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Speaker 1: Buggle up and hold on time. We got it for you. Here.

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Speaker 1: It is the strawberry letter object he had me fooled.

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Speaker 1: Dear Stephen Shirley, I have been dating a guy for

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Speaker 1: a year and he treats me really nice. We live

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Speaker 1: in a neighbor We live in neighboring states, but we're

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Speaker 1: less than an hour apart, so I wouldn't consider it

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Speaker 1: a long distance relationship. We see each other a few

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Speaker 1: times a week, and either I'm at his house or

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Speaker 1: he's at mine on the weekend. I assumed we were

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Speaker 1: in an exclusive, admitted relationship until recently. The other day,

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Speaker 1: he was trying to show me a picture on his

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Speaker 1: phone and he mistakenly pulled up a picture of another woman.

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Speaker 1: He tried to quickly swipe pass picture. Every man, he

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Speaker 1: just did it. He tried quickly slipe pass the picture,

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Speaker 1: but he knew I had seen it. I didn't make

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Speaker 1: a fuss about the picture. I asked him to delete it,

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Speaker 1: and he did. But seeing the woman's picture on his

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Speaker 1: phone made me wonder about the nature of our relationship,

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Speaker 1: so I asked him if we were exclusive. His response

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Speaker 1: broke my heart. He stated that before he met me,

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Speaker 1: he was in a very serious relationship and had had

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Speaker 1: a bad break up. He said he was not ready

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Speaker 1: to be in another relationship right now. Can you believe

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Speaker 1: that I have met this man's entire family and we

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Speaker 1: all get along great. He had me fooled. I will

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Speaker 1: admit that I'm not ready to be married right now,

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Speaker 1: but I still want to date with a purpose and

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Speaker 1: not just be wasting time on this man. So is

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Speaker 1: the committed relationship title just to play on words. I

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Speaker 1: don't want to stop seeing this man. But I did

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Speaker 1: hear him loud and clear when he said he's not ready.

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Speaker 1: What should I do? Well? What should you do? What

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Speaker 1: do you want? I mean, really, what do you want

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Speaker 1: in this relationship or out of this relationship? You said

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Speaker 1: you don't want to get married right now. You said

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Speaker 1: you do want to date with a purpose. So if

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Speaker 1: that's what you want, you gotta let him know that.

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Speaker 1: But he's already told you, and you said you heard

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Speaker 1: him loudly and clearly that he's not ready to be

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Speaker 1: in a committed relationship. So you have to make the decision.

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Speaker 1: This is entirely up to you. You've been dating this

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Speaker 1: man for a whole year. Now again, what do you want?

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Speaker 1: If you don't want it to continue like this, you

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Speaker 1: have choices. You can either get out of the relationship

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Speaker 1: or you can just change some things in the way

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Speaker 1: you deal with him. If you're thinking it's a committed

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Speaker 1: relationship and it's not, uh, maybe you should start seeing

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Speaker 1: other people, or you know, or something like that. Maybe

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Speaker 1: you should really do what you want to do, but

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Speaker 1: first you need to find out what that is. You

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Speaker 1: say you don't want to be married, but you do

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Speaker 1: want to date with a purpose. He's not ready to

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Speaker 1: do either of those things. So maybe he's just not

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Speaker 1: the guy for you at this time. Steve, I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I kind of see this a little bit differently here.

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Speaker 1: I have a different take because from the male perspective,

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Speaker 1: I can really kind of understand what this dude is saying. Um,

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Speaker 1: let's go over the letter a little bit here. Uh,

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Speaker 1: I've been dating this man for about a year. He's

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Speaker 1: really nice. We live in neighboring states, so you don't

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Speaker 1: consider long this relationship. You're at his house several times

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Speaker 1: a weekend. He's at your house several times a weekend.

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Speaker 1: You in mind he's a mine on the weekends. Here

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Speaker 1: we go. I assumed we were in an exclusive, committed

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Speaker 1: relationship until recently the other day. Now, let's go over

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Speaker 1: this assume. What did they tell you all the time

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Speaker 1: about assuming? Assuming usually makes an ass out of you

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Speaker 1: and me. That's what assumed is. Now what has happened

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Speaker 1: is you've assumed. You spent a year. You could have

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Speaker 1: verbally got this clip. You could have this conversation a

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Speaker 1: long time ago. You never bought it up, you assumed.

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Speaker 1: And till the other day. He was trying to show

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Speaker 1: me a picture on his phone and he mistakenly pulled

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Speaker 1: a each other another woman. God when he when as

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Speaker 1: soon as his thumb hit that you felt for him.

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Speaker 1: He blinked. He took a heavy blink. He was trying

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Speaker 1: to swipe. He swiped has but his thumb was shaking.

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Speaker 1: She saw it. After she saw the picture, and he

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Speaker 1: knew you saw it. You didn't make a fuss about it, Okay,

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Speaker 1: the ture woman. I asked him to delete it, and

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Speaker 1: he did, no problem, Okay, I'm out. Yeah, let me

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Speaker 1: take that out because if that picture could have been

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Speaker 1: a year old, you never know, You just don't know.

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Speaker 1: So he deleted the picture. But it made me wonder

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Speaker 1: about the nature of our relationship. So I asked him

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Speaker 1: if we were exclusive. His risk response broke my heart.

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Speaker 1: He stated that before he met me, he was in

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Speaker 1: a very serious relationship and had a bad break up. Now,

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Speaker 1: let me ask you something you didn't You didn't know

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Speaker 1: that a year. You didn't know that he was in

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Speaker 1: a serious relationship and he had a bad breakup a

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Speaker 1: year and this response startled you. A year of assuming

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Speaker 1: you were exclusive, you didn't bring that up. Now he

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Speaker 1: tells you for the first time, he was in a

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Speaker 1: serious relationship, had a bad break up a year before.

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Speaker 1: You didn't met his family. I got all that, YadA,

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Speaker 1: YadA YadA. That's good, but damn, this is really kinda

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Speaker 1: on you too. Now he said he was not ready

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Speaker 1: to be in another relationship right now, serious, full blown,

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Speaker 1: committed relationship. Then you try to fix it. Then you go,

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Speaker 1: can you believe that? Yeah, you believe, you believe. The

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Speaker 1: problem is, why are you having a hard time believing?

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Speaker 1: But if you had heard this information a year ago,

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Speaker 1: nine months ago, maybe you would have made some other decisions.

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Speaker 1: I met this man is in toime family. We get

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Speaker 1: along grade. He had me food. He didn't fool you.

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Speaker 1: This man ain't fooled you at all. This man ain't

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Speaker 1: lied to you, This man ain't deceived you. He didn't

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Speaker 1: fool you. You are assumed. Then after a year, you

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Speaker 1: asked him what you exclusive. He said he was in

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Speaker 1: a bad relationship a man, lady. He didn't fool you.

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Speaker 1: Stop saying this about him. You trick yourself. I'll tell

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Speaker 1: you why right after this. Trick yourself, all right, trick

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Speaker 1: all right, all right, Steve, come on, let's get to

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Speaker 1: part two of your spoons to Today's Strawberry Letters. Subject

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Speaker 1: he had me fooled? Well, he didn't have you fool

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Speaker 1: You've been dating this man for a year. Treat you

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Speaker 1: really nice. You live in neighboring states, no more than

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Speaker 1: an hour part, so it's really not long dis relationship.

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Speaker 1: You need that his house and he at yours on

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Speaker 1: the weekends, all doing the week I assumed we were

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Speaker 1: an exclusive, committed relationship. I told you about assuming. You

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Speaker 1: should not have assumed. He's trying to show you a

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Speaker 1: picture on his phone, and he mistakenly pulled up a

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Speaker 1: picture of another woman. God father, God, I passed out

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Speaker 1: for a minute. Really really yeah, I'm trying to jump

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Speaker 1: off feeling for him. You should have dropped that phone

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Speaker 1: down a sewer, alright, So he tried to quickly swipe

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Speaker 1: past the picture, but he knew I had seen it.

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Speaker 1: I ain't making fuss about the peach. I asked him

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Speaker 1: to delete it, and he did. But seeing the woman's

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Speaker 1: pitching his phone, it kind of made you wonder. So

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Speaker 1: I asked him, were we exclusive after a year? A year?

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Speaker 1: His response broke a heart. He stated that before he

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Speaker 1: met me he was in a very serious relationship and

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Speaker 1: had a bad break up. How y'all just talking about

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Speaker 1: this after year? He said he was not ready for

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Speaker 1: another relationship right now? How y'all just talking about this

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Speaker 1: after year? Then you ask me, can you believe that? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: if you ain't never talked about it, don't assume nothing

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Speaker 1: about a minute. You have every right to want to

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Speaker 1: know where your life is going, ladies, and I have

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Speaker 1: told you this over and over and over. You have

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Speaker 1: the right to ask a man what is going on here?

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Speaker 1: He will tell you. Now he told you, and yes,

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Speaker 1: I can't believe that, but you can't believe it because

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Speaker 1: you assume something else. So now I have met this

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Speaker 1: man's in time family. We all get along great. That

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Speaker 1: means he has about you, he'd have took you to

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Speaker 1: meet his family. He had me fooled. No, he didn't.

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Speaker 1: You fooled yourself because all you you would have had

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Speaker 1: this conversation that you had just now. You could have

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Speaker 1: had this conversation eleven months ago, ten months ago, you

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Speaker 1: could have easily had that. Now here here, go to park.

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Speaker 1: I will admit that I'm not ready to be married

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Speaker 1: right now. Okay, cool, So what you're tripping for? He

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Speaker 1: ain't ready, You ain't ready, But y'all having a good

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Speaker 1: time going and continue the relationship. He's not ready and

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Speaker 1: you're not ready. So now that you've been through that,

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Speaker 1: bone to the dog. But she wants to date with purpose.

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Speaker 1: Don't forget that. I'm gonna get to that. But I

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Speaker 1: still want to date with a purpose and not just

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Speaker 1: be wasting time on this man. Y'all are dating with

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Speaker 1: a purpose. You all have found each other. Neither one

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Speaker 1: of you are ready to be in a You don't

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Speaker 1: want to be married, he ain't ready to be in

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Speaker 1: the no serious relationship. But y'all in something? Ain't you

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Speaker 1: getting something out of it? And he getting something out

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Speaker 1: of it? Y'all in something? What y'all need to do

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Speaker 1: is sit down and define what it is you in

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Speaker 1: because you're in it now, you've been in it for

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Speaker 1: a year. You in something. It's just y'all ain't got

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Speaker 1: no time. You ain't his fiance. You're too old to

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Speaker 1: be a girl friend, but right now you're his girlfriend.

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Speaker 1: You're his girl and y'all friends, and you have met

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Speaker 1: his family. You too old be somebody damn girlfriend. So

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Speaker 1: you want to date with a purpose. He dating with

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Speaker 1: a purpose. He's getting what he wants. You're dating with

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Speaker 1: a purpose. You're getting what you want. It's just you assumed,

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Speaker 1: you assumed you want had more, but you just said

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Speaker 1: you ain't even ready for it. You said it, but

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Speaker 1: I still want to date with the person. Not so

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Speaker 1: it is the committed in quotation. The committed relationship title

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Speaker 1: just a play on words. You never had this conversation

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Speaker 1: with the man until now. Committed relationship. He didn't say

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Speaker 1: he didn't want to be in a committed relationship. He

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Speaker 1: said he didn't want to be in a serious relationship.

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Speaker 1: That has a difference. You could be committed to somebody

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Speaker 1: and not be serious. Hello, what preach on it. I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna just tell you you could be in a committed

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Speaker 1: relationship and not be sick thing. I don't want to

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Speaker 1: stop seeing this man, but I do. Hear him loud

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Speaker 1: and clear when he said he's not ready, But you

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Speaker 1: said you wasn't ready. That somebody lying, somebody lying in

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Speaker 1: this letter. He's not ready. You're not ready. Why don't

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Speaker 1: y'all make it work, define your relationship, find out what

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Speaker 1: it is, and see if it will ever lead to anything,

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Speaker 1: what you could possibly do. But then guess what, Since

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Speaker 1: you heard him loud and clear, he may not be

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Speaker 1: ready for a serious relationship for a long time. Hello,

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Speaker 1: and let me explain something else to you. Deleting the

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Speaker 1: picture don't mean she gonna come out. I don't. I don't, don't.

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Speaker 1: Don't tell you boom stop. Somebody listened to me, just

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Speaker 1: caused the picture got deleted. Don't mean she gonne. Sometime

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Speaker 1: in the mind memory lingles. Sometimes you shake it, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: shake it. I don't. I don't. I don't want to quiet. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you gotta have a stick. I just told you. I

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Speaker 1: don't want to say you're gonna get your black ass,

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Speaker 1: put out your check pastor for just a second, I'll

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Speaker 1: go back to what I say. Come on, please, let

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Speaker 1: me sometime even without the picture. Yeah, there's a movie

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Speaker 1: playing in your mind. Movie sometime. Yeah, trying to start nothing,

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Speaker 1: trying to get some clarity. Yeah on what we have.

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Speaker 1: I spent the whole damn break telling the quad didn't

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Speaker 1: need him. Now we out of time. Yes, Steve, you

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Speaker 1: are still right. We gotta get out of here. I

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Speaker 1: beat damn. We gotta go email us or Instagram. That's

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Speaker 1: your thoughts at my girls shurely on today's Strawberry Letter,

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Speaker 1: and don't forget to make sure you join me to

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Speaker 1: day at one thirty pm Eastern Time for the Strawberry

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Speaker 1: Letter Live after show on Facebook Live. Okay, thank you

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Speaker 1: for that. You're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning showm