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Speaker 1: This is Cowboys Sam, and this is eh John, And

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Speaker 1: we've last owed in some amazing stories for you all

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Speaker 1: the Okay Storytime podcasts.

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Speaker 2: But before that we got a wrangle, a quick little

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Speaker 2: two minute out break from those bucking sponsors.

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Speaker 1: We bucking love so much they paid us the bucks

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Speaker 1: to help this show stay alive.

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Speaker 3: My fiance refused to put my name on the mortgage,

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Speaker 3: so I refuse to pay.

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Speaker 4: If it ain't got my name on it, then it

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Speaker 4: ain't mine.

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Speaker 1: Facts. We learned that in first grade.

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Speaker 3: For some background, I twenty nine female and my fiance

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Speaker 3: thirty mail, have been together for ten years. We had

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Speaker 3: a baby back in twenty twenty and I lost my

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Speaker 3: job around the same time, or least to Our apartment

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Speaker 3: was up and my grandma offered for us to move

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Speaker 3: in with her, so we did. We basically had our

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Speaker 3: own little apartment rent free. By the way, this comes

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Speaker 3: from user embarrassing Lemon, and if you want to submit

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Speaker 3: your own stories, go to the r slash Okay Storytime subbreddit.

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Speaker 3: So I had thrown the idea of going to school

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Speaker 3: out there and everyone agreed.

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Speaker 1: It was a good idea.

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Speaker 3: My fiance paid for it, and my grandma watched my

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Speaker 3: baby while I went to class. I graduate this semester.

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Speaker 3: I did part time for a couple semesters, and my

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Speaker 3: fiance has been making ninety thousand dollars a year for

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Speaker 3: the past couple of years, and seventy thousand when we

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Speaker 3: first moved in.

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Speaker 1: He saved a good amount of money.

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Speaker 3: We agreed to wait to get married until I finished

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Speaker 3: school and we could buy a house together. We've been

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Speaker 3: looking at houses more seriously for the past couple of months,

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Speaker 3: and we found one we both love. We started talking

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Speaker 3: to a mortgage broker and that's when he dropped the

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Speaker 3: bomb on it.

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Speaker 1: Being him and only him on the mortgage and the deed.

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Speaker 1: He said, I wouldn't have anything to do with it.

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Speaker 3: I didn't say anything in the meeting, but afterwards I

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Speaker 3: told him I thought we were buying the house together. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: and I'd pay half the mortgage. He said, I would

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Speaker 3: be paying half the mortgage, but my name just wouldn't

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Speaker 3: be on it.

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Speaker 4: If you're pan half the mortgage, put your name on it, man.

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Speaker 3: I told him that would mean I had no right

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Speaker 3: to the house, and he said he knew. He said,

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Speaker 3: since he saved the forty percent down, that it's own

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Speaker 3: fair that he has the rights to the house in

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Speaker 3: case we end things. I told him, if that's what

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Speaker 3: he wants to do, then I'm not paying for the mortgage.

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Speaker 3: I said, this isn't a partnership, and if he just

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Speaker 3: wants his own place, that's fine, but I'm not paying

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Speaker 3: for it. He called me a b He says that

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Speaker 3: he paid for everything for the past few years, including

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Speaker 3: my schooling. I told him I stayed home and watched

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Speaker 3: our child so we didn't have to pay for daycare

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Speaker 3: and that ended up saving us money since I would

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Speaker 3: have only been able to work part time. He said

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Speaker 3: he didn't care, and that I need to pay for

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Speaker 3: half since I already agreed to it. Well, which is fine.

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Speaker 3: Put me on the mortgage.

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Speaker 4: Put me on the mortgage, then, thank god, you guys

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Speaker 4: are marriage.

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Speaker 1: Yet read it? Am I the a hole for refusing

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Speaker 1: to pay the mortgage? Not at all? Not at all?

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Speaker 3: No, don't you even offer to compromise on Nope, See,

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Speaker 3: that's fine if you want you weren't like, how dare you?

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Speaker 1: Were like?

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Speaker 3: Fine, if you want the house, you can have the house,

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Speaker 3: but you have to pay for the mortgage.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, if you want it to be just your house

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Speaker 4: and buy.

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Speaker 1: Yes, So there's an edit here.

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Speaker 3: Originally we were supposed to move in with my grandma

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Speaker 3: for a few months while we saved some money for

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Speaker 3: renting a new place. I thought maybe it'd be a

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Speaker 3: good idea to go to school so I'd make more

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Speaker 3: money and we could pentually buy a place. My grandma

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Speaker 3: said we should stay with her until I finished school

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Speaker 3: so we could save up for a life together, and

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Speaker 3: my fiance and I agreed that we would be buying

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Speaker 3: a house together. He paid for the schooling because we

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Speaker 3: were getting married and my student loans would have been

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Speaker 3: our problem, not just mine. He encouraged me to finish

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Speaker 3: my education so we could give our child a better

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Speaker 3: quality of life. Another edit for those of you saying

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Speaker 3: him paying for my schooling would be more expensive than rent.

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Speaker 3: My schooling in total cost seventeen thousand dollars across five years,

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Speaker 3: which is thirty four hundred dollars a year on average,

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Speaker 3: and there is an update.

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Speaker 1: First, thank you to everyone who commented.

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Speaker 3: A lot of you had great insight and were very

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Speaker 3: supportive to those who weren't. I got to see a

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Speaker 3: perspective of how my fiance might be feeling so thank

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Speaker 3: you for that too, although some of you were extremely misogynistic.

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Speaker 3: To answer some questions, my grandma offered to give us

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Speaker 3: a place to say for a few months while I

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Speaker 3: looked for a job so we could save some money.

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Speaker 3: This was the beginning of the lockdown, and no one

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Speaker 3: was sure what the job market would look like in

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Speaker 3: the few I brought up finishing my degree and my

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Speaker 3: grandma offered to watch the baby while I was in class.

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Speaker 3: My fiance said he'd pay for it since we didn't

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Speaker 3: have to pay for rent or daycare. He called it

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Speaker 3: my schooling, an investment in our future. I got a

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Speaker 3: pell grant and a scholarship, so we ended up only

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Speaker 3: having to pay on average thirty four hundred dollars a

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Speaker 3: year for the schooling. If I wasn't going to school.

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Speaker 3: My grandma didn't want us staying there long term. This

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Speaker 3: was purely her trying to give us a leg up

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Speaker 3: and help us in our future. She wouldn't have done

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Speaker 3: so if she knew what my fiance was going to do.

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Speaker 3: She has said this for the update. I told my

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Speaker 3: fiance we needed to talk about this arrangement, and I

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Speaker 3: asked why he changed his mind. All of a sudden,

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Speaker 3: He said, he worked hard for his money and didn't

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Speaker 3: want to lose everything if we got divorced.

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Speaker 4: That's what prenups are for. What prenups are for.

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Speaker 1: Why did we not? Are we not gonna do that?

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Speaker 1: Do we not? Are we not doing that?

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Speaker 4: He's thinking so selfishly because right now, supposedly they're in

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Speaker 4: her relateous respects, supposedly good right, but his thinking is, well,

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Speaker 4: I want you to get nothing right now while they're

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Speaker 4: in a good relationship. He's not even thinking like, oh,

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Speaker 4: if we got divorced, I would want, you know, it

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Speaker 4: to be fair and equitable, like hopefully that never happens.

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Speaker 4: Right now, he's thinking, I want you to get nothing.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I want you to have no rights to the house.

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Speaker 3: I said that was fair, But he's now putting me

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Speaker 3: in a position to lose everything if I have zero

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Speaker 3: rights to the property. He said, I didn't save up

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Speaker 3: the money, so the house should be his and his alone,

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Speaker 3: unless I also put down forty percent. I asked if

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Speaker 3: he consider a prenup that would give him the.

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Speaker 1: Four put down. Oh yeah, and we'd.

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Speaker 3: Split fifty fifty the rest of the equity. I said,

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Speaker 3: this would protect the lump sum he put down, which

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Speaker 3: was his money, while also giving me equity I'd be

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Speaker 3: paying for. He said he'd have to think about it,

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Speaker 3: but he doesn't like the idea of having to sell

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Speaker 3: if we split.

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Speaker 4: Why he's only thinking about you, guys divorcing. Don't get

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Speaker 4: married to a man that literally only thinks about you,

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Speaker 4: guys divorcing.

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Speaker 3: I said, then he can get his own place that

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Speaker 3: he can afford on his own if he doesn't want

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Speaker 3: me on the title that badly. This one he could

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Speaker 3: barely afford with just his income. I'm not sure if

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Speaker 3: he'd even be approved for the mortgage on his own.

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Speaker 3: To be honest, I also mentioned that I wanted to

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Speaker 3: do couple's therapy before we got married, and he said no,

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Speaker 3: that we didn't need therapy, and I just needed to

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Speaker 3: listen to him.

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Speaker 1: He's been red pilled. Yeah, he's been red pilled.

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Speaker 4: We're done. This relationship can't work. Relationship, it cannot work

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Speaker 4: if he cannot compromise, cannot communicate, and refuses to get therapy.

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Speaker 3: He's literally rocking with like the biblical definition of like

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Speaker 3: the husbands and wives. So that was the end of

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Speaker 3: that conversation. I don't know who this person is. This

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Speaker 3: is not the man I had a child with. The

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Speaker 3: man I had a child with massaged me every night

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Speaker 3: while I was pregnant. He listened attentively to every random

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Speaker 3: thing I wanted to talk about. He treated me with

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Speaker 3: the utmost respect, and he was the only person I

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Speaker 3: wanted with me while I gave birth. He used to

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Speaker 3: say he could never hurt me or screw me over

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Speaker 3: because it would hurt our child. I love him so much.

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Speaker 3: I don't know what happened. Usually when people like boil

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Speaker 3: their own plans that have been set for a long time,

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Speaker 3: it's because they're trying to create a problem that the

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Speaker 3: other person has to make a decision about. Yep, there's

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Speaker 3: a second update. Thank you to everyone who commented on

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Speaker 3: my last post. You show me that I'm not alone

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Speaker 3: in this and that other people have gone through the

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Speaker 3: same and Folks, that's true about almost every.

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Speaker 1: Situation in life. You're never alone.

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Speaker 4: No situation, no singular situation is unique.

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Speaker 3: I also feel vindicated in my decision to not pay

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Speaker 3: half the mortgage if I'm not on the deed anyways,

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Speaker 3: Tonight he and I got to talking about the arrangement again.

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Speaker 3: He said he didn't want to do the prenup I

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Speaker 3: mentioned in my last update, so I told him my

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Speaker 3: final offer was couple's therapy and getting married before we

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Speaker 3: buy a house. I told him we should get a

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Speaker 3: rental temporarily until we figure everything out and come to

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Speaker 3: an agreement. The outright refused again. He said he didn't

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Speaker 3: want to waste money renting. He then said, I'm not

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Speaker 3: entitled to any of his money, and he won't buy

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Speaker 3: a house after we marry because I'll just win it

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Speaker 3: in a divorce prevorce right now, prevorce.

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Speaker 4: He's already at the trouble buddy, He's already in prevorce mode.

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Speaker 1: I'm mostly just getting married for the divorce. Yeah, and

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Speaker 1: I I want to make sure I win it.

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Speaker 3: Dude, I'm a win I said, fine, we won't get married.

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Speaker 3: He asked if I was breaking up with him, and

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Speaker 3: I said, I don't know, but I need face.

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Speaker 4: He broke up with her a while ago.

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Speaker 1: He lost his marbles.

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Speaker 3: He called me a witch and a gold digger, and

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Speaker 3: told me I owe him thirty thousand dollars, which I

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Speaker 3: don't know where he got that number from. He said,

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Speaker 3: I'm used up and no one will ever want me again.

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Speaker 3: Oh thank god you didn't marry this man.

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Speaker 1: Yep, yep.

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Speaker 3: He went on a rant yelling at me for about

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Speaker 3: three minutes until my grandma came over to us and

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Speaker 3: told him to leave. He's staying in the night at

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Speaker 3: a hotel and has called me repeatedly. He's left a

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Speaker 3: few angry voicemails. I just feel so numb. My baby

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Speaker 3: is confused and keeps asking why I'm upset and where

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Speaker 3: their dad went.

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Speaker 1: I hate this entirely.

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Speaker 3: To everyone who mentioned he might have gotten in with

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Speaker 3: the manosphere or red pill content, you were right. I

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Speaker 3: looked at who he subscribed to on YouTube, and sure

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Speaker 3: enough I saw Joe Rogan, Fresh and Fit Podcast, Just

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Speaker 3: Pearly Things and Aiden Ross. I just like interesting stuff, dude.

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Speaker 3: I don't want to watch stuff people telling me how

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Speaker 3: I need to think, or how I need to act

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Speaker 3: or out need to be. I just like watching cool

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Speaker 3: people talk about stuff.

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Speaker 4: I just don't understand how you can be in a

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Speaker 4: relationship seemingly successful, have a child and then watch all

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Speaker 4: of these red pill things that are like if you

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Speaker 4: want to be an alfa male and have a girl

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Speaker 4: that loves you, and then believe them like right, you're

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Speaker 4: in this beautiful like the loving relationship you.

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Speaker 1: Already crossed the finish yeah stuff.

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Speaker 4: Like all of those advice things are usually about trying

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Speaker 4: to get a woman. You're already at a relationship with her, right,

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Speaker 4: Like what I don't understand. I don't understand.

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Speaker 3: Yes, she clearly like looked up to you and respected

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Speaker 3: you for the you know, the money that you brought

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Speaker 3: home and for helping her and like was like excited

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Speaker 3: to build her life alongside you.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: Like I understand in a messed up way, why like

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Speaker 4: men who never have never been in a relationship or

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Speaker 4: are like chronically single, why they get sucked into these

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Speaker 4: these patterns of thinking because they're angry and lonely and

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Speaker 4: blame women for the problem stuff. I understand why they

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Speaker 4: get sucked into these rabbit holes. But like, like a

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Speaker 4: person in a healthy relationship, I don't get out you

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Speaker 4: would like succumb to that brainwashing so easily, probably.

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Speaker 1: Because having a kid is hard.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, And he's like, well, my child doesn't respect me,

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Speaker 4: and my wife watched me to take care of her

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Speaker 4: child or something like that.

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Speaker 3: I don't know, it's safe to say he's falling down

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Speaker 3: the menosphere.

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Speaker 1: Rabbit hole.

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Speaker 3: I know the man I fell in love with is gone,

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Speaker 3: and there's nothing I can do about it. By the way,

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Speaker 3: you know what you can do is listen to full

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Speaker 3: episodes with stories just like this on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, iHeartRadio,

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Speaker 3: wherever you listen to podcasts. All you gotta do is

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Speaker 3: search Okay story time, and you've got every episode we've

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Speaker 3: ever recorded in the palm of your hands, just waiting.

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Speaker 3: Your ears are just ooh, they're just begging to listen

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Speaker 3: to him to why don't you just do that? There

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Speaker 3: were definitely signs I didn't notice. He was always saying

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Speaker 3: he was saving his money and he was buying a house.

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Speaker 3: He also said on more than one occasion he was

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Speaker 3: the man of the house. He got really big on

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Speaker 3: being a provider and protector. I didn't put it all

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Speaker 3: together until now. His behavior change has been pretty recent,

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Speaker 3: like the last eight or nine months. And that's it.

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Speaker 3: My life's a crap show. Writing it out has been

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Speaker 3: somewhat therapeutic. Thank you all again for your support.

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Speaker 1: And that is the end of this. Leave him, Let

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Speaker 1: him know, man.

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Speaker 4: I got my boyfriend with his ex, so I took

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Speaker 4: off the.

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Speaker 1: Ring and lefto you go girl, Let's go.

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Speaker 4: And trigger warning for essay as in an unrequited kiss.

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Speaker 4: Hi all, it's been a week since I left my

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Speaker 4: fiance's apartment and guilt is starting to eat me up,

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Speaker 4: so I decided to post and maybe get some outside perspective.

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Speaker 4: By the way, this comes from Runaway Patat and if

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Speaker 4: you want to submit your own stories, go to the

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Speaker 4: r slash Okay storytime separate it. So for background, my

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Speaker 4: fiance twenty seven male let's call him Jake, and I

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Speaker 4: twenty seven female, met during the last two years of

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Speaker 4: high school. His parents are both business people in the city,

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Speaker 4: but moved to our town for a change of scenery.

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Speaker 4: I was the first one to actually talk to him

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Speaker 4: and introduced him to my friends. He was very shy,

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Speaker 4: but got comfy with us. We eventually became best friends.

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Speaker 4: Later on, I developed a huge crush on him, but

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Speaker 4: didn't confess as I was afraid that if my feelings

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Speaker 4: were unrequited it would affect our friendship. I used to

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Speaker 4: tease him about us getting married when we grow up, though,

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Speaker 4: and he would go along with it. We got separated

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Speaker 4: in college as we took different fields. He took business

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Speaker 4: ad and I took it, and he attended his dream

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Speaker 4: school back in the city, which his parents fully supported. I,

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Speaker 4: on the other hand, attended a local college as we

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Speaker 4: weren't wealthy enough to get me anywhere. My mom passed

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Speaker 4: away when I was seven, which destroyed my dad. He

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Speaker 4: fell into bad habits and only pulled himself together when

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Speaker 4: he had a health scare when I was twelve. He

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Speaker 4: had to switch to a lighter job. Because of this,

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Speaker 4: we're living comfortably, but I didn't want to bother him

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Speaker 4: for my personal expenses, so I took a part time

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Speaker 4: job at my aunt's bakery. I also took a scholarship,

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Speaker 4: which helped my dad with my college expenses. Jake would

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Speaker 4: go home to visit his parents every weekend. This was

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Speaker 4: also the time when our friend group would hang out.

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Speaker 4: As time passed, our friends started to get busier, to

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Speaker 4: the point that it was just the two of us

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Speaker 4: who continued hanging out. During this time, he met his

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Speaker 4: then girlfriend, twenty seven female let's call hurt Claire. He

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Speaker 4: asked me one weekend if he should confess, and I

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Speaker 4: told them if that's what would make him happy. A

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Speaker 4: month later, he brought Claire with him to introduce her

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Speaker 4: to his parents as well as our friend group. Claire

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Speaker 4: was visibly tense around me, so I did my best

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Speaker 4: so she wouldn't be. Jake didn't visit as often anymore,

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Speaker 4: but if he did, he would always bring Claire with him.

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Speaker 4: As for me, I still had feelings for him, but

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Speaker 4: seeing him happy was already enough for me. I respected

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Speaker 4: his relationship and became more careful with my interactions with him.

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Speaker 4: We used to chat a lot, but now we only

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Speaker 4: chatted if he initiated. Whenever the two of them came

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Speaker 4: to visit, I maintained my distance and avoided crossing any boundaries. However,

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Speaker 4: one weekend, Jake came alone and asked me if we

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Speaker 4: could talk. Side note about Jake, He's stupidly honest. When

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Speaker 4: he wants to say something important, he always wants to

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Speaker 4: do it personally, not through chat, text, call, or even

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Speaker 4: a third party. That's why I was so nervous when

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Speaker 4: he asked me. I met him in our usual hangout spot,

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Speaker 4: and there he told me that we might not be

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Speaker 4: able to hang out anymore as often. He told me

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Speaker 4: that Claire was actually not comfortable with our friendship and

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Speaker 4: they had already started having some disagreements. He told me

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Speaker 4: he was sorry that he didn't know what to do.

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Speaker 4: I told him that it was okay and that I

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Speaker 4: would always be right here if he needed. Once I

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Speaker 4: got home, I chatted with Claire and apologized for making

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Speaker 4: her feel uncomfortable. She apologized too, and acknowledged my efforts

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Speaker 4: for not crossing any boundaries, but she just couldn't shake

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Speaker 4: the feeling of unease. After that, I cried the whole night. Thankfully,

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Speaker 4: my dad was there to comfort me. He told me

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Speaker 4: to let all my pain out, and I promised myself

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Speaker 4: to never cry for the same reason again. After that,

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Speaker 4: the communication between Jake and me went down to just

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Speaker 4: greetings during birthdays and holidays. Just focused on myself and

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Speaker 4: was able to get my degree. I took some interviews

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Speaker 4: and landed a job in the city. I had to

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Speaker 4: move to the city alone at first, but after my

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Speaker 4: dad relapsed and got hospitalized, I brought him with me.

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Speaker 4: At first, he didn't want to come, as he hated

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Speaker 4: living in the city, but I was persistent. I didn't

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Speaker 4: want him out of my sight. I didn't want to

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Speaker 4: lose another parent. One afternoon during late October of twenty nineteen,

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Speaker 4: I was doing some groceries. When I bumped into Jake,

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Speaker 4: I was so surprised to see him personally after almost

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Speaker 4: four years. He greeted me and said he was relocating

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Speaker 4: to this city and was living nearby. He then invited

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Speaker 4: me to a nearby cafe to catch up, which I accepted.

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Speaker 4: To be pretty much caught up on everything that happened,

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Speaker 4: I asked him how he and Claire were doing. He

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Speaker 4: said that they had broken up around March that year.

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Speaker 4: He told me they discovered how different their life goals were,

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Speaker 4: which led to a lot of arguments. They decided to

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Speaker 4: split up on good terms, but he said it actually

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Speaker 4: hurt him so much as Claire was his first love.

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Speaker 4: The air felt tense, so I just shifted the conversation

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Speaker 4: back to our high school days. He brought up how

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Speaker 4: I used to tease him about marrying him when we

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Speaker 4: grew up, and I joked about us being adults now.

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Speaker 4: At that moment, I just decided to confess to him, Wow,

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Speaker 4: that I actually had a huge crush on him, and

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Speaker 4: decided not to confess because I was afraid to lose

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Speaker 4: the friendship we had. You still have a crush on

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Speaker 4: him after four years?

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Speaker 1: I don't think that was the right moment.

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Speaker 4: That wasn't the right moment, categorically not the right moment.

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Speaker 4: You still had a crush after four years, like an

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Speaker 4: active crush. I then let go of it. When he

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Speaker 4: brought Claire one day as a sign of respect to

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Speaker 4: their relationship, he again fell silent, then apologized. He said

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Speaker 4: he just realized how big the impact probably was when

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Speaker 4: he asked me to go low contact for Claire's sake.

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Speaker 4: I told him that it was fine and that I

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Speaker 4: thought that it was the best that we could do

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Speaker 4: to put Claire at ease. At the time, he was

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Speaker 4: visibly guilty, so I told him that it was all

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Speaker 4: in the past now. After that, he offered to drive

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Speaker 4: me home, which saved me some money on commute. I

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Speaker 4: thanked him and we started chatting again like the old times.

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Speaker 4: Our friend group decided to have a reunion around December

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Speaker 4: that year. It was also when Jake asked me on

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Speaker 4: a date. He said he did some reflection and realized

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Speaker 4: that maybe he was actually dating the wrong girl all along. Shocked,

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Speaker 4: I agreed to the date and it led to another

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Speaker 4: until we became official. Then came twenty twenty, with the

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Speaker 4: threat of the virus a view rush, My dad and

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Speaker 4: I decided to go back to town before the city

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Speaker 4: locked down. Jake also decided to be with his family

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Speaker 4: during this time, so all three of us traveled back

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Speaker 4: to town. Jake introduced me as his girlfriend to his

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Speaker 4: parents through video call. They already knew me for a

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Speaker 4: long time, as I was the first friend Jake had

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Speaker 4: back in high school. They were overjoyed about it, which

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Speaker 4: made us happy. Mid twenty twenty two, I lost my dad.

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Speaker 4: I was so mad at myself as I was seeing

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Speaker 4: the signs. I was begging him to get checked, but

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Speaker 4: he kept telling me he was fine. We got him checked,

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Speaker 4: but it was too late. I was so heart broken

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Speaker 4: losing my remaining parent. Fortunately, my aunt's family and Jake's

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Speaker 4: family were very supportive.

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Speaker 1: Don't blame yourself, can't blame yourself for that. Yeah, it's

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Speaker 1: not you.

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Speaker 4: Jake even promised on my dad's grave that he would

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Speaker 4: take care of me for the rest of our lives,

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Speaker 4: which brought me to tears. After his funeral, we decided

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Speaker 4: that I'd move to Jake's apartment. We had to go

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Speaker 4: back to the city as companies started requiring employees to

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Speaker 4: go back to the office again. And from then on

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Speaker 4: we were living together. Fast forward to Jake's departments near's

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Speaker 4: party in twenty twenty four. Their families were invited, but

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Speaker 4: since Jake's parents weren't able to travel, I was the

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Speaker 4: only one he could bring. What I didn't expect was

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Speaker 4: him proposing to me that night. Everyone was in on it,

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Speaker 4: and it was actually so magical after everything that happened

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Speaker 4: between us back in college, this is something I never

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Speaker 4: imagined would happen.

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Speaker 1: But here we are.

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Speaker 4: It was actually a dream come true. We decided to

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Speaker 4: get married in June. I thought everything would be smooth

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Speaker 4: from here, but unfortunately this is when everything started to

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Speaker 4: go downhill. Ah any here we are at the problem.

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Speaker 4: Around March twenty twenty four, I started to see some

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Speaker 4: changes in Jake. He was a bit distant, I didn't

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Speaker 4: talk as much before. Worried, I immediately talked to him

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Speaker 4: about this. He told me that this was actually a

439
00:18:19,760 --> 00:18:22,879
Speaker 4: very challenging year for their company, even more than the last.

440
00:18:23,160 --> 00:18:25,880
Speaker 4: He blamed it on stress and apologized. I believed him

441
00:18:26,040 --> 00:18:29,240
Speaker 4: as I said earlier, He's stupidly honest, but he didn't

442
00:18:29,320 --> 00:18:31,800
Speaker 4: change for the better. I think his behavior got worse.

443
00:18:32,320 --> 00:18:34,960
Speaker 4: He didn't show any signs of cheating. Although I'd seen

444
00:18:35,040 --> 00:18:37,320
Speaker 4: him more glued to his phone, he never really hid

445
00:18:37,359 --> 00:18:39,160
Speaker 4: it from me. I knew his pass code and had

446
00:18:39,160 --> 00:18:41,960
Speaker 4: my own fingerprint registered on his phone, and he never

447
00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:44,479
Speaker 4: changed it or removed it. He never came home at

448
00:18:44,560 --> 00:18:48,040
Speaker 4: unreasonable hours, no late night work or any work travel

449
00:18:48,080 --> 00:18:50,320
Speaker 4: at all. I had many sit downs with him, and

450
00:18:50,359 --> 00:18:53,639
Speaker 4: he always blames stress. Now it's already nearing the end

451
00:18:53,680 --> 00:18:56,840
Speaker 4: of April and no plans were created for our wedding.

452
00:18:57,040 --> 00:19:01,120
Speaker 1: What you're two months out of wedding. No, you got

453
00:19:01,160 --> 00:19:01,760
Speaker 1: to push it back.

454
00:19:01,880 --> 00:19:04,640
Speaker 4: You have to push it back or to do a secret.

455
00:19:04,800 --> 00:19:06,960
Speaker 4: Jake asked to talk and asked me to move the

456
00:19:06,960 --> 00:19:09,119
Speaker 4: wedding to September. He said he was still pretty much

457
00:19:09,200 --> 00:19:11,760
Speaker 4: occupied with work and didn't want to get on our

458
00:19:11,800 --> 00:19:15,280
Speaker 4: special day distracted instead of being happy. I understood this,

459
00:19:15,640 --> 00:19:18,000
Speaker 4: so we moved the wedding to September, but we had

460
00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:20,520
Speaker 4: the same talk during August and move the wedding to

461
00:19:20,680 --> 00:19:23,399
Speaker 4: November until we ultimately decided to get married in May

462
00:19:23,480 --> 00:19:25,600
Speaker 4: next year. He was very apologetic, and I told him

463
00:19:25,600 --> 00:19:28,679
Speaker 4: that I understood, but to please do something for himself

464
00:19:28,720 --> 00:19:31,080
Speaker 4: as I'm starting to get worried about him. I stopped

465
00:19:31,080 --> 00:19:33,600
Speaker 4: having these conversations with him, as I feel like it

466
00:19:33,640 --> 00:19:36,040
Speaker 4: only adds more pressure to him, which I didn't want.

467
00:19:36,200 --> 00:19:39,000
Speaker 4: One day in late January twenty twenty five, Jake had

468
00:19:39,040 --> 00:19:40,760
Speaker 4: a headache in the morning that he had to take

469
00:19:40,840 --> 00:19:42,840
Speaker 4: an ssel for the day. I made sure he had

470
00:19:42,840 --> 00:19:45,320
Speaker 4: everything he needed before leaving for work and planned to

471
00:19:45,400 --> 00:19:47,720
Speaker 4: check on him in the afternoon. Oh no, oh, no,

472
00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:48,520
Speaker 4: I see you.

473
00:19:48,800 --> 00:19:49,320
Speaker 1: I remember.

474
00:19:49,400 --> 00:19:52,040
Speaker 4: It was raining all day that day. I went back

475
00:19:52,080 --> 00:19:55,119
Speaker 4: to check on him during lunch, but was not prepared

476
00:19:55,320 --> 00:19:58,439
Speaker 4: for what I was about to witness. When I opened

477
00:19:58,480 --> 00:20:01,800
Speaker 4: the door, I saw him in Claire kissing in the

478
00:20:01,800 --> 00:20:04,840
Speaker 4: hallway to our bedroom. I froze and just stared back

479
00:20:04,880 --> 00:20:07,320
Speaker 4: at them until my vision started to get blurry. My

480
00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:10,760
Speaker 4: mind went everywhere, but I was snapped back to reality

481
00:20:10,800 --> 00:20:13,119
Speaker 4: when Jake called my name. He was about to approach me,

482
00:20:13,240 --> 00:20:15,719
Speaker 4: so I instinctively did a one to eighty and power

483
00:20:15,760 --> 00:20:17,720
Speaker 4: walked out of the apartment building. It felt like I

484
00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:20,520
Speaker 4: disconnected from my body and it went on autopilot.

485
00:20:20,600 --> 00:20:22,280
Speaker 1: That's called depersonalization.

486
00:20:22,440 --> 00:20:24,399
Speaker 4: I didn't know where to go, but the goal was

487
00:20:24,440 --> 00:20:27,040
Speaker 4: to get far away. I was swimming with thoughts and

488
00:20:27,119 --> 00:20:30,040
Speaker 4: lost my awareness. I was pulled back down to Earth

489
00:20:30,080 --> 00:20:32,320
Speaker 4: when I slipped and fell down the stairs outside our

490
00:20:32,359 --> 00:20:35,600
Speaker 4: apartment building. I slid down from the last four steps

491
00:20:35,600 --> 00:20:37,200
Speaker 4: and hit my head on the edge of the step.

492
00:20:37,280 --> 00:20:39,919
Speaker 4: I felt an intense pain immediately on my head and

493
00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:42,520
Speaker 4: tried rubbing the area, thinking it would lessen the pain,

494
00:20:42,640 --> 00:20:44,520
Speaker 4: but panic set in when I saw a blood on

495
00:20:44,560 --> 00:20:46,600
Speaker 4: my head. I was so stressed and overwhelmed that I

496
00:20:46,640 --> 00:20:49,159
Speaker 4: lost consciousness. Oh my God. Before I blacked out, I

497
00:20:49,200 --> 00:20:51,639
Speaker 4: heard Jake calling me, oh my God. I woke up

498
00:20:51,680 --> 00:20:54,240
Speaker 4: at a hospital a few hours later. The nurse said that

499
00:20:54,320 --> 00:20:56,800
Speaker 4: fortunately I didn't break any bones, but to expect some

500
00:20:56,840 --> 00:20:59,480
Speaker 4: pain in my lower body as I had huge bruises.

501
00:20:59,560 --> 00:21:02,119
Speaker 4: She said that they already scanned my head, as per

502
00:21:02,200 --> 00:21:05,800
Speaker 4: Jake's request, and didn't find anything else, but they had

503
00:21:05,840 --> 00:21:07,840
Speaker 4: to stitch my head wound. She said I'd be under

504
00:21:07,840 --> 00:21:10,840
Speaker 4: observation overnight and if nothing goes wrong, and then I'll

505
00:21:10,840 --> 00:21:12,960
Speaker 4: be able to be discharged the next day.

506
00:21:13,040 --> 00:21:15,240
Speaker 3: Well, hey, you know, say what you will about Jake,

507
00:21:15,320 --> 00:21:17,840
Speaker 3: but at least he did say in her head, Jack.

508
00:21:17,840 --> 00:21:21,080
Speaker 4: I'm wondering. I'm kind of wondering based off of what

509
00:21:21,240 --> 00:21:23,480
Speaker 4: me know from the beginning of the story if she

510
00:21:23,800 --> 00:21:27,159
Speaker 4: kissed him either way. No. She reminded me to please

511
00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:29,280
Speaker 4: inform them if I feel anything wrong so they can

512
00:21:29,359 --> 00:21:31,840
Speaker 4: check immediately. I thanked her and she left. As soon

513
00:21:31,880 --> 00:21:34,200
Speaker 4: as she left, Jake rushed to my side and held

514
00:21:34,200 --> 00:21:36,720
Speaker 4: my hand, which I pulled back. He asked me to

515
00:21:36,800 --> 00:21:40,240
Speaker 4: please let him explain, as what I'd seen was a misunderstanding.

516
00:21:40,400 --> 00:21:42,760
Speaker 4: I didn't talk nor look at him that time because

517
00:21:42,760 --> 00:21:44,840
Speaker 4: my heart would break, but I think he took my

518
00:21:44,920 --> 00:21:48,159
Speaker 4: silence as yes. He took a deep breath and started

519
00:21:48,200 --> 00:21:52,920
Speaker 4: explaining that during their company wide celebration around March, Oh,

520
00:21:53,040 --> 00:21:54,879
Speaker 4: he unexpectedly met Claire.

521
00:21:55,200 --> 00:21:55,360
Speaker 3: Uh.

522
00:21:55,480 --> 00:21:59,239
Speaker 4: Oh, oh, and he didn't tell you.

523
00:22:00,000 --> 00:22:01,680
Speaker 1: Oh, that's a lie, this deceit.

524
00:22:01,880 --> 00:22:04,159
Speaker 4: He swore he didn't know Claire was also working in

525
00:22:04,200 --> 00:22:06,359
Speaker 4: the same company. He said she was probably in a

526
00:22:06,359 --> 00:22:09,919
Speaker 4: different department, which means different location. At first, he wanted

527
00:22:09,960 --> 00:22:12,199
Speaker 4: to ignore her, but since they split up on a

528
00:22:12,240 --> 00:22:15,040
Speaker 4: good note, he hesitantly greeted her back, and then he

529
00:22:15,080 --> 00:22:17,639
Speaker 4: said they started talking again after that something and me

530
00:22:17,720 --> 00:22:19,840
Speaker 4: snapped when I heard that, because I knew he started

531
00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:23,160
Speaker 4: acting strange around that same time. I cut him off

532
00:22:23,320 --> 00:22:25,680
Speaker 4: and asked him if that's the reason why he started

533
00:22:25,680 --> 00:22:28,760
Speaker 4: getting distant. He was visibly shocked and was about to

534
00:22:28,800 --> 00:22:30,880
Speaker 4: defend himself, but I didn't let him. I told him

535
00:22:30,880 --> 00:22:33,639
Speaker 4: that it all made sense now. Why he changed all

536
00:22:33,640 --> 00:22:35,480
Speaker 4: of a sudden, why he had to move our wedding

537
00:22:35,520 --> 00:22:38,439
Speaker 4: three times, It's because he and Claire met again. I

538
00:22:38,520 --> 00:22:41,560
Speaker 4: started ugly crying and asked why he did this to me.

539
00:22:41,720 --> 00:22:43,879
Speaker 4: I was kind to him all throughout. Why would he

540
00:22:43,920 --> 00:22:46,360
Speaker 4: take me so I just to drop me back down.

541
00:22:46,440 --> 00:22:48,320
Speaker 4: He was trying to comfort me, but I didn't let him.

542
00:22:48,320 --> 00:22:50,320
Speaker 4: He then took another deep breath and told me that

543
00:22:50,359 --> 00:22:52,960
Speaker 4: we should just continue our conversation next time. When I

544
00:22:53,000 --> 00:22:55,679
Speaker 4: calmed down, he told me that I'm currently overwhelmed and

545
00:22:55,720 --> 00:22:58,520
Speaker 4: will not accept anything he says because my emotions will

546
00:22:58,520 --> 00:23:00,959
Speaker 4: control me. He said he'll give me and he went

547
00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:03,159
Speaker 4: to the bed opposite the room. I tried to compose

548
00:23:03,200 --> 00:23:05,679
Speaker 4: myself as the nurses checked on me every thirty minutes,

549
00:23:05,720 --> 00:23:09,240
Speaker 4: I think, but I couldn't. I myself silently crying. Fortunately

550
00:23:09,320 --> 00:23:11,600
Speaker 4: none of them pried and just advised me to take

551
00:23:11,640 --> 00:23:14,600
Speaker 4: some rest. I just kept crying, and around midnight, I

552
00:23:14,680 --> 00:23:17,719
Speaker 4: heard Jake leave the room leaving me alone with my thoughts.

553
00:23:18,119 --> 00:23:19,240
Speaker 4: What else could it be?

554
00:23:19,320 --> 00:23:19,480
Speaker 2: Then?

555
00:23:19,600 --> 00:23:21,960
Speaker 4: Why would he be kissing his ex in our apartment

556
00:23:22,040 --> 00:23:24,680
Speaker 4: in the hallway to our bedroom. Why didn't he tell

557
00:23:24,680 --> 00:23:27,000
Speaker 4: me they met again for a whole year? Then? Was

558
00:23:27,040 --> 00:23:29,439
Speaker 4: he just blaming everything on stress to cover up. I

559
00:23:29,440 --> 00:23:32,040
Speaker 4: didn't see any signs of him cheating. Is he testing

560
00:23:32,040 --> 00:23:34,080
Speaker 4: the waters? Is he checking if the two of them

561
00:23:34,119 --> 00:23:36,280
Speaker 4: could work things out? And if not, I'll just marry

562
00:23:36,280 --> 00:23:39,760
Speaker 4: me instead. I felt like my whole world just crumbled down.

563
00:23:40,080 --> 00:23:43,919
Speaker 4: I guessed everything was indeed just a fantasy. After getting discharged,

564
00:23:43,920 --> 00:23:46,320
Speaker 4: I knew he was trying to bring up the conversation again,

565
00:23:46,480 --> 00:23:49,360
Speaker 4: but he couldn't. We were not talking ever since it happened.

566
00:23:49,480 --> 00:23:52,240
Speaker 4: My performance at work dropped, which led my manager to

567
00:23:52,280 --> 00:23:54,320
Speaker 4: ask me if there was any problem. I was close

568
00:23:54,359 --> 00:23:56,360
Speaker 4: to her as we worked together for so many years now,

569
00:23:56,400 --> 00:23:58,720
Speaker 4: so I was comfortable spilling everything out to her. He

570
00:23:58,800 --> 00:24:01,600
Speaker 4: told me maybe I should take a leave of absence

571
00:24:01,800 --> 00:24:04,439
Speaker 4: and get into therapy, but since we are only allowed

572
00:24:04,480 --> 00:24:06,679
Speaker 4: to take up two months of leave of absence, I

573
00:24:06,680 --> 00:24:08,680
Speaker 4: don't think it'll be enough for me. I also didn't

574
00:24:08,680 --> 00:24:10,520
Speaker 4: want to be a burden to my teammates. So I

575
00:24:10,560 --> 00:24:13,080
Speaker 4: decided to resign and let her know. She told me

576
00:24:13,119 --> 00:24:15,000
Speaker 4: to contact her if I wanted to come back, which

577
00:24:15,040 --> 00:24:18,440
Speaker 4: I appreciated. I rendered my last month through February and March,

578
00:24:18,520 --> 00:24:21,199
Speaker 4: and Jake didn't know anything about this. I felt so

579
00:24:21,720 --> 00:24:25,840
Speaker 4: suffocated and really wanted out. I felt like passing away

580
00:24:25,960 --> 00:24:28,560
Speaker 4: every day, and it's like the pain gets more intense

581
00:24:28,640 --> 00:24:30,640
Speaker 4: the longer I stay with him. I plan to also

582
00:24:30,760 --> 00:24:32,760
Speaker 4: just leave him and go back to town, which I

583
00:24:32,760 --> 00:24:35,439
Speaker 4: already let my aunt know. She's currently the caretaker of

584
00:24:35,480 --> 00:24:37,679
Speaker 4: our family. Last week, when Jake left for work, I

585
00:24:37,760 --> 00:24:40,200
Speaker 4: packed my bags and left. I left a note for

586
00:24:40,320 --> 00:24:42,600
Speaker 4: him with the engagement ring and told them all the

587
00:24:42,600 --> 00:24:45,159
Speaker 4: things I can't say personally as I'm too hurt to

588
00:24:45,200 --> 00:24:47,840
Speaker 4: face him. I arrived at my family home around dusk.

589
00:24:47,960 --> 00:24:50,680
Speaker 4: He tried calling and texting me, but I ignored him all

590
00:24:50,720 --> 00:24:52,639
Speaker 4: of it. I just sent him a text that I

591
00:24:52,720 --> 00:24:55,240
Speaker 4: safely arrived and to please give me some space. He

592
00:24:55,320 --> 00:24:57,119
Speaker 4: replied that he would still be waiting for me to

593
00:24:57,119 --> 00:24:59,240
Speaker 4: give him another chance to talk and will not bother

594
00:24:59,320 --> 00:25:01,919
Speaker 4: me anymore. Pushed me to post. This is because his

595
00:25:02,040 --> 00:25:05,760
Speaker 4: parents visited me earlier today. His mom fifty seven female

596
00:25:05,840 --> 00:25:08,200
Speaker 4: let's call her Anna inform me that Jake also went

597
00:25:08,280 --> 00:25:11,600
Speaker 4: home two days after I left. She said he was wrecked.

598
00:25:11,720 --> 00:25:14,440
Speaker 4: She asked what happened, and he only informed them about

599
00:25:14,440 --> 00:25:17,040
Speaker 4: what I saw. His parents were obviously shocked, but he

600
00:25:17,080 --> 00:25:19,560
Speaker 4: said it was not the full story. When asked, he

601
00:25:19,600 --> 00:25:21,679
Speaker 4: didn't want to tell them because he was suspecting that

602
00:25:21,680 --> 00:25:24,080
Speaker 4: they would visit me and tell me what he told them,

603
00:25:24,160 --> 00:25:26,040
Speaker 4: and he didn't like that. He said he wanted to

604
00:25:26,040 --> 00:25:28,679
Speaker 4: tell everything to me by himself and wanted everything to

605
00:25:28,720 --> 00:25:31,040
Speaker 4: come from him. Even when they promised they wouldn't tell me,

606
00:25:31,160 --> 00:25:32,040
Speaker 4: he wouldn't budge.

607
00:25:32,200 --> 00:25:34,439
Speaker 3: It's like he's like, I ain't look, I have to

608
00:25:34,560 --> 00:25:36,359
Speaker 3: master manipulate the situation.

609
00:25:36,520 --> 00:25:38,280
Speaker 1: You guys don't have to tell it.

610
00:25:38,440 --> 00:25:40,760
Speaker 4: She's just gonna be like, oh, I never want to get.

611
00:25:40,560 --> 00:25:42,479
Speaker 1: Back with him if she hears it to me.

612
00:25:42,720 --> 00:25:44,640
Speaker 3: Once I figure out how to lay it down, she's

613
00:25:44,680 --> 00:25:47,439
Speaker 3: gonna be in love with me the rest of eternity. Now.

614
00:25:47,560 --> 00:25:50,520
Speaker 4: His father, fifty eight male, let's call him John, told

615
00:25:50,600 --> 00:25:52,840
Speaker 4: me that they're not here to beg for me to

616
00:25:52,880 --> 00:25:55,160
Speaker 4: give Jake a chance to explain. He said they also

617
00:25:55,200 --> 00:25:57,919
Speaker 4: wanted to know my side. I told them everything that

618
00:25:58,000 --> 00:26:00,359
Speaker 4: happened since March last year. They were silent for a

619
00:26:00,359 --> 00:26:02,560
Speaker 4: while that Anna told me that no matter what my

620
00:26:02,640 --> 00:26:04,840
Speaker 4: decision will be, they will support me. But they're also

621
00:26:04,880 --> 00:26:06,560
Speaker 4: hoping that I find it in my heart to give

622
00:26:06,640 --> 00:26:09,320
Speaker 4: Jake a chance, because while it might look suspicious, they

623
00:26:09,359 --> 00:26:11,560
Speaker 4: believe that Jake would not hurt. She said that they

624
00:26:11,560 --> 00:26:13,720
Speaker 4: will still always be there for me if I ever

625
00:26:13,800 --> 00:26:16,560
Speaker 4: needed help, even if I decide to break up with Jake,

626
00:26:16,640 --> 00:26:19,280
Speaker 4: that they'll understand. I cried, as they were actually very

627
00:26:19,359 --> 00:26:21,840
Speaker 4: kind people and I'm actually sad that this happened to us.

628
00:26:22,000 --> 00:26:24,440
Speaker 4: I started to doubt my decisions, that maybe I should

629
00:26:24,480 --> 00:26:26,600
Speaker 4: have let him say his peace. I also asked my

630
00:26:26,680 --> 00:26:29,479
Speaker 4: aunt for advice, but even she was also torn, as

631
00:26:29,520 --> 00:26:31,800
Speaker 4: she believes Jake wouldn't do such a thing, that maybe

632
00:26:31,800 --> 00:26:34,560
Speaker 4: there's an explanation. She told me to first let every

633
00:26:34,600 --> 00:26:37,199
Speaker 4: negative emotion flow out of me. Then once I have

634
00:26:37,240 --> 00:26:39,600
Speaker 4: a clear head, that's when I should make a decision.

635
00:26:39,640 --> 00:26:41,560
Speaker 4: I'm so sorry if this got too long, but I

636
00:26:41,600 --> 00:26:43,960
Speaker 4: hope I gave the details you guys needed. Am I

637
00:26:44,040 --> 00:26:46,480
Speaker 4: the ale for leaving him without giving him a chance

638
00:26:46,520 --> 00:26:49,760
Speaker 4: to explain his side. Two days after I posted, I

639
00:26:49,840 --> 00:26:52,720
Speaker 4: was invited by my closest cousin, my aunt's eldest twenty

640
00:26:52,760 --> 00:26:55,480
Speaker 4: six female call her Gene, to work part time again

641
00:26:55,520 --> 00:26:57,879
Speaker 4: in their bakery. She said, my aunt knows I'm not

642
00:26:57,920 --> 00:27:01,280
Speaker 4: struggling financially, but maybe it'll help me put my mind

643
00:27:01,320 --> 00:27:03,400
Speaker 4: off things. I've been working there for two days now.

644
00:27:03,440 --> 00:27:05,280
Speaker 4: I always leave my phone whenever I go to work

645
00:27:05,320 --> 00:27:08,040
Speaker 4: so I won't get distracted or be reminded of anything.

646
00:27:08,200 --> 00:27:11,679
Speaker 4: But today something caught my eye when I checked for notifications.

647
00:27:11,680 --> 00:27:14,080
Speaker 4: When I got home, I saw Claire chatted with OHP,

648
00:27:14,280 --> 00:27:16,840
Speaker 4: please read first, don't block me yet all the preview.

649
00:27:16,920 --> 00:27:19,560
Speaker 4: I opened it out of curiosity and wondered why it's

650
00:27:19,600 --> 00:27:22,720
Speaker 4: in all caps. I decided to just summarize message because

651
00:27:22,760 --> 00:27:24,440
Speaker 4: it was a bit long, but for those of who

652
00:27:24,600 --> 00:27:28,359
Speaker 4: are interested, I will post her whole message trigger warning essay. Sorry,

653
00:27:28,400 --> 00:27:30,479
Speaker 4: I don't know how to add another flare or the summary.

654
00:27:30,640 --> 00:27:34,040
Speaker 4: Laire apologized and said it was all her fault. She

655
00:27:34,119 --> 00:27:37,399
Speaker 4: realized Jake's importance months after the breakup and tried finding

656
00:27:37,440 --> 00:27:39,640
Speaker 4: him again. Applied to the same company to meet him,

657
00:27:39,680 --> 00:27:42,040
Speaker 4: but was in a different department, so she wasn't able

658
00:27:42,040 --> 00:27:43,760
Speaker 4: to meet him. Yet met him for the first time

659
00:27:43,880 --> 00:27:46,720
Speaker 4: during their company's party and started messaging in through teams,

660
00:27:46,800 --> 00:27:49,480
Speaker 4: work and messenger. She got more desperate when she found

661
00:27:49,480 --> 00:27:51,760
Speaker 4: out he was already engaged with me. She tried using

662
00:27:51,760 --> 00:27:54,600
Speaker 4: his weakness against him. Jake doesn't like being talked about

663
00:27:54,680 --> 00:27:57,000
Speaker 4: or getting involved in any public scenes for him to

664
00:27:57,040 --> 00:27:59,479
Speaker 4: engage with her because he started avoiding her. Jake had

665
00:27:59,560 --> 00:28:02,159
Speaker 4: enough and she reported her to HR. Last January, she

666
00:28:02,200 --> 00:28:04,840
Speaker 4: went to our apartment, confirming that she indeed knew where

667
00:28:04,840 --> 00:28:06,960
Speaker 4: we were staying. When Jake didn't come to the office

668
00:28:07,040 --> 00:28:09,720
Speaker 4: during D Day. As a last resort, she tried forcing

669
00:28:09,760 --> 00:28:11,639
Speaker 4: him to let her in by crying and getting other

670
00:28:11,680 --> 00:28:14,879
Speaker 4: people's attention. To pressure Jake, she begged for him to

671
00:28:14,920 --> 00:28:18,440
Speaker 4: love her again, which Jake declined, explaining we're already engaged

672
00:28:18,480 --> 00:28:21,040
Speaker 4: and happy. She got mad when Jake refused her hug

673
00:28:21,080 --> 00:28:24,399
Speaker 4: and threatened to accuse him of abuse, and Jake begged

674
00:28:24,440 --> 00:28:26,840
Speaker 4: her to just leave and that he was done with her.

675
00:28:26,960 --> 00:28:29,080
Speaker 4: She tried to get closer, but Jake backed up, but

676
00:28:29,160 --> 00:28:31,520
Speaker 4: he tripped on something and she took the opportunity that

677
00:28:31,600 --> 00:28:34,280
Speaker 4: he was distracted and hugged him tight and kissed him.

678
00:28:34,400 --> 00:28:36,679
Speaker 4: Then she was shocked when she saw me on the doorway.

679
00:28:36,760 --> 00:28:38,960
Speaker 4: Jake yelled at her after I left, which is something

680
00:28:39,000 --> 00:28:40,800
Speaker 4: he never did to her before, and said that he

681
00:28:40,880 --> 00:28:44,000
Speaker 4: hated her from the bottom of his heart. She finally

682
00:28:44,000 --> 00:28:46,800
Speaker 4: had some clarity and realized what she did. She then

683
00:28:46,800 --> 00:28:50,400
Speaker 4: apologized again, saying both Jake and I didn't deserve what happened.

684
00:28:50,440 --> 00:28:52,760
Speaker 4: She said she can't get over the guilt. She tried

685
00:28:52,800 --> 00:28:55,240
Speaker 4: reaching out to Jake, but he already blocked her everywhere.

686
00:28:55,280 --> 00:28:58,520
Speaker 4: I'm actually terrified after reading this. I was trembling when

687
00:28:58,560 --> 00:29:01,960
Speaker 4: I finished. I was so mad and disgusted and afraid

688
00:29:02,000 --> 00:29:04,520
Speaker 4: at the same time. So she's been pestering Jake for

689
00:29:04,520 --> 00:29:07,760
Speaker 4: a whole year and even hissed him unconsensually. I feel

690
00:29:07,800 --> 00:29:09,840
Speaker 4: worse now that I didn't let him explain. But I'm

691
00:29:09,840 --> 00:29:12,160
Speaker 4: also thinking maybe he asked Claire to take the fall,

692
00:29:12,280 --> 00:29:14,040
Speaker 4: or maybe this is just what I think to comfort

693
00:29:14,040 --> 00:29:16,720
Speaker 4: myself to think she was lying that those things didn't

694
00:29:16,760 --> 00:29:18,920
Speaker 4: happen to Jake. I don't know. I'm so confused, but

695
00:29:19,040 --> 00:29:22,800
Speaker 4: you know, it's never confusing listening to full episodes and

696
00:29:22,880 --> 00:29:25,760
Speaker 4: stories just like this. Just go to Spotify, Apple Podcast,

697
00:29:25,880 --> 00:29:28,160
Speaker 4: or your favorite podcast app and search a bogus story time.

698
00:29:28,280 --> 00:29:30,360
Speaker 4: I was thinking of sending this to his parents, but

699
00:29:30,440 --> 00:29:32,200
Speaker 4: I feel like this was also the reason why he

700
00:29:32,240 --> 00:29:35,360
Speaker 4: wouldn't tell them anything in the first place. And really, sorry, guys,

701
00:29:35,440 --> 00:29:37,360
Speaker 4: I feel like a coward right now. By the way,

702
00:29:37,400 --> 00:29:39,160
Speaker 4: I just wanted to thank you guys for sharing your

703
00:29:39,160 --> 00:29:40,880
Speaker 4: thoughts on the first post. It helped me set my

704
00:29:40,920 --> 00:29:43,200
Speaker 4: mind that maybe I don't really need to hear Jake's side,

705
00:29:43,280 --> 00:29:45,560
Speaker 4: But after Claire's message, it kind of threw me back

706
00:29:45,600 --> 00:29:47,800
Speaker 4: to the same hole I was in last week. No,

707
00:29:48,360 --> 00:29:52,520
Speaker 4: that's it. Yikes, there again. I don't want to like say,

708
00:29:52,600 --> 00:29:55,360
Speaker 4: you know that there is no possibility that Jake was

709
00:29:55,400 --> 00:29:58,760
Speaker 4: not assaulted incredibly slim. I don't want to say that

710
00:29:58,840 --> 00:30:01,800
Speaker 4: because maybe there is a chance and that's totally not okay,

711
00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:05,240
Speaker 4: and Claire, you know, that's awful, awful, awful should not

712
00:30:05,280 --> 00:30:07,320
Speaker 4: have happened to him. However, there's also a chance that

713
00:30:07,920 --> 00:30:10,080
Speaker 4: he's lying to you and he's involving Claire in this.

714
00:30:10,200 --> 00:30:13,080
Speaker 3: Now, where's if Claire's so obsessed in wanting this guy back,

715
00:30:13,080 --> 00:30:13,880
Speaker 3: where's Claire?

716
00:30:13,960 --> 00:30:15,600
Speaker 1: Like, I don't know? At dinner time?

717
00:30:15,760 --> 00:30:18,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, Like so Claire, Clare just happens to show up

718
00:30:18,880 --> 00:30:21,560
Speaker 3: to the house the one day where your husband was like,

719
00:30:21,760 --> 00:30:24,080
Speaker 3: oh or night, Well your fiance is like, I've got

720
00:30:24,120 --> 00:30:26,160
Speaker 3: a headache, I got to stay home, and now she's there,

721
00:30:26,240 --> 00:30:26,840
Speaker 3: and it's like it.

722
00:30:26,840 --> 00:30:28,480
Speaker 4: Does well, you're supposed to be out for a while.

723
00:30:28,560 --> 00:30:32,960
Speaker 1: It doesn't make any sense. It's convenient. It's it's really

724
00:30:33,080 --> 00:30:34,120
Speaker 1: way too convenient.

725
00:30:34,240 --> 00:30:36,440
Speaker 3: I saw a comment that said something along the lines

726
00:30:36,440 --> 00:30:38,680
Speaker 3: of like, I don't tell my so everything, which is fair.

727
00:30:38,720 --> 00:30:41,800
Speaker 3: It's like you don't need to tell your significant other everything,

728
00:30:41,920 --> 00:30:45,280
Speaker 3: but like, yeah, if you run into the ex girlfriend

729
00:30:45,360 --> 00:30:48,040
Speaker 3: that you guys both have history with, that is very

730
00:30:48,160 --> 00:30:50,600
Speaker 3: much like I don't know if cornerstone is the right word,

731
00:30:50,640 --> 00:30:53,720
Speaker 3: but it's like she was heavily involved in y'all's story

732
00:30:53,920 --> 00:30:56,200
Speaker 3: how y'all got together. Yeah, I think it'd be pretty

733
00:30:56,200 --> 00:30:58,560
Speaker 3: freaking relevant to be like, hey, well you won't believe

734
00:30:58,560 --> 00:31:01,280
Speaker 3: who works for my company. Yeah, if it was my partner,

735
00:31:01,320 --> 00:31:04,160
Speaker 3: she'd find out day one exactly, unless I was hiding

736
00:31:04,160 --> 00:31:05,480
Speaker 3: it from her because I'm like.

737
00:31:05,520 --> 00:31:08,000
Speaker 4: And also, he submitted an HR report and never told you.

738
00:31:08,040 --> 00:31:09,240
Speaker 4: But that's the end of that story.

739
00:31:10,320 --> 00:31:12,240
Speaker 1: Hey, it's Sam, your og host. Here. We're gonna get

740
00:31:12,240 --> 00:31:13,920
Speaker 1: back to the stories. But here's three minutes of ads

741
00:31:13,920 --> 00:31:19,720
Speaker 1: from our sponsors. My family made my postpartum unbearable. It

742
00:31:19,800 --> 00:31:23,400
Speaker 1: ruined our relationship. Dump them A little backstory for perspective.

743
00:31:23,760 --> 00:31:27,120
Speaker 1: I'm the oldest of three sisters, me thirty two female

744
00:31:27,120 --> 00:31:30,720
Speaker 1: and sisters twenty seven female and twenty female, and grew

745
00:31:30,840 --> 00:31:34,200
Speaker 1: up with strict parents. My mother ruled the house both

746
00:31:34,240 --> 00:31:37,000
Speaker 1: by rules and emotions. If she was mad or upset,

747
00:31:37,160 --> 00:31:40,240
Speaker 1: everyone felt it. But if I was sad or upset,

748
00:31:40,360 --> 00:31:43,640
Speaker 1: the response from my mother was always, that's why you're sad.

749
00:31:43,920 --> 00:31:47,400
Speaker 1: Don't be dumb slash stupid. Nothing to be sad and

750
00:31:47,480 --> 00:31:50,520
Speaker 1: upset about. So, as you can imagine, my default had

751
00:31:50,560 --> 00:31:53,280
Speaker 1: to be happy, and I worked to hide any negative

752
00:31:53,280 --> 00:31:56,680
Speaker 1: slash non happy feelings away. I didn't realize I did

753
00:31:56,680 --> 00:31:59,040
Speaker 1: this until I left home and had the space to

754
00:31:59,160 --> 00:32:01,640
Speaker 1: just feel my feelings. By the way, this comes from

755
00:32:01,680 --> 00:32:04,120
Speaker 1: Independent Low seventy eight forty one and if you want

756
00:32:04,120 --> 00:32:06,880
Speaker 1: to submit your own stories, go to our slash Okay

757
00:32:06,880 --> 00:32:09,640
Speaker 1: storytime star predits. So I got married to my husband

758
00:32:09,720 --> 00:32:12,080
Speaker 1: thirty six mail five years ago, and to be honest,

759
00:32:12,200 --> 00:32:15,160
Speaker 1: I'm not sure my family has ever really accepted or

760
00:32:15,360 --> 00:32:18,920
Speaker 1: liked my husband. Maybe because of language barrier, or maybe

761
00:32:19,360 --> 00:32:21,880
Speaker 1: because we didn't just do everything with my family and

762
00:32:21,920 --> 00:32:26,120
Speaker 1: how my family wanted, or maybe because it meant I

763
00:32:26,200 --> 00:32:28,760
Speaker 1: was going to create roots one and a half hours

764
00:32:28,800 --> 00:32:31,680
Speaker 1: away and not move back to where they live. Not sure,

765
00:32:31,720 --> 00:32:33,800
Speaker 1: but I've always had the sense, and I've never really

766
00:32:33,800 --> 00:32:36,520
Speaker 1: said anything, but I know he has never really felt

767
00:32:36,560 --> 00:32:40,840
Speaker 1: truly welcome into our family by either my parents or sisters.

768
00:32:40,880 --> 00:32:43,160
Speaker 1: My husband and I had a long fertility journey. After

769
00:32:43,160 --> 00:32:46,440
Speaker 1: going through multiple rounds of IVF, a little miracle embryo

770
00:32:46,680 --> 00:32:51,080
Speaker 1: stuck around and I was pregnant. My husband was and

771
00:32:51,360 --> 00:32:54,800
Speaker 1: is my person, and he knew how broken I was

772
00:32:54,880 --> 00:32:57,680
Speaker 1: after every negative test and bad news we received during

773
00:32:57,720 --> 00:33:00,280
Speaker 1: the journey. My family wasn't the most comforting, so I

774
00:33:00,360 --> 00:33:03,800
Speaker 1: typically wouldn't tell them about a procedure or failed try

775
00:33:04,120 --> 00:33:06,720
Speaker 1: until after I had time to process, which makes sense

776
00:33:06,800 --> 00:33:09,040
Speaker 1: totally quick side note. During my journey, my mom made

777
00:33:09,080 --> 00:33:12,080
Speaker 1: me feel like I was not trying hard enough or

778
00:33:12,120 --> 00:33:14,480
Speaker 1: doing the right things, and at one point told me,

779
00:33:14,760 --> 00:33:17,960
Speaker 1: you don't understand what you are going through hurts me

780
00:33:18,440 --> 00:33:19,440
Speaker 1: more than it hurts you.

781
00:33:19,680 --> 00:33:21,960
Speaker 2: I never understand the moms who don't get it, because

782
00:33:21,960 --> 00:33:22,760
Speaker 2: it's like you.

783
00:33:22,760 --> 00:33:25,320
Speaker 1: You went through this, You're a woman, you birth a

784
00:33:25,440 --> 00:33:28,480
Speaker 1: baby into this world. How do you not realize how

785
00:33:28,480 --> 00:33:31,440
Speaker 1: traumatic it can be to like lose a potential kid.

786
00:33:31,760 --> 00:33:34,440
Speaker 1: I don't get it. Yeah, a little rough, a little rough,

787
00:33:34,440 --> 00:33:36,640
Speaker 1: a little rough for wear. But nonetheless, everyone was so

788
00:33:36,680 --> 00:33:39,160
Speaker 1: excited about our little miracle baby when we announce our pregnancy.

789
00:33:39,240 --> 00:33:42,520
Speaker 1: My pregnancy was pretty easily, thankfully, in thirty five weeks,

790
00:33:42,520 --> 00:33:44,120
Speaker 1: I was not feeling well and noticed the baby was

791
00:33:44,160 --> 00:33:46,600
Speaker 1: not moving as much, and at one point I hadn't

792
00:33:46,600 --> 00:33:49,160
Speaker 1: felt him move for twelve hours. Oh. I decided I

793
00:33:49,200 --> 00:33:51,280
Speaker 1: wanted to make sure he was okay, and my husband

794
00:33:51,280 --> 00:33:54,160
Speaker 1: took me to the hospital. Unfortunately, things weren't looking good.

795
00:33:54,240 --> 00:33:57,600
Speaker 1: The baby had a heartbeat, but wasn't reacting or moving.

796
00:33:57,920 --> 00:33:59,560
Speaker 1: It was decided that the best course of action was

797
00:33:59,600 --> 00:34:02,040
Speaker 1: to happen emergency sea section that day. I let my

798
00:34:02,040 --> 00:34:03,880
Speaker 1: family know what was going on, and they decided they

799
00:34:03,880 --> 00:34:05,520
Speaker 1: were going to drive over. I left one and a

800
00:34:05,560 --> 00:34:08,120
Speaker 1: half hours away from them. I go into surgery and

801
00:34:08,200 --> 00:34:10,720
Speaker 1: I feel them take my baby out, but no cries,

802
00:34:10,960 --> 00:34:13,240
Speaker 1: and it's just a rush of doctors asking my husband

803
00:34:13,280 --> 00:34:15,279
Speaker 1: for babies alive, and he didn't know none of the

804
00:34:15,320 --> 00:34:18,400
Speaker 1: doctors answered, I was a mess, open delivery table, not

805
00:34:18,520 --> 00:34:20,560
Speaker 1: knowing if my baby was breathing or alive. After what

806
00:34:20,680 --> 00:34:24,240
Speaker 1: felt like an eternity, we heard a cry, Oh my god,

807
00:34:24,920 --> 00:34:27,520
Speaker 1: oh man, oh man, that was what your heart. My

808
00:34:27,600 --> 00:34:29,960
Speaker 1: heart would beat there, yeah, oh, and they were rushing

809
00:34:30,000 --> 00:34:31,800
Speaker 1: him out. I didn't get to see my baby until

810
00:34:31,880 --> 00:34:34,360
Speaker 1: hours later in the nicee you while I was on

811
00:34:34,400 --> 00:34:36,800
Speaker 1: the gurney for maybe five minutes. All this to say,

812
00:34:37,040 --> 00:34:40,680
Speaker 1: I had a very traumatic birth experience. My baby had

813
00:34:40,719 --> 00:34:43,840
Speaker 1: to be literally resurrected, and we weren't sure if he

814
00:34:43,960 --> 00:34:45,799
Speaker 1: was going to make it for a few days. I

815
00:34:45,800 --> 00:34:49,560
Speaker 1: didn't get to hold him until four days later.

816
00:34:49,760 --> 00:34:50,080
Speaker 4: Wow.

817
00:34:50,200 --> 00:34:52,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, like, the baby's in the and I

818
00:34:52,480 --> 00:34:56,400
Speaker 2: see you, and it's like just an unimaginable scenario, unimaginable

819
00:34:56,440 --> 00:34:57,680
Speaker 2: scenario to be in his parent Yeah.

820
00:34:57,760 --> 00:34:59,719
Speaker 1: My family showed up the following morning to say hi.

821
00:34:59,760 --> 00:35:02,040
Speaker 1: But I'll honestly, I don't remember it much. It was

822
00:35:02,080 --> 00:35:03,560
Speaker 1: a blur and I wasn't strong enough to get up

823
00:35:03,640 --> 00:35:05,320
Speaker 1: yet to make my way to see my baby and

824
00:35:05,440 --> 00:35:07,040
Speaker 1: I see you. I delivered in the middle of the

825
00:35:07,040 --> 00:35:09,400
Speaker 1: week and it was supposed to be discharged on Saturday. My

826
00:35:09,400 --> 00:35:11,839
Speaker 1: family decided they would come back on Saturday and stay

827
00:35:11,880 --> 00:35:13,759
Speaker 1: the weekend at our home. During the rest of my

828
00:35:13,800 --> 00:35:16,160
Speaker 1: stay at the hospital, I was just focused on being

829
00:35:16,200 --> 00:35:18,439
Speaker 1: able to walk to the Nickeuu so I could sit

830
00:35:18,640 --> 00:35:21,400
Speaker 1: next to my son. We went through a rollercoaster of

831
00:35:21,440 --> 00:35:25,200
Speaker 1: emotions and news him starting on seapoth to have him

832
00:35:25,200 --> 00:35:30,720
Speaker 1: to be intubated, white blood cell transfusions, MRIs EKGs, ultrasounds.

833
00:35:30,760 --> 00:35:32,799
Speaker 1: I was in pieces, trying to focus on our son,

834
00:35:33,040 --> 00:35:35,800
Speaker 1: hoping he would make it out. Finally, Saturday came around

835
00:35:35,920 --> 00:35:38,200
Speaker 1: when I had to be discharged and we knew my

836
00:35:38,320 --> 00:35:40,160
Speaker 1: son would have to stay behind in the nick You.

837
00:35:40,280 --> 00:35:42,160
Speaker 1: My family showed up and through the NICKU. I was

838
00:35:42,200 --> 00:35:44,040
Speaker 1: able to take my parents, one at his time, tb

839
00:35:44,200 --> 00:35:46,200
Speaker 1: A Max, by the bedside of the Nicku babies to

840
00:35:46,239 --> 00:35:48,759
Speaker 1: meet their first grandchild. I decided my sisters could wait

841
00:35:48,800 --> 00:35:51,600
Speaker 1: until Sunday was not overwhelm him or me. My family

842
00:35:51,640 --> 00:35:54,320
Speaker 1: went to our house while my husband and I stayed

843
00:35:54,320 --> 00:35:56,520
Speaker 1: behind to be with him until late that evening. Now

844
00:35:56,560 --> 00:36:00,560
Speaker 1: Here is where the drama starts. Oh no again, this

845
00:36:00,600 --> 00:36:03,480
Speaker 1: is where the drama starts. John, Dude, We've had all

846
00:36:03,560 --> 00:36:05,880
Speaker 1: this stuff. What seems like a drama before me. No,

847
00:36:05,960 --> 00:36:07,560
Speaker 1: but this is where the drama starts.

848
00:36:08,760 --> 00:36:10,560
Speaker 2: I do not want to hear about this mother in

849
00:36:10,680 --> 00:36:14,320
Speaker 2: law whoever is ops piece right now, because that is

850
00:36:14,360 --> 00:36:15,799
Speaker 2: an insane thing to do with this time.

851
00:36:16,040 --> 00:36:18,719
Speaker 1: Yeah, mind you, I delivered our miracle baby and we

852
00:36:18,760 --> 00:36:21,160
Speaker 1: are leaving the hospital without him. He's staying behind in

853
00:36:21,200 --> 00:36:24,520
Speaker 1: the hospital with oxygen covered in wires and tubes. We

854
00:36:24,560 --> 00:36:28,200
Speaker 1: are devastated. I was broken, my heart ached. We arrive

855
00:36:28,280 --> 00:36:30,040
Speaker 1: home and opened the garage to walk in to find

856
00:36:30,080 --> 00:36:34,560
Speaker 1: the garage was completely reorganized. My family decided that me saying,

857
00:36:34,760 --> 00:36:37,080
Speaker 1: just push things to the side, give me a small

858
00:36:37,120 --> 00:36:39,680
Speaker 1: walkway the driveway to the door into our family room.

859
00:36:39,760 --> 00:36:42,600
Speaker 1: That's after saying no, don't move anything multiple times, my

860
00:36:42,640 --> 00:36:45,279
Speaker 1: mom pressing me, come on, let me move things, and

861
00:36:45,320 --> 00:36:47,160
Speaker 1: I just gave in after a bit because I didn't

862
00:36:47,160 --> 00:36:49,279
Speaker 1: want to argue as she basically the mom took that

863
00:36:49,280 --> 00:36:52,400
Speaker 1: to me, and let's reorganize and play tetris with everything

864
00:36:52,440 --> 00:36:56,600
Speaker 1: here so they could fit in a car. Oh, oh

865
00:36:56,600 --> 00:36:59,279
Speaker 1: my god. It wasn't even about her, dude. Side note,

866
00:36:59,320 --> 00:37:01,600
Speaker 1: we had moved in less than two months prior and

867
00:37:01,600 --> 00:37:03,560
Speaker 1: we were still organizing, so what they saw as a

868
00:37:03,560 --> 00:37:06,719
Speaker 1: mess was a disorganized chaos where we still knew where

869
00:37:06,760 --> 00:37:09,080
Speaker 1: things were and had a method to the madness. As

870
00:37:09,120 --> 00:37:11,560
Speaker 1: we opened the garage, my husband is clearly upset. I

871
00:37:11,560 --> 00:37:13,920
Speaker 1: don't blame him, but just tell him to please keep

872
00:37:13,960 --> 00:37:15,719
Speaker 1: the peace to his home too. And it's thought the

873
00:37:15,760 --> 00:37:18,439
Speaker 1: first time they've done things that they think should be done.

874
00:37:18,520 --> 00:37:20,760
Speaker 1: We opened the door and what do I first see

875
00:37:20,800 --> 00:37:23,520
Speaker 1: a large sign with balloons saying congratulation. I really don't

876
00:37:23,600 --> 00:37:27,680
Speaker 1: understand why I'm not celebrating. I'm broken. I'm coming home

877
00:37:27,719 --> 00:37:30,080
Speaker 1: without my baby, a baby that had gone through so

878
00:37:30,200 --> 00:37:32,360
Speaker 1: much in as short life. I hated that sign, but

879
00:37:32,440 --> 00:37:34,600
Speaker 1: knowing my family, I knew I couldn't say anything because

880
00:37:34,640 --> 00:37:37,000
Speaker 1: someone was going to get but hurt. I sat in

881
00:37:37,040 --> 00:37:39,279
Speaker 1: the family room to be nice, and my husband went

882
00:37:39,360 --> 00:37:41,839
Speaker 1: upstairs to our room. Now, don't get me wrong, I

883
00:37:41,920 --> 00:37:43,759
Speaker 1: was grateful they took the time to come out and

884
00:37:43,800 --> 00:37:46,600
Speaker 1: be there, but why didn't someone think about the situation

885
00:37:46,680 --> 00:37:48,960
Speaker 1: we were in. After maybe about half an hour, I

886
00:37:49,000 --> 00:37:51,319
Speaker 1: went upstairs to rest just to avoid seeing the sign.

887
00:37:51,360 --> 00:37:53,400
Speaker 1: When I got to our bedroom, my husband asked if

888
00:37:53,440 --> 00:37:55,279
Speaker 1: I was okay with the sign. I said no, but

889
00:37:55,320 --> 00:37:57,640
Speaker 1: I couldn't bring up the courage to tell them the

890
00:37:57,719 --> 00:38:01,640
Speaker 1: sign also hurt him. We weren't so yeah, I mean, like,

891
00:38:01,800 --> 00:38:04,000
Speaker 1: how do you not Maybe they got the sign before

892
00:38:04,360 --> 00:38:07,880
Speaker 1: all the difficult pregnancy, but the pregnancy sounded like it

893
00:38:07,920 --> 00:38:10,640
Speaker 1: was you know, almost like like a couple of days

894
00:38:10,680 --> 00:38:13,080
Speaker 1: of it being like stopping. It was four days, right,

895
00:38:13,160 --> 00:38:14,560
Speaker 1: it was four days in hospital.

896
00:38:14,400 --> 00:38:17,399
Speaker 2: Four days and you know, baby's still in the nick

897
00:38:17,520 --> 00:38:21,280
Speaker 2: you and like it seems like where the family should

898
00:38:21,280 --> 00:38:23,920
Speaker 2: be saying like, hey, do you need anything, like you know,

899
00:38:24,120 --> 00:38:25,040
Speaker 2: you know, yeah, how are you doing?

900
00:38:25,080 --> 00:38:26,359
Speaker 1: Do you need space? Do you need you need to

901
00:38:26,360 --> 00:38:28,640
Speaker 1: gabup some food whatever? It's like you should ask what

902
00:38:28,800 --> 00:38:31,560
Speaker 1: you need us to do? Yeah, I don't. I don't

903
00:38:31,600 --> 00:38:34,359
Speaker 1: know if like preempting their needs is a good idea,

904
00:38:34,400 --> 00:38:35,880
Speaker 1: especially when you just don't know what they would need,

905
00:38:35,920 --> 00:38:38,840
Speaker 1: except maybe the husband. He decided to tell them politely

906
00:38:38,920 --> 00:38:40,920
Speaker 1: to take it down. I know my husband and he

907
00:38:41,040 --> 00:38:44,520
Speaker 1: was likely straightforward and told him to take it down.

908
00:38:44,600 --> 00:38:46,960
Speaker 1: He came up and we cried together, trying to make

909
00:38:47,040 --> 00:38:48,719
Speaker 1: sense of everything that was going on with our son.

910
00:38:48,800 --> 00:38:50,560
Speaker 1: This was the first time we'd been home since we

911
00:38:50,640 --> 00:38:52,640
Speaker 1: drove to the hospital, and it didn't feel right that

912
00:38:52,719 --> 00:38:54,800
Speaker 1: the little guy wasn't with Wake up the next morning

913
00:38:54,840 --> 00:38:56,920
Speaker 1: to head back out to the hospital, make sure we

914
00:38:56,920 --> 00:38:59,680
Speaker 1: were there early. Here what the day's action plan was

915
00:38:59,800 --> 00:39:02,279
Speaker 1: for our son's care, and hear any updates on his

916
00:39:02,360 --> 00:39:05,360
Speaker 1: condition and find it. As I make my way downstairs,

917
00:39:05,560 --> 00:39:08,480
Speaker 1: it's only my parents with stern faces. I didn't have

918
00:39:08,560 --> 00:39:10,480
Speaker 1: time to deal with it, so we left after getting

919
00:39:10,480 --> 00:39:12,680
Speaker 1: a quick snack and made our way to the hospital.

920
00:39:12,719 --> 00:39:14,960
Speaker 1: The plan had been that my mom would stay behind

921
00:39:15,080 --> 00:39:17,279
Speaker 1: to look after me, but really it was to have

922
00:39:17,360 --> 00:39:19,920
Speaker 1: someone else to talk to when I got home and

923
00:39:20,000 --> 00:39:22,240
Speaker 1: make us food. She had offered and we didn't prompt

924
00:39:22,280 --> 00:39:24,400
Speaker 1: her to do this. My father and sisters would stop

925
00:39:24,400 --> 00:39:26,239
Speaker 1: by the hospital and made our son on the way

926
00:39:26,239 --> 00:39:28,440
Speaker 1: back home. I later found out in fact, they were

927
00:39:28,440 --> 00:39:31,520
Speaker 1: not stopping by and we're just leaving straight home. I

928
00:39:31,600 --> 00:39:32,920
Speaker 1: was hurt that they didn't want to meet my son,

929
00:39:32,960 --> 00:39:34,440
Speaker 1: but I just shrugged it off. We decided to go

930
00:39:34,480 --> 00:39:36,360
Speaker 1: back home so I could rest a little and have

931
00:39:36,440 --> 00:39:38,640
Speaker 1: dinner before going back to the hospital for a few

932
00:39:38,640 --> 00:39:41,480
Speaker 1: more hours. That evening, we arrive home to find work

933
00:39:41,680 --> 00:39:44,080
Speaker 1: I'd been done at the house, little things, but clearly

934
00:39:44,120 --> 00:39:46,040
Speaker 1: still work that we had never asked about. What do

935
00:39:46,040 --> 00:39:48,080
Speaker 1: you mean work. My husband walks in and makes a

936
00:39:48,080 --> 00:39:50,400
Speaker 1: comment something along the lines of, this is my home

937
00:39:50,560 --> 00:39:53,040
Speaker 1: and they need to ask permission before they do things,

938
00:39:53,080 --> 00:39:55,320
Speaker 1: which I think is totally fairly. They're doing like little

939
00:39:55,400 --> 00:39:57,760
Speaker 1: like DIY projects around the house, Like what are they doing.

940
00:39:57,680 --> 00:40:01,040
Speaker 2: They like essentially like redoing it to where they're like, oh,

941
00:40:01,120 --> 00:40:02,120
Speaker 2: this is like our house.

942
00:40:02,239 --> 00:40:04,400
Speaker 1: This is our house now the house.

943
00:40:04,719 --> 00:40:06,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, and you're just like, oh, let me mark my

944
00:40:06,640 --> 00:40:10,640
Speaker 2: territory by buying the ugliest like platitude on, like with

945
00:40:10,920 --> 00:40:14,000
Speaker 2: flip flops and a wood board, you know, like the

946
00:40:14,320 --> 00:40:17,960
Speaker 2: live Last Love stuff Yeah, live laugh love or uh

947
00:40:18,360 --> 00:40:26,279
Speaker 2: no shirt, no shoes, please come in now.

948
00:40:26,360 --> 00:40:28,960
Speaker 1: I think that may have been a bit rude, but

949
00:40:29,480 --> 00:40:31,680
Speaker 1: also to be fair, it had been the first time

950
00:40:31,719 --> 00:40:33,879
Speaker 1: and we were all so going through a very difficult time.

951
00:40:34,000 --> 00:40:35,640
Speaker 1: Not sure if that's an excuse, but we were both

952
00:40:35,880 --> 00:40:38,600
Speaker 1: just hanging on. I understood because I just wanted to

953
00:40:38,600 --> 00:40:40,600
Speaker 1: feel home and it felt comforting to come home to

954
00:40:40,640 --> 00:40:42,239
Speaker 1: find things where he left them and not to have

955
00:40:42,360 --> 00:40:44,920
Speaker 1: to ask where in the world certain things are. I

956
00:40:44,920 --> 00:40:47,440
Speaker 1: sat with my mom and asked why my sisters and

957
00:40:47,480 --> 00:40:49,839
Speaker 1: fathers didn't stop buying, and she let me know they

958
00:40:49,840 --> 00:40:52,120
Speaker 1: felt hurt. My husband told them to take down the

959
00:40:52,160 --> 00:40:54,879
Speaker 1: sign and pretty much how rude it is. I told

960
00:40:54,880 --> 00:40:57,200
Speaker 1: her that he didn't mean to be rude, but to understand,

961
00:40:57,239 --> 00:41:00,040
Speaker 1: we weren't celebrating. We had left our son in the

962
00:41:00,080 --> 00:41:02,399
Speaker 1: hospital to try and understand how he felt. I told

963
00:41:02,400 --> 00:41:04,800
Speaker 1: her I wasn't okay mentally and I knew I needed

964
00:41:04,800 --> 00:41:06,640
Speaker 1: to seek therapy. Was my way of trying to let

965
00:41:06,680 --> 00:41:08,719
Speaker 1: her know that I was not doing well. I was

966
00:41:08,800 --> 00:41:11,120
Speaker 1: barely keeping it together on the inside, and she just

967
00:41:11,160 --> 00:41:13,640
Speaker 1: stayed quiet. She later proceeded to ask me to give

968
00:41:13,680 --> 00:41:16,160
Speaker 1: her a list of things to do, and I tell her, please,

969
00:41:16,320 --> 00:41:18,320
Speaker 1: just make food and nothing else. Just take it easy.

970
00:41:18,360 --> 00:41:20,360
Speaker 1: I honestly don't like when others clean up after me

971
00:41:20,440 --> 00:41:22,840
Speaker 1: in my home or move things around. So maybe you

972
00:41:22,880 --> 00:41:25,160
Speaker 1: should listen to that. She's giving you less work. Just

973
00:41:25,160 --> 00:41:27,520
Speaker 1: just be helpful in the ways that she needs, not

974
00:41:27,600 --> 00:41:30,440
Speaker 1: in the ways that you need to feel helpful. Yeah. Ooh,

975
00:41:30,440 --> 00:41:32,200
Speaker 1: that's a good way to phrase it. Yeah. My mother

976
00:41:32,239 --> 00:41:34,240
Speaker 1: has a history of this, and when she gets bored,

977
00:41:34,360 --> 00:41:36,640
Speaker 1: she will go through people's things and throw things out

978
00:41:36,719 --> 00:41:39,560
Speaker 1: or move things around. This is in her home, but

979
00:41:39,600 --> 00:41:41,880
Speaker 1: when I live there, she would also go through my

980
00:41:42,080 --> 00:41:44,840
Speaker 1: things and throw things out. Her response is, well, you know,

981
00:41:44,920 --> 00:41:46,759
Speaker 1: I can't stay still and I need to do thing.

982
00:41:46,840 --> 00:41:50,120
Speaker 1: After back and forth and likely to comment my husband made,

983
00:41:50,200 --> 00:41:52,600
Speaker 1: she decides to turn my dad around and have them

984
00:41:52,640 --> 00:41:55,120
Speaker 1: come back and pick her up since she didn't feel

985
00:41:55,280 --> 00:41:57,920
Speaker 1: useful or welcome in our home. This point, we're going

986
00:41:57,920 --> 00:41:59,440
Speaker 1: to head back to the hospital. And I was just

987
00:41:59,520 --> 00:42:02,800
Speaker 1: crying more out of frustration that she really is only

988
00:42:02,840 --> 00:42:06,279
Speaker 1: willing to give what she wants and what she thinks

989
00:42:06,320 --> 00:42:08,800
Speaker 1: is best, and not what I want or neat. I

990
00:42:08,840 --> 00:42:10,440
Speaker 1: don't have the mental space to deal with her or

991
00:42:10,480 --> 00:42:13,239
Speaker 1: my family, and my only focus is my son. The

992
00:42:13,360 --> 00:42:15,600
Speaker 1: days went by and he got better. He had a

993
00:42:15,680 --> 00:42:17,759
Speaker 1: twenty eight day stay and then I see you. I

994
00:42:17,840 --> 00:42:20,360
Speaker 1: was there every day from nine am to nine pm,

995
00:42:20,440 --> 00:42:23,240
Speaker 1: cheering for him and watching him get stronger. During his stay,

996
00:42:23,360 --> 00:42:26,440
Speaker 1: my parents visited twice and one of those times was

997
00:42:26,520 --> 00:42:30,239
Speaker 1: my twenty female sister joining and also my twenty female

998
00:42:30,280 --> 00:42:32,439
Speaker 1: sister got the opportunity to meet him. Okay, that's great,

999
00:42:32,480 --> 00:42:34,359
Speaker 1: there we go. Now. Context is the and I see

1000
00:42:34,360 --> 00:42:36,640
Speaker 1: you the nick you. Babies here are fragile, and it

1001
00:42:36,719 --> 00:42:38,799
Speaker 1: is required to thoroughly wash your hands every time you

1002
00:42:38,840 --> 00:42:41,880
Speaker 1: went to a room, regardless if you left a minute

1003
00:42:41,880 --> 00:42:44,520
Speaker 1: and came back in. This will be useful context for later.

1004
00:42:44,640 --> 00:42:45,960
Speaker 1: What do you got? What do you got for me? Johnny?

1005
00:42:45,960 --> 00:42:48,080
Speaker 1: And I see you, you got a little I see you.

1006
00:42:48,800 --> 00:42:53,040
Speaker 2: Somebody is going to come in and then they're gonna

1007
00:42:53,040 --> 00:42:55,080
Speaker 2: be like, you know, ma'am, can you wash it ands?

1008
00:42:55,120 --> 00:42:57,399
Speaker 1: And be like I don't need to wash my hands. Oh,

1009
00:42:57,520 --> 00:42:59,160
Speaker 1: I'm like clean, Why are you telling me to wash

1010
00:42:59,200 --> 00:43:00,759
Speaker 1: my hands? I'm like, God, are like, just let me

1011
00:43:00,800 --> 00:43:03,879
Speaker 1: live my life with my dirty hands. Yeah, I see

1012
00:43:03,880 --> 00:43:06,399
Speaker 1: that coming too. I see that coming to No, not good,

1013
00:43:06,520 --> 00:43:09,240
Speaker 1: not what we like to see, not what we want.

1014
00:43:09,719 --> 00:43:12,400
Speaker 1: Wash your dang hands. During his time in the hospital,

1015
00:43:12,440 --> 00:43:14,880
Speaker 1: I would give updates to my mom and things seemed okay,

1016
00:43:15,040 --> 00:43:18,360
Speaker 1: not great, but manageable, and I figured we get past

1017
00:43:18,400 --> 00:43:20,879
Speaker 1: whatever happened, as we usually do. My sisters reached out

1018
00:43:20,920 --> 00:43:23,200
Speaker 1: once to see how he was doing, and later I

1019
00:43:23,239 --> 00:43:25,160
Speaker 1: found out that they only reached out to me after

1020
00:43:25,200 --> 00:43:27,440
Speaker 1: my husband asked them to reach out because he knew

1021
00:43:27,480 --> 00:43:31,760
Speaker 1: I wasn't doing well gay for feeling the genuine family support.

1022
00:43:31,920 --> 00:43:33,680
Speaker 1: We were finally able to take our baby home on

1023
00:43:33,760 --> 00:43:37,800
Speaker 1: a feeding tube, but nonetheless home. We got discharged on

1024
00:43:37,800 --> 00:43:40,120
Speaker 1: the Sunday afternoon, and we're happy to have him home,

1025
00:43:40,360 --> 00:43:43,239
Speaker 1: but also happy to have a week to ourselves to

1026
00:43:43,280 --> 00:43:46,160
Speaker 1: get into a rhythm with our new little family of

1027
00:43:46,280 --> 00:43:49,520
Speaker 1: three before we had any visitors. The following weekend, my

1028
00:43:49,600 --> 00:43:51,760
Speaker 1: husband and I decided that we would allow our immediate

1029
00:43:51,760 --> 00:43:54,600
Speaker 1: family to visit only, and to not overwhelm us or

1030
00:43:54,640 --> 00:43:57,920
Speaker 1: our son, we would have one family each day. I

1031
00:43:58,000 --> 00:44:01,080
Speaker 1: quickly texted it to my mother to ask what day

1032
00:44:01,280 --> 00:44:03,560
Speaker 1: they would prefer to come over to meet our son,

1033
00:44:03,719 --> 00:44:06,240
Speaker 1: since we were going to have one day for each family,

1034
00:44:06,320 --> 00:44:09,080
Speaker 1: and her response was, we'll go next weekend instead. I

1035
00:44:09,120 --> 00:44:12,239
Speaker 1: asked why, and she said I hoped to see them

1036
00:44:12,480 --> 00:44:15,400
Speaker 1: that weekend. She later got back to me and said, okay,

1037
00:44:15,560 --> 00:44:18,799
Speaker 1: your dad said we could go Saturday. Looking back, I

1038
00:44:18,880 --> 00:44:22,200
Speaker 1: regret asking why and feel like I beg them to

1039
00:44:22,280 --> 00:44:25,080
Speaker 1: come to see my son. Saturday comes around and they

1040
00:44:25,160 --> 00:44:26,719
Speaker 1: let me know they are on their way. They show

1041
00:44:26,760 --> 00:44:28,359
Speaker 1: up and I asked them to wash their hands if

1042
00:44:28,360 --> 00:44:30,799
Speaker 1: someone wanted to hold the baby. Both my sisters just

1043
00:44:30,840 --> 00:44:32,879
Speaker 1: point to my mother. She held them and we made

1044
00:44:32,880 --> 00:44:35,640
Speaker 1: small talk, and then an hour later they get up

1045
00:44:35,680 --> 00:44:38,160
Speaker 1: and say they're leaving. Honestly, I was expecting them to

1046
00:44:38,160 --> 00:44:41,319
Speaker 1: stay longer and was planning to get lunch delivered. They

1047
00:44:41,719 --> 00:44:44,360
Speaker 1: just said, they have something else to do. You have

1048
00:44:44,440 --> 00:44:48,400
Speaker 1: something better to do than to see see the child

1049
00:44:48,960 --> 00:44:52,080
Speaker 1: of your I mean, this is, this is the child, grandchild,

1050
00:44:52,120 --> 00:44:54,759
Speaker 1: This is your grandchild the first time is and not

1051
00:44:54,840 --> 00:44:56,560
Speaker 1: just your grandchild, but your grandchild that.

1052
00:44:56,560 --> 00:45:01,800
Speaker 2: Has gone through this insane journey nearly alive, barely alive

1053
00:45:01,920 --> 00:45:04,279
Speaker 2: to be able to make it to the spot, and

1054
00:45:04,320 --> 00:45:06,480
Speaker 2: you're not, just like I mean, I would be balling

1055
00:45:06,680 --> 00:45:09,640
Speaker 2: my eyeballs out, grateful that I could just you know,

1056
00:45:09,920 --> 00:45:11,440
Speaker 2: see and hold the baby.

1057
00:45:11,600 --> 00:45:13,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, we walked them out and not gonna lie. I

1058
00:45:13,640 --> 00:45:15,680
Speaker 1: cursed them out of my head and was bummed, but

1059
00:45:15,719 --> 00:45:18,960
Speaker 1: I felt it was my fault for pushing their visit.

1060
00:45:19,040 --> 00:45:20,839
Speaker 1: I wasn't going to invite them over again until they

1061
00:45:20,840 --> 00:45:23,120
Speaker 1: reached out that they wanted to visit. And next day

1062
00:45:23,200 --> 00:45:25,200
Speaker 1: the Sunday rolls around and we had plans for my

1063
00:45:25,320 --> 00:45:27,560
Speaker 1: husband's family to come visit late that afternoon, and I

1064
00:45:27,600 --> 00:45:30,680
Speaker 1: received a call that morning from my uncle mother's brother

1065
00:45:30,920 --> 00:45:32,760
Speaker 1: that they were on their way over to see the baby.

1066
00:45:32,840 --> 00:45:34,600
Speaker 1: I was thinking it back because I had invited them,

1067
00:45:34,640 --> 00:45:36,759
Speaker 1: and I clearly told my mother that they were going

1068
00:45:36,800 --> 00:45:39,640
Speaker 1: to have a day for each family, so she knew

1069
00:45:39,680 --> 00:45:42,200
Speaker 1: my in laws were going to be coming that Sunday,

1070
00:45:42,239 --> 00:45:44,319
Speaker 1: and clearly she was the one that told them. We

1071
00:45:44,360 --> 00:45:46,560
Speaker 1: made it work and didn't mention anything to them since

1072
00:45:46,600 --> 00:45:49,160
Speaker 1: I figured they wouldn't overlap with my in laws. It

1073
00:45:49,320 --> 00:45:52,040
Speaker 1: wasn't what I had planned, but both my husband and

1074
00:45:52,040 --> 00:45:54,840
Speaker 1: I were grateful for the visit, and it was honestly

1075
00:45:54,840 --> 00:45:57,200
Speaker 1: a better visit than what I had thought and what

1076
00:45:57,239 --> 00:46:00,239
Speaker 1: I had had with my family the day prior. A

1077
00:46:00,280 --> 00:46:02,279
Speaker 1: few weeks go by and my mother and I talk

1078
00:46:02,480 --> 00:46:05,120
Speaker 1: or text once in a while, just checking on how

1079
00:46:05,160 --> 00:46:07,120
Speaker 1: my son is doing. But randomly in the middle of

1080
00:46:07,160 --> 00:46:10,719
Speaker 1: the week, the doorbell wearings. I wasn't expecting anyone. My

1081
00:46:10,800 --> 00:46:13,480
Speaker 1: husband had been working from home since is time, off

1082
00:46:13,600 --> 00:46:16,400
Speaker 1: ended my parent and my younger sister. I was surprised

1083
00:46:16,400 --> 00:46:18,919
Speaker 1: and just figured they were dropping by for a while

1084
00:46:18,960 --> 00:46:20,720
Speaker 1: to see my son. They come in and I again

1085
00:46:20,800 --> 00:46:23,880
Speaker 1: asked them to wash their hands before holding lesh touching

1086
00:46:24,080 --> 00:46:26,359
Speaker 1: my son. My husband was in a meeting or something

1087
00:46:26,440 --> 00:46:28,520
Speaker 1: and just texted him my parents are here. They let

1088
00:46:28,600 --> 00:46:30,399
Speaker 1: him know so you can come down the stairs when

1089
00:46:30,400 --> 00:46:32,600
Speaker 1: he got a chance. Then they held my son briefly

1090
00:46:32,600 --> 00:46:34,640
Speaker 1: and put him back down. When my father says to

1091
00:46:34,680 --> 00:46:36,920
Speaker 1: me and turns to me and says, you know your

1092
00:46:36,920 --> 00:46:40,600
Speaker 1: mom has feelings too, and they were hurts. I was confused,

1093
00:46:40,719 --> 00:46:43,080
Speaker 1: clearly not knowing what he was talking about. He goes

1094
00:46:43,120 --> 00:46:45,600
Speaker 1: on to say, they felt unwelcome in our home and

1095
00:46:45,719 --> 00:46:47,840
Speaker 1: all they did was try to help, And how do

1096
00:46:47,920 --> 00:46:50,600
Speaker 1: you think they feel? But again, you weren't helping in

1097
00:46:50,640 --> 00:46:52,600
Speaker 1: a helpful way. You were helping in the way that

1098
00:46:52,840 --> 00:46:56,600
Speaker 1: you thought you wanted to help. It. It's different. It's different,

1099
00:46:56,719 --> 00:47:00,920
Speaker 1: like being being helpful is not about doing things for

1100
00:47:00,960 --> 00:47:05,520
Speaker 1: another person. Being helpful is about doing things that are

1101
00:47:05,600 --> 00:47:08,160
Speaker 1: helpful to this person. Yes, you know, I'm not even

1102
00:47:08,200 --> 00:47:10,920
Speaker 1: two months postpartum and I have my father raising his

1103
00:47:11,000 --> 00:47:13,399
Speaker 1: voice at my home. I am taken aback and told them,

1104
00:47:13,560 --> 00:47:15,839
Speaker 1: I don't know what you're talking about. Our focus has

1105
00:47:15,880 --> 00:47:18,480
Speaker 1: been on my son, and my priority is my family,

1106
00:47:18,960 --> 00:47:21,040
Speaker 1: my son and my husband. I've been through so much

1107
00:47:21,120 --> 00:47:23,440
Speaker 1: and that is where my focus is. I'm sorry feelings

1108
00:47:23,440 --> 00:47:25,880
Speaker 1: got hurt, but you have to understand where our heads

1109
00:47:25,920 --> 00:47:29,080
Speaker 1: have been. He just keeps on digging on how rude

1110
00:47:29,080 --> 00:47:31,960
Speaker 1: we've been and making me out like the worst daughter,

1111
00:47:32,080 --> 00:47:34,839
Speaker 1: and that I'm ungrateful, and honestly starts feeling heated. When

1112
00:47:34,880 --> 00:47:37,400
Speaker 1: my husband comes downstairs. We were speaking in Spanish, so

1113
00:47:37,400 --> 00:47:40,080
Speaker 1: we can't quite understand and everything, but they are just

1114
00:47:40,480 --> 00:47:42,719
Speaker 1: saying that they are leaving. I've just had a whiplash.

1115
00:47:42,760 --> 00:47:45,279
Speaker 1: I wasn't expecting visitors. They come in a few minutes later,

1116
00:47:45,480 --> 00:47:48,279
Speaker 1: it's them raising their voice at me and bedrading me.

1117
00:47:48,360 --> 00:47:49,799
Speaker 1: I get a call from my father the next day,

1118
00:47:49,840 --> 00:47:51,759
Speaker 1: who never calls me, to tell me to call my

1119
00:47:51,800 --> 00:47:54,160
Speaker 1: mother and apologize because she isn't doing well. She needs

1120
00:47:54,239 --> 00:47:56,840
Speaker 1: love and support, and you have been treating her poorly.

1121
00:47:57,080 --> 00:47:59,399
Speaker 1: I have made them feel bad and have made them

1122
00:47:59,440 --> 00:48:02,200
Speaker 1: feel already because I asked them to wash their hands.

1123
00:48:02,360 --> 00:48:05,040
Speaker 1: This line was mentioned a few times. I'm bewildered because hello,

1124
00:48:05,080 --> 00:48:07,239
Speaker 1: it's a new baby and you should be washing your hands.

1125
00:48:07,239 --> 00:48:09,880
Speaker 1: And also, remember your grandson was in the n I

1126
00:48:09,960 --> 00:48:12,359
Speaker 1: see you with a nick you born premature and came

1127
00:48:12,400 --> 00:48:15,920
Speaker 1: out with a feeding tube. You should want to wash

1128
00:48:15,960 --> 00:48:18,319
Speaker 1: your hands on your own to protect him. You've been

1129
00:48:18,320 --> 00:48:20,200
Speaker 1: in the car one and a half hours, like, come

1130
00:48:20,280 --> 00:48:22,600
Speaker 1: up the conversation with him, isn't going anywhere, and it's

1131
00:48:22,600 --> 00:48:24,200
Speaker 1: like talking to a walk He only wants me to

1132
00:48:24,239 --> 00:48:26,680
Speaker 1: apologize because his wife isn't doing well and when she

1133
00:48:26,800 --> 00:48:29,239
Speaker 1: isn't happy, it affects him, and well, you can't have that,

1134
00:48:29,320 --> 00:48:32,000
Speaker 1: you know, happy wife, happy life. I pretty much hurry

1135
00:48:32,000 --> 00:48:35,480
Speaker 1: and end the call because my son had a blowout. Thankfully,

1136
00:48:35,480 --> 00:48:40,080
Speaker 1: a little nothing like a little diaper action sometimes save today.

1137
00:48:40,280 --> 00:48:43,440
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, Saday, Sorry, baby's pooping. Yepry baby, I got

1138
00:48:43,440 --> 00:48:45,959
Speaker 1: it out. I got I would love to stay here

1139
00:48:46,200 --> 00:48:50,800
Speaker 1: and talk, but smell that. That's the sound of responsibility

1140
00:48:50,800 --> 00:48:54,000
Speaker 1: calling fresh. I gotta go, I gotta go. You know,

1141
00:48:54,160 --> 00:48:57,000
Speaker 1: sometimes a shitty situation is the best kind of situation

1142
00:48:57,080 --> 00:48:59,160
Speaker 1: you can have. Well, to be nice, I call him

1143
00:48:59,160 --> 00:49:01,520
Speaker 1: on the next day, checking in to see how she's doing,

1144
00:49:01,600 --> 00:49:03,719
Speaker 1: and FaceTime with her so you can see my son.

1145
00:49:03,960 --> 00:49:05,960
Speaker 1: It goes fine. It's very superficial. I talked to her

1146
00:49:05,960 --> 00:49:08,200
Speaker 1: at a later point and she makes it known that

1147
00:49:08,239 --> 00:49:10,560
Speaker 1: they want to visit my cousin and that also they

1148
00:49:10,560 --> 00:49:12,319
Speaker 1: had a baby around the same time as me, and

1149
00:49:12,360 --> 00:49:14,839
Speaker 1: that they stayed there for hours, and how my dad

1150
00:49:14,880 --> 00:49:17,640
Speaker 1: loved holding her baby and how he fed him, did

1151
00:49:17,680 --> 00:49:19,399
Speaker 1: I mention that up to this point, my father had

1152
00:49:19,440 --> 00:49:24,040
Speaker 1: not held my son and declined every offer that I made.

1153
00:49:24,080 --> 00:49:26,920
Speaker 1: She also throws in how my cousin and her husband

1154
00:49:27,000 --> 00:49:30,799
Speaker 1: were just gushing over how grateful they were for the visit.

1155
00:49:31,040 --> 00:49:33,440
Speaker 1: Maybe I read into it too much, but that rubbed

1156
00:49:33,480 --> 00:49:36,319
Speaker 1: me so wrong. I have no problem with them visiting her,

1157
00:49:36,520 --> 00:49:38,439
Speaker 1: and I think it's great because she doesn't have any

1158
00:49:38,440 --> 00:49:41,040
Speaker 1: other family in the States. It's the way she told me,

1159
00:49:41,080 --> 00:49:43,480
Speaker 1: in the little details that she pointed out as a

1160
00:49:43,520 --> 00:49:45,960
Speaker 1: way to try and jab me, that rubbed me wrong.

1161
00:49:46,080 --> 00:49:48,640
Speaker 1: We just go by, barely communicating with anyone of my family.

1162
00:49:48,719 --> 00:49:51,239
Speaker 1: Holiday season is upon us and nothing from them. A

1163
00:49:51,239 --> 00:49:53,440
Speaker 1: few weeks before Christmas, we get a call on the

1164
00:49:53,560 --> 00:49:56,040
Speaker 1: Sunday morning asking if we'll be home because they are

1165
00:49:56,040 --> 00:49:58,359
Speaker 1: coming over for a visit. I say, sure, great, they

1166
00:49:58,400 --> 00:50:00,400
Speaker 1: want to come visit the grandson. I figured. Well. My

1167
00:50:00,400 --> 00:50:03,319
Speaker 1: family arrived along with my middle sister's boyfriend, and they

1168
00:50:03,320 --> 00:50:06,240
Speaker 1: came to announce their engagement that happened the day prior. Honestly,

1169
00:50:06,320 --> 00:50:07,880
Speaker 1: I was so happy for them. He is such a

1170
00:50:07,920 --> 00:50:09,719
Speaker 1: great guy and she's lucky to have him. But the

1171
00:50:09,760 --> 00:50:12,000
Speaker 1: whole visit was my parents mostly talking to my sister

1172
00:50:12,040 --> 00:50:15,000
Speaker 1: and her fiance in Spanish, which my husband can't totally understand,

1173
00:50:15,080 --> 00:50:17,279
Speaker 1: and we both felt like the third wheel. It was

1174
00:50:17,320 --> 00:50:20,239
Speaker 1: just them having conversations and us staring and or looking

1175
00:50:20,239 --> 00:50:22,280
Speaker 1: at each other, and they left after a couple of hours.

1176
00:50:22,400 --> 00:50:24,120
Speaker 1: That's got to be a little weird. Like, yeah, it's

1177
00:50:24,160 --> 00:50:28,680
Speaker 1: like hello, hello, Hello, I am hi. It's like a

1178
00:50:28,760 --> 00:50:32,239
Speaker 1: podcast that you don't understand that you're just it's listening to.

1179
00:50:32,760 --> 00:50:36,640
Speaker 2: It's like you're watching a podcast, except it's people in

1180
00:50:36,680 --> 00:50:38,560
Speaker 2: real life and they're just ignoring you.

1181
00:50:38,600 --> 00:50:40,960
Speaker 1: And they're speaking the language you don't understand. Next time

1182
00:50:41,000 --> 00:50:43,480
Speaker 1: I saw my parents was really the weekend after New

1183
00:50:43,560 --> 00:50:46,480
Speaker 1: Year's I had told my husband that the next time

1184
00:50:46,520 --> 00:50:48,479
Speaker 1: we saw them, I wanted to clear the air because

1185
00:50:48,560 --> 00:50:52,120
Speaker 1: I hated having this dysfunctional relationship and wanted them to

1186
00:50:52,160 --> 00:50:54,640
Speaker 1: be involved in my son's life. Well, they arrive and

1187
00:50:54,760 --> 00:50:57,319
Speaker 1: it's awkward, We do small talk, they play and hold

1188
00:50:57,360 --> 00:51:00,200
Speaker 1: our son. Over all a nice visit given the strained relationship,

1189
00:51:00,280 --> 00:51:02,520
Speaker 1: and towards the end of their visit, I tell them

1190
00:51:02,560 --> 00:51:04,440
Speaker 1: I want to clear the air and tell them I

1191
00:51:04,520 --> 00:51:07,160
Speaker 1: know things haven't been well and I want to talk

1192
00:51:07,200 --> 00:51:09,359
Speaker 1: things out. So we can move past it and have

1193
00:51:09,520 --> 00:51:12,160
Speaker 1: them be more involved in my son's life. That conversation

1194
00:51:12,280 --> 00:51:17,600
Speaker 1: went downhill right away. It was a lot of how

1195
00:51:17,640 --> 00:51:20,719
Speaker 1: we were ungrateful and rude. Some key highlights. I was

1196
00:51:20,760 --> 00:51:28,160
Speaker 1: the cause for them considering divorce. Wow, what I did

1197
00:51:28,480 --> 00:51:31,440
Speaker 1: just caused issues in their marriage. Side note, I recently

1198
00:51:31,640 --> 00:51:34,600
Speaker 1: remembered something that happened when I was seven or eight,

1199
00:51:34,760 --> 00:51:36,640
Speaker 1: my mother taking me with her on a date with

1200
00:51:36,680 --> 00:51:39,560
Speaker 1: another man while my dad was working and telling me

1201
00:51:39,920 --> 00:51:42,120
Speaker 1: that I had to act like I was her sister.

1202
00:51:42,400 --> 00:51:45,240
Speaker 1: There was a time period when she requested I didn't

1203
00:51:45,320 --> 00:51:48,399
Speaker 1: call her mom when out in public if my dad

1204
00:51:48,440 --> 00:51:51,000
Speaker 1: wasn't around, since it made her feel old and likely

1205
00:51:51,040 --> 00:51:54,359
Speaker 1: because men would realize she had children. Other times, she

1206
00:51:54,400 --> 00:51:56,399
Speaker 1: was flirty with other men and enjoyed the attention from

1207
00:51:56,400 --> 00:51:58,760
Speaker 1: a married man who had been close to my parents

1208
00:51:58,880 --> 00:52:01,479
Speaker 1: and never really shut that Ottens down. Oh my god,

1209
00:52:01,640 --> 00:52:05,920
Speaker 1: we're getting some backstory. Holy moly, this is still going on.

1210
00:52:06,239 --> 00:52:09,040
Speaker 1: We made them feel dirty by constantly asking them to

1211
00:52:09,120 --> 00:52:12,680
Speaker 1: wash their hands. They always shower and wear their best rags,

1212
00:52:12,760 --> 00:52:15,280
Speaker 1: and for me to ask them to wash their hands

1213
00:52:15,360 --> 00:52:18,279
Speaker 1: was rude. They even asked my aunt and uncle if

1214
00:52:18,320 --> 00:52:20,759
Speaker 1: we asked them to wash their hands. I don't understand

1215
00:52:21,160 --> 00:52:23,840
Speaker 1: what they went through when my son was the nickue.

1216
00:52:24,120 --> 00:52:26,400
Speaker 1: They constantly help other people with home improvements, and those

1217
00:52:26,440 --> 00:52:28,719
Speaker 1: people are grateful, but we weren't. A note. All the

1218
00:52:28,719 --> 00:52:31,920
Speaker 1: scenarios they mentioned were people asking them for help, not

1219
00:52:32,200 --> 00:52:36,360
Speaker 1: them randomly doing things without being prompted. My mother mentioned

1220
00:52:36,360 --> 00:52:38,920
Speaker 1: how it hurt so much to hear me say I

1221
00:52:39,000 --> 00:52:41,920
Speaker 1: was prioritizing my family, husband son, and how it was

1222
00:52:42,040 --> 00:52:44,759
Speaker 1: karma for her since that's what she told her mom

1223
00:52:44,800 --> 00:52:47,279
Speaker 1: when she was defending me about some family drama years ago.

1224
00:52:47,719 --> 00:52:50,560
Speaker 1: She now realizes she was wrong for saying what she

1225
00:52:50,680 --> 00:52:53,600
Speaker 1: did while making it known that karma will get me.

1226
00:52:53,800 --> 00:52:56,279
Speaker 1: After the conversation went nowhere, we really were just going

1227
00:52:56,280 --> 00:52:58,680
Speaker 1: in circles, and when I tried to explain how some

1228
00:52:58,719 --> 00:53:01,480
Speaker 1: of the things they did may me feel, their response

1229
00:53:01,600 --> 00:53:03,719
Speaker 1: was deflect or just put themselves down, saying I know

1230
00:53:03,800 --> 00:53:06,000
Speaker 1: I'm stupid and I don't think or I'm sorry for

1231
00:53:06,040 --> 00:53:07,560
Speaker 1: being dumb. We just haven't figured out how to be

1232
00:53:07,600 --> 00:53:09,959
Speaker 1: in laws. I just sort of shut down and try

1233
00:53:09,960 --> 00:53:11,839
Speaker 1: to move on and tell them I wish they were

1234
00:53:11,880 --> 00:53:13,520
Speaker 1: more involved in my son's life since we don't have

1235
00:53:13,520 --> 00:53:15,719
Speaker 1: a lot of family and he only has one grandma.

1236
00:53:15,840 --> 00:53:19,439
Speaker 1: Since my husband's mom had passed away, decided to head

1237
00:53:19,440 --> 00:53:21,479
Speaker 1: out and that was it. We didn't talk for months.

1238
00:53:21,480 --> 00:53:25,680
Speaker 1: It sounds like this relationship is not getting any better. Yeah,

1239
00:53:25,719 --> 00:53:27,319
Speaker 1: I guess I could have also reached out, but I

1240
00:53:27,360 --> 00:53:29,840
Speaker 1: never felt supported or like they tried to understand me.

1241
00:53:30,000 --> 00:53:31,879
Speaker 1: And maybe I've been wrong and was the a hole.

1242
00:53:31,960 --> 00:53:34,560
Speaker 1: My husband has always supported my decision and has encouraged

1243
00:53:34,560 --> 00:53:36,120
Speaker 1: me to reach out, but I think I'm just stubborn

1244
00:53:36,200 --> 00:53:38,600
Speaker 1: and also don't know what to say anymore. Through all this,

1245
00:53:38,640 --> 00:53:41,239
Speaker 1: I've talked to my youngest sister, twenty female, once and

1246
00:53:41,280 --> 00:53:44,239
Speaker 1: she expressed how crappy the situation has been and that

1247
00:53:44,280 --> 00:53:46,960
Speaker 1: she doesn't understand how things got here, But then she

1248
00:53:46,960 --> 00:53:49,000
Speaker 1: stopped replying to me. It seems like, OHP is losing

1249
00:53:49,080 --> 00:53:51,839
Speaker 1: all their family. Yeah. My other sister has never reached out.

1250
00:53:51,880 --> 00:53:54,040
Speaker 1: We've never been super close, and she always had the

1251
00:53:54,040 --> 00:53:56,520
Speaker 1: same mentality of my mother for everything. I wish they

1252
00:53:56,520 --> 00:53:58,840
Speaker 1: would have reached out to at least ask about their grandson,

1253
00:53:58,840 --> 00:54:01,080
Speaker 1: her nephew, not even about but I think it's too

1254
00:54:01,120 --> 00:54:03,719
Speaker 1: much to ask. That last conversation was in January and

1255
00:54:03,800 --> 00:54:05,799
Speaker 1: now it's the week before Mother's Day. We've seen them

1256
00:54:05,840 --> 00:54:08,080
Speaker 1: once at a family event where we stopped by for

1257
00:54:08,120 --> 00:54:10,680
Speaker 1: a few hours and acted fake like we all got along.

1258
00:54:10,920 --> 00:54:12,759
Speaker 1: I tried inviting them for Easter so they could spend

1259
00:54:12,800 --> 00:54:14,680
Speaker 1: time with my son, but they had just made plans

1260
00:54:14,719 --> 00:54:16,600
Speaker 1: and wouldn't make it. I know the sister has a

1261
00:54:16,640 --> 00:54:18,560
Speaker 1: date for a wedding, and it wouldn't surprise me if

1262
00:54:18,640 --> 00:54:21,760
Speaker 1: I'm not invited. It's her day, and I respect her decision,

1263
00:54:21,800 --> 00:54:23,120
Speaker 1: but I'm not going to lie and say it doesn't

1264
00:54:23,160 --> 00:54:25,400
Speaker 1: hurt me. I really don't even know why my sisters

1265
00:54:25,440 --> 00:54:26,960
Speaker 1: have beef with me. By the way, you should never

1266
00:54:27,000 --> 00:54:30,160
Speaker 1: have beef with us because you could listen to full

1267
00:54:30,200 --> 00:54:33,080
Speaker 1: stories just like this. Go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or

1268
00:54:33,120 --> 00:54:35,919
Speaker 1: your favorite podcast app and search. Okay, storytime, there's more

1269
00:54:35,960 --> 00:54:38,360
Speaker 1: to the story, and I'm just gonna steamroll right into it.

1270
00:54:38,360 --> 00:54:40,440
Speaker 1: But John, any thoughts before we get to the end.

1271
00:54:40,480 --> 00:54:43,120
Speaker 2: I mean, pretty much what we said insane experience to

1272
00:54:43,239 --> 00:54:48,120
Speaker 2: go through, and in way even more insane. How disrespectful

1273
00:54:48,120 --> 00:54:51,440
Speaker 2: and unempathetic the family is. And Opie deserves ten trillion,

1274
00:54:51,600 --> 00:54:54,480
Speaker 2: ten trillion percent better A grade A grade.

1275
00:54:54,200 --> 00:54:56,560
Speaker 1: My question, do you read it the final question where

1276
00:54:56,560 --> 00:54:58,360
Speaker 1: my husband and I a holes? Should I go and

1277
00:54:58,400 --> 00:55:01,320
Speaker 1: apologize for hurting everyone's feelings? Is there something I'm not seeing?

1278
00:55:01,360 --> 00:55:03,560
Speaker 1: Maybe I'm acting too much like the victim here. At

1279
00:55:03,560 --> 00:55:05,759
Speaker 1: this point, I just feel disappointed and sad about the

1280
00:55:05,760 --> 00:55:08,319
Speaker 1: whole postpartum journey, where I thought it would have brought

1281
00:55:08,360 --> 00:55:11,160
Speaker 1: my family closer together because there was a baby. I

1282
00:55:11,200 --> 00:55:13,080
Speaker 1: know I still need to do more therapy to fully

1283
00:55:13,080 --> 00:55:15,239
Speaker 1: cope with what happened with my son. I resent my

1284
00:55:15,320 --> 00:55:17,920
Speaker 1: family for lack of support in my postpartum journey and

1285
00:55:18,000 --> 00:55:20,319
Speaker 1: making me deal with more drama than I needed. I

1286
00:55:20,320 --> 00:55:21,920
Speaker 1: would like to have a relationship with them, but I

1287
00:55:21,920 --> 00:55:24,640
Speaker 1: don't know what that will look like or even how

1288
00:55:24,680 --> 00:55:27,000
Speaker 1: to begin moving forward. I'll just be seeing them again

1289
00:55:27,040 --> 00:55:29,040
Speaker 1: in a month at a family event and just assume

1290
00:55:29,239 --> 00:55:31,080
Speaker 1: we will be faked, because that's what we do in

1291
00:55:31,080 --> 00:55:33,560
Speaker 1: front of others, and that's that's where it ends. That's

1292
00:55:33,560 --> 00:55:35,960
Speaker 1: where it ends. It's sad, it's sad to see, but

1293
00:55:36,480 --> 00:55:39,359
Speaker 1: you know, I do think, Look, you should look at

1294
00:55:39,400 --> 00:55:42,120
Speaker 1: all people in your life. You know, is this person

1295
00:55:42,200 --> 00:55:46,360
Speaker 1: bringing me joy? Right? Is this person making my life better?

1296
00:55:46,600 --> 00:55:48,800
Speaker 1: Like easier? Are they giving me the kind of energy

1297
00:55:48,840 --> 00:55:49,839
Speaker 1: that I want to my Yeah.

1298
00:55:49,880 --> 00:55:52,200
Speaker 2: I mean it's like my hope for Opie is that

1299
00:55:52,960 --> 00:55:56,600
Speaker 2: after it's kind of like the dust settles and Opie's

1300
00:55:56,640 --> 00:55:59,160
Speaker 2: like been away from their family for long enough to like, Oh,

1301
00:55:59,400 --> 00:56:03,319
Speaker 2: I actually I'm not like going crazy and people aren't

1302
00:56:03,360 --> 00:56:05,680
Speaker 2: like rearranging my garage randomly.

1303
00:56:05,880 --> 00:56:08,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, what would happen if you just didn't have contact

1304
00:56:08,960 --> 00:56:11,920
Speaker 1: with him? Probably life would be a lot simpler. Yeah,

1305
00:56:11,960 --> 00:56:15,120
Speaker 1: but that's where that story ends. Hey, it's John, your

1306
00:56:15,120 --> 00:56:15,560
Speaker 1: og host.

1307
00:56:15,600 --> 00:56:15,719
Speaker 3: Here.

1308
00:56:15,719 --> 00:56:17,080
Speaker 2: We're gonna get back to the stories, but here's a

1309
00:56:17,120 --> 00:56:19,560
Speaker 2: quick three minute break of ass from our sponsors. My

1310
00:56:19,640 --> 00:56:22,719
Speaker 2: husband's grandparents hate me. I can't help but talk back.

1311
00:56:22,920 --> 00:56:24,360
Speaker 2: Gotta snap back.

1312
00:56:26,640 --> 00:56:26,879
Speaker 1: Yep.

1313
00:56:26,920 --> 00:56:29,640
Speaker 2: I just got married on Saturday, congrats, and we had

1314
00:56:29,640 --> 00:56:33,080
Speaker 2: a very small, micro backyard wedding seventeen people. Groom and

1315
00:56:33,120 --> 00:56:35,880
Speaker 2: I aren't close to any extended family members, but he

1316
00:56:35,920 --> 00:56:38,520
Speaker 2: has semi good relationships with his grandparents, so they came.

1317
00:56:38,600 --> 00:56:41,320
Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from the coolest being around.

1318
00:56:41,400 --> 00:56:43,080
Speaker 2: And if you want to submit your own stories, go

1319
00:56:43,120 --> 00:56:46,120
Speaker 2: to the r slash Okay Storytime subur Beautiful for reference.

1320
00:56:46,239 --> 00:56:48,400
Speaker 2: I am covered in tattoos and have a lot of

1321
00:56:48,400 --> 00:56:51,640
Speaker 2: facial piercings. My husband does not. His sister does, though.

1322
00:56:51,640 --> 00:56:55,960
Speaker 2: Funnily enough, grandparents are very old school religious, conservative Trump supporters,

1323
00:56:56,160 --> 00:56:58,239
Speaker 2: and I couldn't be more on the opposite end of

1324
00:56:58,239 --> 00:57:00,560
Speaker 2: the spectrum of their beliefs. One of the reasons we

1325
00:57:00,600 --> 00:57:02,920
Speaker 2: decided to have a small family wedding was because we

1326
00:57:02,960 --> 00:57:05,680
Speaker 2: have a lot of LGBTQ friends and a few gender

1327
00:57:05,680 --> 00:57:07,960
Speaker 2: diverse friends, and we could not in good faith put

1328
00:57:08,000 --> 00:57:10,880
Speaker 2: them in a situation where a very outspoken woman would

1329
00:57:10,880 --> 00:57:14,000
Speaker 2: totally say some terrible things to them. Grandma speaks her

1330
00:57:14,040 --> 00:57:16,680
Speaker 2: mind and has no filter. Let's just say that we

1331
00:57:16,840 --> 00:57:20,400
Speaker 2: dance this fine line during the planning of not wanting

1332
00:57:20,440 --> 00:57:23,240
Speaker 2: to cater to the wedding around two people everyone else

1333
00:57:23,280 --> 00:57:26,880
Speaker 2: invited does not share the same beliefs, but also being respectful,

1334
00:57:27,040 --> 00:57:31,439
Speaker 2: both families are funny, wacky and unserious, just super chill,

1335
00:57:31,560 --> 00:57:34,600
Speaker 2: cool people. Bunch of hippies and liberals. We had so

1336
00:57:34,720 --> 00:57:38,480
Speaker 2: many silly bits on our wedding that everyone loved. Above them,

1337
00:57:39,360 --> 00:57:40,640
Speaker 2: who cares your wedding day?

1338
00:57:40,640 --> 00:57:41,120
Speaker 1: Don't love it?

1339
00:57:41,640 --> 00:57:44,400
Speaker 2: Granny's angry and you don't want to make Granny angles.

1340
00:57:44,400 --> 00:57:46,680
Speaker 2: Oh God, Now, the first thing Grandma said to me

1341
00:57:46,720 --> 00:57:49,280
Speaker 2: after the ceremony, was I met your mother. I see

1342
00:57:49,280 --> 00:57:52,080
Speaker 2: where you get you're crazy from. It was said somewhat lighthearted,

1343
00:57:52,160 --> 00:57:55,600
Speaker 2: but it wasn't. It was someone else who overheard who

1344
00:57:55,640 --> 00:57:58,840
Speaker 2: said disrespecting the bride and the mother of the bride.

1345
00:57:58,560 --> 00:58:01,000
Speaker 1: Within seconds of the ceremony, and is wild.

1346
00:58:01,200 --> 00:58:04,120
Speaker 2: She said A very few other rude, passive, aggressive comments

1347
00:58:04,120 --> 00:58:06,760
Speaker 2: about me slashed the wedding that I was told afterwards.

1348
00:58:06,880 --> 00:58:08,320
Speaker 1: I swore a few times in the vows. It was

1349
00:58:08,320 --> 00:58:08,800
Speaker 1: not intentional.

1350
00:58:08,880 --> 00:58:10,480
Speaker 2: I was just nervous how they came out, which is

1351
00:58:10,600 --> 00:58:12,600
Speaker 2: so not a big deal to either of our families,

1352
00:58:12,640 --> 00:58:16,680
Speaker 2: but grandparents were furious. Our officiator emphasized our beliefs in science,

1353
00:58:16,720 --> 00:58:19,120
Speaker 2: parallel universes and infinity.

1354
00:58:18,640 --> 00:58:19,760
Speaker 1: In the cosmos.

1355
00:58:19,960 --> 00:58:22,560
Speaker 2: That's funny, I think interstellar, quoting Carl Sagan and all

1356
00:58:22,600 --> 00:58:25,560
Speaker 2: that jazz. I know that they didn't like that. I

1357
00:58:25,640 --> 00:58:27,400
Speaker 2: also made a point when we thanked the guests for

1358
00:58:27,440 --> 00:58:30,080
Speaker 2: coming after the speeches, when my husband said, you know,

1359
00:58:30,280 --> 00:58:32,240
Speaker 2: we don't believe in that divine stuff.

1360
00:58:31,920 --> 00:58:34,000
Speaker 1: But it's magical how everything came together.

1361
00:58:34,160 --> 00:58:37,080
Speaker 2: It was supposed to storm ended up being a perfect day,

1362
00:58:37,160 --> 00:58:40,440
Speaker 2: et cetera, et cetera, and I took the mic and said, yeah,

1363
00:58:40,520 --> 00:58:43,640
Speaker 2: we believe in science. Sure at that point that truly

1364
00:58:43,720 --> 00:58:47,800
Speaker 2: wasn't necessary and an intentional dig but Grandpa scoffed super loud,

1365
00:58:47,920 --> 00:58:51,440
Speaker 2: and I was just so over it. Yea, Honestly, I'm like,

1366
00:58:51,600 --> 00:58:52,959
Speaker 2: why did we invite them to the wedding?

1367
00:58:53,000 --> 00:58:56,800
Speaker 1: It seems like everyone else it was obligation. Yeah, yeah,

1368
00:58:57,440 --> 00:58:59,240
Speaker 1: you know, this is their last wedding. We got a

1369
00:58:59,560 --> 00:59:02,880
Speaker 1: you know, the the clock is ticking on alms and

1370
00:59:02,920 --> 00:59:05,240
Speaker 1: their tickers are ticking. Oh goodness. Hey, you know, maybe

1371
00:59:05,280 --> 00:59:09,280
Speaker 1: if you make it as a crazy enough wedding vow goodness,

1372
00:59:09,360 --> 00:59:11,240
Speaker 1: they might you know, you might eliminate a problem.

1373
00:59:11,320 --> 00:59:15,720
Speaker 2: ProDance alert from life alert to inheritance alert. Post wedding,

1374
00:59:15,840 --> 00:59:17,920
Speaker 2: my husband is conflicted. He wants me to have a

1375
00:59:17,960 --> 00:59:21,360
Speaker 2: relationship with his grandparents, especially his grandma, and I've told him,

1376
00:59:21,400 --> 00:59:23,800
Speaker 2: if it wasn't clear before, that her and I mutually

1377
00:59:23,840 --> 00:59:26,560
Speaker 2: don't like each other, and it's clear now. Grandparents are

1378
00:59:26,560 --> 00:59:29,360
Speaker 2: in town until tomorrow, and they invited just my husband

1379
00:59:29,360 --> 00:59:31,280
Speaker 2: out to dinner tonight, and I can't help but think

1380
00:59:31,400 --> 00:59:33,920
Speaker 2: they're gonna send him down and say something about spending

1381
00:59:34,040 --> 00:59:36,480
Speaker 2: his life with me. Sure, I was being disrespectful, but

1382
00:59:36,560 --> 00:59:39,040
Speaker 2: she was too. I told him that beyond just being

1383
00:59:39,040 --> 00:59:42,840
Speaker 2: his grandparents, I am the exact version of someone conservative, religious,

1384
00:59:42,840 --> 00:59:43,600
Speaker 2: Trump supporters to.

1385
00:59:43,600 --> 00:59:45,720
Speaker 1: Spies, and I'm okay with that. I'm not everyone's cup

1386
00:59:45,760 --> 00:59:46,000
Speaker 1: of tea.

1387
00:59:46,040 --> 00:59:48,040
Speaker 2: I understand why he wants us to like each other,

1388
00:59:48,120 --> 00:59:50,800
Speaker 2: but it's just not gonna happen. I know this post

1389
00:59:50,840 --> 00:59:53,240
Speaker 2: will start some stuff, especially with people that are right wing,

1390
00:59:53,240 --> 00:59:54,880
Speaker 2: and that's not the point of this post. It's just

1391
00:59:54,960 --> 00:59:57,200
Speaker 2: a rant about how two people force together due to

1392
00:59:57,240 --> 01:00:00,280
Speaker 2: marriage despite everything about what the other ones stand on for.

1393
01:00:00,640 --> 01:00:02,400
Speaker 1: I wish I could be a fly on the wall

1394
01:00:02,440 --> 01:00:02,880
Speaker 1: with their.

1395
01:00:02,720 --> 01:00:05,840
Speaker 2: Dinner tonight, and I know my husband will not tell

1396
01:00:05,880 --> 01:00:08,440
Speaker 2: me all that was said to protect my feelings.

1397
01:00:08,560 --> 01:00:11,040
Speaker 1: We haven't edit. Holy Cannoli, this post blew up.

1398
01:00:11,080 --> 01:00:12,680
Speaker 2: I showed it to my husband and he agreed with

1399
01:00:12,720 --> 01:00:15,160
Speaker 2: everyone and said it's not right for him to expect

1400
01:00:15,240 --> 01:00:17,600
Speaker 2: us to have a relationship and forced me to compromise

1401
01:00:17,680 --> 01:00:18,200
Speaker 2: my morals.

1402
01:00:18,320 --> 01:00:20,480
Speaker 1: After the dinner, I got the full scoop.

1403
01:00:20,760 --> 01:00:24,000
Speaker 2: Husband asks his mom how long grandma and Grandpa will

1404
01:00:24,000 --> 01:00:25,680
Speaker 2: be in town for if they said one more day,

1405
01:00:25,720 --> 01:00:27,200
Speaker 2: and husband said that I want to see them one

1406
01:00:27,200 --> 01:00:30,280
Speaker 2: more time Mom said let's do dinner, my name wasn't

1407
01:00:30,320 --> 01:00:32,080
Speaker 2: explicitly brought up or.

1408
01:00:32,120 --> 01:00:32,840
Speaker 1: Not brought up.

1409
01:00:32,920 --> 01:00:35,200
Speaker 2: And I'm happy about that because now I don't have

1410
01:00:35,240 --> 01:00:37,680
Speaker 2: to come up with an excuse not to go, because

1411
01:00:37,800 --> 01:00:40,440
Speaker 2: no way in f would I go. I'm not offended

1412
01:00:40,480 --> 01:00:43,520
Speaker 2: in the slightest. Seriously, does this post not show how

1413
01:00:43,560 --> 01:00:45,000
Speaker 2: much I don't want to spend time with them?

1414
01:00:45,040 --> 01:00:45,320
Speaker 1: Loll?

1415
01:00:45,480 --> 01:00:47,280
Speaker 2: Husband said he is going to make it clear to

1416
01:00:47,320 --> 01:00:49,440
Speaker 2: them to stop disrespecting me, and I believe him.

1417
01:00:49,480 --> 01:00:51,240
Speaker 1: So we've got, you know, husband kind of.

1418
01:00:51,240 --> 01:00:53,960
Speaker 2: Being like, hey, like yeah, let me, you know, make

1419
01:00:54,000 --> 01:00:56,360
Speaker 2: sure that they're not like digging on you and stuff

1420
01:00:56,360 --> 01:00:58,880
Speaker 2: like that, and it seems seems like we're getting getting

1421
01:00:58,920 --> 01:01:01,800
Speaker 2: some good little learnings here. Husband is also a leftist too,

1422
01:01:01,960 --> 01:01:05,440
Speaker 2: but has the big old grandma confliction. Like many Trump supporters,

1423
01:01:05,480 --> 01:01:07,760
Speaker 2: they always felt to those feelings, but only recently were

1424
01:01:07,760 --> 01:01:10,520
Speaker 2: given the okay by having President to be houred about them,

1425
01:01:10,600 --> 01:01:12,200
Speaker 2: so it's been really hard for him to come to

1426
01:01:12,320 --> 01:01:14,760
Speaker 2: terms with it. I don't remember the subreddit, but I

1427
01:01:14,880 --> 01:01:17,360
Speaker 2: know there's one on here about the true grieving and

1428
01:01:17,400 --> 01:01:20,120
Speaker 2: trauma of losing a family member to MAGA. Considering my

1429
01:01:20,320 --> 01:01:22,479
Speaker 2: entire family is left extended as well. I have zero

1430
01:01:22,480 --> 01:01:24,360
Speaker 2: frame of reference for that, he feels. I say, if

1431
01:01:24,360 --> 01:01:26,640
Speaker 2: anyone in the family wants to be in the colts,

1432
01:01:26,680 --> 01:01:27,560
Speaker 2: I would cut them out.

1433
01:01:27,760 --> 01:01:29,360
Speaker 1: But that's easy for me to say.

1434
01:01:29,440 --> 01:01:31,800
Speaker 2: I straight up called Grandma a witch yesterday and he

1435
01:01:31,880 --> 01:01:32,520
Speaker 2: got upset.

1436
01:01:32,840 --> 01:01:36,200
Speaker 1: Whoa op? Oh, hold on, are we are.

1437
01:01:36,080 --> 01:01:40,960
Speaker 2: We tiptoeing closer and closer into a whole territory over here.

1438
01:01:41,120 --> 01:01:44,640
Speaker 1: It's just like they're old people like just I don't know.

1439
01:01:44,760 --> 01:01:48,640
Speaker 1: Just again, it causes more drama to go say Granny's

1440
01:01:48,640 --> 01:01:50,600
Speaker 1: an a hole than it does to just ignore and

1441
01:01:50,640 --> 01:01:50,960
Speaker 1: move on.

1442
01:01:51,160 --> 01:01:53,320
Speaker 2: He said, yeah, she can say witchy things, but don't

1443
01:01:53,360 --> 01:01:55,440
Speaker 2: call it. After showing him the post and the comments,

1444
01:01:55,480 --> 01:01:57,720
Speaker 2: I think I finally got it through to him that, truly,

1445
01:01:57,760 --> 01:01:59,800
Speaker 2: anyone who believes in the hoard things Trump.

1446
01:01:59,520 --> 01:02:01,400
Speaker 1: Done is not a nice person objectively.

1447
01:02:01,800 --> 01:02:03,640
Speaker 2: Last thing, I know, everyone on Reddit is quick to

1448
01:02:03,680 --> 01:02:05,880
Speaker 2: jump on the divorce your spouse they're a bad person train.

1449
01:02:06,160 --> 01:02:09,440
Speaker 2: But come on, y'all, I get it he needs to

1450
01:02:09,520 --> 01:02:11,800
Speaker 2: grow a backbone in this. But to say our marriage

1451
01:02:11,840 --> 01:02:14,320
Speaker 2: is doomed from the start is wild. Y'all know about

1452
01:02:14,560 --> 01:02:17,720
Speaker 2: point zero zero five percent of our twelve year relationship

1453
01:02:17,720 --> 01:02:19,840
Speaker 2: at a number two guys, I don't want to go

1454
01:02:19,840 --> 01:02:21,320
Speaker 2: out to eat with them. I don't know how much

1455
01:02:21,320 --> 01:02:23,160
Speaker 2: clear I can be about it. Husband knows I don't

1456
01:02:23,160 --> 01:02:25,320
Speaker 2: want to go. Me going would mean he'd be forcing

1457
01:02:25,360 --> 01:02:27,200
Speaker 2: me to go, which he isn't doing because he knows

1458
01:02:27,240 --> 01:02:28,800
Speaker 2: I don't want to. For love of God, I can't

1459
01:02:28,800 --> 01:02:30,720
Speaker 2: believe people can read this whole thing and think I'm

1460
01:02:30,720 --> 01:02:33,400
Speaker 2: offended that I wasn't invited, or that it's somehow.

1461
01:02:33,120 --> 01:02:35,040
Speaker 1: Wrong that my husband didn't bring me. Lol.

1462
01:02:35,120 --> 01:02:39,760
Speaker 2: And we've got some relevant and top comments commentation Number one,

1463
01:02:39,840 --> 01:02:43,000
Speaker 2: politics are morals? Your husband is demanding you compromise yours

1464
01:02:43,000 --> 01:02:44,680
Speaker 2: for the sake of his grandmother and not demanding the

1465
01:02:44,680 --> 01:02:47,480
Speaker 2: same of her. Why, Obie says, Dang, it's a really

1466
01:02:47,520 --> 01:02:49,919
Speaker 2: really good point. After a few years, I finally shut

1467
01:02:50,000 --> 01:02:52,080
Speaker 2: him down from what he and his siblings say they're

1468
01:02:52,080 --> 01:02:54,959
Speaker 2: from a different time. When I finally snapped and said,

1469
01:02:55,080 --> 01:02:57,760
Speaker 2: my ninety two year old grandma voted for both Reagan

1470
01:02:57,800 --> 01:02:58,440
Speaker 2: and Obama.

1471
01:02:58,720 --> 01:03:01,200
Speaker 1: The longer you're alive, says you have for not growing

1472
01:03:01,240 --> 01:03:04,840
Speaker 1: up and changing your morals. Opie's laying it down. Commage

1473
01:03:04,840 --> 01:03:06,560
Speaker 1: to number two says your husband needs to stick up

1474
01:03:06,560 --> 01:03:08,640
Speaker 1: for you. Compage a. Number three says husband needs to

1475
01:03:08,640 --> 01:03:09,400
Speaker 1: be stepping up here.

1476
01:03:09,520 --> 01:03:12,440
Speaker 2: He should ask outright why his new wife isn't invited.

1477
01:03:12,640 --> 01:03:14,920
Speaker 2: He needs to shut that crap all the way down,

1478
01:03:15,040 --> 01:03:17,320
Speaker 2: whether you attend or not. And come to number four

1479
01:03:17,360 --> 01:03:18,920
Speaker 2: says why are you not going to the dinner? Why

1480
01:03:18,960 --> 01:03:20,920
Speaker 2: is the husband not saying? You should slash can goo

1481
01:03:21,120 --> 01:03:23,320
Speaker 2: tag along and have a husband act surprised that you

1482
01:03:23,320 --> 01:03:26,360
Speaker 2: weren't invited. But Grandma, you said I wasn't invited and

1483
01:03:26,400 --> 01:03:28,120
Speaker 2: said you were taking me out for dinner. We are

1484
01:03:28,160 --> 01:03:30,880
Speaker 2: now one, so I included my bride. Of course she came,

1485
01:03:30,920 --> 01:03:33,560
Speaker 2: we're newlyweds. Why wouldn't you be included? Two became one.

1486
01:03:33,640 --> 01:03:36,280
Speaker 2: Remember we are cleaved together. Where I go, she goes,

1487
01:03:36,320 --> 01:03:38,040
Speaker 2: where she goes I go. He should be standing up

1488
01:03:38,040 --> 01:03:41,040
Speaker 2: for you. No dinner with grandma without the wife. Wife

1489
01:03:41,120 --> 01:03:43,160
Speaker 2: comes first. Unfortunately, looks like this is going to be

1490
01:03:43,160 --> 01:03:45,440
Speaker 2: your first married test slash lession and it'll be a

1491
01:03:45,480 --> 01:03:47,600
Speaker 2: hard one. I'm sorry, op I hope your husband stands

1492
01:03:47,680 --> 01:03:49,760
Speaker 2: up for you and the marriage. We have an update,

1493
01:03:49,960 --> 01:03:53,840
Speaker 2: but I feel like Opie literally said like sometimes the

1494
01:03:53,920 --> 01:03:56,760
Speaker 2: universe throws your bone and they're like, hey, they don't

1495
01:03:56,760 --> 01:03:58,920
Speaker 2: want to invite me. I don't want to go, and

1496
01:03:59,000 --> 01:04:00,360
Speaker 2: Opie's like okay, like.

1497
01:04:00,440 --> 01:04:02,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, but and I don't like these coms of like

1498
01:04:02,760 --> 01:04:06,120
Speaker 1: no you should go, Like like why, yeah, he doesn't

1499
01:04:06,160 --> 01:04:08,000
Speaker 1: want to go? Yeah, I don't. I don't. I don't

1500
01:04:08,040 --> 01:04:11,360
Speaker 1: get that. I don't get that. I think every everything

1501
01:04:11,400 --> 01:04:14,720
Speaker 1: that I'm seeing about this family is give them space,

1502
01:04:14,800 --> 01:04:17,840
Speaker 1: and maybe the husband should also his side of the

1503
01:04:17,840 --> 01:04:20,520
Speaker 1: family a little space too. Yeah, didn't expect this to

1504
01:04:20,520 --> 01:04:23,280
Speaker 1: blow up a YadA YadA all that stuff, but seriously lol.

1505
01:04:23,520 --> 01:04:26,880
Speaker 2: Thankfully Grandma doesn't use Reddit, so he won't see it.

1506
01:04:26,960 --> 01:04:30,800
Speaker 2: Go there we go, baby, Like I said in the

1507
01:04:30,800 --> 01:04:32,800
Speaker 2: and it's of the original post. Even if I wasn't

1508
01:04:32,800 --> 01:04:34,960
Speaker 2: invited to the dinner, I wouldn't go, which is why

1509
01:04:35,000 --> 01:04:37,000
Speaker 2: my husband never pushed the issue with them or me.

1510
01:04:37,360 --> 01:04:40,240
Speaker 2: It saved me an excuse and excuse I already had

1511
01:04:40,280 --> 01:04:43,000
Speaker 2: because I genuinely had dungeons and dragons last night when

1512
01:04:43,000 --> 01:04:44,840
Speaker 2: they went out. Didn't feel the need to include that

1513
01:04:44,880 --> 01:04:47,040
Speaker 2: because I didn't think that was the points everyone would

1514
01:04:47,080 --> 01:04:50,320
Speaker 2: get hung up on. But our campaign played online, so

1515
01:04:50,440 --> 01:04:52,600
Speaker 2: I was home when they picked my husband up evidently.

1516
01:04:52,680 --> 01:04:55,480
Speaker 2: They immediately asked where I was. Husband said, you never

1517
01:04:55,560 --> 01:05:00,320
Speaker 2: explicitly invited her. They said they thought it was implied. Whatever. Again,

1518
01:05:00,400 --> 01:05:02,680
Speaker 2: I didn't want to go. Plus I was busy already,

1519
01:05:02,760 --> 01:05:05,080
Speaker 2: So they came back and I was still playing Dungeons

1520
01:05:05,080 --> 01:05:07,360
Speaker 2: and Dragons. Husband comes in and asks if I can

1521
01:05:07,400 --> 01:05:10,240
Speaker 2: take a steck to step outside. They wanted to say goodbye,

1522
01:05:10,440 --> 01:05:13,040
Speaker 2: Q to the biggest hug from both of them, followed

1523
01:05:13,040 --> 01:05:15,680
Speaker 2: by what they should have said at the wedding, but

1524
01:05:15,760 --> 01:05:18,800
Speaker 2: I guess better late than never. It was so amazing,

1525
01:05:18,880 --> 01:05:22,720
Speaker 2: beautiful ceremony. You looked stunning, et cetera, et cetera.

1526
01:05:22,920 --> 01:05:25,720
Speaker 1: People can come around. We're finally here, granny.

1527
01:05:25,920 --> 01:05:30,000
Speaker 2: Granny has taken her walker and shuffled around the block

1528
01:05:30,040 --> 01:05:32,520
Speaker 2: and is finally turning the up to the other side.

1529
01:05:32,600 --> 01:05:35,960
Speaker 1: Learning can always happen there. We go to see. Yes.

1530
01:05:36,040 --> 01:05:38,320
Speaker 2: Grandma then took my hand and said, I hope you

1531
01:05:38,400 --> 01:05:40,440
Speaker 2: know I wasn't offended by any of the swearing, and

1532
01:05:40,480 --> 01:05:42,760
Speaker 2: I hope I didn't come across that way. I loved

1533
01:05:42,760 --> 01:05:46,360
Speaker 2: your ceremony in vows. Okay, wow. They immediately followed by

1534
01:05:46,480 --> 01:05:49,440
Speaker 2: I should have said wacky about your mom, not crazy heck,

1535
01:05:49,600 --> 01:05:50,320
Speaker 2: I'm crazy.

1536
01:05:50,400 --> 01:05:51,560
Speaker 1: I didn't mean it in a bad way.

1537
01:05:51,640 --> 01:05:53,960
Speaker 2: Your mom is a character, same with your father. I

1538
01:05:53,960 --> 01:05:57,120
Speaker 2: see where you get your sparkle from. I was shocked,

1539
01:05:57,200 --> 01:06:00,000
Speaker 2: but smiled and nodded. She gave me another big hug.

1540
01:06:00,080 --> 01:06:03,040
Speaker 2: Go back inside. Immediately asked my husband what the f.

1541
01:06:03,400 --> 01:06:06,160
Speaker 2: He didn't tell me what he said, but he said

1542
01:06:06,200 --> 01:06:10,080
Speaker 2: he laid it down pretty effing clearly about how crappy

1543
01:06:10,120 --> 01:06:12,920
Speaker 2: what they did was, and how moving forward they cannot

1544
01:06:12,920 --> 01:06:16,240
Speaker 2: disrespect our beliefs like that that's.

1545
01:06:16,160 --> 01:06:17,680
Speaker 1: Go okay.

1546
01:06:19,560 --> 01:06:23,880
Speaker 2: For wifey oh yes, and if they wanted a relationship

1547
01:06:23,880 --> 01:06:26,040
Speaker 2: with him, that was the bottom line.

1548
01:06:26,640 --> 01:06:29,520
Speaker 1: I told dude, I was waiting for this moment.

1549
01:06:29,560 --> 01:06:32,640
Speaker 2: I also wouldn't be surprised if their daughter, mother in law,

1550
01:06:32,800 --> 01:06:35,920
Speaker 2: hippie liberal cool also yelled at them. It really hurts

1551
01:06:35,920 --> 01:06:38,840
Speaker 2: how many people were crapping on my husband in that post.

1552
01:06:39,120 --> 01:06:41,600
Speaker 2: It was a Monday night after work after a small

1553
01:06:41,760 --> 01:06:45,200
Speaker 2: DIY wedding. He wasn't leaving his new bride side in

1554
01:06:45,280 --> 01:06:47,760
Speaker 2: some grandiose offensive way like come on.

1555
01:06:47,800 --> 01:06:49,960
Speaker 1: Y'all are so dramatic. Well, one of the reasons I.

1556
01:06:49,920 --> 01:06:52,160
Speaker 2: Married this man was that he's not the type to

1557
01:06:52,200 --> 01:06:54,560
Speaker 2: cause a scene especially at a big day, knowing how

1558
01:06:54,640 --> 01:06:57,560
Speaker 2: Grandma is. Even if he took her aside during the wedding,

1559
01:06:57,600 --> 01:06:59,880
Speaker 2: it would have caused a ruckus. I knew it would

1560
01:06:59,920 --> 01:07:02,960
Speaker 2: be handled and it was. Dude, this is what great

1561
01:07:03,040 --> 01:07:05,480
Speaker 2: trust in a in a partnership and relationship like.

1562
01:07:05,560 --> 01:07:07,680
Speaker 1: She's like, oh, I know you got it, so I'm not.

1563
01:07:07,760 --> 01:07:09,880
Speaker 2: I'm not, I'm not worried in this, in this awesome

1564
01:07:09,920 --> 01:07:13,640
Speaker 2: dude and fully delivered, big wully delivered. When I hope

1565
01:07:13,720 --> 01:07:16,200
Speaker 2: everyone reads that edits and saw why deep down and

1566
01:07:16,240 --> 01:07:19,400
Speaker 2: originally made my husband sad. He is having difficulty coming

1567
01:07:19,400 --> 01:07:22,160
Speaker 2: to terms with finding out whose grandparents truly are. They

1568
01:07:22,200 --> 01:07:24,880
Speaker 2: never were outward of their bigotry before a certain president

1569
01:07:24,880 --> 01:07:27,240
Speaker 2: made it okay to do so. I was wrong calling

1570
01:07:27,280 --> 01:07:29,400
Speaker 2: his grandma a witch to his face. I was hurt

1571
01:07:29,440 --> 01:07:31,640
Speaker 2: and he knew that, but it was a low blow.

1572
01:07:31,680 --> 01:07:32,600
Speaker 2: He's no longer sad.

1573
01:07:32,840 --> 01:07:33,360
Speaker 1: He gets it.

1574
01:07:33,480 --> 01:07:35,920
Speaker 2: He also knows that her apology, whether real or not,

1575
01:07:36,080 --> 01:07:38,680
Speaker 2: doesn't mean I'm going to have a relationship necessarily with

1576
01:07:38,720 --> 01:07:43,600
Speaker 2: her and Grandpa. By the way, what you are legally

1577
01:07:43,640 --> 01:07:46,640
Speaker 2: obligated by law to have a relationship with us and

1578
01:07:46,840 --> 01:07:50,760
Speaker 2: to spend as much earhole time with us as humanly possible.

1579
01:07:50,840 --> 01:07:52,720
Speaker 2: The best way to do that is go to Spotify,

1580
01:07:52,760 --> 01:07:55,680
Speaker 2: Apple iHeart and search Okay story time and listen to

1581
01:07:55,760 --> 01:07:57,760
Speaker 2: our two thousand episode catalog.

1582
01:07:58,000 --> 01:08:01,760
Speaker 1: Samuel. Any final thought before we get into this final chapter.

1583
01:08:01,800 --> 01:08:07,280
Speaker 1: I'm glad that Hubby finally stood up and said no, yeah, yeah,

1584
01:08:07,800 --> 01:08:09,600
Speaker 1: it was about Darnheim.

1585
01:08:09,160 --> 01:08:12,040
Speaker 2: And I love how both sides kind of came to

1586
01:08:12,080 --> 01:08:14,840
Speaker 2: the table and was like, hey, let me like, you know,

1587
01:08:15,080 --> 01:08:17,400
Speaker 2: appreciate you and I you know essentially kind of like

1588
01:08:17,640 --> 01:08:20,800
Speaker 2: apologize and try to be empathetic. And then OPI was like, yeah,

1589
01:08:20,840 --> 01:08:22,519
Speaker 2: you know, same here, like I shouldn't have said this,

1590
01:08:22,720 --> 01:08:25,599
Speaker 2: Like just a really cool kind of like coming together

1591
01:08:26,160 --> 01:08:29,439
Speaker 2: and you know, seeing the other person and deploying a

1592
01:08:29,439 --> 01:08:30,680
Speaker 2: lot of kindness.

1593
01:08:30,800 --> 01:08:32,040
Speaker 1: We love kindness.

1594
01:08:32,120 --> 01:08:35,400
Speaker 2: So one last thing, we didn't invite any friends to

1595
01:08:35,439 --> 01:08:38,320
Speaker 2: the wedding, just my bff, the officiatet. Like I said

1596
01:08:38,320 --> 01:08:40,240
Speaker 2: in the post, they were multiple reasons we did a

1597
01:08:40,280 --> 01:08:44,080
Speaker 2: small family only wedding, only one of them being not

1598
01:08:44,240 --> 01:08:47,599
Speaker 2: bringing our LGBTQ friends around them. There were other more

1599
01:08:47,640 --> 01:08:50,880
Speaker 2: important reasons, including when you have a small, relatively easy

1600
01:08:50,880 --> 01:08:53,920
Speaker 2: wedding asap due to my father's ailing health, other reasons.

1601
01:08:53,960 --> 01:08:56,439
Speaker 2: I don't really want to mention we didn't solely plan

1602
01:08:56,560 --> 01:09:00,759
Speaker 2: our wedding. Guest invites catered around the grandparents. Quick relevant

1603
01:09:00,800 --> 01:09:01,519
Speaker 2: top comments coming.

1604
01:09:01,600 --> 01:09:01,920
Speaker 1: Number one.

1605
01:09:02,000 --> 01:09:04,040
Speaker 2: Hey, I'm asking out of curiosity why it took twelve

1606
01:09:04,080 --> 01:09:07,519
Speaker 2: years to marry. Are you guys are really young? Opie says, yes,

1607
01:09:07,560 --> 01:09:09,920
Speaker 2: we met very young. We weren't in a huge rush

1608
01:09:09,960 --> 01:09:12,320
Speaker 2: to get married either. My father's health started declining, so

1609
01:09:12,400 --> 01:09:14,360
Speaker 2: we decided to finally tie the nut.

1610
01:09:14,400 --> 01:09:15,280
Speaker 1: Com To number two.

1611
01:09:15,360 --> 01:09:17,640
Speaker 2: Now it's time to have a barbecue and celebrate with

1612
01:09:17,760 --> 01:09:20,680
Speaker 2: all your friends, Opie said, that's the plan, doing a

1613
01:09:20,720 --> 01:09:24,160
Speaker 2: friend's only shitten dig in January. Plus, I'm hosting a

1614
01:09:24,200 --> 01:09:28,439
Speaker 2: Dungeons and Dragons game as my all digits included bachelorette party.

1615
01:09:28,680 --> 01:09:31,360
Speaker 1: You wood woot. Comge number three glad how you read

1616
01:09:31,360 --> 01:09:31,960
Speaker 1: the riot Act?

1617
01:09:32,120 --> 01:09:34,479
Speaker 2: It seems have a wonderful marriage and commat Number four

1618
01:09:34,520 --> 01:09:37,040
Speaker 2: says your husband handled it perfectly. I know you never

1619
01:09:37,080 --> 01:09:39,280
Speaker 2: doubted him, not once. My prediction is you will go

1620
01:09:39,360 --> 01:09:40,720
Speaker 2: the distance and thanks for shit.

1621
01:09:40,880 --> 01:09:42,720
Speaker 1: Love it. I love love a lot of great things here.

1622
01:09:42,720 --> 01:09:45,280
Speaker 1: I love love, love, love, man love. We love it.

1623
01:09:45,560 --> 01:09:48,559
Speaker 1: When you love it, it's a great thing. Oh okay, well,

1624
01:09:48,720 --> 01:09:50,479
Speaker 1: I feel like we're in a lot better place than

1625
01:09:50,520 --> 01:09:50,920
Speaker 1: we started.

1626
01:09:51,120 --> 01:09:54,519
Speaker 2: I agree, I love a lot, a lot of amazing

1627
01:09:54,600 --> 01:09:55,920
Speaker 2: lessons learned along the way.

1628
01:09:56,040 --> 01:09:57,000
Speaker 1: That's where that story ends.