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Speaker 1: What would you talk about on your on your podcast?

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Speaker 1: Firm Elvis to represents fifteen minute morning show. So it's

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Speaker 1: a fifteen minute morning show podcast and it's hot as hell. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: we're expecting debilitating temperatures today. It's gonna be feeling like

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Speaker 1: a hundred and five year Oh please, scary, put that

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Speaker 1: down anyway, fifteen minute morning showtime. Excuse me? And there's

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Speaker 1: pardon me, Gandhi, Dave Brody, I see Froggy lingering in

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Speaker 1: the background. Scotty Bus. We went to the bathroom. There's Danielle,

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Speaker 1: there's Nate and uh, you know me. Anyway, So here

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Speaker 1: we go. We now have fifteen minutes to fill up

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Speaker 1: with quality content. Go, daniel you're all I think we

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Speaker 1: should just bitch about the weather because this ship ain't funny.

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Speaker 1: Make sure you check on your pets and your grandma today,

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Speaker 1: That's what I will. Yeah, you could be in his apartment, scary,

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Speaker 1: trying to find a pool to go in again every day.

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Speaker 1: We're all like, and pay attention to your grandfather. Also, Well,

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Speaker 1: when you say grandma, I kind of mean grandma and Grandpa. Grandma.

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Speaker 1: Just as Grandpa dies in the corner from the Gampa

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Speaker 1: is not dying in the corner. Why does she meet

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Speaker 1: an old man? It's just really too hot to do

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Speaker 1: a podcast. I agree. This is when my mom would say,

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Speaker 1: all right, I'm not starting the stove or turning on

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Speaker 1: the oven. It's ice cream for dinner. So I say

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Speaker 1: no podcast Today's If we don't post a podcast, there'll

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Speaker 1: be no place for people. Podcast it's three minutes. There'll

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Speaker 1: be no place for people ask uh non secretary questions

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Speaker 1: like they'll post on that go what was that book

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Speaker 1: I was talked about three days ago? And they'll put

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Speaker 1: it on the page for the podcast, and then no

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Speaker 1: one responds to them. Yeah, you know what when you

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Speaker 1: refer when you post on posts, it should be on topic.

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Speaker 1: My favorite is the guy that keeps posting how he

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Speaker 1: can make us like millionaires. He's like, guys, I know

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Speaker 1: how to make you a millionaire. All you have to

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Speaker 1: do is give me. That's my favorite. First person a

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Speaker 1: d me gets five dollars. Yes they do. I just

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Speaker 1: write back, you're an asshole on all the posts. What's

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Speaker 1: your cash APT tag? What's your cashop tag? Yeah? Yeah? Oh. Also,

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Speaker 1: have you guys been asked to be the official endorser

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Speaker 1: or um influencer for products. Yes, and you're hidden usually

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Speaker 1: it's your hidden requests. So I got a line of

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Speaker 1: like death metal jewelry. They want me to Sunglass company.

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Speaker 1: You want me to be their influence. You should do it.

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Speaker 1: You can make some cash. Absolutely, we have the death

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Speaker 1: metal guy to cat dragged. Scotty finally joins us, look

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Speaker 1: at you? Where have you been? There was a sale

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Speaker 1: on cookies. Can we all tell what Scotty you did earlier?

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Speaker 1: Scotty laugh hearted, Andrew made me laugh so hard that

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Speaker 1: I farted by mistake. What did I tell you? It

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Speaker 1: was so funny because I want to fart. He it's

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Speaker 1: not that he told me something, but he does this

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Speaker 1: voice that pretends to be me, and it makes me

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Speaker 1: laugh really hard until you fart, until I fart something

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Speaker 1: about that's very satisfying. But the best part to me

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Speaker 1: was that apparently it was a very teeny fart. It

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Speaker 1: was like it was just a squeaker squeaker. I tell you,

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Speaker 1: I don't think I've ever farted in the studio ever,

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Speaker 1: and all the time I've been here because I'm always

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Speaker 1: nervous that someone's gonna walk in, so I don't do

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Speaker 1: it in here. Ever, so that would just snuck out.

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Speaker 1: He usually go into the hallway to take a fart.

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Speaker 1: I'd go to the bathroom. Yeah, well, Elvius, you know

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Speaker 1: my theory. Remember what my theory is. They could have

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Speaker 1: They could have solved the whole movie um with Tom

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Speaker 1: Hanks and the Wilson what was it called. They could

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Speaker 1: have soft casting. I'll have to do is fart on

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Speaker 1: that island? Seven people would have showed up. An everybody

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Speaker 1: shows up, you could be alone and nobody within a

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Speaker 1: thousand miles. So I must have farted. Nate came back Elvis.

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Speaker 1: I have a confession. Nit, are you farting? Why don't

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Speaker 1: you turn your ass towards Elvis? What requested that sound

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Speaker 1: I made that day? Remember that? What was that before?

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Speaker 1: Didn't we go on vacation and didn't make a sound? Yeahthing? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: something happened, Something happened to you requested that. It was

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Speaker 1: like it was something like that, Yeah, what were you doing?

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Speaker 1: What are you doing? Where you going try to have

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Speaker 1: a meeting? What is that You're going to a meeting

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Speaker 1: that requires a key? Well, yeah, well I gotta do

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Speaker 1: a three two four two. And I figured while I

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Speaker 1: was up there, I just go to the office. You're

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Speaker 1: gonna go to two and then go to a meeting. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: well assume me. We've talked about zoom from the Elvis

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Speaker 1: can zoom from the crap. I have a fart confession

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Speaker 1: to make it. We don't farts. Fart fesshion. Yeah. A

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Speaker 1: couple of days ago after the show, I took my

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Speaker 1: laptop of my headphones and I'm walking back to our office. Now,

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Speaker 1: to get to the office, you have to go a

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Speaker 1: straight line and make a left down a long hallway,

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Speaker 1: so I kind of needed to. I felt like coming on.

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Speaker 1: So I was going down the hall and then Garrett

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Speaker 1: popped out of his studio, so I'm like, I dodged him.

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Speaker 1: Then Sam popped out of her studio, and I dodged her,

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Speaker 1: and I just made it into the morning show Bullpen

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Speaker 1: as I was walking and I got a little too

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Speaker 1: and I thought it was alone in the room, and

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Speaker 1: then Diana was over by her table and I tried

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Speaker 1: to make noise at my desk to cover it up,

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Speaker 1: like it wasn't that what she heard. I was like,

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Speaker 1: Diana and I like had a topper world with me,

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Speaker 1: so I was like, I popped open the top of rod.

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Speaker 1: I tried to make my shoe my sneak. Did you

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Speaker 1: hear me, Dianna? Well, thank god? But I felt like

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Speaker 1: she I standing right there. I felt like because she

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Speaker 1: smiled when you told the fart story, I'm like, she

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Speaker 1: heard it. You told the stories. If you you had

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Speaker 1: the ball, you're running for the end zone. Yeah, that's

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Speaker 1: what it was. I was like, if I could just

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Speaker 1: make it to the back office, here's the fart inducer.

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Speaker 1: Now there's fart inducer. It was a lart. He learned.

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Speaker 1: It was a laugh art. He said, you used some

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Speaker 1: voice that you always used and it made him laugh.

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Speaker 1: What voice is he talking about, Elvis? It's this one.

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Speaker 1: I'm doing anything for you, Scotty. Yes, oh Elvis, do

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Speaker 1: you want to watch me eat this banana? Oh? It's

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Speaker 1: on camera New Wivies. Well, I don't know if this

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Speaker 1: is it's explicit the noise and then that's a laughing gas. Oh,

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Speaker 1: well you know what. He also when he eats bananas

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Speaker 1: when specifically when you're around, they just go a little

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Speaker 1: too deep where he's almost like, Elvis, I just get

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Speaker 1: every time certain things that you say, like you like

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Speaker 1: the doors closed, Scott likes the doors open. You came

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Speaker 1: in once and you were like, why are these doors open?

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Speaker 1: I like them clothes. You're like, I like them too, Elvis,

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Speaker 1: I like the cloes. You are some spirits? What can

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Speaker 1: I say? I hear the voices and we do the

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Speaker 1: show on the banana sound again, just real quick? Do

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Speaker 1: you see how I don't gag? It's all you know?

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Speaker 1: So is that a brown do's attempt as well? I

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Speaker 1: love people that say they can't yeh, Actually you can't

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Speaker 1: because you are I can't. Well, yeah you can't. Don't

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Speaker 1: you see how I could fart from that? Yeah? I

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Speaker 1: think I almost did. That would be my favorite this week,

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Speaker 1: Bana almost. You should go in tomorrow and say you

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Speaker 1: love the doors closed and see if Scotty then agrees

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Speaker 1: that you as well. Well, here Kimes, Garrett, Garrett, we're

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Speaker 1: almost done. Where have you been fixing problems? Can you share? No? No, no,

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Speaker 1: it's no. We'll lose a lot of revenue day, dude.

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Speaker 1: You know what. We have the magic of editing here.

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Speaker 1: We make things all work. We love a little snip

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Speaker 1: snip here, snip snip this, snip snip everywhere in the show.

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Speaker 1: It's us all right, Now, what I don't know. I

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Speaker 1: don't know, Gret. You know, we came up with all

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Speaker 1: the content for the first half. Now you have to

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Speaker 1: carry this half, all right, it's about it, you know what.

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Speaker 1: I was thinking it might be a little bit too

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Speaker 1: serious right now though, and with your birthday tomorrow. I've

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Speaker 1: been looking at life and things have been going super

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Speaker 1: fast for me over the last like three weeks. The

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Speaker 1: older you get, the faster they go. Well, but it

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Speaker 1: almost feels like that movie with Adam Sandler Click, where

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Speaker 1: I've been trying to figure out how do I how

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Speaker 1: do I slow things? Don't? Honestly, it feels like yesterday

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Speaker 1: was four weeks ago, you know what I mean? Like it.

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Speaker 1: I don't know what to do like it's you know

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Speaker 1: what I've found waking up earlier and going to bed later,

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Speaker 1: make your days longer, and do things in between the

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Speaker 1: two that are meaningful, and don't sit there and just

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Speaker 1: fall in a hole on these stupid fucking phones. Don't

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Speaker 1: binge watch things, do things that are more meaningful. I'll

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Speaker 1: try it. Make your life guarantees, make your life crappier.

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Speaker 1: Sit in the couch with no TV, no lights on

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Speaker 1: in the house, and it'll seem like an eternity that

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Speaker 1: I got COVID the first night of COVID, laying on

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Speaker 1: the air mattress in the basement with all the lights off,

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Speaker 1: with that headache. And this is the longest day ever.

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Speaker 1: It's never going in. Yeah, it always goes slower when

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Speaker 1: you're miserable, or you know what, you want to make

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Speaker 1: your days seem longer. Sit in this fucking room for

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Speaker 1: four hours. Everything. God, I feel like we've been here

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Speaker 1: all day. So far, we have been so far, we've

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Speaker 1: been here. So he's going slowly for you and quickly

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Speaker 1: for you. Yeah, one quickly for me. Hey, Can I

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Speaker 1: ask a question? Or do we done? Are any of

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Speaker 1: you stash holes? Like so? I was at the supermarket

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Speaker 1: and you know, like you have something in your car

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Speaker 1: and then all of a sudden you don't want it

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Speaker 1: and you just put it wherever you are. I saw

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Speaker 1: a hungry man dinner in the rack of candy by

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Speaker 1: the register the other day. You can't do that with

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Speaker 1: frozen food. Just put him back. I think that Froggy's

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Speaker 1: about to say the same. It tries to be crazy.

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Speaker 1: I put stuff back if I see it, just pick

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Speaker 1: it up. I'll move it no, I'll go I'll put

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Speaker 1: If I don't want something, I'll go all the way

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Speaker 1: back too and put it right. It depends because if

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Speaker 1: I'm already in the line waiting to pay and I

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Speaker 1: decide I don't want it, I'll usually give it to

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Speaker 1: the lady you don't. I would never stick it into

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Speaker 1: the wrong shelf, but I would give it to the

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Speaker 1: people cash. Like I've seen, like, you know, sushi on

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Speaker 1: top of the paper towels. That's terrible, and then they'll

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Speaker 1: go put that back in the You know, there's nothing

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Speaker 1: worse than someone who someone who goes to the butcher

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Speaker 1: and they get like three steaks wrapped up and then

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Speaker 1: they put in the cereal want I like the people

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Speaker 1: who grabbed for a box is something and in like

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Speaker 1: six boxes fall on the floor and they walk away.

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Speaker 1: You know, I feel like I have to pick them up.

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Speaker 1: But when I say something to them first, like you

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Speaker 1: should pick them up, but you don't leave them there.

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Speaker 1: Do you like if somebody would right front, would like

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Speaker 1: someone else knocks it down, I pick it up, you

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Speaker 1: feel Daniel would laugh. The old lady in the little

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Speaker 1: Rascal get around thing will knock into the shaking big

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Speaker 1: display on the end cap and the the whole thing will

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Speaker 1: go over at a hundred bucks. Let's go everywhere. That's funny. Well,

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Speaker 1: she's on that machine, so you don't want And there

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Speaker 1: before people who don't put the carts back in the

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Speaker 1: cart the corral. I saw this lady right next to

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Speaker 1: me did that. She just put the car up on

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Speaker 1: like the little median, and I said, there are I'll

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Speaker 1: get that for you. I was at Wegman's and the

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Speaker 1: guy was parked two cars from the cart wreck, and

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Speaker 1: he put there. He put the cart behind the other car,

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Speaker 1: like to the right, which is one car away from

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Speaker 1: the thing. I said, I said, excuse me, you know

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Speaker 1: the cart wrecks right there. He said, fuck, you missed

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Speaker 1: the officer guy. She said, okay, at that point that's

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Speaker 1: usually what I said. Yeah, you know what, You're right,

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Speaker 1: fuck me, Fuck me. I'm the guy that's trying to

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Speaker 1: be nice. Yeah, you know what, I'm the asshole. Not yeah,

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Speaker 1: here trying to teach you a lesson. He the Wegman's park.

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Speaker 1: Had he not been larger than me, he would have,

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Speaker 1: but froggy, he was a big man. All right, are

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Speaker 1: we done? I think too hot? How long I been

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Speaker 1: on almost twelve minutes. Garrett. Garrett would say two seconds

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Speaker 1: because his life's flying. That's right, Wow, Garrett, maybe we

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Speaker 1: should just leave it like Garrett finish up. Yeah you can.

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Speaker 1: I mean, if you want, it'll feel like the longest

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Speaker 1: three minutes of your life. That's right. We'll slow your

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Speaker 1: life down. Let's get out of here. It's too hot

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Speaker 1: to go to fifteen minutes. You guys, have a beautiful day. Sorry.

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Speaker 1: The fifteen Minute Morning Show