker 2: guess that's all. And we have some relevant comments comments

478
00:21:59,040 --> 00:21:59,280
Speaker 2: or one.

479
00:21:59,359 --> 00:22:00,360
Speaker 4: Everyone's here.

480
00:22:00,480 --> 00:22:01,280
Speaker 3: I kind of agree.

481
00:22:01,400 --> 00:22:02,240
Speaker 4: I agree with that.

482
00:22:02,240 --> 00:22:04,920
Speaker 3: I kind of agree, like everyone sucks here, and also

483
00:22:04,960 --> 00:22:06,960
Speaker 3: everyone's a little bit like right in some areas.

484
00:22:07,040 --> 00:22:09,399
Speaker 2: Yes, you know, one hundred percent you admit you have

485
00:22:09,440 --> 00:22:12,280
Speaker 2: PPD and instead of seeking any sort of support, you

486
00:22:12,359 --> 00:22:14,960
Speaker 2: were going to ditch your baby and your husband. You

487
00:22:15,040 --> 00:22:17,959
Speaker 2: also have guaranteed his kids want nothing to do with

488
00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:20,919
Speaker 2: you or their half siblings. Yeah, let's not blame the

489
00:22:20,960 --> 00:22:22,200
Speaker 2: mom for PPD.

490
00:22:21,920 --> 00:22:23,680
Speaker 3: Though, No, not that yeah, not the PPD bar but

491
00:22:23,760 --> 00:22:26,840
Speaker 3: the other half of that, of that sentence.

492
00:22:26,960 --> 00:22:30,919
Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, yeah, they were crap and you're right not

493
00:22:31,040 --> 00:22:33,400
Speaker 2: to want them there one hundred percent. But the way

494
00:22:33,440 --> 00:22:36,840
Speaker 2: you went about it made sure they won't forget. Opie says,

495
00:22:36,880 --> 00:22:39,960
Speaker 2: I'm getting help. It doesn't magically go away, especially when

496
00:22:39,960 --> 00:22:42,680
Speaker 2: you have a history of depression. I can't just take

497
00:22:42,720 --> 00:22:43,760
Speaker 2: a pill and be cured.

498
00:22:44,040 --> 00:22:44,800
Speaker 4: I matter too.

499
00:22:45,640 --> 00:22:48,360
Speaker 2: My therapist says, there's nothing wrong with spending some time

500
00:22:48,480 --> 00:22:52,240
Speaker 2: alone without my husband or even my baby. Commenter two says,

501
00:22:52,280 --> 00:22:54,800
Speaker 2: I'm very glad your husband stood up for you and baby.

502
00:22:55,400 --> 00:22:58,520
Speaker 2: Quite frankly, adult kids need to understand they can't keep

503
00:22:58,600 --> 00:23:00,320
Speaker 2: running home every time life gets hard.

504
00:23:01,280 --> 00:23:03,040
Speaker 3: Just I don't know that feels so in front of me.

505
00:23:03,600 --> 00:23:07,000
Speaker 2: Commenter three, Well done. You've achieved your aim of alienating

506
00:23:07,040 --> 00:23:09,480
Speaker 2: your husband from his kids, twenty three year old who

507
00:23:09,520 --> 00:23:11,760
Speaker 2: lost your job and twenty year old who has just

508
00:23:11,920 --> 00:23:14,960
Speaker 2: finished college. I noticed you didn't answer the question on

509
00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:17,480
Speaker 2: your previous threat about who paid for the house you

510
00:23:17,520 --> 00:23:20,399
Speaker 2: live in or how long you're married, Opie says, I

511
00:23:20,440 --> 00:23:22,600
Speaker 2: assure you my step kids didn't pay for the house.

512
00:23:22,640 --> 00:23:24,840
Speaker 3: I don't think that's I don't think the person says.

513
00:23:25,800 --> 00:23:28,359
Speaker 2: I think we're asking if your husband or you paid

514
00:23:28,400 --> 00:23:32,119
Speaker 2: for it. And being married for a short time doesn't

515
00:23:32,119 --> 00:23:34,960
Speaker 2: make me less entitled to my own house or less

516
00:23:34,960 --> 00:23:35,560
Speaker 2: of a wife.

517
00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:36,720
Speaker 4: Commenter four.

518
00:23:36,960 --> 00:23:39,240
Speaker 2: You could have a bit of sympathy for them. It's

519
00:23:39,280 --> 00:23:41,000
Speaker 2: tough to not be able to go back to your

520
00:23:41,119 --> 00:23:44,359
Speaker 2: childhood home because your father married a much younger woman.

521
00:23:44,840 --> 00:23:47,520
Speaker 2: You're within your rights, but you could have a bit

522
00:23:47,600 --> 00:23:51,879
Speaker 2: more grace. Opie says, our means mine and his, so

523
00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:55,840
Speaker 2: saying mine is not wrong. If if I say I

524
00:23:55,880 --> 00:23:58,159
Speaker 2: took my child somewhere, does it mean my child is

525
00:23:58,200 --> 00:24:01,640
Speaker 2: no longer my husband's child. You are grasping at straws

526
00:24:01,840 --> 00:24:03,040
Speaker 2: op I'm liking you lesson.

527
00:24:03,320 --> 00:24:05,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, you're becoming more of the a hole.

528
00:24:05,240 --> 00:24:06,520
Speaker 4: I'm liking you to so much.

529
00:24:06,640 --> 00:24:06,840
Speaker 2: Lefs.

530
00:24:06,840 --> 00:24:08,440
Speaker 3: I just think none of these people like each other.

531
00:24:08,600 --> 00:24:11,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, no one is asking them to disappear. But I

532
00:24:11,320 --> 00:24:15,080
Speaker 2: can't have arguments every day at my slash our house.

533
00:24:15,840 --> 00:24:18,680
Speaker 2: It's not healthy for anyone. Of course, it is nice

534
00:24:18,840 --> 00:24:21,160
Speaker 2: for a night or two. And last time I asked

535
00:24:21,200 --> 00:24:23,280
Speaker 2: my husband he and the baby are staying in the

536
00:24:23,320 --> 00:24:26,439
Speaker 2: guest room together, not demanding two bedrooms.

537
00:24:26,600 --> 00:24:29,639
Speaker 4: And that is the end of that story. Okay, everybody

538
00:24:29,640 --> 00:24:30,360
Speaker 4: sucks op.

539
00:24:31,680 --> 00:24:34,720
Speaker 5: OPI was getting really like, you know what, I'm tired

540
00:24:34,720 --> 00:24:37,360
Speaker 5: of you guys telling me about you know all this,

541
00:24:37,359 --> 00:24:39,200
Speaker 5: this is, this is my story. You should be siding

542
00:24:39,280 --> 00:24:42,560
Speaker 5: with me. I'm like, yeah, wait, didn't you ask for advice? Yeah,

543
00:24:42,840 --> 00:24:45,080
Speaker 5: he went to the internet for advice and you got

544
00:24:45,119 --> 00:24:47,240
Speaker 5: it and you didn't like what you got.

545
00:24:47,320 --> 00:24:48,800
Speaker 3: And I feel like a lot of people were on

546
00:24:48,880 --> 00:24:50,440
Speaker 3: her side originally.

547
00:24:50,200 --> 00:24:52,720
Speaker 4: Right they happened, there was one thing.

548
00:24:52,800 --> 00:24:54,760
Speaker 2: I mean, I'm sure there was more, but one everyone

549
00:24:54,800 --> 00:24:57,520
Speaker 2: sucks here, And she's like, everyone does not suck girl.

550
00:24:58,680 --> 00:25:02,919
Speaker 3: Now I think you're a little yeah mmmm.

551
00:25:03,720 --> 00:25:05,480
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah it is.

552
00:25:05,560 --> 00:25:08,159
Speaker 2: Ultimately, they probably did grow up in that house their

553
00:25:08,200 --> 00:25:10,439
Speaker 2: whole lives and expected to come back. And then a

554
00:25:10,520 --> 00:25:13,600
Speaker 2: thirty one year old comes in dating their their dad,

555
00:25:13,840 --> 00:25:16,600
Speaker 2: married to their dad and is like, nope, get out.

556
00:25:16,760 --> 00:25:19,200
Speaker 3: Yet, and she and then and also like the part

557
00:25:19,200 --> 00:25:22,120
Speaker 3: about like the dad being you know, taking her side

558
00:25:22,119 --> 00:25:23,959
Speaker 3: over everyone's.

559
00:25:23,480 --> 00:25:24,639
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean I get that.

560
00:25:24,840 --> 00:25:26,920
Speaker 3: I do get that. He's she is his wife, which

561
00:25:26,960 --> 00:25:28,680
Speaker 3: is great, which is good. He should you know, he

562
00:25:28,720 --> 00:25:31,560
Speaker 3: should support her. But I also think, like just thinking

563
00:25:31,600 --> 00:25:35,920
Speaker 3: about the point of view of his kids being like, yes, wow,

564
00:25:36,119 --> 00:25:37,919
Speaker 3: do you never listen to us? Yeah?

565
00:25:37,960 --> 00:25:41,360
Speaker 4: I think that could have shut down. Hey, stop yelling.

566
00:25:41,119 --> 00:25:42,840
Speaker 3: At my wife. I know you don't like her.

567
00:25:43,000 --> 00:25:43,879
Speaker 4: I know she came in.

568
00:25:44,760 --> 00:25:47,040
Speaker 2: You will have a place here. We will figure something out.

569
00:25:47,160 --> 00:25:50,000
Speaker 2: But my wife's going through PPD right now. Like, let ye,

570
00:25:50,200 --> 00:25:51,399
Speaker 2: everybody take a breath.

571
00:25:51,400 --> 00:25:53,320
Speaker 5: And I guarantee you the kids were like, I don't care.

572
00:25:54,040 --> 00:25:56,560
Speaker 2: I also guarantee you that OPI also went I don't

573
00:25:56,560 --> 00:25:57,720
Speaker 2: care and doubled.

574
00:25:57,400 --> 00:25:59,840
Speaker 4: Down them from the sound that I don't know.

575
00:26:00,840 --> 00:26:02,639
Speaker 2: And that's the end of this story. We're gonna go

576
00:26:02,640 --> 00:26:03,560
Speaker 2: to the next one.

577
00:26:04,200 --> 00:26:05,959
Speaker 1: Hey, it's Sam. We're gonna get back to these stories.

578
00:26:05,960 --> 00:26:08,360
Speaker 1: But here's three minutes of ads for more sponsors.

579
00:26:08,600 --> 00:26:12,120
Speaker 3: I demanded my parents sell their house because they're living

580
00:26:12,160 --> 00:26:13,120
Speaker 3: beyond their means.

581
00:26:13,480 --> 00:26:14,520
Speaker 4: Are they gonna come live with you?

582
00:26:15,160 --> 00:26:19,520
Speaker 3: This story takes place in Ontario, Canada, Okay, set the scene.

583
00:26:20,040 --> 00:26:24,040
Speaker 3: The situation started in early twenty twenty two. My parents,

584
00:26:24,119 --> 00:26:27,600
Speaker 3: seventy mail and fifty six female, owned a home and

585
00:26:28,160 --> 00:26:33,760
Speaker 3: Mississaga that they purchased in two thousand and six. I

586
00:26:33,840 --> 00:26:37,160
Speaker 3: thirty female believe they remortgaged it once between two thousand

587
00:26:37,160 --> 00:26:40,480
Speaker 3: and six and twenty twenty two, bringing their overall mortgage

588
00:26:40,480 --> 00:26:43,359
Speaker 3: to around seven hundred thousand dollars, and they probably paid

589
00:26:43,359 --> 00:26:45,680
Speaker 3: off half of it by twenty twenty two. By the way,

590
00:26:45,760 --> 00:26:47,960
Speaker 3: this comes from smitten Quelobite and if you want to

591
00:26:47,960 --> 00:26:49,920
Speaker 3: smit your own stories, go to the r slash Okay

592
00:26:49,920 --> 00:26:50,760
Speaker 3: storytime severed it.

593
00:26:50,880 --> 00:26:53,760
Speaker 2: I'm Sophia, I'm Carly, I'm Keon, and are here to

594
00:26:53,760 --> 00:26:54,200
Speaker 2: give good.

595
00:26:54,119 --> 00:26:56,280
Speaker 3: Advice Goofily, but we don't have all the answers. We

596
00:26:56,400 --> 00:26:59,080
Speaker 3: only know what we'd do, So let us know what

597
00:26:59,119 --> 00:27:03,199
Speaker 3: you would do in the comments, and Opie says. My parents,

598
00:27:03,280 --> 00:27:06,920
Speaker 3: Denie oldest sister, thirty five female, and Vicki middle sister

599
00:27:06,960 --> 00:27:09,639
Speaker 3: to thirty three female were living in this house. I

600
00:27:09,760 --> 00:27:12,320
Speaker 3: was not living with them, as I owned my own

601
00:27:12,359 --> 00:27:15,600
Speaker 3: condo in Toronto with my husband. The only income paying

602
00:27:15,640 --> 00:27:18,919
Speaker 3: for the house's mortgage was my father's pension since he

603
00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:21,880
Speaker 3: was retired. My mother wasn't working at the time, as

604
00:27:21,880 --> 00:27:23,560
Speaker 3: she had left her job to take care of my

605
00:27:23,600 --> 00:27:27,120
Speaker 3: father full time since he was undergoing medical treatments at

606
00:27:27,119 --> 00:27:30,119
Speaker 3: home and needed monitoring. Jan and Vicki were working, but

607
00:27:30,200 --> 00:27:33,639
Speaker 3: were not contributing to the mortgage or paying rent, although

608
00:27:33,680 --> 00:27:36,640
Speaker 3: they did contribute to some of the bills. Oftentimes, Vicki

609
00:27:36,680 --> 00:27:40,000
Speaker 3: would stay with her boyfriend in Scarborough as his place

610
00:27:40,080 --> 00:27:42,760
Speaker 3: was closer to her work. At this point, my parents

611
00:27:42,800 --> 00:27:46,040
Speaker 3: were in bad financial shape, so Vicki and I kept

612
00:27:46,200 --> 00:27:49,199
Speaker 3: encouraging them to sell the house. We wanted them to

613
00:27:49,240 --> 00:27:51,600
Speaker 3: downsize and use the money from selling to buy a

614
00:27:51,600 --> 00:27:56,040
Speaker 3: house where they could have no mortgage. Honestly, yeah, I

615
00:27:56,040 --> 00:27:59,600
Speaker 3: mean it's pretty difficult to be like, still paying for

616
00:27:59,640 --> 00:28:03,080
Speaker 3: mortgage and also have a partner who's on who's retired.

617
00:28:04,080 --> 00:28:06,639
Speaker 3: In twenty twenty two, houses in the area were worth

618
00:28:06,680 --> 00:28:09,919
Speaker 3: around one point seven million dollars, so they would have

619
00:28:09,960 --> 00:28:12,440
Speaker 3: made a decent profit if they had sold. I should

620
00:28:12,440 --> 00:28:15,439
Speaker 3: also mention that my mother decided to take one hundred

621
00:28:15,480 --> 00:28:19,760
Speaker 3: thousand dollars loan to potentially remodel the basement so they

622
00:28:19,760 --> 00:28:22,840
Speaker 3: could rent it out and generate passive income. One day

623
00:28:22,880 --> 00:28:25,159
Speaker 3: in March twenty twenty two, my mother sent me a

624
00:28:25,200 --> 00:28:28,119
Speaker 3: listing for a five bedroom open house in Niagara Falls.

625
00:28:28,520 --> 00:28:32,040
Speaker 3: The newly built house was around one point six million dollars,

626
00:28:32,240 --> 00:28:35,520
Speaker 3: with one owner who never moved in. She really wanted

627
00:28:35,520 --> 00:28:37,760
Speaker 3: me and my husband to take her and my father

628
00:28:37,920 --> 00:28:40,479
Speaker 3: to see this house. I decided to entertain the idea

629
00:28:40,560 --> 00:28:43,360
Speaker 3: since my mother was going stir crazy staying at home

630
00:28:43,440 --> 00:28:45,760
Speaker 3: due to the bid lockdowns, it would give us a

631
00:28:45,840 --> 00:28:47,280
Speaker 3: chance to get them out of the house and do

632
00:28:47,360 --> 00:28:49,680
Speaker 3: something like going to the open house and crossing the

633
00:28:49,800 --> 00:28:52,640
Speaker 3: US border. My parents saw the house and loved it,

634
00:28:52,720 --> 00:28:55,320
Speaker 3: thinking this would be an opportunity for a bigger home.

635
00:28:55,800 --> 00:28:58,120
Speaker 3: I'm not sure why they thought they needed a bigger home,

636
00:28:58,160 --> 00:29:01,600
Speaker 3: as Vicky wouldn't even live there since she could stay

637
00:29:01,640 --> 00:29:04,760
Speaker 3: with her boyfriend in Scarborough and I had my own condo.

638
00:29:05,040 --> 00:29:07,800
Speaker 3: It seemed like they wanted a bigger house just for

639
00:29:07,920 --> 00:29:11,960
Speaker 3: the optics. Dude, Honestly, I wouldn't entertain it. I'd be like,

640
00:29:12,360 --> 00:29:14,960
Speaker 3: I literally just said that you should buy a house

641
00:29:15,280 --> 00:29:17,840
Speaker 3: that you can actually pay off, and they'd be like.

642
00:29:17,800 --> 00:29:21,040
Speaker 2: But it's zero point one million US one million hours.

643
00:29:21,600 --> 00:29:24,480
Speaker 3: My impression of the house wasn't great either. The sinks

644
00:29:24,520 --> 00:29:27,000
Speaker 3: were low, and the four bedrooms that weren't the primary

645
00:29:27,080 --> 00:29:30,040
Speaker 3: room were connected by two Jack and Jill washrooms, if

646
00:29:30,080 --> 00:29:32,840
Speaker 3: that makes sense. I thought it was poorly built and

647
00:29:33,000 --> 00:29:36,120
Speaker 3: was not thrilled about the location as it was far

648
00:29:36,160 --> 00:29:39,000
Speaker 3: from family. At the time, I didn't think much of

649
00:29:39,040 --> 00:29:42,720
Speaker 3: it since my parents hadn't even sold their Mississauga house yet,

650
00:29:43,160 --> 00:29:47,200
Speaker 3: but then my mother took the realtor's contact information. Unbeknownst

651
00:29:47,240 --> 00:29:50,280
Speaker 3: to me, my mother gave the realtor a thirty K

652
00:29:50,520 --> 00:29:54,280
Speaker 3: deposit from her one hundred K loan to secure the

653
00:29:54,360 --> 00:29:57,480
Speaker 3: Niagara Falls house. I'm not even sure how the whole

654
00:29:57,480 --> 00:30:01,280
Speaker 3: transaction happened, as only my father income would be used.

655
00:30:01,680 --> 00:30:04,280
Speaker 3: I think selling the Mississauga home was also supposed to

656
00:30:04,320 --> 00:30:07,920
Speaker 3: play a role in securing this home. I was livid

657
00:30:08,280 --> 00:30:11,080
Speaker 3: because this purchase was not discussed with me or my

658
00:30:11,160 --> 00:30:14,600
Speaker 3: sister's for input. We asked her several times to rescind

659
00:30:14,680 --> 00:30:17,040
Speaker 3: the offer, but she said she would lose the thirty

660
00:30:17,120 --> 00:30:20,200
Speaker 3: k deposit if she did. I was so angry with

661
00:30:20,240 --> 00:30:23,080
Speaker 3: my parents, but there was nothing I could do. Jan

662
00:30:23,320 --> 00:30:25,520
Speaker 3: was furious as well because she would have to leave

663
00:30:25,560 --> 00:30:28,760
Speaker 3: the Greater Toronto area, where there were more job opportunities

664
00:30:29,120 --> 00:30:30,920
Speaker 3: and find a job in Niagara Falls.

665
00:30:30,960 --> 00:30:33,320
Speaker 4: Did they also say that they were going over the border?

666
00:30:33,400 --> 00:30:35,000
Speaker 4: So were they buying a house in the US?

667
00:30:35,240 --> 00:30:38,680
Speaker 3: Yeah? Okay, yeah, Since my parents were so deep into

668
00:30:38,680 --> 00:30:40,800
Speaker 3: their purchase they needed someone to co sign.

669
00:30:41,000 --> 00:30:41,440
Speaker 2: Mm mmm.

670
00:30:41,880 --> 00:30:44,440
Speaker 3: My parents' credit was poor as they'd been put in

671
00:30:44,480 --> 00:30:47,960
Speaker 3: collections a few times, maxed out their credit cards, didn't

672
00:30:48,000 --> 00:30:49,600
Speaker 3: pay bills on time, et cetera.

673
00:30:49,760 --> 00:30:52,840
Speaker 5: Wow sounds on the money there for them.

674
00:30:53,200 --> 00:30:56,400
Speaker 3: Yikes. They got Vicki to co sign since she had

675
00:30:56,400 --> 00:30:59,360
Speaker 3: a good income and good credit. My parents liked to

676
00:30:59,440 --> 00:31:01,800
Speaker 3: use manipulation and guilt tripping to make us do what

677
00:31:01,840 --> 00:31:05,240
Speaker 3: they want. Our whole lives have been this way. Vicki

678
00:31:05,320 --> 00:31:08,040
Speaker 3: wanted to appease my parents, so she agreed to do it.

679
00:31:08,440 --> 00:31:10,440
Speaker 3: Since there was no going back and they were already

680
00:31:10,480 --> 00:31:13,800
Speaker 3: invested in this house, she co signed, even though she

681
00:31:13,840 --> 00:31:16,760
Speaker 3: would not even live in this house. She admits this

682
00:31:16,800 --> 00:31:19,520
Speaker 3: would be the biggest regret of her life. My parents

683
00:31:19,560 --> 00:31:23,320
Speaker 3: then use the Niagara Falls realtor to sell their Mississauga house.

684
00:31:23,840 --> 00:31:26,200
Speaker 3: Looking back, they should have used a realtor familiar with

685
00:31:26,240 --> 00:31:29,120
Speaker 3: the area and who was local. Since they purchased the

686
00:31:29,200 --> 00:31:31,880
Speaker 3: Niagara Falls house, they were given a closing date of

687
00:31:31,960 --> 00:31:34,720
Speaker 3: June twenty twenty two. This meant they had to sell

688
00:31:34,760 --> 00:31:38,640
Speaker 3: the Mississauga house quickly to coincide with the closing The

689
00:31:38,680 --> 00:31:41,400
Speaker 3: realtor encouraged my mother to make some updates to the house,

690
00:31:41,560 --> 00:31:44,680
Speaker 3: painting the walls, replacing some fixtures, and gave her the

691
00:31:44,720 --> 00:31:48,080
Speaker 3: contact info of a contractor who had turned out was

692
00:31:48,160 --> 00:31:51,800
Speaker 3: related to the Niagara Falls realtor. My mother used the

693
00:31:51,840 --> 00:31:54,680
Speaker 3: loan to pay for these upgrades. For a couple of weeks,

694
00:31:54,720 --> 00:31:58,880
Speaker 3: the contractor drove from Niagara Falls to Mississauga every day

695
00:31:59,320 --> 00:32:03,000
Speaker 3: to work on the house. Eventually, the Mississauga house went

696
00:32:03,040 --> 00:32:05,760
Speaker 3: on the market, but after a few weeks without offers,

697
00:32:06,160 --> 00:32:09,840
Speaker 3: they lowered the price a few times weeks and added

698
00:32:09,880 --> 00:32:13,360
Speaker 3: a condition that they would give buyers fifteen K since

699
00:32:13,400 --> 00:32:14,880
Speaker 3: the basement wasn't finished.

700
00:32:15,000 --> 00:32:18,840
Speaker 2: My biggest thing, why are you moving from Canada to

701
00:32:18,880 --> 00:32:19,840
Speaker 2: the US.

702
00:32:20,040 --> 00:32:21,200
Speaker 4: Why are you doing that to you?

703
00:32:21,400 --> 00:32:25,600
Speaker 3: So's I just don't think they thought any of this through. Eventually,

704
00:32:25,640 --> 00:32:27,960
Speaker 3: they received an offer and sold the house for one

705
00:32:28,040 --> 00:32:31,560
Speaker 3: point five million. The finances at this point looked something

706
00:32:31,640 --> 00:32:36,280
Speaker 3: like this new mortgage around seven hundred K with a

707
00:32:36,280 --> 00:32:39,160
Speaker 3: two year renewal, including the loan my mother took earlier.

708
00:32:39,360 --> 00:32:42,520
Speaker 3: They also included Vicki's debt in the mortgage, and Vicki

709
00:32:42,600 --> 00:32:44,880
Speaker 3: would give them a set amount each month to help

710
00:32:44,920 --> 00:32:47,720
Speaker 3: they her part. So now in the Niagara Falls house,

711
00:32:47,760 --> 00:32:50,440
Speaker 3: it was my parents and Jan living there while Vicki

712
00:32:50,480 --> 00:32:53,760
Speaker 3: and I stayed in the Greater Toronto area. My mother

713
00:32:53,800 --> 00:32:56,400
Speaker 3: gave Vicki and me a room to use when we visited.

714
00:32:56,960 --> 00:32:59,280
Speaker 3: I didn't have much to move, but Vicki did. We

715
00:32:59,360 --> 00:33:01,840
Speaker 3: told them that we wouldn't be visiting often, maybe three

716
00:33:01,840 --> 00:33:04,360
Speaker 3: to four times a year, as the house was about

717
00:33:04,360 --> 00:33:07,200
Speaker 3: a two hour drive away. I would get so annoyed

718
00:33:07,240 --> 00:33:09,560
Speaker 3: since they were the ones who moved so far away.

719
00:33:09,800 --> 00:33:13,120
Speaker 3: I never connected with the house. I hated it. Fast

720
00:33:13,160 --> 00:33:15,600
Speaker 3: forward about a year and a half and my parents

721
00:33:15,600 --> 00:33:19,360
Speaker 3: were struggling financially again. The property taxes were too high

722
00:33:19,400 --> 00:33:22,000
Speaker 3: and they needed more income. At this point, only my

723
00:33:22,080 --> 00:33:25,280
Speaker 3: father's pension was paying the mortgage, with Vicky helping pay

724
00:33:25,360 --> 00:33:28,720
Speaker 3: her part. My mother and Jan were still not working.

725
00:33:29,120 --> 00:33:32,160
Speaker 3: My mother decided to rent out two rooms, including my

726
00:33:32,280 --> 00:33:35,360
Speaker 3: room and the fourth bedroom. Additionally, Jane fell ill and

727
00:33:35,480 --> 00:33:38,520
Speaker 3: was diagnosed with something that limited her mobility, so she

728
00:33:38,560 --> 00:33:42,000
Speaker 3: could no longer work. With my mother drowning in debt,

729
00:33:42,160 --> 00:33:44,960
Speaker 3: she decided to remortgage the house and take the equity

730
00:33:45,000 --> 00:33:47,200
Speaker 3: they had built over the year and a half. Since

731
00:33:47,280 --> 00:33:49,800
Speaker 3: Vicky had co signed, she had to provide her financial

732
00:33:49,840 --> 00:33:53,920
Speaker 3: documents again. This brought the mortgage higher. Vicki and I

733
00:33:54,000 --> 00:33:56,840
Speaker 3: were frustrated and encouraged our parents to take a loss

734
00:33:57,320 --> 00:34:01,200
Speaker 3: and sell, but my mother refused, believing the house would

735
00:34:01,200 --> 00:34:05,080
Speaker 3: appreciate in the future. My parents were then fine for

736
00:34:05,200 --> 00:34:10,280
Speaker 3: a while, until they weren't again. Their financial situation worsened.

737
00:34:10,719 --> 00:34:13,480
Speaker 3: They found a third party mortgage broker that helped get

738
00:34:13,480 --> 00:34:17,120
Speaker 3: them one hundred and fifty K loan, bringing the mortgage

739
00:34:17,120 --> 00:34:20,480
Speaker 3: to nine hundred and fifty thousand dollars. Vicki and I

740
00:34:20,640 --> 00:34:24,560
Speaker 3: were furious. Vicky didn't want to sign anything, but my

741
00:34:24,600 --> 00:34:26,839
Speaker 3: mother guilt tripped her into it and offered her five

742
00:34:26,960 --> 00:34:27,799
Speaker 3: K from the loan.

743
00:34:27,960 --> 00:34:30,800
Speaker 4: Stop VICKI, what are you doing?

744
00:34:31,000 --> 00:34:35,759
Speaker 3: Gay? Eventually Vicky signed. My parents also gave me five

745
00:34:35,800 --> 00:34:38,680
Speaker 3: thousand dollars, which I was hesitant to take. I ended

746
00:34:38,760 --> 00:34:40,920
Speaker 3: up using it for a family Christmas party. I hosted

747
00:34:41,560 --> 00:34:46,279
Speaker 3: five thousand dollars. You used the five thousand dollars for

748
00:34:46,360 --> 00:34:47,880
Speaker 3: a family Christmas party?

749
00:34:48,600 --> 00:34:49,399
Speaker 2: Are you rich? Rich?

750
00:34:49,680 --> 00:34:52,719
Speaker 3: My mother wanted an expensive karaoke machine, so I used

751
00:34:52,719 --> 00:34:55,120
Speaker 3: the money for that. My father also pushed my mother

752
00:34:55,120 --> 00:34:57,680
Speaker 3: to buy him a new car, so she paid for

753
00:34:57,680 --> 00:35:02,000
Speaker 3: a sixty five thousand dollars suv. You have like mobility issues.

754
00:35:02,239 --> 00:35:03,600
Speaker 2: Yeah.

755
00:35:03,680 --> 00:35:07,200
Speaker 3: They also used the loan for renovations, kitchen fence, pagoda,

756
00:35:07,520 --> 00:35:09,719
Speaker 3: and to treat their friends, going to the States often

757
00:35:09,800 --> 00:35:12,400
Speaker 3: to buy groceries. Oh, they must not be in the

758
00:35:12,560 --> 00:35:14,960
Speaker 3: US part of the Niagara Falls. They said they were

759
00:35:14,960 --> 00:35:16,840
Speaker 3: going across the border. Yeah, but I think maybe for

760
00:35:16,880 --> 00:35:20,160
Speaker 3: a visit because he was. This year, the two renters

761
00:35:20,160 --> 00:35:23,319
Speaker 3: moved out and my mother had no income aside from

762
00:35:23,320 --> 00:35:26,600
Speaker 3: my father's pension. She became desperate again and wanted Vicky

763
00:35:26,640 --> 00:35:29,279
Speaker 3: to sign another loan. Vicky refused.

764
00:35:29,520 --> 00:35:32,520
Speaker 2: Good, nice, Vicky, what the heck?

765
00:35:32,680 --> 00:35:35,319
Speaker 3: I called my parents telling them how irresponsible it was

766
00:35:35,360 --> 00:35:37,760
Speaker 3: to keep getting loans to pay for other loans.

767
00:35:38,239 --> 00:35:38,439
Speaker 2: Yeah.

768
00:35:39,320 --> 00:35:43,000
Speaker 3: They ignored me and victimized themselves, saying, fine, if you

769
00:35:43,160 --> 00:35:46,160
Speaker 3: kids don't want to help that, we can do this ourselves.

770
00:35:46,640 --> 00:35:49,759
Speaker 3: And Vicky should have never co signed because now we

771
00:35:49,760 --> 00:35:51,880
Speaker 3: can't get this loan since we have to involve her,

772
00:35:52,480 --> 00:35:55,440
Speaker 3: I block them. VICKI was still in contact and they

773
00:35:55,440 --> 00:35:57,759
Speaker 3: informed her they were going to sell the SUV to

774
00:35:57,800 --> 00:36:01,239
Speaker 3: the dealership. They ended up getting thirty K so they

775
00:36:01,280 --> 00:36:05,040
Speaker 3: lost thirty five k I guess they didn't negotiate.

776
00:36:05,840 --> 00:36:06,000
Speaker 2: Ugh.

777
00:36:06,560 --> 00:36:09,120
Speaker 3: They bleed through that money quickly paying bills, the rhy

778
00:36:09,280 --> 00:36:12,080
Speaker 3: mortgage and going out. Cut to this week, my mother

779
00:36:12,120 --> 00:36:15,200
Speaker 3: found another mortgage broker on Facebook who claimed they could

780
00:36:15,200 --> 00:36:19,160
Speaker 3: help lower the mortgage scam. This would involve making Vicky

781
00:36:19,160 --> 00:36:21,560
Speaker 3: a co owner of the house, once one she doesn't

782
00:36:21,600 --> 00:36:24,719
Speaker 3: even live in. In some screenshots my mother sent VICKI

783
00:36:24,760 --> 00:36:26,840
Speaker 3: from the broker, it mentioned they needed to find a

784
00:36:26,840 --> 00:36:29,680
Speaker 3: way to make my parents appear as owners of a corporation.

785
00:36:30,560 --> 00:36:37,080
Speaker 3: Uh yeah, I don't understand. Vicky vehemently refused. She was

786
00:36:37,160 --> 00:36:40,400
Speaker 3: upset and ignored the messages. My mother got the broker

787
00:36:40,400 --> 00:36:43,320
Speaker 3: to directly contact her own WhatsApp and they started calling

788
00:36:43,360 --> 00:36:47,880
Speaker 3: her non stop. Vicky eventually blocked them and deleted WhatsApp.

789
00:36:48,280 --> 00:36:51,200
Speaker 3: I followed suit. We decided it was time to cut

790
00:36:51,239 --> 00:36:54,520
Speaker 3: them off. Today in our sister group chat, Jan told

791
00:36:54,560 --> 00:36:57,560
Speaker 3: us that both our parents were crying because we don't

792
00:36:57,600 --> 00:36:58,760
Speaker 3: want to help them.

793
00:36:58,880 --> 00:37:01,160
Speaker 2: Can Vicky cut them off off if she's on all

794
00:37:01,160 --> 00:37:01,759
Speaker 2: the names of.

795
00:37:01,719 --> 00:37:03,359
Speaker 3: These law I don't know that's a good point.

796
00:37:03,400 --> 00:37:04,320
Speaker 2: I don't think she can.

797
00:37:05,040 --> 00:37:07,520
Speaker 3: They're claiming we want them to lose their house, saying

798
00:37:07,560 --> 00:37:10,759
Speaker 3: we are disrespectful. They're saying that we want them to

799
00:37:10,800 --> 00:37:12,560
Speaker 3: lose their house and live on the streets in their

800
00:37:12,560 --> 00:37:14,400
Speaker 3: old age and with their declining health.

801
00:37:15,320 --> 00:37:16,080
Speaker 4: Other mansion.

802
00:37:16,239 --> 00:37:19,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, they're also saying we want them to live on

803
00:37:19,080 --> 00:37:21,920
Speaker 3: the street while we live in a house for contacts.

804
00:37:21,920 --> 00:37:23,880
Speaker 3: My husband and I sold our condo last year to

805
00:37:23,920 --> 00:37:26,640
Speaker 3: pay off debt and be financially free. We now rent

806
00:37:26,680 --> 00:37:30,440
Speaker 3: a townhouse near Scarborough. Chan seems to have sided with

807
00:37:30,560 --> 00:37:32,920
Speaker 3: them while she was living in the house. I was

808
00:37:32,920 --> 00:37:35,920
Speaker 3: so emotional, I started swearing in all caps, telling Jan

809
00:37:36,040 --> 00:37:39,320
Speaker 3: and them to f off. I've had enough. I blocked

810
00:37:39,400 --> 00:37:41,839
Speaker 3: Jan on everything. But there is a little bit left

811
00:37:41,920 --> 00:37:45,320
Speaker 3: to this story. I love it any final thoughts.

812
00:37:45,440 --> 00:37:47,560
Speaker 5: I just love how they're like, you put us in

813
00:37:47,560 --> 00:37:49,279
Speaker 5: this position and you're not helping us.

814
00:37:49,600 --> 00:37:50,680
Speaker 4: Yeah, you did this.

815
00:37:51,040 --> 00:37:54,200
Speaker 2: You bought two mansions.

816
00:37:54,560 --> 00:37:55,040
Speaker 3: Mansions?

817
00:37:55,600 --> 00:37:56,640
Speaker 4: Oh my god.

818
00:37:57,560 --> 00:37:59,920
Speaker 3: After I angrily left the group chat, she posted on

819
00:38:00,160 --> 00:38:03,600
Speaker 3: social media that people shouldn't take their parents for granted.

820
00:38:04,320 --> 00:38:07,160
Speaker 3: Are you kidding me? Jan and my mother have always

821
00:38:07,200 --> 00:38:10,320
Speaker 3: had a rocky relationship. Jan always said my mother ruined

822
00:38:10,360 --> 00:38:13,040
Speaker 3: her life. I think Vicky and I need to take

823
00:38:13,120 --> 00:38:16,440
Speaker 3: legal action against our parents to stop them from relying

824
00:38:16,440 --> 00:38:20,319
Speaker 3: on us. Vicky is extremely distressed and it's affecting her

825
00:38:20,320 --> 00:38:23,239
Speaker 3: at work. I am losing so much sleep over this

826
00:38:23,360 --> 00:38:26,799
Speaker 3: and it's draining me emotionally and mentally. Our family is

827
00:38:26,840 --> 00:38:29,280
Speaker 3: torn apart over this house, and it's clear my parents

828
00:38:29,320 --> 00:38:32,560
Speaker 3: are choosing the house over us. Am I the ale

829
00:38:32,840 --> 00:38:35,640
Speaker 3: or we Vicky and I for wanting my parents to

830
00:38:35,760 --> 00:38:39,520
Speaker 3: sell their house. Any advice and guidance is also appreciated.

831
00:38:39,800 --> 00:38:42,840
Speaker 3: Please be gentle to me, Lol, You're not the ale.

832
00:38:43,239 --> 00:38:45,640
Speaker 3: Your parents just don't know how to handle money, and

833
00:38:45,640 --> 00:38:47,759
Speaker 3: that's not your fault. You've advised them to the best

834
00:38:47,800 --> 00:38:50,240
Speaker 3: of your ability. Yeah, and they haven't listened.

835
00:38:50,680 --> 00:38:53,600
Speaker 4: And hopefully Vicky can get off of that somehow. Yeah,

836
00:38:53,640 --> 00:38:56,480
Speaker 4: not sure how, but good luck, good luck, good luck.

837
00:38:56,880 --> 00:38:58,520
Speaker 2: And that's the end of this story. We're going to

838
00:38:58,600 --> 00:39:02,080
Speaker 2: go to the next one. My mother in law insulted

839
00:39:02,120 --> 00:39:04,200
Speaker 2: me then acted like nothing happened.

840
00:39:04,239 --> 00:39:05,080
Speaker 5: Wait what happened?

841
00:39:05,160 --> 00:39:08,080
Speaker 2: I twenty three female, have been with my fiance, twenty

842
00:39:08,080 --> 00:39:10,919
Speaker 2: seven male, for a year and a half and we've

843
00:39:10,960 --> 00:39:14,600
Speaker 2: been engaged for six months. We're happy, deeply in love

844
00:39:14,680 --> 00:39:18,120
Speaker 2: and honestly we get along amazingly, but like in every

845
00:39:18,160 --> 00:39:21,560
Speaker 2: fairy tale, there has to be a villain, right, Yeah,

846
00:39:21,640 --> 00:39:25,040
Speaker 2: you guessed it, that's right, it's his mom. We used

847
00:39:25,080 --> 00:39:28,360
Speaker 2: to visit his parents. They live two hours away about

848
00:39:28,400 --> 00:39:31,719
Speaker 2: once a month, and things were okay at first. By

849
00:39:31,760 --> 00:39:34,239
Speaker 2: the way, this comes from shadow Hunter three thousand and

850
00:39:34,239 --> 00:39:35,840
Speaker 2: If you want us to meet your own stories, go

851
00:39:35,880 --> 00:39:38,320
Speaker 2: to the r slash okay storytime stub Reddit. I'm Carly

852
00:39:38,640 --> 00:39:39,120
Speaker 2: and I'm.

853
00:39:39,040 --> 00:39:42,200
Speaker 5: Keon wearing glasses and a hat because I have allergies.

854
00:39:41,760 --> 00:39:44,200
Speaker 2: And we're here to give good advice. Goofily, But we

855
00:39:44,239 --> 00:39:47,279
Speaker 2: don't have all the answers. We only know what we'd do,

856
00:39:47,520 --> 00:39:49,480
Speaker 2: So let us know what you would do in the comments.

857
00:39:49,640 --> 00:39:53,080
Speaker 2: During our first visit, which was Christmas at their house,

858
00:39:53,600 --> 00:39:59,000
Speaker 2: his mom called me by his ex's name three times.

859
00:39:59,160 --> 00:40:03,720
Speaker 2: They had broken up two years before after she cheated

860
00:40:03,760 --> 00:40:06,880
Speaker 2: on him twice. It was awkward, but I let it

861
00:40:06,920 --> 00:40:11,160
Speaker 2: slide since she seemed nice otherwise. I made genuine efforts

862
00:40:11,200 --> 00:40:13,480
Speaker 2: to build a relationship with her. I cooked for her,

863
00:40:13,640 --> 00:40:17,560
Speaker 2: shared recipes, baked her a birthday cake, and bought her gifts.

864
00:40:17,760 --> 00:40:20,840
Speaker 2: Everything changed when we told his family we planned to

865
00:40:20,880 --> 00:40:24,000
Speaker 2: move to the Netherlands. He worked in it and has

866
00:40:24,120 --> 00:40:28,000
Speaker 2: a stable, well paid job, while I've been grinding through

867
00:40:28,160 --> 00:40:31,680
Speaker 2: unstable jobs since UNI. We invited them to spend Christmas

868
00:40:31,719 --> 00:40:34,479
Speaker 2: with us and had a nice time until we brought

869
00:40:34,600 --> 00:40:37,120
Speaker 2: up the move. I let my fiance do most of

870
00:40:37,160 --> 00:40:39,960
Speaker 2: the talking to avoid looking like the girl taking their

871
00:40:40,000 --> 00:40:43,480
Speaker 2: son away. A week later, she video called him, knowing

872
00:40:43,560 --> 00:40:47,320
Speaker 2: I could hear, and went off. Accused me of convincing

873
00:40:47,400 --> 00:40:49,880
Speaker 2: him to move. Said I'm a princess who doesn't go

874
00:40:49,920 --> 00:40:52,759
Speaker 2: to work unless it's a job in my field. I

875
00:40:52,800 --> 00:40:55,600
Speaker 2: have never had a job in a foreign languages, but

876
00:40:55,760 --> 00:40:58,680
Speaker 2: I've still been working for four years now. Said I'd

877
00:40:58,760 --> 00:41:01,560
Speaker 2: leave him for someone yet younger were twenty three and

878
00:41:01,640 --> 00:41:05,040
Speaker 2: twenty seven, criticized him for not having a house or

879
00:41:05,200 --> 00:41:07,880
Speaker 2: kid yet, even though she borrowed a large sum of

880
00:41:07,880 --> 00:41:10,680
Speaker 2: money from him and also doesn't have a house of

881
00:41:10,719 --> 00:41:14,160
Speaker 2: her own, and then ended the call by calling me

882
00:41:14,440 --> 00:41:15,279
Speaker 2: a not.

883
00:41:15,239 --> 00:41:17,920
Speaker 5: A good thing yet not a good thing for anybody.

884
00:41:18,000 --> 00:41:21,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, we were both in shock. He immediately hung up

885
00:41:21,560 --> 00:41:23,960
Speaker 2: and apologized to me. He didn't speak to her for

886
00:41:24,120 --> 00:41:28,800
Speaker 2: three months. She refused to apologize and instead sent guilt

887
00:41:28,800 --> 00:41:31,640
Speaker 2: tripping texts like does it feel good to be upset

888
00:41:31,680 --> 00:41:35,240
Speaker 2: with me? My fiance stood firm, no apology, no contact.

889
00:41:35,280 --> 00:41:38,960
Speaker 2: Eventually she started acting like nothing happened. When he visited

890
00:41:39,000 --> 00:41:42,080
Speaker 2: home again, she was all friendly and chatty, like everything

891
00:41:42,160 --> 00:41:46,680
Speaker 2: was fine, and now they're back to texting and calling regularly. Meanwhile,

892
00:41:46,840 --> 00:41:50,680
Speaker 2: she never apologized, not to him, not to me, and

893
00:41:50,960 --> 00:41:54,120
Speaker 2: I can't stop thinking about it. We're getting married in September,

894
00:41:54,200 --> 00:41:57,479
Speaker 2: a small ceremony with just close family, and the thought

895
00:41:57,520 --> 00:42:00,680
Speaker 2: of her being there smiling like nothing happened and makes

896
00:42:00,719 --> 00:42:03,440
Speaker 2: me sick. I love my fiance with all my heart,

897
00:42:03,560 --> 00:42:06,759
Speaker 2: but this is eating at me. I'm resentful she gets

898
00:42:06,800 --> 00:42:10,120
Speaker 2: to just exist in our lives without consequences. I feel

899
00:42:10,200 --> 00:42:13,920
Speaker 2: resentful towards my partner and also his sister and his father.

900
00:42:14,280 --> 00:42:18,000
Speaker 2: I feel like my feelings were completely brushed aside, and

901
00:42:18,120 --> 00:42:20,440
Speaker 2: I don't know how to move past this. Has anyone

902
00:42:20,440 --> 00:42:23,600
Speaker 2: else dealt with something like this? How do you handle

903
00:42:23,640 --> 00:42:27,239
Speaker 2: a mother in law who disrespects you, never apologizes, and

904
00:42:27,440 --> 00:42:31,320
Speaker 2: acts like nothing happened Update mother in law drama partner

905
00:42:31,480 --> 00:42:35,840
Speaker 2: finally set a boundary, but I'm left feeling empty. First

906
00:42:35,840 --> 00:42:37,640
Speaker 2: of all, I just want to thank you all for

907
00:42:37,719 --> 00:42:42,040
Speaker 2: the support, the advice, and most importantly for sharing your experiences.

908
00:42:42,120 --> 00:42:45,080
Speaker 2: You have no idea how therapeutic it was to read

909
00:42:45,120 --> 00:42:49,160
Speaker 2: your comments. I live in a very traditional country, Romania,

910
00:42:49,200 --> 00:42:53,480
Speaker 2: where family is often valued above everything, sometimes in a

911
00:42:53,560 --> 00:42:57,000
Speaker 2: toxic way. Everyone around me kept saying all mother in

912
00:42:57,080 --> 00:43:00,320
Speaker 2: laws act like that, and that I should just accept

913
00:43:00,360 --> 00:43:03,440
Speaker 2: her as she is because she's the mother of my partner.

914
00:43:03,640 --> 00:43:07,400
Speaker 5: No, that's not cool. Maybe that's a cultural thing, but

915
00:43:07,480 --> 00:43:10,759
Speaker 5: even then, when you know you've been disrespected, I'm saying

916
00:43:10,760 --> 00:43:14,120
Speaker 5: it on business. I'm sorry, I'm saying on business.

917
00:43:13,840 --> 00:43:15,839
Speaker 2: Like OPI said, though, that's how it is there, which

918
00:43:15,880 --> 00:43:16,360
Speaker 2: is crazy.

919
00:43:16,760 --> 00:43:19,400
Speaker 5: Like we said, it's very common. It's very common. But

920
00:43:19,719 --> 00:43:20,759
Speaker 5: like we still stand there.

921
00:43:20,840 --> 00:43:22,800
Speaker 2: You did nothing wrong in wanting an apology.

922
00:43:23,000 --> 00:43:23,919
Speaker 5: Yeah, no, one hundred percent.

923
00:43:24,080 --> 00:43:27,240
Speaker 2: My own father even told me to stop being whiny

924
00:43:27,440 --> 00:43:29,399
Speaker 2: and just stop nudging the poor boy.

925
00:43:29,680 --> 00:43:30,880
Speaker 4: So seeing your.

926
00:43:30,760 --> 00:43:34,480
Speaker 2: Comments made me feel so heard and validated. It truly

927
00:43:34,560 --> 00:43:38,080
Speaker 2: meant the world to clarify. My partner and I actually

928
00:43:38,080 --> 00:43:41,719
Speaker 2: have a very healthy relationship. We communicate really well, and

929
00:43:41,800 --> 00:43:44,760
Speaker 2: we've talked about this mother in law situation over and over.

930
00:43:44,960 --> 00:43:47,960
Speaker 2: He was angry at his mom at first, but they

931
00:43:48,080 --> 00:43:51,840
Speaker 2: still resumed talking, even though he could see I was upset,

932
00:43:52,040 --> 00:43:54,440
Speaker 2: and to be fair, part of this is on me.

933
00:43:54,880 --> 00:43:57,560
Speaker 2: I never clearly told him I don't want her at

934
00:43:57,600 --> 00:44:00,879
Speaker 2: our wedding. In our culture, asking your partner to cut

935
00:44:00,880 --> 00:44:05,320
Speaker 2: off their parents is seen as extremely toxic and unforgivable.

936
00:44:05,840 --> 00:44:09,080
Speaker 2: So instead I just kept venting about how upset I

937
00:44:09,280 --> 00:44:13,160
Speaker 2: was about her presence, especially after everything she said and did.

938
00:44:13,440 --> 00:44:17,040
Speaker 2: Now here's the update. After I showed him your responses,

939
00:44:17,239 --> 00:44:21,799
Speaker 2: he agreed, no apology equals no wedding invitation. But here

940
00:44:21,880 --> 00:44:24,719
Speaker 2: is the thing that won't leave me alone. Why did

941
00:44:24,800 --> 00:44:27,399
Speaker 2: it take a bunch of strangers on Reddit for him

942
00:44:27,440 --> 00:44:31,359
Speaker 2: to finally see my side? Why wasn't my hurt enough

943
00:44:31,560 --> 00:44:34,400
Speaker 2: If I hadn't made this post, would things still be

944
00:44:34,440 --> 00:44:37,560
Speaker 2: the same? Would he still be texting her like nothing happened.

945
00:44:37,719 --> 00:44:40,840
Speaker 2: Everyone keeps telling me you got what you wanted, be happy,

946
00:44:41,440 --> 00:44:44,879
Speaker 2: but it doesn't feel like a win. Also, he texted her,

947
00:44:45,239 --> 00:44:48,239
Speaker 2: I guess I just don't deserve a phone call. He

948
00:44:48,280 --> 00:44:51,400
Speaker 2: politely told her that if she doesn't apologize, she can't

949
00:44:51,400 --> 00:44:54,239
Speaker 2: come to the wedding. She replied asking him to call her,

950
00:44:54,719 --> 00:44:57,759
Speaker 2: and of course he did. Her reaction, she said she

951
00:44:57,880 --> 00:45:00,160
Speaker 2: has the right to be upset and that she did

952
00:45:00,200 --> 00:45:04,600
Speaker 2: nothing wrong. She called me an orr again because apparently

953
00:45:04,719 --> 00:45:06,759
Speaker 2: the times when he used to be on video call

954
00:45:06,800 --> 00:45:09,760
Speaker 2: with them, I wasn't coming to the camera to say hi,

955
00:45:09,920 --> 00:45:13,319
Speaker 2: Like what, this whole thing is starting to feel like

956
00:45:13,360 --> 00:45:16,359
Speaker 2: a bad joke. So yeah, she said she's not coming

957
00:45:16,440 --> 00:45:19,160
Speaker 2: to the wedding because she'll never apologize. I did nothing

958
00:45:19,200 --> 00:45:23,480
Speaker 2: wrong the end MORTI Recently, I told my partner I've

959
00:45:23,520 --> 00:45:28,080
Speaker 2: started feeling resentful towards his dad too. He's always passive,

960
00:45:28,280 --> 00:45:31,800
Speaker 2: goes along with everything, his wife says. My fiance always

961
00:45:31,800 --> 00:45:34,520
Speaker 2: claimed his dad is neutral and even likes me. He's

962
00:45:34,560 --> 00:45:36,840
Speaker 2: always been polite and chatty when we visited.

963
00:45:37,200 --> 00:45:37,840
Speaker 4: But guess what.

964
00:45:38,120 --> 00:45:41,120
Speaker 2: His sister went home for Easter and their dad told

965
00:45:41,200 --> 00:45:44,600
Speaker 2: her that his son has so many more qualities than me,

966
00:45:44,880 --> 00:45:47,800
Speaker 2: and he doesn't understand why he's with me. He also

967
00:45:47,840 --> 00:45:51,400
Speaker 2: said he's sure my partner doesn't want kids because I smoke,

968
00:45:51,640 --> 00:45:54,520
Speaker 2: and his poor son is afraid our children will be

969
00:45:54,640 --> 00:45:56,839
Speaker 2: not a very nice thing to say about a child

970
00:45:57,000 --> 00:46:00,120
Speaker 2: or anybody any slow.

971
00:45:59,280 --> 00:46:00,000
Speaker 4: Because of it.

972
00:46:00,080 --> 00:46:03,640
Speaker 2: First off, I would never smoke during pregnancy, and I

973
00:46:03,760 --> 00:46:06,839
Speaker 2: even quit for months before, so I know I can

974
00:46:06,880 --> 00:46:10,440
Speaker 2: do it again. Second, his son never wanted kids. He

975
00:46:10,560 --> 00:46:13,160
Speaker 2: told them that even before we met, neither of us

976
00:46:13,239 --> 00:46:15,880
Speaker 2: wants children. That's one of the things that makes us

977
00:46:15,920 --> 00:46:19,360
Speaker 2: a perfect match. But I've kept up a traditional appearance

978
00:46:19,440 --> 00:46:23,040
Speaker 2: around them because well, you know how these families are.

979
00:46:23,880 --> 00:46:28,080
Speaker 2: So yeah, apparently I'm the downfall of their precious boy.

980
00:46:28,320 --> 00:46:31,840
Speaker 2: And then it gets worse. Two weeks ago, my partner's

981
00:46:31,880 --> 00:46:33,480
Speaker 2: mom asked her daughter, if.

982
00:46:33,320 --> 00:46:35,799
Speaker 5: Why you shouldn't be calling someone this name is.

983
00:46:35,719 --> 00:46:38,600
Speaker 2: With you when my partner and his sister were going

984
00:46:38,640 --> 00:46:41,440
Speaker 2: out to lunch just the two of them, something I

985
00:46:41,520 --> 00:46:45,040
Speaker 2: totally support. I think sibling time is important, even if

986
00:46:45,080 --> 00:46:47,839
Speaker 2: we usually hang out together. Then mother in law tried

987
00:46:47,880 --> 00:46:50,680
Speaker 2: to manipulate her in the thinking that I hate her

988
00:46:50,960 --> 00:46:54,520
Speaker 2: the sister and I'm avoiding her. I've always made an

989
00:46:54,520 --> 00:46:56,120
Speaker 2: effort with his sister, so that.

990
00:46:56,080 --> 00:46:57,040
Speaker 4: One really hurt.

991
00:46:57,200 --> 00:47:00,719
Speaker 2: Now here's the real kicker. Two days before I posted this,

992
00:47:01,000 --> 00:47:04,560
Speaker 2: I asked my partner directly if his mom had done

993
00:47:04,800 --> 00:47:08,279
Speaker 2: or said anything stupid recently. He said no, but he

994
00:47:08,400 --> 00:47:11,600
Speaker 2: knew about his comment to his sister, but just didn't

995
00:47:11,600 --> 00:47:14,240
Speaker 2: tell me because he didn't want to upset me. Guess

996
00:47:14,280 --> 00:47:18,920
Speaker 2: how I feel now, even more upset and betrayed, like

997
00:47:19,320 --> 00:47:23,160
Speaker 2: I trusted him to be honest with me, especially after everything.

998
00:47:23,239 --> 00:47:26,640
Speaker 2: This makes me feel like I can't trust him fully anymore,

999
00:47:26,840 --> 00:47:31,400
Speaker 2: and that's terrifying. He is perfect in every other way, truly,

1000
00:47:31,920 --> 00:47:34,640
Speaker 2: but when it comes to this situation and his family,

1001
00:47:34,840 --> 00:47:37,480
Speaker 2: I don't know. I feel like I'm going crazy. The

1002
00:47:37,520 --> 00:47:42,600
Speaker 2: thing is, before yesterday, the situation seemed like his mom

1003
00:47:42,680 --> 00:47:46,040
Speaker 2: had a rage episode, like she could have turned this

1004
00:47:46,160 --> 00:47:50,000
Speaker 2: around somehow, at least at the surface. But now that

1005
00:47:50,080 --> 00:47:53,160
Speaker 2: I found out from his sister all the crappy things

1006
00:47:53,200 --> 00:47:56,680
Speaker 2: they said about me, it feels like a never healing wound.

1007
00:47:56,800 --> 00:48:00,040
Speaker 2: There were more things said, but I really tried to

1008
00:48:00,120 --> 00:48:03,040
Speaker 2: keep it short. His mom also mentioned that I spend

1009
00:48:03,080 --> 00:48:06,480
Speaker 2: my partner's money. Yes, he earns a lot more than me,

1010
00:48:06,719 --> 00:48:10,400
Speaker 2: he works in it. But since I was eighteen, I

1011
00:48:10,560 --> 00:48:13,920
Speaker 2: moved to a different city, got into college, got a job,

1012
00:48:14,120 --> 00:48:16,440
Speaker 2: and haven't stopped working since.

1013
00:48:16,480 --> 00:48:18,640
Speaker 5: I don't know a pee. All I've heard is his

1014
00:48:18,640 --> 00:48:21,560
Speaker 5: family sucks. One other than a sister. Yeah, But all

1015
00:48:21,600 --> 00:48:24,440
Speaker 5: I'm hearing is you tell your your fiance. Not even

1016
00:48:24,480 --> 00:48:26,239
Speaker 5: that it's like you've told your fiance a couple of things,

1017
00:48:26,239 --> 00:48:28,680
Speaker 5: but the fact that your fiance is so negligent and

1018
00:48:28,840 --> 00:48:31,920
Speaker 5: just over his head of mom's calling you bad names.

1019
00:48:31,960 --> 00:48:36,520
Speaker 5: They keep trash talking you specifically, and he doesn't stop them. Yeah,

1020
00:48:36,560 --> 00:48:37,879
Speaker 5: he's not stopping them.

1021
00:48:37,920 --> 00:48:40,600
Speaker 2: He's just like he should never have gotten past the

1022
00:48:40,640 --> 00:48:43,000
Speaker 2: first time of her calling you that, to the point

1023
00:48:43,000 --> 00:48:45,680
Speaker 2: where it sounds like that's the name that she refers

1024
00:48:45,719 --> 00:48:48,759
Speaker 2: to you as over your actual name or like or

1025
00:48:48,880 --> 00:48:52,040
Speaker 2: just like fiance or like anything else. Like that sounds

1026
00:48:52,040 --> 00:48:53,440
Speaker 2: like it's a casual thing.

1027
00:48:53,280 --> 00:48:54,839
Speaker 4: That she calls she's like on the dail.

1028
00:48:55,080 --> 00:48:59,040
Speaker 2: He's and he's not correcting, he's not stopping.

1029
00:48:58,960 --> 00:49:02,320
Speaker 5: You know, he's not st like oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

1030
00:49:02,320 --> 00:49:03,640
Speaker 5: she's great, she's doing great.

1031
00:49:03,800 --> 00:49:04,040
Speaker 4: Yes.

1032
00:49:04,239 --> 00:49:07,279
Speaker 2: My first job was in a betting shop because it

1033
00:49:07,360 --> 00:49:09,520
Speaker 2: was the only job I found which allowed me to

1034
00:49:09,719 --> 00:49:12,680
Speaker 2: also go to school thanks to the flexible hours. Then

1035
00:49:12,840 --> 00:49:16,000
Speaker 2: I only had office jobs. They didn't get me rich,

1036
00:49:16,280 --> 00:49:19,720
Speaker 2: but they paid my bills. And this woman who only

1037
00:49:19,800 --> 00:49:24,080
Speaker 2: has twelve classes, no final exams or anything, and only

1038
00:49:24,120 --> 00:49:26,960
Speaker 2: worked in warehouses told me that I should just accept

1039
00:49:27,120 --> 00:49:30,279
Speaker 2: working as a dishwasher in the Netherlands since I am

1040
00:49:30,560 --> 00:49:33,680
Speaker 2: so unqualified, Like, why are you so mean? All of

1041
00:49:33,680 --> 00:49:37,759
Speaker 2: a sudden and now I'm overthinking. Am I being ungrateful

1042
00:49:37,840 --> 00:49:41,239
Speaker 2: for having found someone so great in general, for having

1043
00:49:41,360 --> 00:49:43,560
Speaker 2: a peaceful, loving relationship in.

1044
00:49:43,560 --> 00:49:44,560
Speaker 3: All other areas?

1045
00:49:44,640 --> 00:49:45,879
Speaker 4: Should I just let it.

1046
00:49:45,880 --> 00:49:48,399
Speaker 2: Go since everything else is going so well.

1047
00:49:49,080 --> 00:49:49,560
Speaker 4: I don't know.

1048
00:49:49,880 --> 00:49:52,319
Speaker 2: I just needed to get all of this out. I

1049
00:49:52,360 --> 00:49:54,640
Speaker 2: hope it makes sense. And I don't sound like some

1050
00:49:54,840 --> 00:49:58,120
Speaker 2: love sick fifteen year old oh the end of that story.

1051
00:49:58,440 --> 00:49:58,840
Speaker 5: I don't know.

1052
00:49:59,000 --> 00:50:01,120
Speaker 2: I don't think you sound like love sick fifty.

1053
00:50:01,480 --> 00:50:02,000
Speaker 1: Not at all.

1054
00:50:02,040 --> 00:50:04,839
Speaker 5: And maybe maybe this is I hope it's not. But

1055
00:50:04,920 --> 00:50:07,160
Speaker 5: this could be just the cult, like the Romanian culture.

1056
00:50:07,520 --> 00:50:09,480
Speaker 5: I don't I don't know, but I.

1057
00:50:09,239 --> 00:50:11,720
Speaker 2: Again, I'm at the point where I feel like there's

1058
00:50:12,080 --> 00:50:16,200
Speaker 2: still potential, slim hope that if he can, like you

1059
00:50:16,200 --> 00:50:19,600
Speaker 2: could realize what's happening, things can one turn around and

1060
00:50:19,600 --> 00:50:22,320
Speaker 2: if he's such like the perfect person in every other way.

1061
00:50:22,480 --> 00:50:24,960
Speaker 2: But this is not something that you can let slide.

1062
00:50:25,040 --> 00:50:26,719
Speaker 4: Because this is where it's starting.

1063
00:50:27,360 --> 00:50:29,279
Speaker 2: I feel like she's like mother in law is just

1064
00:50:29,320 --> 00:50:31,399
Speaker 2: gonna start to be like, oh, I can do more.

1065
00:50:31,560 --> 00:50:34,200
Speaker 2: They're gonna stay, especially after you guys are married.

1066
00:50:34,680 --> 00:50:37,880
Speaker 5: Especially this far into the relationship and she's still getting

1067
00:50:37,880 --> 00:50:40,200
Speaker 5: away with it. Yeah, And when she got free. By

1068
00:50:40,200 --> 00:50:43,200
Speaker 5: the way, there's no consequence, like he tried to go

1069
00:50:43,320 --> 00:50:45,000
Speaker 5: no contact, but that didn't do anything.

1070
00:50:45,280 --> 00:50:48,919
Speaker 2: And yeah, when they really see that, you guys don't

1071
00:50:48,920 --> 00:50:51,120
Speaker 2: want kids, and you're one hundred percent going to be

1072
00:50:51,120 --> 00:50:53,400
Speaker 2: blamed for that, even though it's mutual. And that's the

1073
00:50:53,480 --> 00:50:55,560
Speaker 2: end of this story. We're gonna go to the next one.

1074
00:50:56,280 --> 00:50:58,279
Speaker 3: Hey, John Ogi host here, we're gonna get back to

1075
00:50:58,280 --> 00:50:58,800
Speaker 3: this episode.

1076
00:50:58,960 --> 00:51:01,160
Speaker 2: But a quick three minute of ads from a sponsor's

1077
00:51:01,200 --> 00:51:04,719
Speaker 2: keeping the show alive. My mother in law excluded my

1078
00:51:04,920 --> 00:51:07,600
Speaker 2: daughter then had the nerve to play the victim.

1079
00:51:07,719 --> 00:51:09,920
Speaker 5: Oh no, she activated her victim trap card.

1080
00:51:10,040 --> 00:51:13,080
Speaker 2: It has been sixteen months since we have spoken to

1081
00:51:13,160 --> 00:51:16,279
Speaker 2: my mother in law, and while my husband stands by it,

1082
00:51:16,480 --> 00:51:18,839
Speaker 2: I can't help feeling like he would be happier with

1083
00:51:18,920 --> 00:51:21,319
Speaker 2: her in his life. He says that he can deal

1084
00:51:21,360 --> 00:51:23,640
Speaker 2: with her treating him this way, but when it comes

1085
00:51:23,680 --> 00:51:26,880
Speaker 2: to our own children, it is a non negotiable. Should

1086
00:51:26,920 --> 00:51:30,560
Speaker 2: I encourage him to mend the relationship aka let things

1087
00:51:30,600 --> 00:51:34,160
Speaker 2: go without an apology, or should I just let things

1088
00:51:34,239 --> 00:51:37,279
Speaker 2: be By the way, this comes from World's worst daughter

1089
00:51:37,320 --> 00:51:39,520
Speaker 2: in law And if you want to submit your own stories,

1090
00:51:39,520 --> 00:51:41,440
Speaker 2: go to the arslash Okay storytime stub Reddit.

1091
00:51:41,520 --> 00:51:44,520
Speaker 5: I'm Carly and I'm Keon with allergies.

1092
00:51:44,160 --> 00:51:46,600
Speaker 2: And we're here to give good advice goofily, But we

1093
00:51:46,719 --> 00:51:49,759
Speaker 2: don't have all the answers. We only know what we do,

1094
00:51:50,120 --> 00:51:52,120
Speaker 2: So let us know what you would do in the comments.

1095
00:51:52,360 --> 00:51:56,160
Speaker 2: Last April twenty twenty four, we had invited our mother

1096
00:51:56,200 --> 00:51:58,800
Speaker 2: in law on a trip to the beach with our family.

1097
00:51:58,920 --> 00:52:02,440
Speaker 2: We did not ask to pay anything, only any extras

1098
00:52:02,560 --> 00:52:05,359
Speaker 2: her own food, et cetera. We stayed in a very

1099
00:52:05,440 --> 00:52:09,600
Speaker 2: nice beachfront house and she had her own room there. Overall,

1100
00:52:09,760 --> 00:52:12,160
Speaker 2: it was a great trip and we were in a

1101
00:52:12,200 --> 00:52:14,800
Speaker 2: good place, even though in the past we have gone

1102
00:52:14,800 --> 00:52:18,319
Speaker 2: through some rough patches. Before and after the trip, we

1103
00:52:18,440 --> 00:52:21,960
Speaker 2: spent numerous Sundays at her house for dinner, about three

1104
00:52:22,120 --> 00:52:25,799
Speaker 2: Sunday dinners in a row. She continually kept bringing up

1105
00:52:25,840 --> 00:52:29,480
Speaker 2: our niece's birthday sleepover. She's around the same age as

1106
00:52:29,480 --> 00:52:33,120
Speaker 2: my daughter, one year apart, and she was talking about

1107
00:52:33,120 --> 00:52:36,160
Speaker 2: how fun the sleepover was gonna be, planning all of

1108
00:52:36,200 --> 00:52:37,120
Speaker 2: the activities with.

1109
00:52:37,080 --> 00:52:38,000
Speaker 4: The girls, et cetera.

1110
00:52:38,200 --> 00:52:42,240
Speaker 2: We have four children, and my husband's sister has five,

1111
00:52:42,480 --> 00:52:45,600
Speaker 2: two step children and three of her own his sister's

1112
00:52:45,640 --> 00:52:50,360
Speaker 2: bio children have always been the favorite grandchildren of my

1113
00:52:50,480 --> 00:52:53,600
Speaker 2: mother in law because she states that they need her

1114
00:52:53,719 --> 00:52:56,960
Speaker 2: more as they do not have fathers in their life,

1115
00:52:57,400 --> 00:53:00,799
Speaker 2: even though they have stepfather, so she has always spent

1116
00:53:00,920 --> 00:53:05,400
Speaker 2: more money on them, paid for their extracurriculars, and buys

1117
00:53:05,440 --> 00:53:09,560
Speaker 2: them basically whatever they want. We notice, as do our children,

1118
00:53:10,080 --> 00:53:13,200
Speaker 2: but we let it go. Usually, three weeks of talking

1119
00:53:13,200 --> 00:53:16,240
Speaker 2: about my niece's birthday party go by, and the weekend

1120
00:53:16,360 --> 00:53:19,440
Speaker 2: of the birthday comes. This was also the week of

1121
00:53:19,480 --> 00:53:22,960
Speaker 2: our daughter's drama play and the weekend of our daughter's

1122
00:53:23,040 --> 00:53:26,399
Speaker 2: dance recital. Mother in law promised she would be there

1123
00:53:26,440 --> 00:53:30,440
Speaker 2: for both and put it in her calendar numerous months ahead.

1124
00:53:30,560 --> 00:53:33,160
Speaker 2: The night of our daughter's drama play was also the

1125
00:53:33,280 --> 00:53:37,680
Speaker 2: night of niece's actual birthday. I mentioned this numerous times,

1126
00:53:37,840 --> 00:53:40,520
Speaker 2: but mother in law insisted she would still be there.

1127
00:53:40,719 --> 00:53:45,080
Speaker 2: She did not attend, which I expected because she went

1128
00:53:45,120 --> 00:53:48,520
Speaker 2: to the dinner and had cake with niece. Saturday morning

1129
00:53:48,600 --> 00:53:51,719
Speaker 2: rolls around and it is the day of my daughter's recital.

1130
00:53:52,320 --> 00:53:55,080
Speaker 2: She calls mother in law to ask her if today

1131
00:53:55,160 --> 00:53:58,120
Speaker 2: is the day of niece's party. Because she had all

1132
00:53:58,120 --> 00:54:01,000
Speaker 2: of a sudden stopped mentioning it. Mother in law states

1133
00:54:01,120 --> 00:54:04,640
Speaker 2: that niece decided she is no longer having a birthday

1134
00:54:04,680 --> 00:54:08,000
Speaker 2: party and that she is just going to go on

1135
00:54:08,040 --> 00:54:11,360
Speaker 2: a shopping spray instead. She also states that she will

1136
00:54:11,360 --> 00:54:14,360
Speaker 2: not be coming to the recital as she decided to

1137
00:54:14,400 --> 00:54:17,840
Speaker 2: pick up a shift at work. My daughter's disappointed, but

1138
00:54:18,000 --> 00:54:21,960
Speaker 2: says okay and gets ready for her recital. After recital,

1139
00:54:22,280 --> 00:54:25,040
Speaker 2: I decide to bring my kids all to our local

1140
00:54:25,120 --> 00:54:29,239
Speaker 2: trampoline park. They have passes there and wanted to go

1141
00:54:29,360 --> 00:54:32,759
Speaker 2: to glow. We were there about twenty minutes, and then,

1142
00:54:32,880 --> 00:54:37,840
Speaker 2: to our surprise, who shows up mother in law, sister

1143
00:54:37,960 --> 00:54:42,279
Speaker 2: in law, and numerous girls that niece had invited to

1144
00:54:42,400 --> 00:54:46,319
Speaker 2: her birthday sleepover. I asked one of my friends if

1145
00:54:46,360 --> 00:54:49,440
Speaker 2: sister in law had posted anything about a birthday sleepover,

1146
00:54:50,080 --> 00:54:53,960
Speaker 2: and lo and behold, she did decorations, a themed cake,

1147
00:54:54,160 --> 00:54:57,439
Speaker 2: et cetera, all set up for her sleepover, and there

1148
00:54:57,480 --> 00:55:00,920
Speaker 2: she was with all of the guests she invited. My

1149
00:55:01,040 --> 00:55:03,839
Speaker 2: daughter was immediately hurt and upset by this.

1150
00:55:04,000 --> 00:55:05,759
Speaker 5: I'm immediately hurt and upset about this.

1151
00:55:05,840 --> 00:55:09,440
Speaker 2: I'm crushed for your daughter and walked past mother in

1152
00:55:09,480 --> 00:55:12,880
Speaker 2: law without speaking to her. Mother in law has the

1153
00:55:13,040 --> 00:55:15,600
Speaker 2: nerve to walk up to me and mention that my

1154
00:55:15,800 --> 00:55:19,080
Speaker 2: daughter walked past her without even saying hello.

1155
00:55:20,920 --> 00:55:22,960
Speaker 5: Hello, Hey, hey mother in law.

1156
00:55:23,000 --> 00:55:23,280
Speaker 4: Hello.

1157
00:55:23,360 --> 00:55:25,520
Speaker 2: You remember when you had the nerve to lie to

1158
00:55:25,840 --> 00:55:29,240
Speaker 2: her on the phone about having a party and missing

1159
00:55:29,320 --> 00:55:31,520
Speaker 2: her recital this morning? Yeah, I think she can walk

1160
00:55:31,600 --> 00:55:33,640
Speaker 2: right past you if she wants to. I said, yes,

1161
00:55:33,960 --> 00:55:36,880
Speaker 2: that's because you told her this morning that niece was

1162
00:55:36,960 --> 00:55:40,279
Speaker 2: no longer having a party, and she clearly is. She

1163
00:55:40,480 --> 00:55:43,280
Speaker 2: acts as though she has no clue what I'm talking about,

1164
00:55:43,680 --> 00:55:46,239
Speaker 2: even after I show her the post sister in law

1165
00:55:46,280 --> 00:55:49,040
Speaker 2: had put up with all of her decorations, et cetera

1166
00:55:49,280 --> 00:55:51,640
Speaker 2: that mother in law I am sure paid for. As

1167
00:55:51,680 --> 00:55:54,360
Speaker 2: she always does, she just walks away and does not

1168
00:55:54,480 --> 00:55:58,280
Speaker 2: say another word. Months go by without hearing a single

1169
00:55:58,320 --> 00:56:01,520
Speaker 2: word from her so far. Finally, my husband and I

1170
00:56:01,600 --> 00:56:04,160
Speaker 2: reach out and explain that she really hurt my daughter's

1171
00:56:04,160 --> 00:56:07,680
Speaker 2: feelings and that we feel she deserves an apology for

1172
00:56:07,880 --> 00:56:11,279
Speaker 2: lying blatantly to her and then showing up with a

1173
00:56:11,280 --> 00:56:12,880
Speaker 2: party of girls to rub.

1174
00:56:12,800 --> 00:56:13,640
Speaker 4: It in her face.

1175
00:56:13,880 --> 00:56:17,759
Speaker 2: She refuses and says she did nothing wrong and that

1176
00:56:17,800 --> 00:56:21,680
Speaker 2: she had no clue about the party, even though she

1177
00:56:21,840 --> 00:56:24,560
Speaker 2: was with them. We tell her that unless she can

1178
00:56:24,600 --> 00:56:28,320
Speaker 2: apologize for hurting my daughter's feelings, we don't have anything

1179
00:56:28,400 --> 00:56:31,640
Speaker 2: left to discuss. We attempt one more time to reach

1180
00:56:31,680 --> 00:56:35,399
Speaker 2: out and say the same thing numerous months later, and

1181
00:56:35,640 --> 00:56:38,879
Speaker 2: the story remains the same. She did nothing wrong and

1182
00:56:39,160 --> 00:56:42,800
Speaker 2: she will not apologize to our daughter for hurting her feelings.

1183
00:56:42,880 --> 00:56:46,640
Speaker 2: Our daughter was nine at the time. My husband says

1184
00:56:46,800 --> 00:56:50,440
Speaker 2: that she has done similar things to him his entire life.

1185
00:56:50,480 --> 00:56:53,840
Speaker 2: When his parents split, he lived with his dad and grandma,

1186
00:56:54,040 --> 00:56:57,080
Speaker 2: and other siblings lived with mom. One example that he

1187
00:56:57,080 --> 00:57:00,640
Speaker 2: brings up many times is on one occasion, mother in law,

1188
00:57:00,960 --> 00:57:04,759
Speaker 2: his brother, sister, and stepfather all showed up to his

1189
00:57:04,800 --> 00:57:09,360
Speaker 2: grandmother's house in a helicopter ride to see him, but

1190
00:57:09,480 --> 00:57:12,279
Speaker 2: did not invite him on the ride, just one of

1191
00:57:12,360 --> 00:57:15,759
Speaker 2: many examples. He says that he is just used to it,

1192
00:57:15,840 --> 00:57:17,920
Speaker 2: but now that is his child. He says, she deserves

1193
00:57:17,960 --> 00:57:21,440
Speaker 2: an apology, even if not to admit her wrongdoings, but

1194
00:57:21,680 --> 00:57:24,840
Speaker 2: to acknowledge that she hurt our daughter's feeling. The only

1195
00:57:24,920 --> 00:57:27,959
Speaker 2: catch is that I can tell it really upsets him

1196
00:57:28,040 --> 00:57:31,400
Speaker 2: that his relationship with his mother and sister are basically

1197
00:57:31,480 --> 00:57:32,919
Speaker 2: nonexistent at this time.

1198
00:57:33,000 --> 00:57:34,160
Speaker 4: Should I encourage him.

1199
00:57:34,080 --> 00:57:37,080
Speaker 2: To let it go, or should I keep these boundaries

1200
00:57:37,120 --> 00:57:40,160
Speaker 2: remaining until she can apologize to our daughter And to

1201
00:57:40,240 --> 00:57:44,200
Speaker 2: add we still remain speaking to his stepfather, as he

1202
00:57:44,280 --> 00:57:46,560
Speaker 2: is not in good health and truly did not know

1203
00:57:46,720 --> 00:57:49,760
Speaker 2: anything of this event. He has briefly moved out from

1204
00:57:49,760 --> 00:57:52,600
Speaker 2: mother in law's house, but is now moved back in,

1205
00:57:52,840 --> 00:57:56,160
Speaker 2: and I know that it guilts my husband tremendously that

1206
00:57:56,200 --> 00:57:58,960
Speaker 2: we do not see him very often and he does

1207
00:57:59,000 --> 00:58:01,560
Speaker 2: not have a lot of time I'm left. He cannot drive,

1208
00:58:02,000 --> 00:58:04,600
Speaker 2: and we are very busy with the four children, so

1209
00:58:04,720 --> 00:58:06,680
Speaker 2: it's hard to swing by and pick him up for

1210
00:58:06,760 --> 00:58:09,400
Speaker 2: things versus when we used to spend time over there

1211
00:58:09,440 --> 00:58:11,640
Speaker 2: for Sunday dinners or different things.

1212
00:58:11,800 --> 00:58:12,600
Speaker 4: We have an update.

1213
00:58:12,760 --> 00:58:16,240
Speaker 2: Wow, I didn't expect anyone to reply, let alone almost

1214
00:58:16,360 --> 00:58:19,280
Speaker 2: thirty people in an hour. I'm not sure why people

1215
00:58:19,320 --> 00:58:22,400
Speaker 2: are asking me if I am mentally okay. I tend

1216
00:58:22,400 --> 00:58:25,000
Speaker 2: to let my emotions get the best of me sometimes,

1217
00:58:25,200 --> 00:58:27,840
Speaker 2: and while I thought this incident was a big deal,

1218
00:58:28,000 --> 00:58:31,520
Speaker 2: and so did my husband, we are very overprotective of

1219
00:58:31,560 --> 00:58:34,200
Speaker 2: our kids, and I wasn't sure if other people would

1220
00:58:34,240 --> 00:58:37,440
Speaker 2: agree or think we were being petty over something small

1221
00:58:37,560 --> 00:58:40,280
Speaker 2: or silly people who are saying he isn't sad that

1222
00:58:40,360 --> 00:58:43,200
Speaker 2: his mother isn't in his life are wrong. He is

1223
00:58:44,040 --> 00:58:46,400
Speaker 2: You're allowed to miss someone that you know may not

1224
00:58:46,440 --> 00:58:49,360
Speaker 2: be the best person. Though I do applaud him for

1225
00:58:49,440 --> 00:58:50,360
Speaker 2: breaking the cycle.

1226
00:58:50,400 --> 00:58:51,040
Speaker 4: As they say.

1227
00:58:51,160 --> 00:58:54,080
Speaker 2: Update two, I hear you all. You're disgusted that I

1228
00:58:54,120 --> 00:58:55,720
Speaker 2: would even consider such a thing.

1229
00:58:56,000 --> 00:58:56,800
Speaker 4: How dare I?

1230
00:58:57,080 --> 00:58:59,600
Speaker 2: Maybe it would make you more understanding of my feelings

1231
00:58:59,680 --> 00:59:02,240
Speaker 2: to know that I had a very similar relationship with

1232
00:59:02,280 --> 00:59:06,520
Speaker 2: my own grandparents and cousins. The favoritism followed us to adulthood,

1233
00:59:06,600 --> 00:59:10,200
Speaker 2: and it's very evident who they favored, and now they

1234
00:59:10,240 --> 00:59:14,080
Speaker 2: favored their children over mine and my sisters as well.

1235
00:59:14,200 --> 00:59:16,640
Speaker 2: While we have grown a part over the years, I

1236
00:59:16,720 --> 00:59:19,000
Speaker 2: still want to trade the memories I have with my

1237
00:59:19,040 --> 00:59:22,120
Speaker 2: grandparents or my cousins. I will say they never did

1238
00:59:22,240 --> 00:59:25,240
Speaker 2: anything so boldly mean to me or my sister that

1239
00:59:25,360 --> 00:59:26,680
Speaker 2: I knew of anyway.

1240
00:59:27,040 --> 00:59:29,360
Speaker 4: So I cannot fully compare situation.

1241
00:59:29,640 --> 00:59:33,400
Speaker 2: The favoritism was pretty obvious, though, But the truth is

1242
00:59:33,600 --> 00:59:36,200
Speaker 2: we have not had a relationship with sister in law

1243
00:59:36,280 --> 00:59:39,440
Speaker 2: for many years now, and mother in law was my

1244
00:59:39,600 --> 00:59:41,120
Speaker 2: kid's connection to their cousins.

1245
00:59:41,240 --> 00:59:42,280
Speaker 4: She was the source of.

1246
00:59:42,280 --> 00:59:46,240
Speaker 2: A holiday dinner for every holiday with cousins. She was

1247
00:59:46,480 --> 00:59:49,840
Speaker 2: very crafty and really fun sometimes. So yes, there are

1248
00:59:49,880 --> 00:59:52,080
Speaker 2: times I do wonder if it is more upsetting to

1249
00:59:52,160 --> 00:59:56,160
Speaker 2: lose those relationships entirely than to bury the hatchet on

1250
00:59:56,240 --> 00:59:59,120
Speaker 2: this incident to try and move forward. I wonder, like,

1251
00:59:59,280 --> 01:00:02,560
Speaker 2: is there any way that you could surpass mother in law,

1252
01:00:03,280 --> 01:00:05,960
Speaker 2: like start reaching out to those cousins on your own, Like,

1253
01:00:06,120 --> 01:00:10,240
Speaker 2: is she truly she's controlling all those relationships? Is there

1254
01:00:10,280 --> 01:00:12,800
Speaker 2: a way to be like, hey, I'm just gonna go

1255
01:00:12,800 --> 01:00:15,640
Speaker 2: around mother in law. I'll text this cousin directly, Yeah,

1256
01:00:15,640 --> 01:00:17,600
Speaker 2: you want to hang out with my kids at the park,

1257
01:00:17,720 --> 01:00:18,080
Speaker 2: let's go.

1258
01:00:18,280 --> 01:00:20,440
Speaker 5: That should be I don't know why why does mother

1259
01:00:20,440 --> 01:00:22,800
Speaker 5: in law need like what do you need to so controlling? Yeah,

1260
01:00:23,000 --> 01:00:26,360
Speaker 5: but that's so crazy? Is she like does she how much?

1261
01:00:26,600 --> 01:00:28,480
Speaker 5: Is she the one who has all the money or

1262
01:00:28,520 --> 01:00:30,560
Speaker 5: something like that. I don't know. Like that the fact

1263
01:00:30,560 --> 01:00:31,240
Speaker 5: that like people.

1264
01:00:31,080 --> 01:00:33,640
Speaker 2: Are uproundaring a lot of her kids were just kind

1265
01:00:33,680 --> 01:00:34,800
Speaker 2: of raised in that.

1266
01:00:34,800 --> 01:00:38,160
Speaker 5: Like I mean, yeah, that's one case, but like, come on,

1267
01:00:38,320 --> 01:00:41,560
Speaker 5: we don't need we're adults here, we don't need approval

1268
01:00:41,840 --> 01:00:45,240
Speaker 5: or we need to go through this one person to

1269
01:00:45,320 --> 01:00:45,880
Speaker 5: do things.

1270
01:00:46,000 --> 01:00:48,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, so if you can, if you can go around

1271
01:00:48,360 --> 01:00:51,320
Speaker 2: and just hit up the cousins directly somehow, maybe is

1272
01:00:51,320 --> 01:00:54,120
Speaker 2: it harder to not have an entire set of grandparents

1273
01:00:54,200 --> 01:00:57,160
Speaker 2: and cousins at all, or to have them and know

1274
01:00:57,280 --> 01:01:00,160
Speaker 2: you are not their favorite? Maybe I am overthinking thing,

1275
01:01:00,360 --> 01:01:02,680
Speaker 2: but that is what I do. One thing is clear,

1276
01:01:02,920 --> 01:01:05,320
Speaker 2: and the more I hear everyone say it, the louder

1277
01:01:05,400 --> 01:01:06,560
Speaker 2: it brings true in my head.

1278
01:01:07,120 --> 01:01:08,840
Speaker 4: If she wanted to, she would.

1279
01:01:08,920 --> 01:01:11,560
Speaker 2: My husband says that the most hurtful thing out of

1280
01:01:12,000 --> 01:01:14,960
Speaker 2: all is that him and our daughter, as well as

1281
01:01:15,000 --> 01:01:18,400
Speaker 2: our other kids were that unimportant to her to keep

1282
01:01:18,480 --> 01:01:21,320
Speaker 2: in her life that she could not do one thing,

1283
01:01:21,600 --> 01:01:24,800
Speaker 2: and that is to simply apologize. So I'm going to

1284
01:01:24,880 --> 01:01:28,240
Speaker 2: accept that maybe I can't fix him being sad, and

1285
01:01:28,280 --> 01:01:31,160
Speaker 2: that it isn't my problem to fix. All I can

1286
01:01:31,200 --> 01:01:33,440
Speaker 2: do is be there to support him. But just to

1287
01:01:33,480 --> 01:01:36,480
Speaker 2: be clear, I was never going to force my husband

1288
01:01:36,520 --> 01:01:38,760
Speaker 2: to make amends that he did not want to make,

1289
01:01:39,040 --> 01:01:42,160
Speaker 2: and nor would I our children if they did not

1290
01:01:42,360 --> 01:01:45,760
Speaker 2: want the relationship either. I simply was considering if I

1291
01:01:45,800 --> 01:01:48,080
Speaker 2: should give my blessing if he chose to open that

1292
01:01:48,120 --> 01:01:49,920
Speaker 2: door himself. That's the end of that story,