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Speaker 1: I started to realize that not being an expert isn't

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Speaker 1: a liability, it's a real gift. If we don't know

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Speaker 1: something about ourselves at this point in our life, it's

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Speaker 1: probably because it's uncomfortable to know. If you can die

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Speaker 1: before you die, then you can really live. There's a

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Speaker 1: wisdom at death's door. I thought I was insane. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and I didn't know what to do because there was

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Speaker 1: no internet. I don't know, man, I'm like, I feel

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Speaker 1: like everything is hard. Hey, y'all, my name is Kat.

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Speaker 1: I'm a human first and a licensed therapist second. And

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Speaker 1: right now I'm inviting you into conversations that I hope

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Speaker 1: encourage you to become more curious and less judgmental about yourself, others,

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Speaker 1: and the world around you. Welcome to You Need Therapy.

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Speaker 1: Hi guys, and welcome to a new episode of Therapy Podcast.

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Speaker 1: My name is Kat, I am the host, and quick

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Speaker 1: reminder before we get into the episode today that although

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Speaker 1: this podcast is hosted by a therapist and it's called

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Speaker 1: You Need Therapy, it does not serve as a replacement

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Speaker 1: or a substitute for any actual mental health services. However,

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Speaker 1: we always hope that it can be helpful in some

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Speaker 1: way to you guys. Now, today's episode is a solo episode,

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Speaker 1: and the idea for it started while I was singing

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Speaker 1: a song that I realized I didn't actually know the

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Speaker 1: words to. And I feel like I said that confusingly,

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Speaker 1: because what I mean is like, have you ever sang

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Speaker 1: a song or learned a song or memorized the words

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Speaker 1: for a song and then you realized that you actually

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Speaker 1: don't even know what the song was, even saying like,

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Speaker 1: you know the words, but you don't even know what

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Speaker 1: they mean when shrunk together, and I am hoping that

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Speaker 1: you guys are saying, oh, yes, I do that, because

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Speaker 1: I I do that all the time. And I actually

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Speaker 1: started laughing thinking about, like what other songs I do

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Speaker 1: or I have done this with. And there are a

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Speaker 1: lot of songs that I would sang back in let's

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Speaker 1: say middle school, early ages, maybe even like elementary school

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Speaker 1: that I had no business singing along too, but I

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Speaker 1: didn't really know what I was saying. So that still

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Speaker 1: happens to me as an adult. And I realized it

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Speaker 1: was happening last week. And I recently became obsessed with

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Speaker 1: this song called Call Your Mom by Noah Kahan, and

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Speaker 1: if you don't know who he is. I just did

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Speaker 1: you a huge favor because he's amazing, and I'm so

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Speaker 1: jealous that you get to listen to all of his

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Speaker 1: music for the first time. But I recently became obsessed

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Speaker 1: with this song called Your Mom and I was listening

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Speaker 1: on repeat, and I do that a lot with songs,

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Speaker 1: and then I usually get annoyed with them, so I'm

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Speaker 1: trying to take it slow with this one. But I

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Speaker 1: didn't really know why I was obsessed with this song

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Speaker 1: other than I really liked I don't know the beat

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Speaker 1: or the mood of the song, and if you don't

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Speaker 1: know me, I am known to love sad music and

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Speaker 1: won't get to that later. But anyway, the song eventually

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Speaker 1: came and made its way into my TikTok algorithm, and

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Speaker 1: the lyrics were on the video that I was watching,

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Speaker 1: so I was reading them as I was watching the video,

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Speaker 1: and I just had this moment of oh my gosh,

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Speaker 1: I get more why I'm obsessed with this song. And

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Speaker 1: then I proceeded to put it on my phone and

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Speaker 1: play it and listen to it over and over because

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Speaker 1: it almost took on this whole new meaning. And this

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Speaker 1: is a song that, in my opinion, just opens up

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Speaker 1: your feelings. And as I was both listening to it

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Speaker 1: and reading the lyrics, it almost was as if like

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Speaker 1: this rolodex of my own experiences relating to his words

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Speaker 1: up and my mind was sifting through them. I could

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Speaker 1: see I actually am like as I'm saying this and

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Speaker 1: thinking back on the certain images that popped up as

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Speaker 1: I was relating to this, and it felt very warm

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Speaker 1: and cozy, even though a lot of these images that

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Speaker 1: were popping up were images from a time in my

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Speaker 1: life that was not my favorite time. And this song

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Speaker 1: is actually about a friend of his that died by suicide,

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Speaker 1: and the song talks about showing up and supporting somebody

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Speaker 1: who's going through really deep, extreme, excruciating pain. And one

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Speaker 1: of my favorite lines in the song is don't let

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Speaker 1: this darkness fool you. All the lights turned off can

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Speaker 1: be turned on. And as I was reading that and

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Speaker 1: listening to it over and over again, I had this

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Speaker 1: moment of clarity where I could finally answer this question

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Speaker 1: that I feel like I've asked myself, and therapist says

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Speaker 1: have also asked me multiple times, and I've given them

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Speaker 1: answers I'd given myself answers. But I had this moment

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Speaker 1: of clarity where I actually know the answer to the question,

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Speaker 1: what would you go back and tell your younger self

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Speaker 1: if you got the chance to go back and speak

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Speaker 1: to them, And it would be that it would just

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Speaker 1: be that lyric, that sentence right there. Don't let this

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Speaker 1: darkness fool you. All lights turned off can be turned on. Now.

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Speaker 1: I've never experienced suicidal ideation myself when I am thinking

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Speaker 1: about the moments that pop in my head that I

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Speaker 1: would go back and say those two That's not exactly

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Speaker 1: what I was going through. But I have been in

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Speaker 1: places that have felt somewhat like black holes, and I

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Speaker 1: have had seasons in my life where I thought I

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Speaker 1: would never feel joy again. And I've had seasons where

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Speaker 1: I felt sad and I had been tearful and anxious

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Speaker 1: with no available explanation, which is something that is really

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Speaker 1: scary to just be tearful and sad all the time

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Speaker 1: when there isn't anything you can pinpoint or understand or explain. Therefore,

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Speaker 1: you can't really do certain things to change how you're

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Speaker 1: feeling because you don't even know what got you there.

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Speaker 1: And I have learned a lot through those experiences. I'm

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Speaker 1: not currently going through one of those, however, I know

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Speaker 1: that that can happen again. But I have learned so

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Speaker 1: much through those moments of my life. And one of

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Speaker 1: the most valuable things that I have learned in those

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Speaker 1: moments is that things change. They can change for the

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Speaker 1: bad sometimes, but also they get better and they can

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Speaker 1: change for the good. And if there is one thing

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Speaker 1: that we can count on, and that I know that

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Speaker 1: I can count on, is that life will continue to change.

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Speaker 1: They'll continue to be moments in my life that I

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Speaker 1: want to savor, and they there will continue to be

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Speaker 1: moments in my life that I don't want to exist.

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Speaker 1: Not me wanting to exist, but I don't want those

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Speaker 1: moments to exist. And this knowing of change and learning

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Speaker 1: that's inevitable. It has really led me to be able

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Speaker 1: to be more present in my joyful moments and it

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Speaker 1: has also, at the same time led me to be

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Speaker 1: able to curate and grab onto more hope in the

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Speaker 1: bleak moments. So I used to teach indoor cycling, and

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Speaker 1: this was a long time ago. I mean, I guess

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Speaker 1: I quit a year and a half maybe two years ago,

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Speaker 1: but I taught for like six or seven years and

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Speaker 1: a long time ago, probably in the first two or

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Speaker 1: three years of that, I got a review on class Pass,

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Speaker 1: which is a app and like a membership that you

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Speaker 1: can buy so you can go to a bunch of

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Speaker 1: different classes and not just be at one studio or gym.

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Speaker 1: And at the end of every class, the app prompts

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Speaker 1: you to review the class and rate the class. And

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Speaker 1: I got a review one time that said something along

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Speaker 1: the lines of, she's been playing a lot of sad

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Speaker 1: music lately. And I think that I actually said, I

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Speaker 1: love Kat's class, but she's been playing a lot of

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Speaker 1: sad music lately. And I wish I could have responded

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Speaker 1: to that review directly, because I would have said, well,

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Speaker 1: I'm doing that because I'm sad and the music and

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Speaker 1: the songs that are the most interesting to me right

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Speaker 1: now are songs that I can connect to and the

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Speaker 1: ones that I understand, and these are the ones that

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Speaker 1: I understand right now. And then it turned out I

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Speaker 1: got kind of a reputation for playing sad, moody music,

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Speaker 1: and that kind of was what I was known for.

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Speaker 1: And it's not all I played, obviously, but it was

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Speaker 1: a staple that you were bound to get if you

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Speaker 1: came to one of my cycling classes, which I did

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Speaker 1: not hate that that was what I was known for.

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Speaker 1: I really liked it. And granted my classes aren't or

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Speaker 1: weren't because I don't teach anymore, but they weren't for everyone,

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Speaker 1: just like anyone's class isn't going to be for everyone.

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Speaker 1: But what I think they did for a lot of

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Speaker 1: people is it gave them permission to feel the weight

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Speaker 1: of the human experience, knowing that they weren't doing it

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Speaker 1: by themselves. And I said earlier, I really do like

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Speaker 1: listening to sad music, and it's because this weird thing

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Speaker 1: happens when I listen to those kinds of songs. It

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Speaker 1: doesn't make me more sad necessarily. It actually feels very

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Speaker 1: soothing because I'm experiencing this me not being alone in

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Speaker 1: the moments of pain that I've had when I listen

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Speaker 1: to those songs. And what I do know is that

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Speaker 1: it is really difficult to grieve alone, and it kind

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Speaker 1: of just adds insult to injury. Like I'm already in

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Speaker 1: this screening process and I'm doing it by myself, and

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Speaker 1: I feel kind of just like I'm out here on

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Speaker 1: an island, and what I have experienced. What I have

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Speaker 1: with the thoughts that have been going on in my

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Speaker 1: head when I listen to that music, is that if

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Speaker 1: I'm connecting with what these people are saying or writing,

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Speaker 1: and they are writing these songs from experiences they have had,

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Speaker 1: the only way they can put these words together is

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Speaker 1: because it's something that has happened to them or somebody else,

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Speaker 1: then that means that other people have been where I am,

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Speaker 1: and that means that they most likely made it through

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Speaker 1: some of these times to be able to write this

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Speaker 1: music or go out and play this music. Or maybe

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Speaker 1: they are sharing this music from a different moment in

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Speaker 1: their life. And if they once felt like this and

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Speaker 1: their life still isn't in that deep hole, then I

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Speaker 1: have some data that shows that my life will not

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Speaker 1: always be in this deep hole. I believe that connection

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Speaker 1: is by far one of the greatest healers and also

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Speaker 1: one of the greatest soothing agents that we have. It's

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Speaker 1: why the same songs that I listened to on repeat

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Speaker 1: while I was crying for hours in my bed thinking

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Speaker 1: my life would never feel normal again, are also the

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Speaker 1: same songs that I can listen to in my car

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Speaker 1: on the way to work and feel refreshed after listening

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Speaker 1: to and listening to Call Your Mom, which is like,

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Speaker 1: it's a funny title, but listening to that song didn't

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Speaker 1: shove me into a pit of depression. It allowed me

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Speaker 1: to offer myself self compassion, and it allowed me to

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Speaker 1: offer myself so much gratitude and allowed myself to be

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Speaker 1: proud of myself and to have perspective. It was so helpful.

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Speaker 1: But it's not just songs that do that, right. One

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Speaker 1: of my most memorable therapy sessions ever was one where

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Speaker 1: a therapist that I was seeing told me a story

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Speaker 1: that related to what I was going through at the

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Speaker 1: time and what I walked into her office wanting to

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Speaker 1: work through. And I kept asking myself if I would

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Speaker 1: always feel this way? And I probably asked her that

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Speaker 1: a million times, because I think I blacked out a

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Speaker 1: lot of our sessions because I was in such an

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Speaker 1: emotional warfare with myself. However, I remember her telling me

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Speaker 1: that story. I remember how I was sitting, I remember

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Speaker 1: I can see her face as she's telling it to me,

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Speaker 1: and like how she was positioned in her chair, and

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Speaker 1: her story showed me that there was a possibility that

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Speaker 1: I wouldn't always feel that way and to be honest.

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Speaker 1: When she told me her story, I was like, oh, shoot,

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Speaker 1: like that's worse than the situation I'm in. And she's

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Speaker 1: sitting here having hope, and she's sitting here living a

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Speaker 1: life that she's enjoying, and she's sitting here able to

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Speaker 1: smile and laugh and get through an hour of the

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Speaker 1: day without crying. Okay. That gives me something to kind

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Speaker 1: of hold on to, some proof, some data. And there

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Speaker 1: are a lot of memes or videos just like posts

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Speaker 1: or things on the internet and social media that have

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Speaker 1: created a huge fear around sharing our stories of redemption

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Speaker 1: to those who are struggling. Essentially, these types of I

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Speaker 1: think you guys will understand what I'm talking about, But

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Speaker 1: these types of videos are basically posturing that when you

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Speaker 1: share something about yourself in the midst of someone else's pain,

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Speaker 1: you're invalidating them in one way or another. And I

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Speaker 1: like to assume that this comes from a good place,

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Speaker 1: But what's happened I've seen is that we've somewhat created

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Speaker 1: barriers to hope and connection through those good intentions, I

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Speaker 1: believe there is value in allowing somebody to say what

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Speaker 1: they need to say and vent and have space to

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Speaker 1: do that. That is theirs to hold and uninterrupted. I

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Speaker 1: believe in all that, and there's a difference in making

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Speaker 1: someone else's pain about you and letting someone know they're

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Speaker 1: not alone. And letting someone know they are not alone

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Speaker 1: is very powerful. I do think there are some instances

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Speaker 1: when maybe you don't need to say anything about yourself.

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Speaker 1: Those are things that are true that there are those things,

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Speaker 1: but there are also few worse things to hear or

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Speaker 1: to think because of certain silences. Then I can't relate

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Speaker 1: to you when you're already feeling alone and lost. And

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Speaker 1: there are a few things I can think of for

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Speaker 1: myself at least better to hear or to feel. Then

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Speaker 1: I get it, and it could be a version of that.

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Speaker 1: But I have been so thankful for moments in my

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Speaker 1: life where I have either been told directly or I

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Speaker 1: have heard through a song or a story or something

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Speaker 1: a podcast, where a book where I've heard some version

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Speaker 1: of I get it. And their experience might be different,

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Speaker 1: but they have felt deep pain and they can show

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Speaker 1: me that there is possibility for it to get better.

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Speaker 1: We can validate and relate at the same time, and

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Speaker 1: that is important that to acknowledge we can validate and

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Speaker 1: relate to somebody at the same time. They don't have

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Speaker 1: to be separate experiences, and I think they're possibly more

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Speaker 1: powerful when they are together. I don't think that there

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Speaker 1: is just like one phrase or action that can completely

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Speaker 1: move us out of the darkness of our lives. There

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Speaker 1: are things that can help. Yes, I don't think that

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Speaker 1: there is one thing that we can do that takes

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Speaker 1: us out of the dark parts of our lives. If

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Speaker 1: there was, I think that we would all be using

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Speaker 1: that by now, and I would not be having this

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Speaker 1: conversation with you guys. I do believe they are experiences

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Speaker 1: that we walk through that allow us to keep seeing

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Speaker 1: hope up ahead, and that give us enough strength to

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Speaker 1: take one more step forward until we need the more

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Speaker 1: strength to take the next step forward. And those experiences

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Speaker 1: that I'm talking about are the ones where we relate

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Speaker 1: to someone or someone relates to us, where we feel

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Speaker 1: understood by someone or where we feel like we understand

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Speaker 1: someone else. It's the essence of being connected rather than lost,

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Speaker 1: where our jagged corners we could look at as shattered

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Speaker 1: and useless pieces, actually becomes spaces that allow someone else's

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Speaker 1: piece to fit and those experiences that prove that my

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Speaker 1: ridges and bumps actually make it possible for me to connect,

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Speaker 1: and my ridges and bumps help other people heal unless

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Speaker 1: I hide them. Of course. Now this doesn't mean I'm

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Speaker 1: glorifying the thing that gave me that bump, but it

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Speaker 1: gives me a way to see meaning in life after

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Speaker 1: the bump happens. Anyone who listens to this podcast regularly

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Speaker 1: knows that I have an ever evolving, complicated relationship with

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Speaker 1: how we share our lives on social media and the

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Speaker 1: way in which we divulge our insides with random people's outsides.

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Speaker 1: And while I don't think everything has to be public information,

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Speaker 1: I also know that when we open up parts of

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Speaker 1: our stories in healthy ways, so much good comes. It's

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Speaker 1: the whole idea of where we can see the phoenix

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Speaker 1: rising from the ashes, right, like something being born new

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Speaker 1: and beautiful out of something dying, something icky happening or

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Speaker 1: undesirable happening. I get to see a lot of the

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Speaker 1: lows of people's lives in my office, which is a

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Speaker 1: unique experience, and I acknowledge that, and I know that

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Speaker 1: I have a different view of the human experience because

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Speaker 1: of that. Now, when I meet people and they ask

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Speaker 1: me what I do. A very common response is often

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Speaker 1: one I get are you analyzing me? Or are you

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Speaker 1: judging me? Oh gosh, don't talk to her. I get

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Speaker 1: some version of that, and then I get oh, my gosh,

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Speaker 1: I don't know how you do that. It must be

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Speaker 1: so hard, like oh my god, are you okay? Like

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Speaker 1: some version of oh, my goodness, gracious, you have the

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Speaker 1: hardest job in the world. And while I believe that

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Speaker 1: our job has its challenges and some days are harder

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Speaker 1: than others, I actually feel extremely grateful to see the

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Speaker 1: lows that I see. And this is not because I

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Speaker 1: like when people are in pain. That's not like a

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Speaker 1: comfortable experience that I have. It's not it's not warm.

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Speaker 1: But what I get to do is I get to

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Speaker 1: watch transformation after transformation. I get to see so many

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Speaker 1: real stories unfold. I get to see the darkness turned

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Speaker 1: to light. I get to see the lights turned off

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Speaker 1: getting turned back on, And that is something that I

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Speaker 1: think is also very unique and not normal. I have

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Speaker 1: so many stories outside of the experiences I have from

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Speaker 1: listening to the music or connecting with friends or connecting

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Speaker 1: with my own therapist. I have so many stories that

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Speaker 1: prove to me that we don't always stay in the

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Speaker 1: dark pits. I have a lot of proof, and I

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Speaker 1: get to witness a lot of proof that will circle

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Speaker 1: back and help someone else believe that things get better.

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Speaker 1: And as I sit across from these people, I come

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Speaker 1: across a lot of people that I see parts of

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Speaker 1: me in. And as I sit across from these people,

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Speaker 1: I come across a lot of people that I see

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Speaker 1: parts of me in. I see a lot of the

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Speaker 1: part of me that wanted to know how to make

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Speaker 1: the pain that I was feeling go away. People looking

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Speaker 1: for tools, for a protocol, for something tangible to do,

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Speaker 1: thinking there has to be some kind of recipe, like

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Speaker 1: you tell, give me the list of the thing I'll

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Speaker 1: do the things. There has to be some kind of

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Speaker 1: recipe that cures this ailment I'm feeling, essentially, and I

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Speaker 1: tend to get both confused and disappointed looks when I

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Speaker 1: tell them that there is no recipe. It doesn't exist.

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Speaker 1: But if if one did, it would include being with

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Speaker 1: your pain, not avoiding it. And there is so much

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Speaker 1: fruitfulness in being in that pain. That is, without a doubt,

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Speaker 1: ninety nine point nine percent of the time I get

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Speaker 1: a cross eyed look after saying something like that to somebody.

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Speaker 1: And there are things you can do to soothe yourself

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Speaker 1: as you were in the pain, but there are not

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Speaker 1: any full per strategies that I've discovered or heard of

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Speaker 1: that functionally allow you to heal and process your experiences

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Speaker 1: unless you stay engaged with your experience and in that.

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Speaker 1: There are certain things that I have to say in

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Speaker 1: my work that honestly annoy me, and sometimes I'll preface

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Speaker 1: them with I know this is annoying to hear, and

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Speaker 1: I'm annoyed with myself for even having to say it.

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Speaker 1: Sometimes I don't, but sometimes I say that because it

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Speaker 1: is just that annoying. They feel cheesy, they feel like

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Speaker 1: they're cliches. They're just like baseline annoying. One of those

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Speaker 1: things happens to be time helps. It's annoying because from

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Speaker 1: my experience, it's like, okay, cool, that's not helpful, Like

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Speaker 1: you telling me that is not helpful. I can't manipulate time.

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Speaker 1: I can't speed it up, I can't slow it down.

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Speaker 1: I have no control over that. And it's usually not

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Speaker 1: something that somebody wants to hear in the midst of pain.

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Speaker 1: But often what they recalled being an enormous part of

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Speaker 1: their recovery. Hannah Bruncher, who is a writer and also

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Speaker 1: has been a guest on the wrote a blog post

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Speaker 1: a while ago where she talked about something that was

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Speaker 1: kind of annoying in the same way to her. I'm

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Speaker 1: going to read what she wrote. She said, I used

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Speaker 1: to hate when people would liken in quotes going through

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Speaker 1: a hard time or in quotes transforming to the process

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Speaker 1: of a caterpillar turning into a butterfly. I thought it

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Speaker 1: was the stupidest, most overused metaphor out there. I read

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Speaker 1: somewhere that caterpillars go through something called diapause. Diapause is

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Speaker 1: the spot in the transformation process where some caterpillars tried

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Speaker 1: desperately to cling to their larva life. They don't want

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Speaker 1: to change, they try to resist it. I think that's

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Speaker 1: probably because they have no idea what's coming up ahead.

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Speaker 1: They have no idea that there could actually be something

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Speaker 1: better at the end of themselves. They hate the fact

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Speaker 1: that darkness could be good for them now. This actually

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Speaker 1: reminds me of a Mary Oliver quote that someone shared

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Speaker 1: with me when I was going through a time in

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Speaker 1: my life where my emotional pain felt unwavering, like it

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Speaker 1: felt the most excruciating. And the quote is someone I

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Speaker 1: loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It

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Speaker 1: took me years to understand that this too was a gift.

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Speaker 1: And honestly, when they told me that quote, I didn't

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Speaker 1: get it. I didn't understand it. It didn't make sense to

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Speaker 1: me until it actually started making sense. And it's what

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Speaker 1: Hannah wrote. We hate the fact that darkness can be

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Speaker 1: good for us. And what I am not saying here

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Speaker 1: is that your trauma or abuse was good for you.

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Speaker 1: That is a separate, more nuanced conversation where we can

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Speaker 1: separate the experience from creating meaning and life after the experience.

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Speaker 1: But I do believe that darkness and struggle and the

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Speaker 1: time we spend in that space can be fruitful for us,

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Speaker 1: can be helpful. And this is in part why you

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Speaker 1: can't bypass pain by finding meaning, because it is in

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Speaker 1: the pain that creates the space to find the meaning.

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Speaker 1: Hiding or running away from your feelings, finding a way

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Speaker 1: to avoid them or to get rid of them, doesn't

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Speaker 1: make things better. It actually just turns our pain into suffering.

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Speaker 1: And we are in charge of that. We actually control that,

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Speaker 1: which makes me think of something else that I heard

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Speaker 1: from Hannah Brncher. I heard it first years ago, and

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Speaker 1: I don't remember if I heard it she wrote about

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Speaker 1: it in one of her books, or if it was

404
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Speaker 1: in one of her talks that I watched a video

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Speaker 1: on YouTube of, or if it was in her newsletter.

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Speaker 1: I don't remember where it was from, but I remember

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Speaker 1: I first heard the story from her and it stuck

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Speaker 1: with me. And Amy Brown actually shared this somewhat recently

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Speaker 1: on her podcast for Things with Amy Brown, so it's

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Speaker 1: making its way around the world. But what I'm talking

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Speaker 1: about is the metaphor regarding buffalos, and if you haven't

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Speaker 1: heard of it, Apparently, when Cal's sends a storm is coming,

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Speaker 1: they tend to run away from the storm, and they

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Speaker 1: continue to attempt to outrun the storm, which then results

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Speaker 1: in them running with the storm, which to my knowledge,

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Speaker 1: cows are slow, So it's funny to think that they

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Speaker 1: think that this tactic would be helpful. In reality, what

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Speaker 1: happens is that by doing this they multiply the time

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Speaker 1: and the energy that is being spent by them trying

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Speaker 1: to get away. They actually stay in it longer, and

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Speaker 1: the pain is larger. But that's also human nature. We

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Speaker 1: sense pain and we say, hey, how do I run

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Speaker 1: from this? How do I make this go away? And

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00:24:41,480 --> 00:24:43,880
Speaker 1: our avoidance of our pain and discomfort is the very

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Speaker 1: thing that makes our experience worse. Our attempt to flee

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Speaker 1: is what actually creates deeper wounds. So then there are

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Speaker 1: the buffalo. And apparently what buffalo do is that they

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Speaker 1: wait for the storm to come and then they charge

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Speaker 1: directly into the storm. And by doing that, they run

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Speaker 1: straight through it. They don't run behind it, they don't

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Speaker 1: run beside it, they don't run with it. They run

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Speaker 1: straight through it, which actually minimizes their pain, and it

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Speaker 1: minimizes the time experiencing the pain. They don't turn on happy,

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Speaker 1: upbeat music to drown out the noise of their reality.

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Speaker 1: They listen to the sad song. They listen to it

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Speaker 1: until the lights turned off get turned back on, and

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Speaker 1: then they can share that song with someone else one day,

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Speaker 1: who is in the spot that they were once in,

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Speaker 1: who is sensing the storm, or who is experiencing the storm.

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Speaker 1: And again, I'm not one who thinks that everyone should

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Speaker 1: be broadcasting their intimate, private moments on the internet. If

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Speaker 1: that is what you like to do and it works

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Speaker 1: for you. It works for you, and that is wonderful.

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Speaker 1: I am not advocating for us to all do that.

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Speaker 1: I am not one that generally will do that. But

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Speaker 1: there are so many ways throughout our days and weeks

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Speaker 1: and months that we can let our experiences of pain

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Speaker 1: be a beacon of hope. And my encouragement to those

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Speaker 1: who have seen the storm pass is to remember that

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Speaker 1: a conversation you have with a friend can be the

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Speaker 1: playlist I listened to on repeat for months. And being

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Speaker 1: vulnerable doesn't just offer you the ability to experience love

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Speaker 1: and connection, it opens up space for someone else to

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Speaker 1: experience that too, And if you were the person that's

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Speaker 1: in the storm, my encouragement to you would be to

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Speaker 1: be there, but be there knowing that you don't have

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Speaker 1: to be there alone, and you aren't alone, even if

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Speaker 1: it feels that way. Our experiences are unique to us,

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Speaker 1: and they also are always without a doubt in some

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Speaker 1: way connected to others, and I really want us to

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Speaker 1: remember that. And that is the glaring message that I

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Speaker 1: received after actually realizing the lyrics of the song that

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Speaker 1: I was so drawn to, that we are without a

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Speaker 1: doubt in our joyful moments and especially in our dark

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Speaker 1: moments connected to others in some way. But in order

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Speaker 1: to really really feel that, and to acknowledge that, and

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Speaker 1: to know that, and to gain the hope that comes

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Speaker 1: with that, we have to be willing to share parts

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Speaker 1: of ourselves with people, and we have to be willing

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Speaker 1: to hear people's stories. So, like I said, if you

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Speaker 1: are not in the storm right now, know that your

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Speaker 1: past storms are not in vain. And if you're in

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Speaker 1: the storm, know that there are people all around you

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Speaker 1: who have been where you have been. Maybe not exactly

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00:27:50,960 --> 00:27:55,479
Speaker 1: to a tee, but our feelings are all connected. I

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Speaker 1: hope this was helpful in some way. Like I said

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Speaker 1: at the beginning of the episode, like I say, every week,

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Speaker 1: and if you have any thoughts, comments, feelings, questions, feel

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00:28:04,240 --> 00:28:07,640
Speaker 1: free to send those to me Katherine at younedthapy podcast

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Speaker 1: dot com. Just a reminder that I do a episode

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Speaker 1: each Wednesday where I answer questions that listeners send to me.

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Speaker 1: And if you have a question, you can send that

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Speaker 1: to that email address. Make sure you don't put anything

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Speaker 1: in that email that you wouldn't want me to share

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Speaker 1: on the podcast. I won't read your name. I won't

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Speaker 1: share email address obviously, so we can keep those anonymous.

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Speaker 1: I will be back with you guys on Wednesday for

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Speaker 1: couch talks, and until then, I hope you guys are

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Speaker 1: having the day you need to have