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Speaker 1: What would you talk about on your on your podcast

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Speaker 1: Firm Elvis Presents show Around the table. There's Scary Jones,

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Speaker 1: there's Dave Brodie, Greg T, the frat boy guys, there's Garrett.

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Speaker 1: They're straight name and we're missing Danielle. It's a sausage

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Speaker 1: fest for now. Again, some sausages larger than others. Yes,

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Speaker 1: you looking at me for I don't know. I don't

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Speaker 1: have a very big sausage. I do. I think Garrett died.

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Speaker 1: Do we're doing a vote, Danielle, you're just in time.

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Speaker 1: Who do you think in the room has the largest sausage?

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Speaker 1: The largest sausage in the room. Let me look around.

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Speaker 1: The rumor has always been the Garrett head of it. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I think, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm owning it. No. As

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Speaker 1: a matter of fact, one time we were in the

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Speaker 1: Bahamas or something and someone on the show saw you

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Speaker 1: in the locker room and they said it was it

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Speaker 1: was very very I believe it was Stephen Levine, but

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Speaker 1: yet it wasn't. It was Dave Brodie. Dave Brodie, it

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Speaker 1: was you. You said that Garrett had a large one.

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Speaker 1: I do recall seeing it. Yes, can we talk about

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Speaker 1: who we think has the smallest one that's obvious. Well, tea.

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Speaker 1: We've seen, so we kind of it. I'd say it's tea.

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Speaker 1: I don't. I don't think it's mine, but is very small.

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Speaker 1: I've never said that. You kind of allude to that.

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Speaker 1: I've never heard. I've never heard. I think he's alluded

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Speaker 1: to it. You know, I don't ever discuss anything. Here's

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Speaker 1: the thing about Nate. Nate always says his is tiny,

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Speaker 1: and in my experience, guys who say that usually are

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Speaker 1: hiding the fact that it's not. I'm just saying it

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Speaker 1: makes me happy. Oh my gosh, he seriously. We got

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Speaker 1: to discuss this the other day when we were broadcasting

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Speaker 1: live from Eden Rock a dysfunctional family vacation his everyone

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Speaker 1: heard Heather, his girlfriend, say do you want something to

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Speaker 1: eat my smushies and then fed him him. Okay, well

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Speaker 1: there is an issue about There is an issue going

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Speaker 1: on with Nate and his girlfriend about how he is

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Speaker 1: convinced she is trying to make him gain weight. Oh yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: maybe we can talk about this song. We should talk

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Speaker 1: about it on the big show. I think, well, it's

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Speaker 1: it's going both ways and I'm being fat blamed for

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Speaker 1: her gaining weight now Yeah, so it's not fat shaming.

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Speaker 1: It's fat blaming because she's put on some weight and

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Speaker 1: she says it's because of my diet that's causing her

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Speaker 1: to eat like that and to gain weight. Funny when

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Speaker 1: you're in a relationship and you get blamed on something

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Speaker 1: that they have full control of. Yeah. The thing is

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Speaker 1: when you're in a relationship, you have regular nights that

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Speaker 1: you probably go out to eat. And when you know,

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Speaker 1: eating at a restaurant, you're eating butter and salt. No

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Speaker 1: you're not, You're you're deciding to eat butter right for

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Speaker 1: you gaining weight? But also his girlfriend cooks a lot,

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Speaker 1: so I know that she cooks for him, so he's

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Speaker 1: very comfortable and he eats a can you write it

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Speaker 1: on the list, big sho? Can we talk about the pumpkins?

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Speaker 1: What do you call her? What do you call your girlfriend?

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Speaker 1: I actually don't have a nickname for her, which bothers here?

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Speaker 1: But I'll tell you what vote now, tell us what

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Speaker 1: you think Nate should call his girlfriend? What do you

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Speaker 1: call Sheldon? Unlucky? Bay, b a y And it's not

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Speaker 1: because Bay what everybody called When we started dating, there

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Speaker 1: was a show on TV called Party of five. He

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Speaker 1: reminds me of one of the characters on the show Bailey,

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Speaker 1: and that was Bay was his nickname, So he's always

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Speaker 1: been Bay to me. So that's how it was the original,

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Speaker 1: before Bay was Bay, before Bay was Brody. Does your

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Speaker 1: wife call you anything else than an asshole? I mean?

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Speaker 1: Does she call you Dave or David? David? What do

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Speaker 1: you call her? Um? White? Usually it's followed a preface

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Speaker 1: with please, No, I just call her mau short for Melissa. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I don't have a pooky smooky name. Alex and I

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Speaker 1: have interesting name for each other. He calls me Elvis.

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Speaker 1: I call him Alex. He calls me sometimes he does

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Speaker 1: call you. I've heard him. Do that know? What about

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Speaker 1: you guys? It's scary. No, Robin and I did not

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Speaker 1: have names for each other, but Lucky he calls. But

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Speaker 1: I can understand the whole baby talk thing that Nate

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Speaker 1: gets into. What about you guys? Ali and I when

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Speaker 1: we first started dating, it was mush We're both mush uh,

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Speaker 1: and now it's I call her al uh and uh,

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Speaker 1: I'm just I'm mush m What about you? No, Trish

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Speaker 1: and I. If I do that, she's gonna go. Why

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Speaker 1: are you talking about, like, why do you do that?

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Speaker 1: If you wanted to give your wife a name right now,

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Speaker 1: here's the opportunity. What would you call her? Oh? You know,

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Speaker 1: I don't know, farty party, something like that. I don't

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Speaker 1: know something. I will tell you. There are times Alex

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Speaker 1: calls me something and I don't like it at all.

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Speaker 1: Let's see if he answers and I've told him to stop. No, Hello, Hey,

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Speaker 1: how are you wait? Let me call you from the ziphone.

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Speaker 1: I just got a quick question and we all hang up. Mr.

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Speaker 1: What is it you call me as a nickname that

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Speaker 1: I really hate? And I wish you would stop calling

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Speaker 1: me daddy? Yeah, when you call me, I'm gonna hang

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Speaker 1: up now, thank you. Phone. His cell phone doesn't always

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Speaker 1: work well. Okay, So when we're hanging out with Max,

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Speaker 1: our dog, you know Max, we're Max's daddy's so I'll

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Speaker 1: go Max, you know, Daddy's gonna make you lunch now whatever.

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Speaker 1: So then he started calling me big daddy, and I

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Speaker 1: kept saying, no, I'm not your daddy, and I'm not

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Speaker 1: a daddy, I'm not a bear, I'm none of those

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Speaker 1: things used to No. I lost Now is Alex little daddy?

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Speaker 1: He thinks he's know he he's fun daddy, just big

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Speaker 1: and he's fun. Yeah, I'm big daddy. He's fun daddy.

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Speaker 1: I don't like. I don't like these these you call

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Speaker 1: him fun daddy. No. I think it might be your fault, though,

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Speaker 1: because you've told us to call you big daddy. You

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Speaker 1: on the air, you'll go big. But when your boyfriend

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Speaker 1: calls you that, it's kind of creepy because I don't

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Speaker 1: want I don't want anyone. What about what about Zaddie?

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Speaker 1: People call zaddy? I heard your Ritza calling guys an

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Speaker 1: older attractive men zaddy for some reason. I don't know.

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Speaker 1: It's it's a thing, you know, I'm not. I'm not daddy.

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Speaker 1: You're not gonna be my daddie. You can call me

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Speaker 1: rather than daddy, call me Debbie. Why did you do Dallas?

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Speaker 1: I don't know. It just sounds like he did. We

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Speaker 1: call you big mama one day. Yeah, you call me everything.

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Speaker 1: When Heather cooks for you and you're gaining weight, does

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Speaker 1: does she do the airplane with the spoon when she feeds?

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Speaker 1: You know, I don't need any help of that. Okay, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: we have fading. We do feed each other though, I

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Speaker 1: can see that. It's usually dessert, or we'll buy two

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Speaker 1: dishes that we want to share and then we'll just

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Speaker 1: spoon each other. Do you guys naked? Yeah? Yeah, I

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Speaker 1: as you have. Yeah you can if you're jealous or

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Speaker 1: have you just disgusted? No, no, I'm not. I'm trying

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Speaker 1: to remember the days when that that kind of stuff

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Speaker 1: went on. The same thing. I'm not even kidding. I'm

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Speaker 1: like home on everyone's talking at the same time. What

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Speaker 1: I don't want to hear this The fact that I

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Speaker 1: cook naked with my girlfriend. I really enjoy that. I

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Speaker 1: look forward to it at night. The fact that you

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Speaker 1: say and look at me with that face and say, oh,

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Speaker 1: it's gonna end. It will not last. There's no way

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Speaker 1: it doesn't happen that way. You start off like that

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Speaker 1: and it's great and you're like so in love, and

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Speaker 1: then like all of a sudden, one day it's kind

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Speaker 1: of different. You walk in, you go, schooky, I'm home

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Speaker 1: from work, and she says shut up, or like if

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Speaker 1: she's naked, you go, you put. I don't want to

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Speaker 1: see Okay, guys, just because both of you are married

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Speaker 1: and miserable. Yeah you know what, Okay, hold on a second.

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Speaker 1: Let's talk to Garrett now, Garrett, and we'll talk to

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Speaker 1: Danielle as well. You've been married Garrett for how long?

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Speaker 1: Five years this June? Five years? And you have two kids,

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Speaker 1: You've got a dog. I mean, you have a very busy,

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Speaker 1: active household. Correct, don't you guys still do fun things

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Speaker 1: that are romantic a hundred percent? Last night we went

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Speaker 1: out to a rose tasting. Tonight we're going to see

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Speaker 1: Frozen on Broadway. You can still see through your social

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Speaker 1: media at least you guys are still into each other.

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Speaker 1: I mean, you got kids, but you have your own

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Speaker 1: lives as a couple as well, and just as great

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Speaker 1: Tea and Brody. We're just saying I I've heard it

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Speaker 1: from them, so I find I have to fight against it.

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Speaker 1: I don't allow that to happen because of them. That's

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Speaker 1: you know what, that's actually great motivation to not turn

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Speaker 1: into that. What about you, daniel You've been married to

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Speaker 1: Sheldon for how long? Along to we got in two

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Speaker 1: thousand three, so we've been taking you know, we've been

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Speaker 1: together twenty something years and he works his ass off.

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Speaker 1: You work your ass off, and you have two kids

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Speaker 1: and a get go Yes, and beat a dragon whatever.

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Speaker 1: It's not always easy, but we do when we try

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Speaker 1: very hard. And even last night, like I was standing

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Speaker 1: by the sink and I was so disheveled making My

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Speaker 1: hair is a mess and my clothes are mess. And

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Speaker 1: he looks at me and he goes, stop standing. They're

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Speaker 1: all sassy. What are you thinking? And I looked at

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Speaker 1: him and I gave him a hawk, and I go

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Speaker 1: the fact that you still think I look sassy? Right now?

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Speaker 1: That's why you still flirt. You still flirt with each other,

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Speaker 1: By Brody, you in great to do you guys flirt

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Speaker 1: with your wives anymore? Oh it's a waste of time.

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Speaker 1: But I do try. I try to flirt all the time.

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Speaker 1: I don't know what I think. Garrett gave us the

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Speaker 1: most important advice that I've heard today. You sometimes you

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Speaker 1: gotta fight it. You gotta fight that urge to get

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Speaker 1: We fight it, fight it because you get too comfortable

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Speaker 1: in a relationship. So everyone still want today, Brody, when

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Speaker 1: Melissa's cooking dinner in the kitchen, go take your clothes

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Speaker 1: off and stand next to the lots of leftovers. Everyone serious,

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Speaker 1: I don't I just don't like you. Looking at Nate

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Speaker 1: and saying this is all going to end, bro though

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Speaker 1: it's there's no way that they're going to stay that

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Speaker 1: exact way, but it will evolve and will evolve into

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Speaker 1: other point. You're gonna be forty forty mill years old, smushy,

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Speaker 1: and that's gonna because you have fat love handles. Because

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Speaker 1: that's right, you're the most bitter husband. I'm a realist

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Speaker 1: that dude. I was. I was dating when I was

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Speaker 1: at some point my life. I remember, but yes, it

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Speaker 1: was like that fooling around in the car side of

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Speaker 1: the road to full off in the movie theater around

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Speaker 1: My wife and I have have the seat between us

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Speaker 1: at the movie theater like two guys used to do

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Speaker 1: some space. It's right, alright, Well, so my my hope

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Speaker 1: for you straight you and your girlfriend continue to to

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Speaker 1: flirt and cooking naked. Everyone deserves that kind of like

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Speaker 1: you know, it's scary. Do you and Robin do that?

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Speaker 1: Do you? We do baby talk a little bit. You do.

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Speaker 1: Let me hear it, like I'm like, okay, good night,

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Speaker 1: Like I'm fat. She goes me too, cute little like

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Speaker 1: things that we do. I don't know, I'm fat meat too.

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Speaker 1: We always do that. We we talked about you put

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Speaker 1: her in an uberan center hall. You know. I will

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Speaker 1: tell you there was that one time in Miami were

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Speaker 1: Scary didn't even know Robin yet, and he was Remember

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Speaker 1: when you brought that girl back to the room. Remember that,

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Speaker 1: and we were sharing the room and you were talking

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Speaker 1: baby talk to her. Didn't you sleep in my bathtub?

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Speaker 1: That's yeah, yeah I did. And Scary was talking to

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Speaker 1: baby talk to her. He was going, she was six,

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Speaker 1: You were talking baby talk to her. Yeah, that was

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Speaker 1: how it was. Okay, that was not a good a

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Speaker 1: good weekend. It was like we had this private bush

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Speaker 1: that we are that yeah, something like you brought her

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Speaker 1: home anyway. Anyway, I just I wanted everyone to keep flirting,

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Speaker 1: like like Garrett said, just keep fighting it fight fight

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Speaker 1: the urge to not flirt. Speaking of fighting an urge,

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Speaker 1: you mentioned the private bus. Danielle fell asleep with her

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Speaker 1: head in my lap for like two hours and that

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Speaker 1: private bus and I had to fight the urge. Believe me,

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, that is just not us. Like a

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Speaker 1: massage every time we hit a bump, I'm like pills

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Speaker 1: a little lumpy. I never knew that, you know, she

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Speaker 1: sleeps in her mouth open on planes. It's the same, okay,

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Speaker 1: But to be fair, you do we have pictures of

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Speaker 1: you every time you fall asleep on planes, trains and

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Speaker 1: an automobiles. You your mouth is wide. It's a narrow trade.

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Speaker 1: The whole family does. That's great though. You're the perfect

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Speaker 1: person to actually play pranks on when you go to sleep.

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Speaker 1: That mustache, we drew that on alright, So look, you

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Speaker 1: know what I never knew that about. I mean, do

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Speaker 1: we have other secret stories about each other from trips

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Speaker 1: and from because you know, we all have our we

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Speaker 1: all have had our moments throughout the years where we've

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Speaker 1: done things where we assume the other don't know. Um,

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Speaker 1: does anyone in this room know about one of us

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Speaker 1: doing something that we think is still a secret? Someone

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Speaker 1: absolutely what I'm talking about, Um, several years ago. I'm

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Speaker 1: going back to like beaches basketball, like back in the like.

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Speaker 1: I met someone on the trip and I found out

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Speaker 1: after we hooked up that she was engaged. So that

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Speaker 1: was the last time I saw her. We never knew

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Speaker 1: that she was Yeah, but do we that was a

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Speaker 1: secret about himself. He's killing you wanted that great tea

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Speaker 1: is very I'm going back, way back in the bathroom

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Speaker 1: and did lollipopy with that girl. There was a men's

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Speaker 1: room was here at the station? Yeah? Uh no. My

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Speaker 1: question was, does anyone in this room know a secret

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Speaker 1: about someone else in this room? Because I don't know? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: do you? I know a lot of secrets about Scary,

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Speaker 1: but I really absolutely cannot tell no, no, no, But

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Speaker 1: but he has shared many things with me to make

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Speaker 1: my eyespot out of my head. We know each other

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Speaker 1: twenty two years. I know, we've all known each other

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Speaker 1: twenty two years. Right, So then then we go way

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Speaker 1: back we should at this point, I have a lot

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Speaker 1: of stuff on all of this. I don't have any

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Speaker 1: dirt on Danielle. No, and kind of clean though I

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Speaker 1: don't really I've never really done anything. And I've been

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Speaker 1: with my husband for something, right, I know, but I've

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Speaker 1: been in an out room of relationship. Does anyone know

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Speaker 1: any secrets about me? Oh? I do you do? Can

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Speaker 1: you talk about it? I can't talk about it. You

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Speaker 1: can't you know the story that none of us know.

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Speaker 1: I know I know something that you told me that

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Speaker 1: I will never repeat. Oh, I've told see that's senates

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Speaker 1: my work husband, So I've told him I've told him

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Speaker 1: notice celebrity that you had sex with. I think he does.

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Speaker 1: I think you do. I don't understand what a twenty

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Speaker 1: years he walks in the door and because he's hot, No,

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Speaker 1: read the book. Time to get a three way? You

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Speaker 1: want to get into that way? Fifteen minute morning show