1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:04,360 Speaker 1: This is intergalactic John. This is Alien Sam on the 2 00:00:04,400 --> 00:00:09,280 Speaker 1: International Okay Storytime podcast station, and we have some human 3 00:00:09,400 --> 00:00:12,440 Speaker 1: stories coming up, not alien, but before we make a landing, 4 00:00:12,520 --> 00:00:15,520 Speaker 1: stick around for this two minute not alien ad break 5 00:00:15,640 --> 00:00:17,520 Speaker 1: before we get to these interstellar stories. 6 00:00:18,680 --> 00:00:21,239 Speaker 2: My sister in law disrespect to my wedding request. She 7 00:00:21,400 --> 00:00:24,680 Speaker 2: was asked to leave. You need to leave before we 8 00:00:24,720 --> 00:00:28,800 Speaker 2: get into my wonderful wedding day. Here's some backstory. I'm 9 00:00:28,800 --> 00:00:31,280 Speaker 2: the second child and baby in my family. While this 10 00:00:31,480 --> 00:00:34,520 Speaker 2: has its perks at first, it quickly became the worst. 11 00:00:34,560 --> 00:00:36,600 Speaker 2: And by the way, this comes from you, Dash No 12 00:00:36,720 --> 00:00:39,839 Speaker 2: Tastes thirteen eighty. If you want to submit your own stories, 13 00:00:39,880 --> 00:00:44,040 Speaker 2: go to Roka Storytimes, so Breddit. So my older brother 14 00:00:44,360 --> 00:00:48,479 Speaker 2: less his heart is considered golden and untouchable. He was favored, 15 00:00:48,600 --> 00:00:51,440 Speaker 2: I'm assuming, because they only wanted boys, and because of it, 16 00:00:51,520 --> 00:00:54,000 Speaker 2: he got all he wanted. I was totally fine with 17 00:00:54,040 --> 00:00:55,840 Speaker 2: that because that meant I was able to grow and 18 00:00:55,880 --> 00:00:59,240 Speaker 2: be my own person today. Sure, but I'm a wonderful, 19 00:00:59,280 --> 00:01:02,360 Speaker 2: lovely aunt. I've never missed a debate tournament. That being said, 20 00:01:02,400 --> 00:01:04,560 Speaker 2: here comes a problem. My brother has been in a 21 00:01:04,560 --> 00:01:08,600 Speaker 2: relationship with Lauren twenty six female for almost sevenish years. 22 00:01:09,040 --> 00:01:10,920 Speaker 2: They have stated that they don't want a wedding or 23 00:01:10,959 --> 00:01:13,360 Speaker 2: even to really get married, as they love their dynamic now, 24 00:01:13,400 --> 00:01:15,880 Speaker 2: which is great for them, but for me, I've had 25 00:01:15,880 --> 00:01:18,920 Speaker 2: my dream wedding plan for years. I met my now 26 00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:21,640 Speaker 2: husband three years ago and we got engaged a year ago. 27 00:01:22,160 --> 00:01:24,440 Speaker 2: We had known when we were getting married for a while, 28 00:01:24,480 --> 00:01:26,960 Speaker 2: and I knew he was going to propose before he did. 29 00:01:27,560 --> 00:01:30,040 Speaker 2: We had made a separate savings account specifically for our 30 00:01:30,120 --> 00:01:33,200 Speaker 2: dream wedding because we knew when we would want it. 31 00:01:33,720 --> 00:01:35,679 Speaker 2: When I came out with my engagement, it was clear 32 00:01:35,760 --> 00:01:37,959 Speaker 2: my brother and his girlfriend weren't happy with the attention 33 00:01:38,080 --> 00:01:40,960 Speaker 2: I was getting from our media and extended family. I 34 00:01:40,959 --> 00:01:43,440 Speaker 2: wouldn't say his jealousy was obvious, but looking back, it 35 00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:46,000 Speaker 2: was clear he was mad I would be getting married first. 36 00:01:46,319 --> 00:01:48,440 Speaker 2: But they said they never wanted to get married. 37 00:01:51,280 --> 00:01:54,760 Speaker 3: Why would you be jealous? Why are you making a problem? 38 00:01:54,800 --> 00:01:57,040 Speaker 2: Fast forward to the day we announced our save the date. 39 00:01:57,160 --> 00:02:00,000 Speaker 2: Literally right after we sent them out, my brother finally. 40 00:02:00,440 --> 00:02:02,400 Speaker 1: To Lauren oh H. 41 00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:05,000 Speaker 2: While I was a little confused, I still offered them 42 00:02:05,920 --> 00:02:09,000 Speaker 2: congratulations and was overall happy for them to be taking 43 00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:11,359 Speaker 2: that step. Now, if you think they decided to get 44 00:02:11,400 --> 00:02:14,200 Speaker 2: married the same day, I'm happy to say, thankfully, no, 45 00:02:14,520 --> 00:02:16,120 Speaker 2: that would have been crazy. That would have been crazy. 46 00:02:16,200 --> 00:02:18,320 Speaker 2: They did not. They are waiting and hoping for the 47 00:02:18,360 --> 00:02:22,200 Speaker 2: perfect day to just arise. Shortly after, my brother came 48 00:02:22,240 --> 00:02:24,560 Speaker 2: to me and asked that I let Lauren be part 49 00:02:24,639 --> 00:02:27,080 Speaker 2: of my bridal party so she could see firsthand what 50 00:02:27,200 --> 00:02:30,440 Speaker 2: goes into being a bride. While I had some reservations, 51 00:02:30,480 --> 00:02:33,240 Speaker 2: I ultimately decided to let her become a bridesmaid to 52 00:02:33,440 --> 00:02:39,840 Speaker 2: try to bond. Horrible bad idea. She was a mess 53 00:02:39,880 --> 00:02:41,600 Speaker 2: to work with. When it came to days to meet 54 00:02:41,680 --> 00:02:45,560 Speaker 2: up for bridesmaid dress shopping, she suddenly became sick every 55 00:02:45,960 --> 00:02:49,280 Speaker 2: single time. It's a miracle that she's alive. With how 56 00:02:49,360 --> 00:02:52,200 Speaker 2: much she was sick. I didn't mind, but let her 57 00:02:52,240 --> 00:02:54,720 Speaker 2: know we needed to get her dressed soon. I wasn't 58 00:02:54,720 --> 00:02:57,680 Speaker 2: picky with what my bridesmaids wore as long as it 59 00:02:57,760 --> 00:03:01,800 Speaker 2: was not not black. I've always had this dream of 60 00:03:01,840 --> 00:03:04,480 Speaker 2: wearing a beautiful black wedding dress, so my wedding colors 61 00:03:04,480 --> 00:03:05,560 Speaker 2: wore anything. 62 00:03:05,240 --> 00:03:09,480 Speaker 1: But black, very emo. I love it. I love it. 63 00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:13,280 Speaker 2: My husband chose a beautiful red tooksito. So we decided 64 00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:14,960 Speaker 2: that our guest can wear whatever, as long as it 65 00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:16,600 Speaker 2: wasn't those two colors. 66 00:03:16,600 --> 00:03:18,480 Speaker 1: The one time where you can actually wear white to. 67 00:03:18,440 --> 00:03:20,680 Speaker 3: A wedding, you can wear Yeah, live your dreams. 68 00:03:20,720 --> 00:03:23,640 Speaker 2: My future sister in law I hated that idea. It's 69 00:03:23,680 --> 00:03:26,880 Speaker 2: so funny that, yeah, it's just crazy. That's like not 70 00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:28,600 Speaker 2: it's literally the wedding. 71 00:03:28,639 --> 00:03:29,320 Speaker 1: You don't have to do that. 72 00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:31,760 Speaker 2: Every time it was brought up, she never failed to 73 00:03:31,800 --> 00:03:34,120 Speaker 2: mention how tacky and weird she thought it was. 74 00:03:34,480 --> 00:03:35,800 Speaker 1: That is so rude. 75 00:03:35,960 --> 00:03:39,240 Speaker 2: Why in front of the future bride to be like, 76 00:03:39,480 --> 00:03:41,480 Speaker 2: your wedding decision is taki. 77 00:03:41,640 --> 00:03:44,960 Speaker 4: I'd be like, oh, okay, well, I actually you don't 78 00:03:44,960 --> 00:03:46,120 Speaker 4: even have to be a part of the wedding. 79 00:03:46,240 --> 00:03:48,480 Speaker 2: I didn't mind because it was my wedding, not hers. 80 00:03:48,640 --> 00:03:50,600 Speaker 2: I love my wedding dress and so did my husband, 81 00:03:50,680 --> 00:03:54,360 Speaker 2: but who cares. Besides making finding her dress difficult, she 82 00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:57,120 Speaker 2: also refused to participate in any of the activities. I 83 00:03:57,200 --> 00:03:59,480 Speaker 2: planned for the bridal party to thank them for a 84 00:03:59,480 --> 00:04:01,800 Speaker 2: grain to be my bridesmaid, my wonderful maid of honor, 85 00:04:01,840 --> 00:04:04,160 Speaker 2: and I planned a weekend get away for all of us. 86 00:04:04,640 --> 00:04:06,920 Speaker 2: We paid for the whole thing. They just needed to 87 00:04:06,920 --> 00:04:09,400 Speaker 2: show up. We rented a house near downtown of the 88 00:04:09,400 --> 00:04:11,800 Speaker 2: city we chose so we could bar hop and attend 89 00:04:11,840 --> 00:04:14,080 Speaker 2: a few events that were going on. Lauren made the 90 00:04:14,080 --> 00:04:17,600 Speaker 2: whole weekend awful. She complained that all the things we 91 00:04:17,640 --> 00:04:20,440 Speaker 2: planned were dumb and a waste of time. She called 92 00:04:20,440 --> 00:04:23,080 Speaker 2: my brother countless times to complain about how she hated 93 00:04:23,120 --> 00:04:24,880 Speaker 2: it and wanted to come home. Later found that that 94 00:04:24,880 --> 00:04:27,320 Speaker 2: whenever we went to go places and she refused to 95 00:04:27,480 --> 00:04:30,000 Speaker 2: she would call my brother and say we purposely left 96 00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:32,520 Speaker 2: her out, so now she's just lying. This resulted in 97 00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:35,080 Speaker 2: him going off on me for being mean to his fiance. 98 00:04:35,760 --> 00:04:37,880 Speaker 2: My maid of honor, Emmy, would stand up for me 99 00:04:37,920 --> 00:04:39,839 Speaker 2: and did her very best to find things that Lauren 100 00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:45,320 Speaker 2: would want to do. Why you like Lauren? Fast forward 101 00:04:45,360 --> 00:04:47,400 Speaker 2: again into two months before my wedding. Lauren comes to 102 00:04:47,440 --> 00:04:50,120 Speaker 2: me saying she found the perfect bride'smaid dress and needed 103 00:04:50,160 --> 00:04:52,320 Speaker 2: me to go ahead and buy it. Guys, tell me why. 104 00:04:52,360 --> 00:04:56,120 Speaker 2: She sent me the link to a black semi lace 105 00:04:56,240 --> 00:04:58,920 Speaker 2: dress that had a slit up the thigh. Now I 106 00:04:58,960 --> 00:05:01,200 Speaker 2: don't mind the slit, it was fine, but the color 107 00:05:01,600 --> 00:05:03,520 Speaker 2: I felt she was deliberately doing this to make me 108 00:05:03,560 --> 00:05:05,800 Speaker 2: feel bad. I messaged her saying, hey, did you want 109 00:05:05,800 --> 00:05:09,279 Speaker 2: me to select a color specifically or choose whichever I wanted? 110 00:05:09,440 --> 00:05:12,840 Speaker 2: Love the look though, to which she replied no, I 111 00:05:12,880 --> 00:05:15,520 Speaker 2: sent exactly what I wanted. 112 00:05:15,680 --> 00:05:16,479 Speaker 3: This is so weird. 113 00:05:17,160 --> 00:05:18,839 Speaker 2: I was upset at this, so I called my brother 114 00:05:18,880 --> 00:05:21,120 Speaker 2: and basically said, she either picks a different color or 115 00:05:21,120 --> 00:05:23,320 Speaker 2: I'll remove her from my bridle party because I want 116 00:05:23,320 --> 00:05:26,279 Speaker 2: my day to be perfect. Feelings, that seems very reasonable. 117 00:05:26,480 --> 00:05:28,640 Speaker 2: He said he had no clue what the big deal was, 118 00:05:28,680 --> 00:05:31,479 Speaker 2: and if she isn't wearing white, who cares? 119 00:05:32,440 --> 00:05:33,599 Speaker 1: Mean? I care? 120 00:05:34,520 --> 00:05:35,520 Speaker 2: It's my wedding. 121 00:05:36,040 --> 00:05:36,440 Speaker 3: She's out. 122 00:05:36,839 --> 00:05:39,159 Speaker 2: I repeated my previous choice. If she didn't pick a 123 00:05:39,160 --> 00:05:43,839 Speaker 2: different color, she would be removed. She chose to step down. 124 00:05:44,080 --> 00:05:45,520 Speaker 2: While I was bummed she didn't want to pick a 125 00:05:45,520 --> 00:05:48,279 Speaker 2: different color to participate. I don't think you were. I 126 00:05:48,320 --> 00:05:50,360 Speaker 2: didn't hang up on it too much and continued about 127 00:05:50,360 --> 00:05:52,880 Speaker 2: my life. Since the dress was out of their price point, 128 00:05:52,920 --> 00:05:55,400 Speaker 2: I wasn't worried about her getting it and wearing it anyways. 129 00:05:56,120 --> 00:05:59,240 Speaker 2: Boy was I wrong. The day my wedding is here. 130 00:05:59,480 --> 00:06:03,320 Speaker 2: The morning starts off wonderfuly. Everyone is happy until Lauren 131 00:06:03,440 --> 00:06:08,400 Speaker 2: walked into the bridal suite in a floor length black gown. 132 00:06:09,160 --> 00:06:14,200 Speaker 2: Security Security, Security, I don't know who that woman is. 133 00:06:14,240 --> 00:06:17,720 Speaker 4: Security, Seary, get this woman out of my ballroom. 134 00:06:17,960 --> 00:06:21,640 Speaker 2: I immediately started crying and was so disappointed this was happening. 135 00:06:21,720 --> 00:06:24,600 Speaker 2: Everyone around me was so confused and lost. My maid 136 00:06:24,680 --> 00:06:26,760 Speaker 2: of honor and aunt both asked her to leave and 137 00:06:26,880 --> 00:06:27,720 Speaker 2: change her outfit. 138 00:06:27,839 --> 00:06:28,920 Speaker 3: Get over yourself. 139 00:06:29,240 --> 00:06:32,479 Speaker 2: I managed to get myself together, because I'll be danged 140 00:06:32,640 --> 00:06:35,520 Speaker 2: if I little miss Lauren ruins my wedding to the 141 00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:38,400 Speaker 2: most wonderful man I know. Lauren says she didn't have 142 00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:40,839 Speaker 2: anything else to wear, and it wouldn't matter because she 143 00:06:40,960 --> 00:06:44,800 Speaker 2: won't stand out too much because again, she wasn't wearing white. 144 00:06:45,320 --> 00:06:47,839 Speaker 2: Mind you, many guests opposited for a white outfit to 145 00:06:47,880 --> 00:06:50,360 Speaker 2: make my blast dress pop even more, which was really 146 00:06:50,400 --> 00:06:53,240 Speaker 2: sweet to see. My husband's best man all wore white 147 00:06:53,240 --> 00:06:56,520 Speaker 2: suits as well, so yes, she would have definitely stood out. 148 00:06:56,560 --> 00:06:58,240 Speaker 2: My aunt wasn't having any of this, though, and told 149 00:06:58,279 --> 00:06:59,880 Speaker 2: Lauren to leave the menu and come back in a 150 00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:02,640 Speaker 2: different outfit. This made Lauren angry, and she said she 151 00:07:02,680 --> 00:07:05,719 Speaker 2: didn't want to attend the stupid event anyways. It wasn't 152 00:07:05,720 --> 00:07:08,719 Speaker 2: a real wedding if I wasn't wearing white. Then she left, 153 00:07:08,760 --> 00:07:11,360 Speaker 2: but not before storming out and making a scene, dragging 154 00:07:11,400 --> 00:07:13,520 Speaker 2: my brother with her. I was very sad he wouldn't 155 00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:15,400 Speaker 2: be there, but ultimately it was his own choice and 156 00:07:15,400 --> 00:07:17,239 Speaker 2: it is what it is. The rest of the wedding 157 00:07:17,240 --> 00:07:20,920 Speaker 2: went beautifully as I danced and partied until I literally dropped. 158 00:07:21,400 --> 00:07:23,360 Speaker 2: There are plenty of photos of my husband carrying me 159 00:07:23,440 --> 00:07:26,240 Speaker 2: to the car to capture the perfect night. Two days 160 00:07:26,240 --> 00:07:28,800 Speaker 2: after my wedding, I was bombarded with messages from Lauren 161 00:07:29,080 --> 00:07:31,600 Speaker 2: saying she was super hurt I let her leave and 162 00:07:31,600 --> 00:07:34,040 Speaker 2: that she would have never done that to me, that 163 00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:35,800 Speaker 2: I let her down, and she was sad that as 164 00:07:35,880 --> 00:07:38,119 Speaker 2: my sister of sorts, I didn't let her be happy 165 00:07:38,160 --> 00:07:40,880 Speaker 2: in the perfect dress. I didn't respond for a bit 166 00:07:40,880 --> 00:07:42,200 Speaker 2: because I didn't have the energy. 167 00:07:42,360 --> 00:07:44,000 Speaker 1: Somehow that was the wrong choice. 168 00:07:44,120 --> 00:07:47,520 Speaker 2: The messages became phone calls and voicemails about how I 169 00:07:47,640 --> 00:07:50,640 Speaker 2: ruined the night for her my brother by punting her 170 00:07:50,680 --> 00:07:53,720 Speaker 2: out and not letting her be involved. Then came the threats, 171 00:07:54,640 --> 00:07:57,120 Speaker 2: I won't be invited to ours or in my bridal 172 00:07:57,160 --> 00:08:00,200 Speaker 2: party either, since you hate me. I finally on it 173 00:08:00,240 --> 00:08:02,920 Speaker 2: with one message, Hi, Lauren, I'm sorry to hear your 174 00:08:02,960 --> 00:08:05,160 Speaker 2: so upset about not being at my wedding. That being said, 175 00:08:05,160 --> 00:08:07,520 Speaker 2: you have plenty of time to change your dress and return, 176 00:08:07,680 --> 00:08:09,560 Speaker 2: or even had time to pick a different dress before 177 00:08:09,600 --> 00:08:11,760 Speaker 2: showing up. You aware of the color scheme and my 178 00:08:11,840 --> 00:08:14,480 Speaker 2: one major request. I do not hate you or my brother, 179 00:08:14,480 --> 00:08:16,280 Speaker 2: and I want you guys to have a very happy wedding. 180 00:08:16,440 --> 00:08:18,680 Speaker 2: It hurts you might not want me there, but ultimately 181 00:08:18,680 --> 00:08:20,600 Speaker 2: it's all right. I wish you the best, but for 182 00:08:20,720 --> 00:08:22,360 Speaker 2: now I would rather not speak. 183 00:08:22,560 --> 00:08:22,960 Speaker 3: Yeah. 184 00:08:23,160 --> 00:08:28,000 Speaker 2: That seems like just perfect, great, perfect, straightforward to facts. Yeah, 185 00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:30,320 Speaker 2: and the only lie is that you I'm mature. 186 00:08:30,520 --> 00:08:34,440 Speaker 1: I hate her, No, but you don't play her mind 187 00:08:34,440 --> 00:08:35,520 Speaker 1: games play. Yeah. 188 00:08:35,760 --> 00:08:39,400 Speaker 2: Yeah, just clear cut. There we go. I never got 189 00:08:39,440 --> 00:08:41,400 Speaker 2: a response, but it's clear she read it because she 190 00:08:41,400 --> 00:08:44,760 Speaker 2: took to social media about bride Zilla's keeping family out 191 00:08:44,760 --> 00:08:47,000 Speaker 2: and how she was still so hurt. This gained some 192 00:08:47,040 --> 00:08:49,439 Speaker 2: pity comments, but mostly people saying they were on my side, 193 00:08:49,480 --> 00:08:52,360 Speaker 2: so the post was removed. My lovely husband advised me 194 00:08:52,440 --> 00:08:54,600 Speaker 2: to just block and be done and take a break, 195 00:08:54,640 --> 00:08:57,040 Speaker 2: So that's what I will be doing. However, my brother 196 00:08:57,120 --> 00:08:59,320 Speaker 2: called very sad he missed my big day and said 197 00:08:59,320 --> 00:09:02,680 Speaker 2: he wished things were different. Yeah, your sister does too. 198 00:09:02,840 --> 00:09:04,880 Speaker 2: That left me wondering if I was ale for just 199 00:09:04,880 --> 00:09:07,400 Speaker 2: not letting her attend and stay in the black dress. 200 00:09:07,640 --> 00:09:09,760 Speaker 2: I did miss having my brother there, but I can't 201 00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:13,120 Speaker 2: but feel she deliberately wanted to hurt me with that choice. 202 00:09:13,160 --> 00:09:15,360 Speaker 2: So potatoes, tell me? Was I the a whole again? 203 00:09:15,400 --> 00:09:17,719 Speaker 2: Sorry for the format and errors and the length. Edit 204 00:09:17,960 --> 00:09:19,720 Speaker 2: tried to fix the format and spelling errors. 205 00:09:19,840 --> 00:09:20,160 Speaker 1: Update. 206 00:09:20,240 --> 00:09:22,679 Speaker 2: Hey everyone, First off, thank you for all the support 207 00:09:22,720 --> 00:09:24,760 Speaker 2: on my past posts. You guys are wonderful and made 208 00:09:24,760 --> 00:09:28,120 Speaker 2: me laugh about an unfortunate situation. So thank you. Now 209 00:09:28,160 --> 00:09:30,600 Speaker 2: on to the real reason we're here, the update on 210 00:09:30,679 --> 00:09:34,360 Speaker 2: my drama. Sister in law Lauren and my brother Kurt 211 00:09:34,600 --> 00:09:37,160 Speaker 2: have decided to split up for a little bit, a 212 00:09:37,240 --> 00:09:40,040 Speaker 2: permanent type of break, if you will. I hear no 213 00:09:40,040 --> 00:09:41,280 Speaker 2: shock from yo, Sopha. 214 00:09:41,200 --> 00:09:42,640 Speaker 3: What sorry? 215 00:09:43,760 --> 00:09:45,040 Speaker 1: Why there we go? 216 00:09:45,600 --> 00:09:47,079 Speaker 2: My brother called me a little bit of go to 217 00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:49,120 Speaker 2: inform you of this choice. Somehow he got a hold 218 00:09:49,120 --> 00:09:51,720 Speaker 2: of my posts and read many responses. Good for him. 219 00:09:52,040 --> 00:09:54,280 Speaker 2: He decided that the way Lauren treated me was unfair 220 00:09:54,320 --> 00:09:56,240 Speaker 2: and he was told white was a no no, but 221 00:09:56,360 --> 00:09:58,640 Speaker 2: was not told that my dress was being black meant 222 00:09:58,640 --> 00:10:00,439 Speaker 2: that black was the new no no. He told me 223 00:10:00,480 --> 00:10:02,240 Speaker 2: that Lauren said I was fine with her being in 224 00:10:02,440 --> 00:10:05,040 Speaker 2: black as a bonding tool for us, so she was 225 00:10:05,080 --> 00:10:07,360 Speaker 2: just lying to the brother. Lauren then went on to 226 00:10:07,360 --> 00:10:09,480 Speaker 2: explain that I singled her out and was rude to her. 227 00:10:09,520 --> 00:10:11,600 Speaker 2: My brother told her that the BS was enough and 228 00:10:11,640 --> 00:10:14,319 Speaker 2: he knows better now. He said he never wanted to marry, 229 00:10:14,320 --> 00:10:16,760 Speaker 2: but after I got engaged, she insisted they got married too. 230 00:10:17,120 --> 00:10:19,640 Speaker 2: So it was not the brother who was like feeling jealous. 231 00:10:19,679 --> 00:10:23,360 Speaker 2: It was just Lauren's her sibling rivalry with not even 232 00:10:23,400 --> 00:10:23,880 Speaker 2: her siblings. 233 00:10:23,960 --> 00:10:24,320 Speaker 4: Yeah. 234 00:10:24,360 --> 00:10:26,760 Speaker 2: While they both were originally okay with never marrying, something 235 00:10:26,800 --> 00:10:29,000 Speaker 2: shifted the day I was engaged. My brother said Lauren 236 00:10:29,040 --> 00:10:31,880 Speaker 2: completely flipped her standards and want My brother gave in, 237 00:10:31,920 --> 00:10:34,200 Speaker 2: but ultimately after my wedding did a lot of thinking 238 00:10:34,240 --> 00:10:36,640 Speaker 2: and decided he doesn't want to be married at all. 239 00:10:37,280 --> 00:10:41,280 Speaker 2: Laurne hated that and told him either the marry or 240 00:10:41,320 --> 00:10:44,240 Speaker 2: the split. When he called me, I was very hesitant 241 00:10:44,280 --> 00:10:47,040 Speaker 2: to answer because all the things that were said previously. However, 242 00:10:47,040 --> 00:10:48,880 Speaker 2: my husband said it might be best just to hear 243 00:10:48,920 --> 00:10:50,760 Speaker 2: what he says, and then decide if I still want 244 00:10:50,800 --> 00:10:53,840 Speaker 2: no contact. Bless my hobby. I love him. When I 245 00:10:53,960 --> 00:10:57,160 Speaker 2: called him back, he immediately apologized for everything, explained what 246 00:10:57,240 --> 00:11:00,000 Speaker 2: I previously said, and then told me about their relationship. 247 00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:02,000 Speaker 2: He said he was really sorry he missed my big 248 00:11:02,080 --> 00:11:04,280 Speaker 2: day and wishes he had seen that he could have stayed. 249 00:11:04,640 --> 00:11:06,960 Speaker 2: He said the next big celebration, no one will stand 250 00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:09,000 Speaker 2: in his way of being there. I told him I 251 00:11:09,040 --> 00:11:11,679 Speaker 2: really appreciate his apology, but that his behavior will still 252 00:11:11,679 --> 00:11:14,880 Speaker 2: have to improve for our sibling relationship to improve. He agreed. 253 00:11:15,240 --> 00:11:17,120 Speaker 2: I also stated how I was sorry to hear about 254 00:11:17,160 --> 00:11:19,360 Speaker 2: their breakup and then I wasn't trying to cause that. 255 00:11:20,040 --> 00:11:21,760 Speaker 2: He explained none of it was ever my fault and 256 00:11:21,760 --> 00:11:23,719 Speaker 2: that he loves me. That's where we left it. 257 00:11:23,760 --> 00:11:23,840 Speaker 3: So. 258 00:11:23,960 --> 00:11:26,080 Speaker 2: A little bit ago, my brother texted the family group 259 00:11:26,120 --> 00:11:30,120 Speaker 2: drop saying that Lauren is claiming she's pregnant and that 260 00:11:30,200 --> 00:11:32,600 Speaker 2: it's his child and he needs to be there. 261 00:11:32,640 --> 00:11:33,600 Speaker 1: Do we believe it? 262 00:11:33,679 --> 00:11:34,440 Speaker 3: I don't buy it. 263 00:11:34,559 --> 00:11:36,720 Speaker 2: She has consistently been lying. 264 00:11:36,920 --> 00:11:37,360 Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't. 265 00:11:38,080 --> 00:11:39,640 Speaker 4: I don't know if I don't even know if she 266 00:11:39,720 --> 00:11:40,280 Speaker 4: is pregnant. 267 00:11:40,440 --> 00:11:45,480 Speaker 2: Kean, what do you think she's pregnant, show me the carfax, 268 00:11:45,960 --> 00:11:48,880 Speaker 2: hum carfax. I am so confused because they never wanted kids, 269 00:11:48,880 --> 00:11:50,720 Speaker 2: and my brothers said she was adamant about taking her 270 00:11:50,720 --> 00:11:53,600 Speaker 2: birth control, which she could also have been lying about 271 00:11:53,679 --> 00:11:54,040 Speaker 2: to him. 272 00:11:54,120 --> 00:11:54,440 Speaker 1: True. 273 00:11:54,720 --> 00:11:56,520 Speaker 2: I told him to be there for his kid, but 274 00:11:56,559 --> 00:11:58,000 Speaker 2: that doesn't mean he has to be with her, and 275 00:11:58,040 --> 00:12:00,680 Speaker 2: that maybe this might be why she's son flipped on 276 00:12:00,760 --> 00:12:03,240 Speaker 2: getting married. He said he'll talk with her, but that's it. 277 00:12:03,600 --> 00:12:05,520 Speaker 2: I'm not sure what's going to happen there, but again, 278 00:12:05,559 --> 00:12:07,920 Speaker 2: I wish him the best. To test ye, get a 279 00:12:07,960 --> 00:12:09,480 Speaker 2: paternity test like stat. 280 00:12:10,760 --> 00:12:11,840 Speaker 3: Also again prove it. 281 00:12:12,160 --> 00:12:15,000 Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm pretty sure she's just lying, but it isn't 282 00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:18,920 Speaker 2: my relationship or responsibilities. I'm fine. Nonetheless, I'm glad my 283 00:12:18,920 --> 00:12:22,520 Speaker 2: brother apologize and wants to reconcile, and hopefully that behavior 284 00:12:22,559 --> 00:12:25,760 Speaker 2: of change continues. As for Lauren, I still have zero 285 00:12:25,880 --> 00:12:28,160 Speaker 2: contact with her and I will likely keep it that way. 286 00:12:28,520 --> 00:12:30,960 Speaker 2: If she's with child again doubtful. I wish her a 287 00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:33,640 Speaker 2: happy and healthy pregnancy. I don't know how my brother 288 00:12:33,720 --> 00:12:35,160 Speaker 2: is handling it, but I will let you guys know 289 00:12:35,200 --> 00:12:37,840 Speaker 2: if anything changes there. For now, they are not having 290 00:12:37,880 --> 00:12:41,120 Speaker 2: a wedding, but maybe a baby I'm still madly in 291 00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:43,680 Speaker 2: love with my husband and continuing to enjoy our newly 292 00:12:43,720 --> 00:12:46,600 Speaker 2: weed life with the best man I've ever known. My 293 00:12:46,760 --> 00:12:48,640 Speaker 2: parents are trying to help my brother and let him 294 00:12:48,679 --> 00:12:51,760 Speaker 2: move back in, and are glad him and I are speaking. However, 295 00:12:51,800 --> 00:12:54,880 Speaker 2: the scene disappointed in him and his possible baby mother. 296 00:12:55,000 --> 00:12:57,000 Speaker 2: But if you want to be our baby mama, you can. 297 00:12:57,120 --> 00:12:59,800 Speaker 2: You just got to listen the full episodes with stories 298 00:13:00,200 --> 00:13:02,920 Speaker 2: just like this. Just go to Spotify, Apple Podcast their 299 00:13:02,960 --> 00:13:05,959 Speaker 2: favorite podcast app and search Okay storytime to all. In all, 300 00:13:06,080 --> 00:13:07,880 Speaker 2: set your boundaries and be happy with them. Thank you 301 00:13:07,880 --> 00:13:10,040 Speaker 2: again for all the advice you wonderful humans gave me, 302 00:13:10,320 --> 00:13:12,319 Speaker 2: even the very funny ones. I love you, guys, and 303 00:13:12,360 --> 00:13:15,280 Speaker 2: my husband insisted I include that as wonderful as he is, 304 00:13:15,360 --> 00:13:16,920 Speaker 2: I am ten times more lovely. 305 00:13:17,080 --> 00:13:19,520 Speaker 1: Ah okay, and my time is off. 306 00:13:19,520 --> 00:13:21,319 Speaker 2: She only found out she was pregnant a week before 307 00:13:21,320 --> 00:13:23,760 Speaker 2: my wedding, and she claims to be about a month long, 308 00:13:23,880 --> 00:13:27,760 Speaker 2: so way after she demanded the engagement. It was a 309 00:13:27,840 --> 00:13:29,079 Speaker 2: happy ending. Brope. 310 00:13:29,559 --> 00:13:31,120 Speaker 3: That's true. Oh, be had a good wedding. 311 00:13:32,760 --> 00:13:35,760 Speaker 4: My mother in law is manipulative, so we started recording 312 00:13:35,800 --> 00:13:36,880 Speaker 4: every interaction. 313 00:13:37,559 --> 00:13:39,600 Speaker 3: I think, Okay, for context. 314 00:13:39,920 --> 00:13:42,800 Speaker 4: My twenty female boyfriend twenty male, let's call him Adam, 315 00:13:42,840 --> 00:13:45,520 Speaker 4: and I have been together for a few years, and 316 00:13:45,520 --> 00:13:48,880 Speaker 4: from the start is mother Karen fifty two females made 317 00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:50,240 Speaker 4: subtle remarks about how he. 318 00:13:50,240 --> 00:13:51,160 Speaker 3: Could have done better. 319 00:13:51,360 --> 00:13:54,240 Speaker 4: Oh, by the way, this comes from Dry Yellow eighteen 320 00:13:54,320 --> 00:13:56,200 Speaker 4: sixty six. And if you want to submit your own stories, 321 00:13:56,240 --> 00:13:58,080 Speaker 4: go to art slash Okay story Time suppurated it. 322 00:13:58,160 --> 00:13:59,520 Speaker 2: I knew he was gonna be bad when her name 323 00:13:59,559 --> 00:13:59,920 Speaker 2: was Karen. 324 00:14:00,040 --> 00:14:02,880 Speaker 4: She's all triviligious and expects her children to follow a 325 00:14:02,880 --> 00:14:08,080 Speaker 4: perfect traditional path school, university, a real job, and complete obedience. 326 00:14:08,640 --> 00:14:11,199 Speaker 4: Since we don't fit her mold, every little thing we 327 00:14:11,280 --> 00:14:15,360 Speaker 4: do is labeled as disrespectful, even when we're just having honest, 328 00:14:15,400 --> 00:14:20,000 Speaker 4: normal conversations. Adam's brother, John thirty three male, still lives 329 00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:23,440 Speaker 4: with her and gets away with everything. She only steps 330 00:14:23,520 --> 00:14:26,320 Speaker 4: in when his behavior is so bad that it's unavoidable, 331 00:14:27,120 --> 00:14:29,160 Speaker 4: and even then only if we're around to see it. 332 00:14:29,840 --> 00:14:32,480 Speaker 4: But if he refuses to help with something, she yells 333 00:14:32,480 --> 00:14:34,680 Speaker 4: at Adham to do it instead if she did not 334 00:14:34,840 --> 00:14:36,800 Speaker 4: tell him to do it originally, which is most of 335 00:14:36,840 --> 00:14:40,160 Speaker 4: the time, even if he's busy. If she's in a 336 00:14:40,160 --> 00:14:42,800 Speaker 4: bad mood. She gives him the silent treatment if he 337 00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:45,160 Speaker 4: tries to talk about his feelings. She accuses him of 338 00:14:45,200 --> 00:14:48,040 Speaker 4: holding onto grudges and that he should let go of 339 00:14:48,040 --> 00:14:51,440 Speaker 4: the past. So when we were seventeen, I moved in 340 00:14:51,480 --> 00:14:54,640 Speaker 4: with them because my home was very toxic. I only 341 00:14:54,680 --> 00:14:57,080 Speaker 4: shared part of what happened, not all, because I was 342 00:14:57,120 --> 00:15:00,160 Speaker 4: afraid she would call the authorities on my parents. She 343 00:15:00,240 --> 00:15:03,600 Speaker 4: said she understood from the get go. I noticed Adam 344 00:15:03,720 --> 00:15:06,040 Speaker 4: is not allowed to have his own privacy at all, 345 00:15:06,560 --> 00:15:09,440 Speaker 4: because that means he is hiding things from her. According 346 00:15:09,480 --> 00:15:12,800 Speaker 4: to her, she treats Adam like he's her partner. Oh no, 347 00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:16,160 Speaker 4: She's completely codependent on him and expects him to drop 348 00:15:16,280 --> 00:15:17,160 Speaker 4: everything for her. 349 00:15:17,320 --> 00:15:18,600 Speaker 2: It's called ameshment. 350 00:15:18,960 --> 00:15:22,400 Speaker 4: Yeah, we learned that one. If he's busy working, spending 351 00:15:22,440 --> 00:15:25,080 Speaker 4: time with me, or caring for our daughter to female, 352 00:15:25,200 --> 00:15:27,600 Speaker 4: she gets mad and says, I'm never allowed to ask 353 00:15:27,640 --> 00:15:30,080 Speaker 4: you for anything. But at the same time, she treats 354 00:15:30,120 --> 00:15:34,480 Speaker 4: him horribly. She constantly criticizes him, insults him, and disrespects him, 355 00:15:34,880 --> 00:15:37,000 Speaker 4: yet expects him to be at her beck and call. 356 00:15:38,080 --> 00:15:40,480 Speaker 4: Fast forward a year and we have our daughter and 357 00:15:40,520 --> 00:15:43,640 Speaker 4: she is the love of our life. Karen suspected I 358 00:15:43,760 --> 00:15:45,840 Speaker 4: was pregnant. We did not know I was, and said 359 00:15:45,880 --> 00:15:48,040 Speaker 4: she hopes it's not too late to do something about 360 00:15:48,080 --> 00:15:48,800 Speaker 4: it to. 361 00:15:48,840 --> 00:15:53,720 Speaker 2: Not have the baby. I thought she was ultra religious. Yeah, 362 00:15:53,760 --> 00:15:55,400 Speaker 2: I'm sensing some discrepancy. 363 00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:58,480 Speaker 4: When I gave birth, Karen stood by the door and 364 00:15:58,560 --> 00:16:01,240 Speaker 4: watched me get birth. When I came out, I was 365 00:16:01,280 --> 00:16:04,400 Speaker 4: distraught as it had been a very complicated berth and 366 00:16:04,480 --> 00:16:06,680 Speaker 4: our daughter was premature, so we didn't get to see 367 00:16:06,720 --> 00:16:08,920 Speaker 4: her as she was rushed to the ICU. I was 368 00:16:08,960 --> 00:16:12,480 Speaker 4: shaking the whole time we went to the maternity ward, 369 00:16:12,520 --> 00:16:14,560 Speaker 4: and I didn't even get out of the wheelchair or 370 00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:17,560 Speaker 4: lie down before she yelled at us, saying, we messed 371 00:16:17,640 --> 00:16:20,760 Speaker 4: up and better step up. Valid we should, and I'm 372 00:16:20,760 --> 00:16:23,680 Speaker 4: proud that we did. She then proceeded to pray for 373 00:16:23,800 --> 00:16:25,560 Speaker 4: us while I was still bleeding everywhere. 374 00:16:25,600 --> 00:16:26,040 Speaker 3: Oh no. 375 00:16:26,480 --> 00:16:28,600 Speaker 4: When she took Adam and John to town to get 376 00:16:28,640 --> 00:16:30,960 Speaker 4: things for our baby, they were the only ones allowed 377 00:16:30,960 --> 00:16:34,000 Speaker 4: to pick anything out for her. Adam wasn't allowed to 378 00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:36,640 Speaker 4: pick anything except for one beanie. Maybe that was fair 379 00:16:36,680 --> 00:16:38,520 Speaker 4: since it was their money, but they were rude to 380 00:16:38,600 --> 00:16:41,920 Speaker 4: him the whole time they were there, and dismissed him completely. 381 00:16:42,920 --> 00:16:45,480 Speaker 4: Back to almost the present, she gets angry at us 382 00:16:45,480 --> 00:16:48,760 Speaker 4: for setting boundaries for our daughter. If Adam tries to 383 00:16:48,800 --> 00:16:51,160 Speaker 4: calmly talk to her, she says, we're making trouble, and 384 00:16:51,200 --> 00:16:54,440 Speaker 4: the famous statement do not start with me comes out. 385 00:16:54,800 --> 00:16:57,920 Speaker 4: It doesn't stop there. When our daughter is sleeping, she 386 00:16:58,280 --> 00:17:01,520 Speaker 4: deliberately yells just to prove a even though we've asked 387 00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:04,440 Speaker 4: her to be quiet. When Adam hands over our daughter 388 00:17:04,520 --> 00:17:06,720 Speaker 4: to her so they can spend time together, she picks 389 00:17:06,760 --> 00:17:10,600 Speaker 4: a fight. We have a strict rule no yelling or 390 00:17:10,640 --> 00:17:13,680 Speaker 4: disrespectful conversations in front of our daughter because it stresses 391 00:17:13,720 --> 00:17:16,719 Speaker 4: her out, and she will think that is normal. Her parents' 392 00:17:16,720 --> 00:17:20,960 Speaker 4: criticisms are relentless. She claims we are raising our daughter 393 00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:23,920 Speaker 4: to look poor because she sometimes plays shirtless in the 394 00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:27,080 Speaker 4: shade during summer spring. Yet she expects us to wrap 395 00:17:27,080 --> 00:17:30,080 Speaker 4: her in a blanket indoors in thirty seven degrees celsius 396 00:17:30,119 --> 00:17:32,240 Speaker 4: ninety eight point six trees fahrenheit heat. 397 00:17:33,040 --> 00:17:35,120 Speaker 3: When we refuse, she snapped, don't start with. 398 00:17:35,119 --> 00:17:38,000 Speaker 4: Me, and still does it, even though we've explained that 399 00:17:38,040 --> 00:17:40,439 Speaker 4: our daughter gets hot very quickly and does not like 400 00:17:40,480 --> 00:17:43,040 Speaker 4: being covered in layers. Seeing as She was born in 401 00:17:43,040 --> 00:17:45,080 Speaker 4: the middle of winter and has hated it ever since. 402 00:17:45,760 --> 00:17:49,280 Speaker 4: She punts herself open and sweats profusely even in winter, 403 00:17:49,440 --> 00:17:52,840 Speaker 4: but we do cover her when it's cold. The situation 404 00:17:53,080 --> 00:17:56,000 Speaker 4: escalated when she, along with my father who I'm now 405 00:17:56,160 --> 00:17:59,239 Speaker 4: no contact with because of years of trauma and this 406 00:17:59,320 --> 00:18:03,359 Speaker 4: one instance over line, conspire to take our daughter away. 407 00:18:03,880 --> 00:18:07,000 Speaker 4: What my father told her that they were people trying 408 00:18:07,080 --> 00:18:08,920 Speaker 4: to take the baby away from our as a grandmother, 409 00:18:09,240 --> 00:18:12,320 Speaker 4: and urged her to seize full control over our daughter. 410 00:18:12,760 --> 00:18:14,960 Speaker 4: What he only did it because he was fighting with 411 00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:18,120 Speaker 4: my mom and wanted to cause her stress. Sounds familiar. 412 00:18:18,440 --> 00:18:21,840 Speaker 4: Karen took this as a mandate, even making threats that 413 00:18:21,880 --> 00:18:24,119 Speaker 4: if we didn't do as she demanded, she'd take action. 414 00:18:24,960 --> 00:18:27,879 Speaker 4: This is when we started recording every conversation for our 415 00:18:27,920 --> 00:18:31,720 Speaker 4: protection and for our daughters. Listening back has made it 416 00:18:31,760 --> 00:18:35,400 Speaker 4: painfully clear how much she twists words, gaslights, and manipulates 417 00:18:35,400 --> 00:18:39,840 Speaker 4: every situation to fit her narrative. And yes, she's furious 418 00:18:39,880 --> 00:18:41,840 Speaker 4: that we record her, but the fact that we even 419 00:18:41,920 --> 00:18:45,719 Speaker 4: need to record speaks volume. She's like, what the heck, 420 00:18:46,240 --> 00:18:48,879 Speaker 4: I never said that, And they're like, no, we have proof, 421 00:18:48,880 --> 00:18:50,360 Speaker 4: and she's like I tell. 422 00:18:50,200 --> 00:18:53,720 Speaker 2: You, I love that. The image of her just like 423 00:18:53,760 --> 00:18:56,040 Speaker 2: freaking out in every scenario and they're just. 424 00:18:56,040 --> 00:19:00,920 Speaker 4: Like It gets even worse. A few months ago, during 425 00:19:00,960 --> 00:19:03,800 Speaker 4: one of her rants, she reminded him that this wasn't 426 00:19:03,840 --> 00:19:06,520 Speaker 4: the first time he'd chosen some girl over his mother 427 00:19:06,720 --> 00:19:12,679 Speaker 4: when Adam was fourteen crazy it seems entirely irrelevant. He 428 00:19:12,760 --> 00:19:15,000 Speaker 4: wanted to stay with a girlfriend for a week because 429 00:19:15,040 --> 00:19:17,080 Speaker 4: things got so bad that he could not stay at 430 00:19:17,080 --> 00:19:19,640 Speaker 4: home anymore, but he was forced to stay and locked 431 00:19:19,680 --> 00:19:22,320 Speaker 4: outside of the house for a week, not allowed to leave. 432 00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:25,159 Speaker 4: When I confronted her a few days ago about what 433 00:19:25,200 --> 00:19:27,399 Speaker 4: she said, explaining that I'm not just some girl but 434 00:19:27,480 --> 00:19:30,119 Speaker 4: his partner and the mother of his child, she claimed 435 00:19:30,119 --> 00:19:33,000 Speaker 4: I was taking her words out of context. There wasn't 436 00:19:33,119 --> 00:19:36,000 Speaker 4: much context to salvage. She said what she said, and 437 00:19:36,040 --> 00:19:37,160 Speaker 4: now she's furious that. 438 00:19:37,160 --> 00:19:37,919 Speaker 1: I overheard it. 439 00:19:38,640 --> 00:19:41,280 Speaker 4: Fast forward a couple weeks ago, Adam decided to go 440 00:19:41,320 --> 00:19:44,200 Speaker 4: to the army, but came back because of personal reasons. 441 00:19:44,720 --> 00:19:46,920 Speaker 4: His mother did not like that he decided to come 442 00:19:46,960 --> 00:19:47,560 Speaker 4: back at all. 443 00:19:47,640 --> 00:19:49,359 Speaker 2: Oh, we're going to go to the army and leave 444 00:19:49,440 --> 00:19:51,760 Speaker 2: your partner and child with your mother. 445 00:19:52,160 --> 00:19:54,280 Speaker 4: His mother did not like that he decided to come 446 00:19:54,280 --> 00:19:56,600 Speaker 4: back at all. From the moment we picked him up, 447 00:19:56,640 --> 00:19:58,760 Speaker 4: she didn't even look in his direction and refused to 448 00:19:58,760 --> 00:20:01,560 Speaker 4: speak to him unless she wanted something done or wanted 449 00:20:01,560 --> 00:20:03,640 Speaker 4: to ask him if he found a real job. Yet, 450 00:20:04,320 --> 00:20:06,760 Speaker 4: according to her, it was because it was peaceful without 451 00:20:06,800 --> 00:20:09,679 Speaker 4: him there. Jeez, But it was peaceful because I couldn't 452 00:20:09,720 --> 00:20:12,439 Speaker 4: object to anything John or Karen did because I was 453 00:20:12,520 --> 00:20:14,920 Speaker 4: too scared that it would be me against the two 454 00:20:14,920 --> 00:20:16,920 Speaker 4: of them, and I have my daughter to protect. 455 00:20:17,480 --> 00:20:17,680 Speaker 3: Now. 456 00:20:17,760 --> 00:20:20,240 Speaker 4: Karen is not letting go of the real job thing. 457 00:20:20,600 --> 00:20:22,960 Speaker 4: For instance, she was holding our daughter and only when 458 00:20:22,960 --> 00:20:24,880 Speaker 4: she was sure I was asleep in the other room 459 00:20:24,920 --> 00:20:27,200 Speaker 4: I was sick, did she try to pick a fight 460 00:20:27,240 --> 00:20:29,959 Speaker 4: with Adam about our jobs. He told her she couldn't 461 00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:32,560 Speaker 4: yell while holding our daughter and if she wanted to 462 00:20:32,600 --> 00:20:34,760 Speaker 4: have a respectful conversation they could do it later. 463 00:20:35,240 --> 00:20:35,920 Speaker 3: She got so. 464 00:20:36,119 --> 00:20:38,640 Speaker 4: Mad she handed our daughter over to John, a guy 465 00:20:38,640 --> 00:20:41,520 Speaker 4: we're uncomfortable with due to his aggressive, short tempered nature, 466 00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:45,000 Speaker 4: and because John even comments on her timeouts, which we 467 00:20:45,080 --> 00:20:47,280 Speaker 4: actually take for her to calm down while we sit 468 00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:49,240 Speaker 4: with her and explain why she couldn't do what she did, 469 00:20:49,480 --> 00:20:53,400 Speaker 4: speaking calmly to her and breaking generational trauma. John likes 470 00:20:53,440 --> 00:20:55,320 Speaker 4: to point out that she's just one years old and 471 00:20:55,359 --> 00:20:56,960 Speaker 4: it won't work, and we just don't want to make 472 00:20:56,960 --> 00:21:00,880 Speaker 4: the effort. When Adam tried to reclaim our daughter from John, 473 00:21:00,920 --> 00:21:04,160 Speaker 4: who was in the kitchen around the corner, Karen physically 474 00:21:04,200 --> 00:21:06,880 Speaker 4: blocked the doorway and tried to push him away, Wow 475 00:21:07,280 --> 00:21:09,919 Speaker 4: yet to push past her. Then John held her for 476 00:21:09,960 --> 00:21:12,720 Speaker 4: a minute or two with his back to Adam, even 477 00:21:12,720 --> 00:21:16,680 Speaker 4: though Adam kept asking for her, and then handed her back. Then, 478 00:21:16,760 --> 00:21:19,320 Speaker 4: when Adam took our daughter for a walk outside, Karen 479 00:21:19,359 --> 00:21:23,000 Speaker 4: followed him around the entire house twice. The moment our 480 00:21:23,080 --> 00:21:25,480 Speaker 4: daughter saw her, she yelled from around the corner something 481 00:21:25,520 --> 00:21:27,159 Speaker 4: like I'm sorry, I'm not allowed to be with you 482 00:21:27,240 --> 00:21:30,240 Speaker 4: right now, trying to make it seem as if Adam 483 00:21:30,359 --> 00:21:33,200 Speaker 4: was keeping our daughter away from her, even though just 484 00:21:33,240 --> 00:21:36,480 Speaker 4: minutes before she was the one keeping him from his child. 485 00:21:36,840 --> 00:21:40,360 Speaker 4: She even whispers outright lies to our daughter, petty manipulations 486 00:21:40,400 --> 00:21:42,960 Speaker 4: meant to distort her perception to a two year old. 487 00:21:43,200 --> 00:21:45,800 Speaker 2: You need to get out of there, as like a side. 488 00:21:45,840 --> 00:21:48,520 Speaker 4: We moved on to another section of our very small business, 489 00:21:48,560 --> 00:21:51,520 Speaker 4: and it is struggling to bring in money. However, we 490 00:21:51,600 --> 00:21:54,480 Speaker 4: still contribute to the house the way we should. We 491 00:21:54,560 --> 00:21:57,159 Speaker 4: created a back buddy to raise funds for the business, 492 00:21:57,160 --> 00:21:59,800 Speaker 4: which is a recycling business, and we planned to sell 493 00:22:00,280 --> 00:22:02,960 Speaker 4: we made for that cause. But Karen is still not 494 00:22:03,160 --> 00:22:07,360 Speaker 4: happy that we do not have real jobs. So we 495 00:22:07,440 --> 00:22:09,680 Speaker 4: decided to buy our own things for the house since 496 00:22:09,680 --> 00:22:12,560 Speaker 4: we're not allowed to use their stuff anymore. Now, Karen 497 00:22:12,600 --> 00:22:15,240 Speaker 4: wants us to use our stuff for everyone, but none 498 00:22:15,280 --> 00:22:18,800 Speaker 4: of theirs to make things for everyone. Meanwhile, we only 499 00:22:18,840 --> 00:22:22,080 Speaker 4: have enough for ourselves, and they make ten times more 500 00:22:22,119 --> 00:22:24,600 Speaker 4: money than us. She doesn't like that we buy our 501 00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:27,320 Speaker 4: own things now and have an opportunity to work from 502 00:22:27,359 --> 00:22:29,560 Speaker 4: home for a little while, so she tries to pick 503 00:22:29,600 --> 00:22:34,159 Speaker 4: fights with everything we do. When we don't engage, she 504 00:22:34,200 --> 00:22:36,560 Speaker 4: says Adam is turning his back on her and his family. 505 00:22:36,960 --> 00:22:39,480 Speaker 4: A few days ago, we had a big fight, and 506 00:22:39,520 --> 00:22:41,879 Speaker 4: whenever we made valid points, she said. 507 00:22:41,680 --> 00:22:43,560 Speaker 3: We were being disrespectful. 508 00:22:43,680 --> 00:22:46,320 Speaker 4: Meanwhile, she was yelling at us and interrupting us, and 509 00:22:46,359 --> 00:22:49,119 Speaker 4: we stayed calm, keeping our cool and explaining how we 510 00:22:49,160 --> 00:22:51,680 Speaker 4: feel about things. She went as far as to say 511 00:22:51,720 --> 00:22:53,399 Speaker 4: that I do not have enough experience to be a 512 00:22:53,480 --> 00:22:55,960 Speaker 4: good mom to our daughter, even though it's been two years. 513 00:22:56,520 --> 00:22:59,040 Speaker 4: Yet she has to respect our boundaries and has gotten 514 00:22:59,080 --> 00:23:00,440 Speaker 4: better at it, but she's still. 515 00:23:00,280 --> 00:23:01,080 Speaker 3: Not good enough for us. 516 00:23:01,119 --> 00:23:04,640 Speaker 4: Apparently, I nearly asked her, so, why can you take 517 00:23:04,680 --> 00:23:07,639 Speaker 4: more than two years to learn basic boundaries? But I 518 00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:09,479 Speaker 4: have to know how to be a perfect mother at 519 00:23:09,520 --> 00:23:13,320 Speaker 4: two months because apparently she had to be one because 520 00:23:13,359 --> 00:23:15,000 Speaker 4: she had to go back to her real job. 521 00:23:15,960 --> 00:23:17,040 Speaker 3: She loves to bring. 522 00:23:16,920 --> 00:23:18,480 Speaker 4: Up the fact that I will never be a good 523 00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:20,879 Speaker 4: mother like she is because she had it harder than 524 00:23:20,880 --> 00:23:22,000 Speaker 4: me and did it on her own. 525 00:23:22,680 --> 00:23:23,359 Speaker 2: Oh my god. 526 00:23:23,800 --> 00:23:24,639 Speaker 3: But she forgets that. 527 00:23:24,680 --> 00:23:27,600 Speaker 4: She's allowed people in her life to abuse Adam and 528 00:23:27,680 --> 00:23:31,159 Speaker 4: actually joined in sometimes. When I told her that she 529 00:23:31,280 --> 00:23:33,359 Speaker 4: is not doing right by Adam by not listening to 530 00:23:33,440 --> 00:23:35,880 Speaker 4: him when he is talking to her about how he feels, 531 00:23:36,040 --> 00:23:39,439 Speaker 4: she said, ah, shame, how will he ever live? In 532 00:23:39,480 --> 00:23:42,000 Speaker 4: a sarcastic tone. My boyfriend told me we should just 533 00:23:42,080 --> 00:23:44,359 Speaker 4: leave because it is useless talking to her when she 534 00:23:44,440 --> 00:23:49,159 Speaker 4: closes herself off to anything and the conversation goes in circles. 535 00:23:49,720 --> 00:23:54,720 Speaker 4: She constantly tells us we're disrespectful, yet she insults, manipulates, 536 00:23:54,720 --> 00:23:57,960 Speaker 4: and fights with us at every turn. If Adam tries 537 00:23:58,000 --> 00:24:01,240 Speaker 4: to have rational conversation, she either with our words, changes 538 00:24:01,280 --> 00:24:04,600 Speaker 4: the subject, or sarcastically says, oh, though, now I'm just. 539 00:24:04,640 --> 00:24:08,200 Speaker 3: The worst mother ever. Yes, yeah, and that's what you say. 540 00:24:08,880 --> 00:24:12,800 Speaker 2: Yes, yes, you're terrible to you are not a good mother. 541 00:24:13,240 --> 00:24:16,200 Speaker 4: There's no winning now. She's saying he does not care 542 00:24:16,240 --> 00:24:18,840 Speaker 4: about her and tries to send a messages saying that 543 00:24:18,880 --> 00:24:21,720 Speaker 4: we are not contributing, but she got mad when we did. 544 00:24:22,320 --> 00:24:24,760 Speaker 4: She's also mad that we are more independent than before. 545 00:24:24,960 --> 00:24:28,080 Speaker 4: She even asked for our daughter's birth certificate and then 546 00:24:28,119 --> 00:24:30,159 Speaker 4: said it's because she will be the only one to 547 00:24:30,200 --> 00:24:31,400 Speaker 4: inherit anything from her. 548 00:24:33,720 --> 00:24:35,159 Speaker 3: Don't give her the birth certificate. 549 00:24:35,840 --> 00:24:37,760 Speaker 4: We refuse to give it to her because we do 550 00:24:37,840 --> 00:24:39,840 Speaker 4: not trust her with it, and she got mad. She 551 00:24:39,920 --> 00:24:42,560 Speaker 4: then took the gift we got her for her birthday 552 00:24:42,600 --> 00:24:45,639 Speaker 4: and put it on our bed. Adam said it gently 553 00:24:45,720 --> 00:24:47,720 Speaker 4: at her door because he is not allowed to go. 554 00:24:47,640 --> 00:24:48,240 Speaker 3: Into her room. 555 00:24:48,800 --> 00:24:50,439 Speaker 4: We gifted it to her and we are not the 556 00:24:50,440 --> 00:24:52,840 Speaker 4: type of people to take gifts back, even though that 557 00:24:52,960 --> 00:24:55,879 Speaker 4: is what she has done. She then punted the box 558 00:24:55,960 --> 00:24:58,280 Speaker 4: and the gift away from her door and expected us 559 00:24:58,280 --> 00:25:02,080 Speaker 4: to pick it up. He bought her a dishwasher when 560 00:25:02,080 --> 00:25:04,680 Speaker 4: he was younger with his inheritance money from his grandmother 561 00:25:04,760 --> 00:25:07,000 Speaker 4: to make it easier for her because she has a 562 00:25:07,040 --> 00:25:09,360 Speaker 4: medical condition that makes it hard for her to do 563 00:25:09,400 --> 00:25:12,280 Speaker 4: certain things. He does not want to take it back, 564 00:25:12,400 --> 00:25:14,240 Speaker 4: but if she is going to give it back, we 565 00:25:14,280 --> 00:25:17,560 Speaker 4: are going to take it. This morning, she sent him 566 00:25:17,560 --> 00:25:20,000 Speaker 4: a prayer message after she picked a fight over us 567 00:25:20,080 --> 00:25:22,720 Speaker 4: not being comfortable driving with her to another town. After 568 00:25:22,800 --> 00:25:26,760 Speaker 4: everything he said, does it not make you realize how 569 00:25:26,800 --> 00:25:29,240 Speaker 4: wrong this is? If I have to record everything for 570 00:25:29,400 --> 00:25:33,280 Speaker 4: me and my family's safety. She then proceeded to say 571 00:25:33,280 --> 00:25:35,920 Speaker 4: that God would reveal the truth to him and set 572 00:25:36,000 --> 00:25:39,680 Speaker 4: him free because he has the Ahab and Jezebel's spirit. 573 00:25:39,359 --> 00:25:40,960 Speaker 3: In his life. 574 00:25:41,040 --> 00:25:44,160 Speaker 4: For those unfamiliar, this essentially means she believes I am 575 00:25:44,240 --> 00:25:48,960 Speaker 4: a manipulative, deceitful woman leading him into sin Jezebel while 576 00:25:49,000 --> 00:25:52,000 Speaker 4: he is a weak, well, he is weak and passive 577 00:25:52,040 --> 00:25:52,760 Speaker 4: for allowing it. 578 00:25:52,840 --> 00:25:53,320 Speaker 3: Ahab. 579 00:25:53,400 --> 00:25:55,879 Speaker 4: Now, I have apologized to him and her if I 580 00:25:55,920 --> 00:25:58,760 Speaker 4: ever tried to control the situation, but it was hard 581 00:25:58,800 --> 00:25:59,600 Speaker 4: for me to accept that. 582 00:25:59,640 --> 00:26:00,720 Speaker 3: Adam gets yelled. 583 00:26:00,560 --> 00:26:03,760 Speaker 4: At for everything and he just has to take it otherwise, 584 00:26:03,800 --> 00:26:05,720 Speaker 4: He will get a punishment, but now that we have 585 00:26:05,760 --> 00:26:07,880 Speaker 4: a child, I will not back down when things get 586 00:26:07,920 --> 00:26:08,520 Speaker 4: out of hand. 587 00:26:08,640 --> 00:26:12,240 Speaker 2: What's your punishment, I don't know. Yeah, you're an adult 588 00:26:12,280 --> 00:26:14,960 Speaker 2: with a child twenty weeks spanking. 589 00:26:15,440 --> 00:26:17,840 Speaker 4: But one thing she needs to understand is that Adam 590 00:26:17,920 --> 00:26:20,160 Speaker 4: is not weak and not passive anymore. 591 00:26:20,280 --> 00:26:20,800 Speaker 2: You say it. 592 00:26:20,960 --> 00:26:22,760 Speaker 4: He let the things she did go because it was 593 00:26:22,840 --> 00:26:25,879 Speaker 4: easier than trying to defend himself. But now he is 594 00:26:25,920 --> 00:26:29,080 Speaker 4: more adamant with his boundaries and ours. By the way, 595 00:26:29,320 --> 00:26:31,399 Speaker 4: I'm adamant that you can listen to full episodes with 596 00:26:31,440 --> 00:26:34,160 Speaker 4: stories just like this. Just go to Apple Podcasts, Spotify, 597 00:26:34,280 --> 00:26:36,560 Speaker 4: or your favorite podcast app and search up okay story time? 598 00:26:36,640 --> 00:26:39,399 Speaker 4: Are we just being spoiled and unreasonable? Even in that 599 00:26:39,480 --> 00:26:42,439 Speaker 4: first thing, it's like Opi is being gaslet so hard 600 00:26:43,160 --> 00:26:45,360 Speaker 4: that she thinks that that she thinks that this terrible 601 00:26:45,359 --> 00:26:49,359 Speaker 4: behavior is normal. It feels like we cannot have any 602 00:26:49,440 --> 00:26:51,560 Speaker 4: say in anything because they have helped us a lot 603 00:26:51,600 --> 00:26:54,200 Speaker 4: with finances and our daughter, and she let us stay 604 00:26:54,200 --> 00:26:56,199 Speaker 4: in her house even when we got pregnant, and she 605 00:26:56,200 --> 00:26:58,160 Speaker 4: says we're lucky she didn't punt us out. 606 00:26:58,720 --> 00:27:01,120 Speaker 3: It just feels like she's so good distorting. 607 00:27:00,720 --> 00:27:03,320 Speaker 4: Reality and everything that happens, and she does not allow 608 00:27:03,400 --> 00:27:06,000 Speaker 4: us to have any boundaries with our daughter or for ourselves, 609 00:27:06,400 --> 00:27:08,960 Speaker 4: and everyone in our lives are telling us that she's 610 00:27:09,000 --> 00:27:11,840 Speaker 4: trying to make it harder for us. Maybe we are 611 00:27:11,880 --> 00:27:14,240 Speaker 4: just being dramatic, but we need a second opinion or 612 00:27:14,280 --> 00:27:14,800 Speaker 4: a bunch. 613 00:27:15,520 --> 00:27:18,800 Speaker 3: Are we the ales? And that is the end of 614 00:27:18,840 --> 00:27:19,280 Speaker 3: the story. 615 00:27:20,520 --> 00:27:22,800 Speaker 1: Here's janirog host here. We're gonna get back to the stories, 616 00:27:22,840 --> 00:27:24,399 Speaker 1: but here's a quick three minute break of ass from 617 00:27:24,440 --> 00:27:30,320 Speaker 1: our sponsors. My boyfriend sneaked meat into my food, but 618 00:27:30,560 --> 00:27:32,480 Speaker 1: I'm vegetarian. 619 00:27:33,280 --> 00:27:38,200 Speaker 3: Betrayal, betrayal, bizest form, the ultimate betrayal? 620 00:27:38,240 --> 00:27:40,359 Speaker 1: You what are you have fought? What are you in? 621 00:27:40,400 --> 00:27:42,800 Speaker 1: Fifth grade? The guy I'm dating is sort of a 622 00:27:42,800 --> 00:27:46,160 Speaker 1: good old boy. I live in an area where most 623 00:27:46,160 --> 00:27:48,600 Speaker 1: of the guys would probably describe themselves as that phase. 624 00:27:49,200 --> 00:27:51,480 Speaker 1: I am a vegetarian and I have been since I 625 00:27:51,600 --> 00:27:53,600 Speaker 1: tried to unlive a chicken when I was fifteen and 626 00:27:53,640 --> 00:27:56,600 Speaker 1: couldn't go through with it. By the way, this comes 627 00:27:56,600 --> 00:28:00,120 Speaker 1: from user no Meat Please. And if you want to 628 00:28:00,119 --> 00:28:02,200 Speaker 1: make your own stories, go to the r slash Okay 629 00:28:02,200 --> 00:28:07,479 Speaker 1: storytime subreddit and submit them there. So I don't mind 630 00:28:07,680 --> 00:28:10,560 Speaker 1: that other people eat meat, but on a moral level, 631 00:28:10,600 --> 00:28:14,280 Speaker 1: it's not okay for me. I'm not the vegetarian police, 632 00:28:14,800 --> 00:28:17,119 Speaker 1: but I also get tired of having to explain to 633 00:28:17,160 --> 00:28:19,960 Speaker 1: people around here that I do get enough protein. I'm 634 00:28:20,080 --> 00:28:23,399 Speaker 1: small framed and one hundred and eighteen pounds, and that 635 00:28:23,480 --> 00:28:27,800 Speaker 1: I'm not eating vegetables they cooked in lard. My boyfriend 636 00:28:27,840 --> 00:28:31,439 Speaker 1: and for reference here, op is twenty seven female. Her 637 00:28:31,480 --> 00:28:34,760 Speaker 1: boyfriend is thirty male. My boyfriend teases me about being 638 00:28:34,800 --> 00:28:38,880 Speaker 1: a vegetarian, but behind closed doors he is actually really 639 00:28:38,920 --> 00:28:41,080 Speaker 1: accommodating about it, or at least he used to be. 640 00:28:41,600 --> 00:28:44,520 Speaker 1: He cooks meat vegetarian food and says eating less meat 641 00:28:44,760 --> 00:28:47,520 Speaker 1: has helped him take off a couple of pounds. He 642 00:28:47,600 --> 00:28:49,920 Speaker 1: had me and some of his friends over the other night, 643 00:28:49,960 --> 00:28:52,320 Speaker 1: and he made pork chops for them and a big 644 00:28:52,360 --> 00:28:55,280 Speaker 1: old salad for me. While I was eating my salad, 645 00:28:55,320 --> 00:28:59,080 Speaker 1: I kept thinking something was off. The dressing was so 646 00:28:59,320 --> 00:29:03,280 Speaker 1: oily and had a really strong flavor. He always makes 647 00:29:03,280 --> 00:29:05,640 Speaker 1: his own salad dressing, so I asked him what he used. 648 00:29:05,880 --> 00:29:07,560 Speaker 1: We had all been drinking, and at this point his 649 00:29:07,600 --> 00:29:10,400 Speaker 1: two friends start cracking up. I'm sort of clueless, so 650 00:29:10,440 --> 00:29:13,040 Speaker 1: I wait for him to answer. He tells me that 651 00:29:13,080 --> 00:29:15,800 Speaker 1: he mixed in lard for extra flavor and he didn't 652 00:29:15,840 --> 00:29:18,360 Speaker 1: think I would notice. At this point, I just freeze 653 00:29:18,400 --> 00:29:21,320 Speaker 1: mid two. When he sees my reaction, he starts to 654 00:29:21,320 --> 00:29:23,400 Speaker 1: tell me it's not a big deal, it's just a joke, 655 00:29:23,600 --> 00:29:27,360 Speaker 1: don't get upset, etc. I calmly spit the food into 656 00:29:27,360 --> 00:29:30,120 Speaker 1: my napkin, placed the plate down, and got up to leave. 657 00:29:30,560 --> 00:29:34,720 Speaker 1: Everyone's gotten quiet. At this point, his friends start apologizing, 658 00:29:34,800 --> 00:29:37,640 Speaker 1: saying it was their idea, and my boyfriend starts telling 659 00:29:37,680 --> 00:29:40,960 Speaker 1: me not to go f that. I don't say a word, 660 00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:43,960 Speaker 1: and I walk home. I know that vegetarians get a 661 00:29:43,960 --> 00:29:45,920 Speaker 1: bad rap, but believe me when I say I'm not 662 00:29:46,120 --> 00:29:49,400 Speaker 1: one of those people. I work in a rural community 663 00:29:49,440 --> 00:29:52,600 Speaker 1: involving agriculture. I would never survive out here if I was. 664 00:29:53,160 --> 00:29:56,120 Speaker 1: I packed my own lunches for conventions and never make 665 00:29:56,160 --> 00:29:58,280 Speaker 1: a big deal out of it. But having someone I 666 00:29:58,440 --> 00:30:02,240 Speaker 1: care about essentially trick me into eating meat without my 667 00:30:02,320 --> 00:30:06,720 Speaker 1: permission is crossing a huge line for me. I haven't spoken, call, 668 00:30:06,840 --> 00:30:10,640 Speaker 1: or text to him for three days now. He's apologized 669 00:30:10,680 --> 00:30:12,840 Speaker 1: and sent flowers, but in one of the texts he 670 00:30:12,880 --> 00:30:16,080 Speaker 1: told me I was overreacting, which for me was the 671 00:30:16,080 --> 00:30:19,120 Speaker 1: deal breaker. My parents really like him, and when I 672 00:30:19,200 --> 00:30:21,880 Speaker 1: told them what happened, my dad got upset and told 673 00:30:21,920 --> 00:30:23,760 Speaker 1: me I'm making too big of a deal out of 674 00:30:23,760 --> 00:30:27,880 Speaker 1: something silly. He says, I'm letting my ridiculous eating habits 675 00:30:27,920 --> 00:30:32,400 Speaker 1: dictate my life. Reddit, I'm really hurt. I feel like 676 00:30:32,880 --> 00:30:36,200 Speaker 1: tricking me into eating lard was really cruel. But everyone's 677 00:30:36,240 --> 00:30:38,160 Speaker 1: attitude here is that I need to get a sense 678 00:30:38,160 --> 00:30:41,120 Speaker 1: of humor. I'm out of town at a conference and 679 00:30:41,200 --> 00:30:43,200 Speaker 1: I'm going to have to discuss this with him when 680 00:30:43,240 --> 00:30:48,480 Speaker 1: I get back. Am I just being too sensitive? Sideways face? 681 00:30:49,040 --> 00:30:52,800 Speaker 1: There is an edit, but quickly, I'm gonna throw this 682 00:30:52,800 --> 00:30:53,520 Speaker 1: to you, Angie. 683 00:30:54,120 --> 00:30:59,000 Speaker 3: How do you feel I don't think so, because it's 684 00:30:59,080 --> 00:31:02,120 Speaker 3: not about the fact that she ate some lard. It's 685 00:31:02,200 --> 00:31:04,280 Speaker 3: about the fact that he totally. 686 00:31:04,520 --> 00:31:07,160 Speaker 1: Like it's the deception. 687 00:31:07,440 --> 00:31:10,400 Speaker 3: Yeah, absolutely, and that's that's not okay. 688 00:31:10,480 --> 00:31:12,800 Speaker 1: Yeah true, And it's like it was my friend's idea. 689 00:31:12,800 --> 00:31:15,880 Speaker 1: It's like, brother, grow a backbone. You made the salad. 690 00:31:15,920 --> 00:31:18,520 Speaker 1: You could have said no, your friends, You're being stupid. 691 00:31:18,840 --> 00:31:20,960 Speaker 1: Just a fundamental, complete breach of trust. 692 00:31:21,080 --> 00:31:21,640 Speaker 3: Exactly. 693 00:31:21,880 --> 00:31:25,760 Speaker 1: Edit dang I did not believe I would come home 694 00:31:25,800 --> 00:31:28,440 Speaker 1: to all this feedback. Thank you guys so much for 695 00:31:28,480 --> 00:31:31,040 Speaker 1: making me feel like less of a crazy. My dad 696 00:31:31,080 --> 00:31:33,880 Speaker 1: always thought that my vegetarianism was a phase that i'd 697 00:31:33,920 --> 00:31:35,960 Speaker 1: grow out of, but I think he and I are 698 00:31:36,000 --> 00:31:37,680 Speaker 1: going to have a talk when I get back home. 699 00:31:38,160 --> 00:31:41,280 Speaker 1: As for the boyfriend, we're also going to have a talk. 700 00:31:41,680 --> 00:31:44,480 Speaker 1: He's made some other comments that I've let slide about 701 00:31:44,600 --> 00:31:48,640 Speaker 1: cyclists in particular, so it's time for me to lay 702 00:31:48,680 --> 00:31:51,640 Speaker 1: it all out there. Another edit here, I probably should 703 00:31:51,640 --> 00:31:53,760 Speaker 1: have mentioned this in the original. I was leaving the 704 00:31:53,760 --> 00:31:56,680 Speaker 1: following evening for a conference, so I did send him 705 00:31:56,680 --> 00:31:58,400 Speaker 1: a text when I woke up that I was angry 706 00:31:58,440 --> 00:32:01,560 Speaker 1: and didn't want to talk until I got back. And 707 00:32:01,600 --> 00:32:02,680 Speaker 1: here comes the update. 708 00:32:03,200 --> 00:32:05,080 Speaker 3: Oh boy, let's get. 709 00:32:05,000 --> 00:32:09,520 Speaker 1: On into it. Well, we had our little come to 710 00:32:09,600 --> 00:32:12,080 Speaker 1: Jesus talk when I got back about what happened. I 711 00:32:12,120 --> 00:32:15,760 Speaker 1: explained to my boyfriend how tired I was of defending 712 00:32:15,840 --> 00:32:19,640 Speaker 1: being a vegetarian to people. It feels like my social identity, 713 00:32:19,760 --> 00:32:22,280 Speaker 1: Like if someone was trying to describe me to a coworker, 714 00:32:22,320 --> 00:32:25,920 Speaker 1: they'd say, you know, the vegetarian girl. And I really 715 00:32:26,000 --> 00:32:28,960 Speaker 1: dislike that because I never bring it up. And when 716 00:32:29,000 --> 00:32:33,880 Speaker 1: I say defend, I mean you get questions from all over. 717 00:32:34,160 --> 00:32:37,040 Speaker 1: People seriously take you to task. I mean one of 718 00:32:37,040 --> 00:32:39,760 Speaker 1: the commenters on my last thread compared my actions to 719 00:32:39,840 --> 00:32:43,000 Speaker 1: letting a child starve in the third world country. As 720 00:32:43,040 --> 00:32:47,479 Speaker 1: I've gotten older, my defiance flag just doesn't flying as 721 00:32:47,560 --> 00:32:50,200 Speaker 1: high anymore. I don't want to sit down to every 722 00:32:50,280 --> 00:32:52,960 Speaker 1: lunch with co workers and to hear the bad hunter choke, 723 00:32:53,160 --> 00:32:56,040 Speaker 1: or have the rude secretary tell me that she read 724 00:32:56,160 --> 00:33:00,479 Speaker 1: vegetarianism is usually a cover for an eating disorder. So yeah, 725 00:33:00,760 --> 00:33:03,080 Speaker 1: I obviously have a chip on my shoulder about all this. 726 00:33:03,760 --> 00:33:06,160 Speaker 1: Everything I said above I laid out to my boyfriend, 727 00:33:06,480 --> 00:33:09,160 Speaker 1: all of it. He explained he didn't think the joke 728 00:33:09,200 --> 00:33:11,480 Speaker 1: would be a big deal because something similar happened at 729 00:33:11,480 --> 00:33:14,680 Speaker 1: a potluck. One of my friends made a pasta side 730 00:33:14,720 --> 00:33:17,360 Speaker 1: and used chicken stock. She didn't think about it, and 731 00:33:17,400 --> 00:33:20,760 Speaker 1: I couldn't tell when she realized. Later on. I shrugged 732 00:33:21,040 --> 00:33:23,800 Speaker 1: and told her sometimes it happens no reason to be 733 00:33:23,880 --> 00:33:33,080 Speaker 1: angry with an honest mistake, big keywords right there, honest mistake. 734 00:33:33,000 --> 00:33:38,160 Speaker 3: And not yeah we know for a fact that's not true, right, That's. 735 00:33:37,920 --> 00:33:41,920 Speaker 1: Not what your boyfriend did opie. I was pretty exasperated 736 00:33:41,960 --> 00:33:45,160 Speaker 1: by all his comparison and explained the difference using all 737 00:33:45,200 --> 00:33:48,520 Speaker 1: of the examples you guys raised hit very heavy on 738 00:33:48,560 --> 00:33:51,640 Speaker 1: the respect subject. We argued about this for a bit, 739 00:33:51,680 --> 00:33:54,120 Speaker 1: and at one point he said, I basically became a 740 00:33:54,200 --> 00:33:57,960 Speaker 1: vegetarian for you. I bristled up over this comment because 741 00:33:57,960 --> 00:34:02,040 Speaker 1: I've never asked that of him or anyone I've ever dated. 742 00:34:02,640 --> 00:34:06,080 Speaker 1: I also pointed out that he was nowhere near a vegetarian, 743 00:34:06,480 --> 00:34:09,520 Speaker 1: which was admittedly sort of petty. Girl's not petty. You're 744 00:34:09,600 --> 00:34:13,760 Speaker 1: just being like, you just said something that's factually not true. 745 00:34:14,000 --> 00:34:17,440 Speaker 3: Yeah, you're just proving him wrong. It's not petty at all. Yes, 746 00:34:17,719 --> 00:34:18,800 Speaker 3: standing up for yourself. 747 00:34:18,840 --> 00:34:21,680 Speaker 1: He's a babe. I'm basically I with vegetarian for you. 748 00:34:21,680 --> 00:34:24,920 Speaker 1: You're like, you eat meat every day? What are you 749 00:34:25,000 --> 00:34:27,920 Speaker 1: talking about? This went back and forth for a while. 750 00:34:28,040 --> 00:34:30,960 Speaker 1: Finally I just threw my hands up and asked why 751 00:34:31,000 --> 00:34:34,160 Speaker 1: this was such a big deal. Why couldn't we sit 752 00:34:34,280 --> 00:34:37,839 Speaker 1: down and talk about boundaries and move forward. He said 753 00:34:37,840 --> 00:34:40,480 Speaker 1: he was worried about the future. He wants marriage, kids, 754 00:34:40,480 --> 00:34:42,839 Speaker 1: and a stay at home mom. His mom told him 755 00:34:42,840 --> 00:34:45,040 Speaker 1: that I need to eat meat during the pregnancy for 756 00:34:45,120 --> 00:34:47,879 Speaker 1: the baby to develop properly, and that the kids need 757 00:34:47,920 --> 00:34:50,480 Speaker 1: to eat meat to grow up big and strong. I 758 00:34:50,600 --> 00:34:54,080 Speaker 1: just stared at him, mouth open, completely blanked out. He 759 00:34:54,080 --> 00:34:55,799 Speaker 1: said that he loved me, but it was time for 760 00:34:55,840 --> 00:34:59,279 Speaker 1: me to grow up and compromise. Honestly, I didn't know 761 00:34:59,320 --> 00:35:01,919 Speaker 1: what to say. This was the first time he'd said 762 00:35:01,960 --> 00:35:04,640 Speaker 1: he loved me, but he was also talking about a 763 00:35:04,680 --> 00:35:07,840 Speaker 1: future that I didn't remember signing up for. I'm pretty 764 00:35:07,920 --> 00:35:11,279 Speaker 1: lukewarm on kids, and I definitely have no interest in 765 00:35:11,360 --> 00:35:15,319 Speaker 1: being a stay at home mom and compromise. What are 766 00:35:15,320 --> 00:35:19,000 Speaker 1: you talking about. You can be vegetarian while pregnant and 767 00:35:19,120 --> 00:35:23,160 Speaker 1: have a perfectly healthy child. I think I was just overwhelmed, 768 00:35:23,200 --> 00:35:25,440 Speaker 1: and I said something along the lines of I think 769 00:35:25,520 --> 00:35:28,960 Speaker 1: you have the wrong girl, and I went home pretty defeated. 770 00:35:29,320 --> 00:35:32,320 Speaker 3: Yeah, it sounds like it. Also, my mom was vegan 771 00:35:32,400 --> 00:35:34,600 Speaker 3: when she had me. Or like, what, she's pregnant me 772 00:35:34,640 --> 00:35:37,920 Speaker 3: and look how perfect. 773 00:35:37,960 --> 00:35:40,000 Speaker 1: She's made it all the way to twenty two. 774 00:35:40,160 --> 00:35:41,920 Speaker 3: Whoo. Yeah. 775 00:35:42,080 --> 00:35:44,360 Speaker 1: The next night I went to talk to my dad 776 00:35:44,480 --> 00:35:47,880 Speaker 1: about what he said. Initially, he claimed he was worried 777 00:35:47,920 --> 00:35:51,000 Speaker 1: for my health and brought up my bad run with veganism, 778 00:35:51,880 --> 00:35:55,400 Speaker 1: fair point, whoa calling out your mom immediately. 779 00:35:55,000 --> 00:35:58,960 Speaker 3: Whoa, whoa there was going on here. 780 00:36:00,200 --> 00:36:03,600 Speaker 1: But after some poking and prodding, he finally said, I'm 781 00:36:03,719 --> 00:36:08,920 Speaker 1: just worried you're never going to find someone. Sigh. Deep down, 782 00:36:09,000 --> 00:36:11,799 Speaker 1: I think I knew that was his main concern. All 783 00:36:11,840 --> 00:36:13,920 Speaker 1: the rest of my siblings are married and have children, 784 00:36:13,960 --> 00:36:16,920 Speaker 1: so I'm already the odd man out. Add onto that 785 00:36:17,040 --> 00:36:23,040 Speaker 1: the liberalism, the college degree, the atheism, the vegetarianism, irog. 786 00:36:24,280 --> 00:36:26,759 Speaker 1: I told him that my boyfriend and I broke up 787 00:36:26,960 --> 00:36:30,080 Speaker 1: and burst immediately into tears. But he gave me a 788 00:36:30,080 --> 00:36:32,600 Speaker 1: big hug and told me he supported and loved me, 789 00:36:32,920 --> 00:36:35,400 Speaker 1: but he wanted to be able at the end of 790 00:36:35,440 --> 00:36:37,879 Speaker 1: his life to know I would have someone to take 791 00:36:37,920 --> 00:36:40,680 Speaker 1: care of me. I went home and stared at a 792 00:36:40,719 --> 00:36:44,839 Speaker 1: wall for three hours. Oh my gosh, that's a lot 793 00:36:44,920 --> 00:36:48,080 Speaker 1: to process. But you can stare at a wall for 794 00:36:48,120 --> 00:36:51,839 Speaker 1: three hours and listen to full episodes of stories like this. 795 00:36:52,600 --> 00:36:54,440 Speaker 1: You can also do other stuff. You don't have to 796 00:36:54,440 --> 00:36:55,960 Speaker 1: stare at the wall for three hours, but if you 797 00:36:56,080 --> 00:37:00,160 Speaker 1: just go But to make it even better, right, if 798 00:37:00,200 --> 00:37:04,359 Speaker 1: you just go to your podcast platform choice, be that iHeartRadio, 799 00:37:04,520 --> 00:37:08,319 Speaker 1: Apple podcast, Spotify, whatever. Just search okay, story time, and 800 00:37:08,360 --> 00:37:14,440 Speaker 1: there you will find a plethora of episodes to peruse 801 00:37:15,080 --> 00:37:18,600 Speaker 1: and choose at your leisure. Okay, and we do have 802 00:37:18,680 --> 00:37:22,000 Speaker 1: a little bit of story left here. I think I'm 803 00:37:22,000 --> 00:37:25,480 Speaker 1: just gonna dive into it here for I'm okay, but 804 00:37:25,560 --> 00:37:28,000 Speaker 1: I'm still sorting all my feelings out. I had a 805 00:37:28,040 --> 00:37:31,800 Speaker 1: heavy night of whiskey drinking, a long morning of yakking, 806 00:37:32,040 --> 00:37:36,319 Speaker 1: and then I bought some anti aging cream. Nice. My 807 00:37:36,400 --> 00:37:38,760 Speaker 1: friends are taking me on a trip next week, which 808 00:37:38,840 --> 00:37:41,640 Speaker 1: I am really looking forward to. And that's about it. 809 00:37:41,800 --> 00:37:44,560 Speaker 1: And there's a little edit here. You guys, reading all 810 00:37:44,560 --> 00:37:47,719 Speaker 1: these comments made me teary eyed. Thank you. I live 811 00:37:48,160 --> 00:37:52,319 Speaker 1: in rural Mississippi, helping run a four age extension program. 812 00:37:52,440 --> 00:37:55,399 Speaker 1: The work is so rewarding, but the city itself, eh. 813 00:37:56,400 --> 00:37:59,520 Speaker 1: My parents live in Alabama, and my family is scattered 814 00:37:59,520 --> 00:38:02,400 Speaker 1: in Alaba. I'm a Georgia and Kentucky. I was trying 815 00:38:02,440 --> 00:38:05,040 Speaker 1: to find an article about the values around here, but 816 00:38:05,120 --> 00:38:08,520 Speaker 1: I found this video instead, and it is linked. I'm 817 00:38:08,560 --> 00:38:10,720 Speaker 1: not sure if it's the best example, but it'll probably 818 00:38:10,760 --> 00:38:13,839 Speaker 1: give you a better idea on how conservative the Deep 819 00:38:13,920 --> 00:38:20,360 Speaker 1: South is. Well, that is the end. Of that story. Wow, Wow, 820 00:38:20,520 --> 00:38:23,120 Speaker 1: it gets pretty conservative down here in a belt. That's 821 00:38:23,120 --> 00:38:26,360 Speaker 1: what I've heard. Yep, it can be it can certainly 822 00:38:26,400 --> 00:38:26,880 Speaker 1: be very. 823 00:38:28,239 --> 00:38:30,160 Speaker 3: I'm glad this she's going on the trip, glad that 824 00:38:30,280 --> 00:38:32,759 Speaker 3: the comments are supporting her. Yes, they're gonna look up. 825 00:38:32,800 --> 00:38:34,920 Speaker 3: You're gonna find someone who is much better than this 826 00:38:35,000 --> 00:38:38,840 Speaker 3: guy than this this crazy. Yeah. 827 00:38:39,000 --> 00:38:41,600 Speaker 1: You just enjoy your life. You don't have to hunt 828 00:38:41,640 --> 00:38:44,959 Speaker 1: for it. When when the right thing comes along, you'll 829 00:38:44,960 --> 00:38:48,200 Speaker 1: know it, and it will come along and all you 830 00:38:48,440 --> 00:38:50,600 Speaker 1: have to do is be open to it when it happens. 831 00:38:51,800 --> 00:38:56,040 Speaker 3: My roommate's girlfriend berated my large just girlfriend for not 832 00:38:56,200 --> 00:38:56,600 Speaker 3: wearing a. 833 00:38:56,600 --> 00:39:00,880 Speaker 1: Bra at her own home, my house. That's my rules. 834 00:39:01,360 --> 00:39:05,920 Speaker 3: Get out of here, leave her bed, let her hang freely. 835 00:39:06,200 --> 00:39:09,480 Speaker 3: So roommate himself is twenty three male. We have a 836 00:39:09,600 --> 00:39:12,720 Speaker 3: very quiet and comfortable living situation. I lived with Troy 837 00:39:12,760 --> 00:39:15,960 Speaker 3: the roommate for about a year before Hannah girlfriend moved in. 838 00:39:16,400 --> 00:39:19,560 Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from Big Boopit Girlfriend for 839 00:39:19,760 --> 00:39:22,640 Speaker 3: to four and if you want to submit your own stories, 840 00:39:22,880 --> 00:39:25,719 Speaker 3: go to the our slash Okay story time sepread it. 841 00:39:25,719 --> 00:39:28,719 Speaker 3: It was an unexpected permanent move rather than temporary, but 842 00:39:28,840 --> 00:39:31,640 Speaker 3: everyone gets along, and in the fact, and in fact, 843 00:39:31,800 --> 00:39:34,319 Speaker 3: Troy and I are closer because Hannah is the type 844 00:39:34,320 --> 00:39:37,040 Speaker 3: of girl who is very outgoing and brings quiet, shy 845 00:39:37,080 --> 00:39:41,880 Speaker 3: people out of their shelves. Hannah's front airbags are very large. Nice, 846 00:39:41,960 --> 00:39:45,400 Speaker 3: that's a great way to put it. They seem even 847 00:39:45,520 --> 00:39:47,960 Speaker 3: larger than they may be due to the fact that 848 00:39:48,040 --> 00:39:51,680 Speaker 3: Hannah is only four eleven. Oh my lord, this is 849 00:39:51,840 --> 00:39:52,640 Speaker 3: a great story. 850 00:39:52,719 --> 00:39:53,359 Speaker 1: Oh my god. 851 00:39:53,400 --> 00:39:58,160 Speaker 3: Wait yet, four eleven's teen tiny whoa with some big bazangas. 852 00:39:58,520 --> 00:40:03,600 Speaker 3: She jokes that she's two thirds front airbag. Even her 853 00:40:03,719 --> 00:40:05,759 Speaker 3: biggest bras say thirty. 854 00:40:05,440 --> 00:40:10,440 Speaker 1: Two k what like thirty two carrots? What is it 855 00:40:10,560 --> 00:40:13,960 Speaker 1: solid gold? Because I know that that's not that's not real. 856 00:40:14,360 --> 00:40:15,120 Speaker 1: That's not real. 857 00:40:15,760 --> 00:40:18,840 Speaker 3: Never have I heard last time I heard of like 858 00:40:18,719 --> 00:40:22,640 Speaker 3: the biggest process I'd heard of last was h But 859 00:40:23,719 --> 00:40:26,280 Speaker 3: h ijk that's. 860 00:40:26,160 --> 00:40:30,840 Speaker 1: Three letters above. This is crazy. She's two thirds boob. 861 00:40:31,800 --> 00:40:36,440 Speaker 3: What it is the smallest say thirty two double g. 862 00:40:37,520 --> 00:40:40,239 Speaker 3: She's typically modest with them as she doesn't enjoy a 863 00:40:40,280 --> 00:40:42,799 Speaker 3: lot of male attention. My heart goes out to you 864 00:40:42,840 --> 00:40:47,040 Speaker 3: and your back and your back holding up those big pasangas. 865 00:40:47,120 --> 00:40:49,719 Speaker 3: Oh my god, not that I try to, but if 866 00:40:49,719 --> 00:40:51,960 Speaker 3: I were to ask her to wear something revealing, I 867 00:40:52,000 --> 00:40:54,240 Speaker 3: don't even know that she'd have anything in her closet. 868 00:40:55,040 --> 00:40:58,120 Speaker 3: She typically takes off her bra in the evening. Troy 869 00:40:58,280 --> 00:41:00,880 Speaker 3: usually stays in his room and doesn't really socialized with 870 00:41:00,960 --> 00:41:03,080 Speaker 3: us most of the time. No negativity, He's just a 871 00:41:03,120 --> 00:41:06,880 Speaker 3: loner type. Anytime he does come out, we all chat happily. 872 00:41:07,600 --> 00:41:11,240 Speaker 3: There's never been any complaint about her bralessness. For the record, 873 00:41:11,400 --> 00:41:14,680 Speaker 3: I can definitely say that Hannah isn't Troy's physical type. 874 00:41:14,920 --> 00:41:18,480 Speaker 3: Jesus size sixteen, and he has a big preverence for 875 00:41:18,640 --> 00:41:22,320 Speaker 3: some very skinny women, not fit, but just very skinny, 876 00:41:22,480 --> 00:41:24,759 Speaker 3: So I honestly doubt that he's looked at Hannah in 877 00:41:24,800 --> 00:41:27,600 Speaker 3: any spicy related way to begin with, not to mention. 878 00:41:27,800 --> 00:41:30,879 Speaker 3: Like I said, she's genuinely modest and doesn't have them 879 00:41:30,920 --> 00:41:34,680 Speaker 3: flopping around or anything. Troy and his girlfriend Jenna are 880 00:41:34,680 --> 00:41:37,240 Speaker 3: a new thing of the past four months. He's brought 881 00:41:37,239 --> 00:41:39,279 Speaker 3: her over and we all hung out, and Jenna and 882 00:41:39,320 --> 00:41:42,400 Speaker 3: Hannah got along extremely well. But a few days after, 883 00:41:42,600 --> 00:41:45,399 Speaker 3: Jenna sent Hannah a message on Facebook asking her if 884 00:41:45,400 --> 00:41:48,640 Speaker 3: she'd mind wearing a bra when Troy was around citing 885 00:41:48,680 --> 00:41:53,320 Speaker 3: that it was inappropriate and kind of sleazy. Oh no, 886 00:41:53,320 --> 00:41:58,160 Speaker 3: now she's just saying that it's sleazy. Just have no bra. 887 00:41:58,640 --> 00:42:00,920 Speaker 1: That's not fair. That's not fair. 888 00:42:01,000 --> 00:42:04,279 Speaker 3: That's so not fair. That's so not fair. Hannah just 889 00:42:04,320 --> 00:42:08,920 Speaker 3: shrugged it off and said sure, why not, So to compromise, 890 00:42:09,000 --> 00:42:12,960 Speaker 3: she started wearing a very flimsy sports bra. Things seemed 891 00:42:13,000 --> 00:42:15,640 Speaker 3: like they were fine until Jenna came over again and 892 00:42:15,719 --> 00:42:18,000 Speaker 3: Hannah just happened to be coming home from the gym, 893 00:42:18,560 --> 00:42:21,440 Speaker 3: was walking between our bedroom and the bathroom without a brawn, 894 00:42:21,680 --> 00:42:26,560 Speaker 3: but was otherwise clothed. Jenna lost her crap and started 895 00:42:26,680 --> 00:42:30,680 Speaker 3: yelling at Troy about this and then called Hannah a tramp, 896 00:42:30,920 --> 00:42:32,240 Speaker 3: a sleeze, etc. 897 00:42:32,760 --> 00:42:38,280 Speaker 1: Oh wow, relas, she's just crazy. Man, Where is Troy, Troy? 898 00:42:38,320 --> 00:42:40,880 Speaker 1: Where are you, Troy? This person needs to be exiled 899 00:42:40,960 --> 00:42:43,480 Speaker 1: from your domicile if she's gonna be saying this stuff. 900 00:42:43,600 --> 00:42:47,480 Speaker 3: Absolutely, she's just like a jealous person in general, and 901 00:42:47,520 --> 00:42:50,640 Speaker 3: then it's extremely more jealous now that she's got this 902 00:42:50,640 --> 00:42:53,040 Speaker 3: this person around. She brought up the way that she 903 00:42:53,160 --> 00:42:55,680 Speaker 3: lopes around and dresses and lets her butt hang out, 904 00:42:55,719 --> 00:42:59,440 Speaker 3: et cetera. I'll admit that sometimes Hannah's dresses right up 905 00:42:59,440 --> 00:43:01,719 Speaker 3: when she's ground on the couch with the book, which 906 00:43:01,800 --> 00:43:04,719 Speaker 3: is pretty much always, but since day one, anytime she 907 00:43:04,760 --> 00:43:07,359 Speaker 3: heard Troy moving around the apartment closer to the living room, 908 00:43:07,560 --> 00:43:10,600 Speaker 3: she sits up and straightens herself out to cover herself up. 909 00:43:11,080 --> 00:43:13,719 Speaker 3: She does not like being looked at by men. Like 910 00:43:13,840 --> 00:43:17,319 Speaker 3: I said, Hannah didn't hear anything because she was in 911 00:43:17,360 --> 00:43:19,480 Speaker 3: the shower, and when she got out, she asked where 912 00:43:19,520 --> 00:43:21,640 Speaker 3: Jenna went, and I had to explain that they had 913 00:43:21,640 --> 00:43:25,319 Speaker 3: a fight. Hannah asked what happened, and Troy told her 914 00:43:25,360 --> 00:43:30,080 Speaker 3: that it was just nothing. Jenna ripped into Hannah on Facebook, 915 00:43:30,239 --> 00:43:32,400 Speaker 3: calling her all kinds of names and telling her that 916 00:43:32,480 --> 00:43:36,920 Speaker 3: she's trying to steal Troy from her. Hannah was hurt, 917 00:43:37,760 --> 00:43:39,839 Speaker 3: and she went to Troy to apologize about the bra 918 00:43:40,000 --> 00:43:42,080 Speaker 3: thing and asked him if he's always had a problem 919 00:43:42,120 --> 00:43:45,719 Speaker 3: with it, and Troy said something like I didn't even 920 00:43:45,800 --> 00:43:48,319 Speaker 3: know I was supposed to care. I don't know how 921 00:43:48,360 --> 00:43:50,960 Speaker 3: to handle this. Obviously, I'd prefer my girlfriend to be 922 00:43:50,960 --> 00:43:53,319 Speaker 3: comfortable and not be attacked, but I do want to 923 00:43:53,360 --> 00:43:57,839 Speaker 3: know Jenna's tiraight aside. Is it inappropriate for her to 924 00:43:57,880 --> 00:44:00,080 Speaker 3: not wear a bra in her own home, and I 925 00:44:00,160 --> 00:44:02,440 Speaker 3: do have an update, But what's her answer to that? 926 00:44:03,000 --> 00:44:06,600 Speaker 3: It's your home, it's your home. I think that's kind 927 00:44:06,640 --> 00:44:09,880 Speaker 3: of the thing where it's like it's like people with 928 00:44:10,360 --> 00:44:14,560 Speaker 3: smaller airbags have like they can wear like like v 929 00:44:14,640 --> 00:44:16,400 Speaker 3: Nex and stuff, and it's like it's not a problem, 930 00:44:16,520 --> 00:44:18,960 Speaker 3: nothing is showing, you know. But then it's it's with 931 00:44:19,080 --> 00:44:22,319 Speaker 3: people who've you know, got larger bra sizes. It's kind 932 00:44:22,320 --> 00:44:24,560 Speaker 3: of like, well, you don't really have a choice to, like, 933 00:44:25,120 --> 00:44:26,800 Speaker 3: you gotta show cleavage if you want to wear that 934 00:44:26,880 --> 00:44:29,000 Speaker 3: kind of thing. It's kind of just like it's not 935 00:44:29,080 --> 00:44:31,920 Speaker 3: their fault. It's just unfair that that's just how it is. 936 00:44:32,239 --> 00:44:34,960 Speaker 1: I really hope Troy breaks up. I really hope Troy 937 00:44:34,960 --> 00:44:35,560 Speaker 1: breaks up with her. 938 00:44:35,600 --> 00:44:37,919 Speaker 3: Me too, Me too. A few things to address before 939 00:44:37,960 --> 00:44:40,600 Speaker 3: I go into the actual update. I did not confront 940 00:44:40,680 --> 00:44:43,560 Speaker 3: Jenna when she was going on on her tirade because 941 00:44:43,640 --> 00:44:46,080 Speaker 3: they were in Troy's bedroom. I have no reason to 942 00:44:46,120 --> 00:44:48,359 Speaker 3: barge into someone else's bedroom to start a fight. You 943 00:44:48,400 --> 00:44:50,920 Speaker 3: can stop with the pitchforks about how I was awful 944 00:44:51,000 --> 00:44:53,560 Speaker 3: for not immediately wrestling Jenna to the floor in a 945 00:44:53,600 --> 00:44:56,799 Speaker 3: show of manliness. Waiting for the event to pass was 946 00:44:56,840 --> 00:44:59,719 Speaker 3: a much better way to handle this. Hannah does not 947 00:44:59,840 --> 00:45:02,040 Speaker 3: need you to tell her that she's wearing the wrong 948 00:45:02,160 --> 00:45:05,120 Speaker 3: size bra. She has been to a bra that fits 949 00:45:05,320 --> 00:45:09,200 Speaker 3: for fit checks, and she measures herself frequently and knows 950 00:45:09,239 --> 00:45:12,400 Speaker 3: what works on her body. She has a wide range 951 00:45:12,440 --> 00:45:15,320 Speaker 3: of sizes from when she was figuring out her fit size. 952 00:45:15,840 --> 00:45:18,160 Speaker 3: If the measurements really don't make sense to you, I 953 00:45:18,239 --> 00:45:20,480 Speaker 3: can't help you. All I can say is that she's 954 00:45:20,520 --> 00:45:24,520 Speaker 3: a fat bottom girl. And don't we know that they 955 00:45:24,600 --> 00:45:31,799 Speaker 3: make the world go around? Have I right to go to? Yeah? 956 00:45:32,080 --> 00:45:35,680 Speaker 3: So to the actual update, I talked to Troy about 957 00:45:35,760 --> 00:45:38,440 Speaker 3: Jenna's outburst. He said that he would handle it and 958 00:45:38,680 --> 00:45:41,600 Speaker 3: he was extremely apologetic and said that it would not 959 00:45:41,800 --> 00:45:44,439 Speaker 3: happen again. He said that he was glad Hannah didn't 960 00:45:44,480 --> 00:45:46,560 Speaker 3: hear Jenna's tirade, and I agreed that it was for 961 00:45:46,600 --> 00:45:49,840 Speaker 3: the best if we tried to handle this maturely. Hannah 962 00:45:49,920 --> 00:45:52,640 Speaker 3: was still hurt from Jenna's comments on Facebook, but Troy 963 00:45:52,680 --> 00:45:56,319 Speaker 3: asked Jenna to apologize, and that's what happened. We let 964 00:45:56,360 --> 00:45:58,920 Speaker 3: Troy know that Jenna wouldn't be allowed over again if 965 00:45:58,920 --> 00:46:02,319 Speaker 3: she continued to behave like that. He agreed and said 966 00:46:02,360 --> 00:46:05,040 Speaker 3: that he would be reconsidering their relationship. 967 00:46:05,160 --> 00:46:05,799 Speaker 1: Oo, let's go. 968 00:46:05,920 --> 00:46:10,400 Speaker 3: Let's freak go, Let's freaking go. Sometime past and here 969 00:46:10,440 --> 00:46:13,200 Speaker 3: we are, Hannah has gone back to just being comfortable 970 00:46:13,239 --> 00:46:16,360 Speaker 3: in her own home, taking her broth when she gets home. 971 00:46:16,760 --> 00:46:19,720 Speaker 3: She is respectful of Jenna and Troy's space and where's 972 00:46:19,719 --> 00:46:23,520 Speaker 3: a broth? Jenna is over? But things changed the other night. 973 00:46:24,200 --> 00:46:26,359 Speaker 3: Hannah and I were cooking dinner. When Jenna came over 974 00:46:26,440 --> 00:46:28,560 Speaker 3: to wait for Troy. She hung out in the kitchen 975 00:46:28,600 --> 00:46:30,400 Speaker 3: and talked to Hannah. They seem to get along a 976 00:46:30,400 --> 00:46:33,640 Speaker 3: little better. At least. Hannah is very sweet and doesn't 977 00:46:33,680 --> 00:46:36,960 Speaker 3: hold many grudges. I was chopping up Brussels sprouts to 978 00:46:37,040 --> 00:46:39,840 Speaker 3: roast while Hannah was making some herb and palm crusted 979 00:46:39,920 --> 00:46:44,439 Speaker 3: chicken or something and some cucumber tomato salad that I love. 980 00:46:44,920 --> 00:46:48,239 Speaker 3: She coated some huge chicken breasts that she pounded, and 981 00:46:48,280 --> 00:46:51,880 Speaker 3: that's when Jenna piped up and said something like, Wow, 982 00:46:51,960 --> 00:46:54,640 Speaker 3: that's so much food. You're not gonna eat all that, 983 00:46:54,960 --> 00:46:59,920 Speaker 3: are you? To Hannah? Ha ha, That's like, my god, 984 00:47:00,000 --> 00:47:03,480 Speaker 3: how much food You're not like going to eat that? Right? 985 00:47:04,120 --> 00:47:07,560 Speaker 3: Hannah laughed and said, yeah, she was going to eat 986 00:47:07,560 --> 00:47:11,280 Speaker 3: it all. It was her dinner. Jenna scoffed and made 987 00:47:11,280 --> 00:47:14,279 Speaker 3: some comment like that's so much food. I could never 988 00:47:14,360 --> 00:47:19,759 Speaker 3: eat that much. But well look at me. Ah, you're 989 00:47:19,800 --> 00:47:25,239 Speaker 3: literally that's crazy. You know what she needs to do 990 00:47:25,440 --> 00:47:28,880 Speaker 3: And I don't know if this is necessarily, but she 991 00:47:28,920 --> 00:47:32,200 Speaker 3: needs with her with her thirty two k bra. She 992 00:47:32,239 --> 00:47:42,320 Speaker 3: just needs to go knock her out with her knock 993 00:47:42,360 --> 00:47:44,279 Speaker 3: her down, dude, Yeah, it takes. 994 00:47:44,080 --> 00:47:46,160 Speaker 1: One blow knock her down. 995 00:47:47,200 --> 00:47:51,920 Speaker 3: Ah. She got up to try to get our attention 996 00:47:52,040 --> 00:47:58,719 Speaker 3: and show off her figure. Boom didn't say anything, but 997 00:47:58,800 --> 00:48:00,719 Speaker 3: I could tell but the look on her that she 998 00:48:00,880 --> 00:48:05,000 Speaker 3: was starting to panic. Hannah has a long history with 999 00:48:05,120 --> 00:48:08,600 Speaker 3: the ede ns and one of her only triggers is 1000 00:48:08,640 --> 00:48:11,960 Speaker 3: people paying attention to what she eats like that. Yeah, 1001 00:48:12,000 --> 00:48:14,680 Speaker 3: that's like a that's so bad for you to do. 1002 00:48:14,840 --> 00:48:16,000 Speaker 1: Come on, man. 1003 00:48:16,920 --> 00:48:18,840 Speaker 3: She used to not be able to eat at restaurants 1004 00:48:18,840 --> 00:48:21,719 Speaker 3: because she was afraid of people judging her. Jenna took 1005 00:48:21,719 --> 00:48:23,840 Speaker 3: it a step further and said something about how she 1006 00:48:23,920 --> 00:48:26,680 Speaker 3: goes to the gym every day because she loves keeping 1007 00:48:26,719 --> 00:48:30,360 Speaker 3: her figure and she knows Troy loves it. She pointedly 1008 00:48:30,480 --> 00:48:32,719 Speaker 3: asked Hannah when the last time she went to the 1009 00:48:32,800 --> 00:48:34,880 Speaker 3: gym was, and then asked me if I thought Hannah 1010 00:48:34,880 --> 00:48:38,360 Speaker 3: should do some kind of yoga or something. Wow, it 1011 00:48:38,560 --> 00:48:39,400 Speaker 3: just keeps going. 1012 00:48:39,680 --> 00:48:41,640 Speaker 1: Man. If she has me that, I'd be like, I 1013 00:48:41,640 --> 00:48:44,200 Speaker 1: think you need to shut your big, stupid mouth. Girl, 1014 00:48:44,560 --> 00:48:45,560 Speaker 1: get out of my apartment. 1015 00:48:45,880 --> 00:48:48,799 Speaker 3: She made some comment about how sad it is when 1016 00:48:48,840 --> 00:48:52,920 Speaker 3: girls let themselves go after they get boyfriends. For the record, 1017 00:48:53,239 --> 00:48:56,560 Speaker 3: Hannah didn't. I was starting to get very angry because 1018 00:48:56,600 --> 00:48:58,680 Speaker 3: it sounded like she was implying that I do not 1019 00:48:58,840 --> 00:49:01,680 Speaker 3: love Hannah's figure or something. I put my hand on 1020 00:49:01,719 --> 00:49:04,120 Speaker 3: Hannah's shoulder and told her to go to our bedroom 1021 00:49:04,440 --> 00:49:10,040 Speaker 3: I could finish up. Oooh, I feel I feel fun coming. 1022 00:49:12,080 --> 00:49:15,280 Speaker 3: She had the fakest smile and said good night to Jenna. 1023 00:49:16,160 --> 00:49:19,960 Speaker 3: I let Jenna have it. I don't want to go 1024 00:49:20,120 --> 00:49:23,200 Speaker 3: into what I said because it was not my best moment. No, please, 1025 00:49:23,239 --> 00:49:26,440 Speaker 3: please go into it. But I could not accept her 1026 00:49:26,520 --> 00:49:30,799 Speaker 3: trying to intimidate or make Hannah feel bad. I especially 1027 00:49:30,880 --> 00:49:33,600 Speaker 3: could not take her implying at all that I wasn't 1028 00:49:33,640 --> 00:49:37,799 Speaker 3: attracted to Hannah. It all felt too surreal. I never 1029 00:49:37,880 --> 00:49:40,400 Speaker 3: met someone who would just say mean things about a 1030 00:49:40,400 --> 00:49:43,520 Speaker 3: girl who was perfectly nice to her like that, especially 1031 00:49:43,680 --> 00:49:46,680 Speaker 3: not about her weight. Jenna left and told me that 1032 00:49:46,719 --> 00:49:49,719 Speaker 3: she was going to have a talk with Troy. I 1033 00:49:49,800 --> 00:49:53,080 Speaker 3: consoled Hannah, who said she was okay, but ended up 1034 00:49:53,120 --> 00:49:58,000 Speaker 3: not eating dinner. Oh no, we watched some TV together, 1035 00:49:58,160 --> 00:50:01,240 Speaker 3: and about two hours later, Troy come. He just stands 1036 00:50:01,239 --> 00:50:02,959 Speaker 3: in the doorway and looks at us, and he looks 1037 00:50:03,040 --> 00:50:08,200 Speaker 3: right at Hannah and says, I broke up with her. Yes, yes, Troy. Yeah, 1038 00:50:08,239 --> 00:50:12,160 Speaker 3: we love Troy. Oh, he continues, I'm so sorry she 1039 00:50:12,320 --> 00:50:15,840 Speaker 3: is never coming back. Yeah, we love Troy. And you 1040 00:50:15,880 --> 00:50:18,040 Speaker 3: know what Troy would love. You know what I bet 1041 00:50:18,160 --> 00:50:18,759 Speaker 3: Troy would like. 1042 00:50:18,840 --> 00:50:20,799 Speaker 1: I know Troy's doing it right now, dude. 1043 00:50:20,560 --> 00:50:23,480 Speaker 3: I know. I just know that Troy is listening to 1044 00:50:23,560 --> 00:50:28,800 Speaker 3: full episodes with more stories just like this one on iHeartRadio, Spotify, 1045 00:50:28,840 --> 00:50:33,240 Speaker 3: Apple Podcast, whatever. So he chooses okay whatever he loves, 1046 00:50:34,160 --> 00:50:37,440 Speaker 3: and he's searching Okay story time. He's listened to more 1047 00:50:37,520 --> 00:50:38,360 Speaker 3: stories just like this. 1048 00:50:38,840 --> 00:50:42,359 Speaker 1: All it takes is one search Okay story Time and 1049 00:50:42,440 --> 00:50:46,239 Speaker 1: you you've got fifty days worth of stories. 1050 00:50:45,920 --> 00:50:46,840 Speaker 2: To listen to. 1051 00:50:46,840 --> 00:50:49,439 Speaker 3: Just search Okay Storytime and you can be like Troy too, 1052 00:50:52,000 --> 00:50:55,239 Speaker 3: but there is a little bit more. She would just 1053 00:50:55,360 --> 00:50:55,759 Speaker 3: jump in. 1054 00:50:55,880 --> 00:50:58,120 Speaker 1: Yeah, I think let's get in it. I think we're 1055 00:50:58,360 --> 00:50:59,439 Speaker 1: in consensus here. 1056 00:50:59,600 --> 00:51:04,080 Speaker 3: Yeah, Jenna is gone and done. Troy later said that 1057 00:51:04,160 --> 00:51:07,640 Speaker 3: Jenna was convinced that Hannah was trying to steal him 1058 00:51:07,880 --> 00:51:10,319 Speaker 3: and that she was just jealous of her body. It 1059 00:51:10,400 --> 00:51:12,960 Speaker 3: was all because one day when Jenna came over and 1060 00:51:13,000 --> 00:51:16,200 Speaker 3: Hannah gushed over the dress she was wearing, Jenna thought 1061 00:51:16,239 --> 00:51:18,320 Speaker 3: that that meant she was in love with her or something. 1062 00:51:18,640 --> 00:51:21,479 Speaker 3: I have no idea where this came from. It's never 1063 00:51:21,560 --> 00:51:23,960 Speaker 3: about the bra I guess, yeah, and that's the end 1064 00:51:23,960 --> 00:51:24,480 Speaker 3: of that story. 1065 00:51:24,560 --> 00:51:29,080 Speaker 1: It's just because Jenna's terrible and it's so insecure. She 1066 00:51:29,239 --> 00:51:31,200 Speaker 1: can't allow other people to exist. 1067 00:51:31,520 --> 00:51:33,799 Speaker 3: Honestly, I feel like with just so many things like 1068 00:51:33,840 --> 00:51:36,399 Speaker 3: this too. Wait, it's like about the weight and it's 1069 00:51:36,440 --> 00:51:41,240 Speaker 3: all this like super like superficial things that someone's projecting. 1070 00:51:41,280 --> 00:51:45,120 Speaker 3: It's like I actually heard someone like talk about it, 1071 00:51:45,160 --> 00:51:48,200 Speaker 3: and it was like people like that have some sort 1072 00:51:48,239 --> 00:51:51,840 Speaker 3: of shame inside themselves that they can't be like whatever 1073 00:51:51,960 --> 00:51:54,359 Speaker 3: they're mad about, they can't have this certain body type 1074 00:51:54,400 --> 00:51:56,719 Speaker 3: or whatever. They can't not go to the gym and 1075 00:51:56,800 --> 00:52:00,319 Speaker 3: like let themselves go or whatever. And so when they 1076 00:52:00,360 --> 00:52:02,799 Speaker 3: see people who are comfortably living like that because it's 1077 00:52:02,840 --> 00:52:06,120 Speaker 3: not an issue, they get mad and then they project 1078 00:52:06,200 --> 00:52:06,560 Speaker 3: like this. 1079 00:52:06,520 --> 00:52:10,680 Speaker 1: Yeah, that is a super interesting that's Hannah psychological concept there, right. 1080 00:52:10,719 --> 00:52:13,640 Speaker 3: Yeah, but by good Androy. 1081 00:52:13,280 --> 00:52:16,480 Speaker 1: Good on Troy. Because it's over. It's over, just like 1082 00:52:16,520 --> 00:52:17,640 Speaker 1: this story is over. 1083 00:52:17,880 --> 00:52:22,839 Speaker 4: Oh yeah, hey, it's Sam, your og host here, bring 1084 00:52:22,880 --> 00:52:23,560 Speaker 4: it back to the stories. 1085 00:52:23,600 --> 00:52:27,320 Speaker 1: But here's three minutes bads from our sponsor. I prioritized 1086 00:52:27,400 --> 00:52:34,319 Speaker 1: my education over a funeral. It ruined my relationship. Oh 1087 00:52:34,719 --> 00:52:35,320 Speaker 1: oh boy. 1088 00:52:36,440 --> 00:52:36,920 Speaker 3: I don't know. 1089 00:52:37,600 --> 00:52:40,799 Speaker 1: Oh, I don't know if there is a right thing 1090 00:52:40,920 --> 00:52:43,160 Speaker 1: to do in this situation. I think you're just screwed. 1091 00:52:43,880 --> 00:52:47,720 Speaker 1: Before everything happened between us, we were solid. I thought 1092 00:52:47,760 --> 00:52:51,279 Speaker 1: this guy was my forever. We've lived together for the 1093 00:52:51,320 --> 00:52:54,560 Speaker 1: past three years and I always loved him and the 1094 00:52:54,600 --> 00:52:57,440 Speaker 1: way we supported and helped each other. He used to 1095 00:52:57,480 --> 00:52:59,759 Speaker 1: say we were family and we would always look after 1096 00:52:59,760 --> 00:53:04,000 Speaker 1: each By the way, this comes from user, so throwaway 1097 00:53:04,080 --> 00:53:06,040 Speaker 1: one and if you want to submit your own stories, 1098 00:53:06,160 --> 00:53:08,960 Speaker 1: go to the r slash Okay storytime subreddit and do 1099 00:53:09,040 --> 00:53:11,840 Speaker 1: it there. So this year was my final year in 1100 00:53:11,960 --> 00:53:14,600 Speaker 1: UNI to get my March and my part two exemption 1101 00:53:14,760 --> 00:53:18,480 Speaker 1: to become an architect. In March this year, the final 1102 00:53:18,520 --> 00:53:21,640 Speaker 1: printed copy of my research project was due, basically a 1103 00:53:21,680 --> 00:53:26,200 Speaker 1: culmination of the past seven years of my education. Unfortunately, 1104 00:53:26,640 --> 00:53:29,680 Speaker 1: in this time, my partner's grandmother passed away, and this 1105 00:53:29,719 --> 00:53:32,879 Speaker 1: woman basically raised him when both of his parents could 1106 00:53:32,880 --> 00:53:37,000 Speaker 1: not deal. They were incredibly close. In her final years, 1107 00:53:37,000 --> 00:53:39,839 Speaker 1: she got dementia, but she always remembered him and their 1108 00:53:39,880 --> 00:53:43,800 Speaker 1: little inside jokes. He loved her so much, probably more 1109 00:53:44,120 --> 00:53:47,800 Speaker 1: than anyone else in the whole world. As a heavy, 1110 00:53:48,440 --> 00:53:52,120 Speaker 1: terrible loss to deal with. Over those few weeks after 1111 00:53:52,160 --> 00:53:54,560 Speaker 1: she passed away, I tried to spend a lot of 1112 00:53:54,600 --> 00:53:57,600 Speaker 1: time with him. I took him to the archdiocese and 1113 00:53:57,640 --> 00:54:00,560 Speaker 1: we lit candles and walked through the gardens and talked 1114 00:54:00,560 --> 00:54:03,280 Speaker 1: about his grandmother. His friends came up for a visit 1115 00:54:03,320 --> 00:54:05,680 Speaker 1: that weekend, and I spent the weekend with them to 1116 00:54:05,760 --> 00:54:08,080 Speaker 1: keep him happy. Even though I should have been working 1117 00:54:08,160 --> 00:54:11,200 Speaker 1: on finishing my research project. I took care of him 1118 00:54:11,239 --> 00:54:15,319 Speaker 1: all that week, letting him rest and try to mourn. Unfortunately, 1119 00:54:15,320 --> 00:54:18,120 Speaker 1: his boss is a huge wiener and it was a 1120 00:54:18,160 --> 00:54:20,480 Speaker 1: struggle for him to get any time off to properly 1121 00:54:20,520 --> 00:54:23,560 Speaker 1: rest and take care of himself. His grandmother's funeral was 1122 00:54:23,600 --> 00:54:26,680 Speaker 1: scheduled to be four days before my research project hand 1123 00:54:26,719 --> 00:54:29,280 Speaker 1: in date. The problem with that is that I still 1124 00:54:29,360 --> 00:54:32,440 Speaker 1: needed to get everything printed and do final editing, and 1125 00:54:32,480 --> 00:54:35,000 Speaker 1: the funeral was happening on the other side of the country. 1126 00:54:35,680 --> 00:54:38,640 Speaker 1: This was a two hundred page research project. I worked 1127 00:54:38,640 --> 00:54:41,200 Speaker 1: my butt off to get everything together beforehand so that 1128 00:54:41,239 --> 00:54:43,080 Speaker 1: I could go with him, but in the end I 1129 00:54:43,120 --> 00:54:46,319 Speaker 1: didn't have the time, and the reality was that I 1130 00:54:46,400 --> 00:54:49,359 Speaker 1: was editing and adding to the project up until two 1131 00:54:49,440 --> 00:54:52,520 Speaker 1: days before my hand in. I did skype with him 1132 00:54:52,560 --> 00:54:54,440 Speaker 1: in the mornings and evenings so we could talk about 1133 00:54:54,440 --> 00:54:57,840 Speaker 1: how he was doing. After the funeral, he returned home, 1134 00:54:58,200 --> 00:55:01,440 Speaker 1: but he was incredibly sad. After my hand in, I 1135 00:55:01,480 --> 00:55:03,640 Speaker 1: tried to talk with him about it. He showed me 1136 00:55:03,680 --> 00:55:05,759 Speaker 1: some pictures and I read the eulogy that his sister 1137 00:55:05,840 --> 00:55:08,320 Speaker 1: read at the funeral. I cried a bit after reading 1138 00:55:08,320 --> 00:55:11,840 Speaker 1: the eulogy, and that's when my boyfriend got angry. He 1139 00:55:11,920 --> 00:55:14,040 Speaker 1: said that I didn't have a right to cry or 1140 00:55:14,120 --> 00:55:17,080 Speaker 1: be upset because it was his grandmother and because I 1141 00:55:17,080 --> 00:55:21,160 Speaker 1: had chosen to forego the funeral. Oh no, look buddy, 1142 00:55:21,160 --> 00:55:24,319 Speaker 1: I get it right. We can have feelings, but like, 1143 00:55:24,880 --> 00:55:27,520 Speaker 1: come on, dude, if that's how you felt, why are 1144 00:55:27,560 --> 00:55:29,080 Speaker 1: you showing her the eulogy in the first place. 1145 00:55:29,360 --> 00:55:32,600 Speaker 3: Come on, yeah, if you don't want them to be sad. 1146 00:55:32,800 --> 00:55:34,759 Speaker 3: I feel like you would get mad at someone for 1147 00:55:34,920 --> 00:55:37,880 Speaker 3: reading the eulogy and me like, oh wow, that's crazy, man. 1148 00:55:38,280 --> 00:55:43,480 Speaker 1: It's like you're asking her to what to blow up 1149 00:55:44,120 --> 00:55:48,560 Speaker 1: her entire career path potentially by like flunking her ARCT, Like, 1150 00:55:48,600 --> 00:55:51,520 Speaker 1: come on, come on to line. It wasn't her fault. 1151 00:55:51,640 --> 00:55:55,080 Speaker 1: Things have just gone downhill since then, It's been two months, 1152 00:55:55,600 --> 00:55:58,480 Speaker 1: which is that's a shock to me. I can't imagine. 1153 00:55:58,960 --> 00:56:01,239 Speaker 1: On top of my research project, I also had my 1154 00:56:01,280 --> 00:56:03,719 Speaker 1: regular work to finish over the past two months. It's 1155 00:56:03,760 --> 00:56:06,600 Speaker 1: just been a very busy time in my life. My 1156 00:56:06,680 --> 00:56:09,799 Speaker 1: boyfriend went through a similar experience the year before, where 1157 00:56:09,800 --> 00:56:12,279 Speaker 1: I helped and supported him through his work, and he 1158 00:56:12,360 --> 00:56:14,960 Speaker 1: tried to help and support me through mine, But the 1159 00:56:15,080 --> 00:56:17,880 Speaker 1: entire time he was cold and distant, and at one 1160 00:56:17,920 --> 00:56:20,040 Speaker 1: point he even admitted to me that he didn't want 1161 00:56:20,080 --> 00:56:23,040 Speaker 1: to help me and he couldn't be bothered. So this 1162 00:56:23,120 --> 00:56:26,440 Speaker 1: all came to a head recently when I confronted him 1163 00:56:26,480 --> 00:56:29,239 Speaker 1: about how he's been distant and the way that he's 1164 00:56:29,239 --> 00:56:32,040 Speaker 1: been treating me, like ignoring me all day, being rude 1165 00:56:32,320 --> 00:56:36,000 Speaker 1: and distant and sometimes downright nasty to me. He basically 1166 00:56:36,040 --> 00:56:38,600 Speaker 1: said he can't forgive me for missing his grandmother's funeral, 1167 00:56:38,880 --> 00:56:41,840 Speaker 1: and he doesn't think he ever will. At this point, 1168 00:56:41,840 --> 00:56:45,120 Speaker 1: I'll admit that I lost it. I was put in 1169 00:56:45,160 --> 00:56:47,960 Speaker 1: a situation where I had to choose between my relationship 1170 00:56:47,960 --> 00:56:51,319 Speaker 1: and my education, and it's only in hindsight that I 1171 00:56:51,400 --> 00:56:54,279 Speaker 1: see it. I was so overwhelmed and upset that I 1172 00:56:54,360 --> 00:56:57,880 Speaker 1: hit my head against the wall hard oh and screamed, 1173 00:56:58,480 --> 00:57:00,680 Speaker 1: but only because I've never been in so much emotional 1174 00:57:00,680 --> 00:57:02,799 Speaker 1: pain in my life, and I don't know how to 1175 00:57:02,840 --> 00:57:05,839 Speaker 1: handle it, so I handled it poorly. Since then, things 1176 00:57:05,840 --> 00:57:08,880 Speaker 1: have not gotten better. We've tried to talk it over calmly, 1177 00:57:08,960 --> 00:57:11,000 Speaker 1: but a few days ago he lost it and went 1178 00:57:11,040 --> 00:57:13,480 Speaker 1: on this rant about how terrible his life is and 1179 00:57:13,480 --> 00:57:15,920 Speaker 1: how hurt he is. There's a lot more going on 1180 00:57:16,000 --> 00:57:18,880 Speaker 1: with his family than I knew, including that his father 1181 00:57:19,040 --> 00:57:22,320 Speaker 1: used to be physically obive and his grandmother would protect him. 1182 00:57:22,320 --> 00:57:24,400 Speaker 1: I never knew this about his father, though I knew 1183 00:57:24,400 --> 00:57:29,280 Speaker 1: they had an incredibly strained relationship. I've suggested therapy, but 1184 00:57:29,480 --> 00:57:31,800 Speaker 1: he has said he's not up for it. We talked 1185 00:57:31,840 --> 00:57:33,960 Speaker 1: about a solution, and he thinks I need to go 1186 00:57:34,040 --> 00:57:36,280 Speaker 1: back to my home country by myself for a few 1187 00:57:36,320 --> 00:57:38,960 Speaker 1: weeks and be with my family, and to leave him 1188 00:57:38,960 --> 00:57:43,640 Speaker 1: alone for that time so we can think and mourn alone. Son, Wow, 1189 00:57:44,000 --> 00:57:46,800 Speaker 1: the solution is therapy. He also said that he is 1190 00:57:46,880 --> 00:57:49,680 Speaker 1: thinking about moving out of our flat at the end 1191 00:57:49,680 --> 00:57:51,680 Speaker 1: of the summer to go live with some friends, but 1192 00:57:51,760 --> 00:57:54,000 Speaker 1: he said that he wants us to stay together. I 1193 00:57:54,040 --> 00:57:57,000 Speaker 1: think at this point that the relationship might be over. 1194 00:57:57,960 --> 00:57:59,959 Speaker 1: I don't know how to show him that I'm sorry 1195 00:58:00,040 --> 00:58:02,200 Speaker 1: or I missed the funeral, but there was no other 1196 00:58:02,240 --> 00:58:05,320 Speaker 1: option for me. I love this guy so much, but 1197 00:58:05,400 --> 00:58:07,320 Speaker 1: if this is how our relationship is going to be, 1198 00:58:07,640 --> 00:58:10,440 Speaker 1: I don't think I can do it. I need perspective 1199 00:58:10,480 --> 00:58:13,880 Speaker 1: on this issue, maybe some advice on how to apologize properly, 1200 00:58:14,280 --> 00:58:16,440 Speaker 1: and if not, maybe some advice on how to end 1201 00:58:16,600 --> 00:58:19,440 Speaker 1: a long term relationship. And there is an edit. A 1202 00:58:19,480 --> 00:58:22,240 Speaker 1: lot of people have been mentioning this. I did ask 1203 00:58:22,280 --> 00:58:25,400 Speaker 1: for an extension from my academic advisor. He told me 1204 00:58:25,440 --> 00:58:28,880 Speaker 1: that the school does not grant extensions under any circumstances. 1205 00:58:28,960 --> 00:58:32,520 Speaker 1: The way my university handles mitigating circumstances for graduate projects 1206 00:58:32,640 --> 00:58:34,400 Speaker 1: is that they expect you to turn in whatever work 1207 00:58:34,440 --> 00:58:37,080 Speaker 1: you have completed by the deadline, and then they allow 1208 00:58:37,120 --> 00:58:40,760 Speaker 1: you to resubmit the completed project at the next grading cycle. However, 1209 00:58:40,800 --> 00:58:42,520 Speaker 1: this would mean that I would not be allowed to 1210 00:58:42,560 --> 00:58:44,960 Speaker 1: graduate this year and would have to wait until the 1211 00:58:45,000 --> 00:58:48,880 Speaker 1: next graduation cycle. Also, I should mention that we usually 1212 00:58:48,960 --> 00:58:50,720 Speaker 1: returned to my home country for a few weeks in 1213 00:58:50,720 --> 00:58:53,560 Speaker 1: the summer to visit my family. A trip wasn't planned 1214 00:58:53,680 --> 00:58:55,800 Speaker 1: or set for this summer, but we had discussed a 1215 00:58:55,800 --> 00:58:58,560 Speaker 1: possibility of it, and that's why it's not a completely 1216 00:58:58,680 --> 00:59:01,640 Speaker 1: unreasonable request that I go home for a while and 1217 00:59:01,720 --> 00:59:04,120 Speaker 1: we do have an update. 1218 00:59:04,600 --> 00:59:09,680 Speaker 3: Yeah, that's just that's hard because I mean, he's obviously 1219 00:59:09,720 --> 00:59:12,200 Speaker 3: going through it. You know, obviously this is a huge 1220 00:59:12,240 --> 00:59:15,080 Speaker 3: loss for him, and you know, of course that's fine 1221 00:59:15,080 --> 00:59:16,480 Speaker 3: for him to go through, and that's fine for him 1222 00:59:16,480 --> 00:59:18,640 Speaker 3: to have these emotions, but taking it out on this 1223 00:59:18,680 --> 00:59:19,880 Speaker 3: person is like, is not. 1224 00:59:19,800 --> 00:59:21,680 Speaker 1: Okay, that doesn't make any sense. I just wanted to 1225 00:59:21,680 --> 00:59:23,880 Speaker 1: first say thank you very much for all of your 1226 00:59:23,880 --> 00:59:26,120 Speaker 1: advice It was very helpful, and it made me feel 1227 00:59:26,120 --> 00:59:28,120 Speaker 1: like less of a terrible person and made me realize 1228 00:59:28,120 --> 00:59:31,360 Speaker 1: that my boyfriend is still mourning the loss of his grandmother. 1229 00:59:32,080 --> 00:59:34,880 Speaker 1: My SOO and I had a long discussion the night 1230 00:59:34,920 --> 00:59:37,600 Speaker 1: I posted for advice on Reddit, and we agreed that 1231 00:59:37,640 --> 00:59:40,480 Speaker 1: we wanted to be together, but that something needed to 1232 00:59:40,600 --> 00:59:44,480 Speaker 1: change in our relationship. We set some basic ground rules. 1233 00:59:44,640 --> 00:59:48,640 Speaker 1: We both agreed to start seeing separate therapists. Great good 1234 00:59:48,840 --> 00:59:51,160 Speaker 1: him for his grief and troubles with his dad and 1235 00:59:51,160 --> 00:59:54,040 Speaker 1: me for my lack of confidence and stress management. He 1236 00:59:54,120 --> 00:59:56,640 Speaker 1: again asked for space, so he moved out of our 1237 00:59:56,680 --> 00:59:59,680 Speaker 1: bedroom into the spare bedroom in our flat. I also 1238 00:59:59,720 --> 01:00:01,680 Speaker 1: booked to flight home for a few weeks to visit 1239 01:00:01,720 --> 01:00:04,280 Speaker 1: my own family, and I'm set to leave in four days. 1240 01:00:04,800 --> 01:00:08,000 Speaker 1: We were making some good progress this week, enjoying time 1241 01:00:08,040 --> 01:00:10,640 Speaker 1: with each other, going to the park, just generally trying 1242 01:00:10,680 --> 01:00:13,760 Speaker 1: to reconnect. After sleeping in the spare bed for five days, 1243 01:00:13,760 --> 01:00:16,280 Speaker 1: he decided to move back into our room and I 1244 01:00:16,400 --> 01:00:19,560 Speaker 1: was very happy about that. Up until two days ago, 1245 01:00:19,880 --> 01:00:21,800 Speaker 1: I genuinely thought that we were going to make it 1246 01:00:21,800 --> 01:00:24,960 Speaker 1: through this, but things came to a head last night. 1247 01:00:25,840 --> 01:00:28,439 Speaker 1: I received my grades back from the school, and I'm 1248 01:00:28,600 --> 01:00:30,400 Speaker 1: very proud to say that I got an A on 1249 01:00:30,480 --> 01:00:31,680 Speaker 1: my research project. 1250 01:00:31,760 --> 01:00:35,840 Speaker 3: Yeah, this year, it was gonna be a bad grade, 1251 01:00:36,040 --> 01:00:37,800 Speaker 3: and then this whole thing was, yeah. 1252 01:00:37,680 --> 01:00:39,800 Speaker 1: Not worth it. Imagine you would just flunk anyway. 1253 01:00:39,880 --> 01:00:40,800 Speaker 3: That would be so hard. 1254 01:00:41,640 --> 01:00:43,960 Speaker 1: So not only did I get an A on my 1255 01:00:44,040 --> 01:00:47,160 Speaker 1: research project, but one of my urban design proposals has 1256 01:00:47,240 --> 01:00:50,360 Speaker 1: also been nominated by my school for a Gold award 1257 01:00:50,400 --> 01:00:55,080 Speaker 1: from the RIPA. Wow. I am incredibly proud. This year 1258 01:00:55,120 --> 01:00:58,160 Speaker 1: was definitely the most difficult in my entire life, and 1259 01:00:58,240 --> 01:01:00,600 Speaker 1: I didn't expect to do as well as I actually did. 1260 01:01:00,680 --> 01:01:03,960 Speaker 1: I literally just wept when I got my results. I 1261 01:01:04,000 --> 01:01:06,400 Speaker 1: sent myso a long message letting him know how I 1262 01:01:06,440 --> 01:01:09,600 Speaker 1: did and about the nomination, but more importantly, thanking him 1263 01:01:09,640 --> 01:01:12,560 Speaker 1: for being there to support me through my degree. I 1264 01:01:12,600 --> 01:01:14,720 Speaker 1: told him I loved him and that I was glad 1265 01:01:14,800 --> 01:01:20,080 Speaker 1: we were working together on our relationship. Brother, how do 1266 01:01:20,160 --> 01:01:24,960 Speaker 1: you fumble the response to that? I'm sorry, how do 1267 01:01:25,000 --> 01:01:26,000 Speaker 1: you mess that one up? 1268 01:01:26,800 --> 01:01:29,560 Speaker 3: He's just gonna be so mad that she's doing anything 1269 01:01:29,560 --> 01:01:32,880 Speaker 3: with her education. It's gonna be like, oh, well, well great, 1270 01:01:32,960 --> 01:01:37,480 Speaker 3: and my grandma's still which like, can we have multiple 1271 01:01:37,520 --> 01:01:39,960 Speaker 3: things going on in our lives. Please please. 1272 01:01:40,520 --> 01:01:43,800 Speaker 1: He came home that night fuming. He was so angry. 1273 01:01:43,840 --> 01:01:46,840 Speaker 1: He just yelled at me for basically an hour about 1274 01:01:46,840 --> 01:01:49,560 Speaker 1: my lack of confidence in my own work and about 1275 01:01:49,560 --> 01:01:53,080 Speaker 1: how I didn't need to miss his grandmother's funeral. He 1276 01:01:53,120 --> 01:01:55,720 Speaker 1: told me he hated me, and after that I sort 1277 01:01:55,720 --> 01:01:58,440 Speaker 1: of just numbed out. I don't really remember much of 1278 01:01:58,480 --> 01:02:02,600 Speaker 1: what he said after that, I just stopped talking and listening. Wow, 1279 01:02:02,760 --> 01:02:04,919 Speaker 1: my final end of your show is happening this week. 1280 01:02:04,960 --> 01:02:08,080 Speaker 1: It's a huge celebration of the student's work. I filled 1281 01:02:08,120 --> 01:02:11,440 Speaker 1: an entire wall to exhibit my architectural work and my 1282 01:02:11,520 --> 01:02:14,240 Speaker 1: research results. During the end of years show a lot 1283 01:02:14,240 --> 01:02:16,760 Speaker 1: of people find jobs, so it's important for us to 1284 01:02:16,760 --> 01:02:18,920 Speaker 1: be there to network and talk about our projects with 1285 01:02:19,000 --> 01:02:21,640 Speaker 1: people in the industry. I did this for my boyfriend 1286 01:02:21,680 --> 01:02:24,680 Speaker 1: last year when he exhibited his own work. I spent 1287 01:02:24,720 --> 01:02:27,600 Speaker 1: six hours at that event talking to different people about 1288 01:02:27,600 --> 01:02:30,080 Speaker 1: how amazing his work was. Wait a minute, so this 1289 01:02:30,120 --> 01:02:31,000 Speaker 1: guy's also an. 1290 01:02:30,960 --> 01:02:33,960 Speaker 3: Architect, I guess, so so he should not. 1291 01:02:34,160 --> 01:02:36,000 Speaker 1: You're how selfish could you be? 1292 01:02:36,640 --> 01:02:40,400 Speaker 3: Oh gosh, my heart is being so fast too angry? 1293 01:02:41,160 --> 01:02:44,320 Speaker 1: Also dummy? Maybe if she did go to the funeral, 1294 01:02:44,480 --> 01:02:46,880 Speaker 1: she wouldn't have gotten the a are you? Are you? 1295 01:02:47,120 --> 01:02:49,320 Speaker 1: Are you? What's wrong with you? I mean, this guy's 1296 01:02:49,440 --> 01:02:54,440 Speaker 1: clearly blinded by his a grief. But more than that, 1297 01:02:54,480 --> 01:02:57,280 Speaker 1: it's like, I don't think, no matter how much grief 1298 01:02:57,320 --> 01:03:01,480 Speaker 1: you could have, there's just something fundamental twisted about the 1299 01:03:01,480 --> 01:03:03,480 Speaker 1: way you're viewing your relationship for you to be able 1300 01:03:03,520 --> 01:03:04,680 Speaker 1: to speak to your partner like. 1301 01:03:04,640 --> 01:03:07,960 Speaker 3: This, yeah, to be able to yell for hours about 1302 01:03:07,960 --> 01:03:09,400 Speaker 3: how she didn't have confidence. 1303 01:03:10,040 --> 01:03:12,360 Speaker 1: This morning, he told me not to expect him to 1304 01:03:12,360 --> 01:03:14,520 Speaker 1: come tonight because he needs to go to the gym. 1305 01:03:15,200 --> 01:03:17,000 Speaker 1: I'm flying home in four days, and I can tell 1306 01:03:17,040 --> 01:03:19,080 Speaker 1: that he just wants me to leave and never come back, 1307 01:03:19,720 --> 01:03:22,360 Speaker 1: which is what I'm doing. I've stuck with all my 1308 01:03:22,400 --> 01:03:24,680 Speaker 1: promises that I made to him. I supported him as 1309 01:03:24,720 --> 01:03:26,840 Speaker 1: best as I could, and I've begun seeing a therapist. 1310 01:03:27,120 --> 01:03:29,840 Speaker 1: He hasn't even called his GP to get a referral 1311 01:03:29,880 --> 01:03:32,880 Speaker 1: to a therapist. Yet. He doesn't want to fix our relationship. 1312 01:03:33,080 --> 01:03:35,280 Speaker 1: He just wants to keep me around, to pay half 1313 01:03:35,320 --> 01:03:37,560 Speaker 1: of our rent and use me as a punching bag. 1314 01:03:38,200 --> 01:03:40,120 Speaker 1: But you know what, you are so much more than that, 1315 01:03:40,200 --> 01:03:44,880 Speaker 1: op And just because this guy's going through the loss 1316 01:03:45,640 --> 01:03:48,240 Speaker 1: his grandma doesn't give him any right to treat you 1317 01:03:48,280 --> 01:03:52,880 Speaker 1: this way. You are perfectly justified in your decision to 1318 01:03:52,960 --> 01:03:55,400 Speaker 1: leave him in your past, and you will be better 1319 01:03:55,440 --> 01:03:58,320 Speaker 1: off for it. Yeah, and you would also be better 1320 01:03:58,360 --> 01:04:02,760 Speaker 1: off if you, in addition to watching our show, listened 1321 01:04:03,080 --> 01:04:05,800 Speaker 1: to full episodes with stories just like this. All you 1322 01:04:05,840 --> 01:04:08,200 Speaker 1: gotta do is go to iHeartRadio or Apple Podcasts or 1323 01:04:08,200 --> 01:04:11,840 Speaker 1: wherever you listen to podcasts and search Okay story Time, 1324 01:04:12,240 --> 01:04:16,160 Speaker 1: and there you will find our complete catalog and you 1325 01:04:16,160 --> 01:04:19,080 Speaker 1: can browse your heart's content. We do have a little 1326 01:04:19,080 --> 01:04:23,120 Speaker 1: bit of story left here. I mean, I don't know 1327 01:04:23,200 --> 01:04:25,120 Speaker 1: if I have anything else to say other than like, 1328 01:04:25,640 --> 01:04:26,840 Speaker 1: it's only up from here. 1329 01:04:26,720 --> 01:04:29,520 Speaker 3: Op only up here. The love of your life wouldn't 1330 01:04:29,520 --> 01:04:31,680 Speaker 3: do this to you. The love of your life would 1331 01:04:31,720 --> 01:04:34,040 Speaker 3: not yell at you, no matter how much he's grieving, 1332 01:04:34,160 --> 01:04:38,640 Speaker 3: no matter how mad he is, no matter like just 1333 01:04:38,720 --> 01:04:43,080 Speaker 3: no matter, unless you like we're violent or something like that, 1334 01:04:43,440 --> 01:04:46,320 Speaker 3: then sure that would be a lot. But I don't 1335 01:04:46,320 --> 01:04:48,680 Speaker 3: think you. I don't think that's what's gonnadpen ever. 1336 01:04:48,680 --> 01:04:51,880 Speaker 1: So there's no justified yelling in this story, that's for sure, 1337 01:04:52,000 --> 01:04:56,000 Speaker 1: Not at all, so let's finish it off. So we're over. 1338 01:04:56,720 --> 01:04:58,520 Speaker 1: I just paid my final half of the rent and 1339 01:04:58,560 --> 01:05:01,560 Speaker 1: I'm moving back to my home country. I was originally 1340 01:05:01,560 --> 01:05:04,520 Speaker 1: only planning on returning for a few weeks, but with 1341 01:05:04,600 --> 01:05:07,080 Speaker 1: this Brexit vote looking so graham, I don't really see 1342 01:05:07,080 --> 01:05:09,400 Speaker 1: a point of being in the UK anymore when I 1343 01:05:09,440 --> 01:05:12,120 Speaker 1: return and find a job here, when I'll most likely 1344 01:05:12,240 --> 01:05:14,520 Speaker 1: be asked to leave in a year. I like the 1345 01:05:14,600 --> 01:05:16,720 Speaker 1: UK and I love my boyfriend, but it seems neither 1346 01:05:16,800 --> 01:05:19,880 Speaker 1: want me. So I'm going home to take care of myself. 1347 01:05:20,320 --> 01:05:24,960 Speaker 1: Take care of yourself and become a nice successful architect. Op. Yes, 1348 01:05:25,320 --> 01:05:31,000 Speaker 1: don't sweat it, you know. Yeah, you're your your gold star, 1349 01:05:31,200 --> 01:05:32,640 Speaker 1: your gold star student. 1350 01:05:32,680 --> 01:05:36,040 Speaker 3: Gold Star and a plus a plus. 1351 01:05:35,760 --> 01:05:36,800 Speaker 1: Student gold star ap plus. 1352 01:05:36,840 --> 01:05:38,600 Speaker 2: I wish you nothing but success. 1353 01:05:38,360 --> 01:05:40,040 Speaker 3: And you're gonna find. 1354 01:05:39,840 --> 01:05:41,680 Speaker 1: It, you know. I think you've made the right call here. 1355 01:05:41,920 --> 01:05:45,280 Speaker 3: Yeah, that's just inexcuseable what he's doing to you. 1356 01:05:45,760 --> 01:05:48,240 Speaker 1: That is the end of that story.