1 00:00:00,960 --> 00:00:10,640 Speaker 1: The overbearing molly coddling of ourselves creates fragility. It creates weakness, 2 00:00:10,720 --> 00:00:12,920 Speaker 1: not strength, so that when a storm comes and we 3 00:00:12,960 --> 00:00:14,920 Speaker 1: have to hold our own and we have to find 4 00:00:14,920 --> 00:00:17,800 Speaker 1: a way to get the nourishment and the nutrition we 5 00:00:17,840 --> 00:00:21,640 Speaker 1: need to stay strong and stay standing, we don't know 6 00:00:21,680 --> 00:00:24,040 Speaker 1: how to look for it because we've never been able 7 00:00:24,079 --> 00:00:33,200 Speaker 1: to look for it before. Hey, everyone, welcome back to 8 00:00:33,280 --> 00:00:36,600 Speaker 1: On Purpose, the number one health podcast in the world. 9 00:00:36,720 --> 00:00:39,320 Speaker 1: Thanks to each and every single one of you that 10 00:00:39,479 --> 00:00:43,800 Speaker 1: come back every week to listen, learn and grow, and 11 00:00:43,880 --> 00:00:49,440 Speaker 1: today's episode is all about growth. How many of you, 12 00:00:49,520 --> 00:00:53,239 Speaker 1: and be honest with yourself, how many of you have 13 00:00:53,400 --> 00:00:56,840 Speaker 1: spent the majority of your time in your comfort zone? 14 00:00:58,120 --> 00:01:01,160 Speaker 1: How many of you know how hard it is to 15 00:01:01,320 --> 00:01:05,720 Speaker 1: get out of your comfort zone? And how many of you, 16 00:01:05,840 --> 00:01:09,760 Speaker 1: even when you try, even when you push your limits, 17 00:01:10,360 --> 00:01:15,080 Speaker 1: even when you make that opportunity, you put your best 18 00:01:15,120 --> 00:01:21,640 Speaker 1: foot forward, you still feel completely trapped by your comfort zone. 19 00:01:22,400 --> 00:01:26,360 Speaker 1: That's what I find so fascinating about comfort zones is 20 00:01:26,400 --> 00:01:30,960 Speaker 1: often we don't even know we're inside one. We don't 21 00:01:30,959 --> 00:01:34,759 Speaker 1: even know that we have one. We just assume that 22 00:01:34,800 --> 00:01:37,360 Speaker 1: this is what life is, this is how it works. 23 00:01:37,440 --> 00:01:41,720 Speaker 1: This is how it goes not recognizing that we are 24 00:01:41,760 --> 00:01:47,680 Speaker 1: being contained. We are being trapped. We are being restricted 25 00:01:47,720 --> 00:01:54,160 Speaker 1: and limited by our mindsets, our beliefs, our actions, our behaviors, 26 00:01:54,240 --> 00:02:00,640 Speaker 1: and so much of this limits what's possible in our lives. Now, 27 00:02:00,760 --> 00:02:07,960 Speaker 1: I was reading an incredible study about how Judith Bardwick 28 00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:14,080 Speaker 1: came up with the phrase comfort zone, and this is 29 00:02:14,120 --> 00:02:18,800 Speaker 1: how she described what a comfort zone is. And this is, 30 00:02:18,800 --> 00:02:23,000 Speaker 1: without a doubt, the best definition I've heard of a 31 00:02:23,080 --> 00:02:25,960 Speaker 1: comfort zone. And you can even make a note of this. 32 00:02:27,040 --> 00:02:31,600 Speaker 1: The comfort zone is a behavioral state within which a 33 00:02:31,639 --> 00:02:38,960 Speaker 1: person operates in first an anxiety neutral condition. A comfort 34 00:02:39,040 --> 00:02:42,079 Speaker 1: zone is a state where a person operates in an 35 00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:48,720 Speaker 1: anxiety neutral condition, the second is using a limited set 36 00:02:48,880 --> 00:02:55,240 Speaker 1: of behaviors to deliver a steady level of performance, and 37 00:02:55,360 --> 00:03:01,120 Speaker 1: the third usually without a sense of risk. So let's 38 00:03:01,120 --> 00:03:03,600 Speaker 1: look at that definition and apply it to our lives. 39 00:03:04,120 --> 00:03:08,840 Speaker 1: Are we constantly trying to be in an anxiety neutral condition? 40 00:03:09,960 --> 00:03:14,799 Speaker 1: Are we constantly trying to deliver a steady level of performance? 41 00:03:15,919 --> 00:03:21,960 Speaker 1: And are we usually avoiding risk? So let's talk about 42 00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:28,080 Speaker 1: being anxiety neutral. It's important today we all deal with 43 00:03:28,160 --> 00:03:31,080 Speaker 1: so much anxiety in our lives. That we try to 44 00:03:31,080 --> 00:03:35,360 Speaker 1: create a life where we have very little anxiety. And 45 00:03:35,560 --> 00:03:38,360 Speaker 1: I'm sure you can all agree, and you've all had 46 00:03:38,400 --> 00:03:43,000 Speaker 1: the experience of just thinking, I have too much anxiety, 47 00:03:43,040 --> 00:03:48,040 Speaker 1: I have overwhelming anxiety. I am beyond my capacity and 48 00:03:48,280 --> 00:03:53,520 Speaker 1: my ability to deal with anxiety. And when we feel 49 00:03:53,560 --> 00:03:57,200 Speaker 1: that way, we all know that it reduces our ability 50 00:03:57,200 --> 00:04:00,560 Speaker 1: to perform. We know that it makes us less foe focused. 51 00:04:00,840 --> 00:04:04,000 Speaker 1: We know that we feel more distracted, We know that 52 00:04:04,040 --> 00:04:08,680 Speaker 1: we don't feel happy or joyful when we are burdened 53 00:04:09,160 --> 00:04:12,920 Speaker 1: with that much anxiety. We all know that because we've 54 00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:16,320 Speaker 1: experienced it. We've all been at that end when anxiety 55 00:04:16,440 --> 00:04:19,520 Speaker 1: is creeping up on us and it's on our case 56 00:04:20,279 --> 00:04:25,479 Speaker 1: and we can tell that this isn't going to benefit us. Now, 57 00:04:25,480 --> 00:04:30,920 Speaker 1: there's something fascinating there. That's one extreme. The other extreme 58 00:04:31,839 --> 00:04:35,280 Speaker 1: is where we are anxiety neutral, where we have no anxiety. 59 00:04:35,760 --> 00:04:40,400 Speaker 1: We're trying to create this life where we limit anxiety completely. 60 00:04:41,560 --> 00:04:47,560 Speaker 1: And Dodson's Law, Yokers and Dodson. What they found was 61 00:04:47,600 --> 00:04:54,720 Speaker 1: that that actually creates boredom, It creates lethargy. And maybe 62 00:04:54,720 --> 00:04:57,360 Speaker 1: you've noticed this that when you have no anxiety, often 63 00:04:57,440 --> 00:05:00,560 Speaker 1: we create drama or maybe you've no the people in 64 00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:04,520 Speaker 1: your life that they have to create drama because we 65 00:05:04,640 --> 00:05:11,440 Speaker 1: need some anxiety. We need a certain amount of anxiety 66 00:05:11,520 --> 00:05:17,960 Speaker 1: that sparks action, that sparks change, that leads to creativity. 67 00:05:18,040 --> 00:05:20,960 Speaker 1: And that's what Yerkers and Dodson's law talks about, where 68 00:05:20,960 --> 00:05:26,440 Speaker 1: we need an optimal level of anxiety. Too much is overwhelming, 69 00:05:27,279 --> 00:05:33,599 Speaker 1: and too little creates lethargy or complacency or boredom, or 70 00:05:33,640 --> 00:05:39,200 Speaker 1: in some cases makes us move towards drama. It's fascinating, 71 00:05:39,279 --> 00:05:44,960 Speaker 1: isn't it. It's fascinating how this works, and it's incredible 72 00:05:45,160 --> 00:05:50,360 Speaker 1: how we allow ourselves to be completely restricted and limited 73 00:05:51,320 --> 00:05:54,279 Speaker 1: because we believe that anxiety is negative. We believe that 74 00:05:54,360 --> 00:05:57,640 Speaker 1: anxiety is bad, and that's because the anxiety that we've 75 00:05:57,640 --> 00:06:01,960 Speaker 1: been dealing with has been the unhealthy, drama filled anxiety, 76 00:06:02,920 --> 00:06:07,880 Speaker 1: rather than the anxiety that can be positive nerves, the 77 00:06:07,960 --> 00:06:11,479 Speaker 1: anxiety that can be oh yeah, I feel a sense 78 00:06:11,560 --> 00:06:14,680 Speaker 1: of activation or acceleration that I want to get out 79 00:06:14,720 --> 00:06:19,200 Speaker 1: of this zone. So the reason I'm breaking down the 80 00:06:19,320 --> 00:06:23,039 Speaker 1: part of the definition that's anxiety neutral is that often 81 00:06:23,120 --> 00:06:26,719 Speaker 1: wanting to be anxiety neutral is not the answer, but 82 00:06:26,760 --> 00:06:30,640 Speaker 1: it's often the first step, if you're at an overwhelming 83 00:06:30,960 --> 00:06:34,640 Speaker 1: state of anxiety, coming back to anxiety neutral is healthy. 84 00:06:35,160 --> 00:06:39,919 Speaker 1: And then shifting into optimal anxiety is a pathway that 85 00:06:39,960 --> 00:06:42,640 Speaker 1: we can take. Now, how do we do that? When 86 00:06:42,680 --> 00:06:46,520 Speaker 1: you're experiencing high levels of anxiety. You may practice more mindfulness, 87 00:06:46,960 --> 00:06:50,279 Speaker 1: you may practice more breathwork. You may meditate with me 88 00:06:50,720 --> 00:06:54,560 Speaker 1: on the car map for my daily j series. You 89 00:06:54,640 --> 00:06:58,320 Speaker 1: may start putting into practice workout routines that really lowers 90 00:06:58,360 --> 00:07:02,120 Speaker 1: your anxiety. And then how do you invite that optimal, 91 00:07:02,200 --> 00:07:05,159 Speaker 1: healthy anxiety into your life? What do you do when 92 00:07:05,200 --> 00:07:09,240 Speaker 1: you experiment? You try new things, You take a new course, 93 00:07:09,800 --> 00:07:12,880 Speaker 1: you create a new opportunity, you do something you've never 94 00:07:12,920 --> 00:07:18,080 Speaker 1: done before. You add very intentionally anxiety that you know 95 00:07:18,240 --> 00:07:21,840 Speaker 1: is healthy. That's the difference between anxiety that is optimal 96 00:07:21,880 --> 00:07:26,400 Speaker 1: and anxiety that decreases our performance is that anxiety can 97 00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:33,760 Speaker 1: be intentionally invited rather than unintentionally interrupting your life when 98 00:07:33,800 --> 00:07:38,280 Speaker 1: you just end up creating drama rather than creating direction. 99 00:07:39,440 --> 00:07:44,760 Speaker 1: The other part of the definition that Judith Bardwick gave 100 00:07:45,120 --> 00:07:50,040 Speaker 1: of the comfort zone is using a limited set of 101 00:07:50,080 --> 00:07:55,520 Speaker 1: behaviors to deliver a steady level of performance. Now, what 102 00:07:55,640 --> 00:08:00,160 Speaker 1: I find truly interesting about that section is that we 103 00:08:00,200 --> 00:08:02,760 Speaker 1: often think that if we're able to do the same 104 00:08:03,040 --> 00:08:08,320 Speaker 1: level of performance every day, then that creates reliability and 105 00:08:08,480 --> 00:08:14,200 Speaker 1: stability and security. And that may be true, but we 106 00:08:14,240 --> 00:08:17,720 Speaker 1: never get to experience whether our performance could increase, our 107 00:08:17,880 --> 00:08:22,800 Speaker 1: joy could increase, our learning could increase. And when we 108 00:08:22,880 --> 00:08:25,960 Speaker 1: say we want a limited set of behaviors, we're basically 109 00:08:25,960 --> 00:08:28,840 Speaker 1: saying I'm happy with the skills I have. It's why 110 00:08:28,920 --> 00:08:32,360 Speaker 1: so many people after graduating from college never ever try 111 00:08:32,440 --> 00:08:34,679 Speaker 1: to learn a new skill. And what does that do? 112 00:08:34,760 --> 00:08:38,319 Speaker 1: It sets us back in life because as we grow, 113 00:08:38,400 --> 00:08:41,600 Speaker 1: we're required to grow new skills. As we grow older, 114 00:08:42,559 --> 00:08:46,400 Speaker 1: as we experience new things in life, we're required to 115 00:08:46,440 --> 00:08:51,960 Speaker 1: develop new skills. How many new life experiences have you had? 116 00:08:52,520 --> 00:08:56,080 Speaker 1: This is something that Sadat or Buddha before he became 117 00:08:56,120 --> 00:08:59,720 Speaker 1: the Buddha experienced. For those of you that don't know, 118 00:09:00,360 --> 00:09:04,480 Speaker 1: his father tried to keep him inside the kingdom, trapped 119 00:09:04,559 --> 00:09:10,640 Speaker 1: in his comfort zone, to not experience anything uncomfortable. His 120 00:09:10,760 --> 00:09:13,720 Speaker 1: father didn't want him to experience the pains of life 121 00:09:14,640 --> 00:09:17,240 Speaker 1: because he was scared of how it would affect his son. 122 00:09:17,559 --> 00:09:22,480 Speaker 1: When his son escaped to experience life. He saw people 123 00:09:23,240 --> 00:09:27,560 Speaker 1: that were unwell, and he noticed that people got sick. 124 00:09:28,520 --> 00:09:32,200 Speaker 1: He met people in old age, and he realized people 125 00:09:32,240 --> 00:09:36,480 Speaker 1: got old. He was only ever surrounded by youth. And 126 00:09:36,520 --> 00:09:41,040 Speaker 1: then he saw someone die, and he realized that people died. 127 00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:45,800 Speaker 1: He wasn't aware of that. He was so overprotected and 128 00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:51,680 Speaker 1: kept so distant from old age, disease, and death that 129 00:09:51,760 --> 00:09:54,480 Speaker 1: he grew up believing that they didn't exist. And his 130 00:09:54,600 --> 00:09:57,600 Speaker 1: father thought that this would strengthen him and protect him. 131 00:09:58,160 --> 00:10:03,000 Speaker 1: What's really fascinating, though, is that when we protect ourselves 132 00:10:03,720 --> 00:10:09,640 Speaker 1: from experiencing any sort of pain, we actually make ourselves 133 00:10:09,720 --> 00:10:13,840 Speaker 1: more fragile. It's a paradox. You'd think that if you 134 00:10:13,920 --> 00:10:16,800 Speaker 1: protect someone from pain, they get stronger. Actually, if you 135 00:10:16,880 --> 00:10:20,200 Speaker 1: protect someone from pain, they get weaker. They get more 136 00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:23,120 Speaker 1: fragile because they don't know how to deal with it 137 00:10:23,440 --> 00:10:27,480 Speaker 1: when it inevitably will arise in their life. There's a 138 00:10:27,520 --> 00:10:33,080 Speaker 1: beautiful story of two families that live next door to 139 00:10:33,160 --> 00:10:36,880 Speaker 1: each other. One of the families tended perfectly to the 140 00:10:36,960 --> 00:10:41,680 Speaker 1: plants in their garden. They perfectly measured the amount of water. 141 00:10:42,280 --> 00:10:46,160 Speaker 1: They perfectly manage the sunlight. They perfectly took care of 142 00:10:46,200 --> 00:10:51,160 Speaker 1: the soil. Everything was done with extreme accuracy. The other family, 143 00:10:51,800 --> 00:10:55,280 Speaker 1: they cared, They were loving, they were kind to their plants, 144 00:10:55,480 --> 00:10:59,600 Speaker 1: but they weren't always completely accurate. They didn't always get 145 00:10:59,640 --> 00:11:03,960 Speaker 1: it perfectly right, and often their plants didn't look as 146 00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:08,800 Speaker 1: healthy as the next door neighbors. One day there was 147 00:11:08,840 --> 00:11:12,880 Speaker 1: a storm. The storm was horrific. Everyone had to stay 148 00:11:12,920 --> 00:11:17,560 Speaker 1: indoors for days, and neither of the families could tend 149 00:11:17,600 --> 00:11:21,840 Speaker 1: to their plants. A few days after the storm was over, 150 00:11:21,960 --> 00:11:25,440 Speaker 1: both these families came out of their homes to see 151 00:11:25,480 --> 00:11:31,640 Speaker 1: their gardens destroyed. But there was one thing fascinating. The 152 00:11:31,760 --> 00:11:37,360 Speaker 1: family that tended perfectly and accurately to their garden, their 153 00:11:37,400 --> 00:11:44,160 Speaker 1: plants were completely demolished. Their plants had not survived. Now, 154 00:11:44,160 --> 00:11:46,480 Speaker 1: the family that was loving and kind and tried their 155 00:11:46,520 --> 00:11:50,600 Speaker 1: best but were not always perfect or completely accurate, some 156 00:11:50,679 --> 00:11:54,600 Speaker 1: of their plants had survived. Some of their plants had 157 00:11:54,640 --> 00:11:59,319 Speaker 1: made it through the horrific storm. The other family was 158 00:11:59,360 --> 00:12:03,360 Speaker 1: completely amused. How is this even possible? How does that 159 00:12:03,440 --> 00:12:08,600 Speaker 1: even happen? How does that happen? The lesson is really 160 00:12:08,640 --> 00:12:17,440 Speaker 1: interesting that the overbearing molly coddling of ourselves creates fragility, 161 00:12:18,559 --> 00:12:21,560 Speaker 1: It creates weakness, not strength, so that when a storm 162 00:12:21,640 --> 00:12:23,560 Speaker 1: comes and we have to hold our own and we 163 00:12:23,600 --> 00:12:26,160 Speaker 1: have to find a way to get the nourishment and 164 00:12:26,200 --> 00:12:29,439 Speaker 1: the nutrition we need to stay strong and stay standing, 165 00:12:30,320 --> 00:12:32,600 Speaker 1: we don't know how to look for it because we've 166 00:12:32,679 --> 00:12:35,400 Speaker 1: never been able to look for it before. Whereas those 167 00:12:35,400 --> 00:12:38,080 Speaker 1: plants that had to look for some of their own unnourishment, 168 00:12:38,360 --> 00:12:40,559 Speaker 1: they had to look for some of their own stability 169 00:12:40,640 --> 00:12:44,360 Speaker 1: all the way they were able to act on that muscle. 170 00:12:45,240 --> 00:12:47,960 Speaker 1: When we rely on a limited set of behaviors to 171 00:12:48,040 --> 00:12:51,760 Speaker 1: deliver a steady level of performance, we set ourselves up 172 00:12:51,800 --> 00:12:55,040 Speaker 1: for failure because chances are that we're going to have 173 00:12:55,120 --> 00:12:59,840 Speaker 1: a life experience that surprises us. We're going to have something. Now, 174 00:13:00,040 --> 00:13:02,200 Speaker 1: this doesn't apply to how we deal with others. It 175 00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:06,120 Speaker 1: applies how we deal with ourselves. Are we setting ourselves 176 00:13:06,240 --> 00:13:13,040 Speaker 1: up to be fragile by overprotecting ourselves from certain types 177 00:13:13,480 --> 00:13:16,160 Speaker 1: of pain? Now I'm not saying we invite pain. I'm 178 00:13:16,160 --> 00:13:18,680 Speaker 1: not saying we choose pain. I'm not saying to put 179 00:13:18,679 --> 00:13:21,280 Speaker 1: ourselves into pain or put others into pain. What I'm 180 00:13:21,320 --> 00:13:25,240 Speaker 1: saying is where are we staying in our comfort zone 181 00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:31,000 Speaker 1: which is restricting us from growth? Where are we staying 182 00:13:31,040 --> 00:13:35,080 Speaker 1: limited in our comfort zone. That is blocking us from 183 00:13:35,080 --> 00:13:40,520 Speaker 1: achieving our potential. Where are you so trapped in your 184 00:13:40,520 --> 00:13:46,719 Speaker 1: comfort zone because you're scared? And that's fair. I understand that. 185 00:13:46,760 --> 00:13:48,559 Speaker 1: I know what that feels like. I was scared once 186 00:13:48,640 --> 00:13:51,160 Speaker 1: upon a time that I wasn't an entrepreneur. I stayed 187 00:13:51,160 --> 00:13:53,880 Speaker 1: in the comfort zone of being an employee, and I 188 00:13:53,920 --> 00:13:58,319 Speaker 1: would always repeat the words, I'm not an entrepreneur. Today, 189 00:13:58,360 --> 00:14:01,960 Speaker 1: I can't imagine being anything but one. Now, I'm not 190 00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:04,760 Speaker 1: saying that you have to be an entrepreneur. What I'm 191 00:14:04,760 --> 00:14:08,000 Speaker 1: saying is that so many of the titles, so many 192 00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:12,240 Speaker 1: of the status is, so many of the roles we 193 00:14:12,280 --> 00:14:18,320 Speaker 1: take on in life are limited. They're limited by our 194 00:14:18,360 --> 00:14:24,960 Speaker 1: current perception of ourselves, and our current perception could be 195 00:14:25,040 --> 00:14:29,080 Speaker 1: trapped by our comfort zone. And the final part of 196 00:14:29,080 --> 00:14:35,600 Speaker 1: the definition is usually without a sense of risk. Now, 197 00:14:35,760 --> 00:14:40,840 Speaker 1: risk is a really fascinating subject. There are four types 198 00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:45,040 Speaker 1: of risk takers. The first is the conservative risk taker, 199 00:14:45,080 --> 00:14:47,400 Speaker 1: who doesn't take many risks, as we're saying, someone who 200 00:14:47,440 --> 00:14:51,760 Speaker 1: stays in their comfort zone. Casual risk takers they just 201 00:14:51,840 --> 00:14:54,360 Speaker 1: take risks. They hear the NFTs are a thing. All right, 202 00:14:54,400 --> 00:14:56,160 Speaker 1: let's throw some money at it. Crypto is a thing, 203 00:14:56,200 --> 00:14:58,560 Speaker 1: all right, let's throw some money at it. And casual 204 00:14:58,680 --> 00:15:03,000 Speaker 1: risk takers often don't get the rewards because it's so 205 00:15:03,240 --> 00:15:08,160 Speaker 1: casual in intention and in planning that they're really relying 206 00:15:08,200 --> 00:15:12,800 Speaker 1: on luck and they can often have low luck. Now 207 00:15:13,720 --> 00:15:17,080 Speaker 1: beyond that are calculated risk takers. These are people that 208 00:15:17,160 --> 00:15:19,080 Speaker 1: do all the data, they do all the analysis, they 209 00:15:19,120 --> 00:15:22,880 Speaker 1: do all the calculations, and they're very aware of how 210 00:15:22,880 --> 00:15:26,160 Speaker 1: they take risk. This requires deep research and deep knowledge. 211 00:15:27,040 --> 00:15:32,360 Speaker 1: And finally you have conscious risk takers. Conscious risk takers 212 00:15:33,080 --> 00:15:39,480 Speaker 1: are people who apply both intuition and data. They take 213 00:15:39,520 --> 00:15:43,040 Speaker 1: some inspiration and they add insight. They look at the 214 00:15:43,160 --> 00:15:46,560 Speaker 1: stats and they look at the patterns. Now, the interesting 215 00:15:46,600 --> 00:15:49,840 Speaker 1: thing here is that the conscious risk taker is not 216 00:15:49,960 --> 00:15:53,160 Speaker 1: better than the conservative risk taker. The point is that 217 00:15:53,200 --> 00:15:55,680 Speaker 1: it's a journey that we almost go on as far 218 00:15:55,720 --> 00:15:59,640 Speaker 1: as we want to go, and taking bigger risks doesn't 219 00:15:59,640 --> 00:16:02,440 Speaker 1: make more bold. It doesn't make you more courageous. It 220 00:16:02,480 --> 00:16:06,240 Speaker 1: doesn't make you more strong or powerful. It could be stupidity, 221 00:16:06,280 --> 00:16:10,000 Speaker 1: to be honest, it could be ego based, but we 222 00:16:10,160 --> 00:16:13,720 Speaker 1: have to develop a little bit of being a bit 223 00:16:13,760 --> 00:16:17,680 Speaker 1: more pro risk because of the growth that is possible 224 00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:21,440 Speaker 1: when we are able to do that. So I've defined 225 00:16:21,560 --> 00:16:24,480 Speaker 1: for you how our comfort zone restricts us and how 226 00:16:24,520 --> 00:16:29,600 Speaker 1: we stay limited by that. And there's a brilliant diagram 227 00:16:30,240 --> 00:16:34,480 Speaker 1: called leaving the comfort zone. This is a famous diagram 228 00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:38,320 Speaker 1: and it's been out there on many different sides and places. 229 00:16:39,080 --> 00:16:44,000 Speaker 1: I believe the original source maybe from a psychology study, 230 00:16:44,800 --> 00:16:47,320 Speaker 1: and it talks about how there are four zones. It's 231 00:16:47,360 --> 00:16:49,720 Speaker 1: the journey we have to take from the comfort zone 232 00:16:50,200 --> 00:16:53,200 Speaker 1: to the fear zone, to the learning zone to the 233 00:16:53,280 --> 00:16:55,960 Speaker 1: growth zone. So a lot of people say, oh, yeah, 234 00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:58,520 Speaker 1: we'll just jump from the comfort zone to the growth 235 00:16:58,600 --> 00:17:03,040 Speaker 1: zone start growing. That doesn't really happen. That sounds like 236 00:17:03,080 --> 00:17:07,280 Speaker 1: a big decision, a big difference, and doesn't sound realistic. 237 00:17:07,520 --> 00:17:13,840 Speaker 1: So there are two ways of starting this journey. One 238 00:17:14,480 --> 00:17:18,160 Speaker 1: is to move step by step by expanding our comfort zone, 239 00:17:18,880 --> 00:17:23,320 Speaker 1: and the other is to deep dive immersively in being 240 00:17:23,320 --> 00:17:25,960 Speaker 1: out of our comfort zone. Often what we do is 241 00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:28,639 Speaker 1: we don't take the little steps, but we jump in 242 00:17:28,680 --> 00:17:31,959 Speaker 1: the deep end alone. But it's both of the approaches. 243 00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:35,360 Speaker 1: It's the little step mixed with the big immersive experience 244 00:17:35,400 --> 00:17:37,879 Speaker 1: that makes the difference. So in this diagram, the comfort 245 00:17:37,960 --> 00:17:41,280 Speaker 1: zone is a place where we feel safe. We feel secure, 246 00:17:41,400 --> 00:17:43,800 Speaker 1: we feel stability, we feel control. And that's why you 247 00:17:43,840 --> 00:17:46,840 Speaker 1: often hear the idea that if you're not failing, if 248 00:17:46,880 --> 00:17:49,480 Speaker 1: you're not making mistakes. I believe it was Albert Einstein. 249 00:17:49,520 --> 00:17:52,200 Speaker 1: You said, you're not trying anything new. If you're trying 250 00:17:52,200 --> 00:17:55,240 Speaker 1: something new, if you're trying to grow, if you're trying 251 00:17:55,280 --> 00:17:57,800 Speaker 1: to do something different, there will always be failure in 252 00:17:57,840 --> 00:18:00,879 Speaker 1: your life. If you're experiencing failure, it's because you're trying 253 00:18:00,920 --> 00:18:04,600 Speaker 1: something that's never been done before. If you're experiencing rejection, 254 00:18:04,640 --> 00:18:06,880 Speaker 1: it's because you're trying something that is new for you. 255 00:18:07,600 --> 00:18:12,679 Speaker 1: When I find that there's inconsistency, or there's disconnection, or 256 00:18:13,800 --> 00:18:17,400 Speaker 1: things are hard to explain, I get excited about it 257 00:18:17,440 --> 00:18:19,600 Speaker 1: because I remind me and my team we're doing something different, 258 00:18:19,600 --> 00:18:22,399 Speaker 1: we're trying something that hasn't been done before. This is normal. 259 00:18:22,480 --> 00:18:26,679 Speaker 1: We should expect this. It would be surprising if everything 260 00:18:26,680 --> 00:18:29,840 Speaker 1: actually went smoothly. If everything went smoothly, it means we're 261 00:18:29,840 --> 00:18:33,120 Speaker 1: not doing anything incredible. We're not trying anything new, we're 262 00:18:33,160 --> 00:18:37,399 Speaker 1: not trying to do anything magnanimous. So the fear zone 263 00:18:38,080 --> 00:18:40,040 Speaker 1: as described in this diagram is a place where we 264 00:18:40,080 --> 00:18:44,360 Speaker 1: find excuses and we're affected by other people's opinions. How 265 00:18:44,400 --> 00:18:46,920 Speaker 1: many of us don't try anything new because we're scared 266 00:18:47,080 --> 00:18:50,600 Speaker 1: of what will people say? We're scared of what will 267 00:18:50,640 --> 00:18:55,440 Speaker 1: people think. Let's really talk about this. I remember being 268 00:18:55,480 --> 00:18:58,760 Speaker 1: really scared of this, and I've now realized that what 269 00:18:58,840 --> 00:19:02,320 Speaker 1: people think and what people say have genuinely no impact 270 00:19:02,359 --> 00:19:05,720 Speaker 1: on the quality of my life. We live so much 271 00:19:05,800 --> 00:19:11,040 Speaker 1: for perception and reputation that we give up purpose and 272 00:19:11,160 --> 00:19:14,760 Speaker 1: what's truly rewarding. The question you have to ask yourself 273 00:19:14,920 --> 00:19:20,240 Speaker 1: is what's more important to me my passion or my perception. 274 00:19:21,560 --> 00:19:26,000 Speaker 1: What's more important to me my purpose or my perception. 275 00:19:26,800 --> 00:19:32,040 Speaker 1: What's more important to me my potential or my perception. 276 00:19:32,840 --> 00:19:38,080 Speaker 1: What's more important to me the reward or the reputation. 277 00:19:39,359 --> 00:19:45,040 Speaker 1: What's more important to me respecting myself or others respecting me? 278 00:19:47,200 --> 00:19:51,719 Speaker 1: What's more important to me the realizations and the reflections 279 00:19:51,720 --> 00:19:57,280 Speaker 1: are gain or the reputation I hope to maintain. Think 280 00:19:57,320 --> 00:20:02,560 Speaker 1: about that deeply. Which one is going to satisfy you 281 00:20:02,720 --> 00:20:05,960 Speaker 1: most in the long run. Which one is truly going 282 00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:09,920 Speaker 1: to bring you a center of joy? It's the answers 283 00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:12,480 Speaker 1: to those questions that help us get out of living 284 00:20:12,520 --> 00:20:15,920 Speaker 1: in the world of excuses and being affected by other 285 00:20:16,320 --> 00:20:22,040 Speaker 1: people's opinions. The learning zone, as described in this diagram 286 00:20:22,119 --> 00:20:26,680 Speaker 1: is dealing with challenges acquiring new skills, and I find 287 00:20:26,680 --> 00:20:29,480 Speaker 1: this to be the place where we need to spend 288 00:20:29,480 --> 00:20:32,720 Speaker 1: most of our time. I want to share with you 289 00:20:32,960 --> 00:20:37,440 Speaker 1: the biggest news of the year. How many of you 290 00:20:38,040 --> 00:20:40,879 Speaker 1: want to meditate? I can see your heads nodding, I 291 00:20:40,920 --> 00:20:44,120 Speaker 1: can see you raising your hands. I can see you saying, yes, Jay, 292 00:20:44,160 --> 00:20:46,520 Speaker 1: I really want to learn to meditate. How many of 293 00:20:46,560 --> 00:20:50,440 Speaker 1: you would like to learn to meditate with me every 294 00:20:50,480 --> 00:20:53,919 Speaker 1: single day? Now? I already know what the answer is 295 00:20:53,960 --> 00:20:58,399 Speaker 1: because I know how many messages DMS reviews notes that 296 00:20:58,480 --> 00:21:00,679 Speaker 1: I get saying Jay, I'd love to meditate with you. 297 00:21:01,200 --> 00:21:04,919 Speaker 1: Last year, we took meditation to Instagram and I meditated 298 00:21:04,920 --> 00:21:08,240 Speaker 1: for around forty days live and twenty million of you 299 00:21:08,320 --> 00:21:12,480 Speaker 1: tuned in. Now I am taking that same focus, that 300 00:21:12,640 --> 00:21:16,960 Speaker 1: same presence to Calm. I've partnered up with Calm to 301 00:21:17,160 --> 00:21:21,040 Speaker 1: release a new series called The Daily Ja, where you 302 00:21:21,080 --> 00:21:24,719 Speaker 1: can meditate with me every single day for seven minutes. 303 00:21:25,040 --> 00:21:27,879 Speaker 1: To make it a real habit. I would love for 304 00:21:27,880 --> 00:21:30,399 Speaker 1: you to come and join me and take part in 305 00:21:30,520 --> 00:21:34,640 Speaker 1: building a really powerful meditation practice and guess what we're 306 00:21:34,680 --> 00:21:37,680 Speaker 1: going to do it together. Head over right now atcalm 307 00:21:37,800 --> 00:21:40,960 Speaker 1: dot com forward slash j to get forty percent off 308 00:21:40,960 --> 00:21:44,359 Speaker 1: a premium membership. That's calm dot com Forward slash J. 309 00:21:46,720 --> 00:21:48,480 Speaker 1: I did a podcast a few years ago where I 310 00:21:48,520 --> 00:21:56,000 Speaker 1: talked about the five stages of growth. Learn, experiment, perform, struggle, thrive. 311 00:21:57,760 --> 00:22:01,040 Speaker 1: That's the journey of learning. We think we should already know, 312 00:22:01,160 --> 00:22:02,680 Speaker 1: we should have it figured out. Maybe you want to 313 00:22:02,680 --> 00:22:04,520 Speaker 1: get into NFTs, maybe you want to get into crypto, 314 00:22:04,600 --> 00:22:06,240 Speaker 1: or maybe you want to get into social media. Maybe 315 00:22:06,240 --> 00:22:08,119 Speaker 1: you want to do a podcast, and we think we 316 00:22:08,160 --> 00:22:09,800 Speaker 1: should just know how to do it, or if we 317 00:22:09,880 --> 00:22:12,960 Speaker 1: just start and we feel passionate about it, it will work. 318 00:22:14,520 --> 00:22:19,480 Speaker 1: That doesn't work. That truly doesn't work. What works is 319 00:22:19,520 --> 00:22:22,520 Speaker 1: following this five step system. Let me first learn about 320 00:22:22,520 --> 00:22:25,080 Speaker 1: the industry. Let me read books about the industry. Let 321 00:22:25,080 --> 00:22:27,400 Speaker 1: me listen to podcasts about the industry. Let me listen 322 00:22:27,440 --> 00:22:30,280 Speaker 1: to the experts. Let me do a course from the industry. 323 00:22:31,200 --> 00:22:37,040 Speaker 1: That's learning. Learning means diving deeply into getting good industry 324 00:22:37,040 --> 00:22:40,359 Speaker 1: based knowledge. The next step is let me experiment with 325 00:22:40,440 --> 00:22:42,119 Speaker 1: what I learned. Okay, well, Jake said that, Let me 326 00:22:42,160 --> 00:22:44,000 Speaker 1: experiment with that, Let me try that out. Let me 327 00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:48,240 Speaker 1: actually apply that. Let me put that into practice and 328 00:22:48,320 --> 00:22:50,480 Speaker 1: see what I learned. So now I'm not just saying, oh, yeah, 329 00:22:50,480 --> 00:22:52,320 Speaker 1: I did that course, I know how to do it. No, 330 00:22:52,600 --> 00:22:56,560 Speaker 1: let me actually apply, let me practically put that into 331 00:22:57,440 --> 00:23:00,520 Speaker 1: my reality. Oh I learned that I should record a 332 00:23:00,520 --> 00:23:02,840 Speaker 1: podcast in that way, Okay, let me do that. Oh 333 00:23:02,880 --> 00:23:04,480 Speaker 1: I learned that I should post it that time on 334 00:23:04,520 --> 00:23:06,280 Speaker 1: social media, Let me put that. Okay, I learned that 335 00:23:06,320 --> 00:23:08,359 Speaker 1: I should be part of discord. Okay, let me do that. 336 00:23:08,760 --> 00:23:13,640 Speaker 1: Let's actually test an experiment. And in testing and experimenting, 337 00:23:13,640 --> 00:23:16,199 Speaker 1: there will be lots of false starts, there will be 338 00:23:16,240 --> 00:23:19,119 Speaker 1: lots of mistakes. So we start with mini tests and 339 00:23:19,240 --> 00:23:22,439 Speaker 1: mini experiments, and there's mini tests and mini experiments give 340 00:23:22,520 --> 00:23:26,240 Speaker 1: us confidence, to give us learning. We're allowing ourselves to fail. 341 00:23:26,600 --> 00:23:29,480 Speaker 1: When do we allow ourselves to fail? That is getting 342 00:23:29,520 --> 00:23:32,760 Speaker 1: out of our comfort zone. We have to allow ourselves 343 00:23:32,760 --> 00:23:38,080 Speaker 1: to make mistakes. I allow myself daily weekly to make mistakes. 344 00:23:39,040 --> 00:23:41,920 Speaker 1: I'm okay now with making mistakes because that's the only 345 00:23:41,960 --> 00:23:46,359 Speaker 1: way I'll grow. We all know this. It's so well known, 346 00:23:46,440 --> 00:23:49,320 Speaker 1: the analogy of when you're learning to walk. You have 347 00:23:49,400 --> 00:23:52,600 Speaker 1: no idea how many times you fell down, but you 348 00:23:52,680 --> 00:23:55,040 Speaker 1: got back up, and you walk today without falling down, 349 00:23:55,080 --> 00:23:59,280 Speaker 1: hopefully regularly. Right, But imagine you just said no, no, no, 350 00:23:59,320 --> 00:24:02,200 Speaker 1: If I don't walk this time, I'm not getting up again. 351 00:24:02,359 --> 00:24:05,040 Speaker 1: If it doesn't work this time, I quit. We'd still 352 00:24:05,080 --> 00:24:08,439 Speaker 1: be crawling as adults. We don't want to be crawling 353 00:24:08,440 --> 00:24:13,920 Speaker 1: as adults. Think about that for a moment. The next 354 00:24:13,920 --> 00:24:17,160 Speaker 1: stage is perform. Once you experiment, you get into a 355 00:24:17,240 --> 00:24:24,119 Speaker 1: cycle of consistency. You perform, you deliver. You're in the 356 00:24:24,320 --> 00:24:28,200 Speaker 1: zone now, and of course you have struggle. You struggle 357 00:24:28,240 --> 00:24:30,680 Speaker 1: at every step, but struggle definitely comes to this step 358 00:24:30,720 --> 00:24:32,680 Speaker 1: because now you have to innovate. Now you have to create. 359 00:24:32,760 --> 00:24:36,720 Speaker 1: Now you have to pivot. Performance requires pivoting, it requires adapting. 360 00:24:37,960 --> 00:24:41,240 Speaker 1: Then you get to thrive. You finally thrive. But the 361 00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:44,000 Speaker 1: problem is we want to go from I like this too, 362 00:24:44,040 --> 00:24:46,680 Speaker 1: I want to win at this. I like this too. 363 00:24:46,720 --> 00:24:49,040 Speaker 1: I want to be the best of this. I enjoy this. 364 00:24:49,280 --> 00:24:53,919 Speaker 1: It should work. We skip every single step that is 365 00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:59,320 Speaker 1: in this journey to actually get to thrive, to actually 366 00:24:59,359 --> 00:25:04,960 Speaker 1: get to the space where we win. So how do 367 00:25:05,000 --> 00:25:08,040 Speaker 1: you get out of your comfort zone this week? I 368 00:25:08,119 --> 00:25:12,720 Speaker 1: want you to start really small one thing. Maybe take 369 00:25:12,760 --> 00:25:15,480 Speaker 1: a new journey to work this week. Try a new path, 370 00:25:15,600 --> 00:25:18,840 Speaker 1: try a new road, just take a new journey to work. 371 00:25:19,640 --> 00:25:22,600 Speaker 1: Another way to get out of your comfort zone is 372 00:25:22,600 --> 00:25:24,840 Speaker 1: work in a different environment this week. You may hate 373 00:25:24,840 --> 00:25:28,400 Speaker 1: it at first, but give it a go. Another way 374 00:25:28,400 --> 00:25:29,720 Speaker 1: to get out of your comfort zone is have a 375 00:25:29,760 --> 00:25:34,000 Speaker 1: cold shower in the morning. Give it a go. And 376 00:25:34,040 --> 00:25:36,000 Speaker 1: then you may take on a new project at work. 377 00:25:36,480 --> 00:25:39,240 Speaker 1: You may take on a new responsibility. You may take 378 00:25:39,280 --> 00:25:42,639 Speaker 1: on a new course or a new program. What is 379 00:25:42,680 --> 00:25:47,600 Speaker 1: it that you can do to start small and then accelerate. 380 00:25:48,840 --> 00:25:51,760 Speaker 1: I really hope that this encourages you and helps you 381 00:25:51,880 --> 00:25:54,160 Speaker 1: navigate what it means to get out of your comfort zone. 382 00:25:54,640 --> 00:25:57,480 Speaker 1: I appreciate you tuning in and being a part of 383 00:25:57,520 --> 00:26:00,720 Speaker 1: this community, and I want to to take these last 384 00:26:00,760 --> 00:26:03,480 Speaker 1: few minutes to read some of my favorite reviews that 385 00:26:03,520 --> 00:26:07,120 Speaker 1: have seen about on purpose And as always, please give 386 00:26:07,119 --> 00:26:08,720 Speaker 1: your name because I want to read your name out. 387 00:26:09,119 --> 00:26:11,920 Speaker 1: This is Keyana. I've been listening to Jay for about 388 00:26:11,960 --> 00:26:13,800 Speaker 1: a year now and reading his book Think Like a 389 00:26:13,840 --> 00:26:16,360 Speaker 1: Monk I'm on a healing journey and wanting to find 390 00:26:16,400 --> 00:26:19,800 Speaker 1: more peace within as well as live a life of mindfulness, 391 00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:23,240 Speaker 1: and this podcast has been more than insightful. I often 392 00:26:23,280 --> 00:26:25,840 Speaker 1: listen to discuss what I've learned with friends and even 393 00:26:25,840 --> 00:26:28,600 Speaker 1: shared the podcast with friends and family. It has helped 394 00:26:28,600 --> 00:26:31,280 Speaker 1: me enjoy being in the present as well as being 395 00:26:31,359 --> 00:26:34,399 Speaker 1: mindful with my choice throughout my day to day. I 396 00:26:34,440 --> 00:26:36,760 Speaker 1: will continue to tune in and apply the knowledge to 397 00:26:36,800 --> 00:26:40,719 Speaker 1: my everyday life. Keiana, that brings joy. Thank you so 398 00:26:40,720 --> 00:26:44,880 Speaker 1: so much. I'm so grateful to read that. Okay, looking 399 00:26:44,920 --> 00:26:48,199 Speaker 1: for more names everyone, This is Jen. The timing of 400 00:26:48,240 --> 00:26:51,040 Speaker 1: when you started your podcast was truly perfect. It came 401 00:26:51,080 --> 00:26:53,000 Speaker 1: at a time of so much turmoil and pressure in 402 00:26:53,040 --> 00:26:56,360 Speaker 1: the world. I had to readjust my spiritual journey last year, 403 00:26:56,680 --> 00:26:58,960 Speaker 1: and God has honored my spiritual reach out in so 404 00:26:59,000 --> 00:27:02,399 Speaker 1: many ways your podcast. I've found so much great advice 405 00:27:02,400 --> 00:27:05,400 Speaker 1: in your episodes, and I am abundantly grateful for your life. 406 00:27:05,560 --> 00:27:08,480 Speaker 1: I've started considering signing up a genius as well to 407 00:27:08,560 --> 00:27:11,919 Speaker 1: grow even more towards my life purpose. Thank you, thank you, 408 00:27:12,040 --> 00:27:15,920 Speaker 1: thank you, Chen. I love that. Okay, I'm going to 409 00:27:16,000 --> 00:27:19,080 Speaker 1: read one more. I love how long these are, and 410 00:27:19,119 --> 00:27:23,080 Speaker 1: how beautiful these are. They're truly incredible. I'm going to 411 00:27:23,160 --> 00:27:26,200 Speaker 1: read one without a name because i just want to. Jay. 412 00:27:26,320 --> 00:27:28,720 Speaker 1: I cannot even tell you how many different podcasts have 413 00:27:28,800 --> 00:27:31,439 Speaker 1: gone through. On Purpose is the only podcast I've been 414 00:27:31,440 --> 00:27:34,120 Speaker 1: listening to from the beginning and stayed subscribe to. Your 415 00:27:34,119 --> 00:27:37,080 Speaker 1: content is so original and refreshing. It makes me excited 416 00:27:37,119 --> 00:27:39,480 Speaker 1: to jump out of bed every Monday and Friday morning. 417 00:27:39,720 --> 00:27:42,040 Speaker 1: It starts and ends my work week in the best way. 418 00:27:42,240 --> 00:27:45,400 Speaker 1: Thank you for keeping us entertained and educated. You've made 419 00:27:45,400 --> 00:27:48,760 Speaker 1: the podcast world a different place. Thank you for leaving 420 00:27:48,760 --> 00:27:52,200 Speaker 1: your podcast. We're nearly at seventeen thousand, five hundred podcasts 421 00:27:52,240 --> 00:27:53,880 Speaker 1: by the end of this year. We want to reach 422 00:27:53,960 --> 00:27:57,080 Speaker 1: twenty thousand. Please, Peace, Peace, come and help us. Thank 423 00:27:57,080 --> 00:27:58,880 Speaker 1: you for listening. I'll see you next week.