1 00:00:02,400 --> 00:00:05,600 Speaker 1: I am a Yamla. I had a baby daddy relationship, 2 00:00:06,080 --> 00:00:08,559 Speaker 1: I spend time in a relationship with a married man. 3 00:00:09,119 --> 00:00:13,000 Speaker 1: I had to learn the skills and tools required to 4 00:00:13,160 --> 00:00:17,759 Speaker 1: make my relationships healthy, fulfilling and loving. Welcome to the 5 00:00:17,800 --> 00:00:22,120 Speaker 1: Our Spot, a production of Shondaland Audio in partnership with 6 00:00:22,239 --> 00:00:37,640 Speaker 1: I Heart Radio. Beloved by Now, you know that if 7 00:00:37,720 --> 00:00:40,560 Speaker 1: you come to me with an issue, I am going 8 00:00:40,720 --> 00:00:44,280 Speaker 1: to tell you some things you probably don't want to hear. 9 00:00:44,800 --> 00:00:48,920 Speaker 1: And for today's topic, I've got something to say to most, 10 00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:53,120 Speaker 1: if not every woman out there, Grow some lady balls. 11 00:00:54,280 --> 00:00:57,400 Speaker 1: It's a topic I love to discuss and one I 12 00:00:57,440 --> 00:01:01,840 Speaker 1: want to educate women about. And as we get into 13 00:01:01,880 --> 00:01:06,319 Speaker 1: our conversation today, you'll see what I mean. Growing ladyballs 14 00:01:06,440 --> 00:01:10,399 Speaker 1: is all about choosing you and my first caller and 15 00:01:10,480 --> 00:01:13,839 Speaker 1: I get to the heart of exactly what that means. 16 00:01:17,600 --> 00:01:20,280 Speaker 1: Good afternoon, beloved, Welcome to the Our Spot where we 17 00:01:20,360 --> 00:01:24,080 Speaker 1: talk about all things relationships. So how can I support you? 18 00:01:24,160 --> 00:01:33,840 Speaker 1: What is your issue, problem, challenge, dilemma today? Wow, Good afternoon, 19 00:01:34,200 --> 00:01:38,960 Speaker 1: Good afternoon. The reason that I am calling in today 20 00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:45,240 Speaker 1: is because I'm going through a breakup right now. Okay, 21 00:01:46,760 --> 00:01:54,000 Speaker 1: long distance relationship for two years. And so this relationship 22 00:01:54,040 --> 00:02:02,080 Speaker 1: began right after a divorce and my partner was never married, 23 00:02:02,280 --> 00:02:09,079 Speaker 1: no children. I have three children, and we were long distance, 24 00:02:09,160 --> 00:02:11,760 Speaker 1: like I said, for two years, and then in the 25 00:02:11,880 --> 00:02:16,880 Speaker 1: last two months, my partner moved closer to close the distance, 26 00:02:18,200 --> 00:02:20,320 Speaker 1: and I thought, you know, this was going to bring 27 00:02:20,880 --> 00:02:26,880 Speaker 1: us culser So I just got a call on last week. 28 00:02:28,360 --> 00:02:30,799 Speaker 1: There wasn't really an argument that was out of the 29 00:02:31,120 --> 00:02:35,919 Speaker 1: norm or anything. There was a disagreement, and then we 30 00:02:35,960 --> 00:02:40,960 Speaker 1: went five days without talking. No one called, and that 31 00:02:41,120 --> 00:02:45,520 Speaker 1: was very unusual because usually my partner will call and 32 00:02:45,560 --> 00:02:48,560 Speaker 1: just leave voice messages and you know, send me emails 33 00:02:48,560 --> 00:02:50,640 Speaker 1: and things like that in the event that there is 34 00:02:50,680 --> 00:02:55,560 Speaker 1: a time that I shut down and don't communicate. This time, 35 00:02:55,600 --> 00:02:58,600 Speaker 1: none of that happened, and I got a call, and 36 00:02:58,760 --> 00:03:01,720 Speaker 1: you know, I was told during that time we weren't speaking. 37 00:03:02,919 --> 00:03:05,040 Speaker 1: I went out, I had a couple of drinks and 38 00:03:06,800 --> 00:03:11,320 Speaker 1: I kissed someone else, and I don't think we can 39 00:03:11,320 --> 00:03:16,360 Speaker 1: fix this. M Since then, you've talked maybe once or twice, 40 00:03:17,360 --> 00:03:22,760 Speaker 1: there's been a lot of confusing conversation. I'm being told 41 00:03:22,760 --> 00:03:24,480 Speaker 1: I do want to repair, I'm not sure I know 42 00:03:24,560 --> 00:03:26,880 Speaker 1: how to repair. And then I've been also being told 43 00:03:27,400 --> 00:03:29,079 Speaker 1: I'm not sure that I want to repair or how 44 00:03:29,080 --> 00:03:31,640 Speaker 1: do I know that you know this is right? I 45 00:03:31,720 --> 00:03:35,000 Speaker 1: told everything was wonderful. I thought everything was great. So 46 00:03:35,280 --> 00:03:37,800 Speaker 1: I'm just I don't have a lot of answers, and 47 00:03:37,840 --> 00:03:42,240 Speaker 1: I'm I'm really torn. I feel broken. I felt numb 48 00:03:42,280 --> 00:03:45,280 Speaker 1: about this, and I just feel like I've truly got 49 00:03:45,320 --> 00:03:51,120 Speaker 1: my best friend. And when I saw that this opportunity 50 00:03:51,160 --> 00:03:53,240 Speaker 1: came up to speak with you, I jumped on it 51 00:03:53,280 --> 00:03:55,839 Speaker 1: because who's better is to speak with? No? I don't 52 00:03:55,840 --> 00:04:01,040 Speaker 1: know if I'm the one. Are you sure you want 53 00:04:01,080 --> 00:04:04,520 Speaker 1: to speak to me? Because I'm going right in for 54 00:04:04,640 --> 00:04:10,200 Speaker 1: the juggular here. Tell me what is it that you 55 00:04:10,240 --> 00:04:12,760 Speaker 1: really want to know? Let's get clear about that first? 56 00:04:14,280 --> 00:04:18,400 Speaker 1: Should I wait? How do I move forward? Like? Is 57 00:04:18,400 --> 00:04:21,520 Speaker 1: there a chance maybe that we were coon stile? We 58 00:04:21,680 --> 00:04:27,120 Speaker 1: repair this? Heartbreak? Ever? Feel better? M is it? PA? 59 00:04:27,160 --> 00:04:32,480 Speaker 1: Ain't gonna ever stop about hold hold love, Hold love, 60 00:04:32,560 --> 00:04:36,599 Speaker 1: hold love. Hold up, my sister woman, you were in 61 00:04:36,680 --> 00:04:40,080 Speaker 1: a long distance relationship for two years? How many times 62 00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:41,880 Speaker 1: did you see each other in that two years? How 63 00:04:41,920 --> 00:04:45,960 Speaker 1: often monthly? So you've seen him twenty four times for 64 00:04:46,040 --> 00:04:49,240 Speaker 1: how long each visit? Sometimes it would be like a 65 00:04:49,240 --> 00:04:53,520 Speaker 1: week sometimes maybe a few days. But this person seems 66 00:04:53,600 --> 00:04:57,240 Speaker 1: very invested in me. I mean treated me like gold. 67 00:04:58,480 --> 00:05:01,040 Speaker 1: I had no complaints. I didn't have to open a door. 68 00:05:01,240 --> 00:05:04,080 Speaker 1: I didn't have to carry any bags anywhere. I didn't 69 00:05:04,080 --> 00:05:08,000 Speaker 1: have to pay for any meals ever. Whatever I needed support, 70 00:05:08,240 --> 00:05:14,400 Speaker 1: they were there anytime we traveled. I didn't have much 71 00:05:14,440 --> 00:05:17,080 Speaker 1: responsibility at all. So this person seems to be very 72 00:05:17,160 --> 00:05:23,360 Speaker 1: genuine and very giving. And what if he let me 73 00:05:23,400 --> 00:05:27,360 Speaker 1: ask you this, were you raised in the church? Yes, okay, 74 00:05:27,600 --> 00:05:29,920 Speaker 1: have you ever heard and I will send the comforter? 75 00:05:30,800 --> 00:05:33,719 Speaker 1: Have you heard that scripture? What if he was just 76 00:05:33,760 --> 00:05:37,440 Speaker 1: a comforter? What if he's not forever and ever? Amen? 77 00:05:38,480 --> 00:05:44,320 Speaker 1: You said long distance relationship right after a divorce? Yes? 78 00:05:45,400 --> 00:05:48,880 Speaker 1: What if he was your comforter? Beloved? I don't know 79 00:05:48,960 --> 00:05:52,000 Speaker 1: why it is women we think everyone has to be 80 00:05:52,080 --> 00:05:56,520 Speaker 1: the one. What if he was the one for them? Right? 81 00:05:57,080 --> 00:06:01,080 Speaker 1: What if? Could you just be grateful you didn't have 82 00:06:01,120 --> 00:06:04,320 Speaker 1: to open the door. Can you be grateful? He paid, 83 00:06:04,360 --> 00:06:08,520 Speaker 1: he invested in you. Can you be grateful? Mh he 84 00:06:08,600 --> 00:06:11,560 Speaker 1: took you out to dinner? Can you be grateful? Was 85 00:06:11,600 --> 00:06:17,960 Speaker 1: the sex good? Absolutely? Could you be grateful. You know 86 00:06:17,960 --> 00:06:20,080 Speaker 1: how many people got divorced eight years ago and they 87 00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:22,640 Speaker 1: ain't had no nookie since then. They are dying from 88 00:06:22,720 --> 00:06:30,400 Speaker 1: lack a nookie. Could you just be grateful to him, 89 00:06:30,400 --> 00:06:33,920 Speaker 1: to your creator, to the universe, to life, and now 90 00:06:34,040 --> 00:06:37,520 Speaker 1: you know what you're looking for in the next one. 91 00:06:37,920 --> 00:06:42,720 Speaker 1: Why do we as women think that everyone is the one, right? 92 00:06:43,360 --> 00:06:46,719 Speaker 1: Because if he was the one, he would know and 93 00:06:46,760 --> 00:06:49,640 Speaker 1: he wouldn't be kissing somebody else. And if they kissed, 94 00:06:49,800 --> 00:06:53,640 Speaker 1: I don't know if that's where it ended, right What 95 00:06:53,760 --> 00:06:57,800 Speaker 1: if that season is just over? What do you need 96 00:06:57,880 --> 00:07:02,680 Speaker 1: to do to have peace? How do you choose you now? 97 00:07:03,160 --> 00:07:06,640 Speaker 1: As opposed to worrying about him? It was good, and 98 00:07:06,680 --> 00:07:10,920 Speaker 1: I'm grateful, he was great, and I'm grateful, But I'm 99 00:07:10,960 --> 00:07:14,320 Speaker 1: just not going to allow myself to be toned up 100 00:07:14,360 --> 00:07:18,480 Speaker 1: by somebody who don't know surely clearly right now, that 101 00:07:18,520 --> 00:07:21,160 Speaker 1: this is what they want. When he figures it out, 102 00:07:21,440 --> 00:07:24,120 Speaker 1: maybe he'll come back, maybe maybe not, who knows, could be. 103 00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:30,000 Speaker 1: But how do you choose you in the meantime? I 104 00:07:30,080 --> 00:07:32,600 Speaker 1: gotta figure it out, No, you don't. You just have 105 00:07:32,640 --> 00:07:37,560 Speaker 1: to make a choice. I did that one time I 106 00:07:37,600 --> 00:07:40,840 Speaker 1: had that situation. I mean this brother who was off 107 00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:51,840 Speaker 1: the chain, gorgeous, sweet calm, spiritually grounded, focus, dedicated, and 108 00:07:51,960 --> 00:07:54,480 Speaker 1: he had made a commitment in his mind to himself 109 00:07:54,720 --> 00:07:57,720 Speaker 1: that until he finished his doctorate we were in graduate 110 00:07:57,760 --> 00:08:00,920 Speaker 1: school together, that he wasn't gonna be in in a relationship. 111 00:08:01,200 --> 00:08:06,880 Speaker 1: And so then I showed up, you know, and we 112 00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:09,720 Speaker 1: had a great time together. We had it, studied together 113 00:08:09,800 --> 00:08:15,520 Speaker 1: and went together. It was just wonderful. And he was tormented. Tormented, 114 00:08:16,080 --> 00:08:18,120 Speaker 1: you know, this is not what I want. I don't 115 00:08:18,120 --> 00:08:20,040 Speaker 1: know if this is what God wants for me. This 116 00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:22,640 Speaker 1: I made a commitment. I can't do a relationship in 117 00:08:22,720 --> 00:08:24,480 Speaker 1: school and boot the bie to boop up up. And 118 00:08:24,560 --> 00:08:28,440 Speaker 1: normally my process would have been to try to convince 119 00:08:28,520 --> 00:08:31,920 Speaker 1: him of how wonderful and marvelous I was. But I 120 00:08:31,920 --> 00:08:34,800 Speaker 1: grew some late. I had grown some lady balls. You 121 00:08:34,840 --> 00:08:40,240 Speaker 1: know what lady balls are. I'll tell you how I 122 00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:51,520 Speaker 1: grew lady balls. After the break, welcome back. My caller 123 00:08:51,640 --> 00:08:54,559 Speaker 1: is learning how to stand up for herself, and right 124 00:08:54,640 --> 00:08:56,880 Speaker 1: before the break, I was going to share with her 125 00:08:57,160 --> 00:09:00,280 Speaker 1: how I did it. I had grown some lady balls, 126 00:09:00,320 --> 00:09:02,920 Speaker 1: and I said, you know what, if he don't want 127 00:09:02,920 --> 00:09:06,079 Speaker 1: to be with me, something must be wrong with him, 128 00:09:06,120 --> 00:09:07,600 Speaker 1: and I'm gonna let him go. So you know what 129 00:09:07,640 --> 00:09:10,560 Speaker 1: I told him one day when he was cavetching and 130 00:09:10,640 --> 00:09:12,520 Speaker 1: moaning and groaning about I don't know if this is 131 00:09:12,559 --> 00:09:15,000 Speaker 1: what I want to do and what we've don't done everything. 132 00:09:15,000 --> 00:09:18,000 Speaker 1: We don't eight together, slept together, shared money together. We 133 00:09:18,040 --> 00:09:20,199 Speaker 1: don't done and you still don't know. Okay, I'll tell 134 00:09:20,200 --> 00:09:22,400 Speaker 1: you what. And I looked him in his face. I said, 135 00:09:22,400 --> 00:09:25,120 Speaker 1: you're not really enjoyed being with you. This has been wonderful, 136 00:09:25,160 --> 00:09:27,960 Speaker 1: this has been marvelous. But you know what, you figure 137 00:09:27,960 --> 00:09:29,800 Speaker 1: out what you want to do, and when you figure 138 00:09:29,840 --> 00:09:32,720 Speaker 1: that out, let me know. In the meantime, I'm out 139 00:09:33,960 --> 00:09:39,200 Speaker 1: because I had to choose me. Mhm. And you know 140 00:09:39,240 --> 00:09:41,600 Speaker 1: what I found out about three weeks after I did that. 141 00:09:42,640 --> 00:09:46,400 Speaker 1: You want to know, don't you? That he was living 142 00:09:46,400 --> 00:09:53,640 Speaker 1: with another woman. Yeah, that's what I said. Wow, so 143 00:09:53,800 --> 00:09:57,960 Speaker 1: I just dodged that bullet. Yes, what if you're dodging 144 00:09:57,960 --> 00:10:05,400 Speaker 1: a bullet? Right? You got the dust off your lady balls. 145 00:10:04,840 --> 00:10:10,200 Speaker 1: Your lady balls are dusty. Don't think that because you 146 00:10:10,280 --> 00:10:13,160 Speaker 1: had a divorce. Oh God, here we go again. I'm 147 00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:16,959 Speaker 1: losing another one. I'm losing another relationship. Forget that he 148 00:10:17,080 --> 00:10:19,800 Speaker 1: doesn't know if he wants to be with you. You 149 00:10:19,840 --> 00:10:24,760 Speaker 1: can't convince him. Let him go. If it's yours, it'll 150 00:10:24,800 --> 00:10:28,719 Speaker 1: come back, all right. Now, tell me what you hear 151 00:10:28,760 --> 00:10:30,920 Speaker 1: me saying. You don't have to repeat my words, but 152 00:10:30,960 --> 00:10:33,440 Speaker 1: I want to know what your inner conversation is about 153 00:10:33,679 --> 00:10:37,840 Speaker 1: what you just heard. What I just heard was that 154 00:10:39,880 --> 00:10:46,240 Speaker 1: some things are just out of my control. And as 155 00:10:46,280 --> 00:10:51,600 Speaker 1: opposed to just hanging around and just waiting around, I 156 00:10:51,679 --> 00:10:54,920 Speaker 1: have to pick up the pieces of me and move 157 00:10:55,000 --> 00:11:00,120 Speaker 1: forward and what's meant for me is for me and 158 00:11:00,240 --> 00:11:03,360 Speaker 1: it will come to me. Well, I just want to 159 00:11:03,400 --> 00:11:06,040 Speaker 1: clean that up a little bit. What pieces? What? Why 160 00:11:06,120 --> 00:11:08,720 Speaker 1: are you in pieces? You're pretty old to me, you 161 00:11:08,800 --> 00:11:11,360 Speaker 1: had two years of good sex, good fun, nice man. 162 00:11:11,760 --> 00:11:16,880 Speaker 1: Why are you in pieces? It's just heartbroke and it's 163 00:11:16,880 --> 00:11:20,920 Speaker 1: just as sudden. I didn't expect it. It's just the 164 00:11:21,120 --> 00:11:24,320 Speaker 1: opposite of what what's been going on is. What if 165 00:11:24,400 --> 00:11:27,120 Speaker 1: you're dodging a bullet? What if you're dodging a bullet? 166 00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:32,240 Speaker 1: Caught you off? God, control freak, You didn't know? Okay, fine, 167 00:11:32,800 --> 00:11:35,960 Speaker 1: what if you're dodging a bullet? How come you're not 168 00:11:36,040 --> 00:11:40,800 Speaker 1: saying thank you God, Yeah, thank you for sending this comforter. 169 00:11:40,960 --> 00:11:42,920 Speaker 1: It was funny, was great? Is there another one coming 170 00:11:42,960 --> 00:11:49,080 Speaker 1: anytime soon? So I want you to repeat this with me, 171 00:11:49,160 --> 00:11:51,000 Speaker 1: and I want you to make this your mantra. You 172 00:11:51,040 --> 00:11:52,960 Speaker 1: know what a mantra is. A mantra is a word 173 00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:55,920 Speaker 1: or saying that you repeat over and over and over 174 00:11:55,960 --> 00:12:01,120 Speaker 1: to shift in your consciousness. Okay, okay, if he's mine, 175 00:12:01,520 --> 00:12:05,640 Speaker 1: repeat that. If he's man, he'll be here, He'll be 176 00:12:05,760 --> 00:12:15,520 Speaker 1: here if he's not, if he's not, bye bye. And 177 00:12:15,559 --> 00:12:18,640 Speaker 1: then you dust off your lady balls and you practice trust, 178 00:12:18,679 --> 00:12:22,240 Speaker 1: and you practice faith, and you choose you. I hear 179 00:12:22,280 --> 00:12:24,520 Speaker 1: you saying your heartbroken. I hear you're saying you're miss 180 00:12:24,600 --> 00:12:26,720 Speaker 1: him and and all of this. So what do you 181 00:12:26,760 --> 00:12:29,280 Speaker 1: need to do to choose you and bring peace to 182 00:12:29,320 --> 00:12:30,920 Speaker 1: you right now? What do you need to do? You 183 00:12:30,920 --> 00:12:33,640 Speaker 1: need to buy some chocolate? Do you need to go shopping? 184 00:12:34,080 --> 00:12:36,120 Speaker 1: Do you need to take some life spats? I got 185 00:12:36,160 --> 00:12:41,040 Speaker 1: some nice bath stuff you can take if you what 186 00:12:41,040 --> 00:12:44,199 Speaker 1: what do you need to do to choose you right now? 187 00:12:44,800 --> 00:12:47,960 Speaker 1: As opposed to giving him your time, your energy, your parts, 188 00:12:47,960 --> 00:12:52,640 Speaker 1: and your pieces. They do that to us all the time. No, 189 00:12:53,559 --> 00:12:55,600 Speaker 1: you don't want me. You don't know if you want me. 190 00:12:55,640 --> 00:12:59,680 Speaker 1: I'm not gonna let myself want you. By dust off, 191 00:12:59,679 --> 00:13:02,280 Speaker 1: you lay the balls, or grow him or put some 192 00:13:02,360 --> 00:13:05,600 Speaker 1: hair on him, or whatever you need to do, just 193 00:13:05,920 --> 00:13:10,640 Speaker 1: juice you. And it's hard. I'm not being heartless. I 194 00:13:10,679 --> 00:13:13,160 Speaker 1: know it's hard. But you were a long distance. You 195 00:13:13,200 --> 00:13:15,400 Speaker 1: didn't see him every day. You saw him months a month. 196 00:13:16,160 --> 00:13:18,280 Speaker 1: So you know what, You can still talk to him, 197 00:13:18,360 --> 00:13:22,080 Speaker 1: right it in your journal. You can still talk to him. 198 00:13:22,120 --> 00:13:25,800 Speaker 1: Have the conversation out loud. Put a chair in front 199 00:13:25,800 --> 00:13:28,079 Speaker 1: of you, make believe he's sitting in the chair, and 200 00:13:28,080 --> 00:13:30,360 Speaker 1: talk to that chair. You can still talk to him. 201 00:13:30,400 --> 00:13:33,199 Speaker 1: But when he calls, don't answer until he says you're 202 00:13:33,240 --> 00:13:35,360 Speaker 1: the one I want and I'm coming home. You don't 203 00:13:35,360 --> 00:13:38,800 Speaker 1: say that by right. See, I'm a little older, so 204 00:13:38,880 --> 00:13:42,160 Speaker 1: it's easy for me to be hard. I don't have time. 205 00:13:42,679 --> 00:13:45,880 Speaker 1: I'm closer to the grade than I am to the nursery. 206 00:13:48,600 --> 00:13:52,360 Speaker 1: Thank you so much, thank you. And here's the thing. 207 00:13:52,400 --> 00:13:55,440 Speaker 1: You know, you're not in this by yourself. Hundreds of 208 00:13:55,520 --> 00:13:58,400 Speaker 1: thousands of us are in it with you. So we 209 00:13:58,440 --> 00:14:01,000 Speaker 1: want you to be successful one way or the other. 210 00:14:01,360 --> 00:14:04,920 Speaker 1: Either he makes up his mind and chooses you, or 211 00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:08,960 Speaker 1: he makes up his mind and doesn't and you be okay, 212 00:14:09,200 --> 00:14:12,760 Speaker 1: choose you all right, Now, what you're gonna do. You're 213 00:14:12,800 --> 00:14:14,640 Speaker 1: gonna call me in six weeks and let me know 214 00:14:14,679 --> 00:14:22,960 Speaker 1: what happened. Absolutely, okay, go buy some chocolate. Thank you. Okay, 215 00:14:23,040 --> 00:14:29,400 Speaker 1: my love, Bye bye. Long distance relationships. I ain't messing 216 00:14:29,440 --> 00:14:34,280 Speaker 1: with that. She needs some lady balls. I wish I 217 00:14:34,360 --> 00:14:42,960 Speaker 1: could teach women about lady balls. Lady balls is that 218 00:14:43,600 --> 00:14:47,440 Speaker 1: cut off switch. It's that placing us that it's just 219 00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:56,640 Speaker 1: not going to accommodate, tolerate, entertain any foolishment. Lady balls 220 00:14:56,680 --> 00:15:00,240 Speaker 1: are that part of us that makes our spine eat 221 00:15:00,840 --> 00:15:06,200 Speaker 1: and our chest broad and our feet firm. When we 222 00:15:06,320 --> 00:15:10,320 Speaker 1: say I'm choosing me, I get that you're confused. I 223 00:15:10,360 --> 00:15:13,280 Speaker 1: guess that that you're loss I guess that you're working 224 00:15:13,320 --> 00:15:16,240 Speaker 1: through your stuff. But if you want to be with me, 225 00:15:16,560 --> 00:15:19,240 Speaker 1: I'm choosing me. This is what you gotta do. I 226 00:15:19,440 --> 00:15:23,640 Speaker 1: have a hard on for me. Okay, Now I can 227 00:15:23,760 --> 00:15:27,680 Speaker 1: share it with you, but I can't make it okay 228 00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:31,280 Speaker 1: for you. You've got to know. You've got to know, 229 00:15:31,760 --> 00:15:35,800 Speaker 1: because so very often as women, we think we know 230 00:15:36,080 --> 00:15:39,040 Speaker 1: he's the one, and he can take years to try 231 00:15:39,080 --> 00:15:40,880 Speaker 1: to figure out if I'm the one. Like I said, 232 00:15:40,920 --> 00:15:43,640 Speaker 1: I'm closer to the grade than I am to the nursery. 233 00:15:43,960 --> 00:15:51,160 Speaker 1: My lady balls are long, and Harry, I'm clear. We 234 00:15:51,280 --> 00:15:55,800 Speaker 1: can't waste no time, and you got two years, You've 235 00:15:55,840 --> 00:15:58,480 Speaker 1: got time in, you've got investment in, and I know 236 00:15:58,640 --> 00:16:00,920 Speaker 1: we don't want to let that go. I know we 237 00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:03,120 Speaker 1: don't want to let that go. But you've got to 238 00:16:03,200 --> 00:16:07,720 Speaker 1: strengthen your lady balls. You gotta get that estrogen, progesterone 239 00:16:07,840 --> 00:16:10,560 Speaker 1: or whatever flowing through them so that you don't waste 240 00:16:10,600 --> 00:16:17,240 Speaker 1: time choosing someone else's confusion over your clarity. Because here's 241 00:16:17,280 --> 00:16:21,080 Speaker 1: the truth. If it's for you, it's for you. And yes, 242 00:16:21,440 --> 00:16:24,760 Speaker 1: the other person may be entitled to moments of a 243 00:16:24,960 --> 00:16:28,560 Speaker 1: fear or or unclarity or unsurety, but I'm not gonna 244 00:16:28,560 --> 00:16:31,000 Speaker 1: mess around with that too long because if you're not 245 00:16:31,160 --> 00:16:34,160 Speaker 1: sure now, I don't want to be three or four 246 00:16:34,240 --> 00:16:37,240 Speaker 1: or five years into this and you could become unclear again. 247 00:16:38,040 --> 00:16:41,240 Speaker 1: Get clear, and it will work through everything else to 248 00:16:41,360 --> 00:16:44,760 Speaker 1: honor our commitment to be. But I'm not gonna try 249 00:16:44,800 --> 00:16:47,320 Speaker 1: to convince you. I know I got a herd on 250 00:16:47,560 --> 00:16:50,880 Speaker 1: for me, all right. That's what lady balls means. Have 251 00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:55,240 Speaker 1: a heart on for you, choose you, take care of you, 252 00:16:55,520 --> 00:16:59,760 Speaker 1: and give up this thought that everyone has to be 253 00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:03,800 Speaker 1: oh one. He may be the one for now, but 254 00:17:03,840 --> 00:17:07,280 Speaker 1: if he's not lining up, or him or her, whoever 255 00:17:07,359 --> 00:17:10,520 Speaker 1: you're with, I don't have any preference. I'm saying in 256 00:17:10,600 --> 00:17:15,560 Speaker 1: terms of partnership, relationship, intimate love ship. If they can 257 00:17:15,720 --> 00:17:20,120 Speaker 1: line up and if they're wondering, you wander away. If 258 00:17:20,160 --> 00:17:23,879 Speaker 1: I could teach ladies about their lady balls, chocolate helps 259 00:17:23,920 --> 00:17:34,120 Speaker 1: grow chocolate, chocolate cake, chocolate milkshake, and bubble backs. That's 260 00:17:34,119 --> 00:17:37,280 Speaker 1: how you grow your lady balls. My next collar is 261 00:17:37,320 --> 00:17:40,720 Speaker 1: a woman who feels she has too much masculine energy. 262 00:17:41,160 --> 00:17:43,880 Speaker 1: She's really going to enjoy what I have to say 263 00:17:43,920 --> 00:17:51,879 Speaker 1: about that. Hello, Hello, good afternoon, beloved, Welcome to the 264 00:17:51,920 --> 00:17:55,159 Speaker 1: ourt spot and how can I support you this afternoon? 265 00:17:55,800 --> 00:18:00,760 Speaker 1: So I need support in I'm getting out of a 266 00:18:00,840 --> 00:18:05,240 Speaker 1: marriage basically something on my marriage about a little over 267 00:18:05,280 --> 00:18:08,760 Speaker 1: a year now. And I was the one that made 268 00:18:08,760 --> 00:18:13,320 Speaker 1: that decision because I needed a lot of healing. I 269 00:18:13,440 --> 00:18:16,400 Speaker 1: was like broken in so many places. So I made 270 00:18:16,400 --> 00:18:18,959 Speaker 1: the conscious decision to get her in my marriage because 271 00:18:18,960 --> 00:18:23,960 Speaker 1: of that and the issues that I'm having is I 272 00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:27,000 Speaker 1: have a lot of masculine energy because I was raised 273 00:18:27,040 --> 00:18:31,840 Speaker 1: by my dad and by my male cousin, and I 274 00:18:31,920 --> 00:18:34,760 Speaker 1: was around like my uncle's and just a lot of men, 275 00:18:35,800 --> 00:18:38,800 Speaker 1: and even the women that I was around, they were 276 00:18:38,880 --> 00:18:42,600 Speaker 1: like really bold and courageous and you know, didn't play. 277 00:18:42,920 --> 00:18:46,280 Speaker 1: So I want to learn how to tone that down 278 00:18:47,520 --> 00:18:53,440 Speaker 1: and fed more feminine so I can attract the ideal man. 279 00:18:58,960 --> 00:19:01,840 Speaker 1: I love when people call me with their own self diagnosis. 280 00:19:01,880 --> 00:19:06,679 Speaker 1: It's so exciting. Okay, let me ask you a question. 281 00:19:07,160 --> 00:19:10,720 Speaker 1: What do you mean when you say masculine energy? What 282 00:19:10,840 --> 00:19:15,720 Speaker 1: does that mean? It means um. I will just be honest. 283 00:19:15,800 --> 00:19:21,720 Speaker 1: I was very controlling because I didn't want to be controlled. 284 00:19:22,320 --> 00:19:26,399 Speaker 1: So if my ex husband said anything to me like 285 00:19:26,480 --> 00:19:29,040 Speaker 1: I was on him. I didn't play the radio, you know, 286 00:19:29,160 --> 00:19:34,080 Speaker 1: and I feel like I maybe embarrassed him. Now he 287 00:19:34,280 --> 00:19:37,120 Speaker 1: did like come back at me, so he didn't let 288 00:19:37,200 --> 00:19:41,320 Speaker 1: me allow me to control him. But at the same time, 289 00:19:42,040 --> 00:19:45,359 Speaker 1: me doing that, I was always in a cat mold, 290 00:19:46,080 --> 00:19:48,280 Speaker 1: and I don't I didn't like that part of myself, 291 00:19:48,680 --> 00:19:51,600 Speaker 1: but I didn't really see that while I was in 292 00:19:51,720 --> 00:19:54,640 Speaker 1: my marriage. But once I got out of my American 293 00:19:54,720 --> 00:19:57,600 Speaker 1: Now that I'm single, I'm like, oh my god, I 294 00:19:57,680 --> 00:20:03,400 Speaker 1: had some serious issues. So you consider control as a 295 00:20:03,480 --> 00:20:09,080 Speaker 1: masculine thing. Yes, I do. Yes. And what's the distinction 296 00:20:09,560 --> 00:20:15,920 Speaker 1: that you make between control and fear? Um? I haven't 297 00:20:15,920 --> 00:20:20,400 Speaker 1: really thought about it like that. Very often people try 298 00:20:20,480 --> 00:20:25,240 Speaker 1: to control their environment, control how they are treated, control 299 00:20:25,320 --> 00:20:29,560 Speaker 1: what's going on when they're afraid, and they're afraid because 300 00:20:29,600 --> 00:20:35,719 Speaker 1: they don't feel safe. Yes, that is exactly right, because, 301 00:20:35,760 --> 00:20:39,200 Speaker 1: like I said, because I was raised by my dad. 302 00:20:39,280 --> 00:20:41,840 Speaker 1: My dad was like the mean person, right, like you 303 00:20:41,840 --> 00:20:45,640 Speaker 1: know what I'm saying, like the streets, always fussing, always 304 00:20:46,359 --> 00:20:50,440 Speaker 1: on my sister in a case, whereas with my cousin. 305 00:20:51,160 --> 00:20:54,560 Speaker 1: My cousin was more of the loving mail. I mean, 306 00:20:54,600 --> 00:20:59,080 Speaker 1: he always made us feel love and faith. We spent 307 00:20:59,160 --> 00:21:01,560 Speaker 1: a lot of time it my cousin and a lot 308 00:21:01,600 --> 00:21:05,040 Speaker 1: of time with my dad. So with that being said, 309 00:21:05,119 --> 00:21:07,720 Speaker 1: like I said, being around my dad and being around 310 00:21:08,400 --> 00:21:13,080 Speaker 1: and just being so verbally abusive, I was like, Okay, 311 00:21:13,119 --> 00:21:16,879 Speaker 1: I'm not going to allow a man to treat me 312 00:21:16,920 --> 00:21:21,080 Speaker 1: this way, you know. And of course this was all unconscious. 313 00:21:21,720 --> 00:21:25,600 Speaker 1: I didn't mean to be so hard, but because I 314 00:21:25,640 --> 00:21:28,000 Speaker 1: grew up that way. It was just like I was 315 00:21:28,080 --> 00:21:32,040 Speaker 1: just always in attack mode, always like I gotta have 316 00:21:32,160 --> 00:21:36,040 Speaker 1: the last word. And again, when I was younger, I 317 00:21:36,080 --> 00:21:38,400 Speaker 1: didn't see this as a problem. I was like, well, 318 00:21:38,520 --> 00:21:41,480 Speaker 1: this is just who I am. But once I started 319 00:21:41,560 --> 00:21:45,640 Speaker 1: to kill and do the work, as you always say, 320 00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:48,639 Speaker 1: I'm able to look at myself and look at that 321 00:21:48,760 --> 00:21:51,000 Speaker 1: past self, and I'm like, you know what, I don't 322 00:21:51,040 --> 00:21:53,440 Speaker 1: like the way I did things. I don't like the 323 00:21:53,480 --> 00:21:57,679 Speaker 1: way I treated people. Not that I'm a mean person 324 00:21:57,800 --> 00:22:00,560 Speaker 1: or a bad person, but I know I had some habits. 325 00:22:00,600 --> 00:22:04,000 Speaker 1: It's a bad way, and I don't want to go 326 00:22:04,080 --> 00:22:08,720 Speaker 1: into my future self with those weight. So I heard 327 00:22:08,760 --> 00:22:14,040 Speaker 1: you say this, not going to allow a man to 328 00:22:14,200 --> 00:22:19,840 Speaker 1: treat me that way? Which way is that? That way was, 329 00:22:20,720 --> 00:22:28,480 Speaker 1: like I said, my dad was very controlling, very manipulium. 330 00:22:28,520 --> 00:22:31,200 Speaker 1: And I hope I don't start crying. Um, wait a minute, 331 00:22:31,200 --> 00:22:34,639 Speaker 1: I want you to stop right there. Because when the 332 00:22:34,760 --> 00:22:40,280 Speaker 1: masculine energy feels aggressive, or when the masculine energy feels vulnerable, 333 00:22:40,920 --> 00:22:43,560 Speaker 1: it'll do one or two things. It will retreat or 334 00:22:43,680 --> 00:22:50,919 Speaker 1: it will attack. When the feminine energy feels vulnerable, it 335 00:22:51,000 --> 00:22:55,480 Speaker 1: will surrender, and it will weep. You said, I want 336 00:22:55,480 --> 00:22:58,879 Speaker 1: to learn more about my feminine energy. But then you said, 337 00:22:59,240 --> 00:23:06,480 Speaker 1: I hope I don't cry? Why not? Right? Feminine is water. Yes, yes, 338 00:23:06,680 --> 00:23:09,240 Speaker 1: I'm so glad you told me that, and I am 339 00:23:09,400 --> 00:23:12,320 Speaker 1: very emotional missing all. I have cried more in the 340 00:23:12,400 --> 00:23:14,760 Speaker 1: last two years that I've cried in my life. Well, 341 00:23:14,800 --> 00:23:16,679 Speaker 1: you said you want to set in, you want to 342 00:23:16,720 --> 00:23:21,280 Speaker 1: get into your feminine energy, exactly, exactly, So that's what 343 00:23:21,320 --> 00:23:24,280 Speaker 1: I've been doing. Right. So we'll get into how to 344 00:23:24,400 --> 00:23:38,320 Speaker 1: separate your energies when we come back. Welcome back to 345 00:23:38,400 --> 00:23:42,439 Speaker 1: the Oar Spot. In an episode about growing Lady Balls, 346 00:23:42,600 --> 00:23:46,760 Speaker 1: we definitely need to cover the difference between masculine and 347 00:23:46,840 --> 00:23:52,520 Speaker 1: feminine energy. Mail is fire and air, woman is water 348 00:23:52,720 --> 00:24:01,359 Speaker 1: and earth. Masculine energy is head, thought, thinking, intellect. Feminine 349 00:24:01,440 --> 00:24:08,399 Speaker 1: energy is heart, emotion, feeling. And what I hear you 350 00:24:08,560 --> 00:24:12,040 Speaker 1: saying to me, you want to get out of your 351 00:24:12,320 --> 00:24:18,760 Speaker 1: head and you're thinking and into your heart and feeling 352 00:24:19,280 --> 00:24:23,720 Speaker 1: so that you could be less aggressive and more passive, 353 00:24:24,600 --> 00:24:29,240 Speaker 1: but you're afraid to do that. Yeah. I could be wrong, 354 00:24:29,880 --> 00:24:33,119 Speaker 1: You're absolutely right, and I'm based on what you just said, 355 00:24:33,600 --> 00:24:35,760 Speaker 1: I know I'm all over the place. No you're not. 356 00:24:35,920 --> 00:24:37,960 Speaker 1: You're not all over the place. You in your head 357 00:24:39,800 --> 00:24:47,600 Speaker 1: protecting yourself from the controlling, manipulative, abusive energy that you 358 00:24:47,760 --> 00:24:53,320 Speaker 1: experienced from your father, the man that has nothing to 359 00:24:53,400 --> 00:24:59,400 Speaker 1: do with masculine energy. He was a man who expressed 360 00:24:59,520 --> 00:25:04,679 Speaker 1: his math scualinity through control, manipulation, and abut but true 361 00:25:04,800 --> 00:25:14,280 Speaker 1: masculine energy is thought and intellect and creation. True feminine energy, 362 00:25:14,800 --> 00:25:21,320 Speaker 1: it's heart and feeling and vulnerability and the word we 363 00:25:21,440 --> 00:25:28,040 Speaker 1: all hate passive or submissive mm hm. And you said, 364 00:25:28,520 --> 00:25:33,040 Speaker 1: I'm not going to allow a man to treat me 365 00:25:33,280 --> 00:25:36,000 Speaker 1: that way. I'm not going to allow man to be 366 00:25:36,040 --> 00:25:38,920 Speaker 1: abusive to me. I'm not gonna allow man to be manipulative. 367 00:25:38,960 --> 00:25:40,960 Speaker 1: I'm not gonna allow man to control me. I'm not 368 00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:46,480 Speaker 1: gonna allow a man to do that because it's not safe. 369 00:25:47,160 --> 00:25:51,920 Speaker 1: Listen to me, Okay, can you hear me? Yes? Man, okay. 370 00:25:52,560 --> 00:25:54,680 Speaker 1: And I want you to answer this question with the 371 00:25:54,720 --> 00:25:57,720 Speaker 1: first thing that comes to your mind. Doesn't have to 372 00:25:57,760 --> 00:26:03,320 Speaker 1: make sense. M h m hm. Who broke your heart? 373 00:26:05,600 --> 00:26:10,239 Speaker 1: Did your dad break your heart by the way he 374 00:26:10,480 --> 00:26:13,840 Speaker 1: was or did your mom break your heart by not 375 00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:20,879 Speaker 1: being there to protect you from your dad? Oh? Which 376 00:26:20,880 --> 00:26:25,600 Speaker 1: one happened first couldn't happen first because if your mom 377 00:26:25,600 --> 00:26:28,000 Speaker 1: had been there, Dad would have never been all over 378 00:26:28,080 --> 00:26:33,600 Speaker 1: you consider the possibility that your mom broke your heart. 379 00:26:34,520 --> 00:26:40,200 Speaker 1: Mm hmm yeah, and your heart is still broken, which 380 00:26:40,240 --> 00:26:47,560 Speaker 1: means it's tender and it's guarded. So if you really, 381 00:26:47,720 --> 00:26:53,400 Speaker 1: really really want to move into the feminine energy, you've 382 00:26:53,440 --> 00:26:58,800 Speaker 1: got to take the chain, the wall, the bricks, the 383 00:26:58,960 --> 00:27:04,960 Speaker 1: daggers off your heart and know that you are safe. Two. 384 00:27:06,359 --> 00:27:12,240 Speaker 1: Feel not just talking about crying. I'm talking about feeling. 385 00:27:13,960 --> 00:27:16,960 Speaker 1: You gotta get safe, and the way to get safe 386 00:27:17,040 --> 00:27:21,400 Speaker 1: is to heal that broken heart. It doesn't matter why 387 00:27:21,480 --> 00:27:25,159 Speaker 1: she left. The fact is the heart wasn't there to 388 00:27:26,160 --> 00:27:29,280 Speaker 1: balance the energy of the head, or the feminine wasn't 389 00:27:29,320 --> 00:27:32,920 Speaker 1: there to balance the energy of the masculine, because the 390 00:27:33,040 --> 00:27:35,840 Speaker 1: feminine is the heart. So you you don't have an 391 00:27:35,920 --> 00:27:39,640 Speaker 1: issue with with masculine energy. You have a heart condition. 392 00:27:40,560 --> 00:27:45,640 Speaker 1: H Wow. Also glad that you let me know, because 393 00:27:45,680 --> 00:27:51,960 Speaker 1: I'm like just all, oh, you're not You're in your head, 394 00:27:52,640 --> 00:27:56,439 Speaker 1: you're not all open place, and you're trying so hard 395 00:27:56,880 --> 00:27:59,520 Speaker 1: what not to be. I'm not gonna let a man 396 00:27:59,600 --> 00:28:01,520 Speaker 1: treat me this way. So I have to be this 397 00:28:01,640 --> 00:28:03,560 Speaker 1: and this and this and this and this. You're trying 398 00:28:03,600 --> 00:28:09,560 Speaker 1: so hard not to be something until you aren't being 399 00:28:09,560 --> 00:28:13,160 Speaker 1: what you want to be, which is feminine, soft, open hearted, 400 00:28:14,280 --> 00:28:20,320 Speaker 1: present in your feelings. Oh that's what to be. So 401 00:28:21,240 --> 00:28:24,400 Speaker 1: you got to heal up that broken heart. Stopped looking 402 00:28:24,400 --> 00:28:26,520 Speaker 1: at your dad. He was just a man. He wasn't 403 00:28:26,560 --> 00:28:31,919 Speaker 1: necessarily masculine energy, although that's how masculine energy when it's imbalanced. 404 00:28:33,359 --> 00:28:35,840 Speaker 1: It sounds like he had you and your sister. Your 405 00:28:35,880 --> 00:28:38,040 Speaker 1: mom was gone. We don't know what that felt like 406 00:28:38,160 --> 00:28:41,240 Speaker 1: for him. Maybe his heart was closed, Maybe he was angry, 407 00:28:41,280 --> 00:28:44,280 Speaker 1: Maybe he was hurt, Maybe he was disappointed. Maybe he 408 00:28:44,320 --> 00:28:46,480 Speaker 1: didn't know how to give you his heart. Maybe he 409 00:28:46,520 --> 00:28:48,720 Speaker 1: gave your heart his heart to your mom and she 410 00:28:48,880 --> 00:28:51,720 Speaker 1: left with it, or she broke his heart and he 411 00:28:51,880 --> 00:28:54,360 Speaker 1: just passed it on. Who knows. We can make it 412 00:28:54,440 --> 00:28:57,200 Speaker 1: up anyway we wanted to be. But what I hear 413 00:28:57,240 --> 00:29:00,960 Speaker 1: you saying is you want to be more in your heart. 414 00:29:01,360 --> 00:29:06,360 Speaker 1: So m so much is coming to mind now, I'm 415 00:29:06,360 --> 00:29:19,280 Speaker 1: all over the place. Or give nets. Oh yes, I 416 00:29:19,320 --> 00:29:22,760 Speaker 1: have been working with that, Mr Young. But who are 417 00:29:22,760 --> 00:29:27,000 Speaker 1: you forgiving? What are you forgiving? Help? Forgiving? Like I 418 00:29:27,040 --> 00:29:30,200 Speaker 1: said my dad or anybody else that I feel there 419 00:29:30,200 --> 00:29:34,000 Speaker 1: has hurt me, including my ex husband, and I'm forgiving 420 00:29:34,000 --> 00:29:39,400 Speaker 1: myself asking others to forgive me. And I didn't realize, though, 421 00:29:39,440 --> 00:29:45,640 Speaker 1: that forgiveness was such a hard, complicated process. M. I 422 00:29:45,800 --> 00:29:48,719 Speaker 1: always thought it was simple, as I say the prayer, 423 00:29:49,680 --> 00:29:52,840 Speaker 1: I forgive them, I wish them the best, I wish 424 00:29:52,920 --> 00:29:57,160 Speaker 1: them well, Okay, I'm good. And now that I'm on 425 00:29:57,200 --> 00:30:01,680 Speaker 1: this healing journey, I'm like, oh, it's be m hmmm. 426 00:30:01,920 --> 00:30:04,960 Speaker 1: It's so much deeper today. And I didn't realize that 427 00:30:05,160 --> 00:30:08,520 Speaker 1: before I asked some more work to do. Well. I 428 00:30:08,560 --> 00:30:12,000 Speaker 1: want to encourage you to go back and do your 429 00:30:12,040 --> 00:30:16,760 Speaker 1: forgiveness on your mom. Forget her story, forget what they 430 00:30:16,800 --> 00:30:19,320 Speaker 1: told you, forget what you think, forget what you made up. 431 00:30:19,920 --> 00:30:23,400 Speaker 1: Go back and do some forgiveness work on your mom, 432 00:30:23,480 --> 00:30:29,320 Speaker 1: and then do some forgiveness work with God. Mm hmm, Okay, 433 00:30:29,880 --> 00:30:33,840 Speaker 1: for giving God for whatever you think God is responsible for. 434 00:30:34,280 --> 00:30:37,240 Speaker 1: If he's responsible for your mom, if leaven, if he's 435 00:30:37,240 --> 00:30:41,320 Speaker 1: responsible for your dad being abusive, controlling, manipulative, if he's 436 00:30:41,320 --> 00:30:44,120 Speaker 1: responsible for every little thing that happened to you when 437 00:30:44,120 --> 00:30:49,600 Speaker 1: you were six twelve thirteen fifteen sixteen. Whatever. Forgive your mom, 438 00:30:49,760 --> 00:30:54,320 Speaker 1: forgive God, then go to your dad, and then go 439 00:30:54,480 --> 00:30:57,760 Speaker 1: to yourself. And the deepest way to do it is 440 00:30:57,800 --> 00:31:01,960 Speaker 1: really to forgive the thought, forgive the feeling, forgive the belief, 441 00:31:02,120 --> 00:31:06,480 Speaker 1: forgive the judgment. But the forgiveness work. If you want 442 00:31:06,480 --> 00:31:10,360 Speaker 1: to take another look at my book on forgiveness, because 443 00:31:10,480 --> 00:31:14,840 Speaker 1: that is the work. It's a forty day process. So 444 00:31:15,000 --> 00:31:19,920 Speaker 1: think of it this way, beloved again. Masculine energy is 445 00:31:20,280 --> 00:31:27,640 Speaker 1: head thought, intellect, it's creation. Feminine energy is heart feeling. 446 00:31:28,360 --> 00:31:32,400 Speaker 1: It's a surrender and energy of surrender and energy of passivity, 447 00:31:32,560 --> 00:31:38,800 Speaker 1: not weakness, but passivity, receptivity, receptivity, let me say, receptivity, 448 00:31:38,800 --> 00:31:44,480 Speaker 1: whereas masculine energy is a more aggressive energy. So you 449 00:31:44,520 --> 00:31:50,520 Speaker 1: want to move out of the aggression into the receptivity, okay, 450 00:31:50,640 --> 00:31:52,760 Speaker 1: And you want to know that it's safe to feel 451 00:31:53,600 --> 00:31:57,959 Speaker 1: and forgiveness, and then when you finish with forgiveness, you 452 00:31:58,040 --> 00:32:03,640 Speaker 1: can work on trust. Yea thank you for your call, 453 00:32:03,720 --> 00:32:06,920 Speaker 1: but loved, give me a call in about six weeks 454 00:32:06,920 --> 00:32:09,840 Speaker 1: and let me know where you are, Okay, I surely 455 00:32:09,840 --> 00:32:14,040 Speaker 1: will thank you so much, Okay, my love, bye bye, 456 00:32:14,400 --> 00:32:20,480 Speaker 1: all right by So many of us think that the 457 00:32:20,520 --> 00:32:24,920 Speaker 1: one right now has to be the one forever. In fact, 458 00:32:25,280 --> 00:32:30,560 Speaker 1: as women, we sometimes try to fit the square man 459 00:32:30,680 --> 00:32:34,320 Speaker 1: peg into the round hole in our heart, even when 460 00:32:34,360 --> 00:32:37,680 Speaker 1: we know it's not a good match. A good match 461 00:32:37,680 --> 00:32:41,080 Speaker 1: has nothing to do with masculine or feminine energy. It's 462 00:32:41,160 --> 00:32:45,000 Speaker 1: not about how much you invest in a relationship or 463 00:32:45,000 --> 00:32:48,000 Speaker 1: how much time you spend together. It doesn't even have 464 00:32:48,160 --> 00:32:50,640 Speaker 1: anything to do with how much you love each other. 465 00:32:50,960 --> 00:32:55,760 Speaker 1: A good match, a solid relationship has to grow from 466 00:32:55,840 --> 00:33:00,560 Speaker 1: the mutual respect between the people involved, which means that 467 00:33:00,800 --> 00:33:05,440 Speaker 1: sometimes you must stand up for yourself. You must grow 468 00:33:05,640 --> 00:33:10,520 Speaker 1: some lady balls and choose you, especially when you are 469 00:33:10,600 --> 00:33:16,360 Speaker 1: not feeling respected beloved. Choose you, vote for you, make 470 00:33:16,560 --> 00:33:20,320 Speaker 1: that change, and then go and get yourself some chocolate 471 00:33:20,600 --> 00:33:24,320 Speaker 1: and have a bubble back. Amana and I thank you 472 00:33:24,400 --> 00:33:28,560 Speaker 1: for tuning in. If you have questions or insights about 473 00:33:28,640 --> 00:33:31,719 Speaker 1: this or any other relationship topic and you would like 474 00:33:31,840 --> 00:33:34,600 Speaker 1: us to explore it here on the art spot, you 475 00:33:34,640 --> 00:33:38,120 Speaker 1: can call me live at seven seven five three zero 476 00:33:38,240 --> 00:33:41,440 Speaker 1: seven seven seven six eight. Now be sure to follow 477 00:33:41,440 --> 00:33:44,600 Speaker 1: me on social media for all of the calling times. 478 00:33:44,800 --> 00:33:54,960 Speaker 1: In the meantime, stay in peace and not pieces the 479 00:33:55,160 --> 00:33:59,040 Speaker 1: r Spot is a production of Shondaland Audio in partnership 480 00:33:59,080 --> 00:34:03,360 Speaker 1: with I heart rate Radio. For more podcasts from Shondaland Audio, 481 00:34:03,800 --> 00:34:07,680 Speaker 1: visit the I heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever 482 00:34:07,720 --> 00:34:09,800 Speaker 1: you listen to your favorite shows.