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Speaker 1: I just realized we've been talking for forty five minutes

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Speaker 1: before I just pressed record.

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Speaker 2: Well, none of it's recordable.

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Speaker 1: Definitely not recordable.

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Speaker 2: But it was like a FaceTime but.

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Speaker 1: Over Zoom, like face time. What do you mean?

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Speaker 2: I was like, we I mean we were just talking here,

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Speaker 2: but like, yeah, basically we were just like talking on

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Speaker 2: the phone, but over Zoom alling each other on Zoom,

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Speaker 2: like zoom coming in from Kelly?

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Speaker 1: Does it work that way? I thought you had to

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Speaker 1: log in.

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Speaker 2: I think you have to log in.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: It was like if Zoom were smart, they would, you know,

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Speaker 2: try and compete with face time.

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Speaker 1: Ah that feature. I feel like Zoom's doing all right.

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Speaker 2: I think they're doing okay, But maybe the Android folks

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Speaker 2: could use something like that since they don't have.

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Speaker 1: To wow, really targeting as Android listeners. Did you want

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Speaker 1: to tell the people how you feel about green text

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Speaker 1: while we're at it?

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Speaker 2: No, I don't want to lose followers. I was. I

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Speaker 2: watched this funny movie last night called The Blackening, and

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Speaker 2: it was there was a joke about the android charger

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Speaker 2: in there. People were like, we don't we don't support that.

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Speaker 1: What is that movie about.

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Speaker 2: It's about a group of friends that rent a cabin

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Speaker 2: and then realize that there you know, turns. It's like

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Speaker 2: a horror comedy.

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Speaker 1: Oh I hate that. Okay, Wow, it.

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Speaker 2: Tried really hard. I wanted to like it so much

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Speaker 2: more than I did. Yeah, but like they could who

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Speaker 2: the guy who wrote I think his name is Tim's story.

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Speaker 2: There were some things he just couldn't figure out how

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Speaker 2: to write his way out of, so he like created

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Speaker 2: ways that he cheated on some things, and it was

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Speaker 2: just like that was annoying, like telepathy, like friends. There

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Speaker 2: were moments there worst scenes where like you could hear,

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Speaker 2: which is kind of the idea is funny, but if

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Speaker 2: you use it more than once.

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Speaker 1: It's like the fact that this is being recorded right now.

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Speaker 2: Anyway.

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Speaker 1: Anyway, well, actually don't watch the Black because he didn't

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Speaker 1: just sell it at all.

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Speaker 2: Actually watch it after it's cheaper, because I paid twenty

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Speaker 2: dollars to rent it because that's how good I thought

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Speaker 2: it was going to be.

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Speaker 1: Oh wow, you had a high hopes. Yeah, well, you

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Speaker 1: know what they say about expectations.

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Speaker 2: I don't. What do you think.

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Speaker 1: The root cause of all issues in relationship?

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Speaker 2: Oh? Oh speaking of issues in relationship?

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Speaker 1: Oh well, he's like all right now, let's get to

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Speaker 1: it because I don't know we have like fifteen minutes

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Speaker 1: to record since we've just talked forever. Well, we are

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Speaker 1: talking about guts today. Guts is the theme of the month,

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Speaker 1: and you and I were like, you got to keep

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Speaker 1: it light though, this is the edge. And I said

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Speaker 1: to you, you know what, I have a story and

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Speaker 1: you were like, what's it about? And I said, well,

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Speaker 1: so I'm newly dating someone and he doesn't live in town,

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Speaker 1: and so you know, when we're seeing each other, we're

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Speaker 1: staying together, and there's you know, it's just like a

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Speaker 1: more exacerbated dating process. It's such an interesting thing, long

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Speaker 1: distance dating, because in like some ways, I've talked to

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Speaker 1: him more than I've talked to other people that I've

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Speaker 1: dated in town, like as far as timelines go, like

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Speaker 1: we talk all the time because we're like getting to

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Speaker 1: know each other, you know, and then when we see

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Speaker 1: each other, it's kind of like an intensive thing, like

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Speaker 1: we're like together all the time sort of feeling, but

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Speaker 1: like the we haven't seen each other that often because

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Speaker 1: it's new and so anyway, it's just interesting because you're like, wait,

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Speaker 1: how long have we been doing this? Like you don't

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Speaker 1: really have a concept because of the distance or whatever.

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Speaker 1: So right, right, in some ways you're really familiar, and

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Speaker 1: then in some ways you're really unfamiliar. And so anyway,

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Speaker 1: we've been adjusting to that and it's been a good

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Speaker 1: process for me, and I've enjoyed it and things like that.

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Speaker 1: But I was saying to you, he was here last time,

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Speaker 1: and we were talking, and somehow the conversation, Oh okay,

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry, let me start this over. We were talking

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Speaker 1: about friends of ours, and somehow the conversation kind of

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Speaker 1: shifted to when's the last time you pooped your pants?

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Speaker 1: Like he asked his friend group that and someone said, oh, god,

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Speaker 1: like six weeks ago actually, and so we were kind

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Speaker 1: of talking about that, dying laughing. We're having the funniest conversation.

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Speaker 1: But you know, in a new relationship, poop is not

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Speaker 1: necessarily a topic.

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Speaker 2: It's something that you like actively like actually.

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Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah. So like I'm like awkwardly

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Speaker 1: laughing ha ha yeah right exactly, almost acting like I

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Speaker 1: don't know what poop is because you're just in that

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Speaker 1: weird like is this going to bring up uncomfortable things?

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Speaker 1: And so the conversation switch. We like moved onto something else.

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Speaker 1: Then later it came back up and he says to me,

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Speaker 1: have you ever pooped your pants?

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Speaker 2: Oh?

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Speaker 1: I proceed to tell him story where I did. I

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Speaker 1: had a stomach bug, you know, thought there was some

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Speaker 1: gas coming out whatever. It ended up not being gased.

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Speaker 1: That was really uncomfortable. Then I say to him, have

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Speaker 1: you ever done that? He tells me a story of

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Speaker 1: him doing that. So we're just like exchanging stories back

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Speaker 1: and forth and dying laughing, like I probably haven't laughed

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Speaker 1: long that hard and so long I can't even remember.

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Speaker 1: It was like twenty minutes straight of I was just

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Speaker 1: talking about this, and then it happened. He confesses that

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Speaker 1: every day he's been leaving the house. At some point,

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Speaker 1: I was thinking he was going to his friend's house

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Speaker 1: to swim laps, and he says, he's been going to

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Speaker 1: his friend's house to use the bathroom number two.

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Speaker 2: Well, had it not crossed your mind? I knew.

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Speaker 1: I knew that that's what was going on. Yeah, I

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Speaker 1: totally knew. I was like, oh my god, well, when

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Speaker 1: he's over there, he's doing it. But the other thing

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Speaker 1: is is also when he was over there, I was

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Speaker 1: doing it. It was kind of like, well, this is

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Speaker 1: you know, fine, he's got somewhere to go anyway to

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Speaker 1: like go work out, and he just takes care of

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Speaker 1: it while he's there, and it gives me the freedom

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Speaker 1: to not have to cross that bridge, like you know,

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Speaker 1: eventually you're gonna have to, but like I just was like,

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Speaker 1: all right, well, we're just not to the place where

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Speaker 1: we have to yet, Like that's come up. So anyway,

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Speaker 1: I mean when he made that confession, I literally almost

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Speaker 1: peed in my pants. I was laughing so hard. My

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Speaker 1: stomach was like you know that kind of laughing when

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Speaker 1: you're laughing and it's like silent and you're belly laughing.

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Speaker 1: You're just like going back and forth. And I was like, no,

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Speaker 1: I knew, I knew. And then we're like dying laughing

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Speaker 1: that we both are operating in this like sleuth state

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Speaker 1: about this, you know, and it's kind of just ridiculous,

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Speaker 1: Like we're in our forties here and we're acting like

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Speaker 1: this is just the worst thing ever. But it's so

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Speaker 1: difficult at the beginning of the relationship because like the

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Speaker 1: beginning is the the fun, the sexy, the like you're

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Speaker 1: getting to know each other, but also everything is a

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Speaker 1: little bit surface, and you're showing up as your best

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Speaker 1: self and you want the other person to think you're hot, right, right, right,

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Speaker 1: So what's the quickest way to not be hot?

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Speaker 2: Poop exactly? I Mean, look, there's some people might argue

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Speaker 2: that they're into that.

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Speaker 1: But that's a good point across the board.

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Speaker 2: It's, you know, generally a taboo subject, especially in the

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Speaker 2: beginning of a relationship. I even like, I'll announce like

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Speaker 2: I gotta go pee, like even if I have to

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Speaker 2: poop forty seven years old, Like, and I don't even

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Speaker 2: mean in a relationship, like, look if I have to.

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Speaker 1: How many people do you tell you have to pee

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Speaker 1: a day?

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Speaker 2: Though, sometimes I'm like, I got to pee. I mean

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Speaker 2: I'll say that even if it's the truth too. You know,

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Speaker 2: it's like every time I say I'm going to pee,

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Speaker 2: doesn't mean I'm going to poop.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna say every time you go to the bathroom,

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Speaker 1: I'm like just pooping, just poop in.

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Speaker 2: But you know what's funny is my so I have nieces, yeah,

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Speaker 2: and one of them six, and it's it's funny because

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Speaker 2: as a kid, you're so open about it. You're like,

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Speaker 2: I just pooped or it's like or like my sister

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Speaker 2: will say to my niece, like, do you have to poop?

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Speaker 2: And she'll be like, yes, I have to poop, And

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Speaker 2: it's like so open. At what point is it something

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Speaker 2: that like they're becomes shame? And I think it is,

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Speaker 2: like when you start to care about what other people

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Speaker 2: think about you, has to be it's at that point

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Speaker 2: for you. I think that's when hormones start.

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Speaker 1: Yes, like when you get interested in dating.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I think that's when it really shit.

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Speaker 1: It has to be. I also think we probably observe

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Speaker 1: the adults in our life and like it's the same

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Speaker 1: thing I used to say this like when I was

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Speaker 1: in my last relationship there was two kids involved, and

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Speaker 1: so like it actually made me to really start to

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Speaker 1: think what kind of programming I was like pushing on

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Speaker 1: them based on the arena I had gotten, Like, and

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Speaker 1: this goes for Like I was talking about things like

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Speaker 1: botox and extensions and all that stuff, but like when

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Speaker 1: it came to pooping, I tried to normalize that with

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Speaker 1: them because I was like, everybody does it, Like it's

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Speaker 1: just we don't need to be worried about this or whatever,

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Speaker 1: because you start to realize at such a young age,

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Speaker 1: they're being taught that it's something we should be ashamed of, right, right,

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Speaker 1: And the reality is is like, if you're not pooping,

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Speaker 1: is actually the problem, like something's wrong with you? Then

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Speaker 1: you know healthy, Oh it's not healthy, And so hopefully

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Speaker 1: you are, hopefully everyone out there listening is pooping on

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Speaker 1: a daily basis.

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Speaker 2: But it's a funny word too, by the way, I

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Speaker 2: just really a lot. Yeah, it's also like weird if

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Speaker 2: you're like using formal words for poop.

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Speaker 1: Or if you're saying taking a shit like how.

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Speaker 2: Gross, or having a bowel movement.

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Speaker 1: Like ew, that's just gonna be cringe. So when I

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Speaker 1: told you about this story that had happened in my life,

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Speaker 1: you said, oh god, yeah, I've been there. So did

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Speaker 1: you to share with the listeners?

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Speaker 2: All, I think there's one that I've already told, which

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Speaker 2: maybe I'll tell again, but you know, in my current

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Speaker 2: I mean, I've got a second story too, because I'm

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Speaker 2: now in a relationship and we went on we had

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Speaker 2: been dating for just a little over a month when

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Speaker 2: we went to the Bahamas and a room. Yeah, and

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Speaker 2: we were sharing a room for the first time, So

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Speaker 2: I mean we'd spent the night at each other's houses.

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Speaker 2: But it's like yeah, And so we get to the

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Speaker 2: hotel and it's beautiful and we we walk in and

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Speaker 2: it's basically one room, you know, one big room. There's

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Speaker 2: the well, Like the bathroom has like this door that

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Speaker 2: like disappears into the wall and they have it wide

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Speaker 2: open so that it's one big space, and the shower

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Speaker 2: and the toilet are in these glass doors that basically

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Speaker 2: face the bed. G Yeah, I mean they're like fuzzy

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Speaker 2: glass that you can't see through, but yeah, that's not

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Speaker 2: an that's not enough privacy. So it was like instantaneously

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Speaker 2: where we're like, well, whoever has to poop first is

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Speaker 2: gonna have to like go and like slide that door

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Speaker 2: closed and be like yeah, privacy. And it's also you

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Speaker 2: know you're in sort of it's there's lots of tile.

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Speaker 2: It's a cavernous room, like so we had at first,

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Speaker 2: I was like I'm going downstairs to the lobby and

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Speaker 2: I was like, you know what, No, I'm not going

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Speaker 2: to do that. I'm like, we're going to turn the

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Speaker 2: TV on. There's gonna be noise, and we're just gonna

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Speaker 2: have to get past this because there is no reason

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Speaker 2: to be embarrassed that you have to you know, like

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Speaker 2: you're actually doing.

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Speaker 1: Did you say all of this stuff to him?

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Speaker 2: Oh? We ended up having like real were laughing about that. Okay,

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Speaker 2: we were.

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Speaker 1: Laughing absolutely talk There is no reason in this now.

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Speaker 2: I don't think. I don't think I phrased it that way,

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Speaker 2: but it was just like, I mean, why are we

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Speaker 2: acting like we're He's fifty, I'm forty seven, right of course, up, yes,

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Speaker 2: oh my god, it's happening. I think I'm about to

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Speaker 2: poop for the first time ever at.

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Speaker 1: The age of fifty, right Like.

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Speaker 2: No, yeah, so I've not we had to overcome, you know,

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Speaker 2: and now it's like now it's a joke. We still

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Speaker 2: joke about it, you know. But I think it's that

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Speaker 2: still comes from that like internal shame around it, Like

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Speaker 2: you know, it's I think if you're in the same building,

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Speaker 2: it makes it more shameful. But I might like be like, hey, hey,

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna be late. I've got a ship, Like I

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Speaker 2: might send that text and I wouldn't think twice about

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Speaker 2: sending that now, you know. Yeah, but it's still like

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Speaker 2: I'm not like, hey, I'm gonna go poop.

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Speaker 1: No, you're like, I'm gonna go pee. I gotta be

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Speaker 1: that every time you say that, now that that means

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Speaker 1: you might also poop. Might I think it's like there's

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Speaker 1: a smell, there's a sound. Those are the reasons it's

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Speaker 1: more embarrassing than peeing, obviously, but it's also very natural.

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Speaker 1: I knew though, I was like, this is not. This

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Speaker 1: to me feels like a universal problem, Like I feel

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Speaker 1: like everyone listening has gone through this exact thing in

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Speaker 1: a relationship at one point or another. There was the

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Speaker 1: moment where you're like, oh no, I think the hotel

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Speaker 1: room is a very big moment for new couples because

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Speaker 1: there's really not escaping like traveling for the first time,

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Speaker 1: because you could escape it in real life, like you

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Speaker 1: were saying, like, even if you start staying with someone,

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Speaker 1: you go somewhere else, you go back to your house.

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Speaker 1: You like kind of figured it out. But when you

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Speaker 1: start the traveling piece, that's when shit gets real. If

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Speaker 1: you will you know.

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Speaker 2: Well also too, because you don't even know what your

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Speaker 2: options are, Like well right, right, I mean, God forbid,

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Speaker 2: you hold it so long. You get in the elevator

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Speaker 2: and got onto the lobby and you shit your pants,

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Speaker 2: because then you're dealing with something that's like far more embarrassing.

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Speaker 1: Exactly. Yeah, sometimes when I've first been in relationships, I've

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Speaker 1: like held it in and then gotten constipated, do you

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Speaker 1: know what I mean? Like you kind of create the

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Speaker 1: other issue within yourself and that's not good either. So anyway,

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Speaker 1: I knew this was a universal problem, so I googled

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Speaker 1: it and I was like, what are the people out

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Speaker 1: there saying? I found this article though, that I thought

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Speaker 1: was pretty funny, and it's tips. It's directed at girls

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Speaker 1: doing a number two at your boyfriend's place. Every Girl's guide,

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Speaker 1: like this is a full blog about how to do this,

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Speaker 1: but I actually think it can work for guys too,

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Speaker 1: So I was gonna read through some of these because

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Speaker 1: I think they're kind of funny. And this is like

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Speaker 1: so ridiculous. But anyway, she says, Number one, Timing is everything, honestly,

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Speaker 1: like huge. You know. It's like if your man's running

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Speaker 1: out to grab chips from a corner store, taking a

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Speaker 1: smoke break, running downstairs to flip his laundry, that's the time,

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Speaker 1: like wait, wait, and if you can wait, she says,

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Speaker 1: until he's already used the bathroom. So like you won't

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Speaker 1: risk him going in after you. That's the time. But

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Speaker 1: can you control yours that much?

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Speaker 2: It depends I feel.

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Speaker 1: Like you can. Can you people command?

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Speaker 2: No? No? Can people do that?

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Speaker 1: Just I don't know. I just like feel like if

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Speaker 1: I hold it in until he's running out to take

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Speaker 1: out the trash, there's a chance then that I wouldn't

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Speaker 1: be able to do it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, like you might miss your moment, right, Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I think it depends on how badly you need

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Speaker 2: to go.

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Speaker 1: That's true. You talked about this one. This this tip

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Speaker 1: is hide the noise. So you said you turn music one.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I turned the television on and music.

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Speaker 1: I think that's smart because that's the thing in my house,

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Speaker 1: Like my house is really quiet and it's old, so

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Speaker 1: like you can kind of hear it through the walls

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Speaker 1: and stuff. And you know what the worst part is,

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Speaker 1: there's no vent in the bathroom. Oh to me, I'm

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Speaker 1: like shots fired. I should probably try to get one installed,

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Speaker 1: But it's like.

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Speaker 2: That, yeah, or light a light a candle in like

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Speaker 2: in your living room and in the bathroom.

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Speaker 1: I'm actually being the event for noise though.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, she.

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Speaker 1: Said run some water. That's The other thing is, though,

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Speaker 1: they're going to know what you're doing in there.

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Speaker 2: Yeah water, Yeah, that's that's a shirtell sign. I've done

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Speaker 2: that trick too.

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Speaker 1: Right, you really sure? Did you trick them?

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Speaker 2: Or?

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Speaker 1: Oh okay, this is a hilarious one to me. Make

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Speaker 1: a quote unquote basket. Another way to get comfortable in

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Speaker 1: the bathroom is by making a carefully crafted basket or

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Speaker 1: quote unquote raft for your leavings to lay on. It

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Speaker 1: sounds gross because it kind of is, but it works,

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Speaker 1: and that's all that that's important. Carefully laid so stream,

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Speaker 1: carefully lay down toilet paper in the bowl until it

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Speaker 1: makes a raft in the water. This will catch your

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Speaker 1: droppings and mask the noises without you having to flush

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Speaker 1: a million times. Just be careful not to clog the toilet, right.

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Speaker 2: Well, it also prevents it probably helps prevent streaking the

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Speaker 2: toilet too. Well.

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Speaker 1: If you're courtesy flushing, though, you shouldn't streak the toilet.

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Speaker 1: But yes, I guess so. The problem with the basket

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Speaker 1: idea to me is then it's just sitting there and

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Speaker 1: it smells things upwards.

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Speaker 2: Right. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: The thing about the courtesy flush is it gets rid

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Speaker 1: of it really fast.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and that, like the courtesy flush also causes a vacuum, right,

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Speaker 2: it pulls air in at the same time, so I

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Speaker 2: think it helps with the smell.

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Speaker 1: I agree. I think it's like it gets it out

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Speaker 1: of there.

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Speaker 2: Also, matches really help because the smell is a gas

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Speaker 2: and it burns the gas.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, oh wow, look at you, not just.

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Speaker 2: The like obviously the match also like then leaves the

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Speaker 2: smell of a burnt match, but it does like burn

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Speaker 2: off the gas in the air. It helps.

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Speaker 1: Just in case you guys are into science, right, that's

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Speaker 1: your scientific tip for the day. Take a shower. She

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00:17:54,440 --> 00:17:56,440
Speaker 1: says it in quotes. That is always. If you can

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Speaker 1: time it up with having to take a shower, you're golden.

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Speaker 1: I feel, consider the risk and benefits of hiding the smell.

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Speaker 1: So you've done it, You flush, and you feel like

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Speaker 1: a whole new woman. But now you're not sure whether

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Speaker 1: you should try to hide the smell or not. How

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00:18:11,640 --> 00:18:13,840
Speaker 1: do you do it? You can open a window, light

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Speaker 1: a match, spray some air freshener, or turn on your sensy.

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Speaker 1: I don't know what that is, but all the above

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Speaker 1: would risk him finding out that you're trying to hide something.

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Speaker 1: So we're still operating that he doesn't know what you're

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Speaker 1: doing in there. This one, she says, just laugh it off.

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00:18:27,640 --> 00:18:34,920
Speaker 1: I think that's probably a good choice. Let's just pro sorry, Uh,

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00:18:35,119 --> 00:18:39,960
Speaker 1: don't ask, don't tell. Like actually, that's how I typically operate.

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Speaker 1: Like if they go in and do it and you

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Speaker 1: come out, it's like you know what they were doing

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Speaker 1: in there, Like I knew every day when he was leaving.

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Speaker 1: That's part of what he was doing while he was gone.

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Speaker 1: But I'm not going to be like, so, did you

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Speaker 1: poop while you're gone?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, how's your how is your bowel movement this morn.

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00:19:00,520 --> 00:19:02,600
Speaker 1: She's just the other one, she says, is just be

379
00:19:02,720 --> 00:19:05,840
Speaker 1: open about it, but warn him to stay back. If

380
00:19:05,840 --> 00:19:08,720
Speaker 1: you're on vacation and you're freaking out about the bathroom situation,

381
00:19:09,600 --> 00:19:11,360
Speaker 1: you need to be open with your guy, whether at

382
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Speaker 1: home or on a trip. You need to tell him

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Speaker 1: that you're going to have your alone time now, and

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00:19:15,840 --> 00:19:18,680
Speaker 1: you better not count minutes, listen for sounds, or go

385
00:19:18,800 --> 00:19:20,120
Speaker 1: in there after you.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, there's so many there's so many tactics

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00:19:26,760 --> 00:19:30,000
Speaker 2: that we can do to mask it. But I think

388
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Speaker 2: being honest, look, I don't think you need to like

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00:19:33,359 --> 00:19:37,600
Speaker 2: just say, hey, you know, that was a really fun dinner.

390
00:19:37,640 --> 00:19:40,280
Speaker 2: I'm gonna go take a dup right now. Like, but

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Speaker 2: I think that I think the best one is, honestly

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00:19:42,440 --> 00:19:46,280
Speaker 2: that don't ask, don't tell, Like it doesn't need to be.

393
00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:50,879
Speaker 2: It doesn't have to be part of the conversation. And

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Speaker 2: I think part of the problem with it becoming part

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Speaker 2: of the conversation is that sometimes and it's always the

396
00:19:57,560 --> 00:20:00,399
Speaker 2: conversation because it's like an inside joke and it's like,

397
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Speaker 2: you don't need to be talking about your poop all

398
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Speaker 2: the time.

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Speaker 1: See. I feel like the next time I'm around the

400
00:20:05,040 --> 00:20:07,240
Speaker 1: person i'm seeing, it's gonna be like, Okay, I gotta

401
00:20:07,280 --> 00:20:09,480
Speaker 1: go to the bathroom now I make a joke about

402
00:20:09,480 --> 00:20:12,600
Speaker 1: it because we had such a laughing fast about it.

403
00:20:12,720 --> 00:20:17,120
Speaker 1: This time, I'll report back to you guys. Yeah, yeah,

404
00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:19,720
Speaker 1: did you want to tell a story that you may

405
00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:21,840
Speaker 1: have told before? But like this was so long ago

406
00:20:21,880 --> 00:20:24,159
Speaker 1: that if we have any new listeners, I really do

407
00:20:24,200 --> 00:20:25,320
Speaker 1: feel like it's worth the while.

408
00:20:25,480 --> 00:20:27,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, this is a good one. So I

409
00:20:27,480 --> 00:20:30,520
Speaker 2: was newly in a relationship and I hadn't spent the

410
00:20:30,600 --> 00:20:35,280
Speaker 2: night at his house hat and I hadn't pooped at

411
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Speaker 2: his house hat either nor he at mine and or

412
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Speaker 2: for as all as well as I know, and I

413
00:20:42,960 --> 00:20:46,440
Speaker 2: had been over at his house and I guess we

414
00:20:46,520 --> 00:20:48,480
Speaker 2: like watched TV or movie or something, and we'd ordered

415
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Speaker 2: dinner and it was late. I lived in Los Angeles

416
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Speaker 2: at the time, and we lived about twenty twenty five

417
00:20:54,160 --> 00:20:56,520
Speaker 2: minutes apart from each other. Yeah, it was late. I

418
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Speaker 2: think it was like two o'clock in the morning on

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Speaker 2: a week night, and I was like, I gotta go home.

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Speaker 2: And because I had dogs and I, you know, I

421
00:21:05,520 --> 00:21:07,040
Speaker 2: need to go make sure that they were taken care of.

422
00:21:07,200 --> 00:21:10,359
Speaker 2: So I'm driving home and I'm like halfway between my

423
00:21:10,440 --> 00:21:14,119
Speaker 2: house and his house, and in that moment, my stomach

424
00:21:14,200 --> 00:21:18,760
Speaker 2: just went like agreeing with me. And it was like

425
00:21:19,840 --> 00:21:23,320
Speaker 2: you know that moment when you're in your car and

426
00:21:23,359 --> 00:21:25,480
Speaker 2: you're like, I don't think I'm gonna make it home,

427
00:21:25,600 --> 00:21:28,479
Speaker 2: and the closer you get to home, your body's like, oh,

428
00:21:28,520 --> 00:21:30,480
Speaker 2: you're getting close to home. You're getting close to home,

429
00:21:30,640 --> 00:21:33,560
Speaker 2: like evacuate now. And I was like, I'm not gonna

430
00:21:33,560 --> 00:21:35,040
Speaker 2: be able to make it home. I'm like halfway there,

431
00:21:35,080 --> 00:21:37,000
Speaker 2: and I was like start sweating, and I'm like, do

432
00:21:37,080 --> 00:21:39,720
Speaker 2: I turn around? And go run knock on his door

433
00:21:39,800 --> 00:21:42,040
Speaker 2: to him and be like move, I have to sit

434
00:21:42,400 --> 00:21:45,159
Speaker 2: like get out of the or do I just like

435
00:21:45,280 --> 00:21:49,840
Speaker 2: get race home? And in that moment, I'm like neither

436
00:21:49,840 --> 00:21:53,960
Speaker 2: of those are options, and so nothing is open. And

437
00:21:54,560 --> 00:21:56,439
Speaker 2: I turn off the main street that I'm on and

438
00:21:56,480 --> 00:21:58,679
Speaker 2: I like pull into like a neighborhood street, and I

439
00:21:58,720 --> 00:22:02,879
Speaker 2: had to get out of my car and I found

440
00:22:02,880 --> 00:22:05,919
Speaker 2: a storm drain and I just ship in the storm

441
00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:08,200
Speaker 2: drain and I thank god I had like a beach

442
00:22:08,280 --> 00:22:12,000
Speaker 2: towel in my trunk, and I mean, also thank god

443
00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:15,400
Speaker 2: this was before the ring camera existed, because I certainly.

444
00:22:15,800 --> 00:22:18,200
Speaker 1: God the neighbors.

445
00:22:17,880 --> 00:22:21,159
Speaker 2: The neighbors, and I had a towel so I was

446
00:22:21,160 --> 00:22:23,000
Speaker 2: able to clean up. It was trash night, so people's

447
00:22:23,040 --> 00:22:25,000
Speaker 2: trash cans were out. I threw the towel in a

448
00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:27,919
Speaker 2: trash can in my car and I started hading, and

449
00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:31,280
Speaker 2: like four minutes later, mustle I went and I was

450
00:22:31,400 --> 00:22:36,119
Speaker 2: and I literally out loud said no, God no. And

451
00:22:36,160 --> 00:22:38,960
Speaker 2: I had to find another like quiet street and pull

452
00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:40,119
Speaker 2: over and do it again. And I had a T

453
00:22:40,200 --> 00:22:42,919
Speaker 2: shirt in my trunk that I used, and I had

454
00:22:42,920 --> 00:22:44,240
Speaker 2: to throw that in a trash can.

455
00:22:45,040 --> 00:22:46,680
Speaker 1: Food poisoning, it.

456
00:22:46,640 --> 00:22:47,359
Speaker 2: Must have been.

457
00:22:47,680 --> 00:22:48,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's absurd.

458
00:22:49,520 --> 00:22:51,920
Speaker 2: I was. You know, it's funny because when we were

459
00:22:52,119 --> 00:22:54,720
Speaker 2: I was doing a little bit of research for this podcast,

460
00:22:54,800 --> 00:22:59,840
Speaker 2: and and it basically said, like this is kind of

461
00:23:00,080 --> 00:23:01,960
Speaker 2: rows as if.

462
00:23:01,880 --> 00:23:03,320
Speaker 1: The rest of that story was right.

463
00:23:03,440 --> 00:23:07,159
Speaker 2: Yeah, it said, if you eat something that looks like diarrhea,

464
00:23:07,200 --> 00:23:10,640
Speaker 2: you can probably expect to have a loose stool, so

465
00:23:10,840 --> 00:23:16,520
Speaker 2: like beans, like anything that's softed will come out that way.

466
00:23:18,119 --> 00:23:19,400
Speaker 1: Okay, I can't.

467
00:23:19,200 --> 00:23:22,040
Speaker 2: Say that this is fact, but after telling that story

468
00:23:22,040 --> 00:23:24,880
Speaker 2: and having read that, like the place that we used

469
00:23:24,880 --> 00:23:27,880
Speaker 2: to order from all the time that he loved had

470
00:23:27,880 --> 00:23:29,280
Speaker 2: Sloppy Joe's, And I wonder.

471
00:23:29,119 --> 00:23:38,000
Speaker 1: If the details now that I know about you storm

472
00:23:38,080 --> 00:23:40,280
Speaker 1: drained Sloppy Joe's and a storm drain.

473
00:23:40,440 --> 00:23:42,840
Speaker 2: I want to know anyone out there that witnessed it.

474
00:23:43,080 --> 00:23:47,080
Speaker 2: I hope not for my own embarrassment, Like I just

475
00:23:47,119 --> 00:23:48,400
Speaker 2: hope no one had to see that.

476
00:23:48,520 --> 00:23:51,919
Speaker 1: If there's anyone listening and you happened to witness it,

477
00:23:52,040 --> 00:23:56,400
Speaker 1: please send us an email at the edge at velvet com.

478
00:23:57,280 --> 00:23:59,399
Speaker 1: I would literally that would be it. I would be

479
00:23:59,440 --> 00:24:05,560
Speaker 1: deceived driving His license plate number was I don't.

480
00:24:05,320 --> 00:24:06,200
Speaker 2: Remember that, but.

481
00:24:08,200 --> 00:24:13,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, storm drain. I mean, that's the part to me.

482
00:24:13,920 --> 00:24:16,320
Speaker 1: I'm just like I always.

483
00:24:16,240 --> 00:24:18,399
Speaker 2: Other option would be like do it in someone's yard,

484
00:24:18,640 --> 00:24:20,840
Speaker 2: like at least then it was like not on the road.

485
00:24:20,920 --> 00:24:22,879
Speaker 2: It wasn't on the sidewalk.

486
00:24:22,520 --> 00:24:26,640
Speaker 1: Like it was. No, it was honestly so polite of you.

487
00:24:26,760 --> 00:24:30,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was like, He's like, how can.

488
00:24:30,080 --> 00:24:32,320
Speaker 1: I take a ship in someone's driveway in the most

489
00:24:32,359 --> 00:24:33,520
Speaker 1: considerate way?

490
00:24:35,359 --> 00:24:38,000
Speaker 2: And I was like backed up close to like it

491
00:24:38,040 --> 00:24:39,919
Speaker 2: was you know, I was the storm drain was like

492
00:24:39,960 --> 00:24:42,639
Speaker 2: between my car and the trash can. So it's like

493
00:24:42,680 --> 00:24:43,640
Speaker 2: I also was like.

494
00:24:43,960 --> 00:24:44,600
Speaker 1: A little private.

495
00:24:44,920 --> 00:24:48,960
Speaker 2: I thought I could be Oh God, if you would

496
00:24:48,960 --> 00:24:50,640
Speaker 2: have told me two years ago, I would be telling

497
00:24:50,640 --> 00:24:52,080
Speaker 2: this story on a podcast for.

498
00:24:52,080 --> 00:24:54,480
Speaker 1: The second time. This is the second time you told it.

499
00:24:54,480 --> 00:24:58,919
Speaker 1: It's like, I should write a book. You really should.

500
00:24:58,920 --> 00:25:01,439
Speaker 1: I would read it. I think the moral of the

501
00:25:01,480 --> 00:25:03,320
Speaker 1: story here, y'all is everybody poops.

502
00:25:03,640 --> 00:25:04,679
Speaker 2: Everyone poops.

503
00:25:04,960 --> 00:25:09,160
Speaker 1: If you have any stories of newly dating and having

504
00:25:09,200 --> 00:25:11,840
Speaker 1: this awkward conversation or with ways that you've tried to

505
00:25:11,880 --> 00:25:14,560
Speaker 1: sneak it. I feel like we've actually brought this up

506
00:25:14,560 --> 00:25:16,640
Speaker 1: before too. And there was someone who told me they

507
00:25:16,760 --> 00:25:19,280
Speaker 1: like through had to throw their clothes out the window

508
00:25:19,520 --> 00:25:22,040
Speaker 1: when they were first dating someone like it was just

509
00:25:22,560 --> 00:25:24,879
Speaker 1: I don't know anyway. If you guys have any funny stories,

510
00:25:24,880 --> 00:25:28,040
Speaker 1: please share them with us. It's the Edge at velvetsedge

511
00:25:28,119 --> 00:25:30,800
Speaker 1: dot com. You can also always hit me up on Instagram.

512
00:25:30,840 --> 00:25:32,640
Speaker 1: It's at Velvet's Edge.

513
00:25:32,800 --> 00:25:37,760
Speaker 2: Chip at chip Doors it's Chip D O R S CH.

514
00:25:38,960 --> 00:25:41,720
Speaker 1: As you guys are going into the weekend pooping all

515
00:25:41,720 --> 00:25:44,880
Speaker 1: along the way, I hope you always remember to live

516
00:25:45,080 --> 00:25:50,960
Speaker 1: now fuck, try to get clever as you're living on

517
00:25:51,040 --> 00:25:53,440
Speaker 1: the edge, pooping along the way. That's what I should

518
00:25:53,480 --> 00:25:58,720
Speaker 1: have said, you know now? Good God? All right anyway,

519
00:25:59,720 --> 00:26:03,679
Speaker 1: love you guys. Have you always remember to add casual

520
00:26:11,600 --> 00:26:12,000
Speaker 1: mm hmm