WEBVTT - Episode 88: Don't Meth With Texas

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<v Speaker 1>Gambling was something that I did. This is Dan Patrick

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<v Speaker 1>takes a gamble. One of my bookies died at the

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<v Speaker 1>Kitchen Table, a podcast vehicle for Dan to talk about

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<v Speaker 1>his love of gambling. One bet, another bet, another bet

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<v Speaker 1>without doing the actual gambling.

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<v Speaker 2>You're a coward.

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<v Speaker 1>It's easy to have a scapegoat and now join my

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<v Speaker 1>bad Larry Shayan Irving and Dylan the graphics got I

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<v Speaker 1>have friends. Here's Dan Patrick. You have a beth, though

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<v Speaker 1>you have to pay it. So if the commanders lose

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<v Speaker 1>the Red River, oh, you have the Red River rivalry shootout,

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<v Speaker 1>not a shootout anymore, Danny. I know you're not allowed

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<v Speaker 1>to not allowed to say that.

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<v Speaker 2>Is a hilarious like tweaking, to be like this is tweaking.

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<v Speaker 1>Speaking of tweaking, it is Texas and ou so as

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<v Speaker 1>far as the meth goes, there's gonna be. Yeah, see

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<v Speaker 1>through shit. By the way, you uh, you didn't recover

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<v Speaker 1>from Dallas had to win and you could even come

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<v Speaker 1>on to talk about it this week. I was sick, Danny.

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<v Speaker 1>There's something going around the way. The weather's snapping. OK's

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<v Speaker 1>not my fault. I got a really good immune system.

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<v Speaker 1>I take care of myself. Body is a temple, all

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<v Speaker 1>that stuff. You can tell. Look at me. Yeah, still

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<v Speaker 1>not drinking, looking good, looking great, feeling great, looking good.

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<v Speaker 2>You're glowing.

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<v Speaker 1>Bad Larry there, pregnant, I'm here great, great, Hello, Dylan, goodbye.

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<v Speaker 1>Bad Larry lost a unit last week, Shay one five

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<v Speaker 1>up plus seven and Dylan didn't lose a unit. You're

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<v Speaker 1>plus fourteen, staying even. Okay, I like that. Any recaps here, anything,

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<v Speaker 1>anybody wants to mention. Notre Dame, Notre fucking Dame Danny. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>this is why I believe in God. This is why

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<v Speaker 1>y'all are all going to hell, because touchdown, Jesus came

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<v Speaker 1>through in the clutch and went for two. Daddy covered

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<v Speaker 1>freaking out of the house. The roommate couldn't understand. It's

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<v Speaker 1>like Notre Dame one, Notre Dame one. It was like, stop,

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<v Speaker 1>give no idea, what the hell you're talking about? Woman,

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<v Speaker 1>Shut your file hole. That's relevant day now there you. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>they won. More importantly, they covered a Yeah, bad Larry,

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<v Speaker 1>anything you want to recap.

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<v Speaker 3>We're not talking about the Ryder companymore. No, that was

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<v Speaker 3>at those points.

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<v Speaker 1>No, the comedies won.

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<v Speaker 2>We're not going to talk I think we.

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<v Speaker 3>Had Tommy one and McIlroy was the high point Communists.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I mean you do, but it not for the

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<v Speaker 1>football total. I mean we do acknowledge that you had

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<v Speaker 1>plus one hundred europe to win and Rory to be

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<v Speaker 1>a European's top score plus four fifty. Those aren't really

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<v Speaker 1>you know, great bets. Where he went on on a limb,

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<v Speaker 1>Larre plus four fifty, Yeah, there we go. It's Rory McElroy.

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<v Speaker 1>So it was either him or John Rahm, just.

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<v Speaker 2>Because he's the one name you can pronounce.

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<v Speaker 1>Larry. I don't even know. I don't even know if

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<v Speaker 1>he can.

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<v Speaker 2>Mkilroy.

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<v Speaker 3>Plus four fifty is a big going out on a limb,

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<v Speaker 3>don't you think.

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<v Speaker 1>Congratulations Larry, Proud of you, Larry.

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<v Speaker 3>And we're not counting them in the unit.

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<v Speaker 1>No, it's in the other units, Larry, I got more

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<v Speaker 1>units in the other units too, Like you want to

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<v Speaker 1>talk about that all day. Shay has baseball units.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't want to talk about I don't. I don't

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<v Speaker 3>want to talk about units that were one before football season.

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<v Speaker 3>But I thought we kept units units football.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, Well we'll count your fucking don't care.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't, I don't need them.

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<v Speaker 1>No, you just complained and wind about it.

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<v Speaker 3>I didn't know. I didn't get them.

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<v Speaker 1>You're like a step chot the person I'm hearing about it.

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<v Speaker 1>Do you talk to Ray? Does Ray keep secrets? Did

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<v Speaker 1>you tell does Larry know about the system here of

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<v Speaker 1>how you're counting these units?

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<v Speaker 4>Larry, you know this. We've talked about it probably eight

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<v Speaker 4>or nine times.

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<v Speaker 2>In the show, well really a lot.

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<v Speaker 4>We had like a twenty minute conversation argument about it too.

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<v Speaker 3>Not me and you, no, not us mate on the show.

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<v Speaker 2>On the show, literally right here, Larry recorded, Larry, I.

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<v Speaker 3>Got the document. He and then I'll look that one

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<v Speaker 3>up because I thought we were just starting at zero

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<v Speaker 3>football football season starts. But you still get the bet

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<v Speaker 3>whatever you want.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes you do, but it's just being kept in a

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<v Speaker 2>separate category anything non football.

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<v Speaker 1>We're still talented on that, by the way, side bed

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<v Speaker 1>on side.

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<v Speaker 2>Bets, biggest who does the best during football season for

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<v Speaker 2>non football bets like that? Actual Actually, speaking of F one,

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<v Speaker 2>I have to make a clarification. I caught some some

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<v Speaker 2>heat from my source when apparently I went and I'll

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<v Speaker 2>take the fall for this, Ray. It's not your fault

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<v Speaker 2>at all. That I went to three and f one

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<v Speaker 2>last week. It is actually two and three.

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<v Speaker 1>Is this the moroccan or the roommate.

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<v Speaker 2>Or two four three? This is the roommate?

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<v Speaker 1>Ok, I got it. Not the Moroccan is not the

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<v Speaker 1>same as the roommate. The Moroccan is a different person than.

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<v Speaker 2>The different person.

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<v Speaker 1>Got it?

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<v Speaker 2>One works at the bodega.

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<v Speaker 1>And one doesn't like you.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, well less than a week ago. But yeah, I

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<v Speaker 2>had to make that clarification. You know, I heard all

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<v Speaker 2>about it.

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<v Speaker 1>Is there anything else that you guys need to recamp?

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<v Speaker 2>Let's see.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm glad, I'm speed Dan.

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<v Speaker 1>Now I this is gonna be a sob story and

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<v Speaker 1>then you're gonna feel like we're out to get you.

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<v Speaker 1>I just don't want to get down this road.

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<v Speaker 3>All I have is all I have is football this week,

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<v Speaker 3>So it doesn't matter, okay.

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<v Speaker 2>Dan, Actually I do have a one recap thing I decide.

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<v Speaker 2>I faded all the Kelsey Mahomes props against the Jets. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>hit all of those, except I parlated with the under

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<v Speaker 2>in the game. Brutal.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, what was it payout there?

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<v Speaker 2>It's like, are a unit to win twelve hundred?

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<v Speaker 1>Oh Jesus Christ? Yeah?

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<v Speaker 2>Plus I think it's plus twelve hundred plus thirteen hundred.

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<v Speaker 1>Let's turn our attention to this week's games, starting with

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<v Speaker 1>Tonight's game, because that's a big one for the show

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<v Speaker 1>with Paulie. If the Bears lose, then Paullie misses out

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<v Speaker 1>on Meet Friday tomorrow and then the following Friday as

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<v Speaker 1>well until they win a game. But Dylan made a

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<v Speaker 1>bet with bread Man from Texas on a show. Brett

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<v Speaker 1>Breadman called in and he wanted a bet on Oklahoma Texas,

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<v Speaker 1>although he wanted Texas straight up against Oklahoma, and then

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<v Speaker 1>you said you would do it, but you would get

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<v Speaker 1>six and a half point.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I'll take the spread. I'm not gonna, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>just give him those lop sided odds over a tattoo bet.

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<v Speaker 2>That seems a little especially if Texas is favorite.

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<v Speaker 1>And he's going to get a tattoo of the Dan

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<v Speaker 1>Patrick Show on his neck. Yes, if if Texas loses.

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<v Speaker 2>Texas, he has Texas. If Texas covers six and a.

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<v Speaker 1>Half, then you get the tattoo. Are you gonna get

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<v Speaker 1>a Dan Patrick tattoo? No? No, no, bread Man, Breadman.

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<v Speaker 2>Bread Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, so he's got that. He was like like a

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<v Speaker 1>white bread or white.

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<v Speaker 2>Bread, Yeah, maybe a sour dough.

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<v Speaker 1>That actually would make a lot of sense.

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<v Speaker 2>A pumpernickel.

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<v Speaker 1>And you do have tattoos already that are questionable.

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<v Speaker 3>I do.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, this will actually probably be the most thought that's

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<v Speaker 2>gone into one of my tattoos. You have an oyster, oyster,

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<v Speaker 2>I have a fish in a trench coat smoking a

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<v Speaker 2>pipe sea urchin. Okay, the RoboCop that's my favorite.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, Ray, So with the fish in the pipe? That

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<v Speaker 4>was Northwestern? Who who they played Nebraska last year? Me

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<v Speaker 4>and Dylan were at the bar and he won his bet,

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<v Speaker 4>and he's like, all right, getting a tattoo. We just

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<v Speaker 4>walked over right away, took the money he won out

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<v Speaker 4>of DraftKings, got a tattoo, Simple as that, right out

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<v Speaker 4>of the book.

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<v Speaker 1>See the problem with tattoos, Danny. My tattoos are much

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<v Speaker 1>more like prison ready, right.

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<v Speaker 2>That is.

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<v Speaker 1>Exactly like if Dylan and I both go inside, like

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<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna be fine, My people will find me, everything

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<v Speaker 1>will be all right. We know it's gonna be. Dylan's

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<v Speaker 1>gonna be holding pockets in the corner and Commisara's coming through.

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<v Speaker 2>And you say you have the haircut for those people. Yes, yeah, no,

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<v Speaker 2>I'll be fresh meat. They'll be like, oh nice, flamingo and.

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<v Speaker 1>Boy, yeah, here's a pipe for you. Here's a couple

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<v Speaker 1>of pipes. All the whole room's in there. WHOA Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>how you doing bad? Layr?

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<v Speaker 3>I'm doing good.

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<v Speaker 5>Okay.

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<v Speaker 3>A little break, A little break on the road. Damn,

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<v Speaker 3>I pulled off the road. I'm on my way to mate.

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<v Speaker 1>Wait, I thought you were stopping in.

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<v Speaker 3>No, it was I'm not a good hour and a half.

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<v Speaker 3>I love you by now. I'm on an eighty four.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, but you did say okay, they lied. You did

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<v Speaker 1>say you were going to stop in again.

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<v Speaker 3>I didn't say I was going to stop in. I

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<v Speaker 3>thought I was going to Maine. I was going to

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<v Speaker 3>go through Milford. But you were a couple hours. I

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<v Speaker 3>was an hour and a half ago.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, wait, hold on here, let's take inventory. Didn't We

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<v Speaker 1>talked to Larry last week and Larry said he was

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<v Speaker 1>going to stop in. He's going to do the show,

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<v Speaker 1>but he couldn't stay, couldn't go drinking.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, okay, drinking it. Yeah. If I stopped, I was

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<v Speaker 3>going to just get back in the car and go.

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<v Speaker 3>And I want to get to mate.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, you can't hang out those without drinking for thirty minutes, Larry.

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<v Speaker 3>The timing didn't work. I'm way beyond Milford.

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<v Speaker 1>All right, fair enough, okay, Dylan, let's resume our regularly

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<v Speaker 1>scheduled program here. So bets for this week, starting with

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<v Speaker 1>college football.

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<v Speaker 2>Alrighty, Dan, So I got Arkansas State plus sixty and

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<v Speaker 2>a half against Troy, be fading them every single game

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<v Speaker 2>this season, which is worked. They didn't work last week,

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<v Speaker 2>but it's been working out actually pretty well. All Right,

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<v Speaker 2>they're frauds, right, three units on the Purdue. Iowa under

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<v Speaker 2>thirty nine also did me dirty last week. But if

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<v Speaker 2>you have a system in place, Dan, you have to

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<v Speaker 2>maintain it.

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<v Speaker 1>Seven of the last ten games under for Iowa.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, okay, Arizona plus twenty one and a half against

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<v Speaker 2>USC okay, USC, and it's scare. Last week with Colorado,

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<v Speaker 2>they looked like they were going to blow them out,

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<v Speaker 2>and then yeah, they kind of they'll let teams get

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<v Speaker 2>back in the game, kind of.

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<v Speaker 1>Like Kansas City Chiefs. Yeah, you know, don't blow anybody out.

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<v Speaker 2>They score a lot of points and then let other

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<v Speaker 2>teams score points. Okay, and then LSU minus five and

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<v Speaker 2>a half against Miszoo. Okay for NFL. I got the

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<v Speaker 2>Bills minus five against the Jags at nine in the

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<v Speaker 2>morning or whatever time that is Vikings money line against

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<v Speaker 2>the Chiefs plus one seventy. I think they're four and

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<v Speaker 2>a half point dogs afternoon game. This seems like a

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<v Speaker 2>letdown spot.

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<v Speaker 1>This is a Kirk Cousins.

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<v Speaker 2>This is a This is a four hundred passing yard

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<v Speaker 2>game for Kurk and Ravens minus four against the Stillers.

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<v Speaker 2>This one gives me pause because Ravens' favorites and in

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<v Speaker 2>Pittsburgh is tough.

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<v Speaker 1>But the Steelers are bad and it's a rivalry game,

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<v Speaker 1>the rivalry game. All Mike Tomlin does is win never

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<v Speaker 1>a losing season see the coaching equivalent or Jimmy Garoppolo.

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<v Speaker 1>That old Jimmy does.

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<v Speaker 2>Is win never anything remarkable except.

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<v Speaker 1>They did win a super Bowl. Yeah after that, I

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<v Speaker 1>went to a super Bowl. It showed out.

0:11:14.679 --> 0:11:16.360
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, wait did he win? Did he win there? With

0:11:16.400 --> 0:11:17.400
<v Speaker 5>Bill Cowers players?

0:11:17.880 --> 0:11:18.320
<v Speaker 1>Correct?

0:11:18.440 --> 0:11:18.640
<v Speaker 2>Yes?

0:11:19.520 --> 0:11:25.160
<v Speaker 1>Correct? Wow? Marv Marvin off the top rope there? I

0:11:25.240 --> 0:11:26.920
<v Speaker 1>don't all right anything else?

0:11:27.080 --> 0:11:30.439
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, So I have the parlay that we also went

0:11:30.480 --> 0:11:34.480
<v Speaker 2>over on the show today. Dan Under in the Red

0:11:34.559 --> 0:11:38.280
<v Speaker 2>River rivalry sixty and a half. This is a big

0:11:38.360 --> 0:11:44.679
<v Speaker 2>time shootout game usually, but I see like ninety people

0:11:44.720 --> 0:11:45.200
<v Speaker 2>are on.

0:11:45.640 --> 0:11:47.880
<v Speaker 1>The over, so I have to on the shootout.

0:11:47.920 --> 0:11:50.079
<v Speaker 2>On the shootout mark, yes on it being a lot

0:11:50.080 --> 0:11:53.559
<v Speaker 2>of points, but it's not a shoot rivalry. It's the shootout.

0:11:53.880 --> 0:11:58.480
<v Speaker 2>The game will be a shootout, right, Okay, Yeah, you're right.

0:11:59.200 --> 0:12:04.800
<v Speaker 2>And Texans Falcons under forty one, Colts Titans under forty three,

0:12:04.960 --> 0:12:09.720
<v Speaker 2>and Cowboys Niners under forty five okay, and then f

0:12:09.760 --> 0:12:13.800
<v Speaker 2>one Dan of course, fresh off the hot week last week,

0:12:15.240 --> 0:12:19.920
<v Speaker 2>Lando Norris podium finished minus one forty Charles Lecree podium

0:12:19.960 --> 0:12:23.000
<v Speaker 2>finished plus three fifty. Yes for there to be a

0:12:23.040 --> 0:12:26.160
<v Speaker 2>safety car minus one seventy five and the winning margin

0:12:26.200 --> 0:12:28.520
<v Speaker 2>between five and ten seconds plus three fifty. And I

0:12:28.520 --> 0:12:29.520
<v Speaker 2>actually won that last time.

0:12:29.559 --> 0:12:33.080
<v Speaker 1>I bet that. Okay, that's in a separate category.

0:12:33.640 --> 0:12:35.560
<v Speaker 2>I believe it or not. Was able to figure out

0:12:35.640 --> 0:12:36.840
<v Speaker 2>the division.

0:12:36.440 --> 0:12:41.880
<v Speaker 1>That there was a separate Yes, unlike bad Larry. That

0:12:41.960 --> 0:12:45.480
<v Speaker 1>seemed like a fake laugh by U, Larry, So it

0:12:45.200 --> 0:12:49.160
<v Speaker 1>was you have something else.

0:12:49.240 --> 0:12:51.400
<v Speaker 2>Yeah. Also, since I mean I already have a tattoo

0:12:51.400 --> 0:12:53.319
<v Speaker 2>on the line, I'm going to do Oklahoma plus six

0:12:53.360 --> 0:12:53.960
<v Speaker 2>and a half.

0:12:54.040 --> 0:12:56.400
<v Speaker 1>For two unitsaging son of a bitch.

0:12:57.200 --> 0:12:59.280
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I go, I don't. I don't have my bets, Dan,

0:12:59.360 --> 0:13:00.440
<v Speaker 2>I go go in all right?

0:13:00.880 --> 0:13:04.720
<v Speaker 1>Uh shay, Yeah, Danny, got some good old fashioned American

0:13:04.720 --> 0:13:07.440
<v Speaker 1>gambling here for you. I got the Rolling Baptist laying

0:13:07.480 --> 0:13:09.880
<v Speaker 1>three against the hero of Texas. That would be Liberty

0:13:09.960 --> 0:13:12.760
<v Speaker 1>versus Sam Houston. Got. I got hook them dot Com

0:13:12.800 --> 0:13:17.119
<v Speaker 1>back splash my homepage against the meth headscrab b Texas Oklahoma.

0:13:17.280 --> 0:13:18.880
<v Speaker 2>There's no meth in Texas either.

0:13:18.720 --> 0:13:20.960
<v Speaker 1>Texas State not like Oklahoma. You ever been in Oklahoma?

0:13:21.040 --> 0:13:22.760
<v Speaker 1>They got trailers full of that ship. I had a

0:13:22.760 --> 0:13:23.599
<v Speaker 1>whole factory they got it.

0:13:23.679 --> 0:13:25.079
<v Speaker 2>Oh no, I know, I know. It's worse.

0:13:25.240 --> 0:13:27.840
<v Speaker 1>It's way worse, dude. At least we get the cocaine

0:13:27.840 --> 0:13:30.719
<v Speaker 1>stops in Dallas, we just consume it all. And then

0:13:30.840 --> 0:13:31.920
<v Speaker 1>north of that it's all meth.

0:13:32.000 --> 0:13:32.560
<v Speaker 2>It's all meth.

0:13:32.800 --> 0:13:41.360
<v Speaker 1>I thought, it's don't meth with Texas, don't meth. Yeah, okay, Mike,

0:13:42.440 --> 0:13:44.720
<v Speaker 1>Texas State against the double l's plus two and a half.

0:13:45.080 --> 0:13:47.880
<v Speaker 1>I got Pig Sue laying or actually plus eleven and

0:13:47.880 --> 0:13:50.599
<v Speaker 1>a half against the Confederates. And then I got the

0:13:50.640 --> 0:13:53.760
<v Speaker 1>Twinkies plus one thirty six against the Cheaters. Okay, now

0:13:53.840 --> 0:13:56.720
<v Speaker 1>once again that would be in a separate category, correct,

0:13:56.760 --> 0:13:59.880
<v Speaker 1>And I do want to add one NFL bet. I

0:14:00.040 --> 0:14:02.200
<v Speaker 1>didn't like the card whatsoever, but I do like the

0:14:02.320 --> 0:14:04.120
<v Speaker 1>Jags plus five against the josh All.

0:14:04.200 --> 0:14:09.400
<v Speaker 2>Okay, this was a rough uh board week.

0:14:09.440 --> 0:14:11.679
<v Speaker 1>I do too. It's a weird Sunday. It's a weird

0:14:12.840 --> 0:14:13.520
<v Speaker 1>bad Larry.

0:14:14.840 --> 0:14:18.000
<v Speaker 3>Okay, you want college first, Dan, And yes, like the

0:14:18.000 --> 0:14:20.440
<v Speaker 3>first week ever that Dylan and I aren't going against

0:14:20.480 --> 0:14:21.720
<v Speaker 3>each other. And I don't even think Shay and I

0:14:21.760 --> 0:14:24.800
<v Speaker 3>have anything. We're going against christ this week. So I

0:14:24.800 --> 0:14:27.560
<v Speaker 3>got Tech plus six and a half against Western Kentucky.

0:14:28.480 --> 0:14:31.160
<v Speaker 3>I got Texas A and M plus the three against Alabama.

0:14:32.120 --> 0:14:36.080
<v Speaker 1>Oh no, no, it's one and a half and is

0:14:36.080 --> 0:14:37.160
<v Speaker 1>getting one and a half.

0:14:37.400 --> 0:14:42.479
<v Speaker 3>Larry, you know what a little more than that's good.

0:14:43.120 --> 0:14:44.600
<v Speaker 3>Let it's just change that to one and a half

0:14:44.600 --> 0:14:48.280
<v Speaker 3>so I don't mess up next week. Okay plus one

0:14:48.280 --> 0:14:48.840
<v Speaker 3>and a half.

0:14:48.880 --> 0:14:52.320
<v Speaker 1>You can get the lines from Ray before you make

0:14:52.360 --> 0:14:53.160
<v Speaker 1>these picks.

0:14:54.640 --> 0:14:56.920
<v Speaker 3>I sent the pics. I did it this morning before

0:14:56.920 --> 0:14:58.320
<v Speaker 3>I left. It was probably eight o'clock.

0:14:58.680 --> 0:15:03.680
<v Speaker 1>I was up early, Dan, Okay, Rad gets up with

0:15:03.760 --> 0:15:04.880
<v Speaker 1>like fucking five am.

0:15:05.920 --> 0:15:09.560
<v Speaker 3>We were here hours before that, Larry, all Right, I

0:15:09.560 --> 0:15:11.320
<v Speaker 3>saw the little comment about I won't be up till

0:15:11.360 --> 0:15:14.320
<v Speaker 3>ten forty to respond to it. But that's okay. Colorado

0:15:14.360 --> 0:15:18.320
<v Speaker 3>minus the four and a half against Arizona State, and

0:15:18.400 --> 0:15:20.000
<v Speaker 3>I got Notre Dame minus the six and a half

0:15:20.000 --> 0:15:20.720
<v Speaker 3>against Louisville.

0:15:20.800 --> 0:15:24.680
<v Speaker 1>It's six out of that one. There you go.

0:15:26.000 --> 0:15:26.480
<v Speaker 5>Okay.

0:15:27.720 --> 0:15:30.040
<v Speaker 3>Then in the pros, I got the Commander Tonight minus

0:15:30.160 --> 0:15:34.000
<v Speaker 3>five and a half against the Bears, six minus six

0:15:34.040 --> 0:15:40.800
<v Speaker 3>against the Bears, yes, okay. I got the Jets is

0:15:40.840 --> 0:15:44.360
<v Speaker 3>it plus one and a half against the Broncos, Yes, okay.

0:15:44.720 --> 0:15:46.360
<v Speaker 3>I have the Saints plus the same one and a

0:15:46.400 --> 0:15:47.480
<v Speaker 3>half against the Patriots.

0:15:47.600 --> 0:15:50.000
<v Speaker 1>You get one, okay.

0:15:51.160 --> 0:15:53.160
<v Speaker 3>I got the Rams plus four and a half against

0:15:53.200 --> 0:15:53.720
<v Speaker 3>the Eagles.

0:15:53.920 --> 0:15:54.280
<v Speaker 1>Yes.

0:15:55.560 --> 0:15:58.200
<v Speaker 3>And I got the forty nine Ers minus the three

0:15:58.240 --> 0:16:01.720
<v Speaker 3>and a half against Shay's Cowboy Okay, don't blame you.

0:16:01.880 --> 0:16:03.360
<v Speaker 1>That's not a bad bad I don't blame you.

0:16:03.600 --> 0:16:03.880
<v Speaker 5>Okay.

0:16:07.040 --> 0:16:09.120
<v Speaker 2>The Cowboys always get dogged by the Niners, at least

0:16:09.160 --> 0:16:09.920
<v Speaker 2>in recent history.

0:16:10.160 --> 0:16:12.760
<v Speaker 1>Recent fuck recent that's a ninety yeah, dude, or since

0:16:13.000 --> 0:16:16.360
<v Speaker 1>fucking Joe Montana. That stupid catch like it's not it's

0:16:16.360 --> 0:16:16.840
<v Speaker 1>been bad.

0:16:16.960 --> 0:16:20.160
<v Speaker 5>No, no, it's been relaxed.

0:16:20.200 --> 0:16:20.440
<v Speaker 1>Okay.

0:16:20.520 --> 0:16:22.400
<v Speaker 5>You guys won three Super Bowls at the hands of

0:16:22.440 --> 0:16:22.920
<v Speaker 5>the forty.

0:16:22.800 --> 0:16:24.720
<v Speaker 1>Nine, and the one we lost was because we lost

0:16:24.760 --> 0:16:26.960
<v Speaker 1>to the fucking Niners in the NFC Championship game. We

0:16:26.960 --> 0:16:29.080
<v Speaker 1>should have won four in a row. That's because they'll stop.

0:16:29.120 --> 0:16:30.760
<v Speaker 1>That's only because Dion went over there. And you guys

0:16:30.760 --> 0:16:33.240
<v Speaker 1>should have won more because Jerry Jones and Jimmy Johnson

0:16:33.360 --> 0:16:35.480
<v Speaker 1>couldn't you know, Barry Switzer, I could have coached that

0:16:35.520 --> 0:16:38.040
<v Speaker 1>team to two Super Bowls. That's bullshit. Barry Switzer is

0:16:38.040 --> 0:16:40.400
<v Speaker 1>a fucking drunken, a maniac, and he brought a goddamn

0:16:40.440 --> 0:16:43.440
<v Speaker 1>excuse my language, he brought a freaking pistol in his

0:16:43.600 --> 0:16:46.760
<v Speaker 1>carry on bag through DFW airport and nothing ever happened.

0:16:46.920 --> 0:16:48.640
<v Speaker 1>You should get slapped in public if you do some

0:16:48.720 --> 0:16:49.520
<v Speaker 1>dumb shit like that.

0:16:49.760 --> 0:16:51.960
<v Speaker 2>Wait, it all sounds like you google it.

0:16:52.040 --> 0:16:54.440
<v Speaker 5>Hold on DP. That's the first time we've heard out

0:16:54.480 --> 0:16:57.480
<v Speaker 5>of all the cursing. That's when he says, excuse my language.

0:16:57.600 --> 0:16:59.960
<v Speaker 1>Well, I have to be a better example to all you, eh, theist,

0:17:00.200 --> 0:17:02.960
<v Speaker 1>that's the problem. I'm here to. I'm here to prosely

0:17:04.280 --> 0:17:05.320
<v Speaker 1>I gotta preach here?

0:17:05.600 --> 0:17:07.400
<v Speaker 2>Is that what the pamphlets are?

0:17:08.920 --> 0:17:11.119
<v Speaker 1>Fun? Have fun in hell? That's all the paper says,

0:17:11.200 --> 0:17:13.359
<v Speaker 1>have fun in hell. See, shan Irvy, you.

0:17:13.359 --> 0:17:15.400
<v Speaker 2>Can't escape the rats, right right, You're.

0:17:15.240 --> 0:17:18.120
<v Speaker 1>All going to be there together, how nice? And I'll

0:17:18.119 --> 0:17:20.240
<v Speaker 1>be the ones selling air conditioning units in the corner

0:17:20.440 --> 0:17:24.240
<v Speaker 1>that you ain't got no money. You are not going

0:17:24.359 --> 0:17:26.680
<v Speaker 1>to heaven first class ticket, Ninny.

0:17:26.640 --> 0:17:28.840
<v Speaker 2>Now it sounds like you'll be selling fucking AC units

0:17:28.840 --> 0:17:29.080
<v Speaker 2>in hell.

0:17:29.160 --> 0:17:32.119
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, why why are you selling AC in heaven? Well,

0:17:32.160 --> 0:17:35.320
<v Speaker 1>I'm still a capitalist, Danny, not a comedy will you'd

0:17:35.320 --> 0:17:37.399
<v Speaker 1>be selling it in hell? Right, Well, that's where all

0:17:37.440 --> 0:17:40.120
<v Speaker 1>the money is. You have to go weeping and gnashing

0:17:40.160 --> 0:17:41.879
<v Speaker 1>of teeth for eternity, Danny.

0:17:42.640 --> 0:17:45.880
<v Speaker 2>Oh god, honestly it sounds way more fun.

0:17:46.000 --> 0:17:49.800
<v Speaker 1>See you get born again, and then you think born again, Danny,

0:17:49.800 --> 0:17:53.080
<v Speaker 1>it was born into this irving texts. Then you're some

0:17:53.160 --> 0:17:56.240
<v Speaker 1>option we have here, maybe, but but then you you

0:17:56.400 --> 0:17:59.000
<v Speaker 1>end up, you know, washing away all your sins and

0:17:59.040 --> 0:18:02.800
<v Speaker 1>then hallelujah, Yeah, like everything all the bad things you did,

0:18:02.840 --> 0:18:04.920
<v Speaker 1>and you got to do that every morning.

0:18:04.880 --> 0:18:09.399
<v Speaker 2>And wash them away with Yes.

0:18:09.240 --> 0:18:12.399
<v Speaker 5>Marvin, were they allowed to dance in Irving, Texas.

0:18:12.600 --> 0:18:16.960
<v Speaker 1>Uh No, was like yeah, no dancing. There was no booze.

0:18:16.960 --> 0:18:17.760
<v Speaker 1>It was a dry town.

0:18:17.920 --> 0:18:18.400
<v Speaker 5>Only meth.

0:18:18.800 --> 0:18:20.760
<v Speaker 1>There's a lot of cocaine, a whole lot of cocaine,

0:18:20.840 --> 0:18:23.440
<v Speaker 1>a lot of meth, a lot of crack. Fantastic.

0:18:23.440 --> 0:18:25.200
<v Speaker 5>Wait, so no dancing, but there was meth.

0:18:25.440 --> 0:18:28.040
<v Speaker 1>Yeah. Well it wasn't really a med thing back then.

0:18:28.040 --> 0:18:29.640
<v Speaker 1>It was a cocaine thing. You'd get a bird down

0:18:29.640 --> 0:18:32.960
<v Speaker 1>there for twelve and a half. Back then, that ship

0:18:33.000 --> 0:18:36.600
<v Speaker 1>was everywhere, fantastic. A bird, a bird, yeah, A kilo

0:18:36.720 --> 0:18:39.639
<v Speaker 1>A kilo. Yeah, Now you're up here, Danny. We're talking

0:18:39.640 --> 0:18:42.080
<v Speaker 1>thirty three and a half for a kilo. That's ridiculous.

0:18:42.119 --> 0:18:46.639
<v Speaker 1>Thirty three one hundred thirty. Yeah, you chopped that in

0:18:46.640 --> 0:18:48.520
<v Speaker 1>half and started adding a couple of years further from

0:18:48.560 --> 0:18:50.480
<v Speaker 1>the three rocket Marvin, that's what you gotta do.

0:18:50.600 --> 0:18:52.720
<v Speaker 5>Unfortunately, I know people that are in the business also,

0:18:52.840 --> 0:18:53.560
<v Speaker 5>So give.

0:18:53.440 --> 0:18:56.000
<v Speaker 1>Me, give me a twelve ton press and a couple

0:18:56.000 --> 0:18:57.679
<v Speaker 1>of CDs, and I'll make you some money.

0:18:58.000 --> 0:18:58.400
<v Speaker 2>Freezer.

0:18:58.520 --> 0:19:01.280
<v Speaker 1>How did you get in trouble if you grew up

0:19:01.320 --> 0:19:04.879
<v Speaker 1>in a footloose style of parents want very good at

0:19:04.920 --> 0:19:07.440
<v Speaker 1>their job. I mean, that's for sure. I was definitely

0:19:07.560 --> 0:19:10.800
<v Speaker 1>left alone, way too much, kind of just you know,

0:19:11.040 --> 0:19:13.040
<v Speaker 1>daddy ROMs Danny.

0:19:13.400 --> 0:19:14.919
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I'm nerving Texas.

0:19:15.040 --> 0:19:19.080
<v Speaker 1>The crack is fantastic, Yes, crack your sins. Your sins

0:19:19.119 --> 0:19:21.920
<v Speaker 1>have been forgiven already. Absolutely. No, you got to read

0:19:21.920 --> 0:19:25.320
<v Speaker 1>the book, Danny. It gives you all the answers right there.

0:19:25.680 --> 0:19:27.600
<v Speaker 2>I read that book and there's not a goddamn answer

0:19:27.680 --> 0:19:28.000
<v Speaker 2>in there.

0:19:28.119 --> 0:19:29.960
<v Speaker 1>All right, you clearly didn't read the book. Gud.

0:19:30.240 --> 0:19:31.200
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, you're going to hell.

0:19:31.280 --> 0:19:33.960
<v Speaker 1>Can't wait? Which book? Did you read? The old one

0:19:34.040 --> 0:19:37.640
<v Speaker 1>or the new one? I read the old one. Yeah,

0:19:38.920 --> 0:19:39.679
<v Speaker 1>we're all in trouble.

0:19:40.240 --> 0:19:42.160
<v Speaker 2>I think the old one is the real one, right.

0:19:42.400 --> 0:19:43.320
<v Speaker 1>No, no, it's not.

0:19:43.400 --> 0:19:45.440
<v Speaker 2>Absolutely you may as well read Harry Potter.

0:19:45.520 --> 0:19:50.240
<v Speaker 1>Okay, you know, if you know, the best part is like,

0:19:50.280 --> 0:19:52.080
<v Speaker 1>when I'm in heaven, they're going to play this back

0:19:52.119 --> 0:19:54.600
<v Speaker 1>to me just to make me feel yeah, and they're

0:19:54.600 --> 0:19:57.320
<v Speaker 1>gonna be like they're all in hell. You did so good,

0:19:57.880 --> 0:20:00.720
<v Speaker 1>thank you Jesus. No, but you did do well. If

0:20:00.720 --> 0:20:02.760
<v Speaker 1>we're all in hell. No, I did great. What do

0:20:02.760 --> 0:20:06.320
<v Speaker 1>you mean I didn't succumb. I didn't succumb to the backwards,

0:20:06.600 --> 0:20:10.119
<v Speaker 1>but you didn't help us bring out I tried. I tried.

0:20:10.160 --> 0:20:11.040
<v Speaker 1>You're all quitters.

0:20:11.240 --> 0:20:15.800
<v Speaker 5>That's a problem, big part of Christianity. You got a witness, amen? Yeah,

0:20:15.960 --> 0:20:19.879
<v Speaker 5>so put on like uh that Jesus h Latter Day Saints.

0:20:20.000 --> 0:20:23.919
<v Speaker 1>No, whoa whoa whoa whoa. Apostates, Apostles do not do that.

0:20:23.960 --> 0:20:26.320
<v Speaker 1>Why do you think Mitt Romney lost the election? He's

0:20:26.359 --> 0:20:29.199
<v Speaker 1>an apostate evangelical wouldn't give it around him because he

0:20:29.280 --> 0:20:31.879
<v Speaker 1>doesn't make any sense. Mormons think, Danny, you're gonna get

0:20:31.920 --> 0:20:35.399
<v Speaker 1>mad at this. Mormons think that God is a counsel

0:20:35.480 --> 0:20:37.600
<v Speaker 1>of God's and that when you die, you can go

0:20:37.680 --> 0:20:40.840
<v Speaker 1>to your own planet. And they also wear special underwear

0:20:40.920 --> 0:20:44.280
<v Speaker 1>when they go on their ceremonies. Danny, it is you know,

0:20:44.280 --> 0:20:45.320
<v Speaker 1>they're going to hell.

0:20:45.240 --> 0:20:49.040
<v Speaker 2>Danny, And that sounds way less plausible than the other

0:20:49.200 --> 0:20:49.640
<v Speaker 2>on te.

0:20:49.680 --> 0:20:52.200
<v Speaker 1>See, I think I'd be like Jim Baker with Jessica Haun,

0:20:52.920 --> 0:20:54.879
<v Speaker 1>I would too. What do you mean, Yeah, Jim Baker's

0:20:54.920 --> 0:20:59.320
<v Speaker 1>going to heaven hundred percent. He might have been a crook,

0:20:59.359 --> 0:21:03.720
<v Speaker 1>but the guy believes even Jim Baker. Y'all are judgmental.

0:21:03.800 --> 0:21:07.400
<v Speaker 1>Let me tell you, yes, but there's a final judgment day.

0:21:07.760 --> 0:21:09.520
<v Speaker 1>It's not my job I'm to help.

0:21:09.680 --> 0:21:12.040
<v Speaker 2>If you believe, can you do as much bad ship

0:21:12.119 --> 0:21:12.600
<v Speaker 2>as you want?

0:21:13.080 --> 0:21:15.040
<v Speaker 1>Well, it depends on what you want. What does that

0:21:15.080 --> 0:21:17.880
<v Speaker 1>mean you want? Like if you're a flawed man. We're

0:21:17.880 --> 0:21:20.719
<v Speaker 1>all flawed people, we all believe that, right, But if

0:21:20.720 --> 0:21:23.520
<v Speaker 1>you're continuously being a dirt bag for fun just so

0:21:23.560 --> 0:21:25.680
<v Speaker 1>you can repent later at night, No, that ain't. That

0:21:25.720 --> 0:21:27.240
<v Speaker 1>ain't genuine. They ain't falling for that ship.

0:21:27.680 --> 0:21:32.320
<v Speaker 2>Smarter than if Bill Cosby was like, whoa, you know,

0:21:32.440 --> 0:21:35.520
<v Speaker 2>all of a sudden, I turned myself over to God.

0:21:35.600 --> 0:21:40.640
<v Speaker 1>After raping all those womens. Yeah, go to prison to prison.

0:21:40.680 --> 0:21:43.280
<v Speaker 2>Right, and then got out on a technicality? Did he

0:21:43.760 --> 0:21:45.879
<v Speaker 2>you don't remember, I don't remember why you got They

0:21:45.880 --> 0:21:49.679
<v Speaker 2>were like, they used uh this evidence in the civil

0:21:49.760 --> 0:21:52.080
<v Speaker 2>case that in the deal was basically like if they

0:21:52.160 --> 0:21:54.880
<v Speaker 2>used it for that, they wouldn't it would be inadmissible

0:21:54.920 --> 0:21:56.840
<v Speaker 2>in the criminal case. And they use it anyways, then

0:21:56.840 --> 0:21:58.240
<v Speaker 2>they just dug it out.

0:21:58.320 --> 0:21:59.280
<v Speaker 1>D A just fucked up.

0:21:59.320 --> 0:22:00.639
<v Speaker 2>They just fucked up, and he walked.

0:22:00.840 --> 0:22:04.200
<v Speaker 5>Yes, Mark, there's so much to use tomorrow for the show.

0:22:05.080 --> 0:22:06.600
<v Speaker 5>There's just so much we can use, right.

0:22:06.640 --> 0:22:08.960
<v Speaker 2>Clip Shy say saying Bill Cosby's going to heaven.

0:22:09.480 --> 0:22:11.800
<v Speaker 1>No, I didn't say that. I never said going to heaven.

0:22:12.040 --> 0:22:12.480
<v Speaker 2>You just did.

0:22:12.600 --> 0:22:18.560
<v Speaker 1>He probably is more banter like this Shaye and Irvings podcast.

0:22:18.880 --> 0:22:22.000
<v Speaker 1>It's available wherever you get your podcast. Yeah, it's gonna

0:22:22.000 --> 0:22:27.080
<v Speaker 1>get word the evangelical that you Yeah, hallelujah. Yeah that's me.

0:22:27.320 --> 0:22:29.280
<v Speaker 2>They're like crucifixes and over your house.

0:22:29.280 --> 0:22:31.600
<v Speaker 1>Absolutely not, that's a that's an idolatry. We don't do

0:22:31.640 --> 0:22:32.000
<v Speaker 1>that ship.

0:22:32.080 --> 0:22:32.760
<v Speaker 2>That's false idol.

0:22:32.800 --> 0:22:35.680
<v Speaker 1>Absolutely right. Yeah. That's in the Bible several times, not

0:22:35.760 --> 0:22:37.760
<v Speaker 1>just the Tech Commandments. It's in there several times oldly

0:22:37.800 --> 0:22:40.720
<v Speaker 1>in new Larry, Larry, anything you need to say before

0:22:40.760 --> 0:22:42.199
<v Speaker 1>we say goodbye. I know you're on the road to

0:22:42.240 --> 0:22:43.680
<v Speaker 1>main I'm just.

0:22:43.600 --> 0:22:46.560
<v Speaker 3>Started driving again. No, all you gotta do is repent

0:22:46.680 --> 0:22:52.720
<v Speaker 3>right before you die and all that stuff to be forgiven. Say,

0:22:52.840 --> 0:22:53.720
<v Speaker 3>I'll meet you in heaven.

0:22:54.119 --> 0:22:56.600
<v Speaker 1>Thank you. I can't wait to see you. Sure that

0:22:56.840 --> 0:22:58.800
<v Speaker 1>I can't wait to see you.

0:22:59.359 --> 0:23:02.240
<v Speaker 2>Amendy's version of hell is getting there and see.

0:23:05.880 --> 0:23:08.880
<v Speaker 1>All the escalator up. What the fuck are you doing here? Man?

0:23:09.040 --> 0:23:12.040
<v Speaker 2>You two are gonna playing shuffleboard for all of eternity.

0:23:12.880 --> 0:23:18.200
<v Speaker 1>Thank you, Larry. A pleasure, guys, Enjoy Larry It's Bad,

0:23:18.320 --> 0:23:20.960
<v Speaker 1>Larry on the Road, Shay and Irving Podcast wherever you

0:23:21.000 --> 0:23:24.719
<v Speaker 1>get your podcasts for a Dylan the Graphics Guy, Marvin Picture,

0:23:24.800 --> 0:23:28.680
<v Speaker 1>de Ray, Shae and Irving. I'm Dan Patrick. Dan Patrick

0:23:28.760 --> 0:23:35.520
<v Speaker 1>takes a gamble. We'll talk to you next week.