1 00:00:01,280 --> 00:00:03,520 Speaker 1: This episode is brought to you by P and C Bank. 2 00:00:03,920 --> 00:00:06,680 Speaker 1: A lot of people think podcasts about work are boring, 3 00:00:06,880 --> 00:00:10,719 Speaker 1: and sure they definitely can be, but understanding of professionals 4 00:00:10,800 --> 00:00:14,080 Speaker 1: routine shows us how they achieve their success little by little, 5 00:00:14,440 --> 00:00:18,079 Speaker 1: day after day. It's like banking with P and C Bank. 6 00:00:18,560 --> 00:00:21,360 Speaker 1: It might seem boring to safe plan and make calculated 7 00:00:21,400 --> 00:00:24,479 Speaker 1: decisions with your bank, but keeping your money boring is 8 00:00:24,520 --> 00:00:27,840 Speaker 1: what helps you live or more happily fulfilled life. P 9 00:00:27,960 --> 00:00:32,800 Speaker 1: and C Bank Brilliantly Boring since eighteen sixty five. Brilliantly 10 00:00:32,840 --> 00:00:35,479 Speaker 1: Boring since eighteen sixty five is a service mark of 11 00:00:35,520 --> 00:00:38,760 Speaker 1: the PNC Financial Service Group, Inc. P and C Bank 12 00:00:39,159 --> 00:00:41,360 Speaker 1: National Association Member FDIC. 13 00:00:43,560 --> 00:00:45,800 Speaker 2: You've been on television for a long time, and you've 14 00:00:45,800 --> 00:00:48,199 Speaker 2: been a public figure obviously being on television for a 15 00:00:48,200 --> 00:00:55,560 Speaker 2: long time, How does that play into relationships? 16 00:00:55,600 --> 00:00:56,440 Speaker 3: Like how what you mean? 17 00:00:56,960 --> 00:01:00,240 Speaker 2: Like for women a lot of times it's it's a 18 00:01:00,240 --> 00:01:04,640 Speaker 2: little difficult or it could be different than like a man, 19 00:01:04,800 --> 00:01:07,400 Speaker 2: like when you're in a relationship, right and it's like 20 00:01:07,520 --> 00:01:10,960 Speaker 2: you got to travel or you're like uh, known and 21 00:01:11,080 --> 00:01:15,119 Speaker 2: different things that like you know, this is. 22 00:01:15,040 --> 00:01:16,920 Speaker 3: A great question. Can you give me some advice. I 23 00:01:16,959 --> 00:01:18,600 Speaker 3: need some advice. Do you think I can give me 24 00:01:18,640 --> 00:01:19,160 Speaker 3: some advice? 25 00:01:19,600 --> 00:01:22,319 Speaker 4: Got you what you need? Okay, what's the question? 26 00:01:22,880 --> 00:01:24,880 Speaker 3: I know, but first finishing what you're saying, because I 27 00:01:24,880 --> 00:01:27,240 Speaker 3: think you're I think you're asking me, how do I know? 28 00:01:27,560 --> 00:01:29,840 Speaker 4: Are you? Are you single? Oh? 29 00:01:30,200 --> 00:01:31,600 Speaker 3: Oh god, that's a great question. 30 00:01:33,400 --> 00:01:37,920 Speaker 4: Let her enjoy the holidays, my boy. Let me that's 31 00:01:37,959 --> 00:01:42,440 Speaker 4: a dirty back before the holiday because not present yet? 32 00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:47,039 Speaker 2: Right, So, like, well, if you're not all right, well, 33 00:01:47,080 --> 00:01:51,320 Speaker 2: all right regardless regardless, it's it's, it's it's. But I've 34 00:01:51,360 --> 00:01:53,240 Speaker 2: heard this from other women to like, you know that 35 00:01:53,880 --> 00:01:56,880 Speaker 2: it could be difficult sometimes or you gotta sometimes you 36 00:01:56,960 --> 00:02:01,200 Speaker 2: might have to lower your presence and moments for the 37 00:02:01,320 --> 00:02:03,960 Speaker 2: man to feel more comfortable. I'm not saying that's your situation. 38 00:02:03,960 --> 00:02:05,840 Speaker 2: I'm just saying I've heard that from other people before me. 39 00:02:06,400 --> 00:02:08,320 Speaker 2: But men don't have to deal with that. Men don't 40 00:02:08,360 --> 00:02:13,480 Speaker 2: have to worry about they're on television or you know, 41 00:02:13,520 --> 00:02:16,359 Speaker 2: they're getting too much attention, or somebody might recognize them 42 00:02:16,400 --> 00:02:19,480 Speaker 2: at dinner, right, Like, that's not something that a man 43 00:02:19,639 --> 00:02:23,640 Speaker 2: ever thinks about, But a woman who is a public 44 00:02:23,680 --> 00:02:28,079 Speaker 2: figure might have to consider that when the dynamics of 45 00:02:28,120 --> 00:02:31,600 Speaker 2: the relationship might have some level of, you know, in balance. 46 00:02:32,320 --> 00:02:35,200 Speaker 3: Okay, this is great, and so I think I'm going 47 00:02:35,240 --> 00:02:37,760 Speaker 3: to tell you what I think about that. I've never 48 00:02:39,160 --> 00:02:41,639 Speaker 3: I mean, I'm aware of it, and I think the 49 00:02:41,680 --> 00:02:43,600 Speaker 3: men that I'm attracted to are the men that I've 50 00:02:43,680 --> 00:02:45,800 Speaker 3: dated and been with in the past. I don't think 51 00:02:45,840 --> 00:02:51,079 Speaker 3: that's an issue for them, at least they've never made 52 00:02:51,120 --> 00:02:54,359 Speaker 3: it seem as if it's an issue. They seek confident, comfortable, 53 00:02:54,960 --> 00:03:00,520 Speaker 3: got their own, So I don't think that being in 54 00:03:00,520 --> 00:03:02,839 Speaker 3: the public eye made them feel a way. At least 55 00:03:02,840 --> 00:03:06,720 Speaker 3: that's how they've all made me believe. But it probably 56 00:03:06,800 --> 00:03:11,080 Speaker 3: manifests in ways that I haven't really acknowledged. I often 57 00:03:11,240 --> 00:03:16,239 Speaker 3: wonder and I and I, because there's always a story 58 00:03:16,280 --> 00:03:17,880 Speaker 3: about what kind of minute day I date black man? 59 00:03:18,080 --> 00:03:19,720 Speaker 3: Is there on the internet they'll tell you only date 60 00:03:19,720 --> 00:03:21,640 Speaker 3: white man. I don't know why where that came from, 61 00:03:21,760 --> 00:03:24,320 Speaker 3: Maybe me back in the day being silly when I 62 00:03:24,320 --> 00:03:26,680 Speaker 3: was at ESPN joking around with Jamail, we say silly 63 00:03:26,720 --> 00:03:30,040 Speaker 3: things or weld TikTok, and then the Internet run with 64 00:03:30,080 --> 00:03:31,960 Speaker 3: it and it's like, Okay, shortly, day's white man. That's 65 00:03:31,960 --> 00:03:37,120 Speaker 3: just not true. But I think it is hard to 66 00:03:37,320 --> 00:03:40,560 Speaker 3: date as a woman who is in the public eye 67 00:03:41,040 --> 00:03:45,840 Speaker 3: if you're with somebody who doesn't understand that sometimes networking 68 00:03:46,480 --> 00:03:50,400 Speaker 3: might look like flirting meeting. I could be at an event. 69 00:03:51,200 --> 00:03:56,160 Speaker 3: I went to a Beyonce concert and I see a 70 00:03:56,160 --> 00:03:58,480 Speaker 3: bunch of people that I know, and I'm I'm networking, 71 00:03:58,520 --> 00:04:00,200 Speaker 3: I'm talking and yeah, we should do this. I think 72 00:04:00,200 --> 00:04:03,320 Speaker 3: that'd be great. We laugh and we're joking. We're all 73 00:04:03,480 --> 00:04:06,400 Speaker 3: having drinks. Now, the person I could have been with 74 00:04:06,440 --> 00:04:09,800 Speaker 3: could have felt a way about that. If you're looking, 75 00:04:09,880 --> 00:04:12,280 Speaker 3: you're like, I don't know what this is. I do 76 00:04:12,520 --> 00:04:17,839 Speaker 3: find that that is uncomfortable. And I'm taking notes right 77 00:04:17,920 --> 00:04:20,120 Speaker 3: because I don't If you want somebody, you don't want 78 00:04:20,120 --> 00:04:22,400 Speaker 3: them to feel uncomfortable. You want them to be good. 79 00:04:22,600 --> 00:04:25,960 Speaker 3: But I don't think that taking notes looks like me 80 00:04:26,440 --> 00:04:28,240 Speaker 3: dimming my life. I would never want to be with 81 00:04:28,240 --> 00:04:31,240 Speaker 3: anybody who wants me to do I wouldn't want to 82 00:04:31,279 --> 00:04:35,000 Speaker 3: be with anyone who can't give me a compliment, who 83 00:04:35,720 --> 00:04:39,560 Speaker 3: can't tell me I look good because they think three 84 00:04:39,600 --> 00:04:41,720 Speaker 3: thousand men on Twitter told me that today, so they 85 00:04:41,720 --> 00:04:46,560 Speaker 3: don't want to tell me. So I try to date 86 00:04:46,680 --> 00:04:48,520 Speaker 3: and make men feel safe when I fine. 87 00:04:48,680 --> 00:04:49,520 Speaker 4: You know I'm not. 88 00:04:50,400 --> 00:04:52,200 Speaker 3: I don't have a bunch of relationships. When I am 89 00:04:52,240 --> 00:04:54,080 Speaker 3: in one, I try to make you feel good. I 90 00:04:54,120 --> 00:04:57,000 Speaker 3: try to make you feel comfortable, secure, all the things 91 00:04:57,040 --> 00:04:59,040 Speaker 3: as I would want you to do for me as well. 92 00:05:00,040 --> 00:05:01,640 Speaker 3: Here's the thing that I'm going to. 93 00:05:01,640 --> 00:05:02,360 Speaker 4: Ask you about. 94 00:05:02,880 --> 00:05:05,359 Speaker 3: I'm curious, and I don't know if y'all notice it. 95 00:05:05,360 --> 00:05:07,920 Speaker 3: Whether you're married or single, or whatever your case may be, 96 00:05:08,400 --> 00:05:11,320 Speaker 3: there's something going on. And y'all know you've had this 97 00:05:11,400 --> 00:05:13,440 Speaker 3: debate over and over again with black men and black 98 00:05:13,440 --> 00:05:18,160 Speaker 3: women where I think we are constantly talking about what 99 00:05:18,920 --> 00:05:22,160 Speaker 3: when one group does versus the other group. And that's 100 00:05:22,240 --> 00:05:25,360 Speaker 3: why we're in this space where we're constantly knocking heads, 101 00:05:25,400 --> 00:05:28,560 Speaker 3: like don't I don't understand that now Now I'm so confused. 102 00:05:28,600 --> 00:05:32,359 Speaker 3: So I was sitting down and my friend walked up. 103 00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:34,839 Speaker 3: Too many goes. You're on your phone and you're sitting 104 00:05:34,839 --> 00:05:36,320 Speaker 3: at a bar. You don't even look like you want 105 00:05:36,320 --> 00:05:37,599 Speaker 3: to talk to a dude. If I saw a dude. 106 00:05:37,640 --> 00:05:38,680 Speaker 3: If I was a dude and I want to walk 107 00:05:38,760 --> 00:05:39,880 Speaker 3: up to you, I wouldn't talk to you because you 108 00:05:39,880 --> 00:05:42,760 Speaker 3: don't seem open enough. You seem like you mean, you 109 00:05:42,839 --> 00:05:46,800 Speaker 3: seem like you don't have time. But I'm just responding 110 00:05:46,839 --> 00:05:50,120 Speaker 3: to a text like ten other people are, right, what's 111 00:05:50,160 --> 00:05:52,680 Speaker 3: going on with that? Like that's the question I have, 112 00:05:52,839 --> 00:05:56,400 Speaker 3: do y'all since that at all? Like there's just this beef, 113 00:05:56,480 --> 00:06:02,080 Speaker 3: this unwritten it just gets toxic and it gets uncomfortable. 114 00:06:02,480 --> 00:06:05,120 Speaker 3: And I'm not blaming Kevin Samuels because everybody loves him. 115 00:06:08,480 --> 00:06:12,919 Speaker 3: I'm blaming him, But I also know that maybe perhaps 116 00:06:13,000 --> 00:06:15,280 Speaker 3: there is some blame to be to be there, you 117 00:06:15,320 --> 00:06:17,000 Speaker 3: know what I mean. I don't know, so I'm asking you. 118 00:06:17,240 --> 00:06:19,359 Speaker 2: I think I think it's it's it's a it's a 119 00:06:19,400 --> 00:06:21,479 Speaker 2: good question, and I think it's deep rooted. I hate 120 00:06:21,480 --> 00:06:23,360 Speaker 2: to be the conspiracy theory god, but I do think 121 00:06:23,360 --> 00:06:26,200 Speaker 2: that there is some level of outside influence that has 122 00:06:27,160 --> 00:06:30,919 Speaker 2: that has helped push that agenda to divide and conquer strategy. 123 00:06:30,960 --> 00:06:34,920 Speaker 2: But I also think that it speaks to a breakdown 124 00:06:34,960 --> 00:06:38,159 Speaker 2: and just the culture of American culture overall. Like I 125 00:06:38,200 --> 00:06:39,839 Speaker 2: feel like, you know, we do a lot of traveling, 126 00:06:39,880 --> 00:06:42,400 Speaker 2: and you know, I'm overseas a lot these days, and 127 00:06:43,880 --> 00:06:47,080 Speaker 2: the cultural norms and cultural standards that other countries have 128 00:06:47,160 --> 00:06:51,360 Speaker 2: Americans don't have, and that's something that's not talked about enough, 129 00:06:51,839 --> 00:06:54,039 Speaker 2: and I think that that definitely plays a major part 130 00:06:54,040 --> 00:06:58,000 Speaker 2: in the relationship dynamics between men and women because it 131 00:06:58,080 --> 00:07:03,360 Speaker 2: becomes a battle. Right, So now a woman easily can 132 00:07:03,440 --> 00:07:06,440 Speaker 2: disrespect the man, a man can easily disrespect the woman. 133 00:07:07,040 --> 00:07:09,200 Speaker 2: And then you throw some gasoline on the fire, you 134 00:07:09,279 --> 00:07:11,640 Speaker 2: see a viral clip go, and then before you know it, 135 00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:14,240 Speaker 2: it's just a constant No, I'm not paying for this, Why. 136 00:07:14,080 --> 00:07:14,880 Speaker 4: Would you do this thing? 137 00:07:15,200 --> 00:07:17,000 Speaker 2: You should be like, you know, it's just like a constant, 138 00:07:17,120 --> 00:07:20,480 Speaker 2: just toxic thing. So I feel like that's a real, real, 139 00:07:20,640 --> 00:07:22,480 Speaker 2: like just deep rooted. But I also feel like it 140 00:07:22,960 --> 00:07:26,440 Speaker 2: is rooted in pain because a lot of times, you know, 141 00:07:26,560 --> 00:07:30,400 Speaker 2: there is truths to like they say there's truth in 142 00:07:30,440 --> 00:07:33,560 Speaker 2: every joke, Like there's truth in every troll. So it's like, 143 00:07:33,640 --> 00:07:36,000 Speaker 2: you know, there's a lot of pain because, yeah, I 144 00:07:36,080 --> 00:07:38,240 Speaker 2: used to be a financial advisor, so I have first 145 00:07:38,240 --> 00:07:41,040 Speaker 2: hand information on this, Like most of my clients were 146 00:07:41,080 --> 00:07:43,320 Speaker 2: black women, and that's when I realized that black women 147 00:07:43,760 --> 00:07:45,960 Speaker 2: was making a lot more money than a lot of 148 00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:49,960 Speaker 2: black men. That's a real thing, but that definitely causes 149 00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:53,080 Speaker 2: issues in a relationship when you're frustrated because you're not 150 00:07:53,160 --> 00:07:55,400 Speaker 2: able to earn enough money to take care of your family. 151 00:07:55,920 --> 00:07:59,120 Speaker 2: Somebody's making more money, they gonna feel more empowered. Let's 152 00:07:59,160 --> 00:08:00,760 Speaker 2: just be honest. If a woman is making more money 153 00:08:00,760 --> 00:08:02,160 Speaker 2: than a man, she's going to fill on a certain 154 00:08:02,240 --> 00:08:04,440 Speaker 2: level more in powered. Nine times out of ten, it's 155 00:08:04,440 --> 00:08:06,400 Speaker 2: going to be a different conversation. It's gonna be different 156 00:08:06,400 --> 00:08:10,960 Speaker 2: things that happen in that relationship. So there's underlying things 157 00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:14,760 Speaker 2: that I think caused all of these issues. But I 158 00:08:14,840 --> 00:08:17,280 Speaker 2: also feel like it's just not deep rooted in culture 159 00:08:17,320 --> 00:08:20,640 Speaker 2: as far as like cultural standards, cultural norms. You know, 160 00:08:20,840 --> 00:08:25,600 Speaker 2: certain boundaries that other countries, other cultures have established that 161 00:08:25,680 --> 00:08:29,160 Speaker 2: we don't have established, and it's just like running them up. 162 00:08:29,960 --> 00:08:32,760 Speaker 4: But to your point, rest in peace to the Godfather. 163 00:08:33,240 --> 00:08:34,800 Speaker 4: He brought a lot of us to the table. 164 00:08:34,840 --> 00:08:37,319 Speaker 5: And then it became an inflection point because most people 165 00:08:37,320 --> 00:08:39,600 Speaker 5: aren't having these coming like when I'm outside of dinner. 166 00:08:40,120 --> 00:08:41,400 Speaker 4: This is not a talking point. 167 00:08:42,360 --> 00:08:44,720 Speaker 5: And the other part that has to be said about man, 168 00:08:45,080 --> 00:08:48,880 Speaker 5: y'all have to quit being so fucking scared whether she 169 00:08:49,040 --> 00:08:52,240 Speaker 5: mean or not, whether you got motion or not to 170 00:08:52,280 --> 00:08:53,160 Speaker 5: a future shot. 171 00:08:53,440 --> 00:08:55,040 Speaker 2: But no, but this goes back to the thing what 172 00:08:55,120 --> 00:08:57,840 Speaker 2: we're saying before that most people can't afford to get married. 173 00:08:58,200 --> 00:09:00,480 Speaker 2: So there's a lot of this is an economic issue 174 00:09:00,480 --> 00:09:02,560 Speaker 2: with this whole red pill community was birthed out of 175 00:09:02,559 --> 00:09:04,560 Speaker 2: people that's frustrated with this people. 176 00:09:04,600 --> 00:09:05,600 Speaker 4: It's just like racism. 177 00:09:05,800 --> 00:09:08,520 Speaker 2: When people are angry about this situation, they projected on 178 00:09:08,559 --> 00:09:12,000 Speaker 2: other people. So this whole anti woman movement that we've 179 00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:14,720 Speaker 2: seen with a lot of like people online, like you said, 180 00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:16,400 Speaker 2: a lot of stuff you don't even see in the 181 00:09:16,440 --> 00:09:19,720 Speaker 2: real world, like real I think what I call it, 182 00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:22,920 Speaker 2: this is the vocal minority. Things on social media get 183 00:09:22,960 --> 00:09:26,200 Speaker 2: amplified and it seems bigger than what it really is. 184 00:09:26,200 --> 00:09:28,280 Speaker 2: But I've never seen somebody have a fifty fifty debate 185 00:09:28,320 --> 00:09:31,559 Speaker 2: in person. I've never in life. I never in my life. 186 00:09:32,040 --> 00:09:34,000 Speaker 2: They might have had it behind closed doors, but I've 187 00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:36,920 Speaker 2: never in my life been at a restaurant and seen people. 188 00:09:37,080 --> 00:09:38,840 Speaker 2: I've never in my life seen a man tell a 189 00:09:38,840 --> 00:09:41,319 Speaker 2: woman pay the bill at a restaurant. I've never been in life, 190 00:09:41,559 --> 00:09:43,640 Speaker 2: and I've probably been to at least three thousand dinners 191 00:09:43,679 --> 00:09:47,560 Speaker 2: in my life. I've never seen these hypothetical questions that 192 00:09:47,720 --> 00:09:50,600 Speaker 2: permeonate on social media I've never seen in reality, But 193 00:09:50,679 --> 00:09:53,960 Speaker 2: like I said, hurt people. Hurt people when when you 194 00:09:54,120 --> 00:09:56,680 Speaker 2: really don't have enough confidence and you really don't have 195 00:09:56,800 --> 00:10:00,840 Speaker 2: enough money and you like then you're not gonna want 196 00:10:00,840 --> 00:10:03,040 Speaker 2: to talk to a woman because you don't even feel 197 00:10:03,240 --> 00:10:04,520 Speaker 2: confident in yourself. 198 00:10:06,080 --> 00:10:06,760 Speaker 4: Erners, what's up? 199 00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:09,880 Speaker 1: You ever walk into a small business and everything just works, 200 00:10:10,240 --> 00:10:13,559 Speaker 1: like the checkout is fast, or seats are digital, tipping 201 00:10:13,800 --> 00:10:16,240 Speaker 1: is a breeze and you're out the door before the 202 00:10:16,280 --> 00:10:20,640 Speaker 1: line even builds odds are they're using Square. 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