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Speaker 1: Purchasing this home was not about flossing. It was about legacy.

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Speaker 1: M dead ass. That's a good one. Well, if I

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Speaker 1: tell you all the number of times I've cried during

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Speaker 1: this process, It's been an array of motions, mostly good ones,

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Speaker 1: though dead as dead as hey. I'm Cadine and and

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Speaker 1: we're the Ellises. You may know us from posting funny

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Speaker 1: videos with our voice and reading each other publicly as

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Speaker 1: a form of therapy. Wait, I'll make you need therapy

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Speaker 1: most days. Wow. And one more important thing to mention,

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Speaker 1: we're married. We are. We created this podcast to open

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Speaker 1: dialogue about some of life's most taboo topics, things most

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Speaker 1: folks don't want to talk about. Through the lens of

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Speaker 1: a millennial married couple. Dead ass is the term that

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Speaker 1: we say every day. So when we say dead ass,

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Speaker 1: we're actually saying facts, the truth, the whole truth, and

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Speaker 1: nothing but the truth. Were about to take phillow talk

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Speaker 1: to our whole level. Dead ass starts right now, talk

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Speaker 1: about divine intervention. All right, now, real quick, Okay, let

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Speaker 1: me take you all back to about two and fifteen.

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Speaker 1: Kadina and I had a tax guy. Right the tax

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Speaker 1: guy was doing our taxes. Everything was going well. Um,

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Speaker 1: I wasn't doing TV as much. I was doing commercials. UM.

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Speaker 1: I still own some other properties, and then was doing makeup,

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Speaker 1: and then was doing some hostess. We had a lot

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Speaker 1: of things going on. Two sixteen happens, Trump wins the presidency.

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Speaker 1: I think two thousand seventeen the government shuts down, right,

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Speaker 1: I think that's when we had the government shut down.

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Speaker 1: I'm just giving you a little timeline. Two thousand eighteen,

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Speaker 1: we go to let's start the home buying process, trying

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Speaker 1: to decide where we're going to figure it out right.

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Speaker 1: A tax guy says, well, I gotta catch you guys

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Speaker 1: up on taxes with the you know, with the government

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Speaker 1: being shut down, we don't have any of your taxes prepared.

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Speaker 1: So I'm not looking to buy a home right now,

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Speaker 1: but let's make sure we have that in the back

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Speaker 1: pocket when it is ready. Two thousand nineteen happens. Kadeen

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Speaker 1: and I are ready to move to l A. In

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Speaker 1: order to even rent a property. They want to see

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Speaker 1: your tax statements. Two started two. I go to my

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Speaker 1: tax guy, said, hey, I need my last two years

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Speaker 1: tax returns. Can I get those tax returns to I

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Speaker 1: can apply for this property. Don't hear from my tax guy.

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Speaker 1: Now I'm nervous. Right, I'm able to use my bank

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Speaker 1: statements because Kadina and I do well enough to prove

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Speaker 1: that we have money in the bank, so I'm able

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Speaker 1: to rent the property, not work focused on it. Eventually

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Speaker 1: my tax guy will get around to me. Now it's

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Speaker 1: Kadina and I are actively looking to purchase a home

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Speaker 1: to build a legacy for ourselves and our three boys.

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Speaker 1: I say a tax guy, I need those tax documents.

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Speaker 1: Don't hear back from him. Start doing my own research.

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Speaker 1: Go on i rs dot com. My taxes have not

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Speaker 1: been filed since two thousand and fifteen. What tight? Now

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Speaker 1: I got a new tax guy, black Man, my financial advisor.

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Speaker 1: Black Man walks me through the process of focusing on

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Speaker 1: getting my taxes and everything squared away. Major, major, major

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Speaker 1: mess and clean up. Right, long story short with that.

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Speaker 1: Had to pay some penalties of course, because you're late.

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Speaker 1: Had to pay taxes for the past previous five years.

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Speaker 1: Good thinking, and I've been doing well enough and we

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Speaker 1: were saving because we always save money to pay our taxes.

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Speaker 1: So we paid all of our tax and everything right.

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Speaker 1: But the issue was we did not have our twenty

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Speaker 1: nineteen taxes ready to purchase the home that Codeine wanted

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Speaker 1: to look at in July. So Codeine was very, very disappointed.

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Speaker 1: Very She was, this is the house. I can't believe it.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't really cry. I wasn't at tears,

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Speaker 1: but I was near tears. The trembling your voice that

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Speaker 1: you get. She definitely had the tremble in her. Fast

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Speaker 1: forward to last October. Dean comes to visit me while

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Speaker 1: I'm filming Bigger and she said, Hey, there's some houses

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Speaker 1: here that opened up. My taxes still aren't done for

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Speaker 1: She says, um, I'm gonna just go take a look

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Speaker 1: at them. Traditionally the type of house we were looking at,

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Speaker 1: they won't even let you in the door unless you

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Speaker 1: have a preapproval letter and your taxes done. So I'm like,

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Speaker 1: if you can get us to go see a house,

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Speaker 1: let's go look at the house. Calls to me, she says, hey,

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Speaker 1: I'll be there Tuesday. They have available on Wednesday. I

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Speaker 1: film on Wednesday. I don't know what I'm going to

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Speaker 1: be done. I happen to get done early on that Wednesday.

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Speaker 1: Get out. She's like, baby, you gotta come see this house.

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Speaker 1: I rush over here. I get here. The minute I

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Speaker 1: walk in the door, Kaudin is looking at me with

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Speaker 1: that face, so I know what that means, all right,

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Speaker 1: and I'm like, this must be the house. This must

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Speaker 1: be the house. So we walked through the house, and

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Speaker 1: what did you think? I fell in love with the house.

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Speaker 1: I'm not gonna lie, I fell in love. But in

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Speaker 1: my in my defense, I was thinking, we're never going

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Speaker 1: to be able to get this house because houses like

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Speaker 1: this don't stay on the market for too long. I

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Speaker 1: will say that I went in the house knowing that

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Speaker 1: we may not be able to get it, but at

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Speaker 1: least I wanted to see what was out there right right, okay,

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Speaker 1: I um, I said, okay, just know that we don't

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Speaker 1: have our taxes over two nineteen and twenty, and we

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Speaker 1: don't have a pre approval letter, so we can just

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Speaker 1: go look and see if this is something that's in

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Speaker 1: the you know, the realm, giving this is what we're

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Speaker 1: looking for kind of vibe. By the end of looking

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Speaker 1: through the house, Kadin says, baby, I want this house.

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Speaker 1: I said, okay, let me see what I can do.

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Speaker 1: I go back to the car. I get a text

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Speaker 1: message from my financial advisor. Hey, you're two thousand nineteen

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Speaker 1: taxes is a complete I'm like, are you serious? He's

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Speaker 1: just like, yes, it's complete. I said, I'm glad that

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Speaker 1: you say that, because, Um, I'm literally standing in the

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Speaker 1: house that I want to buy, the driveway of the

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Speaker 1: house we want. And then he's just like, um, are

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Speaker 1: you serious? I said yes, He said, you know, is

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Speaker 1: this the house? I said yes. He said, because I

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Speaker 1: could have a pre approval letter for you tomorrow. I

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Speaker 1: was like, you gotta be kidding me, Sean. I was

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Speaker 1: like trying, you have to be kidding me. He was

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Speaker 1: just like, no, Um, I could have that for you tomorrow.

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Speaker 1: This is what you want to do. I said, can

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Speaker 1: you get the pre approval because we would like to

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Speaker 1: make an offer on the house tomorrow if possible. Wake

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Speaker 1: up the next morning, get an email pre approval letter

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Speaker 1: that covers the cost of the house. We sit down.

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Speaker 1: We sit down with out realtor. Arian shout out to

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Speaker 1: Arian Elsbury. Arian, she got she got like accents and

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Speaker 1: stuff in her name, but it's implied. Arian shout out

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Speaker 1: to Arian Ellisbury. Real to He said, we're gonna put

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Speaker 1: in an offer, but you never know with things. Like this,

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Speaker 1: because you know, someone in the house had gotten a

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Speaker 1: ton of offers apparently the weekend before, so Arian created

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Speaker 1: this great letter for us, encompassing everything that we wanted

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Speaker 1: to do as a family. She puts in the offer

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Speaker 1: on Wednesday. No, puts in the offer on Thursday. I'm

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Speaker 1: the best storyteller here. Yeah, your days are off, but

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Speaker 1: I got it. She put in the offer on Thursday.

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Speaker 1: We wake up Friday morning to an approval and an

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Speaker 1: acceptance of the offer, and I was like, baby, we're

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Speaker 1: gonna get this house. And the funny thing is that's

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Speaker 1: when the journey started. And that was not the easiest

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Speaker 1: journey that we have spent purchasing at home. And this

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Speaker 1: is our fourth, a third, our third home that we purchased.

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Speaker 1: Right So, after this story time, we're gonna we're gonna

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Speaker 1: jump into we're going to jump to the real process.

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Speaker 1: We're gonna have to tell you how that process dead

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Speaker 1: as where the money and that's home and that's all.

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Speaker 1: Mary had a little lamps. All know is where the

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Speaker 1: money resides. And then Mary had a little lamp and

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Speaker 1: that's about it. I can what don't reside and that's

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Speaker 1: in bank account. Its telling there no more. Okay, they

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Speaker 1: got us for all the coins? How is this being expensive?

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Speaker 1: But the house is expensive, but the legacy is priceless,

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Speaker 1: right this prices and coins that go with legacies. However,

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Speaker 1: it's what it meant for us to be able to

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Speaker 1: finally purchase a home that's going to be home based

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Speaker 1: for us where we plan on raising our boys. I mean,

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Speaker 1: let me tell y'all, I've had moments where I'm just

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Speaker 1: like vision and before we even got to the house

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Speaker 1: and before we moved in, I had moments where I

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Speaker 1: was envisioning like like Jackson on the lawn, like going

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Speaker 1: to prompt and like stuff like that, you know what

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Speaker 1: I mean. And I just finally feel like we have

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Speaker 1: home base. For so many years we were debating on

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Speaker 1: where we were going to move to, where our careers

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Speaker 1: we're going to take us. And I think one thing

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Speaker 1: that we were able to discover during the lockdown on

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Speaker 1: the pandemic everything that's been happening um around us, is

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Speaker 1: that we were able to kind of maneuver and work home. UM.

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Speaker 1: We didn't necessarily have to be in a particular city

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Speaker 1: or state to work UM and then being booked for

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Speaker 1: acting gigs and things like that then would require travel,

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Speaker 1: but we wanted somewhere for the boys to be grounded.

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Speaker 1: Here we are in Georgia, Yes, in Georgia and enjoying it.

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Speaker 1: Enjoying Georgia. So far, so good. But I will say

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Speaker 1: this so that anyone looking to purchase at home, do

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Speaker 1: not wake up one morning and think, excuse me, do

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Speaker 1: not wake up one morning and think that you just

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Speaker 1: like you know what, I'm gonna just go buy a

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Speaker 1: house soon. It is a long process and you have

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Speaker 1: to be prepared from eighteen months prior. Have all of

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Speaker 1: your ducks in order. Because my two least favorite words

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Speaker 1: right now in the universe is underwriters. I hate underwriters.

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Speaker 1: I hate them. They combed through our life like like

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Speaker 1: the f beyond. Well, there's a nitpickiness that goes with

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Speaker 1: black home ownership. Absolutely call it what it is. Well,

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Speaker 1: let's um, so let's go, let's let's let's start with this.

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Speaker 1: You know, maybe have some percentages. The importance of home

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Speaker 1: ownership changes from generation to generation, and that's fair to say, right,

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Speaker 1: But what we know is that home ownership is one

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Speaker 1: of the best ways to change the trajectory of your

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Speaker 1: family's wealth. And as a black family, owning a home

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Speaker 1: is powerful enough to change the future of the culture.

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Speaker 1: Absolutely right, absolutely that started, or you can jump into

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Speaker 1: your stats. Actually so black, Let's let's get into some

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Speaker 1: of these stats by creating a new legacy for black

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Speaker 1: home ownership. Right In the first quarter of black families

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Speaker 1: own their home compared to seventy three point seven percent

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Speaker 1: of white families, according to the Census Bureau. The gap

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Speaker 1: is wider in some cities, with just of black families

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Speaker 1: owning a home in Minneapolis compared with seventy six percent

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Speaker 1: of whites, which is the widest gap in the United States.

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Speaker 1: Cities with more than one million resident are studied by

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Speaker 1: Redfin real estate brokers. Found in DC of black households

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Speaker 1: are homeowners, with the highest rate in the country, but

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Speaker 1: far lower than the seventy percent of white households at

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Speaker 1: homeowners now here, These now, these numbers I'm about to

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Speaker 1: give you right now are very very important. According to

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Speaker 1: a recent study from Landing Tree, black home buyers are

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Speaker 1: denied mortgages twelve point six four percent of the time.

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Speaker 1: The overall mortgage denial rate is six point one percent.

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Speaker 1: So we double that all right, state by state, neighborhood

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Speaker 1: by neighborhood. Black families pay more in property taxes each

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Speaker 1: year than the white family would in the same situation.

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Speaker 1: Explain that because our schooling situation is far worse than

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Speaker 1: any other demographic, but we pay more in property taxes

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Speaker 1: when property taffic taxes typically cover the schooling and rolls

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Speaker 1: and stuff like that. Absolutely, the homeownership gap between blacks

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Speaker 1: and whites is larger today than it was in nine

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Speaker 1: thirty four. Think about that just in terms of like

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Speaker 1: what's being passed out oterational wealth. When UM, which is

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Speaker 1: when the Federal Housing Administration UM was established, says Donald

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Speaker 1: sorry Donal Williams, president of the National Association. Let me

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Speaker 1: give a little bit of a little context about that. Right, Um,

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Speaker 1: The fh A was established after the Great Depression. Right

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Speaker 1: so there was a housing shortage and FDR decided that

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Speaker 1: we needed to create more houses for middle class family,

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Speaker 1: especially coming after the war. So the f h A

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Speaker 1: was created and they started to develop all of these

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Speaker 1: houses for UM suburban areas. This is the crazy part

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Speaker 1: about the f h A. The government then gave subsidies

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Speaker 1: to contractors who built homes for white homeowners, but said

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Speaker 1: you can only get the subsidies as contractors, as if

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Speaker 1: you decide if you agree not to sell to black families.

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Speaker 1: So think about that. That's where redlining started. Now, so

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Speaker 1: you built all of these homes, and you said, anybody

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Speaker 1: can hone these homes except for black people. And what

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Speaker 1: do you think happened to those people who own the homes.

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Speaker 1: Those homes accruede wealth, they've been great greater value over years,

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Speaker 1: was a property value, and they passed those properties down

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Speaker 1: to their families. What do you think happened to the

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Speaker 1: black families who couldn't purchase homes, They went built their

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Speaker 1: own homes and neighborhoods like Tulsa, Oklahoma, Roswell, Orangeburg, South Carolina,

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Speaker 1: which ultimately were destroyed, burned down, and they weren't covered

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Speaker 1: by insurances. You want to know why the government also

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Speaker 1: said that we're not going to insure black homes. This

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Speaker 1: is a fact. This is not something I'm making up.

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Speaker 1: Insurance companies and the government did not mandate for black

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Speaker 1: homes to be insured, even if they were close to

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Speaker 1: white communities. So now, even if you took your money

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Speaker 1: and you built a home, and you built land, and

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Speaker 1: you built neighborhoods, when they were torn down or they

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Speaker 1: were burned down and bombed. They were left disintegrated with nothing.

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Speaker 1: You got nothing from nothing. We're starting from scratch. So

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Speaker 1: when people ask why the wealth gap is so huge

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Speaker 1: in this country, that's a huge part the reason why

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Speaker 1: for sure, and it's just today. Black homeowners are five

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Speaker 1: times as likely to own in a formerly red lined

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Speaker 1: neighborhood than a green line one. Yes, that's interesting. So

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Speaker 1: what people need to understand about redlining is that redlining

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Speaker 1: is is a map that creates a space where these

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Speaker 1: property values are giving less value. So black families, obviously

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Speaker 1: black families and black neighborhoods were given less value because

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Speaker 1: their homes were considered less but also if they did

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Speaker 1: get insurance, their insurance payments and this is still happening

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Speaker 1: to it today a way higher. And we had president

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Speaker 1: now President Joe Biden on our podcast to confirm that

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Speaker 1: very fact that if he as a president of the

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Speaker 1: United States, older home identical two hours in the same neighborhood,

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Speaker 1: they would insure his home at a lower rate that

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Speaker 1: it would ensure Dean in mind, and our property taxes

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Speaker 1: would be and our probably text more so. And this

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Speaker 1: is and especially with redlining. That's that's just how things work.

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Speaker 1: And that was a way for them to continue to

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Speaker 1: marginalize black families and black you. And which leads us

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Speaker 1: to why and why I said it was it was

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Speaker 1: a legacy move, not a stunt move. Right for sure,

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Speaker 1: you know because um one thing I also know about

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Speaker 1: owning a property is that if you own a property

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Speaker 1: large enough where your children can not only grow here

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Speaker 1: but also raise their families, you're keeping so much money

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Speaker 1: in your house. I'm gonna do a little bit of

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Speaker 1: math for you, and was like a human calculator. So

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Speaker 1: let me be ready, be ready, for ready for you.

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Speaker 1: Remember when I bought my car, my my Audi A seven,

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Speaker 1: the payment was a thousand dollars a month, plus insurance

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Speaker 1: and gas was five dollars a month. Yes, so that's

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Speaker 1: fifteen hulls a month. That's eighteen thousand dollars a year

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Speaker 1: I was spending on that damn car. Right. I had

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Speaker 1: that car for a three year lease. Eighteen times three

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Speaker 1: is fifty four thousand dollars I spent on that car. Right,

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Speaker 1: All that money is gone double lot because of the rent.

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Speaker 1: A month in rent, that's a hundred and eight thousand

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Speaker 1: dollars over three years that went to someone else other

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Speaker 1: than my family. You see what I'm saying, A hundred

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Speaker 1: eight thousand dollars in three years that I I'm never

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Speaker 1: going to get back. And I started to realize, if

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Speaker 1: I have a home where my sons when they're trying

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Speaker 1: to figure out life, when they're near early twenties too,

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Speaker 1: late twenties, early thirties, and they're trying to figure out

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Speaker 1: what they want to do with their life, if they

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Speaker 1: can stay in a different part of the house and

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Speaker 1: still feel like an adult and I have to pay

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Speaker 1: rent to someone else, but stay here and figure their

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Speaker 1: life out, that a hundred and eight thousand dollars could

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Speaker 1: be were in their pocket. But you know it's funny.

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Speaker 1: It's opposite what we're taught or what the black community

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Speaker 1: has tend to have done over the years. Absolutely, okay,

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Speaker 1: you can work now, starting even before you're eighteen, and

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Speaker 1: you can move out and be technically an adult according

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Speaker 1: to the government, but as early as you can be

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Speaker 1: out there working. We're putting our kids to work because

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Speaker 1: they want, We want them to be able to contribute

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Speaker 1: to the household, to be able to help or at

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Speaker 1: eighteen you're now an adult, you can be on your own.

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Speaker 1: And then also too, there's kind of like this feeling

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Speaker 1: when you turn eighteen, like, shoot, I am an adult,

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Speaker 1: I want to be out. Yeah. Meanwhile, I was ready

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Speaker 1: to come back home several times after that. So if

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Speaker 1: we can create an environment, like you said, or a

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Speaker 1: space where our children can then feel comfortable coming back

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Speaker 1: home and knowing that they have a little piece of

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Speaker 1: you know, their own little privacy if you as an

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Speaker 1: adult to be able to to work or to explore,

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Speaker 1: or to be in school and know that they have

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Speaker 1: the comfort of not having to worry about paying bills

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Speaker 1: right away. But but that's only the first part though.

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Speaker 1: The fact that they don't have to pay rent to

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Speaker 1: someone else is the first part. When we own this

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Speaker 1: home outright and we move on and pass away, our

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Speaker 1: kids then own this property and now have equity and

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Speaker 1: something that they can call their own. And that's when

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Speaker 1: you pass things down like that, that's how you start

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Speaker 1: to to accrue generational wealth. And now my son is

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Speaker 1: not coming into the world with debt with most most

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Speaker 1: black people come into the world with debt. For example, Um,

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Speaker 1: I'm not even gonna say no names or who it is.

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Speaker 1: But I have friends who graduated from college and moms

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Speaker 1: and dad's just like, yo, you gotta take over this

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Speaker 1: credit card bill. And it's just like, I just graduated

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Speaker 1: from college and you gave me a fifteen on the

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Speaker 1: credit card bill that was in my name. And I

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Speaker 1: had no idea that putting your kids on things on

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Speaker 1: credit cards not to build credit, because there's a there's

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Speaker 1: a science to that where you can put your child

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Speaker 1: on as an authorized user on your credit card and

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Speaker 1: then by the time they're eighteen, their credit score can

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Speaker 1: be in the eight hundreds if you're taking care to

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Speaker 1: side of things versus debt that's in their name, and

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Speaker 1: then you're passing it on because a lot of times,

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Speaker 1: you know, parents find themselves in the financial hardship and

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Speaker 1: they're like, I need another line of credit. Let me

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Speaker 1: open up this line of credit in my child's name. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: when you're trying understand what you know, when when you're

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Speaker 1: living in the capitalist country where you're trying to make

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Speaker 1: ends meet and things happen, you know, let me open

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Speaker 1: up another line of credit in my child's name. And

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Speaker 1: then you say to yourself, I'm gonna pay it off

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Speaker 1: and then Ultimately, you know, you start if you have

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Speaker 1: bad spending habits, or you're not sure what the interest

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Speaker 1: rate is going to be, and you think you're making payments,

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Speaker 1: but the payment isn't enough to bring down the actual

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Speaker 1: totality of the loan, and it's continuously going up even

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Speaker 1: though you're making payment. Then you start to see you know,

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Speaker 1: five six, And that happened to us. Remember um in

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Speaker 1: the end of my rookie year number rookie. At the

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Speaker 1: end of the year I retired when we had that

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Speaker 1: City card and I was like, Babe, I'm gonna put

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Speaker 1: you on the City card. You can use the card,

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Speaker 1: but when you use the car, we gotta make sure

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Speaker 1: we pay it off. And we were making payments, making payments,

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Speaker 1: but not realizing that those payments were going towards an

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Speaker 1: interest rate that the skyrocketed up to I think it was.

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Speaker 1: And then after a while, you know, I was like, babe,

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Speaker 1: have you been looking at where the payments are going?

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Speaker 1: You're like, not really, And you were making payments for

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Speaker 1: about two years blindly, just think never went down the

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Speaker 1: minimum a little more than a minimum, and then before

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Speaker 1: you know, you're not you're only paying off interest and

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Speaker 1: the principle never went for years, so and it happens

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Speaker 1: to people who are trying to be deliberate. So it's

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00:20:03,640 --> 00:20:06,120
Speaker 1: not like, oh, other people are doing it and we're

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00:20:06,200 --> 00:20:08,200
Speaker 1: perfect at doing this, because we are examples of not

380
00:20:08,400 --> 00:20:12,320
Speaker 1: being perfect at doing this. But to me, getting this

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Speaker 1: property was away number one to have a safe space

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Speaker 1: for my my kids and my wife to have autonomy

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Speaker 1: over their life. You know, we see everything going on

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Speaker 1: out here in the country where kids don't feel comfortable

385
00:20:23,480 --> 00:20:26,320
Speaker 1: walking around their neighborhoods and they don't feel comfortable being

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Speaker 1: able to play ball and do things at the park.

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Speaker 1: Now my my son's having an opportunity to do this

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Speaker 1: in their backyard. You know, they have a basketball court

389
00:20:32,800 --> 00:20:34,680
Speaker 1: in their backyard. Go in the backyard and play. You

390
00:20:34,760 --> 00:20:36,000
Speaker 1: want to go to the pool, Go to the pool

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00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:37,399
Speaker 1: and play. You don't got to go anywhere else and

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00:20:37,480 --> 00:20:40,640
Speaker 1: ask anyone else permission to use theirs. You have your own.

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00:20:41,080 --> 00:20:43,760
Speaker 1: It also gives them a sense of ownership where they

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00:20:43,840 --> 00:20:46,040
Speaker 1: feel like they can do whatever. You know, I have

395
00:20:46,280 --> 00:20:48,760
Speaker 1: my own pool growing up, I have my own basketball court.

396
00:20:49,440 --> 00:20:51,440
Speaker 1: My dad and my mom provided that for me, so

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Speaker 1: I can do whatever I want. Because I watched my

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Speaker 1: mom and my dad, so achieving things, not just doing whatever.

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Speaker 1: Yeah as far as far as but but even but

400
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Speaker 1: even in that, so many black people grow up in

401
00:21:03,600 --> 00:21:06,639
Speaker 1: life feeling like I can't do what I want. You

402
00:21:06,720 --> 00:21:09,159
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying, My blackness is a prison. You know,

403
00:21:09,200 --> 00:21:11,359
Speaker 1: I'm saying, I can't have to do what's necessary to

404
00:21:11,440 --> 00:21:14,639
Speaker 1: make these ends meet, or I literally just can't do

405
00:21:14,720 --> 00:21:17,359
Speaker 1: what I want. If I'm walking in the street and

406
00:21:17,440 --> 00:21:20,040
Speaker 1: the cop decides he wants to, you know, stop me,

407
00:21:20,160 --> 00:21:22,160
Speaker 1: take my you know, and and wrestle me to the ground,

408
00:21:22,200 --> 00:21:24,240
Speaker 1: I could lose my life if I don't answer the

409
00:21:24,359 --> 00:21:26,480
Speaker 1: right way, I could lose my freedom. You know, you

410
00:21:26,680 --> 00:21:28,520
Speaker 1: you spend so much of your life as a black

411
00:21:28,560 --> 00:21:31,000
Speaker 1: person feeling like you can't do what you want. This

412
00:21:31,160 --> 00:21:33,520
Speaker 1: house was a way for me to show my children that, yes,

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00:21:33,600 --> 00:21:35,840
Speaker 1: you can, this is your house, This is what you

414
00:21:35,920 --> 00:21:38,359
Speaker 1: can do, and also empower them to think like that,

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00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:42,040
Speaker 1: because also slavery is a mentality. You know, if you

416
00:21:42,119 --> 00:21:45,280
Speaker 1: constantly walk around thinking like I'm a slave, You're gonna

417
00:21:45,320 --> 00:21:47,480
Speaker 1: exist in this country as a slave. And we have

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00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:50,159
Speaker 1: so much more empowerment in this country now that if

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00:21:50,440 --> 00:21:53,919
Speaker 1: if more black children lived like that, you know how

420
00:21:53,960 --> 00:21:57,280
Speaker 1: I get when I talk about this stuff. Emancipate yourself

421
00:21:57,320 --> 00:22:00,920
Speaker 1: for mental slavery, none but ourselves can free our minds.

422
00:22:00,960 --> 00:22:02,480
Speaker 1: I know you're gonna take it back to Jamaica, you

423
00:22:03,640 --> 00:22:07,040
Speaker 1: shout out by Morley, but but no, you're absolutely right

424
00:22:07,080 --> 00:22:08,920
Speaker 1: in that, and I mean also to I want to

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00:22:08,960 --> 00:22:10,959
Speaker 1: be able to teach our children a sense of pride

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00:22:11,800 --> 00:22:13,800
Speaker 1: in what they have where they live, being able to

427
00:22:13,880 --> 00:22:16,480
Speaker 1: take care of that because it's also too We've spoken

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00:22:16,600 --> 00:22:20,160
Speaker 1: previously about dulling the silver spoon and creating adversity within

429
00:22:20,280 --> 00:22:22,720
Speaker 1: their lives and stuff. You know, we we as parents

430
00:22:22,880 --> 00:22:25,359
Speaker 1: want our children to not have to struggle or not

431
00:22:25,480 --> 00:22:26,920
Speaker 1: have to work as hard as we did, but we

432
00:22:27,040 --> 00:22:29,840
Speaker 1: also to want them to appreciate what they have and

433
00:22:29,960 --> 00:22:32,920
Speaker 1: absolutely providing them and letting them know that we're trying

434
00:22:32,960 --> 00:22:36,560
Speaker 1: to take this um, these certain stresses off of your

435
00:22:36,600 --> 00:22:38,480
Speaker 1: life so that way you can invest time in the

436
00:22:38,560 --> 00:22:40,639
Speaker 1: things that you want to do. You are able to

437
00:22:40,680 --> 00:22:44,080
Speaker 1: do your abilities to really hone in on that you

438
00:22:44,160 --> 00:22:46,520
Speaker 1: know you graduate from from from from high school and

439
00:22:46,520 --> 00:22:48,480
Speaker 1: you decide, you know what, mom, dad, I want to

440
00:22:48,520 --> 00:22:50,480
Speaker 1: take a year to travel and kind of explore to

441
00:22:50,480 --> 00:22:52,200
Speaker 1: figure out what it is I want to do like,

442
00:22:52,400 --> 00:22:54,760
Speaker 1: you can't do that because mom and Dad have a

443
00:22:54,800 --> 00:22:56,560
Speaker 1: space where you can then come back and they just

444
00:22:56,720 --> 00:22:59,040
Speaker 1: know that once you've done that, we're gonna want to

445
00:22:59,080 --> 00:23:00,439
Speaker 1: know what's your game plan, you know what I mean.

446
00:23:00,880 --> 00:23:04,159
Speaker 1: So I think that this was so important for us

447
00:23:04,200 --> 00:23:05,800
Speaker 1: because those are some of the things that we were

448
00:23:05,880 --> 00:23:09,680
Speaker 1: not afforded, although our parents did work so hard to

449
00:23:09,760 --> 00:23:12,680
Speaker 1: provide for us that we were able to, you know,

450
00:23:12,840 --> 00:23:14,480
Speaker 1: do the things that we wanted to and then some.

451
00:23:14,920 --> 00:23:18,080
Speaker 1: But I will say this, our parents gave us a

452
00:23:18,160 --> 00:23:21,200
Speaker 1: better version of the black experience than they were given.

453
00:23:21,600 --> 00:23:24,760
Speaker 1: And I think that's what I guess that's what generational

454
00:23:24,800 --> 00:23:27,439
Speaker 1: wealth is as well. It's not so much about the finances,

455
00:23:27,480 --> 00:23:30,320
Speaker 1: but it's also the information. I talked to your mom

456
00:23:30,920 --> 00:23:32,760
Speaker 1: the other day and she was, you know, telling me

457
00:23:32,800 --> 00:23:35,680
Speaker 1: the story. Shout out to you and Mimi's relationships. Me

458
00:23:35,720 --> 00:23:37,760
Speaker 1: and MEMI have grown a lot over the years, right,

459
00:23:37,840 --> 00:23:40,000
Speaker 1: We've learn a lot over the years. But she talked

460
00:23:40,040 --> 00:23:43,399
Speaker 1: to me about coming from Jamaica and how you know,

461
00:23:43,680 --> 00:23:45,880
Speaker 1: it was hard for some people to have to come here,

462
00:23:46,480 --> 00:23:48,600
Speaker 1: try to get a small piece of land or property

463
00:23:48,680 --> 00:23:50,679
Speaker 1: here in the States, then send for their children. They

464
00:23:50,720 --> 00:23:53,359
Speaker 1: spend years here building, but then in doing that they

465
00:23:53,400 --> 00:23:56,480
Speaker 1: were able to have their children come here not have

466
00:23:56,640 --> 00:23:59,000
Speaker 1: to pay rent when they go to school and come

467
00:23:59,040 --> 00:24:00,800
Speaker 1: back that everything happened within the house and they can

468
00:24:00,840 --> 00:24:03,040
Speaker 1: go out and buy another property. And then that property

469
00:24:03,119 --> 00:24:05,560
Speaker 1: churned into two and three and four properties. And when

470
00:24:05,600 --> 00:24:08,440
Speaker 1: I look at your family, your mom and dad did that. Yeah,

471
00:24:08,480 --> 00:24:11,320
Speaker 1: your your parents owned four houses. Yeah. My parents moved

472
00:24:11,480 --> 00:24:13,760
Speaker 1: up here from the islands drink and say vincent and

473
00:24:14,359 --> 00:24:15,960
Speaker 1: literally came up here with nothing. It was one of

474
00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:18,000
Speaker 1: those things where it's like my grandmother sent my mom,

475
00:24:18,080 --> 00:24:21,320
Speaker 1: who was the oldest girl, sent her away to America.

476
00:24:21,359 --> 00:24:24,280
Speaker 1: It was like, you know, figure it out. The same

477
00:24:24,280 --> 00:24:25,960
Speaker 1: thing kind of happened with my dad as well. He was,

478
00:24:26,200 --> 00:24:27,680
Speaker 1: you know, the oldest boy, and it's just like you

479
00:24:27,800 --> 00:24:30,119
Speaker 1: gotta go figure it out, um. And they did so

480
00:24:30,280 --> 00:24:32,120
Speaker 1: well for themselves to the point where I really think

481
00:24:32,119 --> 00:24:34,560
Speaker 1: about what they were able to pass down to my

482
00:24:34,640 --> 00:24:37,480
Speaker 1: brother and rochister and I coming here with literally nothing.

483
00:24:37,880 --> 00:24:40,480
Speaker 1: I hear the stories my mom tells sometimes about you know,

484
00:24:40,680 --> 00:24:43,120
Speaker 1: just trying to have a space to sleep in someone's home,

485
00:24:43,320 --> 00:24:45,040
Speaker 1: just to be able to go to school and work,

486
00:24:45,160 --> 00:24:48,000
Speaker 1: and you know, having adversity in that being locked out

487
00:24:48,040 --> 00:24:50,480
Speaker 1: of people's homes like you know, and having to sleep

488
00:24:50,520 --> 00:24:53,480
Speaker 1: outside like I really just look at my mom and

489
00:24:53,560 --> 00:24:55,880
Speaker 1: dad with such admiration for the things that they've done

490
00:24:55,920 --> 00:24:57,720
Speaker 1: to ensure that we now have a little bit of

491
00:24:57,800 --> 00:24:59,920
Speaker 1: something that we went to school with no debt. We're

492
00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:01,320
Speaker 1: you know, I was going I was gonna tell you,

493
00:25:01,480 --> 00:25:02,800
Speaker 1: I was gonna tell you not to cut you off.

494
00:25:02,920 --> 00:25:05,600
Speaker 1: But think about what your parents did with property. Right.

495
00:25:05,920 --> 00:25:10,320
Speaker 1: Your father never made more than fifty dollars a year, right,

496
00:25:10,400 --> 00:25:12,320
Speaker 1: but he bought four property. And then the reason why

497
00:25:12,359 --> 00:25:14,439
Speaker 1: I tell the story is because people think that it's

498
00:25:14,480 --> 00:25:18,120
Speaker 1: outside of the realm of their possibility to own property,

499
00:25:18,200 --> 00:25:21,360
Speaker 1: But it's not. Your dad in the eighties never made

500
00:25:21,400 --> 00:25:24,399
Speaker 1: more than k right, but able to buy I think,

501
00:25:24,440 --> 00:25:28,760
Speaker 1: purchased three homes at the time, fifteen year mortgages, mom,

502
00:25:29,600 --> 00:25:32,240
Speaker 1: fifteen year mortgages because your your mom made really good

503
00:25:32,280 --> 00:25:34,600
Speaker 1: money that your mom made six figures during that time,

504
00:25:35,160 --> 00:25:38,119
Speaker 1: um three mortgages though they had at one time, so

505
00:25:38,119 --> 00:25:40,880
Speaker 1: I think with three mortgages fifteen year mortgages, your father

506
00:25:41,040 --> 00:25:44,720
Speaker 1: ended up paying off those mortgages early, right when it

507
00:25:44,840 --> 00:25:47,000
Speaker 1: was time for you to go to school. He sold

508
00:25:47,040 --> 00:25:49,320
Speaker 1: one of the properties to pay off your student loans.

509
00:25:49,920 --> 00:25:51,560
Speaker 1: When the same thing for your brother. But yeah, I

510
00:25:51,600 --> 00:25:53,520
Speaker 1: didn't really have student loans because of scholarship. That the

511
00:25:53,520 --> 00:25:55,440
Speaker 1: scholarships and stuff, but my brother and sister, you know,

512
00:25:55,640 --> 00:25:58,600
Speaker 1: it just gave us flexibility, gave us the ability to say, okay,

513
00:25:58,840 --> 00:26:01,120
Speaker 1: could you graduated school with no debt, Like here's a car,

514
00:26:01,200 --> 00:26:03,520
Speaker 1: because you know, we're able to do little things for

515
00:26:03,600 --> 00:26:05,560
Speaker 1: you to make that make it that much easier for

516
00:26:05,640 --> 00:26:07,840
Speaker 1: you and then chase your dream to do the things

517
00:26:07,880 --> 00:26:10,400
Speaker 1: that you want to do. You know. So I'm forever

518
00:26:10,440 --> 00:26:12,639
Speaker 1: grateful to my parents for from then setting up that

519
00:26:12,720 --> 00:26:15,040
Speaker 1: kind of lifestyle for On top of that, when your

520
00:26:15,080 --> 00:26:18,280
Speaker 1: parents transition, you and your brother and sister have seven

521
00:26:18,359 --> 00:26:21,360
Speaker 1: figures of equity that you can split amongst the three

522
00:26:21,400 --> 00:26:24,800
Speaker 1: of you for your next generation so when it's time

523
00:26:24,840 --> 00:26:27,800
Speaker 1: to and the biggest part is the biggest part is

524
00:26:28,000 --> 00:26:31,560
Speaker 1: when you do have that type of equity, right, most

525
00:26:31,640 --> 00:26:33,600
Speaker 1: people can't get a property because they don't have a

526
00:26:33,680 --> 00:26:36,720
Speaker 1: down payment. You know, growing up in that, you know

527
00:26:36,880 --> 00:26:39,680
Speaker 1: that hamster will, that is life. You spend every day

528
00:26:39,760 --> 00:26:41,440
Speaker 1: trying to pay a bill, pay a bill, pay a

529
00:26:41,480 --> 00:26:43,960
Speaker 1: bill that you can't save any money in order to

530
00:26:44,000 --> 00:26:46,760
Speaker 1: get a down payment to own anything. Yeah, that's once

531
00:26:46,840 --> 00:26:49,720
Speaker 1: your own property, you always have a down payment own

532
00:26:50,320 --> 00:26:53,200
Speaker 1: more property. And I think that's the dopest thing about,

533
00:26:53,320 --> 00:26:56,320
Speaker 1: you know, creating a legacy for your children through property

534
00:26:56,440 --> 00:26:59,720
Speaker 1: and through land. And for me, this is what that

535
00:27:00,119 --> 00:27:02,000
Speaker 1: was and what it is. And when I think back

536
00:27:02,040 --> 00:27:05,280
Speaker 1: now to the closing process for us and what the

537
00:27:05,359 --> 00:27:08,680
Speaker 1: obccles were that we had to face. Even like we said,

538
00:27:08,720 --> 00:27:11,120
Speaker 1: you know, we were able to show our tax documents

539
00:27:11,160 --> 00:27:13,000
Speaker 1: after a while, we were we had the down payment

540
00:27:13,040 --> 00:27:15,879
Speaker 1: for the home, but there were still things that that

541
00:27:16,680 --> 00:27:19,040
Speaker 1: popped up, like they needed to verify this, or they

542
00:27:19,080 --> 00:27:21,120
Speaker 1: needed extra of that, or they need to dig more

543
00:27:21,200 --> 00:27:23,800
Speaker 1: for this, and comb through that and and shout out

544
00:27:23,880 --> 00:27:29,120
Speaker 1: to Sean Freeman, advising my mentor, my big brother from Flatbush,

545
00:27:29,240 --> 00:27:32,720
Speaker 1: who my father mentor, who walked us through this process,

546
00:27:32,760 --> 00:27:34,800
Speaker 1: literally walked us through this process and said that we

547
00:27:34,960 --> 00:27:37,879
Speaker 1: did not have to worry about any anything. Um. And

548
00:27:38,000 --> 00:27:40,199
Speaker 1: Sean jokes that one of these days he's gonna come

549
00:27:40,240 --> 00:27:41,879
Speaker 1: out here and tell us, he's gonna tell us the

550
00:27:41,920 --> 00:27:44,520
Speaker 1: full story about all the hoops, Because there were hoops

551
00:27:44,560 --> 00:27:46,960
Speaker 1: that we were trying did not even know we were

552
00:27:47,040 --> 00:27:50,040
Speaker 1: jumping through. But he worked along with Mark, you know,

553
00:27:50,080 --> 00:27:52,320
Speaker 1: our CPA, to make sure that that everything was handled

554
00:27:52,359 --> 00:27:54,240
Speaker 1: for us. So when we say it was a roller

555
00:27:54,280 --> 00:27:57,480
Speaker 1: coaster server journey, it definitely was. And I think about

556
00:27:57,520 --> 00:27:59,800
Speaker 1: closing day and how Arian made that special for us,

557
00:27:59,840 --> 00:28:02,399
Speaker 1: and at first I didn't understand at first why it

558
00:28:02,520 --> 00:28:04,960
Speaker 1: was such a celebratory thing. You know. She was like,

559
00:28:05,000 --> 00:28:06,680
Speaker 1: I'm pulling out all the stops, you guys are closing

560
00:28:06,720 --> 00:28:08,800
Speaker 1: on your home, and I'm just like, this is something

561
00:28:08,880 --> 00:28:12,640
Speaker 1: to celebrate the fact that we're able to do that, um,

562
00:28:13,000 --> 00:28:15,080
Speaker 1: you know, and just just be able to create this,

563
00:28:15,280 --> 00:28:18,520
Speaker 1: this this life for our children. It just means that

564
00:28:18,800 --> 00:28:23,080
Speaker 1: much more, you know. So so to kind of give

565
00:28:23,119 --> 00:28:25,200
Speaker 1: you guys, just kind of like a one too on

566
00:28:25,560 --> 00:28:28,240
Speaker 1: advice things that you should know when you are have

567
00:28:28,440 --> 00:28:31,320
Speaker 1: something closing on a home. Just in general. I know

568
00:28:31,440 --> 00:28:33,800
Speaker 1: that different people are gonna have different obstacles, but we

569
00:28:33,840 --> 00:28:35,600
Speaker 1: can highlight maybe a couple of things that are going

570
00:28:35,680 --> 00:28:37,600
Speaker 1: to be helpful tips for people who are maybe in

571
00:28:37,720 --> 00:28:39,640
Speaker 1: the process are looking to do that soon. I do

572
00:28:39,760 --> 00:28:44,080
Speaker 1: have a major tip for entrepreneurs because not only us,

573
00:28:44,200 --> 00:28:46,320
Speaker 1: but I have buddies who are trying to close on

574
00:28:46,400 --> 00:28:50,600
Speaker 1: properties and running through running to the same um hurdle. Right,

575
00:28:50,640 --> 00:28:55,240
Speaker 1: because this class of black entrepreneurship is the largest that

576
00:28:55,320 --> 00:28:57,840
Speaker 1: has ever been in this country. But with that becomes

577
00:28:57,840 --> 00:29:00,920
Speaker 1: a lot of different obstacles. So, for example, underwriter's love

578
00:29:01,480 --> 00:29:04,000
Speaker 1: W two's right, which means they want to see a

579
00:29:04,040 --> 00:29:07,280
Speaker 1: consistent stream of income over a certain amount of time.

580
00:29:07,760 --> 00:29:10,560
Speaker 1: And what we ran into even though Kadin and I

581
00:29:11,440 --> 00:29:14,400
Speaker 1: you know, humble brag, but we made seven figures last year,

582
00:29:15,080 --> 00:29:18,360
Speaker 1: made that money on paper. They wanted to see a

583
00:29:18,480 --> 00:29:22,040
Speaker 1: consistent stream of income over a year, even though we

584
00:29:22,160 --> 00:29:24,240
Speaker 1: had the money in the in the bank. And I

585
00:29:24,280 --> 00:29:27,600
Speaker 1: didn't understand why, and Sean told us it was because

586
00:29:28,080 --> 00:29:30,080
Speaker 1: they want to see a consistent amount of money because

587
00:29:30,240 --> 00:29:35,120
Speaker 1: underwriters believe the money may stop and think that you

588
00:29:35,160 --> 00:29:37,080
Speaker 1: had a good year. Right. But here's the way you

589
00:29:37,160 --> 00:29:40,000
Speaker 1: get around that. If you own a business, right, what

590
00:29:40,200 --> 00:29:42,920
Speaker 1: you do is you set up your corporation as an

591
00:29:43,080 --> 00:29:46,200
Speaker 1: escorp or an LLC, and you write yourself a salary

592
00:29:46,880 --> 00:29:49,560
Speaker 1: which shows a consistent stream of paychecks. You know, I'm saying,

593
00:29:49,600 --> 00:29:52,080
Speaker 1: we we have a partnership with paychecks where we write

594
00:29:52,080 --> 00:29:54,960
Speaker 1: ourselves a salary now every single month, so that they

595
00:29:55,000 --> 00:29:57,640
Speaker 1: can see a consistent W two so that when it

596
00:29:57,680 --> 00:30:00,040
Speaker 1: comes time for us to purchase our next property, we

597
00:30:00,040 --> 00:30:01,840
Speaker 1: don't have to run through the same thing. What I

598
00:30:01,960 --> 00:30:03,800
Speaker 1: was doing, and this is important. What I was doing

599
00:30:03,880 --> 00:30:07,840
Speaker 1: was writing us dividends. So every three months or every quarter,

600
00:30:08,000 --> 00:30:09,760
Speaker 1: I would write code and I have a fat check

601
00:30:09,840 --> 00:30:12,400
Speaker 1: so that we can put in our savings account to

602
00:30:12,480 --> 00:30:14,680
Speaker 1: show that we were making money. But they don't want

603
00:30:14,720 --> 00:30:16,880
Speaker 1: to see dividends. They want to see a W two.

604
00:30:16,960 --> 00:30:18,360
Speaker 1: And it's important for people to know. You have to

605
00:30:18,400 --> 00:30:21,120
Speaker 1: show W two's. You have to have a high credit score,

606
00:30:21,200 --> 00:30:23,560
Speaker 1: which is in the mid seventies or higher, because if

607
00:30:23,600 --> 00:30:26,240
Speaker 1: it's seven mid seven hundreds are higher. Because if it's

608
00:30:26,240 --> 00:30:28,680
Speaker 1: anywhere below that, then they started to get nervous. Tell

609
00:30:28,680 --> 00:30:30,480
Speaker 1: you I was skating, all right, I was. I was.

610
00:30:30,800 --> 00:30:35,280
Speaker 1: I was teetering. I was teetering, all right, only because

611
00:30:35,320 --> 00:30:38,320
Speaker 1: they that credit score thing for me as a joke. Yes,

612
00:30:38,560 --> 00:30:39,960
Speaker 1: But at the same time, I was like, all right,

613
00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:41,760
Speaker 1: this is the game I want to play. Watch I

614
00:30:42,000 --> 00:30:44,360
Speaker 1: had to maneuver some things, but your girl made it

615
00:30:44,400 --> 00:30:46,720
Speaker 1: by a couple of points. And make sure you have

616
00:30:47,000 --> 00:30:50,040
Speaker 1: a down payment that is not going to affect your mortgage.

617
00:30:50,440 --> 00:30:52,520
Speaker 1: So for example, so many people say, hey, I'm looking

618
00:30:52,560 --> 00:30:54,120
Speaker 1: to get into a program, I only have to put

619
00:30:54,160 --> 00:30:57,320
Speaker 1: down five which is fine, you can get into a program.

620
00:30:57,600 --> 00:30:59,080
Speaker 1: But when you look at the interest rate and how

621
00:30:59,160 --> 00:31:00,840
Speaker 1: low the interest rate is now. I think the interest

622
00:31:00,920 --> 00:31:02,920
Speaker 1: rate right now is the lowest has ever been in history,

623
00:31:03,000 --> 00:31:05,440
Speaker 1: is below one percent. But if you don't put down that,

624
00:31:06,280 --> 00:31:08,720
Speaker 1: that interest rate can bubble up to four or five percent.

625
00:31:09,200 --> 00:31:11,200
Speaker 1: And what people don't realize is that they're gonna get

626
00:31:11,240 --> 00:31:14,640
Speaker 1: their money either way. So either you're gonna put the

627
00:31:14,720 --> 00:31:16,479
Speaker 1: money up front and have a low interest rate over

628
00:31:16,600 --> 00:31:20,400
Speaker 1: thirty years, or you're gonna put down a low deposit

629
00:31:20,880 --> 00:31:22,840
Speaker 1: and have a high interest rate over thirty years, which

630
00:31:22,840 --> 00:31:24,920
Speaker 1: is gonna cost you more money in the long term.

631
00:31:25,400 --> 00:31:27,440
Speaker 1: So when you're deciding that you want to buy a home,

632
00:31:27,800 --> 00:31:31,800
Speaker 1: remember is the standard. That's what most banks are looking

633
00:31:31,880 --> 00:31:34,960
Speaker 1: for underwriters. So people, if you're looking at a million

634
00:31:35,000 --> 00:31:37,600
Speaker 1: dollar home and you're looking at two hundred dollars, you

635
00:31:37,600 --> 00:31:39,479
Speaker 1: know you're looking at a five hundred homes looking at

636
00:31:39,480 --> 00:31:42,880
Speaker 1: a hundred thousand dollars. So and that is not you know,

637
00:31:42,960 --> 00:31:45,440
Speaker 1: a small amount of money for people right now, especially

638
00:31:45,480 --> 00:31:47,960
Speaker 1: during the recession and during the pandemic, So you have

639
00:31:48,000 --> 00:31:50,080
Speaker 1: to think about how much of the money you want

640
00:31:50,120 --> 00:31:53,280
Speaker 1: to save. And also they want to see bank statements

641
00:31:53,720 --> 00:31:57,080
Speaker 1: even after you put down the deposit, so it's like

642
00:31:57,280 --> 00:31:59,520
Speaker 1: you put down the five K or you put down

643
00:31:59,600 --> 00:32:02,200
Speaker 1: the two d they want to see that you still

644
00:32:02,320 --> 00:32:06,360
Speaker 1: have money in the bank to sustain that mortgage, not reside.

645
00:32:07,880 --> 00:32:12,080
Speaker 1: And and also they're going to ask for all of

646
00:32:12,160 --> 00:32:15,960
Speaker 1: these things. Two months out, you're gonna provide it, a

647
00:32:16,080 --> 00:32:18,840
Speaker 1: month out, they're gonna ask for it again, and then

648
00:32:18,880 --> 00:32:21,840
Speaker 1: a week before they're gonna ask for it again. So

649
00:32:22,040 --> 00:32:24,000
Speaker 1: make sure that if you borrow any of that money,

650
00:32:24,040 --> 00:32:26,720
Speaker 1: that's an account, absolutely, and it's important for people. It's

651
00:32:26,720 --> 00:32:29,040
Speaker 1: important for people to know that because remember I sold

652
00:32:29,120 --> 00:32:31,440
Speaker 1: two houses and we ran into this with the other

653
00:32:31,480 --> 00:32:34,160
Speaker 1: people I sold the house, they I guess they borrowed money.

654
00:32:34,440 --> 00:32:36,440
Speaker 1: They put money in their account, they showed it, they

655
00:32:36,520 --> 00:32:38,520
Speaker 1: had it, they got a pre approval letter, they asked

656
00:32:38,560 --> 00:32:39,960
Speaker 1: for it again to show it, and they couldn't show

657
00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:42,840
Speaker 1: the money in the account, and we couldn't close. So

658
00:32:43,000 --> 00:32:44,760
Speaker 1: these are things that people need to understand when it

659
00:32:44,800 --> 00:32:46,880
Speaker 1: comes time to close on the home. You have to

660
00:32:46,920 --> 00:32:50,080
Speaker 1: be able to show these documents and be prepared up

661
00:32:50,160 --> 00:32:52,440
Speaker 1: until the day you signed that paper, because once you

662
00:32:52,560 --> 00:32:55,520
Speaker 1: sign that paper, you good. But if you haven't signed

663
00:32:55,560 --> 00:32:58,080
Speaker 1: it yet, they can pull it at any point so

664
00:32:58,520 --> 00:33:00,160
Speaker 1: that you knew all these other things. Because let me

665
00:33:00,160 --> 00:33:01,960
Speaker 1: tell your Deval tried to shelter me from some of

666
00:33:02,040 --> 00:33:06,320
Speaker 1: these stresses. He was stressed. Sean. I was just like, guys,

667
00:33:06,560 --> 00:33:08,840
Speaker 1: I just can't. I'm gonna sit over here while y'all

668
00:33:08,960 --> 00:33:11,160
Speaker 1: just let me know herd go. Well, we we're a team,

669
00:33:11,280 --> 00:33:14,160
Speaker 1: right for sure. I shelter you from that. You shelter

670
00:33:14,320 --> 00:33:17,240
Speaker 1: me from the moving process. Two times we moved across

671
00:33:17,320 --> 00:33:19,960
Speaker 1: country and I wasn't there. Made the right looking. You

672
00:33:20,000 --> 00:33:23,280
Speaker 1: don't disrespect me, but make sure not the left not

673
00:33:23,400 --> 00:33:25,680
Speaker 1: hit you with the right. Baby, you're the budget need stow.

674
00:33:25,920 --> 00:33:29,120
Speaker 1: Did y'all hear all that shout out to Tiffany. I'm

675
00:33:29,240 --> 00:33:31,840
Speaker 1: nowhere there as good as Tiffany. Tiffany is the bomb.

676
00:33:31,840 --> 00:33:33,800
Speaker 1: We're gonna have you back on Tiffany. Tiffany is gonna

677
00:33:33,800 --> 00:33:35,240
Speaker 1: be here every season. She's like a stake, but she's

678
00:33:35,240 --> 00:33:38,160
Speaker 1: like a residence. Yes, every every episode. She has to

679
00:33:38,200 --> 00:33:40,840
Speaker 1: come on every season, just to talk to us about

680
00:33:40,880 --> 00:33:43,440
Speaker 1: finances and shout out to our team because we bought

681
00:33:43,480 --> 00:33:47,080
Speaker 1: our home from a black family. Their realtor was a

682
00:33:47,160 --> 00:33:50,840
Speaker 1: black woman, the attorney was a black woman, was a

683
00:33:50,880 --> 00:33:54,640
Speaker 1: black man. Our attorney was a black man. If everything

684
00:33:54,880 --> 00:33:58,120
Speaker 1: was black, realtor was a black woman, a fully black production.

685
00:33:58,160 --> 00:34:03,840
Speaker 1: It was black black, big black man, black black excellence

686
00:34:03,920 --> 00:34:07,000
Speaker 1: at its finest. All right, now we won't take a

687
00:34:07,080 --> 00:34:09,000
Speaker 1: quick break. That was a lot. That was a lot,

688
00:34:09,120 --> 00:34:11,760
Speaker 1: but um, I hope I'll got some quick tips and tricks.

689
00:34:12,280 --> 00:34:14,400
Speaker 1: We're gonna move into pastor letters after this break. We're

690
00:34:14,400 --> 00:34:29,359
Speaker 1: gonna get into some ads. All right, thank you all

691
00:34:29,440 --> 00:34:34,120
Speaker 1: for coming back. It's time for some listener letters. And

692
00:34:34,680 --> 00:34:37,319
Speaker 1: these are quite lengthy. I love that I had acts

693
00:34:37,360 --> 00:34:39,279
Speaker 1: in previous season for y'all to give us context, and

694
00:34:39,320 --> 00:34:42,279
Speaker 1: now y'all giving us all. I like. It's good though,

695
00:34:42,320 --> 00:34:44,719
Speaker 1: so we can at least give our opinions. Okay, So

696
00:34:44,880 --> 00:34:47,600
Speaker 1: number one, you guys are such an inspiration. I'd like

697
00:34:47,680 --> 00:34:49,759
Speaker 1: to say thank you for extending yourselves the way that

698
00:34:49,880 --> 00:34:54,040
Speaker 1: you do. Thanks Sis, I say sis because she goes

699
00:34:54,080 --> 00:34:56,400
Speaker 1: on to say, my husband and I have been together

700
00:34:56,440 --> 00:34:58,960
Speaker 1: going on nine years and now married for almost six months.

701
00:34:59,040 --> 00:35:02,360
Speaker 1: We're both young, me being twenty five and him twenty seven,

702
00:35:03,120 --> 00:35:06,759
Speaker 1: drive trucks together, no children, no crazy overhead. Within the

703
00:35:06,840 --> 00:35:08,920
Speaker 1: last year, we've paid off a car and gotten our

704
00:35:08,960 --> 00:35:12,960
Speaker 1: first rental property. How did do you stay focused on

705
00:35:13,040 --> 00:35:15,080
Speaker 1: your goals? Do you guys have any tips on how

706
00:35:15,120 --> 00:35:17,840
Speaker 1: to be present and proud of your current accomplishments without

707
00:35:17,880 --> 00:35:20,360
Speaker 1: feeling as if they aren't enough because you feel the

708
00:35:20,440 --> 00:35:23,640
Speaker 1: finish line is still far out. He's going to say

709
00:35:23,719 --> 00:35:26,000
Speaker 1: something and then you start reading this. I was like, so,

710
00:35:26,040 --> 00:35:28,440
Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell you to celebrate to the small things, Okay,

711
00:35:28,480 --> 00:35:31,200
Speaker 1: big and small. It sometimes becomes a challenge for us

712
00:35:31,320 --> 00:35:33,960
Speaker 1: because we don't have regular nine to five jobs and

713
00:35:34,000 --> 00:35:37,520
Speaker 1: aren't around family often, all while our pears are living

714
00:35:37,560 --> 00:35:40,920
Speaker 1: their best lives and we are considered boring because we

715
00:35:41,040 --> 00:35:43,160
Speaker 1: just love to be around one another and enjoy things

716
00:35:43,239 --> 00:35:48,439
Speaker 1: such as writing, looking at one million dollar plus homes, cars, land,

717
00:35:48,520 --> 00:35:53,839
Speaker 1: et cetera. I mean that sounds like the same ship

718
00:35:53,960 --> 00:35:57,120
Speaker 1: I but that's just pure enjoyment for us because that's

719
00:35:57,239 --> 00:35:59,359
Speaker 1: where we aspire to be and what we want out

720
00:35:59,400 --> 00:36:02,960
Speaker 1: of life. Also, how do you find good mentors as yourselves?

721
00:36:03,640 --> 00:36:06,759
Speaker 1: We didn't come from a financial literacy background or well

722
00:36:06,840 --> 00:36:10,960
Speaker 1: off families. So us with us just by passing milestones

723
00:36:11,440 --> 00:36:16,040
Speaker 1: that either our parents have met neither our parents have met. Um,

724
00:36:16,200 --> 00:36:21,200
Speaker 1: we're working hard on ourselves and our overachievers. Though they're supportive,

725
00:36:21,280 --> 00:36:24,560
Speaker 1: we both feel like they will. I'm sorry, I'm having

726
00:36:24,600 --> 00:36:27,000
Speaker 1: a hard time to day. No. No. Though they are supportive,

727
00:36:27,040 --> 00:36:28,600
Speaker 1: we both feel as if they will allow us to

728
00:36:28,640 --> 00:36:32,640
Speaker 1: cut corners. Okay, got Youah, that was a long and

729
00:36:32,719 --> 00:36:37,520
Speaker 1: Jones calling me hi, Okay. So, Sis, if you and

730
00:36:37,640 --> 00:36:43,240
Speaker 1: your bay find joy in aspiring for things, dreaming about things,

731
00:36:43,760 --> 00:36:48,400
Speaker 1: thinking about, almost obsessing over where you see yourself, you

732
00:36:48,480 --> 00:36:53,080
Speaker 1: were not alone because literally that was devalized and we

733
00:36:53,200 --> 00:36:55,920
Speaker 1: still do it, still do it to this day. But

734
00:36:56,120 --> 00:36:58,160
Speaker 1: I will say, of the two of us, I'm the

735
00:36:58,200 --> 00:37:02,000
Speaker 1: one that's always celebrating the moments that are happening as

736
00:37:02,040 --> 00:37:04,680
Speaker 1: they're happening. Devourable book a role on the show, and

737
00:37:04,800 --> 00:37:07,200
Speaker 1: while that show is airing, be thinking about the role

738
00:37:07,280 --> 00:37:09,520
Speaker 1: he does not have or the role he wants. And

739
00:37:09,640 --> 00:37:11,239
Speaker 1: that's just how you are. And I think that's that

740
00:37:11,360 --> 00:37:13,480
Speaker 1: continues to be your motivation and continues to be your

741
00:37:13,560 --> 00:37:16,759
Speaker 1: driving force. Whereas I tend to be the balance that says, bababe,

742
00:37:17,520 --> 00:37:20,719
Speaker 1: you know, I just want to have you celebrate this

743
00:37:20,800 --> 00:37:23,040
Speaker 1: moment because we are doing well where we are right now,

744
00:37:23,600 --> 00:37:25,200
Speaker 1: you know, but never losing side of the fact that

745
00:37:25,280 --> 00:37:27,200
Speaker 1: we want those things that. I mean, if your friends

746
00:37:27,200 --> 00:37:31,399
Speaker 1: are not into that as a hobby as the past time,

747
00:37:31,760 --> 00:37:34,319
Speaker 1: that's okay to let them be happy doing that. Y'

748
00:37:34,320 --> 00:37:36,200
Speaker 1: all can be happy over here because that Val and

749
00:37:36,280 --> 00:37:38,279
Speaker 1: I for a long time, and when people did not

750
00:37:38,440 --> 00:37:40,640
Speaker 1: have the foresight to see the things that we saw

751
00:37:41,560 --> 00:37:44,200
Speaker 1: when it came to even just creating content or doing

752
00:37:44,200 --> 00:37:46,759
Speaker 1: the things that we wanted to do with our careers professionally,

753
00:37:47,600 --> 00:37:49,560
Speaker 1: that did not deter us. So we did have moments

754
00:37:49,600 --> 00:37:51,240
Speaker 1: where were kind of felt like, damn, are we crazy

755
00:37:51,280 --> 00:37:54,600
Speaker 1: for doing this? Because everyone's saying that we're crazy, everyone's

756
00:37:54,600 --> 00:37:56,480
Speaker 1: saying that we're doing too much, everyone's saying that we're

757
00:37:56,480 --> 00:37:59,360
Speaker 1: sharing too much. But we found joy in that, we

758
00:37:59,440 --> 00:38:04,040
Speaker 1: found join being our purpose, and here we are. All

759
00:38:04,080 --> 00:38:06,680
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say to you, man, is that there is

760
00:38:06,719 --> 00:38:10,440
Speaker 1: a delusional quality that all successful people have. I say

761
00:38:10,520 --> 00:38:12,560
Speaker 1: that all the time, and I believe it. In order

762
00:38:12,640 --> 00:38:16,160
Speaker 1: to see yourself, in order to believe that you can

763
00:38:16,200 --> 00:38:18,680
Speaker 1: do something, you have to see it first. If you

764
00:38:18,880 --> 00:38:21,360
Speaker 1: see it for yourself and no one else sees it,

765
00:38:21,520 --> 00:38:23,799
Speaker 1: that don't mean that it's not possible. That just means

766
00:38:23,840 --> 00:38:25,719
Speaker 1: that they haven't seen it yet and they won't see

767
00:38:25,760 --> 00:38:29,600
Speaker 1: it until you do it. So continue to manifest things

768
00:38:29,960 --> 00:38:32,800
Speaker 1: and look at those million dollar homes and and and

769
00:38:33,040 --> 00:38:35,520
Speaker 1: buy bigger and buy better because that's what you want

770
00:38:35,560 --> 00:38:37,520
Speaker 1: to do. All I ask that you remember to pay

771
00:38:37,520 --> 00:38:40,840
Speaker 1: it forward because, like we talked about in an earlier episode,

772
00:38:41,200 --> 00:38:43,640
Speaker 1: you have a duty to serve as a human. So

773
00:38:43,760 --> 00:38:46,360
Speaker 1: as long as you continue to gain access to different

774
00:38:46,440 --> 00:38:49,480
Speaker 1: things and and get more resources, you have an obligation

775
00:38:49,840 --> 00:38:51,560
Speaker 1: to continue to pay it forward. So as long as

776
00:38:51,600 --> 00:38:53,640
Speaker 1: you pay it forward and you continue to grow and

777
00:38:53,719 --> 00:38:55,879
Speaker 1: grow and grow, you'll be fine. And and we talked

778
00:38:55,920 --> 00:38:59,800
Speaker 1: about on another podcast. Um, what you just choose to do.

779
00:39:00,080 --> 00:39:02,920
Speaker 1: Find fun with your spouse is your prerogative. You know,

780
00:39:03,040 --> 00:39:05,000
Speaker 1: trying to serve too many guys and serve too many

781
00:39:05,080 --> 00:39:07,279
Speaker 1: other people is going to be an issue for your relationship.

782
00:39:07,560 --> 00:39:10,800
Speaker 1: If you and your husband enjoy looking at how houses

783
00:39:10,920 --> 00:39:14,360
Speaker 1: and riding together, then do that because that's your life partner.

784
00:39:14,440 --> 00:39:16,520
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying you can include those who

785
00:39:16,640 --> 00:39:19,480
Speaker 1: want to do that. But um, keep doing it, keep

786
00:39:19,520 --> 00:39:23,040
Speaker 1: being great, keep being happy, keep buying off, buying properties

787
00:39:23,040 --> 00:39:26,399
Speaker 1: and paying off cars or buying Amazon packages. I see

788
00:39:26,440 --> 00:39:28,320
Speaker 1: the ups were in the livingroom right now, y'all, and

789
00:39:28,360 --> 00:39:31,120
Speaker 1: I see that the ups this ups should be sweating

790
00:39:31,200 --> 00:39:33,120
Speaker 1: coming here. He looked at me and my eyes. Sometimes

791
00:39:33,160 --> 00:39:38,480
Speaker 1: he's just be like, that's ups FedEx usps a lot

792
00:39:38,560 --> 00:39:43,160
Speaker 1: of them, man, All right now, I love that. Keep

793
00:39:43,320 --> 00:39:45,320
Speaker 1: keep on, keeping on, y'all, Keeping on y'all, y'all do

794
00:39:45,360 --> 00:39:47,799
Speaker 1: what you gotta do. All right. Let me start off.

795
00:39:47,840 --> 00:39:49,600
Speaker 1: I say that I'm a big fan of the podcast,

796
00:39:49,640 --> 00:39:51,879
Speaker 1: and I've been listening since the beginning. I'm a huge fan.

797
00:39:52,400 --> 00:39:54,239
Speaker 1: Thank you so much. I'm twenty five years old and

798
00:39:54,280 --> 00:39:57,360
Speaker 1: my fiance is seven, and we just got engaged. We

799
00:39:57,440 --> 00:39:59,680
Speaker 1: met each other in college and been together for six years.

800
00:39:59,760 --> 00:40:01,560
Speaker 1: The use it for my email is that I'm seeking

801
00:40:01,560 --> 00:40:03,920
Speaker 1: advice on what to do next. The big question for

802
00:40:04,080 --> 00:40:06,879
Speaker 1: us is whether to have a wedding or buy a house.

803
00:40:07,680 --> 00:40:10,560
Speaker 1: We've been there, little man. We are currently living in

804
00:40:10,640 --> 00:40:13,240
Speaker 1: a one bedroom apartment. My fiance has expressed it although

805
00:40:13,320 --> 00:40:15,440
Speaker 1: we would love to have a wedding. We would like

806
00:40:15,880 --> 00:40:18,279
Speaker 1: to move or he would like to move into a

807
00:40:18,400 --> 00:40:19,880
Speaker 1: house in the next two days. I don't even got

808
00:40:19,920 --> 00:40:21,320
Speaker 1: to read the rest I don't gotta read the restors.

809
00:40:21,360 --> 00:40:25,040
Speaker 1: Let me tell you something. Tell okay, well, let me

810
00:40:25,120 --> 00:40:30,239
Speaker 1: skim the rest of it, the rest of Codeine said

811
00:40:30,320 --> 00:40:33,400
Speaker 1: to me in two thousand and ten that she wanted

812
00:40:33,440 --> 00:40:35,800
Speaker 1: to have the big wedding because she felt like she

813
00:40:35,920 --> 00:40:38,279
Speaker 1: was going to get both. She felt like that. She

814
00:40:38,360 --> 00:40:40,600
Speaker 1: felt like, I get the big wedding, I'll get the house.

815
00:40:40,880 --> 00:40:43,480
Speaker 1: And she was right. Eventually she got the house and

816
00:40:43,600 --> 00:40:46,640
Speaker 1: she had the wedding. But this is the thing. We

817
00:40:46,800 --> 00:40:49,719
Speaker 1: got the wedding, and right after the wedding was done,

818
00:40:50,440 --> 00:40:53,759
Speaker 1: she ain't care about the wedding. We don't. We don't

819
00:40:53,800 --> 00:40:56,840
Speaker 1: ever watch the wedding videos. We barely look at the

820
00:40:56,880 --> 00:41:00,640
Speaker 1: wedding pictures. We had had three hundred twenty people that

821
00:41:00,680 --> 00:41:03,759
Speaker 1: a wedding. More or less. We have three people that

822
00:41:03,800 --> 00:41:06,839
Speaker 1: our wedding. We don't talk to none of them. That's

823
00:41:07,320 --> 00:41:10,919
Speaker 1: okay to a small person. We like listen, the whole web,

824
00:41:11,000 --> 00:41:13,120
Speaker 1: the whole big wedding thing, the whole platinum wedding thing

825
00:41:13,239 --> 00:41:16,600
Speaker 1: is played out. It's played out unless but that's in

826
00:41:16,719 --> 00:41:20,360
Speaker 1: retrospect after I've had that. Unless you can't afford it,

827
00:41:20,440 --> 00:41:22,120
Speaker 1: and you can do it within the means, and you

828
00:41:22,200 --> 00:41:25,480
Speaker 1: can enjoy yourself within the means. Do not extend yourself

829
00:41:26,160 --> 00:41:28,879
Speaker 1: and choose not to buy your house because you want

830
00:41:28,920 --> 00:41:30,680
Speaker 1: to have a wedding. I don't need to read the

831
00:41:30,719 --> 00:41:33,840
Speaker 1: rest of this to tell you, bro, ma'am, do not

832
00:41:34,200 --> 00:41:36,640
Speaker 1: do it. Son. We spent ten years in an apartment.

833
00:41:37,280 --> 00:41:41,120
Speaker 1: We're like, ma'am, man, man, I know a crackhead when

834
00:41:41,160 --> 00:41:43,360
Speaker 1: I see one man, you as a crackhead. When you

835
00:41:43,400 --> 00:41:45,839
Speaker 1: pay for that wedding, man, you a crackhead. Now, now

836
00:41:45,920 --> 00:41:47,840
Speaker 1: you manage your husband, ma'am, because he can't get you

837
00:41:47,920 --> 00:41:49,320
Speaker 1: the house man because you wanted the wedd and you

838
00:41:49,360 --> 00:41:51,560
Speaker 1: don't have to deal with that man. That's what judge,

839
00:41:51,560 --> 00:41:53,600
Speaker 1: That's what Judge Brown would tell you. We're not calling

840
00:41:53,640 --> 00:41:55,799
Speaker 1: your crackhead. We're just making fun of Judge Joe Brown.

841
00:41:55,880 --> 00:42:01,160
Speaker 1: But we know Judge mathis like no, but seriously, like

842
00:42:02,160 --> 00:42:04,960
Speaker 1: we get so caught up in doing things for the ground.

843
00:42:05,000 --> 00:42:06,640
Speaker 1: Well she said when she said, am I holding onto

844
00:42:06,719 --> 00:42:08,920
Speaker 1: that to the little girl for wanting this dream wedding

845
00:42:09,160 --> 00:42:13,239
Speaker 1: and should be consider being financially responsible. Being financially responsible,

846
00:42:13,280 --> 00:42:16,160
Speaker 1: don't she said, they won't be able to get married three.

847
00:42:16,360 --> 00:42:17,799
Speaker 1: That's the case. So it's like, are you gonna delay

848
00:42:17,880 --> 00:42:20,080
Speaker 1: being married because you have to wait two years for

849
00:42:20,160 --> 00:42:22,440
Speaker 1: the wedding. Well, here's the thing. Here's the thing though,

850
00:42:23,520 --> 00:42:26,680
Speaker 1: the financial responsibility, it's a time. Dates, all that stuff

851
00:42:26,719 --> 00:42:28,800
Speaker 1: don't matter, Like it really don't matter. You have to

852
00:42:28,880 --> 00:42:32,680
Speaker 1: make decisions with foresight. Some people rush to get married

853
00:42:32,719 --> 00:42:35,200
Speaker 1: because the date is perfect. I got married in seven

854
00:42:35,239 --> 00:42:37,799
Speaker 1: eight nine ten, Like what the funk? Like now you're

855
00:42:37,840 --> 00:42:40,399
Speaker 1: divorced in seven eight nine eleven? Like nobody give a ship?

856
00:42:41,120 --> 00:42:43,359
Speaker 1: Like that's what like? People need to have start having

857
00:42:43,480 --> 00:42:46,520
Speaker 1: foresight and stop thinking surface level. You know what I'm saying.

858
00:42:46,520 --> 00:42:48,400
Speaker 1: And when I say people, I mean us too. But

859
00:42:49,040 --> 00:42:51,439
Speaker 1: I did that this one though. Right, So we weren't

860
00:42:51,440 --> 00:42:56,600
Speaker 1: able to have our vironnal in July four, But if

861
00:42:56,640 --> 00:42:58,600
Speaker 1: we have a viurnal, we have been able to get

862
00:42:58,640 --> 00:43:01,880
Speaker 1: this house. No, we wouldn't have. No, we wouldn't have.

863
00:43:02,440 --> 00:43:05,000
Speaker 1: It depends if I could have turned it into a business.

864
00:43:05,880 --> 00:43:08,720
Speaker 1: But realistically, what you're trying to a business? But Coadean

865
00:43:08,800 --> 00:43:11,600
Speaker 1: spends money like it's a business. So we probably wouldn't

866
00:43:11,600 --> 00:43:13,160
Speaker 1: have had the down payment for this house. And now

867
00:43:13,280 --> 00:43:15,440
Speaker 1: look at I'm just saying. I'm just saying, but we

868
00:43:15,560 --> 00:43:17,319
Speaker 1: have the house and I will have my bronal at

869
00:43:17,400 --> 00:43:23,320
Speaker 1: some point next year. Financial responsibility requires foresight. Use it.

870
00:43:23,640 --> 00:43:25,600
Speaker 1: Trust me, you will feel better in the long run

871
00:43:25,640 --> 00:43:28,560
Speaker 1: when you have years of happiness and stress free living

872
00:43:28,960 --> 00:43:32,200
Speaker 1: as opposed to twenty four hours of the biggest party

873
00:43:32,280 --> 00:43:37,160
Speaker 1: of your life. I tell you that was like literally

874
00:43:37,239 --> 00:43:42,160
Speaker 1: us seven. Since I have to say, as a big sis,

875
00:43:42,280 --> 00:43:44,840
Speaker 1: what I would advise my sister to do is to

876
00:43:45,280 --> 00:43:49,400
Speaker 1: get that stability financially. Yes, you can always have a party.

877
00:43:49,920 --> 00:43:52,759
Speaker 1: Yes you have a party. Yeah we did. We were

878
00:43:52,760 --> 00:43:57,720
Speaker 1: going to do ten COVID. You can't do nothing with COVID.

879
00:43:57,760 --> 00:43:59,920
Speaker 1: You're gonna be massed up. You're gonna look at these pictures.

880
00:44:00,160 --> 00:44:01,719
Speaker 1: They're gonna go back in time, look at these pittus.

881
00:44:01,719 --> 00:44:04,960
Speaker 1: Everybody's gonna be like this. You're gonna be like, why

882
00:44:05,000 --> 00:44:08,640
Speaker 1: do we rush to have this big as party? I

883
00:44:08,680 --> 00:44:11,000
Speaker 1: gotta ask, Josh, what's that? What's that been like? Josh? Like,

884
00:44:11,280 --> 00:44:15,680
Speaker 1: you know, filming weddings, capturing weddings, get a crib, build

885
00:44:15,760 --> 00:44:18,480
Speaker 1: some some equity, so that you can live the rest

886
00:44:18,520 --> 00:44:20,360
Speaker 1: of your life the way you want to, as opposed

887
00:44:20,400 --> 00:44:21,920
Speaker 1: to living the rest of your life the way you

888
00:44:22,040 --> 00:44:25,960
Speaker 1: have to because you spent money on a stupid ass party. Period.

889
00:44:25,960 --> 00:44:27,920
Speaker 1: It's not like you have some resentment built up with you.

890
00:44:28,000 --> 00:44:30,200
Speaker 1: But anyway, that's no. We worked, we worked our way

891
00:44:30,239 --> 00:44:31,640
Speaker 1: out of it. We worked our way out of it.

892
00:44:31,719 --> 00:44:34,120
Speaker 1: But I'm still a little like I got a little PTSD,

893
00:44:34,320 --> 00:44:38,560
Speaker 1: Like we could have owned a Brownstone. We could own

894
00:44:38,600 --> 00:44:42,880
Speaker 1: the Brownstone in Brooklyn right now. I could have had

895
00:44:42,960 --> 00:44:45,600
Speaker 1: two million dollars of equity right now on the two

896
00:44:45,680 --> 00:44:50,640
Speaker 1: hundred dollar purchase if it wasn't for this beautiful person

897
00:44:50,719 --> 00:44:53,360
Speaker 1: to my left, right here, who said to me, I

898
00:44:53,400 --> 00:44:55,040
Speaker 1: don't I don't really even want a house right now.

899
00:44:55,280 --> 00:44:58,120
Speaker 1: I don't mind saying an apartment here, I don't mind

900
00:44:58,200 --> 00:45:00,719
Speaker 1: staying here. I love it. Came back the honeymoon like

901
00:45:00,760 --> 00:45:06,160
Speaker 1: I hate it here. I was like what I was like,

902
00:45:06,239 --> 00:45:08,800
Speaker 1: wait a secondode the house is not coming after the wedding,

903
00:45:08,880 --> 00:45:11,359
Speaker 1: is it? And this was crazy. Y'all tried to kill

904
00:45:11,480 --> 00:45:14,680
Speaker 1: me gifts. Y'all tried to kill me for my pressure comment.

905
00:45:14,760 --> 00:45:17,400
Speaker 1: You tried to kill me for my pressure, but I

906
00:45:17,520 --> 00:45:21,520
Speaker 1: don't know what I have been through trying to provide

907
00:45:21,560 --> 00:45:23,560
Speaker 1: the type of light that this woman says she wants,

908
00:45:23,600 --> 00:45:25,600
Speaker 1: only for her to be like I was stupid for

909
00:45:25,640 --> 00:45:28,480
Speaker 1: saying that back then. But y'all killed me. But y'all

910
00:45:28,560 --> 00:45:29,719
Speaker 1: killed me. But you know what, I'm gonna take it.

911
00:45:29,719 --> 00:45:30,879
Speaker 1: You know I'm gonna take that. You know I'm gonna

912
00:45:30,920 --> 00:45:34,520
Speaker 1: take the killing because because I'm speaking, I'm speaking my truth.

913
00:45:34,640 --> 00:45:36,640
Speaker 1: And and you cute while you do it. Look at you,

914
00:45:37,320 --> 00:45:40,680
Speaker 1: you ain't even sweating. These conversations used to make him sweat.

915
00:45:40,719 --> 00:45:43,920
Speaker 1: Look like I used to be about to pass out

916
00:45:44,000 --> 00:45:46,239
Speaker 1: having this conversation about this. Do I have to let

917
00:45:46,280 --> 00:45:50,200
Speaker 1: me die beforehead? Okay, all right, there you go. He's

918
00:45:50,200 --> 00:45:53,239
Speaker 1: a little shiny right there. You get stressed out thinking

919
00:45:53,239 --> 00:45:55,440
Speaker 1: about it, But I don't know exactly. We're a good

920
00:45:55,440 --> 00:45:59,640
Speaker 1: place now with this. Tell that to yourself. You owe

921
00:45:59,680 --> 00:46:01,640
Speaker 1: me a stone in Brooklyn. You got a moment of

922
00:46:01,680 --> 00:46:04,000
Speaker 1: truth or what? First of all, the moment of truth,

923
00:46:04,160 --> 00:46:06,120
Speaker 1: don't let your wife talking out of buying the brownston't

924
00:46:06,120 --> 00:46:09,000
Speaker 1: want to have a wedding done? And then moment of truth, girl,

925
00:46:09,640 --> 00:46:13,080
Speaker 1: financial stability over the wedding. I'm telling you that as

926
00:46:13,080 --> 00:46:17,080
Speaker 1: a big sister. Okay, but get the wedding one day.

927
00:46:17,120 --> 00:46:21,719
Speaker 1: Though wedding was fun, I ain't Annie was fun. Um.

928
00:46:21,880 --> 00:46:23,840
Speaker 1: But yeah. If you'd like to be featured as one

929
00:46:23,840 --> 00:46:25,759
Speaker 1: of our listener letters and send us a whole blur

930
00:46:25,920 --> 00:46:28,839
Speaker 1: with lots of context, please do email us at dead

931
00:46:28,880 --> 00:46:31,080
Speaker 1: as Advice at gmail dot com. That's d E A

932
00:46:31,200 --> 00:46:33,279
Speaker 1: D A S S A d V I C E

933
00:46:33,520 --> 00:46:38,400
Speaker 1: at gmail dot com. All right, sounds good? All right, Well,

934
00:46:38,440 --> 00:46:40,319
Speaker 1: we gave my moments of truth. They were kind of fun.

935
00:46:43,560 --> 00:46:46,239
Speaker 1: My my real moment of truth though, My real moment

936
00:46:46,280 --> 00:46:49,760
Speaker 1: of truth is that, um, the American dream is ownership.

937
00:46:51,000 --> 00:46:54,880
Speaker 1: It's not working. Ownership on land own property. You can

938
00:46:54,920 --> 00:46:59,280
Speaker 1: pass it down your your kids, your grandkids, grandkids, grandkids

939
00:46:59,280 --> 00:47:01,640
Speaker 1: will appreciate at you more if you get a piece

940
00:47:01,680 --> 00:47:05,120
Speaker 1: of property and you own it. My moment of truth.

941
00:47:05,200 --> 00:47:09,840
Speaker 1: With that ownership comes education. So you're working for and

942
00:47:09,960 --> 00:47:11,920
Speaker 1: we are busting our asks for right now for our

943
00:47:12,040 --> 00:47:15,000
Speaker 1: children to create this legacy. Be sure to educate them

944
00:47:15,040 --> 00:47:17,319
Speaker 1: so they can continue to grow that legacy for years

945
00:47:17,360 --> 00:47:19,920
Speaker 1: to come. Because the worst thing is busting your ass

946
00:47:20,040 --> 00:47:23,120
Speaker 1: for something and somebody pissing it away. That ain't about

947
00:47:23,120 --> 00:47:26,920
Speaker 1: to happen. Man, Where the education reside? Where the education

948
00:47:27,000 --> 00:47:29,880
Speaker 1: reside in the Ellis household? I know that that's so,

949
00:47:30,040 --> 00:47:33,520
Speaker 1: Mary had a little lamb. Be sure to follow us,

950
00:47:33,719 --> 00:47:36,960
Speaker 1: find us on social media. Dead asked the podcast, and

951
00:47:37,080 --> 00:47:39,680
Speaker 1: of course I'm Cadine, I am and I am devout.

952
00:47:39,760 --> 00:47:42,319
Speaker 1: And if you're listening on Apple podcast, be sure to rate,

953
00:47:42,640 --> 00:47:46,719
Speaker 1: review and subscribe to your boy and girl. I we

954
00:47:46,880 --> 00:47:51,240
Speaker 1: love y'all. Well, appreciate your dead Asses back, y'all. Where's

955
00:47:51,280 --> 00:47:59,319
Speaker 1: this dead Ass reside As resides right here. Dead Ass

956
00:47:59,400 --> 00:48:01,960
Speaker 1: is a production if I Heart Media podcast Network and

957
00:48:02,080 --> 00:48:05,680
Speaker 1: is produced by Dinorapinia and Triple. Follow the podcast on

958
00:48:05,800 --> 00:48:08,480
Speaker 1: social media at dead As the Podcasts and never miss

959
00:48:08,520 --> 00:48:08,759
Speaker 1: a Thing.