Speaker 1: M Hey guys, it's Sammy Jay and welcome back to
Speaker 1: my podcast Let's Be Real. And today I am so
Speaker 1: thrilled because this week I got to chat with podcaster, actor, producer,
Speaker 1: and editor Monica Padmin. I love this episode. We get
Speaker 1: into some very interesting topics that we haven't explored yet
Speaker 1: on this podcast, so I'm excited for you to check
Speaker 1: it out. Enjoying. Hi Montica, and welcome to the Let's
Speaker 1: Burial Podcast. Hi, thank you for having me. I am
Speaker 1: so honored to have you. You are one of my
Speaker 1: favorite podcasters and I genuinely look up to you so
Speaker 1: much because your drive and just the way you're just
Speaker 1: a go getter and it's really inspiring. Thank you, Thank you.
Speaker 1: That's um, that's such a nice compliment. And I think one,
Speaker 1: um that I can take amazing as you should, take
Speaker 1: it as you should. So something that I want to
Speaker 1: talk about is when did you first think, Okay, I
Speaker 1: want to be in the entertainment industry in some way,
Speaker 1: shape or form. I'm not sure what, but I want
Speaker 1: to be in it. Well when I was. And I
Speaker 1: sound like a broken record because I've talked about this lot,
Speaker 1: but this is the truth. Um, Let's be real man. Yeah, exactly, exactly. Um.
Speaker 1: When I was in eighth grade, I saw Good while
Speaker 1: hunting for the first time. And then I also at
Speaker 1: the same time was getting super into Friends, the TV
Speaker 1: show Who Hasn't Had? If you haven't gotten super into Friends,
Speaker 1: You've missed out on life, You've missed out on serotonin. Honestly,
Speaker 1: you really have. And I'd encourage you to get into it.
Speaker 1: It's a mental health fix, it really is. Um. But yes,
Speaker 1: So I was super into those things, and they like
Speaker 1: transported me. I was living in fantasy land all the
Speaker 1: time after seeing that, of like, I want to be
Speaker 1: in something like either of those things, Like I want
Speaker 1: to be a part of what they're doing, which is
Speaker 1: making other people feel like I feel. Um, And so
Speaker 1: I just assumed that was acting because it's just the
Speaker 1: first one, Like they're on the screen. Yeah, what else
Speaker 1: is there. I didn't know anything about producers or directing
Speaker 1: or anything. I just was like, Okay, I want so
Speaker 1: I want to do that. So I want to be
Speaker 1: an actor. And then in ninth grade I joined theater.
Speaker 1: I did theater and I was like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: this is right, this is the right fell that home. Yes,
Speaker 1: I loved it. I mean I was terrified, but I
Speaker 1: loved it. And it's so rare, like I'm scared of
Speaker 1: everything basically too. And but it's I'm an anxious girly
Speaker 1: yes exactly. I'm just like filled with butterflies absolutely all
Speaker 1: the time, all the time. But it was it was
Speaker 1: a weird thing to experience that anxiety but then have
Speaker 1: it to be positive. That's how I feel with the podcast.
Speaker 1: I know exactly what you're talking about. Like it's you're scared,
Speaker 1: and then you come out on the other end you're like,
Speaker 1: I'm better I'm better off for it, and I get
Speaker 1: your creative energy. I just I did love it. So
Speaker 1: it's like, Okay, well that's done, I'm doing that now
Speaker 1: we know um. And so yeah, that was the first.
Speaker 1: That was sort of the first iterational. So theater, what
Speaker 1: was your favorite musical you put on or play? I
Speaker 1: have to ask. I'm from a musical theater family too.
Speaker 1: You are, well, you're gonna be mad at me then,
Speaker 1: because I don't like musical I don't like musicals. I
Speaker 1: like straight plays. And in high school, the best thing
Speaker 1: we did and this was so informative for me as
Speaker 1: a person. It was incredible. My senior year, our theater
Speaker 1: class we wrote a play as a whole class, and
Speaker 1: they were like these little vignettes, so sketches we wrote
Speaker 1: basically sketches. We were paired and we like had these
Speaker 1: different groups for these different sketches and we wrote them.
Speaker 1: And then we put on this play and it was
Speaker 1: about high school and it was like sort you know,
Speaker 1: nods to our own high school and it was life changing.
Speaker 1: It was so fun and it was so cathartic, and
Speaker 1: it was um it sold, you know, no one came
Speaker 1: to plays like at my school. It was like you
Speaker 1: know football. It was in the South. It was like
Speaker 1: plays never sold out where the musical theater kids were at.
Speaker 1: So it was but it was three nights we um
Speaker 1: put on that play and it sold out every night
Speaker 1: and it was like a big deal and it was
Speaker 1: a big deal. It's like have you seen the play?
Speaker 1: And it was so cool to be a part of
Speaker 1: that and the fact that we had written it like
Speaker 1: your baby, it added a new layer of of ownership
Speaker 1: that obviously in high school you never ever ever get.
Speaker 1: I'm so grateful to my theater teacher. Her name was
Speaker 1: Miss Vetter. Shout out the net better and um, she
Speaker 1: was like, who would have thought to put a bunch
Speaker 1: of high schoolers in charge of writing a play? And
Speaker 1: she did and it was unbelievable. So from that experience,
Speaker 1: was it the writing part or the collaboration of collaborating
Speaker 1: with people around you? Because I've noticed I love collaboration.
Speaker 1: It is there's nothing like it. There is nothing like it.
Speaker 1: And I think when I was watching like Friends and
Speaker 1: like in retrospect, watching Friends and watching good Will Hunting,
Speaker 1: it was honestly that that I was drawn to more
Speaker 1: than acting. I think I didn't know that, but now
Speaker 1: seeing it from a bird's eye view, I can see
Speaker 1: like like the Ben and Matt writing it, like that
Speaker 1: whole story, and then the ensemble of friends, like that's
Speaker 1: what I was drawn to. Is this like camaraderie within creativity?
Speaker 1: I think? And so in yes, the collaboration piece, the
Speaker 1: writing piece too. I mean I love writing, I always have,
Speaker 1: but that felt so different, like words like dialogue, felt
Speaker 1: so different than what I've been used to writing, and
Speaker 1: it was just so fun, it was so eye opening.
Speaker 1: I love experiences like that because they truly shape so much.
Speaker 1: I think one of my favorite parts. And maybe It's
Speaker 1: why I love like Parks and Wreck in the Office
Speaker 1: and shows like that, is that there's always like through
Speaker 1: elements that kind of overlay throughout that you'll pick up on.
Speaker 1: You're like, oh, every time you watch you pick up
Speaker 1: on something different. Yes, yes, I agree. So I want
Speaker 1: to talk about armchair experts. Okay, so you came up
Speaker 1: the format. You're the one that ish ish I can't
Speaker 1: take all you know obviously obviously you can't take all
Speaker 1: the credits, but I think, I think, But it's also
Speaker 1: it just has so much of you in it, thank
Speaker 1: and that's what's so special about it. And I was
Speaker 1: wondering when you came up with when you're creating these podcasts,
Speaker 1: what's the most unexpected lesson you've learned about yourself that
Speaker 1: you didn't expect to going into it. That's a great question.
Speaker 1: I think for me, the biggest that I've learned from
Speaker 1: all of them, all the months we've done um, including
Speaker 1: in majorly one that's about to come out on Fertility
Speaker 1: about yes, is I am like, no holds bar, I'm
Speaker 1: just like I am fine to just kind of spill
Speaker 1: every single thing I'm thinking and feeling and going through.
Speaker 1: I would not have expected that going in, and even
Speaker 1: at the very beginning, I was hesitant and I talked
Speaker 1: to DX about it. I was like, I don't know,
Speaker 1: like this feels very vulnerable, and He's like, yeah, I
Speaker 1: mean you don't have to, but it's going to be
Speaker 1: better off for it, and not like not like oh,
Speaker 1: it'll be a good show if you're like crying, but
Speaker 1: just like authenticity is always what reads, it's the best. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So I was like, all right, it's like my might
Speaker 1: as well. Is it weird when people like know things
Speaker 1: about you and they come up to you and you're like, wait,
Speaker 1: how do you know that very particular random fact about me?
Speaker 1: It's like did I share that? Yes. It's happened a
Speaker 1: couple of times where I'm like, oh, yeah, I talked
Speaker 1: about that and now and now people know. Um. But
Speaker 1: it's were the times where I've been like, oh, I
Speaker 1: need to be a little careful is when I talk
Speaker 1: about other people. Not badly, of course, but like when
Speaker 1: I'm talking about people in my life and I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: I was at this this with this person and then
Speaker 1: they said this, I don't think about that, and I
Speaker 1: made it any conversation though, you know, yeah, but I
Speaker 1: tell you know, we tell stories about our lives and
Speaker 1: our friends, and sometimes I'm like, Wow, they're a little
Speaker 1: more private than me, So I need to be a
Speaker 1: little bit more careful. I've been trying to immerse myself
Speaker 1: in creativity as much as possible, because I've noticed that
Speaker 1: that's when I'm just feeling most myself. I love that.
Speaker 1: But burnout is real, and that is something that I
Speaker 1: was wondering if you've ever experienced and if you have
Speaker 1: any advice song, because I know a lot of people
Speaker 1: that I can overwork themselves, and I feel like hustle
Speaker 1: and grind culture is so emphasized right now and glorified
Speaker 1: and it's not good to not take care of your
Speaker 1: mental health and your social beings. I was wondering if
Speaker 1: that's something that you've gone through a hundred I mean,
Speaker 1: I don't know if I have advice, I need advice,
Speaker 1: I don't. UM. My advice would be to make sure
Speaker 1: because like in this job, in my job, um, I
Speaker 1: could be working all the time. I could be because
Speaker 1: I also edit our show, so and we have lots
Speaker 1: of shows, and so at any moment, I could be
Speaker 1: sitting down and working on one of those things. So
Speaker 1: my advice that I've tried to implement and done well
Speaker 1: is like I am going out to dinner with my
Speaker 1: friend on Tuesday. I am going to go get a
Speaker 1: drink with Jess on Monday. Like I plan in time,
Speaker 1: recreational time, because if I don't, then I'll I'll work.
Speaker 1: Like so your podcast, you have to live life to
Speaker 1: be able to talk about it. Very true, very true.
Speaker 1: But you have to like tell yourself, I I it's
Speaker 1: okay to say yes to um things that feel quote
Speaker 1: fun or extra, even though you have work to do.
Speaker 1: It's really important for balance, even if it means I
Speaker 1: mean for me, even if it means like okay, I
Speaker 1: am going to say yes to this dinner date and
Speaker 1: then maybe it means I go home and I'm up
Speaker 1: late working, but it's still important to put that other
Speaker 1: piece in exact for me. No, I it's it's something
Speaker 1: that I find that's hard to prioritize. But I notice
Speaker 1: what I don't the negative effects of it. Yes, it's
Speaker 1: I mean, it is real when you're fully immersed in
Speaker 1: work and work only it is it's too much like
Speaker 1: I don't know, I don't know. We're built to be
Speaker 1: that way. No, especially when you don't work at nine
Speaker 1: to five and there's no hard cut off. You have
Speaker 1: to create those boundaries yourself, and if you've a lot
Speaker 1: to get done and it gets so blurred. Yes, I
Speaker 1: literally that's funny that you brought it up. Yesterday or Sunday.
Speaker 1: I like wrote out a calendar for the week because
Speaker 1: I was like, that's what I do. I have to
Speaker 1: write everything, yes, but I normally don't. I'm like, okay,
Speaker 1: you know, I can figure it out. But I thought,
Speaker 1: I really need to write out a schedule for the
Speaker 1: week so I don't get super Otherwise I was just
Speaker 1: like so overwhelmed. This week is going to be crazy
Speaker 1: by the time. Yes, it helped, like it helped put
Speaker 1: some structure to it and not feel like it's just
Speaker 1: just like wait over you. Yeah, I've noticed. For me,
Speaker 1: I feel so I'm going to forget something unless I
Speaker 1: write it down. I have to like writing down my
Speaker 1: to do list are the most calming part of my day,
Speaker 1: and then checking them off is the most satisfying part.
Speaker 1: It just hits different. It's really special. It's really something
Speaker 1: about editing. What about it? Do you like it? Piecing together?
Speaker 1: The story is it kind of replaying it back because
Speaker 1: I know you can learn so much just from editing.
Speaker 1: I've learned so much about people in general, a lot
Speaker 1: about myself. Um yeah, because you can hear it objectively,
Speaker 1: and you don't normally in life get to hear yourself objectively,
Speaker 1: So it's kind of a privileged point of view. I
Speaker 1: do like that, um. I like and I will shout
Speaker 1: out my friend Emma, who also we've we've brought on
Speaker 1: recently and she also helps with editing. So she goes
Speaker 1: through first, and then I go through and I edit
Speaker 1: for content. So she goes in now and she takes
Speaker 1: out the ums and the likes, and you know, she
Speaker 1: has some instructions on what to do, and then I
Speaker 1: go in and I decide, like what stays, what goes.
Speaker 1: I really like having a say in the end product
Speaker 1: because it's a whole process. You know, we record and
Speaker 1: then it's booking the guests. It's like, exactly, people don't
Speaker 1: realize on the back end of it, Like it's so
Speaker 1: time consuming and it's more than just the episode, so
Speaker 1: much more. Yeah, you're right, it starts way before that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's the it's the reach out, and then it's the
Speaker 1: long time before we may schedule, reschedule this. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: so by the time we get the edit, it feels
Speaker 1: complete and I like and I like that, and I like,
Speaker 1: I mean, really, it's my fingerprint, you know. I'm deciding
Speaker 1: what says, what goes, How provocative do we want to be?
Speaker 1: How provocative do we not want to be? I get
Speaker 1: to make those decisions, and so it's feels rewarding. I
Speaker 1: think I do think editing feeling and because it's just
Speaker 1: so tedious. It is so tedious that when you complete it,
Speaker 1: you do feel like you've really accomplished something. Oh it
Speaker 1: feels like you just ran a marathon in a weird way.
Speaker 1: You're like, yes, for your brain, for your brain. Absolutely,
Speaker 1: that's what it's like. Yeah, Okay, we have to take
Speaker 1: one quick break. But when we come back, I wanted
Speaker 1: to Ivan and talk about your new podcast, Race the
Speaker 1: thirty five, which I am so fascinated by. Also what
Speaker 1: it's like working with Kristen and Dax and so much more.
Speaker 1: We'll be right back and we're back. I'm very excited
Speaker 1: to talk to you about this new podcast coming because
Speaker 1: um so I have a new Betrios. You do, Okay,
Speaker 1: you do, and I was told that seventeen to freeze
Speaker 1: my eggs. I did not because another doctor told me
Speaker 1: not to. But I understand the fact that this is
Speaker 1: a conversation that has been brought up so early in
Speaker 1: my life that I've had to deal with. I truly
Speaker 1: am like so excited to get into this conversation with
Speaker 1: you because it's so not discussed enough at all. I
Speaker 1: mean it is in some ways, but I found that
Speaker 1: it's normally spoken about so clinically, and that's really why
Speaker 1: I wanted to do this. So, yes, we have the
Speaker 1: a show. It's called Race to thirty five. Um, it's
Speaker 1: under our armchair umbrella and the network work of the network.
Speaker 1: Yeah that is, that is what it is. We just
Speaker 1: call it an umbrella. Uh but yeah. So it's me
Speaker 1: and Liz Plank. We co host and she's the best,
Speaker 1: and we got to know each other really well, really quick.
Speaker 1: You gotta if this is the topic. It was crazy.
Speaker 1: It was crazy. We just got like jumped in the
Speaker 1: deep end and did this together. We froze her exit
Speaker 1: at the same time, and we followed that whole process
Speaker 1: and so each episode, at the top of each episode
Speaker 1: is us talking about how we're feeling talking about, you know,
Speaker 1: the new thoughts and feelings. We've had the shots from
Speaker 1: the night before, which we did together every night, and
Speaker 1: and then the rest of the episode is us talking
Speaker 1: to someone with an interesting fertility story or an expert
Speaker 1: in the field, and it's I'm I I'm really proud
Speaker 1: of It is so intimate, obviously, like it's our bodies.
Speaker 1: It's no one. You know, you're not supposed to compare
Speaker 1: or worry about the result. But at the end of
Speaker 1: the day, there's a result. You get a number of eggs,
Speaker 1: and so there's also this kind of pressure. There is
Speaker 1: so much pressure that I already feel and I'm twenty yeah,
Speaker 1: and it's crazy that you're ticking time like you gotta go,
Speaker 1: and it's like, no, yes, yes, I know, I know,
Speaker 1: you you deaf, you have time. Don't worry. There's so
Speaker 1: many different women's issues that also coincide with it, like
Speaker 1: it's all intertwined, oh for sure. And the thing is
Speaker 1: that's funny is we walk around and we don't necessarily
Speaker 1: know these things about our bodies unless there's a reason
Speaker 1: to know. If there's a problem or you're in pain
Speaker 1: or something, and you go seek out professional normally, like
Speaker 1: at the very beginning of this process, what you do
Speaker 1: is you go in, they give you a transmaginal ultrasound
Speaker 1: and they look to see how many follicles you have.
Speaker 1: It is so cool, It is so cool. It's magic.
Speaker 1: I mean the fact that they can see inside you
Speaker 1: and know how many follicles you have that will maybe
Speaker 1: or maybe not trying to like mature intoath. I know,
Speaker 1: it's fascinating, but you know that early first um and
Speaker 1: that's kind of the maximount you'll have. And and it's
Speaker 1: funny because you get that number and you start, you know,
Speaker 1: in an our case, spiraling or thinking about that or
Speaker 1: what does it mean? And is it scary? Is it not?
Speaker 1: And it's funny because I was like, well, if I
Speaker 1: hadn't frozen my eggs, I wouldn't. I would never know
Speaker 1: that number, would never know that number, even though it exists.
Speaker 1: It's so crazy. I would never know. And even if
Speaker 1: if I got pregnant, like a lot of my friends
Speaker 1: who have gotten pregnant naturally, they don't know how many
Speaker 1: follicles they have. They just got pregnant. It's very interesting
Speaker 1: to do it this way where you you know so
Speaker 1: much maybe too much. Yeah, do you think you know
Speaker 1: you knew too much information going into it? As a
Speaker 1: fellow of anxious girly? Like, how does that affect the
Speaker 1: connection between the two, because I don't know of how
Speaker 1: I would do well knowing all of that? Well, is
Speaker 1: there a sense of relief also having that information? I
Speaker 1: think it depending on your personal situation, it can be. Um,
Speaker 1: I think, I mean, if you're deciding to freeze your eggs,
Speaker 1: you have to know that information. It's part of it.
Speaker 1: I mean, it's part of the whole deal. So I
Speaker 1: get you know, It's not like, oh I wish I
Speaker 1: didn't know, because that's like the point. The point is
Speaker 1: to know how many you have for your insurance? But
Speaker 1: do I wish I had not done it so that
Speaker 1: I never knew? No, I'm glad, I'm I'm glad I
Speaker 1: went through that process. What have you learned most about yourself?
Speaker 1: I think, I mean, this is like such a bold
Speaker 1: statement before, but now I'm I'm wishy washing on it.
Speaker 1: During it, I will say, during it, I was like,
Speaker 1: I definitely want to have kids, and which I did
Speaker 1: not know before. I didn't I didn't feel like I'm
Speaker 1: one of those people who has to have kids. You know,
Speaker 1: some women are like four and they're like, I'm a mom, yes,
Speaker 1: and they just know if they have like really strong
Speaker 1: maternal instincts from early on, they know. I mean, I
Speaker 1: think some of that is societal, like a lot of it.
Speaker 1: But also I do I know these people, like I
Speaker 1: do sense that some people are like, yeah, I'm I'm
Speaker 1: meant to be a mom, And I never had that. Um. Also,
Speaker 1: I mean, I have an and credible mother. She's so
Speaker 1: good and so like, she's perfect, perfect for me. But
Speaker 1: she wasn't like the most maternal mom, and so I
Speaker 1: didn't also have that modeled. So I never was like
Speaker 1: this is what I like, tiny baby in my arms
Speaker 1: or whatever. Like she wasn't like looking at babies nearby
Speaker 1: in the grocery store and like oh, like she didn't
Speaker 1: do that, and so either do I. I don't do
Speaker 1: that either. Um So I didn't know. I've always been
Speaker 1: on the fence, but during the process was like, no
Speaker 1: I do. Now that I'm out of it, I'm bad.
Speaker 1: Like I don't know. It's hard to know when you're
Speaker 1: on so many hormones. What's real? Tell me about it?
Speaker 1: I had had got a birth control, or went on
Speaker 1: birth control and it gave me cystic acne. That's really
Speaker 1: funny that you say that, because I had really bad
Speaker 1: cystic acne. The only thing that worked was birth control.
Speaker 1: It's so interesting how it affects everyone so differently. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I know, hormone crazy. They are crazy. I learned a
Speaker 1: lot about hormones over this process. Well, we had do
Speaker 1: you know Andrew Huberman the Huberman Lab podcast. I've heard
Speaker 1: of it. It's a great podcast. Um. We had Andrew
Speaker 1: on Armchair and then we had him on Race as well, Um,
Speaker 1: to talk about hormones and name by the way, Yeah,
Speaker 1: well Race against the Clock you know, hey, it's playing
Speaker 1: on what we go through exactly. But yeah, he said,
Speaker 1: when a male and a female have a baby together,
Speaker 1: the man's testosterone actually drops. Isn't that crazy? And I
Speaker 1: think it's because like, well, I mean there's lots of
Speaker 1: there's lots of there's lots of theories, but like a
Speaker 1: lot of you know, when people say like the dad bod,
Speaker 1: a lot of that can come from a drop in testosterone.
Speaker 1: Mm hmmm. It's interesting. There's a lot there's a lot
Speaker 1: of little baby facts like that. No hormones of everything
Speaker 1: much everything, and it's just something that we have to
Speaker 1: deal with on a day to day. And then when
Speaker 1: you're putting external hormones literally you're putting so many hormones
Speaker 1: in your body in order to like make your eggs
Speaker 1: grow times a good, like you want them huge, like
Speaker 1: so much more than they How are your emotions? They
Speaker 1: were surprisingly fine? Okay, that's so good. I was shocked
Speaker 1: because I am so sensitive to hormonal change, like I
Speaker 1: have pretty bad pian mass, like I feel it. I
Speaker 1: feel hormonal change in extreme, very in tune with your body. Yes,
Speaker 1: and um, so I was really like this is gone up,
Speaker 1: this is gonna up. For yes, I was like, this
Speaker 1: is going to be horrible, and then I actually was okay.
Speaker 1: Liz had a little bit tougher over time. And again,
Speaker 1: I'm about to start editing that shows, so I don't
Speaker 1: really know until I'm in there, I don't know. I
Speaker 1: might be crazy. And I just in the moment didn't
Speaker 1: realize what a beautiful journal to look back on. I'm scared.
Speaker 1: So you've been doing multiple podcasts, would you say podcasting
Speaker 1: into your favorite type of media of storytelling as like
Speaker 1: on the outside or to to create, to create yeah, yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: I love it. I love it. It's so awesome. It
Speaker 1: is so awesome. I feel like it's so intimate in
Speaker 1: a way that lots of other mediums can't be. UM,
Speaker 1: and you just get to tell tiny stories, like really
Speaker 1: teeny tiny stories, and um, those to me are weirdly
Speaker 1: the most universal ones. Do you have a favorite podcast
Speaker 1: story you've told so far? Mm hmm. They're like, oh,
Speaker 1: I got a great reaction, or it's just like, oh,
Speaker 1: this is a good story. I know, that's a great question.
Speaker 1: I mean, this isn't like a great reaction. But when
Speaker 1: when so Dax had a relapse and we did an
Speaker 1: episode on that, and that was, um, I think a
Speaker 1: really important episode for us, and that was a really
Speaker 1: important piece of his story that we had to tell,
Speaker 1: and we did. We felt like obligated to tell our
Speaker 1: listeners because we are very honest and it would be
Speaker 1: so weird, like to to not talk about this kind
Speaker 1: of very big thing going on and all of our
Speaker 1: lives at that time, and we have a lot of
Speaker 1: people who are listening who are sober, who are trying
Speaker 1: to get sober, who are in recovery, and it felt
Speaker 1: like it's such a disservice to them to not share
Speaker 1: this part, like it's an important part. It is a
Speaker 1: part of recovery. So it's it's the reality of it, Yes, exactly.
Speaker 1: And um, so that I think is like the most
Speaker 1: important story we have told on the show is that
Speaker 1: very honest reality. Um. And then and then people got
Speaker 1: to see like a rebound from from that, and it
Speaker 1: was I think, I hope helpful if you have the
Speaker 1: most memorable podcast guest you guys have had on that's
Speaker 1: you've had so many incredible we have I mean for me,
Speaker 1: Matt Damon, I mean, yeah, it was, it was an
Speaker 1: actual dream. It was crazy. I mean I used to
Speaker 1: like imagine that they would be it would be camping
Speaker 1: in Georgia and I'd be like, maybe they're in the tent.
Speaker 1: Like I really thought that. I was nuts. You manifested
Speaker 1: that moment, I mean ten years or fifteen years later.
Speaker 1: But yes, do you have any other manifestations you want
Speaker 1: to put out there? And I do. I do a
Speaker 1: lot of fantasizing. So I'm sitting here my day spent
Speaker 1: in daydreaming. Yes, but you gotta shoot high, you do.
Speaker 1: That's something I've realized a lot of people if I
Speaker 1: listened to every person that told me that I couldn't
Speaker 1: do what I've done, yeah, I wouldn't be doing any
Speaker 1: of this. We wouldn't be having this conversation. We definitely wouldn't.
Speaker 1: I totally agree. Like, it's funny because I think in general,
Speaker 1: I'm a fairly practical person. I grew up in a
Speaker 1: really practical household. But I have this really pie in
Speaker 1: the sky um dream or re piece of me that
Speaker 1: I'm grateful for, or yes, I would not be here. Yeah,
Speaker 1: because I feel like, also if you, if we like
Speaker 1: listen to everyone that says the probability of that happening
Speaker 1: is so low, you shouldn't do it. It's like, no, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm still going to do it because it's for the
Speaker 1: experience exactly. It's not about results, That's the thing. This
Speaker 1: process something that I've realized that so many people, at
Speaker 1: least people that I have no specifically creative A lot
Speaker 1: of times they focus on the end product. They want
Speaker 1: this to be what what success means? You know a
Speaker 1: lot of the times it's commercial success, it's getting something in.
Speaker 1: But I feel like the process the best part of
Speaker 1: No one even appreciates it. It is and even with
Speaker 1: this podcast with Brace to thirty five, I'm like, I said,
Speaker 1: I'm about to start editing it and I I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't want to because that is that's about result,
Speaker 1: and I already did the process and that it's going
Speaker 1: back to it. Yeah, and I like the process was
Speaker 1: so interesting and illuminating and now I'm like, oh, now
Speaker 1: I'm going into the like result phase of it, and
Speaker 1: it doesn't feel as fun fulfilling any of it. Like
Speaker 1: the process was the big win. Exactly. It's the journey
Speaker 1: that you remember. It's not necessarily what people view of
Speaker 1: it because at the end of the day, especially with podcasts,
Speaker 1: and you put it out there, it's up to other
Speaker 1: people's interpretation. Like this is a fun part, yes, exactly.
Speaker 1: We have to take one more quick break, but when
Speaker 1: we come back, I want to talk about the idea
Speaker 1: of mentorship more and working with Kristen and Dax and
Speaker 1: what that's meant for you and your career. Will be
Speaker 1: right back. Okay, and we're back. Something else I want
Speaker 1: to talk to you is about mentorship because I think
Speaker 1: it's a really interesting topic that isn't talked about a lot,
Speaker 1: but it is so helpful and got getting guidance from
Speaker 1: someone that has been there before and truly wants to
Speaker 1: support you. And I know you found that a lot
Speaker 1: within Kristin and Dax and having that mentorship. What has
Speaker 1: it been like being able to ask them for advice
Speaker 1: but also being able to like, what have you learned?
Speaker 1: What's been something you've soaked up that's kind of you've
Speaker 1: been grained into you. Yeah, a lot from Kristen for sure,
Speaker 1: because so much of that I think happened when I
Speaker 1: was her assistant and then when I started doing projects
Speaker 1: with her. She just handles herself in a way that
Speaker 1: is very commendable and respectable. Like always, you know, she
Speaker 1: does such a good job of looking out for people
Speaker 1: under her and pulling them up. I think it's hard
Speaker 1: to do because they're they're doing their job, they're in
Speaker 1: a position that's helpful to you, like look me. I
Speaker 1: mean I I worked for her, and she didn't have
Speaker 1: to say, you know, it's okay for you to go
Speaker 1: do this other thing, or it's okay for you to
Speaker 1: expand your wings because that could be a threat to her.
Speaker 1: There's so much competition un officially not real competition, but
Speaker 1: I think it's what society puts on us like women
Speaker 1: need to not stick together and compete, But if anything,
Speaker 1: it's we should be doing the opposite because there's more
Speaker 1: than enough room for everybody. Totally and absolutely. But I
Speaker 1: don't even mean that per se, I mean more even
Speaker 1: just practically, like, well, if this person goes and gets
Speaker 1: this other job or goes and works on the podcast
Speaker 1: and the podcast becomes big, will she have time? Ye? Me?
Speaker 1: I mean, And that's the area is No, I didn't.
Speaker 1: I had to leave that, and she knew that and
Speaker 1: still put my needs above hers In that moment she
Speaker 1: was like, well, Monica's career and future is more important
Speaker 1: than her assisting me. Um, and that is hard to do.
Speaker 1: That's really hard, really hard to put someone else's needs
Speaker 1: above yours. And she does that a lot in life
Speaker 1: in general and friendships and everything. So um, I do
Speaker 1: try to think about that when I am just living
Speaker 1: my life of that person is their own person and
Speaker 1: not just there to help, not just there for me.
Speaker 1: So I think that's that has been something that's really stuck.
Speaker 1: I mean also just kindness. I mean, she's so nice
Speaker 1: to everyone, she always is, and I think that has
Speaker 1: has stuck, just like being being nice hard. It's it's fine,
Speaker 1: just be nice, just choose that. You can choose that today. Um.
Speaker 1: And then with Dax, definitely honest, I mean honesty piece
Speaker 1: is never going anywhere, and it is I think new
Speaker 1: Like I think it's from having met him. It's I
Speaker 1: have never met anyone like that before who's just like
Speaker 1: so blatantly honest and open and um but also like
Speaker 1: open with his apologies and open like he's just he's
Speaker 1: just very himself. And I think that has been grained.
Speaker 1: And also I think a big thing that has changed
Speaker 1: as I used to see things a lot more black
Speaker 1: and white, and having him in my life has really
Speaker 1: changed that. I mean, he's only see's gray. He doesn't
Speaker 1: see any black and white ever, And sometimes I'm like, no, there,
Speaker 1: sometimes it is black and white. I have to like
Speaker 1: try to pull them back a little bit towards that.
Speaker 1: But he's only seeing that. He has a lot of
Speaker 1: compassion for people who maybe other people don't have compassion
Speaker 1: for and that's really bled in Like I always am
Speaker 1: looking for the flip side of the coin and that
Speaker 1: that's all him. But I think that's one of the
Speaker 1: reasons why it's it just works so well. Is because
Speaker 1: there's that it's kind of like the opposites attracted way,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, and you get the balance
Speaker 1: of both which is needed, you know, to balance each
Speaker 1: other out, to push you out of your comfort zone
Speaker 1: and to maybe reel and back in. Like I've been
Speaker 1: trying to live more in the gray. So I understand
Speaker 1: what you're talking about. It is hard, but you know
Speaker 1: what twenties a new decade is, what I say, is
Speaker 1: for putting ourselves out there, for being the gray area.
Speaker 1: You're so advanced for twenty I mean when I was twenty, yeah,
Speaker 1: I was definitely not thinking about the gray How would
Speaker 1: you say doing this throughout this entire process, it's just
Speaker 1: increased your empathy a bit, I think. So, I really
Speaker 1: think so. And Kristen is also incredibly empathetic, So I
Speaker 1: think just like full immersion in empathy for the past
Speaker 1: eight years or so has has definitely had an impact
Speaker 1: eight years, I think. So that's crazy. I think. So,
Speaker 1: what would you tell your younger self? You could give
Speaker 1: towenty year old Monica a little piece of advice about
Speaker 1: knowing all you that you know now? I think I
Speaker 1: would be circling back to what we talked about just
Speaker 1: enjoy the ride because you never know where it's going
Speaker 1: to go. And I mean, I think actually, to be
Speaker 1: fair to myself, I think I did a pretty good
Speaker 1: job of that. Like I was really aware even when
Speaker 1: I was like working at soul Cycle and and also
Speaker 1: writing for Smash and doing I had so many jobs
Speaker 1: going on at once, but I knew that that was
Speaker 1: still just a piece of my life that I had
Speaker 1: to round out the rest of it. That like I
Speaker 1: still needed to have fun and I needed to have
Speaker 1: dinner parties, like you know, maybe it was just have
Speaker 1: fun with my roommate. It was important to me that
Speaker 1: the rest, even if this piece wasn't fully checked off,
Speaker 1: that the rest was. I feel like you've done so
Speaker 1: much and you've learned so many different halfs. You have
Speaker 1: such an interesting perspective, and that you you know you've
Speaker 1: done it from a bunch of different angles. Is there
Speaker 1: is there aside? There is there a new aspect you
Speaker 1: want to endeavor on that you haven't got upon yet. Um, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't think I know what they are yet, but
Speaker 1: love that. But I'm open, Like I'm just open to
Speaker 1: doing new stuff or new um. Directing buckets actually that's
Speaker 1: kind of the one thing I'm pretty sure I don't
Speaker 1: want it to really, Yeah, I say that, and then
Speaker 1: and then she's directing who We're just we'll play this
Speaker 1: clip back exactly. Uh No, I mean I guess that. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I can't rule it out. I won't rule anything out,
Speaker 1: but I it's never ever been something that I've been
Speaker 1: super drawn to. Um. I did like co direct this
Speaker 1: commercial for Hello Bello, Dax and Christens Diaper Company, and
Speaker 1: it was fun, but it's it's not it's not for me.
Speaker 1: But you know what, knowing what you don't want to
Speaker 1: do is just as important as knowing what you do
Speaker 1: want to do. I think it's more important. I think
Speaker 1: that's actually how you figure out what you want to do.
Speaker 1: And I think not getting stuck in the idea, like
Speaker 1: because you you know, you might start broadcast journalism and
Speaker 1: like this is what I'm doing. I'm doing this, this
Speaker 1: is what I want to do, and then you'd start
Speaker 1: taking classes and you start doing and you're like, oh,
Speaker 1: like I don't tell that that's exactly what's happened. Really, yeah,
Speaker 1: but you have other stuff too, at least, so you
Speaker 1: know I'm not stuck. I like to have options. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but everyone has options, but they don't know that that
Speaker 1: they think like, oh, now I'm pot committed, like I'm
Speaker 1: I'm I'm taking these classes and I guess this is
Speaker 1: the rest of my life. I don't like it, but
Speaker 1: oh well, and you don't have to say, oh hell yeah,
Speaker 1: there's always time for a pivot. I had a class
Speaker 1: where literally every the theme was just hearing about people's
Speaker 1: pivots and career essentially and how it changed and that
Speaker 1: how what they thought they wanted to do, how it evolves,
Speaker 1: and we need to like appreciate that instead of thinking
Speaker 1: of change is a bad thing because I'm very I
Speaker 1: don't do change very well. Yeah. Same, So it's very
Speaker 1: hard for me. So I've been trying to embrace it,
Speaker 1: which has been interesting. But we're going for it. Has
Speaker 1: it has any positive come out of it? Yeah, I
Speaker 1: will say I've lived more life, and I'd say I've
Speaker 1: grown more in the past two months than I have
Speaker 1: in a long time, and I love it. Yeah. No,
Speaker 1: change is always hard, even when it's good. Yeah. Growing
Speaker 1: pains are so real. Yeah they are. They are real.
Speaker 1: But then you come out on the other side of
Speaker 1: it and you've grown and you've learned, and then you
Speaker 1: have the experience from it, and then you can talk
Speaker 1: about it on a podcast exactly, exactly. Well, thank you
Speaker 1: so much, Monica for taking the time to come on
Speaker 1: my podcast. I look up to you and your work
Speaker 1: ethic and your drive so much, so I just really
Speaker 1: appreciate you taking the time. Thank you. I appreciate it
Speaker 1: so much. This has been so fun. Thank you amazing.
Speaker 1: Yaiya