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Speaker 1: M Hey guys, it's Sammy Jay and welcome back to

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Speaker 1: my podcast Let's Be Real. And today I am so

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Speaker 1: thrilled because this week I got to chat with podcaster, actor, producer,

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Speaker 1: and editor Monica Padmin. I love this episode. We get

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Speaker 1: into some very interesting topics that we haven't explored yet

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Speaker 1: on this podcast, so I'm excited for you to check

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Speaker 1: it out. Enjoying. Hi Montica, and welcome to the Let's

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Speaker 1: Burial Podcast. Hi, thank you for having me. I am

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Speaker 1: so honored to have you. You are one of my

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Speaker 1: favorite podcasters and I genuinely look up to you so

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Speaker 1: much because your drive and just the way you're just

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Speaker 1: a go getter and it's really inspiring. Thank you, Thank you.

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Speaker 1: That's um, that's such a nice compliment. And I think one,

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Speaker 1: um that I can take amazing as you should, take

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Speaker 1: it as you should. So something that I want to

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Speaker 1: talk about is when did you first think, Okay, I

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Speaker 1: want to be in the entertainment industry in some way,

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Speaker 1: shape or form. I'm not sure what, but I want

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Speaker 1: to be in it. Well when I was. And I

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Speaker 1: sound like a broken record because I've talked about this lot,

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Speaker 1: but this is the truth. Um, Let's be real man. Yeah, exactly, exactly. Um.

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Speaker 1: When I was in eighth grade, I saw Good while

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Speaker 1: hunting for the first time. And then I also at

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Speaker 1: the same time was getting super into Friends, the TV

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Speaker 1: show Who Hasn't Had? If you haven't gotten super into Friends,

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Speaker 1: You've missed out on life, You've missed out on serotonin. Honestly,

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Speaker 1: you really have. And I'd encourage you to get into it.

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Speaker 1: It's a mental health fix, it really is. Um. But yes,

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Speaker 1: So I was super into those things, and they like

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Speaker 1: transported me. I was living in fantasy land all the

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Speaker 1: time after seeing that, of like, I want to be

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Speaker 1: in something like either of those things, Like I want

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Speaker 1: to be a part of what they're doing, which is

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Speaker 1: making other people feel like I feel. Um, And so

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Speaker 1: I just assumed that was acting because it's just the

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Speaker 1: first one, Like they're on the screen. Yeah, what else

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Speaker 1: is there. I didn't know anything about producers or directing

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Speaker 1: or anything. I just was like, Okay, I want so

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Speaker 1: I want to do that. So I want to be

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Speaker 1: an actor. And then in ninth grade I joined theater.

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Speaker 1: I did theater and I was like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: this is right, this is the right fell that home. Yes,

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Speaker 1: I loved it. I mean I was terrified, but I

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Speaker 1: loved it. And it's so rare, like I'm scared of

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Speaker 1: everything basically too. And but it's I'm an anxious girly

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Speaker 1: yes exactly. I'm just like filled with butterflies absolutely all

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Speaker 1: the time, all the time. But it was it was

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Speaker 1: a weird thing to experience that anxiety but then have

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Speaker 1: it to be positive. That's how I feel with the podcast.

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Speaker 1: I know exactly what you're talking about. Like it's you're scared,

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Speaker 1: and then you come out on the other end you're like,

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Speaker 1: I'm better I'm better off for it, and I get

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Speaker 1: your creative energy. I just I did love it. So

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Speaker 1: it's like, Okay, well that's done, I'm doing that now

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Speaker 1: we know um. And so yeah, that was the first.

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Speaker 1: That was sort of the first iterational. So theater, what

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Speaker 1: was your favorite musical you put on or play? I

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Speaker 1: have to ask. I'm from a musical theater family too.

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Speaker 1: You are, well, you're gonna be mad at me then,

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Speaker 1: because I don't like musical I don't like musicals. I

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Speaker 1: like straight plays. And in high school, the best thing

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Speaker 1: we did and this was so informative for me as

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Speaker 1: a person. It was incredible. My senior year, our theater

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Speaker 1: class we wrote a play as a whole class, and

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Speaker 1: they were like these little vignettes, so sketches we wrote

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Speaker 1: basically sketches. We were paired and we like had these

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Speaker 1: different groups for these different sketches and we wrote them.

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Speaker 1: And then we put on this play and it was

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Speaker 1: about high school and it was like sort you know,

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Speaker 1: nods to our own high school and it was life changing.

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Speaker 1: It was so fun and it was so cathartic, and

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Speaker 1: it was um it sold, you know, no one came

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Speaker 1: to plays like at my school. It was like you

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Speaker 1: know football. It was in the South. It was like

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Speaker 1: plays never sold out where the musical theater kids were at.

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Speaker 1: So it was but it was three nights we um

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Speaker 1: put on that play and it sold out every night

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Speaker 1: and it was like a big deal and it was

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Speaker 1: a big deal. It's like have you seen the play?

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Speaker 1: And it was so cool to be a part of

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Speaker 1: that and the fact that we had written it like

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Speaker 1: your baby, it added a new layer of of ownership

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Speaker 1: that obviously in high school you never ever ever get.

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Speaker 1: I'm so grateful to my theater teacher. Her name was

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Speaker 1: Miss Vetter. Shout out the net better and um, she

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Speaker 1: was like, who would have thought to put a bunch

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Speaker 1: of high schoolers in charge of writing a play? And

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Speaker 1: she did and it was unbelievable. So from that experience,

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Speaker 1: was it the writing part or the collaboration of collaborating

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Speaker 1: with people around you? Because I've noticed I love collaboration.

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Speaker 1: It is there's nothing like it. There is nothing like it.

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Speaker 1: And I think when I was watching like Friends and

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Speaker 1: like in retrospect, watching Friends and watching good Will Hunting,

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Speaker 1: it was honestly that that I was drawn to more

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Speaker 1: than acting. I think I didn't know that, but now

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Speaker 1: seeing it from a bird's eye view, I can see

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Speaker 1: like like the Ben and Matt writing it, like that

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Speaker 1: whole story, and then the ensemble of friends, like that's

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Speaker 1: what I was drawn to. Is this like camaraderie within creativity?

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Speaker 1: I think? And so in yes, the collaboration piece, the

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Speaker 1: writing piece too. I mean I love writing, I always have,

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Speaker 1: but that felt so different, like words like dialogue, felt

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Speaker 1: so different than what I've been used to writing, and

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Speaker 1: it was just so fun, it was so eye opening.

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Speaker 1: I love experiences like that because they truly shape so much.

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Speaker 1: I think one of my favorite parts. And maybe It's

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Speaker 1: why I love like Parks and Wreck in the Office

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Speaker 1: and shows like that, is that there's always like through

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Speaker 1: elements that kind of overlay throughout that you'll pick up on.

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Speaker 1: You're like, oh, every time you watch you pick up

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Speaker 1: on something different. Yes, yes, I agree. So I want

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Speaker 1: to talk about armchair experts. Okay, so you came up

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Speaker 1: the format. You're the one that ish ish I can't

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Speaker 1: take all you know obviously obviously you can't take all

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Speaker 1: the credits, but I think, I think, But it's also

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Speaker 1: it just has so much of you in it, thank

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Speaker 1: and that's what's so special about it. And I was

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Speaker 1: wondering when you came up with when you're creating these podcasts,

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Speaker 1: what's the most unexpected lesson you've learned about yourself that

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Speaker 1: you didn't expect to going into it. That's a great question.

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Speaker 1: I think for me, the biggest that I've learned from

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Speaker 1: all of them, all the months we've done um, including

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Speaker 1: in majorly one that's about to come out on Fertility

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Speaker 1: about yes, is I am like, no holds bar, I'm

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Speaker 1: just like I am fine to just kind of spill

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Speaker 1: every single thing I'm thinking and feeling and going through.

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Speaker 1: I would not have expected that going in, and even

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Speaker 1: at the very beginning, I was hesitant and I talked

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Speaker 1: to DX about it. I was like, I don't know,

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Speaker 1: like this feels very vulnerable, and He's like, yeah, I

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Speaker 1: mean you don't have to, but it's going to be

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Speaker 1: better off for it, and not like not like oh,

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Speaker 1: it'll be a good show if you're like crying, but

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Speaker 1: just like authenticity is always what reads, it's the best. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: So I was like, all right, it's like my might

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Speaker 1: as well. Is it weird when people like know things

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Speaker 1: about you and they come up to you and you're like, wait,

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Speaker 1: how do you know that very particular random fact about me?

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Speaker 1: It's like did I share that? Yes. It's happened a

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Speaker 1: couple of times where I'm like, oh, yeah, I talked

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Speaker 1: about that and now and now people know. Um. But

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Speaker 1: it's were the times where I've been like, oh, I

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Speaker 1: need to be a little careful is when I talk

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Speaker 1: about other people. Not badly, of course, but like when

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Speaker 1: I'm talking about people in my life and I'm like, oh,

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Speaker 1: I was at this this with this person and then

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Speaker 1: they said this, I don't think about that, and I

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Speaker 1: made it any conversation though, you know, yeah, but I

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Speaker 1: tell you know, we tell stories about our lives and

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Speaker 1: our friends, and sometimes I'm like, Wow, they're a little

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Speaker 1: more private than me, So I need to be a

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Speaker 1: little bit more careful. I've been trying to immerse myself

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Speaker 1: in creativity as much as possible, because I've noticed that

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Speaker 1: that's when I'm just feeling most myself. I love that.

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Speaker 1: But burnout is real, and that is something that I

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Speaker 1: was wondering if you've ever experienced and if you have

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Speaker 1: any advice song, because I know a lot of people

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Speaker 1: that I can overwork themselves, and I feel like hustle

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Speaker 1: and grind culture is so emphasized right now and glorified

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Speaker 1: and it's not good to not take care of your

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Speaker 1: mental health and your social beings. I was wondering if

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Speaker 1: that's something that you've gone through a hundred I mean,

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Speaker 1: I don't know if I have advice, I need advice,

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Speaker 1: I don't. UM. My advice would be to make sure

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Speaker 1: because like in this job, in my job, um, I

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Speaker 1: could be working all the time. I could be because

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Speaker 1: I also edit our show, so and we have lots

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Speaker 1: of shows, and so at any moment, I could be

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Speaker 1: sitting down and working on one of those things. So

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Speaker 1: my advice that I've tried to implement and done well

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Speaker 1: is like I am going out to dinner with my

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Speaker 1: friend on Tuesday. I am going to go get a

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Speaker 1: drink with Jess on Monday. Like I plan in time,

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Speaker 1: recreational time, because if I don't, then I'll I'll work.

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Speaker 1: Like so your podcast, you have to live life to

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Speaker 1: be able to talk about it. Very true, very true.

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Speaker 1: But you have to like tell yourself, I I it's

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Speaker 1: okay to say yes to um things that feel quote

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Speaker 1: fun or extra, even though you have work to do.

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Speaker 1: It's really important for balance, even if it means I

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Speaker 1: mean for me, even if it means like okay, I

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Speaker 1: am going to say yes to this dinner date and

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Speaker 1: then maybe it means I go home and I'm up

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Speaker 1: late working, but it's still important to put that other

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Speaker 1: piece in exact for me. No, I it's it's something

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Speaker 1: that I find that's hard to prioritize. But I notice

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Speaker 1: what I don't the negative effects of it. Yes, it's

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Speaker 1: I mean, it is real when you're fully immersed in

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Speaker 1: work and work only it is it's too much like

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Speaker 1: I don't know, I don't know. We're built to be

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Speaker 1: that way. No, especially when you don't work at nine

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Speaker 1: to five and there's no hard cut off. You have

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Speaker 1: to create those boundaries yourself, and if you've a lot

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Speaker 1: to get done and it gets so blurred. Yes, I

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Speaker 1: literally that's funny that you brought it up. Yesterday or Sunday.

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Speaker 1: I like wrote out a calendar for the week because

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Speaker 1: I was like, that's what I do. I have to

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Speaker 1: write everything, yes, but I normally don't. I'm like, okay,

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Speaker 1: you know, I can figure it out. But I thought,

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Speaker 1: I really need to write out a schedule for the

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Speaker 1: week so I don't get super Otherwise I was just

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Speaker 1: like so overwhelmed. This week is going to be crazy

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Speaker 1: by the time. Yes, it helped, like it helped put

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Speaker 1: some structure to it and not feel like it's just

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Speaker 1: just like wait over you. Yeah, I've noticed. For me,

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Speaker 1: I feel so I'm going to forget something unless I

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Speaker 1: write it down. I have to like writing down my

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Speaker 1: to do list are the most calming part of my day,

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Speaker 1: and then checking them off is the most satisfying part.

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Speaker 1: It just hits different. It's really special. It's really something

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Speaker 1: about editing. What about it? Do you like it? Piecing together?

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Speaker 1: The story is it kind of replaying it back because

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Speaker 1: I know you can learn so much just from editing.

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Speaker 1: I've learned so much about people in general, a lot

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Speaker 1: about myself. Um yeah, because you can hear it objectively,

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Speaker 1: and you don't normally in life get to hear yourself objectively,

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Speaker 1: So it's kind of a privileged point of view. I

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Speaker 1: do like that, um. I like and I will shout

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Speaker 1: out my friend Emma, who also we've we've brought on

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Speaker 1: recently and she also helps with editing. So she goes

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Speaker 1: through first, and then I go through and I edit

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Speaker 1: for content. So she goes in now and she takes

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Speaker 1: out the ums and the likes, and you know, she

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Speaker 1: has some instructions on what to do, and then I

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Speaker 1: go in and I decide, like what stays, what goes.

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Speaker 1: I really like having a say in the end product

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Speaker 1: because it's a whole process. You know, we record and

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Speaker 1: then it's booking the guests. It's like, exactly, people don't

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Speaker 1: realize on the back end of it, Like it's so

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Speaker 1: time consuming and it's more than just the episode, so

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Speaker 1: much more. Yeah, you're right, it starts way before that. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's the it's the reach out, and then it's the

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Speaker 1: long time before we may schedule, reschedule this. Yeah, and

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Speaker 1: so by the time we get the edit, it feels

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Speaker 1: complete and I like and I like that, and I like,

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Speaker 1: I mean, really, it's my fingerprint, you know. I'm deciding

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Speaker 1: what says, what goes, How provocative do we want to be?

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Speaker 1: How provocative do we not want to be? I get

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Speaker 1: to make those decisions, and so it's feels rewarding. I

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Speaker 1: think I do think editing feeling and because it's just

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Speaker 1: so tedious. It is so tedious that when you complete it,

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Speaker 1: you do feel like you've really accomplished something. Oh it

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Speaker 1: feels like you just ran a marathon in a weird way.

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Speaker 1: You're like, yes, for your brain, for your brain. Absolutely,

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Speaker 1: that's what it's like. Yeah, Okay, we have to take

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Speaker 1: one quick break. But when we come back, I wanted

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Speaker 1: to Ivan and talk about your new podcast, Race the

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Speaker 1: thirty five, which I am so fascinated by. Also what

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Speaker 1: it's like working with Kristen and Dax and so much more.

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Speaker 1: We'll be right back and we're back. I'm very excited

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Speaker 1: to talk to you about this new podcast coming because

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Speaker 1: um so I have a new Betrios. You do, Okay,

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Speaker 1: you do, and I was told that seventeen to freeze

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Speaker 1: my eggs. I did not because another doctor told me

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Speaker 1: not to. But I understand the fact that this is

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Speaker 1: a conversation that has been brought up so early in

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Speaker 1: my life that I've had to deal with. I truly

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Speaker 1: am like so excited to get into this conversation with

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Speaker 1: you because it's so not discussed enough at all. I

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Speaker 1: mean it is in some ways, but I found that

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Speaker 1: it's normally spoken about so clinically, and that's really why

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Speaker 1: I wanted to do this. So, yes, we have the

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Speaker 1: a show. It's called Race to thirty five. Um, it's

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Speaker 1: under our armchair umbrella and the network work of the network.

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Speaker 1: Yeah that is, that is what it is. We just

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Speaker 1: call it an umbrella. Uh but yeah. So it's me

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Speaker 1: and Liz Plank. We co host and she's the best,

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Speaker 1: and we got to know each other really well, really quick.

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Speaker 1: You gotta if this is the topic. It was crazy.

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Speaker 1: It was crazy. We just got like jumped in the

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Speaker 1: deep end and did this together. We froze her exit

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Speaker 1: at the same time, and we followed that whole process

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Speaker 1: and so each episode, at the top of each episode

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Speaker 1: is us talking about how we're feeling talking about, you know,

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Speaker 1: the new thoughts and feelings. We've had the shots from

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Speaker 1: the night before, which we did together every night, and

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Speaker 1: and then the rest of the episode is us talking

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Speaker 1: to someone with an interesting fertility story or an expert

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Speaker 1: in the field, and it's I'm I I'm really proud

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Speaker 1: of It is so intimate, obviously, like it's our bodies.

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Speaker 1: It's no one. You know, you're not supposed to compare

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Speaker 1: or worry about the result. But at the end of

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Speaker 1: the day, there's a result. You get a number of eggs,

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Speaker 1: and so there's also this kind of pressure. There is

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Speaker 1: so much pressure that I already feel and I'm twenty yeah,

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Speaker 1: and it's crazy that you're ticking time like you gotta go,

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Speaker 1: and it's like, no, yes, yes, I know, I know,

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Speaker 1: you you deaf, you have time. Don't worry. There's so

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Speaker 1: many different women's issues that also coincide with it, like

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Speaker 1: it's all intertwined, oh for sure. And the thing is

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Speaker 1: that's funny is we walk around and we don't necessarily

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Speaker 1: know these things about our bodies unless there's a reason

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Speaker 1: to know. If there's a problem or you're in pain

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Speaker 1: or something, and you go seek out professional normally, like

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Speaker 1: at the very beginning of this process, what you do

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Speaker 1: is you go in, they give you a transmaginal ultrasound

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Speaker 1: and they look to see how many follicles you have.

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Speaker 1: It is so cool, It is so cool. It's magic.

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Speaker 1: I mean the fact that they can see inside you

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Speaker 1: and know how many follicles you have that will maybe

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Speaker 1: or maybe not trying to like mature intoath. I know,

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Speaker 1: it's fascinating, but you know that early first um and

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Speaker 1: that's kind of the maximount you'll have. And and it's

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Speaker 1: funny because you get that number and you start, you know,

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Speaker 1: in an our case, spiraling or thinking about that or

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Speaker 1: what does it mean? And is it scary? Is it not?

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Speaker 1: And it's funny because I was like, well, if I

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Speaker 1: hadn't frozen my eggs, I wouldn't. I would never know

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Speaker 1: that number, would never know that number, even though it exists.

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Speaker 1: It's so crazy. I would never know. And even if

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Speaker 1: if I got pregnant, like a lot of my friends

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Speaker 1: who have gotten pregnant naturally, they don't know how many

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Speaker 1: follicles they have. They just got pregnant. It's very interesting

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Speaker 1: to do it this way where you you know so

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Speaker 1: much maybe too much. Yeah, do you think you know

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Speaker 1: you knew too much information going into it? As a

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Speaker 1: fellow of anxious girly? Like, how does that affect the

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Speaker 1: connection between the two, because I don't know of how

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Speaker 1: I would do well knowing all of that? Well, is

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Speaker 1: there a sense of relief also having that information? I

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Speaker 1: think it depending on your personal situation, it can be. Um,

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Speaker 1: I think, I mean, if you're deciding to freeze your eggs,

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Speaker 1: you have to know that information. It's part of it.

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Speaker 1: I mean, it's part of the whole deal. So I

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Speaker 1: get you know, It's not like, oh I wish I

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Speaker 1: didn't know, because that's like the point. The point is

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Speaker 1: to know how many you have for your insurance? But

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Speaker 1: do I wish I had not done it so that

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Speaker 1: I never knew? No, I'm glad, I'm I'm glad I

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Speaker 1: went through that process. What have you learned most about yourself?

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Speaker 1: I think, I mean, this is like such a bold

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Speaker 1: statement before, but now I'm I'm wishy washing on it.

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Speaker 1: During it, I will say, during it, I was like,

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Speaker 1: I definitely want to have kids, and which I did

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Speaker 1: not know before. I didn't I didn't feel like I'm

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Speaker 1: one of those people who has to have kids. You know,

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Speaker 1: some women are like four and they're like, I'm a mom, yes,

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Speaker 1: and they just know if they have like really strong

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Speaker 1: maternal instincts from early on, they know. I mean, I

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Speaker 1: think some of that is societal, like a lot of it.

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Speaker 1: But also I do I know these people, like I

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Speaker 1: do sense that some people are like, yeah, I'm I'm

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Speaker 1: meant to be a mom, And I never had that. Um. Also,

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Speaker 1: I mean, I have an and credible mother. She's so

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Speaker 1: good and so like, she's perfect, perfect for me. But

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Speaker 1: she wasn't like the most maternal mom, and so I

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Speaker 1: didn't also have that modeled. So I never was like

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Speaker 1: this is what I like, tiny baby in my arms

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Speaker 1: or whatever. Like she wasn't like looking at babies nearby

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Speaker 1: in the grocery store and like oh, like she didn't

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Speaker 1: do that, and so either do I. I don't do

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Speaker 1: that either. Um So I didn't know. I've always been

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Speaker 1: on the fence, but during the process was like, no

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Speaker 1: I do. Now that I'm out of it, I'm bad.

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Speaker 1: Like I don't know. It's hard to know when you're

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Speaker 1: on so many hormones. What's real? Tell me about it?

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Speaker 1: I had had got a birth control, or went on

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Speaker 1: birth control and it gave me cystic acne. That's really

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Speaker 1: funny that you say that, because I had really bad

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Speaker 1: cystic acne. The only thing that worked was birth control.

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Speaker 1: It's so interesting how it affects everyone so differently. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I know, hormone crazy. They are crazy. I learned a

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Speaker 1: lot about hormones over this process. Well, we had do

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Speaker 1: you know Andrew Huberman the Huberman Lab podcast. I've heard

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Speaker 1: of it. It's a great podcast. Um. We had Andrew

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Speaker 1: on Armchair and then we had him on Race as well, Um,

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Speaker 1: to talk about hormones and name by the way, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: well Race against the Clock you know, hey, it's playing

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Speaker 1: on what we go through exactly. But yeah, he said,

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Speaker 1: when a male and a female have a baby together,

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Speaker 1: the man's testosterone actually drops. Isn't that crazy? And I

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Speaker 1: think it's because like, well, I mean there's lots of

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Speaker 1: there's lots of there's lots of theories, but like a

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Speaker 1: lot of you know, when people say like the dad bod,

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Speaker 1: a lot of that can come from a drop in testosterone.

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Speaker 1: Mm hmmm. It's interesting. There's a lot there's a lot

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Speaker 1: of little baby facts like that. No hormones of everything

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Speaker 1: much everything, and it's just something that we have to

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Speaker 1: deal with on a day to day. And then when

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Speaker 1: you're putting external hormones literally you're putting so many hormones

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Speaker 1: in your body in order to like make your eggs

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Speaker 1: grow times a good, like you want them huge, like

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Speaker 1: so much more than they How are your emotions? They

384
00:22:22,920 --> 00:22:29,719
Speaker 1: were surprisingly fine? Okay, that's so good. I was shocked

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Speaker 1: because I am so sensitive to hormonal change, like I

386
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Speaker 1: have pretty bad pian mass, like I feel it. I

387
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Speaker 1: feel hormonal change in extreme, very in tune with your body. Yes,

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Speaker 1: and um, so I was really like this is gone up,

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Speaker 1: this is gonna up. For yes, I was like, this

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Speaker 1: is going to be horrible, and then I actually was okay.

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Speaker 1: Liz had a little bit tougher over time. And again,

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Speaker 1: I'm about to start editing that shows, so I don't

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Speaker 1: really know until I'm in there, I don't know. I

394
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Speaker 1: might be crazy. And I just in the moment didn't

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Speaker 1: realize what a beautiful journal to look back on. I'm scared.

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Speaker 1: So you've been doing multiple podcasts, would you say podcasting

397
00:23:14,600 --> 00:23:18,040
Speaker 1: into your favorite type of media of storytelling as like

398
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Speaker 1: on the outside or to to create, to create yeah, yeah, okay,

399
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Speaker 1: I love it. I love it. It's so awesome. It

400
00:23:26,600 --> 00:23:29,760
Speaker 1: is so awesome. I feel like it's so intimate in

401
00:23:29,800 --> 00:23:34,480
Speaker 1: a way that lots of other mediums can't be. UM,

402
00:23:34,520 --> 00:23:39,080
Speaker 1: and you just get to tell tiny stories, like really

403
00:23:39,200 --> 00:23:44,919
Speaker 1: teeny tiny stories, and um, those to me are weirdly

404
00:23:44,960 --> 00:23:47,960
Speaker 1: the most universal ones. Do you have a favorite podcast

405
00:23:47,960 --> 00:23:52,199
Speaker 1: story you've told so far? Mm hmm. They're like, oh,

406
00:23:52,280 --> 00:23:54,640
Speaker 1: I got a great reaction, or it's just like, oh,

407
00:23:54,720 --> 00:23:58,600
Speaker 1: this is a good story. I know, that's a great question.

408
00:23:59,000 --> 00:24:03,320
Speaker 1: I mean, this isn't like a great reaction. But when

409
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Speaker 1: when so Dax had a relapse and we did an

410
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Speaker 1: episode on that, and that was, um, I think a

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Speaker 1: really important episode for us, and that was a really

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Speaker 1: important piece of his story that we had to tell,

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Speaker 1: and we did. We felt like obligated to tell our

414
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Speaker 1: listeners because we are very honest and it would be

415
00:24:25,760 --> 00:24:28,400
Speaker 1: so weird, like to to not talk about this kind

416
00:24:28,440 --> 00:24:31,680
Speaker 1: of very big thing going on and all of our

417
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Speaker 1: lives at that time, and we have a lot of

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Speaker 1: people who are listening who are sober, who are trying

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Speaker 1: to get sober, who are in recovery, and it felt

420
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Speaker 1: like it's such a disservice to them to not share

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Speaker 1: this part, like it's an important part. It is a

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00:24:49,880 --> 00:24:53,920
Speaker 1: part of recovery. So it's it's the reality of it, Yes, exactly.

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Speaker 1: And um, so that I think is like the most

424
00:24:57,240 --> 00:25:02,639
Speaker 1: important story we have told on the show is that

425
00:25:02,800 --> 00:25:07,440
Speaker 1: very honest reality. Um. And then and then people got

426
00:25:07,520 --> 00:25:11,199
Speaker 1: to see like a rebound from from that, and it

427
00:25:11,240 --> 00:25:13,439
Speaker 1: was I think, I hope helpful if you have the

428
00:25:13,440 --> 00:25:16,399
Speaker 1: most memorable podcast guest you guys have had on that's

429
00:25:16,880 --> 00:25:20,639
Speaker 1: you've had so many incredible we have I mean for me,

430
00:25:20,680 --> 00:25:24,560
Speaker 1: Matt Damon, I mean, yeah, it was, it was an

431
00:25:24,600 --> 00:25:28,840
Speaker 1: actual dream. It was crazy. I mean I used to

432
00:25:28,920 --> 00:25:32,280
Speaker 1: like imagine that they would be it would be camping

433
00:25:32,320 --> 00:25:35,040
Speaker 1: in Georgia and I'd be like, maybe they're in the tent.

434
00:25:36,000 --> 00:25:39,840
Speaker 1: Like I really thought that. I was nuts. You manifested

435
00:25:39,880 --> 00:25:43,120
Speaker 1: that moment, I mean ten years or fifteen years later.

436
00:25:43,160 --> 00:25:46,040
Speaker 1: But yes, do you have any other manifestations you want

437
00:25:46,040 --> 00:25:48,040
Speaker 1: to put out there? And I do. I do a

438
00:25:48,080 --> 00:25:51,640
Speaker 1: lot of fantasizing. So I'm sitting here my day spent

439
00:25:51,640 --> 00:25:54,480
Speaker 1: in daydreaming. Yes, but you gotta shoot high, you do.

440
00:25:54,760 --> 00:25:57,080
Speaker 1: That's something I've realized a lot of people if I

441
00:25:57,119 --> 00:25:59,240
Speaker 1: listened to every person that told me that I couldn't

442
00:25:59,280 --> 00:26:02,360
Speaker 1: do what I've done, yeah, I wouldn't be doing any

443
00:26:02,400 --> 00:26:05,320
Speaker 1: of this. We wouldn't be having this conversation. We definitely wouldn't.

444
00:26:05,359 --> 00:26:08,800
Speaker 1: I totally agree. Like, it's funny because I think in general,

445
00:26:08,840 --> 00:26:11,919
Speaker 1: I'm a fairly practical person. I grew up in a

446
00:26:11,960 --> 00:26:15,879
Speaker 1: really practical household. But I have this really pie in

447
00:26:15,920 --> 00:26:20,840
Speaker 1: the sky um dream or re piece of me that

448
00:26:21,320 --> 00:26:24,360
Speaker 1: I'm grateful for, or yes, I would not be here. Yeah,

449
00:26:24,359 --> 00:26:26,800
Speaker 1: because I feel like, also if you, if we like

450
00:26:26,920 --> 00:26:29,520
Speaker 1: listen to everyone that says the probability of that happening

451
00:26:29,640 --> 00:26:32,200
Speaker 1: is so low, you shouldn't do it. It's like, no, yeah,

452
00:26:32,320 --> 00:26:33,840
Speaker 1: I'm still going to do it because it's for the

453
00:26:33,880 --> 00:26:38,200
Speaker 1: experience exactly. It's not about results, That's the thing. This

454
00:26:38,359 --> 00:26:41,600
Speaker 1: process something that I've realized that so many people, at

455
00:26:41,680 --> 00:26:44,080
Speaker 1: least people that I have no specifically creative A lot

456
00:26:44,119 --> 00:26:46,520
Speaker 1: of times they focus on the end product. They want

457
00:26:46,520 --> 00:26:49,639
Speaker 1: this to be what what success means? You know a

458
00:26:49,640 --> 00:26:52,000
Speaker 1: lot of the times it's commercial success, it's getting something in.

459
00:26:52,040 --> 00:26:54,679
Speaker 1: But I feel like the process the best part of

460
00:26:54,680 --> 00:26:57,199
Speaker 1: No one even appreciates it. It is and even with

461
00:26:57,280 --> 00:27:00,600
Speaker 1: this podcast with Brace to thirty five, I'm like, I said,

462
00:27:00,600 --> 00:27:04,040
Speaker 1: I'm about to start editing it and I I don't.

463
00:27:04,080 --> 00:27:08,520
Speaker 1: I don't want to because that is that's about result,

464
00:27:09,280 --> 00:27:13,000
Speaker 1: and I already did the process and that it's going

465
00:27:13,040 --> 00:27:15,840
Speaker 1: back to it. Yeah, and I like the process was

466
00:27:16,720 --> 00:27:22,440
Speaker 1: so interesting and illuminating and now I'm like, oh, now

467
00:27:22,520 --> 00:27:25,320
Speaker 1: I'm going into the like result phase of it, and

468
00:27:25,359 --> 00:27:28,320
Speaker 1: it doesn't feel as fun fulfilling any of it. Like

469
00:27:28,359 --> 00:27:32,000
Speaker 1: the process was the big win. Exactly. It's the journey

470
00:27:32,040 --> 00:27:34,720
Speaker 1: that you remember. It's not necessarily what people view of

471
00:27:34,720 --> 00:27:37,040
Speaker 1: it because at the end of the day, especially with podcasts,

472
00:27:37,080 --> 00:27:38,520
Speaker 1: and you put it out there, it's up to other

473
00:27:38,560 --> 00:27:43,120
Speaker 1: people's interpretation. Like this is a fun part, yes, exactly.

474
00:27:44,920 --> 00:27:46,800
Speaker 1: We have to take one more quick break, but when

475
00:27:46,840 --> 00:27:49,240
Speaker 1: we come back, I want to talk about the idea

476
00:27:49,280 --> 00:27:52,720
Speaker 1: of mentorship more and working with Kristen and Dax and

477
00:27:52,760 --> 00:27:55,159
Speaker 1: what that's meant for you and your career. Will be

478
00:27:55,359 --> 00:28:04,280
Speaker 1: right back. Okay, and we're back. Something else I want

479
00:28:04,280 --> 00:28:06,879
Speaker 1: to talk to you is about mentorship because I think

480
00:28:07,080 --> 00:28:10,480
Speaker 1: it's a really interesting topic that isn't talked about a lot,

481
00:28:10,600 --> 00:28:15,320
Speaker 1: but it is so helpful and got getting guidance from

482
00:28:15,359 --> 00:28:19,359
Speaker 1: someone that has been there before and truly wants to

483
00:28:19,400 --> 00:28:21,200
Speaker 1: support you. And I know you found that a lot

484
00:28:21,280 --> 00:28:25,080
Speaker 1: within Kristin and Dax and having that mentorship. What has

485
00:28:25,119 --> 00:28:28,280
Speaker 1: it been like being able to ask them for advice

486
00:28:28,600 --> 00:28:31,200
Speaker 1: but also being able to like, what have you learned?

487
00:28:31,280 --> 00:28:33,480
Speaker 1: What's been something you've soaked up that's kind of you've

488
00:28:33,480 --> 00:28:37,440
Speaker 1: been grained into you. Yeah, a lot from Kristen for sure,

489
00:28:37,560 --> 00:28:40,840
Speaker 1: because so much of that I think happened when I

490
00:28:40,880 --> 00:28:44,080
Speaker 1: was her assistant and then when I started doing projects

491
00:28:44,160 --> 00:28:48,960
Speaker 1: with her. She just handles herself in a way that

492
00:28:49,200 --> 00:28:55,200
Speaker 1: is very commendable and respectable. Like always, you know, she

493
00:28:55,280 --> 00:29:00,760
Speaker 1: does such a good job of looking out for people

494
00:29:01,000 --> 00:29:05,040
Speaker 1: under her and pulling them up. I think it's hard

495
00:29:05,080 --> 00:29:08,960
Speaker 1: to do because they're they're doing their job, they're in

496
00:29:08,960 --> 00:29:11,720
Speaker 1: a position that's helpful to you, like look me. I

497
00:29:11,760 --> 00:29:14,440
Speaker 1: mean I I worked for her, and she didn't have

498
00:29:14,760 --> 00:29:19,840
Speaker 1: to say, you know, it's okay for you to go

499
00:29:19,920 --> 00:29:22,440
Speaker 1: do this other thing, or it's okay for you to

500
00:29:23,200 --> 00:29:26,200
Speaker 1: expand your wings because that could be a threat to her.

501
00:29:26,240 --> 00:29:30,000
Speaker 1: There's so much competition un officially not real competition, but

502
00:29:30,040 --> 00:29:32,960
Speaker 1: I think it's what society puts on us like women

503
00:29:33,000 --> 00:29:35,480
Speaker 1: need to not stick together and compete, But if anything,

504
00:29:35,880 --> 00:29:37,880
Speaker 1: it's we should be doing the opposite because there's more

505
00:29:37,880 --> 00:29:41,200
Speaker 1: than enough room for everybody. Totally and absolutely. But I

506
00:29:41,240 --> 00:29:43,680
Speaker 1: don't even mean that per se, I mean more even

507
00:29:43,680 --> 00:29:46,000
Speaker 1: just practically, like, well, if this person goes and gets

508
00:29:46,000 --> 00:29:48,320
Speaker 1: this other job or goes and works on the podcast

509
00:29:48,360 --> 00:29:52,640
Speaker 1: and the podcast becomes big, will she have time? Ye? Me?

510
00:29:53,400 --> 00:29:56,320
Speaker 1: I mean, And that's the area is No, I didn't.

511
00:29:56,360 --> 00:29:59,600
Speaker 1: I had to leave that, and she knew that and

512
00:30:00,240 --> 00:30:04,760
Speaker 1: still put my needs above hers In that moment she

513
00:30:04,880 --> 00:30:09,960
Speaker 1: was like, well, Monica's career and future is more important

514
00:30:10,040 --> 00:30:15,280
Speaker 1: than her assisting me. Um, and that is hard to do.

515
00:30:15,400 --> 00:30:18,400
Speaker 1: That's really hard, really hard to put someone else's needs

516
00:30:18,400 --> 00:30:20,760
Speaker 1: above yours. And she does that a lot in life

517
00:30:21,120 --> 00:30:26,080
Speaker 1: in general and friendships and everything. So um, I do

518
00:30:26,240 --> 00:30:29,800
Speaker 1: try to think about that when I am just living

519
00:30:29,840 --> 00:30:33,360
Speaker 1: my life of that person is their own person and

520
00:30:33,480 --> 00:30:35,520
Speaker 1: not just there to help, not just there for me.

521
00:30:36,880 --> 00:30:40,800
Speaker 1: So I think that's that has been something that's really stuck.

522
00:30:40,840 --> 00:30:43,160
Speaker 1: I mean also just kindness. I mean, she's so nice

523
00:30:43,200 --> 00:30:47,160
Speaker 1: to everyone, she always is, and I think that has

524
00:30:47,280 --> 00:30:53,120
Speaker 1: has stuck, just like being being nice hard. It's it's fine,

525
00:30:53,280 --> 00:30:57,840
Speaker 1: just be nice, just choose that. You can choose that today. Um.

526
00:30:57,920 --> 00:31:01,040
Speaker 1: And then with Dax, definitely honest, I mean honesty piece

527
00:31:01,480 --> 00:31:06,560
Speaker 1: is never going anywhere, and it is I think new

528
00:31:06,760 --> 00:31:11,200
Speaker 1: Like I think it's from having met him. It's I

529
00:31:11,240 --> 00:31:13,760
Speaker 1: have never met anyone like that before who's just like

530
00:31:14,000 --> 00:31:19,360
Speaker 1: so blatantly honest and open and um but also like

531
00:31:19,480 --> 00:31:24,120
Speaker 1: open with his apologies and open like he's just he's

532
00:31:24,160 --> 00:31:29,080
Speaker 1: just very himself. And I think that has been grained.

533
00:31:29,120 --> 00:31:31,960
Speaker 1: And also I think a big thing that has changed

534
00:31:32,400 --> 00:31:36,920
Speaker 1: as I used to see things a lot more black

535
00:31:36,960 --> 00:31:43,240
Speaker 1: and white, and having him in my life has really

536
00:31:44,200 --> 00:31:47,240
Speaker 1: changed that. I mean, he's only see's gray. He doesn't

537
00:31:47,240 --> 00:31:50,360
Speaker 1: see any black and white ever, And sometimes I'm like, no, there,

538
00:31:50,520 --> 00:31:53,280
Speaker 1: sometimes it is black and white. I have to like

539
00:31:53,400 --> 00:31:54,960
Speaker 1: try to pull them back a little bit towards that.

540
00:31:55,000 --> 00:31:57,800
Speaker 1: But he's only seeing that. He has a lot of

541
00:31:57,840 --> 00:32:02,520
Speaker 1: compassion for people who maybe other people don't have compassion

542
00:32:02,560 --> 00:32:06,240
Speaker 1: for and that's really bled in Like I always am

543
00:32:06,280 --> 00:32:11,120
Speaker 1: looking for the flip side of the coin and that

544
00:32:11,120 --> 00:32:14,120
Speaker 1: that's all him. But I think that's one of the

545
00:32:14,120 --> 00:32:18,120
Speaker 1: reasons why it's it just works so well. Is because

546
00:32:18,280 --> 00:32:22,120
Speaker 1: there's that it's kind of like the opposites attracted way,

547
00:32:22,640 --> 00:32:24,280
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, and you get the balance

548
00:32:24,320 --> 00:32:27,000
Speaker 1: of both which is needed, you know, to balance each

549
00:32:27,000 --> 00:32:28,920
Speaker 1: other out, to push you out of your comfort zone

550
00:32:28,920 --> 00:32:31,680
Speaker 1: and to maybe reel and back in. Like I've been

551
00:32:31,720 --> 00:32:33,840
Speaker 1: trying to live more in the gray. So I understand

552
00:32:33,920 --> 00:32:37,240
Speaker 1: what you're talking about. It is hard, but you know

553
00:32:37,280 --> 00:32:40,120
Speaker 1: what twenties a new decade is, what I say, is

554
00:32:40,160 --> 00:32:43,480
Speaker 1: for putting ourselves out there, for being the gray area.

555
00:32:43,840 --> 00:32:47,040
Speaker 1: You're so advanced for twenty I mean when I was twenty, yeah,

556
00:32:47,080 --> 00:32:51,040
Speaker 1: I was definitely not thinking about the gray How would

557
00:32:51,040 --> 00:32:53,680
Speaker 1: you say doing this throughout this entire process, it's just

558
00:32:53,800 --> 00:32:56,640
Speaker 1: increased your empathy a bit, I think. So, I really

559
00:32:56,680 --> 00:32:59,840
Speaker 1: think so. And Kristen is also incredibly empathetic, So I

560
00:32:59,840 --> 00:33:03,840
Speaker 1: think just like full immersion in empathy for the past

561
00:33:04,440 --> 00:33:07,200
Speaker 1: eight years or so has has definitely had an impact

562
00:33:07,240 --> 00:33:11,800
Speaker 1: eight years, I think. So that's crazy. I think. So,

563
00:33:12,120 --> 00:33:14,520
Speaker 1: what would you tell your younger self? You could give

564
00:33:14,800 --> 00:33:18,720
Speaker 1: towenty year old Monica a little piece of advice about

565
00:33:18,800 --> 00:33:21,440
Speaker 1: knowing all you that you know now? I think I

566
00:33:21,480 --> 00:33:24,479
Speaker 1: would be circling back to what we talked about just

567
00:33:25,280 --> 00:33:30,200
Speaker 1: enjoy the ride because you never know where it's going

568
00:33:30,280 --> 00:33:32,800
Speaker 1: to go. And I mean, I think actually, to be

569
00:33:32,840 --> 00:33:34,880
Speaker 1: fair to myself, I think I did a pretty good

570
00:33:35,000 --> 00:33:37,720
Speaker 1: job of that. Like I was really aware even when

571
00:33:37,760 --> 00:33:40,400
Speaker 1: I was like working at soul Cycle and and also

572
00:33:40,520 --> 00:33:43,800
Speaker 1: writing for Smash and doing I had so many jobs

573
00:33:43,840 --> 00:33:47,959
Speaker 1: going on at once, but I knew that that was

574
00:33:48,080 --> 00:33:50,400
Speaker 1: still just a piece of my life that I had

575
00:33:50,440 --> 00:33:52,760
Speaker 1: to round out the rest of it. That like I

576
00:33:52,760 --> 00:33:55,320
Speaker 1: still needed to have fun and I needed to have

577
00:33:55,400 --> 00:33:58,960
Speaker 1: dinner parties, like you know, maybe it was just have

578
00:33:59,040 --> 00:34:01,479
Speaker 1: fun with my roommate. It was important to me that

579
00:34:01,560 --> 00:34:04,320
Speaker 1: the rest, even if this piece wasn't fully checked off,

580
00:34:04,320 --> 00:34:06,920
Speaker 1: that the rest was. I feel like you've done so

581
00:34:07,000 --> 00:34:09,600
Speaker 1: much and you've learned so many different halfs. You have

582
00:34:09,640 --> 00:34:13,479
Speaker 1: such an interesting perspective, and that you you know you've

583
00:34:13,520 --> 00:34:16,440
Speaker 1: done it from a bunch of different angles. Is there

584
00:34:16,560 --> 00:34:18,960
Speaker 1: is there aside? There is there a new aspect you

585
00:34:19,000 --> 00:34:26,040
Speaker 1: want to endeavor on that you haven't got upon yet. Um, Yeah,

586
00:34:26,160 --> 00:34:28,800
Speaker 1: I don't think I know what they are yet, but

587
00:34:29,040 --> 00:34:32,520
Speaker 1: love that. But I'm open, Like I'm just open to

588
00:34:32,560 --> 00:34:39,440
Speaker 1: doing new stuff or new um. Directing buckets actually that's

589
00:34:39,840 --> 00:34:42,680
Speaker 1: kind of the one thing I'm pretty sure I don't

590
00:34:42,680 --> 00:34:45,719
Speaker 1: want it to really, Yeah, I say that, and then

591
00:34:46,040 --> 00:34:49,480
Speaker 1: and then she's directing who We're just we'll play this

592
00:34:49,520 --> 00:34:55,000
Speaker 1: clip back exactly. Uh No, I mean I guess that. Yeah.

593
00:34:55,000 --> 00:34:56,920
Speaker 1: I can't rule it out. I won't rule anything out,

594
00:34:57,040 --> 00:34:59,960
Speaker 1: but I it's never ever been something that I've been

595
00:35:00,120 --> 00:35:05,839
Speaker 1: super drawn to. Um. I did like co direct this

596
00:35:06,280 --> 00:35:10,239
Speaker 1: commercial for Hello Bello, Dax and Christens Diaper Company, and

597
00:35:10,280 --> 00:35:14,640
Speaker 1: it was fun, but it's it's not it's not for me.

598
00:35:14,800 --> 00:35:16,319
Speaker 1: But you know what, knowing what you don't want to

599
00:35:16,320 --> 00:35:17,960
Speaker 1: do is just as important as knowing what you do

600
00:35:18,000 --> 00:35:20,600
Speaker 1: want to do. I think it's more important. I think

601
00:35:20,600 --> 00:35:23,080
Speaker 1: that's actually how you figure out what you want to do.

602
00:35:23,280 --> 00:35:26,239
Speaker 1: And I think not getting stuck in the idea, like

603
00:35:27,520 --> 00:35:30,840
Speaker 1: because you you know, you might start broadcast journalism and

604
00:35:30,840 --> 00:35:32,960
Speaker 1: like this is what I'm doing. I'm doing this, this

605
00:35:33,000 --> 00:35:35,160
Speaker 1: is what I want to do, and then you'd start

606
00:35:35,280 --> 00:35:37,399
Speaker 1: taking classes and you start doing and you're like, oh,

607
00:35:37,600 --> 00:35:42,279
Speaker 1: like I don't tell that that's exactly what's happened. Really, yeah,

608
00:35:42,640 --> 00:35:44,600
Speaker 1: but you have other stuff too, at least, so you

609
00:35:44,680 --> 00:35:48,360
Speaker 1: know I'm not stuck. I like to have options. Yeah,

610
00:35:48,400 --> 00:35:51,440
Speaker 1: but everyone has options, but they don't know that that

611
00:35:51,560 --> 00:35:54,960
Speaker 1: they think like, oh, now I'm pot committed, like I'm

612
00:35:54,760 --> 00:35:56,640
Speaker 1: I'm I'm taking these classes and I guess this is

613
00:35:56,640 --> 00:35:58,080
Speaker 1: the rest of my life. I don't like it, but

614
00:35:58,120 --> 00:36:00,839
Speaker 1: oh well, and you don't have to say, oh hell yeah,

615
00:36:00,880 --> 00:36:03,760
Speaker 1: there's always time for a pivot. I had a class

616
00:36:03,880 --> 00:36:07,880
Speaker 1: where literally every the theme was just hearing about people's

617
00:36:07,880 --> 00:36:10,360
Speaker 1: pivots and career essentially and how it changed and that

618
00:36:10,480 --> 00:36:13,200
Speaker 1: how what they thought they wanted to do, how it evolves,

619
00:36:13,280 --> 00:36:16,000
Speaker 1: and we need to like appreciate that instead of thinking

620
00:36:16,040 --> 00:36:17,719
Speaker 1: of change is a bad thing because I'm very I

621
00:36:17,760 --> 00:36:21,000
Speaker 1: don't do change very well. Yeah. Same, So it's very

622
00:36:21,000 --> 00:36:22,960
Speaker 1: hard for me. So I've been trying to embrace it,

623
00:36:23,000 --> 00:36:26,399
Speaker 1: which has been interesting. But we're going for it. Has

624
00:36:26,440 --> 00:36:29,879
Speaker 1: it has any positive come out of it? Yeah, I

625
00:36:29,960 --> 00:36:32,640
Speaker 1: will say I've lived more life, and I'd say I've

626
00:36:32,640 --> 00:36:35,799
Speaker 1: grown more in the past two months than I have

627
00:36:35,880 --> 00:36:39,080
Speaker 1: in a long time, and I love it. Yeah. No,

628
00:36:39,280 --> 00:36:43,280
Speaker 1: change is always hard, even when it's good. Yeah. Growing

629
00:36:43,320 --> 00:36:46,520
Speaker 1: pains are so real. Yeah they are. They are real.

630
00:36:46,680 --> 00:36:48,239
Speaker 1: But then you come out on the other side of

631
00:36:48,280 --> 00:36:51,719
Speaker 1: it and you've grown and you've learned, and then you

632
00:36:51,719 --> 00:36:53,480
Speaker 1: have the experience from it, and then you can talk

633
00:36:53,480 --> 00:37:00,839
Speaker 1: about it on a podcast exactly, exactly. Well, thank you

634
00:37:00,880 --> 00:37:03,600
Speaker 1: so much, Monica for taking the time to come on

635
00:37:03,719 --> 00:37:06,239
Speaker 1: my podcast. I look up to you and your work

636
00:37:06,280 --> 00:37:08,719
Speaker 1: ethic and your drive so much, so I just really

637
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Speaker 1: appreciate you taking the time. Thank you. I appreciate it

638
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Speaker 1: so much. This has been so fun. Thank you amazing.

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Speaker 1: Yaiya