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Speaker 1: Go one eight hundred dy away. We'll go to one

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Speaker 1: eight hundred d yaway dot com. A great defense can

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Speaker 1: be the difference between a dismiss case or jail time.

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Speaker 1: What eight hundred dy away? Tex one X presents the

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Speaker 1: ten phone taps of Christmas. Hello, Hi, I was looking

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Speaker 1: to speak with mister Roger Money. Yeah, this is him.

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Speaker 1: Who's calling? Well, Hi, Roger, my name is Phil mccrevis.

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Speaker 1: I'm calling from Blockbuster Video. How are you today? What

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Speaker 1: Blockbuster Video? Yep, Blockbuster Video doesn't exist. Name when you

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Speaker 1: guys got a business? Well, yeah, that's true. The company

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Speaker 1: did file for bankruptcy a few years back, and almost

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Speaker 1: every location has closed down except for this one. We're

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Speaker 1: still here, alive and kicking in bend. Organ. Okay, I

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Speaker 1: bet you thought you'd gotten away with it too. Huh,

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Speaker 1: you degenerate money mean gotten away with it? What are

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Speaker 1: you talking about? I'm talking about stealing our movie, sir. Well,

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Speaker 1: I haven't stolen your movie, so I don't know what. Okay,

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Speaker 1: all right, how about we go for a jog real quick.

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Speaker 1: Let's jog your memory. I'm talking about February of twenty thirteen.

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Speaker 1: You rented Saving Private Ryan on VHS. Does that ring

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Speaker 1: a bell? Maybe I don't remember. What does it have

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Speaker 1: to do with anything? Well? You did, okay, I did? Wow,

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Speaker 1: a lot of people ranting movies back then, and I'm

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Speaker 1: calling to inform you that it is officially late. And

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Speaker 1: as for our late return policy, it's a dollar for

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Speaker 1: each day after the due date. So you owe us

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Speaker 1: two thousand, four hundred and thirty eight dollars in latenes

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Speaker 1: what two thousand dollars for a movie? Two four hundred

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Speaker 1: and thirty eight dollars to be exact. So would you

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Speaker 1: like how much it is? So it's ridiculous? Would you

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Speaker 1: like to send us a check? Or would you prefer

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Speaker 1: to pay you a credit card? I can take your

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Speaker 1: information over the phone. If you're calling me about a

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Speaker 1: movie that I supposedly rented years back, and even charging

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Speaker 1: the fees and now you want me to pay, well,

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Speaker 1: we've been going through all of our records and trying

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Speaker 1: to locate our missing inventory and recover any stolen goods,

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Speaker 1: and frankly, we need that movie back saving private right,

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Speaker 1: don't have it, so you're out of LUF. Okay, So

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Speaker 1: now you're telling me you don't have it, So I'm

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Speaker 1: going to tack on another twenty five dollars on top

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Speaker 1: of that two thousand four yarns, tack on all you

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Speaker 1: watch not giving two thousand whatever dollars from a movie

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Speaker 1: that I don't even remember renting. Well, if we're not

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Speaker 1: gonna pay, then we'll have to report you to collections,

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Speaker 1: and I'm going to send one of our employees out

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Speaker 1: to come repossess it from you. You're going to fly

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Speaker 1: out an employee all the way here in order to

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Speaker 1: get a movie back. Yeah, oh, this is saying, Well,

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Speaker 1: it's not just any movie, sir, it's saving private Ryan,

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Speaker 1: Tom Hanks, Matt Damon, Vin Diesel. It's a classic. Oh

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Speaker 1: you've stolen birth. Look, your stores are shut down. I

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Speaker 1: just figured once it's shut down, you don't need it back. Okay,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna read making excuses, sir. It's called theft, and newsflash,

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Speaker 1: it's illegal. I am not a thief. I'm still your movie. Okay.

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Speaker 1: So this is why your company went over is because

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Speaker 1: of policies like this. You don't even understand where your

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Speaker 1: own inventory is and now you're just cleaning so the

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Speaker 1: customers at fault look that you try. Your company went under. Okay,

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Speaker 1: we can do this the easy way, or we can

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Speaker 1: do this the hard way. It's your choice. There is

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Speaker 1: no easier heardway. This is ridiculous. There's gonna be no

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Speaker 1: way to do that. Let me just say this. The

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Speaker 1: last guy who refused to pay their late fee had

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Speaker 1: his house burned down. You think that's a coincidence. Probably, right.

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Speaker 1: You're threatening me now, you're threatening my own, my home,

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Speaker 1: my livelihood by light. No. No, I'm just saying it's

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Speaker 1: bad luck. Maybe Blockbuster karma got him so bad luck,

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Speaker 1: don't even bring it. Okay, I'll call the police right now.

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Speaker 1: I'll call the police right now. On you call the FBI.

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Speaker 1: I'll call the FBI on you. I'm calling on you.

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Speaker 1: I'm calling on you. I'm calling on you. I'm calling

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Speaker 1: on you. I'm calling you right now. Oh well, you're

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Speaker 1: on the phone with me right now, so you're obviously

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Speaker 1: not calling right now. Listen, this has gotten a little

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Speaker 1: bit out of hand, and I suggest that you do

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Speaker 1: the right thing. You return the movie and of course

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Speaker 1: rewind it before you do. Okay, you're getting anything from me,

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Speaker 1: because I have nothing to give. You send the movie

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Speaker 1: back and remember to be kind. Rewind mother, Would you

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Speaker 1: just say to me, I said, be kind, rewind you

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Speaker 1: think just because I work at Blockbuster, I won't cut you.

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Speaker 1: What in the world I work at the last Listen

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Speaker 1: to me, I work at the last Blockbuster on Earth.

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Speaker 1: You know what I've had to do to keep this

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Speaker 1: business going. I'm loco and I want my movie back. You.

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Speaker 1: You can't talk to me like that. I'm a man

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Speaker 1: at the end of my rope. You don't want to

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Speaker 1: know what I'll do to collect my late fees. I

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Speaker 1: have your address on file. I know where you live.

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Speaker 1: I will fly to your house, break up your marriage,

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Speaker 1: marry your wife, and adopt your kids, Ryan and Carly,

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Speaker 1: and then I'll take them to Disney World where we'll

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Speaker 1: all share a scone. Is that what you want, Roger?

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Speaker 1: Because I'll do it. Do you want me to create

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Speaker 1: lifetime memories with your family? I'll do it yourself. How

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Speaker 1: do you know my kids' names? Your psycho? Oh? Because

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Speaker 1: your wife told me. That's how What what do you

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Speaker 1: mean my wife told you? Because this is actually Jewel

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Speaker 1: from Brook and Jewel in the morning doing a phone

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Speaker 1: tap on you and your wife set you up? What

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Speaker 1: are you talking about? It's a joke. What's a joke,

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Speaker 1: this whole thing. She says that you guys found an

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Speaker 1: old VHS tape in your closet and she thought it'd

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Speaker 1: be funny to prank you about it. Oh my god, no,

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Speaker 1: my wife did. Yeah. Well, really, you did it to

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Speaker 1: yourself by not returning that video. Way back in the head,

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Speaker 1: I thought you're su I started to freak out. You

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Speaker 1: shouldn't be freaked out. There is one more Blockbuster store left,

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Speaker 1: and now you're on their radar. I'd be scared. We'll

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Speaker 1: tell Blockbuster to bring it