WEBVTT - Featuring Monica Padman 0:00:00.080 --> 0:00:04.200 M Hey guys, it's Sammy Jay and welcome back to 0:00:04.240 --> 0:00:07.880 my podcast Let's Be Real. And today I am so 0:00:07.960 --> 0:00:13.000 thrilled because this week I got to chat with podcaster, actor, producer, 0:00:13.119 --> 0:00:16.800 and editor Monica Padmin. I love this episode. We get 0:00:16.800 --> 0:00:20.280 into some very interesting topics that we haven't explored yet 0:00:20.280 --> 0:00:22.560 on this podcast, so I'm excited for you to check 0:00:22.600 --> 0:00:28.400 it out. Enjoying. Hi Montica, and welcome to the Let's 0:00:28.400 --> 0:00:32.080 Burial Podcast. Hi, thank you for having me. I am 0:00:32.159 --> 0:00:33.960 so honored to have you. You are one of my 0:00:34.000 --> 0:00:38.199 favorite podcasters and I genuinely look up to you so 0:00:38.280 --> 0:00:42.479 much because your drive and just the way you're just 0:00:42.520 --> 0:00:47.080 a go getter and it's really inspiring. Thank you, Thank you. 0:00:47.320 --> 0:00:52.320 That's um, that's such a nice compliment. And I think one, 0:00:53.400 --> 0:00:57.160 um that I can take amazing as you should, take 0:00:57.200 --> 0:00:59.960 it as you should. So something that I want to 0:01:00.000 --> 0:01:03.000 talk about is when did you first think, Okay, I 0:01:03.040 --> 0:01:05.920 want to be in the entertainment industry in some way, 0:01:05.920 --> 0:01:08.200 shape or form. I'm not sure what, but I want 0:01:08.200 --> 0:01:11.880 to be in it. Well when I was. And I 0:01:11.920 --> 0:01:13.840 sound like a broken record because I've talked about this lot, 0:01:13.840 --> 0:01:18.759 but this is the truth. Um, Let's be real man. Yeah, exactly, exactly. Um. 0:01:18.840 --> 0:01:22.280 When I was in eighth grade, I saw Good while 0:01:22.360 --> 0:01:25.679 hunting for the first time. And then I also at 0:01:25.720 --> 0:01:28.760 the same time was getting super into Friends, the TV 0:01:28.840 --> 0:01:31.839 show Who Hasn't Had? If you haven't gotten super into Friends, 0:01:31.920 --> 0:01:36.200 You've missed out on life, You've missed out on serotonin. Honestly, 0:01:36.480 --> 0:01:39.040 you really have. And I'd encourage you to get into it. 0:01:39.040 --> 0:01:42.840 It's a mental health fix, it really is. Um. But yes, 0:01:42.959 --> 0:01:45.840 So I was super into those things, and they like 0:01:46.120 --> 0:01:51.280 transported me. I was living in fantasy land all the 0:01:51.400 --> 0:01:54.000 time after seeing that, of like, I want to be 0:01:55.080 --> 0:01:58.240 in something like either of those things, Like I want 0:01:58.280 --> 0:02:01.320 to be a part of what they're doing, which is 0:02:01.320 --> 0:02:05.760 making other people feel like I feel. Um, And so 0:02:05.800 --> 0:02:08.880 I just assumed that was acting because it's just the 0:02:09.000 --> 0:02:11.480 first one, Like they're on the screen. Yeah, what else 0:02:11.560 --> 0:02:14.239 is there. I didn't know anything about producers or directing 0:02:14.360 --> 0:02:16.680 or anything. I just was like, Okay, I want so 0:02:16.720 --> 0:02:17.760 I want to do that. So I want to be 0:02:17.800 --> 0:02:23.079 an actor. And then in ninth grade I joined theater. 0:02:23.480 --> 0:02:26.480 I did theater and I was like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, 0:02:26.520 --> 0:02:29.760 this is right, this is the right fell that home. Yes, 0:02:29.919 --> 0:02:32.880 I loved it. I mean I was terrified, but I 0:02:32.960 --> 0:02:35.600 loved it. And it's so rare, like I'm scared of 0:02:35.800 --> 0:02:40.000 everything basically too. And but it's I'm an anxious girly 0:02:40.280 --> 0:02:43.840 yes exactly. I'm just like filled with butterflies absolutely all 0:02:43.880 --> 0:02:45.920 the time, all the time. But it was it was 0:02:45.919 --> 0:02:49.480 a weird thing to experience that anxiety but then have 0:02:49.600 --> 0:02:53.000 it to be positive. That's how I feel with the podcast. 0:02:53.800 --> 0:02:56.600 I know exactly what you're talking about. Like it's you're scared, 0:02:56.880 --> 0:02:58.520 and then you come out on the other end you're like, 0:02:58.600 --> 0:03:02.359 I'm better I'm better off for it, and I get 0:03:02.400 --> 0:03:04.920 your creative energy. I just I did love it. So 0:03:04.919 --> 0:03:08.679 it's like, Okay, well that's done, I'm doing that now 0:03:08.680 --> 0:03:11.639 we know um. And so yeah, that was the first. 0:03:11.800 --> 0:03:14.440 That was sort of the first iterational. So theater, what 0:03:14.600 --> 0:03:16.880 was your favorite musical you put on or play? I 0:03:16.880 --> 0:03:19.360 have to ask. I'm from a musical theater family too. 0:03:19.560 --> 0:03:21.880 You are, well, you're gonna be mad at me then, 0:03:22.560 --> 0:03:26.720 because I don't like musical I don't like musicals. I 0:03:26.800 --> 0:03:31.440 like straight plays. And in high school, the best thing 0:03:31.840 --> 0:03:36.200 we did and this was so informative for me as 0:03:36.200 --> 0:03:39.800 a person. It was incredible. My senior year, our theater 0:03:39.920 --> 0:03:43.880 class we wrote a play as a whole class, and 0:03:43.920 --> 0:03:47.400 they were like these little vignettes, so sketches we wrote 0:03:47.560 --> 0:03:50.520 basically sketches. We were paired and we like had these 0:03:50.520 --> 0:03:53.080 different groups for these different sketches and we wrote them. 0:03:53.120 --> 0:03:54.480 And then we put on this play and it was 0:03:54.520 --> 0:03:56.840 about high school and it was like sort you know, 0:03:56.920 --> 0:04:02.000 nods to our own high school and it was life changing. 0:04:02.320 --> 0:04:06.880 It was so fun and it was so cathartic, and 0:04:07.800 --> 0:04:11.240 it was um it sold, you know, no one came 0:04:11.280 --> 0:04:14.160 to plays like at my school. It was like you 0:04:14.160 --> 0:04:15.880 know football. It was in the South. It was like 0:04:16.400 --> 0:04:20.480 plays never sold out where the musical theater kids were at. 0:04:21.520 --> 0:04:24.840 So it was but it was three nights we um 0:04:24.960 --> 0:04:27.320 put on that play and it sold out every night 0:04:27.400 --> 0:04:29.600 and it was like a big deal and it was 0:04:29.640 --> 0:04:31.560 a big deal. It's like have you seen the play? 0:04:31.720 --> 0:04:34.440 And it was so cool to be a part of 0:04:34.480 --> 0:04:36.880 that and the fact that we had written it like 0:04:37.560 --> 0:04:41.479 your baby, it added a new layer of of ownership 0:04:41.720 --> 0:04:44.960 that obviously in high school you never ever ever get. 0:04:45.040 --> 0:04:49.039 I'm so grateful to my theater teacher. Her name was 0:04:49.120 --> 0:04:53.440 Miss Vetter. Shout out the net better and um, she 0:04:53.640 --> 0:04:56.159 was like, who would have thought to put a bunch 0:04:56.200 --> 0:04:58.840 of high schoolers in charge of writing a play? And 0:04:58.920 --> 0:05:02.280 she did and it was unbelievable. So from that experience, 0:05:02.400 --> 0:05:05.320 was it the writing part or the collaboration of collaborating 0:05:05.360 --> 0:05:09.440 with people around you? Because I've noticed I love collaboration. 0:05:09.600 --> 0:05:12.720 It is there's nothing like it. There is nothing like it. 0:05:12.760 --> 0:05:15.520 And I think when I was watching like Friends and 0:05:16.000 --> 0:05:18.799 like in retrospect, watching Friends and watching good Will Hunting, 0:05:18.920 --> 0:05:22.159 it was honestly that that I was drawn to more 0:05:22.200 --> 0:05:25.440 than acting. I think I didn't know that, but now 0:05:25.680 --> 0:05:27.400 seeing it from a bird's eye view, I can see 0:05:27.440 --> 0:05:29.960 like like the Ben and Matt writing it, like that 0:05:30.000 --> 0:05:33.840 whole story, and then the ensemble of friends, like that's 0:05:33.839 --> 0:05:38.000 what I was drawn to. Is this like camaraderie within creativity? 0:05:38.040 --> 0:05:42.359 I think? And so in yes, the collaboration piece, the 0:05:42.440 --> 0:05:46.040 writing piece too. I mean I love writing, I always have, 0:05:46.200 --> 0:05:51.839 but that felt so different, like words like dialogue, felt 0:05:52.000 --> 0:05:55.000 so different than what I've been used to writing, and 0:05:55.360 --> 0:05:57.520 it was just so fun, it was so eye opening. 0:05:58.080 --> 0:06:02.000 I love experiences like that because they truly shape so much. 0:06:02.200 --> 0:06:04.080 I think one of my favorite parts. And maybe It's 0:06:04.080 --> 0:06:06.159 why I love like Parks and Wreck in the Office 0:06:06.200 --> 0:06:09.000 and shows like that, is that there's always like through 0:06:09.120 --> 0:06:12.200 elements that kind of overlay throughout that you'll pick up on. 0:06:12.320 --> 0:06:14.240 You're like, oh, every time you watch you pick up 0:06:14.240 --> 0:06:19.040 on something different. Yes, yes, I agree. So I want 0:06:19.080 --> 0:06:22.440 to talk about armchair experts. Okay, so you came up 0:06:22.600 --> 0:06:26.120 the format. You're the one that ish ish I can't 0:06:26.160 --> 0:06:28.440 take all you know obviously obviously you can't take all 0:06:28.440 --> 0:06:31.400 the credits, but I think, I think, But it's also 0:06:32.080 --> 0:06:34.160 it just has so much of you in it, thank 0:06:34.200 --> 0:06:36.479 and that's what's so special about it. And I was 0:06:36.480 --> 0:06:39.960 wondering when you came up with when you're creating these podcasts, 0:06:39.960 --> 0:06:44.120 what's the most unexpected lesson you've learned about yourself that 0:06:44.279 --> 0:06:47.400 you didn't expect to going into it. That's a great question. 0:06:47.520 --> 0:06:51.560 I think for me, the biggest that I've learned from 0:06:51.600 --> 0:06:55.120 all of them, all the months we've done um, including 0:06:55.480 --> 0:06:58.120 in majorly one that's about to come out on Fertility 0:06:59.000 --> 0:07:03.719 about yes, is I am like, no holds bar, I'm 0:07:03.760 --> 0:07:06.119 just like I am fine to just kind of spill 0:07:06.320 --> 0:07:09.600 every single thing I'm thinking and feeling and going through. 0:07:10.120 --> 0:07:13.800 I would not have expected that going in, and even 0:07:13.840 --> 0:07:17.600 at the very beginning, I was hesitant and I talked 0:07:17.640 --> 0:07:19.320 to DX about it. I was like, I don't know, 0:07:19.640 --> 0:07:25.840 like this feels very vulnerable, and He's like, yeah, I 0:07:25.880 --> 0:07:27.880 mean you don't have to, but it's going to be 0:07:27.880 --> 0:07:30.760 better off for it, and not like not like oh, 0:07:30.840 --> 0:07:34.760 it'll be a good show if you're like crying, but 0:07:35.240 --> 0:07:41.160 just like authenticity is always what reads, it's the best. Yeah. 0:07:41.320 --> 0:07:44.080 So I was like, all right, it's like my might 0:07:44.120 --> 0:07:47.360 as well. Is it weird when people like know things 0:07:47.400 --> 0:07:49.720 about you and they come up to you and you're like, wait, 0:07:50.120 --> 0:07:53.520 how do you know that very particular random fact about me? 0:07:53.560 --> 0:07:56.000 It's like did I share that? Yes. It's happened a 0:07:56.080 --> 0:07:58.520 couple of times where I'm like, oh, yeah, I talked 0:07:58.600 --> 0:08:02.200 about that and now and now people know. Um. But 0:08:02.360 --> 0:08:05.200 it's were the times where I've been like, oh, I 0:08:05.240 --> 0:08:07.240 need to be a little careful is when I talk 0:08:07.280 --> 0:08:10.520 about other people. Not badly, of course, but like when 0:08:10.560 --> 0:08:13.360 I'm talking about people in my life and I'm like, oh, 0:08:13.400 --> 0:08:15.800 I was at this this with this person and then 0:08:15.840 --> 0:08:20.200 they said this, I don't think about that, and I 0:08:20.280 --> 0:08:23.240 made it any conversation though, you know, yeah, but I 0:08:23.280 --> 0:08:26.240 tell you know, we tell stories about our lives and 0:08:26.280 --> 0:08:29.880 our friends, and sometimes I'm like, Wow, they're a little 0:08:29.920 --> 0:08:32.079 more private than me, So I need to be a 0:08:32.160 --> 0:08:36.120 little bit more careful. I've been trying to immerse myself 0:08:36.160 --> 0:08:39.360 in creativity as much as possible, because I've noticed that 0:08:39.360 --> 0:08:43.360 that's when I'm just feeling most myself. I love that. 0:08:43.520 --> 0:08:46.800 But burnout is real, and that is something that I 0:08:46.880 --> 0:08:49.520 was wondering if you've ever experienced and if you have 0:08:49.559 --> 0:08:51.840 any advice song, because I know a lot of people 0:08:52.120 --> 0:08:55.440 that I can overwork themselves, and I feel like hustle 0:08:55.480 --> 0:08:58.959 and grind culture is so emphasized right now and glorified 0:08:59.000 --> 0:09:00.959 and it's not good to not take care of your 0:09:00.960 --> 0:09:03.440 mental health and your social beings. I was wondering if 0:09:03.440 --> 0:09:06.960 that's something that you've gone through a hundred I mean, 0:09:07.720 --> 0:09:10.600 I don't know if I have advice, I need advice, 0:09:11.160 --> 0:09:16.360 I don't. UM. My advice would be to make sure 0:09:16.440 --> 0:09:20.000 because like in this job, in my job, um, I 0:09:20.040 --> 0:09:23.280 could be working all the time. I could be because 0:09:23.280 --> 0:09:26.120 I also edit our show, so and we have lots 0:09:26.120 --> 0:09:30.240 of shows, and so at any moment, I could be 0:09:30.320 --> 0:09:34.200 sitting down and working on one of those things. So 0:09:34.840 --> 0:09:39.040 my advice that I've tried to implement and done well 0:09:39.559 --> 0:09:43.040 is like I am going out to dinner with my 0:09:43.120 --> 0:09:46.760 friend on Tuesday. I am going to go get a 0:09:46.880 --> 0:09:52.319 drink with Jess on Monday. Like I plan in time, 0:09:53.400 --> 0:09:58.640 recreational time, because if I don't, then I'll I'll work. 0:09:59.480 --> 0:10:02.200 Like so your podcast, you have to live life to 0:10:02.200 --> 0:10:05.280 be able to talk about it. Very true, very true. 0:10:05.320 --> 0:10:09.640 But you have to like tell yourself, I I it's 0:10:09.640 --> 0:10:14.040 okay to say yes to um things that feel quote 0:10:14.160 --> 0:10:18.400 fun or extra, even though you have work to do. 0:10:19.400 --> 0:10:22.040 It's really important for balance, even if it means I 0:10:22.040 --> 0:10:24.679 mean for me, even if it means like okay, I 0:10:24.720 --> 0:10:28.520 am going to say yes to this dinner date and 0:10:28.600 --> 0:10:31.960 then maybe it means I go home and I'm up 0:10:32.040 --> 0:10:35.320 late working, but it's still important to put that other 0:10:35.400 --> 0:10:39.559 piece in exact for me. No, I it's it's something 0:10:39.600 --> 0:10:42.840 that I find that's hard to prioritize. But I notice 0:10:42.920 --> 0:10:46.200 what I don't the negative effects of it. Yes, it's 0:10:46.240 --> 0:10:48.920 I mean, it is real when you're fully immersed in 0:10:48.960 --> 0:10:52.680 work and work only it is it's too much like 0:10:52.720 --> 0:10:54.480 I don't know, I don't know. We're built to be 0:10:54.559 --> 0:10:56.680 that way. No, especially when you don't work at nine 0:10:56.720 --> 0:10:58.760 to five and there's no hard cut off. You have 0:10:58.800 --> 0:11:01.160 to create those boundaries yourself, and if you've a lot 0:11:01.200 --> 0:11:04.080 to get done and it gets so blurred. Yes, I 0:11:04.120 --> 0:11:07.319 literally that's funny that you brought it up. Yesterday or Sunday. 0:11:07.360 --> 0:11:10.640 I like wrote out a calendar for the week because 0:11:10.640 --> 0:11:11.959 I was like, that's what I do. I have to 0:11:11.960 --> 0:11:15.199 write everything, yes, but I normally don't. I'm like, okay, 0:11:15.280 --> 0:11:17.840 you know, I can figure it out. But I thought, 0:11:18.240 --> 0:11:22.120 I really need to write out a schedule for the 0:11:22.200 --> 0:11:24.800 week so I don't get super Otherwise I was just 0:11:24.840 --> 0:11:27.160 like so overwhelmed. This week is going to be crazy 0:11:27.720 --> 0:11:30.880 by the time. Yes, it helped, like it helped put 0:11:30.920 --> 0:11:32.800 some structure to it and not feel like it's just 0:11:32.800 --> 0:11:36.839 just like wait over you. Yeah, I've noticed. For me, 0:11:37.240 --> 0:11:39.800 I feel so I'm going to forget something unless I 0:11:39.840 --> 0:11:42.320 write it down. I have to like writing down my 0:11:42.400 --> 0:11:45.040 to do list are the most calming part of my day, 0:11:45.280 --> 0:11:48.360 and then checking them off is the most satisfying part. 0:11:49.600 --> 0:11:52.680 It just hits different. It's really special. It's really something 0:11:53.040 --> 0:11:57.560 about editing. What about it? Do you like it? Piecing together? 0:11:57.679 --> 0:12:01.360 The story is it kind of replaying it back because 0:12:01.360 --> 0:12:03.959 I know you can learn so much just from editing. 0:12:04.280 --> 0:12:07.840 I've learned so much about people in general, a lot 0:12:07.880 --> 0:12:13.800 about myself. Um yeah, because you can hear it objectively, 0:12:14.720 --> 0:12:18.000 and you don't normally in life get to hear yourself objectively, 0:12:18.120 --> 0:12:19.920 So it's kind of a privileged point of view. I 0:12:20.320 --> 0:12:24.600 do like that, um. I like and I will shout 0:12:24.600 --> 0:12:27.520 out my friend Emma, who also we've we've brought on 0:12:27.600 --> 0:12:30.120 recently and she also helps with editing. So she goes 0:12:30.160 --> 0:12:34.480 through first, and then I go through and I edit 0:12:34.559 --> 0:12:37.040 for content. So she goes in now and she takes 0:12:37.080 --> 0:12:41.200 out the ums and the likes, and you know, she 0:12:41.320 --> 0:12:43.840 has some instructions on what to do, and then I 0:12:43.960 --> 0:12:46.320 go in and I decide, like what stays, what goes. 0:12:46.720 --> 0:12:51.840 I really like having a say in the end product 0:12:51.960 --> 0:12:54.840 because it's a whole process. You know, we record and 0:12:54.880 --> 0:12:58.920 then it's booking the guests. It's like, exactly, people don't 0:12:58.960 --> 0:13:02.120 realize on the back end of it, Like it's so 0:13:02.280 --> 0:13:05.840 time consuming and it's more than just the episode, so 0:13:05.920 --> 0:13:08.720 much more. Yeah, you're right, it starts way before that. Yeah, 0:13:08.760 --> 0:13:11.040 it's the it's the reach out, and then it's the 0:13:11.920 --> 0:13:18.080 long time before we may schedule, reschedule this. Yeah, and 0:13:18.160 --> 0:13:22.440 so by the time we get the edit, it feels 0:13:22.480 --> 0:13:25.160 complete and I like and I like that, and I like, 0:13:25.720 --> 0:13:29.440 I mean, really, it's my fingerprint, you know. I'm deciding 0:13:29.640 --> 0:13:31.880 what says, what goes, How provocative do we want to be? 0:13:31.960 --> 0:13:34.640 How provocative do we not want to be? I get 0:13:34.679 --> 0:13:38.839 to make those decisions, and so it's feels rewarding. I 0:13:38.840 --> 0:13:41.320 think I do think editing feeling and because it's just 0:13:41.520 --> 0:13:45.200 so tedious. It is so tedious that when you complete it, 0:13:45.200 --> 0:13:48.480 you do feel like you've really accomplished something. Oh it 0:13:48.520 --> 0:13:50.600 feels like you just ran a marathon in a weird way. 0:13:50.880 --> 0:13:54.040 You're like, yes, for your brain, for your brain. Absolutely, 0:13:54.080 --> 0:13:57.640 that's what it's like. Yeah, Okay, we have to take 0:13:57.760 --> 0:13:59.800 one quick break. But when we come back, I wanted 0:13:59.760 --> 0:14:02.240 to Ivan and talk about your new podcast, Race the 0:14:02.360 --> 0:14:05.520 thirty five, which I am so fascinated by. Also what 0:14:05.640 --> 0:14:08.720 it's like working with Kristen and Dax and so much more. 0:14:09.200 --> 0:14:17.800 We'll be right back and we're back. I'm very excited 0:14:17.840 --> 0:14:21.160 to talk to you about this new podcast coming because 0:14:21.960 --> 0:14:24.720 um so I have a new Betrios. You do, Okay, 0:14:24.760 --> 0:14:27.600 you do, and I was told that seventeen to freeze 0:14:27.600 --> 0:14:33.520 my eggs. I did not because another doctor told me 0:14:33.560 --> 0:14:37.360 not to. But I understand the fact that this is 0:14:37.360 --> 0:14:41.200 a conversation that has been brought up so early in 0:14:41.240 --> 0:14:43.680 my life that I've had to deal with. I truly 0:14:43.720 --> 0:14:45.920 am like so excited to get into this conversation with 0:14:46.000 --> 0:14:48.920 you because it's so not discussed enough at all. I 0:14:48.960 --> 0:14:52.720 mean it is in some ways, but I found that 0:14:52.760 --> 0:14:58.240 it's normally spoken about so clinically, and that's really why 0:14:58.280 --> 0:14:59.920 I wanted to do this. So, yes, we have the 0:15:00.000 --> 0:15:03.120 a show. It's called Race to thirty five. Um, it's 0:15:03.200 --> 0:15:08.720 under our armchair umbrella and the network work of the network. 0:15:08.800 --> 0:15:10.840 Yeah that is, that is what it is. We just 0:15:10.880 --> 0:15:15.160 call it an umbrella. Uh but yeah. So it's me 0:15:15.520 --> 0:15:18.840 and Liz Plank. We co host and she's the best, 0:15:19.480 --> 0:15:22.600 and we got to know each other really well, really quick. 0:15:22.840 --> 0:15:25.440 You gotta if this is the topic. It was crazy. 0:15:25.480 --> 0:15:28.080 It was crazy. We just got like jumped in the 0:15:28.120 --> 0:15:30.800 deep end and did this together. We froze her exit 0:15:30.840 --> 0:15:34.440 at the same time, and we followed that whole process 0:15:34.680 --> 0:15:37.240 and so each episode, at the top of each episode 0:15:37.320 --> 0:15:42.400 is us talking about how we're feeling talking about, you know, 0:15:42.640 --> 0:15:46.040 the new thoughts and feelings. We've had the shots from 0:15:46.080 --> 0:15:49.280 the night before, which we did together every night, and 0:15:49.280 --> 0:15:50.880 and then the rest of the episode is us talking 0:15:50.880 --> 0:15:53.400 to someone with an interesting fertility story or an expert 0:15:53.520 --> 0:16:01.400 in the field, and it's I'm I I'm really proud 0:16:01.440 --> 0:16:07.360 of It is so intimate, obviously, like it's our bodies. 0:16:07.600 --> 0:16:13.720 It's no one. You know, you're not supposed to compare 0:16:14.120 --> 0:16:16.240 or worry about the result. But at the end of 0:16:16.240 --> 0:16:19.920 the day, there's a result. You get a number of eggs, 0:16:20.160 --> 0:16:24.120 and so there's also this kind of pressure. There is 0:16:24.200 --> 0:16:28.480 so much pressure that I already feel and I'm twenty yeah, 0:16:28.800 --> 0:16:32.200 and it's crazy that you're ticking time like you gotta go, 0:16:32.600 --> 0:16:36.400 and it's like, no, yes, yes, I know, I know, 0:16:36.640 --> 0:16:42.280 you you deaf, you have time. Don't worry. There's so 0:16:42.320 --> 0:16:47.520 many different women's issues that also coincide with it, like 0:16:47.600 --> 0:16:51.080 it's all intertwined, oh for sure. And the thing is 0:16:51.120 --> 0:16:55.239 that's funny is we walk around and we don't necessarily 0:16:55.280 --> 0:16:58.920 know these things about our bodies unless there's a reason 0:16:59.000 --> 0:17:01.720 to know. If there's a problem or you're in pain 0:17:01.840 --> 0:17:04.919 or something, and you go seek out professional normally, like 0:17:05.000 --> 0:17:07.480 at the very beginning of this process, what you do 0:17:07.640 --> 0:17:11.200 is you go in, they give you a transmaginal ultrasound 0:17:11.320 --> 0:17:13.920 and they look to see how many follicles you have. 0:17:16.480 --> 0:17:20.720 It is so cool, It is so cool. It's magic. 0:17:21.000 --> 0:17:24.800 I mean the fact that they can see inside you 0:17:24.920 --> 0:17:27.840 and know how many follicles you have that will maybe 0:17:28.200 --> 0:17:31.119 or maybe not trying to like mature intoath. I know, 0:17:31.400 --> 0:17:36.920 it's fascinating, but you know that early first um and 0:17:37.200 --> 0:17:42.880 that's kind of the maximount you'll have. And and it's 0:17:43.000 --> 0:17:47.240 funny because you get that number and you start, you know, 0:17:47.600 --> 0:17:51.359 in an our case, spiraling or thinking about that or 0:17:51.400 --> 0:17:54.120 what does it mean? And is it scary? Is it not? 0:17:54.760 --> 0:17:57.080 And it's funny because I was like, well, if I 0:17:57.119 --> 0:17:59.399 hadn't frozen my eggs, I wouldn't. I would never know 0:17:59.480 --> 0:18:02.600 that number, would never know that number, even though it exists. 0:18:02.359 --> 0:18:04.959 It's so crazy. I would never know. And even if 0:18:05.000 --> 0:18:07.120 if I got pregnant, like a lot of my friends 0:18:07.160 --> 0:18:09.440 who have gotten pregnant naturally, they don't know how many 0:18:09.480 --> 0:18:13.399 follicles they have. They just got pregnant. It's very interesting 0:18:13.560 --> 0:18:17.800 to do it this way where you you know so 0:18:17.880 --> 0:18:20.919 much maybe too much. Yeah, do you think you know 0:18:21.119 --> 0:18:23.720 you knew too much information going into it? As a 0:18:23.760 --> 0:18:27.080 fellow of anxious girly? Like, how does that affect the 0:18:27.880 --> 0:18:30.400 connection between the two, because I don't know of how 0:18:30.480 --> 0:18:33.320 I would do well knowing all of that? Well, is 0:18:33.320 --> 0:18:36.399 there a sense of relief also having that information? I 0:18:36.440 --> 0:18:42.359 think it depending on your personal situation, it can be. Um, 0:18:42.480 --> 0:18:45.520 I think, I mean, if you're deciding to freeze your eggs, 0:18:46.480 --> 0:18:48.679 you have to know that information. It's part of it. 0:18:48.720 --> 0:18:51.879 I mean, it's part of the whole deal. So I 0:18:51.920 --> 0:18:53.919 get you know, It's not like, oh I wish I 0:18:53.960 --> 0:18:56.399 didn't know, because that's like the point. The point is 0:18:56.880 --> 0:19:01.600 to know how many you have for your insurance? But 0:19:01.760 --> 0:19:03.960 do I wish I had not done it so that 0:19:04.040 --> 0:19:08.200 I never knew? No, I'm glad, I'm I'm glad I 0:19:08.240 --> 0:19:11.440 went through that process. What have you learned most about yourself? 0:19:11.600 --> 0:19:13.800 I think, I mean, this is like such a bold 0:19:14.080 --> 0:19:17.800 statement before, but now I'm I'm wishy washing on it. 0:19:17.920 --> 0:19:20.800 During it, I will say, during it, I was like, 0:19:21.080 --> 0:19:24.320 I definitely want to have kids, and which I did 0:19:24.400 --> 0:19:30.880 not know before. I didn't I didn't feel like I'm 0:19:30.880 --> 0:19:33.040 one of those people who has to have kids. You know, 0:19:33.119 --> 0:19:38.600 some women are like four and they're like, I'm a mom, yes, 0:19:38.960 --> 0:19:41.000 and they just know if they have like really strong 0:19:41.040 --> 0:19:44.280 maternal instincts from early on, they know. I mean, I 0:19:44.320 --> 0:19:47.480 think some of that is societal, like a lot of it. 0:19:47.520 --> 0:19:50.640 But also I do I know these people, like I 0:19:50.720 --> 0:19:54.720 do sense that some people are like, yeah, I'm I'm 0:19:54.840 --> 0:19:59.159 meant to be a mom, And I never had that. Um. Also, 0:19:59.240 --> 0:20:02.880 I mean, I have an and credible mother. She's so 0:20:02.920 --> 0:20:07.520 good and so like, she's perfect, perfect for me. But 0:20:07.840 --> 0:20:12.119 she wasn't like the most maternal mom, and so I 0:20:12.160 --> 0:20:15.080 didn't also have that modeled. So I never was like 0:20:15.560 --> 0:20:18.960 this is what I like, tiny baby in my arms 0:20:19.040 --> 0:20:21.960 or whatever. Like she wasn't like looking at babies nearby 0:20:22.119 --> 0:20:24.840 in the grocery store and like oh, like she didn't 0:20:24.840 --> 0:20:27.600 do that, and so either do I. I don't do 0:20:27.640 --> 0:20:30.959 that either. Um So I didn't know. I've always been 0:20:31.000 --> 0:20:33.520 on the fence, but during the process was like, no 0:20:33.800 --> 0:20:37.800 I do. Now that I'm out of it, I'm bad. 0:20:38.880 --> 0:20:41.200 Like I don't know. It's hard to know when you're 0:20:41.240 --> 0:20:44.719 on so many hormones. What's real? Tell me about it? 0:20:44.880 --> 0:20:47.480 I had had got a birth control, or went on 0:20:47.520 --> 0:20:50.240 birth control and it gave me cystic acne. That's really 0:20:50.240 --> 0:20:52.240 funny that you say that, because I had really bad 0:20:52.240 --> 0:20:55.160 cystic acne. The only thing that worked was birth control. 0:20:55.400 --> 0:20:58.760 It's so interesting how it affects everyone so differently. Yeah, 0:20:58.960 --> 0:21:02.520 I know, hormone crazy. They are crazy. I learned a 0:21:02.520 --> 0:21:07.040 lot about hormones over this process. Well, we had do 0:21:07.119 --> 0:21:10.960 you know Andrew Huberman the Huberman Lab podcast. I've heard 0:21:11.000 --> 0:21:14.240 of it. It's a great podcast. Um. We had Andrew 0:21:14.400 --> 0:21:19.480 on Armchair and then we had him on Race as well, Um, 0:21:19.520 --> 0:21:22.280 to talk about hormones and name by the way, Yeah, 0:21:22.400 --> 0:21:25.760 well Race against the Clock you know, hey, it's playing 0:21:25.800 --> 0:21:28.920 on what we go through exactly. But yeah, he said, 0:21:29.359 --> 0:21:31.200 when a male and a female have a baby together, 0:21:32.520 --> 0:21:39.920 the man's testosterone actually drops. Isn't that crazy? And I 0:21:39.960 --> 0:21:42.879 think it's because like, well, I mean there's lots of 0:21:42.920 --> 0:21:47.480 there's lots of there's lots of theories, but like a 0:21:47.480 --> 0:21:49.439 lot of you know, when people say like the dad bod, 0:21:50.480 --> 0:21:53.359 a lot of that can come from a drop in testosterone. 0:21:54.240 --> 0:21:57.119 Mm hmmm. It's interesting. There's a lot there's a lot 0:21:57.240 --> 0:22:00.920 of little baby facts like that. No hormones of everything 0:22:01.080 --> 0:22:03.720 much everything, and it's just something that we have to 0:22:03.760 --> 0:22:05.440 deal with on a day to day. And then when 0:22:05.480 --> 0:22:11.560 you're putting external hormones literally you're putting so many hormones 0:22:11.600 --> 0:22:15.280 in your body in order to like make your eggs 0:22:15.400 --> 0:22:18.919 grow times a good, like you want them huge, like 0:22:19.040 --> 0:22:22.880 so much more than they How are your emotions? They 0:22:22.920 --> 0:22:29.719 were surprisingly fine? Okay, that's so good. I was shocked 0:22:29.880 --> 0:22:34.080 because I am so sensitive to hormonal change, like I 0:22:34.200 --> 0:22:37.280 have pretty bad pian mass, like I feel it. I 0:22:37.320 --> 0:22:41.800 feel hormonal change in extreme, very in tune with your body. Yes, 0:22:42.640 --> 0:22:46.199 and um, so I was really like this is gone up, 0:22:46.680 --> 0:22:50.840 this is gonna up. For yes, I was like, this 0:22:50.880 --> 0:22:54.160 is going to be horrible, and then I actually was okay. 0:22:54.359 --> 0:22:58.199 Liz had a little bit tougher over time. And again, 0:22:58.520 --> 0:23:01.359 I'm about to start editing that shows, so I don't 0:23:01.359 --> 0:23:03.720 really know until I'm in there, I don't know. I 0:23:03.800 --> 0:23:07.320 might be crazy. And I just in the moment didn't 0:23:07.400 --> 0:23:11.080 realize what a beautiful journal to look back on. I'm scared. 0:23:11.680 --> 0:23:14.600 So you've been doing multiple podcasts, would you say podcasting 0:23:14.600 --> 0:23:18.040 into your favorite type of media of storytelling as like 0:23:18.200 --> 0:23:23.600 on the outside or to to create, to create yeah, yeah, okay, 0:23:23.720 --> 0:23:26.399 I love it. I love it. It's so awesome. It 0:23:26.600 --> 0:23:29.760 is so awesome. I feel like it's so intimate in 0:23:29.800 --> 0:23:34.480