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Speaker 1: Hey, John, you're under arrest. Oh no, don't do it.

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Speaker 1: I'm an og Okay start Time podcast hosts.

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Speaker 2: I don't care.

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Speaker 3: I'm making sure that you stay here for the next

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Speaker 3: two minutes.

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Speaker 1: All right, I'll be detained for the two more minutes

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Speaker 1: before we get into this episode. Yeah, we got some

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Speaker 1: ads coming up. Just stick around. Stick around.

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Speaker 4: My girlfriend wanted to break up with me because I

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Speaker 4: can do the splits.

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Speaker 5: That's a super cool thing, though, seems like a plus.

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Speaker 4: I've mailed twenty five, been with my girlfriend female twenty

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Speaker 4: four for the past four years, and we're currently engaged

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Speaker 4: planning our wedding for hopefully early next year, since we

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Speaker 4: figured most of twenty twenty one would be used to

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Speaker 4: really get past the latter stages of the pandemic. We

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Speaker 4: rarely ever fight, but she insists I broke her trust

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Speaker 4: over what happened a few days ago. By the way,

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Speaker 4: this comes from Deleted and you can submit your own

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Speaker 4: stories on the r slash Okay Storytime Separate. I'm Sophia,

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Speaker 4: I'm Angie, and I'm Riley, and Op says my girlfriend

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Speaker 4: works full time as a receptionist but also does yoga

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Speaker 4: very seriously on the side. She has it's a separate

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Speaker 4: Instagram account just for yoga, and teaches a few clients

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Speaker 4: at a gym as well. I used to do gymnastics

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Speaker 4: growing up before switching to aerial circus at a nearby

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Speaker 4: studio for a few years. Sick Ariel is very cool.

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Speaker 4: Oh yeah, mostly focusing on aerial straps in my early

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Speaker 4: high school years before stopping due to repeated injuries. I

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Speaker 4: still try to keep some of the conditioning I learned

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Speaker 4: and apply it when I'm training at the gym today.

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Speaker 4: But my problem started when she asked me to help

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Speaker 4: her film something. She has a YouTube channel that she's

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Speaker 4: constantly trying to grow, and she asked me to help

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Speaker 4: with the splits tutorial, where she would do advanced versions

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Speaker 4: of stretches while I did more basic versions for inflexible people.

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Speaker 4: When she had me try a few of the stretches

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Speaker 4: she had in mind, she was surprised with how easy

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Speaker 4: some of them were for me. When she sarcastically asked

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Speaker 4: me if I could do the splits, I showed her

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Speaker 4: that I could, and for some reason she got really offended.

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Speaker 4: I wasn't showing off or anything. I just did the

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Speaker 4: poses she asked. I helped her with other videos before.

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Speaker 4: But when she asked how I learned it, I told

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Speaker 4: her about gymnastics and aerial straps before high school and

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Speaker 4: now I tried to keep some conditioning exercises a part

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Speaker 4: of my gym routine. Okay, right, he's not doing the

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Speaker 4: aerial currently, he's doing the conditioning for aeriel But still,

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Speaker 4: I mean, like it never came up? Also, like why

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Speaker 4: would that be a problem. She got offended that I

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Speaker 4: never told her about it, But I did tell her

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Speaker 4: about it years ago. She just didn't seem to remember.

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Speaker 4: And that's fine. I don't think it's that important. I

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Speaker 4: told her the last time I did aerial straps or

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Speaker 4: gymnastics was like ninth grade, maybe tenth. But she spun

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Speaker 4: it into what else are you hiding? And called me

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Speaker 4: a liar? Asked why don't I make an Instagram just

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Speaker 4: like her? And stuff like that. I honestly didn't know

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Speaker 4: why she was getting so worked up. Also, how did

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Speaker 4: it never come up? How did she never notice he

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Speaker 4: was flexible like in know Threo's situations. How did I

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Speaker 4: never come up? Good question? I told her I was sorry,

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Speaker 4: despite not thinking I had anything to be sorry for.

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Speaker 4: But her mood was ruined, and she gave up on

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Speaker 4: the video idea, saying she changed her mind and acting

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Speaker 4: distant for the rest of the day. When I got

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Speaker 4: home and tried to text her again that I I

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Speaker 4: was sorry, she didn't respond. She hasn't responded to anything.

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Speaker 4: I've texted her for four straight days and when we

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Speaker 4: almost all when we almost always talk. Then finally, about

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Speaker 4: a week later, she told me she wanted to take

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Speaker 4: a break from our relationship, and a bunch of other

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Speaker 4: things about how she couldn't trusted me. What was going on.

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Speaker 4: They were about to get married, guys.

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Speaker 2: What dude?

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Speaker 4: They were engaged. They were literally about to get married,

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Speaker 4: engaged to be wed, and she's taking a break because

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Speaker 4: she didn't know he could do this splits.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, like he just you know, put in split mode.

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Speaker 4: And specifically she didn't remember. She forgot that he told her.

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Speaker 3: I will say, if Angie and I were engaged and

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Speaker 3: we were playing basketball and she just dunked on me,

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Speaker 3: I might need to take a break and just figure

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Speaker 3: out what my life is.

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Speaker 4: But then if Angie told you, hey, yeah, you remember

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Speaker 4: I played basketball for years, then you'd like, I told

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Speaker 4: you that that's.

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Speaker 1: Not you with their experiences she has.

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Speaker 3: Right now, I'd still probably be like, I need to

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Speaker 3: like rethink everything, but then.

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Speaker 5: It might really basically be a thing where it's like, oh,

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Speaker 5: I just wanted to surprise you, you know, like I

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Speaker 5: feel like.

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Speaker 1: How did you do? Why can I? Why can I

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Speaker 1: not dunk? That's one of the problem.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, exactly, the monster Exactly.

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Speaker 4: Wow, I think she's overreacting. I couldn't bring myself to

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Speaker 4: say that, and told her i'd respect her request and

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Speaker 4: that I was sorry for offending her again. But it's

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Speaker 4: almost been three weeks. Don't marry this woman, and she

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Speaker 4: hasn't contacted me. One of her mutual friends contacted me

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Speaker 4: and said she's been talking grab about me to some

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Speaker 4: other girls. When I decided to open up and tell

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Speaker 4: him how I thought she was being ridiculous, He said

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Speaker 4: she cares way too much about her Instagram and called

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Speaker 4: her arrogant. I'm kind of upset at myself for not

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Speaker 4: telling her how ridiculous she was sounding and just sucking up.

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Speaker 4: But I'm getting worried. We still have engagement plans, but

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Speaker 4: I'm also reconsidering how easily she gets offended over something

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Speaker 4: as small as this. Before I break her no contact

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Speaker 4: and try calling her back. I've really been thinking about

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Speaker 4: this and just need to hear some other opinions. I

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Speaker 4: also want to ask how I should reach out after

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Speaker 4: her request for space to see where we stand with

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Speaker 4: the engagement and our future in general, or if I

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Speaker 4: should even reach out at all, or just wait for

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Speaker 4: her there is an update.

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Speaker 3: I would wait for her to hit you up, and

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Speaker 3: then if it's been two weeks, you might have to

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Speaker 3: break the eyes.

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Speaker 4: I disagree. Honestly, I feel like you're about to marry

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Speaker 4: this woman. I'd be like, hey, we need to talk,

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Speaker 4: or we're not getting married. Honestly, I probably wouldn't marry

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Speaker 4: her anyway, but.

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Speaker 5: Like, honestly say that, Yeah, I feel like this is

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Speaker 5: ridiculous totally.

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Speaker 4: You're not ready for an adult relationship if you're going

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Speaker 4: to ghost me for three weeks, yeah.

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Speaker 5: Because then also, like what kind of environment does that

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Speaker 5: set for the marriage of Like, oh, if I say

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Speaker 5: something that I didn't tell you before, you're gonna be

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Speaker 5: mad at me and give me the silent trip.

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Speaker 4: If you find out I have a cousin in I

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Speaker 4: don't know Canada, are you gonna yeah leave me? It's

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Speaker 4: like you met my cousin. Like that's what it's gonna be. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: you met my cousin. What do you mean you didn't

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Speaker 4: didn't know? Like, that's not my you know, you sent

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Speaker 4: them a baby shower.

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Speaker 5: That's a terrible environment to be and you're just gonna

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Speaker 5: be so anxious and walking on eggshells all the time.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, But there's an update. It's been about a week

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Speaker 4: and she's kind of made the decision to break up

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Speaker 4: on her own. Actually, she went through and made her

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Speaker 4: Splits video on her own, and she actually threw a

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Speaker 4: joke in there about how girls watching should ask their

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Speaker 4: boyfriend if they can do the splits too, and are

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Speaker 4: shy about their talent. Honestly, I found it kind of

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Speaker 4: funny at this point, just to see how petty she

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Speaker 4: was over this. Some of the girls in my friend

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Speaker 4: group who took my side said that my fiance doesn't

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Speaker 4: seem to understand what yoga means, and they happened to

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Speaker 4: do yoga as well. They said she's stupid because she's

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Speaker 4: certified and doesn't understand that yoga isn't a competition but

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Speaker 4: rather a personal journey. She seems to care more about

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Speaker 4: showing off impressive poses on Instagram than actually promoting what

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Speaker 4: yoga is about, and how she's basically body shaming me

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Speaker 4: and that's the opposite of what yoga stands for in

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Speaker 4: their opinion. They also had an issue with the joke

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Speaker 4: she made during the video, specifically with how she told

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Speaker 4: the girls watching to ask their boyfriends if they could

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Speaker 4: do the splits to see if they were hiding it

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Speaker 4: from her. They said that came off as wrong, somewhat sexist,

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Speaker 4: and imature. Sure, they also showed me some of the

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Speaker 4: texts she sent them, stuff about how I'm hiding things

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Speaker 4: from her and why was there I need to hide

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Speaker 4: something as simple as that regarding my gymnastics background. It's

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Speaker 4: like so shocking that she's upset because she forgot about something.

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Speaker 5: Literally even if you didn't know about it. It's like,

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Speaker 5: don't you want to be surprised by your partner, Like

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Speaker 5: if they are twenty three and she already thinks that

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Speaker 5: she wants to know everything about her partner, you.

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Speaker 4: Are setting yourself up for a boring life.

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Speaker 2: Dude.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, new things about people all the time, and it's great,

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Speaker 4: that's what you want. Anyway, Personally, I think it's really dumb.

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Speaker 4: Like this is high school behavior, and maybe not even that,

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Speaker 4: because when I was in high school, some people were petty,

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Speaker 4: but this is just a lot. When I texted her

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Speaker 4: about the wedding and asked her where we stand, I

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Speaker 4: think it's pretty clear she didn't respond. When I texted

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Speaker 4: her again another day, she didn't respond again. When I

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Speaker 4: tried calling her twice on the same days, she didn't

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Speaker 4: respond either. I'm trying, with the help of my parents,

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Speaker 4: to cancel the wedding on our side, she and her

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Speaker 4: parents are not responding, and with the payments they have down,

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Speaker 4: we're nervous about getting looped into something they could hold

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Speaker 4: against us. At this point, I could care less about

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Speaker 4: the ring. I asked my dad if we should go over,

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Speaker 4: but he said it was a bad idea given their behavior.

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Speaker 4: We've talked to the planner, who's had little communication with

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Speaker 4: her family too, and that's pretty much where we are.

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Speaker 4: I called her a few times, and my parents called

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Speaker 4: her parents, but they aren't responding. I want to ask

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Speaker 4: how to get out of the wedding the most safe

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Speaker 4: way possible, with no strings they could hold on us,

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Speaker 4: or if it's possible to cancel it without having to

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Speaker 4: see any of them. Again, my dad is also inquiring

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Speaker 4: how to do this on his own, but I want

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Speaker 4: to ask here too. I could care less about the

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Speaker 4: ring at this point. I also want to say thanks

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Speaker 4: for all the advice. And there is an update four

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Speaker 4: years later. What I'm at? No four year update, dude,

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Speaker 4: what do you think? What do you think?

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Speaker 3: He was the split master and he's just out there

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Speaker 3: splitting in twerking and he is now a successful split in.

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Speaker 4: Oh, I think he should work.

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Speaker 3: In Yeah, he's marking it too. Yeah, and that's what

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Speaker 3: he's doing on Instagram now.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: I don't even know what could happen. I have no like.

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Speaker 4: I think that OPI has gone back to Ariel okay

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Speaker 4: word and he's super famous yeah for Ariel cool and

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Speaker 4: he has a really popular Instagram. Yeah.

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Speaker 5: She then like, oh, we should collab or he starts

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Speaker 5: teaching classes, but she forgets.

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Speaker 2: Who he is.

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Speaker 4: But he because he uses a pseudonym, and he like

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Speaker 4: hides his face because he doesn't want the fame. Update

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Speaker 4: two four years later. You would not believe how many

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Speaker 4: people messaged me in the aftermath of my last post.

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Speaker 4: I put them off for a long time because of

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Speaker 4: everything going on, but hindsight is crazy, especially in the situation.

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Speaker 4: Looking back, I realized I had nothing to apologize for. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: I'm disgusted that I did. I was so desperate to

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Speaker 4: try and work things out that I completely lost myself

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Speaker 4: in the process. I was afraid of becoming single and

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Speaker 4: had these doubts pop up about never finding it forever

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Speaker 4: someone so much that I ignored red flat in other

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Speaker 4: areas of our relationship that aren't worth airing. I think

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Speaker 4: I've since learned that to never be so desperate that

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Speaker 4: you sell your soul for someone. The reason I'm updating

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Speaker 4: is because of something one of her ex girlfriends recently

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Speaker 4: told me that surprised me. One of her ex girlfriends,

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Speaker 4: who said she was wrong about yoga no longer talks

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Speaker 4: to her, told me that my ex has a new

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Speaker 4: series on her yoga Instagram YouTube where she tries something

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Speaker 4: new every video. Like Yogi tries indoor skydiving, she tried

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Speaker 4: aerial arts in one of the videos. It was a

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Speaker 4: vlog where she sat in her home and talked about

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Speaker 4: her experience trying lyra, also known as aeral hoop. She

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Speaker 4: would cut to clips of a sequence she learned in

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Speaker 4: class and likely recorded at the end. Many aerial studios

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Speaker 4: allow students to record the sequence they learned during the

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Speaker 4: last five minutes to remember it or post. Some of

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Speaker 4: her sequences were assisted by an instructor. At my aerial studio,

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Speaker 4: students are allowed to record at the end too, which

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Speaker 4: I still do. While she didn't bring me up specifically,

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Speaker 4: she said she wanted to try aerial straps the apparatus.

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Speaker 4: I told her I trained, but that there was a

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Speaker 4: prerequisite of aerial silks required by the studio. I can

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Speaker 4: attest to certain apparatuses having prerequisites, and in all honesty,

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Speaker 4: her blog was pretty goodoo. Her ex friend sent me

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Speaker 4: a YouTube link because I blocked her on my socials,

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Speaker 4: and she said she might try more classes because she

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Speaker 4: had fun that she brings positive energy instead of the

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Speaker 4: jealousy and insecurity she displayed with me. If our interaction

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Speaker 4: leads to her finding community, perhaps that will be a

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Speaker 4: silver lining from our time together. Many people in ariel

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Speaker 4: and circus come from a gymnastics or dance background, so

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Speaker 4: the added body awareness and flexibility from yoga would help

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Speaker 4: if she were interested. But why did you tell us that?

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Speaker 3: I mean, it is kind of funny, she broke up.

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Speaker 3: With them and then in a roundabout way, started doing

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Speaker 3: whatever he got into, which is kind of funny.

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Speaker 4: I thought there was gonna be something petty, and I'm.

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Speaker 2: Annoyed there is so a little bit lewatty.

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Speaker 4: I'm poudy, I'm angry.

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Speaker 5: I'm very poudy about this. I thought, Okay, cool, she's

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Speaker 5: gonna get hurt.

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Speaker 4: Don't wish that on anyone.

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Speaker 5: But I was just maybe that's why it's brought up

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Speaker 5: right now, because why.

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Speaker 4: Would the ex friends send that?

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Speaker 5: You know?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 4: If I had a friend who texted me four years

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Speaker 4: from now a video of my ex, I don't know,

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Speaker 4: like playing piano, yeah, I'd be like what she's doing that?

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Speaker 4: Like what am I supposed to say? As for me,

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Speaker 4: I haven't found a soulmate yet lol. I dated someone

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Speaker 4: briefly some years after her, but we didn't hit it off.

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Speaker 4: That's life, though, and I'm trying not to worry about

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Speaker 4: never getting married because that's why I stayed with her

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Speaker 4: for so long. Hopefully she's changed for the better after

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Speaker 4: all these years. But I'm trying to focus my energy

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Speaker 4: on work and continuing Aeriel. I've committed more time to

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Speaker 4: forming since we broke up and I'm grateful for the

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Speaker 4: aerial community I have. I'm still in the same studio

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Speaker 4: where I was when we were dating, and many in

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Speaker 4: my studio agreed that she was being insecure back then,

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Speaker 4: to say the least. So while her video was nice,

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Speaker 4: I sincerely hope she's changed for the better, because it

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Speaker 4: only takes one insecure person to make uplifting place feel

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Speaker 4: toxic to others, and I can relate to feeling too

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Speaker 4: depressed to practice. In the immediate aftermath of our.

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Speaker 5: Breakup, my girlfriend demands I risk my job because of

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Speaker 5: her friend's problems.

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Speaker 2: No.

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Speaker 5: I'm mail nineteen work in Target, and we recently received

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Speaker 5: a new store team lead like a GM. In early

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Speaker 5: twenty twenty, a few team members in our store began

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Speaker 5: wearing Equality clothes, is His masks and face coverings, mostly

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Speaker 5: that they bought for themselves and they were not Target brand.

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Speaker 5: A few weeks later, Target began providing us with Target

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Speaker 5: branded Equality T shirts and masks that we were allowed

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Speaker 5: to wear on site, and our old STL store team

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Speaker 5: leader allowed team members to continue to wear the outside

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Speaker 5: brand Equality stuff that people had already bought if they

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Speaker 5: wanted to. But he is no longer here. Now and

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Speaker 5: we have a new STL. By the way, this comes

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Speaker 5: from a throwaway not Sure twenty three and if you

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Speaker 5: want to submit your own stories, go to the r

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Speaker 5: slash Okay story time stup breddit and I am Angie,

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Speaker 5: I'm Sophia, I'm Riley, and Op says our new STL

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Speaker 5: has issued a change since coming on board. He's fully

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Speaker 5: supportive of supporting equality causes, and our team leads have

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Speaker 5: even volunteered with team members at volunteer events as well

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Speaker 5: to support the cause. However, he prefers that we wear

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Speaker 5: Target brand equality clothing instead of outside or homemade stuff,

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Speaker 5: since in the case of a customer potentially having an

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Speaker 5: issue with it, it'll be easier to handle if it's

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Speaker 5: a nationally handed out product compared to something that isn't

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Speaker 5: a part of the dress code.

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Speaker 4: For me, I wore them in rotation with.

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Speaker 5: My other regular work clothes, just like I did during

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Speaker 5: Target's Pride Month shirts on rotation along with our occasional

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Speaker 5: new promotional clothing drops. However, this is where the problem began.

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Speaker 5: I work mostly backroom and my girlfriend female eighteens, works

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Speaker 5: mostly registered. One of her friends has been wearing a

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Speaker 5: BLM T shirt dating back to before our new STL arrived,

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Speaker 5: and from what I've been told, our new SDL talked

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Speaker 5: to him after he continued to wear his own outside

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Speaker 5: face coverings even after he made the announcement about the change. However,

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Speaker 5: even after that talk, he still continued to do it.

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Speaker 5: Is it any of my business? No, He works guest

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Speaker 5: services and I only see him in passing when I

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Speaker 5: bring online orders to the front for a few moments

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Speaker 5: and we don't really talk anyway. However, my girlfriend is

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Speaker 5: more casual with people up front because from the few

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Speaker 5: times I've worked, there's more standing around in dry moments

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Speaker 5: that can provide more time to talk and chill in

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Speaker 5: my opinion, so she is pretty cool with most of

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Speaker 5: the people up there. However, after he received a write

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Speaker 5: up for continuing to do so after being talked to,

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Speaker 5: he apparently told some others, including my girlfriend, that he's

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Speaker 5: being targeted and shouldn't be told how to protest.

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Speaker 4: Personally, I prefer to keep politics out.

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Speaker 5: Of work when it comes to talking to fellow team members,

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Speaker 5: but I do wear the Equality and Pride shirts like

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Speaker 5: anything else, and many others I know do the same thing. However,

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Speaker 5: my girlfriend agrees that he's being targeted, and she told

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Speaker 5: me that she wants to stand with him and protest.

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Speaker 5: I told her that I don't really know the person

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Speaker 5: too well, along with my stance about not talking politics

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Speaker 5: with other team members and most definitely not protesting the

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Speaker 5: place I work at when in my opinion, I don't

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Speaker 5: necessarily agree with him being targeted. We're provided with equality

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Speaker 5: shirts and masks and face coverings, but he's insistent on

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Speaker 5: wearing custom stuff that isn't store branded, even after being

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Speaker 5: talked to, and I disagree with how My girlfriend says

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Speaker 5: that that makes our new STL the R word.

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Speaker 4: Okay, oh wait, well.

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Speaker 5: Okay, that's crazy because we're talking about equality and she's

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Speaker 5: just straight up what, that's great.

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Speaker 4: I'm like, I was like, I had like thoughts and

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Speaker 4: then that just wiped my brain. That's why that's crazy.

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Speaker 4: We needed to pause there. I'm sorry, she's trying to

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Speaker 4: protest quality but is using slur.

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Speaker 5: That's so crazy, dude, Oh my gosh. Okay, well, yeah,

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Speaker 5: the thing is is like, I don't think the new

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Speaker 5: STL is like, no, you aren't allowed to protest. They

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Speaker 5: are literally giving them equality shirts.

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Speaker 4: Okay stuff. I'm all about a good protest. Yeah, you

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Speaker 4: know me, I like a protest. I think protests are important. Sure. However,

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Speaker 4: when you work at a place, you have to be

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Speaker 4: aware that certain forms of protest company is not gonna

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Speaker 4: like yeah, think that what you're protesting for is more

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Speaker 4: important than your job, which it probably is or might be.

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Speaker 4: Then you just have to be prepared to lose your job.

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Speaker 4: You cannot ask other people yeah, who are oh? Rape? Oh?

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Speaker 4: Back to the story.

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Speaker 5: I told her that she's free to do what she chooses,

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Speaker 5: and that it is her opinion and she's allowed to

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Speaker 5: have it like I'm allowed to have mine. But she

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Speaker 5: told me that she wants me to protest alongside her,

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Speaker 5: But I told her that I don't really feel comfortable

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Speaker 5: doing so. I don't consider Target a career job, and

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Speaker 5: I would have left sooner if not for keeping something

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Speaker 5: to have money during the pandemic. But I'm actually in

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Speaker 5: the process of working towards a management position, and the

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Speaker 5: last thing I need is to protest against management. However,

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Speaker 5: she called me selfish for not wanting to support him

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Speaker 5: and quote only looking out for myself, to which I

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Speaker 5: told her it's none of my business what another employee

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Speaker 5: does him When I barely even know him, along with

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Speaker 5: how I'm not going to risk my job during a

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Speaker 5: pandemic when I have to pay for my rent. I

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Speaker 5: live by myself, my car insurance, my gas, and my

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Speaker 5: tuition by myself. M. She doesn't pay for anything, but

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Speaker 5: she's calling me selfish and entitled. Her parents cover her gas,

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Speaker 5: bought her car, pay for her college, and don't charge

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Speaker 5: her rent. And someone else commented last time that quote

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Speaker 5: it's easy to take a stand when you don't have

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Speaker 5: much to live.

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Speaker 4: Yes, it is a very privileged take. Yeah, to say

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Speaker 4: that other people who are not protesting for something that

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Speaker 4: you think is important. I mean, if it's for BLM,

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Speaker 4: that's very important. Sure, it is a very privileged take

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Speaker 4: to say that if you see someone else not protesting

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Speaker 4: the same way that you are, that they are being

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Speaker 4: selfish or don't support the cause. Exactly when you have

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Speaker 4: money and a plan to fall back on if you

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Speaker 4: lose this job, I would say I am in a

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Speaker 4: position where I am able to go to a lot

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Speaker 4: of different protests for things that I believe in because

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Speaker 4: I have more privilege, and that therefore I think that

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Speaker 4: like with that privilege, I want to use that for good. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: but I can't go and tell a mom with four

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Speaker 4: kids that her not showing up to a protest is

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Speaker 4: selfish and hurting the cause. That would be hypocritical and

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Speaker 4: pretty stupid of me. Yeah, so I think that it's

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Speaker 4: unfair for her to expect that from you when she

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Speaker 4: has a totally different situation. I absolutely agree.

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Speaker 5: So I feel like she's shaming me for not putting

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Speaker 5: myself out there with her saying stuff like she's disappointed

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Speaker 5: in me. But I refused to argue with her. Initially,

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Speaker 5: I ended our first conversation by saying that we're allowed

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Speaker 5: to have different opinions and that this was more so

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Speaker 5: her friend than mine, and that while I love and

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Speaker 5: support her currently rethinking our relationship while writing this, it

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Speaker 5: isn't fair for her to say those things because my

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Speaker 5: opinion is different than hers. However, she continued to shame me,

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Speaker 5: so instead of fighting back, I just walked away and

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Speaker 5: decided to go home. Although I didn't consider andy things

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Speaker 5: as of yet, I figured that she was really upset

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Speaker 5: with the current political climate and it was just a

437
00:19:44,480 --> 00:19:47,119
Speaker 5: one night argument, something that couples have and have to

438
00:19:47,160 --> 00:19:48,840
Speaker 5: work through. But when I tried to talk to her

439
00:19:48,880 --> 00:19:51,000
Speaker 5: again a few days later. It didn't go any better,

440
00:19:51,080 --> 00:19:54,080
Speaker 5: and she just repeated her stance and continued to insult me.

441
00:19:54,240 --> 00:19:55,680
Speaker 4: And there are some comments coming.

442
00:19:55,760 --> 00:19:58,640
Speaker 5: Number one says, It isn't like you have to have

443
00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:01,800
Speaker 5: an elaborate break up plan. Just tell her that recent

444
00:20:01,800 --> 00:20:04,199
Speaker 5: events have made you realize that she can't deal with

445
00:20:04,280 --> 00:20:07,160
Speaker 5: disagreements without resorting to name calling and insults, and that

446
00:20:07,320 --> 00:20:08,960
Speaker 5: is not the kind of person you want to be

447
00:20:09,040 --> 00:20:09,959
Speaker 5: in a relationship with.

448
00:20:10,080 --> 00:20:13,320
Speaker 4: So it's over. Opie says, this is my first relationship.

449
00:20:12,840 --> 00:20:14,359
Speaker 5: So I was a little nervous about how to do

450
00:20:14,400 --> 00:20:16,720
Speaker 5: it exactly since we work in the same job, which

451
00:20:17,040 --> 00:20:19,120
Speaker 5: is why it's slightly more weird and something I should

452
00:20:19,119 --> 00:20:22,000
Speaker 5: have also considered maybe earlier too. But it doesn't excuse

453
00:20:22,040 --> 00:20:23,960
Speaker 5: the insults that she gave. Yeah, also she might be

454
00:20:24,040 --> 00:20:26,600
Speaker 5: quitting her drewson, so like, yeah, you'll be good, which

455
00:20:26,640 --> 00:20:27,160
Speaker 5: is her right.

456
00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:29,639
Speaker 4: If you don't want to work for a corporation that

457
00:20:29,760 --> 00:20:33,000
Speaker 4: doesn't support the causes that you believe in, then don't

458
00:20:33,520 --> 00:20:36,280
Speaker 4: I agree, As simple as that. So there is a response.

459
00:20:36,400 --> 00:20:39,359
Speaker 5: As a target worker myself, tell your HR you broke

460
00:20:39,440 --> 00:20:41,840
Speaker 5: up if she's giving you any trouble at work. Or

461
00:20:41,880 --> 00:20:45,120
Speaker 5: even your stl coming Number two says you sound very

462
00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:48,360
Speaker 5: mature and level headed. She sounds very immature and inconsiderate.

463
00:20:48,440 --> 00:20:50,560
Speaker 5: You don't have to go into a hole spiel, but

464
00:20:50,720 --> 00:20:53,000
Speaker 5: you can say something to the effect of you want

465
00:20:53,040 --> 00:20:55,040
Speaker 5: to support your friend, and I understand that. But I

466
00:20:55,080 --> 00:20:57,919
Speaker 5: also understand that you think I'm selfish and that you

467
00:20:58,000 --> 00:20:59,919
Speaker 5: have tried to shame me because I don't see the

468
00:21:00,160 --> 00:21:01,840
Speaker 5: the way you do. The difference between the two of

469
00:21:01,920 --> 00:21:03,720
Speaker 5: us is that you live at home and your mom

470
00:21:03,760 --> 00:21:05,520
Speaker 5: and dad pay for all of your bills. But I

471
00:21:05,560 --> 00:21:07,800
Speaker 5: am an adult and I live on my own and

472
00:21:07,840 --> 00:21:09,960
Speaker 5: I take care of my own bills. I'm not about

473
00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:12,439
Speaker 5: to risk my livelihood because someone else has an opinion

474
00:21:12,520 --> 00:21:15,119
Speaker 5: about what I should think. Since your opinion of me

475
00:21:15,240 --> 00:21:17,360
Speaker 5: is so low, it's best if we end this now.

476
00:21:17,440 --> 00:21:19,080
Speaker 5: Don't be angry when you say it, just say it

477
00:21:19,160 --> 00:21:21,119
Speaker 5: very matter of factly. I think you're making the right

478
00:21:21,200 --> 00:21:22,800
Speaker 5: choice to end this. The last thing you want in

479
00:21:22,840 --> 00:21:25,000
Speaker 5: your life is someone telling you how to think. It's

480
00:21:25,040 --> 00:21:27,159
Speaker 5: so annoying when people do that. And for the record,

481
00:21:27,280 --> 00:21:29,320
Speaker 5: I think your level head would make you a very

482
00:21:29,359 --> 00:21:32,960
Speaker 5: good manager. And we do have an updates. Yeah, oh, boy,

483
00:21:33,119 --> 00:21:34,199
Speaker 5: do you think they're gonna make it?

484
00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:36,800
Speaker 4: I honestly think that they could get out of this

485
00:21:36,880 --> 00:21:39,520
Speaker 4: without breaking up if he came to her and said like, Hey,

486
00:21:40,040 --> 00:21:41,960
Speaker 4: I'm really hurt that you think that, you know, you

487
00:21:41,960 --> 00:21:43,639
Speaker 4: think all these things and have you been saying all

488
00:21:43,680 --> 00:21:45,560
Speaker 4: this stuff right? And like these are the reasons why

489
00:21:45,600 --> 00:21:47,399
Speaker 4: I can't do this, And don't come from like a

490
00:21:47,760 --> 00:21:49,920
Speaker 4: they're your friend, not mine, Just be like I don't

491
00:21:49,920 --> 00:21:52,240
Speaker 4: have the same you know, fallback that you do. I

492
00:21:52,280 --> 00:21:54,800
Speaker 4: don't have the same safety net. Yeah, and like if

493
00:21:54,840 --> 00:21:58,439
Speaker 4: you want to be truly a good activist, you just

494
00:21:58,640 --> 00:22:01,399
Speaker 4: have to understand that people come from different backgrounds and

495
00:22:01,520 --> 00:22:05,000
Speaker 4: different circumstances and have that conversation exactly. She still is

496
00:22:05,040 --> 00:22:07,399
Speaker 4: like what are Then it's over right, but we do

497
00:22:07,480 --> 00:22:08,160
Speaker 4: have an updates.

498
00:22:08,320 --> 00:22:10,480
Speaker 5: So it was after our second talk the follow up

499
00:22:10,520 --> 00:22:12,560
Speaker 5: that I considered ending things, but I wanted to try

500
00:22:12,600 --> 00:22:14,840
Speaker 5: once more, just to have no regrets in thinking that

501
00:22:14,880 --> 00:22:17,480
Speaker 5: I didn't try hard enough. But after her most recent comments,

502
00:22:17,520 --> 00:22:20,200
Speaker 5: I'm just looking for assurance to potentially end things.

503
00:22:20,240 --> 00:22:20,400
Speaker 2: Now.

504
00:22:20,560 --> 00:22:21,280
Speaker 4: When I talk to.

505
00:22:21,280 --> 00:22:23,360
Speaker 5: Her again, I told her that I want to work

506
00:22:23,400 --> 00:22:26,000
Speaker 5: through our disagreement like adults, and that shaming has no

507
00:22:26,160 --> 00:22:29,360
Speaker 5: place from me or from her, along with how I

508
00:22:29,480 --> 00:22:31,399
Speaker 5: do support the cause if she doesn't think I do,

509
00:22:31,600 --> 00:22:34,399
Speaker 5: and that I have worn the Equality in Pride d

510
00:22:34,560 --> 00:22:37,360
Speaker 5: shirts on many occasions. But she told me that it's

511
00:22:37,400 --> 00:22:40,520
Speaker 5: easy to wear Pride shirts because people haven't been through

512
00:22:40,560 --> 00:22:43,920
Speaker 5: anything compared to black people. Oh and that comment really

513
00:22:43,920 --> 00:22:45,879
Speaker 5: put me off and made me think that she wasn't

514
00:22:45,960 --> 00:22:46,960
Speaker 5: able to be reasoned with.

515
00:22:47,119 --> 00:22:48,880
Speaker 4: There's a little bit more to the story. I say,

516
00:22:48,880 --> 00:22:50,560
Speaker 4: we just roll right there. Yeah, I have a few.

517
00:22:50,400 --> 00:22:52,439
Speaker 5: Friends that are that she knows and has meant on

518
00:22:52,520 --> 00:22:55,360
Speaker 5: numerous occasions, and to hear her say something like that

519
00:22:55,440 --> 00:22:57,320
Speaker 5: just set me off. I don't know if she thinks

520
00:22:57,359 --> 00:22:58,600
Speaker 5: that she's testing.

521
00:22:58,240 --> 00:22:59,800
Speaker 4: Me, or what in the world made her.

522
00:22:59,680 --> 00:23:02,080
Speaker 5: Flip on this all of a sudden when her friend

523
00:23:02,160 --> 00:23:03,240
Speaker 5: is in hot water.

524
00:23:03,160 --> 00:23:05,120
Speaker 4: And we have nothing to do with it.

525
00:23:05,440 --> 00:23:07,880
Speaker 5: But I don't know. Maybe she has a thing for him.

526
00:23:07,960 --> 00:23:10,480
Speaker 5: I don't know either. I'm just confused and tired and

527
00:23:10,520 --> 00:23:12,199
Speaker 5: a bit angry, to be real with you, and I

528
00:23:12,359 --> 00:23:14,600
Speaker 5: just want to ask how I should go about endy

529
00:23:14,680 --> 00:23:17,560
Speaker 5: things with her or not if someone has a better

530
00:23:17,600 --> 00:23:19,920
Speaker 5: idea than me. But at this point I'm struggling to

531
00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:22,520
Speaker 5: understand why she's getting so worked up about someone else's

532
00:23:22,520 --> 00:23:25,200
Speaker 5: business that isn't our own. And she said that I'm

533
00:23:25,280 --> 00:23:28,640
Speaker 5: no better than our new stl for agreeing with him.

534
00:23:28,720 --> 00:23:30,800
Speaker 5: What should I do about her in this situation? I

535
00:23:30,800 --> 00:23:32,840
Speaker 5: already know, but I'll take whatever advice I can get

536
00:23:32,880 --> 00:23:34,399
Speaker 5: on how to potentially end thing.

537
00:23:34,560 --> 00:23:35,239
Speaker 1: Hey, it's John here.

538
00:23:35,280 --> 00:23:37,000
Speaker 6: We're gonna get back to this episode, but a quick

539
00:23:37,040 --> 00:23:39,000
Speaker 6: three minute break with aswer more sponsors.

540
00:23:39,359 --> 00:23:43,520
Speaker 4: My boyfriend's mother doesn't like me anymore. Aw Man, My

541
00:23:43,800 --> 00:23:46,800
Speaker 4: twenty two female boyfriend's twenty three male mom I think

542
00:23:46,840 --> 00:23:50,160
Speaker 4: fifties no longer likes me. I've been dating her son

543
00:23:50,240 --> 00:23:51,960
Speaker 4: for over a year and met her a little before

544
00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:55,040
Speaker 4: Christmas last year. I've always been respectful, even called her

545
00:23:55,080 --> 00:23:57,840
Speaker 4: mam and his dad's sir until they told me to stop.

546
00:23:57,880 --> 00:23:59,840
Speaker 4: By the way, this comes from Jade Goddess, and you

547
00:23:59,840 --> 00:24:01,840
Speaker 4: can submit your own stories on the r slash Okay

548
00:24:01,880 --> 00:24:05,280
Speaker 4: storytime severed it. I'm Sophia, I'm Angie.

549
00:24:04,800 --> 00:24:06,000
Speaker 1: And I'm Riley, and.

550
00:24:06,160 --> 00:24:10,680
Speaker 4: Op says the issue is with my parents. My dad

551
00:24:10,760 --> 00:24:14,280
Speaker 4: is manipulative, my mom is a enabler, but they're paying

552
00:24:14,320 --> 00:24:17,600
Speaker 4: my tuition and becoming a doctor isn't cheap. No, it

553
00:24:17,640 --> 00:24:21,359
Speaker 4: isn't wow yet. Nope. Anna, my boyfriend's mom wasn't happy

554
00:24:21,400 --> 00:24:23,399
Speaker 4: that I didn't tell my parents about us moving in

555
00:24:23,560 --> 00:24:27,000
Speaker 4: together back in May. The reason my parents are old school.

556
00:24:27,200 --> 00:24:28,879
Speaker 4: They don't think I should live with any man but

557
00:24:29,000 --> 00:24:31,600
Speaker 4: my husband. I tested the waters with my mom, since

558
00:24:31,600 --> 00:24:34,719
Speaker 4: she isn't always bad. I told her about sleepovers at

559
00:24:34,760 --> 00:24:37,480
Speaker 4: my boyfriend's house and she wasn't happy. But she didn't

560
00:24:37,480 --> 00:24:39,439
Speaker 4: tell my dad because she didn't want to deal with

561
00:24:39,480 --> 00:24:42,120
Speaker 4: his anger. I'm not comfortable telling my parents about living

562
00:24:42,160 --> 00:24:45,080
Speaker 4: with my boyfriend, and honestly, I don't think it's their business.

563
00:24:45,280 --> 00:24:47,880
Speaker 4: When Anna asked why I didn't tell them, I was honest.

564
00:24:48,080 --> 00:24:50,960
Speaker 4: I'm scared my dad will blackmail me with tuition money

565
00:24:51,119 --> 00:24:54,000
Speaker 4: and make me choose between my boyfriend and my dream career.

566
00:24:54,160 --> 00:24:57,120
Speaker 4: I don't want to choose. I want both. Anna wasn't

567
00:24:57,119 --> 00:25:00,600
Speaker 4: comfortable with my decision, but said she understood once I

568
00:25:00,640 --> 00:25:02,840
Speaker 4: found another way to pay for school, i'd tell them

569
00:25:02,960 --> 00:25:06,159
Speaker 4: since they'd have nothing to use against me. She seems satisfied.

570
00:25:06,240 --> 00:25:08,520
Speaker 4: About a month later, my boyfriend told me Anna thinks

571
00:25:08,560 --> 00:25:11,520
Speaker 4: I'm not telling my parents so i'd have a safety net.

572
00:25:11,560 --> 00:25:13,920
Speaker 4: If we broke up, I told my boyfriend I'd rather

573
00:25:14,000 --> 00:25:16,240
Speaker 4: live in my car than go back to my parents' house.

574
00:25:16,520 --> 00:25:19,480
Speaker 4: Last weekend, Anna went off on me, saying I'm disrespecting

575
00:25:19,480 --> 00:25:21,760
Speaker 4: her and her son. I'll admit work was stressing me

576
00:25:21,800 --> 00:25:24,760
Speaker 4: out and I was easily agitated when my boyfriend accidentally

577
00:25:24,840 --> 00:25:28,040
Speaker 4: pushed my buttons. But I apologized many times and told

578
00:25:28,080 --> 00:25:29,800
Speaker 4: him I'd do anything to make it up to him

579
00:25:29,800 --> 00:25:32,200
Speaker 4: because it was wrong to take my stress out on him.

580
00:25:32,440 --> 00:25:36,560
Speaker 4: I never yelled, hit him or called him names. I

581
00:25:36,760 --> 00:25:39,320
Speaker 4: just shut down, went upset and cried by myself. My

582
00:25:39,400 --> 00:25:42,399
Speaker 4: boyfriend told me what to do. I did it, and

583
00:25:42,440 --> 00:25:44,840
Speaker 4: he forgave me. Anna texted me about this, and I

584
00:25:44,880 --> 00:25:48,600
Speaker 4: showed my boyfriend and cried. Family means everything to him,

585
00:25:48,680 --> 00:25:51,600
Speaker 4: so hearing his mom say these things was like the

586
00:25:51,680 --> 00:25:54,040
Speaker 4: old one too to the gut, especially since I've been

587
00:25:54,080 --> 00:25:56,480
Speaker 4: nothing but nice to her. I understand she didn't like

588
00:25:56,560 --> 00:25:58,920
Speaker 4: me taking stress on her son, but she was still

589
00:25:58,960 --> 00:26:01,200
Speaker 4: mad about the parents that you were to that point

590
00:26:01,280 --> 00:26:04,119
Speaker 4: should be dropped considering I'm still dependent on my parents

591
00:26:04,119 --> 00:26:06,960
Speaker 4: for school, and Anna said education is super important. My

592
00:26:07,040 --> 00:26:09,160
Speaker 4: boyfriend told me not to talk to her and called

593
00:26:09,200 --> 00:26:12,000
Speaker 4: her himself. She lectured him and gave an ultimatum, either

594
00:26:12,040 --> 00:26:14,919
Speaker 4: I tell my parents or she no longer recognizes us

595
00:26:14,960 --> 00:26:18,200
Speaker 4: as a real couple. Why are you involving yourself? That's

596
00:26:18,200 --> 00:26:21,800
Speaker 4: so frustrating. I'm really confused. I'm not gonna lie. Okay,

597
00:26:21,800 --> 00:26:25,119
Speaker 4: So Anna is Opie's boyfriend's mom. Okay, corio Esca says, easy.

598
00:26:25,160 --> 00:26:26,679
Speaker 4: Tell them you're going to drop out of UNI to

599
00:26:26,680 --> 00:26:30,399
Speaker 4: marry the boyfriend. They'll compromise. Yeah, Oh wait, we actually

600
00:26:30,480 --> 00:26:32,280
Speaker 4: want you to go to school. I understand she didn't

601
00:26:32,320 --> 00:26:34,480
Speaker 4: like me taking stress out on her son, but she

602
00:26:34,600 --> 00:26:37,160
Speaker 4: was still mad about the parents situation too. That point

603
00:26:37,160 --> 00:26:40,040
Speaker 4: should be dropped, considering I'm still dependent on my parents

604
00:26:40,040 --> 00:26:42,919
Speaker 4: for school and Anna said education is super important. My

605
00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:44,880
Speaker 4: boyfriend told me not to talk to her and called

606
00:26:44,880 --> 00:26:47,640
Speaker 4: her himself. She lectured him and gave an ultimatum, either

607
00:26:47,680 --> 00:26:50,679
Speaker 4: I tell my parents or she no longer recognizes us

608
00:26:50,720 --> 00:26:53,879
Speaker 4: as a real couple. She's putting unnecessary stress on a relationship.

609
00:26:53,920 --> 00:26:56,920
Speaker 4: I thought since her ex husband was harmful, she'd understand

610
00:26:56,920 --> 00:27:00,000
Speaker 4: me not wanting to provoke more for my family. Because

611
00:27:00,040 --> 00:27:02,760
Speaker 4: Anna matters to my boyfriend, I'm willing to try fixing

612
00:27:02,760 --> 00:27:04,840
Speaker 4: her issue with me so she can accept me. What

613
00:27:04,880 --> 00:27:08,040
Speaker 4: do you suggest edit my boyfriend does stand up for me.

614
00:27:08,320 --> 00:27:10,720
Speaker 4: He told Anna she was being disrespectful that he's a

615
00:27:10,720 --> 00:27:12,920
Speaker 4: grown adult who can make his own choices. She can

616
00:27:12,960 --> 00:27:15,159
Speaker 4: have opinions, but she can't share them with him or me.

617
00:27:15,320 --> 00:27:17,000
Speaker 4: I mean I would have told her, Peter block Anna,

618
00:27:17,080 --> 00:27:21,679
Speaker 4: because why is she texting your girlfriend literally about the

619
00:27:21,720 --> 00:27:24,800
Speaker 4: circumstances under which you guys can be together. I'd be like, Mom,

620
00:27:24,880 --> 00:27:27,159
Speaker 4: you need to like never text my girlfriend again. Please,

621
00:27:27,440 --> 00:27:28,280
Speaker 4: It's just so weird.

622
00:27:28,359 --> 00:27:31,320
Speaker 5: It's like, don't get involved in my family's drama. No,

623
00:27:31,600 --> 00:27:34,560
Speaker 5: like because then in one case, it's like, Okay, if

624
00:27:34,640 --> 00:27:36,879
Speaker 5: I don't tell them, then she'll.

625
00:27:36,520 --> 00:27:37,560
Speaker 4: Make us break up.

626
00:27:37,720 --> 00:27:40,800
Speaker 5: Yeah, when we're two adults living apart from her. But

627
00:27:40,840 --> 00:27:44,160
Speaker 5: if I do tell, then my parents possibly won't even

628
00:27:44,200 --> 00:27:46,439
Speaker 5: pay for my tuition and will maybe make us break up.

629
00:27:46,560 --> 00:27:49,680
Speaker 4: However that works. It is literally up to Opie and

630
00:27:49,760 --> 00:27:52,920
Speaker 4: her boyfriend whether or not he's okay with her keeping

631
00:27:52,920 --> 00:27:55,280
Speaker 4: the secret from her parents. Yeah, she doesn't even like.

632
00:27:55,400 --> 00:27:58,280
Speaker 5: Yeah, and can we lie? To Anna like can we lie?

633
00:27:58,440 --> 00:27:58,680
Speaker 3: Yeah?

634
00:27:58,880 --> 00:28:02,000
Speaker 5: He yeah, he told yeah, because there's no reason that

635
00:28:02,040 --> 00:28:04,880
Speaker 5: they would have each other's phone numbers if Ohpie's parents

636
00:28:04,920 --> 00:28:06,240
Speaker 5: didn't know, right, he.

637
00:28:06,160 --> 00:28:08,400
Speaker 4: Doesn't care if she likes me because we love each

638
00:28:08,400 --> 00:28:10,160
Speaker 4: other and I'm part of his family now. He said,

639
00:28:10,160 --> 00:28:13,200
Speaker 4: he won't ask for her approval and her opinion doesn't matter.

640
00:28:13,400 --> 00:28:15,880
Speaker 4: Since he feels this way, maybe I don't need distress

641
00:28:15,880 --> 00:28:18,320
Speaker 4: about this anymore. I just got home and we talked

642
00:28:18,320 --> 00:28:20,919
Speaker 4: about his conversation with his mom. I only focused on

643
00:28:21,040 --> 00:28:24,080
Speaker 4: Anna and me because that's where the conflict is coming from.

644
00:28:24,119 --> 00:28:27,320
Speaker 4: And there are some comments. Comment one says, girl, you

645
00:28:27,320 --> 00:28:29,840
Speaker 4: don't have a parent problem, You have a boyfriend problem.

646
00:28:30,080 --> 00:28:32,320
Speaker 4: Let him go back to his mother. She's spending way

647
00:28:32,320 --> 00:28:34,520
Speaker 4: too much time in your business. If you need him

648
00:28:34,560 --> 00:28:36,480
Speaker 4: for the rent, get a roommate. There are plenty of

649
00:28:36,560 --> 00:28:38,720
Speaker 4: reasons for a parent to have an opinion or get

650
00:28:38,760 --> 00:28:41,440
Speaker 4: involved in a child's life. This is not one that

651
00:28:41,480 --> 00:28:43,120
Speaker 4: should concern your boyfriend's mom.

652
00:28:43,400 --> 00:28:43,840
Speaker 2: Let him go.

653
00:28:44,280 --> 00:28:47,000
Speaker 4: Opie says, I can understand your point, but I don't

654
00:28:47,000 --> 00:28:49,760
Speaker 4: think my boyfriend is the problem. He's always had my back.

655
00:28:49,960 --> 00:28:51,800
Speaker 4: I'll admit I was worried that he would submit to

656
00:28:51,840 --> 00:28:53,840
Speaker 4: his mom and let her control him, but he's talked

657
00:28:53,880 --> 00:28:56,560
Speaker 4: to her multiple times over the past few days. He

658
00:28:56,600 --> 00:28:59,360
Speaker 4: said he doesn't approve of her giving him an ultimatum,

659
00:28:59,480 --> 00:29:01,360
Speaker 4: and he told so that she can have her opinions,

660
00:29:01,440 --> 00:29:03,880
Speaker 4: but she can keep them to herself because he loves

661
00:29:03,920 --> 00:29:07,400
Speaker 4: me and I've shown him love and kindness. He told me,

662
00:29:07,440 --> 00:29:09,440
Speaker 4: if she's got to make him pick, he picks me.

663
00:29:09,840 --> 00:29:11,680
Speaker 4: I did explain that I don't want to come between

664
00:29:11,720 --> 00:29:14,240
Speaker 4: him and his mom because I understand he loves his family,

665
00:29:14,360 --> 00:29:16,880
Speaker 4: But he said, I'm not making him choose. His mom

666
00:29:17,040 --> 00:29:20,320
Speaker 4: is and that's a her problem. But thank you so

667
00:29:20,440 --> 00:29:23,320
Speaker 4: much for your input. Comment two says, sweetheart, Anna is

668
00:29:23,360 --> 00:29:26,600
Speaker 4: being manipulative and toxic. Your boyfriend needs to stop being

669
00:29:26,600 --> 00:29:29,440
Speaker 4: a mama's boy and telling her information about your relationship

670
00:29:29,440 --> 00:29:31,760
Speaker 4: that has nothing to do with her. I somehow think

671
00:29:31,760 --> 00:29:33,600
Speaker 4: that this is not going to be a good long

672
00:29:33,680 --> 00:29:39,320
Speaker 4: term relationship. Your boyfriend cares way too much what mummy thinks.

673
00:29:39,720 --> 00:29:41,840
Speaker 4: I doubt he'd protect you against her. You need to

674
00:29:41,840 --> 00:29:44,720
Speaker 4: have a serious talk with your boyfriend. Opie says, I

675
00:29:44,760 --> 00:29:46,760
Speaker 4: can bring this up when we go to therapy. We

676
00:29:46,840 --> 00:29:49,440
Speaker 4: got a therapist recently to help with our communication. I

677
00:29:49,480 --> 00:29:52,040
Speaker 4: feel he has stood up to me. I only mentioned

678
00:29:52,080 --> 00:29:54,880
Speaker 4: her side and my side because I was concerned about us,

679
00:29:55,400 --> 00:29:57,800
Speaker 4: not the three of us. My boyfriend told Anna that

680
00:29:57,840 --> 00:30:00,640
Speaker 4: she's being disrespectful towards me, but if she wants to

681
00:30:00,680 --> 00:30:03,240
Speaker 4: force him to pick sides, he'll choose me that if

682
00:30:03,240 --> 00:30:05,000
Speaker 4: she wants him in her life, she'll have to keep

683
00:30:05,000 --> 00:30:08,000
Speaker 4: an open mind and be kind. She can have her opinions,

684
00:30:08,040 --> 00:30:10,080
Speaker 4: but she can't share them with him and me. I'm

685
00:30:10,120 --> 00:30:12,680
Speaker 4: sorry I didn't mention his POV. I was focused on

686
00:30:12,720 --> 00:30:14,640
Speaker 4: me and Anna with the post and edit. Do you

687
00:30:14,640 --> 00:30:16,800
Speaker 4: have suggestions I could advise him of? He said he

688
00:30:16,920 --> 00:30:19,880
Speaker 4: sometimes vents to his mom. He should stop doing that. Yeah,

689
00:30:19,920 --> 00:30:22,640
Speaker 4: it concerns you. I understand the need to vent, and

690
00:30:22,680 --> 00:30:25,360
Speaker 4: I sometimes vent to my best friend or to Reddit.

691
00:30:25,520 --> 00:30:27,560
Speaker 4: What can I suggest he does so he doesn't have

692
00:30:27,640 --> 00:30:29,800
Speaker 4: to talk to his mom. I thought about a therapist,

693
00:30:29,800 --> 00:30:31,960
Speaker 4: but things are backed up. I'm using Reddit for help

694
00:30:32,040 --> 00:30:34,680
Speaker 4: until the clinics call me back. Everyone is booked up

695
00:30:34,680 --> 00:30:37,360
Speaker 4: like crazy and there is an update. I genuinely think

696
00:30:37,400 --> 00:30:39,760
Speaker 4: if his mom is going to continue to harass you,

697
00:30:40,040 --> 00:30:41,840
Speaker 4: then you have to tell him that he can't give

698
00:30:41,840 --> 00:30:43,920
Speaker 4: out personal information about your life to her.

699
00:30:44,040 --> 00:30:44,240
Speaker 2: Yeah.

700
00:30:44,360 --> 00:30:47,120
Speaker 5: I feel like that is hopefully understandable. Like it wouldn't

701
00:30:47,120 --> 00:30:49,040
Speaker 5: even need to come off as like you know, oh,

702
00:30:49,080 --> 00:30:52,000
Speaker 5: you can't do this, like you can't share this information.

703
00:30:52,040 --> 00:30:53,840
Speaker 5: I feel like you, yeah, you'd be able to tell

704
00:30:53,920 --> 00:30:56,400
Speaker 5: him that with just like hey, like I don't think

705
00:30:56,400 --> 00:30:58,320
Speaker 5: it's the best idea to do that.

706
00:30:58,440 --> 00:31:01,680
Speaker 4: Because of everything we've already seen exactly.

707
00:31:02,120 --> 00:31:04,640
Speaker 5: So yeah, I feel like definitely talking about that. I

708
00:31:04,640 --> 00:31:07,160
Speaker 5: feel like you guys can come to a conclusion on that.

709
00:31:07,240 --> 00:31:09,840
Speaker 5: I'm sure he'd understand because it's not like he's doing

710
00:31:09,880 --> 00:31:12,080
Speaker 5: nothing like some of oh, some of those comments.

711
00:31:11,800 --> 00:31:13,560
Speaker 4: Were like he needs to suck it up. I think

712
00:31:13,560 --> 00:31:15,040
Speaker 4: that some comments were unfair.

713
00:31:15,200 --> 00:31:18,440
Speaker 5: Yeah, because he absolutely understands that this is wrong. He is,

714
00:31:18,600 --> 00:31:20,760
Speaker 5: you know, trying to separate op from it and is like, no,

715
00:31:21,200 --> 00:31:23,400
Speaker 5: let me talk to her like, you know, which is great,

716
00:31:23,440 --> 00:31:25,960
Speaker 5: which a lot of these new Toast Spine people we

717
00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:26,680
Speaker 5: see don't do.

718
00:31:27,080 --> 00:31:28,960
Speaker 4: I agree, he's doing it, so that's great. Also, I

719
00:31:28,960 --> 00:31:32,080
Speaker 4: think this is somewhat of a newer problem, to be clear,

720
00:31:32,400 --> 00:31:34,840
Speaker 4: so like he's kind of having to figure out how

721
00:31:34,880 --> 00:31:37,480
Speaker 4: to deal with this, you know, on the fly, because

722
00:31:38,000 --> 00:31:41,000
Speaker 4: Anna and Opie had a good relationship before this, right

723
00:31:41,280 --> 00:31:43,640
Speaker 4: she said that, So it's like, yeah, give them I

724
00:31:43,640 --> 00:31:45,600
Speaker 4: would give him a minute. Yeah, I don't think this

725
00:31:45,680 --> 00:31:48,880
Speaker 4: is a breakup yet. Update. I can't remember everything I

726
00:31:48,920 --> 00:31:51,680
Speaker 4: said in comments last time, but people were concerned about

727
00:31:51,680 --> 00:31:53,920
Speaker 4: my boyfriend not standing up for me because of what

728
00:31:54,000 --> 00:31:56,960
Speaker 4: his mom was saying. She has called me disrespectful towards

729
00:31:57,240 --> 00:32:00,000
Speaker 4: her and her son and said she wouldn't recognize us.

730
00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:03,200
Speaker 4: It's official because I was hiding our living situation from

731
00:32:03,280 --> 00:32:06,400
Speaker 4: my parents. Last Saturday, we invited them over for dinner

732
00:32:06,440 --> 00:32:08,880
Speaker 4: because his mom kept complaining she never got to see

733
00:32:08,880 --> 00:32:12,200
Speaker 4: the abarment completely disregarding that my boyfriend and I weren't

734
00:32:12,240 --> 00:32:15,480
Speaker 4: ready for guests, I suggested inviting her over to shut

735
00:32:15,480 --> 00:32:17,640
Speaker 4: her up about it and give her more information about

736
00:32:17,640 --> 00:32:21,280
Speaker 4: my situation before this mess. She seems so loving and caring.

737
00:32:21,600 --> 00:32:23,920
Speaker 4: It was jarring to see her do a complete one eighty.

738
00:32:24,160 --> 00:32:26,840
Speaker 4: My boyfriend had my back the whole way. When his

739
00:32:26,880 --> 00:32:30,040
Speaker 4: mom called me disrespectful, he called her out and told

740
00:32:30,080 --> 00:32:33,320
Speaker 4: her she couldn't disrespect me and to keep her unasked

741
00:32:33,400 --> 00:32:36,520
Speaker 4: opinions to herself at dinner. He was a buffer to

742
00:32:36,560 --> 00:32:38,560
Speaker 4: make sure she wouldn't go off on me. She did

743
00:32:38,640 --> 00:32:40,520
Speaker 4: listen to what I had to say. I gave her

744
00:32:40,520 --> 00:32:43,560
Speaker 4: more details about things my dad has done and how

745
00:32:43,600 --> 00:32:45,760
Speaker 4: my parents won't approve of me living with a man

746
00:32:45,840 --> 00:32:48,040
Speaker 4: I'm not married to. I also told her what I

747
00:32:48,080 --> 00:32:50,320
Speaker 4: said before was still true. If I found another way

748
00:32:50,360 --> 00:32:52,680
Speaker 4: to pay for university, I'd have no reason to lie

749
00:32:52,720 --> 00:32:55,560
Speaker 4: about my living arrangements. My boyfriend and friends agree it's

750
00:32:55,600 --> 00:32:58,240
Speaker 4: none of his mom's business what I tell my parents,

751
00:32:58,400 --> 00:33:01,200
Speaker 4: but I was trying to go with kindness instead of

752
00:33:01,240 --> 00:33:03,520
Speaker 4: going off on her. His mom has a bad history

753
00:33:03,520 --> 00:33:06,160
Speaker 4: with her ex husband, so I thought she'd understand me.

754
00:33:06,360 --> 00:33:08,880
Speaker 4: She said she did understand and told me to take

755
00:33:08,960 --> 00:33:13,600
Speaker 4: out student loans instead of accepting tuition money from my parents.

756
00:33:14,040 --> 00:33:20,400
Speaker 4: Crazy crazy as a parent, crazy advice to be in

757
00:33:20,480 --> 00:33:24,600
Speaker 4: debt rather than not be in debt. Yeah, this is crazy.

758
00:33:24,640 --> 00:33:28,920
Speaker 5: I like really try and understand her perspective because I'm

759
00:33:28,920 --> 00:33:30,680
Speaker 5: well because I kind of read ahead a little bit.

760
00:33:30,720 --> 00:33:33,560
Speaker 5: But she obviously doesn't want like the parents to be

761
00:33:33,680 --> 00:33:36,240
Speaker 5: like taken advantage of with their money in some cases,

762
00:33:36,320 --> 00:33:38,920
Speaker 5: like okay, that's it's more complicated than that, Like what

763
00:33:39,080 --> 00:33:41,400
Speaker 5: like ridiculous, there's you know, it's just weird.

764
00:33:41,440 --> 00:33:42,080
Speaker 4: It's like it's this.

765
00:33:42,160 --> 00:33:45,160
Speaker 5: Mom afraid of that happening to her or something like that.

766
00:33:45,200 --> 00:33:48,760
Speaker 4: Like no idea. She said I was stealing from them

767
00:33:48,960 --> 00:33:50,960
Speaker 4: and they could sue me if they found out I lied.

768
00:33:51,480 --> 00:33:52,920
Speaker 5: No, they can't, I don't think.

769
00:33:53,000 --> 00:33:55,440
Speaker 4: So I asked how they could sue me for using

770
00:33:55,440 --> 00:33:57,920
Speaker 4: money they gave me for tuition. She said, because they

771
00:33:57,960 --> 00:34:00,320
Speaker 4: think I'm living with a girl instead of my boy friend.

772
00:34:00,400 --> 00:34:02,239
Speaker 4: They can sue for the money since they didn't give

773
00:34:02,280 --> 00:34:05,160
Speaker 4: it as a gift. At this point, I realized she's

774
00:34:05,200 --> 00:34:07,640
Speaker 4: not the sharpest tool in the shed and just wanted

775
00:34:07,640 --> 00:34:10,120
Speaker 4: her to leave. So I stopped talking and listened to

776
00:34:10,160 --> 00:34:13,040
Speaker 4: his parents give their input. My boyfriend and friends don't

777
00:34:13,120 --> 00:34:16,560
Speaker 4: understand what she's talking about. None of us are lawyers,

778
00:34:16,600 --> 00:34:19,200
Speaker 4: but she claims she's seen it happen before. Set your

779
00:34:19,200 --> 00:34:23,840
Speaker 4: sources too, when this makes no sense to me. My

780
00:34:23,920 --> 00:34:26,799
Speaker 4: boyfriend supports my decision not to take out loans if

781
00:34:26,840 --> 00:34:29,040
Speaker 4: I can help it. He has loans and doesn't want

782
00:34:29,040 --> 00:34:31,280
Speaker 4: me to have debt too. Do you have any final thoughts?

783
00:34:31,440 --> 00:34:32,719
Speaker 5: She doesn't know what she's talking about.

784
00:34:32,800 --> 00:34:35,839
Speaker 4: She doesn't have a gosh dang clue.

785
00:34:35,560 --> 00:34:37,839
Speaker 3: What she's talking I bet you she wishes she has

786
00:34:37,880 --> 00:34:39,959
Speaker 3: the money so she could have the power over op

787
00:34:40,160 --> 00:34:41,240
Speaker 3: to do whatever she wants.

788
00:34:41,640 --> 00:34:44,600
Speaker 5: Yeah, she's just like, oh my gosh, OHP's gonna do

789
00:34:44,680 --> 00:34:47,719
Speaker 5: this to me someday, or like I am having no control.

790
00:34:48,000 --> 00:34:50,839
Speaker 5: I wish I had this money to hang over their head.

791
00:34:51,400 --> 00:34:54,560
Speaker 5: Yeah it's so silly. Yeah, it's very sill.

792
00:34:55,200 --> 00:34:58,640
Speaker 4: But there's a little bit left, Yes there is. I'm

793
00:34:58,719 --> 00:35:01,880
Speaker 4: done discussing this with her. I only explain myself, so

794
00:35:01,960 --> 00:35:04,279
Speaker 4: I can't say I didn't try to fix things. I

795
00:35:04,360 --> 00:35:07,200
Speaker 4: was being extremely nice for my boyfriend's sake because I

796
00:35:07,200 --> 00:35:09,360
Speaker 4: don't want to make him choose between me and his mom.

797
00:35:09,600 --> 00:35:12,759
Speaker 4: His mom already gave him that ultimatum weeks ago, and

798
00:35:12,840 --> 00:35:16,279
Speaker 4: he chose me. We love each other, and she isn't

799
00:35:16,360 --> 00:35:19,959
Speaker 4: changing that. My boyfriend has been amazing. He's had my back,

800
00:35:20,239 --> 00:35:23,400
Speaker 4: supported me, and agrees his mom wasn't giving good advice.

801
00:35:23,680 --> 00:35:26,319
Speaker 4: I've done my due diligence, and if she oversteps in

802
00:35:26,360 --> 00:35:29,239
Speaker 4: the future, I'll make my boundaries clear and she can

803
00:35:29,320 --> 00:35:32,320
Speaker 4: either respect them or leave me alone. We have a

804
00:35:32,400 --> 00:35:35,279
Speaker 4: vacation already paid for in July twenty twenty two with

805
00:35:35,400 --> 00:35:38,239
Speaker 4: his parents, aunt and cousins. My boyfriend and I are

806
00:35:38,320 --> 00:35:41,160
Speaker 4: seeing couples therapists who thinks for doing well. Maybe if

807
00:35:41,200 --> 00:35:43,560
Speaker 4: his mom still has issues, she can come to therapy.

808
00:35:43,760 --> 00:35:46,440
Speaker 4: Right now, I'm focusing on myself and my relationship with

809
00:35:46,480 --> 00:35:49,200
Speaker 4: my boyfriend because those are what's important in my life,

810
00:35:49,480 --> 00:35:52,200
Speaker 4: not other people's opinions. Common one says, I'm not a

811
00:35:52,239 --> 00:35:54,760
Speaker 4: civil law attorney, but I am a family law attorney.

812
00:35:54,800 --> 00:35:56,279
Speaker 4: I don't know where you live, so there may be

813
00:35:56,360 --> 00:35:59,239
Speaker 4: some very weird statute in your jurisdiction. But I am

814
00:35:59,320 --> 00:36:02,640
Speaker 4: ninety nine per certain that she is a incorrect about

815
00:36:02,680 --> 00:36:05,359
Speaker 4: your parents being able to sue you. Be aware that

816
00:36:05,400 --> 00:36:07,719
Speaker 4: she's incorrect and just trying to scare you into doing

817
00:36:07,760 --> 00:36:10,520
Speaker 4: what she wants. See kind of a clown. I am

818
00:36:10,520 --> 00:36:12,200
Speaker 4: a lawyer, but I'm not your lawyer, and this is

819
00:36:12,239 --> 00:36:13,040
Speaker 4: not legal advice.

820
00:36:13,320 --> 00:36:15,080
Speaker 1: Hey, it's Sam. We're going to get back to these stories.

821
00:36:15,120 --> 00:36:17,120
Speaker 4: But here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors.

822
00:36:17,680 --> 00:36:20,640
Speaker 3: My boss used to be my best friend, so she

823
00:36:20,760 --> 00:36:22,440
Speaker 3: became my worst nightmare.

824
00:36:22,600 --> 00:36:25,000
Speaker 2: A tale ass, oldest time.

825
00:36:25,360 --> 00:36:26,800
Speaker 1: Trigger warning verbally.

826
00:36:27,280 --> 00:36:30,400
Speaker 3: Also, this comes from one of our family members of

827
00:36:30,440 --> 00:36:32,440
Speaker 3: our slash Okay story time Freaking sub.

828
00:36:32,239 --> 00:36:33,880
Speaker 2: Breanded today from the fam.

829
00:36:34,000 --> 00:36:37,960
Speaker 3: I was recently fired without just cause from my full

830
00:36:38,000 --> 00:36:41,799
Speaker 3: time job. I received severance and I'm moving on. But

831
00:36:41,920 --> 00:36:44,960
Speaker 3: I really loved my job and my coworkers, so losing

832
00:36:45,000 --> 00:36:49,080
Speaker 3: it has been difficult and stressful and honestly just really sad.

833
00:36:49,440 --> 00:36:51,520
Speaker 3: I excelled on my job and it brought me a

834
00:36:51,560 --> 00:36:54,799
Speaker 3: lot of joy overall. I was paid well, appreciated by

835
00:36:54,840 --> 00:36:58,000
Speaker 3: my coworkers and clients, and the job itself was a

836
00:36:58,040 --> 00:37:01,120
Speaker 3: perfect fit for me. There were so many boxes that

837
00:37:01,160 --> 00:37:05,319
Speaker 3: were checked. By the way, this comes from proper Armadillo one, two, three,

838
00:37:05,360 --> 00:37:06,880
Speaker 3: and if you want some of your own stories, go

839
00:37:06,920 --> 00:37:09,480
Speaker 3: to the r slash Okay stories. I'm superate, so OPI says.

840
00:37:09,600 --> 00:37:13,160
Speaker 3: The only real downside, however, turned out to be a

841
00:37:13,239 --> 00:37:16,160
Speaker 3: big one the boss, who also happened to be one

842
00:37:16,160 --> 00:37:17,680
Speaker 3: of my closest friends.

843
00:37:17,719 --> 00:37:18,400
Speaker 1: For a time.

844
00:37:18,840 --> 00:37:21,760
Speaker 3: I live in a somewhat small community and was casual

845
00:37:21,840 --> 00:37:25,720
Speaker 3: friends with the owner slash boss, whom I'll call Donna,

846
00:37:26,120 --> 00:37:29,440
Speaker 3: when I was hired, but we quickly became close friends

847
00:37:29,480 --> 00:37:33,040
Speaker 3: after I started working there. She called me her side.

848
00:37:33,080 --> 00:37:36,080
Speaker 3: We worked very closely together, more so than anyone else

849
00:37:36,120 --> 00:37:39,480
Speaker 3: on the team. Because of this, she sung my praises

850
00:37:39,520 --> 00:37:42,279
Speaker 3: when she was in a good mood, but she was

851
00:37:42,320 --> 00:37:45,640
Speaker 3: also harder on me and more critical and abrupt towards

852
00:37:45,640 --> 00:37:48,759
Speaker 3: me than anyone else, aside from her husband, who also

853
00:37:48,920 --> 00:37:53,000
Speaker 3: worked there and was often blessed with her backlash. I

854
00:37:53,080 --> 00:37:56,239
Speaker 3: am usually very kind and loving, emotional person with the

855
00:37:56,239 --> 00:37:59,800
Speaker 3: big heart who cares deeply, or as Donna was on

856
00:38:00,080 --> 00:38:02,839
Speaker 3: most the total opposite. So we're an odd pairing that

857
00:38:02,920 --> 00:38:07,560
Speaker 3: confused people who really know me and knew of Donna's reputation.

858
00:38:08,120 --> 00:38:11,160
Speaker 3: She behaved as if I was lucky to be chosen

859
00:38:11,200 --> 00:38:14,880
Speaker 3: by her because she didn't open up to many people.

860
00:38:15,080 --> 00:38:17,200
Speaker 2: Well, I feel like it's was that what that was?

861
00:38:17,320 --> 00:38:17,960
Speaker 2: Or was that more?

862
00:38:18,080 --> 00:38:20,200
Speaker 6: Like people in the office are like, how are you

863
00:38:20,239 --> 00:38:22,840
Speaker 6: friends with this? How are you friends with this person

864
00:38:23,000 --> 00:38:26,160
Speaker 6: everyone else hates? Like don't you like this person has

865
00:38:26,200 --> 00:38:29,279
Speaker 6: a problem with literally everyone else about you're friends with them?

866
00:38:29,360 --> 00:38:31,799
Speaker 2: Like, how is that even possible? That's how I read that.

867
00:38:31,960 --> 00:38:34,919
Speaker 6: I don't know, to be honest, because I could see

868
00:38:34,920 --> 00:38:37,959
Speaker 6: that like, yeah, I just think.

869
00:38:37,719 --> 00:38:41,640
Speaker 3: That this person's a little bit more abrupt or more

870
00:38:42,360 --> 00:38:45,279
Speaker 3: and Donna, yeah Donna, And people are like, oh, this

871
00:38:45,400 --> 00:38:47,120
Speaker 3: kind of catches me off guard, you know.

872
00:38:47,760 --> 00:38:48,320
Speaker 2: Yeah.

873
00:38:48,440 --> 00:38:50,960
Speaker 6: I mean it's always a hard position to be in

874
00:38:51,040 --> 00:38:53,239
Speaker 6: being friends with your boss because people are automatically gonna

875
00:38:53,239 --> 00:38:56,160
Speaker 6: be like, oh yeah, look at best friends with the boss,

876
00:38:56,480 --> 00:38:59,239
Speaker 6: you know, kind of no matter how your boss is like,

877
00:38:59,480 --> 00:39:01,920
Speaker 6: people are going to be like, oh yeah, like check

878
00:39:01,960 --> 00:39:06,160
Speaker 6: out the butt kisser over here, like with the with

879
00:39:06,200 --> 00:39:07,080
Speaker 6: the boss.

880
00:39:07,160 --> 00:39:08,920
Speaker 3: Some recently called me a brown noser whenever I was

881
00:39:08,920 --> 00:39:11,160
Speaker 3: just trying to be you know, talk nice about them.

882
00:39:11,480 --> 00:39:12,239
Speaker 4: It's crazy.

883
00:39:12,520 --> 00:39:16,400
Speaker 3: Donna had a history of not burning bridges, both personally

884
00:39:16,440 --> 00:39:18,840
Speaker 3: and professionally, but nuking them.

885
00:39:19,120 --> 00:39:23,120
Speaker 2: Oh even worse, much worse, and.

886
00:39:23,480 --> 00:39:27,360
Speaker 3: Joked about how spiteful and vindictive she could be. She

887
00:39:27,520 --> 00:39:30,319
Speaker 3: regularly told me I had to keep our personal and

888
00:39:30,400 --> 00:39:34,560
Speaker 3: professional lives separate, But what she really meant was I

889
00:39:34,560 --> 00:39:37,200
Speaker 3: couldn't hold it against her as my friend when she

890
00:39:37,320 --> 00:39:42,080
Speaker 3: treated me poorly as my boss. The lines were always

891
00:39:42,080 --> 00:39:46,600
Speaker 3: blurred all the time otherwise, and our lives became very intertwined,

892
00:39:46,640 --> 00:39:49,640
Speaker 3: both in the office and outside of it. My colleagues, friends,

893
00:39:49,680 --> 00:39:53,200
Speaker 3: and family all made several comments to me of concern

894
00:39:53,360 --> 00:39:56,319
Speaker 3: about this over time, but I made excuses for her

895
00:39:56,600 --> 00:39:59,920
Speaker 3: a lot, even when I've been brought to tears by

896
00:40:00,080 --> 00:40:02,840
Speaker 3: how she's spoken to me. I knew she had a

897
00:40:02,920 --> 00:40:06,200
Speaker 3: very difficult upbringing and experienced a lot of trauma, so

898
00:40:06,880 --> 00:40:09,239
Speaker 3: I would tell them she really didn't mean it and

899
00:40:09,440 --> 00:40:12,239
Speaker 3: tried not to take it personally. You can only give

900
00:40:12,239 --> 00:40:13,480
Speaker 3: someone so much slack.

901
00:40:13,880 --> 00:40:16,320
Speaker 6: Yeah, especially, it's like your trauma is not an excuse

902
00:40:16,360 --> 00:40:17,720
Speaker 6: for you to just treat people poorly.

903
00:40:18,480 --> 00:40:21,480
Speaker 3: She could be really fun and generous when she wanted

904
00:40:21,520 --> 00:40:25,719
Speaker 3: to be on her terms, but otherwise she was snappy, intense,

905
00:40:26,120 --> 00:40:30,960
Speaker 3: extremely moody with severe swings and sensitive, condescending, and acted

906
00:40:31,040 --> 00:40:34,840
Speaker 3: as if she knew everything. Everyone else from experience knew

907
00:40:34,880 --> 00:40:37,480
Speaker 3: to keep their distance from her, but my job was

908
00:40:37,520 --> 00:40:41,560
Speaker 3: specifically tied to hers, and we became close that I

909
00:40:41,600 --> 00:40:45,000
Speaker 3: loved her despite these issues. It had been abandoned so

910
00:40:45,160 --> 00:40:47,960
Speaker 3: many times by so many people over the years, and

911
00:40:48,680 --> 00:40:51,960
Speaker 3: had repeatedly asked me to never to leave her, telling

912
00:40:52,000 --> 00:40:55,280
Speaker 3: me I was the best job title she'd ever hired

913
00:40:55,320 --> 00:40:58,680
Speaker 3: by far, and she didn't know how she'd gone all

914
00:40:58,719 --> 00:41:04,040
Speaker 3: these years without me. I was the embodiment of agape love.

915
00:41:04,360 --> 00:41:07,680
Speaker 3: I would promise her that I was loyal and wasn't

916
00:41:07,719 --> 00:41:11,839
Speaker 3: going anywhere, and was very vocal about it how much

917
00:41:11,880 --> 00:41:14,719
Speaker 3: I loved my job. My husband was always worried that

918
00:41:14,760 --> 00:41:18,279
Speaker 3: things wouldn't end well because he knew I couldn't emotionally

919
00:41:18,320 --> 00:41:22,279
Speaker 3: handle being whiplash ad nauseum, but I was so stupidly

920
00:41:22,360 --> 00:41:25,799
Speaker 3: trusting of her love bombing and things were going well

921
00:41:26,120 --> 00:41:29,640
Speaker 3: that I'm ashamed to admit I powed down when things

922
00:41:29,680 --> 00:41:33,879
Speaker 3: weren't to avoid the blow up I witnessed On numerous occasions.

923
00:41:34,280 --> 00:41:37,840
Speaker 3: She treated me like this in every faucet, and was

924
00:41:37,880 --> 00:41:42,160
Speaker 3: sometimes oddly possessive slash jealous. She would get angry with

925
00:41:42,239 --> 00:41:45,480
Speaker 3: me and call me unprofessional for being overly friendly with

926
00:41:45,520 --> 00:41:48,759
Speaker 3: my coworkers. For example, after it i'd worked there for

927
00:41:48,800 --> 00:41:52,120
Speaker 3: a very short time, I sent a friendly happy anniversary

928
00:41:52,200 --> 00:41:56,360
Speaker 3: message in the team chat for two coworkers work anniversaries

929
00:41:56,400 --> 00:42:01,560
Speaker 3: work aversary, work aversary yay, which everyone responded positively to,

930
00:42:02,080 --> 00:42:03,080
Speaker 3: including her husband.

931
00:42:03,520 --> 00:42:06,840
Speaker 1: But Donna was not happy.

932
00:42:07,400 --> 00:42:13,040
Speaker 3: How day, she tore a strip off of me, saying

933
00:42:13,080 --> 00:42:15,960
Speaker 3: that I was overstepping, that this was type of thing

934
00:42:16,080 --> 00:42:19,160
Speaker 3: was her job, not mine. A few months later, I

935
00:42:19,239 --> 00:42:21,960
Speaker 3: bought each of my coworkers a very small trinket for

936
00:42:22,040 --> 00:42:25,120
Speaker 3: their desk with a little personalized card who expressed my

937
00:42:25,239 --> 00:42:28,480
Speaker 3: appreciation for working so well with them. Donna was so

938
00:42:28,680 --> 00:42:31,040
Speaker 3: upset by this that she continued to bring it up

939
00:42:31,080 --> 00:42:34,799
Speaker 3: in conversation for over a year afterwards. Why does this

940
00:42:34,840 --> 00:42:36,840
Speaker 3: person have no grace for you? And why is she

941
00:42:36,960 --> 00:42:39,520
Speaker 3: so mad that you're nice?

942
00:42:40,040 --> 00:42:41,359
Speaker 2: The crazy thing to bring up.

943
00:42:41,400 --> 00:42:45,000
Speaker 3: A year later, she told me it was inappropriate and unprofessional,

944
00:42:45,320 --> 00:42:47,399
Speaker 3: that if anyone is going to be giving co workers

945
00:42:47,480 --> 00:42:51,320
Speaker 3: gifts of appreciation, it should be her, not me. I

946
00:42:51,360 --> 00:42:54,319
Speaker 3: should mention that I had an older coworker who gave

947
00:42:54,680 --> 00:42:57,680
Speaker 3: beautiful and thoughtful gifts to me and other coworkers so

948
00:42:57,719 --> 00:42:59,960
Speaker 3: many times, and it was never an issue for her.

949
00:43:00,320 --> 00:43:02,400
Speaker 3: After I'd been at this job for almost two years,

950
00:43:02,520 --> 00:43:06,120
Speaker 3: I took a vacation, my first vacation in nearly twelve years.

951
00:43:06,480 --> 00:43:09,920
Speaker 3: Before I left, I scheduled an email to our small

952
00:43:10,000 --> 00:43:13,080
Speaker 3: but close and casual team be sent while I was away,

953
00:43:13,560 --> 00:43:15,759
Speaker 3: telling them I missed them and hoped that they're having

954
00:43:15,760 --> 00:43:17,640
Speaker 3: a great week and I look forward to seeing them

955
00:43:17,719 --> 00:43:20,560
Speaker 3: upon my return. Donna showed up at my house unannounced

956
00:43:20,600 --> 00:43:23,560
Speaker 3: in the morning after I returned from vacation, with Starbucks

957
00:43:23,560 --> 00:43:26,200
Speaker 3: in hand. It's important to know I had just declined

958
00:43:26,239 --> 00:43:28,759
Speaker 3: a coffee date with her that same morning. I was

959
00:43:28,800 --> 00:43:31,000
Speaker 3: explaining I was too busy catching up on things at

960
00:43:31,000 --> 00:43:34,200
Speaker 3: home after returning from my trip, she invited herself inside

961
00:43:34,239 --> 00:43:38,120
Speaker 3: my home jokingly chastised me when I didn't offer her

962
00:43:38,280 --> 00:43:43,560
Speaker 3: a spicy point at nine am. It's illegal here and

963
00:43:43,600 --> 00:43:46,160
Speaker 3: we both smoke it, but she does it much more

964
00:43:46,200 --> 00:43:49,799
Speaker 3: heavily than me, and throughout the day, every day, even.

965
00:43:49,560 --> 00:43:51,240
Speaker 1: While driving or working.

966
00:43:51,760 --> 00:43:55,360
Speaker 3: So I prepared one for her that she partook in alone.

967
00:43:55,760 --> 00:43:59,799
Speaker 3: Then she proceeded to lecture me about respecting people's boundaries,

968
00:44:00,160 --> 00:44:03,120
Speaker 3: telling me the email I had sent was inappropriate and

969
00:44:03,239 --> 00:44:07,040
Speaker 3: unprofessional and not welcome in her office. So she told

970
00:44:07,080 --> 00:44:10,000
Speaker 3: me that my coworkers don't like me as much as

971
00:44:10,040 --> 00:44:12,520
Speaker 3: I like them, They don't want to be my friends,

972
00:44:12,520 --> 00:44:15,040
Speaker 3: and that I love bond people by forcing my friendship

973
00:44:15,080 --> 00:44:17,960
Speaker 3: on them. My email was cringe, and other people had

974
00:44:18,000 --> 00:44:21,160
Speaker 3: approached her in private to tell her it made them uncomfortable,

975
00:44:21,320 --> 00:44:25,080
Speaker 3: which I don't actually believe. For clarity, my coworkers had

976
00:44:25,120 --> 00:44:28,200
Speaker 3: never expressed any of these said boundaries to me, and

977
00:44:28,239 --> 00:44:31,640
Speaker 3: everyone had always been friendly and open with me. I

978
00:44:31,680 --> 00:44:34,080
Speaker 3: should have stood up for myself then and there, but

979
00:44:34,719 --> 00:44:37,319
Speaker 3: I was put on the spot and insulted in my

980
00:44:37,440 --> 00:44:42,319
Speaker 3: own home, my safe place. Intend to avoid confrontation.

981
00:44:42,120 --> 00:44:44,080
Speaker 1: So I told her that as my employer.

982
00:44:44,480 --> 00:44:46,839
Speaker 3: If she didn't want me to send emails like that

983
00:44:46,960 --> 00:44:49,960
Speaker 3: through work, then I certainly wouldn't do it again. But

984
00:44:50,080 --> 00:44:52,960
Speaker 3: she admitted that as a friend, how she worded that

985
00:44:53,120 --> 00:44:56,279
Speaker 3: felt really harsh, and she started to tear up. She

986
00:44:56,440 --> 00:44:58,640
Speaker 3: rolled her eyes at me and told me not to

987
00:44:58,719 --> 00:45:02,040
Speaker 3: be so sensitive and compared me to a child. A

988
00:45:02,040 --> 00:45:04,839
Speaker 3: few weeks later, the situation exploded in a way I

989
00:45:04,920 --> 00:45:08,640
Speaker 3: never expected. For context, I have two young special needs

990
00:45:08,719 --> 00:45:12,439
Speaker 3: children who often struggle behaviorally. For the most part, Donna

991
00:45:12,719 --> 00:45:16,919
Speaker 3: was always impressively accommodating when I needed to leave work

992
00:45:17,000 --> 00:45:20,200
Speaker 3: early or work from home on days where my children

993
00:45:20,239 --> 00:45:23,399
Speaker 3: needed extra care, which was one of the greatest things

994
00:45:23,400 --> 00:45:26,080
Speaker 3: about my job. She always told me that being a

995
00:45:26,120 --> 00:45:29,600
Speaker 3: mom came first. She was happy to help me find

996
00:45:29,600 --> 00:45:32,200
Speaker 3: a work life balance. At the end of the school

997
00:45:32,280 --> 00:45:35,480
Speaker 3: year June, my kids were having an especially difficult time,

998
00:45:35,880 --> 00:45:40,400
Speaker 3: and following a particularly violent outburst from my youngest, I

999
00:45:40,560 --> 00:45:44,040
Speaker 3: began to feel very guilty that I might be failing

1000
00:45:44,080 --> 00:45:47,399
Speaker 3: my kids, that my working full time was too much

1001
00:45:47,400 --> 00:45:50,040
Speaker 3: for them. I decided to do some math to see

1002
00:45:50,040 --> 00:45:53,360
Speaker 3: if we could afford me to work less. I was

1003
00:45:53,400 --> 00:45:55,799
Speaker 3: shocked to find out we'd actually save money if I

1004
00:45:55,840 --> 00:45:59,040
Speaker 3: worked less due to childcare costs.

1005
00:45:58,680 --> 00:45:59,400
Speaker 1: And other things.

1006
00:45:59,680 --> 00:46:02,960
Speaker 3: So I texted my three closest friends sharing that information,

1007
00:46:03,360 --> 00:46:06,680
Speaker 3: and Donna was one of them. She responded saying she

1008
00:46:06,880 --> 00:46:09,719
Speaker 3: wasn't sure what to say about that. I realized she

1009
00:46:09,760 --> 00:46:13,240
Speaker 3: misunderstood my message and explained that I was just musing

1010
00:46:13,280 --> 00:46:17,360
Speaker 3: to a friend. I wasn't actually asking to reduce my hours,

1011
00:46:17,800 --> 00:46:20,760
Speaker 3: and if I were to officially request that, I would

1012
00:46:20,760 --> 00:46:23,680
Speaker 3: do so formally to her as my employer.

1013
00:46:24,160 --> 00:46:25,120
Speaker 1: She didn't respond.

1014
00:46:25,480 --> 00:46:28,120
Speaker 6: Honestly, Dog, at this point, that's kind of on you,

1015
00:46:28,640 --> 00:46:31,839
Speaker 6: Like it should be pretty clear after she like came

1016
00:46:31,880 --> 00:46:34,759
Speaker 6: into your house and like you know, rolled up a

1017
00:46:35,120 --> 00:46:39,000
Speaker 6: freaking doobie yeah uh and going out and then and

1018
00:46:39,120 --> 00:46:42,319
Speaker 6: then went after you for your work ethic and like

1019
00:46:42,920 --> 00:46:46,120
Speaker 6: also like not knowing, I don't know, Like it should

1020
00:46:46,160 --> 00:46:49,200
Speaker 6: have been very clear, Like Okay, these lines are getting blurred,

1021
00:46:49,360 --> 00:46:52,480
Speaker 6: and like the difference between her is my superior and

1022
00:46:52,520 --> 00:46:55,440
Speaker 6: her as my friend is no longer, like it doesn't

1023
00:46:55,440 --> 00:46:58,960
Speaker 6: exist really anymore. Right now, she came like she felt

1024
00:46:59,080 --> 00:47:02,640
Speaker 6: as your superior, she was entitled to walk into your home.

1025
00:47:03,480 --> 00:47:05,160
Speaker 1: Are canceling the different things.

1026
00:47:05,000 --> 00:47:08,160
Speaker 3: After you canceled the coffee day with her right, So

1027
00:47:08,200 --> 00:47:13,200
Speaker 3: she's she's like fully not separating her authority over you

1028
00:47:13,280 --> 00:47:18,120
Speaker 3: as a boss from her, you know, relationship with you

1029
00:47:18,160 --> 00:47:18,760
Speaker 3: as a friend.

1030
00:47:19,239 --> 00:47:21,600
Speaker 2: They're they're they're bleeding through entirely.

1031
00:47:22,280 --> 00:47:25,239
Speaker 6: So you saying that as a friend, got to say

1032
00:47:25,239 --> 00:47:29,200
Speaker 6: that to a different person, because she's she's both always

1033
00:47:29,200 --> 00:47:29,839
Speaker 6: at the same time.

1034
00:47:30,000 --> 00:47:33,279
Speaker 3: Exactly the next day I work, her husband came into

1035
00:47:33,320 --> 00:47:36,560
Speaker 3: my office told me that Donna told him that I

1036
00:47:36,600 --> 00:47:39,479
Speaker 3: said working for them was costing me money. I told

1037
00:47:39,560 --> 00:47:42,879
Speaker 3: him that I most certainly did not say it like that,

1038
00:47:43,360 --> 00:47:45,919
Speaker 3: and didn't mean it like that, but I had done

1039
00:47:46,000 --> 00:47:48,880
Speaker 3: some math after an extremely difficult few days with my

1040
00:47:49,040 --> 00:47:52,400
Speaker 3: children's behavior. He said they wanted me to do what

1041
00:47:52,560 --> 00:47:55,640
Speaker 3: was best for my family and would try and support that.

1042
00:47:56,120 --> 00:47:58,640
Speaker 3: After he left, I started thinking about the idea of

1043
00:47:58,680 --> 00:48:00,880
Speaker 3: working less and more detas tell and went to his

1044
00:48:00,960 --> 00:48:03,560
Speaker 3: office to tell him I might have an idea that

1045
00:48:03,640 --> 00:48:06,400
Speaker 3: would work for all of us, but I needed to

1046
00:48:06,440 --> 00:48:09,799
Speaker 3: crunch some numbers first and discuss with my husband. He

1047
00:48:09,880 --> 00:48:13,400
Speaker 3: told me sure, and to let him know. Soon afterwards,

1048
00:48:13,440 --> 00:48:17,840
Speaker 3: Donna started sending me text messages. She he was livid

1049
00:48:18,280 --> 00:48:21,960
Speaker 3: that he betrayed her trust by talking to me about

1050
00:48:22,000 --> 00:48:25,680
Speaker 3: this and bringing this issue into the workplace. She vented

1051
00:48:26,160 --> 00:48:30,560
Speaker 3: called him a dumb butt, an effing turd, and a useless,

1052
00:48:30,640 --> 00:48:34,919
Speaker 3: efing butt. Instead, she was so effing angry with him

1053
00:48:35,480 --> 00:48:37,919
Speaker 3: she could f thing one to them.

1054
00:48:38,360 --> 00:48:42,040
Speaker 6: Hey you know that doesn't sound like a very HR

1055
00:48:42,160 --> 00:48:43,160
Speaker 6: friendly thing to say.

1056
00:48:43,200 --> 00:48:46,680
Speaker 3: Hey oh oh this is this is this is even better,

1057
00:48:47,120 --> 00:48:49,759
Speaker 3: she said, this is why women are better and sometimes

1058
00:48:49,800 --> 00:48:53,040
Speaker 3: men aren't just worth it. E thing Wiener faces.

1059
00:48:53,000 --> 00:48:57,920
Speaker 6: And this is another coworker right still Donna, but talking

1060
00:48:57,960 --> 00:49:01,560
Speaker 6: about talking about is the guy a co worker or

1061
00:49:01,600 --> 00:49:02,600
Speaker 6: was the guy like a partner?

1062
00:49:03,040 --> 00:49:07,520
Speaker 3: Uh, the guy's a partner and coworker. Okay Donna's husband, Yeah.

1063
00:49:07,239 --> 00:49:11,000
Speaker 6: Okay, okay, that okay, where's at this point?

1064
00:49:11,040 --> 00:49:14,560
Speaker 2: It's like fully HR, it's full HR time. What are

1065
00:49:14,600 --> 00:49:17,480
Speaker 2: we doing well? Who is Donna's superior?

1066
00:49:17,560 --> 00:49:19,880
Speaker 3: I told her I didn't think he meant any harm

1067
00:49:19,920 --> 00:49:23,640
Speaker 3: by it, and I wasn't upset. She told me she

1068
00:49:23,719 --> 00:49:27,360
Speaker 3: understood where I was coming from, but he caused unneeded stress.

1069
00:49:27,840 --> 00:49:28,800
Speaker 1: We went back and forth.

1070
00:49:28,840 --> 00:49:31,640
Speaker 3: She brought up her abandonment issues again. I as showed

1071
00:49:31,640 --> 00:49:33,759
Speaker 3: her that I loved my job and her and was

1072
00:49:33,760 --> 00:49:37,360
Speaker 3: it going anywhere? She told me that there was no rush.

1073
00:49:37,600 --> 00:49:40,120
Speaker 3: We could table it for another time and brainstorm later

1074
00:49:40,400 --> 00:49:43,279
Speaker 3: she arrived at work later, we discussed it more and

1075
00:49:43,320 --> 00:49:45,800
Speaker 3: agreed to put a pin in it. The next morning,

1076
00:49:45,840 --> 00:49:49,239
Speaker 3: she texted me saying that she wanted to add one

1077
00:49:49,280 --> 00:49:51,920
Speaker 3: of my job duties that required a lot of walking

1078
00:49:52,280 --> 00:49:55,520
Speaker 3: to the list of things to consider reducing. I have

1079
00:49:55,560 --> 00:49:57,799
Speaker 3: been dealing with a knee issue for over a year

1080
00:49:57,840 --> 00:50:01,719
Speaker 3: that had progressively gotten worse. I had recently been instructed

1081
00:50:01,719 --> 00:50:05,239
Speaker 3: by one of my medical professionals to start using a cane.

1082
00:50:05,480 --> 00:50:08,440
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh. She didn't like seeing me walk around

1083
00:50:08,440 --> 00:50:10,920
Speaker 3: and approaching clients with the cane and said I was

1084
00:50:11,000 --> 00:50:13,839
Speaker 3: obviously in pain and she felt I was moving more

1085
00:50:13,880 --> 00:50:17,560
Speaker 3: slowly because of it and that was not cost effective

1086
00:50:17,560 --> 00:50:18,960
Speaker 3: for them.

1087
00:50:19,000 --> 00:50:23,680
Speaker 2: Oh, oh, we're doing the Oh we're pulling that. Uh huh. Okay,

1088
00:50:24,760 --> 00:50:25,480
Speaker 2: do you smell it?

1089
00:50:25,520 --> 00:50:25,960
Speaker 6: I do?

1090
00:50:25,960 --> 00:50:27,560
Speaker 2: Do you smell the lawsuit in the air?

1091
00:50:27,800 --> 00:50:28,000
Speaker 5: Oh?

1092
00:50:29,000 --> 00:50:31,640
Speaker 2: Do you smell the lawn? Wait?

1093
00:50:31,640 --> 00:50:33,560
Speaker 1: Op, you're one of us, dude, you can sue her.

1094
00:50:34,160 --> 00:50:34,560
Speaker 1: Sue her.

1095
00:50:34,760 --> 00:50:36,839
Speaker 4: Even if you weren't one of us, you should still

1096
00:50:36,880 --> 00:50:37,359
Speaker 4: see her.

1097
00:50:37,840 --> 00:50:40,520
Speaker 6: I mean, if she's saying that, like your use of

1098
00:50:40,560 --> 00:50:43,239
Speaker 6: the cane is like a detriment to when it's like

1099
00:50:43,320 --> 00:50:43,840
Speaker 6: clearly not.

1100
00:50:44,719 --> 00:50:47,880
Speaker 3: I wasn't actually taking extra time by using a cane,

1101
00:50:48,040 --> 00:50:51,480
Speaker 3: but I was in pain, so I agree to discuss it.

1102
00:50:51,760 --> 00:50:54,520
Speaker 3: When I arrived at work, she was visibly very upset

1103
00:50:54,560 --> 00:50:57,640
Speaker 3: about something. She told me that she wasn't comfortable with

1104
00:50:57,760 --> 00:51:01,080
Speaker 3: leaving things in limbo and thanks to her her dufus's husband,

1105
00:51:01,120 --> 00:51:04,080
Speaker 3: who was sitting right there, for bringing it up at work,

1106
00:51:04,400 --> 00:51:08,279
Speaker 3: we needed to settle my working situation right away. That

1107
00:51:08,400 --> 00:51:11,359
Speaker 3: he had forced her hand. But I reminded her that

1108
00:51:11,440 --> 00:51:14,720
Speaker 3: we had agreed to wait, that I hadn't actually asked

1109
00:51:14,719 --> 00:51:17,360
Speaker 3: for anything yet, but she said that that was no

1110
00:51:17,440 --> 00:51:20,560
Speaker 3: longer an option. I went to my office and soon

1111
00:51:20,719 --> 00:51:23,160
Speaker 3: later she stormed out of the building. That's when the

1112
00:51:23,200 --> 00:51:26,440
Speaker 3: email started. Initially sent an email to both me and

1113
00:51:26,480 --> 00:51:29,200
Speaker 3: her husband saying that we needed to figure this out

1114
00:51:29,239 --> 00:51:30,240
Speaker 3: as soon as possible.

1115
00:51:30,560 --> 00:51:31,399
Speaker 1: She offered a.

1116
00:51:31,360 --> 00:51:36,120
Speaker 3: Proposal new hourly arrangement. I responded that I hadn't even

1117
00:51:36,120 --> 00:51:38,400
Speaker 3: talked to my husband about this yet, and once I

1118
00:51:38,520 --> 00:51:40,600
Speaker 3: had a chance to do it, that I could write

1119
00:51:40,680 --> 00:51:42,520
Speaker 3: up a proposal and that it would start in the

1120
00:51:42,560 --> 00:51:46,960
Speaker 3: beginning of September. She responded that she wanted the reduced

1121
00:51:46,960 --> 00:51:49,719
Speaker 3: hours to begin as soon as possible, and not to

1122
00:51:49,760 --> 00:51:53,960
Speaker 3: wait until September. I explained that my children were already

1123
00:51:54,040 --> 00:51:56,839
Speaker 3: registered and paid for summer camp, but I didn't need

1124
00:51:56,880 --> 00:52:00,839
Speaker 3: to reduce hours until school started again, and working less

1125
00:52:00,840 --> 00:52:04,600
Speaker 3: immediately would hinder us financially. She said she would prefer

1126
00:52:04,680 --> 00:52:09,120
Speaker 3: it to begin immediately and would not elaborate on her reasons.

1127
00:52:09,160 --> 00:52:10,840
Speaker 1: Why do you see what's happening.

1128
00:52:11,840 --> 00:52:14,120
Speaker 2: I think she's just like hating you now.

1129
00:52:14,360 --> 00:52:16,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, and she's taking this out on you by reducing

1130
00:52:16,880 --> 00:52:17,279
Speaker 3: your hours.

1131
00:52:17,360 --> 00:52:19,879
Speaker 2: Yeah. You're being like, oh, well that would actually like.

1132
00:52:19,960 --> 00:52:22,719
Speaker 6: Hurt us financially if you really did that right now

1133
00:52:22,719 --> 00:52:23,400
Speaker 6: because I don't need it.

1134
00:52:23,440 --> 00:52:25,200
Speaker 2: She's like, yeah, I don't care. It sounds good. I

1135
00:52:25,239 --> 00:52:25,560
Speaker 2: want that.

1136
00:52:26,160 --> 00:52:29,440
Speaker 6: Yeah, they need to be reduced immediately because of my husband.

1137
00:52:29,800 --> 00:52:31,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, and we already know what's going to happen, but

1138
00:52:31,480 --> 00:52:33,880
Speaker 3: she seems to be leaning on getting rid of you.

1139
00:52:34,360 --> 00:52:38,280
Speaker 3: So this was all really overwhelming, and after many emails,

1140
00:52:38,320 --> 00:52:41,560
Speaker 3: I was having a lot of anxiety and difficult concentrating

1141
00:52:41,560 --> 00:52:44,960
Speaker 3: on my work, so I left earlier than usual that afternoon.

1142
00:52:45,320 --> 00:52:48,719
Speaker 3: I emailed her that evening, agreeing to the new proposal schedule.

1143
00:52:49,040 --> 00:52:51,600
Speaker 3: After discussing it with my husband. It was seven hours

1144
00:52:51,680 --> 00:52:54,759
Speaker 3: less work a week than I had been working, but

1145
00:52:55,400 --> 00:52:58,279
Speaker 3: had some remote hours worked in, and I offered to

1146
00:52:58,320 --> 00:53:01,200
Speaker 3: do some extra time from home when need. The next morning,

1147
00:53:01,239 --> 00:53:04,360
Speaker 3: I woke up to an email she'd sent me around sunrise.

1148
00:53:04,600 --> 00:53:06,960
Speaker 3: He's typically a nine owl who sleeps in as late

1149
00:53:07,000 --> 00:53:10,319
Speaker 3: as possible, through emailing me at that time of day

1150
00:53:10,520 --> 00:53:13,680
Speaker 3: was not a good sign. Email basically said that these

1151
00:53:14,160 --> 00:53:17,520
Speaker 3: reduced hours will work for the summer, but come September

1152
00:53:17,560 --> 00:53:20,319
Speaker 3: my hours will need to be reduced even more so

1153
00:53:20,400 --> 00:53:23,520
Speaker 3: she can hire someone else to split my job in half.

1154
00:53:23,960 --> 00:53:26,640
Speaker 3: She's punishing you what she's doing. She went on to

1155
00:53:26,640 --> 00:53:28,880
Speaker 3: explain that I was putting her in hardship and she

1156
00:53:29,040 --> 00:53:31,640
Speaker 3: needed to do what was best for her business, and

1157
00:53:31,680 --> 00:53:35,279
Speaker 3: that me doing this was very hurtful and stressful and

1158
00:53:35,320 --> 00:53:38,759
Speaker 3: she couldn't be expected to make all these sacrifices for

1159
00:53:38,880 --> 00:53:41,480
Speaker 3: me and to pick up my slack by doing a

1160
00:53:41,520 --> 00:53:44,360
Speaker 3: part of my job due to my knee issue, which

1161
00:53:44,440 --> 00:53:48,280
Speaker 3: was entirely her idea, not mine, only to better my situation.

1162
00:53:48,400 --> 00:53:52,000
Speaker 3: Because of my choices, I suddenly felt really scared about

1163
00:53:52,000 --> 00:53:55,920
Speaker 3: my job security and was overcome with all the stress

1164
00:53:56,000 --> 00:53:59,640
Speaker 3: I'd been dealing with, and unfortunately, I suffered a major

1165
00:53:59,719 --> 00:54:03,680
Speaker 3: pan attack. I'm talking sobbing, uncontrollably, drooling on the floor,

1166
00:54:04,040 --> 00:54:08,640
Speaker 3: pupils dilated, hyperventilating a panic attack. My husband witnessed this

1167
00:54:08,840 --> 00:54:11,359
Speaker 3: and was very worried about me. Once it was over,

1168
00:54:11,440 --> 00:54:14,200
Speaker 3: I quickly developed a very painful mind grain and had

1169
00:54:14,239 --> 00:54:17,000
Speaker 3: to message our team chat that I was staying home

1170
00:54:17,080 --> 00:54:20,080
Speaker 3: from work because of it. Donna replied, but deleted the

1171
00:54:20,120 --> 00:54:22,759
Speaker 3: message before I could see it. My husband also took

1172
00:54:22,800 --> 00:54:24,839
Speaker 3: the day off to stay with me, so I wasn't

1173
00:54:24,920 --> 00:54:27,960
Speaker 3: left alone in that state. That evening, she messaged me

1174
00:54:28,480 --> 00:54:30,960
Speaker 3: to ask how I was doing and said she was

1175
00:54:31,040 --> 00:54:33,520
Speaker 3: there if I needed to talk. The next day at

1176
00:54:33,520 --> 00:54:36,960
Speaker 3: work was tense and awkward. She emailed the entire team

1177
00:54:37,000 --> 00:54:41,000
Speaker 3: announcing my new hours effective the following week, and that

1178
00:54:41,200 --> 00:54:44,840
Speaker 3: she was taking over my job duty regarding my knee

1179
00:54:45,000 --> 00:54:48,880
Speaker 3: moving forward. I reiterated that I was capable to continue

1180
00:54:48,920 --> 00:54:51,160
Speaker 3: doing this aspect of my job, and you should see

1181
00:54:51,160 --> 00:54:55,480
Speaker 3: the overly official chatubut super hr themed response that I got.

1182
00:54:55,680 --> 00:54:58,720
Speaker 6: Yeah, it's time to call the lawyer.

1183
00:54:58,880 --> 00:55:01,239
Speaker 3: I capped my head down and did my job and

1184
00:55:01,280 --> 00:55:03,800
Speaker 3: went home for the weekend, I posted on my personal

1185
00:55:03,840 --> 00:55:06,840
Speaker 3: Facebook about my panic attack due to stress as a

1186
00:55:06,880 --> 00:55:10,200
Speaker 3: way of bringing awareness and support to mental health. Dona

1187
00:55:10,320 --> 00:55:12,799
Speaker 3: loved my post and texted me telling me that she

1188
00:55:12,920 --> 00:55:15,840
Speaker 3: was thinking of me, and she adores me and is

1189
00:55:16,000 --> 00:55:18,440
Speaker 3: always there for me if I want to talk, and

1190
00:55:18,520 --> 00:55:21,960
Speaker 3: that she loves me. I was flabbergasted a message back,

1191
00:55:22,040 --> 00:55:24,759
Speaker 3: thanking her but saying that I wasn't really sure how

1192
00:55:24,760 --> 00:55:28,120
Speaker 3: to respond because after everything that had happened that week,

1193
00:55:28,200 --> 00:55:31,319
Speaker 3: I was feeling hurt and backed into a corner. I

1194
00:55:31,400 --> 00:55:34,759
Speaker 3: told her it was something I think we needed to

1195
00:55:34,800 --> 00:55:37,839
Speaker 3: discuss at another time, but it wasn't in the right

1196
00:55:37,880 --> 00:55:41,279
Speaker 3: space for talking about right now, but didn't want to

1197
00:55:41,320 --> 00:55:44,239
Speaker 3: give her the silent treatment either. She replied and said

1198
00:55:44,239 --> 00:55:46,960
Speaker 3: she disagreed, we needed to talk about it, and we

1199
00:55:47,040 --> 00:55:48,520
Speaker 3: needed to talk about it tonight.

1200
00:55:48,719 --> 00:55:51,560
Speaker 6: I don't know, man, I would, like I said, I

1201
00:55:51,640 --> 00:55:54,640
Speaker 6: would be in communication with a lawyer at this point.

1202
00:55:54,920 --> 00:55:57,320
Speaker 6: I know your doctor said that you should use a cane,

1203
00:55:57,360 --> 00:55:59,480
Speaker 6: but like, I don't know if you need like a

1204
00:55:59,560 --> 00:56:01,759
Speaker 6: legal status as disabled in.

1205
00:56:01,800 --> 00:56:03,080
Speaker 2: Order to take advantage of that.

1206
00:56:03,480 --> 00:56:06,680
Speaker 6: Yeah, but whatever it is that you would maybe need

1207
00:56:06,719 --> 00:56:08,879
Speaker 6: to go through to get that status, I would look

1208
00:56:08,920 --> 00:56:09,279
Speaker 6: into that.

1209
00:56:09,719 --> 00:56:12,359
Speaker 3: She said that she would not continue this way for

1210
00:56:12,480 --> 00:56:15,719
Speaker 3: very long. That I started all this by sending an

1211
00:56:15,800 --> 00:56:19,040
Speaker 3: unprofessional and hurtful text message. She said, I caused this

1212
00:56:19,120 --> 00:56:23,359
Speaker 3: mess and she does not often experience daily drama and

1213
00:56:23,680 --> 00:56:26,840
Speaker 3: was not about to start now. Dext messages kept coming

1214
00:56:26,880 --> 00:56:29,160
Speaker 3: one after another. I told her I was sorry. I

1215
00:56:29,160 --> 00:56:31,200
Speaker 3: couldn't talk about it right now. I felt like I

1216
00:56:31,280 --> 00:56:33,520
Speaker 3: was going to have another panic attack and needed to

1217
00:56:33,560 --> 00:56:36,040
Speaker 3: turn off my phone. The next morning, I woke up

1218
00:56:36,040 --> 00:56:37,839
Speaker 3: to an email she had sent me in the middle

1219
00:56:37,880 --> 00:56:40,080
Speaker 3: of the night. She apologized for the way things had

1220
00:56:40,280 --> 00:56:42,759
Speaker 3: gone lately and said our new arrangement felt like a

1221
00:56:42,800 --> 00:56:46,600
Speaker 3: lose lose situation and she believed in win win deals

1222
00:56:46,640 --> 00:56:49,000
Speaker 3: and ask if there was any way we could reach

1223
00:56:49,080 --> 00:56:52,120
Speaker 3: a compromise for now at least she kind of has

1224
00:56:52,160 --> 00:56:52,520
Speaker 3: a heart.

1225
00:56:52,680 --> 00:56:56,880
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know. She said she was sorry.

1226
00:56:57,040 --> 00:56:59,759
Speaker 3: She insisted I reduced my hours right away, but my

1227
00:57:00,280 --> 00:57:02,920
Speaker 3: text in the middle of June was painful and felt

1228
00:57:02,960 --> 00:57:05,200
Speaker 3: like a slap to the face. She continued to word

1229
00:57:05,239 --> 00:57:07,719
Speaker 3: that text in the misunderstood way and went on to

1230
00:57:07,760 --> 00:57:10,760
Speaker 3: basically say how much I'm an inconvenience I was causing

1231
00:57:10,840 --> 00:57:13,839
Speaker 3: her she offered some alternatives. Later that morning, she sent

1232
00:57:13,880 --> 00:57:16,320
Speaker 3: me a personal text saying that it was important that

1233
00:57:16,360 --> 00:57:19,760
Speaker 3: I knew that even when we are having a disagreement,

1234
00:57:19,960 --> 00:57:22,400
Speaker 3: she still cares about me very much. I tried my

1235
00:57:22,480 --> 00:57:26,320
Speaker 3: best to respond with email, explaining that my main priority

1236
00:57:26,680 --> 00:57:29,760
Speaker 3: was being more available to my children after school when

1237
00:57:29,800 --> 00:57:32,760
Speaker 3: they seemed to struggle the most, and gave a detailed

1238
00:57:32,840 --> 00:57:36,919
Speaker 3: response on a working arrangement that could potentially work better

1239
00:57:36,960 --> 00:57:38,960
Speaker 3: for the both of us. I saw her later that

1240
00:57:39,040 --> 00:57:41,280
Speaker 3: day while I was dropping off my kid at camp.

1241
00:57:41,760 --> 00:57:44,160
Speaker 3: She gave me a big hug and told me again

1242
00:57:44,240 --> 00:57:47,680
Speaker 3: that she loves me. My other child started having a meltdown,

1243
00:57:47,720 --> 00:57:49,760
Speaker 3: so I had to leave. Later, she responded to my

1244
00:57:49,840 --> 00:57:52,360
Speaker 3: email saying she was happy with it and it felt

1245
00:57:52,440 --> 00:57:54,400
Speaker 3: like a better compromise and a win win for both

1246
00:57:54,440 --> 00:57:57,040
Speaker 3: of us. At this point, it felt like the work

1247
00:57:57,040 --> 00:58:00,919
Speaker 3: hour situation was resolved, but the misunderstanding and now how

1248
00:58:00,960 --> 00:58:04,080
Speaker 3: she had been treating me was not, and I didn't

1249
00:58:04,080 --> 00:58:06,240
Speaker 3: think I could go back to being her friend if

1250
00:58:06,280 --> 00:58:09,840
Speaker 3: those weren't also addressed, since our work life and personal

1251
00:58:09,880 --> 00:58:13,400
Speaker 3: life were so intertwined. Sometimes I think back what happened

1252
00:58:13,400 --> 00:58:16,280
Speaker 3: next and wish I would have just left it alone.

1253
00:58:16,400 --> 00:58:18,880
Speaker 3: Other times, I'm glad I spoke up and attempted to

1254
00:58:18,920 --> 00:58:22,200
Speaker 3: defend myself. So later that weekend, I sat down and

1255
00:58:22,240 --> 00:58:25,280
Speaker 3: wrote a long email response going over what had happened

1256
00:58:25,320 --> 00:58:27,640
Speaker 3: in an attempt to explain where I had been coming

1257
00:58:27,640 --> 00:58:30,280
Speaker 3: from and why I felt so stressed and hurt, and

1258
00:58:30,760 --> 00:58:34,960
Speaker 3: to clear up any leftover misunderstanding. I was genuinely hoping

1259
00:58:35,040 --> 00:58:39,200
Speaker 3: for peace and amical resolution by getting it all off

1260
00:58:39,200 --> 00:58:42,680
Speaker 3: my chest in a respectful way. She responded, addressing me

1261
00:58:43,080 --> 00:58:45,760
Speaker 3: by my given name and not the nickname she always

1262
00:58:45,760 --> 00:58:48,520
Speaker 3: called me, which is never a good time. She said

1263
00:58:48,520 --> 00:58:51,040
Speaker 3: that her and her husband had nothing further to discuss

1264
00:58:51,080 --> 00:58:54,120
Speaker 3: regarding this matter. She thanked me for the clarification, but

1265
00:58:54,240 --> 00:58:57,800
Speaker 3: said the hours were already agreed upon, so to please

1266
00:58:57,920 --> 00:59:01,240
Speaker 3: and try to enjoy my weekend has been resolved as

1267
00:59:01,280 --> 00:59:04,040
Speaker 3: far as they are concerned. But was it the following

1268
00:59:04,080 --> 00:59:07,920
Speaker 3: Monday morning, I had to stay homesick. Really bad timing,

1269
00:59:07,960 --> 00:59:10,880
Speaker 3: I know, but trust me when I say it was

1270
00:59:10,920 --> 00:59:14,200
Speaker 3: not within my control. I needed to stay very close

1271
00:59:14,240 --> 00:59:16,680
Speaker 3: to my bathroom that day. The next day, while at work,

1272
00:59:17,000 --> 00:59:19,040
Speaker 3: she sent me a message on the work chat that

1273
00:59:19,080 --> 00:59:22,360
Speaker 3: we needed to have a discussion. I won't get into

1274
00:59:22,480 --> 00:59:26,360
Speaker 3: the whole half hour conversation, but it started with her

1275
00:59:26,560 --> 00:59:28,760
Speaker 3: asking me if I was still planning on working my

1276
00:59:28,840 --> 00:59:31,920
Speaker 3: hours and doing my job. I was confused. He said

1277
00:59:32,280 --> 00:59:35,440
Speaker 3: I didn't seem like I'd been coming into work much lately.

1278
00:59:35,720 --> 00:59:38,240
Speaker 3: I was still confused and asked if this was about

1279
00:59:38,280 --> 00:59:41,040
Speaker 3: me calling in sick the day before it was, and

1280
00:59:41,120 --> 00:59:45,160
Speaker 3: she clearly didn't believe I was actually sick. She even

1281
00:59:45,240 --> 00:59:47,880
Speaker 3: brought up my final email and wanted to know why

1282
00:59:47,920 --> 00:59:50,760
Speaker 3: I sent it after things were resolved, and why included

1283
00:59:50,800 --> 00:59:53,600
Speaker 3: her husband in the email, telling me he was very

1284
00:59:53,640 --> 00:59:57,000
Speaker 3: unprofessional and inappropriate. She told me I was causing daily

1285
00:59:57,080 --> 01:00:00,800
Speaker 3: drama in my maniced state. I have an exact disorder

1286
01:00:00,960 --> 01:00:03,520
Speaker 3: and I have never in my entire life been in

1287
01:00:03,560 --> 01:00:06,360
Speaker 3: a manicked state. She said she had to tiptoe around

1288
01:00:06,360 --> 01:00:09,400
Speaker 3: me to avoid offending me all the time, again telling

1289
01:00:09,400 --> 01:00:12,680
Speaker 3: me I'm unprofessional and comparing me to a child.

1290
01:00:12,960 --> 01:00:15,360
Speaker 2: Is this like, holy projection, Batman?

1291
01:00:15,560 --> 01:00:19,160
Speaker 6: This is everything she's saying about you, op is like

1292
01:00:19,440 --> 01:00:23,400
Speaker 6: more about her. She sounds like she's always in a

1293
01:00:23,400 --> 01:00:27,680
Speaker 6: manick state, and then she goes crazy on it, and

1294
01:00:27,760 --> 01:00:29,920
Speaker 6: like you said, it's like I don't have mania, I

1295
01:00:29,920 --> 01:00:30,600
Speaker 6: have anxiety.

1296
01:00:31,280 --> 01:00:34,320
Speaker 2: Like I don't blow up, I shut down. Yeah. Like

1297
01:00:34,920 --> 01:00:37,600
Speaker 2: so it's I hope you've got a record of all

1298
01:00:37,640 --> 01:00:39,080
Speaker 2: of this. So where do you work?

1299
01:00:39,120 --> 01:00:43,000
Speaker 6: Start keeping a record of everything that your boss is doing,

1300
01:00:43,120 --> 01:00:45,680
Speaker 6: because this is not your friend anymore. This is just

1301
01:00:46,200 --> 01:00:47,960
Speaker 6: your boss. We talked about this the other day where

1302
01:00:48,000 --> 01:00:50,280
Speaker 6: it's like there's moments when you have and like what,

1303
01:00:50,520 --> 01:00:52,200
Speaker 6: I have an old bossho's like my best friend. So

1304
01:00:52,200 --> 01:00:54,360
Speaker 6: you can be really good friends with your boss. But

1305
01:00:55,680 --> 01:00:57,800
Speaker 6: there are moments in like these kind of dynamics and

1306
01:00:57,840 --> 01:01:01,200
Speaker 6: relationships where it's like everything is like everything changes.

1307
01:01:00,920 --> 01:01:02,120
Speaker 2: And it's like a fork in the road.

1308
01:01:02,280 --> 01:01:04,560
Speaker 6: Yeah, because it's like, Okay, this is the way we're

1309
01:01:04,560 --> 01:01:05,720
Speaker 6: going to be going about this now.

1310
01:01:05,800 --> 01:01:06,400
Speaker 2: Huh. Yeah.

1311
01:01:06,640 --> 01:01:10,000
Speaker 6: We had been being cool and cool, but now now

1312
01:01:10,000 --> 01:01:12,680
Speaker 6: you're reducing my hours and putting like my financial security

1313
01:01:12,680 --> 01:01:14,600
Speaker 6: at risk and like treating me like crap all the time.

1314
01:01:14,600 --> 01:01:16,040
Speaker 1: It's like compared to a child.

1315
01:01:16,400 --> 01:01:20,560
Speaker 6: Right, We're we're clearly down the This is all business,

1316
01:01:20,600 --> 01:01:22,280
Speaker 6: and I'm going to approach it as business. And guess

1317
01:01:22,280 --> 01:01:25,960
Speaker 6: what if a business treats me poorly, I'm gonna run its.

1318
01:01:25,840 --> 01:01:27,400
Speaker 2: Pockets for all that I can.

1319
01:01:27,960 --> 01:01:30,280
Speaker 6: Yeah, and I'm not going to care that you were

1320
01:01:30,360 --> 01:01:31,560
Speaker 6: my friend because you're not.

1321
01:01:31,800 --> 01:01:32,280
Speaker 1: Don't worry.

1322
01:01:32,280 --> 01:01:34,040
Speaker 3: I'm not going to abandon you. I'm going to sue you.

1323
01:01:34,560 --> 01:01:36,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, not leaving until I get my money.

1324
01:01:36,440 --> 01:01:36,920
Speaker 2: Don't worry.

1325
01:01:36,920 --> 01:01:39,040
Speaker 6: I'm just gonna give you the opportunity to pull yourself

1326
01:01:39,080 --> 01:01:40,400
Speaker 6: up by your bootstraps.

1327
01:01:40,680 --> 01:01:44,560
Speaker 2: Yay, we all love doing that bootstrap boo.

1328
01:01:45,160 --> 01:01:48,000
Speaker 3: I told her that that was really ironic and felt

1329
01:01:48,040 --> 01:01:51,080
Speaker 3: to me like she was projecting, and eventually asked if

1330
01:01:51,120 --> 01:01:53,320
Speaker 3: she was considering telling me that I love bump people

1331
01:01:53,320 --> 01:01:55,800
Speaker 3: to be a professional way to behave as an employer.

1332
01:01:56,360 --> 01:01:58,720
Speaker 3: She claims she said that to me as a friend,

1333
01:01:58,760 --> 01:02:02,000
Speaker 3: not an employer. Ooh, don't get those mixed up, opio.

1334
01:02:02,320 --> 01:02:03,560
Speaker 1: Things went back and forth for a.

1335
01:02:03,560 --> 01:02:05,600
Speaker 3: While, and she told me that her husband told her

1336
01:02:05,720 --> 01:02:09,640
Speaker 3: I'm efing lying about my initial text message, that I

1337
01:02:09,680 --> 01:02:12,360
Speaker 3: sent him into a depression over all of this, that

1338
01:02:12,480 --> 01:02:15,360
Speaker 3: I blew up our friendship and I should take the

1339
01:02:15,440 --> 01:02:17,480
Speaker 3: rest of the week off. I asked her if it

1340
01:02:17,560 --> 01:02:20,640
Speaker 3: was a paid leave. She said, oh, right, and consider

1341
01:02:20,760 --> 01:02:24,160
Speaker 3: this my two week working notice instead. She huffed out

1342
01:02:24,160 --> 01:02:26,720
Speaker 3: of my office, saying, sorry, this has been such a

1343
01:02:26,760 --> 01:02:28,760
Speaker 3: horrible place to work, and I have been such a

1344
01:02:28,840 --> 01:02:30,480
Speaker 3: terrible person to work.

1345
01:02:30,280 --> 01:02:34,120
Speaker 6: For saying trying to say that ironically to guilt op

1346
01:02:34,480 --> 01:02:37,480
Speaker 6: not realizing she was just like telling the actual truth

1347
01:02:37,640 --> 01:02:38,360
Speaker 6: is hilarious.

1348
01:02:38,600 --> 01:02:41,440
Speaker 3: She quickly sent an email to the entire team except

1349
01:02:41,480 --> 01:02:44,720
Speaker 3: for me, telling everyone that, effective two weeks from now,

1350
01:02:44,840 --> 01:02:46,960
Speaker 3: I would no longer be working for the company. It

1351
01:02:47,040 --> 01:02:50,680
Speaker 3: read this decision was made after careful consideration and is

1352
01:02:50,720 --> 01:02:53,640
Speaker 3: in line with our commitment to maintaining a productive and

1353
01:02:53,800 --> 01:02:56,640
Speaker 3: positive work environment. It has also been brought to my

1354
01:02:56,680 --> 01:02:59,600
Speaker 3: attention that some team members may not feel comfortable speaking

1355
01:02:59,600 --> 01:03:03,480
Speaker 3: with me directly due to the fear of repercussions or

1356
01:03:03,520 --> 01:03:07,160
Speaker 3: concerns about being treated unfairly or harshly by me. This

1357
01:03:07,240 --> 01:03:10,560
Speaker 3: is something I take very seriously, and I apologize if

1358
01:03:10,560 --> 01:03:13,920
Speaker 3: that continues to be the case. Complete delusion.

1359
01:03:14,040 --> 01:03:17,320
Speaker 6: So she sends that message being like, yeah, effective in

1360
01:03:17,360 --> 01:03:21,200
Speaker 6: two weeks, I'm firing this woman because she slighted me.

1361
01:03:21,720 --> 01:03:24,160
Speaker 2: And also I've heard that people don't think they can.

1362
01:03:24,000 --> 01:03:27,200
Speaker 6: Talk to me about stuff, so I'm really sorry about that,

1363
01:03:27,320 --> 01:03:28,960
Speaker 6: but you totally can.

1364
01:03:29,200 --> 01:03:30,080
Speaker 1: What is happening?

1365
01:03:30,440 --> 01:03:33,400
Speaker 3: After this email was sent, one of my coworkers immediately

1366
01:03:33,440 --> 01:03:36,720
Speaker 3: went homesick. A private meeting was held between Donna and

1367
01:03:36,760 --> 01:03:42,120
Speaker 3: another staff member considering management. Immediately afterwards, Donna came back

1368
01:03:42,120 --> 01:03:44,240
Speaker 3: to my office told me that there had been chatter

1369
01:03:44,680 --> 01:03:47,000
Speaker 3: so my staying two weeks wasn't going to work out

1370
01:03:47,040 --> 01:03:48,440
Speaker 3: and I needed to leave immediately.

1371
01:03:48,800 --> 01:03:49,840
Speaker 2: Why, I told.

1372
01:03:49,680 --> 01:03:51,920
Speaker 3: I already packed up my stuff. I knew there was

1373
01:03:51,960 --> 01:03:55,000
Speaker 3: no way she'd be mature enough to work alongside me

1374
01:03:55,080 --> 01:03:57,160
Speaker 3: amicalley for the next two weeks.

1375
01:03:57,280 --> 01:03:59,000
Speaker 1: Oh but dude, what the heck is happening?

1376
01:03:59,680 --> 01:04:08,440
Speaker 6: I think it's clearly lawyer, lawyer, lawyer, lawyer, lawyer, lawyer, lawyer, lawyer,

1377
01:04:08,480 --> 01:04:09,280
Speaker 6: get the lawyer.

1378
01:04:09,520 --> 01:04:11,080
Speaker 2: This is a slam dunk.

1379
01:04:11,160 --> 01:04:14,920
Speaker 6: If this, if this company's making any money, it's yours now.

1380
01:04:15,320 --> 01:04:17,640
Speaker 3: Yeah. She had blocked me on social media by the

1381
01:04:17,640 --> 01:04:21,320
Speaker 3: time I reached my car. She sent me my final paycheck,

1382
01:04:21,680 --> 01:04:25,120
Speaker 3: including severance, but bates ever error, so there was still

1383
01:04:25,120 --> 01:04:27,800
Speaker 3: some back and forth emailing to resolve it. She posted

1384
01:04:27,800 --> 01:04:30,760
Speaker 3: on our local moms group that the same afternoon, as

1385
01:04:30,800 --> 01:04:33,439
Speaker 3: she was looking to hire someone drama free to fill

1386
01:04:33,480 --> 01:04:37,120
Speaker 3: my position in a community where many people fully knew

1387
01:04:37,200 --> 01:04:39,720
Speaker 3: I was the one. She was referring to. She also

1388
01:04:39,840 --> 01:04:42,439
Speaker 3: posted a gift that she'd bought for me, but had

1389
01:04:42,440 --> 01:04:45,720
Speaker 3: it given to me for sale on Marketplace, saying it

1390
01:04:45,800 --> 01:04:48,680
Speaker 3: was no longer needed. A few days later, she removed

1391
01:04:48,720 --> 01:04:51,280
Speaker 3: me from a local social group she started as a

1392
01:04:51,280 --> 01:04:54,880
Speaker 3: side business venture that I had a paid membership for.

1393
01:04:55,120 --> 01:05:01,480
Speaker 3: So Reddit, jury and okay, storytime executioner, have you reached

1394
01:05:01,520 --> 01:05:02,080
Speaker 3: a verdict?

1395
01:05:02,120 --> 01:05:03,080
Speaker 1: What will you say?

1396
01:05:03,440 --> 01:05:08,080
Speaker 3: I say, lawyer, dude, just get law her her for

1397
01:05:08,120 --> 01:05:10,560
Speaker 3: real and keep us updated on this law her up.

1398
01:05:10,720 --> 01:05:12,880
Speaker 3: You don't need to deal with this whatsoever. This is

1399
01:05:12,960 --> 01:05:15,720
Speaker 3: ridiculous and everybody shape the form. Oh my gosh, please

1400
01:05:15,760 --> 01:05:17,280
Speaker 3: talk to a lawyer immediately