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Speaker 1: Hi, I'm Ashland Harris. I'm so excited to welcome you

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Speaker 1: to episode one of my new podcast, Wide Open in Sports.

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Speaker 1: Being wide open means you're ready to seize the moment

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Speaker 1: a chance to make a game changing impact in life.

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Speaker 1: It's about embracing vulnerability, showing up with honesty, and finding

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Speaker 1: the courage to face challenges head on. We've all had

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Speaker 1: moments that cracked us wide open times when life tested us,

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Speaker 1: broke us down, and made us question what's next. But

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Speaker 1: it's in those moments that we discover what we're really

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Speaker 1: made of. I've been there, I've felt the weight of

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Speaker 1: tough times, but every setback has taught me something. Resilience.

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Speaker 1: It's what fuels us to rise stronger and more determined

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Speaker 1: than ever. For a long time, I've wanted to share

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Speaker 1: the conversations I've been having about those moments with my friends,

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Speaker 1: with people I admire and the people I'm just getting

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Speaker 1: to know. Each episode, I'll sit down with trailblazers from sports, music, fashion, entertainment,

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Speaker 1: and politics to explore their toughest moments and the incredible

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Speaker 1: comebacks that followed. I'm excited to start this journey with

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Speaker 1: you all. It's time for honest conversations, unforgettable stories, and

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Speaker 1: a front row seat to the moments that changed everything.

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Speaker 1: In this first episode of Wide Open, I want to

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Speaker 1: share the beautiful conversation I had with my friend and

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Speaker 1: fellow goalkeeper, Tim Howard. Tim is not only a great goalkeeper,

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Speaker 1: but a dedicated advocate for women's sports and mental health.

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Speaker 1: He was a role model for me during a time

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Speaker 1: when being a professional women's soccer player wasn't widely accepted.

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Speaker 1: We came from a similar background and we have faced

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Speaker 1: a lot of the same obstacles pursuing a professional career

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Speaker 1: in sports. But more than that, Tim is an exceptional

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Speaker 1: human with a lot of wisdom to share about moving

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Speaker 1: through life with dignity and integrity. Welcome to Wide Open.

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Speaker 1: Welcome everyone. I am so excited to introduce our guests

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Speaker 1: for this show this week, the one and only Tim Howard. Tim,

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Speaker 1: Welcome to Wide Open, my new podcast and show. We're

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Speaker 1: so happy you're here today.

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Speaker 2: Thank you. It is an honor to be with you.

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Speaker 2: We've been friends for quite a while and I was

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Speaker 2: starting to wonder if I was to get the invite,

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Speaker 2: so I'm happy.

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Speaker 1: Absolutely you are the invite. My friend and for those

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Speaker 1: of you who do not know who Tim Howard is,

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Speaker 1: which I find that very impossible. Your history in the

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Speaker 1: sport of soccer is legendary. You're recently a Hall of Famer,

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Speaker 1: which congratulations so well deserving. Arguably the best men's national

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Speaker 1: goalkeeper of all time, in my opinion, of all time.

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Speaker 1: You have a rich history in the sport of greatness

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Speaker 1: and that is why you're here today. But more importantly,

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Speaker 1: what I love so much about you is who you

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Speaker 1: are and how you show up. And with this show

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Speaker 1: Wide Open is clearly we are much more than what

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Speaker 1: we do, and peeling back those layers and really showing

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Speaker 1: why we tick the way we tick, why we move

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Speaker 1: the way we move, why we choose to be exceptional

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Speaker 1: every single day, and why we are able to sit

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Speaker 1: at the top where the air is so thin for

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Speaker 1: so long and I'm curious. I always start the podcast

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Speaker 1: and the show with this one question. What happened in

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Speaker 1: your life that really split you wide open, whether in

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Speaker 1: your personal life, whether it's in football soccer, what split

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Speaker 1: you wide open that changed everything for you?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? So I think that there's two different answers. One

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Speaker 2: is professional and one is personal. And I think on

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Speaker 2: a professional level. My move to Manchester United was widely

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Speaker 2: covered globally and had some had some ups there. I

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Speaker 2: had some downs, and as an athlete, you're ridiculed and

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Speaker 2: torn down, it beats you up. And that was a

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Speaker 2: big moment for me because it was it was a

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Speaker 2: moment that should have broken me, but I was just

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Speaker 2: because of how I was raised and my bullishness and

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Speaker 2: arrogance to want to be great. I was. I thought, well,

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Speaker 2: to heck with them, I'm gonna I'm going to succeed somehow.

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Speaker 2: And so I'm really thankful for that criticism at the

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Speaker 2: time because it hardened me and it allowed me to

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Speaker 2: It gave me a platform to to be so singularly

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Speaker 2: focused on greatness. You know, when everyone's talking about you

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Speaker 2: in the tablets, you're talking about you and people don't think

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Speaker 2: you're good enough, and you're like, all right, I'm circling

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Speaker 2: the wagons. This is like me versus me. It actually

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Speaker 2: did me a disservice in life, that mentality. After playing,

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Speaker 2: I had to kind of relearn some things. But while

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Speaker 2: I was playing, just that arrogance and that ability to

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Speaker 2: block everything out and be great. And then on a

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Speaker 2: personal level, I was playing in I was still in England,

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Speaker 2: spent thirteen years there, and my ex wife and I

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Speaker 2: got divorced and I had two young kids and they

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Speaker 2: went back to the States. And sadly, because it's the

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Speaker 2: Premier league, it's what we do, there's no days off.

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Speaker 2: And I would have to bet, you know, kind of

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Speaker 2: beg my coach, who was brilliant at the time, to

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Speaker 2: give me one or two days off every month or

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Speaker 2: sixty days. I know that sounds crazy, and by the way,

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Speaker 2: it was crazy. And I'd hop on a flight across

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Speaker 2: the Atlantic and i'd connect in Atlanta, I'd go to

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Speaker 2: Memphis to see the kiddos for thirty six hours, and

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Speaker 2: I'd hop back on a plane and do it all again.

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Speaker 2: And at the time you think it's impossible, but you'll

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Speaker 2: do anything for your kids. And so I remember thinking

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Speaker 2: if that didn't break me, like nothing would. And so

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Speaker 2: it served me well. You know, just this week and

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Speaker 2: I took my daughter plays the CNL and her teams

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Speaker 2: in Birmingham, Alabama. So hopped in a car, drove four hours,

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Speaker 2: watched her game for two hours, and drove back and

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Speaker 2: I complained once or twice along the land. I thought

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Speaker 2: Tim He dreamed of these days of being close enough

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Speaker 2: to hop in a car and grab a water and

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Speaker 2: drive to see your kid play, you know, like so

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Speaker 2: it gave me.

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Speaker 1: Perspective as well, and I think that's exactly who you are.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: And it's weird too, because I looked up to you

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Speaker 1: a lot, and I picked number twenty four because of you.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I have my rank here, it best number.

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Speaker 1: When I was growing up, we didn't have female role models,

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Speaker 1: and lucky enough Ali gets that, who's your daughter. I

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Speaker 1: looked up to people like you, and I was like,

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Speaker 1: if I'm going to do this, I have to be him,

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Speaker 1: and I have to move like him, and I have

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Speaker 1: to commit this same level that he did whatever it

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Speaker 1: took to get there, I need to do. And then

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Speaker 1: when I met you, I was like, oh my god,

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Speaker 1: he's the coolest fucking human, like peel away all of

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Speaker 1: the success and you know, forward facing, you know, in

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Speaker 1: the spotlight. You're just a good human And a lot

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Speaker 1: of that is a product of our youth and our

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Speaker 1: environment and how we're raised, the decisions we make. So

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Speaker 1: I want to start there. Who was Timmy? You know,

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Speaker 1: five six seven year old boy grew you know, you

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Speaker 1: grew up in New Jersey with a single your mom

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Speaker 1: was raising you. You start discovering a lot of things

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Speaker 1: about yourself at a young age, like Tourette's or o

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Speaker 1: c D. And so I'm curious how your youth, your childhood,

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Speaker 1: shaped you into this lovely human.

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Speaker 2: I adore thank you, Yeah, I mean I appreciate the

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Speaker 2: wonderful words, and that the fact that you looked up

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Speaker 2: to me and now, my you've paved the way for

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Speaker 2: my daughter to do the things and be great in

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Speaker 2: the game. And you know, she looked at me the

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Speaker 2: other day and said and said, uh, you know, I

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Speaker 2: want to I want to after college, I want to

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Speaker 2: pursue professional soccer. And you know it dawned on me

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Speaker 2: at that moment. I knew it. I know you, and

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Speaker 2: I know some man of your teammates and friends of mine,

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Speaker 2: and I knew that that's a reality. But when your

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Speaker 2: daughter says it, you're like, okay, because fifteen years ago

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Speaker 2: you and I wouldn't have been having that conversation. So like, wow, amazing.

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Speaker 2: And you know I think that I think that who

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Speaker 2: so much of who I am, when you take away

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Speaker 2: the brashness, is just that little kid from New Jersey.

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Speaker 2: I was raised by an incredible woman. You know, my

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Speaker 2: mom was an immigrant, she came over. She was born

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Speaker 2: in nineteen fifty King Too States and fifty six during

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Speaker 2: during the Hungarian Revolution in Budapest, and you know, struggled

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Speaker 2: through life, didn't have a ton of money. My grant,

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Speaker 2: my grandparents, you know, work their butts off. And so

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Speaker 2: I always had that kind of inner drive to like,

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Speaker 2: you don't have a lot, you're gonna you have to

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Speaker 2: work for what you have. And you know, for me,

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Speaker 2: the hard work was easy because I had I was

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Speaker 2: given a gift and a passion for sports in general,

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Speaker 2: but soccer. And you know, I could always remember my

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Speaker 2: dad was a long haul truck driver. I wasn't around

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Speaker 2: a whole lot, and I just always remember like when

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Speaker 2: when things got tough for and you've been in the

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Speaker 2: same boots that I have. When things got tough for me,

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Speaker 2: I was like, man, my mom and dad would kill

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Speaker 2: for for this, Like this ain't hard work, you know

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Speaker 2: what I mean, Like it hurt, yeah, but it was

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Speaker 2: like this ain't hard work. And so I was. I

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Speaker 2: was raised the right way, and you know, coming up

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Speaker 2: in New Jersey, had a great childhood, lower socioeconomic household.

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Speaker 2: My mom worked a couple of jobs. And again at

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Speaker 2: the time, that's normal. Divorce was normal, you know, A

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Speaker 2: mixed race kid was normal. Like I didn't even know

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Speaker 2: what it was. I mean, I would tell a funny

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Speaker 2: story in the mid mid eighties. I was in grade

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Speaker 2: school and some and commented on the color of my skin,

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Speaker 2: and they weren't being mean, and I said, yeah, my

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Speaker 2: family goes to Florida every every Christmas. And in my head,

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Speaker 2: I was like, I go to Florida, I get a

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Speaker 2: sun tan. I had no idea why my skin was

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Speaker 2: that color, and so I had a really I had

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Speaker 2: a really good upbringing about I was about nine years old,

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Speaker 2: so you're looking late eighties, you know, I started having

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Speaker 2: some things going on with me, and it was when

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Speaker 2: you were a kid, it's just kind of who you are.

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Speaker 2: And I knew something fell off. My OCD and my

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Speaker 2: counting and my touching door handles and counting steps and

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Speaker 2: all the things that I was doing seemed weird and

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Speaker 2: we're a little bit annoying to a young my young self,

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Speaker 2: but I didn't really know what it was. I just

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Speaker 2: got on with it. I went to school, and played soccer.

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Speaker 2: It wasn't debilitating as the word is. And then and

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Speaker 2: then my ticks started to arrive shortly thereafter. Again felt different.

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Speaker 2: Was it felt a little bit odd, but it wasn't

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Speaker 2: as if I was like in my room in a

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Speaker 2: dark corner crying about it. It was like, this is kind

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Speaker 2: of weird, but can I go out and play? You know?

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Speaker 2: And so as a parent, as you know, that's when

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Speaker 2: my mom starts going, hmmm, something's not quite adding up

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Speaker 2: with my son. So I often tell a story God

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Speaker 2: bless her. She went to the library, and I tell

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Speaker 2: young kids today the libraries that thing that has a

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Speaker 2: bunch of books in it, because they don't quite get

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Speaker 2: what that is. And there was no internet, and so

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Speaker 2: my mom's pulling books off the shelf and writing notes,

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Speaker 2: and we kind of had this bit of a self diagnosis.

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Speaker 2: And once she kind of got a grip of what

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Speaker 2: she thought was going on with me, we went and

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Speaker 2: saw a specialist and a neurologist and they confirmed it.

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Speaker 2: And at the time I think it was like I

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Speaker 2: think my family exhaled and they were just like, all right, cool,

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Speaker 2: we got we got a name for this thing. Now

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Speaker 2: we can figure out treatments or whatever that is. And

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Speaker 2: I was kind of like, cool, there's a name to it.

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Speaker 2: But I don't really change anything. Soccer was my sports,

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Speaker 2: but soccer was my my haven. Soccer was you know,

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Speaker 2: I was a rambunctious kid, clearly OCD and ADHD, and

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Speaker 2: I was hyperactive and I was ticking in twitch and

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Speaker 2: I had all this stuff going on. And my mom

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Speaker 2: was like, pick a sport, get out of the house.

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Speaker 2: And so I was like, all right, it's fall in

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Speaker 2: New Jersey, so we go play soccer. And then I

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Speaker 2: went to was basketball and then baseball in spring, but

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Speaker 2: I gravitated towards soccer and I loved it, and it

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Speaker 2: was just it became you know, we talk about passion,

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Speaker 2: what does that mean. It became like I cried when

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Speaker 2: the games got rained out. I had my shint guards

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Speaker 2: on and my jersey and I'm like, well, why can't

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Speaker 2: we play soccer? And I wanted to be on the

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Speaker 2: field and sliding around and doing all the things. And

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Speaker 2: so that part for me, it's like, no wonder I

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Speaker 2: ended up playing soccer at the level I did. But

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Speaker 2: I have to say even in my even in my youth,

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Speaker 2: I wouldn't say I had it easy. But I talked

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Speaker 2: to so many young people with TS, and I hear

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Speaker 2: their story. I'm just motivated by them. You know, they're

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Speaker 2: going to tell me they're they're motivated by me, but

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Speaker 2: I'm inspired by them. And you know, I was. I

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Speaker 2: was a popular kid. I was athletic, I had popular friends.

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Speaker 2: Not too popular as everything, but to a fourteen year

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Speaker 2: old Tim Howard, popular was everything. And so I kind

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Speaker 2: of had I kind of had this opportunity to just

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Speaker 2: allow myself to to be normal, whatever that normal looked like.

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Speaker 2: I didn't get made fun of, per se. And I

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Speaker 2: just when I work with some of these young kids

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Speaker 2: and groups on the neurodiversity level and the treat syndrom level,

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Speaker 2: I'm just like floored by how far we've come. We've

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Speaker 2: got a long way to go, but how far we've come.

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Speaker 2: And you know, and even even back then, I was

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Speaker 2: so nervous to show who I was and to hide

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Speaker 2: my tics. And as I got older, you know, in

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Speaker 2: my late teens and early twenties, it was about like, no, like,

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Speaker 2: put a face to this thing and be a voice

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Speaker 2: for the voiceless. And and I'll always continue to do that.

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Speaker 2: And I spoke to a I spoke to a young

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Speaker 2: girl last night, part of the New Jersey Trets and

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Speaker 2: Drum associate and she's fourteen years old. She's a freshman

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Speaker 2: high school and she was telling me all about she's

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Speaker 2: going to Congress to speak and she speaks to assemblies

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Speaker 2: at a school and I'm just like, who are you?

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Speaker 2: Like you're on my team now? Like I mean, she

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Speaker 2: was just so incredibly passionate about her TS, and I

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Speaker 2: was like, that is like, that's amazing because I was not.

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Speaker 2: And I just there's this like full circle moment with her.

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Speaker 1: Not everyone has, I'm sure the luxury of being the

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Speaker 1: popular kid, and I'm sure so many young kids with

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Speaker 1: TS and OCD are really getting picked on and harassed.

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Speaker 1: And I'm very much an advocate of you know, talking

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Speaker 1: about the bullying that goes on in schools and now

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Speaker 1: having social media, and I'm curious, is this why it

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Speaker 1: became such a big deal to you? And is this

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Speaker 1: why you became you know, a voice to what TS is?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, Look, they always remember two odd different conversations. But

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Speaker 2: my mom would always say to whom much is given,

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Speaker 2: much is required. And people say, like, what's the best

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Speaker 2: advice you've ever gotten. That's it and and I remember

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Speaker 2: hating it. I'm like, why I didn't ask for all this,

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Speaker 2: you know, and she would say, well, listen, this is

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Speaker 2: the way it goes. And I go okay, and so

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Speaker 2: I think, you know, I think me championing that cause

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Speaker 2: for TS is exactly what you said, like, not everyone

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Speaker 2: gets to be popular or good at sports and can

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Speaker 2: kind of like have TS b the secondary thing people

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Speaker 2: talk about. It's always the first thing. And so I, yeah,

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Speaker 2: I was. I was fortunate there and so and so

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Speaker 2: I immediately felt like, not everyone gets this. So I'm

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Speaker 2: not going to be naive enough to think that people

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Speaker 2: don't need help and need a voice and need to advocacy.

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Speaker 2: And so that was that was huge, And I think

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Speaker 2: the legacy part is really I remember it distinctly. I

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Speaker 2: was probably I was at Everton Stills in one of

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Speaker 2: my last year is probably about thirty five years old.

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Speaker 2: I have a wonderful agent who I've had I still

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Speaker 2: have today, and I've had him, say and I was

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Speaker 2: twenty two years old or something like that, and we've

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Speaker 2: had We've gone from agent, player, mentor friend coy. He's

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Speaker 2: just he's amazing and I remember him saying, and I

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Speaker 2: was thirty five and I was on the phone. He said,

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Speaker 2: what do you want your legacy to be? And I

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Speaker 2: scoffed at him and I don't ever, very rarely keep

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Speaker 2: up with him and vice versa. But I was like,

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Speaker 2: I don't what do you mean, I don't know legacy.

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Speaker 2: I was like, I'm focused on one in the next

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Speaker 2: Premier League game. I want, I want, I want to

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Speaker 2: continue to be great, like I have time to think

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Speaker 2: about legacy. And then it hit and then you know,

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Speaker 2: he obviously stirred something in me. And over the next

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Speaker 2: few years that's ten years ago, and over the next

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Speaker 2: few years it was like, right, what what what do

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Speaker 2: you want to let your legacy be? And like how

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Speaker 2: important is that to you? And it's everything to me

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Speaker 2: because I think you realize when you leave the game

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Speaker 2: that was so much. You know, you go back to

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Speaker 2: young timmy young Ashton kicking a ball like that was

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Speaker 2: that's all you ever wanted to do. And in order

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Speaker 2: to be great, and I sincerely believe this, in order

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Speaker 2: to be great at soccer or any sport, but for

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Speaker 2: us it soccer, you have to be so singularly focused.

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Speaker 2: You have to be so vulnerable and selfish an area

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Speaker 2: you can't get to the top by being like the

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Speaker 2: aw shucks person. I don't believe that. I think you

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Speaker 2: have to give and take a lot. And so when

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Speaker 2: I thought about legacy, particularly now, it was like I

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Speaker 2: had a great career, like, it doesn't do it doesn't

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Speaker 2: It stands there and it's in the hall, and it's

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Speaker 2: hung on a wall and you can read it. And yes,

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Speaker 2: I think it inspires some people, but I didn't really

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Speaker 2: and this is different from you and your teammates. I

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Speaker 2: didn't really necessarily create change. I think I created a

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Speaker 2: legacy of some sort and some inspiration. But now that

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Speaker 2: I'm done, my focus in terms of legacy is how

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Speaker 2: can I create a lasting change. How can I create

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Speaker 2: change in the game, because soccer is important to me

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Speaker 2: that that is going to change people's lives. Like, yes,

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Speaker 2: you can cheer for a team, and that's exciting, but

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Speaker 2: when I you know, in the conversations that I'm having,

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Speaker 2: particularly which is basically one of my big passions at

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Speaker 2: the moment, is around HBCU women's soccer right and talking

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Speaker 2: to organizations and programs that have women's soccer programs at

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Speaker 2: their at their universities and some that don't, and how

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Speaker 2: do how do we make that change? Because I look

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Speaker 2: at my daughter who has worked her butt off. She

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Speaker 2: comes from very privileged background, very privileged parents, and she's

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Speaker 2: put the hard work in and she's going to University

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Speaker 2: of Tennessee go Valls and they have everything, and that's amazing.

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Speaker 2: That's what I want for my daughter. But I look

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Speaker 2: at some of these young women who are going to

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Speaker 2: HBCUs who want to pursue soccer careers, and they're no

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Speaker 2: different than my daughter. They have the same want, same desires.

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Speaker 2: They want to save space to play, they want to

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Speaker 2: be supported financially and otherwise they don't have all of that.

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Speaker 2: And so I'm looking into that space of trying to

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Speaker 2: figure out how do I make a change. You know

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Speaker 2: when I when I looked at investing in football clubs

355
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Speaker 2: and I kicked the tires with teams in Europe and

356
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Speaker 2: MLS and NWSL. You know, when we got to the

357
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Speaker 2: conversation with the Houston Donmo and Dash, such a major

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Speaker 2: part of the poll for me was being able to

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00:19:06,640 --> 00:19:10,200
Speaker 2: have a hand, a helping hand in women's sports that

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Speaker 2: it's already been driven to near astronomical levels, But how

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Speaker 2: can I be a part of the conversation from an

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Speaker 2: investment but also supporting role and empowering people to continue

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Speaker 2: to drive women's soccer forward. So that for me was

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Speaker 2: like that's what legacy is, Like I do and I

365
00:19:27,960 --> 00:19:29,960
Speaker 2: don't mean to downplay my career. My career was amazing.

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Speaker 2: I'm so thankful, Like it couldn't have gone better. It

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Speaker 2: really couldn't have. But like now what you know, Like

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Speaker 2: it's like, now what because I can I can no

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Speaker 2: longer add to that, Like that's there was the whistle

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Speaker 2: blew and it was done, like quite literally, I cannot

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Speaker 2: add to that anymore. So it's like, you know, I

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00:19:45,119 --> 00:19:48,119
Speaker 2: took so much from the game and I was and

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Speaker 2: I've always kind of thought like how how can I

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Speaker 2: give back? I probably never give back equal measures to

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Speaker 2: what I've taken, but I it's like, what can I

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Speaker 2: do outside of the game to affect real part, like

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00:19:59,680 --> 00:20:02,040
Speaker 2: real positive change, And like that's my driving force.

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Speaker 1: I love that And because that was going to be

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Speaker 1: one of my next question questions where it was when

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Speaker 1: you were growing up you had success very early? Yeah,

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00:20:13,200 --> 00:20:16,560
Speaker 1: what was your why how did you know? You know?

382
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Speaker 1: High school? You're playing with you know, by high school

383
00:20:19,600 --> 00:20:21,439
Speaker 1: you were already a pro. Let's just call it what

384
00:20:21,520 --> 00:20:24,760
Speaker 1: it is. Was there a moment where you thought, hmm,

385
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Speaker 1: I can really do something here. I can provide for

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Speaker 1: myself in a way that nothing else probably can. And

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Speaker 1: I can help my parents, and I can do all

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Speaker 1: these things, and I want this better life for myself.

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Speaker 1: Was that a part of it or were you just

390
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Speaker 1: a young kid having fun?

391
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Speaker 2: I think I think the former.

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Speaker 1: I was.

393
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Speaker 2: I was brash, and I was arrogant. I remember, like

394
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Speaker 2: I was sitting on the bench for the Metro stores

395
00:20:53,320 --> 00:20:56,240
Speaker 2: behind tonme all the great times. I mean, you want

396
00:20:56,240 --> 00:20:58,159
Speaker 2: to talk about icons. He became a dear friend and

397
00:20:58,160 --> 00:21:00,880
Speaker 2: I'm so thankful for his friendship, but a real mentor.

398
00:21:01,240 --> 00:21:03,040
Speaker 2: And I just remember sitting on the bench and like

399
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Speaker 2: I looked back and like, what an idiot. I think

400
00:21:05,800 --> 00:21:08,520
Speaker 2: I went to the GM at the time and I said, well,

401
00:21:08,520 --> 00:21:10,480
Speaker 2: I wouldn't be playing, and he like looked at me,

402
00:21:10,680 --> 00:21:12,560
Speaker 2: and I can't even imagine the conversation. I was guys

403
00:21:12,560 --> 00:21:15,560
Speaker 2: looking at me like, but Tony Meola is stuff like

404
00:21:15,960 --> 00:21:17,440
Speaker 2: he barely not to catch a ball at the moment,

405
00:21:17,480 --> 00:21:20,359
Speaker 2: And I just remember being arrogant enough to feel like

406
00:21:20,760 --> 00:21:24,280
Speaker 2: I believe in myself and you know, God rest his soul.

407
00:21:24,359 --> 00:21:27,560
Speaker 2: Kobe Bryant, you know, he's a similar age of mine,

408
00:21:27,560 --> 00:21:30,200
Speaker 2: and I remember at the time he like went from

409
00:21:30,240 --> 00:21:33,280
Speaker 2: high school to the pros and I was not Kobe Bryant,

410
00:21:33,320 --> 00:21:35,840
Speaker 2: but I remember thinking like, well, yeah, well he did it,

411
00:21:35,840 --> 00:21:38,760
Speaker 2: so why can't I, Like, I want to be a starter.

412
00:21:38,800 --> 00:21:40,359
Speaker 2: I want to be a superstar too, Like I don't know,

413
00:21:40,520 --> 00:21:43,960
Speaker 2: just these like probably you know, at the time a

414
00:21:44,040 --> 00:21:48,600
Speaker 2: little silly and crazy, but as you know, became prophetic

415
00:21:49,119 --> 00:21:52,040
Speaker 2: that helped me along the way of like I wanted

416
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Speaker 2: to be great. I want you know, there was a

417
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Speaker 2: time when I wanted to be the greatest US goalkeeper

418
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Speaker 2: of all time. And I remember Bruce Arena, who is

419
00:22:01,600 --> 00:22:03,320
Speaker 2: one of my favorite coaches. And I've had some great

420
00:22:03,359 --> 00:22:06,840
Speaker 2: ones along the way, you know. I had Casey Keller

421
00:22:06,880 --> 00:22:10,359
Speaker 2: and and Brad Friedel were established premier leagu goalkeepers. And

422
00:22:10,359 --> 00:22:12,560
Speaker 2: I just went to Man United. I was playing and

423
00:22:12,600 --> 00:22:16,080
Speaker 2: I was feeling myself and We're going into qualifying or

424
00:22:16,119 --> 00:22:19,800
Speaker 2: World Cup or something, and I was like I should

425
00:22:19,840 --> 00:22:22,280
Speaker 2: be playing, and he was like, no, you shouldn't, and

426
00:22:22,320 --> 00:22:25,280
Speaker 2: I was like, well, Brad plays at Blackburn and Casey

427
00:22:25,320 --> 00:22:27,680
Speaker 2: plays it. Todd him I played Manion, that best team

428
00:22:27,720 --> 00:22:28,959
Speaker 2: in the world. As we playing, I canna have this

429
00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:32,520
Speaker 2: conversation with Bruce Arena, and I'm like, like, god, if

430
00:22:32,520 --> 00:22:34,960
Speaker 2: I if I, if I knew then what I know now.

431
00:22:35,160 --> 00:22:37,399
Speaker 2: But you know, there was just this arrogance and it

432
00:22:37,720 --> 00:22:42,159
Speaker 2: wasn't it wasn't hollow. It was backed up by by eating, sleeping,

433
00:22:42,200 --> 00:22:45,640
Speaker 2: waking up every single day and driving myself to exhaustion

434
00:22:45,760 --> 00:22:49,200
Speaker 2: and feeling like I was the greatest. And I think

435
00:22:49,240 --> 00:22:52,880
Speaker 2: I always had that brashness. Soccer at a certain point

436
00:22:53,320 --> 00:22:57,479
Speaker 2: became it wasn't fun anymore. I know you can attest

437
00:22:57,480 --> 00:22:59,199
Speaker 2: to that, and I don't mean, I don't mean that

438
00:22:59,440 --> 00:23:03,879
Speaker 2: to sound they Ultimately, in order to achieve greatness on

439
00:23:03,920 --> 00:23:08,240
Speaker 2: the level that you and I did, it has to

440
00:23:08,320 --> 00:23:15,720
Speaker 2: become it has to become this no holds bar dark business.

441
00:23:15,880 --> 00:23:18,440
Speaker 2: It just the fun is out of it becomes competition.

442
00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:21,840
Speaker 2: And so what what I, in a very sadistic way,

443
00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:26,000
Speaker 2: enjoyed was the competition was the fierceness of it. Would

444
00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:28,480
Speaker 2: I say it's fun, No, because I can I compare

445
00:23:28,520 --> 00:23:33,000
Speaker 2: fun with like laughing and being jovial and haha, and

446
00:23:33,040 --> 00:23:37,439
Speaker 2: like pure enjoyment. That wasn't what soccer was for me.

447
00:23:37,600 --> 00:23:41,800
Speaker 2: It was it was competitive, and I enjoy I love

448
00:23:41,840 --> 00:23:44,199
Speaker 2: to compete, love to compete. In fact, I don't do

449
00:23:44,280 --> 00:23:46,800
Speaker 2: a lot of things now with my friends because I

450
00:23:46,840 --> 00:23:49,320
Speaker 2: know that I can't just do something. I'm going to

451
00:23:49,320 --> 00:23:52,040
Speaker 2: compete and I'm going to lose friends and so and so.

452
00:23:52,720 --> 00:23:55,360
Speaker 2: It was never really fun. And again I don't mean

453
00:23:55,359 --> 00:23:57,000
Speaker 2: that as like, oh, you shouldn't do it. I love it.

454
00:23:57,000 --> 00:23:58,879
Speaker 2: I do it all over again. But like for me,

455
00:23:58,960 --> 00:24:01,120
Speaker 2: it was always about chasing greatness.

456
00:24:01,320 --> 00:24:03,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I can relate to that, and I do

457
00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:08,640
Speaker 1: understand it, and I don't think people understand. I think

458
00:24:08,680 --> 00:24:12,400
Speaker 1: it's so powerful that you're willing to share that because

459
00:24:12,480 --> 00:24:17,639
Speaker 1: people only see the successful beauty of sports, which a

460
00:24:17,680 --> 00:24:21,240
Speaker 1: lot and when it comes to men, it's the women,

461
00:24:21,760 --> 00:24:25,560
Speaker 1: it's the homes, it's the cars, it's all of these things.

462
00:24:25,560 --> 00:24:29,600
Speaker 1: It's the jewelry, and it's the things that don't really

463
00:24:29,680 --> 00:24:33,440
Speaker 1: matter and don't give us worth. But no one talks

464
00:24:33,480 --> 00:24:37,760
Speaker 1: about the darkness, and no one talks about the pain,

465
00:24:38,280 --> 00:24:44,640
Speaker 1: the isolation, the sacrifice. Like I truly believe this, we

466
00:24:44,640 --> 00:24:48,600
Speaker 1: were in a lot of ways. You're brainwashed to suffer. Yes,

467
00:24:49,240 --> 00:24:54,359
Speaker 1: you are absolutely, Like if I wasn't suffering, I wasn't

468
00:24:54,400 --> 00:25:00,000
Speaker 1: doing my job. And this is why so many people

469
00:25:00,280 --> 00:25:06,159
Speaker 1: in sports and entertainment turn to substance abuse, turn to depression,

470
00:25:06,680 --> 00:25:10,600
Speaker 1: turn because it is the amount you have to give

471
00:25:11,280 --> 00:25:16,120
Speaker 1: to be exceptional every single day, and when it fucking

472
00:25:16,200 --> 00:25:18,719
Speaker 1: slaps you in the nose, you have to choose to

473
00:25:18,720 --> 00:25:22,320
Speaker 1: do it all over again the next morning. And I

474
00:25:22,359 --> 00:25:25,119
Speaker 1: think about this because I didn't enjoy it either. I

475
00:25:25,160 --> 00:25:27,719
Speaker 1: don't miss the game, and I don't mean that in

476
00:25:27,760 --> 00:25:32,919
Speaker 1: a disrespectful way. It's like being chased, right, It's like

477
00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:36,280
Speaker 1: being chased by thousands of people. You can't slow down,

478
00:25:37,359 --> 00:25:41,359
Speaker 1: you can't cut corners. You have to keep running to

479
00:25:41,400 --> 00:25:46,399
Speaker 1: be the best because everyone's chomping at your heels. And

480
00:25:46,440 --> 00:25:49,920
Speaker 1: you get to a point where you're just fucking tired.

481
00:25:51,000 --> 00:25:55,760
Speaker 1: I just got so tired. I got tired of fighting.

482
00:25:56,240 --> 00:25:59,600
Speaker 1: I would literally wake up. I would wake up from

483
00:25:59,600 --> 00:26:03,360
Speaker 1: sleeping and think someone was working, Like while I was sleeping,

484
00:26:03,880 --> 00:26:06,919
Speaker 1: someone was working harder than me. What did you have

485
00:26:07,160 --> 00:26:11,640
Speaker 1: to unlearn? Because you talk about you know the sacrifices

486
00:26:11,680 --> 00:26:14,240
Speaker 1: you made, you know how you showed up to be

487
00:26:14,320 --> 00:26:17,760
Speaker 1: the best and even talk about your family and not

488
00:26:17,840 --> 00:26:21,439
Speaker 1: being able to What things did you have to unlearn

489
00:26:22,680 --> 00:26:24,920
Speaker 1: when you became like a normal citizen.

490
00:26:25,320 --> 00:26:30,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, yes, I mean you so eloquently expressed what we

491
00:26:30,600 --> 00:26:34,639
Speaker 2: both have experienced and felt. And you know, I'm a

492
00:26:34,840 --> 00:26:38,240
Speaker 2: I'm a fan of I'm an NBA fan. I'm a

493
00:26:38,240 --> 00:26:40,400
Speaker 2: soccer fan, but I'm an NBA fan first and foremost,

494
00:26:40,920 --> 00:26:43,200
Speaker 2: and I go to these games. I'm entertained, and I'm

495
00:26:43,200 --> 00:26:46,560
Speaker 2: so thankful to have this perspective, right because these these

496
00:26:46,600 --> 00:26:49,840
Speaker 2: guys at WNBA and women, but they danced to dance

497
00:26:49,880 --> 00:26:51,359
Speaker 2: on the court, on the lights, and it's great. And

498
00:26:51,440 --> 00:26:53,040
Speaker 2: You're like, I don't know what's going on at home

499
00:26:53,080 --> 00:26:54,640
Speaker 2: with them. I don't know what kind of I don't

500
00:26:54,680 --> 00:26:56,080
Speaker 2: know how well they slept last night. They got to

501
00:26:56,080 --> 00:26:57,680
Speaker 2: get on a plane and they got to they gotta

502
00:26:57,680 --> 00:27:00,520
Speaker 2: flyt to Sacramento right now, Like I'm going home, I'm chilling.

503
00:27:00,520 --> 00:27:03,879
Speaker 2: I've been entertained, right, and so you never see what

504
00:27:04,040 --> 00:27:05,879
Speaker 2: goes on behind the scenes, And I'm thankful that I

505
00:27:05,960 --> 00:27:08,679
Speaker 2: have I'm able to be compassionate to that. But I

506
00:27:08,680 --> 00:27:12,679
Speaker 2: think what I needed to unlearn most is dovetailing on

507
00:27:12,760 --> 00:27:16,320
Speaker 2: what we just talked about for me and other athletes

508
00:27:16,560 --> 00:27:19,240
Speaker 2: to be great, to be to be truly great, or

509
00:27:19,240 --> 00:27:22,119
Speaker 2: at least chase greatness and try and become the one percent.

510
00:27:23,680 --> 00:27:26,239
Speaker 2: Like you said that you always felt like you were

511
00:27:26,280 --> 00:27:30,200
Speaker 2: being chased, right, I felt that, And I also felt

512
00:27:30,480 --> 00:27:32,000
Speaker 2: because I played in the Premier League and because of

513
00:27:32,000 --> 00:27:36,399
Speaker 2: the way the tabloid media is, I always felt around

514
00:27:36,400 --> 00:27:39,160
Speaker 2: every corner someone had a knife and they were ready

515
00:27:39,160 --> 00:27:40,719
Speaker 2: to they were ready to jab it in me, right

516
00:27:40,720 --> 00:27:43,440
Speaker 2: because so I had just been I'd been stabbed in

517
00:27:43,520 --> 00:27:45,719
Speaker 2: jabs so many times that it was like, you know,

518
00:27:46,000 --> 00:27:49,520
Speaker 2: I can I can remember, and I truly mean this.

519
00:27:50,000 --> 00:27:52,480
Speaker 2: You know, you'd have this old granny and grandpa and

520
00:27:52,800 --> 00:27:56,880
Speaker 2: in the supermarket in Manchester and in that area you've

521
00:27:56,920 --> 00:28:00,119
Speaker 2: got City fans, Manchester United fans, Liverpool fans, whoever. And

522
00:28:00,119 --> 00:28:01,439
Speaker 2: I remember coming around the corner and they look at

523
00:28:01,440 --> 00:28:03,560
Speaker 2: me and they'd recognize me. They recognize every footballer in

524
00:28:03,600 --> 00:28:06,480
Speaker 2: our village or whatever, and I remember thinking they're gonna

525
00:28:06,480 --> 00:28:09,560
Speaker 2: say something. They always say something. It might be good

526
00:28:09,880 --> 00:28:11,919
Speaker 2: and it might be bad. But my initial thought was

527
00:28:12,040 --> 00:28:14,919
Speaker 2: they've recognized me. Get ready, they're gonna say something. What

528
00:28:14,960 --> 00:28:16,320
Speaker 2: are you going to say? Back, how are you going

529
00:28:16,359 --> 00:28:19,840
Speaker 2: to react? And that's like twenty four hours a day,

530
00:28:20,040 --> 00:28:23,199
Speaker 2: and so you then become hard, and you then become

531
00:28:23,720 --> 00:28:26,159
Speaker 2: prepared and ready to pull the trigger on a negative

532
00:28:26,200 --> 00:28:29,440
Speaker 2: response back to them, right, like, so it's negative all

533
00:28:29,480 --> 00:28:32,280
Speaker 2: the time. And again I ashon if I had to

534
00:28:32,280 --> 00:28:33,879
Speaker 2: do it all over again, I would. I would. I

535
00:28:34,640 --> 00:28:37,040
Speaker 2: had to. I had to go to some dark places

536
00:28:37,080 --> 00:28:40,560
Speaker 2: to get ready for games, both physically and mentally, prepared

537
00:28:40,640 --> 00:28:45,240
Speaker 2: for the backlash of fans, the opposing fans singing songs

538
00:28:45,240 --> 00:28:47,719
Speaker 2: about my Trette syndrome, my own fans. I can hear

539
00:28:47,760 --> 00:28:50,040
Speaker 2: the murmurs. So he's not good enough and he let

540
00:28:50,080 --> 00:28:53,320
Speaker 2: another goal in, and so like this constant, like I

541
00:28:53,760 --> 00:28:56,440
Speaker 2: tell the story all the time, Like David, I played

542
00:28:56,440 --> 00:28:58,760
Speaker 2: four hundred and fifteen times for everyon football club. It's

543
00:28:58,840 --> 00:29:02,320
Speaker 2: it's the love of my life. I can assure you, right,

544
00:29:02,320 --> 00:29:04,240
Speaker 2: And this is so sad to say, but there's the

545
00:29:04,280 --> 00:29:06,920
Speaker 2: truth in it. There were times he picked me. I

546
00:29:06,960 --> 00:29:08,560
Speaker 2: think I had a run of like almost two hundred

547
00:29:08,600 --> 00:29:12,200
Speaker 2: games consecutively. He picked me every weekend. And there was

548
00:29:12,240 --> 00:29:13,880
Speaker 2: so many weekends when I was like, put me out

549
00:29:13,880 --> 00:29:16,200
Speaker 2: of my misery, Like when you put the team sheet up.

550
00:29:16,760 --> 00:29:18,840
Speaker 2: I wouldn't even care today if my name wasn't on it, right,

551
00:29:18,840 --> 00:29:21,680
Speaker 2: And that sounds like a revelation and a hot take.

552
00:29:21,800 --> 00:29:24,560
Speaker 2: It wasn't. I was like, I was prepared, but I

553
00:29:24,600 --> 00:29:26,360
Speaker 2: was scared of death. I was scared to death to

554
00:29:26,400 --> 00:29:28,920
Speaker 2: go out there. You know. I can remember having an

555
00:29:28,960 --> 00:29:31,400
Speaker 2: injury at one point, and I played through everything, and

556
00:29:31,440 --> 00:29:34,120
Speaker 2: I just remember thinking, I went to the physios and saying,

557
00:29:34,400 --> 00:29:36,320
Speaker 2: I mean in chection, my knees hanging off, went to

558
00:29:36,320 --> 00:29:38,880
Speaker 2: my goalkeeper coach saying, I know he's gonna play me today,

559
00:29:38,880 --> 00:29:41,400
Speaker 2: but put a word. And I'm struggling, and I'm just

560
00:29:41,400 --> 00:29:44,240
Speaker 2: like desperately hoping he doesn't pick me that day. But

561
00:29:44,320 --> 00:29:46,280
Speaker 2: he did, and I went out and played and and

562
00:29:46,400 --> 00:29:49,719
Speaker 2: so you get into that negative mind space. Not negative

563
00:29:50,120 --> 00:29:51,360
Speaker 2: for me, it was a dark place. It was a

564
00:29:51,440 --> 00:29:53,640
Speaker 2: dark in order to compete at that level. I had

565
00:29:53,680 --> 00:29:57,920
Speaker 2: to I had to be you know, by by Thursday night.

566
00:29:58,640 --> 00:30:00,320
Speaker 2: Don't call it, don't text, don't ask me for anything.

567
00:30:00,360 --> 00:30:01,880
Speaker 2: Like it's no wonder I got divorced by the way

568
00:30:01,960 --> 00:30:04,160
Speaker 2: I'd said it all the time, like like the kids

569
00:30:04,160 --> 00:30:06,280
Speaker 2: need to be fed. Like do you really think I

570
00:30:06,280 --> 00:30:08,080
Speaker 2: was trying to make macaroni and cheese, Like I'm just

571
00:30:08,080 --> 00:30:10,440
Speaker 2: worried about Chelsea banging another five on me, you know,

572
00:30:10,520 --> 00:30:13,760
Speaker 2: like it was so it was so difficult. And then

573
00:30:13,760 --> 00:30:15,800
Speaker 2: when you remove yourself from the game, and you know,

574
00:30:15,840 --> 00:30:18,200
Speaker 2: I always talk about like, and I mean this, like

575
00:30:18,240 --> 00:30:21,160
Speaker 2: the bus didn't leave without me, right, meaning yeah, I

576
00:30:21,200 --> 00:30:22,560
Speaker 2: know it was a little behind, but I had something

577
00:30:22,560 --> 00:30:25,600
Speaker 2: else to do. And like, what bus ain't leaving. I

578
00:30:25,600 --> 00:30:27,520
Speaker 2: know there's thirty people on there, but it'll leave when I

579
00:30:27,520 --> 00:30:29,920
Speaker 2: get on it. Like that's like I had the biggest

580
00:30:29,920 --> 00:30:32,360
Speaker 2: god complex, and I think so many athletes doing it.

581
00:30:32,720 --> 00:30:38,800
Speaker 2: And so the transformation after came when I realized that like, yeah,

582
00:30:38,800 --> 00:30:42,160
Speaker 2: I had some clout from the game, but ultimately I

583
00:30:42,200 --> 00:30:44,000
Speaker 2: wanted more, like I wanted more for myself. It took

584
00:30:44,160 --> 00:30:45,840
Speaker 2: it took a while, but I was like, you can't.

585
00:30:45,840 --> 00:30:47,800
Speaker 2: You can't live life that way. Like that's what I

586
00:30:47,840 --> 00:30:51,000
Speaker 2: was saying that what truly made me successful was my mindset.

587
00:30:51,800 --> 00:30:55,040
Speaker 2: And after I was done playing, it was the biggest detriment.

588
00:30:55,160 --> 00:30:57,360
Speaker 2: You can't you can't take that into relationships. You can't

589
00:30:57,360 --> 00:30:59,600
Speaker 2: take that into friendships, can't take that into the business world.

590
00:30:59,600 --> 00:31:01,600
Speaker 2: I meant on parts of the business world. But I

591
00:31:01,640 --> 00:31:05,720
Speaker 2: had to truly like get down next to people and

592
00:31:05,880 --> 00:31:11,080
Speaker 2: carry water. And you know, even in my roles, even

593
00:31:11,120 --> 00:31:14,760
Speaker 2: in my roles now like with ownership and Houston Dash

594
00:31:14,800 --> 00:31:18,400
Speaker 2: and Dynamo, naturally my name goes in the door before

595
00:31:18,440 --> 00:31:20,560
Speaker 2: I do, right, So people seeing it like, oh, it's

596
00:31:20,600 --> 00:31:24,280
Speaker 2: Tim Howard, And really I don't matter. You matter. You're

597
00:31:24,320 --> 00:31:26,160
Speaker 2: the striker on the Dash, You're the striker on the

598
00:31:26,440 --> 00:31:28,960
Speaker 2: on the Dynamo. You matter. I don't matter. I'm here

599
00:31:29,000 --> 00:31:31,040
Speaker 2: to serve you that served the community, helped the club

600
00:31:31,080 --> 00:31:33,760
Speaker 2: grow so that you can be better. And so it's

601
00:31:33,800 --> 00:31:36,120
Speaker 2: not only relearning for me, it's also relearning for like

602
00:31:36,320 --> 00:31:38,960
Speaker 2: the people who I come in contact with and how

603
00:31:39,040 --> 00:31:42,160
Speaker 2: how I present myself and making sure that like the

604
00:31:42,320 --> 00:31:45,800
Speaker 2: humility comes first, that I can basically say that, I'm like,

605
00:31:46,120 --> 00:31:48,160
Speaker 2: this isn't about me taking a picture of Sig an autograph.

606
00:31:48,160 --> 00:31:50,680
Speaker 2: I'll do that for you all day long. So but

607
00:31:50,720 --> 00:31:52,760
Speaker 2: this is about me serving you in this role. And

608
00:31:52,800 --> 00:31:55,280
Speaker 2: that's a complete one eighty from what it's like as

609
00:31:55,280 --> 00:31:55,719
Speaker 2: a player.

610
00:31:57,200 --> 00:31:59,960
Speaker 1: This is wide open and I'm your host, Ashlyn Harre.

611
00:32:00,360 --> 00:32:08,400
Speaker 1: Thanks for listening. We'll be right back. It Really it's

612
00:32:08,640 --> 00:32:11,400
Speaker 1: it's such a good perspective, and I'm glad that you

613
00:32:11,720 --> 00:32:14,640
Speaker 1: started sharing a little bit about the tabloids, because I

614
00:32:14,680 --> 00:32:18,800
Speaker 1: don't think people realize the harm it does to people

615
00:32:19,800 --> 00:32:22,120
Speaker 1: and the doors it opens up in terms of the

616
00:32:22,160 --> 00:32:26,920
Speaker 1: hate and abuse. If people don't know, let me be

617
00:32:27,080 --> 00:32:32,360
Speaker 1: very clear, European soccer, especially the EPL, people live and

618
00:32:32,480 --> 00:32:36,040
Speaker 1: die by it. This is like generational like people grow

619
00:32:36,160 --> 00:32:41,400
Speaker 1: up and their parent, their grandparent, their grandparents parents, Like,

620
00:32:41,760 --> 00:32:48,320
Speaker 1: there's so much culture and history in the teams, in

621
00:32:48,360 --> 00:32:53,880
Speaker 1: the places they've been born raised, who they choose. The

622
00:32:54,120 --> 00:32:59,520
Speaker 1: depth is beyond I just I can't even compare it

623
00:32:59,520 --> 00:33:02,040
Speaker 1: to any American sports. I just really can't. And that's

624
00:33:02,080 --> 00:33:06,840
Speaker 1: just a fact. How hard was that for you coming

625
00:33:06,840 --> 00:33:12,680
Speaker 1: from America stepping into this, you know, literally the best

626
00:33:12,760 --> 00:33:18,200
Speaker 1: league in the world, best teams in the world, and

627
00:33:18,280 --> 00:33:23,320
Speaker 1: being a target constantly of the tabloids, and you know

628
00:33:23,520 --> 00:33:29,040
Speaker 1: you're about you know your divorce plays out. Meanwhile, you

629
00:33:29,080 --> 00:33:30,840
Speaker 1: have to show up and be a good teammate, which

630
00:33:30,840 --> 00:33:32,680
Speaker 1: is what you're talking about. You have to pick up

631
00:33:32,720 --> 00:33:35,560
Speaker 1: the water bottles on days you just want to quit

632
00:33:35,640 --> 00:33:40,960
Speaker 1: and give up. I'm curious how you've felt the ability

633
00:33:41,040 --> 00:33:46,400
Speaker 1: to continue. I wonder how much the media and the

634
00:33:46,440 --> 00:33:52,000
Speaker 1: press impacted your because your private life's your private life.

635
00:33:52,080 --> 00:33:56,800
Speaker 1: Him like, it is not like we're not You can

636
00:33:56,840 --> 00:33:59,200
Speaker 1: say whatever the fuck you want about me as a goalkeeper,

637
00:33:59,760 --> 00:34:01,960
Speaker 1: but you will not talk about my family and my

638
00:34:02,080 --> 00:34:05,680
Speaker 1: children and my choices off the field. But tabloids are

639
00:34:05,840 --> 00:34:09,040
Speaker 1: entitled too, and they know that's the place to hit

640
00:34:09,120 --> 00:34:12,919
Speaker 1: you the hardest. And I'm curious being in that type

641
00:34:12,960 --> 00:34:16,719
Speaker 1: of space, being so far away from your safety, which

642
00:34:16,719 --> 00:34:18,799
Speaker 1: are your people? How'd you deal with it?

643
00:34:19,440 --> 00:34:22,279
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a brilliant question because what I had to

644
00:34:22,360 --> 00:34:26,840
Speaker 2: learn right away is like when I got over, I

645
00:34:26,880 --> 00:34:29,680
Speaker 2: was twenty two years old, right flying high. And what

646
00:34:29,760 --> 00:34:31,680
Speaker 2: I learned very quick quickly is like they don't love

647
00:34:31,680 --> 00:34:34,799
Speaker 2: you like that, you know, like in America and when

648
00:34:34,840 --> 00:34:37,920
Speaker 2: not to say age, but generationally we are And you know,

649
00:34:38,000 --> 00:34:41,799
Speaker 2: I came from an MLS started in nineteen ninety six.

650
00:34:41,960 --> 00:34:44,680
Speaker 2: You know, I left eight years later. You know, I

651
00:34:44,680 --> 00:34:46,879
Speaker 2: think my first season was ninety eight, but I left

652
00:34:46,880 --> 00:34:49,480
Speaker 2: a couple of years later, and MLS back then was

653
00:34:49,480 --> 00:34:52,400
Speaker 2: one point. Oh. Right, we're playing in NFL stadiums, So

654
00:34:52,440 --> 00:34:55,040
Speaker 2: you have a seventy thousand seat stadium with six thousand

655
00:34:55,080 --> 00:34:58,760
Speaker 2: people in it. It's a primitive league, it's a fledging league.

656
00:34:58,840 --> 00:35:03,560
Speaker 2: And everybody loved me. Everybody loved everybody. Everybody loved all this.

657
00:35:04,000 --> 00:35:05,680
Speaker 2: They were just happy to have soccer. Right. So you

658
00:35:05,719 --> 00:35:07,800
Speaker 2: go to New York Metro Stars, who are now the

659
00:35:07,840 --> 00:35:11,360
Speaker 2: Red Bulls, go to play Kansas City, and everyone wants autograph.

660
00:35:11,400 --> 00:35:13,319
Speaker 2: They don't hate you, they're just excited that there's a

661
00:35:13,360 --> 00:35:17,239
Speaker 2: soccer game going on. And so here's here's jolly old

662
00:35:17,280 --> 00:35:20,439
Speaker 2: American going over to England and it's like, they don't

663
00:35:20,480 --> 00:35:23,279
Speaker 2: care if they like they hate you. They don't even

664
00:35:23,320 --> 00:35:25,160
Speaker 2: know you. They hate you. You played for a red team.

665
00:35:25,200 --> 00:35:26,840
Speaker 2: Well I don't support that Red team. I hate you,

666
00:35:27,160 --> 00:35:30,680
Speaker 2: and and so it was. It was a learning curve

667
00:35:30,680 --> 00:35:32,719
Speaker 2: and I can talk about it very easily today, but

668
00:35:32,760 --> 00:35:37,160
Speaker 2: at the time it filled me with rage and hate

669
00:35:37,160 --> 00:35:40,200
Speaker 2: and misunderstanding. And I didn't quite get why. Like I

670
00:35:40,239 --> 00:35:42,200
Speaker 2: didn't do anything that bad, like I let a Goland, Like,

671
00:35:42,200 --> 00:35:46,040
Speaker 2: what was it that bad? Like? And so as you said,

672
00:35:46,360 --> 00:35:50,799
Speaker 2: letting a Goland goes goes or leads to he's not

673
00:35:50,920 --> 00:35:53,719
Speaker 2: very good, leads to he sucks, leads to let'say, we

674
00:35:53,800 --> 00:35:55,759
Speaker 2: can find in this private life, and so all of

675
00:35:55,800 --> 00:35:57,839
Speaker 2: a sudden, I'm like, wait a minute, this spiral out

676
00:35:57,840 --> 00:36:00,239
Speaker 2: of control quick. And so the only way that I

677
00:36:00,320 --> 00:36:03,640
Speaker 2: knew how was to rain things back in was again,

678
00:36:04,000 --> 00:36:08,120
Speaker 2: circle those wagons. And this is the birth of that mentality,

679
00:36:08,160 --> 00:36:13,799
Speaker 2: that dark mentality of not really allowing too many people in,

680
00:36:14,440 --> 00:36:16,960
Speaker 2: not trusting a lot of people, keeping my circle as

681
00:36:17,080 --> 00:36:25,320
Speaker 2: tight as humanly possible, and and not trusting. And once I,

682
00:36:25,400 --> 00:36:28,759
Speaker 2: once I was able to trim that fat and get

683
00:36:28,840 --> 00:36:32,680
Speaker 2: the circle that I needed, I was okay. But that

684
00:36:32,800 --> 00:36:36,239
Speaker 2: took a number of years because people like to said,

685
00:36:36,280 --> 00:36:38,279
Speaker 2: are people pleasers? I think ninety percent of human beings

686
00:36:38,280 --> 00:36:40,360
Speaker 2: are people pleasers, right, And so you're just trying to

687
00:36:40,400 --> 00:36:43,640
Speaker 2: like please a media and please your coach. But I

688
00:36:43,640 --> 00:36:46,000
Speaker 2: got to a point where I'm like, nah, I'm gonna

689
00:36:46,000 --> 00:36:49,200
Speaker 2: please myself. And by pleasing myself, I'm going to perform really, really,

690
00:36:49,200 --> 00:36:54,000
Speaker 2: really well, and I'll be the judge. My goalkeeper, coach

691
00:36:54,120 --> 00:36:56,839
Speaker 2: be the judge. My best friend who knows soccer will

692
00:36:56,840 --> 00:36:59,799
Speaker 2: be the judge of how I performed, and I'll use

693
00:36:59,800 --> 00:37:02,480
Speaker 2: that as my barometer. But it's a tough it's a

694
00:37:02,480 --> 00:37:05,120
Speaker 2: tough place to get to and quite Frankly. An add

695
00:37:05,160 --> 00:37:07,080
Speaker 2: on to that is not many people make it out

696
00:37:07,080 --> 00:37:08,880
Speaker 2: of it. They just don't, you know, they don't when

697
00:37:08,920 --> 00:37:13,880
Speaker 2: you're when you look at, particularly in the men's game careers,

698
00:37:13,920 --> 00:37:17,600
Speaker 2: being front loaded with money, seventeen eighteen, nineteen year olds

699
00:37:17,600 --> 00:37:22,160
Speaker 2: making the majority of their money at that age. Also

700
00:37:22,239 --> 00:37:24,920
Speaker 2: then going into a peer group that's not really with

701
00:37:24,960 --> 00:37:27,759
Speaker 2: their peers. They're with thirty year old men, thirty five

702
00:37:27,800 --> 00:37:29,720
Speaker 2: year old men, right that they have nothing in common

703
00:37:29,760 --> 00:37:32,120
Speaker 2: with other than a soccer ball, and they try and

704
00:37:32,200 --> 00:37:33,560
Speaker 2: keep up with them, and they try and buy the

705
00:37:33,600 --> 00:37:35,640
Speaker 2: Lamborghinis and then the range drovers and all of that.

706
00:37:35,680 --> 00:37:37,359
Speaker 2: And so you're trying to keep up with your peers

707
00:37:37,400 --> 00:37:42,760
Speaker 2: which actually aren't your peers. And then you go into well,

708
00:37:42,840 --> 00:37:44,239
Speaker 2: we're your friends, and if you don't take care of

709
00:37:44,239 --> 00:37:45,719
Speaker 2: your friends, you're a sellout. So you got to do

710
00:37:45,760 --> 00:37:47,680
Speaker 2: some of this. I mean, I play with guys, you know.

711
00:37:47,760 --> 00:37:49,719
Speaker 2: I play with a young French kid I remember, and

712
00:37:49,719 --> 00:37:52,000
Speaker 2: I won't name him, but he came over playing in

713
00:37:52,000 --> 00:37:54,360
Speaker 2: the premierly making a good living. He was broke. He

714
00:37:54,440 --> 00:37:57,640
Speaker 2: was broke. You send them money to gangsters back in Paris.

715
00:37:57,760 --> 00:38:00,200
Speaker 2: He's betting. He just never made it out, you know,

716
00:38:00,280 --> 00:38:01,680
Speaker 2: you can never get a grip of it, and so

717
00:38:02,480 --> 00:38:05,120
Speaker 2: and so it's really it's really difficult because you're just

718
00:38:05,120 --> 00:38:07,799
Speaker 2: trying to please so many, so many people. But for me,

719
00:38:07,880 --> 00:38:10,759
Speaker 2: it was again, I'm thankful, humble beginnings. I was raised

720
00:38:10,800 --> 00:38:13,520
Speaker 2: the right way. I had a good agent who wasn't slimy,

721
00:38:13,960 --> 00:38:17,720
Speaker 2: who wasn't out for himself, who is incredibly humble and

722
00:38:17,880 --> 00:38:19,960
Speaker 2: took on the role of mentor just as much as

723
00:38:19,960 --> 00:38:24,959
Speaker 2: he did agents. So thankful, lucky, appreciative of that I had.

724
00:38:25,080 --> 00:38:25,920
Speaker 2: I had my circle.

725
00:38:26,320 --> 00:38:31,120
Speaker 1: I love that, and I I can't imagine like as

726
00:38:31,120 --> 00:38:33,560
Speaker 1: someone who cares for you and knows how present you

727
00:38:33,600 --> 00:38:37,200
Speaker 1: are as a dad when you talk about that, because

728
00:38:37,239 --> 00:38:40,480
Speaker 1: what people don't realize is the sacrifices for these fans

729
00:38:40,880 --> 00:38:43,920
Speaker 1: that torch us so fucking quickly and put all of

730
00:38:43,960 --> 00:38:47,120
Speaker 1: our worth on a sport, which is just what we do.

731
00:38:47,239 --> 00:38:51,680
Speaker 1: It's not who we are. You still, you know, you

732
00:38:51,760 --> 00:38:55,759
Speaker 1: go through this really tough time in your life, You

733
00:38:55,800 --> 00:38:58,320
Speaker 1: get divorced, and the worst part is is your kids

734
00:38:58,920 --> 00:39:02,759
Speaker 1: go back to the States, right and they moved to Memphis.

735
00:39:03,520 --> 00:39:07,000
Speaker 1: People people don't know that side, and you don't talk

736
00:39:07,040 --> 00:39:10,480
Speaker 1: about that side because this is the life you chose,

737
00:39:11,360 --> 00:39:13,839
Speaker 1: and people don't see that, they don't get it, they

738
00:39:13,840 --> 00:39:16,800
Speaker 1: don't understand it. And when they're so quick to torch everything,

739
00:39:18,480 --> 00:39:21,680
Speaker 1: I'm sitting here choosing to do this life that is

740
00:39:21,760 --> 00:39:26,719
Speaker 1: fucking hard, Yeah, and a lot of times unbearable. While

741
00:39:26,760 --> 00:39:30,080
Speaker 1: my children are in a different country, who I'm not

742
00:39:30,120 --> 00:39:33,839
Speaker 1: seeing every day, who I'm not watching them grow up.

743
00:39:36,400 --> 00:39:39,640
Speaker 1: I'm interested to know how that affected you and how

744
00:39:39,719 --> 00:39:40,760
Speaker 1: much you loved the game.

745
00:39:41,360 --> 00:39:43,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's such a it's such a there's so many

746
00:39:43,719 --> 00:39:45,799
Speaker 2: layers to that, you know. When I when I think

747
00:39:45,800 --> 00:39:49,280
Speaker 2: about my divorce and that time, it was so difficult

748
00:39:49,280 --> 00:39:51,440
Speaker 2: on both the kids and myself and of course my

749
00:39:51,560 --> 00:39:55,440
Speaker 2: ex and I remember I remember being in soccer saving.

750
00:39:55,440 --> 00:40:00,640
Speaker 2: I remember being around the training ground all day. Wouldn't sleep,

751
00:40:00,640 --> 00:40:02,759
Speaker 2: you know, barely sleep, and driving and training ground, get

752
00:40:02,760 --> 00:40:05,239
Speaker 2: my breakfast and coffee, and talk to the lunch ladies

753
00:40:05,280 --> 00:40:07,160
Speaker 2: in the cafeteria, who are basically like gods at any

754
00:40:07,160 --> 00:40:10,600
Speaker 2: football football ground, and they're like the mother hens, you know,

755
00:40:10,640 --> 00:40:13,840
Speaker 2: like keeple just keep us all in check. And I'd

756
00:40:13,960 --> 00:40:17,799
Speaker 2: go training and then I'd do my rehab and get

757
00:40:17,800 --> 00:40:21,000
Speaker 2: my massages and maybe go for a swim and everybody's gone.

758
00:40:21,040 --> 00:40:22,839
Speaker 2: Then I go up and have lunch, maybe like five

759
00:40:22,840 --> 00:40:25,120
Speaker 2: o'clock afternooner like why don't you go home? Like no,

760
00:40:25,640 --> 00:40:27,839
Speaker 2: I mean go home, but the house is empty. My

761
00:40:27,840 --> 00:40:30,480
Speaker 2: mom own family's here, right, and so like I swear,

762
00:40:30,520 --> 00:40:34,040
Speaker 2: and that sounds funny, like I spent hours at the

763
00:40:34,080 --> 00:40:37,719
Speaker 2: training ground, like like making sure that I left a

764
00:40:37,760 --> 00:40:39,960
Speaker 2: little bit before the manager, but but not not much

765
00:40:40,080 --> 00:40:42,560
Speaker 2: like I was always there because that was like my

766
00:40:42,680 --> 00:40:45,919
Speaker 2: home and and my safety net. But the mentality piece

767
00:40:46,000 --> 00:40:48,600
Speaker 2: is interesting. I have a friend who's a world class

768
00:40:48,640 --> 00:40:51,319
Speaker 2: boxer in Liverpool's name is Tony Bell you and he

769
00:40:51,320 --> 00:40:53,399
Speaker 2: would he's an Everton fan and we got a chance

770
00:40:53,440 --> 00:40:56,120
Speaker 2: to know him really well, and I remember like he

771
00:40:56,280 --> 00:40:58,200
Speaker 2: shed perspective because when you're in it, you don't know

772
00:40:58,280 --> 00:41:00,960
Speaker 2: until you, like until other people you're like, oh okay, okay,

773
00:41:01,000 --> 00:41:03,720
Speaker 2: like it's gonna be okay. And I remember him saying

774
00:41:04,520 --> 00:41:07,480
Speaker 2: he was in a fight. He was bruising batter and

775
00:41:07,480 --> 00:41:09,240
Speaker 2: it was it was. It was in between the eleventh

776
00:41:09,280 --> 00:41:11,560
Speaker 2: and twelfth round and it's trained to put his stool

777
00:41:11,680 --> 00:41:13,760
Speaker 2: out and he's getting a cut, he's getting cuts managed

778
00:41:13,760 --> 00:41:16,080
Speaker 2: to his face. He's got ic and he's got one

779
00:41:16,160 --> 00:41:18,200
Speaker 2: round to be world champion and I'm getting goosebumps telling

780
00:41:18,200 --> 00:41:21,479
Speaker 2: the story and he's like Tim we say, we say

781
00:41:21,560 --> 00:41:23,919
Speaker 2: like after the fact, like yeah, I did it because

782
00:41:23,960 --> 00:41:25,520
Speaker 2: my kids are watching. I did it because my family.

783
00:41:25,560 --> 00:41:27,680
Speaker 2: He's like, f that bro. He's like, I got off

784
00:41:27,719 --> 00:41:30,200
Speaker 2: that stool when I could barely walk because I wanted

785
00:41:30,239 --> 00:41:32,600
Speaker 2: to be world champion. I did it for me. And

786
00:41:32,680 --> 00:41:35,200
Speaker 2: like he's like, is it selfish? Yeah? Does it sound

787
00:41:35,239 --> 00:41:36,440
Speaker 2: really great when I say like I did it for

788
00:41:36,480 --> 00:41:38,640
Speaker 2: my kids? Afterward? Yeah, He's like the truth of the

789
00:41:38,640 --> 00:41:41,000
Speaker 2: matter is I did it because I wanted to be

790
00:41:41,000 --> 00:41:43,479
Speaker 2: great and no one else could know, no one else

791
00:41:43,520 --> 00:41:45,719
Speaker 2: could get me or propel me there. And I just

792
00:41:45,760 --> 00:41:48,840
Speaker 2: remember thinking like yeah, like that was it. Like I

793
00:41:48,920 --> 00:41:51,480
Speaker 2: circled the wagons, I got off that stool and I

794
00:41:51,520 --> 00:41:56,400
Speaker 2: went in and grind every day because I was chasing

795
00:41:56,480 --> 00:41:58,440
Speaker 2: greatness and I was doing it relentlessly. And it is

796
00:41:58,480 --> 00:42:00,840
Speaker 2: a drug. And for those who haven't ever had the

797
00:42:00,880 --> 00:42:05,399
Speaker 2: opportunity to do it, that drive that fear, like fear,

798
00:42:05,600 --> 00:42:07,680
Speaker 2: fear feels like a bad thing, and it is most

799
00:42:07,680 --> 00:42:09,959
Speaker 2: times in life, but like that fear is a drug.

800
00:42:10,000 --> 00:42:13,600
Speaker 2: That adrenaline is a drug. The desire that chase is

801
00:42:13,600 --> 00:42:16,480
Speaker 2: a drug, and that's what like you can never mimic,

802
00:42:17,280 --> 00:42:20,480
Speaker 2: and so like for me, even though I was going

803
00:42:20,520 --> 00:42:24,920
Speaker 2: through this hellish period in my life, I still was

804
00:42:25,200 --> 00:42:27,880
Speaker 2: able to find that like that was that was my

805
00:42:27,960 --> 00:42:30,920
Speaker 2: north star, Like had I not had the competition or

806
00:42:31,840 --> 00:42:33,839
Speaker 2: I was spiral out of control, like my north star

807
00:42:34,040 --> 00:42:39,400
Speaker 2: was like, Okay, I missed my kids beyond belief, crying

808
00:42:39,440 --> 00:42:41,360
Speaker 2: myself to sleep while they're crying themselves to sleep on

809
00:42:41,400 --> 00:42:46,000
Speaker 2: the phone. But the one thing that continues to carry me,

810
00:42:46,040 --> 00:42:49,520
Speaker 2: like on a daily basis is being able to compete.

811
00:42:49,800 --> 00:42:52,040
Speaker 2: Because basically what I've learned, what I had learned to

812
00:42:52,080 --> 00:42:53,719
Speaker 2: do by that point, and I was probably about thirty

813
00:42:53,760 --> 00:42:56,680
Speaker 2: years old, was I had the ability to for moments

814
00:42:56,760 --> 00:42:59,960
Speaker 2: shut everything out, not driving, driving in I thought about everything,

815
00:43:01,000 --> 00:43:03,840
Speaker 2: not tying my boots, thought about everything. But when I

816
00:43:03,840 --> 00:43:05,680
Speaker 2: cross the line and the balls coming at me and

817
00:43:05,719 --> 00:43:09,120
Speaker 2: I'm directing traffic, and I was locked in the zone,

818
00:43:09,680 --> 00:43:11,400
Speaker 2: and I was able to get my mind to that

819
00:43:11,440 --> 00:43:13,920
Speaker 2: place for ninety minutes or for two hours of training,

820
00:43:14,239 --> 00:43:16,239
Speaker 2: and then training stopped, and that's why I didn't go

821
00:43:16,280 --> 00:43:17,600
Speaker 2: home because I was like, I don't want to go

822
00:43:17,640 --> 00:43:19,360
Speaker 2: home and think about it. I want to talk to somebody,

823
00:43:19,360 --> 00:43:21,680
Speaker 2: and I want to, you know, chat to my coaches,

824
00:43:21,719 --> 00:43:23,759
Speaker 2: and I want to do anything other than think. And

825
00:43:23,840 --> 00:43:26,759
Speaker 2: so the game at that point in time saved me

826
00:43:26,800 --> 00:43:27,240
Speaker 2: for sure.

827
00:43:27,840 --> 00:43:31,840
Speaker 1: I love that you. You have this incredible career at Everton.

828
00:43:33,719 --> 00:43:35,919
Speaker 1: I think about watching you at the World Cup when

829
00:43:35,960 --> 00:43:39,360
Speaker 1: you you still hold the record of the most saves

830
00:43:39,800 --> 00:43:42,240
Speaker 1: against Belgium. Was it fifteen, fifteen or sixteen?

831
00:43:43,680 --> 00:43:46,680
Speaker 2: I'll I'll take sixty, but they say one of the two.

832
00:43:46,760 --> 00:43:50,840
Speaker 1: And it's interesting because that is really everyone talks about it,

833
00:43:50,920 --> 00:43:56,560
Speaker 1: and I know your personality and what people don't realize

834
00:43:56,600 --> 00:43:58,239
Speaker 1: is we don't give a shit how we perform if

835
00:43:58,280 --> 00:44:01,680
Speaker 1: we don't win. Yeah, right, It's like you had a

836
00:44:01,719 --> 00:44:05,080
Speaker 1: great game but you didn't win. But so I'm interested,

837
00:44:05,160 --> 00:44:09,000
Speaker 1: how did you handle that moment because it went viral everywhere.

838
00:44:09,360 --> 00:44:11,839
Speaker 1: I mean, when we have a term in sports as

839
00:44:11,880 --> 00:44:15,200
Speaker 1: a goalkeeper that you stood on your head, I mean

840
00:44:16,400 --> 00:44:19,359
Speaker 1: nothing could get past you. Even though you didn't win

841
00:44:19,400 --> 00:44:23,239
Speaker 1: the game. That was one of the most dominant performance

842
00:44:23,320 --> 00:44:27,200
Speaker 1: of all time. What's your perspective on it. I'm curious

843
00:44:27,200 --> 00:44:30,440
Speaker 1: for someone who ticks the way you, who is never settled.

844
00:44:30,480 --> 00:44:34,440
Speaker 1: Who nothing is ever good enough. How does that feel

845
00:44:34,480 --> 00:44:34,680
Speaker 1: for you?

846
00:44:35,160 --> 00:44:41,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a special moment to me. It, you know,

847
00:44:41,200 --> 00:44:44,680
Speaker 2: to shed light on it, It's like we didn't win,

848
00:44:44,760 --> 00:44:48,360
Speaker 2: but I put in a performance to help my teammates

849
00:44:49,480 --> 00:44:51,840
Speaker 2: win a football match in a game we weren't supposed

850
00:44:51,840 --> 00:44:55,480
Speaker 2: to win. And if there's anything short of a win,

851
00:44:55,640 --> 00:44:58,000
Speaker 2: that's it. I mean. The way that me and my

852
00:44:58,040 --> 00:45:03,000
Speaker 2: brothers performed that night against Belgium was epic, and we

853
00:45:03,080 --> 00:45:06,120
Speaker 2: had one or two opportunities and extra time to tie

854
00:45:06,160 --> 00:45:08,160
Speaker 2: and bring into penalties. It wasn't meant to be, but

855
00:45:08,200 --> 00:45:10,120
Speaker 2: we were never meant to be in that game. And

856
00:45:10,160 --> 00:45:13,080
Speaker 2: the fact that the eleven of us were out there

857
00:45:13,280 --> 00:45:16,120
Speaker 2: on our own, fighting for each other, that was special.

858
00:45:16,160 --> 00:45:20,279
Speaker 2: And the game, you know, the game itself, sports is

859
00:45:20,360 --> 00:45:24,839
Speaker 2: so freaking weird. I remember I was in my prime.

860
00:45:24,880 --> 00:45:26,920
Speaker 2: I was thirty five, and I had a good season

861
00:45:26,920 --> 00:45:28,560
Speaker 2: in the Premier League. And like the fact that I

862
00:45:28,600 --> 00:45:30,680
Speaker 2: played really well in the group stages and the Belgium

863
00:45:30,719 --> 00:45:33,680
Speaker 2: game looking back as no surprise because it was it

864
00:45:33,719 --> 00:45:35,520
Speaker 2: was when I was supposed to perform the best that

865
00:45:35,719 --> 00:45:37,839
Speaker 2: if you look at a goalkeeper or a player's career

866
00:45:37,840 --> 00:45:40,200
Speaker 2: but a goalkeepers career, like that was the moment twenty ten,

867
00:45:40,480 --> 00:45:42,040
Speaker 2: two and six. I didn't play twenty and ten. I

868
00:45:42,040 --> 00:45:44,759
Speaker 2: was a little bit young and fresh, but that was

869
00:45:44,760 --> 00:45:46,759
Speaker 2: my prime two on fourteen and so I did it

870
00:45:46,800 --> 00:45:49,839
Speaker 2: and I was I was happy about that. I think

871
00:45:49,880 --> 00:45:53,280
Speaker 2: where initially I was, and I think you can appreciate

872
00:45:53,320 --> 00:45:58,200
Speaker 2: this initially, like it broke records of memes and it

873
00:45:58,280 --> 00:46:01,239
Speaker 2: was like I was now and everybody's consciousness and I

874
00:46:01,239 --> 00:46:04,400
Speaker 2: remember thinking like there was this really weird, stupid and

875
00:46:04,480 --> 00:46:06,239
Speaker 2: very few people can get it. I remember thinking, like,

876
00:46:06,600 --> 00:46:08,560
Speaker 2: you know, you just recognizing what I'm doing, like I've

877
00:46:08,560 --> 00:46:10,000
Speaker 2: been doing this thing in the Premier league for years,

878
00:46:10,000 --> 00:46:11,720
Speaker 2: Like where was my flowers? Then I know that sounds

879
00:46:11,719 --> 00:46:13,759
Speaker 2: a arrogant and selfish, but I'm like, you watched one

880
00:46:13,760 --> 00:46:15,960
Speaker 2: game in a World Cup and now like you're a fan,

881
00:46:16,000 --> 00:46:17,799
Speaker 2: I'm like, I've been doing this for a long time

882
00:46:17,840 --> 00:46:21,160
Speaker 2: at a high level. But that slowly or sorry, quickly

883
00:46:21,520 --> 00:46:26,440
Speaker 2: turned to realizing that like I've had a lot of moments,

884
00:46:27,120 --> 00:46:32,800
Speaker 2: great moments, but not everyone gets that singular shining moment

885
00:46:32,920 --> 00:46:36,480
Speaker 2: to where you know, I talked about the final whistle

886
00:46:36,520 --> 00:46:38,279
Speaker 2: for me blue, like it was over and I have

887
00:46:38,400 --> 00:46:40,680
Speaker 2: nothing more on the pitch to give to the game.

888
00:46:40,719 --> 00:46:43,919
Speaker 2: And I think for me now, I have a connectivity

889
00:46:43,960 --> 00:46:48,400
Speaker 2: with so many soccer people, fans and otherwise that always

890
00:46:48,440 --> 00:46:52,000
Speaker 2: reflect that one game. So I could be in the supermarket,

891
00:46:52,040 --> 00:46:54,040
Speaker 2: I can be in the airport, I can be anywhere

892
00:46:54,400 --> 00:46:56,160
Speaker 2: and people will come up to me and reference that

893
00:46:56,200 --> 00:46:58,120
Speaker 2: game and want to talk about where they were and

894
00:46:58,200 --> 00:47:00,440
Speaker 2: share that, you know, I was in the parking Chicago,

895
00:47:00,480 --> 00:47:01,920
Speaker 2: or I was with my boys in the pub or

896
00:47:02,040 --> 00:47:04,319
Speaker 2: whatever it was, and I'm like, that's cool, man, Like

897
00:47:04,360 --> 00:47:07,040
Speaker 2: I like, I now have a better appreciation of what

898
00:47:07,080 --> 00:47:10,840
Speaker 2: that game meant like for my career and for my

899
00:47:11,040 --> 00:47:15,400
Speaker 2: interaction with my soccer community throughout the world, throughout throughout

900
00:47:15,440 --> 00:47:18,840
Speaker 2: America in particular, and I'm just really thankful. And you know,

901
00:47:18,920 --> 00:47:22,719
Speaker 2: as as for the game itself, it was I talked

902
00:47:22,760 --> 00:47:25,200
Speaker 2: to I think I talked to Jeremy Shapp after the game.

903
00:47:25,239 --> 00:47:26,560
Speaker 2: He was interviewing you. I think he was in an

904
00:47:26,600 --> 00:47:28,479
Speaker 2: interview and he said he asked me about the record.

905
00:47:28,520 --> 00:47:30,399
Speaker 2: I was like, what record? You know, I didn't really

906
00:47:30,440 --> 00:47:32,960
Speaker 2: know what that meant. We lost. I was exhausted. I

907
00:47:32,960 --> 00:47:35,719
Speaker 2: would just talk to some of my buddies and and

908
00:47:35,800 --> 00:47:39,360
Speaker 2: I just remember thinking like, wow, I had no idea.

909
00:47:39,440 --> 00:47:42,120
Speaker 2: And as a as a kid, I know people debate

910
00:47:42,160 --> 00:47:44,799
Speaker 2: there's only one go it's Michael Jordan. But we there's

911
00:47:44,800 --> 00:47:46,600
Speaker 2: plenty of time to talk about that. And he talked

912
00:47:46,600 --> 00:47:49,080
Speaker 2: about being in the zone and no one in sports

913
00:47:49,120 --> 00:47:51,560
Speaker 2: had ever heard what that meant or knew what that meant.

914
00:47:51,880 --> 00:47:54,279
Speaker 2: And I think that was early nineties, and he said

915
00:47:54,320 --> 00:47:57,320
Speaker 2: I was just in the zone. And he further explained

916
00:47:57,360 --> 00:48:00,920
Speaker 2: like things just slowed down and and it was like

917
00:48:00,960 --> 00:48:04,000
Speaker 2: slow motion. He was moving freely, but everything else was

918
00:48:04,040 --> 00:48:07,360
Speaker 2: in slow motion. And I remember that game, being in

919
00:48:07,400 --> 00:48:10,400
Speaker 2: the goal and we were wear in white and playing Belgium.

920
00:48:10,440 --> 00:48:12,960
Speaker 2: They were red, and I remember red blurs and blobs,

921
00:48:12,960 --> 00:48:16,920
Speaker 2: and I remember some sort of noise. I definitely remember

922
00:48:16,920 --> 00:48:20,120
Speaker 2: the smell of the grass, but I don't remember saves.

923
00:48:20,160 --> 00:48:24,560
Speaker 2: I don't remember actions. You know, I've never watched the

924
00:48:24,600 --> 00:48:28,040
Speaker 2: game back. I've seen highlights, of course, but it was

925
00:48:28,280 --> 00:48:31,680
Speaker 2: really a strange feeling to be in that zone because

926
00:48:31,719 --> 00:48:34,560
Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, that's a that's a fictional, made up thing,

927
00:48:34,800 --> 00:48:37,200
Speaker 2: and so you actually are thrust into it, like whoa,

928
00:48:37,280 --> 00:48:39,799
Speaker 2: that's a that's a place where you can physically be

929
00:48:40,520 --> 00:48:42,799
Speaker 2: and you know, and from the goalkeeper standpoint, I love

930
00:48:42,840 --> 00:48:44,840
Speaker 2: that I'm sitting here with you. Like, people asked me

931
00:48:44,880 --> 00:48:48,600
Speaker 2: what that game was like, and I remember saying, like,

932
00:48:49,480 --> 00:48:52,200
Speaker 2: as a goalkeeper, your job is to keep a clean sheet.

933
00:48:52,520 --> 00:48:54,600
Speaker 2: And then it's a numbers game. If you conceed one goal,

934
00:48:54,640 --> 00:48:56,560
Speaker 2: your job is to only concede one goal. You can

935
00:48:56,600 --> 00:48:58,960
Speaker 2: see two goals, like, it's not like, oh shocks right,

936
00:48:59,400 --> 00:49:01,160
Speaker 2: and so if you can see two goals, your job

937
00:49:01,239 --> 00:49:02,680
Speaker 2: is to not worry about the fact I didn't keep

938
00:49:02,680 --> 00:49:04,520
Speaker 2: it clean sheeted, to make sure you don't can see

939
00:49:04,520 --> 00:49:06,479
Speaker 2: the third right, Like, it's just a simple numbers game.

940
00:49:06,760 --> 00:49:09,719
Speaker 2: So this concept of like the saves started adding up

941
00:49:09,760 --> 00:49:11,239
Speaker 2: and I was like, yeah, for me, it wasn't about

942
00:49:11,280 --> 00:49:13,600
Speaker 2: to save. So I was like, why did Kevin de

943
00:49:13,640 --> 00:49:16,040
Speaker 2: Bruyna get in on the angle? I need to fix this.

944
00:49:16,080 --> 00:49:17,440
Speaker 2: I need to talk more to the center back, I

945
00:49:17,480 --> 00:49:18,719
Speaker 2: need to pull the left back, and I need to

946
00:49:18,719 --> 00:49:21,440
Speaker 2: figure out something. So my mind is constantly only how

947
00:49:21,440 --> 00:49:23,040
Speaker 2: do I direct this traffic? How do I stop the

948
00:49:23,080 --> 00:49:25,440
Speaker 2: next one from coming? The fact that there was sixteen

949
00:49:25,480 --> 00:49:28,600
Speaker 2: saves is epic, but I was trying to make sure

950
00:49:28,640 --> 00:49:30,640
Speaker 2: that one didn't turn into two or eight saves didn't

951
00:49:30,640 --> 00:49:33,399
Speaker 2: turn into nine, which it ended up doing. But from

952
00:49:33,440 --> 00:49:35,880
Speaker 2: a psychological standpoint, you know as well as I do,

953
00:49:36,120 --> 00:49:39,359
Speaker 2: you're not even Your only focus is those like six

954
00:49:39,440 --> 00:49:42,839
Speaker 2: players in front of you trying to organize them, and

955
00:49:42,880 --> 00:49:44,879
Speaker 2: that takes on a life of itself. So I don't

956
00:49:44,880 --> 00:49:47,399
Speaker 2: even remember much of the game other than you know,

957
00:49:47,640 --> 00:49:49,080
Speaker 2: me be rating and yelling at a few of my

958
00:49:49,120 --> 00:49:50,759
Speaker 2: players and then trying to hype them up. That's what

959
00:49:50,840 --> 00:49:51,360
Speaker 2: we exactly.

960
00:49:51,520 --> 00:49:55,120
Speaker 1: That is exactly what And you nail it there, Tim,

961
00:49:55,200 --> 00:49:59,719
Speaker 1: because you are playing chess like your job is to

962
00:49:59,800 --> 00:50:02,719
Speaker 1: move of all the pieces before it even happens. And

963
00:50:02,800 --> 00:50:06,759
Speaker 1: I think that is the difference between good and great.

964
00:50:07,160 --> 00:50:09,719
Speaker 1: There are plenty of good goalkeepers out there, but do

965
00:50:09,760 --> 00:50:12,480
Speaker 1: they see it before it even happens. That is the

966
00:50:12,480 --> 00:50:15,120
Speaker 1: difference in our position. And I love and I don't

967
00:50:15,120 --> 00:50:18,000
Speaker 1: remember exactly what you said, but you have this great quote,

968
00:50:18,040 --> 00:50:20,120
Speaker 1: and I believe it was in your book. Your one

969
00:50:20,160 --> 00:50:23,640
Speaker 1: goal away from being the villain is that exactly? Yes,

970
00:50:24,680 --> 00:50:28,320
Speaker 1: explain that well, because I don't think people get the pressure,

971
00:50:28,520 --> 00:50:32,640
Speaker 1: and people don't understand what it's like to be back

972
00:50:32,680 --> 00:50:37,680
Speaker 1: there alone. We played a team sport. We're very, very

973
00:50:37,800 --> 00:50:42,640
Speaker 1: rarely involved with the masses with the team. Yeah, it's

974
00:50:42,760 --> 00:50:43,480
Speaker 1: very isolating.

975
00:50:43,640 --> 00:50:47,520
Speaker 2: It's isolating, and the margins are different. You know, I'm

976
00:50:47,600 --> 00:50:49,680
Speaker 2: very thankful my daughter is a striker, and I remember

977
00:50:49,800 --> 00:50:52,319
Speaker 2: the first time she when it did the rotational thing

978
00:50:52,320 --> 00:50:54,000
Speaker 2: in you socker, she put the gloves and start crying.

979
00:50:54,040 --> 00:50:55,880
Speaker 2: I was like, thank god. I think goal gives the

980
00:50:55,880 --> 00:50:59,120
Speaker 2: worst position in the world. But the margins are different,

981
00:50:59,200 --> 00:51:02,279
Speaker 2: right as a striker. As a striker, if you miss

982
00:51:02,360 --> 00:51:05,080
Speaker 2: ten chances in a game and score one, you get

983
00:51:05,080 --> 00:51:08,040
Speaker 2: mad of the match, and which is fine. I'm okay

984
00:51:08,080 --> 00:51:09,880
Speaker 2: with that because I want my strikers to score. But

985
00:51:09,880 --> 00:51:11,960
Speaker 2: as a goalkeeper, it's not the same. You know, you

986
00:51:12,000 --> 00:51:14,400
Speaker 2: miss you miss three or four four goals and you

987
00:51:14,560 --> 00:51:17,799
Speaker 2: make one save. It's not the same. And so you know,

988
00:51:19,080 --> 00:51:21,359
Speaker 2: from from a goal keeping standpoint now is as a

989
00:51:21,360 --> 00:51:26,080
Speaker 2: as a commentator and an analyst, I oftentimes try and

990
00:51:26,080 --> 00:51:28,520
Speaker 2: in the way I can educate people where we're so

991
00:51:28,600 --> 00:51:31,600
Speaker 2: they're so quick to jump on goalkeepers, and I often say,

992
00:51:31,640 --> 00:51:34,960
Speaker 2: like the other side of a world class save can't

993
00:51:35,000 --> 00:51:37,840
Speaker 2: be a mistake, meaning oftentimes people will say, well the

994
00:51:37,920 --> 00:51:40,840
Speaker 2: keeper should have had that and My reference point is

995
00:51:41,280 --> 00:51:43,120
Speaker 2: if the keeper did have that, you and I would

996
00:51:43,120 --> 00:51:45,799
Speaker 2: be sitting here going wow, what a world class safe.

997
00:51:45,800 --> 00:51:48,040
Speaker 2: So then so then the opposite of that by an

998
00:51:48,080 --> 00:51:49,960
Speaker 2: inch or two can't be all keepers should have had it,

999
00:51:49,960 --> 00:51:52,279
Speaker 2: and it could It can't be a mistake, and so

1000
00:51:52,719 --> 00:51:55,520
Speaker 2: and so, because you're the last line, because you're the

1001
00:51:55,560 --> 00:51:58,719
Speaker 2: last hope. Really, even when everything else breaks down, we're

1002
00:51:58,800 --> 00:52:01,520
Speaker 2: so quick as goepers to be villainized and to be

1003
00:52:01,520 --> 00:52:05,120
Speaker 2: scrutinized more harshly. You know, you could you could go

1004
00:52:05,160 --> 00:52:07,400
Speaker 2: through a game, or you could go through a stretch

1005
00:52:07,400 --> 00:52:09,759
Speaker 2: of five games as a midfielder and never be in

1006
00:52:09,760 --> 00:52:13,560
Speaker 2: a position to be villainized. One touch, two touch, run, tackle, jump,

1007
00:52:13,800 --> 00:52:16,360
Speaker 2: you're not really in a position to like affect the game, holy,

1008
00:52:16,840 --> 00:52:19,400
Speaker 2: where as a goalkeeper, you know, every single minute of

1009
00:52:19,400 --> 00:52:22,080
Speaker 2: every game, you could be put in a position to

1010
00:52:22,120 --> 00:52:23,760
Speaker 2: affect the game positively and negatively.

1011
00:52:24,400 --> 00:52:26,839
Speaker 1: Absolutely, And you said this at the beginning, which I'm

1012
00:52:26,880 --> 00:52:29,719
Speaker 1: really curious about all of these things happen. You know,

1013
00:52:29,760 --> 00:52:34,200
Speaker 1: you're thirty five years old, truthfully, at probably top of

1014
00:52:34,239 --> 00:52:39,800
Speaker 1: your game, and you you feel the sense of hope,

1015
00:52:40,080 --> 00:52:44,360
Speaker 1: like the country had so much hope for our men's

1016
00:52:44,440 --> 00:52:48,719
Speaker 1: national team. Was that a contributing factor of why you

1017
00:52:48,800 --> 00:52:50,439
Speaker 1: decided to go to the MLS?

1018
00:52:50,719 --> 00:52:54,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, So again I say, I'm very thankful because my

1019
00:52:54,960 --> 00:52:57,120
Speaker 2: career wasn't cut short, right, and I was able to

1020
00:52:57,200 --> 00:52:59,480
Speaker 2: make a lot of decisions and plan a lot of

1021
00:52:59,480 --> 00:53:00,879
Speaker 2: people can play. And so I was saying, like, Okay,

1022
00:53:00,920 --> 00:53:05,920
Speaker 2: this contract and my contract Everton ends in twenty sixteen,

1023
00:53:06,560 --> 00:53:09,000
Speaker 2: I don't really want to renew it. Even though Everton

1024
00:53:09,040 --> 00:53:11,520
Speaker 2: is the love of my life, It's time for me

1025
00:53:11,719 --> 00:53:16,040
Speaker 2: to go back home. You know. Certainly the proximity to

1026
00:53:16,080 --> 00:53:18,520
Speaker 2: my children played the biggest role in that, but I

1027
00:53:18,560 --> 00:53:21,239
Speaker 2: was also I was also a part of, you know,

1028
00:53:21,280 --> 00:53:24,799
Speaker 2: a soccer generation and people forget this a little bit.

1029
00:53:24,880 --> 00:53:27,279
Speaker 2: So I made my debut for the national team full

1030
00:53:27,360 --> 00:53:29,600
Speaker 2: national team in two thousand and two, went to the

1031
00:53:29,640 --> 00:53:32,319
Speaker 2: twenty and six World Cup as a second goalkeeper, then

1032
00:53:32,320 --> 00:53:34,800
Speaker 2: twenty ten in South Africa and then fourteen in Brazil.

1033
00:53:35,600 --> 00:53:38,920
Speaker 2: People forget that. Twenty ten, essentially, give or take, was

1034
00:53:38,920 --> 00:53:42,719
Speaker 2: the rise of social media. Right, So I've had nearly

1035
00:53:42,760 --> 00:53:46,200
Speaker 2: a decade on the national team, you know, applying my trade.

1036
00:53:46,360 --> 00:53:48,719
Speaker 2: Then we get down to South Africa. Things changed for

1037
00:53:49,480 --> 00:53:53,680
Speaker 2: our group, for our generation. Right, You're now people are

1038
00:53:53,719 --> 00:53:57,400
Speaker 2: sharing on social media, right, So people who are casual

1039
00:53:57,440 --> 00:53:59,920
Speaker 2: soccer fans are leaving the office and they're going in

1040
00:54:00,080 --> 00:54:01,960
Speaker 2: the pubs and the parks and they're celebrating. They're not

1041
00:54:02,000 --> 00:54:03,560
Speaker 2: really soccer fans, but they're like, Yo, what is this

1042
00:54:03,600 --> 00:54:06,320
Speaker 2: I want to see? And that changed the tide for

1043
00:54:06,320 --> 00:54:08,920
Speaker 2: for certainly for us men that people were recognie we

1044
00:54:08,920 --> 00:54:10,279
Speaker 2: were all way down South Africa. I mean, the time

1045
00:54:10,280 --> 00:54:13,680
Speaker 2: difference was crazy, and people were watching and we're we're

1046
00:54:13,680 --> 00:54:15,279
Speaker 2: seeing it in real time now, right because we don't

1047
00:54:15,280 --> 00:54:17,520
Speaker 2: have to watch a news program. We're seeing all these

1048
00:54:17,560 --> 00:54:19,920
Speaker 2: clips on on social media and everyone's new to it.

1049
00:54:20,360 --> 00:54:23,600
Speaker 2: And so being part of that change and then fast

1050
00:54:23,640 --> 00:54:25,680
Speaker 2: forward four years, the people who work like kind of

1051
00:54:25,680 --> 00:54:27,840
Speaker 2: dipping their tone of soccer like, yeah, Brazil, this is

1052
00:54:27,840 --> 00:54:30,400
Speaker 2: our time, right, God bless the American fan, right, and

1053
00:54:30,440 --> 00:54:32,080
Speaker 2: so it's our time. We're gonna do it and so

1054
00:54:32,360 --> 00:54:35,200
Speaker 2: and so I love being a part of that generation.

1055
00:54:35,320 --> 00:54:36,960
Speaker 2: And then you also have to remember, like my brothers

1056
00:54:37,000 --> 00:54:40,360
Speaker 2: were back in Molsment, Mikey Bradley, Jose Outadoor, Clint Dempsu

1057
00:54:40,400 --> 00:54:44,319
Speaker 2: was in Seattle, Bees was in Houston. So like all

1058
00:54:44,360 --> 00:54:46,640
Speaker 2: of my national team guys were back in most of

1059
00:54:46,680 --> 00:54:48,920
Speaker 2: them like back in the States, and I was like,

1060
00:54:49,080 --> 00:54:50,160
Speaker 2: I want to be I want to be a part

1061
00:54:50,160 --> 00:54:52,480
Speaker 2: of that. Jermaine Jones was in It was in Colorado

1062
00:54:52,480 --> 00:54:54,440
Speaker 2: at the time, and so I'm like, I want to

1063
00:54:54,480 --> 00:54:57,279
Speaker 2: be I want to be part of that. Like there

1064
00:54:57,360 --> 00:54:59,759
Speaker 2: was a there was also a selfish aspect and not

1065
00:54:59,800 --> 00:55:02,399
Speaker 2: a I had one. But like I told you, when

1066
00:55:02,400 --> 00:55:04,680
Speaker 2: I went over that, I remember thinking, they don't love

1067
00:55:04,719 --> 00:55:08,160
Speaker 2: you like that, and they learned to love me certainly

1068
00:55:08,160 --> 00:55:10,440
Speaker 2: every since then. But coming home, I was like, they

1069
00:55:10,480 --> 00:55:13,360
Speaker 2: do love you like this. This is going to feel different,

1070
00:55:13,400 --> 00:55:14,880
Speaker 2: and I want to, Like I think I felt like

1071
00:55:14,880 --> 00:55:16,480
Speaker 2: I earned that, and I was like, I want to

1072
00:55:16,520 --> 00:55:18,680
Speaker 2: I want to walk around the streets to Denver and

1073
00:55:18,719 --> 00:55:20,240
Speaker 2: feel that love and be a part of that community.

1074
00:55:20,239 --> 00:55:21,759
Speaker 2: And by the way, I was Denver was amazing, one

1075
00:55:21,760 --> 00:55:24,160
Speaker 2: of the greatest places I've ever lived. But like I

1076
00:55:24,200 --> 00:55:26,200
Speaker 2: wanted to feel that, I wanted to be a part

1077
00:55:26,239 --> 00:55:29,359
Speaker 2: of that organization and I'm thankful they brought me there

1078
00:55:29,360 --> 00:55:32,239
Speaker 2: and I helped set some of the building blocks and

1079
00:55:32,320 --> 00:55:36,600
Speaker 2: foundation foundational pieces to continue to help that club grow.

1080
00:55:36,640 --> 00:55:39,600
Speaker 2: And so yeah, I think there was a as as

1081
00:55:39,680 --> 00:55:42,960
Speaker 2: you spent so much of your career trying to plow

1082
00:55:43,120 --> 00:55:47,919
Speaker 2: forward and trailblaze. At the time, there was a fair

1083
00:55:48,000 --> 00:55:49,440
Speaker 2: or not fair. There was like big players don't go

1084
00:55:49,480 --> 00:55:51,759
Speaker 2: to Colorado, and I was kind of like, you know

1085
00:55:51,840 --> 00:55:53,919
Speaker 2: they want me, all right, I want to go because

1086
00:55:53,960 --> 00:55:55,319
Speaker 2: the big player are going to come to Colorado. And

1087
00:55:55,480 --> 00:55:58,279
Speaker 2: there was a bullishness and we started the conversation in

1088
00:55:58,320 --> 00:56:00,480
Speaker 2: that way, like there was a bullishness of like we're

1089
00:56:00,480 --> 00:56:02,839
Speaker 2: gonna We're gonna make Colorado fun and cool and sexy,

1090
00:56:02,840 --> 00:56:04,560
Speaker 2: and we're gonna do this thing. And we ended up

1091
00:56:04,600 --> 00:56:06,239
Speaker 2: doing a pretty good job that season and got to

1092
00:56:06,239 --> 00:56:08,359
Speaker 2: Western Conference Finals. But yeah, that a lot of that

1093
00:56:08,480 --> 00:56:11,520
Speaker 2: played a role in wanting to come back to the States.

1094
00:56:12,560 --> 00:56:15,120
Speaker 1: And I have to ask this, and I know we

1095
00:56:15,280 --> 00:56:17,800
Speaker 1: touched on it a little bit. Yeah, it's the hardest

1096
00:56:17,840 --> 00:56:21,600
Speaker 1: thing in a career. When did you know it was over?

1097
00:56:22,120 --> 00:56:24,960
Speaker 2: I signed and I signed in twenty sixteen in Denver.

1098
00:56:25,040 --> 00:56:26,319
Speaker 2: I had like a three and a half four year

1099
00:56:26,360 --> 00:56:28,279
Speaker 2: contract and I'm like, that's gonna finish what I'm forty.

1100
00:56:28,320 --> 00:56:31,279
Speaker 2: I'm like that feels good. You're like that's that boy,

1101
00:56:31,560 --> 00:56:35,759
Speaker 2: Like that's great. I'm done, right, and so it was cool.

1102
00:56:35,800 --> 00:56:37,399
Speaker 2: I felt like that was and I kind of kept

1103
00:56:37,400 --> 00:56:39,640
Speaker 2: that close to my family. I didn't announce anything like

1104
00:56:39,960 --> 00:56:41,239
Speaker 2: when I signed there, like I was gonna on my

1105
00:56:41,320 --> 00:56:43,880
Speaker 2: last contract, But as I played those years out, I

1106
00:56:43,880 --> 00:56:46,080
Speaker 2: got to the final year, I remember sitting down with

1107
00:56:46,120 --> 00:56:48,279
Speaker 2: the media team and the president of our club and

1108
00:56:48,320 --> 00:56:50,239
Speaker 2: just saying, like, look, I think it's a good time

1109
00:56:50,239 --> 00:56:52,320
Speaker 2: for me to like announce this. Get it done and

1110
00:56:52,360 --> 00:56:53,680
Speaker 2: dusted so that when we get to the back end

1111
00:56:53,680 --> 00:56:56,040
Speaker 2: the season people aren't asking questions. Was put it to bed,

1112
00:56:56,880 --> 00:56:59,760
Speaker 2: which I think was the right thing anyway, and certainly

1113
00:56:59,840 --> 00:57:04,160
Speaker 2: high in sight, and I I played through everything. One

1114
00:57:04,160 --> 00:57:07,960
Speaker 2: of the one of my one of my proudest achievements

1115
00:57:08,000 --> 00:57:10,160
Speaker 2: is my ability to show up and be available, and

1116
00:57:10,239 --> 00:57:13,960
Speaker 2: my my number of games played speaks to that. And I,

1117
00:57:15,360 --> 00:57:18,360
Speaker 2: as you know, sometimes you go out there hobbled, hurting.

1118
00:57:18,520 --> 00:57:22,560
Speaker 2: I hadn't played a game at one hundred percent in

1119
00:57:22,800 --> 00:57:28,760
Speaker 2: twenty years, and I just remember in I think it

1120
00:57:28,880 --> 00:57:34,240
Speaker 2: was late July or August of my final season, we

1121
00:57:34,320 --> 00:57:36,960
Speaker 2: went to Red Bull Arena in New Jersey and it

1122
00:57:37,000 --> 00:57:38,520
Speaker 2: was kind of a homecoming because I used to play

1123
00:57:38,520 --> 00:57:42,320
Speaker 2: for that club and I was I was I was

1124
00:57:42,960 --> 00:57:45,200
Speaker 2: put together with tape and ice, and I just I

1125
00:57:45,200 --> 00:57:48,360
Speaker 2: could barely. I barely trained. An amazing goalkeeper coach in Colorado,

1126
00:57:48,920 --> 00:57:50,800
Speaker 2: one of the best to ever do it, Chris Sharp,

1127
00:57:50,800 --> 00:57:53,360
Speaker 2: and he's still there now, and he was just so

1128
00:57:53,480 --> 00:57:56,360
Speaker 2: dedicated to my well being, my fitness, my career, and

1129
00:57:56,760 --> 00:58:00,400
Speaker 2: I didn't train much that that season. I could train,

1130
00:58:00,520 --> 00:58:02,840
Speaker 2: I could play barely, and then I could barely get

1131
00:58:02,840 --> 00:58:05,000
Speaker 2: through the week and got to the Red Bull game

1132
00:58:05,040 --> 00:58:07,960
Speaker 2: and I remember, you know, going back a year or two,

1133
00:58:08,000 --> 00:58:10,840
Speaker 2: I had torn my my adductor off the bone in

1134
00:58:10,880 --> 00:58:13,120
Speaker 2: the US national team game, which should have been career ending,

1135
00:58:13,120 --> 00:58:15,120
Speaker 2: but I had some great surgeons and so I was back,

1136
00:58:15,160 --> 00:58:18,040
Speaker 2: and so I was just hanging on. And I remember

1137
00:58:18,240 --> 00:58:20,080
Speaker 2: taking a goal kick at Red Bull Arena in the

1138
00:58:20,120 --> 00:58:22,440
Speaker 2: first half, and something didn't feel right. You know, your body,

1139
00:58:22,800 --> 00:58:24,480
Speaker 2: you know it like you do. One has to tell you, like, like,

1140
00:58:24,560 --> 00:58:26,560
Speaker 2: that doesn't feel right, and if I keep going, it's

1141
00:58:26,560 --> 00:58:30,080
Speaker 2: gonna be bad. So now instead of playing with the game,

1142
00:58:30,120 --> 00:58:32,840
Speaker 2: playing the tactics and clipping balls like listen, just give

1143
00:58:32,840 --> 00:58:34,440
Speaker 2: it to my center back nice and easy. You deal

1144
00:58:34,480 --> 00:58:35,960
Speaker 2: with it. And I'm telling him, like, hey, I ain't

1145
00:58:35,960 --> 00:58:37,680
Speaker 2: got a whole lot, so you got to you gotta

1146
00:58:37,560 --> 00:58:40,480
Speaker 2: take this off of me here. And then slowly but surely,

1147
00:58:40,480 --> 00:58:42,360
Speaker 2: as that game went on, I'm like, I can't kick

1148
00:58:42,400 --> 00:58:44,480
Speaker 2: on my right foot anymore, so I got to kick

1149
00:58:44,600 --> 00:58:47,440
Speaker 2: my left foot, so I started kicking on my left foot. Everything.

1150
00:58:47,480 --> 00:58:49,160
Speaker 2: It's just it looks o because I'm like, I can

1151
00:58:49,280 --> 00:58:51,160
Speaker 2: kick on my left foot, but people like, he's not lefty,

1152
00:58:51,720 --> 00:58:54,560
Speaker 2: and so now everything starting. Now my calf starts to

1153
00:58:54,640 --> 00:58:58,120
Speaker 2: like go, and I'm thinking I'm literally gonna like I can't.

1154
00:58:58,160 --> 00:58:59,800
Speaker 2: I can't get subbed off here like this is like

1155
00:59:00,960 --> 00:59:03,240
Speaker 2: I'm just a bag of crumbs at this point. And

1156
00:59:03,280 --> 00:59:05,840
Speaker 2: the team wins and it was our actually our manager,

1157
00:59:06,080 --> 00:59:07,840
Speaker 2: we had a new manager. It was first game. Everyone

1158
00:59:07,880 --> 00:59:10,880
Speaker 2: was jubilant and so excited in the dress room and

1159
00:59:10,920 --> 00:59:12,360
Speaker 2: it's just a party, you know what it's like after

1160
00:59:12,400 --> 00:59:14,400
Speaker 2: a win, particularly on the road. And I'm sitting in

1161
00:59:14,440 --> 00:59:15,840
Speaker 2: my locker and I got my towel over my head

1162
00:59:15,840 --> 00:59:18,400
Speaker 2: and I'm literally sobbing and I'm not trying to be

1163
00:59:18,440 --> 00:59:21,480
Speaker 2: like the party pooper, but I'm sobbing. And my goalkeeper,

1164
00:59:21,480 --> 00:59:24,040
Speaker 2: coach again, who I love dearly, sees it and it

1165
00:59:24,040 --> 00:59:26,640
Speaker 2: comes over to me and he literally just says it's over,

1166
00:59:26,760 --> 00:59:28,800
Speaker 2: isn't it. And I said, it's done. I said, I

1167
00:59:28,800 --> 00:59:30,800
Speaker 2: got nothing now. By the way, we still had games

1168
00:59:30,840 --> 00:59:33,160
Speaker 2: left in the season, but I was like, I'm done.

1169
00:59:33,360 --> 00:59:37,400
Speaker 2: I have nothing left. And then subsequently the you know

1170
00:59:37,400 --> 00:59:38,880
Speaker 2: O see, we didn't make the playoff season and ended

1171
00:59:38,880 --> 00:59:42,400
Speaker 2: in September, and coach was good to me. I basically said, look,

1172
00:59:42,400 --> 00:59:45,080
Speaker 2: I can't play a whole lot. And what I don't

1173
00:59:45,120 --> 00:59:47,520
Speaker 2: want to do because you know, I'm forty years old

1174
00:59:47,560 --> 00:59:49,280
Speaker 2: and our coach is forty five, so we're like peers.

1175
00:59:49,320 --> 00:59:50,560
Speaker 2: And I said, what I don't want to do is

1176
00:59:50,560 --> 00:59:52,440
Speaker 2: I'm not going to hamstring you. I'm not going to

1177
00:59:52,600 --> 00:59:55,280
Speaker 2: put myself out there knowing that I've only got sixty

1178
00:59:55,360 --> 00:59:57,960
Speaker 2: minutes and so you lose a sub on a goalkeeper,

1179
00:59:58,000 --> 01:00:00,000
Speaker 2: I'm like, that's going to hurt you as a coach,

1180
01:00:00,120 --> 01:00:02,120
Speaker 2: I said, So let me put me on a shelf

1181
01:00:02,120 --> 01:00:03,520
Speaker 2: for a few games. I said, but what I would

1182
01:00:03,520 --> 01:00:05,840
Speaker 2: like to do is coming the back end this season,

1183
01:00:06,120 --> 01:00:08,400
Speaker 2: try and get myself fit enough to play our last

1184
01:00:08,400 --> 01:00:10,520
Speaker 2: home game and certainly our last away game, and then

1185
01:00:10,680 --> 01:00:13,160
Speaker 2: be done. And he was great to me, and he

1186
01:00:13,200 --> 01:00:14,560
Speaker 2: did that, and I played my last home game. I

1187
01:00:14,560 --> 01:00:15,960
Speaker 2: was able to bring my family out and had big

1188
01:00:16,000 --> 01:00:18,560
Speaker 2: ceremony and then played my last game in La got

1189
01:00:18,560 --> 01:00:20,840
Speaker 2: our butts kicked and walked off the field and that

1190
01:00:20,880 --> 01:00:23,920
Speaker 2: was it. But yeah, you do know. I think most

1191
01:00:24,160 --> 01:00:26,880
Speaker 2: people know, whether they admit it or not, because some

1192
01:00:26,880 --> 01:00:31,000
Speaker 2: of the athletes they go out hobbling. But there's a

1193
01:00:31,040 --> 01:00:32,880
Speaker 2: singular moment when you look back, you're like, that was

1194
01:00:32,920 --> 01:00:34,040
Speaker 2: it and that was mine.

1195
01:00:35,040 --> 01:00:37,960
Speaker 1: It's so powerful. Thanks for sharing, And I'll say this

1196
01:00:38,000 --> 01:00:41,840
Speaker 1: to you. You know how much I adore you. I'm

1197
01:00:41,880 --> 01:00:44,960
Speaker 1: grateful for your commitment to the game because you opened

1198
01:00:45,040 --> 01:00:47,160
Speaker 1: up doors for people like myself who we do not

1199
01:00:47,280 --> 01:00:50,960
Speaker 1: look the same. And I don't think sometimes you realize

1200
01:00:51,520 --> 01:00:54,320
Speaker 1: not only the magnitude you had on young boys, but

1201
01:00:54,440 --> 01:00:57,480
Speaker 1: young girls, because you were our role model when we

1202
01:00:57,560 --> 01:01:01,240
Speaker 1: didn't have it and we didn't have have the opportunity

1203
01:01:01,320 --> 01:01:04,520
Speaker 1: to see people like us on TV. So you did

1204
01:01:04,600 --> 01:01:07,560
Speaker 1: change a lot of things you may not realize. So

1205
01:01:07,680 --> 01:01:09,720
Speaker 1: let me be the one to tell you you changed

1206
01:01:09,760 --> 01:01:13,040
Speaker 1: a lot in my career. I picked my number because

1207
01:01:13,080 --> 01:01:16,560
Speaker 1: of you, before our friendship, before I knew who you

1208
01:01:16,640 --> 01:01:19,920
Speaker 1: were as a person, and I'm grateful you chose the sport.

1209
01:01:20,000 --> 01:01:24,760
Speaker 1: I'm grateful the sport chose you, and I'm grateful for

1210
01:01:24,840 --> 01:01:27,400
Speaker 1: a friendship and for you showing up today and being

1211
01:01:27,440 --> 01:01:31,640
Speaker 1: so open and vulnerable and honest. Because what makes you

1212
01:01:31,920 --> 01:01:34,760
Speaker 1: is you Off the field, you are special. You are

1213
01:01:34,800 --> 01:01:38,200
Speaker 1: a light every room you walk in. You make everyone

1214
01:01:38,240 --> 01:01:41,000
Speaker 1: better than you and that is a special gift. So

1215
01:01:41,200 --> 01:01:44,000
Speaker 1: thank you for being here, Thanks for being on Wide Open.

1216
01:01:44,720 --> 01:01:48,080
Speaker 1: You have a new podcast with land In Yeah, Oh

1217
01:01:48,160 --> 01:01:51,360
Speaker 1: my gosh, I can't wait. You have two episodes.

1218
01:01:51,360 --> 01:01:54,080
Speaker 2: Are you out? Two episodes? Drop one today? Yeah. Unfiltered

1219
01:01:54,120 --> 01:01:57,160
Speaker 2: Soccer with Landing down and my old partner in crime

1220
01:01:57,200 --> 01:01:59,160
Speaker 2: on the national teams. I hope they give a listen.

1221
01:01:59,200 --> 01:02:01,240
Speaker 2: And I know you have some followers as well. So

1222
01:02:01,880 --> 01:02:04,920
Speaker 2: delighted to be on your show and on your podcast.

1223
01:02:06,040 --> 01:02:08,200
Speaker 2: I loved watching you, love watching what you're doing off

1224
01:02:08,200 --> 01:02:10,320
Speaker 2: the field, and glad that I can be a very

1225
01:02:10,360 --> 01:02:11,480
Speaker 2: small part of your journey.

1226
01:02:12,160 --> 01:02:18,200
Speaker 1: Thanks Tom. Wide Open with Ashlin Harris is an iHeart

1227
01:02:18,200 --> 01:02:22,320
Speaker 1: women's sports production. You can find us on the iHeartRadio app,

1228
01:02:22,520 --> 01:02:26,760
Speaker 1: Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Our producers

1229
01:02:26,840 --> 01:02:32,600
Speaker 1: are Carmen Borca Correo, Emily Maronoff and Lucy Jones. Production

1230
01:02:32,720 --> 01:02:38,480
Speaker 1: assistants from Malia Aguidello. Our executive producers are Jesse Katz,

1231
01:02:38,800 --> 01:02:42,960
Speaker 1: Jenny Kaplan and Emily Rudder. Our editors are Jenny Kaplan

1232
01:02:43,120 --> 01:02:46,600
Speaker 1: and Emily Rudder and I'm Your Host Ashlyn Harris