WEBVTT - Don't stay there

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio.

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<v Speaker 1>Good Morning. This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.

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<v Speaker 1>Today's tip is that it is fine to have weaknesses.

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<v Speaker 1>It's good to acknowledge them. But and this is the

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<v Speaker 1>most important part, don't stay there, make a plan to improve.

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<v Speaker 1>I am all about knowing ourselves. We've all been asked

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<v Speaker 1>about our greatest weakness and job interviews, and while that

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<v Speaker 1>is a terrible question, knowing that we have areas where

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<v Speaker 1>we struggle is important. That said, I've noticed that sometimes

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<v Speaker 1>when people acknowledge their weaknesses, they feel free from responsibility

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<v Speaker 1>for overcoming those weaknesses. I I'm sure you've noticed this too.

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<v Speaker 1>Someone says I'm terrible with names, and you know this

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<v Speaker 1>person is not even going to bother trying to remember yours.

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<v Speaker 1>Someone says, oh, I'm always late and just expects you

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<v Speaker 1>to deal with that. A colleague says I'm terrible at

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<v Speaker 1>organizing meetings as a way to explain why his meander

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<v Speaker 1>and don't seem to accomplish much. Or perhaps a relative

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<v Speaker 1>says he just doesn't know how to use zoom and

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<v Speaker 1>expects you to go to his apartment every week to

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<v Speaker 1>set it up. For your extended family zoom call. The

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<v Speaker 1>crazy thing about this is that no one is naturally

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<v Speaker 1>good or bad at anything. When people appear to be

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<v Speaker 1>naturally gifted at remembering names, it's because they consider it

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<v Speaker 1>rude to forget a name, and so they have put

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<v Speaker 1>the time and mental effort into making sure they remember

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<v Speaker 1>the names of anyone they encounter once a week or more.

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<v Speaker 1>When people are always prompt, it's not because they are

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<v Speaker 1>just naturally on time. It's because they have thought through

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<v Speaker 1>how much time it will take to get somewhere, and

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<v Speaker 1>they have built in time for something to go wrong.

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<v Speaker 1>This isn't a skill that is completely inaccessible to everyone else.

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<v Speaker 1>Anyone can learn to do that. It's just some people

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<v Speaker 1>don't bother. They value other things more than being where

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<v Speaker 1>they said they'd be at the time they said they'd

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<v Speaker 1>be there. Now, I'm not actually saying this is good

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<v Speaker 1>or bad. I know there are reasons for everything. It

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<v Speaker 1>might be the right choice to stay talking with someone

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<v Speaker 1>who really needs you rather than getting to an unimportant

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<v Speaker 1>meeting promptly, but it is always a choice of what

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<v Speaker 1>we put our time and attention into. When we spend

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<v Speaker 1>time doing something and learning to do it, better, We

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<v Speaker 1>just become better at it. As an example, hardly anyone

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<v Speaker 1>knew how to use zoom two years ago. Now it's

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<v Speaker 1>just part of the work day. In any case, when

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<v Speaker 1>you know something is a weakness, it is fine to

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<v Speaker 1>acknowledge that this is where you are now. But don't

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<v Speaker 1>pitch a tent. Don't stay there. Make a plan for

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<v Speaker 1>getting better. We are not aiming for pro level, but

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<v Speaker 1>we can at least get to the point of being decent.

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<v Speaker 1>So if you hear yourself talking about a weakness, discipline

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<v Speaker 1>yourself to share your plans for progress too. I am

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<v Speaker 1>a total couch potato and I'm working on getting more

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<v Speaker 1>active by walking with my neighbor on Saturday mornings. I'm

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<v Speaker 1>bad with money, so I'm reading a book about personal

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<v Speaker 1>finance to build my knowledge and skills. My handwriting is illegible,

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<v Speaker 1>so I've started keeping a journal so i could get

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<v Speaker 1>more practice with writing. Don't let yourself name a weakness

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<v Speaker 1>without also noting your plan for getting a little better.

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<v Speaker 1>This is a good approach to model for other people

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<v Speaker 1>in your life, particularly the young people. Do you want

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<v Speaker 1>your kids to accept that they're just bad at math,

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<v Speaker 1>or music or making friends? Of course, not. Maybe such

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<v Speaker 1>things are slightly easier for some people than others, but

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<v Speaker 1>we can all get better with effort. So when a

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<v Speaker 1>child says he or she is bad at something, ask

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<v Speaker 1>how they plan to get better. I stink at science,

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<v Speaker 1>So what are you doing to strengthen your skills there?

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<v Speaker 1>Or what support do you need to improve? I know

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<v Speaker 1>of a teacher who nudges her students into this mindset.

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<v Speaker 1>If they say I can't, she says you what, as

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<v Speaker 1>if she must have misunderstood because they couldn't possibly have

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<v Speaker 1>said that they simply can't do something that's within the

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<v Speaker 1>normal range of human activities. She prompts them to rephrase,

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<v Speaker 1>to say that they are having trouble or can't do

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<v Speaker 1>something yet. The culture is that you don't settle with limitations.

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<v Speaker 1>You could improve if you put effort into it. I

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<v Speaker 1>love this idea, taking what we think we are bad

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<v Speaker 1>at and saying we're just having trouble with it, which

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<v Speaker 1>is about action, not identity, or that we're not great yet.

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<v Speaker 1>We are acknowledging this truth, but acknowledging that this isn't immutable.

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<v Speaker 1>When we take where we are as a starting point

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<v Speaker 1>instead of a stuck point, we put ourselves on a

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<v Speaker 1>path to growth. In the meantime, they is Laura. Thanks

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<v Speaker 1>for listening and here's to making the most of our time.

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<v Speaker 1>Hey everybody, I'd love to hear from you. You can

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<v Speaker 1>send me your tips, your questions, or anything else. Just

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<v Speaker 1>connect with me on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at Before

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<v Speaker 1>Breakfast Pod that's b E the number four, then breakfast

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<v Speaker 1>p o D. You can also shoot me an email

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<v Speaker 1>at Before Breakfast podcast at i heeart media dot com

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<v Speaker 1>that Before Breakfast is spelled out with all the letters.

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<v Speaker 1>Thanks so much, I look forward to staying in touch.

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<v Speaker 1>Before Breakfast is a production of I Heart Radio. For

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