1 00:00:02,320 --> 00:00:04,720 Speaker 1: I'm a homegrow that knows a little bit about everything 2 00:00:04,800 --> 00:00:05,640 Speaker 1: and everybody. 3 00:00:05,680 --> 00:00:07,600 Speaker 2: You don't know if you don't lie about that. 4 00:00:07,680 --> 00:00:15,040 Speaker 1: Right, Hey, y'all, what's up. It's Laura l Rosa and 5 00:00:15,200 --> 00:00:18,560 Speaker 1: this is the Latest with Laura de Rosa. This is 6 00:00:18,600 --> 00:00:22,120 Speaker 1: your Deli dig on all things pop culture, entertainment, news, 7 00:00:22,400 --> 00:00:26,480 Speaker 1: and all of the conversations that shake the room. Baby. 8 00:00:27,320 --> 00:00:27,440 Speaker 3: Uh. 9 00:00:27,560 --> 00:00:30,159 Speaker 1: Today we have a mixture of the two. And so 10 00:00:30,640 --> 00:00:34,760 Speaker 1: I love conversations and news and topics that kind of 11 00:00:34,760 --> 00:00:36,840 Speaker 1: live right there now. So I made that the tagline 12 00:00:36,880 --> 00:00:41,520 Speaker 1: for this podcast. So jumping right on into the latest, Uh, 13 00:00:41,640 --> 00:00:46,120 Speaker 1: we had doctor Joelle Tudman on the Breakfast Club. Doctor 14 00:00:46,200 --> 00:00:50,159 Speaker 1: Joel Tubman is a faith leader. He's an actor, a 15 00:00:50,200 --> 00:00:54,160 Speaker 1: mental health advocate, and an author. He's actually a USA 16 00:00:54,200 --> 00:00:58,520 Speaker 1: Today a best selling author. His book that he was 17 00:00:58,560 --> 00:01:00,760 Speaker 1: on the Breakfast Club to promote, which is called The 18 00:01:00,760 --> 00:01:03,960 Speaker 1: Fight to Find Yourself, recently was named one the USA 19 00:01:04,160 --> 00:01:08,280 Speaker 1: USA Today's best sellers. Currently available for purchase. This book 20 00:01:08,319 --> 00:01:12,800 Speaker 1: about finding yourself. It b This is the definition written 21 00:01:12,840 --> 00:01:17,240 Speaker 1: on his website. It blends practical teaching with deeply personal stories, 22 00:01:17,600 --> 00:01:21,920 Speaker 1: guided readers through the challenges of grief, confusion, and identity 23 00:01:21,959 --> 00:01:26,760 Speaker 1: toward renewed hope, joy and self discovery. This book, to me, 24 00:01:27,160 --> 00:01:31,240 Speaker 1: was all about It was a very honest I mean 25 00:01:31,319 --> 00:01:33,080 Speaker 1: for what I know, I don't know. I didn't know 26 00:01:33,120 --> 00:01:35,520 Speaker 1: doctor Joel Tudman before I met him at the breakfast 27 00:01:35,560 --> 00:01:37,480 Speaker 1: club prior to our conversation that I'm about to talk 28 00:01:37,480 --> 00:01:41,280 Speaker 1: to you guys about. But taking him at his word 29 00:01:42,080 --> 00:01:45,720 Speaker 1: and he is a pastor, this book is all about 30 00:01:45,760 --> 00:01:51,320 Speaker 1: a very honest look into going from who am I, 31 00:01:51,720 --> 00:01:54,520 Speaker 1: Why am I? And why am I doing? Why am 32 00:01:54,560 --> 00:01:56,760 Speaker 1: I processing this way? Why am I thinking this way? 33 00:01:57,120 --> 00:02:01,160 Speaker 1: And all of those things to knowing and understand exactly 34 00:02:01,440 --> 00:02:04,160 Speaker 1: the answer to those questions, and that guiding how you 35 00:02:04,240 --> 00:02:07,960 Speaker 1: are maneuvering throughout the world from relationships, I mean, like 36 00:02:08,080 --> 00:02:11,639 Speaker 1: you know, personal relationships like wayfrom girlfriend, wife, husband, well 37 00:02:11,760 --> 00:02:14,760 Speaker 1: in his instance, his wife, his relationship with his children, 38 00:02:15,280 --> 00:02:17,720 Speaker 1: decisions he was making in his personal life and career, 39 00:02:17,880 --> 00:02:20,560 Speaker 1: and you know, just a lot of different things. And 40 00:02:20,600 --> 00:02:22,160 Speaker 1: it's kind of like a book that teaches you how 41 00:02:22,160 --> 00:02:25,119 Speaker 1: to work through as you're on your own own fight 42 00:02:25,200 --> 00:02:29,200 Speaker 1: to figure this out. So he's at the breakfast club 43 00:02:29,320 --> 00:02:33,079 Speaker 1: and we get into a conversation about me and about 44 00:02:33,120 --> 00:02:35,560 Speaker 1: the fact that I am still figuring out a lot 45 00:02:35,560 --> 00:02:37,080 Speaker 1: of things, and I don't run from that. Let's take 46 00:02:37,080 --> 00:02:40,480 Speaker 1: a listen to the conversation. There's certain conversations I've never had. 47 00:02:40,520 --> 00:02:42,880 Speaker 1: Like we had a financial conversation the other day and 48 00:02:42,880 --> 00:02:44,040 Speaker 1: I was like, no one has ever. 49 00:02:44,120 --> 00:02:45,000 Speaker 2: It's the first time you had it. 50 00:02:46,360 --> 00:02:49,960 Speaker 1: It's very new. But so it's been some months, but 51 00:02:50,040 --> 00:02:53,040 Speaker 1: we've been dating for longer than that. But we've been 52 00:02:53,120 --> 00:02:55,440 Speaker 1: dating for about a year. But officially. 53 00:02:57,919 --> 00:02:59,480 Speaker 2: That is not new. I wish I had a computers, 54 00:02:59,480 --> 00:03:00,359 Speaker 2: like do you like doing me? 55 00:03:02,040 --> 00:03:05,720 Speaker 1: I think I've had to learn. You've had to learn 56 00:03:05,919 --> 00:03:10,440 Speaker 1: how to be very different in this stage in my life, 57 00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:12,840 Speaker 1: not even relationship, just because of like career and a 58 00:03:12,840 --> 00:03:15,400 Speaker 1: lot of things. So I took a lot more time 59 00:03:15,919 --> 00:03:19,840 Speaker 1: with certain things this time around sex, like being in 60 00:03:19,880 --> 00:03:22,240 Speaker 1: public with each other. I took time before I did that. 61 00:03:22,360 --> 00:03:26,079 Speaker 1: It's still not in public sneaky videos and see, we're 62 00:03:26,120 --> 00:03:27,120 Speaker 1: still taking our time. 63 00:03:31,480 --> 00:03:33,079 Speaker 2: The path. Have you slept with him within three and 64 00:03:33,160 --> 00:03:37,440 Speaker 2: sixty five days since? Okay? You have? 65 00:03:37,680 --> 00:03:40,440 Speaker 3: You have had sex with this man multiple times? H 66 00:03:41,440 --> 00:03:43,640 Speaker 3: look at your mind. You've slept with this man. You 67 00:03:43,680 --> 00:03:46,760 Speaker 3: have a smile on your face, you are. You're enjoying 68 00:03:46,840 --> 00:03:49,400 Speaker 3: that you have slept with this man multiple times. You 69 00:03:49,440 --> 00:03:52,520 Speaker 3: should be that enthusiastic about everything else. 70 00:03:53,280 --> 00:03:55,200 Speaker 1: But I'm saying this is the first time that I am. 71 00:03:55,480 --> 00:03:58,520 Speaker 1: Like in other situations, there have been things that I when. 72 00:03:58,440 --> 00:04:00,320 Speaker 2: Did you find out about his credit? And what month? 73 00:04:01,240 --> 00:04:03,760 Speaker 1: Probably like within the first month, then. 74 00:04:03,640 --> 00:04:06,080 Speaker 3: When did you sleep with him? You don't want to 75 00:04:06,120 --> 00:04:09,160 Speaker 3: tell me, Okay, what this is not? No, I'm just 76 00:04:09,600 --> 00:04:11,240 Speaker 3: you know, I don't even want to go there, but 77 00:04:11,720 --> 00:04:12,119 Speaker 3: you just pray. 78 00:04:12,200 --> 00:04:13,560 Speaker 2: Now, let's just get this. 79 00:04:13,800 --> 00:04:15,360 Speaker 1: I want to get this thought out because I want 80 00:04:15,360 --> 00:04:16,560 Speaker 1: to hear what you have to say. Because one of 81 00:04:16,600 --> 00:04:19,280 Speaker 1: the things I enjoyed learning was how you and your 82 00:04:19,320 --> 00:04:22,200 Speaker 1: wife are in your fight, because one of the things 83 00:04:22,200 --> 00:04:24,400 Speaker 1: I've realized with us is we're both in kind of 84 00:04:24,440 --> 00:04:27,400 Speaker 1: like the trying to figure out our life separate of 85 00:04:27,440 --> 00:04:30,160 Speaker 1: a relationship, but it just so happens that we're together 86 00:04:30,279 --> 00:04:32,719 Speaker 1: doing it now. And I thought that it was great 87 00:04:32,760 --> 00:04:34,840 Speaker 1: how she knows, how she knew how to support you, 88 00:04:35,200 --> 00:04:36,880 Speaker 1: and because sometimes things can feel like. 89 00:04:36,920 --> 00:04:39,560 Speaker 2: This is my wife, you're his girlfriend, yes. 90 00:04:39,320 --> 00:04:41,920 Speaker 1: But still even in frank not even in friend. 91 00:04:41,800 --> 00:04:44,800 Speaker 3: It's just a completely different responsibility and a completely different. 92 00:04:44,600 --> 00:04:47,240 Speaker 1: Role, but take out relationship like boyf and girlfriends. Even 93 00:04:47,279 --> 00:04:50,400 Speaker 1: in friendships, right, there are times where you feel like 94 00:04:50,440 --> 00:04:52,800 Speaker 1: you're giving more to a friendship than you're receiving. And 95 00:04:52,839 --> 00:04:55,800 Speaker 1: you talked about vulnerability and vulnerability being a bad thing. 96 00:04:55,800 --> 00:04:57,840 Speaker 1: That was the first time I've ever heard somebody say that. 97 00:04:58,160 --> 00:04:59,920 Speaker 1: And the reason why I brought it up is because 98 00:05:00,680 --> 00:05:03,560 Speaker 1: in situations like this, when things do feel good, you're 99 00:05:03,600 --> 00:05:06,760 Speaker 1: always wondering, am I allowing certain things to happen because 100 00:05:06,800 --> 00:05:09,360 Speaker 1: it feels good? Or is it really where it's supposed 101 00:05:09,400 --> 00:05:13,280 Speaker 1: to be? Relationship, friendship, whatever? How do you deal with 102 00:05:13,440 --> 00:05:13,960 Speaker 1: that thought? 103 00:05:14,120 --> 00:05:15,680 Speaker 3: I don't want to go to that thought because I 104 00:05:15,720 --> 00:05:17,880 Speaker 3: want to go back to your first original thought. 105 00:05:18,040 --> 00:05:20,360 Speaker 2: This is an escape, go back to where we were. 106 00:05:20,920 --> 00:05:21,400 Speaker 1: Go ahead. 107 00:05:21,600 --> 00:05:23,000 Speaker 2: When did you find out about his credit? 108 00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:26,120 Speaker 1: First month or first month of us being in a relationship, 109 00:05:26,120 --> 00:05:27,159 Speaker 1: not the first month of us dating. 110 00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:29,119 Speaker 2: Did y'all talk about your faith? 111 00:05:29,640 --> 00:05:32,800 Speaker 1: Yes? When that was probably like one of our first 112 00:05:33,520 --> 00:05:37,040 Speaker 1: in person conversations, our first time in person, that happy 113 00:05:37,080 --> 00:05:40,440 Speaker 1: hour conversation. I was sitting there and I'm like, man, 114 00:05:40,480 --> 00:05:42,640 Speaker 1: this man is amazing, Like I would love to get 115 00:05:42,640 --> 00:05:44,320 Speaker 1: to know more about him, not just as myself. 116 00:05:44,320 --> 00:05:45,039 Speaker 2: Now, let me ask you this. 117 00:05:45,080 --> 00:05:48,839 Speaker 3: When you said that, where were you psychologically emotionally? Did 118 00:05:48,839 --> 00:05:51,280 Speaker 3: you know yourself before you made that decision? 119 00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:53,520 Speaker 1: No, I don't think I fully know myself. 120 00:05:53,560 --> 00:05:56,280 Speaker 2: Now, how much of yourself do you know? What do 121 00:05:56,320 --> 00:05:57,240 Speaker 2: you know about yourself? 122 00:05:57,880 --> 00:05:59,839 Speaker 1: Well, I know a lot about myself, but I don't 123 00:05:59,839 --> 00:06:02,280 Speaker 1: think that I'm fully through like my fight. 124 00:06:02,240 --> 00:06:04,559 Speaker 2: Like how you so you're still fighting one hundred. 125 00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:07,560 Speaker 1: I didn't even begin the fight, honestly, probably until this year, 126 00:06:07,600 --> 00:06:08,920 Speaker 1: because I didn't know that it was a fight to 127 00:06:08,960 --> 00:06:09,240 Speaker 1: be had. 128 00:06:09,279 --> 00:06:12,040 Speaker 3: I just figured that's so powerful because I just told 129 00:06:12,120 --> 00:06:15,120 Speaker 3: him that that sometimes when you were in a relationship, 130 00:06:15,720 --> 00:06:17,280 Speaker 3: this is not your relationship. 131 00:06:17,360 --> 00:06:18,560 Speaker 1: Oh hey, I'm enjoying this. 132 00:06:18,839 --> 00:06:21,560 Speaker 3: I think sometimes when you're in a relationship, when you 133 00:06:21,640 --> 00:06:26,880 Speaker 3: get healed, when you actually find you, it opens up 134 00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:29,560 Speaker 3: your eyes so much that you start looking at all 135 00:06:29,600 --> 00:06:32,599 Speaker 3: of your choices and all of your decisions, and you 136 00:06:32,600 --> 00:06:38,200 Speaker 3: can see the unhealthy picks, the unhealthy partners, the unhealthy conversations. 137 00:06:38,600 --> 00:06:44,360 Speaker 1: Okay, Now I have had people calling me about this conversation, 138 00:06:45,120 --> 00:06:48,479 Speaker 1: text to me about the conversation, and I have not 139 00:06:49,240 --> 00:06:52,320 Speaker 1: responded nor answered any of it because I wanted to 140 00:06:52,360 --> 00:06:54,800 Speaker 1: come to the podcast the Ladys with one of the 141 00:06:54,839 --> 00:06:57,919 Speaker 1: Roads and have a very honest conversation and reaction to 142 00:06:58,760 --> 00:07:04,479 Speaker 1: the conversation without other people's like feelings and well why 143 00:07:04,520 --> 00:07:06,840 Speaker 1: did it like, you know, all of that getting into it. 144 00:07:07,480 --> 00:07:11,440 Speaker 1: So I see nothing wrong with the conversation. If I 145 00:07:11,480 --> 00:07:13,680 Speaker 1: did in the moment, I would have said I don't 146 00:07:13,680 --> 00:07:16,160 Speaker 1: want to have this conversation anymore. I felt like I 147 00:07:16,320 --> 00:07:19,200 Speaker 1: was in a position where if that's what I wanted 148 00:07:19,200 --> 00:07:20,840 Speaker 1: to do or say, I could have done that. That's 149 00:07:20,880 --> 00:07:25,840 Speaker 1: number one. Number Two, I think it's really tough to 150 00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:29,480 Speaker 1: be vulnerable in front of the world on a platform 151 00:07:29,800 --> 00:07:32,200 Speaker 1: like the Breakfast Club. You know, you got millions of 152 00:07:32,240 --> 00:07:37,280 Speaker 1: listeners across radio, millions of viewers across social media. Very 153 00:07:37,360 --> 00:07:41,520 Speaker 1: very difficult, right. But I think that conversations like this 154 00:07:41,680 --> 00:07:46,400 Speaker 1: that are very honest, that are very vulnerable, that might 155 00:07:46,400 --> 00:07:48,240 Speaker 1: be a little bit uncomfortable. Because there were points where 156 00:07:48,280 --> 00:07:50,080 Speaker 1: I was uncomfortable, But it wasn't because I didn't want 157 00:07:50,080 --> 00:07:52,080 Speaker 1: to have the conversation. It was Number one. I felt, Okay, 158 00:07:52,320 --> 00:07:55,840 Speaker 1: this is a lot to be saying to number one, 159 00:07:55,840 --> 00:07:58,840 Speaker 1: a pastor, but also this is a lot to just 160 00:07:58,920 --> 00:08:01,800 Speaker 1: be saying to a pastor or someone that I don't 161 00:08:01,840 --> 00:08:05,320 Speaker 1: know personally, So there's a lot of like background things 162 00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:08,040 Speaker 1: and you know, just all of that that he's not 163 00:08:08,080 --> 00:08:10,400 Speaker 1: going to know or understand because he doesn't know me. 164 00:08:10,520 --> 00:08:14,000 Speaker 1: This is our second time meeting. But I wasn't uncomfortable 165 00:08:14,040 --> 00:08:15,440 Speaker 1: in the conversation to the point where I didn't want 166 00:08:15,480 --> 00:08:17,640 Speaker 1: to have it. It was more like I felt like, 167 00:08:17,720 --> 00:08:20,160 Speaker 1: at a certain point, Okay, I'm trying to explain things 168 00:08:20,760 --> 00:08:25,720 Speaker 1: like I'm trying to explain the sky being blue to 169 00:08:25,800 --> 00:08:29,360 Speaker 1: a person who doesn't have their eyes open enough to 170 00:08:29,400 --> 00:08:32,400 Speaker 1: see the sky is blue, and not because they're malicious 171 00:08:32,480 --> 00:08:34,640 Speaker 1: or their intent is to harm me or to try 172 00:08:34,679 --> 00:08:38,800 Speaker 1: and you know, be aggressive with me, or you know, 173 00:08:38,920 --> 00:08:41,720 Speaker 1: just embarrassing me or anything like that, just because naturally, 174 00:08:42,640 --> 00:08:44,600 Speaker 1: if you're walking into a situation where you don't know 175 00:08:44,679 --> 00:08:47,880 Speaker 1: someone or know all of the surrounding facts, you're kind 176 00:08:47,880 --> 00:08:50,960 Speaker 1: of put at a you're kind of putting like he 177 00:08:50,960 --> 00:08:53,120 Speaker 1: could only speak to me about the things we were 178 00:08:53,160 --> 00:08:56,840 Speaker 1: having a conversation about in that moment, and I'm like, okay, 179 00:08:56,880 --> 00:08:58,760 Speaker 1: I don't think and he even said it in the conversation, 180 00:08:58,840 --> 00:09:02,000 Speaker 1: He's Okay, this is a long conversation because I think 181 00:09:02,040 --> 00:09:04,199 Speaker 1: even he began to realize, there's no way we can 182 00:09:04,240 --> 00:09:06,640 Speaker 1: have this conversation right here and this amount of time 183 00:09:06,679 --> 00:09:09,319 Speaker 1: that we have, and you gather enough from me in 184 00:09:09,320 --> 00:09:13,280 Speaker 1: a situation to really be able to coach me through this. 185 00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:16,120 Speaker 1: And the reason why we ended up here is because 186 00:09:16,200 --> 00:09:19,400 Speaker 1: I think, not even think. It is because I know 187 00:09:20,040 --> 00:09:24,000 Speaker 1: that at this point in my life, I've just been 188 00:09:24,080 --> 00:09:26,320 Speaker 1: so different about a lot of things that I'm doing, 189 00:09:26,360 --> 00:09:27,680 Speaker 1: a lot of the people that are in my life, 190 00:09:27,679 --> 00:09:29,439 Speaker 1: a lot of the people that I communicate with every 191 00:09:29,480 --> 00:09:32,120 Speaker 1: day versus that I don't choose to communicate with every 192 00:09:32,200 --> 00:09:36,000 Speaker 1: day things I'm involving myself in. And I'm not perfect. 193 00:09:36,559 --> 00:09:39,079 Speaker 1: I still crash out every now and then, you know 194 00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:40,840 Speaker 1: what I'm saying. I'm not a queen crash out no 195 00:09:40,880 --> 00:09:43,600 Speaker 1: more but grab the crowd every now and then. But yeah, 196 00:09:43,600 --> 00:09:46,400 Speaker 1: I just things have just been different and and have changed, 197 00:09:46,440 --> 00:09:47,800 Speaker 1: and I think a lot of it is, you know, 198 00:09:48,280 --> 00:09:51,920 Speaker 1: my age, I'm getting older. Also career wise, things are 199 00:09:51,960 --> 00:09:53,840 Speaker 1: in a different place, and you know, there's always a 200 00:09:53,880 --> 00:09:57,040 Speaker 1: thing of protecting that, but also not even just protecting 201 00:09:57,120 --> 00:10:00,000 Speaker 1: and wanting to gain, because I think I'm keeping everything. 202 00:10:00,480 --> 00:10:03,439 Speaker 1: It's more so about my intention as I'm trying to 203 00:10:03,480 --> 00:10:05,520 Speaker 1: really figure out my intention and a lot of the 204 00:10:05,600 --> 00:10:07,720 Speaker 1: things that I'm doing people, I'm interacting with, people, I'm 205 00:10:07,720 --> 00:10:10,840 Speaker 1: allowing in my life and in my personal space, the ideas, 206 00:10:10,920 --> 00:10:13,960 Speaker 1: the thoughts, the you know, everything on my day to day. 207 00:10:14,760 --> 00:10:17,520 Speaker 1: As I'm trying to figure that out, I'm learning that 208 00:10:17,559 --> 00:10:19,640 Speaker 1: there's a lot of things that I have to unlearn 209 00:10:19,760 --> 00:10:23,160 Speaker 1: and do completely different. And that's my fight, and that's 210 00:10:23,160 --> 00:10:26,520 Speaker 1: what I'm going through literally daily. That is what I'm 211 00:10:26,600 --> 00:10:30,000 Speaker 1: going through as my fight to figure out who Lauren 212 00:10:30,080 --> 00:10:34,240 Speaker 1: really is. And I think I've always been like a 213 00:10:34,320 --> 00:10:38,800 Speaker 1: very confident person, knowing myself enough to know, Okay, here 214 00:10:38,840 --> 00:10:40,240 Speaker 1: are the goals I want to set for the year, 215 00:10:40,280 --> 00:10:43,080 Speaker 1: Here's what I want to get done. If I experience 216 00:10:43,120 --> 00:10:44,880 Speaker 1: something I don't like, I'm not afraid to say I 217 00:10:44,880 --> 00:10:46,640 Speaker 1: don't like it. If I experience something I love, I'm 218 00:10:46,640 --> 00:10:49,080 Speaker 1: not afraid to say, hey, I love it. But I 219 00:10:49,120 --> 00:10:53,800 Speaker 1: think that there's a deeper fight to find yourself when 220 00:10:53,840 --> 00:10:58,000 Speaker 1: you really I've been just in a real space of 221 00:10:58,960 --> 00:11:00,959 Speaker 1: I don't want to just be happy to be anywhere, 222 00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:02,719 Speaker 1: and I don't want to just be anywhere. And I 223 00:11:02,760 --> 00:11:04,640 Speaker 1: don't mean that by oh, I'm put up, I'm in 224 00:11:04,679 --> 00:11:06,440 Speaker 1: the crabe, I'm the outside on the couches, because every 225 00:11:06,480 --> 00:11:08,080 Speaker 1: now and then you're gonna catch me on some couches. 226 00:11:08,720 --> 00:11:11,760 Speaker 1: But I mean that in the sense of like why, 227 00:11:11,960 --> 00:11:15,400 Speaker 1: what is the why? And the more I think about that, 228 00:11:16,280 --> 00:11:20,840 Speaker 1: the more I'm open to having these conversations because I 229 00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:23,960 Speaker 1: think a lot of people that have anything going on 230 00:11:24,040 --> 00:11:27,080 Speaker 1: for themselves, whether your career is propping right now and 231 00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:29,240 Speaker 1: you got the you know, the ideal family and the 232 00:11:29,240 --> 00:11:32,320 Speaker 1: picture frame that everybody wants you bind you out here 233 00:11:32,520 --> 00:11:35,200 Speaker 1: being able to shop and get fly and lift whatever 234 00:11:35,360 --> 00:11:38,800 Speaker 1: is the highlight of your like success or like what 235 00:11:38,880 --> 00:11:42,560 Speaker 1: success looks like to you. Whenever you are on a 236 00:11:42,720 --> 00:11:45,840 Speaker 1: very strong path to that and things are working out, 237 00:11:46,160 --> 00:11:48,280 Speaker 1: people look at you like, Okay, you got everything together, 238 00:11:48,800 --> 00:11:51,240 Speaker 1: so you must know yourself. You must you must have 239 00:11:51,320 --> 00:11:54,760 Speaker 1: found yourself like all of those things, Like people don't 240 00:11:54,760 --> 00:11:56,640 Speaker 1: realize that two things can also be true. And I 241 00:11:56,640 --> 00:11:59,280 Speaker 1: think for me, I think the beauty and what I'm 242 00:11:59,320 --> 00:12:03,680 Speaker 1: experiencing right now is and if I'm being honest with y'all, 243 00:12:04,160 --> 00:12:07,480 Speaker 1: I think a lot of the reason why when you 244 00:12:07,520 --> 00:12:09,720 Speaker 1: guys are meeting me here on the latest with along 245 00:12:09,760 --> 00:12:11,600 Speaker 1: the roads of the podcast, or you're meeting me over 246 00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:14,560 Speaker 1: at the breakfast club. You stick along for the journey 247 00:12:14,640 --> 00:12:16,800 Speaker 1: to figure out, you know, what's happening the next day, 248 00:12:16,880 --> 00:12:20,120 Speaker 1: the next week, the next month. Because because I've been 249 00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:22,120 Speaker 1: very honest about the fact that I don't have it 250 00:12:22,120 --> 00:12:26,520 Speaker 1: all together, I'm gonna mess up. I'm gonna you know, 251 00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:31,440 Speaker 1: I'm an overachiever about a lot. Sometimes that's great for me. 252 00:12:31,679 --> 00:12:35,800 Speaker 1: Sometimes that hinders me. I don't have every answer that like. 253 00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:38,760 Speaker 1: I think there are so many people who don't do 254 00:12:39,760 --> 00:12:44,040 Speaker 1: and don't have those conversations on these platforms, Like I 255 00:12:44,080 --> 00:12:46,480 Speaker 1: just never mind doing it. And I think even bigger 256 00:12:46,520 --> 00:12:51,160 Speaker 1: than myself removing myself, I think that it helps people. 257 00:12:51,280 --> 00:12:53,680 Speaker 1: I don't know all the ways it helps people, because 258 00:12:53,720 --> 00:12:56,079 Speaker 1: people receive things differently depending on what they need at 259 00:12:56,080 --> 00:12:58,920 Speaker 1: the time. But I do think it helps people. To 260 00:12:58,960 --> 00:13:02,360 Speaker 1: be able to hear you be self accountable like that, 261 00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:07,240 Speaker 1: to be able to hear you be a little uncomfortable 262 00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:12,080 Speaker 1: like that, to be able to hear you be just 263 00:13:12,160 --> 00:13:17,719 Speaker 1: like willing to from a very honest place. Just how 264 00:13:17,760 --> 00:13:20,720 Speaker 1: the truth. Yo, this is what's going on. Here's what 265 00:13:20,760 --> 00:13:24,199 Speaker 1: I'm experiencing, here's why, here's what I've changed, Here's why 266 00:13:24,240 --> 00:13:27,080 Speaker 1: I've changed that. And then I think in relationship too. 267 00:13:27,559 --> 00:13:29,960 Speaker 1: You know, for me, I've always wondered like women who 268 00:13:30,040 --> 00:13:33,000 Speaker 1: are super career driven, who have so much going on 269 00:13:33,040 --> 00:13:37,800 Speaker 1: for themselves, and the few of them that are able 270 00:13:37,840 --> 00:13:39,559 Speaker 1: to balance, and I think that that stigma has to 271 00:13:39,600 --> 00:13:41,240 Speaker 1: begin to die down a bit, like you can't have 272 00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:43,840 Speaker 1: it all, but it's hard. But the women that I 273 00:13:43,840 --> 00:13:46,320 Speaker 1: see that are actually in these relationships, that are actually 274 00:13:46,320 --> 00:13:49,520 Speaker 1: in these marriages, and that are actually happy. And I 275 00:13:49,559 --> 00:13:53,280 Speaker 1: don't mean like happy where it's like it's picture perfect, 276 00:13:53,280 --> 00:13:55,520 Speaker 1: do it for the gram, do it for the red carpet, 277 00:13:55,559 --> 00:13:57,640 Speaker 1: like that type of thing. I mean like actually feel 278 00:13:57,640 --> 00:14:00,160 Speaker 1: like they have a partner, a person that like not 279 00:14:00,200 --> 00:14:02,680 Speaker 1: only finishes their sentence but completes their life in a 280 00:14:02,720 --> 00:14:06,600 Speaker 1: real way. They had to get to a place where 281 00:14:07,520 --> 00:14:09,640 Speaker 1: what I'm going through right now in real life, where 282 00:14:09,679 --> 00:14:11,720 Speaker 1: like I'm being like, Okay, I don't want to be 283 00:14:11,880 --> 00:14:13,360 Speaker 1: like this, I don't want to show up like this. 284 00:14:15,280 --> 00:14:17,360 Speaker 1: I also kind of need to be honest about the 285 00:14:17,360 --> 00:14:19,000 Speaker 1: fact that I may show up like there's some days 286 00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:22,680 Speaker 1: in this relationship because it's something that I want to change, 287 00:14:22,680 --> 00:14:24,520 Speaker 1: but it's not something that I have changed yet, and 288 00:14:24,560 --> 00:14:27,120 Speaker 1: like where does it lie if I'm not this perfect person, 289 00:14:27,480 --> 00:14:30,680 Speaker 1: this perfect girl, you know, the cute girl from the 290 00:14:30,760 --> 00:14:32,840 Speaker 1: radio and Instagram and all of that, Like where do 291 00:14:32,920 --> 00:14:36,400 Speaker 1: you lie in my life? And what does your unconditional 292 00:14:36,480 --> 00:14:37,560 Speaker 1: love look like? 293 00:14:38,040 --> 00:14:38,400 Speaker 2: For me? 294 00:14:39,080 --> 00:14:42,640 Speaker 1: And that's not just in relationship with a boyfriend or 295 00:14:42,960 --> 00:14:45,560 Speaker 1: you know, for anybody, or like it's with the male 296 00:14:45,720 --> 00:14:48,960 Speaker 1: and their girlfriend or whoever you're dating. I think about 297 00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:52,240 Speaker 1: that in relationships, just in friendships and work relationships, like 298 00:14:52,880 --> 00:14:55,040 Speaker 1: I have so many common And this conversation even went 299 00:14:55,040 --> 00:14:57,960 Speaker 1: into a conversation about you know, me and Charlemagne and 300 00:14:58,200 --> 00:15:00,600 Speaker 1: and envy and like just our dynamic in a room 301 00:15:00,640 --> 00:15:03,360 Speaker 1: and more so me and Charlottmagne and just you know, 302 00:15:03,600 --> 00:15:08,400 Speaker 1: some things I've learned about myself in being very honest 303 00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:11,000 Speaker 1: and being open to tell people, hey, this is what 304 00:15:11,040 --> 00:15:15,040 Speaker 1: I'm experiencing or this is how I feel, or being 305 00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:17,840 Speaker 1: defensive when maybe I shouldn't have been, or been defensive 306 00:15:17,880 --> 00:15:19,880 Speaker 1: when I should have been. It's opened me up to 307 00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:23,400 Speaker 1: conversations that have really helped me to take a step 308 00:15:23,440 --> 00:15:26,160 Speaker 1: outside myself and just look at things and then from 309 00:15:26,160 --> 00:15:30,000 Speaker 1: there be able to be like, Okay, here's everything I've experienced, 310 00:15:30,440 --> 00:15:34,760 Speaker 1: Here's everything I've learned, Here's everything I haven't learned, but 311 00:15:34,800 --> 00:15:36,320 Speaker 1: I want to learn. I just gotta figure out where 312 00:15:36,320 --> 00:15:41,400 Speaker 1: to learn it from. Because I was open enough to respond, 313 00:15:41,520 --> 00:15:44,000 Speaker 1: or I was open enough to be emotional in a conversation, 314 00:15:44,200 --> 00:15:49,400 Speaker 1: or you know, like I just I just want at 315 00:15:49,400 --> 00:15:52,080 Speaker 1: the end of me finding myself and my path and 316 00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:54,520 Speaker 1: all of this, I really just want people to be 317 00:15:54,560 --> 00:15:59,120 Speaker 1: able to say I've been able to like learn and 318 00:15:59,200 --> 00:16:03,560 Speaker 1: grow and do everything I need to do to further 319 00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:05,320 Speaker 1: progress myself when I get to that point where I 320 00:16:05,320 --> 00:16:07,320 Speaker 1: felt like I'm so stagnant because what else am I 321 00:16:07,320 --> 00:16:10,160 Speaker 1: supposed to do? I'm the smartest person in my friend group, 322 00:16:10,320 --> 00:16:12,920 Speaker 1: or I'm the yo. We were talking about this today 323 00:16:12,920 --> 00:16:15,640 Speaker 1: on the radio, simming from this conversation. It made me 324 00:16:15,640 --> 00:16:18,120 Speaker 1: start thinking too about like how much of my cause 325 00:16:18,400 --> 00:16:20,480 Speaker 1: A lot of the conversation and I want you guys 326 00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:23,080 Speaker 1: to go check out the full interview over on the 327 00:16:23,080 --> 00:16:33,960 Speaker 1: Breakfast Clubs, a YouTube channel. In on the podcast, some 328 00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:36,400 Speaker 1: of the conversation also went into how much of my 329 00:16:36,520 --> 00:16:40,040 Speaker 1: dad not being a consistent person in my life depends 330 00:16:40,320 --> 00:16:43,280 Speaker 1: or has resulted in some of the feelings in a 331 00:16:43,280 --> 00:16:46,480 Speaker 1: different traits that I have, and I took it a 332 00:16:46,480 --> 00:16:48,080 Speaker 1: step further and I'm like, you know, I don't even 333 00:16:48,120 --> 00:16:50,560 Speaker 1: think it was just that, yeah, that contributed to it. 334 00:16:51,400 --> 00:16:53,360 Speaker 1: I realized from the time that I spent with my dad, 335 00:16:53,400 --> 00:16:56,560 Speaker 1: probably like two summers ago, which was probably the most 336 00:16:56,600 --> 00:16:58,720 Speaker 1: consistent time that we ever spent together, in the closest 337 00:16:58,720 --> 00:17:01,040 Speaker 1: time we ever spent together for a few weeks, I 338 00:17:01,120 --> 00:17:04,320 Speaker 1: realized then, like, I've never really understood what it was 339 00:17:04,359 --> 00:17:08,920 Speaker 1: like to trust a man to do anything, to make 340 00:17:08,960 --> 00:17:12,520 Speaker 1: decisions for me, to love me, to lead me, not 341 00:17:12,760 --> 00:17:15,880 Speaker 1: fully like it's different because I have uncles, I have 342 00:17:15,960 --> 00:17:19,240 Speaker 1: a stepdad, like I have a brother, So I have 343 00:17:19,400 --> 00:17:22,320 Speaker 1: been in my life who do certain things, but it's 344 00:17:22,400 --> 00:17:24,840 Speaker 1: different when it's from your dad. And they're also not 345 00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:26,840 Speaker 1: one hundred percent in the way that they show up 346 00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:32,240 Speaker 1: in my life. So I think when you have and 347 00:17:32,320 --> 00:17:34,119 Speaker 1: even with the father thing, I think a lot of 348 00:17:34,160 --> 00:17:35,800 Speaker 1: my friends who did grow up with a father in 349 00:17:35,840 --> 00:17:38,800 Speaker 1: the household experienced disappointment in the same way that I 350 00:17:38,880 --> 00:17:41,199 Speaker 1: have without a father in the household. I think that 351 00:17:41,280 --> 00:17:46,679 Speaker 1: it's a it's a very child like innocence where your 352 00:17:46,760 --> 00:17:50,080 Speaker 1: dad is the super hero, period there are no faults, 353 00:17:50,240 --> 00:17:51,720 Speaker 1: and then you get to a certain point where like 354 00:17:51,760 --> 00:17:54,560 Speaker 1: you realize, oh no, he's human. And it's weird because 355 00:17:54,560 --> 00:17:58,200 Speaker 1: I feel like I've experienced all of those emotions, which 356 00:17:58,200 --> 00:18:00,000 Speaker 1: has brought me to the point of being able to 357 00:18:00,280 --> 00:18:02,240 Speaker 1: be vulnerable and have the conversation like what I had 358 00:18:02,240 --> 00:18:06,800 Speaker 1: with you know, on the show with Doctor Tubman, because 359 00:18:06,800 --> 00:18:08,520 Speaker 1: I've been able to go through all those emotions and 360 00:18:08,560 --> 00:18:11,440 Speaker 1: I've gotten to a really good place about it, Like 361 00:18:11,840 --> 00:18:14,640 Speaker 1: even on days where it's not the easiest thing to experience, 362 00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:16,280 Speaker 1: I'm at the place where I'm like, Okay, I know 363 00:18:16,320 --> 00:18:19,320 Speaker 1: this man is human and I ain't gonna hold him 364 00:18:19,359 --> 00:18:21,320 Speaker 1: too you know, but so much. But I also know 365 00:18:21,680 --> 00:18:23,800 Speaker 1: as a human being as well, I got upset my 366 00:18:23,840 --> 00:18:26,119 Speaker 1: own boundaries. It's taught me a lot about boundaries. But 367 00:18:26,160 --> 00:18:28,680 Speaker 1: also being an oldest child in a household with a 368 00:18:28,720 --> 00:18:33,919 Speaker 1: single mom, I've always had to figure it out like 369 00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:37,200 Speaker 1: I've always had my I literally can hear my mom's voice. Now, 370 00:18:37,680 --> 00:18:40,600 Speaker 1: nobody's coming to save you. If you don't have an answer, 371 00:18:40,680 --> 00:18:44,920 Speaker 1: you better find one, literally, And I think very strong 372 00:18:44,960 --> 00:18:47,160 Speaker 1: way to raise a child. You can put me anywhere 373 00:18:47,160 --> 00:18:50,280 Speaker 1: on the earth. I'm gonna triple my worth for real, 374 00:18:50,320 --> 00:18:52,760 Speaker 1: for real. But at the same time, I think it 375 00:18:52,800 --> 00:18:56,800 Speaker 1: has never allowed for me to allow other people in friendship, 376 00:18:57,000 --> 00:19:02,040 Speaker 1: relationship or whatever in certain ways, like I've always been 377 00:19:02,119 --> 00:19:05,160 Speaker 1: coachable and teachable, but there are certain ways and certain 378 00:19:05,160 --> 00:19:07,159 Speaker 1: things where if it's worked for me, I'm sticking to 379 00:19:07,200 --> 00:19:09,040 Speaker 1: that and there's nothing you can tell me. And I 380 00:19:09,080 --> 00:19:11,280 Speaker 1: think that that goes into my blind loyalty to people 381 00:19:11,280 --> 00:19:14,280 Speaker 1: even when I shouldn't be. Like there's been so much 382 00:19:14,960 --> 00:19:18,359 Speaker 1: dial back and conversation I've been able to have with myself, 383 00:19:18,359 --> 00:19:21,440 Speaker 1: and I'm like, these are conversations we should be having 384 00:19:21,440 --> 00:19:24,959 Speaker 1: because nobody has it all figured out. Nobody don't care 385 00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:29,120 Speaker 1: me follows, you got how paid you are, Nobody has 386 00:19:29,160 --> 00:19:31,280 Speaker 1: it all figured out. And I think even when you 387 00:19:31,320 --> 00:19:34,280 Speaker 1: get to a point where you have it all figured out, 388 00:19:34,320 --> 00:19:36,080 Speaker 1: like I got into a point when I was living 389 00:19:36,080 --> 00:19:37,840 Speaker 1: in LA and I'm like, okay, I'm able to pay 390 00:19:37,840 --> 00:19:41,720 Speaker 1: my bills everybody straight, I'm like, this is cool. Like 391 00:19:41,760 --> 00:19:44,040 Speaker 1: I could be on cruise Control, i could pay rent. Now, 392 00:19:44,760 --> 00:19:47,720 Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, everybody's cool. Life is good. 393 00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:50,800 Speaker 1: Right now. I'm doing what I you know, what I 394 00:19:50,840 --> 00:19:53,159 Speaker 1: love to do at least for the most part, what 395 00:19:53,200 --> 00:19:55,639 Speaker 1: I love to do, and then things when haywire and 396 00:19:55,680 --> 00:19:58,800 Speaker 1: I'm like, dang, at every level of your life at 397 00:19:58,840 --> 00:20:01,399 Speaker 1: any second, you could just have to be back in 398 00:20:01,440 --> 00:20:04,000 Speaker 1: that position to figure it out. And I think being 399 00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:07,800 Speaker 1: able to have conversations like this give people real tools 400 00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:10,320 Speaker 1: to go back and watch and listen to to be 401 00:20:10,359 --> 00:20:13,560 Speaker 1: able to be like I mean, sometimes the answer is 402 00:20:13,560 --> 00:20:15,880 Speaker 1: is you doing the best that you can and that's 403 00:20:15,920 --> 00:20:18,840 Speaker 1: all you can do until you realize you should be 404 00:20:18,880 --> 00:20:21,960 Speaker 1: doing more, and then you go seek proper resources and 405 00:20:22,280 --> 00:20:23,919 Speaker 1: you know, all the things to figure out what that 406 00:20:23,960 --> 00:20:26,960 Speaker 1: more looks like. Because up until this year, I'm be 407 00:20:26,960 --> 00:20:28,680 Speaker 1: honest with y'all, there was a lot of things that 408 00:20:29,520 --> 00:20:34,119 Speaker 1: I would never do today that last year you couldn't 409 00:20:34,119 --> 00:20:38,119 Speaker 1: tell me nothing about. But there was like this awakening 410 00:20:38,160 --> 00:20:40,679 Speaker 1: of I don't know, like I just not even that 411 00:20:40,720 --> 00:20:42,479 Speaker 1: I don't know, I feel like it was. It definitely 412 00:20:42,480 --> 00:20:44,119 Speaker 1: is a faith journey, Like I think, the more that 413 00:20:44,160 --> 00:20:47,440 Speaker 1: I locked into what I feel like not even I 414 00:20:47,720 --> 00:20:49,040 Speaker 1: don't know for sure, so I won't say what I 415 00:20:49,040 --> 00:20:51,560 Speaker 1: feel like, the more I locked into wanting to understand 416 00:20:51,560 --> 00:20:54,679 Speaker 1: what my purpose in life is and what my purpose 417 00:20:54,760 --> 00:20:57,239 Speaker 1: in the things that God has blessed me with is 418 00:20:58,440 --> 00:21:01,199 Speaker 1: the more I begin to lose type for certain things. 419 00:21:01,440 --> 00:21:04,200 Speaker 1: And I'm still trying to lose appetite for a little 420 00:21:04,240 --> 00:21:06,800 Speaker 1: bit of things. You know what I'm saying. There's still 421 00:21:06,800 --> 00:21:08,120 Speaker 1: some things that I feel like I need to lose 422 00:21:08,119 --> 00:21:10,439 Speaker 1: appetite four And I know that until I do that, 423 00:21:10,480 --> 00:21:13,760 Speaker 1: I won't be blessed with certain things. But the fact 424 00:21:13,800 --> 00:21:15,800 Speaker 1: that I'm even like aware and accountable that is so 425 00:21:15,880 --> 00:21:18,399 Speaker 1: different from me than how I was last year. And 426 00:21:18,440 --> 00:21:20,760 Speaker 1: I don't think there's anything wrong with it. And I think, 427 00:21:20,880 --> 00:21:23,280 Speaker 1: especially when you're young and you're figuring out career and 428 00:21:23,320 --> 00:21:26,160 Speaker 1: your voice, yo, you get There'll be some days when 429 00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:30,320 Speaker 1: I leave work or even if i'm watching other people 430 00:21:30,440 --> 00:21:33,560 Speaker 1: on air or like people on blogs or on X 431 00:21:33,640 --> 00:21:38,000 Speaker 1: I'm like, man, people be so hypocritical, And I know 432 00:21:38,080 --> 00:21:41,760 Speaker 1: I can be hypocritical too, Not even people like I'm 433 00:21:41,760 --> 00:21:43,879 Speaker 1: saying about y'all. I'm saying, like, as a people, we 434 00:21:43,960 --> 00:21:46,600 Speaker 1: can be so hypocritical. And I always think, what is 435 00:21:46,640 --> 00:21:49,560 Speaker 1: the best version of myself? Where everything I'm saying I'm 436 00:21:49,560 --> 00:21:52,000 Speaker 1: gonna do and everything I'm saying I want to be 437 00:21:52,080 --> 00:21:55,200 Speaker 1: and show up ass, I'm actually doing it. I wasn't 438 00:21:55,240 --> 00:21:57,400 Speaker 1: thinking like this last year and next year is gonna 439 00:21:57,400 --> 00:22:00,320 Speaker 1: be another version of it. And there's nothing wrong with saying, 440 00:22:00,680 --> 00:22:04,840 Speaker 1: here's exactly what I'm doing now to be better. Don't 441 00:22:04,840 --> 00:22:06,600 Speaker 1: got it all figured out. But that doesn't mean I'm 442 00:22:06,640 --> 00:22:10,119 Speaker 1: some like aimless shooter, you know what I mean, and 443 00:22:10,160 --> 00:22:13,320 Speaker 1: you shouldn't feel like that. I think the more vulnerable 444 00:22:13,359 --> 00:22:16,359 Speaker 1: people can be on major platforms, the more people realize like, 445 00:22:17,280 --> 00:22:20,400 Speaker 1: it's okay, that pressure ain't about nothing, because it's gonna 446 00:22:20,480 --> 00:22:23,840 Speaker 1: keep coming and coming and coming and coming, and it's 447 00:22:23,880 --> 00:22:25,800 Speaker 1: nothing you can do about it. There's also nothing you 448 00:22:25,800 --> 00:22:27,280 Speaker 1: can do about the fact that you might not be 449 00:22:27,359 --> 00:22:29,080 Speaker 1: ready to handle the pressure. That's been a lot of 450 00:22:29,119 --> 00:22:31,520 Speaker 1: things this year that I had to say to myself, 451 00:22:32,560 --> 00:22:35,720 Speaker 1: you ain't ready for that, Laura, you jumping into fast girl, 452 00:22:35,760 --> 00:22:41,240 Speaker 1: sit down you you cannot handle that. But when things 453 00:22:41,280 --> 00:22:43,760 Speaker 1: have come that I feel like I can handle my 454 00:22:43,800 --> 00:22:48,320 Speaker 1: new relationship or just even this podcast, then like managing 455 00:22:48,320 --> 00:22:50,359 Speaker 1: this and figuring out team and figuring out what my 456 00:22:50,440 --> 00:22:54,560 Speaker 1: voice is here, I'm like, yeah, you're ready, you are, 457 00:22:54,840 --> 00:22:57,879 Speaker 1: but here's everything you said you wanted to do, so 458 00:22:57,960 --> 00:22:59,880 Speaker 1: here's everything. Or on the other side, that you're gonna 459 00:22:59,880 --> 00:23:03,080 Speaker 1: needed to do it, get it done. And I think 460 00:23:03,119 --> 00:23:05,480 Speaker 1: when you're that vulnerable and you're that you know, out 461 00:23:05,520 --> 00:23:08,200 Speaker 1: loud about it with yourself and other people, the sense 462 00:23:08,200 --> 00:23:10,359 Speaker 1: of accountability you have to maintain because you don't put 463 00:23:10,400 --> 00:23:13,040 Speaker 1: it out there now is different. So I'm never against 464 00:23:13,080 --> 00:23:15,399 Speaker 1: having these conversations. I didn't walk away from this conversation like, 465 00:23:15,480 --> 00:23:19,119 Speaker 1: oh my god, why, like I didn't. I know, people 466 00:23:19,240 --> 00:23:22,240 Speaker 1: took issue with some of the questions I was asked, 467 00:23:22,320 --> 00:23:26,199 Speaker 1: and you know what, And I'm like, I didn't mind it, 468 00:23:26,240 --> 00:23:27,880 Speaker 1: So I don't know why you guys should mind it. 469 00:23:28,200 --> 00:23:32,080 Speaker 1: And maybe you know again, I didn't mind it because 470 00:23:32,119 --> 00:23:34,439 Speaker 1: I'm looking at myself as kind of like a vessel 471 00:23:34,480 --> 00:23:38,240 Speaker 1: of there's somebody out there that has given too much 472 00:23:38,280 --> 00:23:41,399 Speaker 1: to the wrong situation. It needs to hear. Just because 473 00:23:41,440 --> 00:23:43,879 Speaker 1: you did that once and it ended in a shipwreck 474 00:23:44,160 --> 00:23:48,120 Speaker 1: doesn't mean it's gonna happen again. But let's doubt back 475 00:23:48,160 --> 00:23:52,600 Speaker 1: and let's learn what we did in that situation that 476 00:23:52,640 --> 00:23:54,200 Speaker 1: could have been done a little bit different. Over here. 477 00:23:55,800 --> 00:23:58,320 Speaker 1: Everything in life is trialing area and I don't mind 478 00:23:58,359 --> 00:24:00,840 Speaker 1: being supposed kid for that. We'll tell y all though 479 00:24:01,160 --> 00:24:04,320 Speaker 1: I ain't gonna try and air for too long about 480 00:24:04,320 --> 00:24:06,679 Speaker 1: certain things like that's gonna happen for the rest of 481 00:24:06,680 --> 00:24:08,639 Speaker 1: my life, but about certain I'm a person that like, 482 00:24:08,680 --> 00:24:10,920 Speaker 1: let's get to the solution, you know what I'm saying. 483 00:24:11,000 --> 00:24:13,240 Speaker 1: I think that's also why I'm so open about being vulnerables, 484 00:24:13,240 --> 00:24:16,560 Speaker 1: because I know, at the end of the day, anything 485 00:24:16,560 --> 00:24:18,280 Speaker 1: that I'm willing to get on a platform and talk 486 00:24:18,280 --> 00:24:20,359 Speaker 1: about are things that I'm actively working on myself. And 487 00:24:20,359 --> 00:24:22,720 Speaker 1: I'm gonna be honest. I don't know when I got 488 00:24:22,720 --> 00:24:27,800 Speaker 1: this sense of girl, you gotta do better. But hopefully 489 00:24:27,880 --> 00:24:30,200 Speaker 1: these type of conversations will motivate you guys to also 490 00:24:30,240 --> 00:24:32,280 Speaker 1: look at, you know, some of the things that your life, 491 00:24:32,320 --> 00:24:35,119 Speaker 1: in your life that you're either not trying to be 492 00:24:35,200 --> 00:24:39,120 Speaker 1: honest with yourself about, running from real conversations about and 493 00:24:39,200 --> 00:24:42,480 Speaker 1: just realize, like it happens to the best of us, 494 00:24:43,080 --> 00:24:46,000 Speaker 1: uncomfortable conversations, moments that you wish you could take back, 495 00:24:46,040 --> 00:24:49,080 Speaker 1: and it's not the end of the world. But there's 496 00:24:49,119 --> 00:24:51,800 Speaker 1: been other, you know, conversations I've had to have and 497 00:24:51,880 --> 00:24:54,440 Speaker 1: work and in business, and I think I also learned 498 00:24:54,480 --> 00:24:57,760 Speaker 1: this year that like growing up the way I did 499 00:24:57,760 --> 00:25:00,560 Speaker 1: with having to always figure things out. Made me a 500 00:25:00,600 --> 00:25:04,399 Speaker 1: little people pleasey for sure. And when I realized that 501 00:25:04,400 --> 00:25:06,920 Speaker 1: that was a game changer because now I'm always able 502 00:25:06,920 --> 00:25:09,960 Speaker 1: to catch myself when I'm doing it, and I'm always 503 00:25:10,040 --> 00:25:11,760 Speaker 1: able to have a conversation like, all right, are you 504 00:25:11,760 --> 00:25:14,679 Speaker 1: trying to please the people or is it that you 505 00:25:14,840 --> 00:25:18,760 Speaker 1: really care? Does that or that? Does that really that 506 00:25:18,880 --> 00:25:21,199 Speaker 1: issue that you're taking with this? Is it because of 507 00:25:21,280 --> 00:25:23,639 Speaker 1: the people pleasing thing? Or is it because you you 508 00:25:23,880 --> 00:25:25,919 Speaker 1: really feel like if you pay attention to this and 509 00:25:25,960 --> 00:25:30,119 Speaker 1: listen to this, it'll it'll progress you. And that has 510 00:25:30,160 --> 00:25:33,159 Speaker 1: actually been able to talk about. I mentioned, uh, you know, 511 00:25:33,240 --> 00:25:37,320 Speaker 1: setting boundaries, you know, with my dad in this episode 512 00:25:37,640 --> 00:25:40,040 Speaker 1: that has that has nothing to do with my dad 513 00:25:40,119 --> 00:25:42,879 Speaker 1: at all. That has a lot to do with my 514 00:25:42,920 --> 00:25:46,240 Speaker 1: mother and our relationship. But that's been able to protect 515 00:25:46,240 --> 00:25:48,640 Speaker 1: me so much when I had to be like, uh, girl, 516 00:25:48,680 --> 00:25:51,199 Speaker 1: now why are you doing that? So if I'll take 517 00:25:51,240 --> 00:25:53,960 Speaker 1: a listen to the full conversation, y'all, I think it's 518 00:25:54,000 --> 00:25:57,919 Speaker 1: definitely one. Uh definitely want to watch, one to listen to. 519 00:25:59,000 --> 00:26:01,720 Speaker 1: And I want you, guys, when I post this, you know, 520 00:26:01,880 --> 00:26:04,680 Speaker 1: live to the podcast and to wherever else will be. 521 00:26:05,560 --> 00:26:07,199 Speaker 1: I want to hear from you, guys. I'm Loaura la 522 00:26:07,240 --> 00:26:09,639 Speaker 1: Rosa everywhere and want you to watch the conversation and 523 00:26:09,720 --> 00:26:11,919 Speaker 1: let me know what was your first thought, your first reaction, 524 00:26:11,960 --> 00:26:14,320 Speaker 1: and what conversation did it spark for you with yourself, 525 00:26:14,640 --> 00:26:17,480 Speaker 1: with people in your life, all of the things. And 526 00:26:17,520 --> 00:26:20,960 Speaker 1: I'll close with I was reading this article on Refinery 527 00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:23,200 Speaker 1: twenty nine. They did this article a few days ago, 528 00:26:23,640 --> 00:26:26,359 Speaker 1: and the title of the article is what do we 529 00:26:26,440 --> 00:26:32,679 Speaker 1: lose when Black women in journalism disappear? Dot dot everything? Period? 530 00:26:33,560 --> 00:26:36,359 Speaker 1: And there's been a lot of conversation about the erasure 531 00:26:36,560 --> 00:26:39,600 Speaker 1: of you know, black voice in the media space and 532 00:26:40,200 --> 00:26:43,720 Speaker 1: the journalists space and personality space, because there's been a 533 00:26:43,720 --> 00:26:47,760 Speaker 1: lot of recent mergers and acquisitions with outlets that have 534 00:26:47,800 --> 00:26:51,080 Speaker 1: cost a lot of black journalists to lose their jobs. 535 00:26:52,240 --> 00:26:55,120 Speaker 1: We talked about Rolling Stone merging with Vibe a few 536 00:26:55,160 --> 00:26:57,240 Speaker 1: episodes ago. If you have not taken a listen to that, 537 00:26:57,240 --> 00:27:01,399 Speaker 1: please go listen. But in this article specifically, which was 538 00:27:01,440 --> 00:27:05,080 Speaker 1: written by a journalist named Ebanie Walker, the question that 539 00:27:05,160 --> 00:27:08,840 Speaker 1: it's posed is what necessary perspective perspectives do we lose 540 00:27:08,840 --> 00:27:11,920 Speaker 1: and what questions go unasks and unanswered when black journalists 541 00:27:11,920 --> 00:27:14,280 Speaker 1: are among the first to be seen as disposable on 542 00:27:14,520 --> 00:27:16,960 Speaker 1: a mast head. And I'm be honest with y'all the 543 00:27:17,000 --> 00:27:19,879 Speaker 1: conversation that I had with doctor Joele Tubman on the 544 00:27:19,920 --> 00:27:21,960 Speaker 1: Breakfast Club. Please go check out that conversation if you 545 00:27:22,040 --> 00:27:25,040 Speaker 1: have not seen it. It's one of the conversations we lose. 546 00:27:25,160 --> 00:27:30,720 Speaker 1: Imagine if there was no Breakfast Club to be able 547 00:27:30,720 --> 00:27:34,240 Speaker 1: to facilitate a conversation between an older black male and 548 00:27:34,320 --> 00:27:41,600 Speaker 1: a younger black woman about relationships, sex, timelines in a relationship, 549 00:27:43,320 --> 00:27:48,800 Speaker 1: intention in a relationship, daddy daughter stuff. And I think 550 00:27:48,800 --> 00:27:50,400 Speaker 1: that that's part of the reason too, now that I'm 551 00:27:50,400 --> 00:27:52,640 Speaker 1: thinking about it, I think part of the reason people 552 00:27:52,680 --> 00:27:57,000 Speaker 1: were triggered by the conversation with me and doctor Tubman. 553 00:27:58,280 --> 00:28:01,320 Speaker 1: Not everybody, but I think for some people it's tough 554 00:28:01,359 --> 00:28:05,240 Speaker 1: to see a man have a conversation with a younger 555 00:28:05,400 --> 00:28:08,240 Speaker 1: with a young woman in that way. I think it 556 00:28:08,280 --> 00:28:10,960 Speaker 1: feels very judgy to some people. I think it can 557 00:28:11,000 --> 00:28:16,119 Speaker 1: feel very it's my way or the highway, yeah, and 558 00:28:16,160 --> 00:28:20,399 Speaker 1: I can I can understand people feeling that way, but 559 00:28:20,480 --> 00:28:23,560 Speaker 1: I do think that I don't know, I think we 560 00:28:23,560 --> 00:28:26,119 Speaker 1: should be able to have those conversations still because I 561 00:28:26,160 --> 00:28:30,080 Speaker 1: think you know when I read this article Refinery twenty 562 00:28:30,160 --> 00:28:33,280 Speaker 1: nine and it talked about the fact that teen Vogue 563 00:28:33,320 --> 00:28:36,879 Speaker 1: now well as of November fourteen, twenty twenty five, it 564 00:28:36,920 --> 00:28:39,560 Speaker 1: was reported that teen Vogue stands with zero black women 565 00:28:39,680 --> 00:28:42,600 Speaker 1: or trans folks on their staff. And it just made 566 00:28:42,640 --> 00:28:46,480 Speaker 1: me think about everything I saw on television and heard 567 00:28:46,520 --> 00:28:49,240 Speaker 1: on the radio when I was a child that inspired 568 00:28:49,480 --> 00:28:50,880 Speaker 1: what I wanted to do and how I wanted to 569 00:28:50,880 --> 00:28:53,800 Speaker 1: do it. You're talking about vulnerable conversations. I mean, I 570 00:28:53,840 --> 00:28:55,400 Speaker 1: feel like when I used to listen to the radio 571 00:28:55,440 --> 00:28:57,640 Speaker 1: and watch TV, like when I was coming up, you 572 00:28:58,200 --> 00:29:02,480 Speaker 1: could literally learn from episodes of The Cosby Show and 573 00:29:02,920 --> 00:29:06,560 Speaker 1: you know, living single and a different world. And I 574 00:29:06,560 --> 00:29:09,440 Speaker 1: mean she even Wendy Williams on the radio, the conversation 575 00:29:09,600 --> 00:29:12,240 Speaker 1: she wasn't afraid to get into and dig into, even 576 00:29:12,240 --> 00:29:15,200 Speaker 1: though she was very protective of her personal life. Like 577 00:29:15,480 --> 00:29:18,000 Speaker 1: those type of things are what motivated me to even 578 00:29:18,120 --> 00:29:20,120 Speaker 1: be okay and want to do things like you know, 579 00:29:20,160 --> 00:29:23,640 Speaker 1: the conversation with doctor Joele Tubman. Imagine if I was 580 00:29:23,680 --> 00:29:27,200 Speaker 1: never able to see that. But also too, I think 581 00:29:27,200 --> 00:29:31,440 Speaker 1: we're always teaching other people how to treat us, and 582 00:29:31,520 --> 00:29:35,160 Speaker 1: I think not being able to have certain conversations or 583 00:29:35,200 --> 00:29:40,200 Speaker 1: have certain people who understand things because you know, black 584 00:29:40,240 --> 00:29:44,560 Speaker 1: people just know black people. Right. It's dangerous because it's like, 585 00:29:44,680 --> 00:29:48,320 Speaker 1: what are the checks and balances in the room. Who's 586 00:29:48,320 --> 00:29:50,520 Speaker 1: teaching who how to talk about us, how to talk 587 00:29:50,560 --> 00:29:53,720 Speaker 1: to us, how to you know what I'm saying. It's 588 00:29:53,720 --> 00:29:57,760 Speaker 1: scary when you think about it. The article talks about 589 00:29:57,800 --> 00:30:01,400 Speaker 1: things like this happening. Right, So the zero, the alleged 590 00:30:01,480 --> 00:30:04,520 Speaker 1: or reported zero black women are transfolk on their staff, 591 00:30:05,400 --> 00:30:09,440 Speaker 1: you know. But then they also mention it's been reported 592 00:30:09,440 --> 00:30:12,400 Speaker 1: that fifteen percent of reporters who cover social issues and 593 00:30:12,480 --> 00:30:15,800 Speaker 1: policy are black, and that's according to a twenty twenty 594 00:30:15,840 --> 00:30:19,360 Speaker 1: two Pew Research study. Now, of that number, it starts 595 00:30:19,360 --> 00:30:22,520 Speaker 1: to get smaller. That number drops to about seven percent 596 00:30:22,520 --> 00:30:25,680 Speaker 1: when you talk about entertainment, and that number drops a 597 00:30:25,760 --> 00:30:29,680 Speaker 1: five percent when you talk about government and politics. Again, 598 00:30:29,760 --> 00:30:33,240 Speaker 1: it's who's in the room to really make people understand 599 00:30:33,480 --> 00:30:35,320 Speaker 1: how to talk about us, how to talk to us, 600 00:30:35,360 --> 00:30:38,560 Speaker 1: but also how to teach us. When we come to 601 00:30:38,600 --> 00:30:41,240 Speaker 1: these outlets and we want to learn and understand and grow, 602 00:30:42,000 --> 00:30:45,960 Speaker 1: who's there to do it? So I think that there's 603 00:30:45,960 --> 00:30:49,120 Speaker 1: a centenaris of responsibility in my opinion, and hey, I'm 604 00:30:49,160 --> 00:30:51,920 Speaker 1: open for debate when you're on these platforms to like 605 00:30:52,960 --> 00:30:55,080 Speaker 1: you know, charlam Mane always sys in the morning when 606 00:30:55,080 --> 00:30:57,200 Speaker 1: they open the breakfast club, like another day to be 607 00:30:57,240 --> 00:30:59,560 Speaker 1: of service to the people. I just think this is 608 00:30:59,600 --> 00:31:03,760 Speaker 1: a part as I'm figuring out, like my walk and 609 00:31:03,400 --> 00:31:05,680 Speaker 1: my fight for myself, I think this is all a 610 00:31:05,680 --> 00:31:08,000 Speaker 1: part of it. Like I'm growing in front of the 611 00:31:08,040 --> 00:31:10,240 Speaker 1: world because I want to tell somebody else that it's 612 00:31:10,280 --> 00:31:13,640 Speaker 1: okay to do that. But also as I'm growing, someone's 613 00:31:13,680 --> 00:31:16,760 Speaker 1: attached to that and they're growing with me, and there's 614 00:31:16,760 --> 00:31:19,400 Speaker 1: a responsibility to that. You know, we have a good 615 00:31:19,440 --> 00:31:21,240 Speaker 1: time and we jokey joke and all the things, and 616 00:31:21,280 --> 00:31:23,080 Speaker 1: there's a responsibility to that at the end of the day. 617 00:31:23,080 --> 00:31:27,440 Speaker 1: And I can't we as black people, can't get around that. 618 00:31:28,840 --> 00:31:30,400 Speaker 1: Even if you don't try, even if you don't think 619 00:31:30,400 --> 00:31:33,800 Speaker 1: about it, there is someone attached to everything that you're doing. 620 00:31:35,000 --> 00:31:36,800 Speaker 1: And as I'm learning to be intentional on so many 621 00:31:36,800 --> 00:31:38,560 Speaker 1: things about about my life, I want to learn and 622 00:31:38,560 --> 00:31:40,880 Speaker 1: be intentional when I'm behind any microphone as well too, 623 00:31:41,400 --> 00:31:43,400 Speaker 1: as much as I can be in people's business. And 624 00:31:43,520 --> 00:31:45,760 Speaker 1: y'all know, I could do it with the sources and 625 00:31:45,800 --> 00:31:48,960 Speaker 1: all the things. I also want to have conversations like 626 00:31:49,040 --> 00:31:55,040 Speaker 1: this that get into things and just that pull back 627 00:31:55,080 --> 00:31:59,000 Speaker 1: the veil enough to make a person feel so comfortable 628 00:31:59,040 --> 00:32:01,040 Speaker 1: with me in any place from Mamaw and that they're 629 00:32:01,080 --> 00:32:06,920 Speaker 1: willing to learn and listen. That's it, that's all. I'm 630 00:32:06,960 --> 00:32:10,360 Speaker 1: Lorna Rosa. This is another episode of the Latest with 631 00:32:10,400 --> 00:32:12,480 Speaker 1: Lorna Rosa. And at the end of the day, my Lowriders, 632 00:32:12,520 --> 00:32:14,960 Speaker 1: I tell y'all all the time, you guys could be 633 00:32:15,000 --> 00:32:18,480 Speaker 1: anywhere with anybody having this conversation, but y'all choose to 634 00:32:18,480 --> 00:32:20,520 Speaker 1: be right here with me, and I appreciate you. 635 00:32:20,520 --> 00:32:20,880 Speaker 2: Guys. 636 00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:27,400 Speaker 1: Okay, I will catch you in my next episode.