Speaker 1: I am a Yamla. I had a baby daddy relationship,
Speaker 1: I spend time in a relationship with a married man.
Speaker 1: I had to learn the skills and tools required to
Speaker 1: make my relationships healthy, fulfilling and loving. Welcome to the
Speaker 1: Our Spot, a production of Shondaland Audio in partnership with
Speaker 1: I Heart Radio. Beloved by Now, you know that if
Speaker 1: you come to me with an issue, I am going
Speaker 1: to tell you some things you probably don't want to hear.
Speaker 1: And for today's topic, I've got something to say to most,
Speaker 1: if not every woman out there, Grow some lady balls.
Speaker 1: It's a topic I love to discuss and one I
Speaker 1: want to educate women about. And as we get into
Speaker 1: our conversation today, you'll see what I mean. Growing ladyballs
Speaker 1: is all about choosing you and my first caller and
Speaker 1: I get to the heart of exactly what that means.
Speaker 1: Good afternoon, beloved, Welcome to the Our Spot where we
Speaker 1: talk about all things relationships. So how can I support you?
Speaker 1: What is your issue, problem, challenge, dilemma today? Wow, Good afternoon,
Speaker 1: Good afternoon. The reason that I am calling in today
Speaker 1: is because I'm going through a breakup right now. Okay,
Speaker 1: long distance relationship for two years. And so this relationship
Speaker 1: began right after a divorce and my partner was never married,
Speaker 1: no children. I have three children, and we were long distance,
Speaker 1: like I said, for two years, and then in the
Speaker 1: last two months, my partner moved closer to close the distance,
Speaker 1: and I thought, you know, this was going to bring
Speaker 1: us culser So I just got a call on last week.
Speaker 1: There wasn't really an argument that was out of the
Speaker 1: norm or anything. There was a disagreement, and then we
Speaker 1: went five days without talking. No one called, and that
Speaker 1: was very unusual because usually my partner will call and
Speaker 1: just leave voice messages and you know, send me emails
Speaker 1: and things like that in the event that there is
Speaker 1: a time that I shut down and don't communicate. This time,
Speaker 1: none of that happened, and I got a call, and
Speaker 1: you know, I was told during that time we weren't speaking.
Speaker 1: I went out, I had a couple of drinks and
Speaker 1: I kissed someone else, and I don't think we can
Speaker 1: fix this. M Since then, you've talked maybe once or twice,
Speaker 1: there's been a lot of confusing conversation. I'm being told
Speaker 1: I do want to repair, I'm not sure I know
Speaker 1: how to repair. And then I've been also being told
Speaker 1: I'm not sure that I want to repair or how
Speaker 1: do I know that you know this is right? I
Speaker 1: told everything was wonderful. I thought everything was great. So
Speaker 1: I'm just I don't have a lot of answers, and
Speaker 1: I'm I'm really torn. I feel broken. I felt numb
Speaker 1: about this, and I just feel like I've truly got
Speaker 1: my best friend. And when I saw that this opportunity
Speaker 1: came up to speak with you, I jumped on it
Speaker 1: because who's better is to speak with? No? I don't
Speaker 1: know if I'm the one. Are you sure you want
Speaker 1: to speak to me? Because I'm going right in for
Speaker 1: the juggular here. Tell me what is it that you
Speaker 1: really want to know? Let's get clear about that first?
Speaker 1: Should I wait? How do I move forward? Like? Is
Speaker 1: there a chance maybe that we were coon stile? We
Speaker 1: repair this? Heartbreak? Ever? Feel better? M is it? PA?
Speaker 1: Ain't gonna ever stop about hold hold love, Hold love,
Speaker 1: hold love. Hold up, my sister woman, you were in
Speaker 1: a long distance relationship for two years? How many times
Speaker 1: did you see each other in that two years? How
Speaker 1: often monthly? So you've seen him twenty four times for
Speaker 1: how long each visit? Sometimes it would be like a
Speaker 1: week sometimes maybe a few days. But this person seems
Speaker 1: very invested in me. I mean treated me like gold.
Speaker 1: I had no complaints. I didn't have to open a door.
Speaker 1: I didn't have to carry any bags anywhere. I didn't
Speaker 1: have to pay for any meals ever. Whatever I needed support,
Speaker 1: they were there anytime we traveled. I didn't have much
Speaker 1: responsibility at all. So this person seems to be very
Speaker 1: genuine and very giving. And what if he let me
Speaker 1: ask you this, were you raised in the church? Yes, okay,
Speaker 1: have you ever heard and I will send the comforter?
Speaker 1: Have you heard that scripture? What if he was just
Speaker 1: a comforter? What if he's not forever and ever? Amen?
Speaker 1: You said long distance relationship right after a divorce? Yes?
Speaker 1: What if he was your comforter? Beloved? I don't know
Speaker 1: why it is women we think everyone has to be
Speaker 1: the one. What if he was the one for them? Right?
Speaker 1: What if? Could you just be grateful you didn't have
Speaker 1: to open the door. Can you be grateful? He paid,
Speaker 1: he invested in you. Can you be grateful? Mh he
Speaker 1: took you out to dinner? Can you be grateful? Was
Speaker 1: the sex good? Absolutely? Could you be grateful. You know
Speaker 1: how many people got divorced eight years ago and they
Speaker 1: ain't had no nookie since then. They are dying from
Speaker 1: lack a nookie. Could you just be grateful to him,
Speaker 1: to your creator, to the universe, to life, and now
Speaker 1: you know what you're looking for in the next one.
Speaker 1: Why do we as women think that everyone is the one, right?
Speaker 1: Because if he was the one, he would know and
Speaker 1: he wouldn't be kissing somebody else. And if they kissed,
Speaker 1: I don't know if that's where it ended, right What
Speaker 1: if that season is just over? What do you need
Speaker 1: to do to have peace? How do you choose you now?
Speaker 1: As opposed to worrying about him? It was good, and
Speaker 1: I'm grateful, he was great, and I'm grateful, But I'm
Speaker 1: just not going to allow myself to be toned up
Speaker 1: by somebody who don't know surely clearly right now, that
Speaker 1: this is what they want. When he figures it out,
Speaker 1: maybe he'll come back, maybe maybe not, who knows, could be.
Speaker 1: But how do you choose you in the meantime? I
Speaker 1: gotta figure it out, No, you don't. You just have
Speaker 1: to make a choice. I did that one time I
Speaker 1: had that situation. I mean this brother who was off
Speaker 1: the chain, gorgeous, sweet calm, spiritually grounded, focus, dedicated, and
Speaker 1: he had made a commitment in his mind to himself
Speaker 1: that until he finished his doctorate we were in graduate
Speaker 1: school together, that he wasn't gonna be in in a relationship.
Speaker 1: And so then I showed up, you know, and we
Speaker 1: had a great time together. We had it, studied together
Speaker 1: and went together. It was just wonderful. And he was tormented. Tormented,
Speaker 1: you know, this is not what I want. I don't
Speaker 1: know if this is what God wants for me. This
Speaker 1: I made a commitment. I can't do a relationship in
Speaker 1: school and boot the bie to boop up up. And
Speaker 1: normally my process would have been to try to convince
Speaker 1: him of how wonderful and marvelous I was. But I
Speaker 1: grew some late. I had grown some lady balls. You
Speaker 1: know what lady balls are. I'll tell you how I
Speaker 1: grew lady balls. After the break, welcome back. My caller
Speaker 1: is learning how to stand up for herself, and right
Speaker 1: before the break, I was going to share with her
Speaker 1: how I did it. I had grown some lady balls,
Speaker 1: and I said, you know what, if he don't want
Speaker 1: to be with me, something must be wrong with him,
Speaker 1: and I'm gonna let him go. So you know what
Speaker 1: I told him one day when he was cavetching and
Speaker 1: moaning and groaning about I don't know if this is
Speaker 1: what I want to do and what we've don't done everything.
Speaker 1: We don't eight together, slept together, shared money together. We
Speaker 1: don't done and you still don't know. Okay, I'll tell
Speaker 1: you what. And I looked him in his face. I said,
Speaker 1: you're not really enjoyed being with you. This has been wonderful,
Speaker 1: this has been marvelous. But you know what, you figure
Speaker 1: out what you want to do, and when you figure
Speaker 1: that out, let me know. In the meantime, I'm out
Speaker 1: because I had to choose me. Mhm. And you know
Speaker 1: what I found out about three weeks after I did that.
Speaker 1: You want to know, don't you? That he was living
Speaker 1: with another woman. Yeah, that's what I said. Wow, so
Speaker 1: I just dodged that bullet. Yes, what if you're dodging
Speaker 1: a bullet? Right? You got the dust off your lady balls.
Speaker 1: Your lady balls are dusty. Don't think that because you
Speaker 1: had a divorce. Oh God, here we go again. I'm
Speaker 1: losing another one. I'm losing another relationship. Forget that he
Speaker 1: doesn't know if he wants to be with you. You
Speaker 1: can't convince him. Let him go. If it's yours, it'll
Speaker 1: come back, all right. Now, tell me what you hear
Speaker 1: me saying. You don't have to repeat my words, but
Speaker 1: I want to know what your inner conversation is about
Speaker 1: what you just heard. What I just heard was that
Speaker 1: some things are just out of my control. And as
Speaker 1: opposed to just hanging around and just waiting around, I
Speaker 1: have to pick up the pieces of me and move
Speaker 1: forward and what's meant for me is for me and
Speaker 1: it will come to me. Well, I just want to
Speaker 1: clean that up a little bit. What pieces? What? Why
Speaker 1: are you in pieces? You're pretty old to me, you
Speaker 1: had two years of good sex, good fun, nice man.
Speaker 1: Why are you in pieces? It's just heartbroke and it's
Speaker 1: just as sudden. I didn't expect it. It's just the
Speaker 1: opposite of what what's been going on is. What if
Speaker 1: you're dodging a bullet? What if you're dodging a bullet?
Speaker 1: Caught you off? God, control freak, You didn't know? Okay, fine,
Speaker 1: what if you're dodging a bullet? How come you're not
Speaker 1: saying thank you God, Yeah, thank you for sending this comforter.
Speaker 1: It was funny, was great? Is there another one coming
Speaker 1: anytime soon? So I want you to repeat this with me,
Speaker 1: and I want you to make this your mantra. You
Speaker 1: know what a mantra is. A mantra is a word
Speaker 1: or saying that you repeat over and over and over
Speaker 1: to shift in your consciousness. Okay, okay, if he's mine,
Speaker 1: repeat that. If he's man, he'll be here, He'll be
Speaker 1: here if he's not, if he's not, bye bye. And
Speaker 1: then you dust off your lady balls and you practice trust,
Speaker 1: and you practice faith, and you choose you. I hear
Speaker 1: you saying your heartbroken. I hear you're saying you're miss
Speaker 1: him and and all of this. So what do you
Speaker 1: need to do to choose you and bring peace to
Speaker 1: you right now? What do you need to do? You
Speaker 1: need to buy some chocolate? Do you need to go shopping?
Speaker 1: Do you need to take some life spats? I got
Speaker 1: some nice bath stuff you can take if you what
Speaker 1: what do you need to do to choose you right now?
Speaker 1: As opposed to giving him your time, your energy, your parts,
Speaker 1: and your pieces. They do that to us all the time. No,
Speaker 1: you don't want me. You don't know if you want me.
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna let myself want you. By dust off,
Speaker 1: you lay the balls, or grow him or put some
Speaker 1: hair on him, or whatever you need to do, just
Speaker 1: juice you. And it's hard. I'm not being heartless. I
Speaker 1: know it's hard. But you were a long distance. You
Speaker 1: didn't see him every day. You saw him months a month.
Speaker 1: So you know what, You can still talk to him,
Speaker 1: right it in your journal. You can still talk to him.
Speaker 1: Have the conversation out loud. Put a chair in front
Speaker 1: of you, make believe he's sitting in the chair, and
Speaker 1: talk to that chair. You can still talk to him.
Speaker 1: But when he calls, don't answer until he says you're
Speaker 1: the one I want and I'm coming home. You don't
Speaker 1: say that by right. See, I'm a little older, so
Speaker 1: it's easy for me to be hard. I don't have time.
Speaker 1: I'm closer to the grade than I am to the nursery.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much, thank you. And here's the thing.
Speaker 1: You know, you're not in this by yourself. Hundreds of
Speaker 1: thousands of us are in it with you. So we
Speaker 1: want you to be successful one way or the other.
Speaker 1: Either he makes up his mind and chooses you, or
Speaker 1: he makes up his mind and doesn't and you be okay,
Speaker 1: choose you all right, Now, what you're gonna do. You're
Speaker 1: gonna call me in six weeks and let me know
Speaker 1: what happened. Absolutely, okay, go buy some chocolate. Thank you. Okay,
Speaker 1: my love, Bye bye. Long distance relationships. I ain't messing
Speaker 1: with that. She needs some lady balls. I wish I
Speaker 1: could teach women about lady balls. Lady balls is that
Speaker 1: cut off switch. It's that placing us that it's just
Speaker 1: not going to accommodate, tolerate, entertain any foolishment. Lady balls
Speaker 1: are that part of us that makes our spine eat
Speaker 1: and our chest broad and our feet firm. When we
Speaker 1: say I'm choosing me, I get that you're confused. I
Speaker 1: guess that that you're loss I guess that you're working
Speaker 1: through your stuff. But if you want to be with me,
Speaker 1: I'm choosing me. This is what you gotta do. I
Speaker 1: have a hard on for me. Okay, Now I can
Speaker 1: share it with you, but I can't make it okay
Speaker 1: for you. You've got to know. You've got to know,
Speaker 1: because so very often as women, we think we know
Speaker 1: he's the one, and he can take years to try
Speaker 1: to figure out if I'm the one. Like I said,
Speaker 1: I'm closer to the grade than I am to the nursery.
Speaker 1: My lady balls are long, and Harry, I'm clear. We
Speaker 1: can't waste no time, and you got two years, You've
Speaker 1: got time in, you've got investment in, and I know
Speaker 1: we don't want to let that go. I know we
Speaker 1: don't want to let that go. But you've got to
Speaker 1: strengthen your lady balls. You gotta get that estrogen, progesterone
Speaker 1: or whatever flowing through them so that you don't waste
Speaker 1: time choosing someone else's confusion over your clarity. Because here's
Speaker 1: the truth. If it's for you, it's for you. And yes,
Speaker 1: the other person may be entitled to moments of a
Speaker 1: fear or or unclarity or unsurety, but I'm not gonna
Speaker 1: mess around with that too long because if you're not
Speaker 1: sure now, I don't want to be three or four
Speaker 1: or five years into this and you could become unclear again.
Speaker 1: Get clear, and it will work through everything else to
Speaker 1: honor our commitment to be. But I'm not gonna try
Speaker 1: to convince you. I know I got a herd on
Speaker 1: for me, all right. That's what lady balls means. Have
Speaker 1: a heart on for you, choose you, take care of you,
Speaker 1: and give up this thought that everyone has to be
Speaker 1: oh one. He may be the one for now, but
Speaker 1: if he's not lining up, or him or her, whoever
Speaker 1: you're with, I don't have any preference. I'm saying in
Speaker 1: terms of partnership, relationship, intimate love ship. If they can
Speaker 1: line up and if they're wondering, you wander away. If
Speaker 1: I could teach ladies about their lady balls, chocolate helps
Speaker 1: grow chocolate, chocolate cake, chocolate milkshake, and bubble backs. That's
Speaker 1: how you grow your lady balls. My next collar is
Speaker 1: a woman who feels she has too much masculine energy.
Speaker 1: She's really going to enjoy what I have to say
Speaker 1: about that. Hello, Hello, good afternoon, beloved, Welcome to the
Speaker 1: ourt spot and how can I support you this afternoon?
Speaker 1: So I need support in I'm getting out of a
Speaker 1: marriage basically something on my marriage about a little over
Speaker 1: a year now. And I was the one that made
Speaker 1: that decision because I needed a lot of healing. I
Speaker 1: was like broken in so many places. So I made
Speaker 1: the conscious decision to get her in my marriage because
Speaker 1: of that and the issues that I'm having is I
Speaker 1: have a lot of masculine energy because I was raised
Speaker 1: by my dad and by my male cousin, and I
Speaker 1: was around like my uncle's and just a lot of men,
Speaker 1: and even the women that I was around, they were
Speaker 1: like really bold and courageous and you know, didn't play.
Speaker 1: So I want to learn how to tone that down
Speaker 1: and fed more feminine so I can attract the ideal man.
Speaker 1: I love when people call me with their own self diagnosis.
Speaker 1: It's so exciting. Okay, let me ask you a question.
Speaker 1: What do you mean when you say masculine energy? What
Speaker 1: does that mean? It means um. I will just be honest.
Speaker 1: I was very controlling because I didn't want to be controlled.
Speaker 1: So if my ex husband said anything to me like
Speaker 1: I was on him. I didn't play the radio, you know,
Speaker 1: and I feel like I maybe embarrassed him. Now he
Speaker 1: did like come back at me, so he didn't let
Speaker 1: me allow me to control him. But at the same time,
Speaker 1: me doing that, I was always in a cat mold,
Speaker 1: and I don't I didn't like that part of myself,
Speaker 1: but I didn't really see that while I was in
Speaker 1: my marriage. But once I got out of my American
Speaker 1: Now that I'm single, I'm like, oh my god, I
Speaker 1: had some serious issues. So you consider control as a
Speaker 1: masculine thing. Yes, I do. Yes. And what's the distinction
Speaker 1: that you make between control and fear? Um? I haven't
Speaker 1: really thought about it like that. Very often people try
Speaker 1: to control their environment, control how they are treated, control
Speaker 1: what's going on when they're afraid, and they're afraid because
Speaker 1: they don't feel safe. Yes, that is exactly right, because,
Speaker 1: like I said, because I was raised by my dad.
Speaker 1: My dad was like the mean person, right, like you
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying, like the streets, always fussing, always
Speaker 1: on my sister in a case, whereas with my cousin.
Speaker 1: My cousin was more of the loving mail. I mean,
Speaker 1: he always made us feel love and faith. We spent
Speaker 1: a lot of time it my cousin and a lot
Speaker 1: of time with my dad. So with that being said,
Speaker 1: like I said, being around my dad and being around
Speaker 1: and just being so verbally abusive, I was like, Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm not going to allow a man to treat me
Speaker 1: this way, you know. And of course this was all unconscious.
Speaker 1: I didn't mean to be so hard, but because I
Speaker 1: grew up that way. It was just like I was
Speaker 1: just always in attack mode, always like I gotta have
Speaker 1: the last word. And again, when I was younger, I
Speaker 1: didn't see this as a problem. I was like, well,
Speaker 1: this is just who I am. But once I started
Speaker 1: to kill and do the work, as you always say,
Speaker 1: I'm able to look at myself and look at that
Speaker 1: past self, and I'm like, you know what, I don't
Speaker 1: like the way I did things. I don't like the
Speaker 1: way I treated people. Not that I'm a mean person
Speaker 1: or a bad person, but I know I had some habits.
Speaker 1: It's a bad way, and I don't want to go
Speaker 1: into my future self with those weight. So I heard
Speaker 1: you say this, not going to allow a man to
Speaker 1: treat me that way? Which way is that? That way was,
Speaker 1: like I said, my dad was very controlling, very manipulium.
Speaker 1: And I hope I don't start crying. Um, wait a minute,
Speaker 1: I want you to stop right there. Because when the
Speaker 1: masculine energy feels aggressive, or when the masculine energy feels vulnerable,
Speaker 1: it'll do one or two things. It will retreat or
Speaker 1: it will attack. When the feminine energy feels vulnerable, it
Speaker 1: will surrender, and it will weep. You said, I want
Speaker 1: to learn more about my feminine energy. But then you said,
Speaker 1: I hope I don't cry? Why not? Right? Feminine is water. Yes, yes,
Speaker 1: I'm so glad you told me that, and I am
Speaker 1: very emotional missing all. I have cried more in the
Speaker 1: last two years that I've cried in my life. Well,
Speaker 1: you said you want to set in, you want to
Speaker 1: get into your feminine energy, exactly, exactly, So that's what
Speaker 1: I've been doing. Right. So we'll get into how to
Speaker 1: separate your energies when we come back. Welcome back to
Speaker 1: the Oar Spot. In an episode about growing Lady Balls,
Speaker 1: we definitely need to cover the difference between masculine and
Speaker 1: feminine energy. Mail is fire and air, woman is water
Speaker 1: and earth. Masculine energy is head, thought, thinking, intellect. Feminine
Speaker 1: energy is heart, emotion, feeling. And what I hear you
Speaker 1: saying to me, you want to get out of your
Speaker 1: head and you're thinking and into your heart and feeling
Speaker 1: so that you could be less aggressive and more passive,
Speaker 1: but you're afraid to do that. Yeah. I could be wrong,
Speaker 1: You're absolutely right, and I'm based on what you just said,
Speaker 1: I know I'm all over the place. No you're not.
Speaker 1: You're not all over the place. You in your head
Speaker 1: protecting yourself from the controlling, manipulative, abusive energy that you
Speaker 1: experienced from your father, the man that has nothing to
Speaker 1: do with masculine energy. He was a man who expressed
Speaker 1: his math scualinity through control, manipulation, and abut but true
Speaker 1: masculine energy is thought and intellect and creation. True feminine energy,
Speaker 1: it's heart and feeling and vulnerability and the word we
Speaker 1: all hate passive or submissive mm hm. And you said,
Speaker 1: I'm not going to allow a man to treat me
Speaker 1: that way. I'm not going to allow man to be
Speaker 1: abusive to me. I'm not gonna allow man to be manipulative.
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna allow man to control me. I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna allow a man to do that because it's not safe.
Speaker 1: Listen to me, Okay, can you hear me? Yes? Man, okay.
Speaker 1: And I want you to answer this question with the
Speaker 1: first thing that comes to your mind. Doesn't have to
Speaker 1: make sense. M h m hm. Who broke your heart?
Speaker 1: Did your dad break your heart by the way he
Speaker 1: was or did your mom break your heart by not
Speaker 1: being there to protect you from your dad? Oh? Which
Speaker 1: one happened first couldn't happen first because if your mom
Speaker 1: had been there, Dad would have never been all over
Speaker 1: you consider the possibility that your mom broke your heart.
Speaker 1: Mm hmm yeah, and your heart is still broken, which
Speaker 1: means it's tender and it's guarded. So if you really,
Speaker 1: really really want to move into the feminine energy, you've
Speaker 1: got to take the chain, the wall, the bricks, the
Speaker 1: daggers off your heart and know that you are safe. Two.
Speaker 1: Feel not just talking about crying. I'm talking about feeling.
Speaker 1: You gotta get safe, and the way to get safe
Speaker 1: is to heal that broken heart. It doesn't matter why
Speaker 1: she left. The fact is the heart wasn't there to
Speaker 1: balance the energy of the head, or the feminine wasn't
Speaker 1: there to balance the energy of the masculine, because the
Speaker 1: feminine is the heart. So you you don't have an
Speaker 1: issue with with masculine energy. You have a heart condition.
Speaker 1: H Wow. Also glad that you let me know, because
Speaker 1: I'm like just all, oh, you're not You're in your head,
Speaker 1: you're not all open place, and you're trying so hard
Speaker 1: what not to be. I'm not gonna let a man
Speaker 1: treat me this way. So I have to be this
Speaker 1: and this and this and this and this. You're trying
Speaker 1: so hard not to be something until you aren't being
Speaker 1: what you want to be, which is feminine, soft, open hearted,
Speaker 1: present in your feelings. Oh that's what to be. So
Speaker 1: you got to heal up that broken heart. Stopped looking
Speaker 1: at your dad. He was just a man. He wasn't
Speaker 1: necessarily masculine energy, although that's how masculine energy when it's imbalanced.
Speaker 1: It sounds like he had you and your sister. Your
Speaker 1: mom was gone. We don't know what that felt like
Speaker 1: for him. Maybe his heart was closed, Maybe he was angry,
Speaker 1: Maybe he was hurt, Maybe he was disappointed. Maybe he
Speaker 1: didn't know how to give you his heart. Maybe he
Speaker 1: gave your heart his heart to your mom and she
Speaker 1: left with it, or she broke his heart and he
Speaker 1: just passed it on. Who knows. We can make it
Speaker 1: up anyway we wanted to be. But what I hear
Speaker 1: you saying is you want to be more in your heart.
Speaker 1: So m so much is coming to mind now, I'm
Speaker 1: all over the place. Or give nets. Oh yes, I
Speaker 1: have been working with that, Mr Young. But who are
Speaker 1: you forgiving? What are you forgiving? Help? Forgiving? Like I
Speaker 1: said my dad or anybody else that I feel there
Speaker 1: has hurt me, including my ex husband, and I'm forgiving
Speaker 1: myself asking others to forgive me. And I didn't realize, though,
Speaker 1: that forgiveness was such a hard, complicated process. M. I
Speaker 1: always thought it was simple, as I say the prayer,
Speaker 1: I forgive them, I wish them the best, I wish
Speaker 1: them well, Okay, I'm good. And now that I'm on
Speaker 1: this healing journey, I'm like, oh, it's be m hmmm.
Speaker 1: It's so much deeper today. And I didn't realize that
Speaker 1: before I asked some more work to do. Well. I
Speaker 1: want to encourage you to go back and do your
Speaker 1: forgiveness on your mom. Forget her story, forget what they
Speaker 1: told you, forget what you think, forget what you made up.
Speaker 1: Go back and do some forgiveness work on your mom,
Speaker 1: and then do some forgiveness work with God. Mm hmm, Okay,
Speaker 1: for giving God for whatever you think God is responsible for.
Speaker 1: If he's responsible for your mom, if leaven, if he's
Speaker 1: responsible for your dad being abusive, controlling, manipulative, if he's
Speaker 1: responsible for every little thing that happened to you when
Speaker 1: you were six twelve thirteen fifteen sixteen. Whatever. Forgive your mom,
Speaker 1: forgive God, then go to your dad, and then go
Speaker 1: to yourself. And the deepest way to do it is
Speaker 1: really to forgive the thought, forgive the feeling, forgive the belief,
Speaker 1: forgive the judgment. But the forgiveness work. If you want
Speaker 1: to take another look at my book on forgiveness, because
Speaker 1: that is the work. It's a forty day process. So
Speaker 1: think of it this way, beloved again. Masculine energy is
Speaker 1: head thought, intellect, it's creation. Feminine energy is heart feeling.
Speaker 1: It's a surrender and energy of surrender and energy of passivity,
Speaker 1: not weakness, but passivity, receptivity, receptivity, let me say, receptivity,
Speaker 1: whereas masculine energy is a more aggressive energy. So you
Speaker 1: want to move out of the aggression into the receptivity, okay,
Speaker 1: And you want to know that it's safe to feel
Speaker 1: and forgiveness, and then when you finish with forgiveness, you
Speaker 1: can work on trust. Yea thank you for your call,
Speaker 1: but loved, give me a call in about six weeks
Speaker 1: and let me know where you are, Okay, I surely
Speaker 1: will thank you so much, Okay, my love, bye bye,
Speaker 1: all right by So many of us think that the
Speaker 1: one right now has to be the one forever. In fact,
Speaker 1: as women, we sometimes try to fit the square man
Speaker 1: peg into the round hole in our heart, even when
Speaker 1: we know it's not a good match. A good match
Speaker 1: has nothing to do with masculine or feminine energy. It's
Speaker 1: not about how much you invest in a relationship or
Speaker 1: how much time you spend together. It doesn't even have
Speaker 1: anything to do with how much you love each other.
Speaker 1: A good match, a solid relationship has to grow from
Speaker 1: the mutual respect between the people involved, which means that
Speaker 1: sometimes you must stand up for yourself. You must grow
Speaker 1: some lady balls and choose you, especially when you are
Speaker 1: not feeling respected beloved. Choose you, vote for you, make
Speaker 1: that change, and then go and get yourself some chocolate
Speaker 1: and have a bubble back. Amana and I thank you
Speaker 1: for tuning in. If you have questions or insights about
Speaker 1: this or any other relationship topic and you would like
Speaker 1: us to explore it here on the art spot, you
Speaker 1: can call me live at seven seven five three zero
Speaker 1: seven seven seven six eight. Now be sure to follow
Speaker 1: me on social media for all of the calling times.
Speaker 1: In the meantime, stay in peace and not pieces the
Speaker 1: r Spot is a production of Shondaland Audio in partnership
Speaker 1: with I heart rate Radio. For more podcasts from Shondaland Audio,
Speaker 1: visit the I heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever
Speaker 1: you listen to your favorite shows.