00:00:08
Speaker 1: Well, I invited you here, thought I made myself perfectly clear. When you're a guest to my home, you gotta come to me empty. And I said, no, guests, your own presences presents enough. I already had too much stuff, So how did you dare to surbey me?

00:00:47
Speaker 2: Welcome to I said, no gift, Nimebridge or Wineger. You're here, You're safe. I'm here with you. Look, it's not typical that the beginning of the podcast begins with the giant news flash, but today is a little different. Huge news. Apple Podcasts has decided to spotlight I said no gifts for the month, which is incredible, What an honor. Those people know what they're talking about. So, you know, we do our little thing here on the show. And when somebody like Apple Podcasts decides to notice, I'm glowing. I'm beyond thrilled. And look what that means is that some new listeners might be filing into the party. And if you're one of those people, I'm very happy to have you. I could spend thirty forty minutes explaining how the podcast works, but I feel like the fact that you were willing to try, that you were curious enough to give it a listen speaks volumes about your powerful mind, and I have complete faith that you're going to be able to grasp the concept of the show pretty quickly and then you're going to have a terrific time. Now, if the podcast does end up being too complicated for you, may I suggest, you know, turning on a loud fan and listening to the drone of that for your entertainment. That might be more your speed. Okay, so now we've got that out of the way, I have a darker news story to share. I took myself to lunch during a little lunch break today. And you know, I am a huge advocate of eating alone and usually have a wonderful time. This energy I have is interesting to Matternie. I want to apologize just for the way I'm even speaking to you right now, but maybe once I tell you what happened, that will explain things. I went and got some tacos and then managed to spray enough hot sauce on my body that I had to do a full outfit change. Again. I absolutely will tell you to eat alone whenever possible, but it does feel different when you're sitting alone covered in hot sauce, and maybe I'm sharing this with you so you can carry part of my load because I wasn't able to share this with, you know, an eating companion. So now my little difficulty is also yours. I'm putting that on you help me carry the load. Let's get into the podcast. Thrilled about today's guest. We love today's guest. It's Bowen Yang Bowen. Welcome to I said, nokid, thank you so much.

00:03:21
Speaker 3: I feel like it would not have necessarily been a less harrowing experience had you had an eating partner. How so, if it was some of you didn't know if like like it depends on what kind of lunch this was, right, If this was a casual lunch with a close friend, oh my goodness, look, Bridger sprayed, you know, ho toass all over himself haha, as opposed to like a big business lunch at the Polo lounge or something.

00:03:46
Speaker 2: You know, but see, I think business lunch icebreaker. Okay, you know everybody pities you. You actually then kind of have the upper hand because now all of these business people feel bad for you, and so you take you manipulate.

00:03:58
Speaker 3: You manipulate. How did do the outfit change involve you? Yeah? I assume it involved you. How many go home?

00:04:04
Speaker 2: And oh yeah, I mean, you know, I had to be back in the uh where we're you know, I took off my sweatshirt, I took off my pants immediately. It was like it was like I might as well have thrown up on myself. So complete outfit change, and you know, and then also with a friend. To have a friend there would feel fantastic. But the rest of the you know, you don't know who's looking. You're I'm sitting there alone. I don't even know who saw it happen. Maybe no one, maybe maybe everyone. Sure how many people? How crowded was the restaurant? It was like I would say, half a half capacity capacity?

00:04:42
Speaker 3: Okay, okay, but see you having a friend there would still not have you would you would have still had to change that you would have stayed in the outfit.

00:04:52
Speaker 2: Well, I would have definitely had to change the outfit, but at least I would have been able to be, you know, just have the comfort of the friend.

00:04:58
Speaker 3: You know, Sure, I mean, here, here's here's my I don't mean to be this argumentative, but I just think that this will you you you will this will be lost in the sands of time, much quicker than if you had a friend there, because then the friend will remind you constantly of that time that you sprayed hot thoughts all over yourself. Maybe I'm that friend now and you are sharing that experience.

00:05:23
Speaker 2: And this is a very now. It isn't for public consumption. This entire memory is landing on hundreds, if not well hundreds of millions of millions. Yes, let's just say it one hundreds of millions. Come on, and yeah, you, but I mean, that's why I'm dragging everyone into my trauma here.

00:05:40
Speaker 3: Sure, and that's your choice, and that's your choice.

00:05:43
Speaker 2: That is my choice. I left through the back of the restaurant, and I'm just gonna you know, I actually have a plan to eat there again tomorrow because I made made flans with a friend to eat there tomorrow, and it'll be my retort.

00:05:58
Speaker 3: And then I just think, for you know, the scientific method, like you gotta spray yourself with hot sauce again tomorrow. I feel like that's your control. You know. I don't know, but when your hair looks fantastic, it's I put it in too much purple toner. And so I for those of you who can't see this, which is everybody. It's a bleached blonde, but I'm taking the brassiness outd so as people know, you got to put in the purple toner and cancel it so it.

00:06:27
Speaker 2: Looks a little too violet. I don't think it looks that violet, almost like to me. I almost thought that maybe it was just the lighting of the zoom or whatever. Sure, sure, and you get prints lighting, yeah for sure, right so, but maybe in person it's way too much and it's kind of that.

00:06:42
Speaker 3: You're correct.

00:06:43
Speaker 2: Where are you right now?

00:06:44
Speaker 3: I'm in a hotel in Burbank, California.

00:06:47
Speaker 2: Okay. I was going to say, you are currently sitting behind a hideous bookshelf or in front of a completely empty Would you have called this.

00:06:55
Speaker 3: Shelf hideous if I told you I was in my own living space. Yes, okay, good, I would think you would need.

00:07:02
Speaker 2: To hear that.

00:07:02
Speaker 3: I admire that. I thank you, thank you. I believe you too.

00:07:05
Speaker 2: What are you doing in Burbank?

00:07:07
Speaker 3: I'm just working here. And imagine if I said I was, like, you know it with vacationing or something, but exclusively to Burfect, exclusively to have to see the valley.

00:07:17
Speaker 2: I well, you know the valley.

00:07:20
Speaker 3: The valley is wonderful. I got to say, I was driving through it today and I was stopped by the In and Out Burger on Burbank Boulevard, I believe Making Avenue anyway, and I was just like, what a lovely part, what a lovely little pocket of southern California.

00:07:34
Speaker 2: This is, I think, Uh, you know, Sherman Oaks, You've got your Burbank North Hollywood. I can't quite speak.

00:07:43
Speaker 3: To right, I don't. I'm I'm familiar with none of it, but I can say that I am charmed by it.

00:07:49
Speaker 2: It's easy going, very easy going. The you know, I feel like the streets are wider, there's more parking. Absolutely, absolutely every fast food destination you could poossibly hoped.

00:08:00
Speaker 3: For, truly, and winning at the in and out wasn't even that long.

00:08:03
Speaker 2: It was.

00:08:04
Speaker 3: I think it was like right after the lunch rush. But it was only you know, five minutes in the drive through, you know, so there you go.

00:08:11
Speaker 2: What are you getting it? In and out?

00:08:13
Speaker 3: I'm not too I'm not too like cool about it. I just get animal style cheeseburger and a die coke and that's that.

00:08:22
Speaker 2: That's a nice, nice little male.

00:08:24
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, what about you.

00:08:25
Speaker 2: I'm getting a either a well, a cheeseburger animal style, no pickle, a great coke, uh huh, sometimes a French fry very similar. I love an animal style, of course, that's what.

00:08:38
Speaker 3: They're meant for. That's what they're known for. Thousand Island is sort of the poor man as in someone who makes my amount of money. It's the poor man's sort of condiment. I think it just it tastes sophisticated, even though you know it isn't right.

00:08:56
Speaker 2: It's a kind of like nineteen eighty three sophisticated.

00:08:59
Speaker 3: Oh yes, yes, absolutely, yeah.

00:09:03
Speaker 2: I think that explains it well enough. It does what's going on in your life.

00:09:08
Speaker 3: Let's see, I just got over a stomach bug. That was pretty fun, but it was like one of the nastier ones, maybe that I've maybe the nastiest that I've ever had in my life. But I got it in Georgia a couple of days ago. I was there with my sister. I ordered chicken and waffles because that's what you do, chicken waffles and fried green tomatoes, because that's what you do when you're in Georgia. And sure enough I was. It was coming out of me from both ends. Oh God, to the point where, like by like my twelfth trip to the bathroom in one night, I was like, where is this all coming from? I was like this, this cannot physically be possible. Like it felt like I was shitting from my skull, you know what I mean.

00:09:53
Speaker 2: I was like, your body is truly evacuating every space that has every space.

00:09:57
Speaker 3: And I was like, and I probably felt it from on my skin, which I think is like a very common thing. This isn't exceptional. But I was like, my skin is getting dryer, like by the minute. Anyway, I'm sorry, this is so that's not but that's not a stomach bug. That's full on food poisoning. Okay, what's the difference. I'm not I'm not I'm not an expert. And maybe you're talking to a doctor. Okay, so thank you. So then what is the difference?

00:10:21
Speaker 2: Tell me, Well, with food poisoning we're talking about or you had some spoiled chicken and your body is reacting with a with a stomach bug the medical term, Uh, there's a virus, there's a something is attacking your system from that you've you know, gotten from. Yes, I don't know how you get a stomach bug, I guess is my question? Somebody is that like airborne? Is that bacteria? I think we're like, that's like a not washing your hand situation.

00:10:48
Speaker 3: It's like a not washing your hand situation.

00:10:49
Speaker 2: I looked it up.

00:10:50
Speaker 3: It seems like it seems like I must have gotten it from a spoiled chicken. But but you're saying that is but you're saying that is correlated to food pisoning. It must have been food poisoning because it came and went in like, you know, twenty four hours. So I think I thank you for correcting my diagnos, keeping you honest.

00:11:11
Speaker 2: Yeah, I do feel like a food poisoning is something that can't go beyond twenty four hours. Here. Actually, I'm now recalling a food poisoning situation that lasted for three days after I had salmon, fish and chips, which was entirely on me.

00:11:24
Speaker 3: That's your fault. Yeah, where was this?

00:11:28
Speaker 2: This was in Salt Lake City, Utah, which is another I was ordering fish in salt like a lot of now like examining it in this moment entirely my fault.

00:11:40
Speaker 3: No, Okay, but see, I think you and I share this in common. We're both from these landlocked states here, from Utah, from Colorado. I guess I didn't realize until very recently that Denver is one of like the sushi capitals of the world.

00:11:53
Speaker 2: Is that true?

00:11:54
Speaker 3: How I don't know, but they like there's one restaurant in Denver that, you know, very sophisticated people from the coasts, the elites love to eat at this restaurant and Denver because they source the fish like obviously from other places, right, but apparently like Denver, like in like it's it's this great irony that like Denver has amazing sushi. I feel like Salt Lake City might also have that. So like has one really great sushi restaurant? Okay, Okay, I guess maybe maybe they're great because they have to really take it seriously.

00:12:27
Speaker 2: That's that.

00:12:27
Speaker 3: This is what I'm saying.

00:12:28
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're not just like finding fish out in the gutter like we do here in LA. You know, it's everywhere. They have to get it there, serve it quickly. Yes, that makes sense.

00:12:40
Speaker 3: I would love for her to be. Is there a restaurant in LA that's like Riverside is in by the La River, like there should be like there should be like a river view, but I bet it would. There's a way to make that very like legitimately romantic and charming and like the for the the the sort of ambient for the atmosphere to be really really great.

00:12:59
Speaker 2: I will say there's a new there's a La Barba. Is that what it's called. No, there's some some coffee shop that recently opened near the La River, Okay, And you can get your coffee and you can go kind of sit on the concrete hill hill, yes, and then look down at you know, like the eight tablespoons of water passing by and the small tree that's growing out of it.

00:13:22
Speaker 3: There you go.

00:13:22
Speaker 2: I mean, I think there's something there's there's always something very.

00:13:25
Speaker 3: Beautiful to me. I sound like such a fucking tourist, but there was always something really beautiful to me about the La River, just despite like the visual like it's two concrete inclines and a strip of water. Isn't there something really aesthetically pleasing about that?

00:13:41
Speaker 2: There is something? I mean, you're not going to see it anywhere else on earth, just like a hint, just truly like a rumor of water, a rumor of water, and it sums up the entire city very well, but I have no complaints about it, and it's obviously not going to get any better, right, I mean the water may actually diminish.

00:14:03
Speaker 3: Which is fine, which is horrifying. It's not like a dry creek that's really occurring.

00:14:08
Speaker 2: I love a dry creek.

00:14:10
Speaker 3: Oh me too.

00:14:11
Speaker 2: So you know, a very I don't know, very Steinbeck.

00:14:15
Speaker 3: Very Steinbeck. I was gonna say, it's very Utah.

00:14:17
Speaker 2: It's very Colorado, right, kind of rugged frontier, huh. And someone's had to suffer that kind of thing. Exactly. Have you how much time have you have you ever lived in La?

00:14:28
Speaker 3: I haven't. The longest time I spent here was the first pandemic summer where my friend and I were.

00:14:35
Speaker 2: Just like, we gotta we gotta leave New York, right.

00:14:37
Speaker 3: We gotta go. And then we only spent a month here. But that was the longest stretch of time away from New York and in LA that I've spent. And it was lovely.

00:14:47
Speaker 2: Where did you live?

00:14:48
Speaker 3: It was well, it was also, funnily enough, in the valley. It was Glendale and then Alta Dina so beautiful. It was just it was just in the valley and it was great. Okay, it was great. I mean you're looking at me like, I'm sure with concern.

00:15:05
Speaker 2: I don't know. I'm recovering from you saying the first pandemic summer. I mean the fact that that's a.

00:15:12
Speaker 3: I listened, I didn't. I that's not the I'm not creating this new reality. It's it's our reality.

00:15:18
Speaker 2: You're just better at dealing with it, I suppose, or.

00:15:21
Speaker 3: So then so wow, you you didn't you? You so far? Were you so far? Haven't called it? You have a different created, differentiated the two pandemic summers we've had so far.

00:15:31
Speaker 2: No far, Oh see, I did it again. I'm not even I'm just letting it all be one year. It truly does not feel there's no separation for any of it.

00:15:41
Speaker 3: Yeah, God, chilling right like it is. It is sad for me to think, oh, a year ago it was you know, kind of just as you know, terrible and but is there any part of you that misses that time? No?

00:15:54
Speaker 2: Okay, great, I mean maybe five years from now there will be something worse going on, and I'll be you know, nostalgia for yes, these quaint things. But look what, look.

00:16:04
Speaker 3: What are we going to do?

00:16:05
Speaker 2: Bridger?

00:16:05
Speaker 3: What's going on in your life? And I feel like I messed out. But on this is what's going on. I've caught Pokemon fever. Are you playing Archaeas? Are you playing?

00:16:13
Speaker 2: I haven't played Pokemon maybe since Game Boy Advance. I thought I'm going to get into it.

00:16:18
Speaker 3: Guess what it's because it's been the same game since Game Boy Advance until now, and now it's a whole new world. Are you paying world? I'm playing it? How far?

00:16:26
Speaker 2: Are you not that far? I just recently I've gotten the you know, like the deer that you get to ride on. What does that thing called weird deer?

00:16:34
Speaker 3: I believe it?

00:16:35
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, How far into it are you?

00:16:37
Speaker 3: I'm just I'm not that far either. I think I'm just maybe a few hours after where you are, and you're you're about to fight the Lord of the Woods.

00:16:47
Speaker 2: I did this. This is what I've done. Okay, okay, okay, where you're throwing balls of its favorite food at.

00:16:52
Speaker 3: It two okay, But then but then the game is like Balms, So there's there's a little bit of a con usion here where it's is it food? Is it a sedative Waxy exclusive thing? Like that?

00:17:08
Speaker 2: Lost me well, and the game kind of promised I was. I was hoping to see, you know, meatball shaped objects, and it was more tastefully done.

00:17:16
Speaker 3: They were bagged, and I wanted to see the food as well, So thank you for Yeah.

00:17:23
Speaker 2: I mean, I don't even know that it even told me what its favorite food was. So this is all left to the imagination, which feels like, you know, failing on the developer.

00:17:33
Speaker 3: I recently went on a tire rate on my own podcast about how some of the redesigns are truly truly horrid, such as such as okay, so in the fourth generation, which takes place in Sinow, which is so this is a prequel to that generation of games, there were these two legendary Pokemon called Dialga and Palkia Bridge are these developers have design to add like limbs and goiters and like protrusions. And there's there's a Pokemon called Gudra from like the sixth or the seventh generation that they brought back. But they've made Gudra look stoned and depressed. It's truly And I think the cell shading in the game and the graphics engine is lovely, but on some of the Pokemon, the light doesn't hit right and it just it just makes it look like a game from you know, fifteen years ago.

00:18:30
Speaker 2: Look, Pokemon is one of the most successful gaming game franchises of all time. I don't know why they couldn't find an extra few bucks in their pocket to just make it look wonderful. I'll never understand that.

00:18:44
Speaker 3: Neither will I. Did you play Breath of the Wild?

00:18:46
Speaker 2: Of course?

00:18:47
Speaker 3: Okay, great? And I feel like the game is so I can't tell if I respect her if I detest the way the game so blatantly borrows from that game.

00:18:59
Speaker 2: You know, it really feels like they found like a hard drive with that game's engine on it, and we're like, if we just make it look worse, no one will notice. Yes, yes, yes, but you know, I think whatever's happening with the Pokemon people, I think that for some reason, they struggled to make one aspect of video games, and so I just I'm cheering them on for whatever reason. They have technology from like two thousand and four, that's all they have to work with, yes, And so I let them off the hook. And I love to collect the Pokemon.

00:19:30
Speaker 3: Oh, it's been more fun than ever. I really am enjoying the game, making no mistake and all of.

00:19:36
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think we should be very clear about that. This game should be purchased. It should be Yes, absolutely, do you name your Pokemon?

00:19:43
Speaker 3: I used to, and for some reason in this game, the whole I don't know you. I find it that in this game you are relearning to do so many things that have been for decades conventional, and so.

00:19:59
Speaker 2: I'm not in the time because you do have to manually, you have to get into it, which is so infuriated.

00:20:04
Speaker 3: Exactly so I've only renamed three of them.

00:20:07
Speaker 2: Right. In the old games, you catch it and it asks you to name it, sort of on the spot.

00:20:12
Speaker 3: It puts you on the spot, and you're kind of like, well, I guess I get I better do it now, because I won't I won't have the sort of I don't know self starting initiative to like do it later.

00:20:22
Speaker 2: Right right, Yeah, I remember I think I had Pokemon read on the original was it the original Game Boy? It was very early gay behavior, naming every Pokemon with a woman's name. Yes, oh, yes, I think maybe sixth grade or something. But it's I love to name the Pokemon, and I wish that they would allow that to just that's one of the most important parts of the game to me, and the fact that I have to get in and do the work. I don't know that I have the timer patients exactly.

00:20:50
Speaker 3: Well, they make it a really tertiary part of the game now where it's like, right, there's like you're going to catch a million of these little starlies or whatever, so don't don't even bother. I don't like that because then it just it does make each Pokemon seem like its own living.

00:21:05
Speaker 2: It gives it some dignity, dignity above all. Ol. This game is absolutely robbing the pokemon of their dignity. It's turning them into common rodents.

00:21:16
Speaker 3: Common rodents? Are you you have? You have you picked up on like a naming style convention mentality right now?

00:21:25
Speaker 2: Because again I think I've named four of them. Because it's a giant pain, yes, yes, huge pain, huge pain, and you forget about it and you have all these other things to manage. It's like, I'll get to the naming. I'm brought to have to buy a baby naming book or something. That's actually not a bad idea, going to write that. Look into that.

00:21:46
Speaker 3: I did see someone on Instagram name they're they're like cherished Pokemon after real housewives, specifically of Salt Lake City speaking. Oh my god, so there was one I'm quillfish that someone named Genshaw, and I kind of looked how the same facial proportions as Genshaw.

00:22:05
Speaker 2: I was going to say, all of the Salt Lake housewives do have kind of a Pokemon quality. They all kind of look like they're from another realm.

00:22:12
Speaker 3: Do we dare assign each of them a Pokemon?

00:22:15
Speaker 2: I feel like that is going to be some territory.

00:22:20
Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, let's not bother. I'm glad we both checked ourselves that could that path could become dangerous almost.

00:22:27
Speaker 2: Immediately, very very very dangerous. I mean, but Salt Lake. The thing's going on on that show.

00:22:36
Speaker 3: We talked about salt We talked about that show on on my podcast pretty recently, and not that much time has passed, and yet it feels like so many things have happened, and I'm sure, like, yeah.

00:22:47
Speaker 2: I haven't had a chance to talk to anyone about I mean, the most famous moment with Lisa Barlow, the Darkness.

00:22:54
Speaker 3: The Darkness Bridger. I want you to think about a friend you've had for ten years that about you.

00:23:01
Speaker 2: Isn't that wild. I mean, yeah, even someone that you don't know calling you a garbage wore? What? What? What?

00:23:09
Speaker 3: Also, my friend's pointing out something very very interesting, which is that like multiple house iives have done this thing of saying she doesn't she doesn't even own her house or like you know, she doesn't even have a house. And that's never like the burn that they think it is because for most of us, watch for most of us non homeowners were like, yeah, neither do I.

00:23:31
Speaker 2: She's renting a place that is beyond my imagination. Yes, so that rental, Yeah, that rental is like insane. It's in like Park City, that's a very expensive place to mental exactly. My I just had this explained to me because I was so I was like, who is Lisa barlow talking to? I mean, I was imagining her, like my in my hope of hopes was that she entered that room there was kind of like a mysterious mirror that suddenly there was an evil version of her in and she was having conversation with you know, the other Lisa Barlowe. But apparently like the producer is in that room and she's talking to him as she's like disrobing. I don't understand what's going on. Yeah, I mean the explanation that was made to me was there are producers. I hope I'm not, you know, ruining the show for anyone, but like when someone storms off that they try to talk them down because they could get in the way of the storyline.

00:24:22
Speaker 3: Because they're because the stories are being produced by someone.

00:24:26
Speaker 2: Right, so there's somebody waiting there. Although for the producer that must be like, well, this is way better than our storyline. Sure, so I guess that you kind of prod and poke and say, well, what do you think about Meredith's infidelity, and then you just let her get into.

00:24:41
Speaker 3: It totally, totally. I just feel like I'm surprised that they haven't done this more often in the past, because it feels like someone that that's just like a perfectly rife territory for people to just like unload.

00:24:58
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I do you have. I don't know that I've ever heard, I mean outside of you know, like the leaked Mel Gibson tapes audio that violently angry's like, we're going.

00:25:08
Speaker 3: To compare Lisa to mel Gibson. She's just kind of a mel Gibson type. Yes, yes, it's absolutely. You know, I feel like I still relate to Lisa more than ever really how so well, I just I just think it's really flipped this year, this season, where last season I was really on Meredith's side, and this season I find Meredith to be as a little bit unhinged as the rest of the women, and now that they're all on like an even playing field, I find Lisa to be charming.

00:25:45
Speaker 2: Compared to the other women. Wow.

00:25:48
Speaker 3: Completely disagree, Okay, Okay, said I accept.

00:25:53
Speaker 2: I mean, I'm obviously you know, the one thing she and I have in common is the diet soda consumption.

00:25:59
Speaker 3: Yeah, but other.

00:26:02
Speaker 2: Than that, I just can't get on board with Lisa anymore.

00:26:05
Speaker 3: Are you are you? Are you pro Meredith?

00:26:07
Speaker 2: I'm not pro Meredith, but I do love she does. I mean, she's the one person with like a I feel like an operating intelligence, I'll say, sure, sure. And the fact that you know her saying she submitted everyone to a private investigator, I mean, just whatever's going on in her life. She I love how much better she thinks she is than everyone else on the show. That comes through loud and clear, and you like that. I love it.

00:26:35
Speaker 3: I find someone like a Whitney or a Heather very sympathetic because they are also clearly much more emotionally intelligent than anyone on the show.

00:26:47
Speaker 2: Emotionally intelligence certainly, well, Whitney, I don't know Whitney, I don't know Heather certainly.

00:26:53
Speaker 3: Oh but the way Whitney was just rattling off all these all like the not legal eese, but she was like, well, you know, on the first bus to Veil, which she was like fraud, fraud, and she was just like like like Whitney knew the lay of the land immediately. She like she like she like got it, and she was explaining this to the other women in a way that I was like, oh, no, Whitney. I've always found Whitney to be very smart and obviously like she's bubbly and she's you know, she kind of like turns on some sort of persona, but I feel like she is very intelligent. Her draining her savings notwithstanding for no reason at all, for no reason at all, absolutely no reason.

00:27:36
Speaker 2: Bo And I mean I would be I would happily happily talk to you about the housewives and Pokemon for another hour. But look, I mean, housewives are a nice segue into this next thing I'd like to get into because I'm just going to say, you've been rude. There's something I need to talk to you about. Okay, this could end up with one of us calling the other a garbage wore. It's impossible to say.

00:27:59
Speaker 3: Who do you think would do that? I'm sorry, I'm cutting you off.

00:28:02
Speaker 2: I feel like you're going to I feel like you're very likely to storm into another room at this point as the one right, and then Anna Lise has to talk you off the cliff. Bowen come back to the podcast, and then you come back. I'm in tears.

00:28:18
Speaker 3: Whatever I do, have a mirror version of myself that i'm speaking to.

00:28:24
Speaker 2: You agreed to be on this podcast a little while ago. I was so happy. I thought, Bowen's so funny. We're going to have a nice time. We'll talk and then it'll be over, we'll move on. So I was a little surprised. You know, the podcast is called I said no gifts. You knew that when you agreed. I knew that when I made the offer. I was a little surprised the other day when I opened the door and found a package. Would you can say.

00:28:55
Speaker 3: Where it's from.

00:28:57
Speaker 2: I'm not going to say where it's from. I'm not going to say where it's from, not because I want to protect you. I want to protect me, and I don't sure. You know. I saw a package, and I, you know, occasionally order from this company, and I so you know, I forgot so I ripped it open in my greedy way, and immediately upon seeing what was inside, seeing that it was, you know, an object that I had not ordered, averted my eyes. I thought, obviously Bowen has sent some sort of surprise to the podcast. I don't know what it is. I still don't, you know, the listener knows that I'm very honest about this. I like a surprise. I will say I saw a flash of pink. That's all I can say.

00:29:39
Speaker 3: That's all.

00:29:41
Speaker 2: It's now kind of in this gorgeous.

00:29:47
Speaker 3: Bag. Yeah, there's like a floral print some clearly used tissue paper inside.

00:29:55
Speaker 2: Bowen, is this a gift for me?

00:29:57
Speaker 3: It is a gift for you. I know a lot of guests typically write cards. I didn't know such a thing because I knew that would have probably incensed you even more.

00:30:07
Speaker 2: Thank you. I appreciate that You're welcome. Uh, well, should I open it here? On the podcast I you might as well.

00:30:14
Speaker 3: I mean, we've gone this far.

00:30:22
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, I apologize, Thank you for your apology, Thank you a thousand times. And now we're ripping in here tissue. Now here's the offending package, and we're going to find and find out what's happening. What's in it? Okay?

00:30:37
Speaker 3: Are we ready? Oh? What is this? This is on send powder? And I should have I should have inquired whether or not you had a bathtub, because this is just a lovely little bath powder you put in to simulate.

00:30:53
Speaker 2: The experience of being in a Japanese hot spring. Oh my god, I do have a bathtub, and I've ever been to an so this is perfect. Have you been to Japan.

00:31:05
Speaker 3: I've not been to Japan. I just have this weird just fascination with the culture, right.

00:31:11
Speaker 2: Right, I think? I mean, I would say probably you might have a similar thing to me that playing up, growing up, playing video games and consuming Japanese pop culture exactly, it probably has led to that what this is fascinating? So how did you? I mean, I'm familiar with the idea of an nonsense, but I've never I wouldn't be able to tell you that there's a special powder there, but.

00:31:33
Speaker 3: There's a powder for it. This is something that again the first pandemic summer. I'm sorry to bring that up again. I'm sorry to remind you of your whiplash back to this of our chronology. I'm sorry, but we I looked up bath stuff because I was like, before the pandemic, very anti bath, but you had nothing else to do. So then I got really into bath and then I read somewhere I forget where it was, but someone did sort of check this item as something that they enjoyed, and I was like, I'm going to order that, And since then I got to say, I really, this is sort of an essential component of my bath ritual.

00:32:18
Speaker 2: So is it like a like a bubble? Bath is just a light film what's happening?

00:32:24
Speaker 3: And the powder? Yes, the powder is just a light fragrance. A color. Sometimes. I think there's an assortment of colors in that box that I've given you. So there's gonna be like a very chemical unnatural green, a pink, a yellow, but it will feel really nice on the skin. It will not foam or bubble. So if you want that to be part of your sensory thing, like, you gotta buy your own bubble bath.

00:32:55
Speaker 2: So do you do a combination or did you just do the powder?

00:32:58
Speaker 3: I always do a combination, okay, And I find that it really kind of is a complete bath experience for me.

00:33:07
Speaker 2: Now, listener, I'm just to describe what I'm looking at. It's essentially like a little pink box. There's like a little I think a Japanese woman on the front, and then obviously all of the texts and Japanese. But it looks like there are multiple powders or something in this.

00:33:23
Speaker 3: There's multiple powders.

00:33:24
Speaker 2: I was expecting basically like a small plastic bag that would not be where I would accidentally dump into the bath and then it would all be gone. These are individual almost like a.

00:33:33
Speaker 3: Yeah, how would you describe it?

00:33:35
Speaker 2: It's almost like a you could drop this in a to go bag at a restaurant and someone would pour this on their food. It's like a small ketch packet on like a large ketchup packet.

00:33:44
Speaker 3: I mean if you were at you know, if that was with you at lunch today, you would have just tore it and open and it would have sort of just popped all of your your clothes. I each individual package is good for one bath.

00:33:56
Speaker 2: Oh, this is treat it as you would cash, Yes, yes, okay, So how often are you bathing?

00:34:04
Speaker 3: I'm not. I don't do it that often. I'll keep it to like once a week or once every two weeks. It's more, it's more actually accurate, to say once every ten days or so.

00:34:14
Speaker 2: Oh, that's pretty frequent, though, the rice a month? Is it to take a full bath every ten days? I would say maybe, I'm I'm taking a bath once every five weeks. I want to isolate all this audio and release it. So it just sounds like you and I are either bathing every ten days or every five weeks, and then the rest of the time we're filthy. Yes, yes, we don't do any sort of cleaning. Yeah, there's no showering, there's nothing. I'm just covered in grime. And then every five weeks I get hosed down and I consider that a bath. No, I will. I will fill a bath once every five weeks, and it's incredible.

00:34:49
Speaker 3: Yes, what keeps you from doing it more often?

00:34:53
Speaker 2: Well? I don't like to enjoy myself.

00:34:55
Speaker 3: It is wasteful. Okay, Okay, I actually don't think a bath is wasteful. I think a shower is probably more wasteful than a bath. I've been recently told the opposite, and I don't know who to believe, because I'm so willing to believe you, to believe you to do Yeah, I just I wish that the baths weren't. But I'm someone told me on good authority that it's more wasteful. Who told you this? The water? The water, the water, the force? Water force knocked.

00:35:28
Speaker 2: On your door? Yes that, Hey, you know what, we know you like this, but I can't do it. I just feel like I take long showers and that water's just going down the drain NonStop. You know I'm in there for twenty twenty five minutes. Well, oh, okay, that's not that long. That sounds like someone's having a breakdown.

00:35:50
Speaker 3: I'm not in there for twenty five minutes, Okay, I believe you ten I.

00:35:53
Speaker 2: Would say probably ten to thirteen minutes.

00:35:56
Speaker 3: When I was growing up, or not when I was growing up. I remember growing up and watching an episode of Seinfeld, and I think, like Kramer has is pulling everybody like how long their showers are? And everyone answers him ten minutes, and I was like, I guess I should be taking longer showers, and to this day, I still only take like a three minute shower. And you know how he can tell is because I'll put on a song before I get in, and by the time i'm out, I'm like, the song is still on.

00:36:27
Speaker 2: Oh and that is way too short. I'm hearing two songs at least.

00:36:31
Speaker 3: Okay, have you I don't know, so I let me just walk you through what my typical shower is. I'll get in, do do shampoo, then conditioner because I leave the conditioner in for a minute or so. Okay, but that whole process takes what two minutes?

00:36:47
Speaker 2: Sure?

00:36:48
Speaker 3: Then that third minute, I'm just slathering on some shower gel, some body wash, rint it off, and then I'm out.

00:36:56
Speaker 2: This is so joyless. What else are you doing in there? Okay? This is me I put on the music.

00:37:02
Speaker 3: Yeah.

00:37:02
Speaker 2: And also I'll say that when you're in the shower, it's a good time to listen to new music or like music that you're like you would like to get used to. Okay, you know, there's less pressure on the music. It can just be noise. Yes, I get in there, the first probably three minutes are just getting my hair wet and just you know, releasing my cares. Okay, then I'm you know, I'm getting the whatever. That's three minutes of nothing, three minutes of absolutely nothing, okay, great, just truly being wet and letting the temperature rise. Then I'm let's see what's happening next. I'm getting the what what is this? What is the little pollu poof? Yeah? Yeah, it's a lufa. Technically it's like a plant that's then dried, which I've learned recently. I'm using the plastic one that is probably contributing to some sort of ecological nightmare. Or sure, put the soap on it, wash up, rinse off. Okay, So then what we're five minutes into showering. I'm then I'll spend another two minutes just kind of dicking around, just doing nothing with myself. I will then shave, okay, which takes considering that my face barely has any facial hair.

00:38:24
Speaker 3: Maybe two minutes. Great, what are we looking at here? I'm already dressed it, I'm already dressed. I'm already out the door. I'm out of my apartment.

00:38:35
Speaker 2: At this point. What are you doing? Okay? Then I you know, I lost the shaving cream. Uh huh. Maybe another and then it really depends on where I am mentally, because then the course we're done, we're done, but that could then we've got a minute too. I would say five minutes left of truly nothing, just enjoying the spa atmosphere of the shower. How are you standing? Can I ask?

00:39:04
Speaker 3: Are you like during those moments of idling, like are you like just kind of like limbs down, just kind of like like my soul just left my body? Or are you like rubbing on yourself like I'm just I'm just I'm sorry to ask.

00:39:18
Speaker 2: I'm dancing, you're dancing. I am absolutely dancing. No, that's a really good question. What am I doing?

00:39:26
Speaker 3: I don't want to know. That's a vulnerable question. That's I'm sorry, that's a vulnerable I don't think.

00:39:30
Speaker 2: It's a vulnerable and vulnerability is crucial. It is talking about showering, but I truly don't know what. I've never even thought about because I'm not really moving. I guess I'm kind of you.

00:39:43
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'll do mine for you, because this is this is this is mean just doing nothing in the shower.

00:39:48
Speaker 2: I'm kind of.

00:39:49
Speaker 3: Like like my, my, I think my, I think I'm just doing like this my arms are on my on my biceps, just kind of like just kind of keeping holding myself.

00:39:57
Speaker 2: Close like you've been through. So do you need a shock blanket or something? Yes, I wonder am I I'm not doing this? I might be like, you know, running my fingers through my hair. I mean, this is the most erotic this podcast will ever be. I love it, but I yeah, I'm now I'm going to be so self conscious, so self conscious the next time I'm in the shower.

00:40:21
Speaker 3: I don't want to make you like that. I just I'm just curious because you're spending a long stretches of time relatively speaking, just any rabbit state not doing anything in the La River is hurting for water, and you're taking all of it.

00:40:37
Speaker 2: Oh what a shame. I mean, I guess I'm just gonna have to figure out what I'm doing in there. You know, this is such an excellent question. Occasionally I'll sit down really Oh yeah, depending on your mental state, right absolutely in like level of fatigue, yes, yes, yeah, I don't know.

00:40:55
Speaker 3: No, that's that's totally fine. I think American beauty scared me out of space too much time in the shower, That's what it was. It was a Seinfeld in American Beauty being like Siginfall being like you should spend more time, and American Beauty being like you should spend less time because otherwise you're like Kevin Spacey and you're like, you know, this is like it's all downhill from here.

00:41:12
Speaker 2: Whatever. He said, Oh my god, I'm Kevin Spacey.

00:41:16
Speaker 3: You're Kevin Spacey.

00:41:17
Speaker 2: This is sorry, oh no, getting him a very dark road for me. I don't like.

00:41:23
Speaker 3: I'm sorry.

00:41:24
Speaker 2: Well, and I think you should add two extra minutes to your shower. That's all I'm saying. Five minutes feels like not five. Five.

00:41:30
Speaker 3: It is not too much. I will do five. I promise.

00:41:32
Speaker 2: There's so much water in New York. I mean, is there's plenty wor an island. You've got use it up, that's what I Yeah, yeah, okay, So I have my ons and powder, I dump it in the hot water, and then I just sit there for a while. Light some candles, absolutely play some music. I did buy.

00:41:52
Speaker 3: I did invest in, like one of those bathtub trays.

00:41:55
Speaker 2: And what are you putting on the tray.

00:41:58
Speaker 3: There's a candle sort of holder. Okay, there's an iPad a little like rack. If you want to like lean your iPad on, right, But let me tell you something. Within days immediately it developed molds.

00:42:13
Speaker 2: To throw it out, Yeah, because you're only doing it every ten days. I feel like if you were bathing every single day, maybe it wouldn't get the mold.

00:42:22
Speaker 3: I think no, I think it's because I'm bath I bathed too frequently, or interest more frequently than you. Whatever. But like it was, I think it's because I left it wet, or there are more opportunities for it to get wet and to pretain moisture so that they're for the mold. And where were you storing it? Does it just stay on the bath? I think I made a mistake of leaving it on the bath.

00:42:42
Speaker 2: Okay, but I feel like you kind of have no what are you going to do? Put it in a dark cupboard, it's going to be it'll walk away. I mean, they're not a mold on that.

00:42:51
Speaker 3: I know, I know, I guess. I guess there's that it's a flawed invention. It's a terrible invention. I mean, yeah, I I feel like mankind will never hack it.

00:43:04
Speaker 2: That feels like an impossible mountain to climb. It is it is, It is so do you read in the bath? What are you doing just relaxing?

00:43:10
Speaker 3: No, I'm just I'm just like truly, it's my one place to Maybe the reason I do it so often is because outside of the walls of my bathroom, I feel like I okay, so see this is we have a similar relationship with our tubs, showers, whatever, because I do feel like I have no control and I don't want to make this like a self care thing. It's but it's just literally that like I feel like outside of the bathroom, I don't I cannot achieve this level of relaxation, right, yeah, right, So you're just going for it when you're in the bath exactly, although you were bringing your iPad in. I know, do you judge me for this?

00:43:55
Speaker 2: I don't judge you for it, but I just feel like that's such an opposite end of the spectrum as far as relax sho't goes. I mean, like, oh, but to put on a show or something, I can't have I have to have the outside world removed. I mean, the only thing I can do is read, maybe read a book, okay, okay, But like the one thing that appeals to me about a wet environment is that my phone can be nowhere near me iPad computer? Sure, I mean, I just can leave that to the rest of my life.

00:44:23
Speaker 3: If I were to be electrocuted by an electronic device while I was in the path like that, that makes the most sense to go that way to.

00:44:31
Speaker 2: Be your end.

00:44:33
Speaker 3: Yes, to be killed by an electronic because I feel like they've slowly, you know, just corroded my soul.

00:44:41
Speaker 2: Right, I mean, I think I can see myself playing Pokemon in the path. Sure, I could probably get into that. Wait, like like like on the switch, Liken see that? Okay, do you mean that? Because I can never do that? That sounds very relaxing to me, because video games has nothing to do with what I do in my life, right, it's entertaining. I mean, my my fear would be I was going to destroy my switch.

00:45:05
Speaker 3: Of course, we'll see. I should be specific that the only TV I watch in the tub is reality TV because because I have no relationship to it, because I'm not like, well, they must have. I must have taken forever to say, you know, like I'm never thinking about the production.

00:45:23
Speaker 2: You know, Yeah, that makes sense. That's I mean, basically, the only television that feels remotely relaxing to me anymore is reality because of that exact reason, I'm not thinking about that people behind it exactly.

00:45:37
Speaker 3: But I guess I'm sorry to make this like an industry convo, but like does this does this apply to Like, I don't know, does this make you? I feel like I'm a bad student of my medium if I'm not like constantly like up to speed on like what's out there.

00:45:53
Speaker 2: It's a horrible line to have to walk. I know, I don't want to fall behind. I need to know what's going on. It's you. You know, it's valuable to see what other people have created, sure, but it's also miserable.

00:46:06
Speaker 3: You have to protect yourself.

00:46:07
Speaker 2: Yes, So yeah, it's like, I mean, I try to walk a nice line. And I feel like the pandemic has helped in like really increasing the amount of reality TV I've watched, so I always have like a shark tank of housewives these things to fall back on where my brain is at, you know, working at half speed, feels.

00:46:27
Speaker 3: In cress, feeling the best feeling have you? Are you a ninety dight fiance person?

00:46:31
Speaker 2: I was for quite I mean, I think maybe five seasons at the beginning of the pandemic.

00:46:36
Speaker 3: Okay, great, great, great, do you watch it? I am only sort of picking and choosing which seasons, and it's mostly before the ninety Days.

00:46:44
Speaker 2: It's not the other one, right, Yeah, I think that I have only seen ninety Day and there are so many spinoffs, too many. One might say, yeah, I mean there, they've diluted the brand in a way that is I've never seen before. There's like one where I think that the couples just watched the show.

00:47:04
Speaker 3: Yeah, and I did watch one of those episodes last night. How did that feel? Kind of insane? I was like, what am I watching? Exactly? It's them react, it's them reacting, it's them watching themselves on the show. And then it's them responding to tweets, like really horrid tweets about themselves. And I'm like, this is actually not I'm watching someone be like actually hurt by something, you know. On the top of Yeah, they're not making any money, it's not like there this was making them rich.

00:47:37
Speaker 2: Well can I say that.

00:47:40
Speaker 3: I did ask one of the producers, a friend who I later found out worked on one of these seasons. I was like, how much money do they make? And he did say that they make as much money as a first year cast member on SNL. So I was like getting me, I feel like it makes total sense because you want to incentivize them being on the show.

00:47:59
Speaker 2: Right, and the people are so out of control. Sure you just think that they would like work for a bag of French fries.

00:48:05
Speaker 3: Yeah that's true. Oh yeah, yeah, which is what I get paid my first season. Yeah. This is not to say that, like, no, that the famously the contracts are not that great for people working at the show starting out, and I can comfortably say that anyway.

00:48:21
Speaker 2: Yeah, but it's not bad money as well. I mean I just feel like for a ninety day fiance person to be making over four dollars an hour is shocking to me?

00:48:32
Speaker 3: Is shocking? Yes, absolutely shocking because these people seem completely depraved and desperate.

00:48:39
Speaker 2: In every aspect of their lives.

00:48:43
Speaker 3: But stop watching.

00:48:44
Speaker 2: Sorry, Oh of course I h that I started watching Survivor. Do you watch Survivor?

00:48:51
Speaker 3: I have also only picked and chosen my Survivor seasons, but I do love it.

00:48:57
Speaker 2: It's incredible. I mean, there are how many seasons at this point, thirty forty, forty one, forty one Did you watch this most recent this most recent season. This is my experience with the show we watched, and my detailing of this is going to be so painfully vague. There were like two seasons on Netflix we didn't watch Herosen Villains. Watched like something from twenty fourteen. Okay, great, loved it, then jumped back to season two. I loved it, Season three, loved it. I will say the seasons where they don't have access to an ocean, I have a hard time watching because everyone is so dusty all the time. Yeah, yeah, I need to know these people who are like getting into like salt water and scrubbing themselves off.

00:49:40
Speaker 3: It's yeah.

00:49:42
Speaker 2: I think like the Africa season was very hard because they just hadn't They were so dirty all the time.

00:49:47
Speaker 3: They were just covered in dust. Give these people an ocean. Same with China, they were just really dirty the whole time.

00:49:54
Speaker 2: Yeah, please please please give them access to something that they'll be able to watch themselves. But I will say season two and three are shocking to watch because it's like a different show. I mean, like it's brutal. They're killing animals, a guy falls into a fire and burns his hands off. It's really wild to watch. Have you seen any of the early seasons.

00:50:14
Speaker 3: I think I watched the first when I was in like, I don't know, elementary school, right, and I must have, just I don't remember a single thing from them because it probably was so shocking as a child to see, right.

00:50:30
Speaker 2: My only experience with Survivor up until Pandemic was the finale of season one. We watched Richard hatch Win, and then I moved on with my life and so I'm revisiting. But yet this most recent season, I was maybe two episodes, and I had to give the amount of rules and games that are now being played on this show. Yeah, it has become like a puzzle box. Yeah it is a little bit.

00:50:57
Speaker 3: It is.

00:50:58
Speaker 2: But Jeff Probe's fascinating person.

00:51:01
Speaker 3: I I really admire him. I find him to be so good at what he does, and he'll let it, he loves it. But he his job requires so many skill sets, and I feel like he excels in all of them.

00:51:16
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's I mean, I'm sure his hosting of the show was basically kind of by accident. He was kind of kind of a starter, and he's just perfect for the job somehow, Like I don't either.

00:51:27
Speaker 3: He was like born to do it or if like he just picked up these things as he went right, like you.

00:51:32
Speaker 2: Know what I mean, whatever he's I mean, dream job.

00:51:36
Speaker 3: Dream job, and like the I I have not seen this season, but I think this is one of them on Netflix where Zeke Smith gets outed at tribal Council. I'm not familiar with this for Okay, So there's this big controversy where Zeke Smith, who incidentally was a friend of mine before he was on the show, he was outed by one of his his try mates. Oh my god, in the Tribal Council and it was shocking, and it was this incredible moment of television that was just so painful obviously for Zeke, but he handled it sort of so so well. And Jeff also knew exactly what to do in that conversation where he was like wait, like this is this is insane and like basically asked this person to leave. Was just like oh, he was like, we don't even have to do the voting, like we all know what's happening here.

00:52:25
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I have to see this.

00:52:27
Speaker 3: It's actually it's it's pretty riveting. I will it's obviously like it should not have happened, and Zeke has like really talked at length about this, but there's something in the way that Jeff like steers the conversation and is able to like really make sure that Zeke is taken care of. Before he's able to he opens up a door for everyone to be like, why the fuck would you do that? Wow, it's pretty incredible.

00:52:52
Speaker 2: Yeah, well I need to see it.

00:52:53
Speaker 3: Yeah, anyway, I haven't seen the whole season, but even lacking that context, it's it's very interesting to watch.

00:52:59
Speaker 2: I mean, I mean the contestants on the show, I mean they're all over the place, especially these early seasons like go Back, You're like, oh, I wonder what happened to that person? You look them up twenty years later, it's like, oh, they're like a child molester now.

00:53:11
Speaker 3: Yeah, sure, Or they're Elizabeth Hasselback ye I oh.

00:53:13
Speaker 2: I mean that what a thing. That is the fact that she's like a seventeen year old or whatever in that season and is now the devil is now the devil. Very interesting transformation. Is there anything else we need to say about Hansen Powder? We don't, Okay, we.

00:53:30
Speaker 3: Really don't think. I think you've I think we've really sort of done an expository look at like shower and bath culture. So I think I think we've covered all our bases.

00:53:41
Speaker 2: I'm so excited about it. I think it's time to play a game. Okay, do you want to play? Actually, that's my gift to a curse. I'll tell you how how to play it when we get into it. I need a number between one and ten six. Okay, I have to do some light calculating. You can recommend something, you can promote something, do whatever you want.

00:53:59
Speaker 3: I'll be I recommend Pokemon Legends Archaeiss, now available on Switch. You can watch your Sindqui evolve into Aquilava, which then evolves into a Typhlosion, which in this redesign looks so crazy, like why did they make this choice to make Typhlosion look again like depressed and stoned. I don't know. I just really have a lot of questions. I'd love to sit down with the people at game freaking Nintendo to really ask them to explain some of these design choices.

00:54:37
Speaker 2: Beautiful. Wait, I didn't ask you what Pokemon you your starter Pokemon was?

00:54:42
Speaker 3: Was? It was in fact a Sindequila?

00:54:43
Speaker 2: What about you?

00:54:44
Speaker 3: Is that the fire one? Yes, that's who I picked. It looks great looking, little creature. Very sweet, you bo.

00:54:55
Speaker 2: When this is how gift or a curse works, I'm going to name three things you're gonna tell me if they're a gift to our curse and why there are absolutely correct answers to this game. You can lose. So many people have lost this game, and it's just shattering to think about. So be careful. Okay, okay. Number one, this is a listener's suggestion. Somebody named Doug has written in gift or a curse. Chance encounters gift.

00:55:22
Speaker 3: I feel like a chance encounter implies like welcoming something. If it's an unfavorable chance encounter, then you wouldn't call it a chad encounter. I feel like it's a gift.

00:55:37
Speaker 2: It's usually a gift beautifully played.

00:55:41
Speaker 3: Okay, great.

00:55:41
Speaker 2: Yeah, you don't have a chance encounter with a murderer. No, I had a chance encounter with my attacker. No. You have a chance encounter with somebody that you enjoyed from your past or someone who may you know help you on your way.

00:55:57
Speaker 3: Yes, never with an enemy.

00:55:59
Speaker 2: No, no, no, no, no, it's definitely a gift. I mean, what's the word for random run in.

00:56:08
Speaker 3: Yeah, like run in. I think run in.

00:56:11
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think a run in sounds kind of violent and unhappy. It's like, oh, I had to run in with a coworker that I thought I even never see again exactly, and then we had to talk and his husband was there and I hate him too. That kind of thing. Chance encounter, Yeah, lovely, absolutely, Okay, Okay, you got one out of one so far. Very nice. Number two gift or a curse? Bucket hats.

00:56:38
Speaker 3: This, I will say is a curse, because there is I'm going to say it, there is an able ism to bucket hats for people with large skulls, and there's no such thing as a bucket hat large enough to make someone with big head like me look good. So it's a curse. Oh my god, I'm not gonna let you win this game, but you have gotten two out of two so far.

00:57:13
Speaker 2: The return of the bucket hat who is famously worn. It's like, uh, it's a curse. Okay, let's be Clario's a curse.

00:57:21
Speaker 3: It's like Woody Allen Jamarkuai are these the two most famous bucket hat wearers? And I can't think of anyone else.

00:57:30
Speaker 2: The guy on Gilligan's Island.

00:57:32
Speaker 3: Oh, honesly is saying something? Would she say she's the guy from the New Radicals, of course? Oh yes, the cover on the cover.

00:57:40
Speaker 2: Yes, that's maybe the most famous bucket hat of all.

00:57:43
Speaker 3: I can't think of anyone. Did Harriet the Spy wear one.

00:57:46
Speaker 2: Oh that's an interesting I feel like, uh, you know, teen and tween girls can wear a bucket hat, but for the rest of us, let it go. It's a hideous looking thing. It makes everyone look bad, and we're gonna regret it. I've we did it before in nineteen ninety eight. For years, everyone regretted it, and now they're back. We're gonna regret it again.

00:58:07
Speaker 3: Oh god, yeah, they look.

00:58:10
Speaker 2: I mean now I'm thinking I feel like I've seen Diane Keaton in a bucket hat.

00:58:14
Speaker 3: No, it's not a bucket hat like like you mean in like something's gotta give, right, I'm picturing her when she's walking down the beach with Jack Nicholson. Yeah, she might be wearing a bucket hat.

00:58:27
Speaker 2: I guess hers is more of like a beach hat, a woman's beach hat. Yeah, yeah, hold on, beause I'm looking this up too. I can't imagine her in like a bucket hat. She bought it pack son, You know, right, well, she is okay, she's wearing a white bucket hat. She absolutely is. Well, but did it look good on her? She looks good at it?

00:58:50
Speaker 3: I think, And this is this is the Nancy Meyers thing, is that the store, the plot point was turtlenecks in that movie. Do you remember have you seen this?

00:59:02
Speaker 2: No?

00:59:03
Speaker 3: Okay, it's a whole narrative device that she wears, that her character loves turtlenecks, and so to add one more sort of polarizing, not that tournaments or that polarizing, but for her character to wear this other really distinct piece of clothing as I think too much.

00:59:21
Speaker 2: It's but I think you put that much on and you come back around and it works. Maybe I think that may be the intended.

00:59:29
Speaker 3: The fact that we're having this discussion, the fact that we're arguing about whether or not this bucket hat works on her, means that it doesn't work. It means that bucket hats don't work on anybody. Curse, curse for everybody.

00:59:43
Speaker 2: That's the final word. I absolutely agree. I'm you know, this will be the beginning. I'm hoping that we can kind of just nip bucketheads bucket hats in the This is such a difficult thing to say, nip it in the bud with the bucket hats. Let's just get them out, move on fashion, can you know, leave it alone?

01:00:02
Speaker 3: Leave it alone?

01:00:02
Speaker 2: Two out of two this is terrific. I mean whatever, Okay, Number three gift or a curse? Now, this is an interesting one. Pop culture cookbooks, I e. Recipes from Harry Potter. You go out and buy a cookbook and it's like Harry Potter's stew or whatever.

01:00:20
Speaker 3: Harry Potter stu sounds disgusting. I feel like it's I feel like that.

01:00:29
Speaker 2: I feel like you're you're feeding me easy ones because I feel like these are pretty randomly chosen.

01:00:34
Speaker 3: Okay, that's why you take the number I feel like, I mean, they're always such clear marketing ploise and I feel like they must be considered curses.

01:00:44
Speaker 2: Is that your final answer?

01:00:45
Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, you're furious these is So this is the problem I've given you three. I mean, actually, there's no there's no arguing here.

01:00:56
Speaker 2: They're not really easy. But look, I can't there's no way I can argue that pop culture cookbooks are a gift. There's just not there's there's not an honest place to begin with with this. What anyone that buys one of these? What are you doing? What are you doing these things? Who is the recipe genius behind these? You trust somebody?

01:01:18
Speaker 3: What?

01:01:19
Speaker 2: I don't even know where to begin.

01:01:20
Speaker 3: I mean, do you have, like, like off the top of your head, like your favorite book, series, TV show, movie, video game of all time.

01:01:30
Speaker 2: That I would want a cookbook from? Like, is there a universe?

01:01:33
Speaker 3: Is there a world that you love, a fictional world that you love so much that you're like, I got to eat the food from that?

01:01:38
Speaker 2: Absolutely not, There you go. There's not a single one where I'm like, I need to replicate what I'm watching a character eat, Yes, let alone from probably like a ninth string cookbook author who is ghost written this thing. No, thank you.

01:01:54
Speaker 3: There's no fictional food that's that could be as good or better than the food that we already have.

01:02:00
Speaker 2: Well, and also it's just going to be disappointing. It's not going to be as good as what you imagined it would be, and it's just a sad situation. Just by a regular cookbook. There you go.

01:02:10
Speaker 3: If I'm making the thing it's not going to turn out well, And that's like such a dumb like uh burn like self brand. But I mean, like, why would you trust yourself to make this thing that was I don't know, like that that didn't exist before this book was written.

01:02:27
Speaker 2: Right, we saw like some prop person put together a piece of food. There was no recipe for that, right, it was just made to look good on screen. And now we're like cooking up I don't know, Dumbledore whatever balls meatball right, double door meat on me. Actually, I take all of this back. I would like to have a recipe for the food I was throwing at the Pokemon.

01:02:53
Speaker 3: Yeah, I want to know what those balls of food that I was able to subdue a magical creature, a giant rock bug with scissor hands, with scissor axe hens ax hans.

01:03:07
Speaker 2: That's right, that's right, Thank you for keeping me honest. Well, okay, I mean look, I think there are like four or five people who have won this game before. It's disgusting that you were able to just kind of stomp in here and win. Sorry, but you know, we'll chalk it up to lock of the draw.

01:03:23
Speaker 3: Yes, bo.

01:03:24
Speaker 2: When this is the final segment of the podcast, it's called I said no emails people right into I said no gifts at gmail dot com. All of them have these pathetic situations that need solving. Will you answer one with me?

01:03:37
Speaker 3: I'd be happy to.

01:03:38
Speaker 2: Okay, this is what this says, says Hi Bridger and whoever. So that's that's me. I don't know. That's kind of insulting. I don't know, that's okay. Today I got the shocking and delightful news that my friend Matt is now a parent. He and his husband adopted a foster kid two weeks ago. Congratulations to Matt. That's for me. This is a normal, normal thing for humans to do. But then he told me his son is nine years old. Okay. I was tickled and surprised because we're in our late twenties and this boy was born a year after we graduated from high school. Okay, this is all just the march of time we're talking about. You know, we're all in the river of time. It doesn't matter. Does one get a gift for a new parent of a nine year old? Is the gift for the parents or the child? What is a nine year old like in twenty twenty two? I have no idea Matt and I were good friends in high school, but we lost touch for a decade until a few months ago when he started talking. We started talking again casually. All I know about his life these days is that he's married. He's a meteorologist, oh I hope on television, and his husband's name is also Matt. Well, his husband's name is also Matt. This is becoming. The details, the way that they're kind of being laid out is interesting. I'll take any advice or suggestions you have. Thanks a million, Kevin. Okay, there's so much going on here. First of all, let's just say, yes, you get a gift for the nine year old, you get a gift for the parent. Yes, I mean I think we get an award for the parent to adopt a nine year old. What a challenge, What an incredible thing to do.

01:05:14
Speaker 3: Incredible, incredible.

01:05:16
Speaker 2: I mean that said, he's kind of been mysteriously gone for a decade and shows up with a nine year old son, and we don't know what this meteorologist is up to.

01:05:27
Speaker 3: And I will say, I agree with you, this is such a beautiful thing to do. I will say, to have two parents named Matt have a nine year old son, and for the parents to be in their late twenties. That sounds like a Sims house. It sounds like a Sims house. I commend these people for what they've done, for literally saving a life, but I don't know. I don't know. But of course get the gift. But also if you're only on a casual sort of if you're only on casual terms with them still, I don't know that.

01:06:01
Speaker 2: I feel like that's that's that's up to them. Yeah, it's up to Kevin. That's up to Kevin. It's up to Kevin. I mean, is the gift for the parents of the child. I think it's for both. I think actually this is way better than a baby situation, because like a nine year old you can zero in on a toy, you can do you know what the baby you're getting onesies or whatever. That's just like the most boring shit I know. I know, Action figures, Pokemon. What is a nine year old like in twenty twenty two?

01:06:25
Speaker 3: See I see it? This is actually I do I I okay, So I'm glad you're getting guidance on this because I don't I think I have any on what a nine year old likes.

01:06:33
Speaker 2: I mean, I just assume. I just think back. I don't know. Nine year old's like toys.

01:06:39
Speaker 3: Right, they like Transformers.

01:06:41
Speaker 2: I mean, this person has been brought into this kind of bizarre Matt Matt marriage, so they're probably gonna need just some level of comfort and security. A book.

01:06:54
Speaker 3: No, see, I'm so bad at this sleeping now.

01:06:58
Speaker 2: Probably know that Matt and that have like a pile of hay for this kid to sleep on. Yes, how about a fun sleeping bag with the nine year old's favorite you know character man? Come on, Batman, Superman, We've got spider Man, Lego.

01:07:16
Speaker 3: Yeah, oh, Lego, set a Lego said, Lego's great.

01:07:20
Speaker 2: Children love Lego.

01:07:22
Speaker 3: There you go, don't Yeah. I feel like they can keep it simple. And then and then I guess Kevin's asking what about for the parents?

01:07:31
Speaker 2: Yeah, I guess for the parents honestly.

01:07:34
Speaker 3: You know, you know what I say, Late twenties parents, nine year old kid, You get him a switch.

01:07:40
Speaker 2: Everybody's having a good time immediately, everyone's having a good time. Yes, although it's just I feel like Kevin's a bad I mean, let's just put it out there. Kevin is a bad friend. He's been out of touch. He's obviously jealous of the meteorology. Yeah, he's probably trying to break this up to get to one of the Mats. Kevin is obviously just behind in life.

01:08:02
Speaker 3: Sure, yeah, what do you think? How do you think Kevin started up this rekindling with Matt chance encounter, chance encounter.

01:08:14
Speaker 2: It feels close to me that, you know, he was probably like, you know, thumbing through a book at the bookstore and like like see something come into his periphery and it's like, oh, who is this? He looks up. It's Matt. It's Matt, and then Matt immediately unloads. I just adopted a nine year old. I need your help, and this is their best bet was to write into this podcast. I mean, I feel like best wishes to the nine year old. I feel like the three men in this situation are deeply irresponsible.

01:08:47
Speaker 3: You mean you mean Kevin, mattin Mat or Matt Matt, Kevin.

01:08:49
Speaker 2: Matt and Matt. You mean, hey, great, great, great. They're obviously relying on me and you at this point to salvage whatever this bizarre There was obviously some sort of rift at some point the ten years. Kevin, I mean, god knows what's going to end up happening, but this nine year old will make it out alive. Get him a sleeping bag.

01:09:08
Speaker 3: Get him a sleeping bag.

01:09:09
Speaker 2: Kids love sleeping bags. They do well, they'll they'll need them at.

01:09:12
Speaker 3: Some point for the sleepovers that they go.

01:09:14
Speaker 2: Right, you can write it down the stairs. Yes, makes you feel like you're camping. You wake up covered in sweat. Ugh, the best, the best.

01:09:23
Speaker 3: I do want to again apologize for the Sims family comment and just do you know what I mean? It's like, I mean, it makes perfect and it is such a beautiful radical image of a family that like I don't mean to like completely make it something so alien like, but like, you know, something not real.

01:09:44
Speaker 2: It is.

01:09:44
Speaker 3: I just think it's like something that I would have dreamed up when I was playing the Sims exactly.

01:09:48
Speaker 2: It's one hundred percent that I mean. And then I think that the real detail here is the Matt and Mad of it.

01:09:53
Speaker 3: Matt and Matt.

01:09:54
Speaker 2: You simply cannot marry someone with your first name.

01:09:57
Speaker 3: People do it all the time, and yet I still find some.

01:10:00
Speaker 2: You've got to change something.

01:10:01
Speaker 3: I go, what, oh, that's interesting, what's that about? You know?

01:10:06
Speaker 2: I don't know, but we we appreciate it. I mean of course we love this situation. We love it for the nine year old, We love it for Matt and Matt. I think maybe one of these Mats becomes a mart or A he gets into his Poka dex and changes his name.

01:10:21
Speaker 3: There you go, but he has to do it himself. Oh, wouldn't it be great if you, like, you know, married someone and then they ask you, do you want to change its name? Do you want to give it a nickname? I would love that.

01:10:34
Speaker 2: To fall in love with somebody, be with them for years, and then for them to ask you to change your name. Yeah, you just and then and then they do it. And then the ultimate sign of love, the truest sacrifice, you give up your identity, identity. If you love somebody enough, you would do that. Absolutely. Bo When I'm so thrilled about this powder, I'm going to take a bath within the next it's probably been three weeks since my last bath. Within the next two weeks, two weeks.

01:11:04
Speaker 3: There you go. Perfect.

01:11:05
Speaker 2: I've had such a wonderful time with you, so have I. I really enjoy my conversations with you, and I guess this is the end of the podcast. The listener, You're free to do whatever you want. I have no control over you at this point. Go wild, take care. I'll talk to you soon. Bye bye. I said, No Gifts is an exactly right production. It's produced and engineered by our dear friend Anna Lise Nelson, and the theme song is by miracle worker Amy Mann. You must follow the show on Instagram at I said No Gifts, that's where you're going to see pictures of all these wonderful gifts I'm getting. You have to see the gifts. Listen and subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher or wherever you found me. And why not leave a review while you're there. It's really the least you could do, considering everything I do for you. And if you're interested in advertising on the show, go to mideral dot com slash ads.

01:12:13
Speaker 1: Well, I invited you here, thought I made myself perfectly clear. When you're a guess to my home, you gotta come to me empty. And I said, no, guest, your presences presents enough. I already had too much stuff. So how did you dad to surbey me