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Speaker 1: Time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if you need

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Speaker 1: advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more. Please

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Speaker 1: submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HAARBFM dot com and

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Speaker 1: click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter,

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Speaker 1: just like we're going to read this one right here,

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Speaker 1: right now. It could be yours. You never know, you

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Speaker 1: never know.

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Speaker 2: Buckle app and hold on tight. We got a toy

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Speaker 2: you here. It is the Strawberry Letter subject. This drinking

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Speaker 2: and cussing has to stop. Dear Stephen Shirley, my husband

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Speaker 2: of twenty two years, has made a lot of changes

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Speaker 2: in the last six months. He's been in the military

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Speaker 2: since I met him, and he retired last year, but

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Speaker 2: he still hangs out with his co workers. He has

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Speaker 2: always cursed like a sailor because he was a sailor

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Speaker 2: when he was younger. When we had our first child,

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Speaker 2: I asked him to watch what he said around our

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Speaker 2: daughter after he slacked up with using profanity, and he

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Speaker 2: did slack up with using profanity. Now that he's retired,

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Speaker 2: I think he's frustrated and bored because he started using strong,

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Speaker 2: four letter words and he said the kids are old

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Speaker 2: enough to understand We have a seventeen year old and

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Speaker 2: a fifteen year old, and he curses at them like

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Speaker 2: they are his age. Not only do I have to

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Speaker 2: put up with his bad language, he put a bar

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Speaker 2: in the basement and bought all brands of alcohol, and

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Speaker 2: his former co workers pop up at our house and

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Speaker 2: they go downstairs and drink up all of my husband's liquor.

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Speaker 2: He gets very drunk, and usually he falls asleep in

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Speaker 2: the basement and I have to usher his friends out.

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Speaker 2: Money is not an issue with all of the alcohol,

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Speaker 2: but I get tired of his buddies drinking up his

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Speaker 2: premium liquor and they don't give him one cent to

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Speaker 2: buy more. I asked my husband if he's going through

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Speaker 2: something or if this is a midlife crisis, and he

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Speaker 2: told me that he's fine, but ready to let his

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Speaker 2: hair down a little because he's not working anymore. I

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Speaker 2: did not want to spend my retirement with a drunk,

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Speaker 2: foul mouth man.

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Speaker 1: He's Here's the worst part. The last time we were

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Speaker 1: being intimate, he was drunk and he called me a

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Speaker 1: dirty name, and he kept cursing so loudly. I was

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Speaker 1: afraid our kids would hear it. How can I stop

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Speaker 1: him from being so crude. I need the drinking and

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Speaker 1: cussing to stop. Wow, well it doesn't look like it's

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Speaker 1: gonna stop for a while anyway. It sounds like your

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Speaker 1: husband needs a seriously different kind of hobby than, you know,

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Speaker 1: just being downstairs drinking with his friends. But he did

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Speaker 1: tell you he wanted to let his hair down a

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Speaker 1: little bit. Maybe this is not going to last forever,

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Speaker 1: but I see you want to cut it off now,

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Speaker 1: cut it off at the past before it gets any worse.

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Speaker 1: He did say, like I said, he wanted to let

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Speaker 1: his hair down a little because he's not working anymore.

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Speaker 1: And that's you know, you said it too. He's bored

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Speaker 1: and frustrated. But he also has to realize that this

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Speaker 1: is your house too. When you guys do have kids,

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Speaker 1: he needs to be mindful and respectful of his influence

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Speaker 1: on them. He was able to curb his cursing when

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Speaker 1: your daughter was little, so you know he can change

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Speaker 1: if he wants to. I say, you tell him you

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Speaker 1: need a break from all the company and the drinking

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Speaker 1: and the cursing, because it's getting out of control and

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Speaker 1: he's drinking way too much, maybe turning into an alcoholic

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Speaker 1: you know, let him know he's setting a horrible example

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Speaker 1: for the kids. He needs to find out something, find

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Speaker 1: something else to do. Tell him you don't want drunk sex.

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Speaker 1: You don't want that, and you don't want his old

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Speaker 1: coworkers just popping up at the house unannounced. Now are

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Speaker 1: you mad at that? Or are you mad at the

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Speaker 1: fact that they're drinking of all your husband's good liquor,

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Speaker 1: Because those are kind of two different issues. If they come,

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Speaker 1: you don't have to answer the door, especially if they

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Speaker 1: come unannounced, stop letting them in. If they do, just

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Speaker 1: don't answer the door. And if you do let them in,

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Speaker 1: hide the liquor. Hide the liquor. All right, that's what

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Speaker 1: you have to do, Steve.

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Speaker 3: Well, this drinking and cussing has to stop. I'm gonna

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Speaker 3: just be upfront with you before we start. Just letter

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Speaker 3: I might can help you with the drinking.

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Speaker 4: What are you saying?

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Speaker 3: I don't want to be hypocritical. I think I can

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Speaker 3: possibly help you with this cussing. Cuss I know where

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Speaker 3: it comes from. Anyway, Your husband twenty two, that made

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Speaker 3: a lot of changes in the last six months, been

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Speaker 3: in the military since you met him. He retired last week,

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Speaker 3: but he still hangs around with his coworkers.

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Speaker 4: Well, he missed his friends. Uh, they've they had relationships.

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Speaker 3: You know, a lot of people once they stopped working,

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Speaker 3: you know, they missed the camaraderie at work, They missed

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Speaker 3: the relationships down at the job.

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Speaker 4: They just as dudes, and he missed them, all right.

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Speaker 3: So he's always cussed like a sailor, and he said

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Speaker 3: that's because he was. But marines cuss, army people cussed,

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Speaker 3: post office workers, cuss, pastors cuss. Media's Cus radio show

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Speaker 3: hosts cuss. Shu cuss. She acts like she don't, but

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Speaker 3: she probably do all that old mess right there. Who

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Speaker 3: the hell don't cuss anyway, anyway, let's just move on.

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Speaker 3: I can tell you for show, call him for real cuss.

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Speaker 3: So now we had our first child, I ask him

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Speaker 3: to watch what he said around her daughter, and he

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Speaker 3: slacked up. Well, now he's retired and he's frustrating the

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Speaker 3: board because he'd just started using folk letter words again what.

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Speaker 4: He slacked up when the baby was young.

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Speaker 3: But see now you say, we have a seventeen year

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Speaker 3: old and a fifteen year old and he cusses at

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Speaker 3: them like they his age. They probably heard these words before, ma'am.

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Speaker 3: Now if letting, if he's not cursing at his daughter,

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Speaker 3: that's a different thing.

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Speaker 4: You know.

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Speaker 3: Cussing at your little girls is wrong if you a man,

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Speaker 3: I just think it's wrong. I do not only do

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Speaker 3: I have to put up his bag language. He put

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Speaker 3: a bar in the basement. He bought all brands I

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Speaker 3: call his fomer. Coworkers pop up at the house and

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Speaker 3: they go downstairs and they drink up all my husband liquor.

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Speaker 3: He gets very drunk and usually falls asleep in the

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Speaker 3: basement and I have to usher his friends out. Now,

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Speaker 3: that's that's a little crazy. Your husband drinking that hard. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: that he falls asleep and they steal down there, that's

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Speaker 3: a problem.

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Speaker 4: I have a solution for that though. When we come back.

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Speaker 3: I asked my husband if he's going through something in

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Speaker 3: midlife christ He said, he fine, He just ready to

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Speaker 3: let his head down a little bit because he ain't

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Speaker 3: working no more.

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Speaker 4: Well, I got that, But we gotta.

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Speaker 3: Do something because y'all can't be that old, because the

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Speaker 3: kids ain't but seventeen and fifteen. So now he retired,

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Speaker 3: we got to come up with something else to do

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Speaker 3: size drinking.

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Speaker 4: I got the rest when I come back.

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Speaker 1: All right, thank you, Steve. Hang on, we'll have part

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Speaker 1: two of Steve's response coming up at twenty three minutes

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Speaker 1: after the hour. Today's Strawberry letter subjects the drinking and

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Speaker 1: the cussing has to stop. We'll get back into it

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Speaker 1: right after this. You're listening Steve Hardy Morning Show. All right,

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Speaker 1: come on, Steve, let's recap today's Strawberry letter. The subject

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Speaker 1: this drinking cussing has to stop.

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Speaker 3: Well, here's a deal. Been married twenty two years, he's

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Speaker 3: always cussed. He then he didn't put a bar in

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Speaker 3: the basement. He miss his friends, those relationships. He then

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Speaker 3: started back to cussing again. And now the kids are

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Speaker 3: seventeen and fifteen, and you say he cussing at them

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Speaker 3: like they're his age. They probably heard all these words before.

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Speaker 3: Like I said before, as long as he's not cursing

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Speaker 3: at the daughter that way, I don't think that's cool

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Speaker 3: at all, because it sends a bad example to a

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Speaker 3: young lady. That is okay for a man to talk

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Speaker 3: to her that way, and it's not. And as fathers,

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Speaker 3: we have to be very very conscious the example that

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Speaker 3: we put in front of our daughters and our sons.

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Speaker 4: But you really don't.

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Speaker 3: Want a daughter to think that this is acceptable coming

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Speaker 3: from a person who's supposed to love her. That's an

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Speaker 3: unacceptable dog And that's what you got to get a

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Speaker 3: grip on that right there.

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Speaker 4: Now.

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Speaker 3: He respected her when she was young, but now that

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Speaker 3: they're older, I got that they old enough that they've

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Speaker 3: heard this. But you can't do that to your daughter. Man,

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Speaker 3: I'm telling you, it's a dangerous slope. You're creating something

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Speaker 3: in her that she don't need to be. She needs

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Speaker 3: to always look at her father as a protector, somebody

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Speaker 3: she can go to and want to, you know, hold

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Speaker 3: her father in high esteem. He could be losing that,

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Speaker 3: So point that out to him.

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Speaker 4: Tell him.

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Speaker 3: I said that that's cool. Steve said, you shouldn't do

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Speaker 3: it around your daughter, and you shouldn't. And most men

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Speaker 3: had agree with me and all. And we have daughters

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Speaker 3: on this show. Me and Tommy got daughters. And that

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Speaker 3: ain't how we talk, all right. Now, he to put

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Speaker 3: his body downstairs, and his workers pop over at the

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Speaker 3: house and they go downstairs, they drink up all your

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Speaker 3: husband's liquor. He get drunk, fall asleep, and then you

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Speaker 3: gotta USh his friends out. Money ain't an issue with

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Speaker 3: all alcohol, but I get tired his buddy drinking up

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Speaker 3: his premium looking in and they don't give him one

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Speaker 3: cent to buy more.

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Speaker 4: So, now here's the deal with that.

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Speaker 3: I think the solution is he get a knight with

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Speaker 3: his buddies downstairs. Pick the knight that is the night

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Speaker 3: for drinking, and then that makes it once a week

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Speaker 3: or once every two weeks, whatever y'all decide. But he

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Speaker 3: gets a knight to go down with his ball with

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Speaker 3: his buddies. They can't just pop up. I don't know

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Speaker 3: what y'all running over there. And this ain't camp, and

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Speaker 3: y'all ain't little kids coming over to me like, Hey,

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Speaker 3: we want to play video games and ride your bike.

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Speaker 4: That ain't what this is.

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Speaker 3: You got a family dog, and you can't have people

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Speaker 3: just popping up at your house. That's unacceptable because now

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Speaker 3: you're not only disrespecting your daughter, you're disrespecting your wife.

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Speaker 4: So now you ask him if you're going through something.

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Speaker 3: He said he ready to be tie now and he

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Speaker 3: won't let his hair down a little. I've been told

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Speaker 3: that you can retire from the military's earlier's thirty eight,

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Speaker 3: but you've been with him twenty two years, so he

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Speaker 3: must have been in the military for two years.

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Speaker 4: So let's say y'all got married at.

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Speaker 3: Twenty Let's say twenty twenty two, because the kids is

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Speaker 3: fifteen and seventeen. So let's say he forty forty four

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Speaker 3: years old. Okay, dog, so you ain't finna do nothing

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Speaker 3: except drink because you done retire. You got to do

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Speaker 3: something else. Dog, you may live another forty fifty years.

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Speaker 3: What this can't be it You need to get some hobbies.

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Speaker 3: I didn't want to spend my retirement with a drunk

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Speaker 3: firemouth man. Here's the worst part. Last time we were

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Speaker 3: being enterming. He was drunk and he called me a

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Speaker 3: dirty name, and he kept cussing so loudly. I was

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Speaker 3: afraid our kids was here. Well, they heard it.

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Speaker 4: They heard it.

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Speaker 1: He loud.

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Speaker 3: You know, drunk people don't ever realize how loud they talk.

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Speaker 3: I don't know what happened, but I think drinking blocks

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Speaker 3: your hearing. That is for damn sure or symptom of

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Speaker 3: being drunk. I think it blocks your hearing. So I

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Speaker 3: know he talking a loud and they heard it. How

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Speaker 3: could I stop him from being so crude? I need

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Speaker 3: the drinking and cussing to stop. First of all, Shirley

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Speaker 3: said it right, you don't have to have drunk sex.

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Speaker 3: So you're drinking, we're not having sex. That'll cut back

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Speaker 3: on some of the drinking. And if you cuss me,

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Speaker 3: it's over, but not once again. I can help you

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Speaker 3: with the drinking. You know, sex and cussing is kind

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Speaker 3: of you know, let's go together, yeah, kind of kind

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Speaker 3: kind of handed hand.

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Speaker 4: Really. Yeah, I'm just.

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Speaker 3: Trying to figure out how we're going you know, I

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Speaker 3: got we're gonna stop cussing at the kids. When I'm

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Speaker 3: trying to figure out how we're gonna stop this while

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Speaker 3: we're having sex. You know what, what what are we

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Speaker 3: supposed to say? I mean, I do know substitute works

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Speaker 3: like oh, goody goodie. You know you can't, Kate, I

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Speaker 3: don't know what you're supposed to say while you're having it.

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Speaker 3: That replaces all sugar, honey ice. He oh, I don't

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Speaker 3: know how you replace that with uh.

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Speaker 4: H cheapers? How about helping? Wow, this is swell, you

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Speaker 4: know it? Say? Yeah, I don't, I don't know. I don't.

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Speaker 3: I don't know what we're doing right here, you know,

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Speaker 3: I don't I don't know how to do that. So

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Speaker 3: once again I can't help you. Right there, he needs

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Speaker 3: to stop the drink. And knowing you need to have

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Speaker 3: the guys have a knight that they can come over

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Speaker 3: and you know they coming and they leave. Uh, you

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Speaker 3: know you all could also implement, well he just put

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Speaker 3: that bar down there they come. Just just have a

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Speaker 3: knight that you can do it. And then just set

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Speaker 3: one bottle, two bottles out. This is what we're drinking

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Speaker 3: and then that's it. They can be premium liquor, but

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Speaker 3: once that's gone, it's over with, you know, when you

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Speaker 3: drinking five six bottles?

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Speaker 2: All right?

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Speaker 1: Steve, thank you. Post your comments on today's Strawberry Letter

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