Speaker 1: Purchasing this home was not about flossing. It was about legacy.
Speaker 1: M dead ass. That's a good one. Well, if I
Speaker 1: tell you all the number of times I've cried during
Speaker 1: this process, It's been an array of motions, mostly good ones,
Speaker 1: though dead as dead as hey. I'm Cadine and and
Speaker 1: we're the Ellises. You may know us from posting funny
Speaker 1: videos with our voice and reading each other publicly as
Speaker 1: a form of therapy. Wait, I'll make you need therapy
Speaker 1: most days. Wow. And one more important thing to mention,
Speaker 1: we're married. We are. We created this podcast to open
Speaker 1: dialogue about some of life's most taboo topics, things most
Speaker 1: folks don't want to talk about. Through the lens of
Speaker 1: a millennial married couple. Dead ass is the term that
Speaker 1: we say every day. So when we say dead ass,
Speaker 1: we're actually saying facts, the truth, the whole truth, and
Speaker 1: nothing but the truth. Were about to take phillow talk
Speaker 1: to our whole level. Dead ass starts right now, talk
Speaker 1: about divine intervention. All right, now, real quick, Okay, let
Speaker 1: me take you all back to about two and fifteen.
Speaker 1: Kadina and I had a tax guy. Right the tax
Speaker 1: guy was doing our taxes. Everything was going well. Um,
Speaker 1: I wasn't doing TV as much. I was doing commercials. UM.
Speaker 1: I still own some other properties, and then was doing makeup,
Speaker 1: and then was doing some hostess. We had a lot
Speaker 1: of things going on. Two sixteen happens, Trump wins the presidency.
Speaker 1: I think two thousand seventeen the government shuts down, right,
Speaker 1: I think that's when we had the government shut down.
Speaker 1: I'm just giving you a little timeline. Two thousand eighteen,
Speaker 1: we go to let's start the home buying process, trying
Speaker 1: to decide where we're going to figure it out right.
Speaker 1: A tax guy says, well, I gotta catch you guys
Speaker 1: up on taxes with the you know, with the government
Speaker 1: being shut down, we don't have any of your taxes prepared.
Speaker 1: So I'm not looking to buy a home right now,
Speaker 1: but let's make sure we have that in the back
Speaker 1: pocket when it is ready. Two thousand nineteen happens. Kadeen
Speaker 1: and I are ready to move to l A. In
Speaker 1: order to even rent a property. They want to see
Speaker 1: your tax statements. Two started two. I go to my
Speaker 1: tax guy, said, hey, I need my last two years
Speaker 1: tax returns. Can I get those tax returns to I
Speaker 1: can apply for this property. Don't hear from my tax guy.
Speaker 1: Now I'm nervous. Right, I'm able to use my bank
Speaker 1: statements because Kadina and I do well enough to prove
Speaker 1: that we have money in the bank, so I'm able
Speaker 1: to rent the property, not work focused on it. Eventually
Speaker 1: my tax guy will get around to me. Now it's
Speaker 1: Kadina and I are actively looking to purchase a home
Speaker 1: to build a legacy for ourselves and our three boys.
Speaker 1: I say a tax guy, I need those tax documents.
Speaker 1: Don't hear back from him. Start doing my own research.
Speaker 1: Go on i rs dot com. My taxes have not
Speaker 1: been filed since two thousand and fifteen. What tight? Now
Speaker 1: I got a new tax guy, black Man, my financial advisor.
Speaker 1: Black Man walks me through the process of focusing on
Speaker 1: getting my taxes and everything squared away. Major, major, major
Speaker 1: mess and clean up. Right, long story short with that.
Speaker 1: Had to pay some penalties of course, because you're late.
Speaker 1: Had to pay taxes for the past previous five years.
Speaker 1: Good thinking, and I've been doing well enough and we
Speaker 1: were saving because we always save money to pay our taxes.
Speaker 1: So we paid all of our tax and everything right.
Speaker 1: But the issue was we did not have our twenty
Speaker 1: nineteen taxes ready to purchase the home that Codeine wanted
Speaker 1: to look at in July. So Codeine was very, very disappointed.
Speaker 1: Very She was, this is the house. I can't believe it.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't really cry. I wasn't at tears,
Speaker 1: but I was near tears. The trembling your voice that
Speaker 1: you get. She definitely had the tremble in her. Fast
Speaker 1: forward to last October. Dean comes to visit me while
Speaker 1: I'm filming Bigger and she said, Hey, there's some houses
Speaker 1: here that opened up. My taxes still aren't done for
Speaker 1: She says, um, I'm gonna just go take a look
Speaker 1: at them. Traditionally the type of house we were looking at,
Speaker 1: they won't even let you in the door unless you
Speaker 1: have a preapproval letter and your taxes done. So I'm like,
Speaker 1: if you can get us to go see a house,
Speaker 1: let's go look at the house. Calls to me, she says, hey,
Speaker 1: I'll be there Tuesday. They have available on Wednesday. I
Speaker 1: film on Wednesday. I don't know what I'm going to
Speaker 1: be done. I happen to get done early on that Wednesday.
Speaker 1: Get out. She's like, baby, you gotta come see this house.
Speaker 1: I rush over here. I get here. The minute I
Speaker 1: walk in the door, Kaudin is looking at me with
Speaker 1: that face, so I know what that means, all right,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, this must be the house. This must
Speaker 1: be the house. So we walked through the house, and
Speaker 1: what did you think? I fell in love with the house.
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna lie, I fell in love. But in
Speaker 1: my in my defense, I was thinking, we're never going
Speaker 1: to be able to get this house because houses like
Speaker 1: this don't stay on the market for too long. I
Speaker 1: will say that I went in the house knowing that
Speaker 1: we may not be able to get it, but at
Speaker 1: least I wanted to see what was out there right right, okay,
Speaker 1: I um, I said, okay, just know that we don't
Speaker 1: have our taxes over two nineteen and twenty, and we
Speaker 1: don't have a pre approval letter, so we can just
Speaker 1: go look and see if this is something that's in
Speaker 1: the you know, the realm, giving this is what we're
Speaker 1: looking for kind of vibe. By the end of looking
Speaker 1: through the house, Kadin says, baby, I want this house.
Speaker 1: I said, okay, let me see what I can do.
Speaker 1: I go back to the car. I get a text
Speaker 1: message from my financial advisor. Hey, you're two thousand nineteen
Speaker 1: taxes is a complete I'm like, are you serious? He's
Speaker 1: just like, yes, it's complete. I said, I'm glad that
Speaker 1: you say that, because, Um, I'm literally standing in the
Speaker 1: house that I want to buy, the driveway of the
Speaker 1: house we want. And then he's just like, um, are
Speaker 1: you serious? I said yes, He said, you know, is
Speaker 1: this the house? I said yes. He said, because I
Speaker 1: could have a pre approval letter for you tomorrow. I
Speaker 1: was like, you gotta be kidding me, Sean. I was
Speaker 1: like trying, you have to be kidding me. He was
Speaker 1: just like, no, Um, I could have that for you tomorrow.
Speaker 1: This is what you want to do. I said, can
Speaker 1: you get the pre approval because we would like to
Speaker 1: make an offer on the house tomorrow if possible. Wake
Speaker 1: up the next morning, get an email pre approval letter
Speaker 1: that covers the cost of the house. We sit down.
Speaker 1: We sit down with out realtor. Arian shout out to
Speaker 1: Arian Elsbury. Arian, she got she got like accents and
Speaker 1: stuff in her name, but it's implied. Arian shout out
Speaker 1: to Arian Ellisbury. Real to He said, we're gonna put
Speaker 1: in an offer, but you never know with things. Like this,
Speaker 1: because you know, someone in the house had gotten a
Speaker 1: ton of offers apparently the weekend before, so Arian created
Speaker 1: this great letter for us, encompassing everything that we wanted
Speaker 1: to do as a family. She puts in the offer
Speaker 1: on Wednesday. No, puts in the offer on Thursday. I'm
Speaker 1: the best storyteller here. Yeah, your days are off, but
Speaker 1: I got it. She put in the offer on Thursday.
Speaker 1: We wake up Friday morning to an approval and an
Speaker 1: acceptance of the offer, and I was like, baby, we're
Speaker 1: gonna get this house. And the funny thing is that's
Speaker 1: when the journey started. And that was not the easiest
Speaker 1: journey that we have spent purchasing at home. And this
Speaker 1: is our fourth, a third, our third home that we purchased.
Speaker 1: Right So, after this story time, we're gonna we're gonna
Speaker 1: jump into we're going to jump to the real process.
Speaker 1: We're gonna have to tell you how that process dead
Speaker 1: as where the money and that's home and that's all.
Speaker 1: Mary had a little lamps. All know is where the
Speaker 1: money resides. And then Mary had a little lamp and
Speaker 1: that's about it. I can what don't reside and that's
Speaker 1: in bank account. Its telling there no more. Okay, they
Speaker 1: got us for all the coins? How is this being expensive?
Speaker 1: But the house is expensive, but the legacy is priceless,
Speaker 1: right this prices and coins that go with legacies. However,
Speaker 1: it's what it meant for us to be able to
Speaker 1: finally purchase a home that's going to be home based
Speaker 1: for us where we plan on raising our boys. I mean,
Speaker 1: let me tell y'all, I've had moments where I'm just
Speaker 1: like vision and before we even got to the house
Speaker 1: and before we moved in, I had moments where I
Speaker 1: was envisioning like like Jackson on the lawn, like going
Speaker 1: to prompt and like stuff like that, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean. And I just finally feel like we have
Speaker 1: home base. For so many years we were debating on
Speaker 1: where we were going to move to, where our careers
Speaker 1: we're going to take us. And I think one thing
Speaker 1: that we were able to discover during the lockdown on
Speaker 1: the pandemic everything that's been happening um around us, is
Speaker 1: that we were able to kind of maneuver and work home. UM.
Speaker 1: We didn't necessarily have to be in a particular city
Speaker 1: or state to work UM and then being booked for
Speaker 1: acting gigs and things like that then would require travel,
Speaker 1: but we wanted somewhere for the boys to be grounded.
Speaker 1: Here we are in Georgia, Yes, in Georgia and enjoying it.
Speaker 1: Enjoying Georgia. So far, so good. But I will say
Speaker 1: this so that anyone looking to purchase at home, do
Speaker 1: not wake up one morning and think, excuse me, do
Speaker 1: not wake up one morning and think that you just
Speaker 1: like you know what, I'm gonna just go buy a
Speaker 1: house soon. It is a long process and you have
Speaker 1: to be prepared from eighteen months prior. Have all of
Speaker 1: your ducks in order. Because my two least favorite words
Speaker 1: right now in the universe is underwriters. I hate underwriters.
Speaker 1: I hate them. They combed through our life like like
Speaker 1: the f beyond. Well, there's a nitpickiness that goes with
Speaker 1: black home ownership. Absolutely call it what it is. Well,
Speaker 1: let's um, so let's go, let's let's let's start with this.
Speaker 1: You know, maybe have some percentages. The importance of home
Speaker 1: ownership changes from generation to generation, and that's fair to say, right,
Speaker 1: But what we know is that home ownership is one
Speaker 1: of the best ways to change the trajectory of your
Speaker 1: family's wealth. And as a black family, owning a home
Speaker 1: is powerful enough to change the future of the culture.
Speaker 1: Absolutely right, absolutely that started, or you can jump into
Speaker 1: your stats. Actually so black, Let's let's get into some
Speaker 1: of these stats by creating a new legacy for black
Speaker 1: home ownership. Right In the first quarter of black families
Speaker 1: own their home compared to seventy three point seven percent
Speaker 1: of white families, according to the Census Bureau. The gap
Speaker 1: is wider in some cities, with just of black families
Speaker 1: owning a home in Minneapolis compared with seventy six percent
Speaker 1: of whites, which is the widest gap in the United States.
Speaker 1: Cities with more than one million resident are studied by
Speaker 1: Redfin real estate brokers. Found in DC of black households
Speaker 1: are homeowners, with the highest rate in the country, but
Speaker 1: far lower than the seventy percent of white households at
Speaker 1: homeowners now here, These now, these numbers I'm about to
Speaker 1: give you right now are very very important. According to
Speaker 1: a recent study from Landing Tree, black home buyers are
Speaker 1: denied mortgages twelve point six four percent of the time.
Speaker 1: The overall mortgage denial rate is six point one percent.
Speaker 1: So we double that all right, state by state, neighborhood
Speaker 1: by neighborhood. Black families pay more in property taxes each
Speaker 1: year than the white family would in the same situation.
Speaker 1: Explain that because our schooling situation is far worse than
Speaker 1: any other demographic, but we pay more in property taxes
Speaker 1: when property taffic taxes typically cover the schooling and rolls
Speaker 1: and stuff like that. Absolutely, the homeownership gap between blacks
Speaker 1: and whites is larger today than it was in nine
Speaker 1: thirty four. Think about that just in terms of like
Speaker 1: what's being passed out oterational wealth. When UM, which is
Speaker 1: when the Federal Housing Administration UM was established, says Donald
Speaker 1: sorry Donal Williams, president of the National Association. Let me
Speaker 1: give a little bit of a little context about that. Right, Um,
Speaker 1: The fh A was established after the Great Depression. Right
Speaker 1: so there was a housing shortage and FDR decided that
Speaker 1: we needed to create more houses for middle class family,
Speaker 1: especially coming after the war. So the f h A
Speaker 1: was created and they started to develop all of these
Speaker 1: houses for UM suburban areas. This is the crazy part
Speaker 1: about the f h A. The government then gave subsidies
Speaker 1: to contractors who built homes for white homeowners, but said
Speaker 1: you can only get the subsidies as contractors, as if
Speaker 1: you decide if you agree not to sell to black families.
Speaker 1: So think about that. That's where redlining started. Now, so
Speaker 1: you built all of these homes, and you said, anybody
Speaker 1: can hone these homes except for black people. And what
Speaker 1: do you think happened to those people who own the homes.
Speaker 1: Those homes accruede wealth, they've been great greater value over years,
Speaker 1: was a property value, and they passed those properties down
Speaker 1: to their families. What do you think happened to the
Speaker 1: black families who couldn't purchase homes, They went built their
Speaker 1: own homes and neighborhoods like Tulsa, Oklahoma, Roswell, Orangeburg, South Carolina,
Speaker 1: which ultimately were destroyed, burned down, and they weren't covered
Speaker 1: by insurances. You want to know why the government also
Speaker 1: said that we're not going to insure black homes. This
Speaker 1: is a fact. This is not something I'm making up.
Speaker 1: Insurance companies and the government did not mandate for black
Speaker 1: homes to be insured, even if they were close to
Speaker 1: white communities. So now, even if you took your money
Speaker 1: and you built a home, and you built land, and
Speaker 1: you built neighborhoods, when they were torn down or they
Speaker 1: were burned down and bombed. They were left disintegrated with nothing.
Speaker 1: You got nothing from nothing. We're starting from scratch. So
Speaker 1: when people ask why the wealth gap is so huge
Speaker 1: in this country, that's a huge part the reason why
Speaker 1: for sure, and it's just today. Black homeowners are five
Speaker 1: times as likely to own in a formerly red lined
Speaker 1: neighborhood than a green line one. Yes, that's interesting. So
Speaker 1: what people need to understand about redlining is that redlining
Speaker 1: is is a map that creates a space where these
Speaker 1: property values are giving less value. So black families, obviously
Speaker 1: black families and black neighborhoods were given less value because
Speaker 1: their homes were considered less but also if they did
Speaker 1: get insurance, their insurance payments and this is still happening
Speaker 1: to it today a way higher. And we had president
Speaker 1: now President Joe Biden on our podcast to confirm that
Speaker 1: very fact that if he as a president of the
Speaker 1: United States, older home identical two hours in the same neighborhood,
Speaker 1: they would insure his home at a lower rate that
Speaker 1: it would ensure Dean in mind, and our property taxes
Speaker 1: would be and our probably text more so. And this
Speaker 1: is and especially with redlining. That's that's just how things work.
Speaker 1: And that was a way for them to continue to
Speaker 1: marginalize black families and black you. And which leads us
Speaker 1: to why and why I said it was it was
Speaker 1: a legacy move, not a stunt move. Right for sure,
Speaker 1: you know because um one thing I also know about
Speaker 1: owning a property is that if you own a property
Speaker 1: large enough where your children can not only grow here
Speaker 1: but also raise their families, you're keeping so much money
Speaker 1: in your house. I'm gonna do a little bit of
Speaker 1: math for you, and was like a human calculator. So
Speaker 1: let me be ready, be ready, for ready for you.
Speaker 1: Remember when I bought my car, my my Audi A seven,
Speaker 1: the payment was a thousand dollars a month, plus insurance
Speaker 1: and gas was five dollars a month. Yes, so that's
Speaker 1: fifteen hulls a month. That's eighteen thousand dollars a year
Speaker 1: I was spending on that damn car. Right. I had
Speaker 1: that car for a three year lease. Eighteen times three
Speaker 1: is fifty four thousand dollars I spent on that car. Right,
Speaker 1: All that money is gone double lot because of the rent.
Speaker 1: A month in rent, that's a hundred and eight thousand
Speaker 1: dollars over three years that went to someone else other
Speaker 1: than my family. You see what I'm saying, A hundred
Speaker 1: eight thousand dollars in three years that I I'm never
Speaker 1: going to get back. And I started to realize, if
Speaker 1: I have a home where my sons when they're trying
Speaker 1: to figure out life, when they're near early twenties too,
Speaker 1: late twenties, early thirties, and they're trying to figure out
Speaker 1: what they want to do with their life, if they
Speaker 1: can stay in a different part of the house and
Speaker 1: still feel like an adult and I have to pay
Speaker 1: rent to someone else, but stay here and figure their
Speaker 1: life out, that a hundred and eight thousand dollars could
Speaker 1: be were in their pocket. But you know it's funny.
Speaker 1: It's opposite what we're taught or what the black community
Speaker 1: has tend to have done over the years. Absolutely, okay,
Speaker 1: you can work now, starting even before you're eighteen, and
Speaker 1: you can move out and be technically an adult according
Speaker 1: to the government, but as early as you can be
Speaker 1: out there working. We're putting our kids to work because
Speaker 1: they want, We want them to be able to contribute
Speaker 1: to the household, to be able to help or at
Speaker 1: eighteen you're now an adult, you can be on your own.
Speaker 1: And then also too, there's kind of like this feeling
Speaker 1: when you turn eighteen, like, shoot, I am an adult,
Speaker 1: I want to be out. Yeah. Meanwhile, I was ready
Speaker 1: to come back home several times after that. So if
Speaker 1: we can create an environment, like you said, or a
Speaker 1: space where our children can then feel comfortable coming back
Speaker 1: home and knowing that they have a little piece of
Speaker 1: you know, their own little privacy if you as an
Speaker 1: adult to be able to to work or to explore,
Speaker 1: or to be in school and know that they have
Speaker 1: the comfort of not having to worry about paying bills
Speaker 1: right away. But but that's only the first part though.
Speaker 1: The fact that they don't have to pay rent to
Speaker 1: someone else is the first part. When we own this
Speaker 1: home outright and we move on and pass away, our
Speaker 1: kids then own this property and now have equity and
Speaker 1: something that they can call their own. And that's when
Speaker 1: you pass things down like that, that's how you start
Speaker 1: to to accrue generational wealth. And now my son is
Speaker 1: not coming into the world with debt with most most
Speaker 1: black people come into the world with debt. For example, Um,
Speaker 1: I'm not even gonna say no names or who it is.
Speaker 1: But I have friends who graduated from college and moms
Speaker 1: and dad's just like, yo, you gotta take over this
Speaker 1: credit card bill. And it's just like, I just graduated
Speaker 1: from college and you gave me a fifteen on the
Speaker 1: credit card bill that was in my name. And I
Speaker 1: had no idea that putting your kids on things on
Speaker 1: credit cards not to build credit, because there's a there's
Speaker 1: a science to that where you can put your child
Speaker 1: on as an authorized user on your credit card and
Speaker 1: then by the time they're eighteen, their credit score can
Speaker 1: be in the eight hundreds if you're taking care to
Speaker 1: side of things versus debt that's in their name, and
Speaker 1: then you're passing it on because a lot of times,
Speaker 1: you know, parents find themselves in the financial hardship and
Speaker 1: they're like, I need another line of credit. Let me
Speaker 1: open up this line of credit in my child's name. Yeah,
Speaker 1: when you're trying understand what you know, when when you're
Speaker 1: living in the capitalist country where you're trying to make
Speaker 1: ends meet and things happen, you know, let me open
Speaker 1: up another line of credit in my child's name. And
Speaker 1: then you say to yourself, I'm gonna pay it off
Speaker 1: and then Ultimately, you know, you start if you have
Speaker 1: bad spending habits, or you're not sure what the interest
Speaker 1: rate is going to be, and you think you're making payments,
Speaker 1: but the payment isn't enough to bring down the actual
Speaker 1: totality of the loan, and it's continuously going up even
Speaker 1: though you're making payment. Then you start to see you know,
Speaker 1: five six, And that happened to us. Remember um in
Speaker 1: the end of my rookie year number rookie. At the
Speaker 1: end of the year I retired when we had that
Speaker 1: City card and I was like, Babe, I'm gonna put
Speaker 1: you on the City card. You can use the card,
Speaker 1: but when you use the car, we gotta make sure
Speaker 1: we pay it off. And we were making payments, making payments,
Speaker 1: but not realizing that those payments were going towards an
Speaker 1: interest rate that the skyrocketed up to I think it was.
Speaker 1: And then after a while, you know, I was like, babe,
Speaker 1: have you been looking at where the payments are going?
Speaker 1: You're like, not really, And you were making payments for
Speaker 1: about two years blindly, just think never went down the
Speaker 1: minimum a little more than a minimum, and then before
Speaker 1: you know, you're not you're only paying off interest and
Speaker 1: the principle never went for years, so and it happens
Speaker 1: to people who are trying to be deliberate. So it's
Speaker 1: not like, oh, other people are doing it and we're
Speaker 1: perfect at doing this, because we are examples of not
Speaker 1: being perfect at doing this. But to me, getting this
Speaker 1: property was away number one to have a safe space
Speaker 1: for my my kids and my wife to have autonomy
Speaker 1: over their life. You know, we see everything going on
Speaker 1: out here in the country where kids don't feel comfortable
Speaker 1: walking around their neighborhoods and they don't feel comfortable being
Speaker 1: able to play ball and do things at the park.
Speaker 1: Now my my son's having an opportunity to do this
Speaker 1: in their backyard. You know, they have a basketball court
Speaker 1: in their backyard. Go in the backyard and play. You
Speaker 1: want to go to the pool, Go to the pool
Speaker 1: and play. You don't got to go anywhere else and
Speaker 1: ask anyone else permission to use theirs. You have your own.
Speaker 1: It also gives them a sense of ownership where they
Speaker 1: feel like they can do whatever. You know, I have
Speaker 1: my own pool growing up, I have my own basketball court.
Speaker 1: My dad and my mom provided that for me, so
Speaker 1: I can do whatever I want. Because I watched my
Speaker 1: mom and my dad, so achieving things, not just doing whatever.
Speaker 1: Yeah as far as far as but but even but
Speaker 1: even in that, so many black people grow up in
Speaker 1: life feeling like I can't do what I want. You
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying, My blackness is a prison. You know,
Speaker 1: I'm saying, I can't have to do what's necessary to
Speaker 1: make these ends meet, or I literally just can't do
Speaker 1: what I want. If I'm walking in the street and
Speaker 1: the cop decides he wants to, you know, stop me,
Speaker 1: take my you know, and and wrestle me to the ground,
Speaker 1: I could lose my life if I don't answer the
Speaker 1: right way, I could lose my freedom. You know, you
Speaker 1: you spend so much of your life as a black
Speaker 1: person feeling like you can't do what you want. This
Speaker 1: house was a way for me to show my children that, yes,
Speaker 1: you can, this is your house, This is what you
Speaker 1: can do, and also empower them to think like that,
Speaker 1: because also slavery is a mentality. You know, if you
Speaker 1: constantly walk around thinking like I'm a slave, You're gonna
Speaker 1: exist in this country as a slave. And we have
Speaker 1: so much more empowerment in this country now that if
Speaker 1: if more black children lived like that, you know how
Speaker 1: I get when I talk about this stuff. Emancipate yourself
Speaker 1: for mental slavery, none but ourselves can free our minds.
Speaker 1: I know you're gonna take it back to Jamaica, you
Speaker 1: shout out by Morley, but but no, you're absolutely right
Speaker 1: in that, and I mean also to I want to
Speaker 1: be able to teach our children a sense of pride
Speaker 1: in what they have where they live, being able to
Speaker 1: take care of that because it's also too We've spoken
Speaker 1: previously about dulling the silver spoon and creating adversity within
Speaker 1: their lives and stuff. You know, we we as parents
Speaker 1: want our children to not have to struggle or not
Speaker 1: have to work as hard as we did, but we
Speaker 1: also to want them to appreciate what they have and
Speaker 1: absolutely providing them and letting them know that we're trying
Speaker 1: to take this um, these certain stresses off of your
Speaker 1: life so that way you can invest time in the
Speaker 1: things that you want to do. You are able to
Speaker 1: do your abilities to really hone in on that you
Speaker 1: know you graduate from from from from high school and
Speaker 1: you decide, you know what, mom, dad, I want to
Speaker 1: take a year to travel and kind of explore to
Speaker 1: figure out what it is I want to do like,
Speaker 1: you can't do that because mom and Dad have a
Speaker 1: space where you can then come back and they just
Speaker 1: know that once you've done that, we're gonna want to
Speaker 1: know what's your game plan, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: So I think that this was so important for us
Speaker 1: because those are some of the things that we were
Speaker 1: not afforded, although our parents did work so hard to
Speaker 1: provide for us that we were able to, you know,
Speaker 1: do the things that we wanted to and then some.
Speaker 1: But I will say this, our parents gave us a
Speaker 1: better version of the black experience than they were given.
Speaker 1: And I think that's what I guess that's what generational
Speaker 1: wealth is as well. It's not so much about the finances,
Speaker 1: but it's also the information. I talked to your mom
Speaker 1: the other day and she was, you know, telling me
Speaker 1: the story. Shout out to you and Mimi's relationships. Me
Speaker 1: and MEMI have grown a lot over the years, right,
Speaker 1: We've learn a lot over the years. But she talked
Speaker 1: to me about coming from Jamaica and how you know,
Speaker 1: it was hard for some people to have to come here,
Speaker 1: try to get a small piece of land or property
Speaker 1: here in the States, then send for their children. They
Speaker 1: spend years here building, but then in doing that they
Speaker 1: were able to have their children come here not have
Speaker 1: to pay rent when they go to school and come
Speaker 1: back that everything happened within the house and they can
Speaker 1: go out and buy another property. And then that property
Speaker 1: churned into two and three and four properties. And when
Speaker 1: I look at your family, your mom and dad did that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: your your parents owned four houses. Yeah. My parents moved
Speaker 1: up here from the islands drink and say vincent and
Speaker 1: literally came up here with nothing. It was one of
Speaker 1: those things where it's like my grandmother sent my mom,
Speaker 1: who was the oldest girl, sent her away to America.
Speaker 1: It was like, you know, figure it out. The same
Speaker 1: thing kind of happened with my dad as well. He was,
Speaker 1: you know, the oldest boy, and it's just like you
Speaker 1: gotta go figure it out, um. And they did so
Speaker 1: well for themselves to the point where I really think
Speaker 1: about what they were able to pass down to my
Speaker 1: brother and rochister and I coming here with literally nothing.
Speaker 1: I hear the stories my mom tells sometimes about you know,
Speaker 1: just trying to have a space to sleep in someone's home,
Speaker 1: just to be able to go to school and work,
Speaker 1: and you know, having adversity in that being locked out
Speaker 1: of people's homes like you know, and having to sleep
Speaker 1: outside like I really just look at my mom and
Speaker 1: dad with such admiration for the things that they've done
Speaker 1: to ensure that we now have a little bit of
Speaker 1: something that we went to school with no debt. We're
Speaker 1: you know, I was going I was gonna tell you,
Speaker 1: I was gonna tell you not to cut you off.
Speaker 1: But think about what your parents did with property. Right.
Speaker 1: Your father never made more than fifty dollars a year, right,
Speaker 1: but he bought four property. And then the reason why
Speaker 1: I tell the story is because people think that it's
Speaker 1: outside of the realm of their possibility to own property,
Speaker 1: But it's not. Your dad in the eighties never made
Speaker 1: more than k right, but able to buy I think,
Speaker 1: purchased three homes at the time, fifteen year mortgages, mom,
Speaker 1: fifteen year mortgages because your your mom made really good
Speaker 1: money that your mom made six figures during that time,
Speaker 1: um three mortgages though they had at one time, so
Speaker 1: I think with three mortgages fifteen year mortgages, your father
Speaker 1: ended up paying off those mortgages early, right when it
Speaker 1: was time for you to go to school. He sold
Speaker 1: one of the properties to pay off your student loans.
Speaker 1: When the same thing for your brother. But yeah, I
Speaker 1: didn't really have student loans because of scholarship. That the
Speaker 1: scholarships and stuff, but my brother and sister, you know,
Speaker 1: it just gave us flexibility, gave us the ability to say, okay,
Speaker 1: could you graduated school with no debt, Like here's a car,
Speaker 1: because you know, we're able to do little things for
Speaker 1: you to make that make it that much easier for
Speaker 1: you and then chase your dream to do the things
Speaker 1: that you want to do. You know. So I'm forever
Speaker 1: grateful to my parents for from then setting up that
Speaker 1: kind of lifestyle for On top of that, when your
Speaker 1: parents transition, you and your brother and sister have seven
Speaker 1: figures of equity that you can split amongst the three
Speaker 1: of you for your next generation so when it's time
Speaker 1: to and the biggest part is the biggest part is
Speaker 1: when you do have that type of equity, right, most
Speaker 1: people can't get a property because they don't have a
Speaker 1: down payment. You know, growing up in that, you know
Speaker 1: that hamster will, that is life. You spend every day
Speaker 1: trying to pay a bill, pay a bill, pay a
Speaker 1: bill that you can't save any money in order to
Speaker 1: get a down payment to own anything. Yeah, that's once
Speaker 1: your own property, you always have a down payment own
Speaker 1: more property. And I think that's the dopest thing about,
Speaker 1: you know, creating a legacy for your children through property
Speaker 1: and through land. And for me, this is what that
Speaker 1: was and what it is. And when I think back
Speaker 1: now to the closing process for us and what the
Speaker 1: obccles were that we had to face. Even like we said,
Speaker 1: you know, we were able to show our tax documents
Speaker 1: after a while, we were we had the down payment
Speaker 1: for the home, but there were still things that that
Speaker 1: popped up, like they needed to verify this, or they
Speaker 1: needed extra of that, or they need to dig more
Speaker 1: for this, and comb through that and and shout out
Speaker 1: to Sean Freeman, advising my mentor, my big brother from Flatbush,
Speaker 1: who my father mentor, who walked us through this process,
Speaker 1: literally walked us through this process and said that we
Speaker 1: did not have to worry about any anything. Um. And
Speaker 1: Sean jokes that one of these days he's gonna come
Speaker 1: out here and tell us, he's gonna tell us the
Speaker 1: full story about all the hoops, Because there were hoops
Speaker 1: that we were trying did not even know we were
Speaker 1: jumping through. But he worked along with Mark, you know,
Speaker 1: our CPA, to make sure that that everything was handled
Speaker 1: for us. So when we say it was a roller
Speaker 1: coaster server journey, it definitely was. And I think about
Speaker 1: closing day and how Arian made that special for us,
Speaker 1: and at first I didn't understand at first why it
Speaker 1: was such a celebratory thing. You know. She was like,
Speaker 1: I'm pulling out all the stops, you guys are closing
Speaker 1: on your home, and I'm just like, this is something
Speaker 1: to celebrate the fact that we're able to do that, um,
Speaker 1: you know, and just just be able to create this,
Speaker 1: this this life for our children. It just means that
Speaker 1: much more, you know. So so to kind of give
Speaker 1: you guys, just kind of like a one too on
Speaker 1: advice things that you should know when you are have
Speaker 1: something closing on a home. Just in general. I know
Speaker 1: that different people are gonna have different obstacles, but we
Speaker 1: can highlight maybe a couple of things that are going
Speaker 1: to be helpful tips for people who are maybe in
Speaker 1: the process are looking to do that soon. I do
Speaker 1: have a major tip for entrepreneurs because not only us,
Speaker 1: but I have buddies who are trying to close on
Speaker 1: properties and running through running to the same um hurdle. Right,
Speaker 1: because this class of black entrepreneurship is the largest that
Speaker 1: has ever been in this country. But with that becomes
Speaker 1: a lot of different obstacles. So, for example, underwriter's love
Speaker 1: W two's right, which means they want to see a
Speaker 1: consistent stream of income over a certain amount of time.
Speaker 1: And what we ran into even though Kadin and I
Speaker 1: you know, humble brag, but we made seven figures last year,
Speaker 1: made that money on paper. They wanted to see a
Speaker 1: consistent stream of income over a year, even though we
Speaker 1: had the money in the in the bank. And I
Speaker 1: didn't understand why, and Sean told us it was because
Speaker 1: they want to see a consistent amount of money because
Speaker 1: underwriters believe the money may stop and think that you
Speaker 1: had a good year. Right. But here's the way you
Speaker 1: get around that. If you own a business, right, what
Speaker 1: you do is you set up your corporation as an
Speaker 1: escorp or an LLC, and you write yourself a salary
Speaker 1: which shows a consistent stream of paychecks. You know, I'm saying,
Speaker 1: we we have a partnership with paychecks where we write
Speaker 1: ourselves a salary now every single month, so that they
Speaker 1: can see a consistent W two so that when it
Speaker 1: comes time for us to purchase our next property, we
Speaker 1: don't have to run through the same thing. What I
Speaker 1: was doing, and this is important. What I was doing
Speaker 1: was writing us dividends. So every three months or every quarter,
Speaker 1: I would write code and I have a fat check
Speaker 1: so that we can put in our savings account to
Speaker 1: show that we were making money. But they don't want
Speaker 1: to see dividends. They want to see a W two.
Speaker 1: And it's important for people to know. You have to
Speaker 1: show W two's. You have to have a high credit score,
Speaker 1: which is in the mid seventies or higher, because if
Speaker 1: it's seven mid seven hundreds are higher. Because if it's
Speaker 1: anywhere below that, then they started to get nervous. Tell
Speaker 1: you I was skating, all right, I was. I was.
Speaker 1: I was teetering. I was teetering, all right, only because
Speaker 1: they that credit score thing for me as a joke. Yes,
Speaker 1: But at the same time, I was like, all right,
Speaker 1: this is the game I want to play. Watch I
Speaker 1: had to maneuver some things, but your girl made it
Speaker 1: by a couple of points. And make sure you have
Speaker 1: a down payment that is not going to affect your mortgage.
Speaker 1: So for example, so many people say, hey, I'm looking
Speaker 1: to get into a program, I only have to put
Speaker 1: down five which is fine, you can get into a program.
Speaker 1: But when you look at the interest rate and how
Speaker 1: low the interest rate is now. I think the interest
Speaker 1: rate right now is the lowest has ever been in history,
Speaker 1: is below one percent. But if you don't put down that,
Speaker 1: that interest rate can bubble up to four or five percent.
Speaker 1: And what people don't realize is that they're gonna get
Speaker 1: their money either way. So either you're gonna put the
Speaker 1: money up front and have a low interest rate over
Speaker 1: thirty years, or you're gonna put down a low deposit
Speaker 1: and have a high interest rate over thirty years, which
Speaker 1: is gonna cost you more money in the long term.
Speaker 1: So when you're deciding that you want to buy a home,
Speaker 1: remember is the standard. That's what most banks are looking
Speaker 1: for underwriters. So people, if you're looking at a million
Speaker 1: dollar home and you're looking at two hundred dollars, you
Speaker 1: know you're looking at a five hundred homes looking at
Speaker 1: a hundred thousand dollars. So and that is not you know,
Speaker 1: a small amount of money for people right now, especially
Speaker 1: during the recession and during the pandemic, So you have
Speaker 1: to think about how much of the money you want
Speaker 1: to save. And also they want to see bank statements
Speaker 1: even after you put down the deposit, so it's like
Speaker 1: you put down the five K or you put down
Speaker 1: the two d they want to see that you still
Speaker 1: have money in the bank to sustain that mortgage, not reside.
Speaker 1: And and also they're going to ask for all of
Speaker 1: these things. Two months out, you're gonna provide it, a
Speaker 1: month out, they're gonna ask for it again, and then
Speaker 1: a week before they're gonna ask for it again. So
Speaker 1: make sure that if you borrow any of that money,
Speaker 1: that's an account, absolutely, and it's important for people. It's
Speaker 1: important for people to know that because remember I sold
Speaker 1: two houses and we ran into this with the other
Speaker 1: people I sold the house, they I guess they borrowed money.
Speaker 1: They put money in their account, they showed it, they
Speaker 1: had it, they got a pre approval letter, they asked
Speaker 1: for it again to show it, and they couldn't show
Speaker 1: the money in the account, and we couldn't close. So
Speaker 1: these are things that people need to understand when it
Speaker 1: comes time to close on the home. You have to
Speaker 1: be able to show these documents and be prepared up
Speaker 1: until the day you signed that paper, because once you
Speaker 1: sign that paper, you good. But if you haven't signed
Speaker 1: it yet, they can pull it at any point so
Speaker 1: that you knew all these other things. Because let me
Speaker 1: tell your Deval tried to shelter me from some of
Speaker 1: these stresses. He was stressed. Sean. I was just like, guys,
Speaker 1: I just can't. I'm gonna sit over here while y'all
Speaker 1: just let me know herd go. Well, we we're a team,
Speaker 1: right for sure. I shelter you from that. You shelter
Speaker 1: me from the moving process. Two times we moved across
Speaker 1: country and I wasn't there. Made the right looking. You
Speaker 1: don't disrespect me, but make sure not the left not
Speaker 1: hit you with the right. Baby, you're the budget need stow.
Speaker 1: Did y'all hear all that shout out to Tiffany. I'm
Speaker 1: nowhere there as good as Tiffany. Tiffany is the bomb.
Speaker 1: We're gonna have you back on Tiffany. Tiffany is gonna
Speaker 1: be here every season. She's like a stake, but she's
Speaker 1: like a residence. Yes, every every episode. She has to
Speaker 1: come on every season, just to talk to us about
Speaker 1: finances and shout out to our team because we bought
Speaker 1: our home from a black family. Their realtor was a
Speaker 1: black woman, the attorney was a black woman, was a
Speaker 1: black man. Our attorney was a black man. If everything
Speaker 1: was black, realtor was a black woman, a fully black production.
Speaker 1: It was black black, big black man, black black excellence
Speaker 1: at its finest. All right, now we won't take a
Speaker 1: quick break. That was a lot. That was a lot,
Speaker 1: but um, I hope I'll got some quick tips and tricks.
Speaker 1: We're gonna move into pastor letters after this break. We're
Speaker 1: gonna get into some ads. All right, thank you all
Speaker 1: for coming back. It's time for some listener letters. And
Speaker 1: these are quite lengthy. I love that I had acts
Speaker 1: in previous season for y'all to give us context, and
Speaker 1: now y'all giving us all. I like. It's good though,
Speaker 1: so we can at least give our opinions. Okay, So
Speaker 1: number one, you guys are such an inspiration. I'd like
Speaker 1: to say thank you for extending yourselves the way that
Speaker 1: you do. Thanks Sis, I say sis because she goes
Speaker 1: on to say, my husband and I have been together
Speaker 1: going on nine years and now married for almost six months.
Speaker 1: We're both young, me being twenty five and him twenty seven,
Speaker 1: drive trucks together, no children, no crazy overhead. Within the
Speaker 1: last year, we've paid off a car and gotten our
Speaker 1: first rental property. How did do you stay focused on
Speaker 1: your goals? Do you guys have any tips on how
Speaker 1: to be present and proud of your current accomplishments without
Speaker 1: feeling as if they aren't enough because you feel the
Speaker 1: finish line is still far out. He's going to say
Speaker 1: something and then you start reading this. I was like, so,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell you to celebrate to the small things, Okay,
Speaker 1: big and small. It sometimes becomes a challenge for us
Speaker 1: because we don't have regular nine to five jobs and
Speaker 1: aren't around family often, all while our pears are living
Speaker 1: their best lives and we are considered boring because we
Speaker 1: just love to be around one another and enjoy things
Speaker 1: such as writing, looking at one million dollar plus homes, cars, land,
Speaker 1: et cetera. I mean that sounds like the same ship
Speaker 1: I but that's just pure enjoyment for us because that's
Speaker 1: where we aspire to be and what we want out
Speaker 1: of life. Also, how do you find good mentors as yourselves?
Speaker 1: We didn't come from a financial literacy background or well
Speaker 1: off families. So us with us just by passing milestones
Speaker 1: that either our parents have met neither our parents have met. Um,
Speaker 1: we're working hard on ourselves and our overachievers. Though they're supportive,
Speaker 1: we both feel like they will. I'm sorry, I'm having
Speaker 1: a hard time to day. No. No. Though they are supportive,
Speaker 1: we both feel as if they will allow us to
Speaker 1: cut corners. Okay, got Youah, that was a long and
Speaker 1: Jones calling me hi, Okay. So, Sis, if you and
Speaker 1: your bay find joy in aspiring for things, dreaming about things,
Speaker 1: thinking about, almost obsessing over where you see yourself, you
Speaker 1: were not alone because literally that was devalized and we
Speaker 1: still do it, still do it to this day. But
Speaker 1: I will say, of the two of us, I'm the
Speaker 1: one that's always celebrating the moments that are happening as
Speaker 1: they're happening. Devourable book a role on the show, and
Speaker 1: while that show is airing, be thinking about the role
Speaker 1: he does not have or the role he wants. And
Speaker 1: that's just how you are. And I think that's that
Speaker 1: continues to be your motivation and continues to be your
Speaker 1: driving force. Whereas I tend to be the balance that says, bababe,
Speaker 1: you know, I just want to have you celebrate this
Speaker 1: moment because we are doing well where we are right now,
Speaker 1: you know, but never losing side of the fact that
Speaker 1: we want those things that. I mean, if your friends
Speaker 1: are not into that as a hobby as the past time,
Speaker 1: that's okay to let them be happy doing that. Y'
Speaker 1: all can be happy over here because that Val and
Speaker 1: I for a long time, and when people did not
Speaker 1: have the foresight to see the things that we saw
Speaker 1: when it came to even just creating content or doing
Speaker 1: the things that we wanted to do with our careers professionally,
Speaker 1: that did not deter us. So we did have moments
Speaker 1: where were kind of felt like, damn, are we crazy
Speaker 1: for doing this? Because everyone's saying that we're crazy, everyone's
Speaker 1: saying that we're doing too much, everyone's saying that we're
Speaker 1: sharing too much. But we found joy in that, we
Speaker 1: found join being our purpose, and here we are. All
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say to you, man, is that there is
Speaker 1: a delusional quality that all successful people have. I say
Speaker 1: that all the time, and I believe it. In order
Speaker 1: to see yourself, in order to believe that you can
Speaker 1: do something, you have to see it first. If you
Speaker 1: see it for yourself and no one else sees it,
Speaker 1: that don't mean that it's not possible. That just means
Speaker 1: that they haven't seen it yet and they won't see
Speaker 1: it until you do it. So continue to manifest things
Speaker 1: and look at those million dollar homes and and and
Speaker 1: buy bigger and buy better because that's what you want
Speaker 1: to do. All I ask that you remember to pay
Speaker 1: it forward because, like we talked about in an earlier episode,
Speaker 1: you have a duty to serve as a human. So
Speaker 1: as long as you continue to gain access to different
Speaker 1: things and and get more resources, you have an obligation
Speaker 1: to continue to pay it forward. So as long as
Speaker 1: you pay it forward and you continue to grow and
Speaker 1: grow and grow, you'll be fine. And and we talked
Speaker 1: about on another podcast. Um, what you just choose to do.
Speaker 1: Find fun with your spouse is your prerogative. You know,
Speaker 1: trying to serve too many guys and serve too many
Speaker 1: other people is going to be an issue for your relationship.
Speaker 1: If you and your husband enjoy looking at how houses
Speaker 1: and riding together, then do that because that's your life partner.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying you can include those who
Speaker 1: want to do that. But um, keep doing it, keep
Speaker 1: being great, keep being happy, keep buying off, buying properties
Speaker 1: and paying off cars or buying Amazon packages. I see
Speaker 1: the ups were in the livingroom right now, y'all, and
Speaker 1: I see that the ups this ups should be sweating
Speaker 1: coming here. He looked at me and my eyes. Sometimes
Speaker 1: he's just be like, that's ups FedEx usps a lot
Speaker 1: of them, man, All right now, I love that. Keep
Speaker 1: keep on, keeping on, y'all, Keeping on y'all, y'all do
Speaker 1: what you gotta do. All right. Let me start off.
Speaker 1: I say that I'm a big fan of the podcast,
Speaker 1: and I've been listening since the beginning. I'm a huge fan.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much. I'm twenty five years old and
Speaker 1: my fiance is seven, and we just got engaged. We
Speaker 1: met each other in college and been together for six years.
Speaker 1: The use it for my email is that I'm seeking
Speaker 1: advice on what to do next. The big question for
Speaker 1: us is whether to have a wedding or buy a house.
Speaker 1: We've been there, little man. We are currently living in
Speaker 1: a one bedroom apartment. My fiance has expressed it although
Speaker 1: we would love to have a wedding. We would like
Speaker 1: to move or he would like to move into a
Speaker 1: house in the next two days. I don't even got
Speaker 1: to read the rest I don't gotta read the restors.
Speaker 1: Let me tell you something. Tell okay, well, let me
Speaker 1: skim the rest of it, the rest of Codeine said
Speaker 1: to me in two thousand and ten that she wanted
Speaker 1: to have the big wedding because she felt like she
Speaker 1: was going to get both. She felt like that. She
Speaker 1: felt like, I get the big wedding, I'll get the house.
Speaker 1: And she was right. Eventually she got the house and
Speaker 1: she had the wedding. But this is the thing. We
Speaker 1: got the wedding, and right after the wedding was done,
Speaker 1: she ain't care about the wedding. We don't. We don't
Speaker 1: ever watch the wedding videos. We barely look at the
Speaker 1: wedding pictures. We had had three hundred twenty people that
Speaker 1: a wedding. More or less. We have three people that
Speaker 1: our wedding. We don't talk to none of them. That's
Speaker 1: okay to a small person. We like listen, the whole web,
Speaker 1: the whole big wedding thing, the whole platinum wedding thing
Speaker 1: is played out. It's played out unless but that's in
Speaker 1: retrospect after I've had that. Unless you can't afford it,
Speaker 1: and you can do it within the means, and you
Speaker 1: can enjoy yourself within the means. Do not extend yourself
Speaker 1: and choose not to buy your house because you want
Speaker 1: to have a wedding. I don't need to read the
Speaker 1: rest of this to tell you, bro, ma'am, do not
Speaker 1: do it. Son. We spent ten years in an apartment.
Speaker 1: We're like, ma'am, man, man, I know a crackhead when
Speaker 1: I see one man, you as a crackhead. When you
Speaker 1: pay for that wedding, man, you a crackhead. Now, now
Speaker 1: you manage your husband, ma'am, because he can't get you
Speaker 1: the house man because you wanted the wedd and you
Speaker 1: don't have to deal with that man. That's what judge,
Speaker 1: That's what Judge Brown would tell you. We're not calling
Speaker 1: your crackhead. We're just making fun of Judge Joe Brown.
Speaker 1: But we know Judge mathis like no, but seriously, like
Speaker 1: we get so caught up in doing things for the ground.
Speaker 1: Well she said when she said, am I holding onto
Speaker 1: that to the little girl for wanting this dream wedding
Speaker 1: and should be consider being financially responsible. Being financially responsible,
Speaker 1: don't she said, they won't be able to get married three.
Speaker 1: That's the case. So it's like, are you gonna delay
Speaker 1: being married because you have to wait two years for
Speaker 1: the wedding. Well, here's the thing. Here's the thing though,
Speaker 1: the financial responsibility, it's a time. Dates, all that stuff
Speaker 1: don't matter, Like it really don't matter. You have to
Speaker 1: make decisions with foresight. Some people rush to get married
Speaker 1: because the date is perfect. I got married in seven
Speaker 1: eight nine ten, Like what the funk? Like now you're
Speaker 1: divorced in seven eight nine eleven? Like nobody give a ship?
Speaker 1: Like that's what like? People need to have start having
Speaker 1: foresight and stop thinking surface level. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: And when I say people, I mean us too. But
Speaker 1: I did that this one though. Right, So we weren't
Speaker 1: able to have our vironnal in July four, But if
Speaker 1: we have a viurnal, we have been able to get
Speaker 1: this house. No, we wouldn't have. No, we wouldn't have.
Speaker 1: It depends if I could have turned it into a business.
Speaker 1: But realistically, what you're trying to a business? But Coadean
Speaker 1: spends money like it's a business. So we probably wouldn't
Speaker 1: have had the down payment for this house. And now
Speaker 1: look at I'm just saying. I'm just saying, but we
Speaker 1: have the house and I will have my bronal at
Speaker 1: some point next year. Financial responsibility requires foresight. Use it.
Speaker 1: Trust me, you will feel better in the long run
Speaker 1: when you have years of happiness and stress free living
Speaker 1: as opposed to twenty four hours of the biggest party
Speaker 1: of your life. I tell you that was like literally
Speaker 1: us seven. Since I have to say, as a big sis,
Speaker 1: what I would advise my sister to do is to
Speaker 1: get that stability financially. Yes, you can always have a party.
Speaker 1: Yes you have a party. Yeah we did. We were
Speaker 1: going to do ten COVID. You can't do nothing with COVID.
Speaker 1: You're gonna be massed up. You're gonna look at these pictures.
Speaker 1: They're gonna go back in time, look at these pittus.
Speaker 1: Everybody's gonna be like this. You're gonna be like, why
Speaker 1: do we rush to have this big as party? I
Speaker 1: gotta ask, Josh, what's that? What's that been like? Josh? Like,
Speaker 1: you know, filming weddings, capturing weddings, get a crib, build
Speaker 1: some some equity, so that you can live the rest
Speaker 1: of your life the way you want to, as opposed
Speaker 1: to living the rest of your life the way you
Speaker 1: have to because you spent money on a stupid ass party. Period.
Speaker 1: It's not like you have some resentment built up with you.
Speaker 1: But anyway, that's no. We worked, we worked our way
Speaker 1: out of it. We worked our way out of it.
Speaker 1: But I'm still a little like I got a little PTSD,
Speaker 1: Like we could have owned a Brownstone. We could own
Speaker 1: the Brownstone in Brooklyn right now. I could have had
Speaker 1: two million dollars of equity right now on the two
Speaker 1: hundred dollar purchase if it wasn't for this beautiful person
Speaker 1: to my left, right here, who said to me, I
Speaker 1: don't I don't really even want a house right now.
Speaker 1: I don't mind saying an apartment here, I don't mind
Speaker 1: staying here. I love it. Came back the honeymoon like
Speaker 1: I hate it here. I was like what I was like,
Speaker 1: wait a secondode the house is not coming after the wedding,
Speaker 1: is it? And this was crazy. Y'all tried to kill
Speaker 1: me gifts. Y'all tried to kill me for my pressure comment.
Speaker 1: You tried to kill me for my pressure, but I
Speaker 1: don't know what I have been through trying to provide
Speaker 1: the type of light that this woman says she wants,
Speaker 1: only for her to be like I was stupid for
Speaker 1: saying that back then. But y'all killed me. But y'all
Speaker 1: killed me. But you know what, I'm gonna take it.
Speaker 1: You know I'm gonna take that. You know I'm gonna
Speaker 1: take the killing because because I'm speaking, I'm speaking my truth.
Speaker 1: And and you cute while you do it. Look at you,
Speaker 1: you ain't even sweating. These conversations used to make him sweat.
Speaker 1: Look like I used to be about to pass out
Speaker 1: having this conversation about this. Do I have to let
Speaker 1: me die beforehead? Okay, all right, there you go. He's
Speaker 1: a little shiny right there. You get stressed out thinking
Speaker 1: about it, But I don't know exactly. We're a good
Speaker 1: place now with this. Tell that to yourself. You owe
Speaker 1: me a stone in Brooklyn. You got a moment of
Speaker 1: truth or what? First of all, the moment of truth,
Speaker 1: don't let your wife talking out of buying the brownston't
Speaker 1: want to have a wedding done? And then moment of truth, girl,
Speaker 1: financial stability over the wedding. I'm telling you that as
Speaker 1: a big sister. Okay, but get the wedding one day.
Speaker 1: Though wedding was fun, I ain't Annie was fun. Um.
Speaker 1: But yeah. If you'd like to be featured as one
Speaker 1: of our listener letters and send us a whole blur
Speaker 1: with lots of context, please do email us at dead
Speaker 1: as Advice at gmail dot com. That's d E A
Speaker 1: D A S S A d V I C E
Speaker 1: at gmail dot com. All right, sounds good? All right, Well,
Speaker 1: we gave my moments of truth. They were kind of fun.
Speaker 1: My my real moment of truth though, My real moment
Speaker 1: of truth is that, um, the American dream is ownership.
Speaker 1: It's not working. Ownership on land own property. You can
Speaker 1: pass it down your your kids, your grandkids, grandkids, grandkids
Speaker 1: will appreciate at you more if you get a piece
Speaker 1: of property and you own it. My moment of truth.
Speaker 1: With that ownership comes education. So you're working for and
Speaker 1: we are busting our asks for right now for our
Speaker 1: children to create this legacy. Be sure to educate them
Speaker 1: so they can continue to grow that legacy for years
Speaker 1: to come. Because the worst thing is busting your ass
Speaker 1: for something and somebody pissing it away. That ain't about
Speaker 1: to happen. Man, Where the education reside? Where the education
Speaker 1: reside in the Ellis household? I know that that's so,
Speaker 1: Mary had a little lamb. Be sure to follow us,
Speaker 1: find us on social media. Dead asked the podcast, and
Speaker 1: of course I'm Cadine, I am and I am devout.
Speaker 1: And if you're listening on Apple podcast, be sure to rate,
Speaker 1: review and subscribe to your boy and girl. I we
Speaker 1: love y'all. Well, appreciate your dead Asses back, y'all. Where's
Speaker 1: this dead Ass reside As resides right here. Dead Ass
Speaker 1: is a production if I Heart Media podcast Network and
Speaker 1: is produced by Dinorapinia and Triple. Follow the podcast on
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Speaker 1: a Thing.