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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Jonnas is Sam your og Okay Storytime

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Speaker 1: podcast hosts. We have some great stories coming up, but.

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Speaker 2: Before that, we have a quick two minute break from

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Speaker 2: the sponsors that keep the show alive.

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Speaker 3: My husband's ex showed up after years to tell him

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Speaker 3: he has a daughter. Oh surprise, surprise. My husband twenty

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Speaker 3: seven male and I twenty seven female, got into a

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Speaker 3: long distance relationship on October sixteenth, twenty twenty two, until

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Speaker 3: he moved from Florida to Kansas to be with my

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Speaker 3: son and me. Everything was perfect until a few months

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Speaker 3: ago when we found out that I can't have more

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Speaker 3: kids and I actually needed to be scheduled for a

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Speaker 3: medically necessary HYS directed me in early twenty twenty five.

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Speaker 3: Oh wow. By the way, this comes from Capital Monitor

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Speaker 3: four four five five And if you want to submit

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Speaker 3: your own stories, go to the r slash Okay Storytime Separate.

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Speaker 3: I'm Sophia, and I'm Anjie and I'm Keon, and we're

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Speaker 3: here to give good advice. You flee, but we don't

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Speaker 3: have all the answers. We only know what we'd do,

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Speaker 3: So let's know what you would do in the comments.

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Speaker 3: And OPI says, well, today my husband's ex called me.

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Speaker 3: I didn't know it was her until I answered, and

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Speaker 3: she told me that her two year old daughter is

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Speaker 3: my husband's. She was conceived two months before my husband

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Speaker 3: and I got together. She's in Florida. I'm not able

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Speaker 3: to move to Florida due to my son's dad living here.

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Speaker 3: I feel like the only option at this point is divorce.

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Speaker 3: I won't leave my son behind to move to Florida,

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Speaker 3: and I would never expect my husband to stay in

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Speaker 3: Kansas and not be there to raise his daughter. I

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Speaker 3: can't explain the amount of sadness I feel. I never

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Speaker 3: in a million years saw this coming. I don't even

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Speaker 3: know what to do at this point. We're absolutely doing

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Speaker 3: a paternity test before anything, as I can one hundred

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Speaker 3: percent see it being her trying to get him back,

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Speaker 3: but the resemblance between the two is uncanny. In any case,

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Speaker 3: her not telling him for two years is absolutely disgusting

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Speaker 3: in my opinion. As someone with a kid, I could

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Speaker 3: never imagine hiding a child from their father unless the

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Speaker 3: father is violent, and my husband has never even once

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Speaker 3: raised his voice and me or my son. So Reddit

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Speaker 3: what should I do? And there are some relevant comments

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Speaker 3: Folks did Opie's husband know about his daughter, op says

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Speaker 3: he had no clue about her. He didn't even know

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Speaker 3: she had another baby. She says she didn't tell him

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Speaker 3: due to him being harmful, which I am not her,

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Speaker 3: so I don't know what she went through with him

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Speaker 3: except what he told me, and I won't speak for her,

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Speaker 3: but he has never even once raised his voice at me. Again,

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Speaker 3: I'm not her, so I can't say she's right or wrong. Ope.

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Speaker 3: On the timeline of when her husband was with the

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Speaker 3: X and the possibility of the child being conceived during

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Speaker 3: his relationship with his ex, op says they broke up

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Speaker 3: December twenty twenty one, but hooked up a handful of

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Speaker 3: times after. We are absolutely going to be doing a

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Speaker 3: paternity test before anything. Opi clarifies the details regarding the

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Speaker 3: relationship between her husband and her son. Opie says, he's

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Speaker 3: not the father of my son, but he's been in

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Speaker 3: his life since right before he turned too. He hasn't

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Speaker 3: said much so far, and I'm not pushing anything. He

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Speaker 3: just found out he's been on the road. He's a

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Speaker 3: truck driver, so I'm sure his head is just spinning.

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Speaker 3: I'll talk about it with him tomorrow. Opi responds to

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Speaker 3: multiple comments about divorcing her husband. I've responded many times

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Speaker 3: to this question. No, I was not going to divorce

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Speaker 3: my husband because he has a child. I was not

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Speaker 3: going to divorce my husband willingly period. As mentioned many times,

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Speaker 3: I was worried that he wouldn't be able to see

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Speaker 3: his daughter while living in Kansas and would have to

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Speaker 3: leave us to go be a father to his daughter,

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Speaker 3: who deserves her father just as much as any other kid.

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Speaker 3: I posted here to make sure I didn't ignore my

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Speaker 3: husband's feelings and emotion. I've been there for him and

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Speaker 3: many and made him the priority here. I've stated this

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Speaker 3: many times. Additional information, Opie says, we've slept, we've talked,

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Speaker 3: and everything is okay at this time. We've contacted a

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Speaker 3: lawyer and are going to start the paternity process. We

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Speaker 3: were able to get it in writing from his ex

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Speaker 3: to him that she had no intentions of ever telling him,

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Speaker 3: did not want him in her life, and is not

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Speaker 3: going to share her daughter with him. The lawyer we

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Speaker 3: talked to said there's definitely a chance he can have

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Speaker 3: his parenting time in Kansas if he's the dad is

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Speaker 3: especially since she admitted she hid the daughter from him

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Speaker 3: and didn't tell him until he had already been settled

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Speaker 3: in Kansas for two years with a solid job, a wife,

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Speaker 3: and a stepchild. And there is another update two days later.

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Speaker 3: We talked with and hired an attorney yesterday. She will

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Speaker 3: be served more than likely this week, and we will

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Speaker 3: first schedule the paternity test if it comes back. If

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Speaker 3: it comes back that he's the father, then then they

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Speaker 3: will determine custody and child support. He said it should

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Speaker 3: be a very quick process as Florida is a fifty

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Speaker 3: to fifty state and it's extremely rare for a judge

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Speaker 3: to even consider negotiating with either party as long as

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Speaker 3: both parents seem fit, especially since he didn't know these

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Speaker 3: past two years and has it in writing that she

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Speaker 3: never planned to tell him out of spite. The judge

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Speaker 3: will have little to know sympathy for anything she says.

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Speaker 3: The attorney said the most likely and typical scenario he

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Speaker 3: sees in situations like this is his daughter spending one

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Speaker 3: week in the spring, five weeks in the summer, and

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Speaker 3: two weeks in the fall with us in Kansas, and

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Speaker 3: every other holiday. The attorney said, there will not be

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Speaker 3: any need to relocate. OHP clarifies on how long she

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Speaker 3: has known her husband. Opie says, I have known this

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Speaker 3: man for eight years. We have spent many vacations with

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Speaker 3: him and his family in Florida in the past eight years.

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Speaker 3: He's known my son since my son was four months old.

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Speaker 3: We didn't start a romantic relationship until October of twenty

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Speaker 3: twenty two. Ope on the ex's family and how old

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Speaker 3: the other kids are, op says she has two other kids,

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Speaker 3: totaling three baby daddies, and the first two are in Florida.

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Speaker 3: I'm honestly not one hundred percent sure. I've never asked.

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Speaker 3: I do know that my husband left her in twenty

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Speaker 3: twenty one. The kid in question was from a random hookup,

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Speaker 3: and she had both kids already. I'd say the younger

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Speaker 3: one is probably four to five. Has op seen the

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Speaker 3: pictures of the girl and if there are any resemblances

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Speaker 3: between her husband and the child, which we already learned

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Speaker 3: there were, op says, after seeing more pictures, the resemblance

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Speaker 3: is not uncanny. I don't see much of him in

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Speaker 3: her at all. Oh didn't she say at the beginning,

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Speaker 3: like thee some resemblance, I actually don't remember.

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Speaker 4: I was just agreeing with you before. I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 4: we're sure that.

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Speaker 3: She said in the beginning, like I see some resemblance.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I cannot confirm, but I believe interesting.

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Speaker 3: I think my brain was just forcing me to believe it, okay,

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Speaker 3: and that made me think they're super similar. So he

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Speaker 3: was just like they look exactly alive, and she's she's like, well,

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Speaker 3: actually that's just a baby.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, actually two year olds just kind of Actually the

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Speaker 5: baby just has skin and hair.

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Speaker 4: Right.

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Speaker 3: Update two four days later, final update for now. So

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Speaker 3: much was uncovered today and if you guys thought the

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Speaker 3: situation was sus before, man, you're in for a surprise.

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Speaker 3: But as of this evening, the case is officially open

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Speaker 3: and a summons has been issued. So I'm going to

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Speaker 3: stay quiet until this is over, just in case. Once

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Speaker 3: everything is finalized, no matter how it may be finalized,

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Speaker 3: I will create a new thread with an actual final

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Speaker 3: update three months later. It's been a roller coaster the

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Speaker 3: last three months, but by hopefully next week, we will

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Speaker 3: officially have answers. DNA tests were done yesterday. They said

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Speaker 3: results typically take three to five business days, but since

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Speaker 3: they were done in two different states expect closer to

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Speaker 3: five to eight business days. In the last three months,

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Speaker 3: there have been a million new things come out in

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Speaker 3: a million different stories. She and my husband had talked

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Speaker 3: quite a bit until things hit the fan recently. She

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Speaker 3: and I also talked quite a bit for a while.

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Speaker 3: It was all friendly. She would text her call us frequently,

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Speaker 3: and my husband and I agreed to keep peace since

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Speaker 3: she could potentially be a part of our lives for

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Speaker 3: a long time. It turns out she did tell my

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Speaker 3: husband she was pregnant prior to him and me getting together.

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Speaker 3: She said the baby was probably not his. He asked

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Speaker 3: if they could meet up and talk, and a couple

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Speaker 3: of days later, she texted him saying she doesn't want it.

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Speaker 3: They did not talk again. After the conversation, she admitted

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Speaker 3: to me that she decided against terminating it, and she

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Speaker 3: told me that she was going to tell him that

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Speaker 3: she did go through with terminating the baby because she

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Speaker 3: felt they wouldn't be able to cope parent. Well, oh wow,

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Speaker 3: the daughter has another man's last name, and that man

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Speaker 3: is on the birth certificate. Even though she has told

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Speaker 3: my husband over a dozen times in the past three

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Speaker 3: months that she has always known the daughter was my husband.

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Speaker 3: There's a ton more, but I don't want to make

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Speaker 3: this post six hours long. My husband's attorney is sent

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Speaker 3: in proposed orders already in the case that paternity comes

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Speaker 3: back positive, so they can jump right back in. In

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Speaker 3: his proposed orders, he's put in fifty to fifty legal

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Speaker 3: and physical custody until she starts school after a few

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Speaker 3: months of visitations to let the daughter get to know

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Speaker 3: my husband. He also included that my husband will fly

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Speaker 3: with the child both ways, no child support if granted

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Speaker 3: fifty to fifty custody, physical custody, and no back child support.

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Speaker 3: As she has said multiple times that she never intended

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Speaker 3: on telling him he has a child, and since there

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Speaker 3: was another guy supporting the child these last two years,

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Speaker 3: per her, he is still active in the child's life

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Speaker 3: even though they aren't together. I also proposed that my

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Speaker 3: husband carries the child on health insurance. My husband's name

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Speaker 3: goes on the birth certificate and the daughter's last name

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Speaker 3: is changed to my husband's name. His attorney has also

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Speaker 3: talked about filing paternity fraud charges against her, since she

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Speaker 3: has stated many times that she is always known, but

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Speaker 3: she didn't want to co parent with him, so she

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Speaker 3: chose to put a different guy on the birth certificate,

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Speaker 3: which caused my husband to miss out on two years

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Speaker 3: of his potential child's life. If paternity comes back negative,

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Speaker 3: his attorney is requesting she pays us back all the

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Speaker 3: legal fees due to frivolous litigation. My emotions are insane

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Speaker 3: right now waiting on these results. I of course would

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Speaker 3: love and accept the child. If she is my husband's,

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Speaker 3: she would be accepted into our family immediately and treated

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Speaker 3: and loved the same as my biological child. But the

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Speaker 3: exes texted my husband about how much she still loves him,

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Speaker 3: how she always will. She has also texted and called

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Speaker 3: me many times saying she feels bad our marriage has end.

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Speaker 3: It isn't going down, that's crazy. She's texted Opie multiple

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Speaker 3: times and called being like, hey, Op, I'm so sorry.

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Speaker 3: I feel so bad that your husband's gonna leave you

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Speaker 3: for me. Just oh man, it sucks, and op He's like, yeah, okay, yeah,

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Speaker 3: right right. I really don't believe this woman at all.

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Speaker 3: I do not either. She's gonna be a tough one

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Speaker 3: to cope with if this child is his, But that's

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Speaker 3: not the child's fault, and no matter what, we will

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Speaker 3: get through it. Additional information from Ope Opi says, adding

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Speaker 3: to this, my husband and I tried for a baby

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Speaker 3: for almost a year before searing. Before seeing a fertility specialist.

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Speaker 3: He did two semen analysises and both came back one

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Speaker 3: hundred percent sterile, literally nothing due to a chromosome in version.

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Speaker 3: Doesn't mean it couldn't have happened, but unlikely. Is Opie's

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Speaker 3: husband able to have children. We already know that he

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Speaker 3: is not. And when was the girl conceived? Opie says

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Speaker 3: as of August is, twenty twenty four, he cannot have

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Speaker 3: biological children. Both analysis a month apart, just came back

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Speaker 3: with literally zero baby juice count azuspermia IVF wasn't an

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Speaker 3: option because there was no baby juice to use unless

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Speaker 3: be used a donor. Also, I had a hysterectomy last

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Speaker 3: month due to medical issues, so even donor baby juice

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Speaker 3: isn't an option. So they cannot have kids, which makes

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Speaker 3: the situation ten times worse because either one he has

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Speaker 3: a daughter and missed out on the first two years

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Speaker 3: of her life, or two she made him think he

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Speaker 3: has a biological child that he will never have and

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Speaker 3: it was all just a game that both of those

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Speaker 3: are terrible. Yeah, both of those are bad options.

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Speaker 4: I need the results.

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Speaker 3: I need them now. Oh P says the child was

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Speaker 3: conceived in the summer of twenty twenty two. Yeah, so

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Speaker 3: this is yeah, good adding up, so twenty twenty it's

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Speaker 3: probably twenty twenty five. Now they've known for a year.

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Speaker 3: Had the kid twenty twenty three, so yeah, so and

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Speaker 3: then they were trying, so they've known for a year.

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Speaker 3: They were trying for a year, so they've probably been

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Speaker 3: trying since twenty twenty three. Yeah, and the kid was

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Speaker 3: born or it was conceived summer of twenty twenty two.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, and they were together twenty twenty two, so yeah,

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Speaker 5: you know, unless one he like just became sterile and

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Speaker 5: he cheated.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and you know that it's his, but I don't

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Speaker 3: think so. I don't buy it. There is a little

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Speaker 3: bit left to this story. Any final thoughts, and guys,

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Speaker 3: we do have a fourth update four days later, but

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Speaker 3: any final thoughts.

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Speaker 5: I just really hope this update has the actual paternity results. Yeah,

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Speaker 5: after all of this back and forth of like, yeah,

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Speaker 5: it's probably not Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I need to know. I need to know. Sure, But

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Speaker 3: there is an update four days later. Folks, are you

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Speaker 3: ready for this? I'm so ready for this. Paternity tests

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Speaker 3: are back zero percent probability. My husband is the father.

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Speaker 3: Let's go as I suspected. Hi, my goodness, comment. What

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Speaker 3: did the ex say about the results? Oh, pie says,

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Speaker 3: since my husband paid for all three tests, she didn't

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Speaker 3: get the results. Oh, he sent them to her and

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Speaker 3: she never replied. We will be taking her to court

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Speaker 3: for attorney fees and all communication is ten thousand percent done. Wow,

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Speaker 3: that is amazing, great job. Yeah, I get sewer. Yeah, friackingsueer.

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Speaker 5: So you got roped into all this mess. Yeah, that's

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Speaker 5: a crazy story for later.

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Speaker 3: So crazy is she a rat? Because you should sewer?

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Speaker 3: And that's the end of this story. We're gonna go

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Speaker 3: on to the next one.

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Speaker 6: My husband has become pathetic and now I want to

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Speaker 6: end everything.

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Speaker 3: You're a loser, baby.

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Speaker 6: We're both early thirties, married, no kids. We own a

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Speaker 6: house together. Mortgage. My husband worked for the same company

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Speaker 6: for almost a decade. Hearing a good salary, but the

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Speaker 6: last few years were rough on him thanks to his

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Speaker 6: overbearing boss. He just got quitting every so off. And

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Speaker 6: while I was open to the idea as long as

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Speaker 6: he had another job lined up. By the way, this

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Speaker 6: comes from feel good and if you want to spit

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Speaker 6: your own stories, go to the r slash okay story

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Speaker 6: on subredits.

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Speaker 3: I'm Riley, I'm Sophia, I'm Carly, and we're here to.

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Speaker 6: Give good advice. Goofully. But we don't have all the answers.

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Speaker 6: We only know what we do know, So let us

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Speaker 6: know what you know. In the comments below, Opie says

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Speaker 6: while last year he quit spur of the moment over

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Speaker 6: a seemingly minor dispute at work. He would later call

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Speaker 6: it the straw that broke the camel's back. No other

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Speaker 6: jobs lined up, nothing. He assured me that he had

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Speaker 6: savings he could live on and that he wanted to

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Speaker 6: take some time to recalibrate. He also had a few

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Speaker 6: business ideas he wanted to pursue before getting back into

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Speaker 6: the workforce. Trying to be a supportive partner, I said, Okay.

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Speaker 6: Fast forward to today. He has no income and literally

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Speaker 6: has it sent out a single job application. He hasn't

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Speaker 6: even updated his resume. What has he been doing that

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Speaker 6: past eight months? You ask smoking the devil's lettice, That's ridiculous,

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Speaker 6: a bunch of scammy work from home bs that hasn't

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Speaker 6: made him a dime, and most recently, trying to become

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Speaker 6: an Instagram influencer. Yes, seriously. To be fair, he has

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Speaker 6: also done some handiwork around the house and fixed up

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Speaker 6: some things, but for the most part, he spends his

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Speaker 6: days smoking the devil's lettuce and weanering around on Instagram.

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Speaker 6: I'm effectively subsizing it. We used to be fifty to fifty,

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Speaker 6: Now it's more like eighty twenty.

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Speaker 3: The last time I.

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Speaker 6: Tried to have a serious talk about his future plans,

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Speaker 6: he jokingly said I could divorce him and pay him

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Speaker 6: alimony if I didn't like the current situation. Then he

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Speaker 6: broke down and wept, saying he might be depressed. I

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Speaker 6: felt horrible and offered him my full support and retrospective.

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Speaker 6: I'm curious if it was just a convenient excuse to

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Speaker 6: pivot the conversation and get me off his back. What

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Speaker 6: would you do in my shoe? I've grown resentful of

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Speaker 6: him in this whole situation. Tom's come under one. If

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Speaker 6: he thinks he has depression, then he needs to see

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Speaker 6: a doctor and get help. It only gets harder alone.

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Speaker 6: I'd see how that goes first, because it might get

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Speaker 6: him back on his feet. If he declines that it

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Speaker 6: won't change, you can't change him, Hope. He says, Oh,

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Speaker 6: that's a whole other issue. He reads some book last

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Speaker 6: year and now he doesn't believe in antidepressants or thinks

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Speaker 6: that they are way over prescribed. When he told me

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Speaker 6: he was depressed, I suggested seeing a doctor. He said, no,

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Speaker 6: he'll figure it out himself and just help be there

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Speaker 6: for him coming here two. Honestly, he sounds more like

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Speaker 6: a punk than he does a grown man. It's one

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Speaker 6: thing to not work if you're a stay at home parent,

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Speaker 6: et cetera. A completely other thing if you're just a

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Speaker 6: lazy bumb dudes taking advantage of the situation, and quite

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Speaker 6: frankly you Hope. He says he wasn't always like this,

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Speaker 6: He was responsible and hard working before he quit. But

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Speaker 6: I agree. I feel like I'm being taken advantage of

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Speaker 6: is opie Hope. He says. I work full time. I

336
00:17:02,520 --> 00:17:05,720
Speaker 6: make a decent income, but if my husband can't contribute

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Speaker 6: anything toward our monthly expenses, I don't make enough to

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Speaker 6: cover them totally myself. We got an update Six days later,

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Speaker 6: on the day I made my last post, my husband

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Speaker 6: and I had a talk that night when I got

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Speaker 6: home from work. I basically said he needed to make

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Speaker 6: a doctor's appointment for his mental health, or cut off

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Speaker 6: the devil's lettice use or both. He repeatedly refused and

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Speaker 6: actually got a bit hostile about it, which is not

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Speaker 6: like him at all. I moved on to finances. I

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00:17:32,880 --> 00:17:35,880
Speaker 6: asked how much of his savings he had left, and

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Speaker 6: all he said was enough. I pressed him for a

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Speaker 6: dollar figure and he wouldn't answer. I asked if he

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Speaker 6: had a balance on his credit card, and he said no.

350
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Speaker 6: When I asked to see his bank statement to confirm,

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Speaker 6: he basically told me to f off again, hostile and

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Speaker 6: outright out of character of him. I told him that

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Speaker 6: the current arrangement wasn't working and that he'd have to

354
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Speaker 6: start paying fifty percent of the bills on March for

355
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Speaker 6: At this point in the conversation, he completely shut down.

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Speaker 6: He wouldn't even look at me. He just sat there,

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Speaker 6: looking away from me with tears in his eyes as

358
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Speaker 6: I talked. I doubt he even heard a word I said,

359
00:18:12,320 --> 00:18:15,200
Speaker 6: but I clearly stated all the other issues I had

360
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Speaker 6: the Instagram stuff, our plans for the future, et cetera.

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Speaker 6: After this conversation, he stopped sleeping in our bed. For

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Speaker 6: almost a week now, he slept in the basement. He

363
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Speaker 6: basically doesn't leave the basement when I'm home unless he's

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00:18:29,200 --> 00:18:33,120
Speaker 6: to go get food. Honestly, it's pathetic. I'm going out

365
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Speaker 6: with some colleagues this weekend for a fun night and

366
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Speaker 6: my husband stay home like a hermit. I also have

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Speaker 6: a coffee date plan for Sunday with my best friend.

368
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Speaker 6: I'm going to tell her everything and get her opinion,

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Speaker 6: because honestly, this is in the life I want to

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Speaker 6: live in. Trying to correct it only made things worse.

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Speaker 6: I'm beginning to think of divorce as a real option,

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Speaker 6: which would have seemed outrageous even three weeks ago.

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Speaker 3: I think that, I honestly think you've given him your ultimatum. Uh,

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Speaker 3: you're at least not even an ultimatum. You've given him

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Speaker 3: a timeline of saying, hey, you have you know this

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Speaker 3: amount of time, and then you gotta and I can't

377
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Speaker 3: let you keep coasting.

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Speaker 6: Yeah. Anyways, update two two months later, who my husband

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Speaker 6: continues to sleep in the basement? I asked him a

380
00:19:18,320 --> 00:19:20,760
Speaker 6: few times to start sleeping in our bed again, he

381
00:19:20,800 --> 00:19:24,400
Speaker 6: said maybe, but never actually does it. We stopped having

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Speaker 6: spicy sleep entirely, but I've heard him watch corn in

383
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Speaker 6: the basement. On the morning of March first, we had

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Speaker 6: a horrible argument. When I asked him for his half

385
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Speaker 6: of the bills monthly. He he he transferred me about

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Speaker 6: two third of what he should have, and when I

387
00:19:38,720 --> 00:19:41,880
Speaker 6: asked him for the rest, he exploded. He just kept

388
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Speaker 6: saying f off, louder and louder over and over as

389
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Speaker 6: I tried to say that he needed to contribute his

390
00:19:50,040 --> 00:19:53,920
Speaker 6: fair share, and he started talking about his depression again. Literally,

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Speaker 6: the only time he will bring up his depression is

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Speaker 6: when I'm criticizing his crappy life choices. He hasn't even

393
00:20:00,119 --> 00:20:03,439
Speaker 6: seeing a doctor or been diagnosed yet he uses it

394
00:20:03,520 --> 00:20:05,959
Speaker 6: like a get out of jail free card and to

395
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Speaker 6: be totally unproductive and not pay his bills.

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Speaker 3: Also, just to be clear, even if he did have

397
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Speaker 3: depression and it was diagnosed, that does not give him

398
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Speaker 3: It explains things, but it doesn't give him a get

399
00:20:18,520 --> 00:20:21,240
Speaker 3: out of jail free card to just not contribute and

400
00:20:21,280 --> 00:20:23,520
Speaker 3: also not to get help, because that's the issue here.

401
00:20:23,640 --> 00:20:26,200
Speaker 3: He's not doing anything to improve his lifestyle or get

402
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Speaker 3: help for what he says is his depression.

403
00:20:29,320 --> 00:20:31,280
Speaker 6: Yokes, I used to be a friend to a guy

404
00:20:31,359 --> 00:20:34,359
Speaker 6: like this. Yeah, every time I'd leave hanging out with

405
00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:35,480
Speaker 6: him felt horrible.

406
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Speaker 3: Yeah, he just doesn't. I don't know. It doesn't make

407
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Speaker 3: anyone else want to be around you if you're acting

408
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Speaker 3: like this guy.

409
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Speaker 6: So I told him point blank, either see a doctor

410
00:20:44,119 --> 00:20:46,919
Speaker 6: for your depression and start fixing your life, or this

411
00:20:47,119 --> 00:20:50,680
Speaker 6: marriage is over. Sounded so harsh, but those are honestly

412
00:20:50,880 --> 00:20:53,199
Speaker 6: the only two options at this point. He made some

413
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Speaker 6: quip about me paying him alimony if I divorce him.

414
00:20:56,800 --> 00:20:59,480
Speaker 6: Not the first time he said this, and that was

415
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Speaker 6: the last we spoke of it. We have briefly seen

416
00:21:02,440 --> 00:21:04,800
Speaker 6: and talked to each other since then, but there is

417
00:21:04,880 --> 00:21:08,639
Speaker 6: no warmth there anymore. Psych where roommates. Last week he

418
00:21:08,680 --> 00:21:10,639
Speaker 6: told me he booked a doctor's appointment, and I was

419
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Speaker 6: happy for him, but as far as I can tell,

420
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Speaker 6: he never ended up going, even after I offered to

421
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Speaker 6: take the day off and drive him to the appointment.

422
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Speaker 6: I don't think he's left the house over two months.

423
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Speaker 6: I have now stopped cooking his mills, so he now

424
00:21:24,240 --> 00:21:28,320
Speaker 6: eats only instant noodles he bought off Amazon. I met

425
00:21:28,359 --> 00:21:30,720
Speaker 6: with a divorce lawyer for the first time earlier this week.

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Speaker 4: Nice.

427
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Speaker 6: He was excellent and gave me a comprehensive rundown of

428
00:21:34,400 --> 00:21:36,760
Speaker 6: all my options. When I told him about my husband's

429
00:21:36,760 --> 00:21:39,399
Speaker 6: alimony comments, he laughed and said, not a chance. He

430
00:21:39,480 --> 00:21:42,640
Speaker 6: voluntarily quit his job against my wishes, and he has

431
00:21:42,720 --> 00:21:46,520
Speaker 6: no official diagnosis from a doctor that would preclude him

432
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Speaker 6: from working. I don't know where he got this in

433
00:21:49,440 --> 00:21:52,439
Speaker 6: his head that he'd be entitled to alimony from me.

434
00:21:52,840 --> 00:21:55,439
Speaker 6: I'm holding on to a shred of hope that my

435
00:21:55,560 --> 00:21:59,240
Speaker 6: husband will put forth some kind of effort to get

436
00:21:59,240 --> 00:22:03,240
Speaker 6: better and repair our relationship. I pray every night that'll

437
00:22:03,320 --> 00:22:06,520
Speaker 6: do a complete oneint eighty and start being his normal

438
00:22:06,560 --> 00:22:09,520
Speaker 6: self again. But if nothing changes, I plan to meet

439
00:22:09,560 --> 00:22:13,280
Speaker 6: with my lawyer again sometime in early April and officially

440
00:22:13,840 --> 00:22:17,400
Speaker 6: file for divorce. Update three nearly four months later.

441
00:22:17,760 --> 00:22:20,040
Speaker 3: I think I think you have to. I think at

442
00:22:20,040 --> 00:22:23,080
Speaker 3: this point he's even saying so. He said before. I mean,

443
00:22:23,160 --> 00:22:25,400
Speaker 3: you know, when you started this whole thing, that he's

444
00:22:25,440 --> 00:22:28,720
Speaker 3: relying on you, yep, And then when you started pushing him,

445
00:22:28,760 --> 00:22:32,080
Speaker 3: he said, I'm not getting a job. I refused because

446
00:22:32,080 --> 00:22:34,840
Speaker 3: I'm divorced, and then you said okay or sorry, it's

447
00:22:34,840 --> 00:22:38,040
Speaker 3: because I'm depressed. And then you said, oh, well, I'm

448
00:22:38,040 --> 00:22:39,399
Speaker 3: going to divorce you, and he said, well, I'm going

449
00:22:39,440 --> 00:22:42,200
Speaker 3: to keep relying on you forever through all the money payment.

450
00:22:42,320 --> 00:22:46,600
Speaker 3: He refuses to take any responsibility and has the idea

451
00:22:46,640 --> 00:22:50,920
Speaker 3: that he's just gonna mooch off of you for life. Yeah,

452
00:22:50,960 --> 00:22:53,640
Speaker 3: so yeah, I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.

453
00:22:54,240 --> 00:22:57,400
Speaker 3: Maybe he'll turn his life around after he realizes that

454
00:22:57,440 --> 00:22:59,440
Speaker 3: he's really and I gonna get anything from you and

455
00:22:59,560 --> 00:23:02,000
Speaker 3: your leave, but it's not working here.

456
00:23:02,280 --> 00:23:05,960
Speaker 6: The TLDR version is that we are separated with plans

457
00:23:05,960 --> 00:23:08,080
Speaker 6: of divorce. In one year. I finally got him to

458
00:23:08,080 --> 00:23:10,800
Speaker 6: see a doctor. I wasn't in the room for the diagnosis,

459
00:23:10,800 --> 00:23:14,560
Speaker 6: but the doctor suggested my husband look into cognitive behavioral

460
00:23:14,600 --> 00:23:18,840
Speaker 6: therapy and SSRI. I of course, my husband was opposed

461
00:23:18,840 --> 00:23:22,880
Speaker 6: to both. He could read about CBT online and I've

462
00:23:22,920 --> 00:23:25,239
Speaker 6: known for a while that he's outright hostile to the

463
00:23:25,280 --> 00:23:29,720
Speaker 6: idea of taking antidepressants. He describes them as brainwarping. We

464
00:23:29,880 --> 00:23:32,479
Speaker 6: had a week or so in April where things almost

465
00:23:32,480 --> 00:23:36,040
Speaker 6: felt normal. We talked more, ate, dinner together, sleep to

466
00:23:36,119 --> 00:23:39,000
Speaker 6: the same bed, even had a date slash movie night.

467
00:23:39,080 --> 00:23:42,679
Speaker 6: I felt so hopeful. Things truly seemed to be getting better.

468
00:23:42,800 --> 00:23:45,840
Speaker 6: It didn't last long, though. We had a little fight

469
00:23:45,880 --> 00:23:50,640
Speaker 6: about something completely small, and things fell apart quickly.

470
00:23:51,080 --> 00:23:51,880
Speaker 3: I think it's over.

471
00:23:52,119 --> 00:23:54,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think it's done. You can play the game.

472
00:23:55,400 --> 00:23:57,200
Speaker 6: I'm gonna change, We're gonna do this.

473
00:23:57,400 --> 00:23:59,720
Speaker 3: Mm hmm. But you haven't shown. These are all words,

474
00:24:00,160 --> 00:24:03,560
Speaker 3: where's be nothing without action. So I think you should

475
00:24:03,600 --> 00:24:06,320
Speaker 3: be done, Opie. Live your best life, girl, don't let

476
00:24:06,400 --> 00:24:07,160
Speaker 3: him drag you down.

477
00:24:07,520 --> 00:24:10,560
Speaker 6: My other thought is would it be smart to have

478
00:24:10,600 --> 00:24:13,240
Speaker 6: a mediator in a marriage? What do you mean someone

479
00:24:13,840 --> 00:24:16,440
Speaker 6: I guess like a therapist or a couple of therapists. Yeah,

480
00:24:16,520 --> 00:24:18,359
Speaker 6: but they but like they don't have that title. It's like,

481
00:24:18,400 --> 00:24:20,320
Speaker 6: I don't know, like a mutual friend you both like.

482
00:24:20,680 --> 00:24:24,080
Speaker 6: I'm just seeing like an old friendship behind white man

483
00:24:24,800 --> 00:24:27,080
Speaker 6: that you know looks you know.

484
00:24:27,320 --> 00:24:28,320
Speaker 3: What, is he a white man?

485
00:24:28,440 --> 00:24:29,240
Speaker 4: Yeah? Wow?

486
00:24:29,600 --> 00:24:32,440
Speaker 6: Really, I don't know. It's just this is my mind.

487
00:24:32,480 --> 00:24:35,200
Speaker 6: I guess, you know what, take out the white part

488
00:24:35,440 --> 00:24:37,320
Speaker 6: an old man man white?

489
00:24:37,560 --> 00:24:44,120
Speaker 3: I was just man, just a white hair, Okay, Santa as.

490
00:24:44,119 --> 00:24:45,199
Speaker 1: Media, dude perfect.

491
00:24:45,280 --> 00:24:47,600
Speaker 6: He knows both of you guys, my gosh, and.

492
00:24:47,600 --> 00:24:50,679
Speaker 4: He sees you when you're sleeping and knows when you're away.

493
00:24:50,760 --> 00:24:52,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, Santa probably wouldn't have been white.

494
00:24:53,040 --> 00:24:56,080
Speaker 6: Yeah, so he's not white to me, he wouldn't have

495
00:24:56,119 --> 00:25:01,360
Speaker 6: been historically anyways. Color aside. I think having some kind

496
00:25:01,400 --> 00:25:04,000
Speaker 6: of mediator for couples would be great, so whenever something

497
00:25:04,080 --> 00:25:06,480
Speaker 6: like that happens, you can kind of drag someone into

498
00:25:06,520 --> 00:25:10,680
Speaker 6: it that is very very seeing everyone on both ends.

499
00:25:10,880 --> 00:25:12,760
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think a couple's therapist could have helped them,

500
00:25:12,800 --> 00:25:14,439
Speaker 3: But I don't think he would have been receptive to it,

501
00:25:14,640 --> 00:25:16,679
Speaker 3: because it doesn't seem like he was receptive to anything.

502
00:25:16,680 --> 00:25:18,840
Speaker 3: So yeah, I think it's a little too late at

503
00:25:18,880 --> 00:25:22,240
Speaker 3: this point. I think, Oh, he's, you know, made up

504
00:25:22,280 --> 00:25:24,240
Speaker 3: her mind. He's made up his mind that he's not

505
00:25:24,240 --> 00:25:26,240
Speaker 3: going to change at all. Yeah, and that's that.

506
00:25:26,640 --> 00:25:28,640
Speaker 6: So one day after work, I sat in my car

507
00:25:28,720 --> 00:25:31,320
Speaker 6: and was completely overcome with dread. The thought of going

508
00:25:31,359 --> 00:25:34,119
Speaker 6: home to my broken relationship. It was just too much.

509
00:25:34,240 --> 00:25:38,080
Speaker 6: I drove around aimlessly for hours, wondering and how God's

510
00:25:38,160 --> 00:25:40,520
Speaker 6: name my life had turned out like this. Half the

511
00:25:40,520 --> 00:25:43,640
Speaker 6: time I was sobbing. I must have looked crazy. This

512
00:25:43,840 --> 00:25:46,719
Speaker 6: was my breaking point. I was done with the relationship

513
00:25:46,840 --> 00:25:49,720
Speaker 6: and the marriage for good. When I told him my decision,

514
00:25:50,160 --> 00:25:53,720
Speaker 6: he wept openly as I did. He said he was sorry,

515
00:25:53,800 --> 00:25:57,040
Speaker 6: but that he understood. He didn't ask me to reconsider

516
00:25:57,119 --> 00:25:59,960
Speaker 6: or make any efforts to save the relationship, which tell

517
00:26:00,000 --> 00:26:03,040
Speaker 6: tell me it was the right decision for both of us.

518
00:26:03,160 --> 00:26:05,920
Speaker 6: He moved into his parents' basement a few weeks ago.

519
00:26:06,040 --> 00:26:08,679
Speaker 6: I'm still in a rough place emotionally. I pray that

520
00:26:08,760 --> 00:26:11,840
Speaker 6: time will heal me and that I'll be able to

521
00:26:11,840 --> 00:26:12,520
Speaker 6: find love again.

522
00:26:12,640 --> 00:26:13,320
Speaker 4: Oh will.

523
00:26:13,800 --> 00:26:16,840
Speaker 3: You're a strong, independent woman. I've been supporting this, this

524
00:26:17,280 --> 00:26:21,520
Speaker 3: little lump of a man, not by choice, not by choice. Yeah,

525
00:26:21,920 --> 00:26:22,680
Speaker 3: you'll be fine.

526
00:26:22,960 --> 00:26:24,600
Speaker 6: And that's the end of the story. We're going on

527
00:26:24,640 --> 00:26:26,239
Speaker 6: to the next one.

528
00:26:26,400 --> 00:26:28,480
Speaker 4: Hey, it's Sam. We'll get back to the stories. But

529
00:26:28,600 --> 00:26:31,640
Speaker 4: here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors. My wife's

530
00:26:31,680 --> 00:26:35,480
Speaker 4: best friend is a man twenty six years older than her,

531
00:26:35,560 --> 00:26:37,040
Speaker 4: and it's suspicious.

532
00:26:37,280 --> 00:26:42,160
Speaker 2: Uh you can say that again him, I not seeing something?

533
00:26:42,480 --> 00:26:46,320
Speaker 4: Could this be an affair? My wife, thirty five female,

534
00:26:46,359 --> 00:26:49,719
Speaker 4: and I forty two male, have been together for ten years,

535
00:26:50,080 --> 00:26:53,159
Speaker 4: married for seven. My wife has a best friend, John,

536
00:26:53,320 --> 00:26:57,040
Speaker 4: who is sixty one male. They talk every day, either

537
00:26:57,160 --> 00:27:00,240
Speaker 4: texting or on the phone, and see each other there

538
00:27:00,320 --> 00:27:03,160
Speaker 4: at least once a week. John is an elder at

539
00:27:03,160 --> 00:27:07,119
Speaker 4: our church, non Denominational Christian and has been married to

540
00:27:07,200 --> 00:27:11,000
Speaker 4: his wife, Judy fifty five female, for twenty years. By

541
00:27:11,040 --> 00:27:14,040
Speaker 4: the way, this comes from professional Pin forty nine forty

542
00:27:14,080 --> 00:27:16,520
Speaker 4: one and if you want to submit your own stories,

543
00:27:16,560 --> 00:27:19,280
Speaker 4: go to the r slash Okay storytime subreddit. I'm Carly,

544
00:27:19,640 --> 00:27:24,160
Speaker 4: I'm Dakota, I'm Keon, and we're here to give cridif icecoofully.

545
00:27:24,280 --> 00:27:26,560
Speaker 4: But we don't have all the answers. We only know

546
00:27:26,600 --> 00:27:28,119
Speaker 4: what we would do, So let us know what you

547
00:27:28,119 --> 00:27:31,400
Speaker 4: would do in the comments and OPI says, I want

548
00:27:31,440 --> 00:27:33,600
Speaker 4: to start by saying I do not think my wife

549
00:27:33,640 --> 00:27:36,800
Speaker 4: is having an affair with John. I have never had

550
00:27:36,840 --> 00:27:40,080
Speaker 4: a second thought about the nature of their relationship. I

551
00:27:40,200 --> 00:27:43,480
Speaker 4: also have a friendship with John and Judy and we

552
00:27:43,640 --> 00:27:46,439
Speaker 4: go to their house at least once a month for dinner.

553
00:27:46,720 --> 00:27:50,040
Speaker 4: Our pastor's wife learned from my wife that they were

554
00:27:50,080 --> 00:27:53,159
Speaker 4: close and meeting one on one, and she came to

555
00:27:53,240 --> 00:27:56,080
Speaker 4: talk to me about it. She was angry to say

556
00:27:56,119 --> 00:27:59,639
Speaker 4: the least and explained that it's not appropriate for an

557
00:27:59,680 --> 00:28:03,639
Speaker 4: elder or man in a leadership position to meet privately

558
00:28:03,720 --> 00:28:06,359
Speaker 4: with a woman. She told me it was my job

559
00:28:06,440 --> 00:28:09,159
Speaker 4: to protect and guide my wife. I thanked her for

560
00:28:09,200 --> 00:28:12,320
Speaker 4: telling me, but said they were just friends. She didn't

561
00:28:12,359 --> 00:28:15,280
Speaker 4: really respect my answer, so I reached out to our

562
00:28:15,320 --> 00:28:17,919
Speaker 4: pastor and told him what happened. I asked if it

563
00:28:17,960 --> 00:28:19,960
Speaker 4: was going to be a problem, and he said no,

564
00:28:20,359 --> 00:28:23,000
Speaker 4: that it was between me and my wife and John

565
00:28:23,040 --> 00:28:25,560
Speaker 4: and Judy. I then asked a few of my friends

566
00:28:25,560 --> 00:28:28,440
Speaker 4: who know him, and it was unanimous. Your wife would

567
00:28:28,480 --> 00:28:31,119
Speaker 4: never cheat on you, but that guy is in love

568
00:28:31,200 --> 00:28:33,560
Speaker 4: with her. Here is where I may not be seeing

569
00:28:33,600 --> 00:28:36,800
Speaker 4: the potential for an affair. There's no way to describe

570
00:28:36,800 --> 00:28:42,840
Speaker 4: my wife other than magnetic. She is everyone's favorite person, stunning, funny,

571
00:28:43,040 --> 00:28:45,640
Speaker 4: kind to her core, and always ready to help someone

572
00:28:45,720 --> 00:28:49,600
Speaker 4: in neat She volunteers, visits the elderly in long term care,

573
00:28:50,080 --> 00:28:53,400
Speaker 4: and stays home with our three children under five. If

574
00:28:53,440 --> 00:28:56,720
Speaker 4: there's a party and my wife can't attend, even if

575
00:28:56,760 --> 00:29:00,960
Speaker 4: everyone else can, the host reschedules. She's the glue of

576
00:29:01,160 --> 00:29:05,640
Speaker 4: every circle she's in, charismatic and genuinely loves people. She

577
00:29:05,760 --> 00:29:09,440
Speaker 4: makes everyone feel like the most important person in the world.

578
00:29:09,920 --> 00:29:12,960
Speaker 4: She's the most amazing person I've ever met, and we

579
00:29:13,040 --> 00:29:16,520
Speaker 4: have a solid, healthy marriage. She loves me and our

580
00:29:16,600 --> 00:29:21,000
Speaker 4: children completely. That being said, she's completely oblivious to her

581
00:29:21,040 --> 00:29:24,920
Speaker 4: effect on people. She truly thinks she's just an average

582
00:29:24,960 --> 00:29:29,600
Speaker 4: woman and that people are simply being nice. Anytime someone says, Carrie,

583
00:29:29,720 --> 00:29:32,400
Speaker 4: do you know how special you are? She replies, you

584
00:29:32,440 --> 00:29:36,680
Speaker 4: are special and starts listing things she loves about them.

585
00:29:36,960 --> 00:29:40,440
Speaker 4: She genuinely has no idea how magnetic she is. John

586
00:29:40,560 --> 00:29:44,200
Speaker 4: is a great guy. I like him, My wife adores him.

587
00:29:44,440 --> 00:29:47,360
Speaker 4: She talks to him and sees him more than her girlfriends.

588
00:29:47,520 --> 00:29:50,960
Speaker 4: He's really her best friend after me. Of course, every

589
00:29:50,960 --> 00:29:53,600
Speaker 4: time someone brings him up, she says, I love John.

590
00:29:54,360 --> 00:29:57,800
Speaker 4: If there's anything inappropriate happening, I don't think it's coming

591
00:29:57,800 --> 00:30:01,000
Speaker 4: from her. Maybe he has a crush on her. A

592
00:30:01,000 --> 00:30:05,000
Speaker 4: beautiful woman twenty five years younger giving him attention. It's

593
00:30:05,120 --> 00:30:08,160
Speaker 4: easy to see how that could happen, but it's always

594
00:30:08,200 --> 00:30:11,640
Speaker 4: felt innocent. He's a big teddy bear. He tends to

595
00:30:11,680 --> 00:30:14,400
Speaker 4: buy her gifts, so she'll bake for him and Judy,

596
00:30:15,000 --> 00:30:17,959
Speaker 4: or he'll bring her favorite food, and she'll share books

597
00:30:17,960 --> 00:30:21,400
Speaker 4: for them to read together. They play music and sing together,

598
00:30:21,680 --> 00:30:25,560
Speaker 4: learning songs for church or just for fun. Something noteworthy

599
00:30:25,640 --> 00:30:28,920
Speaker 4: that maybe my pastor's wife noticed is how John behaves

600
00:30:28,960 --> 00:30:32,200
Speaker 4: at church. When other people are around, he keeps his

601
00:30:32,320 --> 00:30:35,960
Speaker 4: distance from her. She'll seek him out or ask where's John,

602
00:30:36,200 --> 00:30:39,040
Speaker 4: and he'll just smile or wave, but won't approach. He

603
00:30:39,160 --> 00:30:42,840
Speaker 4: seems stiff and guarded around her in public, though he

604
00:30:42,920 --> 00:30:46,120
Speaker 4: interacts normally with our kids, who call him uncle John,

605
00:30:46,520 --> 00:30:49,520
Speaker 4: and with me or anyone else. Today, at church, I

606
00:30:49,600 --> 00:30:52,080
Speaker 4: watched him, even though he didn't talk much to her

607
00:30:52,240 --> 00:30:54,640
Speaker 4: or sit with her. I caught him looking at her

608
00:30:54,760 --> 00:30:58,720
Speaker 4: several times, even when he was mid conversation. His attention

609
00:30:58,920 --> 00:31:02,280
Speaker 4: seemed divide. When my wife said something funny to the

610
00:31:02,320 --> 00:31:05,400
Speaker 4: other woman, I saw him smirk while they were laughing,

611
00:31:05,960 --> 00:31:09,280
Speaker 4: like he was listening from across the room. At our house,

612
00:31:09,360 --> 00:31:14,200
Speaker 4: though it's totally different, he's engaged, relaxed, and sits close

613
00:31:14,240 --> 00:31:17,160
Speaker 4: to her. He plays with our kids, rocks the baby,

614
00:31:17,280 --> 00:31:21,320
Speaker 4: and plays music while she sings. It feels natural and comfortable.

615
00:31:21,640 --> 00:31:23,680
Speaker 4: I don't know what it's like when I'm not there,

616
00:31:23,760 --> 00:31:26,320
Speaker 4: but I assume it's the same. I just need to

617
00:31:26,360 --> 00:31:28,880
Speaker 4: know if I should be concerned or not. Is this

618
00:31:28,920 --> 00:31:32,840
Speaker 4: guy a covert predator with eyes on my wife or

619
00:31:33,040 --> 00:31:36,040
Speaker 4: is it an innocent crush. Is there an affair happening?

620
00:31:36,600 --> 00:31:40,680
Speaker 4: Or are my Pastor's wife and friends overreacting and we

621
00:31:40,760 --> 00:31:43,200
Speaker 4: have an update. I spoke to my wife, I spoke

622
00:31:43,240 --> 00:31:46,800
Speaker 4: to John, and I spoke to Judy. Everything was blown

623
00:31:46,920 --> 00:31:50,040
Speaker 4: up wife. When I came to my wife about what

624
00:31:50,160 --> 00:31:53,880
Speaker 4: Pastor's wife said, she was confused at first why she

625
00:31:53,920 --> 00:31:57,120
Speaker 4: would be concerned then her because it felt like an

626
00:31:57,160 --> 00:32:00,520
Speaker 4: attack on her character, and why Pastor's wife didn't come

627
00:32:00,520 --> 00:32:03,000
Speaker 4: to her with this concern instead of coming to me.

628
00:32:03,400 --> 00:32:05,800
Speaker 4: After we talked through that, she was worried that she

629
00:32:05,840 --> 00:32:08,720
Speaker 4: had hurt my feelings because of her friendship with John.

630
00:32:08,920 --> 00:32:11,280
Speaker 4: She told me she loved John, but that she would

631
00:32:11,280 --> 00:32:14,400
Speaker 4: discontinue their friendship in a heartbeat if I felt the

632
00:32:14,400 --> 00:32:17,840
Speaker 4: same as Pastor's wife, that she would never jeopardize the

633
00:32:17,840 --> 00:32:21,400
Speaker 4: trust in our marriage that I come first. I reassured

634
00:32:21,440 --> 00:32:24,640
Speaker 4: her that their relationship has never worried me. I trust her.

635
00:32:24,920 --> 00:32:28,000
Speaker 4: I did express the thought that John may potentially have

636
00:32:28,080 --> 00:32:31,120
Speaker 4: feelings for her that a few friends said it seemed

637
00:32:31,160 --> 00:32:33,160
Speaker 4: like he was in love with her. To say she

638
00:32:33,280 --> 00:32:37,840
Speaker 4: was devastated is an understatement. Her face literally fell. She

639
00:32:37,920 --> 00:32:40,200
Speaker 4: said he has never acted in a way to indicate

640
00:32:40,240 --> 00:32:43,320
Speaker 4: feelings other than friendship and mentorship, and that he has

641
00:32:43,400 --> 00:32:46,880
Speaker 4: never made comments, he has never made her feel uncomfortable,

642
00:32:47,280 --> 00:32:50,959
Speaker 4: has never come even close to crossing any lines. That

643
00:32:51,000 --> 00:32:53,720
Speaker 4: they frequently talk about Judy and how much they love

644
00:32:53,760 --> 00:32:56,760
Speaker 4: each other, how they have overcome so much in their

645
00:32:56,800 --> 00:32:58,520
Speaker 4: marriage and are stronger than ever.

646
00:32:58,920 --> 00:32:59,280
Speaker 3: Uh.

647
00:32:59,320 --> 00:33:01,960
Speaker 4: And then here's the conversation with John. I came right

648
00:33:02,000 --> 00:33:04,080
Speaker 4: out and asked if he had feelings for my wife.

649
00:33:04,280 --> 00:33:07,680
Speaker 4: I told him his friendship means so much to her,

650
00:33:08,200 --> 00:33:10,200
Speaker 4: and that if he needs to be open and honest

651
00:33:10,360 --> 00:33:13,240
Speaker 4: now to prevent her from getting hur if his intentions

652
00:33:13,240 --> 00:33:16,960
Speaker 4: had been anything but platonic. He responded with a resounding no,

653
00:33:17,160 --> 00:33:18,040
Speaker 4: she's my friend.

654
00:33:18,280 --> 00:33:20,320
Speaker 2: No, Officer, I didn't.

655
00:33:20,000 --> 00:33:20,760
Speaker 4: Do that right.

656
00:33:20,880 --> 00:33:24,160
Speaker 2: Maybe and that concludes our investigation. Thank you very much.

657
00:33:24,560 --> 00:33:28,160
Speaker 2: It's over now. I don't know, man, this needed this guy? Wait,

658
00:33:28,360 --> 00:33:30,000
Speaker 2: you did not need to involve everyone.

659
00:33:30,200 --> 00:33:31,760
Speaker 4: No, I was gonna say, I feel like we go

660
00:33:31,800 --> 00:33:34,600
Speaker 4: back to Judy, have a second conversation with Judy, maybe

661
00:33:34,680 --> 00:33:35,240
Speaker 4: not even Judy.

662
00:33:35,280 --> 00:33:36,440
Speaker 1: What are we talking about Judy.

663
00:33:36,320 --> 00:33:38,480
Speaker 4: For Judy's the pastor's wife.

664
00:33:38,720 --> 00:33:42,320
Speaker 2: No, Judy's John's wife. The pastor's wife, yeah, is not.

665
00:33:42,880 --> 00:33:46,560
Speaker 2: Is not John's wife. Pastor's wife was Joe. Pastor's wife

666
00:33:46,600 --> 00:33:49,760
Speaker 2: literally stuck her nose into the business and was like,

667
00:33:49,840 --> 00:33:52,280
Speaker 2: this is now a problem. I'm making it a problem.

668
00:33:52,480 --> 00:33:54,200
Speaker 2: I wanted to make sure that you knew this needs

669
00:33:54,200 --> 00:33:56,320
Speaker 2: to be a problem. If he came to op and

670
00:33:56,360 --> 00:33:58,920
Speaker 2: he's like, what is that a problem? Wait a minute?

671
00:33:59,160 --> 00:34:02,400
Speaker 2: Is my wife and cheat on me with this? Like dude,

672
00:34:02,440 --> 00:34:06,840
Speaker 2: who's Who's Who's your uncle? Basically like and you should

673
00:34:06,840 --> 00:34:08,399
Speaker 2: have just gone to your wife and been like, hey,

674
00:34:08,400 --> 00:34:10,719
Speaker 2: have you ever gotten any weird vibes at all from John?

675
00:34:10,840 --> 00:34:11,319
Speaker 1: I don't know.

676
00:34:11,719 --> 00:34:13,880
Speaker 2: Pastor's wife came up to me and said something, and

677
00:34:13,960 --> 00:34:16,360
Speaker 2: it's just made me think, like, I just want to

678
00:34:16,360 --> 00:34:18,160
Speaker 2: make sure that you're not He's not.

679
00:34:19,280 --> 00:34:20,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, he's not ever.

680
00:34:20,200 --> 00:34:25,000
Speaker 2: Doing anything uncomfortable or weird or giving off any vibes.

681
00:34:25,400 --> 00:34:27,520
Speaker 4: Probably shouldn't have gone straight into the are you having

682
00:34:27,560 --> 00:34:28,560
Speaker 4: an affair with John?

683
00:34:29,080 --> 00:34:29,400
Speaker 1: Yeah?

684
00:34:29,520 --> 00:34:32,799
Speaker 2: This is totally like just like stumbling around in the

685
00:34:32,920 --> 00:34:35,840
Speaker 2: dark looking for a light switch when you had a

686
00:34:35,880 --> 00:34:37,640
Speaker 2: flashlight in your hand, you could have just shined it

687
00:34:38,040 --> 00:34:41,560
Speaker 2: right at your wife non accusatorally. I just realized the

688
00:34:41,600 --> 00:34:43,680
Speaker 2: flashlights kind of that's kind of painting, like a very

689
00:34:43,719 --> 00:34:44,760
Speaker 2: interrogative picture.

690
00:34:45,800 --> 00:34:48,360
Speaker 1: But uh, you should have just talked to your wife, buddy.

691
00:34:48,600 --> 00:34:50,200
Speaker 3: It made sure she's okay, not like.

692
00:34:50,400 --> 00:34:51,959
Speaker 1: Who with his old band.

693
00:34:52,360 --> 00:34:56,040
Speaker 4: I mentioned pastor's wife's concerns. He said, I will speak

694
00:34:56,080 --> 00:34:58,640
Speaker 4: to pastor and Pastor's wife. Thank you for bringing this

695
00:34:58,680 --> 00:35:01,400
Speaker 4: to my attention. There is there's a history there that

696
00:35:01,680 --> 00:35:04,920
Speaker 4: I'm not comfortable sharing at this time. I tried to

697
00:35:04,960 --> 00:35:07,400
Speaker 4: ask him further questions on this, but he continued to

698
00:35:07,440 --> 00:35:10,840
Speaker 4: say it's inappropriate to talk about without his wife present.

699
00:35:11,160 --> 00:35:13,560
Speaker 4: I pushed and told him I noticed he treats her

700
00:35:13,560 --> 00:35:17,120
Speaker 4: differently at church versus in our house, that I've seen

701
00:35:17,200 --> 00:35:20,000
Speaker 4: him looking at her and paying attention to her even

702
00:35:20,040 --> 00:35:22,759
Speaker 4: when they were in separate social groups at the gatherings.

703
00:35:22,840 --> 00:35:26,400
Speaker 4: He said, I don't approach her at church. First, to

704
00:35:26,480 --> 00:35:29,760
Speaker 4: protect both of our reputations and our walk with Christ.

705
00:35:30,120 --> 00:35:34,600
Speaker 4: Even though our friendship is innocent, it can be misconstrued. Second,

706
00:35:34,760 --> 00:35:37,520
Speaker 4: to keep her from the wrath of certain members. I

707
00:35:37,600 --> 00:35:40,520
Speaker 4: asked him which members, and he said that is a

708
00:35:40,520 --> 00:35:44,440
Speaker 4: conversation we should have with both Judy and Sea present.

709
00:35:44,520 --> 00:35:47,520
Speaker 4: I'm assuming she is Carrie his wife, I reiterated, seeing

710
00:35:47,640 --> 00:35:50,319
Speaker 4: him looking at her and she's talking to others, and

711
00:35:50,360 --> 00:35:53,520
Speaker 4: he said, Opie, you know your wife better than anyone.

712
00:35:53,920 --> 00:35:56,160
Speaker 4: She has a light about her and a fire for

713
00:35:56,239 --> 00:35:59,040
Speaker 4: the Lord that is hard to ignore. People are drawn

714
00:35:59,080 --> 00:36:02,120
Speaker 4: to it. This was unintentional on my part, and I

715
00:36:02,160 --> 00:36:04,440
Speaker 4: will do my best to avoid doing it in the future.

716
00:36:04,840 --> 00:36:08,879
Speaker 4: But she's very funny, Opie, and sometimes after a hard

717
00:36:08,960 --> 00:36:12,280
Speaker 4: hitting sermon, we all need some light. Overall, his demeanor

718
00:36:12,400 --> 00:36:15,799
Speaker 4: was not defensive, just matter of fact, open and apologetic.

719
00:36:16,080 --> 00:36:19,640
Speaker 4: My wife had been acting normally after our conversation, tending

720
00:36:19,640 --> 00:36:23,200
Speaker 4: to her millions of tasks as usual, with a smile

721
00:36:23,239 --> 00:36:25,879
Speaker 4: on her face. But I could see in her when

722
00:36:25,920 --> 00:36:29,640
Speaker 4: she felt no one was looking, deep sadness. In the

723
00:36:29,680 --> 00:36:32,919
Speaker 4: moments she didn't realize I was paying attention, I could

724
00:36:32,960 --> 00:36:36,160
Speaker 4: see her brow furrowed deep in thought. At this point

725
00:36:36,200 --> 00:36:39,120
Speaker 4: I thought I had royally messed up. I feared that

726
00:36:39,160 --> 00:36:42,480
Speaker 4: I had ruined their friendship over nothing, or worse, that

727
00:36:42,560 --> 00:36:44,920
Speaker 4: I had put an idea in her head. But again,

728
00:36:45,120 --> 00:36:48,000
Speaker 4: I trust my wife. It don't sound like you really do. Though,

729
00:36:48,040 --> 00:36:51,920
Speaker 4: we have another update. I really trust my wife. But

730
00:36:52,040 --> 00:36:55,560
Speaker 4: the second that I even got the slightest whisper that

731
00:36:56,040 --> 00:36:58,880
Speaker 4: she might be having an affair with someone that like

732
00:36:59,040 --> 00:37:03,359
Speaker 4: I've never thought over heard anything else about, I immediately

733
00:37:03,560 --> 00:37:06,000
Speaker 4: asked her if she was having an affair.

734
00:37:06,239 --> 00:37:08,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's just like a crazy move. That's like if

735
00:37:08,960 --> 00:37:11,960
Speaker 2: you were playing chess, your opening move was like you

736
00:37:12,080 --> 00:37:19,400
Speaker 2: threw up on the chess board. He's like, yeah, maybe

737
00:37:19,440 --> 00:37:22,480
Speaker 2: I'm being MG's like, I don't know if he's if

738
00:37:22,480 --> 00:37:24,520
Speaker 2: that's how op he's really approaching it. Maybe I'm just

739
00:37:24,560 --> 00:37:27,879
Speaker 2: being a little over critical. But I think he came,

740
00:37:28,080 --> 00:37:31,279
Speaker 2: you know, you know, he definitely didn't move. You know,

741
00:37:31,320 --> 00:37:34,120
Speaker 2: I don't think that he like just it's less that

742
00:37:34,200 --> 00:37:36,719
Speaker 2: this guy thinks that his wife is like, you know,

743
00:37:36,920 --> 00:37:39,600
Speaker 2: not smart enough to recognize this, or like doesn't trust her.

744
00:37:39,640 --> 00:37:45,719
Speaker 2: It's that it's like he's more beholden to like the

745
00:37:45,760 --> 00:37:50,040
Speaker 2: optics of his faith, and like everything is being funneled

746
00:37:50,040 --> 00:37:52,800
Speaker 2: through like the optics of like the congregation of the

747
00:37:52,800 --> 00:37:54,880
Speaker 2: community or the pastor's wife, and it's like, oh, well,

748
00:37:54,920 --> 00:37:56,839
Speaker 2: if they see that it's not okay, then I guess

749
00:37:56,880 --> 00:37:58,759
Speaker 2: it is something I need to worry about instead of

750
00:37:58,800 --> 00:38:01,719
Speaker 2: just trusting your wife. He was probably you know, by

751
00:38:01,719 --> 00:38:04,680
Speaker 2: all right, it's probably beautiful, intelligent, energetic magnetic.

752
00:38:05,120 --> 00:38:07,880
Speaker 1: It's that tiny seed that gets planted in your brain

753
00:38:08,280 --> 00:38:10,440
Speaker 1: and it's just it's the tiny seed of insecurity and

754
00:38:10,480 --> 00:38:12,880
Speaker 1: it just grows and grows into a giant tree and

755
00:38:12,920 --> 00:38:16,879
Speaker 1: you're like, hmmm, yeah, that's what it is. That's what's

756
00:38:16,920 --> 00:38:21,239
Speaker 1: overtaking my brain. Yeah, it's a hyperfixation, what Nigming says.

757
00:38:21,520 --> 00:38:24,600
Speaker 4: Update two, My wife and I met with John and

758
00:38:24,719 --> 00:38:28,680
Speaker 4: Judy for dinner at Theirs. My wife had anxiety about

759
00:38:28,719 --> 00:38:31,319
Speaker 4: this because she and John hadn't talked since I told

760
00:38:31,360 --> 00:38:35,120
Speaker 4: her about my conversation with Pastor's wife. John had already

761
00:38:35,120 --> 00:38:38,080
Speaker 4: explained to Judy what was going on with Pastor's wife,

762
00:38:38,120 --> 00:38:42,480
Speaker 4: calling into question John and my wife's friendship. Judy firstly

763
00:38:42,520 --> 00:38:46,000
Speaker 4: expressed that she has no concerns about their friendship, that

764
00:38:46,080 --> 00:38:49,080
Speaker 4: they both view my wife almost like another daughter and

765
00:38:49,200 --> 00:38:52,840
Speaker 4: our children like extra grands, that she not only trusts

766
00:38:52,840 --> 00:38:56,759
Speaker 4: her husband, but also my wife finds it ridiculous that

767
00:38:56,800 --> 00:38:59,680
Speaker 4: she has to even say that out loud, and finds

768
00:38:59,680 --> 00:39:02,760
Speaker 4: it sol affable that there was ever any question about

769
00:39:02,760 --> 00:39:06,000
Speaker 4: the nature of their relationship. I apologize that this is

770
00:39:06,080 --> 00:39:08,759
Speaker 4: all blown up, and Judy scoffed and said, it's not

771
00:39:08,960 --> 00:39:12,200
Speaker 4: your fault. And I explained I could have just let

772
00:39:12,280 --> 00:39:14,440
Speaker 4: it be, and she said, no, it's a good thing

773
00:39:14,480 --> 00:39:16,560
Speaker 4: that you brought it to our attention, and then looked

774
00:39:16,560 --> 00:39:19,800
Speaker 4: at John. As it turns out, this isn't the first

775
00:39:19,840 --> 00:39:22,680
Speaker 4: time that John has been accused of having an inappropriate

776
00:39:22,760 --> 00:39:25,960
Speaker 4: relationship with a woman member. Only the other one was

777
00:39:26,040 --> 00:39:29,120
Speaker 4: none other than Pastor's wife, who I will be referring

778
00:39:29,200 --> 00:39:32,600
Speaker 4: to as PW from here. For years ago, John came

779
00:39:32,640 --> 00:39:35,520
Speaker 4: to Judy and shared Pastor's wife was emailing him in

780
00:39:35,560 --> 00:39:39,839
Speaker 4: a manner that verged on inappropriate, talking about her relationship

781
00:39:39,880 --> 00:39:43,799
Speaker 4: with Pastor, how she was feeling emotionally and physically, neglected,

782
00:39:44,080 --> 00:39:47,120
Speaker 4: how John's counsel had made her realize what was missing

783
00:39:47,160 --> 00:39:50,560
Speaker 4: in her marriage, asking questions about him and Judy how

784
00:39:50,600 --> 00:39:54,440
Speaker 4: their marriage was. If Judy was attentive enough, he showed

785
00:39:54,480 --> 00:39:57,560
Speaker 4: her all of the emails. John had kept the conversation

786
00:39:57,760 --> 00:40:02,040
Speaker 4: light and christ and prayer centered. But even though Pastor's

787
00:40:02,080 --> 00:40:05,520
Speaker 4: wife never directly came out asking for an affair, Judy

788
00:40:05,560 --> 00:40:09,279
Speaker 4: could tell Pastor's wife was fishing for more from him.

789
00:40:09,719 --> 00:40:12,920
Speaker 4: Judy called Pastor's wife out, and Pastor's wife tried to

790
00:40:12,920 --> 00:40:15,480
Speaker 4: turn the narrative around and say that John was the

791
00:40:15,520 --> 00:40:19,560
Speaker 4: one being inappropriate and making her feel uncomfortable. Judy pointed

792
00:40:19,560 --> 00:40:22,239
Speaker 4: out that she had read the emails, and Pastor's wife

793
00:40:22,360 --> 00:40:26,400
Speaker 4: said that he was manipulating her. Judy unleashed years of

794
00:40:26,480 --> 00:40:30,560
Speaker 4: frustration during this dinner. She explained that behind closed doors,

795
00:40:30,640 --> 00:40:34,239
Speaker 4: Pastor's wife is a control freak and power hungry and

796
00:40:34,320 --> 00:40:39,480
Speaker 4: possibly a self absorbed person. She is attention seeking and dangerous,

797
00:40:39,640 --> 00:40:43,640
Speaker 4: that she doesn't take criticism or correction well, that any

798
00:40:43,760 --> 00:40:47,800
Speaker 4: challenge is met with being shut down and invalidated. Judy

799
00:40:47,920 --> 00:40:51,239
Speaker 4: has a theory that Pastor's wife is jealous of my

800
00:40:51,400 --> 00:40:54,719
Speaker 4: wife in general. Her other theory is that maybe Pastor's

801
00:40:54,719 --> 00:40:58,120
Speaker 4: wife does think something inappropriate is going on, but that

802
00:40:58,200 --> 00:41:00,880
Speaker 4: the reason she brought it to me instead of my

803
00:41:01,040 --> 00:41:04,560
Speaker 4: wife or John directly was to cause discord in our

804
00:41:04,600 --> 00:41:07,919
Speaker 4: marriage as a retaliation for John shutting her down.

805
00:41:08,040 --> 00:41:12,400
Speaker 2: Agreed, I think y'all should just have a have a

806
00:41:12,440 --> 00:41:16,600
Speaker 2: weekly dinner and invite Pastor's wife to it every week,

807
00:41:17,160 --> 00:41:19,040
Speaker 2: and she'll say no every week.

808
00:41:19,239 --> 00:41:21,240
Speaker 4: You think she'll say no, She'll.

809
00:41:21,040 --> 00:41:24,520
Speaker 2: Say no, pastor's wife, you're invited, but not your husband.

810
00:41:24,800 --> 00:41:27,400
Speaker 4: I think she'd jump on that it's finally my time.

811
00:41:27,719 --> 00:41:30,520
Speaker 2: Can it just be John, No, all five of them,

812
00:41:30,880 --> 00:41:34,759
Speaker 2: the op his wife, John, Judy and then think a

813
00:41:34,760 --> 00:41:36,000
Speaker 2: little pastor's wife.

814
00:41:36,239 --> 00:41:38,760
Speaker 4: Well, well well now that's an idea.

815
00:41:39,000 --> 00:41:40,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, that would make her uncomfy.

816
00:41:40,360 --> 00:41:43,600
Speaker 4: I think my wife stayed silent during most of our meeting,

817
00:41:43,840 --> 00:41:46,759
Speaker 4: as did John, except when he needed to add details

818
00:41:46,760 --> 00:41:50,120
Speaker 4: here and there. I asked why they stayed even after

819
00:41:50,160 --> 00:41:53,320
Speaker 4: this all happened. Judy said, even though we are called

820
00:41:53,360 --> 00:41:56,600
Speaker 4: to turn the other cheek, that shouldn't bout to bullies.

821
00:41:57,000 --> 00:41:59,560
Speaker 4: That leaving the church would have given Pastor's wife the

822
00:41:59,600 --> 00:42:02,680
Speaker 4: power to control the narrative. John is now going to

823
00:42:02,680 --> 00:42:06,000
Speaker 4: bring this before all of the elders and leadership. I'm

824
00:42:06,040 --> 00:42:09,280
Speaker 4: afraid this is going to implode our church, but also

825
00:42:09,400 --> 00:42:12,279
Speaker 4: know that if this is true and Pastor's wife is

826
00:42:12,400 --> 00:42:16,080
Speaker 4: truly damaging, it needs to be brought to light. That's

827
00:42:16,120 --> 00:42:20,120
Speaker 4: the end of the story. My boyfriend spent our anniversary

828
00:42:20,160 --> 00:42:24,600
Speaker 4: with another girl because my ex visited my parents.

829
00:42:24,880 --> 00:42:26,279
Speaker 1: Ooh, happy anniversary.

830
00:42:26,480 --> 00:42:29,839
Speaker 4: Two weeks ago. It was me twenty seven female and

831
00:42:29,960 --> 00:42:34,520
Speaker 4: my boyfriend Mark's thirty mail anniversary. We've been dating for

832
00:42:34,600 --> 00:42:38,360
Speaker 4: two years. We had plans after he finished work, but

833
00:42:38,520 --> 00:42:42,120
Speaker 4: he never showed up. I tried to call and text him,

834
00:42:42,520 --> 00:42:45,600
Speaker 4: but he ignored me all day and didn't contact me

835
00:42:45,760 --> 00:42:50,400
Speaker 4: until after one am. He was wasted and went on

836
00:42:50,480 --> 00:42:53,760
Speaker 4: a rant about how I deserved this because I shouldn't

837
00:42:53,800 --> 00:42:57,920
Speaker 4: have invited Jason, my ex, to my parents' house. By

838
00:42:57,960 --> 00:43:00,920
Speaker 4: the way, this comes from throwaway Anniversary and if you

839
00:43:00,960 --> 00:43:02,600
Speaker 4: want us to meet your own stories, go to the

840
00:43:02,680 --> 00:43:06,560
Speaker 4: r slash Okay storytime subreddit. I'm Carly, I'm Keon, and

841
00:43:06,840 --> 00:43:09,320
Speaker 4: we're here to give good advice. Goofully, but we don't

842
00:43:09,360 --> 00:43:11,960
Speaker 4: have all the answers. We only know what we would do,

843
00:43:12,000 --> 00:43:13,800
Speaker 4: So let us know what you would do in the comments,

844
00:43:14,440 --> 00:43:17,520
Speaker 4: and Op says. I was pretty mad at him and

845
00:43:17,560 --> 00:43:20,080
Speaker 4: told him I thought we should break up. He ended

846
00:43:20,120 --> 00:43:23,680
Speaker 4: up apologizing profusely and assuring me he would never do

847
00:43:23,760 --> 00:43:27,120
Speaker 4: something like that again, and he was just feeling insecure.

848
00:43:27,600 --> 00:43:30,320
Speaker 4: I decided to give him a second chance to clarify

849
00:43:30,320 --> 00:43:34,600
Speaker 4: about Jason. We had an amicable breakup three years ago

850
00:43:34,800 --> 00:43:37,799
Speaker 4: because we didn't like having a long distance relationship while

851
00:43:37,840 --> 00:43:40,000
Speaker 4: he was away from med school. My dad had a

852
00:43:40,000 --> 00:43:43,799
Speaker 4: heart attack a week before my anniversary, and Jason went

853
00:43:43,880 --> 00:43:47,080
Speaker 4: to see him since his mom is friends with mine.

854
00:43:47,080 --> 00:43:50,160
Speaker 4: Me and Mark turned up while he was there. Jason

855
00:43:50,280 --> 00:43:52,879
Speaker 4: was discussing some of the treatment options the doctor had

856
00:43:52,920 --> 00:43:55,879
Speaker 4: given my dad with my mom. He left a little

857
00:43:55,880 --> 00:43:59,160
Speaker 4: while later. When he left, my mom made a comment

858
00:43:59,200 --> 00:44:03,239
Speaker 4: about how help Jason was. Mark mentioned later that he

859
00:44:03,280 --> 00:44:05,719
Speaker 4: didn't like that Jason was there or what my mom

860
00:44:05,800 --> 00:44:08,879
Speaker 4: said about him, but I reassured him he was there

861
00:44:08,960 --> 00:44:12,799
Speaker 4: as a family friend and not an ex h He

862
00:44:13,080 --> 00:44:17,840
Speaker 4: seemed to be over after that. Yesterday, Mark's friend Penelope

863
00:44:18,400 --> 00:44:20,480
Speaker 4: mentioned how Mark had gone out with her and a

864
00:44:20,520 --> 00:44:24,680
Speaker 4: group of her friends that day. I'm furious because he

865
00:44:24,800 --> 00:44:26,719
Speaker 4: told me he had spent the day at a bar

866
00:44:26,880 --> 00:44:31,719
Speaker 4: alone getting wasted. Mark doesn't understand why I'm angry over this,

867
00:44:32,080 --> 00:44:35,560
Speaker 4: since I already forgave him for missing our anniversary. Would

868
00:44:35,600 --> 00:44:41,279
Speaker 4: breaking up with him be an overreaction? No, No, I'd

869
00:44:41,320 --> 00:44:43,640
Speaker 4: be pissed that he didn't answer me till one am,

870
00:44:43,719 --> 00:44:46,880
Speaker 4: because I would be like, oh my god, something happens.

871
00:44:46,719 --> 00:44:49,399
Speaker 1: Especially on a very important day, right, Well, you guys

872
00:44:49,400 --> 00:44:54,640
Speaker 1: had plans or at least something for your second anniversary. Yeah,

873
00:44:54,680 --> 00:44:57,560
Speaker 1: and he was being very childish and immature.

874
00:44:57,920 --> 00:45:00,440
Speaker 4: Edit to add more info. My parents are nice to

875
00:45:00,480 --> 00:45:03,800
Speaker 4: my boyfriend. They like him and have never mentioned Jason

876
00:45:03,800 --> 00:45:07,680
Speaker 4: to him until this happened. They still talk to Jason

877
00:45:07,760 --> 00:45:10,160
Speaker 4: if they see him whenever he comes back for a visit,

878
00:45:10,560 --> 00:45:12,839
Speaker 4: but as far as I know, they don't go out

879
00:45:12,840 --> 00:45:14,880
Speaker 4: of their way to keep in contact with him anymore.

880
00:45:15,360 --> 00:45:18,440
Speaker 4: I stopped talking to Jason three months into dating my

881
00:45:18,520 --> 00:45:22,520
Speaker 4: boyfriend because he said he didn't like it. Relevant comments

882
00:45:22,600 --> 00:45:26,759
Speaker 4: comment are one. I would suggest it heavily. He's obviously

883
00:45:26,800 --> 00:45:29,359
Speaker 4: not ready for something serious if he's going to throw

884
00:45:29,400 --> 00:45:32,759
Speaker 4: a tantrum purposely ditch your anniversary to then lie to

885
00:45:32,800 --> 00:45:36,799
Speaker 4: your face and say he was wasted by himself. Then

886
00:45:37,120 --> 00:45:40,799
Speaker 4: his female friend broke the actual truth to you that

887
00:45:40,920 --> 00:45:44,879
Speaker 4: he wasn't alone and was wasted with friends while you were.

888
00:45:45,000 --> 00:45:48,959
Speaker 4: I'm guessing clearly upset and angry for missing an important date.

889
00:45:49,640 --> 00:45:52,120
Speaker 4: He never tried to hear why your ex was there,

890
00:45:52,120 --> 00:45:57,200
Speaker 4: I'm guessing, and wanted to punish you. If so, that's childish,

891
00:45:57,280 --> 00:45:59,399
Speaker 4: and I wouldn't want to be stuck dating a man

892
00:45:59,520 --> 00:46:03,479
Speaker 4: child that would rather be petty than actually talk, Opie says,

893
00:46:03,560 --> 00:46:05,759
Speaker 4: we did talk about my ex being there and he

894
00:46:05,880 --> 00:46:08,919
Speaker 4: seemed to understand, only to pull this a week later.

895
00:46:09,080 --> 00:46:10,839
Speaker 1: A week later, it's crazy, yeah.

896
00:46:11,960 --> 00:46:14,920
Speaker 4: Commenter two. Wait, so you both had to talk about

897
00:46:14,960 --> 00:46:19,040
Speaker 4: this and we're okay with everything. Then he acts passive,

898
00:46:19,080 --> 00:46:22,680
Speaker 4: aggressively and like a man child about it, Opie says.

899
00:46:22,880 --> 00:46:23,120
Speaker 1: Yup.

900
00:46:23,840 --> 00:46:26,480
Speaker 4: Commentre three, It kind of sounds like he cheated on

901
00:46:26,560 --> 00:46:29,520
Speaker 4: you a little bit, Opie says. He says he didn't.

902
00:46:30,280 --> 00:46:33,879
Speaker 4: Commentre four. First paragraph, you said you invited the X over,

903
00:46:34,239 --> 00:46:37,480
Speaker 4: or at least that is what your current boyfriend thinks.

904
00:46:38,160 --> 00:46:40,720
Speaker 4: Second paragraph makes it sound like the X just showed

905
00:46:40,800 --> 00:46:42,919
Speaker 4: up on his own to check in on your dad.

906
00:46:43,719 --> 00:46:47,240
Speaker 4: Your boyfriend definitely should have talked to you in either situation.

907
00:46:47,920 --> 00:46:51,560
Speaker 4: If it was the second situation, then he is definitely overreacting.

908
00:46:52,200 --> 00:46:55,839
Speaker 4: If it was the first situation, then he is still overreacting,

909
00:46:56,239 --> 00:47:00,160
Speaker 4: but he does have some possible reasonable concerns al be

910
00:47:00,200 --> 00:47:03,480
Speaker 4: it also maybe from insecurity. There is nothing more to

911
00:47:03,640 --> 00:47:07,560
Speaker 4: it than just your ex being there. Your boyfriend needs

912
00:47:07,600 --> 00:47:10,680
Speaker 4: to communicate whatever he is feeling or thinking to you.

913
00:47:11,480 --> 00:47:13,719
Speaker 4: It sounds like the communication between you two it needs

914
00:47:13,760 --> 00:47:17,080
Speaker 4: some work. Like most answers on here, just communicate with

915
00:47:17,160 --> 00:47:19,800
Speaker 4: each other. If you or him aren't willing to be

916
00:47:19,920 --> 00:47:23,560
Speaker 4: open and honest with one another, then I'd recommend reconsidering

917
00:47:23,640 --> 00:47:24,680
Speaker 4: a relationship together.

918
00:47:25,360 --> 00:47:25,560
Speaker 1: Hope.

919
00:47:25,600 --> 00:47:27,920
Speaker 4: He says, sorry for the confusion. I didn't invite him,

920
00:47:27,960 --> 00:47:31,839
Speaker 4: but my boyfriend assumed I did. Commenter five. I would

921
00:47:31,880 --> 00:47:35,640
Speaker 4: dump his butt. Your dad was sick, a good boyfriend

922
00:47:35,640 --> 00:47:38,759
Speaker 4: would understand that your ex was there to help. Then

923
00:47:38,960 --> 00:47:41,600
Speaker 4: your boyfriend ditched you to get revenge and lied to

924
00:47:41,640 --> 00:47:44,200
Speaker 4: you about where he was. I think you should talk

925
00:47:44,239 --> 00:47:47,040
Speaker 4: to him and then dump him. Why did you even

926
00:47:47,080 --> 00:47:49,480
Speaker 4: get together with him in the first place. He seems

927
00:47:49,560 --> 00:47:52,600
Speaker 4: like a knucklehead. I'm sure you can find a better guy,

928
00:47:52,880 --> 00:47:55,600
Speaker 4: one that will understand that your father's health is far

929
00:47:55,760 --> 00:47:59,640
Speaker 4: more important to you than ghosting your ex. You're both adults.

930
00:48:00,120 --> 00:48:02,880
Speaker 4: Didn't cheat on your boyfriend, You didn't do anything wrong.

931
00:48:03,520 --> 00:48:06,920
Speaker 4: Then he hangs out with another girl on your anniversary

932
00:48:07,440 --> 00:48:11,080
Speaker 4: and lied about it. You deserve the sun, and all

933
00:48:11,160 --> 00:48:14,600
Speaker 4: you have now is a light bulb. Dump him, Opie

934
00:48:14,640 --> 00:48:18,319
Speaker 4: says he wasn't like a knucklehead before. Opie on why

935
00:48:18,400 --> 00:48:21,759
Speaker 4: Jason was there at the hospital. Jason's mom asked him

936
00:48:21,760 --> 00:48:24,280
Speaker 4: to go because the doctor my parents spoke to didn't

937
00:48:24,320 --> 00:48:27,160
Speaker 4: explain the treatment options very well, and he clarified them

938
00:48:27,200 --> 00:48:29,719
Speaker 4: to reassure my mom. I didn't even know he was

939
00:48:29,800 --> 00:48:32,600
Speaker 4: going to be there. If Marks ex did the same thing,

940
00:48:32,840 --> 00:48:35,480
Speaker 4: I wouldn't be upset. I would be happy his parents

941
00:48:35,520 --> 00:48:39,759
Speaker 4: were getting support and reassurance during a difficult time. He's

942
00:48:39,880 --> 00:48:43,760
Speaker 4: finished med school. He was dumbing down the treatment options

943
00:48:44,040 --> 00:48:46,839
Speaker 4: because the doc my parents saw didn't speak to them

944
00:48:46,880 --> 00:48:50,279
Speaker 4: for very long and was very rush rush, so my

945
00:48:50,400 --> 00:48:53,360
Speaker 4: mom was overwhelmed by it all. It was more to

946
00:48:53,400 --> 00:48:56,920
Speaker 4: help reassure my mom than anything else. Opie, responding to

947
00:48:57,000 --> 00:49:00,600
Speaker 4: a downvoted comment about her current boyfriend and her being

948
00:49:00,760 --> 00:49:04,399
Speaker 4: toxic with her wanting to break up. No, I said

949
00:49:04,480 --> 00:49:06,400
Speaker 4: we should break up because he stood me up on

950
00:49:06,480 --> 00:49:09,840
Speaker 4: our anniversary and then called me wasted to blame me

951
00:49:10,080 --> 00:49:15,480
Speaker 4: for it. Did Jason have Opie's number? Opie says, Jason

952
00:49:15,600 --> 00:49:18,080
Speaker 4: doesn't have my number, and my boyfriend asked me to

953
00:49:18,120 --> 00:49:20,480
Speaker 4: block him on everything, so it's not like he could

954
00:49:20,640 --> 00:49:23,359
Speaker 4: ask me even if he wanted to. We have an

955
00:49:23,440 --> 00:49:24,200
Speaker 4: update four days.

956
00:49:24,400 --> 00:49:28,680
Speaker 1: That's a very interesting thing that Mark was, like, you

957
00:49:28,760 --> 00:49:32,919
Speaker 1: have the cut off contact immediately with your amical ex boyfriend. Yeah,

958
00:49:33,000 --> 00:49:35,120
Speaker 1: if it was a serious thing and like very toxic

959
00:49:35,160 --> 00:49:39,000
Speaker 1: relationship makes sense. Mark just seems very controlling and very

960
00:49:39,280 --> 00:49:40,040
Speaker 1: very insecure.

961
00:49:40,160 --> 00:49:43,919
Speaker 4: I could understand, like you dated for three years even

962
00:49:44,000 --> 00:49:46,440
Speaker 4: it was amicable. I don't even talk into your ex.

963
00:49:46,280 --> 00:49:48,319
Speaker 1: All the time if it's yeah, if it's all the time,

964
00:49:48,400 --> 00:49:49,360
Speaker 1: but he's like, hey, I.

965
00:49:49,360 --> 00:49:51,560
Speaker 4: Would probably say I wouldn't like still would be like,

966
00:49:51,680 --> 00:49:54,319
Speaker 4: it's weird that you talk to your ex right now.

967
00:49:54,400 --> 00:49:56,440
Speaker 4: There's the fact that their family friend, so that you're

968
00:49:56,480 --> 00:49:58,840
Speaker 4: gonna have interactions with them. I don't think they necessarily

969
00:49:58,880 --> 00:50:02,160
Speaker 4: need to be like down blocked on everything, Like you

970
00:50:02,280 --> 00:50:07,400
Speaker 4: could never contact me, Like yeah, no, dum pim dump pim,

971
00:50:07,600 --> 00:50:11,879
Speaker 4: don't come on team dumpum dump them. Update four days later,

972
00:50:12,840 --> 00:50:15,759
Speaker 4: after I posted my original post, I asked Mark for

973
00:50:15,880 --> 00:50:18,440
Speaker 4: some space to think and went to stay with my parents.

974
00:50:19,040 --> 00:50:21,720
Speaker 4: He was upset, but said he would respect my decision.

975
00:50:22,200 --> 00:50:25,080
Speaker 4: He did send me one text after I left, which

976
00:50:25,160 --> 00:50:28,200
Speaker 4: said he was sorry and he loved me. Jason's mom

977
00:50:28,320 --> 00:50:30,160
Speaker 4: called me the day after to ask if she could

978
00:50:30,200 --> 00:50:33,359
Speaker 4: give him my number. This was very random, since he's

979
00:50:33,440 --> 00:50:36,440
Speaker 4: always respected my decision not to stay in touch with him,

980
00:50:36,840 --> 00:50:40,000
Speaker 4: so I figured it had to be something important. I

981
00:50:40,120 --> 00:50:42,920
Speaker 4: gave her the go ahead, and Jason called me later.

982
00:50:42,800 --> 00:50:43,239
Speaker 1: In the day.

983
00:50:43,960 --> 00:50:47,480
Speaker 4: He sounded pretty irritated on the phone and asked me

984
00:50:47,600 --> 00:50:51,560
Speaker 4: to tell my boyfriend to leave him alone. No way.

985
00:50:52,719 --> 00:50:56,240
Speaker 4: Mark had been pestering him on Facebook all day since

986
00:50:56,280 --> 00:51:00,600
Speaker 4: I moved out. He'd sent him some nasty and threatened messages,

987
00:51:01,080 --> 00:51:04,400
Speaker 4: and he also commented on every picture that included me

988
00:51:04,600 --> 00:51:05,640
Speaker 4: on his profile.

989
00:51:05,880 --> 00:51:09,600
Speaker 1: All right, Mark, you're cementing. You're cementing this break up.

990
00:51:09,800 --> 00:51:14,040
Speaker 4: Mark, you're diggings where you're gonna lay?

991
00:51:14,280 --> 00:51:17,640
Speaker 1: Uh yeh, yikes, that's crazy.

992
00:51:18,239 --> 00:51:21,839
Speaker 4: Mark's messages read like he was wasted. Not that that's

993
00:51:21,880 --> 00:51:26,440
Speaker 4: an excuse. Jason did block him, but Mark kept making

994
00:51:26,640 --> 00:51:30,920
Speaker 4: new accounts. I was super embarrassed by his behavior and

995
00:51:31,000 --> 00:51:33,680
Speaker 4: apologized to Jason and told him i'd talked to Mark.

996
00:51:33,840 --> 00:51:37,360
Speaker 4: Mark denied it. He tried to say Jason faked the

997
00:51:37,400 --> 00:51:40,680
Speaker 4: screenshots he sent me to make Mark look bad. When

998
00:51:40,719 --> 00:51:43,360
Speaker 4: I told him I didn't believe him, he got angry

999
00:51:43,480 --> 00:51:46,400
Speaker 4: and tried to twist it back onto me again. He

1000
00:51:46,520 --> 00:51:49,160
Speaker 4: asked me why Jason even had my number, why we

1001
00:51:49,280 --> 00:51:52,520
Speaker 4: were even talking to each other, and he accused me

1002
00:51:52,800 --> 00:51:59,000
Speaker 4: of letting him ruin our relationship. Like I said, letting him.

1003
00:51:59,320 --> 00:52:03,480
Speaker 1: He did this, he ruined us. It's his fault.

1004
00:52:03,760 --> 00:52:06,920
Speaker 4: The calls coming from in the house, Bunny, it was you.

1005
00:52:07,360 --> 00:52:07,640
Speaker 2: Mark.

1006
00:52:08,320 --> 00:52:10,759
Speaker 4: He also made a comment about how I should just

1007
00:52:10,800 --> 00:52:12,520
Speaker 4: go f Jason if that's.

1008
00:52:12,400 --> 00:52:13,040
Speaker 3: What I wanted.

1009
00:52:13,560 --> 00:52:16,760
Speaker 4: We got a little bit left. Anything anything else to add.

1010
00:52:17,000 --> 00:52:21,360
Speaker 1: Well, this this is I'm all for second chances. I

1011
00:52:21,520 --> 00:52:25,440
Speaker 1: like second chances, but this guy never really deserved beyond.

1012
00:52:25,960 --> 00:52:30,279
Speaker 1: This is ridiculous and he really you know what he

1013
00:52:30,640 --> 00:52:32,520
Speaker 1: threw in the flag? He threw it in.

1014
00:52:32,719 --> 00:52:36,240
Speaker 4: Yeah, you gave him the second chance with just getting

1015
00:52:36,400 --> 00:52:38,759
Speaker 4: over him ditching your anniversary.

1016
00:52:38,880 --> 00:52:40,520
Speaker 1: Yeah. The fact the fact that he was lucky enough

1017
00:52:40,560 --> 00:52:43,680
Speaker 1: to get a second chance when ditching your anniversary, lying

1018
00:52:43,760 --> 00:52:45,839
Speaker 1: to you about everything and then putting the finger at

1019
00:52:45,920 --> 00:52:49,680
Speaker 1: you saying you deserve this, And then you're like, hey,

1020
00:52:49,719 --> 00:52:51,160
Speaker 1: you know what, maybe you should we could try this,

1021
00:52:51,360 --> 00:52:53,800
Speaker 1: work it out. I'm gonna go spend some time, like

1022
00:52:53,920 --> 00:52:56,200
Speaker 1: we need some time apart, but we're not broken up yet.

1023
00:52:56,440 --> 00:53:01,520
Speaker 1: Just give me some time. He just starts going straight

1024
00:53:01,680 --> 00:53:05,160
Speaker 1: at your ex. Yeah, and now he's doing this. Yeah,

1025
00:53:05,520 --> 00:53:07,160
Speaker 1: all right, bye bye bye, bye.

1026
00:53:08,040 --> 00:53:11,600
Speaker 4: I think my relationship is over. I wanted to try

1027
00:53:11,680 --> 00:53:14,400
Speaker 4: to address his jealousy and how he handles it to

1028
00:53:14,480 --> 00:53:17,080
Speaker 4: see if we could work things out, but he just

1029
00:53:17,280 --> 00:53:20,440
Speaker 4: isn't willing or able to talk about it without getting defensive.

1030
00:53:21,120 --> 00:53:24,120
Speaker 4: The last conversation I had with Jason was him sending

1031
00:53:24,239 --> 00:53:28,560
Speaker 4: me a screenshot of Mark apologizing to him. But this

1032
00:53:28,880 --> 00:53:32,000
Speaker 4: just feels performative. Now. I don't really know what I'll

1033
00:53:32,080 --> 00:53:35,759
Speaker 4: do now. We have some relevant comments. Comment one, are

1034
00:53:35,920 --> 00:53:39,880
Speaker 4: Jason and your parents close? Do they meet regularly? Opie

1035
00:53:39,920 --> 00:53:42,160
Speaker 4: says he was close to them when we dated, and

1036
00:53:42,280 --> 00:53:45,759
Speaker 4: they still saw him occasionally after whenever he came home

1037
00:53:45,800 --> 00:53:48,400
Speaker 4: for the holidays. If they went over to his parents' place,

1038
00:53:48,880 --> 00:53:51,360
Speaker 4: well he was there. But they don't go out of

1039
00:53:51,400 --> 00:53:54,640
Speaker 4: their way to me as far as I'm aware. Comment

1040
00:53:54,800 --> 00:53:57,520
Speaker 4: two just a tadbit strange how close your ex is

1041
00:53:57,560 --> 00:54:01,480
Speaker 4: with your parents? Lol, Just saying not making excuses for

1042
00:54:01,560 --> 00:54:06,120
Speaker 4: your new boyfriend. But whatever, Opie says, they've known him

1043
00:54:06,600 --> 00:54:09,240
Speaker 4: x his whole life, if that makes it less strange.

1044
00:54:09,280 --> 00:54:11,680
Speaker 4: He's also a doctor, guys, and they were asking for

1045
00:54:11,840 --> 00:54:12,680
Speaker 4: doctor advice.

1046
00:54:13,760 --> 00:54:15,839
Speaker 1: Again, it was very clear because I was the same way.

1047
00:54:15,840 --> 00:54:17,480
Speaker 1: I was like Oh, that's very weird. But the fact

1048
00:54:17,520 --> 00:54:20,280
Speaker 1: that I that's why I was saying, they probably knew

1049
00:54:20,520 --> 00:54:24,520
Speaker 1: Jason even way before. Yeah, they started dating. Op and

1050
00:54:24,560 --> 00:54:29,360
Speaker 1: him started dating because Op's mom and his mom are close.

1051
00:54:29,680 --> 00:54:31,839
Speaker 1: Maybe they got close when they were dating, doesn't matter.

1052
00:54:32,080 --> 00:54:32,799
Speaker 1: The families are.

1053
00:54:32,840 --> 00:54:35,239
Speaker 4: Definitely before that. What I'm saying, I mean they said

1054
00:54:35,280 --> 00:54:35,719
Speaker 4: who life.

1055
00:54:35,840 --> 00:54:38,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, so that's why I was. Yeah, so it makes

1056
00:54:38,680 --> 00:54:44,640
Speaker 1: sense and everything's cordial, and Jason respected Opie's boundaries of Okay,

1057
00:54:44,800 --> 00:54:45,839
Speaker 1: that's totally fair.

1058
00:54:45,880 --> 00:54:49,680
Speaker 4: We weren't talking if the parents overlap with Jason when

1059
00:54:49,719 --> 00:54:53,840
Speaker 4: they're at the place that Jason lives at, that's crazy.

1060
00:54:53,960 --> 00:54:57,520
Speaker 4: Don't you want Jason to like leave the state when

1061
00:54:57,880 --> 00:54:59,840
Speaker 4: your parents go to visit the Jason.

1062
00:55:00,440 --> 00:55:05,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, that's very odd that comments here again, unless

1063
00:55:05,080 --> 00:55:07,799
Speaker 1: of op he was like openly like I don't want

1064
00:55:07,840 --> 00:55:10,520
Speaker 1: you talking to Jason, cut off ties with Jason kind

1065
00:55:10,560 --> 00:55:14,160
Speaker 1: of thing, or like even then for the parents.

1066
00:55:14,400 --> 00:55:16,640
Speaker 4: Nah, I think if you're going into a relationship with

1067
00:55:16,680 --> 00:55:20,040
Speaker 4: a family friend, you have to understand that the parents

1068
00:55:20,080 --> 00:55:23,359
Speaker 4: are allowed to still remain friends after. Yeah, you don't

1069
00:55:23,400 --> 00:55:24,160
Speaker 4: have to hang out with them.

1070
00:55:24,160 --> 00:55:26,840
Speaker 1: Although something bad happened between the for sure, But that

1071
00:55:27,080 --> 00:55:33,040
Speaker 1: was amicable. It was very cordial and very amicable. We're adults, Mark, Yeah.

1072
00:55:33,160 --> 00:55:36,640
Speaker 4: Almost all of us are adults, Mark. And that's the

1073
00:55:36,760 --> 00:55:39,120
Speaker 4: end of this story. We're going on to the next one.

1074
00:55:40,440 --> 00:55:41,520
Speaker 4: John here og host.

1075
00:55:41,600 --> 00:55:43,279
Speaker 2: We're gonna get back to these stories, but a quick

1076
00:55:43,360 --> 00:55:45,000
Speaker 2: three minute break from ass from our sponsors.

1077
00:55:45,760 --> 00:55:48,640
Speaker 1: My girlfriend threw a fit just because I wouldn't lend

1078
00:55:48,719 --> 00:55:50,280
Speaker 1: her my expensive keyboard.

1079
00:55:50,320 --> 00:55:53,080
Speaker 4: You gonna say, control all delete who.

1080
00:55:53,560 --> 00:55:55,759
Speaker 1: My girlfriend and I both twenty six, got in a

1081
00:55:55,840 --> 00:55:58,680
Speaker 1: fight about this two nights ago, and she's making it

1082
00:55:58,760 --> 00:56:01,600
Speaker 1: seem like I'm being an a hole. We've been dating

1083
00:56:01,640 --> 00:56:04,560
Speaker 1: for around four and a half months. By the way,

1084
00:56:04,680 --> 00:56:07,319
Speaker 1: this comes from user tough Volcano, And if you want

1085
00:56:07,320 --> 00:56:09,280
Speaker 1: to submit your own stories, go to the r slash

1086
00:56:09,360 --> 00:56:13,239
Speaker 1: Okay storytime subburn. I'm key On, I'm Carly, and we're

1087
00:56:13,280 --> 00:56:15,840
Speaker 1: here to give good advice. Goofully. But we don't have

1088
00:56:15,960 --> 00:56:18,600
Speaker 1: all the answers. We only know what we'd do, So

1089
00:56:18,760 --> 00:56:20,600
Speaker 1: let us know what you would do in the comments.

1090
00:56:21,239 --> 00:56:24,680
Speaker 1: As Opie says, my girlfriend has a twenty thirteen Lenovo

1091
00:56:24,760 --> 00:56:28,600
Speaker 1: laptop that has seen better days as it stands right now.

1092
00:56:28,880 --> 00:56:33,080
Speaker 1: Among some other issues, her keyboard totally doesn't work yikes.

1093
00:56:33,320 --> 00:56:36,200
Speaker 1: Because of this, she always uses a small bluetooth keyboard

1094
00:56:36,280 --> 00:56:38,880
Speaker 1: with her laptop. She had texted me the next morning

1095
00:56:38,960 --> 00:56:42,399
Speaker 1: saying that her wireless keyboard had stopped working as well.

1096
00:56:43,000 --> 00:56:44,600
Speaker 1: We had already planned for me to stay the night

1097
00:56:44,640 --> 00:56:46,719
Speaker 1: at her place after I got off work, so I

1098
00:56:46,840 --> 00:56:49,080
Speaker 1: offered to stop by my place on the way to

1099
00:56:49,160 --> 00:56:52,040
Speaker 1: grab her a keyboard, as I have a few extras.

1100
00:56:52,400 --> 00:56:53,680
Speaker 4: Okay, okay.

1101
00:56:54,680 --> 00:56:57,000
Speaker 1: When I got to her place, she was eagerly awaiting

1102
00:56:57,040 --> 00:56:59,640
Speaker 1: the keyboard, which makes sense as she wasn't able to

1103
00:56:59,719 --> 00:57:02,160
Speaker 1: use her computer for most of the day. But when

1104
00:57:02,200 --> 00:57:05,040
Speaker 1: I handed her the keyboard, she started getting a She

1105
00:57:05,080 --> 00:57:08,719
Speaker 1: started getting really quiet and poudy. A bit later, when

1106
00:57:08,760 --> 00:57:11,120
Speaker 1: I asked her what was wrong, she said she thought

1107
00:57:11,160 --> 00:57:14,160
Speaker 1: I'd be bringing her something nicer, like the keyboard I

1108
00:57:14,239 --> 00:57:17,360
Speaker 1: have at my desk. The thing is, I have a

1109
00:57:17,440 --> 00:57:20,760
Speaker 1: really nice keyboard at my desk. I'm a programmer, and

1110
00:57:20,880 --> 00:57:23,440
Speaker 1: I love this keyboard so much that I also bring

1111
00:57:23,480 --> 00:57:26,080
Speaker 1: it to work with me. I have even specific macro

1112
00:57:26,200 --> 00:57:29,960
Speaker 1: profiles for it that definitely improved my workflow. For context,

1113
00:57:30,120 --> 00:57:33,400
Speaker 1: I had an extra Amazon Basics keyboard around fifteen dollars

1114
00:57:33,520 --> 00:57:37,120
Speaker 1: lying around, still brand new and in the box. My

1115
00:57:37,360 --> 00:57:40,600
Speaker 1: personal keyboard, which I've had for years, is some variant

1116
00:57:40,760 --> 00:57:43,840
Speaker 1: of the Razor black Widow around one hundred and twenty dollars.

1117
00:57:43,880 --> 00:57:45,600
Speaker 1: I was going to call it out being a razor

1118
00:57:45,760 --> 00:57:50,600
Speaker 1: or an alienware one. Anyway, she was apparently expecting me

1119
00:57:50,760 --> 00:57:54,240
Speaker 1: to be selfless and let her use my nice keyboard

1120
00:57:54,560 --> 00:57:57,760
Speaker 1: while I use the Amazon keyboard. She was upset that

1121
00:57:57,840 --> 00:58:01,120
Speaker 1: I didn't value her enough till under my nice possessions

1122
00:58:01,200 --> 00:58:04,640
Speaker 1: and left her with the cheap ten dollars keyboard. Those

1123
00:58:04,680 --> 00:58:07,720
Speaker 1: were her words. She said, if the situation was reversed,

1124
00:58:07,920 --> 00:58:10,640
Speaker 1: she'd lend me the nice keyboard. I explained to her

1125
00:58:10,760 --> 00:58:14,040
Speaker 1: that I have my keyboard specifically set up for work,

1126
00:58:14,400 --> 00:58:16,480
Speaker 1: and because I'm so used to it, it would hinder

1127
00:58:16,600 --> 00:58:18,680
Speaker 1: my ability to do work if I didn't have it.

1128
00:58:19,280 --> 00:58:22,360
Speaker 1: We continued to argue about it. Things really came to

1129
00:58:22,440 --> 00:58:24,760
Speaker 1: a head when she boldly claimed that if I wasn't

1130
00:58:24,760 --> 00:58:27,760
Speaker 1: willing to let her my nice keyboard, I should have

1131
00:58:27,840 --> 00:58:30,560
Speaker 1: bought her a nice new keyboard. If I really cared

1132
00:58:30,560 --> 00:58:31,040
Speaker 1: about her.

1133
00:58:31,160 --> 00:58:32,920
Speaker 4: Girl by yourself a keyboard.

1134
00:58:33,480 --> 00:58:35,760
Speaker 1: This is when I got really mad. I told her

1135
00:58:35,800 --> 00:58:38,440
Speaker 1: she was acting like an entitled spoiled child, and that

1136
00:58:38,520 --> 00:58:40,640
Speaker 1: she should have been grateful that I went out of

1137
00:58:40,840 --> 00:58:43,160
Speaker 1: my way in the first place to grab her the

1138
00:58:43,280 --> 00:58:47,720
Speaker 1: Amazon keyboard. Right she started crying and asked me to

1139
00:58:47,960 --> 00:58:51,080
Speaker 1: go home. I left, but I still gave her the

1140
00:58:51,120 --> 00:58:54,960
Speaker 1: Amazon keyboard to use. Very nice of you, Opie. I

1141
00:58:55,080 --> 00:58:57,160
Speaker 1: was far more upset at the principle of the situation

1142
00:58:57,600 --> 00:59:00,960
Speaker 1: than the keyboard itself. She's calling me an a hole

1143
00:59:01,200 --> 00:59:04,280
Speaker 1: for both not giving her my keyboard and for calling

1144
00:59:04,320 --> 00:59:07,040
Speaker 1: her spoiled. We're going to meet up tomorrow to talk

1145
00:59:07,040 --> 00:59:09,760
Speaker 1: about this in person because I refuse to continue this

1146
00:59:09,880 --> 00:59:13,440
Speaker 1: silly argument over text. I'm thinking about any things with

1147
00:59:13,520 --> 00:59:15,760
Speaker 1: her as I feel like this is her showing me

1148
00:59:15,880 --> 00:59:19,200
Speaker 1: her true colors. And we have some relevant comments. But

1149
00:59:19,400 --> 00:59:22,240
Speaker 1: before we get into those comments, Carly, what do we

1150
00:59:22,400 --> 00:59:24,080
Speaker 1: think she sucks?

1151
00:59:25,240 --> 00:59:27,240
Speaker 4: Be happy that you have a keyboard at all?

1152
00:59:28,160 --> 00:59:32,320
Speaker 1: Yeah? No, exactly the fact that you're expecting him to give.

1153
00:59:32,200 --> 00:59:36,280
Speaker 4: It like his fancy coating keyboard that is like pre

1154
00:59:36,520 --> 00:59:40,479
Speaker 4: set to probably a lot of shortcuts. No, he needs

1155
00:59:40,560 --> 00:59:43,320
Speaker 4: that one. Get your own, get your own keyboard. If

1156
00:59:43,320 --> 00:59:46,520
Speaker 4: you're gonna complain about keyboards, you can't pick in this case.

1157
00:59:46,560 --> 00:59:48,880
Speaker 1: And then with the complaining of like, oh, well, if

1158
00:59:48,920 --> 00:59:51,000
Speaker 1: you loved me, you would have bought me a brand

1159
00:59:51,040 --> 00:59:51,400
Speaker 1: new one.

1160
00:59:51,760 --> 00:59:53,240
Speaker 4: Girl, you buy your own keyboard.

1161
00:59:53,280 --> 00:59:56,240
Speaker 1: Excuse me, you don't buy love. You don't buy love.

1162
00:59:56,720 --> 01:00:02,040
Speaker 1: But we have some relevant comments. Relevant comment Coffee Mistake says,

1163
01:00:02,640 --> 01:00:05,680
Speaker 1: you're honestly one hundred percent right. She's acting like a

1164
01:00:05,760 --> 01:00:10,640
Speaker 1: spoiled child. Beggars don't get to be choosers. She wants

1165
01:00:10,640 --> 01:00:14,320
Speaker 1: your nice keyboard, she can buy one herself better. Yet

1166
01:00:14,680 --> 01:00:17,080
Speaker 1: she can buck up and save up for a new laptop.

1167
01:00:17,680 --> 01:00:20,360
Speaker 1: I don't blame you at all for feeling angry. I

1168
01:00:20,440 --> 01:00:22,160
Speaker 1: think you should attempt to talk through it before you

1169
01:00:22,240 --> 01:00:24,880
Speaker 1: decide to break up with her. But it is definitely

1170
01:00:24,960 --> 01:00:27,960
Speaker 1: a red flag that she's acting this way. In full

1171
01:00:28,200 --> 01:00:31,480
Speaker 1: girl says, I think you got it right when you

1172
01:00:31,560 --> 01:00:34,200
Speaker 1: said she was a spoiled brat. She should have been

1173
01:00:34,240 --> 01:00:37,320
Speaker 1: grateful that you came over with a keyboard, any kind

1174
01:00:37,360 --> 01:00:37,840
Speaker 1: of keyboard.

1175
01:00:38,200 --> 01:00:41,440
Speaker 4: Yeah, maybe you could have just not had your laptop

1176
01:00:41,520 --> 01:00:43,160
Speaker 4: until you sucked it up and bought one.

1177
01:00:44,320 --> 01:00:46,960
Speaker 1: Maybe she should take her own advice and be a

1178
01:00:47,080 --> 01:00:50,560
Speaker 1: little selfless. I would pose a question to you, if

1179
01:00:50,640 --> 01:00:53,040
Speaker 1: you two are fighting over a keyboard, what will happen

1180
01:00:53,080 --> 01:00:55,800
Speaker 1: when an issue that is a bit more serious comes up.

1181
01:00:56,320 --> 01:00:58,640
Speaker 1: Good luck with your talk. I have a feeling you're

1182
01:00:58,680 --> 01:01:03,640
Speaker 1: going didn't need it. And LMKBK says never marry someone

1183
01:01:03,720 --> 01:01:06,280
Speaker 1: until you've seen how they act on a really bad day.

1184
01:01:07,080 --> 01:01:09,080
Speaker 4: Wow, it is good advice.

1185
01:01:09,800 --> 01:01:12,280
Speaker 1: And there is an edit. She texted me asking to

1186
01:01:12,360 --> 01:01:15,360
Speaker 1: meet up tonight instead of tomorrow, as she is feeling

1187
01:01:15,400 --> 01:01:18,800
Speaker 1: anxious and stressed out about the situation. I also wanted

1188
01:01:18,840 --> 01:01:21,960
Speaker 1: to clarify that she's never acted like this before, although

1189
01:01:22,120 --> 01:01:25,160
Speaker 1: admittedly we haven't been together for very long. Some of

1190
01:01:25,200 --> 01:01:28,400
Speaker 1: you suggested that maybe I'm not making her feel valued

1191
01:01:28,680 --> 01:01:31,720
Speaker 1: and the situation is a symptom of that. While I

1192
01:01:31,800 --> 01:01:34,680
Speaker 1: think I both show and tell her that she's valued

1193
01:01:34,720 --> 01:01:37,560
Speaker 1: in different ways, this may be something I bring up

1194
01:01:37,640 --> 01:01:41,080
Speaker 1: with her. Also, the fact that you went home first

1195
01:01:41,880 --> 01:01:45,120
Speaker 1: to get an extra keyboard, you already went on of

1196
01:01:45,200 --> 01:01:48,040
Speaker 1: your way again, I don't know where people are seeing

1197
01:01:48,080 --> 01:01:52,480
Speaker 1: that from this story where she's not entitled to anything, right.

1198
01:01:52,880 --> 01:01:54,480
Speaker 4: I also think that you have to have your own

1199
01:01:54,560 --> 01:01:57,280
Speaker 4: self value and self love like that can't be reliant

1200
01:01:57,400 --> 01:02:01,600
Speaker 4: on a partner. That's a different problem altogether. Yeah, they

1201
01:02:01,640 --> 01:02:03,800
Speaker 4: could make you feel special and stuff. But it's like

1202
01:02:04,480 --> 01:02:06,440
Speaker 4: you need that on your own first.

1203
01:02:06,800 --> 01:02:09,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, especially when it comes to just items too.

1204
01:02:09,560 --> 01:02:12,520
Speaker 4: Come on, it's so materialistic at this point, this is

1205
01:02:12,560 --> 01:02:13,520
Speaker 4: over a keyboard.

1206
01:02:14,440 --> 01:02:17,800
Speaker 1: It of course doesn't forgive her behavior, but may explain

1207
01:02:17,920 --> 01:02:21,280
Speaker 1: some of it. Cheers, and we have an update. Let's

1208
01:02:21,320 --> 01:02:21,880
Speaker 1: just get stranged.

1209
01:02:22,320 --> 01:02:22,919
Speaker 4: Nothing to add.

1210
01:02:23,080 --> 01:02:26,919
Speaker 1: Yeah, So we met earlier tonight and sat down to talk.

1211
01:02:27,640 --> 01:02:30,320
Speaker 1: I was somewhat prepared to end things with her, so

1212
01:02:30,760 --> 01:02:33,120
Speaker 1: I suggested we meet at her place so that I

1213
01:02:33,160 --> 01:02:37,200
Speaker 1: could bail if things went south. And boy did they.

1214
01:02:37,880 --> 01:02:41,000
Speaker 1: Oh No. Even though I thought I made my post

1215
01:02:41,120 --> 01:02:45,280
Speaker 1: as anonymous as possible, one of my girlfriend's coworkers figured

1216
01:02:45,280 --> 01:02:49,360
Speaker 1: out who the post was about girlfriend's age working in HR,

1217
01:02:49,920 --> 01:02:53,040
Speaker 1: which I mentioned in a comment, same computer problems dating

1218
01:02:53,080 --> 01:02:57,200
Speaker 1: a programmer, et cetera, et cetera, and they sent it

1219
01:02:57,480 --> 01:03:00,400
Speaker 1: to my girlfriend. The reason she wanted to meet early

1220
01:03:00,600 --> 01:03:03,040
Speaker 1: was because she was furious that I had made the

1221
01:03:03,160 --> 01:03:06,680
Speaker 1: post airing our dirty laundry. Girl.

1222
01:03:06,680 --> 01:03:10,800
Speaker 4: Well, it's anonymous. I'm shocked someone even figured it out.

1223
01:03:11,520 --> 01:03:14,160
Speaker 1: Sometimes the world is a little bit smaller than you.

1224
01:03:14,280 --> 01:03:15,040
Speaker 4: Thing small.

1225
01:03:15,240 --> 01:03:18,480
Speaker 1: It's crazy in a sense. I guess she was right

1226
01:03:18,880 --> 01:03:21,680
Speaker 1: because at least one person had figured it out. My

1227
01:03:21,800 --> 01:03:25,000
Speaker 1: girlfriend never used read it, so I figured I was safe.

1228
01:03:25,520 --> 01:03:29,880
Speaker 1: There's a strong chance she'll read this one as well. Lol. Anyway,

1229
01:03:30,200 --> 01:03:33,400
Speaker 1: she immediately began berating me, telling me that I made

1230
01:03:33,440 --> 01:03:35,680
Speaker 1: her look bad in the post and lied about the

1231
01:03:35,760 --> 01:03:38,760
Speaker 1: details of our argument to get people on my side.

1232
01:03:39,720 --> 01:03:41,560
Speaker 1: I would love to hear it. I asked her to

1233
01:03:41,600 --> 01:03:44,440
Speaker 1: point out any part of it that wasn't true or

1234
01:03:44,520 --> 01:03:48,040
Speaker 1: where I had lied. Long story short, she couldn't point

1235
01:03:48,120 --> 01:03:49,680
Speaker 1: to a single thing.

1236
01:03:50,800 --> 01:03:51,640
Speaker 4: I'm shocked.

1237
01:03:52,520 --> 01:03:54,440
Speaker 1: I definitely raised my voice when I told her that

1238
01:03:54,600 --> 01:03:57,400
Speaker 1: if she looked bad, it was only because of her

1239
01:03:57,800 --> 01:04:01,000
Speaker 1: own actions. I told her I only made the post

1240
01:04:01,040 --> 01:04:03,960
Speaker 1: to get some perspective on the matter. The post was

1241
01:04:04,120 --> 01:04:07,680
Speaker 1: one hundred percent accurate, and she knew it. She began

1242
01:04:07,720 --> 01:04:09,400
Speaker 1: to cheer up and asked me if I really was

1243
01:04:09,520 --> 01:04:14,840
Speaker 1: considering leaving her over the keyboard. Hold on, girl, you're.

1244
01:04:14,640 --> 01:04:17,080
Speaker 4: The one who Girl, you're the one with the problem.

1245
01:04:17,280 --> 01:04:19,800
Speaker 1: You're the one who blew this whole thing out of

1246
01:04:19,840 --> 01:04:22,640
Speaker 1: proportion over a keyboard.

1247
01:04:23,120 --> 01:04:23,760
Speaker 4: Crazy.

1248
01:04:24,880 --> 01:04:27,160
Speaker 1: I asked her if she understood that this wasn't about

1249
01:04:27,200 --> 01:04:30,160
Speaker 1: the keyboard, it was about the way she acted towards

1250
01:04:30,320 --> 01:04:32,760
Speaker 1: me when I was trying to do her a favor,

1251
01:04:33,400 --> 01:04:36,760
Speaker 1: she stayed She stayed silent, and she didn't answer. I

1252
01:04:36,880 --> 01:04:39,680
Speaker 1: asked her what had prompted this outburst, if everything was

1253
01:04:39,720 --> 01:04:42,280
Speaker 1: okay with her. I asked if anything could happen with

1254
01:04:42,360 --> 01:04:45,240
Speaker 1: her friends, parents are at work that was upsetting her

1255
01:04:45,640 --> 01:04:49,000
Speaker 1: and may have led to this. She got really defensive,

1256
01:04:49,400 --> 01:04:53,320
Speaker 1: asking are you calling me crazy? And do you think

1257
01:04:53,360 --> 01:04:57,360
Speaker 1: I'm unstable? I had no idea where she was going

1258
01:04:57,440 --> 01:05:00,000
Speaker 1: with this. I told her I wasn't calling her crazy,

1259
01:05:00,640 --> 01:05:02,560
Speaker 1: but that she had to understand that I was quite

1260
01:05:02,640 --> 01:05:05,320
Speaker 1: confused about how she was acting and that there had

1261
01:05:05,400 --> 01:05:08,520
Speaker 1: to be a reason for it. We talked in circles

1262
01:05:08,560 --> 01:05:11,120
Speaker 1: for a bit and I tried to pride out of her.

1263
01:05:11,760 --> 01:05:14,280
Speaker 1: I still don't know what caused all of this, because

1264
01:05:14,320 --> 01:05:17,520
Speaker 1: she simply wouldn't tell me. When I realized our conversation

1265
01:05:17,720 --> 01:05:20,520
Speaker 1: was going nowhere, I finally asked her if we were

1266
01:05:20,600 --> 01:05:23,680
Speaker 1: going to have an adult conversation or if this was

1267
01:05:23,800 --> 01:05:26,520
Speaker 1: the hill she was willing to let the relationship pass

1268
01:05:26,560 --> 01:05:29,360
Speaker 1: away on. She asked, what do you want from me?

1269
01:05:29,720 --> 01:05:33,120
Speaker 1: And I said, I want an apology. I'm getting tired

1270
01:05:33,160 --> 01:05:35,800
Speaker 1: of typing so I'll wrap this up quickly. She was

1271
01:05:36,120 --> 01:05:41,680
Speaker 1: absolutely unwilling to apologize. She thought that my betrayal of

1272
01:05:41,800 --> 01:05:45,880
Speaker 1: posting about this was far worse than her initial behavior.

1273
01:05:46,040 --> 01:05:48,360
Speaker 1: We talked for about five more minutes before I told

1274
01:05:48,360 --> 01:05:50,920
Speaker 1: her that I didn't even care anymore. I told her

1275
01:05:51,000 --> 01:05:53,680
Speaker 1: this whole thing was exhausting, as she wasn't willing to

1276
01:05:53,680 --> 01:05:55,720
Speaker 1: help us get to the bottom of it. That was

1277
01:05:55,800 --> 01:05:58,439
Speaker 1: she just break up. I didn't waste any time making

1278
01:05:58,520 --> 01:06:01,800
Speaker 1: my way to the door. As I was leaving, she

1279
01:06:01,920 --> 01:06:04,440
Speaker 1: asked if I wanted the keyboard back. She didn't ask

1280
01:06:04,480 --> 01:06:06,640
Speaker 1: to be nice. She was definitely trying to get on

1281
01:06:06,800 --> 01:06:09,200
Speaker 1: my nerves. I could tell by her tone of voice.

1282
01:06:09,880 --> 01:06:11,840
Speaker 1: I told her she could keep it as long as

1283
01:06:11,880 --> 01:06:14,760
Speaker 1: she promised never to call or text me again. There's

1284
01:06:14,760 --> 01:06:18,440
Speaker 1: a little bit left. But Carly, yay, you.

1285
01:06:19,080 --> 01:06:22,080
Speaker 4: Broke up with the crazy dramatic girl.

1286
01:06:22,960 --> 01:06:23,920
Speaker 1: That's wild.

1287
01:06:24,080 --> 01:06:26,120
Speaker 4: That god to happen. That was crazy.

1288
01:06:26,280 --> 01:06:29,160
Speaker 1: The fact that one the post was sent to her

1289
01:06:29,800 --> 01:06:33,280
Speaker 1: and she got furious about it, and she was like,

1290
01:06:33,400 --> 01:06:36,640
Speaker 1: you lied about me? How dare you? Everyone knows it's

1291
01:06:36,640 --> 01:06:38,560
Speaker 1: about me, Like, girl, we don't even know your name.

1292
01:06:39,600 --> 01:06:43,240
Speaker 4: Also, like the fact that she's like making this post

1293
01:06:43,400 --> 01:06:45,520
Speaker 4: is way worse than what I did. And it's like,

1294
01:06:45,600 --> 01:06:46,520
Speaker 4: what's the post about?

1295
01:06:47,160 --> 01:06:49,520
Speaker 1: Could it be what you what you did, what you did,

1296
01:06:49,960 --> 01:06:52,680
Speaker 1: and how you can't take accountability for what you were

1297
01:06:52,720 --> 01:06:54,680
Speaker 1: doing and how you're just ungrateful.

1298
01:06:55,720 --> 01:06:56,920
Speaker 4: If he made a post and he was like, this

1299
01:06:57,080 --> 01:06:59,440
Speaker 4: is my girlfriend Sarah, she is twenty five and she

1300
01:06:59,560 --> 01:07:03,640
Speaker 4: works at this specific HR firm, then like, yeah, I'd

1301
01:07:03,680 --> 01:07:07,640
Speaker 4: be like, dude, you're air and everything out. But no,

1302
01:07:07,800 --> 01:07:11,320
Speaker 4: this is comlely anonymous. It's insane that someone even figured

1303
01:07:11,320 --> 01:07:11,520
Speaker 4: it out.

1304
01:07:11,560 --> 01:07:14,120
Speaker 1: In sense, she felt like, oh my gosh, now the

1305
01:07:14,200 --> 01:07:17,320
Speaker 1: internet's after me. The internet's after you because you were wrong.

1306
01:07:17,480 --> 01:07:19,080
Speaker 4: Because you're wrong girl, and.

1307
01:07:19,120 --> 01:07:21,800
Speaker 1: You can't take that. But oh my gosh, everyone's calling me.

1308
01:07:24,720 --> 01:07:27,600
Speaker 1: Let's finish off this story. I've been getting tons of

1309
01:07:27,760 --> 01:07:31,480
Speaker 1: not so nice messages from her friends, which finally propped

1310
01:07:31,560 --> 01:07:34,240
Speaker 1: me to delete my Facebook. She obviously told her friends

1311
01:07:34,280 --> 01:07:36,800
Speaker 1: some false version of the story, which made it seem

1312
01:07:36,880 --> 01:07:39,800
Speaker 1: like I really did leave her over the keyboard. Good

1313
01:07:39,920 --> 01:07:43,720
Speaker 1: you did? Wow, that's insane. Also, you did, but you did?

1314
01:07:44,440 --> 01:07:47,040
Speaker 1: But she started this because of the keyboard, right. I

1315
01:07:47,120 --> 01:07:50,400
Speaker 1: couldn't care less as I'll never be seeing any of them. Again,

1316
01:07:51,000 --> 01:07:53,560
Speaker 1: we only dated for around four months, so in the end,

1317
01:07:54,080 --> 01:07:58,280
Speaker 1: I don't feel terribly heartbroken, mostly just relief that it's over,

1318
01:07:58,960 --> 01:08:02,919
Speaker 1: but also confusion. Still have no idea why she acted

1319
01:08:02,960 --> 01:08:05,600
Speaker 1: out And to the people who had someone kind words

1320
01:08:05,640 --> 01:08:10,560
Speaker 1: towards me because I use a razor keyboard pound sand Doris,

1321
01:08:10,800 --> 01:08:13,360
Speaker 1: I like what I like, And there's a top comment here,

1322
01:08:13,960 --> 01:08:17,080
Speaker 1: oceans of Umbrellas says. I saw a comment on Reddit

1323
01:08:17,200 --> 01:08:19,679
Speaker 1: a while back that asked why so many relationships fail

1324
01:08:19,720 --> 01:08:23,479
Speaker 1: at approximately the three month point, and someone no, I'm

1325
01:08:23,520 --> 01:08:25,639
Speaker 1: not going to spend twenty plus minutes googling to give

1326
01:08:25,680 --> 01:08:28,479
Speaker 1: credit to the person replied that they'd once been told

1327
01:08:28,600 --> 01:08:31,160
Speaker 1: it was because it was really hard for people to

1328
01:08:31,280 --> 01:08:34,240
Speaker 1: continue pretending to be someone they weren't for much longer

1329
01:08:34,280 --> 01:08:39,760
Speaker 1: than three months. I think maybe this applies to your situation. Yeah, yeah,

1330
01:08:40,439 --> 01:08:43,160
Speaker 1: and that is the end of that story. You dodged

1331
01:08:43,640 --> 01:08:47,200
Speaker 1: a missile. Yeah, I think you dodged a missile because boy,

1332
01:08:47,200 --> 01:08:51,200
Speaker 1: oh boy, she Crai Cray? What is she not? Craig Cray?

1333
01:08:51,400 --> 01:08:52,719
Speaker 4: She is? You're just silly goofy.

1334
01:08:52,960 --> 01:08:54,080
Speaker 1: I'm silly goofy right now