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Speaker 1: Hi. This is Laura Vandercam. I'm a mother of four,

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Speaker 1: an author, journalist, and speaker. And this is Sarah Hart Hunger.

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Speaker 1: I'm a mother of three, practicing position and blogger. On

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Speaker 1: the side, we are two working parents who love our

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Speaker 1: careers and our families. Welcome to best of both worlds.

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Speaker 1: Here we talk about how real women manage work, family,

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Speaker 1: and time for fun, from figuring out childcare to mapping

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Speaker 1: out long term career goals. We want you to get

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Speaker 1: the most out of life. Welcome to best of both worlds.

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Speaker 1: This is Laura. This is episode fifty nine, first airing

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Speaker 1: in mid September. We're very excited to have Jessica Turner

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Speaker 1: on the podcast today. Jessica Turner is the author of

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Speaker 1: Stretch to Thin, a new book about how working parents

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Speaker 1: and particularly working moms, can ditch the guilt and feel

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Speaker 1: better about life, really celebrate life in all its farms.

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Speaker 1: But we're all about here on the best of both worlds,

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Speaker 1: so very excited about that. As we're recording this, Sarah

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Speaker 1: recently did a post about marking down the days of

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Speaker 1: how long she was pumping. I did make a little

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Speaker 1: get an update on the whole nursing situation that has

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Speaker 1: been like a major theme on this podcast. I'm not

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Speaker 1: sure I meant for it to be, but it. You know,

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Speaker 1: it is something common to many of us that we

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Speaker 1: go through, especially as working parents. Working mothers in particular,

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Speaker 1: don't think the fathers really deal with this anyway. So

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Speaker 1: you all know that I was very conflicted, like how

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Speaker 1: long am I going to pump? And I was struggling,

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Speaker 1: And I have now kind of decided and I feel

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Speaker 1: good like having a decision made that I'm going to

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Speaker 1: pump basically until she's won until December first, she turns

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Speaker 1: one of December eleventh, but somehow December first feels more

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Speaker 1: doable the lot. Yeah, And I don't know, I'm like

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Speaker 1: at peace with that. And I actually made this piece

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Speaker 1: of paper where I wrote down, like how many work

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Speaker 1: days I have until that time, and I also put

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Speaker 1: little dots on the days that I have like patients

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Speaker 1: the entire day, because those are definitely the most challenging.

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Speaker 1: And it doesn't look that bad, Like it reminds me,

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Speaker 1: honestly of like a little like marathon training program. So

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Speaker 1: if I can do that, and I've done that, this

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Speaker 1: is no worse than that. So it will be really

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Speaker 1: wonderful to regain my freedom at that point. It's a

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Speaker 1: decision I'll feel at peace with. I mean, the truth is,

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Speaker 1: I've been enjoying those I work four days a week

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Speaker 1: and I really enjoy the other three days that I

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Speaker 1: can just reastfeed her. And being able to continue that

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Speaker 1: until December is great. And I know some people are

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Speaker 1: able to do that without pumping, but I just don't

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Speaker 1: know that I can. And I just feel like I

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Speaker 1: can stuck it up for three more months and then

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Speaker 1: be done. But you're planning you're not gonna wean her.

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Speaker 1: Then you're planning on doing still, like, we'll just see

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Speaker 1: how that happens. Yeah, we'll see how that happens. More organically,

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Speaker 1: I'm definitely not going to just cut her off. We

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Speaker 1: are planning like a trip. I want to see Casey

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Speaker 1: Musgraves and concert in Nashville with Josh at the end

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Speaker 1: of February. So we're definitely doing that. And my thought

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Speaker 1: is we'll probably make it like a three day weekend

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Speaker 1: or so, and that may be like a natural ending point.

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Speaker 1: Maybe I tried that sort of sneaky weaning, you know,

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Speaker 1: go away and see what happens not had it work

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Speaker 1: really Like you came back and they were like, nope,

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Speaker 1: still still on it. Got still on it, and you

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Speaker 1: still had it. He's still So I'm went south by

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Speaker 1: Southwest when Alex was fourteen months old, and I thought

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Speaker 1: that would be a good time to wean him. And

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Speaker 1: by that point, you know, he's eating normal food, like

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Speaker 1: he's he's only nursing like occasionally, right, Like it's not

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Speaker 1: you know, around the clock everything, right, It's not nutrition,

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Speaker 1: it's more like comfort and comfort and that sort of thing.

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Speaker 1: So I didn't bring the pump with me. I was

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Speaker 1: gone for five days. I did not bring the pump

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Speaker 1: with me. I was you know, expressing enough like in

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Speaker 1: the in the showers. I just didn't feel comfortable, right

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Speaker 1: basically is what I was doing. And don't put too

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Speaker 1: much information there, but anyway, so I come home and

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Speaker 1: like I sit down on the chair where I had

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Speaker 1: off and like fed him and he like walks over it,

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Speaker 1: crawls on my lap, you know, picks up my shirt

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Speaker 1: it's under there like well, you know, once they're taddlers,

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Speaker 1: they can kind of do it themselves or walking over

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Speaker 1: there and good and so did you keep nursing him

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Speaker 1: after that, Yeah, I know I did for a bit. Eventually,

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Speaker 1: that's funny. We stopped. But sometimes the kids have their

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Speaker 1: own thoughts about whether they wish to be weaned or

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Speaker 1: don't wish to be weaned. Well, that's okay with me.

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Speaker 1: If I have the freedom, I guess at that point

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Speaker 1: I will no longer plan my life around it. You

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Speaker 1: know what, I don't care. I it actually doesn't really

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Speaker 1: bother me, the idea that she might walk up to me,

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Speaker 1: and like, I mean, it might after a certain point.

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Speaker 1: But what does bother me is like, oh, I have

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Speaker 1: to plan our date nights around like when I have

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Speaker 1: to pump, and oh I have a late work meeting

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Speaker 1: and you know that's gonna annoying. I'm going to have

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Speaker 1: to pump an extra time, et cetera. Like That's what

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Speaker 1: I'm ready to be done with. And I think once

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Speaker 1: I'm through that, however the rest of it falls, I'm

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Speaker 1: fine with whether she wins herself in a month or

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Speaker 1: a week, fine, or if it lasts another year, but

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Speaker 1: I can still go away that's fine too, whatever, because

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Speaker 1: that's you know, I'd heard some people say to me,

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Speaker 1: like the one issue if you're if you don't wean

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Speaker 1: oh gosh, what like at some point the one to

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Speaker 1: two part, I mean a they're toddlers, so they become

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Speaker 1: very stubborn toddlers. So they might choose to just keep

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Speaker 1: going quite long at that point, which could be fine,

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Speaker 1: but it's something you should you be prepared for that

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Speaker 1: when you go past like eighteen months, you may be

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Speaker 1: going past two. Oh wow, and so forth. Now my

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Speaker 1: longest I mean my first one thirteen months. Yeah. I

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Speaker 1: don't really remember how it ended. I think she was

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Speaker 1: just like, eh, I'm done, You're done. Yeah, there's still

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Speaker 1: they're early toddler phase where it's less of an issue

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Speaker 1: than once they really truly developed their own strong beliefs

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Speaker 1: about things. And then you're you're dealing with a person

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Speaker 1: you have to negotiate with in a way that an

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Speaker 1: infant is more. Oh my gosh. So this may be

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Speaker 1: a recurrent theme on the podcast. We'll revisit when when

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Speaker 1: she's eighteen months. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, So I was just

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Speaker 1: gonna share one. What's your update? One? And speaking of trips,

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Speaker 1: we have planned a Disney trip. Uh, this is not

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Speaker 1: the first, but how long has it been? It's well,

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Speaker 1: it'll have been two and a half years since the

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Speaker 1: last one, which that's about I would be okay with

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Speaker 1: being like every ten years, but there are other people

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Speaker 1: in my family who lobby for it a bit more frequently.

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Speaker 1: And so in this winter we're gonna go down there.

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Speaker 1: And here's the thing, because we are planning this far

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Speaker 1: and off ahead, we used a Disney travel agent. Her

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Speaker 1: name is Jamie White. If anyone wants to look her up,

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Speaker 1: she's great. And so they put in our dining reservations

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Speaker 1: exactly one hundred eighty days before when it opens for

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Speaker 1: availability for making that so we now and you can

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Speaker 1: also do that yourself, by the way, but you can

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Speaker 1: tell me to do that yourself. I just didn't have

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Speaker 1: the patience to sit there and like hit Cinderella's Castle

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Speaker 1: availability availability over and over again or whatever. I mean.

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Speaker 1: They have, they have ways, they're programs. But you know,

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Speaker 1: so we have Cinderella's table booked. We have Aqua huish.

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Speaker 1: I'm jealous because we've never been able to book that,

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Speaker 1: you know, all six of us in there. And we

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Speaker 1: have what is it, the Tusker House at Animal Kingdom,

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Speaker 1: and that, in my opinion best food. Well I've done

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Speaker 1: Boma mostly, but it's the same food, Like they should

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Speaker 1: have the same kitchen. I think it's just one is

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Speaker 1: more buffet and one is like more sit down. But

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Speaker 1: that's like have you been there, it's like really good food. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: we went there on our last trip there. I think

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Speaker 1: we managed to get a reservation there as well. And

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Speaker 1: we've stayed in Animal Kingdom Lodge several times and once

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Speaker 1: when we went we actually got the suite, which is

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Speaker 1: really cool, like they have a but not many of them.

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Speaker 1: It was these suites where you have a bunk bed

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Speaker 1: and another bed and then another room with the like

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Speaker 1: queen's size bed in it. So that's awesome. Yeah, so

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Speaker 1: we had, you know, room for all of us to

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Speaker 1: spread out and it was great, but we did not

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Speaker 1: have that this time. But we're staying somewhere you can

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Speaker 1: see Magic Kingdom. We're in a suite again. I think

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Speaker 1: we both see the fireworks, we'll say. But so, yeah,

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Speaker 1: we're also working on our fat passes, which Disney has

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Speaker 1: just changed the system where they tiered They tiered the

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Speaker 1: rides at the different parks, so now you can only

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Speaker 1: get like one pass from the top tier and all

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Speaker 1: of them. Oh you know, what because, yeah, I know

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Speaker 1: what you're talking about. They did that with EPCOP when

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Speaker 1: I was there, but they hadn't done it yet with

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Speaker 1: the others. But I guess now they because people who

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Speaker 1: would put in the fast passes exactly sixty days before

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Speaker 1: or whenever it is you could get would always be

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Speaker 1: like we're getting soaring test track and frozen ever after

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Speaker 1: and like they get those would completely book up and

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Speaker 1: nobody else could do them. So now you can only

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Speaker 1: choose one of them to get a fast pass for,

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Speaker 1: and you know, obviously you're welcome to wait in line

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Speaker 1: for the other two, but you're gonna be waiting line,

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Speaker 1: so we're This caused a little bit of consternation because

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Speaker 1: my eleven year old had planned our whole fast pass

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Speaker 1: you know, ideas of what we wanted, what we were

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Speaker 1: going to put in for, and then we, uh, that's

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Speaker 1: hard for an eleven year old. I know, I've spent

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Speaker 1: time bring it out too. I was such a bad

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Speaker 1: person when I like printed up this new fast pass

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Speaker 1: attractions list and said, sorry, kid, you know Disney changed

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Speaker 1: the rules. You've gotta he was. He was like getting

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Speaker 1: that at me. I like, okay, here's we got to

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Speaker 1: understand this. I am not the Disney Corporation, like, I

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Speaker 1: have nothing to do with this, so but you know,

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Speaker 1: it is what it is, and we will make it work.

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Speaker 1: It's really only two of the parks that it matters

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Speaker 1: for because the others we had already you know, chosen

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Speaker 1: the way we had chosen them would have fit within

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Speaker 1: the new rules that we wish to go on. Oh

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Speaker 1: that's great, because we're not for this. We're not that

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Speaker 1: big on the roller coasters like we're you know, it

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Speaker 1: doesn't matter as much for us for those. Really your

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Speaker 1: kids aren't, yeah one one like, but you know, we

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Speaker 1: we do. Disney is not a big roller coaster place,

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Speaker 1: like if you're inter that's true. There's so much else

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Speaker 1: to do. Yeah, there are a lot of other parks

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Speaker 1: that have far more you know, scary, big cool, high

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Speaker 1: tech roller coasters to to go to. So even the

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Speaker 1: ones at Disney are like too much for me. Though,

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Speaker 1: I would not go to Disney if you are a

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Speaker 1: roller coaster shonado looking for something. I mean, they really

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Speaker 1: only have two that are good, like the Rock and

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Speaker 1: roller coasters with Aerosmith and the Expedition Everest, And of

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Speaker 1: these only only the Rock and roller coaster is the

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Speaker 1: only one that goes upside down. So if if you

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Speaker 1: don't think it's a real roller coaster, if there's no loops,

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Speaker 1: like that's your only Disney opportunity. Thanks, I got Laura,

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Speaker 1: I get stick on like a big thunder mountain. So like, really, well,

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Speaker 1: Disney's great, good good, He's perfect. And you know what

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Speaker 1: I like about Disney is when you keep going every

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Speaker 1: two to three years, I actually enjoy that familiarity of it,

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Speaker 1: Like I don't know, you kind of remember, Oh, we

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Speaker 1: were here when they were like a couple of years younger,

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Speaker 1: and now we're seeing like it becomes a little bit

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Speaker 1: of like a tradition aspect, and I guess, you know,

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Speaker 1: we live pretty close. It's not so I think you're

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Speaker 1: gonna have a great time. And I think it's gonna

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Speaker 1: be fun. Even though you say you would rather go

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Speaker 1: every decade, it's gonna be fun for you to have

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Speaker 1: those recurrent Although we talked about this in the last episode,

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Speaker 1: and we also had a Disney Disney mentioned in there

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Speaker 1: of your your trip when when Cameron was fourteen months old. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I mean you don't have any fourteen months old. You

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Speaker 1: have a three year old. That's true, he had to

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Speaker 1: at least three. He will be four when this happened. Oh,

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Speaker 1: you know, they're perfect, you're good. But we went for

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Speaker 1: the first time, my first time and the kids first

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Speaker 1: time when uh I had a four year old, two

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Speaker 1: year old and six month old. Oh no, no, but

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Speaker 1: it was actually fine. I mean the six month old,

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Speaker 1: as you're saying, when you've got an infant, So she

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Speaker 1: just stayed in the ergo the whole time, right, occasionally

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Speaker 1: being pulled out two feed I was more think of

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Speaker 1: the two year old, you know. I guess maybe just

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Speaker 1: because there were only two mobile children and we had

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Speaker 1: two adults, it just didn't seem that bad. Maybe your

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Speaker 1: two year old's just better than money. Well, I think

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Speaker 1: our current youngest would have been, you know, a lot

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Speaker 1: less challenging with this. But we were walking around with

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Speaker 1: you know, the double stroller, like the double deck or stroller,

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Speaker 1: the ergo, I had the baby on my chest. We

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Speaker 1: kept having people come up to us and be like, oh,

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Speaker 1: my kids are forty eight, forty seven, and forty five now,

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Speaker 1: but they used to be that just you know, sort

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Speaker 1: of like everyone's in this together, good memories. So yeah,

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Speaker 1: we're looking forward to that. Well, we're very excited to

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Speaker 1: welcome Jessica Turner to the program. I've been following Jessica

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Speaker 1: for many years. I love the mom Creative blog. I've

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Speaker 1: been reading her books as well. So Jessica, welcome. Thank

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Speaker 1: you so much for having me. And you know, Laura,

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Speaker 1: I'm a huge fan of your work. I esteem you

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Speaker 1: to the highest level, and so I'm delighted. I'm a

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Speaker 1: little nervous to be here today. Not be nervous at all, whatsoever.

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Speaker 1: We are really excited to have you. So why don't

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Speaker 1: you go ahead and tell our listeners all about your

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Speaker 1: various projects, work, family, all that good stuff. Okay. So

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Speaker 1: I live in Nashville, Tennessee, with my husband, Matthew, who

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Speaker 1: is a full time writer he writes children's books, and

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Speaker 1: our three kids, who are ten, seven, and three and

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Speaker 1: a half. I work full time outside the home in

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Speaker 1: corporate marketing in healthcare. Nashville is sort of the healthcare

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Speaker 1: epicenter of the country. So I work in healthcare at

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Speaker 1: a major health system doing social media and content strategy,

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Speaker 1: and then on the side, I'm one of those full

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Speaker 1: time workers who has a side hustle. I have my

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Speaker 1: blog called The Mum Creative, which I have been at

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Speaker 1: since two thousand and six. So I'm sort of a

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Speaker 1: grammar in the blogging world and that has evolved to

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Speaker 1: me speaking around the country and writing books. So it

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Speaker 1: is a full, busy life and I love everything that

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Speaker 1: is awesome. Oh well, and I'm excited to hear that

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Speaker 1: you're in that kind of world at a big health

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Speaker 1: system because that's a side of things that I don't

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Speaker 1: think of all that often. But I do work for

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Speaker 1: a larger health system and actually have had a little

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Speaker 1: bit more intersection with that team. I was actually on

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Speaker 1: the podcast for our hospital recently, which was a fun overlap.

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Speaker 1: So cool. You get to do so kind of both,

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Speaker 1: So you're sort of doing a professional version and a

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Speaker 1: personal version of some of the same skill set. Is

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Speaker 1: that Yeah, that is very very true. Certainly, it's different

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Speaker 1: the types of brands that I'm working with on The

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Speaker 1: mom Creative than in healthcare, but it's a lot of

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Speaker 1: the same skills and it's really fun. I work at

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Speaker 1: Vanderbilt Health, which folks are probably familiar with, and so

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Speaker 1: we have a children's hospital and an adult hospital, and

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Speaker 1: we're partnered with Ryan Seacrest Foundation have a seacrest studios

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Speaker 1: at our children's hospital, so there's lots of fun things

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Speaker 1: for social media that parlay with that. And I interview

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Speaker 1: doctors to our Facebook lives all the time, So if

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Speaker 1: you were at Vanderbilt, I'd probably be interviewing you awesome

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Speaker 1: podcast too. Yeah, exactly, I'm so curious about how I mean,

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Speaker 1: because interestingly, I've I'm also a blog Grandma. I began

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Speaker 1: in two thousand and four, so I actually beat you

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Speaker 1: by sure, and yeah, no one was doing it back then,

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Speaker 1: but unlike you, Yeah, my monetization strategy has been not

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Speaker 1: so so targeted and not so not so healthy, which

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Speaker 1: has been fine. I do it sort of for the

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Speaker 1: love of it. But did you always set out as

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Speaker 1: doing it as a side hustle. Was that something that

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Speaker 1: happened more organically, because you've done an amazing job at

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Speaker 1: turning your hobbies into kind of a whole second thing. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: my hobbies have evolved into businesses, which means that I've

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Speaker 1: had to get different hobbies right, because when you start

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Speaker 1: getting paid to do what you love, you start loving

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Speaker 1: them in a different way. So that's been interesting for me. No,

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Speaker 1: in two thousand and six, I actually started my blog

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Speaker 1: because I was really interested in scrap looking. There is

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Speaker 1: a whole community of scrap wlickers, and in two thousand

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Speaker 1: and six it was even larger than it is today,

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Speaker 1: I think. And so I started doing that just to

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Speaker 1: share the creative pursuits that I was endeavoring on and

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Speaker 1: wanting to share those with a larger audience. And my

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Speaker 1: husband and I lived in Nashville and our families were

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Speaker 1: all out of town, so we thought it would be,

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Speaker 1: you know, just kind of fun for me to be

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Speaker 1: sharing online what we were doing. And then in two

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Speaker 1: thousand and seven, I got pregnant with our oldest and

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Speaker 1: that was sort of the cusp of the beginning of

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Speaker 1: the mommy blogging movement, and I started having brands reaching

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Speaker 1: out to me, and I thought, oh, this is fun.

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Speaker 1: I can get a diaper bag if I blog about it,

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Speaker 1: you know. And then two thousand and eight, two thousand

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Speaker 1: and nine is when I really started learning about affiliate

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Speaker 1: marketing and monetizing. You know, instead of sharing a deal

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Speaker 1: and not having an affiliate link on there, I could

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Speaker 1: share the same deal and have an affiliate link and

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Speaker 1: make a commission. And so that's when I really sort

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Speaker 1: of pivoted and started looking at my blog as a

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Speaker 1: business because by that point it was taking a lot

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Speaker 1: of time, and with having a full time job and

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Speaker 1: investing in the blog, it was important to me that

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Speaker 1: if I was taking time away from my family, that

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Speaker 1: it was helping our family with our bottom line and

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Speaker 1: generating an income. Yeah, and has that growth been pretty

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Speaker 1: steady or were there any sort of breakthrough moments that

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Speaker 1: brought you your blog and that side business onto a

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Speaker 1: larger screen. You know, in two thousand and eight, when

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Speaker 1: I was pregnant, my friend Angie was pregnant at the

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Speaker 1: same time, and her blog went viral. Unfortunately, her daughter,

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Speaker 1: she was pregnant with, a little girl named Audrey, was

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Speaker 1: diagnosed with several disabilities and was incompatible with life, and

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Speaker 1: they said she would not live. They recommended that she

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Speaker 1: terminate the pregnancy, and she decided to carry Audrey, and

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Speaker 1: so her blog exploded, and I was who encouraged her

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Speaker 1: to blog, and she linked to me on there, and

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Speaker 1: so I acquired a lot of her readers, and so

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Speaker 1: that really took me to another level at that time.

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Speaker 1: But really it was just study investment, investing in social media,

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Speaker 1: going to blogging conferences, and networking, continuing to work with brands.

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Speaker 1: It's interesting my traffic isn't nearly as big as what

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Speaker 1: it was eight years ago, ten years ago, but my

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Speaker 1: revenue is so much higher than it was, And so

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Speaker 1: I think that just demonstrates being smarter and realizing that

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Speaker 1: you have to continually pivot when you are working online

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Speaker 1: because the way people consume the meetia yea is different,

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Speaker 1: the way we read, how often we're reading is different,

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Speaker 1: and so I'm just having to do things a little

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Speaker 1: different to still be successful in this space. Yeah, I

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Speaker 1: totally see that. I mean, as different platforms have come out,

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Speaker 1: I know you've done a lot with Instagram, for instance,

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Speaker 1: which seems like a medium that is that is made

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Speaker 1: for you, but it's also you know, different than what

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Speaker 1: was there in two thousand and seven, or you know,

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Speaker 1: blogging has evolved. I can totally see that. I mean,

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Speaker 1: one of the reasons I wanted to do a podcast

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Speaker 1: is because I can tell, like, you know, a lot

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Speaker 1: of people don't want to sit down and read a

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Speaker 1: blog post. I mean, they don't want to sit down

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Speaker 1: and read a book either, But it's one way to like,

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Speaker 1: you know, stay engaged with people who are not kind

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Speaker 1: of reading stuff online so much they want to listen

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Speaker 1: to stuff more. So it does seem to be constantly evolving.

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Speaker 1: So I guess a lot of our listeners are probably

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Speaker 1: really curious on when you do this side hustle stuff, because,

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Speaker 1: as you said, you have a normal job, and I

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Speaker 1: know a lot of the kind of big name mommy blo,

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Speaker 1: the instagram starts, a lot of them do not have

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Speaker 1: sort of full time out of the house jobs and

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Speaker 1: you do, So where does this fit into your life? Right? Well,

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Speaker 1: so you know, you make time for what's important to you.

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Speaker 1: So whether that is your side hustle or it's creative

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Speaker 1: projects my site them I'm creative. I write a lot

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Speaker 1: about parties that I do that I do a lot

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Speaker 1: of crafting around and with it being fall, Halloween's coming up,

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Speaker 1: and Halloween is a big time for our family and

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Speaker 1: we go all out for our costumes, and I think

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Speaker 1: with all of that, it's making time for what's important

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Speaker 1: to you. So with the blog and the business, I

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Speaker 1: carve out time to write. It's part of our weekend

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Speaker 1: schedule is I usually take maybe three four hours on

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Speaker 1: the weekend, usually on a morning, to go and write

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Speaker 1: and get some work done. It's interesting. A lot of

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Speaker 1: my photography I do at seven am before I leave.

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Speaker 1: As soon as that sunlight's hits I I'm usually on

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Speaker 1: our deck doing flat lays and that sort of thing.

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Speaker 1: I also have a pretty strong editorial calendar, so I

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Speaker 1: know what's coming for the next few weeks, so I

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Speaker 1: can do bulk photography all at once. I do have

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Speaker 1: a virtual assistant who helps me. Every month, I write

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Speaker 1: a post of what I've read for the past month,

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Speaker 1: and I just put the book titles in there and

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Speaker 1: write about it. But then she sets up the post

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Speaker 1: for me using a plug in that makes it really

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Speaker 1: easy for people to shop from those books, and so

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Speaker 1: that saves me some time. And you know what, I

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Speaker 1: give myself a lot of grace that sometimes a post

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Speaker 1: that I think is going to go up, I keep

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Speaker 1: moving on that editorial calendar back back back until like

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Speaker 1: actually can get it finished. That's the funny thing about

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Speaker 1: an editorial calendar, right, if only you know about it,

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Speaker 1: it can just be a guideline. Yes, absolutely, I use

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Speaker 1: a plug in. I use WordPress, and I use a

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Speaker 1: plugin called word Press Editorial Calendar, which I love because

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Speaker 1: it makes it very easy to drag and drop my content.

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Speaker 1: But I think it's just being flexible. And you know what,

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Speaker 1: I used to publish six days a week, and now

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Speaker 1: I published two or three days a week, and that

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Speaker 1: has had to evolve as my family has grown, as

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Speaker 1: my work has changed, as seasons of busyness have occurred,

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Speaker 1: as I've been writing books and been on deadline and

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Speaker 1: that sort of thing. And so social media also, I

428
00:21:12,800 --> 00:21:14,800
Speaker 1: think is really helpful in that way. Is it's a

429
00:21:14,840 --> 00:21:17,000
Speaker 1: lot easier for me to post on Instagram, whether it's

430
00:21:17,040 --> 00:21:19,440
Speaker 1: on my Jessica and Turner, which is my personal one,

431
00:21:19,520 --> 00:21:21,640
Speaker 1: or books and Lobbery, which is just about books. It's

432
00:21:21,680 --> 00:21:23,359
Speaker 1: way easier for me to post on there than it

433
00:21:23,400 --> 00:21:25,680
Speaker 1: is sometimes to get a blog post up. And so

434
00:21:25,760 --> 00:21:29,480
Speaker 1: people can engage with me on social they are quicker

435
00:21:29,520 --> 00:21:31,640
Speaker 1: and on a more daily basis than they maybe will

436
00:21:31,640 --> 00:21:34,439
Speaker 1: on the blog. Yeah, And in terms of the book writing,

437
00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:36,480
Speaker 1: because I guess that's another thing that we have a

438
00:21:36,520 --> 00:21:38,880
Speaker 1: lot of listeners who are, you know, maybe in full

439
00:21:38,920 --> 00:21:41,320
Speaker 1: time jobs, but curious about the idea of writing books

440
00:21:41,600 --> 00:21:44,440
Speaker 1: because that would seem to take more like concentrated time

441
00:21:44,480 --> 00:21:46,880
Speaker 1: and how do you fit that in with everything else

442
00:21:46,880 --> 00:21:50,200
Speaker 1: that you're doing. Yep. So for Stretch Tooth Thin, which

443
00:21:50,280 --> 00:21:54,040
Speaker 1: is my new book, I wrote seven days a week,

444
00:21:54,119 --> 00:21:55,760
Speaker 1: or I was working seven days a week, so I

445
00:21:55,760 --> 00:21:57,760
Speaker 1: had my five day a week day job, and then

446
00:21:57,840 --> 00:22:00,080
Speaker 1: every Saturday and Sunday I worked on the book. So

447
00:22:00,320 --> 00:22:04,240
Speaker 1: for probably five months, I worked seven days a week,

448
00:22:04,280 --> 00:22:07,879
Speaker 1: almost every single week. It was very much a season

449
00:22:07,880 --> 00:22:09,520
Speaker 1: of being stretched too thin. I felt like I was

450
00:22:09,560 --> 00:22:11,439
Speaker 1: in the thick of it while I was writing that book,

451
00:22:12,280 --> 00:22:14,320
Speaker 1: but I only wrote for half days. I get really

452
00:22:14,320 --> 00:22:18,520
Speaker 1: fried after about three four hours, so I would leave

453
00:22:18,560 --> 00:22:20,879
Speaker 1: early in the morning, so it really went impact my

454
00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:23,480
Speaker 1: family's day a whole lot. You know. I would leave

455
00:22:23,560 --> 00:22:25,920
Speaker 1: by six seven in the morning, and i'd go to

456
00:22:25,960 --> 00:22:28,160
Speaker 1: a coffee shop or my office and I would write

457
00:22:28,400 --> 00:22:30,280
Speaker 1: till about lunchtime, and then I'd be home for the

458
00:22:30,280 --> 00:22:32,400
Speaker 1: majority of the day. And so that's how I got

459
00:22:32,400 --> 00:22:35,760
Speaker 1: that done. I had a strong outline. I knew what

460
00:22:35,840 --> 00:22:37,880
Speaker 1: I was going to accomplish every day, kind of going

461
00:22:37,920 --> 00:22:41,040
Speaker 1: into it and just got the work done. I also,

462
00:22:41,240 --> 00:22:43,480
Speaker 1: probably once or twice a week, I would leave my

463
00:22:43,520 --> 00:22:45,560
Speaker 1: house at five or five thirty and I would write

464
00:22:45,600 --> 00:22:48,480
Speaker 1: for several hours before my work day started, which made

465
00:22:48,480 --> 00:22:51,000
Speaker 1: for a really long day, right at twelve thirteen hour day,

466
00:22:51,520 --> 00:22:54,439
Speaker 1: but again just chipping away at it at you know,

467
00:22:54,480 --> 00:22:56,919
Speaker 1: a thousand, two thousand words at a time. I was

468
00:22:56,960 --> 00:22:59,320
Speaker 1: able to get the book written in a pretty concentrated

469
00:22:59,359 --> 00:23:03,240
Speaker 1: period of time. Time. That is awesome. That is I mean, someday,

470
00:23:03,280 --> 00:23:05,879
Speaker 1: if I end up going that route, that's probably the

471
00:23:05,880 --> 00:23:09,560
Speaker 1: only time. It's that early morning kind of energy. And

472
00:23:09,600 --> 00:23:11,400
Speaker 1: then somehow, I don't know if this is true for you,

473
00:23:11,440 --> 00:23:13,240
Speaker 1: but if you're doing a different kind of work during

474
00:23:13,240 --> 00:23:16,440
Speaker 1: the regular work day, it doesn't feel as exhausting as

475
00:23:16,440 --> 00:23:18,240
Speaker 1: it might feel if you were perhaps trying to write

476
00:23:18,240 --> 00:23:20,640
Speaker 1: for twelve hours straight, or see patients for twelve hours straight,

477
00:23:20,720 --> 00:23:22,439
Speaker 1: or do your marketing for twelve hours straight, because at

478
00:23:22,520 --> 00:23:24,800
Speaker 1: least it uses kind of a difference side of your brain,

479
00:23:24,840 --> 00:23:27,280
Speaker 1: so it seems like you really leverage that ability to

480
00:23:27,359 --> 00:23:30,480
Speaker 1: kind of do the creative stuff and then switch gears. Yes,

481
00:23:30,480 --> 00:23:32,840
Speaker 1: and I would absolutely look at my schedule at work

482
00:23:32,920 --> 00:23:34,439
Speaker 1: so that I would know what kind of day I

483
00:23:34,480 --> 00:23:36,480
Speaker 1: was going to have on the days that I was

484
00:23:36,520 --> 00:23:38,480
Speaker 1: going to be writing, so that I wasn't going to

485
00:23:38,520 --> 00:23:40,520
Speaker 1: be at my desk for twelve hours. You know that

486
00:23:40,600 --> 00:23:42,840
Speaker 1: there was a meeting on campus, or there was an

487
00:23:42,880 --> 00:23:45,160
Speaker 1: event at Seacrest Studios or something like that to help

488
00:23:45,200 --> 00:23:46,720
Speaker 1: break up the day, because I knew that it was

489
00:23:46,760 --> 00:23:48,760
Speaker 1: going to be a long day and I still wanted

490
00:23:48,800 --> 00:23:52,240
Speaker 1: to give my best to my nine to five even

491
00:23:52,280 --> 00:23:54,760
Speaker 1: though I had written in the morning. And I think

492
00:23:54,800 --> 00:23:57,560
Speaker 1: recognizing that it's just a season, it was a really

493
00:23:57,560 --> 00:23:59,960
Speaker 1: hard season. But there are seasons where we work a lot,

494
00:24:00,480 --> 00:24:04,040
Speaker 1: and hopefully that isn't the norm. And you know, we

495
00:24:04,119 --> 00:24:05,719
Speaker 1: knew that was just going to be for a finite

496
00:24:05,760 --> 00:24:07,640
Speaker 1: period of time, that we had to get this book done,

497
00:24:07,680 --> 00:24:10,359
Speaker 1: and that in the scheme of my children's lives, I

498
00:24:10,440 --> 00:24:12,560
Speaker 1: was going to be present, even though during that season

499
00:24:12,600 --> 00:24:14,240
Speaker 1: I wasn't as present as I would have liked to be.

500
00:24:14,640 --> 00:24:17,600
Speaker 1: And in terms of your family's scheduled, and I mean,

501
00:24:17,640 --> 00:24:20,720
Speaker 1: the older kids are in school sort of regular hours,

502
00:24:20,760 --> 00:24:23,719
Speaker 1: and how about the little guy, how does that schedule? Well,

503
00:24:23,800 --> 00:24:26,600
Speaker 1: he's in full time daycare and his school is right

504
00:24:26,640 --> 00:24:29,080
Speaker 1: next door to my kid's school, so that makes it

505
00:24:29,200 --> 00:24:31,760
Speaker 1: really easy for my husband does all the drop off

506
00:24:31,760 --> 00:24:34,280
Speaker 1: and pick up, and so it's sort of one stop

507
00:24:34,440 --> 00:24:37,760
Speaker 1: drop and shop, so that made it really easy as well.

508
00:24:37,880 --> 00:24:40,200
Speaker 1: So they all kind of had that same schedule. That's

509
00:24:40,240 --> 00:24:43,120
Speaker 1: good too, choose choose a daycare that makes life easier

510
00:24:43,200 --> 00:24:47,520
Speaker 1: rather than life harder. Yes, absolutely. And in terms of

511
00:24:47,520 --> 00:24:49,800
Speaker 1: how so he does a lot of the driving for that,

512
00:24:49,880 --> 00:24:52,399
Speaker 1: like the drop offs, the pickups. And in terms of

513
00:24:52,440 --> 00:24:54,880
Speaker 1: like household responsibilities, how do you guys tend to wind

514
00:24:54,960 --> 00:24:58,320
Speaker 1: up splitting that. You know, we both are a little

515
00:24:58,400 --> 00:25:01,119
Speaker 1: las fair when it comes to household responsibilities, which I

516
00:25:01,119 --> 00:25:04,119
Speaker 1: think is probably a good thing in that neither of

517
00:25:04,240 --> 00:25:07,320
Speaker 1: us feels like the house needs to be perfectly tidy

518
00:25:07,440 --> 00:25:11,520
Speaker 1: all of the time. So Matthew usually cooks dinner. He's

519
00:25:11,520 --> 00:25:14,040
Speaker 1: a phenomenal cook, so he usually takes care of dinner,

520
00:25:14,200 --> 00:25:16,960
Speaker 1: and then we split up, you know, clean up in baths,

521
00:25:17,000 --> 00:25:19,639
Speaker 1: and we're totally okay if we you know, rinse the

522
00:25:19,680 --> 00:25:21,920
Speaker 1: dishes and stack them, and you know, get the left

523
00:25:21,920 --> 00:25:23,560
Speaker 1: of a fruit in the fridge, but leave the rest

524
00:25:23,600 --> 00:25:26,000
Speaker 1: until morning. I don't know why it seems like I'm

525
00:25:26,160 --> 00:25:28,479
Speaker 1: much faster at cleaning up dinner in the morning than

526
00:25:28,520 --> 00:25:30,560
Speaker 1: I am at night. I think probably because I'm tired

527
00:25:30,600 --> 00:25:34,359
Speaker 1: and I don't want to do it. So we split

528
00:25:34,400 --> 00:25:36,359
Speaker 1: that up. He does all the outside stuff. I do

529
00:25:36,400 --> 00:25:38,800
Speaker 1: the laundry. He does the vacuuming. You know, it's not

530
00:25:39,720 --> 00:25:43,439
Speaker 1: anything fancy, and we just make it work and involve

531
00:25:43,440 --> 00:25:45,760
Speaker 1: our kids, especially as they're getting older, you know, they

532
00:25:45,760 --> 00:25:49,480
Speaker 1: have responsibilities as well, and just make sure it all

533
00:25:49,480 --> 00:25:53,000
Speaker 1: gets done. We also are big proponents of hiring help

534
00:25:53,200 --> 00:25:55,320
Speaker 1: when there are things that we aren't good at or

535
00:25:55,359 --> 00:25:58,600
Speaker 1: can't get to it. So like we have cleaning people

536
00:25:58,600 --> 00:26:00,680
Speaker 1: come in twice a month just kind of help bring

537
00:26:00,720 --> 00:26:02,800
Speaker 1: us up to normal, and they, you know, scrub all

538
00:26:02,800 --> 00:26:05,360
Speaker 1: the tubs and toilets and change all the sheets and

539
00:26:05,560 --> 00:26:07,720
Speaker 1: vacuum and dust and do all of that too. So

540
00:26:07,800 --> 00:26:10,320
Speaker 1: not that we're only vacuuming every two weeks, but it

541
00:26:10,440 --> 00:26:13,560
Speaker 1: just kind of helps keep the house running. Having that

542
00:26:14,240 --> 00:26:16,479
Speaker 1: be a part of our budget and included in our

543
00:26:16,520 --> 00:26:18,520
Speaker 1: day to day life. I could totally see vacuuming only

544
00:26:18,520 --> 00:26:25,119
Speaker 1: two weeks. Vacuuming I don't know, you know. I read

545
00:26:25,280 --> 00:26:28,639
Speaker 1: the staff that you're supposed to vacuum once for every

546
00:26:29,080 --> 00:26:32,840
Speaker 1: number of people there on your house. So we should

547
00:26:32,920 --> 00:26:37,400
Speaker 1: vacuum five times a week, which is that I know,

548
00:26:37,520 --> 00:26:40,280
Speaker 1: But I think we probably vacuum, I don't know, three

549
00:26:40,320 --> 00:26:43,520
Speaker 1: times a week. Huh. We're still in the cheerio stage,

550
00:26:43,520 --> 00:26:45,760
Speaker 1: So I just feel like there's always cheerios on the floor.

551
00:26:46,400 --> 00:26:48,840
Speaker 1: We have wood floors, so it's I guess it's I'm like, well,

552
00:26:48,840 --> 00:26:51,400
Speaker 1: I guess you have to sweep it or else. Yeah,

553
00:26:51,440 --> 00:26:53,240
Speaker 1: with the little kids, you'd be like stepping on like

554
00:26:53,560 --> 00:26:56,800
Speaker 1: grit all day totally. And I guess there are pets.

555
00:26:56,840 --> 00:27:00,879
Speaker 1: I guess that adds another element that is funny. I

556
00:27:01,000 --> 00:27:04,359
Speaker 1: liked your little metaphor about the bouncy ball versus a

557
00:27:04,359 --> 00:27:09,680
Speaker 1: glass ball, and I definitely feel like this by the way, yes, yes, sorry,

558
00:27:09,680 --> 00:27:11,920
Speaker 1: I should have mentioned that I was lucky enough to

559
00:27:11,920 --> 00:27:14,600
Speaker 1: get an advanced copy, which was really cool, thank you.

560
00:27:15,119 --> 00:27:17,600
Speaker 1: But that was a great metaphor in my opinion, and

561
00:27:17,680 --> 00:27:20,000
Speaker 1: would I would say those household tasks for me at

562
00:27:20,080 --> 00:27:24,040
Speaker 1: least fall into significant rubber ball territory and either I

563
00:27:24,080 --> 00:27:27,280
Speaker 1: let them bounce or I bounce them to somebody else. Absolutely. Yeah,

564
00:27:27,359 --> 00:27:29,639
Speaker 1: I love that metaphor too. That was I conducted a

565
00:27:29,640 --> 00:27:31,840
Speaker 1: survey of two thousand working moms as part of my

566
00:27:31,880 --> 00:27:34,320
Speaker 1: research for writing the book, and one of them said

567
00:27:34,320 --> 00:27:37,480
Speaker 1: in the open comments that she really looks at life

568
00:27:37,640 --> 00:27:39,959
Speaker 1: as what things are glass balls, and if you drop them,

569
00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:42,159
Speaker 1: they'll break and what things are rubber balls and if

570
00:27:42,160 --> 00:27:43,840
Speaker 1: you drop them, it isn't the end of the world.

571
00:27:43,960 --> 00:27:46,680
Speaker 1: And I think that's such a healthy way to look

572
00:27:46,720 --> 00:27:49,560
Speaker 1: at all of our responsibility. Sometimes we treat everything like

573
00:27:49,640 --> 00:27:52,840
Speaker 1: glass balls, and really there's lots of things in our

574
00:27:52,880 --> 00:27:54,679
Speaker 1: lives that are rubber balls that it's going to be

575
00:27:54,720 --> 00:27:58,160
Speaker 1: okay if it isn't held up to the same standard,

576
00:27:58,320 --> 00:28:00,280
Speaker 1: or you wait a little longer, or you just let

577
00:28:00,320 --> 00:28:02,320
Speaker 1: it go completely. So I think that's a great way

578
00:28:02,440 --> 00:28:04,640
Speaker 1: to look at things, and it's been really freeing for

579
00:28:04,680 --> 00:28:07,359
Speaker 1: me since I read that. Yeah, so what other than

580
00:28:07,400 --> 00:28:09,960
Speaker 1: the vacuuming do you consider it to be a rubber ball?

581
00:28:10,040 --> 00:28:11,800
Speaker 1: And then what's a what's a glass ball for you?

582
00:28:12,480 --> 00:28:15,560
Speaker 1: So glass ball for me, of course, is family. I

583
00:28:15,600 --> 00:28:20,359
Speaker 1: think obviously people in relationships are glass. My own self

584
00:28:20,400 --> 00:28:24,760
Speaker 1: care is glass. I want to treat my work like glass.

585
00:28:24,960 --> 00:28:27,280
Speaker 1: But I have learned that a lot of work is

586
00:28:27,320 --> 00:28:31,879
Speaker 1: actually a rubber ball, in that we oftentimes put self

587
00:28:31,880 --> 00:28:35,040
Speaker 1: imposed deadlines on ourselves, or we think we are the

588
00:28:35,080 --> 00:28:39,000
Speaker 1: only person who can do something when in actuality, somebody

589
00:28:39,000 --> 00:28:42,200
Speaker 1: else can do it just fine or good enough, And

590
00:28:42,240 --> 00:28:44,880
Speaker 1: being okay with good enough is something that I have

591
00:28:45,000 --> 00:28:48,360
Speaker 1: learned a lot in my work, so I want to

592
00:28:48,400 --> 00:28:50,360
Speaker 1: treat my work like a glass ball, and that it's

593
00:28:50,400 --> 00:28:53,480
Speaker 1: important it contributes to our family. You know, I certainly

594
00:28:53,520 --> 00:28:56,840
Speaker 1: don't want to lose my job, but also recognize that

595
00:28:56,920 --> 00:29:00,280
Speaker 1: I don't have to hold it so tightly that I

596
00:29:00,320 --> 00:29:04,000
Speaker 1: can't ever let anybody else in. I think relationships in

597
00:29:04,080 --> 00:29:07,480
Speaker 1: general are glass balls. I think we sometimes treat friendship

598
00:29:07,560 --> 00:29:09,920
Speaker 1: as rubber balls, and oh, we'll get to that. But

599
00:29:10,040 --> 00:29:12,200
Speaker 1: what we find then is that we're lonely and that

600
00:29:12,280 --> 00:29:16,080
Speaker 1: we are really needing some community and time away with

601
00:29:16,120 --> 00:29:19,560
Speaker 1: girlfriends and just time to talk. And so I think

602
00:29:19,600 --> 00:29:25,440
Speaker 1: that's unfortunate that because we're so busy, we neglect friends

603
00:29:25,640 --> 00:29:28,360
Speaker 1: and relationship. And so relationship, to me, is something that's

604
00:29:28,440 --> 00:29:31,520
Speaker 1: important in a glass ball. To me, yeah, that's definitely true.

605
00:29:31,640 --> 00:29:33,920
Speaker 1: And you know, with your book which has this title

606
00:29:33,960 --> 00:29:36,440
Speaker 1: Stretch tooth Thin, which sounds, you know, kind of negative,

607
00:29:36,440 --> 00:29:39,080
Speaker 1: but I want our listeners to know that it's it's

608
00:29:39,080 --> 00:29:42,440
Speaker 1: actually pretty positive. That your perspective is that it's not

609
00:29:42,600 --> 00:29:45,240
Speaker 1: inevitable to be, you know, stretch tooth in for the

610
00:29:45,240 --> 00:29:47,640
Speaker 1: rest of your life. So what do you think is

611
00:29:47,680 --> 00:29:50,760
Speaker 1: the difference between people who feel stretched tooth thin and

612
00:29:50,800 --> 00:29:53,800
Speaker 1: those who aren't. Gosh, that's such a good question, you know.

613
00:29:53,920 --> 00:29:58,480
Speaker 1: I think that it is recognizing the areas that we're

614
00:29:58,480 --> 00:30:01,240
Speaker 1: stretched too thin in and being willing to make change.

615
00:30:01,320 --> 00:30:03,880
Speaker 1: So the subtitle for the book is how working Moms

616
00:30:03,880 --> 00:30:06,760
Speaker 1: can Lose the guilt, work smarter, and thrive. And so

617
00:30:06,880 --> 00:30:09,520
Speaker 1: what I tried to do in the book was identify

618
00:30:09,560 --> 00:30:11,720
Speaker 1: those pain points for us where we feel stretched too thin,

619
00:30:11,800 --> 00:30:14,520
Speaker 1: whether that's home management or self care, which were the

620
00:30:14,560 --> 00:30:16,920
Speaker 1: two biggest ones for working moms, or that's investing in

621
00:30:16,920 --> 00:30:19,800
Speaker 1: our marriages, or creating boundaries at work, or some of

622
00:30:19,800 --> 00:30:23,240
Speaker 1: the relationships and investing in those or some of the

623
00:30:23,280 --> 00:30:26,600
Speaker 1: emotions that we feel like mom guilt and comparison. For

624
00:30:26,840 --> 00:30:29,200
Speaker 1: a lot of women, we're letting all of those things

625
00:30:29,200 --> 00:30:31,959
Speaker 1: eat us up and making ourselves feel like we're not

626
00:30:31,960 --> 00:30:34,640
Speaker 1: doing a good job in whatever area we feel stretched

627
00:30:34,680 --> 00:30:37,120
Speaker 1: too thin in, and it can really eat us up.

628
00:30:37,280 --> 00:30:40,560
Speaker 1: And my hope is that women can identify those areas

629
00:30:40,600 --> 00:30:43,360
Speaker 1: and they can make changes so that they still might

630
00:30:43,400 --> 00:30:46,040
Speaker 1: be busy and there still might be seasons of being

631
00:30:46,120 --> 00:30:48,440
Speaker 1: stretched too thin, but that that isn't the norm. That

632
00:30:49,120 --> 00:30:54,240
Speaker 1: you have a rhythm of work and family and activities

633
00:30:54,440 --> 00:31:00,440
Speaker 1: and relationship building that is healthy and satisfying instead of

634
00:31:00,520 --> 00:31:03,760
Speaker 1: constantly feeling overwhelmed and like you're in survival mode. I

635
00:31:03,800 --> 00:31:08,040
Speaker 1: think that living busy doesn't have to mean that you

636
00:31:08,160 --> 00:31:12,560
Speaker 1: are living like you can are just barely hanging on yea.

637
00:31:13,040 --> 00:31:15,560
Speaker 1: On this podcast, yeah, we love replacing even the word

638
00:31:15,560 --> 00:31:17,960
Speaker 1: busy with the word full because it's you know, first

639
00:31:18,000 --> 00:31:20,760
Speaker 1: of all, we're always sort of choosing, for the most part,

640
00:31:20,800 --> 00:31:23,640
Speaker 1: how to use our time, absolutely, and we're always trying

641
00:31:23,680 --> 00:31:26,360
Speaker 1: to think about how we can enjoy it and not

642
00:31:26,640 --> 00:31:29,520
Speaker 1: feel like just because we're doing a lot of things

643
00:31:30,160 --> 00:31:32,280
Speaker 1: that we have to live this burdensome existence. So I

644
00:31:32,280 --> 00:31:34,520
Speaker 1: think your book definitely speaks to that, and the fact

645
00:31:34,600 --> 00:31:37,800
Speaker 1: that you know, it's really important to do continuous reevaluation

646
00:31:37,880 --> 00:31:39,960
Speaker 1: of what works and what doesn't. I mean, I think

647
00:31:40,000 --> 00:31:41,840
Speaker 1: both Laura and I can get set into a little

648
00:31:41,840 --> 00:31:45,160
Speaker 1: bit well anybody, but we both are upholders, and I

649
00:31:45,160 --> 00:31:47,400
Speaker 1: think sometimes I'll get set into a pattern of like, oh,

650
00:31:47,400 --> 00:31:49,240
Speaker 1: this is the way I do it, but then it'll

651
00:31:49,240 --> 00:31:51,080
Speaker 1: take me a few weeks of being like, wait a second,

652
00:31:51,280 --> 00:31:53,480
Speaker 1: I'm a little bit miserable. What's not working here what

653
00:31:53,640 --> 00:31:55,520
Speaker 1: needs to be tweaked, and your book kind of goes through,

654
00:31:55,960 --> 00:31:58,400
Speaker 1: you know, section by section. It kind of reminds you

655
00:31:58,440 --> 00:32:00,560
Speaker 1: which areas are important to look at. So I think

656
00:32:00,600 --> 00:32:03,239
Speaker 1: that's that's a great prompt for many of us who

657
00:32:03,320 --> 00:32:07,560
Speaker 1: are the metaphor of a circus. And you know, people say, oh,

658
00:32:07,600 --> 00:32:10,320
Speaker 1: life is a circus that they often mean it's chaotic,

659
00:32:10,320 --> 00:32:12,040
Speaker 1: But if you think about it, circus is not chaotic

660
00:32:12,080 --> 00:32:14,960
Speaker 1: at all. Like everything happens, it's a lot going on,

661
00:32:15,480 --> 00:32:17,080
Speaker 1: but you know, no one's getting shot out of a

662
00:32:17,080 --> 00:32:20,000
Speaker 1: cannon at the wrong time. Like everything is highly coordinated.

663
00:32:20,080 --> 00:32:23,640
Speaker 1: It works, you know, it makes it all all work together.

664
00:32:23,720 --> 00:32:27,680
Speaker 1: So yeah, so and interestingly, you know, one of the

665
00:32:27,360 --> 00:32:31,240
Speaker 1: the usual narrative for working moms when things are feeling

666
00:32:31,280 --> 00:32:34,000
Speaker 1: stretch tooth in is that it's work that has to go.

667
00:32:34,080 --> 00:32:36,280
Speaker 1: I mean, this is sort of social narrative out there

668
00:32:36,360 --> 00:32:39,880
Speaker 1: that oh, it must be work that's the problem. And

669
00:32:40,640 --> 00:32:42,840
Speaker 1: that was sort of, you know, not necessarily the take

670
00:32:43,040 --> 00:32:44,960
Speaker 1: and stretch tooth in. And I loved your your phrase

671
00:32:45,000 --> 00:32:47,280
Speaker 1: at one point of when you're sort of counting your

672
00:32:47,360 --> 00:32:49,760
Speaker 1: your blessings and all that, to think of your work

673
00:32:49,840 --> 00:32:52,400
Speaker 1: is a blessing, not a burden to your family. So

674
00:32:52,440 --> 00:32:54,880
Speaker 1: let's let's unpack that thought a little bit there, because

675
00:32:54,920 --> 00:32:56,680
Speaker 1: there is so much out there that's based on this

676
00:32:56,760 --> 00:32:59,560
Speaker 1: narrative that you know, if moms are working, it's because

677
00:32:59,560 --> 00:33:02,160
Speaker 1: it's you know, they have to, or it's a regrettable

678
00:33:02,200 --> 00:33:05,479
Speaker 1: thing in some way. You know, maybe okay, yeah, if

679
00:33:05,480 --> 00:33:07,880
Speaker 1: there's a financial need, but if there's not, Like, whoa

680
00:33:07,880 --> 00:33:10,240
Speaker 1: why on earth would you do that? I mean, how

681
00:33:10,240 --> 00:33:13,760
Speaker 1: have you avoided thinking that? And how can other people

682
00:33:13,840 --> 00:33:17,800
Speaker 1: think that too? Well? Seventy five percent of American women

683
00:33:18,040 --> 00:33:22,040
Speaker 1: mom's work, right, So it makes me so sad that

684
00:33:22,040 --> 00:33:24,200
Speaker 1: that is the narrative, you know, that that is the

685
00:33:24,240 --> 00:33:26,560
Speaker 1: thing that should go. You know, I think when I

686
00:33:26,600 --> 00:33:28,400
Speaker 1: think about my own personal work and how it's a

687
00:33:28,400 --> 00:33:30,760
Speaker 1: blessing to my family first and foremost, I carry the

688
00:33:30,800 --> 00:33:35,280
Speaker 1: benefits from my family. And I had to have surgery

689
00:33:35,320 --> 00:33:37,560
Speaker 1: and go to the er this past year, and we

690
00:33:37,600 --> 00:33:39,680
Speaker 1: got a bill for twenty six thousand dollars and we

691
00:33:39,760 --> 00:33:41,800
Speaker 1: had to pay I don't know, like less than two

692
00:33:41,840 --> 00:33:44,480
Speaker 1: hundred dollars on that. I mean, that is a huge,

693
00:33:44,720 --> 00:33:48,120
Speaker 1: huge blessing right there. I think it's a blessing because

694
00:33:48,200 --> 00:33:50,840
Speaker 1: I am doing something that I love and I'm good at,

695
00:33:51,000 --> 00:33:53,320
Speaker 1: and it's satisfying to me, and I think it is

696
00:33:53,360 --> 00:33:55,440
Speaker 1: empowering for me to do that, And it's empowering for

697
00:33:55,520 --> 00:33:58,360
Speaker 1: my kids to see their mom doing work that she

698
00:33:58,600 --> 00:34:03,920
Speaker 1: loves and is using her talents and helping her family.

699
00:34:04,080 --> 00:34:05,720
Speaker 1: I think all of that is really good. I think

700
00:34:05,720 --> 00:34:10,240
Speaker 1: it's really important to model healthy behaviors for our children,

701
00:34:10,280 --> 00:34:14,720
Speaker 1: whether that is working and doing it with not biggrudgingly

702
00:34:14,920 --> 00:34:17,360
Speaker 1: enjoying the work that we do, being passionate about it,

703
00:34:17,440 --> 00:34:21,360
Speaker 1: doing it well, doing it to completion, but also taking

704
00:34:21,400 --> 00:34:23,960
Speaker 1: time for ourselves and practicing self care and seeing what

705
00:34:23,960 --> 00:34:26,640
Speaker 1: that looks like and seeing that and the through the

706
00:34:26,719 --> 00:34:30,280
Speaker 1: lens of working that mommy works, but mommy also needs

707
00:34:30,320 --> 00:34:32,480
Speaker 1: to go and be with her friends and not feeling

708
00:34:32,480 --> 00:34:34,480
Speaker 1: guilty about that, and not feeling guilty when I'm going

709
00:34:34,560 --> 00:34:36,200
Speaker 1: to go and get a massage one night instead of

710
00:34:36,480 --> 00:34:38,680
Speaker 1: staying home with them when I already was gone all day,

711
00:34:38,760 --> 00:34:41,320
Speaker 1: because they see the mommy's taking care of her body,

712
00:34:41,440 --> 00:34:44,680
Speaker 1: you know, and modeling that behavior. So I think that

713
00:34:44,760 --> 00:34:47,600
Speaker 1: there are so many benefits to work. Then there's of

714
00:34:47,600 --> 00:34:50,040
Speaker 1: course the financial benefit. I mean, most of us work

715
00:34:50,120 --> 00:34:53,520
Speaker 1: because we need to support our families, right, and we

716
00:34:53,560 --> 00:34:56,319
Speaker 1: need those finances. And so I think if you have

717
00:34:56,440 --> 00:34:58,480
Speaker 1: young children, like the stage of life that I'm in,

718
00:34:58,719 --> 00:35:01,120
Speaker 1: having those types of conversations with your kids is really

719
00:35:01,200 --> 00:35:04,440
Speaker 1: important so they understand why you're doing the work that

720
00:35:04,480 --> 00:35:07,520
Speaker 1: you're doing and why it matters for your family and

721
00:35:07,600 --> 00:35:09,720
Speaker 1: how it impacts them. You know, we get really honest,

722
00:35:09,760 --> 00:35:11,759
Speaker 1: Like you like to go to the beach, Well, if

723
00:35:11,800 --> 00:35:13,480
Speaker 1: you like to go to the beach, mommy needs to

724
00:35:13,520 --> 00:35:15,359
Speaker 1: work so that we can pay to go to the beach,

725
00:35:15,480 --> 00:35:18,200
Speaker 1: you know, and put it in terms that they can

726
00:35:18,320 --> 00:35:22,759
Speaker 1: understand exactly. Even if it's even if you're not necessarily

727
00:35:22,880 --> 00:35:25,120
Speaker 1: you are possibly the you know, the breadwinner and the

728
00:35:25,120 --> 00:35:28,200
Speaker 1: one bringing the benefits. But even if you aren't, you know,

729
00:35:28,600 --> 00:35:30,960
Speaker 1: the second person working can be the difference between having

730
00:35:31,000 --> 00:35:34,240
Speaker 1: to be very paranoid about money and scraping by and

731
00:35:34,280 --> 00:35:36,200
Speaker 1: being able to say yes to things and not have

732
00:35:36,239 --> 00:35:38,120
Speaker 1: to think about it so hard, which I think is

733
00:35:38,160 --> 00:35:40,759
Speaker 1: so is valuable. Absolutely, here's just slightly heir because I

734
00:35:40,760 --> 00:35:43,960
Speaker 1: realized I missed this question earlier that I was supposed to.

735
00:35:44,880 --> 00:35:47,000
Speaker 1: What advice would you give to someone who is looking

736
00:35:47,040 --> 00:35:51,200
Speaker 1: to start a side hustle or passion project or things

737
00:35:51,239 --> 00:35:53,600
Speaker 1: like this, because you know, obviously there's the question making time,

738
00:35:53,640 --> 00:35:55,239
Speaker 1: but there's other things too with it. I mean, what

739
00:35:55,239 --> 00:35:57,399
Speaker 1: what advice would you give to someone who's starting out

740
00:35:57,400 --> 00:36:00,239
Speaker 1: with this. I think it needs to be sent thing

741
00:36:00,280 --> 00:36:04,000
Speaker 1: that you're passionate about and that is not just going

742
00:36:04,040 --> 00:36:06,719
Speaker 1: to be financially rewarding to you, but something that you're

743
00:36:06,719 --> 00:36:10,520
Speaker 1: going to really enjoy doing. I know that for me.

744
00:36:10,680 --> 00:36:14,840
Speaker 1: I have seen friends who have pursued like MLM businesses

745
00:36:14,880 --> 00:36:16,600
Speaker 1: and they've invested a ton in it, but you could

746
00:36:16,600 --> 00:36:18,880
Speaker 1: see that they were passionate about it, whether it was

747
00:36:18,920 --> 00:36:22,080
Speaker 1: about improving those families how through oils, or it was

748
00:36:22,280 --> 00:36:24,400
Speaker 1: you know, fashion with lu La Row, whatever it is.

749
00:36:24,440 --> 00:36:28,759
Speaker 1: The women who I see just really doing it extremely

750
00:36:28,800 --> 00:36:32,640
Speaker 1: well are passionate about about it, versus those who see

751
00:36:32,680 --> 00:36:35,680
Speaker 1: it as maybe being an opportunity just to add some income,

752
00:36:35,760 --> 00:36:38,279
Speaker 1: but they don't really love it, like it never takes off,

753
00:36:38,320 --> 00:36:40,879
Speaker 1: I feel like for them, and so I think making

754
00:36:40,880 --> 00:36:43,440
Speaker 1: sure that's something that you're passionate about. I think having

755
00:36:44,160 --> 00:36:47,880
Speaker 1: real conversations if you're married with your spouse and saying,

756
00:36:48,200 --> 00:36:50,960
Speaker 1: how can we make this work? I'm going to need

757
00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:54,200
Speaker 1: to invest this amount of time into it, We're going

758
00:36:54,239 --> 00:36:57,400
Speaker 1: to need to hire childcare. I think we're going to

759
00:36:57,480 --> 00:36:59,560
Speaker 1: need to take this out of the equation of our

760
00:36:59,600 --> 00:37:03,360
Speaker 1: weekly schedule, whatever that is. I think, being really honest

761
00:37:03,400 --> 00:37:05,440
Speaker 1: about hey, if we're going to make this successful, this

762
00:37:05,480 --> 00:37:08,080
Speaker 1: isn't just about my time and my work. This is

763
00:37:08,320 --> 00:37:12,600
Speaker 1: going to impact all of us, and then constantly reevaluating

764
00:37:12,640 --> 00:37:14,880
Speaker 1: it seeing what's working. You know, if I use my

765
00:37:14,920 --> 00:37:18,960
Speaker 1: blog as an example, I'm constantly looking at the affiliate

766
00:37:19,400 --> 00:37:21,879
Speaker 1: posts that I'm doing and seeing if they're converting. Well,

767
00:37:21,920 --> 00:37:23,960
Speaker 1: is it something that's resonating with my readers, is it

768
00:37:23,960 --> 00:37:26,840
Speaker 1: something that's worth my time for writing and doing the

769
00:37:26,840 --> 00:37:30,080
Speaker 1: photography and that sort of thing. And sometimes the stuff

770
00:37:30,120 --> 00:37:33,920
Speaker 1: that you really enjoy isn't financially beneficial, and so then

771
00:37:33,920 --> 00:37:37,480
Speaker 1: you need to decide if your enjoyment is enough of

772
00:37:37,520 --> 00:37:39,200
Speaker 1: a why to do it, or if you need to

773
00:37:39,200 --> 00:37:41,360
Speaker 1: pivot and do something else. Well, and certainly sometimes the

774
00:37:41,360 --> 00:37:44,480
Speaker 1: fun is there too. I don't know. Hopefully our listeners

775
00:37:44,520 --> 00:37:46,800
Speaker 1: have checked out your blog, but the series of posts

776
00:37:46,880 --> 00:37:51,920
Speaker 1: from the Rinkle and Time movie stuff that's pretty crazy.

777
00:37:52,840 --> 00:37:56,399
Speaker 1: Just just tell people real quick about that. Yeah, yeah,

778
00:37:56,440 --> 00:38:00,200
Speaker 1: So Disney invited me to attend the movie premiere of

779
00:38:00,239 --> 00:38:02,680
Speaker 1: A Wrinkle in Time, and we got to meet almost

780
00:38:02,719 --> 00:38:05,880
Speaker 1: the entire cast, so I took a selfie with Oprah

781
00:38:05,920 --> 00:38:09,120
Speaker 1: and met Reese, Witherspoon and the director Able to Jarnet,

782
00:38:09,160 --> 00:38:11,319
Speaker 1: I mean, it was absolutely incredible. If you click on

783
00:38:11,480 --> 00:38:13,520
Speaker 1: entertainment on the mom Creative, you can find those posts

784
00:38:13,560 --> 00:38:16,120
Speaker 1: pretty easily, but you know, to be honest with you,

785
00:38:16,200 --> 00:38:18,319
Speaker 1: So that is something that was a passion project for

786
00:38:18,360 --> 00:38:20,560
Speaker 1: me that I really loved in that Yes, it was

787
00:38:20,600 --> 00:38:23,359
Speaker 1: an all expense paid trip. It was an incredible once

788
00:38:23,360 --> 00:38:26,839
Speaker 1: in a lifetime experience, but it wasn't paid in any

789
00:38:26,880 --> 00:38:28,880
Speaker 1: way as far as adding to my bank account, and

790
00:38:29,280 --> 00:38:32,600
Speaker 1: the requirements for those trips are actually pretty substantial. I

791
00:38:32,640 --> 00:38:35,759
Speaker 1: had to write something like fifteen blog posts in the

792
00:38:35,800 --> 00:38:38,880
Speaker 1: span of a month, which was an obscene amount of

793
00:38:38,880 --> 00:38:41,480
Speaker 1: content for me, particularly because I'm not publishing as much

794
00:38:41,480 --> 00:38:44,400
Speaker 1: as I used to, and certainly I'm not normally publishing

795
00:38:44,400 --> 00:38:46,480
Speaker 1: that much entertainment content. But I felt like it was

796
00:38:46,719 --> 00:38:49,080
Speaker 1: a once in a lifetime thing, it would be really

797
00:38:49,080 --> 00:38:52,000
Speaker 1: interesting to my readers and a fun experience, and it

798
00:38:52,080 --> 00:38:53,799
Speaker 1: was all of those things, and so that made it

799
00:38:53,880 --> 00:38:55,799
Speaker 1: worth it. And I had to take off of work

800
00:38:55,840 --> 00:38:57,520
Speaker 1: to do it, but that made it worth it because

801
00:38:57,520 --> 00:39:00,279
Speaker 1: of all of those things, even though it wasn't necessarly

802
00:39:00,280 --> 00:39:02,640
Speaker 1: contributing to my bottom line in the same way that

803
00:39:02,840 --> 00:39:05,120
Speaker 1: you know, a sponsored blog post would with Swiffer or

804
00:39:05,160 --> 00:39:08,160
Speaker 1: something like that. But I would do it over again

805
00:39:09,360 --> 00:39:11,360
Speaker 1: with Oprah. It's all those great things you can always

806
00:39:11,640 --> 00:39:16,440
Speaker 1: whip out and share. You're like, what can I do there? Yeah? No, Well,

807
00:39:16,480 --> 00:39:18,200
Speaker 1: I think that's interesting for people to keep in mind,

808
00:39:18,239 --> 00:39:20,080
Speaker 1: right that there is always this trade off between the

809
00:39:20,080 --> 00:39:22,480
Speaker 1: stuff that's like really cool and then the stuff that

810
00:39:22,600 --> 00:39:25,480
Speaker 1: does add to the bottom line, and you have to decide,

811
00:39:25,520 --> 00:39:29,160
Speaker 1: like how much of something is total, just like hobby slash, passion, project,

812
00:39:29,280 --> 00:39:31,919
Speaker 1: verst how much it is side hustle, you know, trying

813
00:39:31,920 --> 00:39:34,960
Speaker 1: to add income, and there's there's always this this give

814
00:39:35,000 --> 00:39:37,960
Speaker 1: and take between those things. So speaking on things that

815
00:39:37,960 --> 00:39:41,600
Speaker 1: are there give and take time again back to that,

816
00:39:42,800 --> 00:39:46,000
Speaker 1: you put a time tracker in Stretch Too Thin, didn't you.

817
00:39:46,719 --> 00:39:49,879
Speaker 1: I sure did. Laura Vandercam time Tracker, Extraor and Air.

818
00:39:50,120 --> 00:39:52,160
Speaker 1: I have a time tracker in every single one of

819
00:39:52,160 --> 00:39:54,359
Speaker 1: my books. I think it is one of the most

820
00:39:54,400 --> 00:39:57,920
Speaker 1: brilliant practices for women to see where their time is

821
00:39:57,960 --> 00:40:01,719
Speaker 1: going and really, event you wait if you can make

822
00:40:01,800 --> 00:40:03,560
Speaker 1: changes in your life, and you can speak to this

823
00:40:03,719 --> 00:40:06,600
Speaker 1: far better even than I can. But I think that

824
00:40:06,640 --> 00:40:09,520
Speaker 1: it's a really important exercise for women to do, even

825
00:40:09,520 --> 00:40:12,560
Speaker 1: if it's just once a year, just to see do

826
00:40:12,640 --> 00:40:15,839
Speaker 1: I need to shift anything. Gosh, I'm spending my time

827
00:40:15,880 --> 00:40:18,000
Speaker 1: doing laundry every single day. Can I do this a

828
00:40:18,080 --> 00:40:20,759
Speaker 1: different way? Or I'm in the car this many hours?

829
00:40:20,800 --> 00:40:22,719
Speaker 1: I didn't realize that could I be spending that time

830
00:40:22,760 --> 00:40:24,439
Speaker 1: a different way? I know for me, when I tracked

831
00:40:24,440 --> 00:40:26,000
Speaker 1: my time and realized how much I was in the

832
00:40:26,040 --> 00:40:28,319
Speaker 1: car and I was using so much of that time

833
00:40:28,320 --> 00:40:30,400
Speaker 1: to just talk on the phone aimlessly to my sister,

834
00:40:31,600 --> 00:40:33,600
Speaker 1: I thought, you know, I really want to start reading

835
00:40:33,600 --> 00:40:35,560
Speaker 1: more books. And I started talking on the phone list

836
00:40:35,600 --> 00:40:38,200
Speaker 1: and started listening to audiobooks in the car instead. So

837
00:40:38,680 --> 00:40:41,879
Speaker 1: that totally was transformative to me because I was reading

838
00:40:41,920 --> 00:40:44,880
Speaker 1: more books. Books are my happy thing. When I wrote

839
00:40:44,880 --> 00:40:46,640
Speaker 1: my first book, The Fringe, I was making time for you.

840
00:40:46,680 --> 00:40:48,279
Speaker 1: I did a survey and the number one thing that

841
00:40:48,600 --> 00:40:50,640
Speaker 1: women wanted to do more of if they had time

842
00:40:50,640 --> 00:40:52,720
Speaker 1: for themselves was read. And it's like Oh my goodness,

843
00:40:52,760 --> 00:40:55,120
Speaker 1: it's so easy. With the Kindle app and the audible app,

844
00:40:55,160 --> 00:40:57,640
Speaker 1: you can have a book at your fingertips at any time.

845
00:40:57,719 --> 00:40:59,879
Speaker 1: And so I think time tracking is just such an

846
00:41:00,040 --> 00:41:03,080
Speaker 1: excellent practice for people to incorporate, even just once a year.

847
00:41:03,160 --> 00:41:07,680
Speaker 1: I totally agree, obviously. But now I've had that same

848
00:41:07,719 --> 00:41:10,160
Speaker 1: discovery about how much time I was spending in the car,

849
00:41:10,480 --> 00:41:13,200
Speaker 1: and it was strange for me because I don't have

850
00:41:13,239 --> 00:41:16,239
Speaker 1: a daily commute, and so I was thinking, like, you know, oh,

851
00:41:16,280 --> 00:41:18,040
Speaker 1: I must not be spending much time in the car

852
00:41:18,280 --> 00:41:20,719
Speaker 1: or you know, but then I was one way or

853
00:41:20,760 --> 00:41:24,040
Speaker 1: the other, right, So that was a discovery. Was there

854
00:41:24,040 --> 00:41:26,480
Speaker 1: anything else you are surprised by as you were looking

855
00:41:26,560 --> 00:41:29,919
Speaker 1: at it? I think I'm always surprised by how long

856
00:41:30,000 --> 00:41:35,440
Speaker 1: tours take. And for me, I'm I'm always affirmed in

857
00:41:35,520 --> 00:41:37,680
Speaker 1: how much time I am taking for myself. So I'm

858
00:41:37,840 --> 00:41:40,879
Speaker 1: one of those women who is aggressive with my self care,

859
00:41:41,080 --> 00:41:43,439
Speaker 1: and so it's nice to see that on paper that

860
00:41:43,640 --> 00:41:46,279
Speaker 1: I did take a lot of time to read and

861
00:41:46,320 --> 00:41:48,160
Speaker 1: go for a walk and be with friends and that

862
00:41:48,200 --> 00:41:49,960
Speaker 1: sort of thing in any given week, because that is

863
00:41:49,960 --> 00:41:52,719
Speaker 1: something that's really important to me. So that's affirming to

864
00:41:52,760 --> 00:41:54,600
Speaker 1: see that on there, And I think for women, if

865
00:41:54,600 --> 00:41:58,239
Speaker 1: you're not seeing that on there, making space for that

866
00:41:58,320 --> 00:42:01,680
Speaker 1: in your week is really important. When you say the chores,

867
00:42:01,719 --> 00:42:04,359
Speaker 1: which direction did you mean? I'm curious because last night,

868
00:42:04,920 --> 00:42:07,080
Speaker 1: so I like, I intermittently tracked time and I am

869
00:42:07,120 --> 00:42:10,520
Speaker 1: doing it right now, Laura, But I looked at the

870
00:42:10,560 --> 00:42:11,920
Speaker 1: clock and I'm like, oh, I do not feel like

871
00:42:11,920 --> 00:42:13,560
Speaker 1: putting these dishes away. And it was eight twenty one,

872
00:42:13,600 --> 00:42:15,120
Speaker 1: and when it was finished, it was eight twenty six,

873
00:42:15,160 --> 00:42:17,040
Speaker 1: which is like really pathetic that it took four minutes

874
00:42:17,040 --> 00:42:19,520
Speaker 1: but probably had like ten minutes of dread associated. So

875
00:42:19,560 --> 00:42:22,359
Speaker 1: do you find that those chores take like less time

876
00:42:22,360 --> 00:42:24,560
Speaker 1: than you thought or the same amount? Like what did

877
00:42:24,560 --> 00:42:27,120
Speaker 1: you mean by that? Yeah? I think they For me,

878
00:42:27,320 --> 00:42:30,439
Speaker 1: they take the same or more, you know, I think

879
00:42:30,560 --> 00:42:34,560
Speaker 1: because for me, I am I seem to be the

880
00:42:34,640 --> 00:42:37,839
Speaker 1: chor leader in my house, and so for when I

881
00:42:37,880 --> 00:42:40,120
Speaker 1: track time, it's usually a conversation of like, this is

882
00:42:40,160 --> 00:42:42,120
Speaker 1: the time that mommy spent doing all of these things.

883
00:42:42,280 --> 00:42:44,279
Speaker 1: Some of this needs to be delegated to other people

884
00:42:44,320 --> 00:42:46,240
Speaker 1: in the house, Like I am not the only person

885
00:42:46,280 --> 00:42:48,839
Speaker 1: who can load a dishwasher, yet I was the one

886
00:42:48,880 --> 00:42:51,640
Speaker 1: loading the dishes most of the time, most of the week,

887
00:42:51,760 --> 00:42:53,680
Speaker 1: you know, on that week that I was tracking time.

888
00:42:53,760 --> 00:42:56,759
Speaker 1: So usually for me, it's the same or a little more.

889
00:42:57,520 --> 00:43:00,479
Speaker 1: And it's also just they're always a part of day,

890
00:43:00,640 --> 00:43:05,120
Speaker 1: like I'm you know, morning, evening, like I'm always I

891
00:43:05,160 --> 00:43:08,040
Speaker 1: feel like tours are in there as part of that.

892
00:43:08,120 --> 00:43:10,600
Speaker 1: And so, you know, thinking about can we do this

893
00:43:10,640 --> 00:43:13,080
Speaker 1: in a different way has been really empowering, Like can

894
00:43:13,120 --> 00:43:15,720
Speaker 1: we do laundry during the weekend, fold it in baskets

895
00:43:15,719 --> 00:43:17,520
Speaker 1: and then weekends we put it all away instead of

896
00:43:17,560 --> 00:43:19,839
Speaker 1: like putting it away every single day or whatever that is.

897
00:43:20,160 --> 00:43:22,840
Speaker 1: We've tried lots of different methods when it comes to laundry.

898
00:43:22,880 --> 00:43:24,840
Speaker 1: I don't know why there is so much laundry with

899
00:43:24,880 --> 00:43:29,080
Speaker 1: a family of five, but it's just constant, right, and

900
00:43:29,120 --> 00:43:33,160
Speaker 1: so anyway, usually it's the same or even a little more. Unfortunately,

901
00:43:33,520 --> 00:43:36,160
Speaker 1: Well there we go, all right, Well this is this

902
00:43:36,239 --> 00:43:38,520
Speaker 1: has been great, Sarah. You have any more more questions

903
00:43:38,560 --> 00:43:43,760
Speaker 1: for for Jessica. Yeah, So we always end with our

904
00:43:43,880 --> 00:43:46,520
Speaker 1: Love of the Week, which is a segment where we

905
00:43:46,560 --> 00:43:49,399
Speaker 1: talk about something that's that's totally rocking our worlds right now.

906
00:43:50,200 --> 00:43:54,239
Speaker 1: You know, it can be anything we don't have any

907
00:43:54,280 --> 00:43:58,280
Speaker 1: sponsored things on this post and this podcast, so feel

908
00:43:58,280 --> 00:44:01,120
Speaker 1: free to do whatever you want. So, so, Sarah, what

909
00:44:01,360 --> 00:44:03,759
Speaker 1: have you got this week? Yeah, my love of the

910
00:44:03,760 --> 00:44:06,400
Speaker 1: week is, well, we've had a lot of coffee related

911
00:44:06,440 --> 00:44:09,640
Speaker 1: love of the weeks, I know, and we got like,

912
00:44:10,000 --> 00:44:14,040
Speaker 1: I got like complaint about that that it was promoting

913
00:44:14,080 --> 00:44:16,399
Speaker 1: a cliche, and I'm like, I'm not a cliche really

914
00:44:16,560 --> 00:44:20,799
Speaker 1: just cofee. I don't really like coffee. So my love

915
00:44:20,840 --> 00:44:22,800
Speaker 1: of the week is setting a timer on the coffee maker.

916
00:44:22,960 --> 00:44:24,719
Speaker 1: You know, most of them have that function. I never

917
00:44:24,840 --> 00:44:26,279
Speaker 1: used to do it. I've started doing it in the

918
00:44:26,320 --> 00:44:29,600
Speaker 1: last week or so and like coming downstairs and smelling

919
00:44:29,640 --> 00:44:31,279
Speaker 1: it that it's already been brewing. I mean, first of all,

920
00:44:31,320 --> 00:44:32,759
Speaker 1: it forces me to get up when I'm supposed to

921
00:44:32,800 --> 00:44:36,680
Speaker 1: get up, and it's just such a nice thing. It's

922
00:44:36,719 --> 00:44:38,759
Speaker 1: like I thank my prior self for being kid. You

923
00:44:39,000 --> 00:44:40,960
Speaker 1: want to have these situations where you're able to thank

924
00:44:41,000 --> 00:44:44,360
Speaker 1: your prior self for these things you discover. Now, I

925
00:44:44,360 --> 00:44:47,080
Speaker 1: always love that when that happens. I'm going to say

926
00:44:47,080 --> 00:44:49,720
Speaker 1: my love of the week is pick your own farms.

927
00:44:49,840 --> 00:44:52,799
Speaker 1: And we're recording this actually ahead of time here, so

928
00:44:52,880 --> 00:44:56,000
Speaker 1: our listeners are probably listening to this in September, which

929
00:44:56,040 --> 00:45:00,000
Speaker 1: is apple picking season. We're recorded in June's. We actually

930
00:45:00,120 --> 00:45:02,560
Speaker 1: just did the strawberry picking, and we went to a

931
00:45:02,600 --> 00:45:04,440
Speaker 1: different farm this year. So I was going to go

932
00:45:04,520 --> 00:45:06,880
Speaker 1: to the same sort of crazy one we always go to.

933
00:45:06,920 --> 00:45:09,440
Speaker 1: It's kind of a zoo, you know, just tons of

934
00:45:09,440 --> 00:45:12,760
Speaker 1: people there and they have all sorts of other random

935
00:45:12,800 --> 00:45:16,080
Speaker 1: stuff associated with this farm, but it was closed, Like

936
00:45:16,080 --> 00:45:18,160
Speaker 1: the strawberries they weren't picking on the particular day we

937
00:45:18,200 --> 00:45:21,080
Speaker 1: planned to go, and so I was like frantically googling

938
00:45:21,120 --> 00:45:23,920
Speaker 1: for another place to go, and I found this smaller

939
00:45:24,320 --> 00:45:26,560
Speaker 1: farm that was only fifteen minutes from our house. I

940
00:45:26,600 --> 00:45:30,279
Speaker 1: was like much quieter and more accessible and all that

941
00:45:30,320 --> 00:45:33,600
Speaker 1: good stuff. So it's just always a great family activity

942
00:45:33,960 --> 00:45:35,960
Speaker 1: in my mind, at least, like the kids have fun

943
00:45:36,080 --> 00:45:40,120
Speaker 1: picking the fruit and then they you go somewhere and

944
00:45:40,160 --> 00:45:42,200
Speaker 1: make an activity of it, come home and eat your

945
00:45:42,200 --> 00:45:44,520
Speaker 1: fruit and all that. My husband doesn't like it as

946
00:45:44,520 --> 00:45:46,799
Speaker 1: an activity. I think he feels like I think he's

947
00:45:47,080 --> 00:45:50,719
Speaker 1: actually had to do like outdoor work as did you

948
00:45:50,760 --> 00:45:53,759
Speaker 1: know it was like a summer job back in the day,

949
00:45:53,760 --> 00:45:55,360
Speaker 1: and so his idea of like paying to be a

950
00:45:55,360 --> 00:45:58,360
Speaker 1: farm worker is you know, he's like what on earth?

951
00:46:00,239 --> 00:46:03,720
Speaker 1: But I enjoy it, so I take the kids. All right, Jessica,

952
00:46:03,800 --> 00:46:05,040
Speaker 1: do you have a love of the week for us?

953
00:46:05,880 --> 00:46:08,680
Speaker 1: I do so. You mentioned that we're recording this in June,

954
00:46:08,719 --> 00:46:12,400
Speaker 1: but honestly, June September, it doesn't really matter. This is applicable.

955
00:46:12,480 --> 00:46:14,200
Speaker 1: It will still be my love of the week when ever.

956
00:46:14,239 --> 00:46:19,640
Speaker 1: This airs is Halloween, because my family goes big on

957
00:46:19,840 --> 00:46:23,960
Speaker 1: theme Halloween costumes. Last year we did Super Mario Brothers.

958
00:46:24,160 --> 00:46:27,879
Speaker 1: It was epic. I was the Venus fly trap coming

959
00:46:27,920 --> 00:46:31,480
Speaker 1: out of the pipe and handmade the entire thing. My

960
00:46:31,800 --> 00:46:34,960
Speaker 1: husband was the question Mark Box. My little two year

961
00:46:35,000 --> 00:46:37,879
Speaker 1: old at the time was Mario, my nine year old

962
00:46:37,920 --> 00:46:40,279
Speaker 1: was Bowser. My little girl was Princess Peach. And we

963
00:46:40,320 --> 00:46:42,200
Speaker 1: do these themes every year. We've done Wizard of Oz,

964
00:46:42,280 --> 00:46:45,560
Speaker 1: We've done Alice in Wonderland, We've done Little Red Riding Hood.

965
00:46:46,320 --> 00:46:48,319
Speaker 1: So I'm not going to say what we're doing this year,

966
00:46:48,560 --> 00:46:51,160
Speaker 1: but we finally landed on the theme in May that

967
00:46:51,239 --> 00:46:53,759
Speaker 1: everyone could agree on. And I'm always terrified that this

968
00:46:53,800 --> 00:46:55,600
Speaker 1: is going to be the last year that my oldest

969
00:46:55,640 --> 00:46:59,240
Speaker 1: will agree to do yeah family theme, but this year's

970
00:46:59,239 --> 00:47:02,839
Speaker 1: theme is a amazing I'm so excited about it, and

971
00:47:02,960 --> 00:47:06,520
Speaker 1: I started working on costumes this summer and really do

972
00:47:06,600 --> 00:47:08,520
Speaker 1: the bulk of the work usually in that month right

973
00:47:08,560 --> 00:47:12,400
Speaker 1: before Halloween, and so good when people are listening to this,

974
00:47:12,400 --> 00:47:14,600
Speaker 1: I'm sure I'm in the thick of Halloween costume making,

975
00:47:14,719 --> 00:47:18,200
Speaker 1: so I'll be sharing at Instagram stories little sneak peaks.

976
00:47:18,239 --> 00:47:21,520
Speaker 1: But I think this year's theme it might be our

977
00:47:21,520 --> 00:47:24,000
Speaker 1: best yet, which I never thought i'd be able to

978
00:47:24,000 --> 00:47:26,880
Speaker 1: top the Nintendo one. But thank you everyone to agree

979
00:47:26,920 --> 00:47:32,399
Speaker 1: on it. Like I've just your children seeing them passionate. Okay, passionate? Yeah,

980
00:47:32,440 --> 00:47:37,400
Speaker 1: how does that work? Yeah? Yes, So we started talking

981
00:47:37,480 --> 00:47:42,480
Speaker 1: about the Halloween theme for twenty eighteen literally at Halloween

982
00:47:42,480 --> 00:47:45,360
Speaker 1: twenty seventeen, and it took us until May twenty eighteen

983
00:47:45,440 --> 00:47:49,799
Speaker 1: to land on the of it. So a lot of aeteria.

984
00:47:50,000 --> 00:47:54,120
Speaker 1: You know, my husband actually didn't really celebrate Halloween when

985
00:47:54,120 --> 00:47:56,440
Speaker 1: he was a kid. He was raised in a really

986
00:47:56,960 --> 00:48:00,480
Speaker 1: fundamentalist home, kind of a crazy upbringing, and so he

987
00:48:00,520 --> 00:48:02,960
Speaker 1: didn't do Halloween. So Halloween's kind of a new thing

988
00:48:03,000 --> 00:48:05,120
Speaker 1: for him, and so I think he gets really into

989
00:48:05,160 --> 00:48:07,040
Speaker 1: it now because he didn't get to do that as

990
00:48:07,080 --> 00:48:09,600
Speaker 1: a child. My criteria is I want to be able

991
00:48:09,600 --> 00:48:11,680
Speaker 1: to hand make at least fifty percent of the costumes,

992
00:48:12,120 --> 00:48:15,720
Speaker 1: So that means we're not doing any like Marvel Superheroes

993
00:48:15,800 --> 00:48:18,239
Speaker 1: or Star Wars or anything that's you know, can be

994
00:48:18,320 --> 00:48:20,480
Speaker 1: store bought better and easier, So there's got to be

995
00:48:20,520 --> 00:48:23,359
Speaker 1: a handmade component. And then you know, my boys want

996
00:48:23,400 --> 00:48:26,319
Speaker 1: something cool and my little girl wants something that you

997
00:48:26,360 --> 00:48:28,799
Speaker 1: know isn't boyish, So there's a lot of criteria. And

998
00:48:28,800 --> 00:48:31,400
Speaker 1: then you know, you've got three guys, two girls. You

999
00:48:31,440 --> 00:48:34,400
Speaker 1: know what's going to work thematically, So there's there's a

1000
00:48:34,400 --> 00:48:37,040
Speaker 1: lot out there to try to figure out a perfect theme.

1001
00:48:37,080 --> 00:48:41,680
Speaker 1: But the theme that I wanted for a while, variation

1002
00:48:41,760 --> 00:48:43,400
Speaker 1: of that is what we ended up landing on. So

1003
00:48:43,480 --> 00:48:45,080
Speaker 1: you know, I just got to really build the case

1004
00:48:45,920 --> 00:48:47,840
Speaker 1: that is awesome, and I can tell you really enjoy it.

1005
00:48:47,880 --> 00:48:49,600
Speaker 1: I think my mouth was open like the whole time

1006
00:48:49,600 --> 00:48:52,640
Speaker 1: you were talking, because like I am like the polar opposite,

1007
00:48:52,680 --> 00:48:54,600
Speaker 1: Like I'm like whatever I can order in like three

1008
00:48:54,600 --> 00:48:58,360
Speaker 1: clicks or less that you can ship in two days.

1009
00:48:58,400 --> 00:49:01,000
Speaker 1: And I don't know why, I actually don't love that hot,

1010
00:49:01,080 --> 00:49:02,600
Speaker 1: but I love that you love it, And it's like

1011
00:49:02,640 --> 00:49:05,399
Speaker 1: you've turned something that's you've made. It's like a good

1012
00:49:05,440 --> 00:49:08,080
Speaker 1: example of like don't compare, because clearly that's like super

1013
00:49:08,120 --> 00:49:09,719
Speaker 1: fun for you and your family, and you make it

1014
00:49:09,719 --> 00:49:11,759
Speaker 1: a really big thing, whereas you know, we may have

1015
00:49:11,800 --> 00:49:14,600
Speaker 1: other things. Absolutely right, you made time for what's important

1016
00:49:14,640 --> 00:49:16,480
Speaker 1: to you. For me, it is important to me to

1017
00:49:16,560 --> 00:49:18,719
Speaker 1: make part of our Halloween costumes. I mean, and that

1018
00:49:18,800 --> 00:49:20,680
Speaker 1: is that is fine. Absolutely, I love it and I

1019
00:49:20,719 --> 00:49:22,839
Speaker 1: can't wait to see your Instagram posts for her. Well,

1020
00:49:22,920 --> 00:49:24,719
Speaker 1: thank you so much Jessica for being on. We really

1021
00:49:24,760 --> 00:49:27,799
Speaker 1: appreciate it. Oh, it was an absolute joy. Thank you

1022
00:49:27,840 --> 00:49:30,000
Speaker 1: so much for having me. All Right, so let's get

1023
00:49:30,040 --> 00:49:33,280
Speaker 1: into our Q and A segment. We got a fairly

1024
00:49:33,400 --> 00:49:37,799
Speaker 1: wordy uh question long. No, I don't mean wordy long long.

1025
00:49:37,840 --> 00:49:42,000
Speaker 1: It has a lot of content. It was well thought through. Yes,

1026
00:49:42,120 --> 00:49:44,640
Speaker 1: oh absolutely, yeah, I guess I wasn't using that term correctly.

1027
00:49:45,719 --> 00:49:47,600
Speaker 1: This is from a reader with a fifteen month old

1028
00:49:47,600 --> 00:49:49,920
Speaker 1: who is considering having a second and she writes in

1029
00:49:49,960 --> 00:49:52,560
Speaker 1: that she loves the podcast. Thank you. One thing that's

1030
00:49:52,560 --> 00:49:54,719
Speaker 1: discussed is that tracking your time gives you more time

1031
00:49:54,719 --> 00:49:56,920
Speaker 1: with your kids than you think. But my question is

1032
00:49:56,960 --> 00:49:59,480
Speaker 1: how much is really enough? Time with kids. She was

1033
00:49:59,520 --> 00:50:02,319
Speaker 1: listening to the part time episode that's episode number three

1034
00:50:02,440 --> 00:50:04,440
Speaker 1: for the second time, as that's a decision that she

1035
00:50:04,560 --> 00:50:07,759
Speaker 1: was thinking about strongly, and then I'm going to read her.

1036
00:50:08,160 --> 00:50:11,480
Speaker 1: She wrote some disadvantages and some potential advantages that she

1037
00:50:11,520 --> 00:50:15,120
Speaker 1: wrote on here. So disadvantages less money and less outsourcing.

1038
00:50:15,239 --> 00:50:17,560
Speaker 1: She says the only thing she outsources well is cleaning

1039
00:50:17,560 --> 00:50:19,680
Speaker 1: the house, and she thinks she could cut back in

1040
00:50:19,760 --> 00:50:21,640
Speaker 1: other ways and still keep the one hundred dollars a

1041
00:50:21,640 --> 00:50:24,680
Speaker 1: month luxury. She says she works really hard, worked really

1042
00:50:24,680 --> 00:50:27,520
Speaker 1: hard pre kids, and has a significant amount of network worth,

1043
00:50:27,680 --> 00:50:30,120
Speaker 1: and her husband has a similar big job, so they

1044
00:50:30,120 --> 00:50:32,719
Speaker 1: could be comfortable. Money's not much of a motivator for

1045
00:50:32,760 --> 00:50:36,359
Speaker 1: her right now. Another disadvantage is working more by getting

1046
00:50:36,360 --> 00:50:39,200
Speaker 1: paid less in her current load roles. She could structure

1047
00:50:39,200 --> 00:50:42,640
Speaker 1: a way to be off two times a week career trajectory.

1048
00:50:42,640 --> 00:50:44,120
Speaker 1: She wasn't sure how much joy it would bring in

1049
00:50:44,160 --> 00:50:46,839
Speaker 1: the grand scheme of life to be more successful professionally.

1050
00:50:47,080 --> 00:50:50,600
Speaker 1: Maybe she's not in the right industry. Her potential advantages,

1051
00:50:50,640 --> 00:50:53,359
Speaker 1: she says, what would part time provide enjoying the young

1052
00:50:53,440 --> 00:50:56,000
Speaker 1: kid years more? It sounds a lot nicer to do

1053
00:50:56,000 --> 00:50:58,200
Speaker 1: puzzles at home or the zoo on a Tuesday morning,

1054
00:50:58,200 --> 00:50:59,839
Speaker 1: the cramming it in the evening with bedtime, and did

1055
00:51:00,080 --> 00:51:02,040
Speaker 1: battles on the weekend when it's already so harried getting

1056
00:51:02,040 --> 00:51:04,640
Speaker 1: everyone else ready for the week, having more time for

1057
00:51:04,719 --> 00:51:07,480
Speaker 1: marriage than myself, not wanting to work split shift, it

1058
00:51:07,560 --> 00:51:08,880
Speaker 1: is really hard for her to feel like she has

1059
00:51:08,960 --> 00:51:11,080
Speaker 1: enough time for herself and her marriage. In the hour

1060
00:51:11,880 --> 00:51:13,879
Speaker 1: or an hour and a half after her child goes

1061
00:51:13,880 --> 00:51:16,200
Speaker 1: to bed and they're preparing for the next day, cleaning up,

1062
00:51:16,280 --> 00:51:19,320
Speaker 1: eating their own dinners, et cetera, she finds that the

1063
00:51:19,400 --> 00:51:21,680
Speaker 1: kids won't want to talk because she's home at a

1064
00:51:21,719 --> 00:51:23,359
Speaker 1: certain time. Now she only has a fifteen month old

1065
00:51:23,520 --> 00:51:25,920
Speaker 1: at this juncture, probably a thirteen month old isn't speaking

1066
00:51:25,920 --> 00:51:29,360
Speaker 1: all that much anyway, exactly when they get older. She

1067
00:51:29,480 --> 00:51:31,359
Speaker 1: knows that, you know, we had lag live on as

1068
00:51:31,360 --> 00:51:32,960
Speaker 1: a guest, and she talked about how she's glad she's

1069
00:51:32,960 --> 00:51:35,200
Speaker 1: home more because the kids don't want to talk at

1070
00:51:35,320 --> 00:51:37,440
Speaker 1: you know, necessarily just because you're home. You need to

1071
00:51:37,480 --> 00:51:39,680
Speaker 1: have more opportunities for them to open up when they're ready.

1072
00:51:40,560 --> 00:51:43,040
Speaker 1: She knows that errands are easier to do and during

1073
00:51:43,040 --> 00:51:45,920
Speaker 1: the week when it's less crowded and she wants to

1074
00:51:45,920 --> 00:51:49,200
Speaker 1: do things that are hard to outsource. Now. She mentioned

1075
00:51:49,440 --> 00:51:52,640
Speaker 1: things like clothes, shopping for kids, buying school supplies, coordinate

1076
00:51:52,760 --> 00:51:55,520
Speaker 1: vendor repairs at home, budgeting. So much of this takes

1077
00:51:55,520 --> 00:51:57,360
Speaker 1: a little time here and there, and it is difficult

1078
00:51:57,400 --> 00:51:59,360
Speaker 1: to outsource it well or squeeze it all in on

1079
00:51:59,400 --> 00:52:02,759
Speaker 1: the evening weekends. So basically she's just asking should she

1080
00:52:02,800 --> 00:52:04,680
Speaker 1: go part time? I guess this is what the rate

1081
00:52:04,760 --> 00:52:07,960
Speaker 1: of the listener question was, So did what did you think?

1082
00:52:08,000 --> 00:52:13,200
Speaker 1: Like there's downsides and upsides. I mean, I think it

1083
00:52:13,320 --> 00:52:16,520
Speaker 1: really depends on I think she needs to write out

1084
00:52:16,520 --> 00:52:19,080
Speaker 1: two weeks on a piece of paper and like think

1085
00:52:19,080 --> 00:52:21,400
Speaker 1: about what they look like and not sure cote what

1086
00:52:21,560 --> 00:52:23,040
Speaker 1: was that time? What the kid would look like? Because

1087
00:52:23,080 --> 00:52:24,680
Speaker 1: it sounds really cute to write puzzles on the floor,

1088
00:52:24,680 --> 00:52:26,239
Speaker 1: But like you're also gonna be changing diapers and dealing

1089
00:52:26,280 --> 00:52:28,120
Speaker 1: with tantrums and possibly going to the grocery store where

1090
00:52:28,120 --> 00:52:29,400
Speaker 1: a screaming kid or doesn't want to go to the

1091
00:52:29,400 --> 00:52:31,440
Speaker 1: grocery store, and worry about nap time, et cetera. So

1092
00:52:31,480 --> 00:52:35,480
Speaker 1: it's not, you know, all easy stuff. She is entering

1093
00:52:35,760 --> 00:52:39,160
Speaker 1: thinking about having another kid, and I mean, this sounds

1094
00:52:39,360 --> 00:52:41,880
Speaker 1: really crazy, but like for me, the toddler years is

1095
00:52:41,880 --> 00:52:44,239
Speaker 1: when I probably less want to be part time, Like

1096
00:52:44,360 --> 00:52:48,799
Speaker 1: I feel okay about having, you know, not necessarily so

1097
00:52:48,920 --> 00:52:51,240
Speaker 1: many hours with them on a day to day basis,

1098
00:52:52,280 --> 00:52:54,719
Speaker 1: but you know, everybody else's mileage of me vary, and

1099
00:52:54,760 --> 00:52:58,120
Speaker 1: maybe you really love that stage and want lots and

1100
00:52:58,120 --> 00:52:59,719
Speaker 1: lots of time with your kids. For me, I felt

1101
00:52:59,719 --> 00:53:02,160
Speaker 1: more like as they've gotten older, the part time has

1102
00:53:02,200 --> 00:53:04,000
Speaker 1: been more valuable because I want to you know, do

1103
00:53:04,040 --> 00:53:06,719
Speaker 1: the homework with a kindergartener or well she's first grade now,

1104
00:53:06,719 --> 00:53:10,120
Speaker 1: and have those more complex discussions. But right now, all

1105
00:53:10,120 --> 00:53:12,399
Speaker 1: we've got is a fifteen year old, fifteen month old

1106
00:53:12,400 --> 00:53:14,600
Speaker 1: and a possible pregnancy, so she may not you know,

1107
00:53:14,640 --> 00:53:17,080
Speaker 1: be there yet. I'm going to leave more of the

1108
00:53:17,080 --> 00:53:20,400
Speaker 1: answer to you because you had such a thoughtful answer.

1109
00:53:20,680 --> 00:53:23,719
Speaker 1: And I think though, that she really just needs to

1110
00:53:23,800 --> 00:53:26,840
Speaker 1: envision which reality she'd like right now and not necessarily

1111
00:53:26,880 --> 00:53:29,640
Speaker 1: planned too far ahead, because what she wants now and

1112
00:53:29,640 --> 00:53:32,080
Speaker 1: what she wants later might be different. Yeah, although I

1113
00:53:32,080 --> 00:53:34,919
Speaker 1: loved your suggestion of creating the you know, ideal week,

1114
00:53:35,000 --> 00:53:37,040
Speaker 1: Like what would your ideal week look? Like because that

1115
00:53:37,080 --> 00:53:39,879
Speaker 1: was one of your decisions of going part time, right, Yes,

1116
00:53:39,920 --> 00:53:41,440
Speaker 1: I mean that's what I'm saying is put on paper,

1117
00:53:41,520 --> 00:53:44,480
Speaker 1: like what like block out like Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday,

1118
00:53:44,480 --> 00:53:46,400
Speaker 1: and the time you're spending with our kids, like literally

1119
00:53:46,440 --> 00:53:49,160
Speaker 1: like make a fake time diary of like what you'd

1120
00:53:49,200 --> 00:53:51,040
Speaker 1: want it to look like. And you could make one

1121
00:53:51,080 --> 00:53:53,560
Speaker 1: that that's a part time one, and one that's that's

1122
00:53:53,600 --> 00:53:55,359
Speaker 1: what you're doing now and you're right, and one that's

1123
00:53:55,400 --> 00:53:57,960
Speaker 1: like totally like if it was all your choice, And

1124
00:53:58,040 --> 00:54:00,239
Speaker 1: really that is what helped me decide that. I I

1125
00:54:00,320 --> 00:54:02,160
Speaker 1: was like, you know what, I can't have enough time

1126
00:54:02,200 --> 00:54:03,920
Speaker 1: to do the things I want to do and have

1127
00:54:03,960 --> 00:54:06,640
Speaker 1: the flexibility I want without completely blocking a day off

1128
00:54:06,640 --> 00:54:08,640
Speaker 1: from work. So I'm going to do it. So that

1129
00:54:08,719 --> 00:54:10,880
Speaker 1: might help her make that decision. Yeah, I mean, I

1130
00:54:10,920 --> 00:54:13,239
Speaker 1: know a lot of our listeners are interested in part

1131
00:54:13,280 --> 00:54:15,799
Speaker 1: time work. And we did do a whole episode on

1132
00:54:15,800 --> 00:54:20,000
Speaker 1: this back and number episode three, and Sarah did make

1133
00:54:20,000 --> 00:54:22,719
Speaker 1: a decision to go to an eighty percent schedule, which

1134
00:54:22,760 --> 00:54:25,120
Speaker 1: is why we are even able to do this podcast.

1135
00:54:25,680 --> 00:54:29,400
Speaker 1: And so you know, I've written about some of the downsides.

1136
00:54:29,719 --> 00:54:31,719
Speaker 1: Certainly it can be a good solution for people if

1137
00:54:32,400 --> 00:54:35,120
Speaker 1: they look at all the aspects of it say that

1138
00:54:35,120 --> 00:54:37,160
Speaker 1: that is truly how I'm going to open up time

1139
00:54:37,200 --> 00:54:39,319
Speaker 1: in my life for other projects that I wish to do.

1140
00:54:40,000 --> 00:54:42,640
Speaker 1: A couple of things I think this listener should think

1141
00:54:42,680 --> 00:54:45,799
Speaker 1: about as she thinks about whether to go part time

1142
00:54:45,880 --> 00:54:48,040
Speaker 1: or say what she is which again, personal decision like

1143
00:54:48,040 --> 00:54:50,400
Speaker 1: what we say is not you know, the end of it.

1144
00:54:50,600 --> 00:54:54,040
Speaker 1: Everyone has to make this decision for themselves. But practical questions,

1145
00:54:54,080 --> 00:54:55,600
Speaker 1: I mean, what happens to your benefits if you go

1146
00:54:55,640 --> 00:54:58,840
Speaker 1: part time? Because you know, maybe she has some on

1147
00:54:58,920 --> 00:55:01,480
Speaker 1: hers some of her husband. But certain plans can be

1148
00:55:01,480 --> 00:55:03,840
Speaker 1: better for some things than others, Like if they, you know,

1149
00:55:03,920 --> 00:55:05,839
Speaker 1: do have more children and one of those children's has

1150
00:55:05,840 --> 00:55:07,600
Speaker 1: some sort of special needs, some plans are better for

1151
00:55:07,640 --> 00:55:09,360
Speaker 1: that than others. Some are better for delivery than you.

1152
00:55:09,400 --> 00:55:12,160
Speaker 1: Just might want to know if you can keep your

1153
00:55:12,200 --> 00:55:15,440
Speaker 1: benefits and if not, what that's going to entail. I

1154
00:55:15,480 --> 00:55:17,960
Speaker 1: think it's also important to check how quickly you could

1155
00:55:18,000 --> 00:55:21,040
Speaker 1: scale back up to full time, full benefits, and full

1156
00:55:21,040 --> 00:55:24,080
Speaker 1: pay if you needed to, Because I mean, life just happens,

1157
00:55:24,120 --> 00:55:26,680
Speaker 1: and it can happen to anyone, and it's less of

1158
00:55:26,680 --> 00:55:29,759
Speaker 1: an issue. If she does have significant significant network, which

1159
00:55:29,760 --> 00:55:32,960
Speaker 1: she had mentioned, that's great. But if they're not at

1160
00:55:33,000 --> 00:55:35,480
Speaker 1: the place yet where you know, both of this them

1161
00:55:35,480 --> 00:55:38,000
Speaker 1: could retire early and still pay for college, then it

1162
00:55:38,000 --> 00:55:39,880
Speaker 1: still does matter. So I'm not sure how significant the

1163
00:55:39,880 --> 00:55:43,440
Speaker 1: net worth is, but if we're not quite there like,

1164
00:55:43,520 --> 00:55:47,680
Speaker 1: then these money issues still do matter. So that if

1165
00:55:47,719 --> 00:55:51,719
Speaker 1: her husband ever lost his job, for instance, how long

1166
00:55:51,760 --> 00:55:54,400
Speaker 1: could the family go with her part time work to

1167
00:55:54,719 --> 00:55:57,239
Speaker 1: meet their expenses and still stay on track for their

1168
00:55:57,280 --> 00:56:00,600
Speaker 1: financial goals right, or if something else happened, you know,

1169
00:56:00,719 --> 00:56:02,719
Speaker 1: maybe she wants to to scale up, like you know,

1170
00:56:02,800 --> 00:56:05,239
Speaker 1: life insurance or disability insurance, if they're they're going to

1171
00:56:05,320 --> 00:56:07,759
Speaker 1: take that role. I guess it's also a question of

1172
00:56:07,800 --> 00:56:10,440
Speaker 1: how her husband feels about his job, because if she

1173
00:56:10,520 --> 00:56:13,600
Speaker 1: goes part time, that is pretty much going to require

1174
00:56:13,719 --> 00:56:16,680
Speaker 1: him to maintain the full time job. I mean, maybe

1175
00:56:16,680 --> 00:56:19,080
Speaker 1: not again, if they have significant not worth then they're

1176
00:56:19,120 --> 00:56:21,160
Speaker 1: not worried about benefits or anything, then maybe they could

1177
00:56:21,160 --> 00:56:23,440
Speaker 1: both go part time. Or if he decides that he

1178
00:56:23,520 --> 00:56:27,840
Speaker 1: wants to try something entrepreneurial like I mean, the reason

1179
00:56:27,880 --> 00:56:29,920
Speaker 1: to think about this is we can't just always assume

1180
00:56:29,960 --> 00:56:32,000
Speaker 1: that what men want is to be full in on

1181
00:56:32,080 --> 00:56:35,759
Speaker 1: work for their whole lives. Oh, one think my husband's

1182
00:56:35,760 --> 00:56:40,840
Speaker 1: like he a little jealous. Well, it's true, you know.

1183
00:56:41,239 --> 00:56:44,000
Speaker 1: I mean, our choices affect other people's choices. I mean,

1184
00:56:44,000 --> 00:56:46,719
Speaker 1: I am cognizant that our health benefits are on my

1185
00:56:46,800 --> 00:56:50,759
Speaker 1: husband's job, and so that if he left his job,

1186
00:56:50,800 --> 00:56:52,640
Speaker 1: we would need to figure something out. Now I think

1187
00:56:52,640 --> 00:56:55,480
Speaker 1: we could, you know, there's ways we can buy in

1188
00:56:55,560 --> 00:56:59,000
Speaker 1: sort of for quite a while. But it is a consideration,

1189
00:57:00,120 --> 00:57:01,560
Speaker 1: you know, so if he wants to scale back, Like,

1190
00:57:01,600 --> 00:57:03,080
Speaker 1: what is she going to do about it? She? I mean,

1191
00:57:03,080 --> 00:57:05,320
Speaker 1: she mentions having time for her marriage, and a marriage

1192
00:57:05,360 --> 00:57:08,040
Speaker 1: certainly needs time, but part of a marriage is also

1193
00:57:08,080 --> 00:57:10,840
Speaker 1: can we support each other's life and career goals? And

1194
00:57:10,840 --> 00:57:14,879
Speaker 1: if his doesn't necessarily mean full time, big job, high

1195
00:57:14,880 --> 00:57:17,120
Speaker 1: pay for his whole life, like, they need to have

1196
00:57:17,160 --> 00:57:19,840
Speaker 1: that discussion sort of. The other way of viewing that is,

1197
00:57:19,840 --> 00:57:22,520
Speaker 1: is she okay with the professional center of weight shifting

1198
00:57:22,680 --> 00:57:24,240
Speaker 1: to her husband because if he's the one with the

1199
00:57:24,280 --> 00:57:26,760
Speaker 1: full time job and the benefits, like, if he wants

1200
00:57:26,840 --> 00:57:29,640
Speaker 1: to move for his job, like, they're going to have

1201
00:57:29,680 --> 00:57:32,200
Speaker 1: to consider it with a bit more with a different,

1202
00:57:32,400 --> 00:57:35,280
Speaker 1: you know, tone to that consideration, then if you know

1203
00:57:35,320 --> 00:57:37,680
Speaker 1: she was also working full time, had the full benefits

1204
00:57:37,720 --> 00:57:40,360
Speaker 1: all that. If she doesn't like the split chift, which

1205
00:57:40,400 --> 00:57:42,200
Speaker 1: is great, plenty of people don't. But just because she

1206
00:57:42,240 --> 00:57:44,400
Speaker 1: stops doing the split shift doesn't mean that her husband

1207
00:57:44,480 --> 00:57:47,479
Speaker 1: will stops again. Yeah, it was I was questioning about

1208
00:57:47,560 --> 00:57:49,640
Speaker 1: like having more time for the marriage. I'm not sure.

1209
00:57:49,640 --> 00:57:51,320
Speaker 1: I mean, it depends, I guess if she's still planning

1210
00:57:51,320 --> 00:57:55,200
Speaker 1: to outsource childcare. But yeah, he's going to be at work,

1211
00:57:55,280 --> 00:57:57,040
Speaker 1: possibly even more because there's gonna be a little bit

1212
00:57:57,040 --> 00:58:00,840
Speaker 1: more pressure on him. Maybe maybe not, But I don't

1213
00:58:01,120 --> 00:58:03,240
Speaker 1: necessarily I don't feel like I've gotten more time for

1214
00:58:03,360 --> 00:58:06,240
Speaker 1: my marriage as a result of going to eighty percent.

1215
00:58:06,240 --> 00:58:08,240
Speaker 1: I've gotten more time for me and more time with

1216
00:58:08,280 --> 00:58:10,560
Speaker 1: the kids, both of which are to something else important.

1217
00:58:10,560 --> 00:58:12,760
Speaker 1: Oh no, they're great. They're great. But I wouldn't say

1218
00:58:12,800 --> 00:58:14,680
Speaker 1: it got me. I mean maybe a little bit, like

1219
00:58:14,720 --> 00:58:16,240
Speaker 1: I was less hesitant to stay up a little bit

1220
00:58:16,280 --> 00:58:17,720
Speaker 1: later last night because I knew I didn't have to

1221
00:58:17,760 --> 00:58:21,439
Speaker 1: work today. So marginal, but not like hours and hours. Yeah,

1222
00:58:21,920 --> 00:58:23,720
Speaker 1: you know, I guess, speaking of which, can you actually

1223
00:58:23,760 --> 00:58:27,000
Speaker 1: be sure you will work less This is something we've

1224
00:58:27,000 --> 00:58:28,920
Speaker 1: talked about in the past, a part time job creep.

1225
00:58:29,760 --> 00:58:33,760
Speaker 1: Many people who go part time wind up trying to

1226
00:58:33,760 --> 00:58:35,440
Speaker 1: be nice about it, like they're trying to be a comedy,

1227
00:58:35,480 --> 00:58:37,120
Speaker 1: and then they take calls on their days off and

1228
00:58:37,200 --> 00:58:39,720
Speaker 1: next thing you know, they're working close to what the

1229
00:58:39,720 --> 00:58:41,880
Speaker 1: hours they were and they're not getting paid for it.

1230
00:58:41,920 --> 00:58:43,640
Speaker 1: So you want to make sure that you will get

1231
00:58:43,680 --> 00:58:46,360
Speaker 1: real time off if you go part time. Then it's

1232
00:58:46,400 --> 00:58:47,800
Speaker 1: also a question of what she's going to use her

1233
00:58:47,840 --> 00:58:50,760
Speaker 1: part time her time off to do. I mean she

1234
00:58:50,880 --> 00:58:53,760
Speaker 1: mentioned Aaron's and chores, and the issue with that is

1235
00:58:53,760 --> 00:58:57,840
Speaker 1: that you're then substituting very high pay work for low

1236
00:58:57,880 --> 00:59:01,280
Speaker 1: pay work. I mean, honestly, is buying school supplies? What

1237
00:59:01,360 --> 00:59:08,400
Speaker 1: take come on? Do the box the box? But just like, yeah,

1238
00:59:08,400 --> 00:59:10,520
Speaker 1: she's got all this list of like domestic stuff and

1239
00:59:10,720 --> 00:59:12,720
Speaker 1: I don't know why it's all her responsibility. And even

1240
00:59:12,720 --> 00:59:14,360
Speaker 1: if her husband doesn't want to take that stuff on,

1241
00:59:14,480 --> 00:59:17,000
Speaker 1: I mean a lot of that could be sent, you know,

1242
00:59:17,040 --> 00:59:19,919
Speaker 1: put to someone else. But what she is proposing doing

1243
00:59:20,400 --> 00:59:22,680
Speaker 1: is trading time that she's earning a lot of money

1244
00:59:22,920 --> 00:59:25,360
Speaker 1: to do tasks that actually don't cost that money. To

1245
00:59:25,440 --> 00:59:28,840
Speaker 1: get someone else to do. So that's fine if she

1246
00:59:28,960 --> 00:59:31,240
Speaker 1: loves it, Like there are people who love like cooking,

1247
00:59:31,280 --> 00:59:33,840
Speaker 1: for instance, they really want to cook great meals, and

1248
00:59:33,880 --> 00:59:35,800
Speaker 1: so that's why they want to work fewer hours. It's

1249
00:59:35,840 --> 00:59:38,040
Speaker 1: a love. But if you're just doing it because you're like,

1250
00:59:38,800 --> 00:59:41,720
Speaker 1: this work needs to get done somehow, you really need

1251
00:59:41,760 --> 00:59:45,800
Speaker 1: to think hard about the economic calculation there. The career

1252
00:59:45,880 --> 00:59:49,360
Speaker 1: trajectory is an actual issue even you know, if she

1253
00:59:49,400 --> 00:59:52,840
Speaker 1: doesn't feel terribly motivated by it right now, or you know,

1254
00:59:52,920 --> 00:59:55,640
Speaker 1: how how professionally would add to her life. I mean

1255
00:59:55,720 --> 00:59:59,640
Speaker 1: the thing with Rebecca Fike with that episode, she's glad

1256
00:59:59,680 --> 01:00:02,000
Speaker 1: she has more time now with her older kids. The

1257
01:00:02,080 --> 01:00:04,600
Speaker 1: reason she has that time is she was able to

1258
01:00:04,600 --> 01:00:08,000
Speaker 1: get this very prestigious government job because she had built

1259
01:00:08,000 --> 01:00:10,320
Speaker 1: her career at a major law firm and done so

1260
01:00:10,400 --> 01:00:12,920
Speaker 1: well there. She got that as she did that by

1261
01:00:12,920 --> 01:00:17,880
Speaker 1: putting in the hours when her kids were little. So sometimes,

1262
01:00:18,200 --> 01:00:19,880
Speaker 1: you know, this is the whole Sheryl Sandberg thing, But

1263
01:00:20,080 --> 01:00:24,000
Speaker 1: leaning in early on buys you more autonomy and time

1264
01:00:24,720 --> 01:00:27,680
Speaker 1: later on. So if you are going to want that

1265
01:00:27,720 --> 01:00:31,800
Speaker 1: flexibility when your kids are teenagers, maybe you want to

1266
01:00:31,840 --> 01:00:35,439
Speaker 1: actually put your foot on the gas pedal. Now, I'm

1267
01:00:35,440 --> 01:00:37,120
Speaker 1: not saying that's the right choice for you, but it's

1268
01:00:37,440 --> 01:00:41,840
Speaker 1: something to consider. So, yeah, there's upsides and downsides. No

1269
01:00:41,920 --> 01:00:45,959
Speaker 1: right answer for everyone depends on the kind of job,

1270
01:00:46,080 --> 01:00:48,440
Speaker 1: level of flexibility, what you'd do with your time. And

1271
01:00:48,560 --> 01:00:51,120
Speaker 1: you know, for somebody like you who it's actually days off,

1272
01:00:51,200 --> 01:00:53,560
Speaker 1: Like you're at your house right now, you're not juggling

1273
01:00:53,680 --> 01:00:58,440
Speaker 1: conference calls all day, right, correct. I mean somebody been

1274
01:00:58,440 --> 01:01:00,520
Speaker 1: texting me and I didn't risk I was, I didn't

1275
01:01:00,520 --> 01:01:02,960
Speaker 1: respond right away, and she texted again. She's like, oh

1276
01:01:02,960 --> 01:01:04,360
Speaker 1: my gosh, I didn't realize it was your day off,

1277
01:01:04,400 --> 01:01:08,080
Speaker 1: and I was like, yep, exactly. Yeah. So you know,

1278
01:01:08,120 --> 01:01:10,320
Speaker 1: if if you could get real days off, like you

1279
01:01:10,320 --> 01:01:11,800
Speaker 1: could be like, I'm going to get two days off

1280
01:01:11,800 --> 01:01:14,000
Speaker 1: that I really can use to go to the zoo

1281
01:01:14,080 --> 01:01:16,800
Speaker 1: or do puzzles or you know whatever, which you know,

1282
01:01:16,840 --> 01:01:18,800
Speaker 1: I kind of think you could also maybe shift your

1283
01:01:18,800 --> 01:01:21,160
Speaker 1: hours a little bit, do puzzles in the morning and

1284
01:01:21,160 --> 01:01:23,320
Speaker 1: then come in. I don't know anyway, that's just me.

1285
01:01:23,480 --> 01:01:27,280
Speaker 1: But if you are really getting days off and you're

1286
01:01:27,360 --> 01:01:30,240
Speaker 1: using them for things that you really value, that's that

1287
01:01:30,320 --> 01:01:31,880
Speaker 1: make you happy, make you happy, and then you can

1288
01:01:31,920 --> 01:01:34,920
Speaker 1: afford it, that's great. I think if you are constantly

1289
01:01:34,960 --> 01:01:37,120
Speaker 1: going to be juggling like conference calls on your days

1290
01:01:37,160 --> 01:01:41,080
Speaker 1: off and using those days to grocery shop like that

1291
01:01:41,120 --> 01:01:43,840
Speaker 1: may not be the best choice. So lots to consider

1292
01:01:45,120 --> 01:01:47,640
Speaker 1: and hopefully, well, we'll see what she winds up doing.

1293
01:01:48,000 --> 01:01:49,840
Speaker 1: We'll hopefully hear're back from ours, because I think she

1294
01:01:49,920 --> 01:01:53,120
Speaker 1: was thinking about making a decision one way or the other,

1295
01:01:53,280 --> 01:01:56,960
Speaker 1: So we'll we'll report back later. Anyway, this has been

1296
01:01:57,560 --> 01:01:59,840
Speaker 1: what has this been? Oh my goodness, which episode is this?

1297
01:02:00,480 --> 01:02:04,919
Speaker 1: Episode fifty nine? Fifty nine, Episode fifty nine, Yeah, that's

1298
01:02:04,920 --> 01:02:07,120
Speaker 1: the body of which has been Jessica Turner talking about

1299
01:02:07,120 --> 01:02:09,560
Speaker 1: all the wonderful things she does. We'll be back next

1300
01:02:09,560 --> 01:02:11,560
Speaker 1: week with more on making work in life put together.

1301
01:02:15,400 --> 01:02:18,200
Speaker 1: Thanks for listening. You can find me Sarah at the

1302
01:02:18,200 --> 01:02:22,920
Speaker 1: shoebox dot com or at the Underscore Shoebox on Instagram,

1303
01:02:23,000 --> 01:02:27,280
Speaker 1: and you can find me Laura at Laura vandercam dot com.

1304
01:02:27,400 --> 01:02:30,600
Speaker 1: This has been the best of both worlds podcasts. Please

1305
01:02:30,680 --> 01:02:33,280
Speaker 1: join us next time for more on making work and

1306
01:02:33,400 --> 01:02:34,480
Speaker 1: life work together.