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Speaker 1: Gambling was something that I did. This is Dan Patrick

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Speaker 1: takes a gamble. One of my bookies died at the

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Speaker 1: Kitchen Table, a podcast vehicle for Dan to talk about

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Speaker 1: his love of gambling. One bet, another bet, another bet

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Speaker 1: without doing the actual gambling.

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Speaker 2: You're a coward.

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Speaker 1: It's easy to have a scapegoat and now join my

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Speaker 1: bad Larry Shayan Irving and Dylan the graphics got I

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Speaker 1: have friends. Here's Dan Patrick. You have a beth, though

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Speaker 1: you have to pay it. So if the commanders lose

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Speaker 1: the Red River, oh, you have the Red River rivalry shootout,

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Speaker 1: not a shootout anymore, Danny. I know you're not allowed

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Speaker 1: to not allowed to say that.

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Speaker 2: Is a hilarious like tweaking, to be like this is tweaking.

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Speaker 1: Speaking of tweaking, it is Texas and ou so as

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Speaker 1: far as the meth goes, there's gonna be. Yeah, see

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Speaker 1: through shit. By the way, you uh, you didn't recover

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Speaker 1: from Dallas had to win and you could even come

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Speaker 1: on to talk about it this week. I was sick, Danny.

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Speaker 1: There's something going around the way. The weather's snapping. OK's

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Speaker 1: not my fault. I got a really good immune system.

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Speaker 1: I take care of myself. Body is a temple, all

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Speaker 1: that stuff. You can tell. Look at me. Yeah, still

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Speaker 1: not drinking, looking good, looking great, feeling great, looking good.

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Speaker 2: You're glowing.

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Speaker 1: Bad Larry there, pregnant, I'm here great, great, Hello, Dylan, goodbye.

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Speaker 1: Bad Larry lost a unit last week, Shay one five

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Speaker 1: up plus seven and Dylan didn't lose a unit. You're

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Speaker 1: plus fourteen, staying even. Okay, I like that. Any recaps here, anything,

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Speaker 1: anybody wants to mention. Notre Dame, Notre fucking Dame Danny. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: this is why I believe in God. This is why

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Speaker 1: y'all are all going to hell, because touchdown, Jesus came

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Speaker 1: through in the clutch and went for two. Daddy covered

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Speaker 1: freaking out of the house. The roommate couldn't understand. It's

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Speaker 1: like Notre Dame one, Notre Dame one. It was like, stop,

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Speaker 1: give no idea, what the hell you're talking about? Woman,

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Speaker 1: Shut your file hole. That's relevant day now there you. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: they won. More importantly, they covered a Yeah, bad Larry,

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Speaker 1: anything you want to recap.

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Speaker 3: We're not talking about the Ryder companymore. No, that was

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Speaker 3: at those points.

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Speaker 1: No, the comedies won.

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Speaker 2: We're not going to talk I think we.

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Speaker 3: Had Tommy one and McIlroy was the high point Communists.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean you do, but it not for the

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Speaker 1: football total. I mean we do acknowledge that you had

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Speaker 1: plus one hundred europe to win and Rory to be

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Speaker 1: a European's top score plus four fifty. Those aren't really

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Speaker 1: you know, great bets. Where he went on on a limb,

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Speaker 1: Larre plus four fifty, Yeah, there we go. It's Rory McElroy.

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Speaker 1: So it was either him or John Rahm, just.

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Speaker 2: Because he's the one name you can pronounce.

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Speaker 1: Larry. I don't even know. I don't even know if

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Speaker 1: he can.

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Speaker 2: Mkilroy.

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Speaker 3: Plus four fifty is a big going out on a limb,

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Speaker 3: don't you think.

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Speaker 1: Congratulations Larry, Proud of you, Larry.

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Speaker 3: And we're not counting them in the unit.

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Speaker 1: No, it's in the other units, Larry, I got more

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Speaker 1: units in the other units too, Like you want to

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Speaker 1: talk about that all day. Shay has baseball units.

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Speaker 3: I don't want to talk about I don't. I don't

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Speaker 3: want to talk about units that were one before football season.

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Speaker 3: But I thought we kept units units football.

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Speaker 1: Okay, Well we'll count your fucking don't care.

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Speaker 3: I don't, I don't need them.

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Speaker 1: No, you just complained and wind about it.

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Speaker 3: I didn't know. I didn't get them.

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Speaker 1: You're like a step chot the person I'm hearing about it.

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Speaker 1: Do you talk to Ray? Does Ray keep secrets? Did

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Speaker 1: you tell does Larry know about the system here of

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Speaker 1: how you're counting these units?

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Speaker 4: Larry, you know this. We've talked about it probably eight

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Speaker 4: or nine times.

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Speaker 2: In the show, well really a lot.

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Speaker 4: We had like a twenty minute conversation argument about it too.

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Speaker 3: Not me and you, no, not us mate on the show.

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Speaker 2: On the show, literally right here, Larry recorded, Larry, I.

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Speaker 3: Got the document. He and then I'll look that one

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Speaker 3: up because I thought we were just starting at zero

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Speaker 3: football football season starts. But you still get the bet

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Speaker 3: whatever you want.

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Speaker 2: Yes you do, but it's just being kept in a

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Speaker 2: separate category anything non football.

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Speaker 1: We're still talented on that, by the way, side bed

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Speaker 1: on side.

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Speaker 2: Bets, biggest who does the best during football season for

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Speaker 2: non football bets like that? Actual Actually, speaking of F one,

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Speaker 2: I have to make a clarification. I caught some some

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Speaker 2: heat from my source when apparently I went and I'll

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Speaker 2: take the fall for this, Ray. It's not your fault

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Speaker 2: at all. That I went to three and f one

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Speaker 2: last week. It is actually two and three.

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Speaker 1: Is this the moroccan or the roommate.

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Speaker 2: Or two four three? This is the roommate?

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Speaker 1: Ok, I got it. Not the Moroccan is not the

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Speaker 1: same as the roommate. The Moroccan is a different person than.

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Speaker 2: The different person.

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Speaker 1: Got it?

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Speaker 2: One works at the bodega.

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Speaker 1: And one doesn't like you.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, well less than a week ago. But yeah, I

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Speaker 2: had to make that clarification. You know, I heard all

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Speaker 2: about it.

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Speaker 1: Is there anything else that you guys need to recamp?

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Speaker 2: Let's see.

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Speaker 3: I'm glad, I'm speed Dan.

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Speaker 1: Now I this is gonna be a sob story and

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Speaker 1: then you're gonna feel like we're out to get you.

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Speaker 1: I just don't want to get down this road.

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Speaker 3: All I have is all I have is football this week,

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Speaker 3: So it doesn't matter, okay.

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Speaker 2: Dan, Actually I do have a one recap thing I decide.

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Speaker 2: I faded all the Kelsey Mahomes props against the Jets. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: hit all of those, except I parlated with the under

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Speaker 2: in the game. Brutal.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, what was it payout there?

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Speaker 2: It's like, are a unit to win twelve hundred?

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Speaker 1: Oh Jesus Christ? Yeah?

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Speaker 2: Plus I think it's plus twelve hundred plus thirteen hundred.

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Speaker 1: Let's turn our attention to this week's games, starting with

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Speaker 1: Tonight's game, because that's a big one for the show

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Speaker 1: with Paulie. If the Bears lose, then Paullie misses out

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Speaker 1: on Meet Friday tomorrow and then the following Friday as

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Speaker 1: well until they win a game. But Dylan made a

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Speaker 1: bet with bread Man from Texas on a show. Brett

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Speaker 1: Breadman called in and he wanted a bet on Oklahoma Texas,

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Speaker 1: although he wanted Texas straight up against Oklahoma, and then

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Speaker 1: you said you would do it, but you would get

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Speaker 1: six and a half point.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I'll take the spread. I'm not gonna, you know,

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Speaker 2: just give him those lop sided odds over a tattoo bet.

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Speaker 2: That seems a little especially if Texas is favorite.

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Speaker 1: And he's going to get a tattoo of the Dan

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Speaker 1: Patrick Show on his neck. Yes, if if Texas loses.

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Speaker 2: Texas, he has Texas. If Texas covers six and a.

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Speaker 1: Half, then you get the tattoo. Are you gonna get

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Speaker 1: a Dan Patrick tattoo? No? No, no, bread Man, Breadman.

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Speaker 2: Bread Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so he's got that. He was like like a

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Speaker 1: white bread or white.

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Speaker 2: Bread, Yeah, maybe a sour dough.

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Speaker 1: That actually would make a lot of sense.

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Speaker 2: A pumpernickel.

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Speaker 1: And you do have tattoos already that are questionable.

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Speaker 3: I do.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, this will actually probably be the most thought that's

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Speaker 2: gone into one of my tattoos. You have an oyster, oyster,

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Speaker 2: I have a fish in a trench coat smoking a

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Speaker 2: pipe sea urchin. Okay, the RoboCop that's my favorite.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, Ray, So with the fish in the pipe? That

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Speaker 4: was Northwestern? Who who they played Nebraska last year? Me

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Speaker 4: and Dylan were at the bar and he won his bet,

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Speaker 4: and he's like, all right, getting a tattoo. We just

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Speaker 4: walked over right away, took the money he won out

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Speaker 4: of DraftKings, got a tattoo, Simple as that, right out

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Speaker 4: of the book.

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Speaker 1: See the problem with tattoos, Danny. My tattoos are much

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Speaker 1: more like prison ready, right.

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Speaker 2: That is.

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Speaker 1: Exactly like if Dylan and I both go inside, like

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna be fine, My people will find me, everything

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Speaker 1: will be all right. We know it's gonna be. Dylan's

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Speaker 1: gonna be holding pockets in the corner and Commisara's coming through.

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Speaker 2: And you say you have the haircut for those people. Yes, yeah, no,

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Speaker 2: I'll be fresh meat. They'll be like, oh nice, flamingo and.

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Speaker 1: Boy, yeah, here's a pipe for you. Here's a couple

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Speaker 1: of pipes. All the whole room's in there. WHOA Okay,

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Speaker 1: how you doing bad? Layr?

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Speaker 3: I'm doing good.

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Speaker 5: Okay.

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Speaker 3: A little break, A little break on the road. Damn,

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Speaker 3: I pulled off the road. I'm on my way to mate.

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Speaker 1: Wait, I thought you were stopping in.

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Speaker 3: No, it was I'm not a good hour and a half.

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Speaker 3: I love you by now. I'm on an eighty four.

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Speaker 1: Okay, but you did say okay, they lied. You did

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Speaker 1: say you were going to stop in again.

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Speaker 3: I didn't say I was going to stop in. I

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Speaker 3: thought I was going to Maine. I was going to

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Speaker 3: go through Milford. But you were a couple hours. I

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Speaker 3: was an hour and a half ago.

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Speaker 1: Okay, wait, hold on here, let's take inventory. Didn't We

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Speaker 1: talked to Larry last week and Larry said he was

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Speaker 1: going to stop in. He's going to do the show,

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Speaker 1: but he couldn't stay, couldn't go drinking.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, drinking it. Yeah. If I stopped, I was

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Speaker 3: going to just get back in the car and go.

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Speaker 3: And I want to get to mate.

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Speaker 2: Well, you can't hang out those without drinking for thirty minutes, Larry.

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Speaker 3: The timing didn't work. I'm way beyond Milford.

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Speaker 1: All right, fair enough, okay, Dylan, let's resume our regularly

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Speaker 1: scheduled program here. So bets for this week, starting with

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Speaker 1: college football.

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Speaker 2: Alrighty, Dan, So I got Arkansas State plus sixty and

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Speaker 2: a half against Troy, be fading them every single game

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Speaker 2: this season, which is worked. They didn't work last week,

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Speaker 2: but it's been working out actually pretty well. All Right,

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Speaker 2: they're frauds, right, three units on the Purdue. Iowa under

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Speaker 2: thirty nine also did me dirty last week. But if

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Speaker 2: you have a system in place, Dan, you have to

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Speaker 2: maintain it.

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Speaker 1: Seven of the last ten games under for Iowa.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, Arizona plus twenty one and a half against

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Speaker 2: USC okay, USC, and it's scare. Last week with Colorado,

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Speaker 2: they looked like they were going to blow them out,

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Speaker 2: and then yeah, they kind of they'll let teams get

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Speaker 2: back in the game, kind of.

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Speaker 1: Like Kansas City Chiefs. Yeah, you know, don't blow anybody out.

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Speaker 2: They score a lot of points and then let other

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Speaker 2: teams score points. Okay, and then LSU minus five and

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Speaker 2: a half against Miszoo. Okay for NFL. I got the

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Speaker 2: Bills minus five against the Jags at nine in the

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Speaker 2: morning or whatever time that is Vikings money line against

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Speaker 2: the Chiefs plus one seventy. I think they're four and

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Speaker 2: a half point dogs afternoon game. This seems like a

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Speaker 2: letdown spot.

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Speaker 1: This is a Kirk Cousins.

220
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Speaker 2: This is a This is a four hundred passing yard

221
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Speaker 2: game for Kurk and Ravens minus four against the Stillers.

222
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Speaker 2: This one gives me pause because Ravens' favorites and in

223
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Speaker 2: Pittsburgh is tough.

224
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Speaker 1: But the Steelers are bad and it's a rivalry game,

225
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Speaker 1: the rivalry game. All Mike Tomlin does is win never

226
00:11:00,440 --> 00:11:03,960
Speaker 1: a losing season see the coaching equivalent or Jimmy Garoppolo.

227
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Speaker 1: That old Jimmy does.

228
00:11:05,120 --> 00:11:08,679
Speaker 2: Is win never anything remarkable except.

229
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Speaker 1: They did win a super Bowl. Yeah after that, I

230
00:11:12,600 --> 00:11:14,600
Speaker 1: went to a super Bowl. It showed out.

231
00:11:14,679 --> 00:11:16,360
Speaker 5: Yeah, wait did he win? Did he win there? With

232
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Speaker 5: Bill Cowers players?

233
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Speaker 1: Correct?

234
00:11:18,440 --> 00:11:18,640
Speaker 2: Yes?

235
00:11:19,520 --> 00:11:25,160
Speaker 1: Correct? Wow? Marv Marvin off the top rope there? I

236
00:11:25,240 --> 00:11:26,920
Speaker 1: don't all right anything else?

237
00:11:27,080 --> 00:11:30,439
Speaker 2: Yeah, So I have the parlay that we also went

238
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Speaker 2: over on the show today. Dan Under in the Red

239
00:11:34,559 --> 00:11:38,280
Speaker 2: River rivalry sixty and a half. This is a big

240
00:11:38,360 --> 00:11:44,679
Speaker 2: time shootout game usually, but I see like ninety people

241
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Speaker 2: are on.

242
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Speaker 1: The over, so I have to on the shootout.

243
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Speaker 2: On the shootout mark, yes on it being a lot

244
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Speaker 2: of points, but it's not a shoot rivalry. It's the shootout.

245
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Speaker 2: The game will be a shootout, right, Okay, Yeah, you're right.

246
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Speaker 2: And Texans Falcons under forty one, Colts Titans under forty three,

247
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Speaker 2: and Cowboys Niners under forty five okay, and then f

248
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Speaker 2: one Dan of course, fresh off the hot week last week,

249
00:12:15,240 --> 00:12:19,920
Speaker 2: Lando Norris podium finished minus one forty Charles Lecree podium

250
00:12:19,960 --> 00:12:23,000
Speaker 2: finished plus three fifty. Yes for there to be a

251
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Speaker 2: safety car minus one seventy five and the winning margin

252
00:12:26,200 --> 00:12:28,520
Speaker 2: between five and ten seconds plus three fifty. And I

253
00:12:28,520 --> 00:12:29,520
Speaker 2: actually won that last time.

254
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Speaker 1: I bet that. Okay, that's in a separate category.

255
00:12:33,640 --> 00:12:35,560
Speaker 2: I believe it or not. Was able to figure out

256
00:12:35,640 --> 00:12:36,840
Speaker 2: the division.

257
00:12:36,440 --> 00:12:41,880
Speaker 1: That there was a separate Yes, unlike bad Larry. That

258
00:12:41,960 --> 00:12:45,480
Speaker 1: seemed like a fake laugh by U, Larry, So it

259
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Speaker 1: was you have something else.

260
00:12:49,240 --> 00:12:51,400
Speaker 2: Yeah. Also, since I mean I already have a tattoo

261
00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:53,319
Speaker 2: on the line, I'm going to do Oklahoma plus six

262
00:12:53,360 --> 00:12:53,960
Speaker 2: and a half.

263
00:12:54,040 --> 00:12:56,400
Speaker 1: For two unitsaging son of a bitch.

264
00:12:57,200 --> 00:12:59,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, I go, I don't. I don't have my bets, Dan,

265
00:12:59,360 --> 00:13:00,440
Speaker 2: I go go in all right?

266
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Speaker 1: Uh shay, Yeah, Danny, got some good old fashioned American

267
00:13:04,720 --> 00:13:07,440
Speaker 1: gambling here for you. I got the Rolling Baptist laying

268
00:13:07,480 --> 00:13:09,880
Speaker 1: three against the hero of Texas. That would be Liberty

269
00:13:09,960 --> 00:13:12,760
Speaker 1: versus Sam Houston. Got. I got hook them dot Com

270
00:13:12,800 --> 00:13:17,119
Speaker 1: back splash my homepage against the meth headscrab b Texas Oklahoma.

271
00:13:17,280 --> 00:13:18,880
Speaker 2: There's no meth in Texas either.

272
00:13:18,720 --> 00:13:20,960
Speaker 1: Texas State not like Oklahoma. You ever been in Oklahoma?

273
00:13:21,040 --> 00:13:22,760
Speaker 1: They got trailers full of that ship. I had a

274
00:13:22,760 --> 00:13:23,599
Speaker 1: whole factory they got it.

275
00:13:23,679 --> 00:13:25,079
Speaker 2: Oh no, I know, I know. It's worse.

276
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Speaker 1: It's way worse, dude. At least we get the cocaine

277
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Speaker 1: stops in Dallas, we just consume it all. And then

278
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Speaker 1: north of that it's all meth.

279
00:13:32,000 --> 00:13:32,560
Speaker 2: It's all meth.

280
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Speaker 1: I thought, it's don't meth with Texas, don't meth. Yeah, okay, Mike,

281
00:13:42,440 --> 00:13:44,720
Speaker 1: Texas State against the double l's plus two and a half.

282
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Speaker 1: I got Pig Sue laying or actually plus eleven and

283
00:13:47,880 --> 00:13:50,599
Speaker 1: a half against the Confederates. And then I got the

284
00:13:50,640 --> 00:13:53,760
Speaker 1: Twinkies plus one thirty six against the Cheaters. Okay, now

285
00:13:53,840 --> 00:13:56,720
Speaker 1: once again that would be in a separate category, correct,

286
00:13:56,760 --> 00:13:59,880
Speaker 1: And I do want to add one NFL bet. I

287
00:14:00,040 --> 00:14:02,200
Speaker 1: didn't like the card whatsoever, but I do like the

288
00:14:02,320 --> 00:14:04,120
Speaker 1: Jags plus five against the josh All.

289
00:14:04,200 --> 00:14:09,400
Speaker 2: Okay, this was a rough uh board week.

290
00:14:09,440 --> 00:14:11,679
Speaker 1: I do too. It's a weird Sunday. It's a weird

291
00:14:12,840 --> 00:14:13,520
Speaker 1: bad Larry.

292
00:14:14,840 --> 00:14:18,000
Speaker 3: Okay, you want college first, Dan, And yes, like the

293
00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:20,440
Speaker 3: first week ever that Dylan and I aren't going against

294
00:14:20,480 --> 00:14:21,720
Speaker 3: each other. And I don't even think Shay and I

295
00:14:21,760 --> 00:14:24,800
Speaker 3: have anything. We're going against christ this week. So I

296
00:14:24,800 --> 00:14:27,560
Speaker 3: got Tech plus six and a half against Western Kentucky.

297
00:14:28,480 --> 00:14:31,160
Speaker 3: I got Texas A and M plus the three against Alabama.

298
00:14:32,120 --> 00:14:36,080
Speaker 1: Oh no, no, it's one and a half and is

299
00:14:36,080 --> 00:14:37,160
Speaker 1: getting one and a half.

300
00:14:37,400 --> 00:14:42,479
Speaker 3: Larry, you know what a little more than that's good.

301
00:14:43,120 --> 00:14:44,600
Speaker 3: Let it's just change that to one and a half

302
00:14:44,600 --> 00:14:48,280
Speaker 3: so I don't mess up next week. Okay plus one

303
00:14:48,280 --> 00:14:48,840
Speaker 3: and a half.

304
00:14:48,880 --> 00:14:52,320
Speaker 1: You can get the lines from Ray before you make

305
00:14:52,360 --> 00:14:53,160
Speaker 1: these picks.

306
00:14:54,640 --> 00:14:56,920
Speaker 3: I sent the pics. I did it this morning before

307
00:14:56,920 --> 00:14:58,320
Speaker 3: I left. It was probably eight o'clock.

308
00:14:58,680 --> 00:15:03,680
Speaker 1: I was up early, Dan, Okay, Rad gets up with

309
00:15:03,760 --> 00:15:04,880
Speaker 1: like fucking five am.

310
00:15:05,920 --> 00:15:09,560
Speaker 3: We were here hours before that, Larry, all Right, I

311
00:15:09,560 --> 00:15:11,320
Speaker 3: saw the little comment about I won't be up till

312
00:15:11,360 --> 00:15:14,320
Speaker 3: ten forty to respond to it. But that's okay. Colorado

313
00:15:14,360 --> 00:15:18,320
Speaker 3: minus the four and a half against Arizona State, and

314
00:15:18,400 --> 00:15:20,000
Speaker 3: I got Notre Dame minus the six and a half

315
00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:20,720
Speaker 3: against Louisville.

316
00:15:20,800 --> 00:15:24,680
Speaker 1: It's six out of that one. There you go.

317
00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:26,480
Speaker 5: Okay.

318
00:15:27,720 --> 00:15:30,040
Speaker 3: Then in the pros, I got the Commander Tonight minus

319
00:15:30,160 --> 00:15:34,000
Speaker 3: five and a half against the Bears, six minus six

320
00:15:34,040 --> 00:15:40,800
Speaker 3: against the Bears, yes, okay. I got the Jets is

321
00:15:40,840 --> 00:15:44,360
Speaker 3: it plus one and a half against the Broncos, Yes, okay.

322
00:15:44,720 --> 00:15:46,360
Speaker 3: I have the Saints plus the same one and a

323
00:15:46,400 --> 00:15:47,480
Speaker 3: half against the Patriots.

324
00:15:47,600 --> 00:15:50,000
Speaker 1: You get one, okay.

325
00:15:51,160 --> 00:15:53,160
Speaker 3: I got the Rams plus four and a half against

326
00:15:53,200 --> 00:15:53,720
Speaker 3: the Eagles.

327
00:15:53,920 --> 00:15:54,280
Speaker 1: Yes.

328
00:15:55,560 --> 00:15:58,200
Speaker 3: And I got the forty nine Ers minus the three

329
00:15:58,240 --> 00:16:01,720
Speaker 3: and a half against Shay's Cowboy Okay, don't blame you.

330
00:16:01,880 --> 00:16:03,360
Speaker 1: That's not a bad bad I don't blame you.

331
00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:03,880
Speaker 5: Okay.

332
00:16:07,040 --> 00:16:09,120
Speaker 2: The Cowboys always get dogged by the Niners, at least

333
00:16:09,160 --> 00:16:09,920
Speaker 2: in recent history.

334
00:16:10,160 --> 00:16:12,760
Speaker 1: Recent fuck recent that's a ninety yeah, dude, or since

335
00:16:13,000 --> 00:16:16,360
Speaker 1: fucking Joe Montana. That stupid catch like it's not it's

336
00:16:16,360 --> 00:16:16,840
Speaker 1: been bad.

337
00:16:16,960 --> 00:16:20,160
Speaker 5: No, no, it's been relaxed.

338
00:16:20,200 --> 00:16:20,440
Speaker 1: Okay.

339
00:16:20,520 --> 00:16:22,400
Speaker 5: You guys won three Super Bowls at the hands of

340
00:16:22,440 --> 00:16:22,920
Speaker 5: the forty.

341
00:16:22,800 --> 00:16:24,720
Speaker 1: Nine, and the one we lost was because we lost

342
00:16:24,760 --> 00:16:26,960
Speaker 1: to the fucking Niners in the NFC Championship game. We

343
00:16:26,960 --> 00:16:29,080
Speaker 1: should have won four in a row. That's because they'll stop.

344
00:16:29,120 --> 00:16:30,760
Speaker 1: That's only because Dion went over there. And you guys

345
00:16:30,760 --> 00:16:33,240
Speaker 1: should have won more because Jerry Jones and Jimmy Johnson

346
00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:35,480
Speaker 1: couldn't you know, Barry Switzer, I could have coached that

347
00:16:35,520 --> 00:16:38,040
Speaker 1: team to two Super Bowls. That's bullshit. Barry Switzer is

348
00:16:38,040 --> 00:16:40,400
Speaker 1: a fucking drunken, a maniac, and he brought a goddamn

349
00:16:40,440 --> 00:16:43,440
Speaker 1: excuse my language, he brought a freaking pistol in his

350
00:16:43,600 --> 00:16:46,760
Speaker 1: carry on bag through DFW airport and nothing ever happened.

351
00:16:46,920 --> 00:16:48,640
Speaker 1: You should get slapped in public if you do some

352
00:16:48,720 --> 00:16:49,520
Speaker 1: dumb shit like that.

353
00:16:49,760 --> 00:16:51,960
Speaker 2: Wait, it all sounds like you google it.

354
00:16:52,040 --> 00:16:54,440
Speaker 5: Hold on DP. That's the first time we've heard out

355
00:16:54,480 --> 00:16:57,480
Speaker 5: of all the cursing. That's when he says, excuse my language.

356
00:16:57,600 --> 00:16:59,960
Speaker 1: Well, I have to be a better example to all you, eh, theist,

357
00:17:00,200 --> 00:17:02,960
Speaker 1: that's the problem. I'm here to. I'm here to prosely

358
00:17:04,280 --> 00:17:05,320
Speaker 1: I gotta preach here?

359
00:17:05,600 --> 00:17:07,400
Speaker 2: Is that what the pamphlets are?

360
00:17:08,920 --> 00:17:11,119
Speaker 1: Fun? Have fun in hell? That's all the paper says,

361
00:17:11,200 --> 00:17:13,359
Speaker 1: have fun in hell. See, shan Irvy, you.

362
00:17:13,359 --> 00:17:15,400
Speaker 2: Can't escape the rats, right right, You're.

363
00:17:15,240 --> 00:17:18,120
Speaker 1: All going to be there together, how nice? And I'll

364
00:17:18,119 --> 00:17:20,240
Speaker 1: be the ones selling air conditioning units in the corner

365
00:17:20,440 --> 00:17:24,240
Speaker 1: that you ain't got no money. You are not going

366
00:17:24,359 --> 00:17:26,680
Speaker 1: to heaven first class ticket, Ninny.

367
00:17:26,640 --> 00:17:28,840
Speaker 2: Now it sounds like you'll be selling fucking AC units

368
00:17:28,840 --> 00:17:29,080
Speaker 2: in hell.

369
00:17:29,160 --> 00:17:32,119
Speaker 1: Yeah, why why are you selling AC in heaven? Well,

370
00:17:32,160 --> 00:17:35,320
Speaker 1: I'm still a capitalist, Danny, not a comedy will you'd

371
00:17:35,320 --> 00:17:37,399
Speaker 1: be selling it in hell? Right, Well, that's where all

372
00:17:37,440 --> 00:17:40,120
Speaker 1: the money is. You have to go weeping and gnashing

373
00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:41,879
Speaker 1: of teeth for eternity, Danny.

374
00:17:42,640 --> 00:17:45,880
Speaker 2: Oh god, honestly it sounds way more fun.

375
00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:49,800
Speaker 1: See you get born again, and then you think born again, Danny,

376
00:17:49,800 --> 00:17:53,080
Speaker 1: it was born into this irving texts. Then you're some

377
00:17:53,160 --> 00:17:56,240
Speaker 1: option we have here, maybe, but but then you you

378
00:17:56,400 --> 00:17:59,000
Speaker 1: end up, you know, washing away all your sins and

379
00:17:59,040 --> 00:18:02,800
Speaker 1: then hallelujah, Yeah, like everything all the bad things you did,

380
00:18:02,840 --> 00:18:04,920
Speaker 1: and you got to do that every morning.

381
00:18:04,880 --> 00:18:09,399
Speaker 2: And wash them away with Yes.

382
00:18:09,240 --> 00:18:12,399
Speaker 5: Marvin, were they allowed to dance in Irving, Texas.

383
00:18:12,600 --> 00:18:16,960
Speaker 1: Uh No, was like yeah, no dancing. There was no booze.

384
00:18:16,960 --> 00:18:17,760
Speaker 1: It was a dry town.

385
00:18:17,920 --> 00:18:18,400
Speaker 5: Only meth.

386
00:18:18,800 --> 00:18:20,760
Speaker 1: There's a lot of cocaine, a whole lot of cocaine,

387
00:18:20,840 --> 00:18:23,440
Speaker 1: a lot of meth, a lot of crack. Fantastic.

388
00:18:23,440 --> 00:18:25,200
Speaker 5: Wait, so no dancing, but there was meth.

389
00:18:25,440 --> 00:18:28,040
Speaker 1: Yeah. Well it wasn't really a med thing back then.

390
00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:29,640
Speaker 1: It was a cocaine thing. You'd get a bird down

391
00:18:29,640 --> 00:18:32,960
Speaker 1: there for twelve and a half. Back then, that ship

392
00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:36,600
Speaker 1: was everywhere, fantastic. A bird, a bird, yeah, A kilo

393
00:18:36,720 --> 00:18:39,639
Speaker 1: A kilo. Yeah, Now you're up here, Danny. We're talking

394
00:18:39,640 --> 00:18:42,080
Speaker 1: thirty three and a half for a kilo. That's ridiculous.

395
00:18:42,119 --> 00:18:46,639
Speaker 1: Thirty three one hundred thirty. Yeah, you chopped that in

396
00:18:46,640 --> 00:18:48,520
Speaker 1: half and started adding a couple of years further from

397
00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:50,480
Speaker 1: the three rocket Marvin, that's what you gotta do.

398
00:18:50,600 --> 00:18:52,720
Speaker 5: Unfortunately, I know people that are in the business also,

399
00:18:52,840 --> 00:18:53,560
Speaker 5: So give.

400
00:18:53,440 --> 00:18:56,000
Speaker 1: Me, give me a twelve ton press and a couple

401
00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:57,679
Speaker 1: of CDs, and I'll make you some money.

402
00:18:58,000 --> 00:18:58,400
Speaker 2: Freezer.

403
00:18:58,520 --> 00:19:01,280
Speaker 1: How did you get in trouble if you grew up

404
00:19:01,320 --> 00:19:04,879
Speaker 1: in a footloose style of parents want very good at

405
00:19:04,920 --> 00:19:07,440
Speaker 1: their job. I mean, that's for sure. I was definitely

406
00:19:07,560 --> 00:19:10,800
Speaker 1: left alone, way too much, kind of just you know,

407
00:19:11,040 --> 00:19:13,040
Speaker 1: daddy ROMs Danny.

408
00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:14,919
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm nerving Texas.

409
00:19:15,040 --> 00:19:19,080
Speaker 1: The crack is fantastic, Yes, crack your sins. Your sins

410
00:19:19,119 --> 00:19:21,920
Speaker 1: have been forgiven already. Absolutely. No, you got to read

411
00:19:21,920 --> 00:19:25,320
Speaker 1: the book, Danny. It gives you all the answers right there.

412
00:19:25,680 --> 00:19:27,600
Speaker 2: I read that book and there's not a goddamn answer

413
00:19:27,680 --> 00:19:28,000
Speaker 2: in there.

414
00:19:28,119 --> 00:19:29,960
Speaker 1: All right, you clearly didn't read the book. Gud.

415
00:19:30,240 --> 00:19:31,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're going to hell.

416
00:19:31,280 --> 00:19:33,960
Speaker 1: Can't wait? Which book? Did you read? The old one

417
00:19:34,040 --> 00:19:37,640
Speaker 1: or the new one? I read the old one. Yeah,

418
00:19:38,920 --> 00:19:39,679
Speaker 1: we're all in trouble.

419
00:19:40,240 --> 00:19:42,160
Speaker 2: I think the old one is the real one, right.

420
00:19:42,400 --> 00:19:43,320
Speaker 1: No, no, it's not.

421
00:19:43,400 --> 00:19:45,440
Speaker 2: Absolutely you may as well read Harry Potter.

422
00:19:45,520 --> 00:19:50,240
Speaker 1: Okay, you know, if you know, the best part is like,

423
00:19:50,280 --> 00:19:52,080
Speaker 1: when I'm in heaven, they're going to play this back

424
00:19:52,119 --> 00:19:54,600
Speaker 1: to me just to make me feel yeah, and they're

425
00:19:54,600 --> 00:19:57,320
Speaker 1: gonna be like they're all in hell. You did so good,

426
00:19:57,880 --> 00:20:00,720
Speaker 1: thank you Jesus. No, but you did do well. If

427
00:20:00,720 --> 00:20:02,760
Speaker 1: we're all in hell. No, I did great. What do

428
00:20:02,760 --> 00:20:06,320
Speaker 1: you mean I didn't succumb. I didn't succumb to the backwards,

429
00:20:06,600 --> 00:20:10,119
Speaker 1: but you didn't help us bring out I tried. I tried.

430
00:20:10,160 --> 00:20:11,040
Speaker 1: You're all quitters.

431
00:20:11,240 --> 00:20:15,800
Speaker 5: That's a problem, big part of Christianity. You got a witness, amen? Yeah,

432
00:20:15,960 --> 00:20:19,879
Speaker 5: so put on like uh that Jesus h Latter Day Saints.

433
00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:23,919
Speaker 1: No, whoa whoa whoa whoa. Apostates, Apostles do not do that.

434
00:20:23,960 --> 00:20:26,320
Speaker 1: Why do you think Mitt Romney lost the election? He's

435
00:20:26,359 --> 00:20:29,199
Speaker 1: an apostate evangelical wouldn't give it around him because he

436
00:20:29,280 --> 00:20:31,879
Speaker 1: doesn't make any sense. Mormons think, Danny, you're gonna get

437
00:20:31,920 --> 00:20:35,399
Speaker 1: mad at this. Mormons think that God is a counsel

438
00:20:35,480 --> 00:20:37,600
Speaker 1: of God's and that when you die, you can go

439
00:20:37,680 --> 00:20:40,840
Speaker 1: to your own planet. And they also wear special underwear

440
00:20:40,920 --> 00:20:44,280
Speaker 1: when they go on their ceremonies. Danny, it is you know,

441
00:20:44,280 --> 00:20:45,320
Speaker 1: they're going to hell.

442
00:20:45,240 --> 00:20:49,040
Speaker 2: Danny, And that sounds way less plausible than the other

443
00:20:49,200 --> 00:20:49,640
Speaker 2: on te.

444
00:20:49,680 --> 00:20:52,200
Speaker 1: See, I think I'd be like Jim Baker with Jessica Haun,

445
00:20:52,920 --> 00:20:54,879
Speaker 1: I would too. What do you mean, Yeah, Jim Baker's

446
00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:59,320
Speaker 1: going to heaven hundred percent. He might have been a crook,

447
00:20:59,359 --> 00:21:03,720
Speaker 1: but the guy believes even Jim Baker. Y'all are judgmental.

448
00:21:03,800 --> 00:21:07,400
Speaker 1: Let me tell you, yes, but there's a final judgment day.

449
00:21:07,760 --> 00:21:09,520
Speaker 1: It's not my job I'm to help.

450
00:21:09,680 --> 00:21:12,040
Speaker 2: If you believe, can you do as much bad ship

451
00:21:12,119 --> 00:21:12,600
Speaker 2: as you want?

452
00:21:13,080 --> 00:21:15,040
Speaker 1: Well, it depends on what you want. What does that

453
00:21:15,080 --> 00:21:17,880
Speaker 1: mean you want? Like if you're a flawed man. We're

454
00:21:17,880 --> 00:21:20,719
Speaker 1: all flawed people, we all believe that, right, But if

455
00:21:20,720 --> 00:21:23,520
Speaker 1: you're continuously being a dirt bag for fun just so

456
00:21:23,560 --> 00:21:25,680
Speaker 1: you can repent later at night, No, that ain't. That

457
00:21:25,720 --> 00:21:27,240
Speaker 1: ain't genuine. They ain't falling for that ship.

458
00:21:27,680 --> 00:21:32,320
Speaker 2: Smarter than if Bill Cosby was like, whoa, you know,

459
00:21:32,440 --> 00:21:35,520
Speaker 2: all of a sudden, I turned myself over to God.

460
00:21:35,600 --> 00:21:40,640
Speaker 1: After raping all those womens. Yeah, go to prison to prison.

461
00:21:40,680 --> 00:21:43,280
Speaker 2: Right, and then got out on a technicality? Did he

462
00:21:43,760 --> 00:21:45,879
Speaker 2: you don't remember, I don't remember why you got They

463
00:21:45,880 --> 00:21:49,679
Speaker 2: were like, they used uh this evidence in the civil

464
00:21:49,760 --> 00:21:52,080
Speaker 2: case that in the deal was basically like if they

465
00:21:52,160 --> 00:21:54,880
Speaker 2: used it for that, they wouldn't it would be inadmissible

466
00:21:54,920 --> 00:21:56,840
Speaker 2: in the criminal case. And they use it anyways, then

467
00:21:56,840 --> 00:21:58,240
Speaker 2: they just dug it out.

468
00:21:58,320 --> 00:21:59,280
Speaker 1: D A just fucked up.

469
00:21:59,320 --> 00:22:00,639
Speaker 2: They just fucked up, and he walked.

470
00:22:00,840 --> 00:22:04,200
Speaker 5: Yes, Mark, there's so much to use tomorrow for the show.

471
00:22:05,080 --> 00:22:06,600
Speaker 5: There's just so much we can use, right.

472
00:22:06,640 --> 00:22:08,960
Speaker 2: Clip Shy say saying Bill Cosby's going to heaven.

473
00:22:09,480 --> 00:22:11,800
Speaker 1: No, I didn't say that. I never said going to heaven.

474
00:22:12,040 --> 00:22:12,480
Speaker 2: You just did.

475
00:22:12,600 --> 00:22:18,560
Speaker 1: He probably is more banter like this Shaye and Irvings podcast.

476
00:22:18,880 --> 00:22:22,000
Speaker 1: It's available wherever you get your podcast. Yeah, it's gonna

477
00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:27,080
Speaker 1: get word the evangelical that you Yeah, hallelujah. Yeah that's me.

478
00:22:27,320 --> 00:22:29,280
Speaker 2: They're like crucifixes and over your house.

479
00:22:29,280 --> 00:22:31,600
Speaker 1: Absolutely not, that's a that's an idolatry. We don't do

480
00:22:31,640 --> 00:22:32,000
Speaker 1: that ship.

481
00:22:32,080 --> 00:22:32,760
Speaker 2: That's false idol.

482
00:22:32,800 --> 00:22:35,680
Speaker 1: Absolutely right. Yeah. That's in the Bible several times, not

483
00:22:35,760 --> 00:22:37,760
Speaker 1: just the Tech Commandments. It's in there several times oldly

484
00:22:37,800 --> 00:22:40,720
Speaker 1: in new Larry, Larry, anything you need to say before

485
00:22:40,760 --> 00:22:42,199
Speaker 1: we say goodbye. I know you're on the road to

486
00:22:42,240 --> 00:22:43,680
Speaker 1: main I'm just.

487
00:22:43,600 --> 00:22:46,560
Speaker 3: Started driving again. No, all you gotta do is repent

488
00:22:46,680 --> 00:22:52,720
Speaker 3: right before you die and all that stuff to be forgiven. Say,

489
00:22:52,840 --> 00:22:53,720
Speaker 3: I'll meet you in heaven.

490
00:22:54,119 --> 00:22:56,600
Speaker 1: Thank you. I can't wait to see you. Sure that

491
00:22:56,840 --> 00:22:58,800
Speaker 1: I can't wait to see you.

492
00:22:59,359 --> 00:23:02,240
Speaker 2: Amendy's version of hell is getting there and see.

493
00:23:05,880 --> 00:23:08,880
Speaker 1: All the escalator up. What the fuck are you doing here? Man?

494
00:23:09,040 --> 00:23:12,040
Speaker 2: You two are gonna playing shuffleboard for all of eternity.

495
00:23:12,880 --> 00:23:18,200
Speaker 1: Thank you, Larry. A pleasure, guys, Enjoy Larry It's Bad,

496
00:23:18,320 --> 00:23:20,960
Speaker 1: Larry on the Road, Shay and Irving Podcast wherever you

497
00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:24,719
Speaker 1: get your podcasts for a Dylan the Graphics Guy, Marvin Picture,

498
00:23:24,800 --> 00:23:28,680
Speaker 1: de Ray, Shae and Irving. I'm Dan Patrick. Dan Patrick

499
00:23:28,760 --> 00:23:35,520
Speaker 1: takes a gamble. We'll talk to you next week.