Speaker 1: Welcome to Can't Fully Reckless, the production of iHeart Radio
Speaker 1: and The Black Effect. Oh Shit, be back on the air.
Speaker 1: Welcome back to y'all another carefully reckless episode.
Speaker 2: With your girl.
Speaker 3: Jeff's hilarious. I'm gonna be fixing mess y'all. What's up?
Speaker 3: What's good?
Speaker 1: How y'all doing out there? Checking on y'all mentals, checking
Speaker 1: on y'all mentals, y'all been checking on myne lately. I'd
Speaker 1: be going through my dm y'all. I just want to
Speaker 1: let y'all know, don't ever let no influencer or no
Speaker 1: celebrity make y'all feel that they don't be in MDMs,
Speaker 1: because it'd be money in there. So we all be
Speaker 1: in there, okay. But I just want to take a
Speaker 1: second and point out the love that I always get
Speaker 1: from you guys. Y'all be really like checking on me,
Speaker 1: checking on my mental, making sure I'm straight, whether something
Speaker 1: great to happen, whether something bad happen, whether y'all hear
Speaker 1: something good or bad. Y'all just be checking on me.
Speaker 1: And I just love y'all so much, so I just
Speaker 1: wanted to give y'all some appreciation real quick before I
Speaker 1: fixed this girl's mess. She sent a voice noe in
Speaker 1: and I love that cause y'all know I hate reading
Speaker 1: y'all run on sentences and shit, they be long as hell.
Speaker 3: All right, here goes the voice note.
Speaker 4: Hey dress, So I have found your podcast, maybe about
Speaker 4: I don't know, a month ago, you know, looking for
Speaker 4: shit to listen to while I'm at work. And I
Speaker 4: just want to say, I think it's great that you're
Speaker 4: helping people, you know, so help me fix my mess. Please.
Speaker 2: It's a lot why I'm gonna try to keep it short.
Speaker 4: So twenty four and I got two kids, two boys.
Speaker 4: My youngest one is twelve weeks so he's fresh.
Speaker 2: This has to do with they dad. Okay, So.
Speaker 4: Before I found out that I was pregnant, we had
Speaker 4: literally just broke up. And then I found out that
Speaker 4: I was pregnant.
Speaker 2: Okay, why did we break up? Well?
Speaker 1: This girl talk so goddamn slow. Come on, girl, People
Speaker 1: trying to listen before they get out of their car
Speaker 1: and go to work.
Speaker 3: Shit, you're gonna make somebody late.
Speaker 4: Basically, he was super disrespectful, you know, always calling me
Speaker 4: out my name, you know, like saying shit, you know,
Speaker 4: just just coming at my whole life. You feel me
Speaker 4: like literally just trying to, you know.
Speaker 2: Bring me down. And honestly, it.
Speaker 4: Was getting to a point where, like I was, I'm
Speaker 4: not gonna say that I was believing him, but it
Speaker 4: was definitely making me feel some type of way.
Speaker 2: Just just a whole lot of bullshit. And not only that,
Speaker 2: but like he put his.
Speaker 3: Hands on me, h uh uh.
Speaker 2: Like he wasn't like beating the fuck out of me
Speaker 2: or nothing.
Speaker 4: And I'm not trying to like say like that it
Speaker 4: was okay or anything like that, because no.
Speaker 5: It's not okay now.
Speaker 1: And now I know before I played the rest of
Speaker 1: the story, her ask not about to say he wasn't
Speaker 1: being like the fuck out of me or nothing.
Speaker 3: He was just like hitting me a little bit, bitch,
Speaker 3: was putting his hands on you. That's just all that matters.
Speaker 3: And he shouldn't have been doing it, but continue, but.
Speaker 2: He was doing that. And basically, you know, you know
Speaker 2: how you be in a.
Speaker 4: Relationship and you you hope that they change, and you know,
Speaker 4: you keep trying to talk to him and you're telling
Speaker 4: him that this is the problem, right, and this is
Speaker 4: the problem, and you just you know, you just keep
Speaker 4: putting up with it. Like I kept putting up with
Speaker 4: it until I got tired.
Speaker 2: So I broke up with him.
Speaker 4: Then, like I said, broke up with him, found out
Speaker 4: that I was pregnant with our second child, didn't get
Speaker 4: back together with him.
Speaker 2: Going uh so, long story short.
Speaker 6: You know, he ended up getting in like he got mad,
Speaker 6: and it ended with him going to jail, like because
Speaker 6: I call the cops and you know, like people will
Speaker 6: be like, don't call the cops.
Speaker 4: So like, I honestly, I didn't even want to say
Speaker 4: anything about it because you know, people feel.
Speaker 2: How they feel about it.
Speaker 3: Girl fuck people, Oh my god, Jesus, But.
Speaker 2: Honestly, I don't really like it's hard when you really
Speaker 2: don't have anyone else to turn to.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and you know, like my family, like they're not
Speaker 4: really the type, Like they wasn't coming through for me, honestly,
Speaker 4: And I mean it's cool, but you know, what else
Speaker 4: was I supposed to do? Like I'm like at this point,
Speaker 4: I'm scared. So basically, like at first, I was a
Speaker 4: little scared to.
Speaker 2: Tell him, like yo, like I don't want.
Speaker 4: To do this anymore because he came home and you know,
Speaker 4: he's trying to work it out and I wasn't you know,
Speaker 4: I wasn't expressing that, yo, like this isn't what I
Speaker 4: want to do, because I was low key scared.
Speaker 2: I'm a low because like.
Speaker 4: He it's when he gets mad, that's when he starts
Speaker 4: acting crazy. That's when he wants to start putting his
Speaker 4: hands on people and stuff like that. So I wasn't
Speaker 4: saying it, you know, but I was feeling it.
Speaker 2: And now like.
Speaker 4: I finally had the conversation with him, and you know,
Speaker 4: I came out and I told him like, I don't
Speaker 4: want to do this anymore, like.
Speaker 2: And you know, of course he didn't really like it.
Speaker 4: And then you know, like that narcissism or whatever, like
Speaker 4: he's like, well, I don't like you, like you're crazy
Speaker 4: if you thought that I ever wanted to be with you.
Speaker 2: Blah blah blah blah blah.
Speaker 4: But this is the thing, this is a cycle, you know,
Speaker 4: because I've told him that I didn't want to be
Speaker 4: with him before, you know, like I when I remember
Speaker 4: whenever I was mad or whatever, like I told him, and.
Speaker 2: He, you know say what he.
Speaker 4: Says, disrespect me, blah blah blah blah blah, and then
Speaker 4: he's trying, like three days later, we're back on the
Speaker 4: same shit.
Speaker 2: I mean, we're not back on the same shit. But
Speaker 2: three days.
Speaker 4: Later, he's acting like he didn't say anything, you know,
Speaker 4: like he didn't disrespect me or whatever, and I kindly
Speaker 4: remind him, and he's.
Speaker 2: Like, oh, well, I gotta say stuff like that to you.
Speaker 2: I've gotta be like that with you because blah blah
Speaker 2: blah blah blah. And to me, I just feel like
Speaker 2: that's bullshit. And basically, I guess.
Speaker 4: My question is because I feel like he doesn't really
Speaker 4: understand that I'm at a point where I really just
Speaker 4: don't want to be with him, like I want a
Speaker 4: co parent, you know. And that's another thing, like he
Speaker 4: uses that against me. He knows that I love my
Speaker 4: kids with all my life and I want them to
Speaker 4: have their father and their life, like I don't want
Speaker 4: them to grow up in a broken home.
Speaker 2: But at this point, it's like they deserve.
Speaker 1: A happy mom, absolutely not a miserable mom, because you
Speaker 1: can't do anything for them if you're not mentally okay.
Speaker 4: So yeah, he tries to use my kids against me,
Speaker 4: and I guess to just like stay around or you know,
Speaker 4: use that as a crunch. I don't know, but basically,
Speaker 4: I'm over it. I'm so done, like I don't I
Speaker 4: don't want to do it anymore. And I don't think
Speaker 4: that he understands that, Like he thinks like we just
Speaker 4: had a conversation and you know, like I guess he's
Speaker 4: horn it.
Speaker 2: He's trying to fuck so he's being super friendly.
Speaker 4: And like I said, I reminded him of the shit
Speaker 4: he said, and he you know, I just.
Speaker 2: Told you what is the reasons was?
Speaker 4: But I'm like, we're just friends or you know, like
Speaker 4: you're just my baby daddy.
Speaker 2: And he's like, yeah, all right, like yeah, okay, like stop.
Speaker 1: Playing with me, okay, so stop playing, Like does that
Speaker 1: affect you? Like I wonder does that like affect you?
Speaker 1: Him saying that, like yeah, I ain't playing, but you
Speaker 1: gotta really not be playing.
Speaker 3: Let me let you finish, girl, cause I'm about to
Speaker 3: have to lay into you.
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, this is so long.
Speaker 4: I'm sorry, girl, like for real, for real, if I
Speaker 4: was to really get down and dirty and into everything,
Speaker 4: like it would be a lot longer. I'm trying to
Speaker 4: keep it short. So basically, I know I keep saying that.
Speaker 4: My question is how can I get out.
Speaker 2: Of this situation?
Speaker 4: Safely and with him understanding that this is not what
Speaker 4: I want to do anymore.
Speaker 2: You know, Like what can I do?
Speaker 4: How can I get him to understand that this is
Speaker 4: not for me? Like at this point we've outgrown each other.
Speaker 4: What can I do? Because I don't want to, you know,
Speaker 4: Like honestly, I listen to a lot of true crime podcasts,
Speaker 4: and I be feeling like when I be listening some of.
Speaker 1: That shit like sound like me and him, Lord Jesus, well,
Speaker 1: I don't want you to. Don't listen to snaps because
Speaker 1: with a lot of them, when the women snap, they
Speaker 1: be killing the men and vice versa.
Speaker 3: So look, I think you just let me, let me,
Speaker 3: let you finish, Jesus.
Speaker 4: And like I said, like everything is probably not as
Speaker 4: bad as like the true crime podcast, but it's like
Speaker 4: close enough, and it be having me thinking like, oh
Speaker 4: my gosh, like this could literally be me one day.
Speaker 4: Like that's what I be thinking about, Like if I
Speaker 4: don't get out, it could get worse than this. I
Speaker 4: could end up dead, like and he's made threats like that,
Speaker 4: like he's starting to hurt me, you know, and he
Speaker 4: he even goes as far as the next person I go.
Speaker 2: But he's gonna hurt them too.
Speaker 4: So it's just like I'm worried, like I don't want
Speaker 4: to do this no more, but I want to be safe,
Speaker 4: and like by me being a little afraid, it's like
Speaker 4: keeping me.
Speaker 2: It's keeping me in this relationship.
Speaker 4: Well it's not even a relationship because we're not together.
Speaker 4: And I tell him that we're not together, but it's
Speaker 4: just like keeping him around.
Speaker 1: If you love me, you'll listen to this commercial and
Speaker 1: then we'll be right back. Okay, So that is the end, honey,
Speaker 1: Lord God, I'm gonna pray for you tonight and every
Speaker 1: other night until I hear from you again. But it's
Speaker 1: definitely time for you to get up out of there.
Speaker 3: I know that.
Speaker 1: You know you say that you're staying there. You because
Speaker 1: you well, you gave.
Speaker 3: Me a couple of reasons.
Speaker 1: You know, you want your kids to see the whole
Speaker 1: family dynamic, and you know, but let's just go one
Speaker 1: by one. You wanting your kids to see the whole
Speaker 1: family dynamic. You turn around and said the right thing
Speaker 1: that comes right after that. But I want them to
Speaker 1: see mom happy. If mom is not happy, if mom
Speaker 1: is miserable, if mom is staying with their father who
Speaker 1: is not only mentally abusive or emotionally abusive, but physically abusive.
Speaker 1: And obviously, your kids, the older they get, they see
Speaker 1: that they're boys, you know what I'm saying. So then
Speaker 1: that's not really a good example to set for them.
Speaker 1: Dad hits on mom, or dad verbally abuses mom, he's
Speaker 1: always mad at or he's angry at, or mom's always
Speaker 1: looking sad. I remember my mom always being sad and
Speaker 1: down and depressed, and you know, just shut down when
Speaker 1: my dad would come home. Like do you want You
Speaker 1: don't want that? You don't want those story times from
Speaker 1: your kids? You know you don't want you don't want that,
Speaker 1: right And while I know it's probably easier said than
Speaker 1: done for you to just up and leave, there are
Speaker 1: so many resources that you have these days where you
Speaker 1: can get help, you can't leave.
Speaker 3: And then is what is his background?
Speaker 5: Like?
Speaker 3: What is he like?
Speaker 4: Ex?
Speaker 3: Military?
Speaker 1: Like what will he always find you? Why haven't you
Speaker 1: gone to the police? Like that's number one? Where do
Speaker 1: y'all live?
Speaker 5: Like?
Speaker 3: Do they take what they take?
Speaker 5: This serious?
Speaker 3: This is domestic?
Speaker 1: Obviously, I honestly do feel for you, but I need
Speaker 1: for you to feel for yourself enough to get out
Speaker 1: of the situation. You get what I'm saying, like, and
Speaker 1: then of course you and your boys will meet therapy.
Speaker 1: How their father needs therapy right now, but he ain't
Speaker 1: gonna get it. But I want you to understand, you this,
Speaker 1: this situation grew to be as bad as it is
Speaker 1: because you allowed that for so long. You allowed this
Speaker 1: for a long time. And even when you call yourself
Speaker 1: putting your foot down, like, oh, I don't want to
Speaker 1: do this, this is not for me, you don't even
Speaker 1: sound confident telling me that's what you don't want. So
Speaker 1: I can only imagine how unseerious he takes you. You
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying, When you make those type of
Speaker 1: threats to leave, or or when you tell him this
Speaker 1: is not for me, you're not really being firm about it.
Speaker 1: It doesn't sound believable. You're not taking any action to
Speaker 1: really show him that you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3: And like I said, is he a street dude? Like
Speaker 3: what makes you so afreie? What has you so afraid?
Speaker 1: And then I also heard you say you don't have
Speaker 1: anybody else to turn to, So you don't have any family,
Speaker 1: no friends, nobody, a best friend, a cousin like uncles.
Speaker 1: You don't your dad, You don't have any body that
Speaker 1: can help.
Speaker 3: You or where you can turn. You need to get
Speaker 3: a restraining order. You'll need to do that. You need
Speaker 3: to call the police.
Speaker 5: Kiss.
Speaker 3: Yes, I'm just fixed my mess all day.
Speaker 1: But at the end of the day, honey, I can't
Speaker 1: come get you physically myself. I wish I fucking could,
Speaker 1: Like this is this is horrible. I really would love
Speaker 1: for you to keep me updated, definitely, Like where the
Speaker 1: hell did you meet this nigga? This is weird as hell?
Speaker 1: And when did you start seeing signs of this? Like,
Speaker 1: cause y'all got two kids together? If I'm not mistaken,
Speaker 1: that's what I thought you said, y'all got two kids.
Speaker 1: You don't have one child. Y'all just had a baby.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. It's gonna be very hard
Speaker 1: to get rid of him, but you're gonna have to
Speaker 1: go through the courts to handle this shit. But when
Speaker 1: did you know, Like when did the red flags come
Speaker 1: for this? You've taken this for a long time. You
Speaker 1: decided to have another baby with him after you've seen
Speaker 1: how he was or did he get like this after
Speaker 1: you were with child?
Speaker 3: With the second baby.
Speaker 1: I just need to know, and I need to know
Speaker 1: that you're okay as well, and that you're gonna take
Speaker 1: the necessary steps to make sure you're okay. Cause this
Speaker 1: shit ain't cool, Mama, I guarantee you it's not. I
Speaker 1: don't even like hearing this about women, but I do
Speaker 1: appreciate you letting me into your life enough to even
Speaker 1: allow me to advise you in any type of way
Speaker 1: because these days, you know, all days, but especially these days,
Speaker 1: women do need to stick together. I don't care what
Speaker 1: people say, women definitely got to stick together. So check
Speaker 1: in with me, mamm geez, y'all, we got another voice note, Hey.
Speaker 7: Jess, good morning, or at least it's morning here for me.
Speaker 5: I don't know what time it will be when you
Speaker 5: listen to this or if you listen to.
Speaker 7: This, but I wanted to first off, thank you for
Speaker 7: your dedication and fixing people's mess even when they must
Speaker 7: be feel good, honey.
Speaker 5: But thank you for all that you do.
Speaker 7: And I'm just gonna get right into it and drop
Speaker 7: my lilw mess off in your lap. Okay, So, my
Speaker 7: husband and I are having a hard time seeing eye
Speaker 7: to eye with wanting to expand our family and have another.
Speaker 7: So a little backstory. We've been together for ten years.
Speaker 5: We currently have a preschool aged child after our son.
Speaker 7: Initially, my husband said he wanted no more kids, like
Speaker 7: want and done, and he was pretty firm on that, like,
Speaker 7: you know, We've had a few conversations and he's like, nah,
Speaker 7: I want no more.
Speaker 5: I want no more x y Z okay.
Speaker 7: So I've always wanted two children at the least. My
Speaker 7: thinking has always been having one kid it's just selfish,
Speaker 7: you know, like if something happened to that kid's parents,
Speaker 7: no one else understands what that kid is going through
Speaker 7: but a sibling, you know what I mean, Like.
Speaker 5: You could have cousins, this person, this.
Speaker 7: That, and the third to be there for you, but
Speaker 7: no one really understands that pain of losing a parent
Speaker 7: other than your sibling. And furthermore, I just felt like,
Speaker 7: you know, having just one kid, I don't know, that's.
Speaker 5: Boring, Like damn giveing a friend apartment a friend like
Speaker 5: have you know.
Speaker 7: I mean, maybe I won't even like each other here.
Speaker 5: I don't know, but that has always been my thinking.
Speaker 7: So I've always been said, like, I want at least
Speaker 7: two children. Obviously, I can't pick the gender, but I've
Speaker 7: always wanted at least a boy and a girl.
Speaker 5: Okay, so let me get back to it.
Speaker 7: Because I'm just taking you through my little thinking and everything.
Speaker 5: Okay.
Speaker 7: So basically, like I say, he was pretty consistent with
Speaker 7: saying he doesn't want anymore, he's wan and done, and
Speaker 7: I basically tell him, and I know, before you check me,
Speaker 7: I know this is wrong the way I went about it.
Speaker 7: I know it's selfish. I know you don't do these
Speaker 7: type of things, but I did tell him, like, you know,
Speaker 7: I want another kid, and if you're stuck on not
Speaker 7: expanding our family, then maybe we should reevaluate our relationship
Speaker 7: because this is non negotiable for me. And I just
Speaker 7: want to also like add a little more context here,
Speaker 7: Like I know how selfish that sounds, but throughout my life,
Speaker 7: I've sacrificed so much for other people, like so much
Speaker 7: for other people's happiness, so much, given my last so
Speaker 7: that this person can have, you know, whatever it is
Speaker 7: they need. And I just felt like in this particular moment,
Speaker 7: or in this particular situation, rather, this was something that
Speaker 7: I just wasn't willing to, you know, be flexible with,
Speaker 7: like it means. So it meant so much to me
Speaker 7: to have at least two kids. Okay, so let me
Speaker 7: get back to it. So he handed up agreeing to
Speaker 7: one and a second child, and then a few years
Speaker 7: later I got pregnant again. But with that pregnancy, it
Speaker 7: just felt off, like it just always fell off, not right,
Speaker 7: just I don't know.
Speaker 5: It just didn't feel the same.
Speaker 7: And I know every pregnancy is not the same, but something,
Speaker 7: you know, your instincts, something just wasn't right with this one.
Speaker 5: But he was excited, and I.
Speaker 7: Actually feel like I was very excited my first pregnancy.
Speaker 7: I felt like he was whatever, like, ir we having
Speaker 7: a kid, cool, you know, but that's also his personality.
Speaker 7: But that the second time around, I felt like he.
Speaker 5: Was like excited and I wasn't. Like, wait, dude, the
Speaker 5: table's fucking turned. Yeah. Anyways, we ended up losing a baby.
Speaker 7: So this is where things take a little complete term.
Speaker 5: Honey.
Speaker 7: Okay, So I'm at a place now I no longer
Speaker 7: want another kid.
Speaker 5: I'm not interested. I'm just over it.
Speaker 7: Like our son is only getting older and I don't
Speaker 7: necessarily want to.
Speaker 3: Start over, you know.
Speaker 5: Like, don't get me wrong, I love babies. Oh my gosh.
Speaker 5: I love children.
Speaker 7: I love babies, I work with kids. I want to
Speaker 7: have my own day care.
Speaker 5: I love kids, but I just don't want anymore.
Speaker 7: I don't know if it's because like we're in our
Speaker 7: thirties and I just want to travel, I want to build,
Speaker 7: I want to start a business, and I just I
Speaker 7: don't know, or I also feel like I never got
Speaker 7: back into me after No, I'm not even gonna say
Speaker 7: after having my son, because even before my son, I
Speaker 7: felt like I never I kind of fell out of
Speaker 7: being me. I started gaining weight, you know, happy weight,
Speaker 7: but don't get.
Speaker 5: Too happy shit.
Speaker 7: But I started my happy weight and then I paired
Speaker 7: it with babyweight.
Speaker 5: I never got rid of that.
Speaker 7: So I feel like losing the second you know, the
Speaker 7: second pregnancy, not being successful. I just feel like now
Speaker 7: I just want to focus on me. I want to
Speaker 7: focus on us. I want to focus on the y'all
Speaker 7: we do have. I want to travel, I want to build,
Speaker 7: I want to start a business, and I just want
Speaker 7: to make money moves.
Speaker 5: You know. But each time.
Speaker 7: He brings up trying for another child, I just expressed
Speaker 7: to him that I don't want to and I'm not interested.
Speaker 7: And I know it's my body and ultimately my choice,
Speaker 7: but I don't want to approach that with him, like
Speaker 7: this is a marriage. You know, this is a marriage.
Speaker 7: I don't want to be like this is my body.
Speaker 5: I don't want to So anyways, what do I do?
Speaker 7: Like he listened to me, he hurt me out, changed
Speaker 7: his mind when I basically gave him my ultimatum.
Speaker 5: But now I'm not willing to change my mind. And
Speaker 5: it's not.
Speaker 7: Like I'm fearful that he's going to give me an ultimatum,
Speaker 7: Like all right, well look check it.
Speaker 5: If you don't want another kid, I'm out. That's not
Speaker 5: who he is, that's not how he rolled. He not
Speaker 5: liked that. That's me. I'm like that, but I'm changing
Speaker 5: my ways.
Speaker 7: But anyways, I don't know, Like I don't want to
Speaker 7: just have another kid just because he wants one, and
Speaker 7: then I end up presenting him.
Speaker 5: I'm not going to resent the baby. I can never
Speaker 5: resent a child. I could never. I love I already
Speaker 5: said this already, but I love children.
Speaker 7: But maybe I will end up presenting him like but
Speaker 7: you may no, I don't think so.
Speaker 5: Like no, I've said like that, you sound stupid, but
Speaker 5: I just don't want another kid. Like I know, I'm
Speaker 5: a great mom, and I.
Speaker 7: Think maybe like him, seeing sometimes when I interact with kids,
Speaker 7: even in public, like I think it's like something in
Speaker 7: him that's like, oh my gosh, like she's.
Speaker 5: Damn near born to be a mom.
Speaker 7: And then like I don't know if it's also paired
Speaker 7: with the fact that he was so excited for that
Speaker 7: second child and then it didn't happen.
Speaker 8: So yeah, now he's really really eager to fill that
Speaker 8: void because before we got pregnant with the second kid,
Speaker 8: it's not like he was excited to get pregnant, you.
Speaker 7: Know what I mean, Like it just happened and we's
Speaker 7: like cool, and I'm like, yes, I think this is
Speaker 7: my girl. But then, like I said, like stuff started
Speaker 7: happening and I'm like, this pregnicy just feeling strange.
Speaker 1: Hold up, hold up, I know this shit getting good.
Speaker 1: But listen to just a couple seconds of a commercial.
Speaker 1: If you love me, you'll listen.
Speaker 7: Anyways, I don't know, though, I just I don't want
Speaker 7: another kid, and like I feel like, hell, all I'm sorry,
Speaker 7: I'm getting tongue tiny shit, But he like kind of
Speaker 7: always brings it into a conversation, like you're like just easey,
Speaker 7: motherfucking talking and I'm like.
Speaker 5: Nigga, get somebody else to do it.
Speaker 7: No, But like I don't know, do I need to
Speaker 7: go to marriage counsel for this shit?
Speaker 5: But what the fuck a marriage counselor gonna tell me?
Speaker 5: I don't want the bagbee. No, let's talk about it.
Speaker 5: Let me just hear you out. I hope I gave
Speaker 5: you enough context backstory.
Speaker 7: I said, we've been together ten years, right, we marry
Speaker 7: already got to I don't know what else you.
Speaker 5: Need to know, but.
Speaker 7: I don't provide you whatever details you need to help
Speaker 7: me figure the funk out.
Speaker 5: What the fuck do? Anyways, thank you, and I advance.
Speaker 1: Wo that girl is entertaining, Okay, And look y'all, if
Speaker 1: you'll I apologize about the noise in the back. Look
Speaker 1: I'm cooking right now, all right. My family's home, well,
Speaker 1: my man and one of my kids. Anyway, let me
Speaker 1: get back to her story, because, like she said, tables turn, Yes,
Speaker 1: they do. She went from wanting the kids and he
Speaker 1: wasn't really sure about it, or you know, he wasn't
Speaker 1: doubting it, but he was like, uh to he really
Speaker 1: really really want wanted his second kid, and then second
Speaker 1: second time.
Speaker 3: She wasn't excited about it. That happens.
Speaker 1: That definitely happens, I know, like I know couples and
Speaker 1: have known couples that that it happened with.
Speaker 5: Oh my god.
Speaker 1: It's a couple of different ways. It's a couple of
Speaker 1: different ways you can go about it. This is a
Speaker 1: hard one. I'm not gonna lie this. This is not
Speaker 1: as easy as I thought, y'all.
Speaker 3: But shit, I.
Speaker 1: Honestly think one of y'all just gonna have to bite
Speaker 1: the bullet. One of y'all would have to bite the bullet.
Speaker 1: I mean, what are you willing to like? Is he
Speaker 1: willing to adopt?
Speaker 3: Is he like? Now?
Speaker 1: Why don't you want to do it? Is it that
Speaker 1: you don't want to put your body through it? Is
Speaker 1: it that you just don't have time for another child?
Speaker 1: You know, I know you said you want to get
Speaker 1: back to you, But is that because you don't want
Speaker 1: to cause any more detrimancy a body.
Speaker 3: Y'all been together for a long time.
Speaker 1: There's a lot of history and he's broken, you know,
Speaker 1: from losing you guys as second child. You know, that
Speaker 1: can take a lot out of a person. And I'm
Speaker 1: not saying that it didn't do any harm to you.
Speaker 1: I'm just saying, you know, we're discussing him because he
Speaker 1: still wants he wants, like you said that boyd Field, However.
Speaker 3: You're not there mentally. You just don't want another child.
Speaker 1: And I just want to know specifically what it is
Speaker 1: because it always depends.
Speaker 3: I mean it.
Speaker 1: You could give him another baby through surrogacy, you know,
Speaker 1: you could give him There are different.
Speaker 3: Ways that he could still get his baby, you know, So.
Speaker 1: It all depends on if you're willing to compromise, make that,
Speaker 1: make that sacrifice a marriage to compromise that, Like, are
Speaker 1: you willing to give your husband a baby another way?
Speaker 3: Damnit?
Speaker 1: That is a lot that I feel for both of
Speaker 1: you because to be married and to be on the
Speaker 1: on two different pages about something.
Speaker 3: So serious like that, that's big.
Speaker 1: I know it could take over your marriage easily because
Speaker 1: that has to be on y'all, on both of y'all
Speaker 1: minds every day. He's not letting up, You're not letting
Speaker 1: up like what I know it has. It has to
Speaker 1: cause tension and division, and you know, in the home
Speaker 1: in conversations, I know it could even cause tension in
Speaker 1: your sex life. You know, because you don't want another baby.
Speaker 1: You ain't trying to let him shoot the club up.
Speaker 1: It could cause a lot of problems, you know, and
Speaker 1: I totally do get it. But one of y'all have
Speaker 1: to bite the bullet and still try to make each
Speaker 1: other happy, the happiest that you guys could be together.
Speaker 3: Check back in with me. I need I need. I
Speaker 3: need to know.
Speaker 1: I mean, you said you left, you gave me all
Speaker 1: the meat on the bone and all that shit, But
Speaker 1: I still need to know.
Speaker 3: I need to know. Are you willing to do it
Speaker 3: another way? Should?
Speaker 1: Because that's how we move forward. Then I can give
Speaker 1: you some more advice. I could fix your mess further
Speaker 1: if you let me know what you're willing to do.
Speaker 1: I mean, why you really don't want the baby? What's
Speaker 1: up is it for your body? You can't handle another
Speaker 1: child right now? What exactly is it that's keeping you
Speaker 1: from giving him another baby?
Speaker 3: So just check back in with me.
Speaker 1: Oh and look, y'all, we just come to the end
Speaker 1: of yet another episode of Carefully Reckless with your Girl.
Speaker 3: Just hilarious.
Speaker 1: What I'll be doing, what I'll be doing, I'll be
Speaker 1: fixed the mess and I'm gonna be doing it from
Speaker 1: here on out, each and every Wednesday where you find
Speaker 1: your podcast at y'all and then my deepest Pam voice
Speaker 1: see you next week. Can't Fully Reckless is a production
Speaker 1: of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio,
Speaker 1: visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen
Speaker 1: to your favorite shows.